Sore roof of mouth and gum boil | | Orthotropics - Promoting and guiding craniofacial growth via natural means

I have a toothache on the right side that needs a root canal. I'm waiting for my state insurance to approve the procedure. The only thing is that I don't necessarily feel pain on my tooth. It's more like soreness. It goes my from neck, to my jaw, and all the way to my cheek, right below my eye. I took 400mg ibuprofen in the morning and it helped for most of the day, but now that feeling is coming back. I tried to research if it was normal and I found some reddit threads and like two people mentioned they knew someone that died from a toothache. I've had a root canal before, and I was in excruciating pain before that, possibly worse than what I'm currently going through. I just think I'm letting it get to my head.
I fucked up and had a really sweet muffin yesterday and I think that's what aggravated the feeling I have today. I had a weird sensation and I started feeling disoriented but I think I was freaking myself out. I'm going to call my dentist tomorrow because he offered to take the nerve out in the meantime if it was making me uncomfortable. I declined at first because I had PTSD from a previously botched root canal but now I'm wonder if I should've just made the appointment when I had the chance. Last time they put me on amoxicillin before the procedure but this time they didn't. Surely that means the infection isn't that bad right?
Doesn't help that I'm getting chest pain but I think that's my heart burn because I ate spicy food yesterday and my anxiety has been through the roof for the last month. Anyone experience something similar and was okay in the end? I'm okay with even losing the tooth at this point. I'd rather not, but I'm just too scared of the infection spreading elsewhere. Please provide some support.

I want to start by saying I am aware everyone's case is different. I'm not stating this is the ultimate cure for everyone since long covid is a unique case for each individual.
So I started experiencing long covid since Jan 2022 after an infection that passed fairly quickly, i got the vaccine a few weeks after. By July 2022 I starting experiencing strange symptoms which I know now to be long covid. I had two symptoms: A pressure throbbing facial pain 24/7 behind my nose, eyes and forehead and an elevated temperature 99.5-100F. I did the initial rounds like we all have and everything kept coming back normal, got on nerve medications but they failed. They told me I had atypical facial pain trigeminal neuralgia type 2. I was pretty much left in the dark. I didn't know what I had could possibly be long covid until March 2024. After finding people similar to my case, I talked to my doctor about it and started researching.
March 2024 I was put on Nurtec ODT this helped me manage my pain to some level, its used for migraines
April 2024: I started targeting the viral load and spike protein degeneration via supplementation and prescriptions.
Prescriptions:

Ivermectin - every other day for 6 days, now once a week. I will keep doing this for many more months regardless, and if i get infected again it will be first thing i take for 3 days straight. I saw this work first hand on my dad in 2021 but I didn't take it when i got infected.
Clarithromycin - Currently finishing up my 2 week course i got this for SIBO overgrowth from covid immune suppression. Its showing up on long haulers, overgrowth can cause brain fog and headaches. You can ask your provider for a test.

Supplements:

NAC - 500mg 2x a day for spike protein denaturation
Vit C - 1500-2000mg a day
Glutathione 250 mg once a day for spike protein denaturation
Nicotine gum - 2mg 2x a day (To bind to the acetylcholine receptors covid binds to, so it can be released and broken down with supplements)
Quercetin - 1x a day
Antihistamine - Allegra D 1x a day with a low histamine diet.
Vitamin B complex (therapeutic doses for nerve regeneration) - Brand: Nuphoria.com
Oregano oil - Antibacterial, antifungal, antiviral 2x a day for 3 weeks with a one week break in between.
Gut repai recover supplement - Brand: Mybrainco.com
Licorice root tea - Natural blood thinner that got recommended to me for possible covid microclotting
ashwagandha - 1x a day at bedtime, helps with covid.

Honorable mentions I didn't try: Nattokinase (for spike protein denaturation)
****IMPORTANT: STOPPED TAKING MAGNESIUM. I see people reacting to food even on low histamine diets. I had to even stop my multivitamin. Why cut magnesium off? My provider told me that mRNA strand was cut using an enzyme that is activated with magnesium, and deactivated with NAC, EDTA, high doses of vitamin C or glutathione. IF anyone knows how enzymes work, they help chemical reactions by catalyzing them to completion. I suspect this is why I still was reacting to food even on a low histamine diet.
Also could be why carnivore diet helps long haulers bc there is less magnesium in red meat, higher concentrations are in fruits and even higher in vegetables. Still some amount of magnesium will enter your body its in most foods and impossible to get 100% around it, but lowering it as much as you can could really help in your recovery.
Through out this whole process i started developing other covid symptoms I didn't have the past 2 years, I knew this was a good sign because they would only last 24hrs max. For example: Chest tightness, shortness of breath going up steps, fatigue. Recently I developed strange rotten smells and a metallic taste in my mouth. ALL of these were signs I was well on my way to recovery because my atypical facial pain and elevated temperature was 95% gone. Now I don't have ANY symptoms at all.

