Side affects after stopping entecort

Idk about you guys but I've always loved how a shower felt after a bunch of work. Something special about it. Anyway thanks for reading! :)
They were both offered showers by town citizens happy to open their homes. Gareth found showers immensely awkward but didn’t need to worry as a few townsfolk drew him a bath. With some extra help from Deag, who had taken a short trip to the ship, he treated the water and was finally able to eat something. It was no traditional Weilan spa, but it was… close enough. If he was being entirely honest, he was just glad to finally be able to eat something. He may have fibbed to Pen when they talked about food. He wasn’t near starving quite yet and even though being carried had allowed him to conserve a lot of energy, it wouldn’t have helped much longer.
He looked down at his poor shell. Its color greatly diminished from the lack of food and immense stress of the whole ordeal. He could feel the buildup of toxins in his system before and it was wonderful to feel them washing out. He sighed and slumped down under the water. Again, he inspected his shell. Wilting and greying all over his eyes wandered to the crack made by Pen when she pulled him out of the way of the turret. Probably another two months to heal but it was coming along. She must have remembered it too when they were falling. She was gentler. It honestly surprised him that he managed to survive that fall without any major injury.
Gareth let his thoughts drift aimlessly as he soaked under the water. After a few minutes, though, he heard a thump from outside the tub. He rose up from the water and peeked over the lip of the tub. A small human child stared back from the washroom door. Small by human standards that is. He was shorter than Gareth but only by a few inches. If Ton’et’s human biology lessons were serving him well the boy wouldn’t remain much smaller than him for more than a year or so. He should be quickly entering a time of quick growth that humans experience periodically in their formative years.
“Mmmhmmmb” the boy mumbled, still hiding most of himself behind the door.
“What was that?” Gareth asked.
The boy shirked slightly but found his voice after a moment.
“You… You’re weird looking.”
Gareth chuckled.
“You’re the weird looking one.”
The boy's brow furrowed, easier to read than Pen by far. The child wore his emotions on his face.
“Nuh uh…”
“Yuh huh.” Gareth mimicked the child.
“No, you don’t look like anyone else here.”
“Well, I’m not from here, am I? I’m from a place where everyone looks like me and nobody looks like you.”
This seemed to puzzle the boy.
“How many people?”
Gareth tilted his head. An odd question.
“Lots? Trillions.”
“Is that more than here?”
It dawned on him the math the boy was doing.
“Definitely.”
“Darn…”
The boy lightly tapped the doorframe with his foot.
“You could go see them.” Gareth offered.
“Really?” A shine came to his eyes.
“Oh definitely, there's a ton to see. More places out there than trees in that forest outside.”
The boy didn’t understand trillions but that comparison made sense to him.
“Waoooaahhh,” a frown came to his face quickly, “but I like it here though. I have friends here.”
“So when you miss them, just come on back. No reason you cant enjoy both right?”
Gareth's words were a joyous revelation to the boy.
“I’d love that I think…”
“I think you would to.” Gareth chuckled.
“You may be weird but you're pretty cool. My names Cameron by the way.”
“Pleasure to meet you Cameron, I’m Gareth. I think you’re weird and cool too.”
Cameron giggled and sprinted away, stopped, turned around, closed the door gently, then turned back around and sprinted away again. Gareth sunk back down into the tub smiling.
Pen stepped under the shower head with her face turned up. Steaming hot water hit her face and ran down taking all the stress and sweat with it.
A proper shower was exactly what Pen needed. She was no stranger to dirt and sweat and when needs must, she had no issue. That said, filthy was by no means a preferred state and after two days hard march, sleeping in the dirt, and only washing off in a river, a proper shower felt divine. It almost reminded her of washing off after a particularly arduous drop. There was something especially satisfying about it.
Soap, warm water, and more time to enjoy it than she’d ever have been given on the Basho. After getting clean she turned the heat up as high as it could go and propped herself against the wall of the shower letting the water run over her shoulders and back. The heat melted through the tension and washed it down the drain.
Ahhhhhh. Perfect.
Something tickled her neck and she brought her right hand up to it. She pulled a long strand of hair away. It struck her as odd and brought her attention to her hair. It had gotten longer. The strand in her hand was almost alien due to how long it had been since she’d allowed it to grow out beyond a few inches.
She brought both her hands up now, raking them through the newfound length. She’d start having to wear it up if she didn’t want to cut it.
She kind of didn’t. Why should she?
After a nice long while in the hot shower she turned the water off and stepped out. The bathroom was heavy with steam, but she saw that towels and clothes had been set by the sink for her. She dried herself and examined the clothing. It was a simple handwoven dress, loose cut and floor length. The dress was dyed olive green and parchment white with a humble little leaf-like pattern embroidered around the wrists and neckline.
It certainly wasn’t her normal fare, but it was clearly a kind gesture and matched the clothing most wore around town. With how little worn and well taken care of it looked Pen could guess that it meant a lot to the person who donated it.
Pen donned it and looked to the mirror only to find it utterly fogged up.
A light knock came from the other side of the door.
“Are you alright miss?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Yea…” Pen faltered.
“Oh does the dress not fit? Or would you prefer something else?”
“No, no, it fits fine,” it did reach the floor though perhaps not as much as it was intended to, “How about you tell me how I look.”
Pen opened the door. Steam rolled out as she moved into the room with the young woman. She was a stranger to Pen but looked like the older lady whose house this was. Pen guessed a daughter.
“Oh my, I think you look quite nice! Olive is definitely one of your colors. Here!” The girl fumbled somewhat but showed Pen to a tall mirror in the far corner of the room.
It was… certainly a look. Not one she was used to but that was expected. The dress fit fine and it did look nice. Pen couldn’t help but notice, though, that it sat oddly on her. Not tight or revealing by any means, just… a gentler looking piece of clothing on a less than gently built frame. It wasn’t exactly made to be worn by a muscled body.
“Oh erm here miss,” the young woman handed her a hair tie but pulled back, “or if you want I could help you put it up? Its at that weird point where its not long enough to… you know but too long to uh it can be difficult. If you want I can…”
“I… appreciate it but I’ll be fine. I think I'll leave it down for now.”
“Right. Well, here. Just in case you want to.”
She again handed the hair tie but this time let Pen take it. Pen stowed it around her wrist.
“Is Gareth?”
“Oh yes your friend is across the street at the Patterson's. I can bring you over if you like.”
“Lead the way.”
“Of course.”
The girl led her out of the house and across the street. Pen saw a couple putting up woven cloth streamers across the road. They anchored them in trees with some parallel and others crossing.
As the girl stepped up the front porch of the, apparently, Patterson's house she waved to an older gentleman in a rocking chair.
“Evening Mr. Patterson. This is Penelope, she was just calling on her friend.”
“Evening dear. Evening miss. Yer friend hasn’t come out yet but you can head on up. To the left at the top, far end door.”
“Thanks.”
His hand came up to keep her just a moment.
“Thank you miss.” He said accentuating the ‘you’.
He looked at her like they all did. She knew what he meant and as awkwardly as it always was she smiled and nodded before she pushed past him. At least he had the good sense not to salute.
As she climbed the stairs just inside the door to the house she heard the man ask a question of the girl.
“Dear, could you ask your mother about a few fertilizer spikes? The peach is looking like it needs some help.”
Pen continued too far to make out her reply but could guess by its warm tone that it was a yes. She turned at the top of the stairs and walked to the end of the hall. Knocking on the door she called out to Gareth.
“You still soaking?”
“Just suiting up. I’ll be out in a min.”
A ‘min’ huh? Pen thought.
Previous
First

Justice.gov defines Gang as: 3 or more that identity as a group that create an atmosphere of fear or intimidation.
“Pack the House” with hundreds of people that don’t live in the neighborhood with Blue Shirts, signifying a gang mentality that they are in charge.
Taking up all the seating so the actual residents that live there can not get in the meeting to oppose.
Pack the halls and grounds so opposition residents that actually live their can't get in to be heard and made to feel intimidated.
I was forced to locate our residents and bring them through the crowd shoulder to shoulder to get them in.
Several of our neighbors could not get in because the LDS members packed the house to block us out.
LDS Stake leader Bud Stoddard, said there were no one from out of state. Coincidentally, there were numerous license plates from AZ and UT in the parking garage after hours which also blocked residents from parking.
This placed an undue burden on our senior and handicapped residents.
They brought 100’s of kids to take up seats from the actural residents. The majority of them appeared to be under 18 years of age and per the speaking laws you have to be 18 to speak.
Durning the open form a large group of teens were sent over to stand in front of us and block us which felt like intimidating tactics, laughing and smiling at us.
The City Marshall saw what was happening and came over to them and told them to move and they could not stand in front of us. They ignored him violating the law. Then finally moved over about 15 feet still blocking us. The Marshall repeatedly told them they would have to move over to the other side where the line is. These teens still refused to move ignoring the lawful orders of the Marshall. Only after a second Marshall arrived to help and move them, did an adult member in a Blue Shirt come over and tell the teens to move which instantly complied.
The members used and displayed intimidating behavior and actions against the opposing residents and refused to follow lawful orders directed by City Marshalls.
They only moved when directed by an adult LDS Member.
LDS members were bypassing marshals, cutting in the line outside of the chambers, and were finally stopped when our members voiced opposition.

I think my only option is to completely resign as a stepparent. I desperately need advice about sustaining a marriage with polar opposite parenting styles, & how to deal with teenage boys with no manners or basic hygiene.
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs on the counter, soda cans wherever. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please” “thank you,” & we ate out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions causes us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.

