In P17, Mr C magically materialised in the Twin Peaks Sheriff's station parking lot. Andy was first to spot him, thinking Agent Cooper had returned.

Andy: "Everyone's gonna be so happy to see you!"

Andy also pointed out he had a picnic basket, in case we thought it didn't matter.

Andy: "I was just taking this picnic basket in."

Mr C went in to have a chat with Sheriff Truman. Even if Andy stayed behind in the reception with Lucy, next he and his basket were in the Sheriff's office, helping Mr C to get a seat for himself. Then he rushed away, still excited that Cooper was back.

Andy: "I'm going to go tell Hawk you're here!"

What happened then was not clear. Andy's basket was not seen again. He didn't appear to have gone to see Hawk either as it was only later when a gun was fired that Hawk rushed to the scene. It looked as if this Andy just ran out of the story, jumping somewhere else, like Mr C had magically jumped into it. The Andy that we saw next may have been somebody else - unless then he was the same Andy, having spent some time elsewhere before thrown back to the station, now fully alerted to what was going on.
So what happened to Andy and his picnic basket?
When you jump, it can all be different, including your picnic basket.
Much earlier in P3, Andy and Lucy were in the station's conference room looking for "something" that was missing. Hawk came in carrying another kind of basket, an RR Diner coffee cup box. They had trouble figuring out what Hawk expected them to find. Andy spread his hands over the piles of folders and other stuff they had gathered on the table.

Andy: "This ... is here."

The gesture he made would have been meaningless if it wasn't the same that Cole asked Tammy to do with her hands in P7. As she spread her fingers out, Cole assigned a meaning for each of them.

Cole: "I'm very, very happy to see you again, old friend."

These two scenes also shared a red letter X, one in the EXIT sign next to Cole and another on the carton box next to Andy.
Is the old friend you are talking about in the room with us right now?
As usual, Lynch appears to have again taken things to the dreamlike absurd extreme. If the purpose was to indicate that when Andy made the same gesture, he also delivered the same message to Hawk, the scene in the conference probably was in continuation of Andy leaving the Sheriff's office with the basket in P17, whatever then caused such an abrupt jump in his story. Andy would not only have told Hawk that he was happy to have seen their old friend again - presumed to be Agent Cooper - but that this old friend was now right there and then, not just in the station but on the conference room table.
It's knot about the bunny, and probably about its basket and tie as well.
In line with this idea and suspected abstractions, Andy's disappearing picnic basket probably was to be found in the cover of the chocolate box, held both hands by the bunny. This would be followed by another throwback to the later showdown when Hawk appeared to understand what the message really was about.

Hawk: "It's not about the bunny."

This should apparently be heard a bit differently.

Hawk: "It's knot about the bunny."

There was a knot in the bowtie that the basket-holding bunny had around its neck. A bowtie can also be called as just a bow which takes us to another kind of bow, the weapon that Native American archers used to propel arrows at invading colonizers. That connected the bunny to Hawk's heritage, just like the Log Lady told him the missing "something" would.
Reflecting this back to Mr C in P17, when Mr C was shot by Lucy, Hawk rushed to the scene.

Hawk: "But that is Agent Cooper!" Sheriff Truman: "No ... it's not."

Again, we may have needed to hear the Sheriff differently.

Sheriff Truman: "No ... it's knot."

The knot and the bowtie.
That this was the intended approach was suggested a bit earlier when Mr C walked in to the station's reception. Andy turned towards him.

Andy: "Lucy, look who's here!"

On the other side of Mr C, visible through the glass doors and also in the line of Andy's sight, there was a quick glimpse of a white 2015 Chevrolet Trax parked in front of the station. Famously, Chevrolet's logo is a bowtie, thus connecting the knot and the bow again, like the bunny did. As a reminder that this wasn't to be missed, Cole arrived to the scene with another kind of Chevrolet the bowtie of which was pushed at the camera at 30:02.
Chevrolet Trax made space for a basket case.
If we pondered whether this really was something to pay attention to, the same Chevrolet Trax made a more pronounced appearance a few episodes earlier in P15 when it left the RR Diner just as Ed arrived there. Ed was dressed in a plaid shirt that had the same colors and very similar pattern as Andy's picnic box. Ed was excited about his freedom, but something wasn't right, and Norma looked at him with friendly pity, as if he was a bit of a basket case.
We got a further suggestion what to do with all this abstract strangeness when Cooper rushed to the scene and placed the green ring on the lifeless doppelganger's left hand ring finger. That is often regarded as the finger for the wedding ring.
Tying the knot.
If you marry someone, you tie the knot. There was a quite literal performance of this in P15 when furious Audrey tied her hands around her mystery husband Charlie's neck, after feeling she was "knot me" in P14. Here then, Cooper would have used the green ring to tie the "knot", causing the doppelganger and the green ring to disappear. But only the ring fell on the Black Lodge floor, leaving it for us to figure out what really happened to the doppelganger when the knot got tied.
She gave the basket to Mr Toad ...
Elsewhere in P5, basket-carrying Rebecca "Becky" Burnett was asking money from her mother Shelly while Norma watched on, playing with her bow - the rim of her eyeglasses - that between the cuts suggestively jumped here and there on the table. When Steven and Becky drove away, there was a subtle play with her green eyes that connected her to the knot of Cooper's tie, seen last in P6 on the Jones's table among piles of folders that reminded us of the piles on the Sheriff station's conference room table surrounding the bunny with another kind of tie.
In line with these connections, the name Rebecca means "to tie", here in likely further reference to her having tied the knot and married Steven.
... and the Country Squire gave it then to Andy.
There probably was another amusing play with contexts here. Becky left the basket with Toad, the diner's cook. The most famous toad is probably the one from The Wind in the Willows, Mr Toad, the squire who lived in a country house and was passionate about cars. This takes us back to Andy and his picnic basket that he took from the trunk of his 1979 Ford Country Squire, parked right next to that white Chevrolet Trax, these two cars now suggested to be abstractions of Becky and Toad and thus Andy's basket the same that Becky had, whatever that would then mean.
Steven was introduced in P5. The scene started with an exterior establishment shot that featured a large Chevrolet signboard, equipped with its bowtie logo. Mike asked to send Steven in. In the reception, Steven was sitting close to the glass doors through which we could see the same Chevrolet bowtie in the distance. As he walked in and sat down, the bowtie remained right next to his head.
This is a tight knot to open.
Comparing the scene to the Sheriff station's reception when Mr C walked in while another Chevrolet was visible through the glass doors, they also shared a lifesize duck figurine and a man carrying a large case. As a further reminder to think about the tie, when Steven left in anger, he was tearing his tie off.
As it seems, mindless Black Lodge doppelgangers needed someone to possess them before they got anything meaningful done. Here, we got good hints that the "knot" coming to the station as Cooper's doppelganger was actually Steven, the knot Becky had tied, the problem to solve.
Figuring out what this might mean, it is something to think about that both Mike and the Sheriff's office had two deer heads mounted on adjacent walls. The round, black top of the chair on which Steven sat was framed so that it resembled the round black mould that held BOB's head inside.

Hi there!
What are people's thoughts on doing Mt Isolation via Dry River as a one night backpack?
My girlfriend has never been backpacking before, and I'm looking for a low-mileage hike for her first trip. She has some experience in the whites (she did the kinsmans and tecumseh last summer) so she has an idea of what to expect for the terrain, but carrying the weight and sleeping in the middle of the woods will be new for her. She really likes to take her time while she hikes, so I think a low mileage trip will keep things low stress and doable for her, even with a little rough terrain.
We plan to spend the weekend in the Crawford Notch area. We'd hike in 4-5 miles up Dry River, camp for the night, do Isolation the next day and hike back to Dry River Campground (about a 10 mile day), where we will have the grill and a yummy dinner, and the comforts of car camping waiting for us!
My main concern is how doable the water crossings are this time of year. We plan to go middle of June. Anyone have any insight on this?
Other thoughts? General advice for this route? What do you see as potential pros and cons of this trip, considering my girlfriend has never been backpacking before?
Thanks in advance!

So my fiance and I have talked about doing a kind of joint bach party in Scottsdale, AZ and an idea I had was, we stay seperately, girls and guys, in diff houses and doing different things but also somewhat planned out as to when wed be hitting up the bars and such but if we see eachother or the group sees eachother or specific things, then we have a sort of game or things wed have to do like take a shot or finish your drink. Does anyone have an actual game or specific ideas for this? Thank you in advance!!