Is this herpes?
Hey everyone! Recently I’ve had a new sexual partner for a couple months now. I’ve tested negative for everything the only issue is they have never tested me for herpes. Ever since I’ve met him I’ve been getting sick every couple of weeks (could be a coincidence) and i just noticed that I’ve had a recurrent mouth ulcer? Canker sore? At the roof of my mouth. The last time I was sick last month for a week with a sore throat and I got the canker sore at the roof of my mouth again, usually very painful, one huge spot and white all over the spot. I got sick again on Sunday, sore throat, congested, fever and now its Wednesday and I’m feeling another canker sore coming on in the roof of my mouth. I’m worried sick, my partner is amazing, yes he is my boyfriend so I’m wondering if I have herpes? Is this a sign?
Also i would also like to note a week or so after my first canker sore appeared he seemed to have the same one around the same spot (upper gums) I’m just worried sick and I hope this isn’t going to be lifelong, having a painful mouth for few days is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Please help!
Another note I know it might be herpes the only thing is I don’t have any scabbing, or cold sores its just always on the roof of my mouth very white

Hi! So ever since I was in elementary school I've had really bad tics. Opening my mouth wide, my eyes, neck rolling, and MINIMAL noise (like sucking in slightly and making a small whimper noise ig). Mid Highschool they all went away with very rare times when they'd pop up for a day or so. Lately since I started my new job at amazon they've been HORRENDOUS. I cant really breath when my eye tic goes off, so I feel consistently out of breath, my neck is constantly sore, and I can tell its affecting my physical health. What should I do? is there a way to help??
Im happy to give more info I just dont know what to do atm, its getting painful

Some back story, about 17 years ago I had a terrible OB on my face and mouth, absolutely horrible. I went to the doctor and honestly my memory is so bad about this but I believe he swabbed it without a result but instead told me HSV from blood test (I think, I honestly don't remember 100%).
Based on how it looked visually and what I had eaten that week (mangoes) I was certain it was an allergic reaction. Mangoes have the same properties in the skin as poison ivy. The OB looked exactly like mango allergy pictures versus cold sore pictures. I've never had a full blown dark red blister. It's usually a tingle, swelling, itching, oozing, crusting, and tiny tiny bumps. Over time it's been even less than this. I also noticed this happens after certain lip balms. So all in all I was convinced it's related to allergic reactions and not HSV. Certain fruit properties and such.
Granted I went through extreme trauma with the thought of cold sores, especially the first year. I became a bit OCD and devastated. I wouldn't even hold my niece when she was born. I felt and thought my life was over. After connecting it to allergic reaction I guess convinced myself this is what it was, I have control by avoiding these things etc and honestly it got better. I healed sort of and moved on. Not gone I guess but somewhat forgotten. I get reactions maybe 3 times a year and as mentioned never the true dark red blister you see in pictures.
Fast forward, I'm 34 weeks pregnant and all the sudden I'm connecting the dots and feeling panicked like this is likely OHSV-1. I talked to my husband about it and I mentioned it in the past but he also thought allergies based on visual of it. He's never had any symptoms oral or genital. I've never had genital that I'm aware of.
I'm feeling extremely devastated and scared for my husband and newborn. I'm going to see if I can get on antivirals at 36 weeks and after baby's birth even though I hate the idea I want him safe. They say antivirals are safe but there's no real studies to prove it during pregnancy and breastfeeding so that's scary.
My husband and I have been together for a long time but now I'm thinking how will we ever do oral stuff again even though we have in the past. I'm spiraling. I saw a bump appear on my hand and put a bandaid over it. Paranoid what if I get an OB on nipple etc I've read this can happen. How will I cope when my baby is born. I'm going to be a mess of paranoia and fear for him.
Finally, please if someone can explain if I can reliably get blood tested and what this could show if I've had it for 17 years or more. Thank you.

I have always suffered from extremely severe cold sores from someone kissing me when I was young (like spread on my face severely). While less severe now thankfully, still worse than the average person. They’ve always made me feel terrible, so embarrassed, just about 2 feet tall. So ever since I was little I said I wouldn’t let anyone do that to my kids, so I made a “no mouth rule” for my baby who is now 6 months old (kisses, sharing cups, blowing raspberries on his skin), other than from my husband and me. This rule has absolutely been disobeyed by in laws which finally came to a big family blow out basically and hopefully will NOT be happening again.
My husband never suffered the terrible face sores and how they make you feel so absolutely does not agree with this rule. He feels we should let family kiss baby anywhere other than lips and hands (maybe cheeks). I’ve read that they can be spread from even places like eyes and the top of the head if a sore is active so I wasn’t comfortable with this. If a family member had a sore, I know they would absolutely kiss baby regardless because it’s not hardwired in their brain like it is mine, it’d be no big deal to them because they never suffered like I have. He said I was being hypocritical because his family doesn’t get cold sores and I do and I kiss the baby. I wanted to see the science behind me kissing him. Does anyone know? Did I seal him with the same fate as me?
I still get frequent cold sores, but can feel them coming on so I will not kiss baby when I have them. I refuse to touch the cold sore area with my hands period, I very frequently wash my hands, I do not share eating utensils with baby, I won’t wipe my face with hand towels, I throw away my toothbrush after, won’t re use cups, will drink out of straw or not drink with that side of my mouth, etc. Basically I do everything I can to stay as hygienic as possible. I keep baby away from my mouth area if I have an active sore and if baby accidentally brushes me, I will wash his hands or baby wipe him down immediately.
Baby is exclusively breastfed, born via c section if it matters. I will absolutely love all over baby when no sores are active (still try to avoid his mouth always). Someone please just tell me thoughts on if I’ve infected my baby and if I am being unreasonable with my wishes. This has caused so much heartache for me with all the grief and tension in my family and tons of sleepless nights for me being so stressed about people not following my wishes.