I can't explain the dread I feel right now. I love him so much, I've drifted apart from basically all of my friends and he's the only person left right now that I actually enjoy hanging out with and put effort into seeing. He texts me daily, is so understanding of me and my anxiety issues - he's sat with me for hours upon end, rubbing my back, telling me everything is going to be okay. Granted, a lot of these anxiety causes were over stuff he did, but still. He showers me with compliments, and we get up to so much fun together. I can't recall the last time I had so much fun with someone just lying in their bed, going out for a walk, etc. I love him so much.
But, a more logical side of me is telling me we have to break up. I am extremely torn and it's causing me so much anxiety. There have been several incidents that have deeply hurt me and made me question our compatibility.
About a month or two after he and I became official, he sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, intending for me to recreate it. He claims he “didn’t know” that it was her, frankly I was and continue to be insulted by the fact he thinks I’d believe he saw that picture and didn’t immediately know it was of his female friend and not some random girl he didn’t know, especially since he had cut her face out of the picture. Another thing related to this same girl - followed by an indulgence of my anxiety, I checked her instagram profile and I can see that he's liked a select number of pictures of hers whilst we were dating, all pretty provocative, which also makes me very insecure. What makes this different is that he’s told me they’re no longer friends, not by his choice but by her refusal since she ghosted him after they slept together, which makes it seem like he would be with her if he was given the choice. If I was her, I’d take a like to a picture like that to mean that he was still interested, especially since he told me she ignored his messages after they slept together, it changed the context a bit.
He also throughout our relationship for the first maybe 5 months demonstrated a very intimate knowledge about most of his female friends; I’ve heard him go into details about his female friends’ preferred masturbation techniques and relay that to me as advice, their favorite positions in bed, when I said I enjoyed it when he did something in bed, he could casually mention how “his friend told him she loved it as well”. For clarification, they never slept together, they had just deeply discussed things like this.
By happening to catch some notifications while we were on hisphone, I also was informed of his friend who sent him semi-regular updates about her sex life, describing certain sexual acts they did, how good the guy was, commenting on dicksize, etc. I made it clear I was not OK with this and he agreed that he found it too much. He claims he asked her to stop. But then, it happened again, and he blamed it on her forgetting. What hurt me here was also his lack of reaction when we both saw the text notification, he just noted on it and then continued watching the TikTok we were watching. He didn't seem to care about how it affected me or the breach of our set boundaries. That makes me suspect he either didn’t care or wasn’t surprised because, well, maybe he never set those boundaries in the first place.
When we spoke about it later, he did validate my feelings, but what also took place was him protecting her behavior. It made me feel so undervalued, and unheard. She has had sexual trauma, therefore she must message her friend who is in a relationship about who she had sex with, why, when and how. It was just such a shitty excuse, and I don’t know what’d make me feel worse; him genuinely believing that or him being so willing to lie to me. Regardless, we’ve now come to the decision to cut her off. So that problem should be “dealt with”, but my feelings of betrayal and distrust still linger.
I could never imagine doing these things in a relationship; it would make me feel like I was cheating. This is why I believe we're incompatible. While he may find this behavior acceptable, I don't. can't handle the anxiety and insecurity it causes me. I think I simply have a more conservative view of relationships, intimacy, and sex, and I believe it's essential that my partner shares this perspective.
Another major issue between us is our sex life. While I've enjoyed some aspects, I often feel my sexual needs aren't reciprocated. Despite discussing this before, improvements have been minimal. For instance, when I asked to use a condom for the first time, he put it on but then continued basically dry-humping me until he came. After that, I asked if he wanted to do something else - me still being horny - and he said he was too tired to continue. Next day, when I clarified “something else” meant intercourse, he was upset he missed out, indicating he did have energy but chose not to please me.
Another time, after we started kissing and moved to the couch, he requested I give him a blowjob, which I did, but then after he came he just left me on the couch, feeling used and alone. I feel this happens a lot, he is very focused on his own pleasure but not mine. What makes it worse, when I gathered courage to ask for reciprocation with a vibrator, which is hard for me being that forward, he responded unenthusiastically and then ignored it to first eat then play video games, then claiming he forgot. He later asked me “oh, did you want me to still do that?” maybe two hours later, but I was hurt and felt the way he asked seemed like it was more of an obligation to him than wanting to pleasure his girlfriend.
I've tried to communicate my needs and understand his, even considering factors like potential porn addiction (might be) or lack of attraction. Regardless, our sexual incompatibility persists. I need a partner as interested in my pleasure as I am in theirs.
All these reasons are, like I said, very logical reasons for a breakup, but my dread about it persists. I feel like I would rather take the insecurity and anxiety than feel this way. I’d miss him so much. It doesn’t help that I basically thought I was aromantic and asexual before I met him, I haven’t really been attracted to guys the way I am to him, on an emotional and physical level. I feel like I would never find someone who compares. I am an anxious wreck. Would apprechiate any advice on what you would do in my situation, how I could come to terms with breaking up. ANY insights, and I mean ANY, I would love, I am in dire need.
As a side-note, I was thinking of basically re-formatting this text a bit and sending it to him together with my break-up text, to explain it. He would require to know why, and I'd feel it'd be cathartic. Thoughts on that?
TL;DR: I'm torn about breaking up with my boyfriend, whom I love deeply and share a strong bond with. Despite his support and our fun times together, several incidents have hurt me and made me question our compatibility. He sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, asking me to recreate it, and (IMO) lied about not recognizing it was her. He liked provocative pictures of her on Instagram, making me insecure. He shared intimate details about his female friends' sex lives, which made me uncomfortable. A friend of his sent explicit updates about her sex life, and despite agreeing to set boundaries, it happened again, with him showing little concern for my feelings. These actions have caused anxiety and insecurity, making me feel undervalued and unheard. Our sex life is also problematic; my needs often go unmet, and efforts to communicate haven't led to significant improvements. Despite these issues, the thought of breaking up fills me with dread, as I can't imagine finding someone who makes me feel the way he does. I need advice on how to come to terms with ending the relationship and moving on.

I need advice on helping my 5yo female Dane rescue to get along with my 7yo spayed female Weimaraner. I rescued her several months ago and still keep them fully separated. They can see each other through a small piece of fence in the hopes they will habituate to each other.
The Dane grew up around a gaggle of sausage dogs that the old owners bred. I was told she got along fine with other dogs. Even at 7yo, my Weim has not outgrown her psycho "omg be my friend!" phase so she bounded up to Dane, which caused her to growl. They got off on the wrong paw, so I used treats to bring them closer to each other. Turns out, Dane is possessive of food and snarled and lunged at Weim. I put them on leashes and walked them side-by-side instead. No signs of aggression. I decided to separate them anyway.
After a week, I slowly reintroduced them by putting them on leads and inching them closer together with the help of a friend. Dane snarled at Weim. We started walking them together. They were still separated 24/7 when not on walks. It went fine, until one day Dane designed to bite Weim on the ear during a walk, unprovoked, with zero warning signs. That's when the joined walks stopped.
I bought a Baskerville muzzle for introductions, but Dane would be too preoccupied with trying to remove it to make any meaningful progress.
It should be noted that Weim has never once bitten back or defended herself. She runs away or rolls over in a show of submission. Dane is very well-mannered otherwise. She follows commands, knows the basics, and has managed to learn new things quickly. She gets along with my cats. Sometimes, she chases them but in a playful, not aggressive manner.
I assume Dane is jealous of Weim. What can I do? Would a trainer help? Is there anything they can do?
I was told Dane is spayed but will take her to the vet to confirm.
**breed used instead of names for clarity :)

I don’t know how many follow or have read the books in this sub, but this is one of the most interesting things I’ve found after reading Rhaenyra being called “Maegor with tits” by the Green opposition.
This is all from the Internet. A click away from any phone.

Socrates was a Greek philosopher from Athens who is credited as the founder of Western philosophy and among the first moral philosophers of the ethical tradition of thought.
An enigmatic figure, Socrates authored no texts and is known mainly through the posthumous accounts of classical writers, particularly his students Plato and Xenophon. These accounts are written as dialogues, in which Socrates and his interlocutors examine a subject in the style of question and answer; they gave rise to the Socratic dialogue literary genre.
Contradictory accounts of Socrates make a reconstruction of his philosophy nearly impossible, a situation known as the Socratic problem. Socrates was a polarizing figure in Athenian society. In 399 BC, he was accused of impiety and corrupting the youth. After a trial that lasted a day, he was sentenced to death. He spent his last day in prison, refusing offers to help him escape.
There were four charges that were brought against Socrates. They were that he argued the weaker claim over the stronger claim, that he argue the physical over the metaphysical, that he was against the gods and that he was corrupting the youth.
Socrates was found guilty by a jury of 501 Athenians and was sentenced to drink a deadly poison, named hemlock. Many scholars have argued that the charges against Socrates were politically motivated and have understood his trial and conviction as an attack upon freedom of speech and an indictment of democracy.

The Last Moments of Maegor’s Reign, losing against a misogynistic society led by petty and ambitious nobles and against the Faith of the Seven, a religion that enforces gender roles and inequality between men and women.

By 48 AC Maegor's tyranny could no longer be borne by the realm. At Storm's End Aenys I's last surviving son, Prince Jaehaerys, put forth his claim to the throne, supported by Lord Rogar Baratheon, who was named Protector of the Realm and Hand of the King by the prince. Jaehaerys had two dragons on his side, his own mount Vermithor and his sister's mount Silverwing, against Maegor's Balerion. Grand Maester Benifer secretly escaped on a ship to Pentos. Ser Olyver Bracken and Ser Raymund Mallery, two of Maegor's Kingsguard, also deserted him. Lord Daemon Velaryon, the admiral of the royal fleet, and brother of Alyssa Velaryon was the first of the great lords to forsake Maegor, taking the royal fleet with him, and many other lords followed his example. The great houses of Lannister, Tyrell, and Arryn came out against Maegor and in the riverlands House Tully gave support to Septon Moon and Ser Joffrey Doggett, the leaders of the Poor Fellows.
Maegor called his banners in response, but few answered, giving Maegor an army of barely four thousand soldiers. Despite this, Maegor refused to surrender. At the end of the war council, Maegor remained behind alone in the throne room to brood. He was found dead the next morning by Queen Elinor, seated on the Iron Throne with his robes covered in blood and his wrists slashed. A spike from one of the swords on the throne behind him was impaled through the back of his neck. How Maegor died was never discovered. Some say he had been killed by Queen Elinor, others that he had been killed by a knight of his own Kingsguard. Yet others say he had been killed by a builder who escaped the slaughter three years earlier and desired revenge, and many believe that Maegor had been killed by the throne itself. Others believe that Maegor killed himself by opening his wrists on the blades of the Iron Throne.

The fate of Maegor’s loyal supporters.

Owen Bush was a knight of the Kingsguard during the reign of King Maegor I Targaryen. When Maegor suspected Queen Tyanna of the Tower of betrayal, he had Owen and his sworn brother, Ser Maladon Moore, bring her to the dungeons, where she confessed.
Maegor the Cruel gradually lost political support, resulting in a rival threat in his nephew, Prince Jaehaerys Targaryen. Two of his Kingsguard defected to Jaehaerys, and Maegor lost a third guard when Owen was found dead outside a brothel in 48 AC, his member cut off and stuffed in his mouth.
Maladon Moore was a knight from House Moore and a member of the Kingsguard during the reign of King Maegor I Targaryen. When the king suspected Queen Tyanna of the Tower of treason, Maladon and Owen were dispatched to seize the queen and deliver her to the dungeons, where Maegor was said to have slain her while Maladon was present.
After Maegor died in 48 AC and his nephew King Jaehaerys I Targaryen took the Iron Throne, Maladon was accused of being involved in the death of Queen Ceryse, allegedly restraining her when Ser Owen accidentally killed her. Maladon denied these charges, insisting she died of "shrewishness". While the charges were never proven, Maladon lost his head for his involvement in Queen Tyanna's death, of which he was guilty.
When Queen Tyanna of the Tower admitted to poisoning Queen Alys Harroway during her pregnancy, Tyanna promised the same would happen to Elinor. Tyanna was proven correct when Elinor gave birth to a stillborn abomination said to have been born eyeless and with small wings. Elinor was one of the two wives who survived the king, the other being Queen Rhaena Targaryen.
After King Maegor's death, Lord Daemon Velaryon proposed that King Jaehaerys I Targaryen marry Queen Elinor to reconcile with Maegor's supporters when a bride was being considered for the king, but nothing came of the proposal. After Jaehaerys's ascent, Elinor departed King's Landing dressed in the robes of a penitent. She visited her two elder sons at the Eyrie and Highgarden before retiring to her father's seat at the Three Towers with her youngest son.
Later, King Jaehaerys commanded Elinor to go forth and spread his Doctrine of Exceptionalism to the peoples of the Seven Kingdoms, as well as the goodness of Jaehaerys and Alysanne, becoming one of the Seven Speakers. Her queenly raiment became shabbier and more threadbare each day, and she eventually gave up all claims to nobility, becoming Mother Elinor at the great motherhouse in Lannisport.
House Rosby was one of the first houses to yield peacefully to House Targaryen during Aegon's Conquest, surrendering to Rhaenys Targaryen and Meraxes. The Rosby lands became part of the crownlands surrounding King's Landing. Lord Jon Rosby was named Warden of the Sands by King Aegon I Targaryen during the First Dornish War, but Jon was killed in the Defenestration of Sunspear.
Ser Rayford Rosby defended King Maegor I Targaryen during his trial of seven, but Rayford was slain during the fighting. Lord Rosby remained loyal to the king even as his downfall became certain, and was one of the last to see the king alive. In the chaos that followed the discovery of Maegor's body, Lord Rosby drank a cup of hemlock to join his king in death. His young son received forgiveness from King Jaehaerys I Targaryen at Dragonstone.
In 47 AC, King Maegor was dealing with the issue of his lack of heirs, despite having already married three women. Lord Daemon Velaryon, Rhaena's uncle and a member of Maegor's small council, advised Maegor to wed Rhaena, to unite their claims and prevent new rebellions, and to gain her as a hostage against any potential schemes of Dowager Queen Alyssa. Later that year, Maegor summoned Rhaena to King's Landing, and she did not defy him. At the Red Keep, Maegor married Rhaena in a triple ceremony, together with Elinor Costayne and Jeyne Westerling. As the three women were all widows of men Maegor had killed, they became known as the "Black Brides". Immediately following the wedding, Maegor declared Rhaena's elder daughter Aerea as his heir until he had sons of his own, while disinheriting Rhaena's youngest brother Jaehaerys in the same decree.
After Maegor’s death, discussion arose as to who had the better claim to the Iron Throne. There were some who suggested that Rhaena's claim, as the firstborn child of King Aenys I Targaryen and Queen Alyssa Velaryon, was the strongest. Her gender argued against her, however, and Rhaena herself had come to loathe King's Landing and its court. The claims of her daughters were argued for as well. If Maegor was to be considered a usurper, the true king would have been Rhaena's first husband, Aegon, who had claimed the throne before Jaehaerys had. As such, some suggested the throne should pass to one of his daughters by Rhaena, Aerea or Rhaella.
As time passed, Rhaena began to resent the fact that her claim to the throne, and that of her daughters, had been dismissed in favor of Jaehaerys, to whom she began to refer as "my baby brother". In addition, Rhaena begrudged her mother for promoting Jaehaerys's claim over her own.
Ser Walton Towers was granted Harrenhal by King Maegor I Targaryen in 44 AC after winning a melee in Lord Harroway's Town, but Walton died soon after from his wounds. Harrenhal thus passed to his eldest son. Lord Jordan remained loyal to Maegor during the king's wars, and Lord Rosby were the last to see the king alive before Maegor's death on the Iron Throne. Along with Lords Darklyn and Staunton, Jordan yielded the Red Keep to Prince Jaehaerys, Princess Rhaena, and Princess Alysanne Targaryen. The three lords were sent to the black cells, but were eventually pardoned by King Jaehaerys I after surrendering some of their land.
Jordan eventually died of a chest congestion. Harrenhal passed to Jordan's last surviving son, Maegor Towers, as Jordan's older sons had all died fighting for King Maegor.
Maegor's father, Lord Jordan Towers, was one of the last lords of the Seven Kingdoms who remained loyal to King Maegor I Targaryen. All of Jordan's sons died fighting in the king's wars, with the exception of young Maegor.
Maegor became Lord Towers after the death of his father due to a chest congestion. When King Jaehaerys I Targaryen began a royal progress in 53 AC to celebrate the new year, his first stop was to see the new Lord of Harrenhal, then only nine years of age.
Maegor was an impoverished lord who resided in the Tower of Dread with only a cook and three men-at-arms. Since the rest of Harrenhal was empty, King Jaehaerys settled his widowed sister, Rhaena Targaryen, in the Widow's Tower in 56 AC. Maegor and Rhaena eventually became friends, and she cared for his servants after Maegor passed away in 61 AC. Harrenhal was granted to House Strong after Rhaena passed away in 73 AC.
Maegor was sickly and poor.
Socrates speaks his last words to Crito: "Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Please, don't forget to pay the debt". Asclepius was the Greek god for curing illness, and it is likely that Socrates' last words were implied to mean that death is the cure, and freedom of the soul from the body.
Asclepius, Greco-Roman god of medicine, son of Apollo (god of healing, truth, and prophecy) and the mortal princess Coronis. The Centaur Chiron taught him the art of healing. At length Zeus (the king of the gods), afraid that Asclepius might render all men immortal, slew him with a thunderbolt.
Zeus saw Asclepius & his medical skills as a threat to the eternal division between humanity & the gods. Asclepius met a tragic end when he was killed by a thunderbolt thrown by Zeus.
Socrates ultimately does not fear death because of his innocence, he believes that death is not to be feared because it may be one of the greatest blessings of the soul.
The reasons for Socrates not escaping when he had the chance the night prior; are made explicit before the Laws make their speech. Because escape defies the will of the Athenians, it requires stealth and bribery, shameful practices that are unjustified in the current situation.
Socrates Feared Democracies Would Elect Demagogues. The term arose in Greece in the fifth century BCE, right around Socrates's time, and is often used negatively. Socrates himself was extremely worried that the democratic format would give rise to a demagoguery.
Demagogues are political leaders who seek support by appealing to the desires and prejudices of ordinary people rather than by using rational argument.
Modern demagogues include Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Huey Long, Father Coughlin, and Joseph McCarthy, all of whom built mass followings the same way that Cleon did: by exciting the passions of the masses against customs and norms of the aristocratic elites of their times.

