I try to cut contact with her and this is how she responds.
When I was having a psychotic episode last year (due to Covid-related brain inflammation) she manipulated me into committing myself to a psychiatric hospital (I was hallucinating so it was easy for her to do this). Upon leaving the hospital, docs onboarded me with a psychiatrist who prescribed me 20mg Prozac.
SEVERAL MONTHS LATER I tell my mom I no longer want to have a relationship with her because she has severely abused me through my life.
A few days later, she contacts my psychiatrist and feeds him a bunch of lies about how I’m “sleeping on the concrete floor in the basement” etc etc.
The psychiatrist 1) believes her fully 2) doesn’t double check with me 3) diagnoses me with schizophrenia based on my one covid-related psychotic episode (naturally he doesn’t acknowledge the existence of post Covid psychosis) and 4) he signs a form certifying that my judgement is impaired and I need to be placed in a guardianship “without limitation.”
His reasoning for why my judgment is impaired:
-I’m unemployed… which is entirely due to my long Covid health issues and depression from the reality of being stricken with long Covid + ground down by living with my parents who constantly abuse me. Plus the Prozac he prescribed made it impossible to concentrate on anything.
-I’m eating too much salt (no joke)
A few weeks ago, with no warning, I’m served papers for a guardianship hearing.
The court official “guardian ad litem” interviews me and writes a report, full of punctuation errors, endorsing the guardianship. He says the guardianship should grant my mom power over all areas of my life, including where I get to live.
As for my mom’s abuse? He casts doubt on my accusations and insinuates I’m being petty and overly critical. My mom clearly has my best interests at heart and would be an excellent guardian etc etc.
He also never mentions that it’s his job to help me find a lawyer to represent me in my hearing… I figure this out a few days before hearing is supposed to take place… I go to the hearing without a lawyer…
At the hearing, the judge listens to my objections but allows the guardianship go through, sighting the schizophrenia diagnosis provided by the psychiatrist.
I’m numb right now.
I know my mom will do everything she can to make the guardianship as invasive as possible + last as long as possible. She is currently talking with her lawyer to see how the guardianship can be expanded.
She is nothing but cruelty, hatred, hold me back as much as possible, make my life just as bad as hers etc. that’s all she does.
I guess I’m looking for Advice? Emotional support? Can anyone… relate?

I’m a super high anxiety person - clearly. I’ve been fully remote between two jobs for about four years - 3 with my current company. I can’t imagine life without it. I work mostly on BI / data analytics and have a masters in CS / undergrad in Management.
My current company is based in Florida. I moved here about 6 months before the lockdowns at the recommendation of my boss at the time. Anyways, I hate Florida. No family here, no friends, the climate is awful. I just hate it.
I sucked it up for 3 years because I was still new and I wanted to be ready in the event there was a mandate. Since then, I got promoted, joined a new team and love my job. It’s been at the cost of my mental health as I’ve hated being in FL so much. Last year, I asked my boss if I could move to a state to be closer to family. She was so nervous at first because it sounded like I was quitting. She was immediately saying yes I can go. She’s said often that she can’t lose me. I got approval from her and her boss. I move next month. My role is not client facing. No reason to be in person. I’m running SQL queries and building reports.
Meanwhile, new CEO. He’s very pro RTO. There’s been no mandate but in his near bi weekly town halls he expresses how much he loves in person work. It’s mostly required on a team by team basis. A lot of people are back 3x a week. Some 5x. And there’s no remote postings anymore, all hybrid or on-site. I read all this news about RTO coming full force. All remote work articles I read are propaganda funded by real estate companies. I see this stuff about Walmart and Dell just ruining the lives of so many remote workers and making them relocate to just some cities I’d really hate to live in. I see companies laying people off who won’t comply.
I feel lucky in a sense. My boss and her boss gave approval. We already have a remote team member as well in our small 5 person team - so there was precedent. Ive been told some higher ups really like me and the work I do, so I guess I have some strong support. I asked one more time a month ago before signing my lease if there was any risk in leaving and that this was the last chance, and my boss not only said I was good but that, in the event RTO became a thing; it’s best to leave now.”
My worry is really just the new company leadership. The new HR person. Those types. I worry in a year I’m an easy target, but I’m also in a team that is pretty essential. I’ve been reassured twice. But this is also a CEO taking our summer Fridays, doing layoffs we’ve never seen, etc. I never worked well in an office. I never used to sleep well out of constant fear of being late and already being an insomniac. Pet daycare bills and car bills alone would leave me with no disposable income. I am an introvert with no interest in office talk - I just want to do my job in peace, which I do well. I could never go back. You couldn’t pay me enough. Yet I’m still nervous, the news freaks me out. It feels like remote work is gone. I know there’s crackdowns but I know I could also be just working myself up on the landscape of remote work.
I feel like after all the reassurance, I shouldn’t be as worried but I am. I’m so excited to move and see my family again and reconnect with friends and be somewhere I love. But I also just feel this fear that remote work is gone and this could happen at any time. Probably overthinking it. I just hope given my background and the work I do, I’ll have options.
Sorry this is more of a vent than a question, guess I’m just wondering how badly I’m overthinking and maybe I should just be be happy and grateful in a landscape that’s been so nasty for others