Malcolm's heart pounds through the design of a moth circling a lit candle on his black t-shirt. The morning sun creeps over the horizon. Saturating his pallor skin with blood orange rays. Malcolm’s short auburn hair flits in the wind.The crimson clouds overhead appear as if the sky is bleeding. Malcolm peers ahead. The straight path before him. a cruel joke. It's a relentless reminder of the unyielding grip his past has on him. Each step a battle against the anxiety dragging him back into the darknessHeavy-eyed, he gazes upon the looming hotel. Parking in the parking lot, illuminated by a lonely streetlight. The air, thick with the scents of morning dew and urine. An assault on the senses. Ahead, cowers a young lady. Her face, bearing too much rouge. Her delicate jawline, framed by red hair, though it's now past its prime. Her attire speaks of success, but the swollen left eye betrays her. Short red skirt. Black fishnet stockings over long. Thin legs, her feet fight to fit into petite black high heels. a faded sky blue tank-top. Christened with a spattering of fresh blood—amongst other fluids.Her current trick is an arrogant punk with tall, drooping shoulders. He wears an ire-filled smile and an unkempt goatee. His cue ball head reflects the streetlight. Revealing his ugly dark-blue Dickies covered in grease. As well as With his open, garish work shirt, exposing a red wife-beater. Sean managed to embody everything Malcolm found repulsive. A name tag hangs off the punk’s shirt like a crooked portrait: Sean.Scumbags like Sean are a tempting meal. Malcolm’s mouth waters. He tries to look away. Bang! Malcolm snaps his head up. His eyes find the streetwalker as she rolls off the hood of a shitty muscle car—no doubt Sean’s. A smart man would mind his own business. When a man has an opportunity for pleasure. it's hard to resist. Malcolm is an anomaly and anything but “smart”.The air crackles with tension as Sean's words slice through. “The fuck you want?”Give me a reason. The thought chants in Malcolm’s head. A surge of anger courses through Malcolm. his muscles tense with the urge to retaliate, but beneath the surface, fear gnaws at him. .Sean steps up to Malcolm. Within seconds, they stand eye-to-eye. “Mind your own business, man,” Sean says."Is this really worth it?" the girl asks, her voice tinged burdened with pain.Give me a reason. The thought continues to chant in Malcolm’s head. With each word. the atmosphere grows heavier, suffocating Malcolm with a sense of dread. He struggles to keep his composure, his thoughts an eye in the storm.“I will fuck you up.” Sean says.Give me a reason.The girl buckles as she tries to get back up.. Sean kicks her. “Stay down, bitch!” The sight of Sean's violence against the girl sends a jolt of hunger through Malcolm. His blood boils as he watches her struggle.“Fuck off.” Sean lobs a fist at Malcolm; to Sean’s pupils are pins, Malcolm allows it to connect.His lip split, Malcolm tastes the familiar rush of life filling his mouth. pain explodes through his senses, followed by a rush. It's a familiar sensation, one that ignites a fire. Action beats from Malcolm’s heart to his limbs. Joy washes over him. Sean’s eyes widen, his true cowardice reveals itself now that trouble flashes in front of his eye.Malcolm gives him a cheerful grimace and spits out “Thank you.”

I have always suffered from extremely severe cold sores from someone kissing me when I was young (like spread on my face severely). While less severe now thankfully, still worse than the average person. They’ve always made me feel terrible, so embarrassed, just about 2 feet tall. So ever since I was little I said I wouldn’t let anyone do that to my kids, so I made a “no mouth rule” for my baby who is now 6 months old (kisses, sharing cups, blowing raspberries on his skin), other than from my husband and me. This rule has absolutely been disobeyed by in laws which finally came to a big family blow out basically and hopefully will NOT be happening again.
My husband never suffered the terrible face sores and how they make you feel so absolutely does not agree with this rule. He feels we should let family kiss baby anywhere other than lips and hands (maybe cheeks). I’ve read that they can be spread from even places like eyes and the top of the head if a sore is active so I wasn’t comfortable with this. If a family member had a sore, I know they would absolutely kiss baby regardless because it’s not hardwired in their brain like it is mine, it’d be no big deal to them because they never suffered like I have. He said I was being hypocritical because his family doesn’t get cold sores and I do and I kiss the baby. I wanted to see the science behind me kissing him. Did I seal him with the same fate as me?
I still get frequent cold sores, but can feel them coming on so I will not kiss baby when I have them. I refuse to touch the cold sore area with my hands period, I very frequently wash my hands, I do not share eating utensils with baby, I won’t wipe my face with hand towels, I throw away my toothbrush after, won’t re use cups, will drink out of straw or not drink with that side of my mouth, etc. Basically I do everything I can to stay as hygienic as possible. I keep baby away from my mouth area if I have an active sore and if baby accidentally brushes me, I will wash his hands or baby wipe him down immediately.
Baby is exclusively breastfed, born via c section if it matters. I will absolutely love all over baby when no sores are active (still try to avoid his mouth always). Someone please just tell me if I’ve infected my baby and if I am being unreasonable with my wishes. This has caused so much heartache for me with all the grief and tension in my family.
Info: Female, in 20s 5’4ish, 120 lbs.