This is why Maegor and Socrates died. They challenged authority and lost. They were silenced by the powerful lords and by the elected council of Athens whom were given power by the common people.
They were “heroes”.
“My own heroes are the dreamers, those men and women who tried to make the world a better place than when they found it, whether in small ways or great ones. Some succeeded, some failed, most had mixed results... but it is the effort that's heroic, as I see it. Win or lose, I admire those who fight the good fight.
George R.R. Martin.
King Maegor had married all his brides and gave them Queenly status.

Jeyne was married to Lord Alyn Tarbeck. She was widowed when Alyn died during the Battle Beneath the Gods Eye in 43 AC. Jeyne was pregnant when her husband died, and gave him a posthumous son a few months later.

In 47 AC, Jeyne was being courted by a younger son of Lyman Lannister, the Lord of Casterly Rock, when King Maegor I Targaryen sent for her to be wed to him. She married Maegor in a ceremony at King's Landing, along with Lady Elinor Costayne and Princess Rhaena Targaryen. As all three women had been widowed due to Maegor, they became known as the "Black Brides". The stories told of the wedding night claim that Jeyne was given a fertility potion by Queen Tyanna of the Tower, and either drank it, or threw it in Tyanna's face. After the wedding, Queen Jeyne's son was confirmed as Lord of Tarbeck Hall, and sent to Casterly Rock to be raised as a ward of Lyman Lannister.

Lord Edwell Celtigar, the Hand of the King, announced half a year after the wedding that Queen Jeyne was pregnant, and Queen Elinor's pregnancy was announced shortly afterwards. Maegor, joyful, showered both his wives with gifts and honors, and granted new lands and offices to their fathers, brothers, and uncles. Unfortunately, Jeyne's labor began three months early, and she gave birth to a stillborn child, monstrous, lacking arms and legs but possessing both male and female genitalia. Jeyne herself died soon after.

In 48 AC, Tyanna of the Tower confessed to having poisoned Jeyne's child in the womb.
This is all on the awoiaf wiki.
George is a better writer than we’ve given him credit for.
Please feel free to discuss and ask questions.

