I’m relatively new to making noise music. I was gifted a small mixer for Christmas that I make feedback loops with using patch cables. So far I’ve plugged it into my laptop for recording. I wanna perform live soon and don’t want to blow out any speakers.
I have a small bass guitar practice amp that has a volume knob (as well as other knobs) and some inputs, as well as a speaker, all in one piece. I can’t control the volume of the noise using the mixer because the volume knobs just change the sound of the feedback loop, not the volume.
If I run feedback loops with my mixer. If I send one of the outputs (maybe the earphone output) to the input of my bass amp, will I be able to control the volume using the volume knob on the amp?
I’d assume so, but I read on this subreddit that it’s best to have a 3rd piece of equipment between your mixer and speaker to control the volume to avoid peaking. In my case, would the volume knob basically function as that 3rd piece of equipment controlling the volume?
Also, can you damage a mixer itself by running feedback loops? If so, how do you avoid this?
Thanks for your help!

I (26M) and gf (26F) has been together for over 4 years. We have no children and don’t live together. My mother is basically a single mother to me and my 3 sisters ages 18,11 &6. My mother currently unable to hold stable jobs because of some situations going on with her,so I sometimes help out. I live in Trinidad and all I’ve done for my mother and siblings since around Christmas was help out with about 350 USD (2700 in my currency). Which isn’t a crazy amount.
My girlfriend sent me this text months afterwards.THIS IS THE TEXT BELOW
A few times and both times on our anniversary you would’ve said that you would like to carry your mom out to the same place because she’d like it. I find it very unnatural and a bit uncomfortable that you taking an experience we had and transforming it into another experience that you either wish you had or that you want to have. You’ve done that on our both anniversaries or any other experience that we had really and I don’t really like the comparing thing it makes me feel like our experience was insignificant.
Also the thing with the pta meeting. That whole situation is unnatural to me. Ik that you are a good son and big brother but that whole acting like “them children” father is a bit too much. Ik you care and love them and I admire that really but you act like your only happiness comes from “fathering” them. It’s your mother’s responsibility and all you could do is help but the way you act as though you are their father. You also act like you trying to prove something and idk why you feel like that.
If you wondering why it feels unnatural to me it’s because when we had pregnancies scares or even when I talk about how everybody pregnant. You have such a bad reaction like that would be the worst situation. But you so happy to put your whole mental and financials on the line for them and if it’s me that would be so bad. Ik we not there yet it’s not about making no baby now it’s about your reaction and everything that comes after it. END OF TEXT
TL;DR:Girlfriend says the way I am with my family is unnatural and it seems like she’s jealous. It made me feel so confused as to where this came from.Its caused a rift between us and I can’t seem to let it go, even though she said it wasn’t an attack.

Hi all! I have been diving into the world of voxels recently and I have come to sort of a standstill.
First of all I tried to use Marching Cubes to get (semi) realistic looking terrain that players can edit but it mostly flew over my head, so I decided on good old cubes. (if I should revisit marching cubes, let me know)
My second attempt was... horrible to say the least, I don't even want to post the code because you could probably point out something wrong/inefficient with every line lol
My third attempt can be seen here: https://pastebin.com/DyzGX94N Not very efficient, overall not a good approach. Moving on!
However, my fourth/current attempt was actually more promising... until it wasnt. I had a 32x32x1024 chunk of voxels and up to 256 voxels from the ground were "solid" and not "null" voxels (null voxels in my code = air voxels)
I did have a problem where the top-left-corner of the voxel layer at 257 (first null layer) were solid, could not for the life of me figure out why.
Anyways, the code can be seen here: (its still very inefficient) https://pastebin.com/Y26qJEiv
It is WAY too CPU-heavy, blocking the game thread when its (supposed to be) running on a different thread, taking multiple seconds to build a chunk when editing voxels. It also messes up UV/face geometry (just writing this, I forgot that I have to take 4 away from every index in Chunk.Triangles to cover up the UV problem... but that would just add more CPU strain so I'm still sure my solution is not going in a good direction.)
I'm not really looking for an error list in my code, just generally asking: - How SHOULD voxel mesh data be stored? By-voxel or by-chunk? Guessing by-chunk. - How should chunks be updated? For instance, making a solid voxel -> air voxel. Do I re-build (recalculate triangles not just recreate the mesh itself) the entire chunk or just the voxel and its surroundings? - Any other feedback, resources, etc welcome
Thank you!

I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

DC Next Proudly Presents:

THE NEW TITANS

In Shadow of Kestrel
Issue Nine: War Dove
Written by AdamantAce, GemlinTheGremlin & PatrollinTheMojave
Edited by Deadislandman1 and Voidkiller826
 