In a flash of inspiration I suggested a small AU idea on discord... And people encouraged me to cook and cook hard. So I did and here's the result. I will likely have this as a 'backburner' fic to Broken Birds, writing one when I have no energy for other, so this will be lower in priority, but I hope it's enjoyable for you anyway.
Thanks to SpacePaladin15 for great universe, characters and letting fanfiction flow, as well as JulianSkies for inspiring the name of the fic and several other discord members (you KNOW who you are) for encouraging my horribleness. Without further ado... Let's open the doors of this AU.
CW: Arxur Dietary Habits, Child Suffering, Dismemberment
Memory Transcription Subject: Stynek, Venlil Cattle
Date [standardized human time]: July 12, 2136
Fur surrounding my eyes hurt from layers upon layers of dried tears. I’ve cried so much over past months, with nobody to tell me it’s going to be okay. I missed mommy. I missed my teacher. I missed my friends. I was surrounded by strangers, some of different species, but mostly venlil. None of them cared when I cried. Most cried by themselves, and to themselves instead. Nobody wanted to really talk to me, except this one other venlil child I met. I don’t even remember the name he told me. But he did know something. That me and him wouldn’t be eaten for a while because we’re too young. Unless someone important wanted to eat us. That’s why adults are bitter at the children. We weren’t in the ‘breeding pen’, whatever that meant, but in the food pen. And until I was old enough to be ‘sufficiently edible’, I’d stay here. Adults knew that. They knew that when arxur came around and chose meals out of the crowd, they’d ignore the scrawny child, so they were bitter at my luck.
I wanted to cry again, but at this point, no tears were coming out. I wished I could talk to the boy, but we got separated when they moved me and a bunch of adults onto the ship. I overheard some adults mumbling about us being rations. That made me cry more when I realized what it meant. Did it mean I was lied to? That I really was old enough to be eaten after all? I regretted wanting to grow up sooner. I was always upset when mom told me I couldn’t do something. I had to listen both because she was my mom and because she was our Governor. Now I missed hearing her voice, even if it was just telling me that I must go to bed on time and stop snacking too much before second meal.
It’s been days since I was brought to the ship. Unlike the pens I’ve been in before, this one was slowly emptying. Before, new people always were thrown in to replace ones taken to be eaten. Every day a few people would be grabbed by the arxur and dragged out. Some screaming and pleading for mercy. Those just get ignored, as everyone, myself included, huddles together in far corner. Others would accept their fate and let themselves be taken. Those are even sadder. More people start crying after seeing someone who looks dead even while still breathing taken to be finished off.
I rubbed my temple where there was still a small wound. Every cattle taken to this ship had their implants removed. I couldn’t understand anything non-venlil were saying. Or arxur for that matter. Not that much was being said...
Suddenly every head was up and all ears were flicking. I slightly turned my head to see towards the entrance. An arxur, standing in doorway, slowly scanning the crowd with predatory glint. My sense of time was barely intact, but schedule was rigid, it was too early for feeding time today. So why are they here and why are they selecting a prey already?
Suddenly I realized that it was looking directly at me, its binocular gaze locking onto my eye. I couldn’t help my reaction, yelping and flinching away, trying to scuttle towards the corner. But it seems the arxur made its choice. As it stepped and started walking towards me, the crowd parted. It was almost like that experiment with anti-magnets my teacher showed once in class, except I was the one repelling everyone around me. I tried reaching out and crawling towards them, but they just furthered the distance. Nobody was willing to contest arxur’s chosen meal.
“Please... I don’t want to...”, I cried, but it fell on deaf ears. Then I felt it. A scaly hand of a monster wrapped around my ankle. I tried thrashing, but before I could, I was lifted upside down, hitting my head on cold hard floor in process. Ow... It hurt. My vision blurred, from both the hit dizzying me and the tears that were now filling my eyes. I was being taken out... To be devoured by predators... Daddy... Mommy... “Mommy... Mommy!”
I didn’t hear anything but my own cries and clacks of arxur claws against metal floor as I was taken out of the pen. Outside of pen always seemed like nicer place to be. It was better lit and cleaner from what little I could glimpse whenever door opened. Now I’d give anything just to go back to the dirty pen, huddled together with people who don’t care about me... I didn’t want to die! I wanted to go home! To my mom and dad... Why... Wasn’t I too young? Why did that boy lie to me?! I hated him!
I couldn’t even tell where I was being taken. I knew nothing about layout of the ship. It was cleaner, it was brighter. But also there were more arxur than singular one that kept coming into the pen to take people. Being carried upside down by the leg hurt and made it disorienting but even with that I couldn’t miss how every time I entered an arxur’s field of vision, their head sharply turning to stare directly at me right until we turned another corner. I realized that I was crying out loud by now, but of course predators knew no emotion, they ignored my anguish.
Then finally, it seems, we reached a destination. I was brought to a room with a big table. Table? It was ridiculous to think predators even use tables... But there were three sitting at it. One was an arxur, particularly large and imposing. But two others were... creatures I’ve never seen before. One glimpse was enough to tell me they were predators. And they were covered in clothing, more than I’ve seen anyone ever wear. Worst thing is though, they were clearly talking to the big arxur, with external translator on the table constantly translating arxur’s hisses into the other predator’s growling noises.
This is it. Arxur found another sapient predator. The worst monsters in the galaxy now found allies. Least I could comfort myself with was that mommy would be safe... But now I felt like it’s not just me that’s about to end, but whole universe.
The arxur that was carrying me smacked me down onto the table, a fair distance away from others. I kept crying and sobbing. I think some pleads for help and for my mom came out, but I couldn’t even make out my own words. I was so scared. I was ready for fangs to pierce into my neck. And yet I wasn’t, I wasn’t ready, please, anything by that. Both the big arxur and the new predators were staring me down in hunger as I felt the worst pain of my life. My leg, held firmly to the table, burned in agony... and then pain was all I knew there. I couldn’t feel anything below my knee other than pain. Pain... Pain! I cried out at the top of my lungs, but pain wasn’t getting better. My cry did not stop until my throat burnt, but that pain was like an itch compared to what my leg felt like.
