I am write to enquiring about accommodation for wheelchair

Hey everyone. I’m using a throwaway for privacy. I am Jewish & recently (last month) got a job working in a major city’s Jewish Community Center, we are obviously unapologetically pro-Israel & quite inclusive for Jews & non-Jews. We have Israeli flags, celebrate israel’s Independence Day, so on and so forth. I love my job getting to know the members and love getting to test my language skills with other people, as there are many individuals from other countries, and their faces usually light up when I speak bits of their language to them.
I’m also quite vocal about my support for Israel (going on birthright & making Aliyah), and my manager pulled me into the back office for a discussion. She’s a non-Jewish black woman. She told me that we cannot be talking about anything political or politically-adjacent, even though nobody’s ever been around those discussions, and that includes discussing Israel, as she said ”It may offend some of the Muslim members of our community, and we try to be inclusive, even though this is a Jewish community center.” .. I held my tongue, for the sake of my job, but was also quite confused. We have Israeli flags everywhere & signs that write “We Stand with Israel!”, etc ..
I pretty much got talked to about that, plus my usage of foreign languages apparently can make some individuals uncomfortable, along with phone usage (100% understandable regarding the phone usage, as it’s not something to be excused, but I also will add that everyone else uses their phones here in my position, including in front of her, and she never says anything .. this can be attested to by myself and others witnessing it. She only said something to me). I’ve always been very polite, respectful, and accommodating to all of our members. I seriously love my job and wouldn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable, but I do feel as if I, one of the 2 or so Jewish people in my department, am being singled out (not necessarily because I am Jewish, just in general). She has clear favorites.
She also apparently gets a lot of complaints from customers because of her very rude attitude (which she acknowledged she has) and every time management has tried to say anything, she claims racism.
She also is going to be having her manager, who is also not Jewish, who I really do like, have a conversation with me regarding the phone usage, which I acknowledge and am fine with owning up to, and I have already made steps to correct it. I will also be referencing that I feel she is singling me out though by allowing most of the others in my exact role to not have to comply with the same rules. I will not be naming anyone. I seriously do love working here and I like all of my coworkers & other management …
Opinions?

Maybe I just haven't developed a sense of humor regarding my chronic illness. Or maybe It just pisses me off when able bodied people post or comment to me in person that they desire my symptoms for a gosh darn parking placard. I have had the latter happen to me a few times, but today I want to share an instance in which really boiled my blood.
Here is the situation: I was scrolling on tiktok. I see a young woman's video about her mom who has a paralyzed forehead. In the video, she shares that her mom suffered an extremely terrible car crash that left some of her facial muscles paralyzed. She goes on to say in the video that she will never age as well as her mom despite being her genetic clone. Essentially, she points out that the crash resulted in a botox like affect and that her mom looks very young for her age.
I thought this was a little strange to put out there on Beyonce's internet. But I somewhat felt for this 25 year old woman. It is hard to be a woman in our day and age and constantly feel like we need to look young. I even commented in support of her mom saying that the wreck must have been terrible and that I am glad she was okay.
My mistake. The next video this woman posts is of her printing out a disability parking placard and writing "forehead" in the blank space. HuH? I do not know about any of yall, but it was a battle to obtain my parking placard. It can also be an internal battle to seek out that kind of accommodation. I know I kept asking myself if I was sick enough to need one. Flash forward and this parking placard has been indispensable to my mental and physical health. I feel safe going places now and not worry about my heat intolerance or if I am going to faint in the parking lot. So to see someone print one out, even if it was in a joking manner, really got me upset.
Maybe I am too sensitive. But this thought was quickly burnt out as I saw this woman fight for her life in the comments and getting into arguments with members of the disability community. She kept saying her mom was not disabled. Upon examination, I did see some comments saying that this creator shouldn't make fun of disability, but I did not see anyone calling her mom disabled. The general consensus among commentators seemed to be that it was inappropriate to desire a symptom of disability (more people than just this lady's mom have facial paralysis) even in a joking manner. I tend to agree. You can't put something like that out on the internet and expect people who do have muscle paralysis to be okay with it.
I ended up blocking this woman, I hope she is able to grow and recognize the potential harm in her actions. But before I blocked her, I was curious to see what she does for a living. I saw that she was a tattoo artist and when I checked her tattoo IG, she had "safe space" in her bio. Safe space for who my friend, bc it def isn't a safe space for anyone in the disability community.