Hey everyone!
My friend and I are excited to share that we've started our journey into the world of game development. We've had many brainstorming sessions and have come up with a lot of interesting game ideas, including complete storylines for potential games. However, as we dive deeper into this creative process, we realize the value of bringing on one or two more partners to join us on this adventure.
While this is currently a hobby for us, we recognize the potential for it to grow into something more. Of course, like any creative endeavor, there are no guarantees of profit, but we’re driven by our passion for gaming and the joy of creating something unique and engaging. We believe that by working together and combining our skills, we can develop some truly amazing projects.
We are particularly focused on developing 3D games using Unity. Unity's powerful and versatile platform is essential for bringing our visions to life, and we're eager to collaborate with others who share our enthusiasm for 3D game development. Whether you have experience with Unity, storytelling, game design, or just a strong interest in game development, we'd love to hear from you.
Our direct messages are open, and we're more than happy to receive your opinions, suggestions, and offers of partnership. Even if it's just to connect and help each other out, we welcome any form of collaboration and support. Let's build a community where we can share our knowledge, inspire one another, and grow together in this exciting field.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and we look forward to connecting with fellow game development enthusiasts. Have a fantastic day, and let's make some great games together!

So I’m thinking of planning my bachelorette for a Thursday with my actual wedding being that Saturday. Brides that have done this before, any advice is appreciated. Is this a good idea?
I don’t plan on getting pissy drunk for the bachelorette. My wedding is going to be a destination wedding for all of my friends and family so I don’t see the point of making people travel twice for me.

L (logic)

* How much time and energy do you spend researching or studying? Do you like researching and studying, and why?
I tend to spend a lot of time studying. Any dead time I experience is usually spent reading whatever I find interesting. I generally like learning just to learn. I don’t necessarily need an end goal. The act of studying is simply enjoyable. Though, I do want to acquire as much knowledge as possible as well. There are nights I’ve stayed up studying math and physics, at times when I have had no practical use for either subject, simply for fun. Though, I suppose part of why I do things like that, is because I generally dislike the idea of other people being superior to me in any way, shape or form (slight exaggeration). I don’t like knowing that someone knows something that I don’t.
* How many of your own opinions do you form? How often do you do actual thinking on your own, more than just finding an existing answer?
I do tend to form my own conclusions about things. I generally don’t believe my conclusions to necessarily be the truth, but I do try to draw connections between everything, and reason out stuff on my own. I suppose my reddit comment history could be relevant here. How embarrassing. I tend to use my reasoning to fill the gaps in my knowledge when necessary, which can have the effect of making me look more knowledgeable than I really am in conversation. I am generally open to other people’s points of views, but I don’t rely on other people’s reasoning or statements, per se. Stuff generally needs to make logical sense to me before I’m able to draw any conclusions. I do also enjoy exploring theoretical matters in dialogue, for various reasons. One would be that other people’s thoughts and responses can spark my own creativity, leading me to understand subjects more thoroughly. There’s also the fact that some people are more knowledgeable in certain subjects than I am. I also just enjoy talking to people. I love seeing people reason. Highly entertaining.
* How often do you talk about concepts or facts? Why exactly do you talk about it, and what do you like talking about most?
Seems I’ve already answered this to an extent. I do like sharing my thoughts and knowledge with other people. I often spam my friends with long rants about whatever I find interesting in that particular moment, whether that be pottery, resin, weaponry, mathematics, typology, theology or ancient history. When I disagree with someone, I tend to interrogate them with “why” questions endlessly, questioning all their reasoning and making remarks like “if that is true, then what about x”, and such, in hopes of guiding them towards what I believe to correct with their own reasoning. I am curious about other people's beliefs in general. I suppose I often ask my friends questions I already know the answers to, just to enjoy their reasoning. Possibly a bit off-topic, but I believe it to be at least somewhat relevant.
* Do you struggle with thinking about things by yourself? Does this bother you, and how much? How well do you handle criticism from others when it comes to your logical concepts or factual knowledge?
I wouldn’t say I struggle to think about things by myself. I rather enjoy brainstorming, actually. Well, I am more fond of engaging in divergent thinking than I am convergent thinking, although I’m not especially insecure in either kind of thinking. As for how I handle criticism, it really depends. There have been moments where criticism has affected me to a significant extent and made me doubt my abilities. I am usually open to criticism, though.
* Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?
I would say that it is a relatively major part of my identity. The topic wasn’t especially boring. I’m fairly adept at finding enjoyment in most activities. I’ve always enjoyed answering questionnaires and surveys, probably because I’m quite fond of categorizing things. This topic isn’t especially difficult to answer.

E (emotion)

* Do you consider yourself a creative person? What do you do that's creative?
I do consider myself a fairly creative person. I often create stories in my head, generally containing relatively elaborate storylines and power systems. I don’t know the exact amount, but I’ve probably made at least 30 full fledged stories, with a proper beginning, middle and end, and there are hundreds of stories drifting around in my head that I’ve never ended up finishing. Though, I am hesitant about sharing my stories with friends. Ideas generally come naturally to me.
* How do you feel about expressing your own emotions? Are emotions part of your decision-making at all? How much of a role do they play in your decisions?
I can be quite expressive of my emotions around friends. I don’t necessarily dislike the act of showing my emotions, but showcasing negative emotions can make me feel weak. I can be fairly reserved in how I present my emotions around people I’m not hugely familiar with, or in large groups. I would still consider myself to be decently expressive though, and I don’t necessarily mind that. As for my decision making, I’m uh, struggling to properly answer that part of the question. My emotions do affect my decisions, of course, but I don’t know to what extent. I consider myself a fairly emotional person. I definitely weigh certain emotions when making decisions, such as shame and fear, along with excitement, and in social settings, I tend to consider other people’s feelings to a fairly large extent.
* How much effort do you put into creating a positive emotional influence on other people? Do you try to do this at all? Do you like exploring the emotions or creativity of others?
Creating a positive emotional influence on other people isn’t my top priority per se, but I do often tell friends and family I appreciate them, and I’ve gotten into the gotten into the habit of trying to make people feel fulfilled emotionally. I do like caring for others emotionally, but it can feel a bit awkward. I don’t always know what to say when consoling others, but I’ve gotten reasonably comfortable comforting others over time. I am very curious about the minds of others. I try to figure out how other people’s emotions and thought processes work, which can often lead me to spamming others with questions. I don’t particularly care for exploring or manifesting the creativity of others, though.
* Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of sharing your emotions? Do you struggle with knowing exactly how to connect with others on a deeper and more emotional level? Do you struggle with knowing how to go about dealing with and handling your emotions?
I don’t really mind sharing most of my emotions with close friends. Mostly, anyway. Outside of that, I’m not particularly fond of sharing negative emotions, since that can make me feel vulnerable. I don’t like feeling weak or vulnerable. I don’t believe I necessarily struggle with knowing how to connect with people. I do feel like I can connect with people fairly well, although I’m not sure how apparent it always is. My emotions can be bothersome at times. I suppose I don’t really know the best way of dealing with them yet, but that’ll likely come with time. I should already have enough tools at my disposal. When I’m at my healthiest and happiest, I tend to ignore my emotions, the ones holding me back, at least. That isn’t consistently the case, however. A bit off-topic, but I guess it might also be worth nothing that I have rather high stress levels. I don’t mind doing stressful things, though.
* Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?
I found answering the above questions to be reasonably enjoyable. Definitely wasn’t boring. I noticed that talking about expressing my negative emotions made me feel nauseous, which was interesting to see. I do enjoy observing my reactions. My emotions seem to be connected to my identity. I have strangely strong emotions, and I’ve been reflecting on them a lot as of late. I still feel nauseous, actually. Strangely beautiful. I’ve noticed that my attitude towards my emotions might be a bit inconsistent, I guess? I suddenly feel a lot more comfortable sharing my emotions. I suppose insecurities can be overcome.