With sight blurred, I saw it. The arxur that held me down dropped my own ankle down near the big one that seemed to be in charge, staining table with orange blood. Big arxur tore a chunk off, extending it towards other predators, but they seemed to just talk. Then big arxur stopped for a few moments, tossed the chunk into its horrid mouth, and motioned to one still holding me down.
Then, for a second time in last few minutes I experienced the most agonizing pain in my life, surpassing even the pain before at least tenfold. It burned! It hurt! My throat, already sore and barely able to make sounds got revived for just long enough to let out another cry before giving out again. I wanted to pass out as I was butchered alive, but it was just so painful that I couldn’t... I was forced to be aware of how the rest of the leg, from knee to hip, was brought towards the mystery predators, sliced in half and then... That explained why it hurt so much more. Why it still hurts even more. The blade that second chop was done with was red hot, and now used to burn away at the chunks presented to the predators. They recoiled from heat, as pieces of me were presented, but after a few moments of consideration, reached out and tore a few small pieces of orange legs off my dismembered calf, starting to chew. The one with long fur on their head, seemed to almost choke on the heat, while the one with dark coloration just stared at me intently, making eye contact that I could perceive even through pain and tears directly with me, hungrily chewing, no doubt wanting more than scrap it was given...
I couldn’t watch anymore I closed my eyes, beginning to whine and sniffle. I tried calling out for mom, but my mouth was suddenly clamped shut with a band, so I couldn’t even make any more noises. Pain made it hard to move at all, and with my leg chop being replaced with a burn, I wasn’t bleeding... so I couldn’t even get the release of death. Worse yet, predators were far from eager to finish me off. I was always told their bloodthirst was the only thing that defined them, but they just left me to suffer on the table as they kept talking in their horrible noises. Their sadism was much stronger than bloodlust, that’s the only explanation...
As I lay there, I eventually let my eyelids slide open. The new predators and arxur were engaged in some conversation, piece of leg in front of arxur in charge gone completely, and pieces in front of mystery predators visibly smaller. Arxur regularly typed some things, demonstrating some things on the screen. A bunch of warrior arxur banded together, a big star chart divided in weird ways, some weird colorless picture of countless dead prey animals, unfamiliar and likely non-sapient... And then a video. A venlil exterminator, fighting off a group of arxur. She managed to get two monsters burnt before getting overwhelmed, their mask torn off before their head is bitten off by one of the greys. The moment it happens, new predators both turn their eyes towards me instantly, opened wide with hunger. I flinched away again, tears managing to flow again. The arxur were horrible... They were about to sic those new predators on Venlil Prime, I knew it in my heart. They gave them taste of our flesh, and showed them how we might be dangerous... despite the fact that we were weakest and helpless. The new predators will make us into their cattle with ease and be empowered, before proceeding to move onto the rest of Federation...
There was movement. The predators and big arxur all stood up, then locked their hands in some contest of strength momentarily. The predator with long head fur pointed towards me, and then they all stared at me for a moment. Then the conversation moved on. The arxur holding me down grabbed me again, by my remaining leg and carried me off. I felt some blood drip down my fur with me being turned like that...
There was more walking, but it was even harder to pay attention in the haze that was covering my mind. I understood what the people that were taken without struggle felt now. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I just wanted it to be over... It hurts... It hurts so much...
I felt my arms moved, hands tied behind my back, and then I was handed over to the dark-colored mystery predator. It wasn’t as large as an arxur, but it could still lift me with ease, tossing me over the shoulder like I’m a sack of ipsom flour. A momentary look around showed that I was inside a smaller shuttle now, built very different from what the insides of larger ship was. I was... being taken elsewhere again. Why...?
Some more talking in the scary predator languages, and the door separating mystery predators and the arxur closed. Once that happened, there was instant rush. I found myself tossed into some white and cold room, still bound. I could hear the predators argue, that much loud yelling at one another could only be an argument. I felt the hum of ship starting up and vibration of launch. Then after a bit, I saw the long furred predator rush past me and towards something in the back of room, at which points it made noises so horrid, that I found myself crying again. I don’t know what it was doing back there, and I didn’t want to know. The dark colored one just kept looking over the burnt stump where my leg once was. And all throughout they kept growling and shouting at one another... I was going to be torn in half between the two, wasn’t I?
Instead I felt the binds on my arms and around my face cut. First thing, I opened my mouth and took a deep breath... Only to choke on air, as it was even cooler than I expected... White room, cool air, hungry predators looking over my bloodied bits and making horrid noises... I was about to be refrigerated to be kept for future. I was rations that arxur graciously gifted to these monsters. Why...? Why me?!
I tried crying, but my throat refused to make noise after earlier screaming tore it apart. Only low coughs escaped as tears completely filled my vision. There was more. More pain, a burst of it where my leg was supposed to be, then a small prick at my other leg... More memories, of my happy family and friends at school, replaced with grimy cattle pens and constant fear... More regrets at things I wanted to do and try, but never got to... But none of it mattered. I was already dead. Even if I was still breathing and moving, I was dead the moment a grey grabbed me and dragged me onto that cursed cattle ship of theirs... It just took me until now to truly comprehend it.
The last thing I thought of as pain dulled out, finally giving way to bliss of unconsciousness, was my mom’s soft wool and warm embrace, and how I never got to feel it properly for last time before dying... Mommy... I’m sorry...