Hi All,
First time Reddit poster inspired by stories found online to try and see if I could get a different perspective on current events going on in life right now (Sorry mods if it looks like I keep reposting, trying to figure reddit out). It's been super chaotic for the past few weeks, and I need to try and see if I could get any advice/guidance in my situation.
To give some background information to my current challenge, I (Male, Mid-20s) am a first-year Intern Special Education (Moderate-Severe) Teacher who is still getting his teaching credential. I knew the previous teacher who had the classroom beforehand as I was a paraprofessional for 2 years in the district prior, and the position was open for about a year before I applied and got the position, which was a fight in itself. I really enjoy the work, find it extremely rewarding, and despite many struggles throughout the year (University classes over an hour away, health concerns), I believe I have managed to create a successful school year for the most part. The biggest challenge is that I have 6 staff members (all female, 2 early 20s, 4 older than 40), where some of them have not been very supportive to my direction for the room.
I have a staff member (lets call her Diane, approximately 65), who I had a good relationship with before the academic year began, when we worked together for the previous year's extended school year program when I started. By the start of the next year is when things began to change. I had assigned Diane as a one-on-one aide for a student in a wheelchair as the IEP team convened on day 1 and granted this service to her. I assigned Diane to her initially since she had told me that she had an extension to her contract that went beyond the hours someone in the position typically is granted. Diane flat out refused, threatening to quit because the child had supposedly rolled over her feet on purpose in previous years (the child is very sweet in question, and I couldn't imagine them doing that). I convened with my Director of Special Education, as he is on the IEP team for the student, and we made a decision to assign the one-on-one aide to another aide of mine who really enjoys working with the student.
The year would go on with off and on incidents with students in this manner. Threats to quit, refusal to record IEP goal information, constantly on her cell phone. In my classroom, I have a side office where we have our printescanner, and has a couch. The office also has windows that can overlook the classrooms, but we have blankets hung up because I was told that students would get distracted and look through the windows at staff on breaks. I didn't think much of it, but thought it was reasonable enough not to take it down. On one day, I found Diane pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her bag in the office. Not seeing these from her before, I asked what she was doing with those, to which she waved the pack to me and stated "this is why we have blankets over the windows." Confused, I asked her if she could take them out at the present time, which she did, walking outside without me finishing my sentence. I was concerned because, even though I had never caught her smoking, her words troubled me. I went to the Vice Principle (VP) telling her what went on and how I couldn't have a conversation with Diane, and we found that (in the state of California), there's nothing that states employees can posses cigarettes on school grounds, just that they can't use them. VP asked if she wanted to talk to Diane, I declined saying that she technically didn't do anything wrong. Director came by after school and I told him as well about the incident. He told me that he would check around the District Office for any info. Fast forward to the next morning, I go to the office and VP stops me saying "What's going on with the cigarette thing??" I ask what she meant, and VP told me that she and the enacting Principal (current Principal is out due to having a baby), were going to talk to Diane about the cigarette incident. My Director must have told enacting Principal and they made a plan to address the incident with Diane. After that, Diane had been very hostile towards me: not acknowledging my instruction or having a conversation with me, taking other aides out of the classroom during instruction time when students need help, taking photographs of things I would write down, etc.
I began recording incidents in my work and personal email in February because I was inexperienced and didn't know any better (first year mistake). I would seek out help from my Director and Principal, and they each talked to her a couple of times individually, but behaviors didn't stop. In April, I finally had enough and decided to file a grievance with Human Resources. I filled out the paperwork, wrote up my deposition on the situation (how you tried addressing the behaviors, how administration addressed the situation, and the result of administration action - in short "no action" from 4 different administrators involved), and provided them with the emails to myself as a paper trail since February when things started ramping up.
Nine days later, I get a call from HR stating that they wanted to meet with me and to bring my union representative. I was thrilled because I thought it was to address my grievance I filed. I go in the next morning with my rep to the Superintendent of HR, and he slides me a paper while explaining that I am on Paid Administrative Leave concerning "allegations of inappropriate conduct," as a Child Protective Services report was filed on me. They take my badges and keys. I am floored, head racing, all the stereotypical stuff you would hear from a movie. HR wouldn't even say what the reasons were when my rep inquired at the time.