as in, i think it it sucks for everyone that there isn't a word to describe someone being lonely (and maybe even frustrated about it), which doesn't also have the baggage of being a mass shooter. i think that limitation in vocab itself leads to more polarization -- if you're a young guy who happens to be single, yet despite that feel like you're a decent person, what are you meant to think about yourself watching peers form relationships the way you learned to read? (for me i always turned the hatred entirely inward, don't worry)
i think it's especially confusing if you have autism -- society upholds it as a sign of virtue or success if you're in a relationship: you must've done something right, and if you're single you need to self-improve. YOU NEED to self improve, because all those NTs in relationships, they certainly don't have any flaws, they don't cheat or abuse, of course, clearly they're reached some moral or philosophical peak that enables them to find companionship.
and if you try to make that a goal, the way 'advice' about being single sort of suggests...isn't that then wrong and inherently a bit incel-leaning because you're viewing the relationship as an achievement or someone to gain possession of? despite, i think, the millions of normal people in history that have wanted someone and got them, and used that language, and turned out fine.
so it's like... it can't be a goal, because that's dehumanizing. but you also have to self improve to get there. but if you don't have someone, you're clearly deeply flawed and need to fix yourself. and i think it's possible to be in this situation, look at the work you've put into yourself, still not succeed, and be a bit pissed off, generally.
has anyone said the word 'bachelor' in the last 20 years? or 'unlucky in love' or 'spinster' or something? those words seem to have vanished. it's all polarized to hell (in a social-media-rots-your-brain sort of way) -- you've either sorted out all your problems, you have a partner, you have achieved the milestones, well done; OR ... what are you, some kinda incel sicko?
i think only the real real freaks genuinely think they are OWED anything, but i think it's perfectly reasonable for people to look at the vast majority of others in relationships, look at the fact that you have improved your life and self over the years, you don't hate women, etc, and think "well, what the fuck have i done wrong?"
and there doesn't seem to be any outlet for that thought besides deep dark alt-right shit or The Gym.
and that's a bit annoying.
these days, culturally, you're not really meant to interact with romantic motives with a stranger unless it's through a dating app, which are hell on earth for everyone, but i think especially us. (i have no idea how to approach 'small talk' on there -- why are we talking about coffee and baking and margaritas? why is that all anyone says on a profile?)
all that when added to the universal pressure of the economy getting shittier, rent and everything else growing grotesquely in price, and you don't even have someone to share the financial burden, let alone the emotional one.
it's a bit of a bummer, is what i'm saying. and it seems like....are you even allowed to be frustrated about it? the implication feels like: if you're upset, you're obviously blaming women instead of working on yourself. when i think:
a) there's only so much self improvement you can realistically do. people with massive flaws and issues get into relationships every day, as well. isn't that weird? from the way people talk about it, it seems like you have to be a paragon of virtue to find someone if you're single.
b) blaming people for not reciprocating interest is obviously asinine. it seems more like a broken societal promise, much like The American Dream generally. it seems like The Goal of being a person is to die retired in a house with a partner by your side. and if you're missing pieces of that....well, what the fuck do you do? especially if you're someone that isn't an alt-right sicko, has no bigoted hate in your heart, but is simply lonely due to shyness and Extremely Detrimental Disorders, but feel like you keep getting lumped in with the sickos just for being alone....is it not rough?