Hello women of Reddit,
I'm going through a very rough time emotionally and spiritually and have always found peace when I express my thoughts by writing them out so I figured I would find a Subreddit to express myself and see what strangers who are impartial to my situation will say. There's always two sides to a story, so I'll be mindful to not sit here like a narcissist trying to paint a holy picture of myself and an unholy one of her. I pledge to be completely honest, even if I am burned at the stake in the comments for any wrongdoings of mine. Please note there's a limit to how many characters I can type in here, so 20 years of history for important context will need to be summarized as much as possible. I'll do my best to keep it relevant and share the parts that matter.
In my first year of high school at age 13, a friend of mine was dating a girl from a different high school that he would bring around to hang out with us. She seemed like a nice girl as far as I could tell, but I couldn't help but notice how literally everyone who had something to say about her would always highlight and emphasize that she was a slut and they would tell stories about stuff she has done when she was drunk. I didn't think much of it at the time because why would I? It had nothing to do with me. Soon after, I moved to a different high school and cut ties with that friend.
A few years went by, and one day out of nowhere to my surprise, she called my house to say hi, and to see if I wanted to hang out. I decided to hang out with her because I learned from her that she was no longer dating the guy I met her through, and we were somewhat acquainted already so it felt ok. We started to hang out a lot and I started feeling those fuzzy feelings in my stomach where I knew I was beginning to develop feelings for her, and so much that I was finding myself "borrowing" my dads' car when I didn't yet have my license just to be able to go see her. People around me who knew her started to notice that her and I were getting close, and I started getting warnings from literally dozens of people to not bother with her because she's a slut, and she's just going to hurt me in the end. Despite all these warnings, the feelings I had inside of me for her at that time were too strong to ignore, so I ended up ignoring the warnings people were giving me and wanted to judge her from my experience with her rather than other people's words.
During the time I was hanging out with her, I soon learned that she was apparently seeing or casually dating someone new, which of course bothered me because I liked her and I could feel from her that she liked me too. I started noticing that certain times in evenings she would not answer her phone at all and because I was increasingly growing so in love with her, I literally would begin to sit outside her place down the street in a car just to see what the hell she was doing certain evenings that she wouldn't answer my calls. Of course, it soon became obvious to me that she was going to see this guy she was "seeing" because she would always jump in a taxi very late night and get dropped off at the same house. I'm ashamed when I look back and realize that I was somewhat stalking her and being creepy, but the intentions weren't bad but rather just a little too curious, and it was also killing me inside to see her casually seeing this older guy who I felt was probably just exploiting her for sex. I say that because it was weird to me that she never hung out with him during the day as friends like her and I did but only went to see him late at night, so my mind started messing with me a lot and all the rumours about her started coming in as intrusive thoughts. I'm already a person who has a very deep depth of conscious thoughts so I can sometimes get very deep into my imagination and that's not really a good thing when the mind goes into dark and negative places.
One day during an afternoon I dropped by her house unannounced and I knocked on her house door but no one answered even though I was sure she was home. I went to the side of the house and climbed up on a utility box below her bedroom window that she would always sneak out of, so I can look through the window and maybe get her attention, and I instantly couldn't believe my eyes. There she was butt naked having sex with her ex-boyfriend, the guy I was friends with in early high school. I felt sick to my stomach that I walked right into that so I quickly left to my car and immediately drove off. It was so disturbing to see this and also to realize she was fucking an older guy and also liked me, all three at the same time. I never brought that up to her during that time because it was just too foul to mention. One night, she called me and asked me if I can pick her up from a friend's house because she had too much to drink and couldn't get home safe, so I said okay. When we got to her house, she asked me to help her inside, and so I did and next thing you know when we are sitting on the couch her hands are in my pants, she pulled me into her bedroom, and we had sex for the first time. This was when I lost my virginity.
After this point her and I began to start sleeping with each other regularly and of course it made me love her more and more. I couldn't deal with the circumstance the way it was and so I got very serious with her and let her know I was not cool with what she's doing and that she would need to stop this madness. We got into a lot of arguments and fights about what she was doing and we fought and fought, until one day she suddenly out of nowhere came to me and said she "broke up" with the older guy. She told me she wanted to be official and be a real exclusive couple together with me. I felt this sigh of relief go through me, but also somehow it didn't feel as good as it could've or should've had I not known all these past issues about her.
Here we are suddenly an official couple, and I started realizing that I had this deep insecurity anytime she would say she wanted to go hang out with her girlfriends and "guy friends" to party. I wasn't into drinking and partying at that age and so I would always tell her no, especially if other guys are around, but she didn't care what I had to say and would do what she wanted anyway. When I would try to stop her, she would fight me and tell people that I was being controlling. I felt like I had no power and didn't know what to do because I always thought she will get drunk and do somethign with other guys and that scared the shit out of me.
Soon after I randomly met a girl at a friends house who took interest in me. One day just like that I decided to hang out with her and I ended up cheating on my GF with her. I regret that I did that but looking back on it, I feel like I did it because I was so insecure and upset deep inside at everything I was going through with my GF and her going out partying and drinking with other guys around that I just didn't care anymore and went with it. She eventually found out that I cheated, and demanded I end contact with that girl and I did. I saw that it actually hurt her and I apologized for it and luckily for me she forgave me despite showing serious displeasure. I explained to her that I messed up and I did it because I thought she was likely cheating on me anyways and I had a hard time getting over her past. We both agreed to move on from that. That was when I was 19 and it was the only time I ever cheated on her. I learned from that one mistake I made.
A few more years went by, and still she was giving me a very hard time when it came to going out drinking with her friends. I was working very long 16-hour days at that time, and it never sat well with me for her to go out and get drunk when I'm not present. We continued to fight and argue over this, and she simply never understood me on why I didn't want her to do this. I would do this because I knew that when she drinks, she's not herself at all. She becomes very flirty and inappropriate, and I didn't want that to happen if I'm not around to look after her and stop her from doing dumb shit. Either way, she would do it and ignore what I say. I got fed up with this and ended up breaking up with her. During this time of being broken up, I started trying to see other girls and despite meeting other women in platonic terms, my heart kept wanting her back. So after six months of being broken up, I went back to her and tried to talk to her to see if she wanted to get back together and try to have a fresh start. She immediately showed interest, but she said she had to let me know during the time broken up that she started seeing and having sex with someone else. Despite not offically being a couple at that time, it shattered me. Why? Because I couldn't believe that after everything we went through, she would just go and fuck another dude who was clearly exploiting her for sex. I know that because she dropped him in the snap of a finger to come back to me, so obviously there was nothing of substance there other than her avoiding being alone. I cried about it and ultimately accepted being together again.
Many years went by again and new problems came up, now she is comparing me and us to her friends and their boyfriends. Giving me a hard time that I don't buy her designer bags and spend money on expensive items for her. I would argue with her over this a lot because to me, it was just stupid to be buying junk like this when you don't have too much money to spare, especially at our age, but she didn't care. Every day was arguing and fighting and her putting me down simply for not buying her designer bags. This is when I began to notice that I was starting to get verbally abusive towards her with name calling, belittling and shaming for stuff she's done wrong. There were also many times where I would get physical with her too by grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her out of frustration during arguments because she would drive me insane with her words. I didn't know how else to express my anger so it always translated mostly into insults about her promiscuity and history. Anyway, eventually I got so fed up with her that I ended up telling her to take a hike and that I don't want to be with her if this is the type of person she's going to be by disturbing the peace in our household with constant comparisons to others. I didn't actually literally mean it when I told her to take a hike and leave and this is something I would often say when we would fight because when I'm angry I feel like I mean it but whenever I would calm down I knew I didn't want her to actually leave. She of course eventually took it literally, and when she did leave this time she immediately started seeing another guy. How did I know? I used 'find my phone' on her iPhone at that time to track her very strange movements and pulled up on her one day while she was with another man. The man shit himself when he seen me, kicked her to the curb and drove off while texting her to forget him. Her reason for doing this was, "you kicked me out, we are not together, and I don't want to be with you". All that just because I didn't buy her chanel and louis vuitton designer bags that her friends boyfriends were buying for them. Me being the low self-esteem insecure loser, I ended up trying to once again work things out with her and reconcile our relationship because I was afraid to lose her and be alone. It's embarassing to admit this but that's the truth.
Again more years went by and I had noticed that a depression and anxiety struggle I had over the years was starting to get pretty bad. Luckily in 2018 I was able to cure my depression in the Amazon Jungle of Peru by participating in several Ayahuasca ceremonies but unfortunately it didn't do anything to help my crippling anxiety. After that trip when I came home from Peru and she was again beginning to show signs of discontent by comparing me to other peoples boyfriends and was giving me a hard time every single day about stupid shit. She was telling me I don't do anything for her, despite over the years sending her on so many vacations with her friends and giving her thousands of dollars of spending money, bankrolling her business she started and so much more. I was taking so much of this from her on a daily basis that it was driving me insane to where I told her once again during the heat of an argument to take a hike if she thinks I'm so bad and of course she did just that. She never stopped to think of all the things that I have done for her but only seemed to focus on what I wasn't doing for her.
After she moved out we still talked regularly and I started noticing she was acting a bit weird. One night I asked her to go out for dinner and drinks and when we got back to the house she passed out drunk and so I went through her phone. I immediately went to her texts and found out she was seeing someone and the texts indicated it was potentially and most likely physical and so of course I lost my shit. I woke her up and confronted her about the texts and I will never forget the smirk she had on her face. I couldn't believe that once again she would do this and especially after fighting over dumb shit like comparing me to others. Everything I learned about this guy she was now seeing indicated she got with him because he appeared to have money. I felt this because she ridiculously and shamelessly stated she liked his Mercedes G-Wagon and all the comparisons to other people and the bad influences she had around her was obvious to me. Sadly, I again let myself down and begged her like a little bitch to stop talking to him and she was not wanting to this time. I was so fucking pathetic that I paid her a very very large six figure sum of cash to come back to me and to leave this guy. Before the cash offer she wasn't showing interest to come back but once I mentioned the money and bought her some jewellery, she suddenly was warming up to wanting to come back to me. I did, however, throw some contingencies in there that she had to come with me to Peru to participate in Ayahausca ceremonies because I felt like she had some serious internal issues and traumas that she also needed to sort out to change for the better. I felt like the reason she was always behaving so reckless and so concerned with other peoples lives and all these comparisons was because of some deep rooted traumas. I say this because she grew up without a father and without money so this is something I always considered about her and kept in mind. Participating in Ayahuasca circles really opened my eyes to trauma and behavior issues we humans have from stuff in our childhood so I knew all these messed up things she's doing stems from a root cause of something in her early life experience. It was certainly the reason why I needed healing because I had my own traumas from my childhood that was affecting my life and behavioir as well. Anyway, she hesitantly agreed and we went to Peru together. When we were in the jungle I felt her energy during one particular Ayahuasca ceremony and she seemed very scared and showing a side of her that I didn't see before. I knew right then and there that she is suffering from something in her soul that that she wasn't even aware of. I always did notice and pickup on her very serious lack of self awareness that she still seems to struggle with to this very day.
We got back home and everything seemed alright. I started noticing she was different in a way I hadn't witnessed before. Different in terms of her energy and her aura. One day she suddenly out of no where told me "after ayahuasca, looking back on myself, I feel like I was possessed by something very dark considering how I used to behave" .. She was referrng to her reckless beahvior and essentially saying she can't even believe her own past behavior and feels like she wasnt herself and now she is waking up and snapping out of it. I swear to god I cried tears of relief when she said this to me and I felt like maybe, just maybe we can have a normal life now. She also at this same time made a promise to me that she would never ever repeat those same behaviors again and that even if we were fighting one day and separated temporarily on a break for whatever reason, that she would give me the respect of letting me know before she talks to or dates any other men. Sounded very good to me of course.
Well, unfortunately Ayahuasca isn't a one trick pony and often times it requires many many ceremonies to fully heal deep rooted subconscious traumas and if you don't go back and finish what you started, you can slip back into old habits especially if you don't put in the work to change from the lessons you learn. I can only speak for myself and can say that I was still not doing too well with my anxiety and I wanted to go back to Peru again to do more work on myself. This time I left to Peru in 2021 and when I came back she was again suddenly being so nasty and mean to me when I was in an energetically sensitive state. Once again every single day back to comparing me to other men who shower their women with money and saying I never do anything for her like the entire past 17 years of everything I did for her, giving her cash, jewellery, vacations and cars all was nothing. The past didnt matter, it only mattered what I was doing for her in the moment. She drove me so insane for six months straight that one day I blew up and told her to either stop or get out. She decided to pack up and move out on her own. I tried to stop her but she didn't and she went anwyay. Some months went by and we would talk on the phone and she would tell me she realizes she has a lot of work to do on herself and that she is trying to heal herself. I told her great, I'm happy to hear that and I really did feel like maybe she might need this time alone to heal and it could possibly be what she needs. Well, unfortunately for me, she once again revealed to me a little over a month ago that she is talking to another man AGAIN and despite promising me she wouldn't do so without talking to me first, she did anyway. Her reason for breaking her promise is "were not together and I owe you nothing". She went as far as showing me text messages between her and this man from the USA and I asked her why she would rub that in my face and she said "I showed you that text so you can see that there are real men out there who wont just give bread crumbs to their woman". According to her, all I ever gave her was bread crumbs despite spending hundreds of thousands of dollars of my own money on her over the years, I am now being measured up with random men she met on dating apps. Here's the kicker, we dont live in the USA and she's been talking about wanting to move there for the last couple of years. Interesting how she now suddenly is speaking to a man online from there. You can draw your own conclusion on the motive for that.
The sad part of this all is that despite the resentment, I still love her......
​
Well, there you have it. That's the story of my pathetic life. I imagine I will be shamed and told how much of a loser I am and I probably deserve it. Either way, I want to hear what some of you think.

Been with my partner for 7 years now. 2 kids. He's been abusive asf in the past . Kinda just stopped but I'm educated enough thanks to time to know he'll do it again eventually but because I'm so psychologically trauma bonded I'm having a hard time leaving. Also makes me feel like a dumb bitch 🤣
Up until today. (Kinda) 2 weeks ago he was on his phone about to pick us a movie , he only got up to unlocking it and pictures of naked girls and girls in lingerie showed up. He put the phone towards his chest and gave me a deer in headlights look, I asked him gently what it was he said it was nothing until I continued asking him because I knew what I saw. He shut the conversation down and we went to bed. The next morning I had to just look , and when I did, I knew I seen what I saw so I addressed it again and he dragged my feet from beneath me, slammed my back onto the ground so hard , my head too, kicked me in my private parts and punched me in into a corner and I had to sit there. He then trashed the outside of my house and left. I created a new page (he still doesn't know about) to avoid communicating with him. He sent me money the day after and endlessly reached out about how worried sick I was making him feel by not talking to him. I know this is just narcissism at this point so me going full no contact lasted a week. I let him back because he swore he would make it up to me. But I knew as soon as he's back, I'd have to just swallow it and be okay because it's the past now and that's exactly what happened.
Today, he had an appointment to attend, he left his phone here on charge . I tried my hardest to not go on it. I'm purely traumatized from 2 weeks ago still so I resisted. Until I couldn't. I jumped on, and sure enough, he has nudes in a locked folder we set up for our stuff of other women. He has 4 names of women in his notes. He has hidden girls in places of his phones. He has a hidden login for Instagram but says he doesn't use it. He has had 3 conversations with 3 different women early hours in the morning but I can't read what it says because it's just a social media notification in his emails.
Because of how it went last time I tried to address the behaviour and how it made me feel and I got attacked, I don't want to do that this time round. He's been home for a few hours now and I just can't even look at him. His touch makes me gag. We only ever talk when we're in bed , and even then, Im always thinking that he's imagining the girls he's hiding when he needs to finish type of thing.
I know I don't want this relationship anymore but I have to play dumb and act like I don't know anything and my feelings are full of pure happiness. When I really just want to kick him out and never think about his existence again.
This is minor compared to anything else he's put me through. But I'm at breaking point .
My question is for anyone out there who has ever left an abusive narc,
How do we cope with the guilt of just walking away in peace because if you know you know it's not that easy . 💯
Side note. I also have told him how his actions make me feel and he said he understands he's speechless and he's sorry. But we all know that ain't shit because we're back to square 1 .

This is my first ever attempt at posting on reddit. Please be gentle, this interaction is still bothering me from earlier today and I really want to understand. I do listen to smosh, two hot takes, and Charlotte discussing these posts more then I should and I am hoping that will help. On to the story. For context I had a root canal on one of my canine teeth an I had just left this appointment with a numb upper lip and a terrible urge to pee. As I walked onto walmart, I quickly checked out the plants; I couldn't help myself and parked on that side of the store since it is always less busy.I quickly walked to grab the few items I had stopped for; checked out and went to the bathroom after paying for everything but not grabbing my receipt.tried to hit the text receipt button but I really didn't care and had to go. Normally I woul have went to the restroom first but was in a hurry and the bathroom was n the way out. As I tried to leave a greeter stopped me an asked For my receipt. I said I didn't have it and obliviously kept trying to exit lol He stopped me again more persistently and said he needed the receipt or had to go to customer service. I said I did not want to go to customer service. The line was like 7 deep and i asked why I would need to go to customer service when I had just purchased my items and I am trying to exit the store. I was getting louder so the lady looked at me from customer service and I explained again the situation, I knew even knew the total was $59. She said I was good because I had my items in bags? It took everythung in me not to say "thank you come again" because the man that stopped me resembled apoo from the simpsons. I have so many questions and am pretty offended, tbh. I was dressed in Business causal clothes because I had been working at the hospital I work at prior to all this. I can't understand who this guy thinks he is, and where is loss prevention if you think i am stealing? I am not a theif and I don't steal. I worked 2.5 hours for the contents in the 2 bags I had. I didn't set off any alarms and/or wasn't doing anything suspicious on purpose or that I can think of. I try to be respectful and not act like a Karen but I still had to pick up my daughter and had a long drive home. AITAH for getting frustrated with the walmart greeter today?