Fast forward to now, and we have been currently fighting it out, and my union secured an attorney to represent me in the matter. The attorney let me know of the allegations, and I know that they are false. Trying to pin me on some real creep stuff that I won't address here. It disgusts me to even think that that's what the allegations even are. The attorney and I had an initial hearing with HR confirming the allegations, who the student was, what I had supposedly done, etc. Since I participated in the hearing, my attorney let me know that we can now request the paperwork that was filed to CPS and know the identity of the reporting party as this is a requirement of mandated reporters in schools as the allegations were made during the school day and not before/after school. I know in my heart that this is a retaliation from Diane/other staff members who have been siding with Diane, and let HR know this feeling to investigate based on the grievance I filed before my dismissal. If somehow the reporter is someone else, than this is coercion that I think should be investigated.
My attorney/professors at university were letting me know about other things concerning my situation that I'm just worried on (keep in mind, this is California). The primary field is the argument in resignation, firing, and non-reelection. First, after taking advice from my attorney and listening to my heart, I am not resigning from my position. I know I have done nothing wrong in my position as a teacher based on the allegations that were brought up against me. My attorney had also advised me that if I had resigned, the CPS report would still be active. Sure, there's things that you would have to answer for in the future for interviews and all if you resign, but that would raise more red flags for you if you resigned since CPS would still be involved with you, and you would have to acquire a criminal defense attorney in the meantime (also, it's interesting to me that this whole event has gone on for about a month, and not one CPS or law enforcement official has ended up on my doorstep when, in reality, they have all the right to come up).
Second, is firing. The district could in all their rights terminate me for what is going on. My attorney doesn't think that this would happen as if they were to terminate me, I could file for an appeal (or legal cases for that matter) to the school board and open up a cross-examination investigation with key witnesses, character witnesses, the whole nine yards, all being lead up to a vote. This apparently is expensive to run, and seems unlikely to happen given how the school year is about to end.
Lastly, and what seems to be most likely to occur, is that the district will choose to non-reelect me. This apparently gives them an out to conducting the full investigation, it gives them an out to not open up an investigation for the grievance I filed (whose timeline expires a week after my last contract day for the year, leaving the grievance invalid), and allows the district to not give a reason to non-reelection according to my attorney. However, since nothing else has occurred to spur the non-reelection, I could file for a suit against the district on charges of retaliation and wrongful termination as some of the allegations are related to a specific physical disability concerning my health that I explained to HR and that they have a prior record of.
The last note that I have currently for the process is that if I am removed, it doesn't bode well for my credential status, which I haven't even technically earned yet. It will get flagged depending on the outcome of my dismissal, and doesn't look great to employers either. Add a defamation charge to the district?
I know that this is a lot to throw out into the sea, but I would like to see if I can get some help on this process that I am currently facing. I miss my kids and just want to just go back to my kids, but I don't know if that's even a possibility at the present time. If anyone has any helpful comments or advise to take, I would greatly appreciate it. It's disheartening to work so hard for something only to see it crumble before your eyes.
(Edit) TLDR: Brand new SPED teacher has had lots of conflict with aides in his classroom. Staff may have filed a CPS report on teacher, putting him on Paid Administrative Leave. Seeking help/understanding in what actions to take, and what to expect from other's experience.

Hi everyone,
First of all, let me start out by saying how wonderful it is to have come across this sub, as I’m quite lost as to where to begin, but also because I’m excited of the idea of possibly meeting other aspiring VO artists. My dream is to one day have my own character to lend my voice and fulfill my best friend’s wish: to use my talents (she’s no longer with us, God rest her soul).
I had a friend who was working on an animation that I helped voiceover one of his characters, but he never finished it and only used one of the many lines he had me record for him, so that’s about the extent of my experience (you can find it on YouTube, but it’s nothing to write home about)… though I am fairly good at doing impersonations, kinda like Ownage Pranks lol.
As far as equipment goes, I have headphones and a high quality mic, plus a decent laptop (I could also use my phone if need be).
My concern that I have is, even with all those in place, I don’t know if it will still sound good. My house’s walls are not well insulated so you can practically hear everything, and since I depend on my wheelchair to get around, there’s no way I can turn my closet into a booth because it wouldn’t fit in there.