Next Issue > Coming Next Month
 
 
“Raven!”
Slade’s gruff voice pierced through the deafening, wave-like roars in Raven’s head, but the rage was too much to bear. Her hands sizzled as hellfire danced in her palms, her body readying for another attack. She locked eyes with a reptilian soldier, dismounting his simian steed and charging on foot, but as she lunged forwards to strike him, she watched a man fly into her path. Slade Wilson caught the young Titan’s hand and pushed, throwing Raven backwards.
“Come on, kid, snap out of it!” But as Slade’s words fell on deaf ears, he felt the familiar sting of a fist to his jaw, a crack echoing in his ears. He recoiled from the attack but powered through his injury and stood his ground. Sinking his heels into the ground, he locked eyes with the girl before him. Her face seemed contorted and uncanny, as if all of the rage she was feeling was pouring out of her. She groaned angrily as she thrusted her head downwards, her forehead making contact with Slade’s teeth, before pulling her head back up again in preparation for another attack.
Before she could make one, however, one of the lizardmen had almost reached the warring duo’s sides, and as he lunged forward with his long spear, he made contact with Raven’s side. A small rip formed in the side of Raven’s outfit, which seemed to only anger her further. However, it did seem to distract her enough; Mar’i fired off a single Starbolt which struck only the ground - a warning shot.
“Raven! Please!” the half-Tamaranean cried out. But the Raven she knew was buried under unfathomable amounts of fury; she ignored her teammate’s call and instead flew forwards and swung out at the reptiloid. The strike glowed with red flame, sending the creature skidding across the floor, barely conscious. Slade spotted a flash of something else on her face, as if she was finally able to fight back against the endless rage - pain, perhaps, or anguish. But in an instant, it was gone.
That flicker of something other than white-hot anger was enough for Slade.
He clutched his side as his still open wound began to ache, the bandages feeling wet with fresh blood. His jaw felt crooked, and as he gritted his teeth, it felt as though they sat differently atop each other. And yet, he clutched his staff tightly in one hand, and with the other he beckoned to Raven.
“Kid, you’re fighting it, I know you are!” Slade felt his mouth filling with blood rather than saliva.
Within a moment, Raven’s attention was locked on the white-haired man once again. She fired bolt after bolt of black and red flame, but Slade was still dextrous despite his pain. He dodged and dived, weaving through the fire, until he finally managed to make contact with his opponent. He drove his staff into her chest and pushed his weight against the weapon, forcing her backwards. She rose into the air, a black mist pouring from her arms and over her face, a large ghostly corvid taking her place. He felt the deathly cold shadow of the bird’s wing fall over him, his feet leaving the ground as she scooped him into the air.
He looked down at the ground far beneath him. A fall from this height would kill anyone, he thought, let alone someone beaten half to death.
Then, as a verdant bolt of energy struck it in the side, Raven’s Soul Self shrieked and the shadows retreated inwards. Slade felt himself falling through the air for a second, then two, before he felt his back collide with something soft and cushioned. As he looked up, he met the gaze of Conner, who soared to the ground in an instant, placing the snow-haired man on the ground and giving a swift nod.
Raven let out a pained, frustrated yell as she returned to the ground, aided by a grappling line expertly positioned by Tim, and in response, Conner jetted off towards the sound of her cries. Slade’s feet faltered beneath him, and he stumbled to keep his balance. His breathing was laboured and his vision was becoming fuzzy. It felt as though, he realised, all the blood loss and violence he had suffered over the past few hours were finally catching up to him. Was this what dying felt like?
“Slade!” shouted a voice, followed by the dulled drumming of hurried footsteps. Slade pulled his hand across his face to wipe away the mental haze and drops of blood. It was Don, sprinting towards him. When Slade felt Don clasp him by shoulders, he realized just how slowed he was by his injuries. “Plan?” Slade coughed out.
“You’ve seen what she can do. I only see one way out of these without one of the kids getting hurt. I’d do it myself, but I’m out of practice and this is too important to leave to chance.” Don looked around anxiously, his face betraying that he had a lot on his mind. “I’m giving you the powers of a god.” Slade opened his mouth to ask a question, a million came to mind. He glanced across the battlefield. Through a blurry film, he saw Raven’s Soul Self bat Conner away with its wing. He careened into the trunk of a thick tree, uprooting it with a deep crunch. “Are you sure?,” Slade asked, breathless.
“I’m not losing another Titan.” Don squeezed his eyes shut. His grip on Slade tightened as pale, almost blinding light enveloped them. It felt warm. No, better than that: it felt peaceful. With his enhanced senses, Slade could hear his erratic heartbeat slow. Fleeting visions bubbled up in his mind, opening up his awareness beyond the wildest dreams of Project Veritas. He felt rivers of magical energy flowing through the air and earth. Each of them spiralled towards a depression. Towards Raven, he knew instinctively. Iridescent blue light spread outward from his shoulders. It washed over his body armor, bleaching the jet black panels until his entire body shone with radiance. The pain from wounds old and new faded, replaced by serenity - and power. Don opened his eyes again and sighed gently; a concoction and joy, relief, and quiet mourning.
“There,” Don remarked. Slade felt lighter, less angry, less burdened. He looked down at the iridescent light enveloping his body. Magical energy buzzed against the surface of his skin. “The powers of the Dove - officially yours.”
Slade sucked in a nervous breath. “Don…” Even rejuvenated, he was still lost for words.
“They’re yours now,” Don smiled weakly. “Now go earn them. There’s a Titan in dire need of our help.”
Conner floated out of the dense jungle, rubbing his forehead. “Is Slade glowing or do I have a concussion?”
Slade looked over at Raven. She seemed less erratic, her movements driven by her brain rather than her gut. Tim’s staff batted fiercely against her, each strike buffeting her back more and more, but it was clear to Slade that Raven was not any weaker physically - her mind, however, was another story.
Slade began marching towards her, the ache in his side dulled. “Raven. You’re strong. Fight this rage inside of you.” Raven glared at him, a spark of something in her eyes, as she swooped in towards him at top speed. As she neared him, however, Slade readied his staff, stretching it out in front of him. As the tip of the weapon struck Raven, a beam of white energy coursed through her, as if she had been struck by lightning, and her body was flung backwards across the dirt.
Slade danced a hand over his rifle, but something felt different. He pulled it into his hands and inspected it swiftly; nothing seemed out of order. Raven rose slowly from her supine position, snarling softly to herself. Her movements had slowed, the expression on her face becoming closer to horror than rage. She was doing it.
“You’re nearly there, kid,” Slade soothed, his words suddenly like butter. He watched Raven’s shoulders start to relax. “That’s it. Just fight this, Raven. You’re almost there.”
Despite her tremendous progress, Raven’s blistering fury won out once more, and she charged a large bolt of hellfire in her hands. Slade fiddled with his rifle and crossed his fingers. There was a standstill between the two. Slade analysed his rifle again; there was something different about the barrel, as if it had been swapped out for another similar model. The stock felt lighter, too, as if the weight had been–
Raven roared at him, swiping wildly with glowing fists, and in an instant Slade instinctively pulled the trigger.
What fired from the gun was not a silvery bullet, but a familiar glowing bolt of white light, cloud-like in appearance. As it struck Raven, she sucked in a deep breath, the energy engulfing her. Her face softened and her posture relaxed. Then she swung out for the man’s weakened side, his bandages poking through the aura of light. And yet, as he stayed steadfast, not even attempting to dodge the attack. Sparks flew from the point of contact. Slade just readied another shot and fired.
Her body swayed with the blow. Slade closed the gap between them and focused on the new warmth he felt, concentrating it into his staff as best he could. Then, as he held it out in front of him at arm’s length, he swiped at Raven and struck her in the side of the shoulder. Each blow seemed to be more effective than the last, but as Raven’s movements continued to slow, Slade held fire.
“You’re doing it, Raven,” Slade encouraged. He watched as the other Titans surrounded Raven, each of them ready for any further attacks. Everyone watched with bated breath as their teammate and friend thrashed and recoiled from the hit. Her breathing was rapid, although it felt closer to panic than unabashed fury. She clasped her hands over her head, groaning. Then, suddenly, she stopped.
Her face had softened completely, her jaw slack, and tears filled her vision. She looked up at Slade with a comfort in her eyes. The aura emanating from him was pervasive and contagious, and although she had felt lost in a sea of impossibly vast emotions, its warmth and comfort cut through. The anger was still there somewhat, the last remaining dregs still working its way out of her system, but the comfort, the peace that Slade was providing was the anchor for her to stabilise herself. She had only ever seen this kind of power when Don…
Raven’s eyes widened as she realised what that meant. She collapsed to her knees, suddenly feeling the bone-deep fatigue her rage had suppressed. Her teammates rushed in around her. Mar’i dropped to a knee by her side and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s OK. You’re safe. Everyone’s OK.”
“Don I’m—” She wiped away a stream of tears, stumbling her way out of the emotional vortex she’d been sucked into. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I’ve lost control before, but never like this.”
Don looked older. Creases ran across his forehead and around his eyes. His smile hadn’t changed. “Raven, my brother and I got those powers when I was a kid. We didn’t ask for them. We weren’t ready for them. We didn’t know how to use them, let alone control them.” He laughed dryly, recalling Hank. “I don’t regret anything. Giving my powers to Slade is the best thing I’ve done with them in years. I know Hank would feel the same way.”
In the moment of silence that followed, Raven rose to her feet and pulled her cloak tightly around herself. She was still shaking. Tim’s eyes drifted from her to Slade. “Something’s gnawing at me. Kestrel’s powers are weakened in Skartaris. Don’s…” He coughed, “Slade’s powers are amplified. If this place is what affected you—”
Mar’i’s face flashed with recognition, “—your powers must be tied to the Lords of Order and Chaos!”
Tim furrowed his brow. “Maybe.” He hardly had time to consider further when a thundering crack tore open the sky. Two bolts of swirling energy - one red and one blue - met above them, forming a swirling portal at their vertex. The Titans readied their weapons, expecting the worst.
“It’s them.” Slade murmured, still put off by his uncanny awareness. Terataya and T’Charr descended from the sky, one wreathed in mist, the other, magma. The two elementals stopped a few feet above the ground, hovering.
Terataya was the first to speak. Even at a whisper, her voice reverberated through the air. “I don’t usually care for surprises, Don, but this was a pleasant one.” A thin smile appeared on her face.
“Slade Wilson.” Terataya’s neck turned at an unnatural angle to face him. “You wield the powers of Order with great skill. Who understands the dangers of unchecked War better than a soldier. Become my champion. Protect the balance.”
Slade took a step back, then glanced at Don.
“She’s right.” Don said, with only a hint of hesitation. “It took me years to use the powers like you used them today. You’re a natural.”
Slade looked at his hands, still gently pulsing with pale blue light. “Thanks.” He allowed himself a weak smile. “But no thanks.”
“What.” T’Charr’s voice boomed.
“It doesn’t take Zatanna to realize an old soldier like me makes a piss-poor Avatar of Peace. I fight for a living, and I’m not deluded enough to think that makes me good at anything but fighting. If you want someone who understands the need for balance, Don just sacrificed everything special about him for it.”
Don raised an eyebrow. “None taken.”
“His actions today were noble, but they do not make up for years spent squandering the gift.”
“Squandering? The Titans wouldn’t exist today if he hadn’t pulled them together. Everything they’ve done. Everything they’ve achieved for your balance wouldn’t have happened without him, including stopping that monster you made.”
“Watch your tone, mortal.” T’Charr threatened.
“There may be a vein of truth to his words, lover.” Terataya said. “But *if we were to restore Don Hall’s power, we would need assurances. His indecision led down this path.”*
Rocks ground against each other as T’Charr landed beside Don. “You would have weeks, not years, to select a counterpart and return to your duties.”
Don’s response was instantaneous. “I’ve made a decision.”
“You’ve decided if you’ll take up the mantle of Dove again?”
Don nodded. “And who should be the new Hawk.”
Terataya giggled. “Full of surprises today. T’Charr?”
“We should discuss this.” He said. “In private.”
The three of them vanished, leaving the Titans and Slade alone on a battlefield riddled with bits of dino meat and ape fur.
 
○○ Ⓣ ○○
 
“You don’t think they’re gonna come back in like, 200 years, right?” Conner asked. He sat beside the depowered Slade Wilson, who was downing aspirin to make up for the sudden deficit in peace energy.
“I don’t know.” Tim said. “But we should give them more than fifteen minutes.”
As if on cue, the skies opened again. Again, the chromatic energy lit the sky and again a portal opened its swirling maw. This time, however, it wasn’t two elemental Lords to descend. Raven squinted to make the figures out.
“Oh my god.” Conner said, having a far easier time with his super-vision.
“What? Who is it?” Tim asked.
“Donna!” Mar’i shouted. She shot off the ground towards her. Her black combat armor was replaced with a crimson and white bodysuit studded with stars that seemed to twinkle as the light shifted around her. The sword at her side was gone too, replaced with a coiled loop of rope suffused with the same brilliant energy. The two collided into an embrace, spinning through the air as they held each other tightly.
Don was the first to land, restored with the powers of Dove. He looked stronger than ever, and maybe more importantly, happier. Even Tim’s typical thoughtful brooding has been pierced by an unimpeachable joy.
“I don’t understand,.” Raven said. “S-She’s alive. How is this possible?”
“I knew there was only one person who could be trusted with the powers of War, with Hank’s abilities.” He scratched the back of his neck, a bit guilty. “And she’d been staring me in the face for years. It took some doing, but eventually T’Charr and Terataya saw that too.”
Donna landed beside him, Mar’i only a step behind. By now Conner had stepped forward. He tried not to choke over his words. “I’m sorry. If I’d—”
Donna didn’t let him get the words out before pulling him into a grapple-turned-hug that quickly grew as the rest of the team piled in. Slade flicked another aspirin into his mouth.
“Danyah!” A voice called out from over the ridge. It was Travis, mounted atop a fanged reptilian creature in the vague shape of a horse and flanked on either side by his gold-armored honor guard. He broke into a gallop, stopping just short of the Titans. “When I saw the skies, I feared the worst. Is it really you? Has sorcery brought you back to us?”
“It’s me, Travis. A Lord of Chaos brought me back.”
“Not to interrupt,.” Slade said, still nursing his wounds. “But did either of you ask them to bring us back to Chicago?”
“I…” Don grimaced. “Donna, how do we get home?”
“How did you get here? Surely you could return the way you came.” Travis said.
“No, we can’t.” Tim said, pressing a few buttons on his wrist’s holographic display. “Whatever magic pervades Skartaris is also causing some extreme time dilation. I can’t guarantee we’d return to the 21st century, or even to Earth.”
“I spent a decade in Skartaris and returned to Earth nearly two centuries later. It’s the influence of Chaos. We’d need a Skartaran mage of overwhelming power to stabilize our return.” She spat the word mage with disgust. Travis’s expression seemed to confirm the reputation of Skartaran spellcasters.
Before their anxiety could spiral, the sky above began to churn. Moments later, the ground shook as a violent bolt of lightning cleaved the air, striking with such ferocity that all but Conner and Donna were flung backward. Mar'i skidded across the damp undergrowth, her senses overwhelmed by the acrid scent of ozone. Her mind was racing; their victory was hard fought, and she doubted they had much left in the tank for another confrontation. She dug her hands into the ground and pushed herself up as she choked from the smell. The Warlord Morgan and his military guards snapped to attention, forming a protective ring around the crater that now marred the earth.
From the smoking pit, a figure rose, unfolding from a crouch like something out of Terminator. Adorned in a red and white jumpsuit that accentuated his lithe build, the young man's appearance was marked by a red cowl and goggles, with sandy brown hair rebelliously spilling out.
Conner squinted through the dissipating smoke, murmuring under his breath, “A speedster?” The Flashes had had a variety of different sidekicks and other allies over the years, but none of them recognised this one
With a nonchalant flair that seemed at odds with the charged atmosphere, the newcomer greeted them. “Hey, everyone chillax. I'm here to get you guys back home.”
Donna, ever the leader, stepped forward and spoke with a commanding curiosity, now emboldened with the war aura of Hawk. “And who are you exactly? Why should we trust you with such a claim?”
Flashing a cheeky grin, he tilted his head and responded, “Well, I’m a speedster for one. Name’s Impulse. If I run fast enough, then I can… well, I guess bend time.”
Behind Donna, the group exchanged sceptical glances. Raven's face remained shadowed by recovery, Mar'i and Conner braced for action, and Tim discretely checked his gadgets, no doubt for something that he could use on a speedster should the need arise.
“Yeah, we figured that much,” Don cut through the tension, his voice calm yet insistent. “Who sent you?”
Impulse chuckled, his demeanour remaining unfazed by their scrutiny. “Look, the details aren't the fun part. Trust me, I can get us back.”
As a silence thick with doubt and scepticism settled over the group, Impulse seemed to realise his casual assurances weren't sufficient. With a theatrical sigh, he reached up and removed his mask, revealing a face familiar to both Mar'i and Raven.
“Brody!?” Mar'i exclaimed, her surprise echoing through the clearing as she stared at the boy who had once hobbled through their college classes with his leg in a cast.
The young man’s grin widened, his eyes sparkling with mischief and a hint of pride. “Actually, it’s Bart.”
 