I (F24) recently got out of a year long relationship w my ex gf (F35) back in March. When we first took a break, I felt like she was the one who wasn’t pulling through and providing and it turns out I was the one that was failing her. She wanted our conversations to be natural, fun, creative, etc. but to her they felt forced and prompted, she wanted us to have a more natural flow to things. It was understandable as it was something that used to be natural but I’ve come to miss. After we took our break, she even said that she just had this gut feeling it was supposed to be us at the end of the day and that she couldn’t shake it. I thought that my conversational skills were improving and that we were getting to a better place but at the end of April, she told me she thought we should stop trying to get back together and I was absolutely blind sided. She wants to stay friends but thinks we should have time and space (it’s been about 2.5 weeks since we’ve been trying to give each other space) but I’ve been struggling with that. I’ve been trying my hardest but I’ve admittedly texted her a few times… I was speaking emotionally and told her I wish we never dated. I didn’t mean it and I would never mean it. I just got tired of her knowing I was upset and I was trying to hide my pain from her by gaslighting myself into thinking I didn’t care. I apologized for that and more but she hasn’t replied (it’s understandable I didn’t expect her to reply). I messed up big time and I want her back bc i have a solid plan at figuring out how to fix my conversations. It’s such a small and simple request that I feel is not a lot to ask for I just didn’t know how to go about it before. I love her so much and ,although my previous words regretfully do not show that, I know I can be better for her. She said she’s tired of going in circles and that there’s nothing I can do to fix it but I feel like she said that because she thinks I’m incapable of changing. I know I can change and I would do anything she asked if it meant we’d get back together. As stupid as it sounds, I’d get on the guardians of the galaxy ride or incredicoaster at DCA if it meant she’d come back. To outsiders that may sound stupid and easy but she’d understand the weight behind that.. I just need one more chance to prove to her that we can do it. I fucked up so bad.. do you think I can fix it? What should I do?
TL;DR: My gf and I broke up and I was a bit harsh and rude via text. I know I can change and want her back…

My game kicked everyone at extraction??
Game has been buggy all night, did one of those wall defense missions and five min in enemies stopped spawning and rockets stopped launching, idk exactly what’s going on or why. Did a data upload mission and the game kicked everyone but me the second the pelican landed which is a glitch I’ve never seen before.
I’ve seen so many posts about people getting kicked at extraction bc the host doesn’t understand the samples are shared but after what just happened I think we should all consider that bugs might be affecting this as much as problem players. Why would I kick on a suicide mission where we didn’t even have super samples collected??
I feel so bad for my lobby. Hope you see this y’all - you were great and didn’t deserve to lose out like that

I, 35 female, had been in an on again off again relationship with my boyfriend, 45 male, for the last 3 years. I won't bore you with the details of how we met and what went on for the last 3 years of our relationship, I'm just going to get to the point.
Back in late September 2023, my boyfriend moved to Iowa. We had just gotten back together when he sprung that on me and I was rather upset at first but knew that he was only moving because it was for his mental health. Living in the big city can be very costly and stressful, so I understood his reasoning. I did not go with him and figured we would go our separate ways. Fast forward four months later and I get a message from him through Facebook messenger asking me to call him. I call him and learned rather quickly that he had been drinking but he was asking why I suddenly ghosted him by not replying back to his texts or calls. For context, I never blocked his number.
I told him that I did not get any of his texts or calls. He asked me why I never tried reaching out to him and I explained that I thought him moving away and not staying in contact meant the end of our relationship. We had a lengthy conversation that night and he asked me to come visit him. I told him that I will consider it but would need to build up some PTO as I had just started a new job and didn't want to risk anything during my first 90 days. We stayed in touch after that, calling each other daily and talking on the phone for hours just catching up and going over mutual interests and so on until I've built up enough PTO to go visit him.
You may wonder why I was the one to go visit him in Iowa. Firstly, he wanted me to see the town he had decided to settle in. Secondly, we had discussed resuming our relationship and possibly having me move out there as it was out of the question for him to move back to the city where I live. I understood his reasoning for moving but felt that leaving the life I have behind for him felt a bit extreme. But I kept an open mind about Iowa and went to visit (side note, there are no direct flights to where he moved to. I had to fly to Chicago, which is a 2.5 hour drive away and he had to rent a car to pick me up). I spent a four day weekend with him, and I'm not going to lie and say that it was magical and romantic because it's Iowa. Seeing him again, however, brought back all the feelings I had for him and I realized just how much I had missed him.
I honestly didn't see much during my visit as it wasn't a dense town like I would see back home, as everything was very spread out. That should have been my very first clue to the kind of life it was like. It was very quiet and peaceful, which was a change. Unlike the city where it was always busy and sirens going off in the distance was a constant, at night it's dead silent. It was definitely a change in pace and I was more or less charmed, but not impressed. My weekend visit was over before we knew it and I returned home back to the life I was most comfortable with.
My boyfriend and I resumed our daily phone calls, but I noticed our conversations began to shift towards me moving out to Iowa. And in truth I was swayed by the idea of leaving the big city for small town life, however, my biggest hesitation was job security. I work in the medical field and finding a job with my skill-sets wasn't a huge challenge aside from the lack of urgency of callbacks from the jobs I had applied to. My boyfriend reassured me that it was just how things were in Iowa, that unlike the city, the businesses moved through a system that was much slower than what I was used to. I had my doubts but then again I didn't know much about the hiring process in the mid-west. My boyfriend then said it would probably go a lot faster if I was actually in the area (which I was skeptical about but didn't comment). I knew he just wanted me there with him and, at that time, I wanted to be with him because I had truly believed that we had talked through our past issues and were now on the same wavelength of what we wanted as a couple moving forward.
Boy was I in for a rude awakening.
I literally packed up my life into my SUV. I didn't take any furniture with me knowing that what my boyfriend lacked we could always buy. It took me 3 days of driving to reach Iowa and I had never thought I'd be so happy to be in Iowa or all places, but I was. I was blinded by hopes and dreams of a happy life with the man I thought I was in love with. I should mention that I have been saving money for a down payment on a house for the last 5 years and have managed to save $20k. It has been a personal goal, not dream, for myself to be a homeowner, not because I want that white picket fence dream, but because I simply want a home that is truly MY home. I want a safe space that truly feels mine and have it reflect the type of person that I am, instead of apartments where I would have to return the space to the manufactured setting once I leave.
Now, the housing market in Iowa is relatively cheap compared to Washington. And when I saw the cheap listings, cheap as in less than $200k for a 3 bedroom 2 bath, move-in ready house I was ready to commit my new life in Iowa with my boyfriend. At first, my boyfriend was very supportive of my house hunting, he knew that it was personal goal of mine and had always said how he admired my ambition to become a home owner. I got in touch with a realtor agent who collaborated with me on what my boyfriend and I were looking for in a home. I probably saw about a dozen houses within my first 2 weeks since arriving to Iowa and I actually found a house that we both really liked. I was ready to put in an offer when my boyfriend suddenly told me that he didn't want to become a home owner, saying that it was too much of a commitment that he never wants to make.
It gave me pause, and though I was very disappointed in having to put aside a goal I made for myself, I half-heartedly agreed. It was then things started to unravel between us and his mood just quickly declined. I should note that my boyfriend has diagnosed PTSD from childhood trauma and he has a tendency to become anxious and agitated when stressed out. The days that followed I had noticed a shift in him and because he works from home, I just assumed it was because his work was stressing him out.
I tried to be a good girlfriend by staying out of his way while he was working and try to be as quiet as possible while at home. I would try to help out with small things like letting the dogs out to relieve themselves and take them on short walks. I tried to be mindful to not make a mess. Along with my boyfriend's anxiety and mental health struggles he also has OCD, and while back in Seattle I had noticed he liked to keep a clean home, out in Iowa it had become abundantly clear that the smallest mess would upset him.
His bad mood only worsened. One day, while he was folding laundry, I asked him if there was anything he'd like me to do around the house because I wanted to be helpful. He said "If you see a mess, clean it." That came off as truly strange to me.
"Do you want me to vacuum or clean the bathrooms?" I asked.
He looked at me like what I had asked was the dumbest question he had ever heard and snapped at me with: "If you see a mess, clean it. You're not 12 years old, you're not being paid an allowance to do simple chores. You're an adult, you should already know what to do."
What he said embarrassed me and made me feel so small and inferior, but it also truly angered me. Where was all this hostility suddenly coming from? I didn't want to start a fight over chores and simply helped him fold the laundry. We eventually had a talk, which turned into him going on a tangent about how he requires to keep a clean and sterile house, that "everything has its place" in the house. He then went on about not wanting the commitment of home ownership and that he has no intentions of ever returning to Seattle. He told me how all my stuff cluttering the bedroom and office is taking a toll on his mental health and that it's my job to make sure that they're all put away so he doesn't have to see them (mind you, I was still unpacking and with limited storage space the rest of my belongings are still packed away).
Then he suggested something that blindsided me. He suggested that I possibly look for my own place so that we live separately and slowly integrate into each other's lives again. It was then that I took account of all the red flags that had sprung up from before I foolishly packed up my life to be with this man that I suddenly no longer loved. It was as if a switch in me had been flipped and all those feelings of affection just left my system. I told him that what he was proposing wasn't possible because I was struggling to find employment and didn't want to waste my savings on a brand new lease, especially since I was just added onto his lease.
I tried to find a middle ground with him, especially when it came to my personal belongings. I knew that he was talking about my makeup being out on the counter. Mind you, my second day in Iowa, we had gone to Costco where I found a makeup organizer and purchased it. All my makeup fits neatly in it and isn't scattered all over the place, he just doesn't like seeing them. That still wasn't good enough for him but I had to point it out to him by saying "I live here, too. It's only fair that I should feel like this is my home."
After that, the tension between us only got worse. He would have angry outbursts over the smallest inconveniences and prioritize more on his "mental and physical health" than work on our rapidly deteriorating relationship. I'm also at fault for not trying harder to talk things out but after he suggested I find my own place I subconsciously knew our relationship was over, on top of that, I was also emotionally drained and feeling depressed.
Now moving to the present, I had finally secured a job that would be opening a clinic nearby, meaning I wouldn't have to waste gas as much and would finally be able to contribute financially to the household. When I told my boyfriend the news it was received with a rather lackluster response but I still held out hope that once I start working and be out of the house more things might mellow out. Then, over the weekend, everything fell apart.
I had woken up early because the dogs needed to go outside. I knew my boyfriend wasn't getting much sleep lately so I let him sleep in as much as possible. Once the dogs had finished relieving themselves I had the intention of going back to bed to get another hour or so of sleep but the dogs came in to disrupt that plan. My boyfriend didn't like that and got up explosively, cursing and yelling as he stomped downstairs about how he couldn't get any sleep. I go downstairs to tell him that he can go back to bed, that I forgot to feed the dogs after letting them outside and that I would take care of it. He yells at me that he would do it since he's up and then goes on a rant about how his life was disrupted ever since I arrived. Let me remind you that he wanted me there in the first place.
He blamed me for the poor sleep he's been having ever since I arrived (there is also 3 dogs sleeping in the bed with us). He blamed me for his financial woes (he took care of the bills until I found a job). He blamed me for the hit to his credit score (I took a hit as well because we were getting pre-approval for a home loan before he said he didn't want to move forward with it). Blamed me for the decline in his mental and physical health (he vapes throughout the day and his vices are scotch and ice cream). And he blamed me for his inability to focus on drawing his comic series because of his mental health decline (he's a decent artist but I can't take credit for his creative block).
While he listed off all the things I am to be blamed for and how he had made so many compromises for me I reflected back on my surprisingly short time here (3 weeks, nearing 4), I was the one who made all the compromises. I was the one who made the bigger sacrifice. I traveled half-way across the country for a man who will never make my happiness a priority. From the start of our relationship 3 years ago to now, I was the only one who had to make sacrifices just to pacify this giant man-child.
He brought up me finding my own place again and I told him that if I have to move out then I'm returning to Seattle. He didn't fight me on that but the downside is that I have to wait for my parents, who had planned to drive out this way in June from Seattle, to visit friends in Chicago. They've been made aware of the situation and will be driving out in my step-dad's pickup truck to haul back all of my belongings and we would leave together in both my step-dad;s truck and my SUV. I had emailed the hiring manager I had gone through my interview process with, letting her know that I unfortunately will be returning to Seattle due to personal circumstances.
In the meantime I have begun submitting my resume to clinics and hospitals back in Seattle and already have several interviews set up (much faster turn-around than Iowa) and hopefully soon I will have secured a job before my return home.

I don’t assume this is common or normal but trying my luck here to see if anyone ever experienced similar things
My body behaves in strange ways after I get on Ozempic - aspartame IMMEDIATELY lowers by 10 points on first bite - in fact, I have this strange first bite syndrome where food immediately lowers my blood sugar after first bite. Then yes it slowly rises after some time but that first bite thing can be quite counterproductive when I am having a hypo crisis and migraine.

• I get into series of hypoglycemic crises, often when I am sleeping, uncontrollably. If affects my life because it triggers daily migraines and I have been on triptan for a week now- you aren’t supposed to…
  
• I have all the hypoglycemic symptoms despite the number not being lower than 4.5 (UK)/ 80 (US). Very 🫤 confusing.
  