Would covering myself and the equipment with sheets or blankets while I’m in bed keep it from picking up background noise or not so much? I know that was something Steve Blum used to do sometimes so maybe I could try something similar, especially since I’m looking for a cheaper alternative to acoustic paneling.
Also, should I focus on finding a local agency first to look for work or start making my demo right away?
I realize that I may be bombarding you all with so many questions and I truly apologize for that, and for sounding so… green lol. I guess I’m simply overwhelmed by my accessibility issue but also where to start, if that makes sense. Any advice/feedback on this would be very much appreciated. Thank you so much! 🙏🏻

Subject: Formal Complaint Regarding CUET Exam Management and Invigilator Conduct
Dear SiMadam,
I am writing to formally express my deep dissatisfaction and concern regarding the management of the Common University Entrance Test (CUET) held on 15th may 2024. The issues experienced during the examination were significant and severely impacted my ability to perform to the best of my abilities.
Firstly, the management of the exam was chaotic and disorganized. From the moment I arrived at the examination center, it was evident that the staff were not well-prepared to handle the volume of candidates. The entry process was slow and cumbersome, leading to unnecessary anxiety and delay. Once inside, the situation did not improve. The seating arrangements were poorly managed, causing confusion and further delay in the commencement of the exam.
Moreover, the conduct of the invigilators and staff was far from professional. They were unfriendly and displayed a level of arrogance that was both disheartening and distracting. Throughout the exam, they continuously interrupted us every five minutes, asking us to sign various documents. This repetitive disruption severely hindered my concentration and consumed valuable time that should have been dedicated to answering the exam questions.
Additionally, some of the invigilators were chatting among themselves during the exam, causing further distraction and making it even more difficult to concentrate. The frequency and nature of these interruptions were entirely unreasonable as it could have been done all at once at the beginning of the exam. As a result, many of us were unable to complete our papers within the allotted time, compromising our performance and potentially affecting our future academic opportunities. The primary role of invigilators is to facilitate a smooth examination process, ensuring a conducive environment for candidates. Unfortunately, the behavior and actions of the invigilators at our center were contrary to this objective.
In addition to these disruptions, I was deeply disturbed by reports of inappropriate frisking procedures. Some female candidates reported being inappropriately touched under the guise of security checks, which is unacceptable and violates their personal dignity and safety. Furthermore, a candidate with disabilities (PwD) was denied the assistance of a scribe, contrary to the provisions and accommodations that should be provided for such students. This not only reflects poorly on the exam management but also raises serious concerns about the inclusivity and fairness of the examination process.
In light of these issues, I respectfully request the National Testing Agency to take immediate and appropriate actions to address these concerns.
I trust that the NTA will take this complaint seriously and take the necessary steps to rectify these issues. Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to your prompt response and positive action.
Sent from this iphone

The foremost claim that (so called) libertarians make for their model of society is that it respects and promotes individual liberty, and allows people to pursue their own lives, in their own way, without the interference of others. Further they argue that other non-libertarian political ideologies, and personal beliefs, can be accommodated. Those who wish to be socialist, in a libertarian society, can band together, buy a parcel of land to live on and then set up a socialist society there, free from the interference of others. Likewise for religious groups and people with other beliefs.
Libertarians claim that the only economic order that respects individual freedom, is the free market. To them the free market is an exemplar of freedom in action. At the heart of the free market, is the voluntary bilateral exchange. If two parties exchange some goods, voluntarily, or make some contract voluntarily, then so long as this does not involve the violation of another's rights, no one has the right to interfere in it. According to libertarians the free market is the sum of the voluntary exchanges, and contracts going on in a society, nothing more and nothing less. Any distribution that occurs in the operation of a free market, is therefore just since at no stage has anyone's rights been violated, and all the exchanges were voluntary.
It seems to me that the above view ignores an important fact. The people involved in a free market must accept the rules of its operation, namely the rules that forbid attacks on others, using another's property without their consent, trespass, and fraud. This means that the free market has to include the mechanisms for deterring crimes, and mechanisms for compensation and punishment should such crimes be committed. The amount of coercion required to prevent such crimes, depends on the level of acquiescence of the population to the free market rules. In other words, the market is in fact the exchanges that go on as mentioned above, plus the policing, arbitration and legislating mechanisms required to ensure its operation. Hence, like the state, the market is a social institution, and the distributions of goods that result from its operation are therefore the distributions sanctioned by a libertarian society.