F (physics / foundation)

* How much time and energy do you put into your physical health? Do you try new healthcare or self-care products often? How often, and what kinds of products do you like trying?
I’m not sure I would call my health a top priority, but I do consistently go to the gym, and I am very particular about wearing sunscreen whenever I go out in the sun. I don’t go out of my way to try new healthcare products. I use moisturizer and sunscreen, and that’s about it.
* How much do you care about your physical appearance, including fashion choices, or decorating the physical environment for comfort? Do you like exploring the physical environment (food, nature, architecture, etc), or doing physical activity?
I do care about my physical appearance, and I can feel insecure if I feel I look bad. I am generally pretty confident in my appearance, though I don’t really do much regarding it. I don’t care much about fashion or physical decoration. I do consider it very interesting to explore new places and environments. I’m a bit too curious in general, leading me to dejectedly mourn the fact that trespassing laws exis- uh. Anyway, I generally just want to explore the world as much as possible. Don’t have any particular opinions about food or physical activity. I suppose I occasionally admire other people’s sense of fashion.
* Do you like talking about your personal tastes often? How often do you explore the personal tastes of others? What about your own health or the health of others? Do you like creating or exploring comfortable environments with others?
Personal tastes? Nothing in particular that comes to mind at the moment. I suppose I’m a bit of an art connoisseur. I don’t really pay attention to my health very much. I do care about my skin health, and I don’t want to get wrinkles, but beyond superficial stuff like that, I don’t really care. Well actually, I do care about my physical strength. I want to be competent, and so I don’t want others to be stronger or faster than me. I pay attention to my hygiene and others’ hygiene. I’m particular about washing my hands thoroughly, and I maintain that others do so as well. I regularly shower and always apply perfume/deodorant. I don’t really care about creating comfortable environments with others.
* Do you stress about what people will think regarding your personal tastes? Do you prefer to follow fashion trends in worry that people may judge your own style? Do you worry about being sick or in poor physical health often? Are you able to take criticism about your health, aesthetic choices, personal tastes, or physical appearance?
I don’t really care if people judge my personal tastes. I’ve never really been the kind of person to care about following fashion trends. I don’t really mind getting sick, as being sick gives me an opportunity to relax comfortably. My ability to focus is also heightened while sick, for some reason or another, so that’s another perk. I don’t especially care about my health, personal tastes and aesthetic choices being criticized. My appearance I can be a little sensitive about, I suppose. I'm not sure I readily take advice regarding my appearance.
* Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?
Answering questions is fun in general, but this topic wasn’t particularly engaging, compared to the other ones. I don’t really consider my physical choices to be a large part of my identity, and I’m somewhat ambivalent about most things relating to this topic.

V (volition)

* Do you know how to get what you want? How much effort do you put into figuring out how to get what you want? Do you just take action and get started, do you plan, do you research or try to get advice from others?
I usually research before doing anything. I’m a naturally indecisive person, but really, taking action is better than being stuck in analysis paralysis. Taking action can be difficult for me at times, but it’s something that I’m getting better at. I don’t really spend much effort trying to figure out what I want, since I already have a fairly decent idea. I have a rough idea of what I want to make out of my life, and the idea of living it out is fairly exciting. My plans aren't especially precise, however. I have been anxious about whether I’ll be able to fulfill my plans in the past, but I’m not worried about that at the moment. I don’t really take advice from others regarding my life, although, I will occasionally discuss my plans with others, but I generally ignore advice that I don’t agree with.
* How often do you feel motivated to work on your future? How often are you busy working on a goal for the future? Do you prefer routine, or often fall into routine? Is your routine making progress on a goal? What makes you change your routine? What makes you start working on a goal?
My motivation is sporadic. While I have ideas for what to do in the future, I don’t currently have any long-term goals that I actively work towards. My goals are more fluid in nature. I tend to abandon routine when doing something that interests me. As mentioned earlier, I often neglect rest if I’m doing something I’m passionate about. Outside of that, I do appreciate having some semblance of a routine, as it does keep me grounded, I suppose. Competition and a desire not to waste my life are my main motivators to work on goals, along with general enthusiasm, of course.
* Do you like guiding or helping people reach their goals? What kinds of goals do you prefer to help people with? Are you a leader, or do you prefer to work in groups where you're an equal? How and when do you take charge, if ever?
I suppose I do try to motivate others to an extent. There have been moments where I’ve attempted to get my friends to better themselves, take initiative, or to think less pessimistically, but that’s about it. I don’t mind motivating others on occasion, but it isn’t a focus of mine. I generally don’t opt for leadership roles, largely because I dislike the responsibilities attached. I don’t like being bossed around, though. I often take charge when working in smaller groups, and that can be nice.
* Do you overwork yourself? Do you worry that you might be lazy or that you aren't progressing quickly enough? Does it feel impossible to find the right method forward? Are you able to take criticism over your choices for working towards your goals? How do you respond to being challenged?
I experienced burnout a little while ago, and during that period, I did sometimes worry about being “lazy”, to the point where I remember someone calling me lazy in one of my dreams. That has lessened as my mental health has improved. Outside of that, I do dislike “wasting time” and not being productive, although in my case, being productive simply means to use my time decisively and purposefully. I don’t necessarily care very much about what most people associate with productivity. What I personally want to do matters more. It depends, but I will often attempt to prove myself when challenged.
* Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?
It was interesting. It was definitely a little harder to write about than physics was. I do consider volition to be important, and it is definitely something that I relate to my identity. I want to control my own life and live it without other people’s influence, and I want to become more assertive. Talking about volition isn’t particularly stressful, it soothes my heart, actually. Though, the topic has stressed me out some amount before, likely because I was dealing with burnout, though.

Additional

* Please share any mental or physical health struggles or diagnoses that may affect your answers or how you interact with the world
Asperger’s syndrome.
* You may also optionally share a rough age range to help clarify your current life circumstances for anyone reading
18-20 years old.
* Let us know anything else about you that might affect your answers or how you interact with the world
I am genuinely curious what I'm expected to write here. My other typology, perhaps? Well, that sounds like it would be more fun for you to reason out on your own, so I shall refrain from mentioning it, for I am a varlet.

So, I grew up with parents who had me for show but didn't necessarily want to spend time with me. The idea of playing with me or just interacting in general was not appealing to then. They were focused on building their rental house empire & leaving the kids home while they went on vacations.
My parents used to take me & my siblings on long walks or hikes every day so we'd be too tired to do anything by the time we got home. We'd eat dinner early and they'd put us to bed around 8. Literally every day, and the kids who were too small to walk were carried or put in a stroller.
So, if you're wondering why the need to take a bunch of kids hiking in the heat and dust every single day, it's because they'd rather do that than actually play with them, buy them toys, allow them to have friends, etc.

My girlfriend and her brother got invited to be apart of a wedding by one of her relatives and she if I could come to it. Initially I said no because I don’t want to spend money buying a suit for a family event that has nothing to do with me. I don’t own one, and the way everything is so expensive now I can’t afford to even rent one. She told me that I wasn’t going to be apart of the wedding so I didn’t need one but just needed to dress nicely. I said “okay cool, then I’ll be there!” And left it at that. However, a problem (her brother) before the actual problem came in the picture. No idea why she felt the need to tell her brother my reason as to why I initially said no to going in the first place especially if I said I would come. They were talking to each other while I was in the bathroom drying off my hands but I overheard him calling me stupid, selfish, and too cheap for giving that “lame” excuse. I walked in the room and just death stared at the both of them then left while the brother was trying to apologize for his behavior. We’ve been friends for years but because he thinks its funny to talk down about me for no reason we’ve fallen off and this was just another case of that. Strike 1.
The actual problem arose when I got a call yesterday from my girlfriend telling me the dress code for the guests, and guess what…. The men need to wear suits. She was explaining that if I couldn’t go then she’d understand. I just sighed and told her I’ll make it happen but in the possible event that I don’t due to the amount of bills that I have to pay, then I apologize. Strike 2.
She calls again today, I was told the wedding is in the middle of next week so I should have enough time to come up with the money for a suit. I get paid this week on Wednesday so I told her that and she said “What do you mean? The wedding is in a few days on that specific day.” I’m confused now because its the beginning of a new week and was told its next week. Her reason is being that Sundays are considered part of last week and the actual start of a new week begins on Monday. I explained that it doesn’t work like that because if that was the case, Monday would be the very first day of every week on the calendar. She decides to call her brother and explain both of our logics and of course he agrees with her and starts to talk shit not knowing that I’m literally connected to the call. I told him “This is the second time I’ve heard you talking reckless about me over damn near nothing, either you or both of yall clearly have been doing this for some time but if I hear it again its gonna be issues.” That wasn’t the the main issue but its the fact that I’ve explained that money is tight, I have upcoming bills, and I literally said that I was going to need a suit. To add the cherry on top, her brother won’t shut the fuck up about me which has now created unnecessary tension between us. Strike 3
WIBTA if I decide not to go?