Kassandra Curze the Night Haunter left for Nostramo at the end of the great crusade. Her son’s by her side and more importantly her lover, Morgenstern. Her beloved iterator who had changed her and her legion for the better. The nights of Nostramo have been the quietest they’ve been since the Night Haunter first emerged. Though you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, it was always dark on Nostramo. Kassandra was on the balcony of her palace overlooking the city, though she was more focused on the void below rather than the landscape itself. Behind her, was Morgenstern who was awoken by her leaving the bedroom.
Morgenstern: Beloved? What’s the matter?
Kassandra: …Just a bad dream my beacon…
Morgenstern walked onto the balcony and stood by her
Morgenstern: Do you wish to talk about it?
Kassandra: … You’ve heard of my past deed as the Night Haunter, You’ve…seen parts of me that most would shirk away from. But I’ve never told you this before. There was…a boy, no older than twelve. He was a murderer and I had managed to track him down and corner him. When I looked into the boys eyes, I saw two futures. I saw myself taking the boy in, raising him, and together we would make Nostramo better. But then I saw different him…one who had escaped me by wounding me… I saw him become a legend. “The one who wounded the Night Haunter and lived”, it galvanized the scum of this planet and exacerbated the disease. I didn’t want to take the chance, I thought I saw him reach for his knife I…I killed him and only noticed after that his knife had been lost in the scuffle.
Morgenstern: And then you met me.
Kassandra: And then I met you, a propagandist for my father… One who cleared my mind of the visions…the only one I couldn’t see. You healed a part of me that was broken. And everytime I look at you…everytime I look at my world after you… I can only ever think of that boy. And I can never forgive myself, because he could’ve been here. I could have spared him and saved this world.
Morgenstern: Beloved, there are parts of you that I’ll never be able to heal. I can’t see the future like you, but I do know this. You have chosen a better way and that’s all you can do. You feel the beast within your mind and no matter how much love I give you it may never go away. But I will continue to love you regardless, you can only keep moving forward from you were. Maybe someday, you can bury the Night Haunter.
Morgenstern held her hand
Kassandra: Let’s get back to bed.
They returned to bed together. It was a quiet night on Nostramo, the air was clear of the scent of blood that once permeated it. Kassandra had never known peace, she may never know peace. But she was loved and that was enough to supplement it for now.

Hey Reddit,
I wanted to share a bit of a unique situation I've found myself in with my iPad. Due to the need to share it with my family, I've ended up primarily using a few specific apps: Messenger, Brave, Netflix, Google Maps, and ChatGPT. Here's why.
When I started sharing my iPad with my family, privacy quickly became a major concern. With everyone having access to the device, I needed a way to keep some of my personal data secure. That's when I discovered the Touch ID locking feature on Messenger and Brave. These two apps allow me to safeguard my personal messages and browsing history with a fingerprint, ensuring that only I can access them.
For messaging, Messenger has been a lifesaver. It’s my go-to for staying in touch with friends and colleagues without worrying about anyone else reading my conversations.
For browsing, Brave fits the bill perfectly. It’s a privacy-focused browser that not only blocks ads and trackers but also lets me lock the app with Touch ID. This means I can browse the web without anyone snooping on my history or open tabs.
Netflix and Google Maps have been great too, especially for entertainment and navigation. Although they don’t have Touch ID lock, I’m less concerned about privacy with these apps since they don’t contain sensitive personal information.
I also have the ChatGPT app installed, which has been incredibly useful for quick answers and brainstorming ideas. It's another app that I use frequently, though I’m always cautious about the kind of information I input.
While it’s a bit limiting to only use certain apps for privacy reasons, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind. Plus, it's forced me to be more mindful and intentional about my iPad usage, which has been an unexpected benefit.
Has anyone else had to make similar adjustments due to sharing devices with family? How did you manage privacy concerns?
Would love to hear your experiences!