○○ Ⓣ ○○
 
When Slade emerged from the shower, his skin was glistening with moisture, the water tracing the contours of his scars. He wrapped a stark white towel around his waist, and crossed the plush carpet to sit on the edge of the hotel room bed. He released a slow, deep breath; it was a good job the speedster kid arrived when he did. The notion of being stranded in an alien land or, worse, a different time had gnawed at him with a ferocity that was hard to admit. Without Bart’s intervention, every one of Slade’s meticulously crafted plans would have been utterly dashed.
Facing him, a wall-mounted mirror caught his rugged reflection. Drawn to his own image, Slade studied the scars that mapped his trials, the slick white hair that crowned his head, and the deep lines etched into his face. A familiar discomfort nagged at him, focusing his attention on his right eye. Unable to alleviate the irritation through the skin, Slade exhaled heavily and carefully removed the eye altogether. The movement, fluid and practised, spoke of years of adaptation.
He placed the prosthetic gently on the bed beside him and as he massaged the socket, a decades-old habit, his mind wandered. He wasn't accustomed to keeping the prosthetic in for extended periods. Showering with it had been an uncomfortable experiment in necessity - he didn't like it, but understood the importance of maintaining the facade. The Slade he would have people believe he was would have never lost an eye, because that Slade had led a life far from by the darker paths Slade had truthfully trodden.
His thoughts wandered to his brief time wielding the potent powers of Dove, and Slade felt a twinge of regret at their loss. The clarity and strength those powers had provided were intoxicating, yet he recognised that he had a more important goal, one he couldn’t compromise. His current role demanded not the accumulation of power but the perfection of his deceit, ensuring that all believed he was not the Slade Wilson they knew, but a Reawakened, more innocent doppelganger.
Now, with the glass eye resting beside him, Slade stared at his unmasked visage. Maintaining the myth of the noble Slade was critical. The ruthless mercenary, the World’s Deadliest Killer - those identities had to remain buried. The Titans had believed him enough to entrust him with divine powers, their faith a testament to his performance, but the game was far from over; in fact, it was entering its most critical phase.
 