Omg this is so long, TLTR: I am from south america, I want to leave my country due to safety and money. But I mostly date asian men. Considering this, which country should I pick? 🇺🇲🇨🇦🇦🇺🇳🇿🇬🇧? or 🇸🇬🇹🇼🇨🇳?
Ok for context I'm from a small town in latam and I have more traditional views on dating but I'm not religious. I'm in my early 20s. White passing latina.
DATING HISTORY: Previously, I dated a man from my country, but I broke up with him due to the fact I was a teenager and he was much older than me. We were going to get married when I turned 18 but I felt that it was not the right thing to do.
Then, out of curiosity, I went on a date with a chinese man from the local chinese restaurant jaja. I had never been interested in asian culture or anything before. We had a language barrier but instead of it becoming an issue, this motivated me to learn mandarin. We ended up dating for two years, we had plans of marriage but we eventually broke up because he was having issues with his business and he didn't want me to struggle because of him. Dating him made me realize that asian men tend to have similar views as me, without necessarily being religious or much older than me. He made me feel safe, as men from my country usually murder their wives over anything. My mom, who is very racist despite being a woc, was against me dating asian men but now she is kinda accepting it.
After him, I kinda lost interest in men of other races, so when I went back to dating I only accepted dates from asian men. I spend some time in the capital city and was able to go on dates with 🇰🇷,🇯🇵,🇸🇬, 🇻🇳 men and other 🇨🇳 men. I'm now back in my small town and I'm seeing another chinese man, but he is here for a work project, he could go back to china in any moment.
THE ISSUE: Now, the issue. My country has become extremely unsafe. Also, it depresses me seeing how people in other countries make in one month what here would take months to save, how minimum wage workers there make what an engineer with masters would make here. I feel like I NEED to leave. I want to leave after I finish my studies and get some work experience in my field. Also, my country has a very small asian population. The asian men I went on dates here were only vacationing or on work trips.
PROS AND CONS: 🇺🇲: Kinda my last option. Lots of asian men, fellow latinos and mixed people. But the safety is the same or worse than my country. The healthcare sucks, you can't even take walks, the public transportation sucks, the food is gross. People seem dumb. 🇦🇺: I really like the idea, but I've seen mixed opinions about it. 🇳🇿: I don't like the climate, but I could get used to it. 🇬🇧: My opinion on 🇺🇲 and 🇳🇿 combined.
Now about asian countries like🇨🇳🇸🇬🇹🇼 I'm concerned about how it is raising a mixed kid there:/