Can someone please offer some perspective? I keep on bouncing back and forth between these two offers and just imagining life as a PCP or as a hospitalist.
Offer 1: PCP: $310k base, $200k sign on, regular bonuses and pension. Most physicians are pulling $330-$350k, M-F, 20 patients per day.
Offer 2: hospitalist: $268-288k base for 12-14 8hr round and go shifts per month. With extras ($700/day per extra on top of base) can push to $360-400k. Easy gig and most docs are working 18 shifts per month. You only work 31% of weekends.
They’re both PSLF, which is what I’m doing.
The thing is….I always dreamed of hospitalist (tbh intensivist) work and I enjoy being in the hospital the most while in residency. I like the idea of more acute work. But this PCP job of a good salary, normal hours, is pretty tempting. I don’t consider the signing bonus as it’s a 7 year commitment. I’ve been doing some soul searching to decide between the two but I need some outside perspective. I feel like I won’t be satisfied unless I’m making $370k plus.
FYI I’m in a VVHCOL area.

In yesterdays reading we see David on his deathbed and his son attempting a take over and plotting with Davids closest advisors, even going so far as to declare himself king before Davids death. We see another plot afoot in this section. Bathsheba is now plotting with Nathan to protect hers son Solomon David had already declared to be his successor in 1 Chronicles 28:5

"⁵ And out of all my sons—for the Lord has given me many sons—He has chosen my son Solomon to sit on the throne of the Lord’s kingdom over Israel."

1 Kings 1:11-27 (HCSB)

Nathan’s and Bathsheba’s Appeals
¹¹ Then Nathan said to Bathsheba, Solomon’s mother, “Have you not heard that Adonijah son of Haggith has become king and our lord David does not know it? ¹² Now please come and let me advise you. Save your life and the life of your son Solomon. ¹³ Go, approach King David and say to him, ‘My lord the king, did you not swear to your servant: Your son Solomon is to become king after me, and he is the one who is to sit on my throne? So why has Adonijah become king?’ ¹⁴ At that moment, while you are still there speaking with the king, I’ll come in after you and confirm your words.”
¹⁵ So Bathsheba went to the king in his bedroom. Since the king was very old, Abishag the Shunammite was serving him. ¹⁶ Bathsheba bowed down and paid homage to the king, and he asked, “What do you want?”
¹⁷ She replied, “My lord, you swore to your servant by the Lord your God, ‘Your son Solomon is to become king after me, and he is the one who is to sit on my throne.’ ¹⁸ Now look, Adonijah has become king. And, my lord the king, you didn’t know it. ¹⁹ He has lavishly sacrificed oxen, fattened cattle, and sheep. He invited all the king’s sons, Abiathar the priest, and Joab the commander of the army, but he did not invite your servant Solomon. ²⁰ Now, my lord the king, the eyes of all Israel are on you to tell them who will sit on the throne of my lord the king after him. ²¹ Otherwise, when my lord the king rests with his fathers, I and my son Solomon will be regarded as criminals.”
²² At that moment, while she was still speaking with the king, Nathan the prophet arrived, ²³ and it was announced to the king, “Nathan the prophet is here.” He came into the king’s presence and bowed to him with his face to the ground.
²⁴ “My lord the king,” Nathan said, “did you say, ‘Adonijah is to become king after me, and he is the one who is to sit on my throne’? ²⁵ For today he went down and lavishly sacrificed oxen, fattened cattle, and sheep. He invited all the sons of the king, the commanders of the army, and Abiathar the priest. And look! They’re eating and drinking in his presence, and they’re saying, ‘Long live King Adonijah!’ ²⁶ But he did not invite me—me, your servant—or Zadok the priest or Benaiah son of Jehoiada or your servant Solomon. ²⁷ I’m certain my lord the king would not have let this happen without letting your servant know who will sit on my lord the king’s throne after him.”

Q1: Why did Nathan the Prophet create this plot in the way he did? Why did he need to come in after and confirm Bathshebas words?
Q2: Why would Bathsheba and Solomon be regarded as criminals?
Q3: We know Gods plan here, we know that David was a man after Gods own heart and he was anointed by God. Was it wrong of Nathan and Bathsheba to manipulate Gods anointed like they did?
Q4: What other observations do you make of this reading?