 
Next: Return to normality in The New Titans #10
 

Spoilers ahead…
Dear Karthik Subbaraj,
Congratulations on yet another interesting movie, and for resisting the impulse to name this one, too, after a food item. Iraivi is an unusual feminist film, in the sense that it’s seen entirely through the prism of sympathetic male characters. Your men aren’t monsters who drink or cheat on their wives or subject them to torture. They do these things, yes, but… differently. Arul (SJ Surya) drinks, but only to drown out his sense of failure – he’s a director and his film is in the cans, being held hostage by a sadistic producer. Michael (Vijay Sethupathi) has sex with Malarvizhi (Pooja Devariya), and he continues to lust after her after his marriage to Ponni (Anjali) – I love that all your women have names that suggest classical heroines, including Arul’s wife Yazhini (Kamalini Mukherjee) – but it’s a marriage he committed to in a hurry and he still hasn’t reconciled himself to it. He’s being a bastard, certainly, but he’s not a one-note villain. And the torture they inflict isn’t the stubbing-a-cigarette-into-the-wife’s-bare-arm variety. It’s more mental than physical.
So we get women who are collateral damage – and I include Arul’s comatose mother (Vadivukkarasi), and the nurse who’s not allowed to do her duty – of men being men. They’re being babies, really. Yazhini tells Arul that he should get on with his life, write another story, make another movie. He says it’s like her trying to have another child while still pregnant with their daughter. (Yes, all these men end up with girl children.) He’s a wallower – but maybe all artists are. You like to do that, don’t you Karthik? Even in a film like this, you deliver a commentary about filmmaking and the artist. Why, even Arul’s father is a sculptor, and though we never see him ill-treating his wife (thank you for sparing us the clichés of raised hands and raised voices), we’re informed that he’s responsible for her state. His son’s following the father’s footsteps. Maybe you’re trying to say that the wives of obsessed artists are doomed to become collateral damage. Your films make us think, Karthik, so thank you for that.
All your stories have at their centre a filmmaker, or at least (in the case of your first film, Pizza) a storyteller. And through them, we seem to hear your voice. “Works of art should not be in places where they are not respected.” “Namma padam pesanum, naama pesa koodadhu.” You compare masala movies to a massage with a happy ending. (I laughed, but please don’t judge me when I say I rather like massages with happy endings – I refer to masala movies, of course.) We even get a line of dialogue about Dolby Atmos. (What will the B/C-centre audience make of this, Karthik? But then you don’t really give a shit, do you? More power to you.) And you like your insider jokes. That crass, egoistic producer who does not care about art – he reminded me of the crass producer from your earlier film, Jigarthanda. You like Rajinikanth too. You referenced Thillu Mullu in Pizza, Thalapathi in Jigarthanda, and now you have Arul singing Malayala karayoram, Michael singing Oorai therinjikitten.
Or is that more of an Ilayaraja homage? You like to keep the audience guessing, right? When the Bobby Simha character in Jigarthanda said he was a Shankar-Ganesh fan, it appeared that you were mocking the endless Ilayaraja nods in Tamil cinema, but here you are, doffing your hat to the maestro. “Raja Raja dhaan.” Arul says this… twice. (By the way, which is that nightclub which plays Maanguyile poonguyile? Do let us know.) And the reuse of Unnai thaane – first in a scene between Michael and Malarvizhi; later in a scene between Michael and Ponni – is the kind of Easter egg we come to your films for. Let me list some others, though I’ll probably need to watch the film a second (or third) time to get them all. The name of the bachelors’ quarters is Ambal Mansion – it goes with your theme and title. I didn’t get the bit about the windmills (something connected to the gust of wind that makes the row of cycles fall over in the first scene?), or why you showcased the book of Shanta Shishunala Sharif’s poems. (I confess. I Googled up that name. I can’t remember the last time a Tamil film made me Google something up. Madras, maybe.) And despite your note at the beginning that Iraivi is inspired by the works of K Balachander (he made female-centric films, but I don’t know if I’d call them feminist films), this is really more of an ode to Mani Ratnam, isn’t it? Specifically, Aayidha Ezhuthu. The three men, one of them – the impulsive one – named Michael. The film starting out as Arul’s story, then becoming Michael’s story, and finally Jagan’s (Bobby Simha) story. The finale with the woman on the train. Plus, the arc of the Madhavan-Meera Jasmine plot was essentially about being easily misled (in the case of the man) and becoming collateral damage (in the case of the woman.) And yes, the rain. All that rain. As though the skies were weeping for these women.
Am I digressing, Karthik? If I am, I’m just following your style, which is the opposite of simple and linear. As a result, I find your films longer than they need to be. (You may feel the same about my reviews.) For instance, I did not care for the scene in the nightclub where a director is felicitated. I realise it was there as a last straw for Yazhini, but it felt redundant. But I suppose they couldn’t be any other way, because you like these shaggy-dog stories that you then embellish with novelistic detail. I love the way you introduce your characters, the time you take with them. Our films lay out characters and their relationship to each other the minute we set eyes on them, but you make us wait to know how Arul is related to Jagan and where Michael fits in and so on. And when it appeared that a semblance of a plot was kicking in (something about Arul needing money to buy back his film), I dug out my phone and checked: it was a whole hour into the movie. Borrowing an image from Malarvizhi’s profession (oh wait, she’s an artist too; she’s literally an artist), it’s like daubs of paint slowly forming a bigger picture.
And you really like an expansive canvas. Not only does the crass producer have a brother, you also bring in his wife later on, to conclude a deal he began making. These segments practically form a mini-movie, with another woman left reeling by the actions of her man. Your films have this… density. They’re packed – with characters, with complications, with information doled out in bits and pieces. (A character says, “Un kitta onnu sollanum.” And instead of hearing what he has to say, we cut to someone else.) Take the scene where Michael asks Arul for money he is owed. You just need to get Michael to Arul’s antiques shop, so the next part of the plot can be staged. Arul could have told Michael to collect the money at the shop. Instead, this is what we get. Arul tells Michael to wait for a week, when he can get the 50 lakhs he is owed. Michael says he wants only 10 lakhs. Arul says he has only 8 lakhs, he’ll give the remainder later. Michael goes to Arul’s father, in the hospital. He has only 5 lakhs. And he directs Michael to the shop, to get the remaining 3 lakhs. Your signature intercutting adds to this texture, Karthik. Shots of Michael and Arul’s father in the hospital are intercut with shots of Arul hunting for booze. Shots of Michael and Jagan outside a courtroom are intercut with shots of Arul being consoled by his father. Happenings are stretched and meshed the way they would be in real life, and not compacted according to the page-per-minute requirement of screenplay-writing textbooks.
I could never predict where the film was going (win!), what these people were going to do (again, win!) –though I must admit I found this to be the weakest of your “twists.” The subplot about stealing sculptures, too, I found rather conceit-y, something half-heartedly cooked up to fit with the title and the theme, rather than something plausible, something these people would do. When Michael, here, commits murder, with a hammer, I went, “This mild-mannered chap? Really?” But then, even in Jigarthanda, I wasn’t quite convinced that the characters would do the things they did. They seemed to be puppets of a screenplay rather than credible human beings, whose actions evolve organically from who they are (or at least, who they seem to be).
But even if I am not convinced by the overall trajectory of your characters, I love how fleshed-out they are on a moment-to-moment basis. I loved the scene where Arul barges into Yazhini’s house, after their separation, on the day of her engagement to someone else. In a lesser film, she would have asked him to get out, and he’d have dug his heels in, and she’d have cooled down and… But here, she rushes straight into his arms. And you make us see why. She was frustrated, fed up with him. But she’s also confused. Was she hasty in abandoning this man? Should she move on with another man? Does she even need a man? With just this one scene, you’ve compensated for the underwritten heroine of Jigarthanda. The story arc may be Arul’s, but Yazhini registers as a fully formed character. Similarly, Michael’s arc allows for the delineation of Ponni and Malarvizhi, and through Jagan, we get glimpses of his mother, and possibly of all womanhood as viewed by a compassionate man. And then you say that women don’t need even this compassionate man (poor chap!), that they have to emancipate themselves instead of looking for a penis-wielding emancipator. What delicious irony, given that you begin the film with women talking about marriage, tying themselves to a man!
Or not, in the case of Malarvizhi, who is easily the film’s most interesting character. Her husband is dead, and she doesn’t want love anymore – only sex. When Michael buys her a diamond necklace, she gives it back to him – she can buy her own trinkets, thank you very much. But the character feels shoe-horned into the film, Karthik. I felt betrayed – and I bet she did too – that after a point, she was used simply as a plot device to get Michael and Ponni together, and also to illustrate Michael’s (who is now standing in for all of mankind) hypocrisy. I felt she deserved more. And yet, I appreciated your generosity in fleshing her out like all the others, without judging her. She gets to be the rare woman in Tamil cinema who dumps the man, and the way she lets go of Michael is echoed in the way Arul lets go of Yazhini, with a heavy heart and some playacting. A side effect of the Malarvizhi subplot is the reassurance that Vijay Sethupathi is still interested in making cinema, rather than just massy entertainers targeted at the box office.
Ponni gets a better deal (and Anjali is terrific, raw and expressive in a way she has never been). In a great scene – rather, a set of book-ending scenes – Michael tells Ponni that he was forced to marry her, and she’s going to have to “adjust” to this if she wants to be with him. Much later, she throws the “adjust” word back on his bearded face when he asks her if she slept with someone else. In a different kind of movie, we’d be invited to see this symmetry, stand up and applaud. But you’re too subtle for that, Karthik. Iraivi is your subtlest film. Which is why I winced at the melodramatic lines about men and women, most of which came towards the end. Aan, using the long-sounding vowel, versus penn, with the shorter one – for such a visual filmmaker (this is another outstandingly shot film, less showy than Jigarthanda and probably richer for that), do you really need the crutch of linguistic special effects from another era of filmmaking? Also, when the rest of your film is so allusive, isn’t there another way you can explain the twist without having a character resort to such an inelegant information dump?
And why is it that your films come together more in the head than in the heart? Why are they easier to admire than love wholeheartedly? I used to think it was because your characters are essentially deceitful, self-serving and unsympathetic, so though we were invested in what they did, we didn’t really warm up to them. But here, you have Ponni and Yazhini and Malarvizhi – and they’re still remote. But perhaps this is bound to happen when there are so many people, so many strands, when we don’t follow one person’s simplistic “you go, girl” journey like we do in, say, 36 Vayadhinile? But when the parts are so well-crafted, we don’t complain as much about their sum not adding up to a satisfying whole. I am sure that you will, one day, make that wholly satisfying film, but for now, thank you for these parts. Thank you for the ambition. I felt there were too many songs (some good work by Santhosh Narayanan), but thank you for ensuring that they don’t break character, the way songs usually do when a character speaking in his or her voice suddenly segues into the playback singer’s voice. Thank you for giving us SJ Surya, the actor – I never dreamed he had such a capacity to hold a scene, to hold the screen. Thank you for continuing not to sell out. Thank you for trying to do so much, even if not all of it needed to have been tried. And thank you for making me fight with myself, for not making it easy to decide if you’ve made a “good” film or a merely “okay” film. For now, Iraivi is a fascinating film, and that’s enough.
Sincerely, etc.

I just want to start off by saying that any judgement to this post is unwelcome, because I have already gone through every emotion and self-judgement possible. For the sake of the story and staying anonymous, My best friend’s name will be Hannah and my boyfriend’s name will be Lucas.
Hannah and I were friends for about 2 years. I was never as close with Lucas as I was with her, but we were friends, talked sometimes and played games together in groups. Hannah and I talked everyday, had an awesome friendship and related on many subjects.
She had always struggled with her mental health. She had an abusive family and talked about committing suicide just about everyday, in the joking way that everyone does, so unfortunately everyone in her life had looked past it. I had spent countess hours comforting her, but her support that she needed from her family and professionally just wasn’t there. In late 2022, she ended up committing suicide.
I was horrified. Spent months crying in my room, barely eating, looking at old messages and photos between me and her wondering how the hell I missed the signs. I even reached out to her family, whom I’ve never talked to before, and sent condolences.
The one who told me that Hannah had passed away that night, was her boyfriend, Lucas. Even though I was feeling everything I was, I couldn’t help but feel even worse for him, because I just couldn’t fathom imagining my first girlfriend of 1 year killing herself, and the police showing up to the door to tell you.
I was there for him in the following months more than I was for myself. I never used to talk to him frequently, but we were there for each other, comforting each other through texts and calls everyday. Reminding each other to eat and drink water. Talking about how much we missed her, how we couldn’t fathom the fact she was actually gone forever, and all the pain and regrets that come with losing someone. Him and I knew her the best, and were closest with her, so we understood each other perfectly.
From what was once acquaintances turned into close friends, throughout the entirety of 2023. Lucas and I were both going through hell when it came to love, because I had just left an extremely toxic and abusive relationship, and he had lost his girlfriend to suicide. We found ourselves relating to the struggle of feeling like we could never love anyone again. We helped each other heal through this.
Then comes November 2023, and suddenly what was close friends was turning into a… “situation”. Very flirty undertones in our texts and speech. Sending each other couples posts. Basically everything we could say to each other but pass off as “oh, but in a friend way”, we were doing. That month felt very slow-burn-like. He even sent me handwritten letters and packages, filled with gifts and treats. Ordering me food regularly and loving to see me happy. The day after Christmas, Lucas confessed that he had feelings for me, and that I had “sparked feelings in him that he never thought he could feel again.” I couldn’t help but feel the same.
I went through a lot of guilt at this point for feeling this way. Wondered often if the only reason he had those feelings for me, was only because I reminded him of Hannah. But I am very confrontational, and wasn’t afraid to talk that out with him. He told me what he saw in me was completely new, and that the more he talked to me over the year, the more he grew to love me for me.
Ever since, we have had the most healthy and beautiful relationship. Lucas is the most understanding and caring man I’ve ever met in my life, and he’s absolutely everything I could hope for in a partner.
It’s also worth mentioning that being with him has helped me improve myself as a human being. I was in the same boat as Hannah before she passed, struggling with suicidal thoughts and even trying to end my own life. But being with Lucas made those feelings evaporate, because I could never, in a million years, do that to him. Seeing the pain firsthand that suicide brings to others is an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but it also makes you truly understand the depth of actually ending your own life. I’ve never even thought about it since losing Hannah.
I love Lucas. It’s definitely weird and funny, the way the world works out. You can call me whatever you want for loving him, but I think after what we both experienced through losing her, we deserve to be happy and improve as people.