Barely standing and gasping for air, Nathan takes a moment to stop running and realizes he has no idea where he is going. He begins looking around to see if there’s anywhere to hide or even, hopefully, find food or at least water. After a moment, he finally spots a few buildings in the nearby distance. With high hopes, Nathan sprints past the remaining trees ahead and makes it to the buildings. Only one specific building catches his eye. A large sign that reads GROCERY stares at Nathan from the top of the building. Without hesitation, he rushes inside and much to his amazement, there are aisles! Nathan quickly but quietly scans each aisle. Sadly, he sees nothing. Not until he sees a small pile of snacks lying next to a fallen end cap at the end of an aisle. Excitement dances through Nathan’s body as he runs to the food and begins eating it like a wild animal. He devours every ounce of food he finds until he suddenly hears an unnerving sound. Listening closely as possible, Nathan hears the sound of cracking bones and ripping flesh. Afraid, yet curious, he looks around the corner of the aisle and spots the legs of a woman lying in her own blood and entrails. Upon further inspection, Nathan sees what he believes to be the creature he and Charlie had seen before. It’s a large thin four-legged animal that most likely was a wolf at one point but is now just a beast. It’s feasting on the entrails of the woman’s corpse and refusing to take its taste buds away from its food. That is until it hears Nathan, who accidentally steps on a bag of chips. It swiftly averts its attention to Nathan and the sight of its face is terrifying. Its face is half torn and its eyes show exactly how bloodthirsty it is. With blood and entrails dangling from its teeth, the beast fully turns its body to Nathan and lets out a deep and disturbing growl. Believing this to be his final moments alive, Nathan backs up and stumbles into the wall with his eyes closed and fists clenched. He is ready for the reaper to take his soul. The beast closes in on him and readies itself to charge its prey but is suddenly distracted by the voice of unwanted company. “Heel, you stupid mutt!” It’s once again Subject Zero, who is this time covered in large amounts of blood. The beast diverts its attention to Subject Zero and prepares for a fight. Unsure as to why Subject Zero didn’t just let the beast kill him, Nathan, stands and stares in terrified confusion. As Nathan watches, Subject Zero is attacked by the beast after a failed attempt at taming it. Directly after its attack, the beast is grabbed and bashed against a wall then thrown to the floor. The animal, no longer looking like a beast compared to Subject Zero, stands again and viciously sinks its teeth into Subject Zero’s arm but its life is soon ended. With a large and swift pull on the animal’s rear legs with its teeth still bore into Subject Zero’s arm, its body rips apart and its entrails fall out onto the floor. “I knew you were a waste,” Subject Zero says with disappointment in his voice. Nathan quickly snaps back to reality and runs out the nearby emergency exit. No longer caring about hunger or thirst, he just keeps running and doesn’t stop even when he stumbles from exhaustion. Inevitably, any hope he once had, is lost when in the not so far distance he hears, “Just because the mutt didn’t kill you, that doesn’t mean that I won’t!” Still running further into the woods, Nathan begins to stumble. He finally stops and falls to his knees as he begins to believe he is going to die here. He falls onto his back and lies in the grass around him while releasing a long but relaxing sigh. Nathan can feel the cold hard ground beneath him as he looks up to the sky. Filled with raging guilt and regrets, Nathan stares up to the sky in silence. It gets so silent, he can hear everything around him. He hears the wind sing through the leaves of trees. He can even hear water flowing nearby. Water! Unsure of where, he looks up quickly and listens. Finally, he spots a creek nearby and climbs to his hands and knees. Unable to fully stand, Nathan crawls his way to the creek ignoring all of his surroundings. He reaches the creek and practically bathes himself in the near freezing water in an attempt to feel refreshed. Afterwards, he begins to guzzle the water in handfuls. After many handfuls of water, Nathan notices something odd. The water tastes metallic as if you were sucking on an old copper penny or silver spoon. Upon this realization, he also notices the color of the water seems off. Unsure of why, he looks around only to find something far more disturbing than he imagined. An amalgamation of mutilated corpses sit nearby rotting on the rocks of the creek shore. Realizing he had just drank water contaminated with rotting corpses of innocent people, Nathan starts getting a sick feeling in his stomach and attempts to look away but can’t get his eyes off the sight. Finally breaking, he begins gagging vigorously. He loses control and starts puking uncontrollably before ultimately collapsing from pain and disgust. Nathan finally gets up after lying on the ground for a moment. Hoping to find at least some form of shelter, he manages to get himself up to his aching feet and stumbles his way down the creek. Eventually, he reaches the end of the creek where a large pipe is sticking out from the ground at an angle. The pipe, being large enough to fit a man, seems like a perfect place to shelter in. Before fully deciding to sleep there, Nathan looks inside hoping that it may lead to an exit from the dome but is quickly disappointed when he sees only dirt and mud. Nathan no longer cares and decides to climb into the pipe. He manages to make it an adequate resting area. Soon after, he is unable to keep his eyes open and finally falls asleep. “Nathan, wake up. You’re going on live television.” A very familiar voice whispers to Nathan. He opens his eyes expecting to see different surroundings, but instead, he sees Charlie sitting next to him in an unfamiliar building. Obviously confused, Nathan hesitates to even move but decides to go with it. He’s led out to a room with a male interviewer, revealing that he is on a live television interview. The interviewer looks to the camera and says, “Welcome to TalkTime, I’m your host, Tim Wiesly, and today, we have Nathan White. Just in case you don’t know, Nathan is a brilliant reporter and reports anything in the most brilliant ways. One specific story he covered about his near-death experience is what we would like to talk about today. So, Nathan, could you tell the viewers more about your experience?” Nathan hesitates at first but oddly starts believing that he made it out of the hell he was in and just dissociated. He starts telling the interviewer everything that happened to him. “Well, Tim, for starters, my colleague and I had found evidence that Envirodome was a test facility. Little did we know, one test they ran there was still in the facility after decades. We then found all the missing people over the years but they were unfortunate and passed away at the hands of the facilities test subject. I eventually lost my colleague and had a run in with a rabid animal as well but I got away and managed to find a place to sleep. After that, I climbed out and decided to… to…” Nathan stops in his tracks as he realizes he can’t remember what happened after the tunnel. “Wait. Wait, this can’t be real. I vividly remember Charlie going insane. And all those other people started losing their minds and they all started killing each other. I remember all that, yet I can’t remember a damn thing after falling asleep in that tunnel! What the fuck is going on?” Charlie comes running out and attempts to calm Nathan but fails as Nathan screams back. “You’re dead! You’re fucking dead! I know you are! You aren’t real. None of you, none of this! None of it is real!” Soon after realizing everything is fake, all of Nathan’s surroundings start changing. Everything around him becomes morbidly dark and people become mutated corpses, all of which walk over to him. They all start screaming at Nathan, resulting in him breaking and he loses his mind to the brink of insanity. Out of the dark shadows, Subject Zero walks into the area as if he were a dark god who created him and was ready to destroy him. Suddenly, everyone surrounding Nathan abruptly stops screaming and looks at him. Then they all in perfect sync say, “You’re losing control, Nathan.” Nathan angrily stands tall and yells, “Leave me alone!” After this fierce scream with his eyes shut, Nathan suddenly hears nothing but the sound of running water. He opens his eyes only to find he was still in the town under the dome. Only, now, it is somehow nighttime. Suddenly, he’s startled by the sound of splashing water. Nathan quietly looks up from the inside of the tunnel he’s lying in. In a decent distance away, Nathan sees two mannequins throwing multiple bodies into the already corpse-filled creek. Although, one body stands out amongst the rest. Charlie's. His body is mangled and mutilated. Nathan feels sick and guilty as he stares at his dead friend. Soon, Subject Zero’s voice is heard, resulting in Nathan realizing he needs to sneak out of the area. He quickly climbs out of the tunnel and looks around. He decides his best option is to go in one direction until he hopefully reaches an edge of the dome. He believes it may help him reach the overseer’s office where the self-destruct button is. With his new plan, Nathan quietly sneaks away until he accidentally rams into the edge of the dome. He becomes angry at first for being dumb enough to run into it, but eventually realizes he could be on his way to salvation. Nathan, still tired, stumbles around the edge of the dome and looks strange considering the walls are simulated to look like more land. Even though Nathan can barely handle all the stress, he still forces himself to keep moving with high hopes to avenge his deceased friend. He keeps going until he stumbles over a small brush pile. He falls onto his face and notices blood pouring from his nose. Assuming his nose has broken from the fall, Nathan quickly checks it but oddly there is no pain and the bleeding has already stopped. He’s confused but doesn’t care as he’s determined to escape. He gets up and eventually reaches an odd looking spot of the dome wall. With a closer look, he realizes it’s a door. Full of hope, Nathan quickly opens it and discovers a staircase leading to the overseer’s office. Nathan runs up without hesitation. He reaches the top of the stairs and makes it to the controls. Being dark, Nathan feels around for a light switch but as he thinks it, the lights come on. Now with light, he sees papers lying everywhere, all with information of the dome. Apparently, the government had the technology to make all this without ever letting the public know. It was built with a self-destruct button as safety measures if anything within the dome went horribly wrong. Although Nathan thought it would be an explosion as most self-destruct buttons cause, the dome was made to disassemble itself as it counted down, allowing the slight possibility of reaching the only entrance and exit doors of the facility. Nathan realizes he may actually have a chance to escape this hell and avenge his friend. After a small pause, he gets back to searching for the self-destruct button. He stumbles across a glass casing labeled ‘FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY’. Nathan opens the casing and prepares to press the button but is quickly distracted as a voice breaks the silence. “This place hasn’t been real after all these damned years?” Subject Zero reacts angrily as he slowly walks toward Nathan. “I knew this place seemed a bit small, but now that I know I can get out of here, I’ll bring my tests to the whole damn world!” “Why would you even want that?! Every single test you have done with that fucking serum has been a failure!” “No… No, I’ve perfected my serum.” “What the FUCK do you mean?” Without a single other word, Subject Zero rushes toward Nathan. Nathan quickly reacts and raises his arms in defense. Suddenly, Subject Zero flies backwards as if he was shoved with incredible force. They both now know Nathan was the cause. “That. That is what I mean.” Subject Zero says with a grin on his face. “No, no, what the fuck. How?!” “You really think I didn’t take the opportunity to inject a new version of the serum into you.” “But- but there wasn’t an injection hole. Everyone else had one.” “That’s the great thing about it. I perfected it so much that your healing is far greater than even mine AND you didn’t lose your mind like I did. That’s all I ever wanted…” “Screw you…” Nathan clenches his fist and swings a punch at Subject Zero. Realizing things move just from his thought now, Nathan opens his hand and telekinetically throws things at Subject Zero. The two begin to have an all-out super powered brawl as Subject Zero explains to Nathan that the serum is why every pain he’s felt while in the dome went away nearly immediately. The telekinesis just happened to come into play later on. Then suddenly, Nathan is slammed through and out the overseer’s office windows. Subject Zero jumps down onto him. Nathan gets weaker with each hit he takes but still fights on. Before he gets up, he notices that where the broken window is, the walls show their true colors of concrete gray and glass. Aside from the window, Nathan notices the door to the office is still wide open. He quickly gives Subject Zero a powerful kick to his abdomen and jumps up to run. Nathan runs quickly up the stairs and to the self-destruct button after leaving his enemy on the ground outside. As he reaches the button, Nathan looks out the broken window at Subject Zero and prepares to press the button. Nathan slams his hand onto the button as Subject Zero yells out in hatred. Nathan, expecting something to happen, waits. Subject Zero laughs hysterically but then suddenly is cut off by a loud voice projecting across the whole dome. “COMMENCING SELF-DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE.” Nathan notices Subject Zero is distracted and uses this as his chance to escape. 10, 9, 8…… The countdown begins and the sun begins to rise as Nathan runs out of the office and past the unaware Subject Zero. 7, 6, 5…… The countdown continues and the facility begins to collapse as Nathan passes through the woods where he drank from the creek and soon passes the concrete room where the other people were held captive. 4, 3, 2…… The countdown gets closer to an end as the dome collapses quicker and Nathan rushes past the old house he was stuck in before. Soon enough, he gets onto the road that led him and Charlie to the town inside the dome and gets even closer to the door but suddenly Subject Zero is following behind. This time, he’s so angry and determined, Subject Zero uses his telekinetic powers to control the mangled corpses that he’s kept. He’s headed for either the door or Nathan, but Nathan doesn’t care. 1…… The countdown comes to an end and the entire dome collapses above. Subject Zero, far behind with his army of corpses, stops and accepts what is coming but Nathan keeps running in hopes to escape before the weight of a million tons comes crashing down onto him. Soon enough, the dome becomes nothing but rubble. The entire area where the dome once stood, is now a ginormous pile of rubble and all that stands are a few trees and small bits of buildings. Nothing could have lived from inside. Unless you were close to the doors. Nathan, barely standing or even really alive, stumbles around the rubble. With his new powers, he uses his telekinesis to move a large piece of steel revealing a small group of men nearby. Within this group are a couple of men who are clearly scientists of some sort but the others are clearly military. Nathan runs to them with hopes of help but suddenly… “Stop right there!” One of the men yells out angrily but with a quiver in his voice. “Put your heads above your head and don’t speak!” “Wait! I just need help!” “I said put your hands above your head!” Nathan is confused so he looks around in the hopes that maybe Subject Zero is who he spotted. Sadly, the guns are all being aimed straight for him.

So I want to go on a date with my boyfriend that is actually fun for the both of us. We've known each other for 6 years now, but got together only recently. We both have a lot of food allergies so I'd prefer not to do something requiring food. Quite frankly, I don't know what good ideas there are. I want to do something that requires conversation, not something like going to see a movie. We're both 19 if that helps. I hope I made some sense. Any suggestions/advice? Thanks.