I’m not sure if any of you consider this littering but I do. Right when Emma picked Ellie up from school in today’s video she took her gum out of her mouth and threw it out the window.

I have always suffered from extremely severe cold sores from someone kissing me when I was young (like spread on my face severely). While less severe now thankfully, still worse than the average person. They’ve always made me feel terrible, so embarrassed, just about 2 feet tall. So ever since I was little I said I wouldn’t let anyone do that to my kids, so I made a “no mouth rule” for my baby who is now 6 months old (kisses, sharing cups, blowing raspberries on his skin), other than from my husband and me. This rule has absolutely been disobeyed by in laws which finally came to a big family blow out basically and hopefully will NOT be happening again.
My husband never suffered the terrible face sores and how they make you feel so absolutely does not agree with this rule. He feels we should let family kiss baby anywhere other than lips and hands (maybe cheeks). I’ve read that they can be spread from even places like eyes and the top of the head if a sore is active so I wasn’t comfortable with this. If a family member had a sore, I know they would absolutely kiss baby regardless because it’s not hardwired in their brain like it is mine, it’d be no big deal to them because they never suffered like I have. He said I was being hypocritical because his family doesn’t get cold sores and I do and I kiss the baby. I wanted to see the science behind me kissing him. Did I seal him with the same fate as me?
I still get frequent cold sores, but can feel them coming on so I will not kiss baby when I have them. I refuse to touch the cold sore area with my hands period, I very frequently wash my hands, I do not share eating utensils with baby, I won’t wipe my face with hand towels, I throw away my toothbrush after, won’t re use cups, will drink out of straw or not drink with that side of my mouth, etc. Basically I do everything I can to stay as hygienic as possible. I keep baby away from my mouth area if I have an active sore and if baby accidentally brushes me, I will wash his hands or baby wipe him down immediately.
Baby is exclusively breastfed, born via c section if it matters. I will absolutely love all over baby when no sores are active (still try to avoid his mouth always). Someone please just tell me if I’ve infected my baby and if I am being unreasonable with my wishes. This has caused so much heartache for me with all the grief and tension in my family.