Hello, fellow blenderpeople. I'm quite new to blender and 3d modelling software, and while working on a cosplay project i encountered well, this. I need to cut the big bended tube-piece from the surface, buuut lack knowlege of "how to". In CAD i'd make, i dont know, a mask object and boolean the hell out of this model, but i have only this imported stl mesh and, well, i'm in trouble
https://preview.redd.it/8a920a15dr0d1.png?width=1367&format=png&auto=webp&s=be95359262dfe4da8efff6c2c9333214a77cd32b

Hello Everyone! I hope you all are well. Recently, Hades got a sequel, and I've been aching to play it as I've only heard nothing but great things about the game. I got the first game for Christmas two years ago and absolutely fell in love with the characters and visuals. The first game was my first roguelike, and I would love to enjoy the sequel as the developers of the game (Supergiant) never make sequels! The first game was so good that they had to make a sequel, and I would love to get my hands on it. The first game had a simple premise: you follow a man named Zagreus who is trying to escape hell and reunite with his mother on the surface, but to get there, you have to traverse and fight through several rooms which may lead to your death. Upon death, you only keep certain items that allow you to get stronger and experiment with different weapons and abilities.
I currently am unable to pay for the game due to my financial situation, and I refuse to pirate the game because of how incredible the game developer is. If someone decides to gift me the game, I would be incredibly grateful!
Game: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1145350/Hades_II/
My Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199165913463/

I am truly attempting to find some answers to the above question for the first time in this year of crazy adventures. Firstly, I am doing this because my editor (hey, Mandy!) asked me to (thank you, Sabrina :P), and secondly, it might help me answer the thousands of questions I have in my head and the people who ask this question repeatedly.
To be honest, I don't currently have any travel plans or airline tickets to return home, but the more I see, the more I want to see.
Yes, it's similar to a narcotic, but a good, completely legal one. Following much thought, this is the initial list. However, I have a feeling that the reasons might shift in a few months.

I enjoy testing my boundaries and pushing myself.

Living in a cozy home, be it a palace, a room, an apartment, or a studio, breeds complacency and laziness. You can shower EVERY day, you know where your belongings are, and you can use the restroom whenever you need to (long-term travelers understand how challenging some of these things may be when you're on the road). To put it briefly, living in a location you call home is (too) simple!
That was altered by travel. One day, you can find me hiking Tasmania's Cradle Mountain, and the next, I'll be sleeping beneath a million stars in the wide Indian desert. Next, I might go diving in the Great Barrier Reef or perhaps skydiving in Lake Taupo at a height of 50,000 feet (okay, so I haven't really done the last one yet, but I've made the reservation).hope for the best! adore spending time with myself
Many people planned their vacations to India, Bali, and Rome in the footsteps of Elizabeth Gilbert and her Eat, Love, Pray adventure, and many more believe that the destination they choose would transform them. Count me among them.
And even though I didn't truly discover who I am or the man I want to marry, this last year has undoubtedly assisted me in freeing up mental space. I was able to separate my complete chaos of a personal life into several categories so that I could prioritize joy and happiness above drama and depression.

I enjoy making new friends.

I think that somewhere inside of me, since I started travelling and was compelled by the circumstances, was my previous self. I recall Sabrina as a young girl, outgoing and unafraid to strike up a conversation. Finding her and persuading her to come out of the shyness closet took some time. Layers of corporate life veiled her, but eventually she broke free, and we have been together ever since. (It's me, in case you missed it.) I've met some wonderful individuals while travelling, and some of my favorite travel-related memories are of times spent with them.

I enjoy taking risks and being uncontrollable.

I used to be a complete control freak who was obsessed with the details of my upcoming day, week, and month. I've had to give it up in favor of the unexpected in the past year—the enchantment of not knowing where you're going, if you're going to sleep, what you're going to do, or who you're going to meet.
I adore that every day is just like this—it's the true spirit of adventure. I have no idea where I will be spending Christmas this year. I have no notion where I'm heading beyond the Pacific Islands; the world is wide open.
I am truly attempting to find some answers to the above question for the first time in this year of crazy adventures. Firstly, I am doing this because my editor (hey, Mandy!) asked me to (thank you, Sabrina :P), and secondly, it might help me answer the thousands of questions I have in my head and the people who ask this question repeatedly.
To be honest, I don't currently have any travel plans or airline tickets to return home, but the more I see, the more I want to see.

im going to be building my first pc and wanted some help with choosing the parts , i have a $720 budget and this is the build i've gone for
1)what are some things that i can change/replace to get a better build? the main doubt i have is for the gpu , i saw some benchmarks and concluded that 4060 is the best card for me , if anyone else has any suggestion , feel free to comment
2) will the psu hold up?
3) im new to pc building so if anyone can also help me with making sure that all the components will fit , i'd greatly appreciate it , ive made sure that the motherboard and case are both matx , but i really dont know how to check it with the gpu and psu
im sorry about the currency and that it may make it a bit hard for people to help me
the currency is inr
[PCPriceTracker Build](https://pcpricetracker.in/b/s/89d4e80a-9c17-45bb-9008-3f9be37f58e4)
CategorySelectionSourcePrice
:----:----:--------:
**Processor** [INTEL CORE I3-12100F DESKTOP PROCESSOR (12M CACHE, UP TO 4.30GHZ)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/5ff8a0fec9097443280ecb56d399ab9e) Vedant Computers 7960
**Motherboard** [Ant Value H610MAD4-N Motherboard (Intel Socket 1700/13th and 12th Generation Core Series CPU/ Max 64GB DDR4 3200MHz Memory)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/1c68cf4a2d2961a1381fb897e12e5b8c) MDComputers 5670
**Graphic Card** [Inno3D Rtx 4060 Twin X2 8Gb Graphics Card (N40602-08D6-173051N)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/631c76b9ff4ef753eb8c572b08ce9004) MDComputers 29000
**Power Supply** [Ant Esports RX Series RX650 80Plus Bronze Power Supply](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/8433f9d86b6bb19e4d7057222dfb4594) Vedant Computers 3650
**Cabinet** [Ant Esports ICE-100 Air Mini Mesh (M-ATX) Mini Tower Cabinet with Tempered Glass Side Panel (White)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/f6856bbee8cf0b35fcca1646609d621f) Vedant Computers 2950
**Memory** [G.Skill F4-3200C16S-8GIS Desktop Ram Aegis Series 8GB (8GBx1) DDR4 3200MHz Black](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/bb06c7488707caa104abd65be4cc0f28) Vedant Computers 1720
**Additional Memory** [G.Skill F4-3200C16S-8GIS Desktop Ram Aegis Series 8GB (8GBx1) DDR4 3200MHz Black](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/bb06c7488707caa104abd65be4cc0f28) Vedant Computers 1720
**Hard drive**
**SSD drive** [Western Digital Black SN770 1TB M.2 NVMe Internal SSD (WDS100T3X0E)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/5a5b74dc9ce44d5358d2b8835bdebe81) Vedant Computers 6670
**Monitor**
**Additional Monitor**
**CPU Cooler**
**Keyboard**
**Mouse**
**Headset**
**Case Fans**
**Grand Total** **INR 59340**

im going to be building my first pc and wanted some help with choosing the parts , i have a $720 budget and this is the build i've gone for
1)what are some things that i can change/replace to get a better build? the main doubt i have is for the gpu , i saw some benchmarks and concluded that 4060 is the best card for me , if anyone else has any suggestion , feel free to comment
2) will the psu hold up?
3) im new to pc building so if anyone can also help me with making sure that all the components will fit , i'd greatly appreciate it , ive made sure that the motherboard and case are both matx , but i really dont know how to check it with the gpu and psu
im sorry about the currency and that it may make it a bit hard for people to help me
the currency is inr
[PCPriceTracker Build](https://pcpricetracker.in/b/s/89d4e80a-9c17-45bb-9008-3f9be37f58e4)
CategorySelectionSourcePrice
:----:----:--------:
**Processor** [INTEL CORE I3-12100F DESKTOP PROCESSOR (12M CACHE, UP TO 4.30GHZ)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/5ff8a0fec9097443280ecb56d399ab9e) Vedant Computers 7960
**Motherboard** [Ant Value H610MAD4-N Motherboard (Intel Socket 1700/13th and 12th Generation Core Series CPU/ Max 64GB DDR4 3200MHz Memory)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/1c68cf4a2d2961a1381fb897e12e5b8c) MDComputers 5670
**Graphic Card** [Inno3D Rtx 4060 Twin X2 8Gb Graphics Card (N40602-08D6-173051N)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/631c76b9ff4ef753eb8c572b08ce9004) MDComputers 29000
**Power Supply** [Ant Esports RX Series RX650 80Plus Bronze Power Supply](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/8433f9d86b6bb19e4d7057222dfb4594) Vedant Computers 3650
**Cabinet** [Ant Esports ICE-100 Air Mini Mesh (M-ATX) Mini Tower Cabinet with Tempered Glass Side Panel (White)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/f6856bbee8cf0b35fcca1646609d621f) Vedant Computers 2950
**Memory** [G.Skill F4-3200C16S-8GIS Desktop Ram Aegis Series 8GB (8GBx1) DDR4 3200MHz Black](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/bb06c7488707caa104abd65be4cc0f28) Vedant Computers 1720
**Additional Memory** [G.Skill F4-3200C16S-8GIS Desktop Ram Aegis Series 8GB (8GBx1) DDR4 3200MHz Black](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/bb06c7488707caa104abd65be4cc0f28) Vedant Computers 1720
**Hard drive**
**SSD drive** [Western Digital Black SN770 1TB M.2 NVMe Internal SSD (WDS100T3X0E)](https://pcpricetracker.in/products/5a5b74dc9ce44d5358d2b8835bdebe81) Vedant Computers 6670
**Monitor**
**Additional Monitor**
**CPU Cooler**
**Keyboard**
**Mouse**
**Headset**
**Case Fans**
**Grand Total** **INR 59340**