Sorry this post got so long and was not meant to be an AITAH post, but this is something I still think of to this day. Some background I'm absolutely all about making others feel special on special days and the like. When warranted I tend to go out of my way for the people I care about and it's rarely reciprocated. The later has only been a recent revelation that I've finally woken up to because of getting married.
Now on to the story.....
I (42F) married my husband (44M) Feb 14, 2022. I know it's cliche to have your wedding on Valentine's Day but we consider that to be our 1st date anniversary as well so we stuck with it. That's not really the issue although I could probably write a whole other story about that as well.
I digress, my story actually is about my bachelorette party or lack there of. I had a hard time picking my bridal party, as I don't have that many close girlfriends most women just don't like me, and that's ok. But my husband has a large friend group so i needed to to fill out my side of the bridal party. So I ended up with a bridal party consisting of Only 1 of my bio sisters (the other 2 not included for reasons that can start a whole other bridal rant), my SIL, my bestie, my cousin, a mutual friend of myself and sisters and my husband’s bestie (whom I love dearly.) Now I had junior bridesmaids and groomsmen as well so as to incorporate our children in all aspects of the wedding, we even had a sand ceremony, but they don't matter to this portion of the story except to say that my idea of a great bachelorette would've been able to include them.
I love the idea of a joint bachelobachelorette weekend but because my husband's friends already had his planned the minute (I do mean the absolute minute) I was introduced to them, the joint party wasn't an option. I made it clear to my Bio sis and SIL that the bachelorette weekend was something I didn't want to have to plan myself as I was planning and putting together everything for the wedding and reception and it was something I would rather they handled as my MOHs. I did let them know I would prefer lowkey, something like an AirBNB with maybe a pool so we can just get together for some poolside drinks and private Karaoke (1 of my fav things to do), but no bar hoping or Vegas trip was necessary as most of the people who would be invited were mothers who rarely ever did that kind of thing anymore.
They had a year and a half to plan so, I thought, plenty of time. 6 months out from the wedding my husband had dates and flights (all arranged and paid for my the groomsmen) and he asked me what the plan was for my bachelorette. I told him I didn't have a clue as nothing had been told to me about it. The Bridesmaids had their on chat without me for them to go back and forth about particulars and what have you without getting me involved, exactly how I wanted it. So we asked and my sis said they had nothing nailed down because they couldn't get a consensus on what to do. I asked what was the possible details and she gave an enormous 1dy rundown that basically had us driving all over town crossing 3 separated county lines that included drinking at every stop. All of this with no overnight accommodations for anyone. Most of my guest are unfamiliar with the areas we would be in and it was basically the exact opposite of what I had suggested. I asked about what I had suggested and she stated the cost was too much and many people were saying that traveling was going to be an issue.
At this point I'm now wondering if it's even going to happen at all. My sis tells me don't worry we will do something. So I let it go. My main concern at that point was not to be a "Bridezilla" as everyone was afraid I would be. A few more weeks pass and my sis tells me about the bridal shower she and my SIL planned. It was a nice 2hr brunch and I was super happy it was done but let's face it, it's not a bachelorette. So I asked my bestie and my husband's bestie what was up with it. I was told that no one was able to commit to a date and an event. So I tried to get involved at that point because I really needed to know if anything was happening. They all assured me that they work together and get back to me.
It's now a month out from our wedding and I haven't heard anything. My husband's bachelor weekend had come and gone and still no word on mine. So i get into the chat and ask hey so whats up with Bachelorette wknd? Crickets. Finally I get an answer about 2dys later saying that there was nothing planned because they never got a consensus. So I asked that if I got an AirBNB and made the plans who would be able to attend. I got no response. This is when it occurred to me that the problem wasn't that they couldn't decide but that no one was actually interested.
It made me feel bad. Each of these people had been made to feel special on there special days by me in one way or the other. I wasn't even in my sis's wedding party but I was the one who made her bachelorette weekend happen. I planned, coordinated, set up, bought liquor, purchased and did her hair and cleaned up her venue for her own wedding only 2yrs prior. I personally drove my brother and my SIL to Vegas in my car on my gas and paid for everything for them to get married when they were fresh out of high school and 18yrs and none of our parents wanted it. The others (except husband's bestie at that point but have since) have had similar experience with me. But this one thing no one seemed interested in.
For context....For my wedding I was determined to be a non-bridezilla so I made it easy on everyone my main and only real request was for everyone to wear white rompers as i would be wearing Champagne and Rose Gold. Their accessories I was purchasing they were only responsible for shoes in the specified color for there position. I didn't rope anyone into helping with wedding prep or any projects specific to the wedding. They only had to take care of bachelorette weekend. So I guess it is an AITA post after all....lol...
But really tho AITA for being hurt by this?

Okay I’m going to be upfront about what I’m looking for. If you’re not into it, it’s fine. I like in Canada and I’m looking for a lady friend who is willing to be my best friend. I’ve realized that I do need someone in my life who into the same things I’m into. Video games, tv shows, movies, anime, cooking, and just chilling in general. I’m not too adventurous, but I am willing to try new things.
I am heavier. I don’t think I’m extremely overweight but yes I am larger and I really like good food. I don’t really care if people are larger like me as long as we get along.
I struggle with anxiety and depression pretty regularly but I’m always upfront about how I’m feeling. I don’t pretend everything is okay when they aren’t and I expect the same. I know it can be hard to talk about it sometimes so I won’t pry if it’s an issue but please at least let me know something is up. I talk about my problems when they come up.
I will not try to start anything sexual from the beginning. I know it takes time to build trust and it’s important for me to trust people and for them to trust me. If whoever wants to start something I’m down I just want them to feel comfortable with it.
I’m tired of feeling lonely but struggle with the idea of intimate relationships with women. It’s not a physical self image thing. It’s more of a history of real bad experiences and getting treated poorly by my partners. I want to let someone in and I am willing to try.
I think that’s it. Feel free to DM me or respond if you’re interested in this hot mess lol.

TLDR: my fiancé cheated on me but I think it’s because I didn’t know I was toxic? AITA for not giving up on fighting for us and for exposing his affair to his mother who says he was just helping another person?
24M , 24F year old, been together for 9, engaged for 2 years since we were 14. No other relationship before eachother. Well suddenly one day he leaves after playing pickle ball with our friends, saying “I can’t do this anymore”. For approximately 5 weeks he switches between talking to me and ghosting me. Me thinking it’s a mental Health situation because he was in his final term of his masters program and was rightly stressed continuously showed up for him through these 5 weeks by texting him every night saying I loved him and hope he had a good day, I maintained our house and our life, I would tell him it was okay that he was prioritizing himself and working through his tough emotions, I started therapy, started working in attachment theory work books, started reading about healthy marriages.
Turns out he was having an affair with a married woman in another state who is married and has two children. I confront him about it in a 10 page letter expressing my deep love and devotion and appreciation for him and what I can tolerate with the affair if he does come home and he says it isn’t a big deal and isn’t the reason he is leaving the relationship. We agree on another week break where he stops all contact with me and the affair partner, he ghosts me on the day we are supposed to me then another week goes by and he calls and ends things, saying I was emotionally abusive, I was toxic and tried to control him, i was mean to him and he was scared of me, I tried to keep him from his family, I was never happy with him. Stuff he has never said before in the 9 years we’ve been together. My heart is completely broken.
2 weeks after being broken up we are still trying to split apart our lives and move out etc. the weekend before we are supposed to be out of the apartment I get a notification on our joint emails that he is flying to her state. I tell his mom because I’m extremely worried about him, his safety, moving out, him coming back, etc. I want someone to keep him safe to the best of their ability. I wash my hands with it, learn how to sign out of everything and leave the rest up to his family. Two days later on the day he is supposed to fly back his affair partners family reaches out to me saying she left her two children and spouse to be with my ex and they are worried he is going to run away and skip states to avoid child support. I freak out and let his mom know what I know so that she can help him and keep him from doing something stupid like running away and not finishing his degree and she doesn’t sound too mentally stable to just leave her children after only meeting a person once.
Fast forward to now he hates me, blocked me on everything, his family won’t talk to me and has blocked me, our mutual friends dropped me from their upcoming wedding, and him and his family told me I wasn’t allowed back at the house and that they had moved out on time, the day before we have to be out of the old apartment I show up to meet the carpet cleaners and the fridge/ freezer is still full and there is a pile of garbage in the garage including a couch, and because he flew to her state the weekend he was supposed to move out the trash never got taken out and so the trash bins were overflowing with garbage and raccoons had drug trash all over the back yard. I have to clean to the best of my ability and rent a uhaul and pack all the garbage and the couch all by myself and pay for the dump fees.
It’s been a truly crazy roller coaster. I am completely shattered, I lost my best friend, my love, my partner of 9 years and half my family. They have treated me beyond poorly. I know I violated his privacy by not signing out of our joint email sooner and I shouldn’t have looked through his journal with all his plans to cheat and what she meant to him but our wedding guest list and list of baby names were in there and it was never a personal journal.
I am about 2 weeks out from all this and I know I don’t deserve this but I do see that my behaviors in our relationship might have driven him away. Ex. During very intense conflict I would attack his character and say things like “you don’t care” or “you don’t love me” or “I’m just not the woman that makes you want to do special things for” or “you are such a mommas boy” or “man you are a bad fiancé sometimes” or “you are being garbage right now”. I would become deeply upset if he went to spend time with others because I felt like we didn’t spend time together which is true we rarely went on dates or spent time together once we started workin full time, I would be sad if he didn’t come home after trips to visit his family on time and would revisit the hurt often in conflict as examples for how he would prioritize others over us. I was truly very toxic but I had no idea.
Whenever we did have conflict I would ask him what I needed to do to make him feel more loved and heard but he would just say I was perfect and if he did say anything at all it was that I needed to be happier and fight with him less. I live with so much regret, I never knew I was hurting him and us. I am putting in the work to be a more secure partner for whoever loves me next or if he comes back. He truly hates me now. I wish we could have been able to talk better before we hurt eachother in these ways. I don’t know what he is telling our friends and his family but I’m not some crazy ex, I only ever tried to love him and care for him and be his number one fan. I loved him so good on most days. I would have done anything for him. I know I’m capable of being a more secure partner because all through the 5 weeks of him using me and manipulating me and learning about his affair I only showed him kindness, love, respect, appreciation, and compassion.
He says I’m pathetic and a fool because I didn’t let him go easily (wrote him 3, 5 to 24 page letters about all he means to me and what being loved by him means and what I’ve learned about my attachment style and steps I was taking to improve) but I don’t think anyone has the right to judge how you handle trying to keep everything you love and every hope and dream.
There is this theory that if you do a thousand paper cuts (my behavior in conflict and when I was missing him) eventually you will create a chasm that is so deep and so wide nothing will be able to fix it. I think he and I built a chasm and his affair was the symptom. He is the love of my life and I tried hard, I did everything within my power, not to let him slip through my heart but in the end everything I did only made him hate me and lose everything I ever wanted. My soul is shattered and I don’t even want to pick up the pieces. How much of this is my fault?