I do have a history of compulsively chasing a lower number even my body says I feel awful whenever I am lower than 85. I guess I need to stop listening to everyone else’s number and listen to my body…!

• the hunger suppression has stopped about a century ago… it’s totally controlling my blood glucose and making it low (and maybe too low) but I eat as much as before I started Ozempic already. It has only been a few months.

Argh. I wish I don’t have those annoying hypo crises, as I have so much faith in this drug I do want to take it for life.

I have been in a coaching for JEE since 11.I was pretty above average in class 11,I got 19-20 rank in coaching tests consistently. In class 12 students were divided in batches based on how much they discussed doubts.I got in the batch with the people who talked less to teachers because my parents never took me to doubt classes,they dropped me to coaching till the end of 11th,I was too young for learning license .Of course the batch was filled with below average students with only one or two standouts.I was doing pretty good in my batch,almost no competition in the batch,I even topped in my batch once and got 13 rank in my coaching.One day my mother and father took me an event without asking me,I missed one class.Keeping up with the syllabus was already hard enough,after missing that class,I was left writing notes when I should have been solving questions.A few months later I was still doing good but not that good.One day after a school exam,after my coaching I had a pain in my ear,so I went to the hospital with my parents and they didn't even check my ear or anything,strapped me to a bp checking machine and my BP was high.I had only slept 4 hours due to my exam and had just ate before ,bp shouldn't be measured after eating.After that they just kept mocking me if I have girlfriend or something else,they were just looking for a chance to mock me.I never talked to girls but they kept mocking me that if I have an affair then I should tell them,like that would even affect my BP.After that they made me miss 2 more classes,I had to give up on solving questions,I fell behind everyone in my batch but still scored ok in tests.They just kept demotivating me for my marks.It's not like they were perfect ,they dropped me extremely late in every class . In class 11 my mom started teaching in a school,me and father were very supportive of her and after a while I couldn't handle anything,she didn't make breakfast,I had to do everything alone,father kept shouting at her for joining a school when she wasn't there and I had to listen,they never fought directly,they just used me like an anger dump,they never tried physical punishment because I am pretty strong for my age.She left teaching after I begged her to leave it. When I was in class 12 she joined teaching again just after I had started getting good marks,she wouldn't listen to me and my father telling her to not join,our routine was destroyed again and I had to listen to my angry father.Even when I was in class 10 they were very unsupportive and demotivating. I got 86 percentage in class 10 half yearly exam,they then stopped treating me like a human and talked to me like I was their worker or something. I was considering suicide in class 10 ,I planned on doing it when they weren't home. I was holding a razor ,ready to cut my hand,no one was there but my dog,she came to me and wanted food.Then I put the razor back and gave her food ,I knew they wouldn't take care of her if their reputation got ruined by me.Even after 1st JEE attempt ,they just kept demotivating me,I had 27s1 and only got 83.4%ile , second attempt wasn't any better,suicidal thoughts were taking over me again,without my dog I wouldn't be here.I got 90% in 12 boards, atleast they won't bother me about that.In the end about 20 people in my coaching got more than 99%ile and my 19,13 rank and so on didn't matter anymore.I have took a drop and I am already regretting it,at first my parents were very supportive,but just after 3-4 days their deception faded away,they just treat me like I can't do anything.I am still only 17,I have started to walk my dog daily,that helps me a lot to cope.After I get a job, I won't be talking to my parents,I will only come home to visit my dog,even if I get a bad college next year , I am going , I don't want anything to do with these people anymore. JEE wasn't the main culprit,it just revealed their true nature. I will try hard this year to get my dog a better life. Rant ke liye sorry.

I can't explain the dread I feel right now. I love him so much, I've drifted apart from basically all of my friends and he's the only person left right now that I actually enjoy hanging out with and put effort into seeing. He texts me daily, is so understanding of me and my anxiety issues - he's sat with me for hours upon end, rubbing my back, telling me everything is going to be okay. Granted, a lot of these anxiety causes were over stuff he did, but still. He showers me with compliments, and we get up to so much fun together. I can't recall the last time I had so much fun with someone just lying in their bed, going out for a walk, etc. I love him so much.
But, a more logical side of me is telling me we have to break up. I am extremely torn and it's causing me so much anxiety. There have been several incidents that have deeply hurt me and made me question our compatibility.
About a month or two after he and I became official, he sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, intending for me to recreate it. He claims he “didn’t know” that it was her, frankly I was and continue to be insulted by the fact he thinks I’d believe he saw that picture and didn’t immediately know it was of his female friend and not some random girl he didn’t know, especially since he had cut her face out of the picture. Another thing related to this same girl - followed by an indulgence of my anxiety, I checked her instagram profile and I can see that he's liked a select number of pictures of hers whilst we were dating, all pretty provocative, which also makes me very insecure. What makes this different is that he’s told me they’re no longer friends, not by his choice but by her refusal since she ghosted him after they slept together, which makes it seem like he would be with her if he was given the choice. If I was her, I’d take a like to a picture like that to mean that he was still interested, especially since he told me she ignored his messages after they slept together, it changed the context a bit.
He also throughout our relationship for the first maybe 5 months demonstrated a very intimate knowledge about most of his female friends; I’ve heard him go into details about his female friends’ preferred masturbation techniques and relay that to me as advice, their favorite positions in bed, when I said I enjoyed it when he did something in bed, he could casually mention how “his friend told him she loved it as well”. For clarification, they never slept together, they had just deeply discussed things like this.
By happening to catch some notifications while we were on hisphone, I also was informed of his friend who sent him semi-regular updates about her sex life, describing certain sexual acts they did, how good the guy was, commenting on dicksize, etc. I made it clear I was not OK with this and he agreed that he found it too much. He claims he asked her to stop. But then, it happened again, and he blamed it on her forgetting. What hurt me here was also his lack of reaction when we both saw the text notification, he just noted on it and then continued watching the TikTok we were watching. He didn't seem to care about how it affected me or the breach of our set boundaries. That makes me suspect he either didn’t care or wasn’t surprised because, well, maybe he never set those boundaries in the first place.
When we spoke about it later, he did validate my feelings, but what also took place was him protecting her behavior. It made me feel so undervalued, and unheard. She has had sexual trauma, therefore she must message her friend who is in a relationship about who she had sex with, why, when and how. It was just such a shitty excuse, and I don’t know what’d make me feel worse; him genuinely believing that or him being so willing to lie to me. Regardless, we’ve now come to the decision to cut her off. So that problem should be “dealt with”, but my feelings of betrayal and distrust still linger.
I could never imagine doing these things in a relationship; it would make me feel like I was cheating. This is why I believe we're incompatible. While he may find this behavior acceptable, I don't. can't handle the anxiety and insecurity it causes me. I think I simply have a more conservative view of relationships, intimacy, and sex, and I believe it's essential that my partner shares this perspective.
Another major issue between us is our sex life. While I've enjoyed some aspects, I often feel my sexual needs aren't reciprocated. Despite discussing this before, improvements have been minimal. For instance, when I asked to use a condom for the first time, he put it on but then continued basically dry-humping me until he came. After that, I asked if he wanted to do something else - me still being horny - and he said he was too tired to continue. Next day, when I clarified “something else” meant intercourse, he was upset he missed out, indicating he did have energy but chose not to please me.
Another time, after we started kissing and moved to the couch, he requested I give him a blowjob, which I did, but then after he came he just left me on the couch, feeling used and alone. I feel this happens a lot, he is very focused on his own pleasure but not mine. What makes it worse, when I gathered courage to ask for reciprocation with a vibrator, which is hard for me being that forward, he responded unenthusiastically and then ignored it to first eat then play video games, then claiming he forgot. He later asked me “oh, did you want me to still do that?” maybe two hours later, but I was hurt and felt the way he asked seemed like it was more of an obligation to him than wanting to pleasure his girlfriend.
I've tried to communicate my needs and understand his, even considering factors like potential porn addiction (might be) or lack of attraction. Regardless, our sexual incompatibility persists. I need a partner as interested in my pleasure as I am in theirs.
All these reasons are, like I said, very logical reasons for a breakup, but my dread about it persists. I feel like I would rather take the insecurity and anxiety than feel this way. I’d miss him so much. It doesn’t help that I basically thought I was aromantic and asexual before I met him, I haven’t really been attracted to guys the way I am to him, on an emotional and physical level. I feel like I would never find someone who compares. I am an anxious wreck. Would apprechiate any advice on what you would do in my situation, how I could come to terms with breaking up. ANY insights, and I mean ANY, I would love, I am in dire need.
As a side-note, I was thinking of basically re-formatting this text a bit and sending it to him together with my break-up text, to explain it. He would require to know why, and I'd feel it'd be cathartic. Thoughts on that?
TL;DR: I'm torn about breaking up with my boyfriend, whom I love deeply and share a strong bond with. Despite his support and our fun times together, several incidents have hurt me and made me question our compatibility. He sent me a picture of a girl he used to sleep with, asking me to recreate it, and (IMO) lied about not recognizing it was her. He liked provocative pictures of her on Instagram, making me insecure. He shared intimate details about his female friends' sex lives, which made me uncomfortable. A friend of his sent explicit updates about her sex life, and despite agreeing to set boundaries, it happened again, with him showing little concern for my feelings. These actions have caused anxiety and insecurity, making me feel undervalued and unheard. Our sex life is also problematic; my needs often go unmet, and efforts to communicate haven't led to significant improvements. Despite these issues, the thought of breaking up fills me with dread, as I can't imagine finding someone who makes me feel the way he does. I need advice on how to come to terms with ending the relationship and moving on.

I don’t assume this is common or normal but trying my luck here to see if anyone ever experienced similar things
My body behaves in strange ways after I get on Ozempic - aspartame IMMEDIATELY lowers by 10 points on first bite - in fact, I have this strange first bite syndrome where food immediately lowers my blood sugar after first bite. Then yes it slowly rises after some time but that first bite thing can be quite counterproductive when I am having a hypo crisis and migraine.

• I get into series of hypoglycemic crises, often when I am sleeping, uncontrollably. If affects my life because it triggers daily migraines and I have been on triptan for a week now- you aren’t supposed to…
  
• I have all the hypoglycemic symptoms despite the number not being lower than 4.5 (UK)/ 80 (US). Very 🫤 confusing.
  

I do have a history of compulsively chasing a lower number even my body says I feel awful whenever I am lower than 85. I guess I need to stop listening to everyone else’s number and listen to my body…!

• the hunger suppression has stopped about a century ago… it’s totally controlling my blood glucose and making it low (and maybe too low) but I eat as much as before I started Ozempic already. It has only been a few months.

Argh. I wish I don’t have those annoying hypo crises, as I have so much faith in this drug I do want to take it for life.

Hey all,
I don't expect anybody to read this but want to post what has led me here as a form of journaling and helping keep myself accountable.
I'm 31M based near Boston, MA; married for 3 years and together with my now wife for 12 years. We just welcomed our first daughter earlier this year.
As we were preparing for the arrival of our baby girl I went to apply for a life insurance policy and was denied due to elevated GGT (gamma-glutamyl transpeptidase) which can be caused by excessive alcohol use. My PCP isn't overly concerned but don't love the idea of an insurance company being there have to pay out on a 30 year policy. I want to spend so much more than 30 years with my loved ones.
As I'm sure we're all aware while that should be a wake up call and the motivation to stop drinking alcohol dependency isn't so cut and dry. I've had day 0s before the most serious of which a year and a half so after a mental breakdown from work related stress and toxic treatment from my direct manager. There were thoughts of rehab and looking into local resource groups. Lack of programs for people who aren't yet sober, groups with heavy religious undertones, and challenges interviewing effectively potential therapists were all the primary reasons I didn't truly start this journey then. Life and work then got in the way and while I made it 30 days I'm here again. Pretty sure my family has undiagnosed alcoholism on one side so yay for genetics making me more susceptible.
Had an appointment with my PCP today and got prescribed an anti anxiety med on top of my anti depressant that hopefully will help combat the driver of my drinking urges.
I could drink a 4 pack of high ABV 16 oz NE IPAs each night or try and hide the alcohol in a Jameson and Coke from my wife. She'd find beer cans behind the couch cushions from the night before. Ever since we repurposed my beer fridge to a milk fridge I've been storing / stashing my beer unrefrigerated in the garage in the summer here in the northern hemisphere. Last night I was super tired, stressed from being yelled at by a newborn all day and a bit drunk and told my wife that she's treating me like a night nurse for the baby instead of equal partners. Which even if was true how I was feeling was a pretty shitty thing to say the way I did especially to someone I love and who is so recently post partum.
Today sucked felt super numb to both highs and lows but I got through it. Hope that as some people have mentioned emotions come back after abstinence since starting down this journey it feels like I'll never know the endorphin high of that first sip again.
This time I'm leveraging medicine and work with my PCP to find a therapist and support groups. Hopefully that and being open about my intention with others and myself I can be successful.