This is my first time ever posting anything like this so I apologize in advanced if this is hard to follow. I have expressed through the roughly 3 years (I say that because my partner and I don't quite remember when we started dating exactly so we made up a date) that him and I were dating before he proposed that I wasn't comfortable being married due to the marriages I have been around in my family never have worked out and other baggage I have like that. He proposed to me on Christmas eve at his family's home. He didn't tell me or his family he was going to do that. He has a history of not planning and doing things impulsively then getting depressed when it doesn't work out. I love him to death so I said yes but I really didn't want to. Not because I don't love him, he's my rock, but because I just didn't want that for myself yet. It felt like he was only doing what he wanted. And it felt like he just wanted to make sure I wouldn't leave him. He's expressed a lot that he's very insecure which is another reason I said yes. I feel like if I said no that would be bad for our relationship and that's the last thing I want. I don't want to bring this up because I feel like he'll have doubt in our relationship or that he'll get depressed. The reason I would bring it up is because it's causing me turmoil at this moment. Last week we got into a fight. Hes a super jealous person and he doesn't like it when I even talk to someone that isn't him that I get along with. Which is why I have a hard time making friends. I'm scared of him being upset and ignoring me or something. He always is scared that I'm cheating even though I'm talking to him 24/7 and we have life 360 (a location app) and he sees where I'm going every day. The fight started because I went out to drinks with my co workers and he got jealous of that. He got mad at me and started to reply with one word replies. Then I confronted him and he just said "it's a me problem just go out and drink" (he's saying it's his own problem not for me to do anything about). That escalated fast into an argument, mainly from me, because I got tired of him being so jealous. It was the final straw. I never have been mad at him openly to him like that. I feel so tied down in a bad way and because I have never brought anything up to him I feel bad. I grew up in a very volatile home. I grew up walking on egg shells never talking back so me expressing I was upset was very scary for me. It's been a bit Over a week and I'm still mad about it but I've been trying to get over it. It's like all the bad feelings I've had since getting engaged suddenly are rising in me. He said (I'm paraphrasing in the least bais way I can because it was a long argument) that if he had it his way I would be locked away with only him forever and that he knows he's too jealous and that it's because of his previous relationship because she cheated on him. I said that's toxic and I don't like that and I started to raise my voice (this is over the phone) while explaining why that's toxic af. Because of that he said that it's the beer talking, referring to my voice rising. I only had 1 beer and the adrenaline of sharing my dislike to his jealously would have sobered me up regardless. He says he'll work on it but he's said that about other times I have brought things up to him but he never does, which I know is unfair to say because he could be working on it behind the scenes when I'm not around and working mentally, but it has never been present, that I've noticed, that he's worked on anything. I don't think he'll be working on this either. How this relates to my question is, do I bring up how I feel like I am being tied down in a bad way? And that I didn't really want to get engaged and that I said yes to make him happy? I don't want to hurt him though that might be inevitable due to some of his insecurities. We've been engaged 1 year now and I am afraid that I have waited too long to bring this up and since I hid my feelings I feel like it's unreasonable to say this too. I feel like it's my principles that are now broken due to this. I feel like he didn't respect them and only went for his feelings. The jealousy, me stepping on egg shells, and proposing without considering my principles and feelings is baring on me greatly. I don't know how to express that I don't feel good with how things are.
Tl Dr My partner proposed and I said yes to make him happy though I told him I didn't want to get married throughout the years of us dating previous. I feel tied down and anxious about being engaged but I don't want to hurt him. Do I tell him this or deal with it until I get used to it?

I’ve been with my husband for 2 years now, married 6 months. I caught him out in a lie last weekend and it’s unravelled so many things. So many times that I thought that what he was saying was strange, or seemed far-fetched all make sense now. The lies aren’t even big or to hide something that would hurt someone’s feelings, it’s just small stuff but the lie is what makes it huge for me.

It’s clear now that he’s a compulsive liar and I don’t know if I want to go forward with the marriage, or if there’s even any point. Can a compulsive liar ever really change?

I’ll give a couple of examples to provide a bit of context:

EXAMPLE 1
May 2022 - When we met he in May 2022, he told me he had tried to kill himself in a car crash when he was 19, that it was a split second decision and to never tell his parents because it would crush them. I dutifully kept his secret.
11 May 2024 - I found out that there was someone else in the car from an offhand comment made by one of his parents. When I asked him later why he had lied about it, he said that he didn’t remember the crash, has no memories before or for a while after. I asked why he would try to kill himself with someone else in the car. He maintained that “it was a bit about killing myself”, before restating that he had no memory and “I don’t know what to tell you”. Very defensive, yelling and crying.
14 May 2024 - I asked him again, saying that either he has lied to me since we met, or he tried to take someone else out with him. He said he didn’t remember but that he thought it was suicide because he was so deeply unhappy at that time in his life. I said “so you tried to take your girlfriend out with you? Because that’s murder”. He then said he didnt know the real reason. I then asked why he would definitively tell me it was a suicide attempt if he didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t tell me. I then asked why he seemed to remember specifics when I asked him at the start of the relationship (“I was driving home from dads after dinner, it was a split second decision”) but now couldn’t even tell me if it was an accident or suicide. Admitted that it was silly to claim suicide attempt, but still didnt admit to lying.

EXAMPLE 2
December 2023, - I received a black sapphire bracelet from my mum for Christmas. Boxing Day, he told me that “oh black sapphire! it’s just like the ring mum got you”. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said he didn't know. I said “no, your mum got me emerald earrings”. He said “ah yes that’s what I must have been thinking about”. I knew something was up but I left it at that because we were at family's house.
Later I asked him directly if his mum had given a black sapphire ring to his ex. He said no, he was just confused about the earrings. I said I wouldn’t care, but that I don't want to be lied to. He said no, he was just confused.
Two weeks later his mum was on the phone on speaker (she didn't realise she was on speaker) and she said “I’ve asked for that sapphire ring back from [ex] and given it to [sisterin law]”. I told him “I fucking knew it, why did you lie to me?” He said he didn't remember and that he genuinely got confused, and that he was “an idiot” for not remembering. I told him I’d be far more upset about being lied to than I would about a gift your mum gave to someone before we met. He said “I know, and that’s why I’m not lying to you!”
14 May 2024, I brought this issue up again in the context of the other lies. The conversation went like this:
Me: Why did you lie to me about that, even when your mum mentioned it?
Him: I already told you, I got confused, I totally forgot
Me: How did you forget when I asked you directly, with specifics? I asked you “Did your mum give a black sapphire ring to [ex’s name]” and you told me no.
Him: I got my wires crossed, I was talking about the earrings
Me: but you specifically mentioned a black sapphire ring, which was exactly what it was.
Him: I don’t remember who she gave it to.
Me: So you do remember there was a ring… then why didn’t it jog your memory when I asked you directly?
Him: I already apologised for this, we’ve been through this
Me: What? No, after your mum got off the phone, you told me again that you’d forgot about it and you couldn’t remember anything about it.
Him: Yeah, after the phone call with mum - we had a conversation the next day which I vividly remember where I told you I lied so as not to hurt your feelings.
I have no recollection of this conversation, but it would directly contradict claims he made seconds prior about ‘getting his wires crossed’, thinking it was about my earrings, and having no memory of it. When I asked why he had contradicted himself, he said he didn’t understand.

There are actually many more examples like this, and I can provide them if more info is needed. But over and over again, I’ve told him that I can handle the truth, but begged him not to lie to me. I caught him out in a lie in the first couple of months of us dating. When he said it was to protect my feelings, I told him that I would rather the truth than a lie from him. He promised never to lie to me again.

Over the last couple of years, he has sent me texts like:
“I felt absolutely stupid and embarrassed when I lied to you ages ago. And I told you it will not happen again. And it hasn’t.”
“I don’t lie to you”
“I’m so glad I have you. I can be my true self with you. I love the complete openness and honesty in our relationship. All we want is the best for one another”
”I asked myself something last night about us. Just in quiet reflection. Would I tell you everything and anything even if it would upset you? Like would I even make up little white lies to avoid anything crappy and I was like nah. I am cellophane with you. But frosted glass with everyone else”
“I love you so much. I promise to tell you everything and always devote myself to you”
He has repeatedly told me that he would never lie to me as “you know everything anyway, do you think I could lie to you?”

When faced with all of the above, he admits that he's got a problem with lying and says he’s turned a new leaf, that he knows what he needs to do, and that from now on it will be complete honesty. But in light of everything, how do I know that this is the truth, and not another lie?? All of my trust in him has gone, along with any respect I had for him. Everything he's saying to me just feels like lip service.

Tl;dr – husband is a compulsive liar. Can I believe him when he says he will change?

I’ve been with my husband for 2 years now, married 6 months. I caught him out in a lie last weekend and it’s unravelled so many things. So many times that I thought that what he was saying was strange, or seemed far-fetched all make sense now. The lies aren’t even big or to hide something that would hurt someone’s feelings, it’s just small stuff but the lie is what makes it huge for me.

It’s clear now that he’s a compulsive liar and I don’t know if I want to go forward with the marriage, or if there’s even any point. Can a compulsive liar ever really change?

I’ll give a couple of examples to provide a bit of context:

EXAMPLE 1
May 2022 - When we met he in May 2022, he told me he had tried to kill himself, that it was a split second decision and to never tell his parents because it would crush them. I dutifully kept his secret.
11 May 2024 - I found out that there was someone else in the car from an offhand comment made by one of his parents. When I asked him laterwhy he had lied about it, he said that he didn’t remember the crash, has no memories before or for a while after. I asked why he would try to kill himself with someone else in the car. He maintained that “it was a bit about killing myself”, before restating that he had no memory and “I don’t know what to tell you”. Very defensive, yelling and crying.
14 May 2024 - I asked him again, saying that either he has lied to me since we met, or he tried to take someone else out with him. He said he didn’t remember but that he thought it was suicide because he was so deeply unhappy at that time in his life. I said “so you tried to take your girlfriend out with you? Because that’s murder”. He then said he didnt know the real reason. I then asked why he would definitively tell me it was a suicide attempt if he didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t tell me. I then asked why he seemed to remember specifics when I asked him at the start of the relationship (“I was driving home from dads after dinner, it was a split second decision”) but now couldn’t even tell me if it was an accident or suicide. Admitted that it was silly to claim suicide attempt, but still didnt admit to lying.