Libertarians are unanimous in viewing coercion as a violation of liberty, thus if you are forced to give money to the government to provide welfare, then you are being coerced and your liberty violated. The only legitimate use of coercion, according to libertarians is in enforcing people's rights. Libertarians legitimise coercion in these circumstances, and the amount of coercion required to enforce these rights depends on how willing people are to respect them. Hence it cannot be the case that a free market is free from coercion, unless everyone voluntarily respects these rights and abides by the law. For a libertarian to claim that a libertarian society is totally free in this sense, and justify it by saying that they expect everyone to respect property rights in this way, is on a par with a socialist claiming that a socialist society is free from coercion, because they expect everyone to be willing to accept the socialist's laws. Arguing that the free market they depict is an ideal that is free of coercion, but the practice requires some coercion to prevent people from violating rights, doesn't help either - the socialist can argue the equivalent point in defence of their position! A libertarian may concede that coercion is required to protect rights, but that other than that, the free market is free of coercion, and will be freer of coercion than a non-libertarian society.
However, as I said before, the amount of coercion required depends on how willing the citizens are to accept a free market order. If the citizens of a society do not want a libertarian order, it may require a lot of coercion to impose it, likewise if the citizens want socialism it won't require as much coercion to get it. In other words, what determines the amount of coercion required in a society, is the extent to which people are willing to accept the rules imposed on them, and this is as true of a libertarian, society as it is of any other. Thus, it is debatable that a libertarian society would have less coercion in it than a non-libertarian one. The libertarian can argue that at least the use of coercion is legitimised only in explicit circumstances where rights have been violated, but then a non-libertarian could argue the same for their proposed model of society too.
You will notice that I have supposed that to prevent someone from doing something he wants to do is to make him, in that respect, unfree; I am pro tanto unfree whenever someone interferes with my actions, whether or not I have a right to perform them, and whether or not my obstructor has a right to interfere with me. But there is a definition of freedom which informs much libertarian writing and which entails that interference is not a sufficient condition of unfreedom. On that definition, which may be called the rights definition of freedom, I am unfree only when someone prevents me from doing what I have a right to do, so that he, consequently, has no right to prevent me from doing it. Thus Robert Nozick says: “Other people’s actions place limits on one’s available opportunities. Whether this makes one’s resulting action non-voluntary depends upon whether these others had the right to act as they did.” Now, if one combines this rights definition of freedom with a moral endorsement of private property, with a claim that, in standard cases, people have a moral right to the property they legally own, then one reaches the result that the protection of legitimate private property cannot restrict anyone’s freedom. It will follow from the moral endorsement of private property that you and the police are justified in preventing me from pitching my tent on your land, and, because of the rights definition of freedom, it will then further follow that you and the police do not thereby restrict my freedom. So here we have a further explanation of how intelligent philosophers are able to say what they do about capitalism, private property, and freedom. But the characterization of freedom which figures in the explanation is unacceptable. For it entails that a properly convicted murderer is not rendered unfree when he is justifiably imprisoned.
Even justified interference reduces freedom. But suppose for a moment that, as libertarians say or imply, it does not. On that supposition one cannot argue, without further ado, that interference with private property is wrong because it reduces freedom. For one can no longer take it for granted, what is evident on a normatively neutral account of freedom, that interference with private property does reduce freedom. On a rights account of what freedom is one must abstain from that assertion until one has shown that people have moral rights to their private property. Yet libertarians tend both to use a rights definition of freedom and to take it for granted that interference with his private property diminishes the owner’s freedom. But they can take that for granted only on the normatively neutral account of freedom, on which, however, it is equally obvious that the protection of private property diminishes the freedom of nonowners, to avoid which consequence they adopt a rights definition of the concept. And so they go, back and forth, between inconsistent definitions of freedom, not because they cannot make up their minds which one they like better, but under the propulsion of their desire to occupy what is in fact an untenable position. Libertarians want to say that interferences with people’s use of their private property are unacceptable because they are, quite obviously, abridgments of freedom, and that the reason why protection of private property does not similarly abridge the freedom of nonowners is that owners have a right to exclude others from their property and nonowners consequently have no right to use it. But they can say all that only if they define freedom in two inconsistent ways.