It seems like she’s feeling insecure again. I keep my eyes shut tight, preparing myself for the song and dance I had been through so many times before. The weight of the bed shifts under me as she crawls under the blankets. A cold limb flops over my torso, wrapping me in a frigid embrace. I resist the urge to flinch as the moist, squishy mass of flesh presses into my forehead, a tickling droplet of fluid slides down my face and over my tightly pursed lips. Not daring to move, I waited patiently for the words I knew must come. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, a muffled teary voice sounds in a desperate tone:
“Do you...”
The voice falters, emitting several low-pitched, labored gurgles before continuing:
“Love me?”
Without hesitation I respond, as gently as could be managed:
“Of course I love you. But it’s time to go back to sleep now, okay?”
The gurgling continues, higher pitched now, like an excited baby. After a few moments the squishy mass detaches itself from my forehead, and the weight in the bed shifts. The gentle smacking of feet against hardwood floor, and a door quietly closing across the house resound in the otherwise silent room. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I rock gently back and forth with my head in between my legs, resisting the tears that are fighting to escape. I allow a few moments of this pointless self-pity before forcing myself to stand up.
I walk down the hallway to the bathroom, not allowing my eyes to stray to the door to what used to be my room. A look in the mirror reveals that my forehead has already started breaking out in small orange pustules, along with a small streak of them where the fluid had dripped down my face. At least it didn't get in my mouth this time. That isn’t a panic I would like to revisit. I retrieve the small bottle of vinegar from the medicine cabinet and apply it to a cotton ball, beginning the tedious task of treating my face. A harsher acid would probably do a better job, but I prefer to avoid the stinging even if the pustules disappear more slowly. It’s not like I need to look handsome for anyone. It’s unlikely she can even really see me.
Once my skin is sufficiently covered in the stuff, I grab a bucket and mop, and clean the wet footprints from the hallway, and from the living room where my bed is located. Most of the wood flooring throughout the house is already somewhat corroded, but I’d prefer to keep my home intact to the extent that I am able. Although it’s up to anyone’s guess what manner of hellscape the bedroom must look like. I hadn’t been in that room in a long time. That was her domain now, and there was no reason for me to enter. No reason to take that risk.
I light the small gas cooktop in the kitchen and get to work making food for the day. Canned food is surprisingly appetizing when there’s nothing to do but eat. It would taste better with some seasoning, but there was no point in going through that much effort. This food serves one purpose, and that’s to keep us from starving. I slide one plate under the crack between the floor and the bedroom door and sit down in the living room with the other plate in hand.
The book on the coffee table catches my eye as it does every morning. Sighing, I pick up the ratty collection of pages and flip to a random one. One of the few books on the “Great Plague” as they call it, that was ever published, or at least, the only one I could ever find. Titled “The End” by Jared Kramer, It was more of a fanatical opinion piece than a proper informative book, but Kramer at least provided a bit of information on the virus, how the transformation works, and what methods could be used to, in his words, “Cure” the afflicted. A shotgun was noted as the best medicine, with gasoline and matches being a close second. Near the middle of the book, the portion that was coincidentally staring back at me from the pages, it turned into a near unintelligible ranting on the philosophy of consciousness. Apparently, Kramer had only just begun to consider whether blowing the afflicted’s brains out was a morally reasonable decision. He had never come across as a particularly intelligent guy in his writings, and my assumption was that he was simply the only person who wrote fast enough to get a book published before the plague became a worldwide epidemic. Towards the end of the book, Kramer does a 180 and states repeatedly that “Accepting the transformation is the only road to salvation”.
“Salvation... as if”
My words perish in the empty air, a death rattle of frustrated skepticism.
I had never quite understood what that actually meant. Salvation would be something like deliverance from harm, harm being the only thing that the plague brought to the world. The book thuds as I carelessly toss it back on the table. It's obvious that the author was in the process of transforming as he wrote the final passages, but they never ceased to bother me. Perhaps I'm just fixating on those words as a way of keeping my mind occupied.
There’s really no reason to focus on such pointless things.
--------------------
The following night my sleep was peaceful and uninterrupted. She usually shows up once a week, if not less frequently. After waking, the bathroom mirror reveals that the pustules ha subsided slightly, leaving my skin smooth, if not free of the noticeable blemishes. A subtle glint of light shines off of my head and my heart rate accelerates.
Surely not.
Surely it was a trick of the light.
I begin rifling through my matted hair furiously and there it is. A single, silver hair hanging in front of my forehead.
I guess this is it then.
She made sure I had sworn on everything under the sun. Her stupid goofy smile reflected in my memory.
“First grey hair and I’m outta here mister”
To think that a silly little joke between us had turned into this solemn responsibility. The steel of the revolver was cold in my palm. My eyes locked onto it, unsure of when it had made its way from the drawer of the coffee table into my hand, or for that matter, when I had entered the living room. The earth seemed to be rotating at impossible speeds. Everything was black except for the gun in my hand and the book on the coffee table. That goddamn book. One of the pages had begun to tear away from the others, no doubt a result of my less than careful treatment of the thing, and a single word seemed to assault my fragile psyche.
Salvation.
I get it now
My heartbeat slows marginally as the unravelling of this book that I’ve read so many times presented a welcome distraction. There had been nothing left for Kramer, or anyone else for that matter, in a world that was dying around them. His salvation was freedom from the great plague. His call to “accept” the transformation, was not the same as giving in to it. After all, hadn’t he expressed over and over again exactly how to “find release” as he called it, from the infection.
Kramer, unlike me, had accepted that there was no life in transformation, no being, no humanity, and no way back. His moral dilemma had come to a close, likely with a bullet in his brain.
A reluctant chuckle rose through my chest and escaped my throat. It didn’t sound like me. It was twisted, choked, and raspy. She had always known hadn’t she, that I would stay in this house with her. That’s why she had forced me to swear up and down on something as silly and inevitable as a grey hair, before locking herself in that room five years ago. Knowing her, it had all been for my own good, a way for her to look out for me even after she was long gone.
The creak of the door was like nails on a chalkboard. I laid my eyes for the first time in years on my wife, or at least, what was left of her. I had seen the afflicted before, but seeing her in this state brought a blockage to my throat that nothing could have prepared me for. Her head had been obscured by the typical growth, characteristic of the great plague, A mass wider than her torso which was completely wrapped around her head, the loose flesh sagging down onto her shoulders. Large orange boils were dotted across this mass, as well as glistening, concave pits, where those boils had burst and left scars. The thick external vein structure wrapped around it was partially translucent, providing a window to the tar-like substance flowing slowly throughout. The worst thing, however, the thing that forced my tears out of my eyes and onto the corroded floor, was her body. Her clothes had long since disintegrated, leaving a sight that was fundamentally identical to what I remembered, with one exception. The excess weight of the mass upon her shoulder had atrophied her spine, which had crumpled, leaving her torso contorted in a grotesque fashion, the flesh and muscle folding in upon itself in places.
I had let this happen. I had as good as desecrated my wife’s corpse by leaving her in this state, by convincing myself that a cure would be found for a plague that had long-since been eradicated by other means. I did this.
My hands move as though without instruction from my brain, raising the revolver to my eye-level, pointing at the place where my wife’s head was concealed amid that horrid mass of flesh.
Her head tilted upwards slightly, as if she was looking at me with eyes that had been long-since obscured. That muffled, teary voice sounded out from amidst the heap weighing on her shoulders. Despite myself hesitated for just a moment, savoring the shadow of a voice that I would never hear again.
“Do you love me?”