My male cat has suckled on a specific crocheted blanket only if I’m using it for his entire life. I found him when he was 12 weeks old and the blanket has been in his life since day one. Over the years, I’ve read mixed opinions on whether this is because of stress or contentment.
I’ve tried to get him to stop by hiding the blanket (it’s my favorite blanket so this failed miserably) or using an extra blanket on top of it. If he can’t reach it he ends up suckling on me, he’s occasionally nibbled (? not really a bite he wasn’t upset) me as well which leads me to giving up and giving him the blanket.
I’ve only tried stopping him because I was worried he was too old, it was a sign of stress, or he was going to ruin the blanket (the blanket has been fine over the years so don’t care about that anymore).
Is this a bad thing? His vet assured me he won’t become impacted from the fibers bc he’s most likely not eating them and it’s up to me on whether to keep doing it. I’m only worried about his emotional state and if he might be mad at me if I take it away.
I’ve left on vacation for multiple weeks before and my roommate said he was a little more lazy but otherwise normal so no separation anxiety to me.

I’m tempted to upgrade from a 2015 Corolla S Plus to an off lease 2021 C300 with the AMG package and burmester surround sound. Can anyone here who’s owned or leased the 2021 C300 share their experiences and how difficult/expensive it’s been to maintain (I’m ok with other model years too)? I’m tempted, as I rented a 2021 C300 for a week and I loved the car. But, I also want to know what I’m signing up for in maintaining a C Class and how long before I get bored of the car?
For context, my commute is short. But, I drive between SoCal and the Bay Area to visit my family on long weekends so I wouldn’t mind something more comfortable for that.

I met a girl on Hinge two weeks ago and we started texting and talking on the phone a lot. We were planning to meet after a week but ended up wanting to see each other sooner and went bowling. Then we made out in her car and told each other we liked one another. A couple days later, she invited me to her house and we slept together (my first time with a girl). The next day, she asked me to meet her best friend.
We’ve been texting and talking on the phone nonstop but all of the sudden she’s acting weird. So we made a plan a week in advance for her to come to where I live and we’d get dinner. I sent her an itinerary on Google Maps with plans for the date (beach, dinner, going to the casino) and thought that would be a cute gesture. She didn’t look at it and the night before told me that she had a golf tournament the next day and would maybe not be able to come because she’d probably be drinking a lot.
Up until the moment she told me she would “maybe” not be coming, she was texting me nonstop. Then when I was asking about why she couldn’t come I asked her to call me (she told me to call her anytime because she likes talking on the phone) and she wouldn’t call me.
I just feel kind of stupid and used right now. This whole time she was telling me that lesbians just move really fast (uhauling) and this was normal. She even took me driving to see the kind of house she wants to buy. I thought that meant something. And now she’s blowing me off and I’m so hurt and confused. Like why not just not drink a lot at the tournament? Why wait until the last minute to say she “maybe” couldn’t come?
If anyone has any sort of insight or advice or can relate I’d appreciate it so much because I feel so hurt right now and don’t know if I should stop talking to her. My heart is broken and it’s only been two weeks :(

His breath had fragrant notes of tea that had been steeping for at least 5 years, mixed with the essence of a half-eaten cigarette. Small particles of salvia hit the edges of my ear as he spoke. His voice was rough and husky, being nearly too thick, almost struggling to escape his esophagus just to reach MY ears. His words weren’t smooth, but they soothed my longing aura. His words felt like I was being bathed in lavender and sung to sleep by the voice of an angel. I’d always close my eyes when he spoke, hoping for a more sensual experience, begging to have his fingers graze the edge of my hand or thigh, as though he were reaching for something. Wishing time and time again that something was my heart.
Though my pleads were rarely heard, I still remain hopeful. Releasing the last bit of breath I had stuck in my diaphragm, opening my eyes, finally able to see clearly. He’s standing right in front of me. Nerves still getting the best of me, my heart skipped a beat as my uncle yelled out “Buck up cherry blossom, we got more moving to do!” That’s when I knew I was in love.