The justification of property rights on the grounds of the (moralised) freedom of the property owner is circular. This is so because the truth of the proposition that P’s freedom to use X is violated, on this account, depends on X being P’s property. So P's ownership of X cannot be based on the fact that P’s freedom is violated. For example, suppose 1 have a justified (property) right to the chair I am sitting on. If you take the chair away from me then you violate that right and, therefore, also reduce my (moralised) freedom. But if you were to inquire as to the justification of my right to the chair I could not point to the reduced freedom of not respecting that right since whether or not my freedom is reduced, on this account, depends on whether or not I have a (justified) right to the chair.
In fact there are two independent circular arguments involved in such an account of the relation between property rights and freedom. The first concerns the justification of the extent of the right (justifying property), the second concerns the distributional question (drawing the boundaries). Does respect of my freedom require a recognition of my right to sit on the chair? To move it from one place to another? To allow others to use it? To transfer my right to another? and so on. That depends on whether my freedom is violated when I am prevented from doing any of the specified actions. But whether my freedom is violated depends on whether or not I have the specified rights. So the issue of how far my right to the chair extends — control, income, transfer, and so on - cannot be settled by reference to my freedom to do any of those things since that freedom itself depends on the extent to which I have that right. That is the first circular argument aiming to justify my property (rather than any lesser) right on a moralised notion of freedom.
Does respect of my freedom require the recognition of my exclusive right to sit on the chair? Why does respect for my freedom impose such a requirement, but respect for your freedom or anyone else’s does not? In other words, why is my freedom violated when I am prevented from using the chair and your freedom is not when you are prevented from using it? Whether or not our respective freedoms are violated depends on whether you or I have such a right. So the issue of who has the right to the chair - I rather than you - cannot be settled by reference to my freedom to do any of those things since that freedom itself (and your lack of freedom or unfreedom) depends on the fact that I, rather than you, have that right. That is the second circular argument aiming to justify my (rather than anyone else’s) property right on a moralised notion of freedom.
TL:DR: Libertarians want to say that interferences with people’s use of their private property are unacceptable because they are, quite obviously, abridgements of freedom, and that the reason why protection of private property does not similarly abridge the freedom of nonowners is that owners have a right to exclude others from their property and non-owners consequently have no right to use it. But they can say both things only if they define freedom in two incompatible ways.

Forgive me if either of these has already been mentioned as I am a new listener and not a redditor. I did scan the episode titles and haven't seen these as of yet. An episode on sports for disabled people would be interesting and educational for listeners. I understand it may be a touchy subject and you'd want to do it justice, so it might take more prep-work.
I volunteer with an organization in San Diego that provides free opportunities for disabled sailors, whether it is their first time in a boat or they are an expert. We have boats called Martin 16's that were designed specifically for disabled sailors. We also have a boat that was in the Rio Special Olympics called a Skud. We can accommodate any special need. We have blind sailors, deaf sailors, sailors in wheelchairs, sailors with mental issues such as PTSD, stroke victims, and autism. There is even a puff-and-sip system for quadriplegics. These boats allow them to sail completely on their own. One of the most common things we hear from the sailors is that while they are in the boat, they don't feel disabled. We sail every Friday and Saturday, weather permitting, and we are included in several regattas throughout the year.
Personally, for me, as a volunteer, I have gotten so much more out of this than I have put into it. I was originally looking for opportunities to get on boats and in the end I have made so many new friends and learned a ton about different disabilities. My first time being a companion sailor (the fully able-bodied person in the boat) was with a blind woman. We were sailing the boats over to Coronado for a regatta the following weekend. On our way we passed through a fairly empty mooring field. This is when I learned to keep blind sailors further away from objects as I let her side-swipe a marker buoy. See, it takes an extra second to process what you need to tell the sailor, tell them, then have them process the information and take action. Sure, we've had sailors t-bone other boats, masts get knocked off, sailors or companions fall into the water, but honestly not any more than other boats out there. That's just a part of sailing. Speaking of companions falling into the water, another time, I was on our chase boat (the safety boat in case anything happens) and while trying to fix a PAU (power assist unit), a companion fell off the boat into the water. Once we made sure she was okay, we chased down the sailor who was now alone in a runaway sailboat. We quickly got ahold of him and I realized, it was then up to me to jump from one moving boat to another moving boat, into the boat with him and bring down the sails so the chase boat could tow us back to the dock, which I did without any issues.