Abuse, Discipline, or overreacting?
Im afraid of my dad, not just a bit frightened, no I am genuinely and 100% afraid of my father. I want to know if i am overreacting, if its regular Discipline or if its abuse.
My family is upper-middle class/Lower-upper-class, we own 35 acres of land on a farm. I am homeschooled, I spend 99% of my time at home because my dad forced me into online school, I have probably one friend, again, my dad’s fault. Some of my friends are less fortunate, they have addict parents, divorced parents, live in trailer parks, etc. my dad is quick to judge based off their family/living situation, he’ll let rude and straight up disrespectful comments slip and the people stop being my friends due to the things he says.
He has a weird work schedule, but he’s mostly home. He forces me to work outside in 100+ degree weather with almost maybe even no breaks at all for 12+ hours a day when he’s home.
He also has very bad temper issues, he cannot control his emotions at all and takes it out on me.
Example: my mom has music playing while he was trying to take a nap, when she turned it down for him he got mad it wasn’t turned off and he came out of his room and threw the speaker off the TV stand, breaking it.
Example: we were playing a board game and when he was losing he got mad, had an attitude, then threw everything off the table and made me clean it up
Example: I didn’t want to go shooting with him so instead of respecting that, he dragged me to the shooting range we have on our property while I was telling him no over and over again, he loaded a gun and unloaded the entire mag on the ground directly infront of me while using his hand over mine to shoot the gun, then when I still didn’t do it he pushed me away and said “alright get the fuck out of here go do your chores”
That’s only a few examples of times he got upset and didn’t control his temper.
Another thing he does is he purposely likes to antagonize me and gets mad when it works.
Example: he was pushing me over and over again while I was trying to eat dinner, after I told him multiple times to stop and he didn’t, I got up, threw my dinner away and started walking downstairs, he then made me sit back down at the table and proceeded to yell at me about having an attitude, then when I asked if I could leave he took all my electronics away and made me do chores the rest of the day the next day
Example: I have major issues with people chewing with their mouth open so he always chews with food falling out of his mouth, smacks his lips, and gets close to my ears while eating just to trigger my issues with it, on multiple occasions I’ll tell him to stop and he doesn’t stop he just gets closer and closer so I push him away, he will yell at me, take everything away, and send me to bed without dinner
^{^again} only a couple examples^{^}
Anytime I hear him coming down the stairs I immediately get scared, hide anything I’m doing, and then pretend to do something productive.
Another thing is he will hit me, push me, punch me, kick me, etc. but when I tell him to stop he doesn’t, if I cry he will “give me something to cry about” if I’m upset I have “no reason to be upset with a roof, food, and family” if I call him out on the hitting he will “show me what real abuse is”
This isn’t even all the stuff he does I felt like the post was getting too long so I’m stopping here

I got braces on 2 and a half years ago, was going fine for 6 months then I stopped going because I was an idiot. My mom who promised to help pay only did the first month so it was a lot more than I thought, I missed a month cause I couldn’t get off work, skipped the next cause I was broke and then it became a cycle and I haven’t been back since out of sheer embarrassment 🙃 I’ve been in such a depressive funk the last 2 years that I’m so ashamed about and doing my best to pull myself out of, but I completely have neglected everything important.
I owe the dentist $2k. It was $2.8k but I paid $800 already. I have an appointment tomorrow to finally get them looked at, but the anxiety I feel is through the roof. I literally have an anxiety stomachache and feel it all over. I just KNOW they’re going to judge me so hard. It’s a small dentist office with a bunch of young people working there. I already felt judged when I was going before this happened. It’s also a KIDS dentist, and I’m freakin 22 at this point 😭 I believe I just turned 20 when I got them on and could’ve done to a non-pediatric dentist but I didn’t want to find a new one until after.
So yeah I’ve totally screwed myself and am now feeling the embarrassment and shame that I’ve been dreading taking accountability for. They also let me know I can either get them off and get a retainer which is probably smart since I already owe so much, but at the same time me putting off going has cause my molars to be crooked and it’s obvious when I talk yawn etc so I want that to be fixed and feel I should leave them on a few more months. But also I’ll be 23 in a few months? I thought maybe they were gonna tell me I’m too old now and would need to get them off but she didn’t. I don’t know I’m just stressing. My mouth is a mess and they’re going to be judging the hell out of me I just know it :/

Lala STOOD up for Ariana when Scandoval broke. She had her back the way she wished someone had her back when Randall cheated on her (and their daughter, Ocean). Ariana was NO WHERE there for Lala or for Katie. Ariana felt sorry for Katie because she knew her man was the main cause of the demise of Katie’s marriage so she jumped on the sandwich shop bandwagon (for tv, imho). She never told Tom he was shit for purposefully causing rifts between Katie and Schwartz. Ever. She just pretended to understand Katie while fully understanding Sandoval was taking advantage of Schwartz’s submissive personality. She stood by Tom. As time passed by and Ariana was acting like Beyoncé while living under the same roof because it was HER dream house and HE ISN’T GONNA HAVE IT …I think Lala looked back at how she moved out of her dream house (a lot of women with a kid would’ve stayed and made the man move…ie Lisa Hochstein) and put up her deuces and didn’t look back. Like a boss. Meanwhile Ariana is living in filth while doing trash bag commercials with every woman in America behind her while Lala is being hated on because she has a big mouth and says what she thinks. ♥️ Ariana wants her ex off the show and that’s why she doesn’t want anyone to speak to him. She knows that’s how to hurt Tom and she’s trying to control that narrative. When Sandoval said he’s the one that shows up… that was truth, I think. Anyways now I’m rambling…