In this I'll go over each characters feats and make sure this debate ends fairly on both sides. We will do both anime and manga interpretations, if anyone would like me to do only manga or only anime I'll be happy to do so. Without further or do let's get started:
Now this isn't to be a Gokutard or Goku d-rider but as of now Son Goku slams Saitama almost effortlessly, I'll explain.
We will be giving both of them all their abilities, power ups, and we will be using statements heavily (ofc we are using feats but to scale feats we need statements to back them up, not all the time necessarily, but in this case we do for context)
Saitama before he became the opm he was a regular human who simply worked out every single day until he became so powerful he could one punch any enemy
Some fans of the show take this way to literal as we've seen people who can tank hits from him like boros and garou. Saitama has only been shown to one shot enemies that are weaker than him since we know he has never shown his true power or speed at all in the first parts of the series and chapters of the manga.
People also misinterpret the statement of saitama breaking his limiter as a way of saying he now has no limits whatsoever, which was debunked heavily by lots of powerscalers, just because you break a limiter doesn't automatically make you limitless, we see characters like goku break their limiter multiple times but we know goku isn't limitless he just has limitless potential.
Saitama has alot of statements over feats especially in some of his first appearances, I feel like any sane person would understand that saitama can't actually one punch characters that are on his level or above his level.
Let's get into speed feats for saitama so we can start getting into the differences.
Saitamas moon feat where he jumps from the moon back to earth took him 1.5 seconds( which would mean he was moving at around 260,000km/s) only .2 off from the speed of light (which takes 1.3 seconds to get from the moon back to earth)
The distance between the moon and earth is approximately 384,400km (or 238,855 miles)
This would mean, not even at full power he was close to hitting the speed of light.
Let's move on to other speed feats, flashy flash stated that he has already met four people who surpassed him in speed including saitama and if the name didn't already give it away then yes in this moment saitama was moving faster than the speed of light, later down the line he fights cosmic garou which introduces some crazy speed feats
When him and garou was fighting he demonstrated some very fast fighting speed when he uses his omnidirectional punch, which took incredible speed this would put him at mftl and he could calc even higher when he simply farts to catch up to cosmic garou which would put him at mftl+ and he would cap at that.
Strength feats:
Saitama has alot of Strength feats
When saitama uses serious table flip he lifts the surface of Jupiter's moon and nearly destroys it which is impressive since this feat was performed outer space and can be calculated from moon level Strength to planet surface level Strength.
Power( including AP):
Saitama shows great power as he was able to sneeze and separate the gases of jupiter, which is a great and heavily impressive feat due to the fact that jupiter is is 11x bigger than earth and he was able to casually sneeze the gases away mind you ITS A SNEEZE. But sadly he didn't destroy the planet which can't be used to say he can sneeze planets away because that's not demonstrated.
Him and garous clashing destroyed multiple stars which would include the galaxies surrounding them, which could calc saitama and garou to multi galaxy level easily but they would cap at that, they have not demonstrated any further feats that put thm above that.
Durability and endurance(stamina):
Saitamas Durability is absolutely bonkers as he survived hits that could destroy the surface of planets and could also survive attacks that can destroy actual planets
When garou and saitama were clashing blast had to move them to the moon or else earth would be destroyed sadly that feat alone would put both of them at planetary but ofc they get more powerful and become multi galaxy.
Saitama was able to survive attacks such as gamma ray burst, collapsing star roaring cannon, etc.
Saitama is also able to continuously fight without showing any signs of being tired whatsoever as we see once garou gives up Saitama is still chilling ready for more and still has enough power left to live up to his name and simply go back in time to one punch garou before the punch even lands.
This is where we get into the true scaling of his power growth and "limitless potential"
A graph shows Saitamas growth compared to garous and it was stated that under intense emotion he grew exponentially in seconds, and no one could keep up with him or was on par with him.
This statement shows that saitama can grow endlessly under intense emotion but that statement tends to get overlooked by alot of saitama fans because they don't like to admit that saitama doesn't grow as he fights he grows depending on his emotions.
Therefore saitama would scale to
Galaxy-Multi galaxy level MFTL+
With moon level to planet surface level Strength and Between planetary and Galaxy level durability/AP
Time for son goku
Speed:
In the frieza saga goku was already thousands of times faster than light as we see he can handle burter and jiece as burter was stated to be "the fastest in the universe" and goku casually outscales him in speed.
Goku was also fast enough to one shot recoome before recomme even noticed he disappeared.
Skipping to the cell saga
Goku and cell were fighting so fast it was hard for the z fighters to keep up, as piccolo stated that he couldn't see them and in dragon ball we all understand the fights are slowed down so we can see what they are doing.
Jumping to super, goku fought hit who has the ability to manipulate time by skipping into the future goku was able to catch up to him and hit him, which can be calculated from infinite to immeasurable speed, since he is moving forward in time with just raw speed alone, he also was able to move in a area that has no time/space( Zeno destroys trunks timeline) which would require absurd amounts of speed
Power and AP:
Back to the frieza arc goku was able to best frieza who was destroying planets by creating supernova with a lift of his finger as we seen when he destroyed planet vegeta.
Frieza was also stated to have the power capable enough to destroy the universe which is inconsistent since we don't see him actually destroy the universe, and cell was also stating that he can destroy the whole solar system which is crazy already since solar systems are bigger than galaxies which means cell would be well than enough to take on saitama.
This shows that saitama wouldn't even get past cell😭 and thats before super perfect
Mind you cell stated that he has infinite or bottomless power and strength which can easily be misinterpreted as cell simply meant his energy not his actual power or strength, this means cell already has more stamina than saitama by an infinite amount
Back to goku
Goku was clashing fists with beerus that would destroy the entire macrocosm even though goku was simply nullifying beerus attacks by matching them so he wouldn't destroy the universe, elder kai stated that the Shockwaves were getting stronger but thats only cause gokus nullifying was losing its affect the further they went.
This is similar to how bulletproof glass stops a bullet, the glass simply nullifies the bullets affect.
The dragon ball macrocosm or universe is a infinite growing universe as its already infinite, this universe also has 7 infinite realms inside of it with the kaioshin realm and otherworldly being deemed as super transcendental or just superdimensional which means they transcend the casual time/space and live outside of it
With that being explained beerus could've destroyed all of that in a single punch if goku wasn't there mind you beerus wasn't at full power when he was fighting goku
And goku matches those same punches, he eventually absorbs this same energy or power into his base form and now has that power in base meaning in base gokus universal+ in base...IN BASE.
Strength and durability:
Goku is able to easily lift and drag weights nearly the same size as buildings which is scary asf(this is before beerus shows up)
But the things goku lift are never stated he just lifts huge things without context lol
Goku is able to tank attacks that can destroy universes and even can withstand the gravitational pull of backhoes casually while damaged, backholes can destroy planets instantly meaning a weekend goku can withstand planet destroying attacks and he also casually compares the blackhole to bulmas gravity chamber
Stamina:
Goku has shown to get tired but after fighting for hours on end which means goku can fight for close to what seems like a day at best, we could use the hyperbolic time chamber as him fighting for a year but we simply don't actually know if goku fights the whole time while he is in there or not.
Goku based off of those feats alone would scale from
Low multiversal-low comp multiversal Infinite- irrelevant speed
With AP at universal+ Durability at universal-universal+
The fact that ppl truly think this is a debate is outrageous

Just had my bilateral salpingectomy today! I saw Dr. Charlotte Pickens in La Jolla, CA btw. It was an amazing experience y'all! Much easier than I anticipated! Buckle up, it's a long one, and very detailed! But all positive for the most part LOL
I'm 34 and have never EVER had surgery aside from getting my wisdom teeth out at 16, and a colonoscopy at 24. Never even broken a bone or gotten stitches, nothing. I have a lot of medical anxiety, I was tripping out the most over sleep paralysis despite anesthesia LOL Wasn't even nervous about the actual surgery, just didn't wanna wake up during it and be mentally scarred for life 🤣 Saw a few scary stories on TV once about that phenomenon.
The office gave me Hibiclens at my consult appt to take home & scrub my abdomen with the last 3 showers leading up surgery. Yesterday morning, yesterday evening, and this morning. No deodorant, lotions, perfumes, nail polish or jewelry after my shower this morning.
I was NPO after midnight last night. They instructed me to drink an ensure between 9pm-11pm last night since my surgery was in the afternoon. I also took half an Ativan last night at 9pm to make sure I slept and didn't have anxiety insomnia lol They also instructed me to take my heart arrythmia pill this morning right upon wakening with a tiny sip of water. I had an echocardiogram a week ago, so yes, I got cardiac clearance lol I also had a pre-op transvaginal ultrasound and blood work 2 weeks ago.
When I got there, they called me back to the pre-op room. I got weighed, asked for my height, and had to pee in a cup first thing. They then had me change into my gown, skiddy socks & hair net. They gave me 2 Tylenol 500mg & a Celebrex (200mg - for preventative nerve pain) with a tiny sip of water. Then they took my BP/pulse ox, and started my IV in my left hand, and started fluids and some Ativan. They also put on the leg compression things, man they feel great lol They got me heated blankets, and even had a lil pack of lavender smelly stuff they taped to the top left of my paper gown for relaxation 😊
All the staff came in and introduced themselves while in pre-op, from the surgeon herself, to the anesthesia team, to the OR scrub nurses, to the surgical resident that'd be observing (with my permission of course.) They also asked if they had permission to let the surgical resident practice a pelvic exam on me while under anesthesia, I agreed. I've been employed in healthcare myself for 17 years, so anything to help with someone's education! I could've refused if I wanted, but I really appreciated them asking beforehand.
They then wheeled me back to the OR, and I was feeling goooood with the Ativan lol They also pushed a lil GI cocktail too before they gave me the gas. I had to scoot myself from my original pre-op bed to the OR table, which was easy, they leveled the beds together and helped me. They then masked me with the gas, and I was outttt like a light after about 4-5 deeeeep inhales!!!
I woke up in post-op an hour and a half later. Went in at 12 noon, woke up at 1:30pm, all done! They intubated me after falling asleep, and pulled it out before waking up, it's like nothing ever happened! No soreness, hoarseness or coughing. I'm clearing my throat occasionally here and there 7 hours later, just kinda feels like when you get "bubbles" (post-nadal drip basically lol) in your throat with seasonal allergies. Not often enough to cause soreness which is great, waaaay better then what I anticipated after reading about other people's experiences on here. They cathed me too since they gave me fluids, thankfully after I was out, and removed it before I woke up, so it hurts to pee just a little bit, not even as bad a UTI 🤣 Like, a 4 on a scale of 1-10.
They gave me ice chips & apple juice straight upon awakening too, which was great! I had no nausea at all, still don't hours later. I rested for about 30 mins, then they brought back my ride to hang out with me and go over discharge instructions. I got up to go pee, and then they wheeled me outside to the car, and even opened the door & helped me get in!! They have $5 valet services for 0-3 hours parking, so the car was pulled right up to the curb right outside the front doors!
We drove straight to IHOP afterwards. I took it easy with some Belgian waffles & a few strips of bacon, and a mango iced tea, and a few sips of my ride's cinnamon milkshake lol I then stopped by Walgreens to grab a few house things I forgot to pick up last night, my ride helped & carried everything 😊
The ride home was smooth, I didn't have any discomfort from the shitty ass bumpy roads on our 30 min drive home lol I did bring a squishmallow to put between my belly and the seat belt, which was a genius idea I picked up on here!
BTW, I'm an occasional recreational cannabis user. I was honest and disclosed my use to my anesthesiologist only (VERY IMPORTANT), I didn't want that ICD-10 diagnosis use code going to Tricare from my consult appt ahead of surgery & prior authorization for obvious reasons lol. I quit edibles 2 months ago, and vaping 1 month ago. My anesthesiologist said I would've been fine discontinuing use just 5-7 days prior to surgery (no ibuprofen 7 days before either lol), but I did a month + to be safe, I'm a bit on the heavier side, and I've heard edibles stick around in your system (fat lol) much longer than just smoking/vaping, so I wanted to be super certain that I'd be clear and not fuck up anesthesia for myself. For reference, I'm 5'6", 180lbs. I took 3-4 puffs of a vape 4-5 days a week, and 10mg worth of edibles once almost every weekend for a few months straight, so not a super heavy user.
I hope my experience can help others make the decision to take the plunge too before election day lol I called to set up the consult appt back in December, had the actual consult appt in February, and first available surgery was today, late May.
I am a generally super anxious person by nature, and had my bestie/coworker take me to my very first surgery. My family is 3k miles away on the east Coast and couldn't be here, so if my anxious ass can do it, literally anybody can do it! I literally have nobody out here but my bestie, no family, no nothing. My soon to be ex husband is on deployment right now out in the Pacific, and is unreachable at the moment, and frankly doesn't give a shit. He knows I had surgery today too, and I KNOW he won't call or email out of common human decency to at least ask how it went when he does get back in service/port. He asked for a divorce a week after my consult appt, which happened to be 2 weeks before deployment, how convenient, after saying straight to my face before & after the appt that he totally supported my choice, and was looking forward to the DINK lifestyle with me. Oh well.
Y'all are 💯 when you say men aren't ~truly~ childfree unless they've had a vasectomy, or atleast got one scheduled on the books soon lol My conservative family back on the east coast are losing their shit over this, they're all christofacist trump bootlickers, I'm so glad I got to move away from all that and experience personal freedom/a different & better way of life out here. I'm so thankful to be in a position financially & geographically to have been able to take care of this. My GYN back home wouldn't even put an IUD in me at 29yrs old cause I never had kid before, so my cervix wasn't soft enough 🙄 Whatever bitch, I left and got spayed in Cali at 34 with no pushback from my Drs out here, kiss my grits lol
Thanks for coming to my hippie TED talk, hope this helps others! ♥️