I've also stumbled upon a disabled surfing competition and that was amazing to watch. Those volunteers make my job look like a piece of cake. They have big strong men carry them on their back, out past the break, and put them onto the surfboard. Point being, disabled sports are interesting and amazing to see and be a part of. I hope you to see an episode on this someday.

I'm a 32 yo male. I've had RJ for as long as I can remember. Every girlfriend I've ever had (mostly for the first year or two, after that it fades a little) I've experienced this. I naturally lean towards women with less sexual past, but there is never a small enough amount of a past for me to accept. Clearly the problem lies within me.
It affects me every single day, as I'm even writing this post I am at work and can't think or be productive. It's really crippling me.
I recently got into a relationship with my girlfriend (25). She has had 2 long term relationships (3 years a piece), the first was very little in terms of sexual relations, but the second was consistent for about 2.5 years. And they had done basically everything. I mean, why not, they were in love and had a long term relationship. There were some things she held back with him, somethings were only done once or twice, but again no matter how little it's still crippling for me to accept.
I was frankly surprised and very happy INITIALLY when she told me it was only 2. Everyone says this about their girlfriend, but she's a genuine 10/10, very popular and desired. She gets hit on even at the grocery store. Which is another triggering aspect of this.
I look at her as someone innocent and precious, and it's hard for me to picture that side of her, EVEN WITH ME sometimes. She even dresses super conservative, but even sometimes if a dress or skirt is a little short (for me) I ask her to change. She is incredibly accommodating to me and doesn't give me a hard time about any of that stuff, I've even asked her to not go to clubs or any nightlife anymore because her friend group is big on that since they are young. She agrees fully to basically anything I ask, even zero guy friends for example which she cut off completely (removed off social media and said goodbye permanently). She even deleted all her male friends from high school off snapchat for me.
I know, it's ridiculous, right? It's almost like the more she does for me, the more I ask for. Again she never has had a problem with it, and I HAVE reciprocated. I deleted my SC completely (I only had women on there for certain reasons). I also won't be doing any night life even though that was a big part of my life. I'm replacing it with something better anyway.
We have a ton of fun together, I am a real gentleman with her, we are entirely and completely honest about everything and anything. We lean on each other, and aren't afraid to ask questions no matter how trivial or silly they may be. We are a great team together and both have the same aspirations for our relationship. I've never met ANYONE I've had more in common with. Our childhood, our family dynamics, our beliefs, humour, and even nationalities.
What I'm saying is, everything is as perfect as it can be, and she has proven to me over and over that she is entirely honest and fully devoted to this relationship, but I can't stop finding problems with it. It's almost like the only person I can be happy with is a virgin, which is impossible, especially at my age.
This is more of a rant / getting it off my chest, please don't judge me harshly I realize I am the problem and I'd like to work on removing these thoughts in my head so her and I can enjoy ourselves in peace.
Thanks to anyone who read this.

Everything seems so superficial. I did this, I did that. So I learned this and realized that.
Still doesn't feel quite right and I feel so stuck. Why why whyyyy does PS have to be a component for admissions. I suck at writing and developing those DEEP DEEP personal stories. English is not my first language either. I also don't feel like I have all those unique "friend was dying in a burning house so I rushed to save them" or "grandma died from cancer and I held her as she took her last breath and witnessed her soul leave her body and float" type experiences.
I literally just went to school, took classes, volunteered in the hospital (wasn't involved in any direct patient care, just wheelchaired patients around) and volunteered in other non-clinical things. I, like any other premed, checked off the research, clinical experience, shadowing and volunteering boxes. If I gained any experiences (doubt bc everything seemed like ordinary interactions), idk how to talk about them or make a big deal out of them.
I don't get it. How tf am i going to make myself stand-out and make my PS memorable?
How are yall doing it?

Good Morning Everyone, Evening to some, afternoon to most.
We got home to lots of letters and my fiancee loved them all, and she's sitting next to me while we take the time to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to bring joy here in TN.