At the wisdom of others suggestions, reposting.
Ethnicity: Chinese, born and raised in Canada. Not that it matters.
Myers-Brigg (if you’re into that): INFJ-T. Would prefer someone with a different MBTI. I’ve found it doesn’t work for me if someone’s MBTI is too similar.
University of Calgary undergrad; now I work from home.
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Open to any ethnicity, I’m more concerned about the contents of someone’s character rather than the color of the skin. Someone in North America, particularly in Canada. I can work from anywhere though hence being open to LDR in NA.
What I do: church, read, meditate, cold showers, daily exercise consisting of squash, badminton, calisthenics, skiing (occasionally), writing, the pursuit of wisdom, saving myself for marriage (if you know what I mean), pursuing purpose, traditional values, leading first and leading positive in finding high quality friends, changing up habits once in a while. I prefer to be a low profile person in all aspects of life wherever possible.
What I don’t do: bars, clubs, partying, 420, drugs, alcohol, coffee, video games, meaningless entertainment/pleasure, high quantities of shallow friendships based on cliques/insecurity/fear of being alone, keeping up with the joneses, materialism, modern self-centered values, tattoos, piercings, posting on social media, addicted to phone (to the point of being in social situations and constantly on the phone and not even talking to anyone), selfies
-Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm; Proverbs 13:20
-When we get old, we measure our life based on love, not money, status, power, fame, or likes
I’m love-driven, wholesome, loyal, trustworthy, mildly old-fashioned, hopeless romantic, kind, family-oriented – so definitely looking to have biological kids, probably not adopted. Would prefer a Christian aged 18-29 with traditional values, a good heart, kind, chastity, selfless, virtuous character that has saved themselves for marriage. The one that wants to be in one of those marriages that happily last 50 years and has the growth/beginners mindset necessary to become the person to do so. If we can respect and trust each other, then that is a solid foundation to start on. Very few people have the patience, humility, responsibility, and self-sacrifice needed to be in a marriage that goes to old age in our generation now. I hope to be the exception and find one too; hence why I’m making this post(s).
Through my experience in dating, reading, learning from others, I have some other criteria that I didn’t list here that if interested we can message about.
Not a fan of social media.
If you made it this far then some common values might be shared. I'm deciding to reluctantly leave a link to a photo of myself here as looks do play some part https://imgur.com/a/8f74Pq2

I don’t think Luke Thompson is unattractive, but I don’t see Benedict as a heartthrob at ALL. I think he’s likeable and his plotlines interest me, but that’s about it . As of S2/3 (promo) Benedict looks like he should have been casted to play a love interest for Violet Bridgerton. I can’t see what everyone sees when they say they can’t imagine how they’re going to give him the lead glow up, and I have yet to see anyone share my opinion online. That was my truth. I can go to sleep knowing peace now that I have shared this. 💜

You’d be happy to know that despite my best efforts to label you as the reason I was stressed, I was wrong.
You’d be happy to know I haven’t thought of you in 30 seconds.
You’d be happy to know I broke that streak.
You’d be happy to know that I’m a donor.
You’d be happy to know I haven’t had a cigarette in 109 days.
You’d be happy to know I sleep better.
You’d be happy to know I dream of you more.
You’d be happy to know I cry about her every day.
You’d be happy to know I’ve kept her things for you, just in case.
You’d be happy to know that I don’t look for you in everything like I used to. I see you in everything. You’ve given me an interest in architecture. You’ve given me an idea of what I want my children to be like, how I’d like for them to be raised. With that gentle, caring and compassionate demeanor. The same way you’d raised her. God she was so good, wasn’t she? She was good because you’re so good.
I meant for this to be a poem of sorts, but I’m tired of speaking so vaguely. I’m tired of trying to think of clever little signs to leave you, that only you would understand.
I just want to say how I feel.
It’s hard to believe that someone with so much goodness, just this genuine kindness, can truly exist in such a world. I avoid all of it, because it hurts so much to know that it can be so cruel. But you show it just how much sun there is to shine.
You and her both.
I’ll miss her for the rest of my life.
But I don’t have to miss you forever. You and I can still figure it out.
I hope we do. I hope you’ll visit someday.
I really need your guidance right now. I’m sorry again, that it took me so long to realize what was going on in my head.
It’s funny, how people like me can be mistook the way we are because of how we register social situations. Or like, our inability to register social cues the same way.
I laugh sometimes, about the instances in which I can remember people looking at me funny after I’d talked. LOL.
Good thing I don’t experience embarrassment, eh?
I like myself, regardless of what others honk I am supposed to be. But I’d truly love myself if I never let you go.
How could I be so reactionary? So stupid?
Where was this level headedness when I had you?
I know I keep saying “last one”, but I’ll probably spend a good amount of time writing to you. Even when you’re right next to me, sleeping off the night before.
Forever and always, Yours.