EXAMPLE 2
December 2023, - I received a black sapphire bracelet from my mum for Christmas. Boxing Day, he told me that “oh black sapphire! it’s just like the ring mum got you”. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said he didn't know. I said “no, your mum got me emerald earrings”. He said “ah yes that’s what I must have been thinking about”. I knew something was up but I left it at that because we were at family's house.
Later I asked him directly if his mum had given a black sapphire ring to his ex. He said no, he was just confused about the earrings. I said I wouldn’t care, but that I don't want to be lied to. He said no, he was just confused.
Two weeks later his mum was on the phone on speaker (she didn't realise she was on speaker) and she said “I’ve asked for that sapphire ring back from [ex] and given it to [sisterin law]”. I told him “I fucking knew it, why did you lie to me?” He said he didn't remember and that he genuinely got confused, and that he was “an idiot” for not remembering. I told him I’d be far more upset about being lied to than I would about a gift your mum gave to someone before we met. He said “I know, and that’s why I’m not lying to you!”
14 May 2024, I brought this issue up again in the context of the other lies. The conversation went like this:
Me: Why did you lie to me about that, even when your mum mentioned it?
Him: I already told you, I got confused, I totally forgot
Me: How did you forget when I asked you directly, with specifics? I asked you “Did your mum give a black sapphire ring to [ex’s name]” and you told me no.
Him: I got my wires crossed, I was talking about the earrings
Me: but you specifically mentioned a black sapphire ring, which was exactly what it was.
Him: I don’t remember who she gave it to.
Me: So you do remember there was a ring… then why didn’t it jog your memory when I asked you directly?
Him: I already apologised for this, we’ve been through this
Me: What? No, after your mum got off the phone, you told me again that you’d forgot about it and you couldn’t remember anything about it.
Him: Yeah, after the phone call with mum - we had a conversation the next day which I vividly remember where I told you I lied so as not to hurt your feelings.
I have no recollection of this conversation, but it would directly contradict claims he made seconds prior about ‘getting his wires crossed’, thinking it was about my earrings, and having no memory of it. When I asked why he had contradicted himself, he said he didn’t understand.

There are actually many more examples like this, and I can provide them if more info is needed. But over and over again, I’ve told him that I can handle the truth, but begged him not to lie to me. I caught him out in a lie in the first couple of months of us dating. When he said it was to protect my feelings, I told him that I would rather the truth than a lie from him. He promised never to lie to me again.

Over the last couple of years, he has sent me texts like:
“I felt absolutely stupid and embarrassed when I lied to you ages ago. And I told you it will not happen again. And it hasn’t.”
“I don’t lie to you”
“I’m so glad I have you. I can be my true self with you. I love the complete openness and honesty in our relationship. All we want is the best for one another”
”I asked myself something last night about us. Just in quiet reflection. Would I tell you everything and anything even if it would upset you? Like would I even make up little white lies to avoid anything crappy and I was like nah. I am cellophane with you. But frosted glass with everyone else”
“I love you so much. I promise to tell you everything and always devote myself to you”
He has repeatedly told me that he would never lie to me as “you know everything anyway, do you think I could lie to you?”

When faced with all of the above, he admits that he's got a problem with lying and says he’s turned a new leaf, that he knows what he needs to do, and that from now on it will be complete honesty. But in light of everything, how do I know that this is the truth, and not another lie?? All of my trust in him has gone, along with any respect I had for him. Everything he's saying to me just feels like lip service.
tl;dr - husband is a compulsive liar. Can I believe him when he says he will change?
EDIT because someone's already called me exhausting.
I’m only asking so many questions about these issues in the last couple of days because suddenly everything is making sense. A number of events that I went “huh, that’s weird” over the last two years but took him at face value and brushed off are all coming back into focus. I’m trying to get him to admit to lying for things that I know for a fact he has lied about. I’m trying to get him to understand that he can’t just give me something that doesn’t make sense and expect me to believe it.
HE is the one who asks me daily to talk about the issues we're facing, to tell how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking etc. He brings it up, so I explain to him what doesn't make sense to me or what I'm trying to process.
I ask him questions so that I can understand what his story is, and how that interacts with the facts that I know. When he’s defensive and contradicting himself instead of being honest and saying “yeah I made that up”. The fact that I’ve told him that I just want the truth and he still can’t admit to it indicates that there’s a problem - I even held a “safe space lie amnesty” a couple of days ago where I said I just wanted to know what he’s lied about so we can move forward. A lie you’ve gotten yourself tangled in is one thing. Repeated and continuous lying even in the face of contradictory facts is concerning. Despite my repeatedly telling him I can handle the truth, he maintains lies that have no value. Most of the lies he's told me couldn't even be considered to be for a reason - if it was to protect my feelings I'd get it, but some of them are just for attention.
These are not two isolated incidents, these are two of maybe ten events that I can recall from the last 2 years that have always been weird to me, but I kinda brushed them under the rug until recently when I realised there was something else going on.
I don’t think it’s too much to ask from a man who has repeatedly told me how much he values the honesty and openness in our relationship to show me those same values. He is not a man who has ever even indicated that he wanted to have his own space or privacy, in fact, he jumped into the relationship with "we should have each other's phone passcodes and be able to look at it whenever we want because we have absolutely nooooooo secrets". That was a bit of a shock to my system, but I thought 'hey, if this man wants full transparency and openness then let's go for it'.
He can't have it both ways.

This is a long story and if you do read through it and can offer advice it would be greatly appreciated.
I can't find too much if anything similar to my experience. I'm wondering if anyone heard about this and any advice?
About 6 months ago I got a call on my phone from RBC on the call display. It was spoofed but I didn't know it. The person on the phone asked me if I used my debit card to purchase an iphone in Ontario. I said no, and he said it's not a problem these things happen all the time, they will cancel the purchase and send me a new card.
This is not too out of the ordinary for me as I had my credit card have unauthorized purchases several times in the past. The weird thing was this time it was a debit card.
Then he said he can not ask my debit card number but a recording will follow and I should key in my debit card number. This was my major mistake. I know never to give a credit card number, PIN or password but for some reason I never thought of my debit card number to be a major issue. Like what if I lost it?
Anyway after I did that he came back and I asked him to mail the new one to my bank. He said no he would mail it to my home and told me my very old address. I told him no, it's unacceptable mail it to my bank branch like always. He then hung up on me. I didn't give any other info.
Minutes later I got an email from RBC saying my password has been changed! Then another saying my email has been changed. I quickly tried to login and couldn't so I called RBC Security.
As I was talking my email inbox got 1000's of email newsletter sign up confirmations per hour. About 12 000 in total by the next morning. It's a business email so it ruined everything and I couldn't find legit emails but that's besides the point.
The goal of doing that is because it was their hopes I would not see the emails from RBC.....but lucky they came first. it's called a Spam Bomb.
RBC Security said they would help me change my password back and I was able to reset it. Only minutes later while still on the phone....I had logged out and then tried to log back in....And he said this is strange. he put me on hold. He said there was someone on another call with the call centre claiming to be me and getting the password changed! He somehow was passing all the authentication and fooling the agent into changing the password.
So he put a block on the account meaning nobody can call in. Not even me. No passwords or access codes, nothing. The only way I could deal with RBC is going into the branch.
No money went missing. I guess I caught it just in time. Nothing was changed in my accounts. But I still cancelled all my credit cards and got new ones. And I got new account numbers for my bank accounts.
As I had to do this at the branch it took several visits and anytime I needed to ask a question Id have to go in person. I changed my phone number and even to do this in the back end systems beyond online banking I had to make an appointment. Fun fact RBC has to wait on hold forever also, no special access lines.
After changing my accounts I changed my phone number because they kept calling back. Changing your phone number nowadays is a major undertaking as I have 100's of websites many with 2 factor auth that I had to change. I also changed all my passwords unique without any matching.
After all this....I travelled to Japan. In fact I travel 6 months of the year to many countries. I decided to log into my online banking using a VPN. Big mistake. The system thought I was fraud and it locked me out. And I can't call! Luckily I have an account manager who knows me well and we could verify that way but most people don't have this.
Another time my debit cards weren't working anywhere in The Philippines and I couldn't call in. It was Christmas and my account manager wasn't available for 4 days. I had no cash. What a disaster.
So when I got home....I had to take this call block off. It's just not working. It had already been 2.5 months and my computer was factory reset, I purchased a new phone. I had really done everything I could.
I travelled to several countries and no problems, everything is working normal and perfect.
I take security very seriously to the point of paranoia. And I also know all the scams. I don't get fooled easily and used to have a hobby to mess with the scammers heads. But even this I don't do anymore because they probably put me on some sort of list or something.
Since then Ive been very private.
Then yesterday....I get an email saying my email has been changed. Lucky no spam bomb. I tried to log into RBC and it didn't say wrong password, it said account it locked.
I called RBC Security and they said I need to go into the branch with ID and they wouldn't talk to me.
I did so. They said someone called in and passed the verification. And convinced RBC to reset my password for them. This is infuriating because there are notes saying that I am a victim of account take over and to proceed with caution.
Again no money is missing but I need to change all my accounts and cards again. And I'm leaving to Africa in a few weeks.
I now have that call block on the system and can't release it otherwise the scammers will just call back and convince RBC to change my password again. What can I do about this?
I had the idea to change my debit card number. They will change the account numbers and credit card numbers but not the debit card number. Changing this number I think will solve all my problems. But no matter how far I escalated this. They won't do it. Not a chance. To me it seems the most logical way to start fresh as they are using that info to the agent.
So I opened a new account with another bank. I'll use this as a travel account and fund it with what I need. But with RBC I have many investment accounts, business accounts, several high end credit cards. You name it. And TD banks credit card for travel doesn't seem to match the power of RBC Avion which I accumulate tons of points with my business. Which is why I can travel so much! So in other words it's not easy to switch.
But anyway Does anyone know how they are passing the authentication so easy? Nobody knows my 3 secret phrases. Not even my wife. RBC usually have voice authentication, I guess that failed. Or they recorded me?
And also the hacker originally repeated my old address but I never gave a new one. When I do call RBC they usually ask my address and things about my account that I am likely only to know. It's so strange.
How can I get out of this mess?
Does anyone have any success having their physical debit card number changed? Any other advice?
I feel one day if this keeps happening I could be out money.
Would I be protected and refunded?
While I admit I did get fooled into giving my debit card number it wasn't my pin or password and they were the ones who tricked RBC over and over. And Ive taken all reasonable preacuations to secure my account since then.
However having this severely restricted account where I can't call in and since I travel 6 months per year as you can imagine I can't do this long term.
if you read this far thanks so much for reading, Any advice is appreciated!