Landin-
Your birthday draws near...a mere week away. First, let me say, I'll be writing out to you each day from now to then.
Do you remember the night we met? Of course you do 🥰
Enamored, captivated, the night our lives changed forever...the night we fell in love. In that initial moment of our coming together, we became more than we'd ever been, known, or though possible. We've only continued to bloom from there.
I don't know EXACTLY what I'm doing for your birthday yet, but I promise, you're going to love it. (I ALMOST enjoy I don't have my details and ideas sorted or finalized, you know, I'd all ready be telling you what they are lol).
Will we share our first dance, our first kiss, or even more? I can see us already gazing and falling into each other's eyes as we reunite. What happens from there, who says we have any say? Maybe we tear into each other like wild animals in heat (not that I'm against that either lol).
I will tell you two things to close this letter...one, I will be singing to you...and two...well, let's just leave it at...you KNOW 💚💙🧡
Love always, my King,
Alex

This honestly sounds ridiculous… but looking for advice on how to get my cat to overcome her fear of her cat tree.
This is a new thing that just started a few days ago. She used to love this cat tree because it’s super tall and has a lot of platforms for laying near a window/sunbathing. However, I recently bought her a new food bowl for her dry food. It looks the same in structure as her old one- except it’s shaped/painted like a mushroom lol. I just wanted another so I could rotate. Her dry food bowl is always kept on one of the platforms in this cat tree, as it keeps our dogs from eating it.
She free feeds her dry food, so when I went to refill it after switching them I noticed it was untouched. I didn’t even consider she might be afraid of the bowls? So I picked her up to show her the dry food and she FLEW out of my arms and scratched up my stomach🙃
Now she refuses to even go near the cat tree/food bowl where this incident occurred. I have since switched back to her old bowl, but she still acts fearful of the cat tree. I brought this new mushroom bowl with food downstairs for her to eat because I was scared she’d go on a hunger strike. And she actually will eat out of the mushroom bowl now. BUT she still won’t go near her cat tree?? I know she’s just associating that incident with her cat tree, but I’m so unsure what to do.
How do I get her to overcome this? She’s always been really skiddish, so I should’ve figured she’d be afraid of a new bowl. I didn’t really think she’d notice because of how similar it is to her old bowl.
I’m not forcing her to get on it because I know that would make it worse. I’ve given her churu’s on the floor near the tree but that’s as close as she’ll get.. I know this is a stupid concern but any ideas??

So, I have the main (and only) enemy stand for a story I am writing, but I have no idea what to name it. The point of the stand is twofold: to protect the stand arrow it has+ create more stand users (similar to black sabboth(?)) but also to make it's users friendships and close relationships. The issue is that it's user is a fucking jackass. Like a huge dick and kind of a sociopath. He has no interest in his stand or making friends
The stand activates once it's user and five other people are alone together and can be made stand users. All non stand users are made stand users, and the stand assigns each of them a role. Knight (it's user), Wizard, Blacksmith, Princess/ Damsel, King and Queen. Each role as a, well, role to play. I haven't fully decided on them except for Knight and Damsel.
Damsel: The stand dooms the Damsel, and if they are not rescued from the stand by the knight within (insert time, probably a week) the stand will start trying to kill them in a similar manner to Wonder of U, but much more targeted and malicious (planes crash on them, their ventilation starts to fail if in something like a saferoom, parasites are in their food, the mob puts a hit out on them, etc etc)
Knight: the only role that can actually save the damsel, the knight has to "Fight and defeat" the stand before a week runs out to save the princess, getting to battle the stand only after completing the "quests" that the other roles have. The issue is that, of course, it's user (jack) has no interest in any of this and is completely willing to let the damsel die (he's gone through this before and knows that the stand deactivates once the quest is failed.)
TLDR: Stand puts 6 people into a teambuilding puzzle room using someone's life as hostage and motivation.
Anyway, I need a good name for this stand. Anyone have a good idea?

Hell I everyone, I am a newly 20 yr old girlfriend of 2weeks and a virgin. I told my boyfriend that I am waiting til marriage the very first date we hung out. He said he still wanted to date me. He later brought up a conversation that he wouldn't marry me unless we had sex. I got upset at this comment and was like well maybe we should break up because if you can't see us getting married in the first place why be together because I'm waiting til marriage. I told him one of the main reasons I haven't lost my virginity is because I haven't found anyone that really cared about me which I haven't done this day and time but thought I won the jackpot with him. I really like him and he's great. He also made a comment about if I never have sex. With him wed broke up and I wouldn't want that to happen. He stated after the conversation that he was sorry and that he politely wanted me to change my mind because you need to know if we have good sex or not but then he said we'd work on it if it was bad. So that doesn't make any sense to me. He makes me songs that a are sweet and buys me food when we go out and his parents like me. He has done hookups before and stated he has had sex only for pleasure but then stated a news thing of his is he can't get hard unless there is an emotion connection. I guess I'm like what do I do. My best friend said to see where it goes with him and not break up. I like him but hated the comment. We later solved the issue and showered together but nothing sexual, as a way for me to gain my trust towards him. I stated that I'm sorry for leading you on sexually when I said I don't want anything sexual til marriage. He then over messages said I thought you had fun and I said my actions should align with my words at the end of the day and then he said like I said its all up to you. Just give me some advice. This is my first relationship in my adult years and I'm new to it. What should I do with my morals involved? I know I could change my mind but its only 2 weeks into a relationship and I'm inexperienced so I want to take things slow.