Hello guys, so I got my first ever cat a week ago and he is amazing but… he’s breaking my heart. Sorry if that’s dramatic.
We will hang out and play and he will sometimes even lick my hand and curl up next to me and fall asleep. Sometimes he falls asleep on my lap.
But I’ve noticed he also ignores me and hides from me at times? Like I will go to hang out with him and he will flinch and back up when I try and pet him and then he hides under the sofa like he is scared of me? And this hurts me so bad!
Then within an hour he will emerge and act like nothing happened?
What is happening to my cat? Pls help

My husband (25M) and I (26F) have not been active for 3 years now and my TBM parents are the “don’t ask don’t tell” type of people. They’re well aware we went inactive. I keep my opinions to myself to keep the peace.
My husband and I are going to a concert in Vegas in three weeks, and when we bought the tickets I asked my parents if they’d be interested in watching our kids (3F) “Jane” and (7monthM) “John”. They watch the kids here and there since we live in the same city. They’re great grandparents and I trust them fully. They’ve only done an overnighter once with Jane when we had John.
Anyway, tonight I was visiting them at their house and brought up the concert to make sure watching them overnight still works.
They reassured me that they’re happy to and realized it’s a Saturday-Sunday. My dad said they’ll need to get a substitute for their sunday school class. My mom then said, “Having John will be fine but ya, I’m not sure if Jane will be fine going to nursery.”
Y’all - I was so dumbfounded I didn’t even know what to say. My daughter has not once been to nursery ever. The idea of ditching her in a stinky room with strangers who quite frankly aren’t trained and who I personally don’t know whatsoever is baffling to me. And I really am shocked my parents wouldn’t think to even ask me if I’m ok with it. My kids go to daycare, so Jane is familiar with the concept but why on earth would I think it’s fine to leave her alone with people my parents probably don’t even know?!?! At least daycare teachers are trained professionals.
My parents will seriously have them for a 24 hour period. Like, you can’t just skip church for one day to have a relaxing time with your grandkids??
Rant over. Sorry if this comes off as entitled. I’m grateful they’re willing to take them overnight so my husband and I can see Avril Lavigne LOL. But damn. Should’ve seen if my inactive in-laws wanted to take the kids I guess.

My husband (25M) and I (26F) have not been active for 3 years now and my TBM parents are the “don’t ask don’t tell” type of people. They’re well aware we went inactive. I keep my opinions to myself to keep the peace.
My husband and I are going to a concert in Vegas in three weeks, and when we bought the tickets I asked my parents if they’d be interested in watching our kids (3F) “Jane” and (7monthM) “John”. They watch the kids here and there since we live in the same city. They’re great grandparents and I trust them fully. They’ve only done an overnighter once with Jane when we had John.
Anyway, tonight I was visiting them at their house and brought up the concert to make sure watching them overnight still works.
They reassured me that they’re happy to and realized it’s a Saturday-Sunday. My dad said they’ll need to get a substitute for their sunday school class. My mom then said, “Having John will be fine but ya, I’m not sure if Jane will be fine going to nursery.”
Y’all - I was so dumbfounded I didn’t even know what to say. My daughter has not once been to nursery ever. The idea of ditching her in a stinky room with strangers who quite frankly aren’t trained and who I personally don’t know whatsoever is baffling to me. And I really am shocked my parents wouldn’t think to even ask me if I’m ok with it. My kids go to daycare, so Jane is familiar with the concept but why on earth would I think it’s fine to leave her alone with people my parents probably don’t even know?!?! At least daycare teachers are trained professionals.
My parents will seriously have them for a 24 hour period. Like, you can’t just skip church for one day to have a relaxing time with your grandkids??
Rant over. Sorry if this comes off as entitled. I’m grateful they’re willing to take them overnight so my husband and I can see Avril Lavigne LOL. But damn. Should’ve seen if my inactive in-laws wanted to take the kids I guess.