In this I'll go over each characters feats and make sure this debate ends fairly on both sides. We will do both anime and manga interpretations, if anyone would like me to do only manga or only anime I'll be happy to do so. Without further or do let's get started:
Now this isn't to be a Gokutard or Goku d-rider but as of now Son Goku slams Saitama almost effortlessly, I'll explain.
We will be giving both of them all their abilities, power ups, and we will be using statements heavily (ofc we are using feats but to scale feats we need statements to back them up, not all the time necessarily, but in this case we do for context)
Saitama before he became the opm he was a regular human who simply worked out every single day until he became so powerful he could one punch any enemy
Some fans of the show take this way to literal as we've seen people who can tank hits from him like boros and garou. Saitama has only been shown to one shot enemies that are weaker than him since we know he has never shown his true power or speed at all in the first parts of the series and chapters of the manga.
People also misinterpret the statement of saitama breaking his limiter as a way of saying he now has no limits whatsoever, which was debunked heavily by lots of powerscalers, just because you break a limiter doesn't automatically make you limitless, we see characters like goku break their limiter multiple times but we know goku isn't limitless he just has limitless potential.
Saitama has alot of statements over feats especially in some of his first appearances, I feel like any sane person would understand that saitama can't actually one punch characters that are on his level or above his level.
Let's get into speed feats for saitama so we can start getting into the differences.
Saitamas moon feat where he jumps from the moon back to earth took him 1.5 seconds( which would mean he was moving at around 260,000km/s) only .2 off from the speed of light (which takes 1.3 seconds to get from the moon back to earth)
The distance between the moon and earth is approximately 384,400km (or 238,855 miles)
This would mean, not even at full power he was close to hitting the speed of light.
Let's move on to other speed feats, flashy flash stated that he has already met four people who surpassed him in speed including saitama and if the name didn't already give it away then yes in this moment saitama was moving faster than the speed of light, later down the line he fights cosmic garou which introduces some crazy speed feats
When him and garou was fighting he demonstrated some very fast fighting speed when he uses his omnidirectional punch, which took incredible speed this would put him at mftl and he could calc even higher when he simply farts to catch up to cosmic garou which would put him at mftl+ and he would cap at that.
Strength feats:
Saitama has alot of Strength feats
When saitama uses serious table flip he lifts the surface of Jupiter's moon and nearly destroys it which is impressive since this feat was performed outer space and can be calculated from moon level Strength to planet surface level Strength.
Power( including AP):
Saitama shows great power as he was able to sneeze and separate the gases of jupiter, which is a great and heavily impressive feat due to the fact that jupiter is is 11x bigger than earth and he was able to casually sneeze the gases away mind you ITS A SNEEZE. But sadly he didn't destroy the planet which can't be used to say he can sneeze planets away because that's not demonstrated.
Him and garous clashing destroyed multiple stars which would include the galaxies surrounding them, which could calc saitama and garou to multi galaxy level easily but they would cap at that, they have not demonstrated any further feats that put thm above that.
Durability and endurance(stamina):
Saitamas Durability is absolutely bonkers as he survived hits that could destroy the surface of planets and could also survive attacks that can destroy actual planets
When garou and saitama were clashing blast had to move them to the moon or else earth would be destroyed sadly that feat alone would put both of them at planetary but ofc they get more powerful and become multi galaxy.
Saitama was able to survive attacks such as gamma ray burst, collapsing star roaring cannon, etc.
Saitama is also able to continuously fight without showing any signs of being tired whatsoever as we see once garou gives up Saitama is still chilling ready for more and still has enough power left to live up to his name and simply go back in time to one punch garou before the punch even lands.
This is where we get into the true scaling of his power growth and "limitless potential"
A graph shows Saitamas growth compared to garous and it was stated that under intense emotion he grew exponentially in seconds, and no one could keep up with him or was on par with him.
This statement shows that saitama can grow endlessly under intense emotion but that statement tends to get overlooked by alot of saitama fans because they don't like to admit that saitama doesn't grow as he fights he grows depending on his emotions.
Therefore saitama would scale to
Galaxy-Multi galaxy level MFTL+
With moon level to planet surface level Strength and Between planetary and Galaxy level durability/AP
Time for son goku
Speed:
In the frieza saga goku was already thousands of times faster than light as we see he can handle burter and jiece as burter was stated to be "the fastest in the universe" and goku casually outscales him in speed.
Goku was also fast enough to one shot recoome before recomme even noticed he disappeared.
Skipping to the cell saga
Goku and cell were fighting so fast it was hard for the z fighters to keep up, as piccolo stated that he couldn't see them and in dragon ball we all understand the fights are slowed down so we can see what they are doing.
Jumping to super, goku fought hit who has the ability to manipulate time by skipping into the future goku was able to catch up to him and hit him, which can be calculated from infinite to immeasurable speed, since he is moving forward in time with just raw speed alone, he also was able to move in a area that has no time/space( Zeno destroys trunks timeline) which would require absurd amounts of speed
Power and AP:
Back to the frieza arc goku was able to best frieza who was destroying planets by creating supernova with a lift of his finger as we seen when he destroyed planet vegeta.
Frieza was also stated to have the power capable enough to destroy the universe which is inconsistent since we don't see him actually destroy the universe, and cell was also stating that he can destroy the whole solar system which is crazy already since solar systems are bigger than galaxies which means cell would be well than enough to take on saitama.
This shows that saitama wouldn't even get past cell😭 and thats before super perfect
Mind you cell stated that he has infinite or bottomless power and strength which can easily be misinterpreted as cell simply meant his energy not his actual power or strength, this means cell already has more stamina than saitama by an infinite amount
Back to goku
Goku was clashing fists with beerus that would destroy the entire macrocosm even though goku was simply nullifying beerus attacks by matching them so he wouldn't destroy the universe, elder kai stated that the Shockwaves were getting stronger but thats only cause gokus nullifying was losing its affect the further they went.
This is similar to how bulletproof glass stops a bullet, the glass simply nullifies the bullets affect.
The dragon ball macrocosm or universe is a infinite growing universe as its already infinite, this universe also has 7 infinite realms inside of it with the kaioshin realm and otherworldly being deemed as super transcendental or just superdimensional which means they transcend the casual time/space and live outside of it
With that being explained beerus could've destroyed all of that in a single punch if goku wasn't there mind you beerus wasn't at full power when he was fighting goku
And goku matches those same punches, he eventually absorbs this same energy or power into his base form and now has that power in base meaning in base gokus universal+ in base...IN BASE.
Strength and durability:
Goku is able to easily lift and drag weights nearly the same size as buildings which is scary asf(this is before beerus shows up)
But the things goku lift are never stated he just lifts huge things without context lol
Goku is able to tank attacks that can destroy universes and even can withstand the gravitational pull of backhoes casually while damaged, backholes can destroy planets instantly meaning a weekend goku can withstand planet destroying attacks and he also casually compares the blackhole to bulmas gravity chamber
Stamina:
Goku has shown to get tired but after fighting for hours on end which means goku can fight for close to what seems like a day at best, we could use the hyperbolic time chamber as him fighting for a year but we simply don't actually know if goku fights the whole time while he is in there or not.
Goku based off of those feats alone would scale from
Low multiversal-low comp multiversal Infinite- irrelevant speed
With AP at universal+ Durability at universal-universal+
The fact that ppl truly think this is a debate is outrageous

When I was about to turn 3 years old my father committed suicide two days before his birthday. This took a huge toll on me when I found out how he had died (my mother waited til I was old enough to tell me). Having is birthday and the day of his death in the same week is an emotional roller coaster.
Recently the day of his death came around. My mother seemed fine all day and even invited her boyfriend and his kids around to hang out and watch movies. I still live with my mom and little sister due to the fact that I’m currently in college and can’t afford living.
That night my mother made no attempts to comfort me besides the occasional side-hugs when I asked for one. After dinner I went out onto my houses porch and watched a show on my phone when I got a text from my friend. I had also recently been Sexually assaulted by my ex. And my friend texted me to let me know they wanted to talk to me.
That didn’t end well and I went into my room and had a panic attack. I tried to go to sleep but I couldn’t stop crying over everything that had happened. While I’m crying I hear my little sister, my mom, her boyfriend and his kids all laughing and having a good time a couple feet away from me. Which only made it worse.
I thought about going out into the living room and asking my mom to comfort me and help me through this. But I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone in the house. So I sent my mom a text begging her to come to my room and comfort me while I tried to deal with everything.
For those of you wondering “why would you send a text” my mom is always on her phone. She always has it on her and is never on DND.
10 minutes go by and my whole body is shaking from how bad I’ve been sobbing. 20 minutes go by with no reply. So I called my grandma sobbing crying and asked her to pick me up.
I packed a bag and walked out into the living room to grab my shoes. I wiped my face and put my shoes on as my mom came out of the kitchen with the biggest grin on her face and a bowl of popcorn.
I quickly told her that grandma was picking me up and I was going to stay with her for the night. My mom saw my face and her smile faded slightly. She pulled me into a hug and I broke down crying and she held me for a second.
I let go and walked out onto the porch and sat on the steps when I heard my mom coming. She sat down next to me. She asked me why I didn’t just go out and talk to her about what I was feeling and I just snapped and told her that it was my dads death day and I told her multiple times I wasn’t okay and the one time I needed her she was with some other family, laughing and having a good time.
She waited with me for my grandma and I immediately got into my grandmas truck as she got out of it to talk to my mom. My mom told her I was being dramatic and that all I did to signal I needed help was texting her. (My mom is a licensed therapist)
My grandma took me to her house and let me sleep in her bed for the night as we watched Medea movies.
It’s been a few weeks sense then and my mom still hasn’t forgiven me for snapping at her. She refuses to be in the same room as me and is making me pay more for the rent I pay sense then.
So AITAH?

after months of practice, $3500 in private lessons, I'm finally a California licensed driver at 18. I'm so excited! I already planned a road trip with my friends lol. XD
side note: I only missed 3 points on the exam. The examiner said I drive really good but what I got docked on is stopping when a pedestrian was illegally crossing the road, which lol whatever. BUT YES I PASSED MY TEST HURRAYYY!!!