I need to move out of my parents house on august 1st. I will have about 3k saved up through app delivery. I have had a lot of trouble with jobs in the past and have moved back home many times. I need to make this time work and right now I’m planning on getting a kitchen job where the two checks a month are higher than my rent and only putting them towards that. I’ll still app deliver on my scooter for food money. No idea how I’d start to save though. I live in south Florida which is expensive but wouldn’t be opposed to doing this in a cheaper area with a bus ticket or something. I figured I’d just see if anyone had any suggestions. Thanks

When I was a child, my mom was peak boomer. She abused my brother and I verbally, emotionally, and physically, withholding love as it suited her. She abused telemarketers and store employees and was gleeful when she made them cry. Big "I want to speak to your manager" energy. Selfish in many ways, self centered, and miserable to live with. Didn't clean snow off the roof of her car because it wasn't her problem if it flew off and hit someone else. She bitched about immigrants amd welfare.
When I was 11, I cleaned the whole house, in every way I knew. I did 3 loads of laundry and folded it all. I emptied and refilled the dishwasher, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen counters and sink, mostly cleaned out the fridge (wiping down shelves and bottles, and piling on one side the food she may want to throw out.) I scrubbed the bathtub and bathroom sink, got every window and mirror in the house squeaky clean. I didn't clean the toilet, because I was 11 (and ew, gross) but also because my mom always shut off water to leave it empty when she scrubbed it and I didn't know how to do that. My brother played games on the computer all day. He laughed at me and said my efforts wouldn't matter. He was right; she came home and grounded us both- him for doing nothing, and me for skipping the toilet. I got most of the tongue lashing that day for leaving her with the "shit jobs" because "moms always get stuck with shit jobs because no one will help." Again, I was fucking eleven.
I was a timid mouse who feared her and desperately tried to earn her love. I once peed in a bottle because I was afraid to leave my room. My brother was angry all the time, from about age 7 up. When I met my husband in my early 20's, a big part of my affection for him came from him being the first guy who believed me about her. She'd slap on the fake smile, and my boyfriends would all assume I was a drama queen. My brother is dead by suicide, so the abuse was not imagined. My husband watched her carefully in our early days and saw the mask slip often. It was validating.
But now.... she's a wonderful grandma, appalled at the MAGA cult, and never watches FOX or other right wing trash. She is courteous in public, tips well in restaurants, learns things as she needs to. She spent over 20 years working alongside first generation immigrants and talking to them and about them respectfully. She "doesn't get" trans people but acknowledges they don't impact her life, so she doesn't say anything about them. She is accepting of gay people ("Did you know cousin __ is gay? He and his husband have such a pretty house in the mountains...") I still see the old her spring up sometimes, but she is so much BETTER than she ever was when I was growing up. She tries to learn new things, accept new ideas, treat people well, and control her temper.
She tried- just once- to slap my eldest on the hand. He was two, and reached for her plate at a restaurant. I pulled his high chair around the table and told her never to hit him again. He didn't sleep over my parents house again until he was old enough to report if she did. And she never did that again. My dad, on the other hand, has always been chill, and still is.
I know the lead brain is real with that generation. But did anyone else see the boomers in their life actually improve over time?

We'll probably be flying to Israel this fall for the holidays, from NYC. On the way and back we were hoping to travel through several European countries as we often do. The flights are essentially already paid for and it's just hotels, food and sights. But given the situation and the massive upsurge of antisemitism there, I was wondering if it's a good idea, not just in terms of it possibly being unpleasant but possibly even dangerous.
The idea was to travel by train from London to Venice, by way of Paris, several stops in Switzerland and Milan. On the way back possibly Prague, Vienna, Salzburg and Zurich, then back to the US. We both speak Hebrew but would be careful to not do so much in public. We don't wear visible signs of being Jewish. But our passports show born in Israel, which hotels will be able to see.
Is this a bad idea, or should we just be careful and avoid heavily Arab and Muslim areas and try to not be conspicuous? We actually traveled through Paris and London on our way back last fall a couple of weeks after 10/7, without incident. What we're mostly concerned about is hotel staff being unpleasant or rifling through our things, so I think the way around this is to only stay one night in each hotel.

*sorry for the disorganised flow of the text*
Hi, if you don't mind I want to tell a little bit about what happened to me today. I go for an evening walk every evening before I go to bed, I do this religiously as I used to weigh 140 kg and currently weigh 92 kg. So I live in Citywest and I just walk around the neighborhood listening to music - and today it was raining quite heavily. No matter. this is when I whip out my rain trouser, tighten the shoes laces of my (at least at the time of purchase) water-proof boots, etcetera etcetera. Of course I forget to wear my rain trousers and get quite wet on my walk. Like always I talk over the phone with my parents and follow that up with a few tokes off a vape that relaxes me. And usually I eat fruit and drink water on these walks, but due to the things I was talking to my mother about over the phone as well as it raining quite heavily, I was not able to get myself to drink some water and eat fruit.
But yeah I'm walking through the regular paths that I have, listening to music, and then I see a figure that is trying to get my attention, he approaches me, he is maybe around 13-15 years old? After taking off my bluetooth earphones I ask him what is up. He says something, but I'm really not used to the way that the local youth speak in Citywest. So I have taking off my hood off my jacket, and reeaally try to understand what this person is saying, since I am pretty high. He was asking me for money so that he could take the bus.
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Now, I think of myself as fairly good-hearted person, but I always to hesitate when someone wants money from me. I don't even truly know what he exactly he expected me to do, but then I remember that the bus will accept cash, and it is two euros if I'm not mistakened. I've seen this happen on occassion when I take the bus (which is not very often) - which also kind of confuses me, because I'm pretty sure you would save money in the long run if you had a leap card, that's what I do. which you can recharge without cash. - Anyway, then I remember my fancy wallet that is basically an aluminum card holder has slot for a one euro coin that I would use if I go into a supermarket and want to use a trolley. I don't particularly want to inconvenience myself with having to find some occassion for me to get a one or two euro coin. So I ask him: "I guess I have a one euro coin in my wallet", he quickly asked if he could have it. I am slow to react, I do feel high, but I guess the kid couldn't really tell. I said something like "Okay, I guess if you need it", and then almost instinctively get a puzzled face and ask "where is your bus stop" in maybe a bit of an accusing tone, because I cant recall there being a bus stop in the area he was walking, but also I don't have the entire area completely memorized. He gives some answer I dunno I didn't really listen I just saw him pointing in a direction, but if I recall correctly there is no way to get to a bus stop in that direction, but while speaking to this person I am very much running on instinct as I do have a bit of social anxiety - I'm just trying to survive in the situation. He was going to show me on the phone on a gps where is bus stop was, but I just say "No, no, I trust you". And then I try to search my pockets for my wallet, only to find that I did not bring my wallet with me - this is a habit I formed mostly so that I don't get tempted by any fast-food joints or convenience stores during my walks- though since I started to pay with my phone my wallet has become in practice a bit redundant. I try to tell him that I don't have my wallet on me and that I can't help him.
The kid looked defeated, but also a bit insulted. He walks a few steps and mutters "You're lying", by the way I can't emphasize this enough: almost every sentence he makes I am asking him to repeat himself because I literally do not understand him. I feel quite bad, it was not my intention to give a false expectation, I am just currently disorganized, I even forgot my glasses for this walk. We go a little back and forth with him saying that I am lying, and if he sees me again he will never trust me, and that me replying that I am sorry and can't help him. He walks away, and I continue my walk. About 20 seconds later I hear him calling for my attention, so I turn around and he is apparently challenging me to a fist fight, due to me disrespecting him. I become extremely anxious and timid, saying I do not want any trouble and that I am sorry. He demands me apologize for earlier, and whips up his phone. I have been saying sorry non stop since I told him I don't have my wallet on me. But when I see his phone - this is when I realise that I gotta run. And so I try to act like I am listening to him and not completely freaking out, and then I try dashing away. Except, I run into a think pole which only goes up maybe 90 cm?, bruising my lower thigh, just about the knee. He gives a a look of pitying disgust and I continue to run(ish) and he walks off. I continue my walk and come home and see that damn that bruise was huge!
So I suppose I want to ask, was my response appropriate? Have I missed some sort of social agreement where we are supposed to help teenage strangers in the rain? Why don't teenagers have leap cards? Was this boy maybe intending to snatch my wallet if I showed it to him? What the hell did I just experience? I don't really like the idea of running into this person again on my daily walk. Did I maybe project a tone of disrespect when I talk to him, considering that I speak mid-atlantic academic english? I am not Irish so I just don't what to think of all of this, I have never experienced something like this before - I know I don't like it, of course. I do feel quite alright with not giving this type of person money, so I am glad I didn't have my wallet. I am not sure whether this may be relevant, but I am white and could pass for Irish, and he was black.