This is more so about an event that happened a month ago but the crushing weight of it all has set in and I want to use it as a precautionary tale for anyone else in the future. Apologies for the ramble/length of it in advance.
I had gotten into my dream program for my discipline but I was mentally and spiritually not ready. Once I received the offer in February, I was excited but it slowly turned into a deep fear and distain to the point of my chest hurting, incessant headaches, getting regular heart palpitations. My discipline is (or was) computational biology and I had begun to sow seeds of doubt/overthinking in my applications during the winter before. I somehow slowly began to convince myself I’d never amount to any great phd student and my work would be worthless and terrible if I even tried. I ruminated unendingly, stressed unendingly of having forgotten how to code and would never love it again, and that my masters and undergrad theses that I had worked incessantly on in undergrad and masters school were all worthless and built off of the work of others rather than anything I was actually proud of. I didn’t want to acknowledge I was capable, I convinced myself I hated what I accomplished and I’d be miserable if I tried to find joy in what I did again.
During my visits to the most beautiful campus I’d dreamed of for so long, I felt a deep pit of hate towards what I’d do if I was there and that I’d be slaving away for nothing useful for anyone. I dissociated during my interviews with the faculty during the visit, only thinking about how this wouldn’t work out, giving my spiel about my research, and feeling pained whenever they complimented me on how impressed they were with my application. I was angered constantly by how happy the PhD students were with their quality of life. I asked them questions like “how often do you work 12 hour days alone? How do you manage depression with your work? ” I explained how I worked for two years in isolation in a basement lab on two separate 200 page theses in the span of two years on top of some pubs in undergrad and was wondering if there was any similar sense of stress and loneliness. They looked confused.
This pain morphed into a warped idea of: “I’d be bettemore useful being a doctor instead because at least I could help people and the work load wouldn’t be as stressful. It’s more stable and sounds easier! I’ve shadowed a few times, I could do that! Looks fun!”
I got obsessed with analyzing the volatility of my industry and the way contributing to this science would be terrible for humanity. That AI would displace the coding jobs, that there were too many PhDs in the world and not enough MDs. I convinced myself I hated coding. I convinced myself I hated doing science.
The PI who was interested in me was so excited to work with me, I was excited to work with him but my doubt and fear mounted everyday and I increasingly convinced myself it wouldn’t be good for me to do this and I needed to be a doctor instead. The idea that I was taking up space from people who actually wanted this spot became a mounting burden mentally as well.
Up to this point, the whole year I’d been living at home with my parents with no friends so the mounting depression and loneliness led to excessive rumination on how I needed to not do the PhD.
Then the April 15 deadline. I didn’t press accept or deny. I pressed back and forth between the two options on the portal, then the timer ran out. And it all set in what I had done.
Instead of the relief and calm I hoped for once it ran out, I was met only with a deep sense of grief and despair. I informed the PI who was interested in me about what happened and he immediately called my phone. I explained how I just couldn’t at this time, that I just had too many doubts. He told me “it sounds like you just have imposter syndrome, in my 30years I hadn’t seen an applicant at your level for a while, I think you’d be a great scientist, if you still are interested we can get you in.” Then it finally set in. I am a scientist, i need to create knowledge, I just had developed an unhealthy relationship with my work in the past and had distorted who I actually am through endless rumination.
In the end, I didn’t get in. The whole dept understood my situation and were willing to still accept but the head of the grad school said no. Nothing could be done after the deadline. The program wants me to reapply next year as they really loved my application but now Im honestly just trying to figure out if I’ll ever even get in again in a year and whether I should give up at this point.
Don’t let the your thoughts on why things won’t work out dictate how it can work out for you. You don’t have to know everything or be completely competent in all the disciplines entering in. Doing a PhD is about being trained to figure that out. I have to learn to forgive myself for denying myself the opportunity to try.

Now that we know production is underway for season 3, let’s get amped up by sharing what songs we hope to hear on this season’s soundtrack!
Here are a few of mine:
-Asaf Avidan “Different Pulses”
-Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds “Red Right Hand”
-Angus & Julia Stone “Black Crow”
-The Cure “Disintegration”
-Fever Ray “If I Had a Heart”
-Iron & Wine “The Trapeze Swinger”
-Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Maps”
-Veruca Salt “Volcano Girls”
-Lera Lynn “My Least Favorite Life”
-would love some Dresden Dolls on there (hard to choose, maybe Missed Me, Girl Anachronism, Half Jack, or Slide)
Other great choices would be some Sonic Youth, Pixies, Eels, Kate Bush, and Agnes Obel.
What do you hope to hear?