Hello, I really need advice, I will try to give as much background as possible. I’m a female age 25, he is male age 43. We just made it past a year together.
2 weeks ago i typed this up but couldnt find out how to post it lol: My boyfriend has made it very clear that he is not okay with, as he puts it, “new male friends”. Hes okay with my male friend I’ve had since before we got together (except one, that I decided to let it go because it wasn’t worth it anyways).
I was in a school program for 7 months, I was the class “ambassador” as they call it, people came to me with any questions and I would give everyone my number if they had questions, our teacher actually asked this of us. I was passing all my classes with 98% and above.
Queue a new student, A, weird quirky dude, plays a game that none of my current friends do (league of legends).
Fast forward to one night, my boyfriend has already gone to sleep - and I’m up late with my little brother and A and we made plans for the next morning to play a different game that I had just bought, all three of us. Not A and I alone, me my little brother AND A. I go to sleep thinking I will text my boyfriend whats up when I wakeup - but he calls me at 705AM out of my sleep before I ever planned to wakeup and asks me to play a game with him. I said I’m sorry I can’t I already made plans with my little brother and A - here starts our relationship issues.
Tonight it has come down to if I don’t cut A out of my life we are over. He already brokeup with me technically 2 weeks ago over the same thing but I came by the house and fought for the relationship.
He always crosses my boundaries (seperate issue sorry), I ask him not to drink because when he drinks he is an asshole and … can scream at me or be a little crazy (never physical abuse) but yeah, and I’ve always forgiven him. He tells me I’m controlling that I ask him not to drink, but its from lived experienced while with him that weve both come to the conclusion that he should not drink.
I’ve never been friends with another “male” (as he says) and been unfaithful or been shady, in fact I have only played games with A 3 times, and ALWAYS with my little brother involved.
Tonight he got a beer of course, and he freaked out on me and everything tells me this relationship isnt healthy but I love him so much
I guess my base question is: is it okay to restrict someone from having friends?
He always says ok well if you have male friends I’m gunna go get female friends - I feel like that he is doing it in a spiteful way so therefore it has malicious intent and I don’t like that, but under normal circumstances yes go ahead. I trust him to never cheat on me (sober).
I’m just so lost 😞
I’m sorry if this isnt right for this reddit, I just need advice.

• current

I’m not one of those girls that has a ton of male friends, I just so happened to make this one while going to class everyday. The basis of the friendship was the games we both had in common. I had no malicious intent.
We are in couples therapy now, weve had one session. I put A on hiatus so I can work on my relationship, but today A messaged me asking when we can game. I told him to please respect the space I asked for and that I would reach out when I’m ready (with my boyfriends consent).
I wanted to transparent with my boyfriend tonight so when he got off work I let him know that A reached out to me and it seemed to make him upset. He did the whole thing he did before sayinf he was going to get female friends specifixay one named Staceyfrom work whom I’ve never even heard of!!
Its just frustratinf. Sometimes I wonder if I just let go of this one thing we could be happy and I could get married and have kids, besides this one thing hes really great to me.
Would someone more "submissive" be better for him? I’m starting to wonder if maybe we just don’t mesh together because of this one thing - but isnt that stupid to throw a whole relationship away?
Please be kind, only constructive advice - I’m open to all perspectives but I just ask that you be kind
Thank you
Edit: read what the automod said, please ignore any "is this okay" questions but I did try to delete them already - just looking for advice!

I'm still going through my divorce. It's been ongoing for 8 months. 17 year marriage. She said it was because she thought I would always leave, so she pushed me away. I am her fourth husband, but all of the others were short in comparison to our 17 years.
Problems arose about ten years ago and I fought hard to fix things. I feel like I read every how to fix and rekindling article and book available. Flowers, random gifts, new cars, shopping sprees, home renovations, vacations, took over all the household chores, and the list goes on. I tried until I had a sort of depressive episode that hit me very hard. It lasted about a month and it was kind of a wake up call where I had to admit that I just couldn't handle the rejection anymore. At that point I felt like I had no other option than to give her an ultimatum. I told her that if she "pushed me away" again, then it was over.
Mind you, that the type of intimacy I was looking for was a hug. I couldn't give her a kiss on the cheek when I got home from work without getting looked at like I had two heads. I tried giving her space, making sure she wasn't in a state where she was overwhelmed, clearly stating my intentions ("Hey, can I give you a kiss?"). I was definitely pushed away and I think there might have been someone on the side at one point. That was my guess, until a neighbor finally told me that he had seen her with someone acting a little too cozy on a walk.
Well, I drew the line in the sand and about 6 months later, she crossed it. I asked her if she wanted a divorce and she just smirked at me, and said "Fine, this feels like a huge load off."
I was pretty devastated. Went through a case of "heartbreak syndrome" and actually had a trip to the hospital over it. It was bad. Now I'm numb. I work twelve to fourteen hours a day out of choice. I lost about 40 pounds. I force myself to eat and only sleep about 4 or 5 hours a night. I don't even get hungry anymore and don't have the willpower to just shut my eyes and sleep.
What bugs me the most is that I was an awesome gift giver. I would pick a special gift for my wife and kids every gift giving holiday. I had this drive to find the perfect gift, it was my mission. I would investigate and listen to everyone just to figure out what material thing they were missing in their lives and I would fight tooth and nail to get it. Hard to find, international, having to drive two hours to get some hot item. It didn't matter, I was on it.
Since the divorce, it's gone. Now whenever a birthday comes up I feel annoyed by the thought of it. I just throw money now. I can't even be bothered to get a card. I just hit the ATM and toss cash. I can't say me doing it was never appreciated. I would get hugs and sincere thank you's from my kids, even tears some times, but never from the wife. She would just open them, look inside and make some generic, "Oh thanks" remark.
I raised the bar every year for her to the point I was spending thousands. No change, same response. I once drove a three hour round trip to pick up sandwiches from a restaurant where we got engaged (it was a chain restaurant and our restaurant closed so I drove to the nearest one), and got a "Where did you find that? I wouldn't have driven that far."
Our last Christmas together pre divorce, I got nothing. I really don't want anything and I feel like I'm whining, but nothing. I would at least get socks and underwear every year, but nothing. All I can think, is how adamant we were about getting stuff for everyone and how I couldn't imagine completely forgetting someone. It felt pretty intentional.
Regardless of any underlying reasons though, what I thought was a personal super power is just gone. I would always have some great idea for each person, now just nothing. I tried forcing myself to do it and I just can't. I can roam stores and scour the internet and nothing jumps out at me. Now it's just a fistful of cash. Unpersonal, easiest, least effort gift I can manage.
I want to care that much again, but it's just not there anymore. My lack of drive is hitting other areas of my life, but not caring is now adding a nasty ping of guilt every time I toss cash at my kids. I feel ruined and am genuinely mad that part of me is gone.

my bf '21M' and i have been together for 9 months. before we met he had already been staying with his best friend '21M' and his best friends gf '20 F'. they all split rent. his best friend is very nice and will greet me whenever he sees me which isn't often as i usually just hang in my bfs room but i appreciate it. his gf, i feel, has done weird minor things. firstly, before i had even stayed at my bfs place, she didn't like the idea of me coming. to this day, i've never spoken to her even though we've been in the same room. even now he still has to ask her for "permission" if i want to stay. its tiring so he has to drive 40 mins to the next city to see me. which has caused a lot of arguments about me "not being appreciative enough". secondly, for christmas i bought him a shirt from a band he rly likes and he rly loves it! but then he told me that his best friends gf wore it. this, i find very uncomfortable. he said she needed it for her soccer game and it was the only shirt but if it were me, i'd ask if anyone else had a spare. also when he mentioned this, she said she wore it coming out of the shower so i don't rly know if she wore it more than once but i didn't like how he just said this in passing like it wouldn't make me question some things. thirdly, they're always going to do things together. he has to see me at a later time cause they're going on a hike. i have to wait cause she asked if he could buy her food. idm them hanging out cause they're roommates, it's normal. but i can't help but get a bit jealous whenever he says he's with her. fourth, she talks to him about sex with his best friend. the main thing, how they're not sleeping with each other as often as she'd like. she's apparently doing anything to get laid. she talks about how her "down there" hurts cause of work. i don't understand why you'd tell someone who's already in a relationship about these things. fifth, every time him and i are together, he will message her. not a crazy amount but ik when he's on his phone its him replying to her message about when is he getting home. sixth, she slept with his friends baby daddy while they were still together. i don't think it's crazy to assume that she'd do it again with someone else's bf.
am i just being overdramatic or is this weird?