Thank you u/onebadjoke The Edible favours is a great idea, I'm going with twix, she's going with Riesen and for the both of us, Swedish Fish, gotten love hand fishing in a bag over waiting by the pond.
Thank you u/jemst0ne Amanda absolutely loves the post card, she's drawn to it immediately, and your card prompted a story. So, fun fact both of us proposed to each other to let each other know we were ready to be serious and jump into husband and wife roles, well the night that Amanda decided she wanted to make her jump, she received a fortunate cookie following a really nice meal at the casino, and the fortunate cookie said "Don't panic," lol, and nobody but her knew that that was. Second fun fact, mine that night said something about, "Don't miss the opportunity of the day, tomorrow it will be lost."
Thank you u/snerdboff We will definitely take funny pictures and thank you for the marriage licenses multiple copies, either of us thought of that, that's a great idea. Love that you had the largest card/envelope package. Love the sticker of the house as the envelope closer.
Thank you u/danigeek That's a great idea about the consignment store for the dresses. So far she has gone with her mom and sister to look at dresses. So far our idea for the colors of our wedding will be purple, blue, and silver. We have yet to try any cakes for the wedding, but my favorite is polish honey cake and her favorite is black forest (which no bakery seems to make anymore). Daisies are Amanda's favorite flower. Great card. Thank you.
Thank you, u/littlemermaidxx Thank you for the Love post card, it's nice, Amanda loves it, will take a pin to the love corner that we've got going. Thank you for the Congrats!
Thank you u/blacksmithequivalent You sent two cards :). Thank you so much. San Diego is such a beautiful area. We love that there is rarely a day below 60 degrees. The ring card is so pretty. Since she calls me her galaxy, I decided that blue sandstone would be a great pick for both her engagement and wedding ring. The actual stone looks like stars in a dark night sky. We also appreciate you saying that as long as we are happy together, no other opinions matter. True relationships are based on trust, great communication, and respect.
Thank you u/ez330 Absolutely beautiful card with the hearts as leaves in the tree. Congrats on your upcoming 12 year anniversary with your husband. I am sorry that you had those stressors during your wedding day. At this point, I feel that my fiancee and I are the least worried about things right now. That may not be a good thing when the time gets closer haha. Either way, as long as we are together and nothing drastic happens it'll be a great day for us as well. I am also a project manager so nothing can be as bad as some of the violent days at work lol.
Thank you, u/uknighinthesky Love the card. We are both very thankful to have several family members that are doing so much research for us and planning parts of the wedding. I think one of our main concerns is getting some family members from out of town to the wedding. The comic snips were very funny and a great touch to the card.
Thank you, u/uaepeyc. I absolutely adore this card. My mom is huge into mermaids and when I showed her this card, she went cray cray. You gave great advice saying that family research is helpful, but that in the end it is our day. Through all the planning, I think that our day will be as amazing as our relationship. She says that our relationship will be made with great memories for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/ninajyang. The front of the card is so pretty. I wish you and your partner the best. We both have a similar budget in mind. We don't want to spend too much, but just enough to make things as memorable as possible. This will be both of our first and last marriages so we figure we would splurge just a little. Thank you for the cute stamps as well.
Thank you, u/mediocre_radish_7216 Thank you so much for the cute cared. I liked the skateboard with the word love on it. Since she has moved in, we have been enjoying every little moment together. Even domesticated, simple ones can be enjoyable together. As we are writing these, we are doing household chores. Last night we cooked dinner and had a glass of wine together. We both plan to flourish this relationship for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/notsomini. Not going into debt for a single day is a great piece of advice. Thank you. We have been looking at wedding venues and seeing which one is the most cost effective, but yet flexible. A few places that we have looked at have been so strict with what is allowed in and what is not. One place that we checked out, no outside food was permitted. This place that we plan to check out tomorrow is not strict as we can bring in whatever food and other accommodations we choose. Thank you so much for the awesome stickers too.
Thank you, u/inkyfingerspgs Thank you so much for the card. Amanda loved it as the purple that was on the card is one of our wedding colors. We plan to continue making good memories from the wedding day and 55 years into the future.
Thank you, u/daeneryswon. The card is adorable. We both love it. The quote, "to a love that grows more beautiful every year," should be a goal for all couples. We hope that on our wedding day there is not too many hiccups, but both of us are pretty easy going that we will just continue on. We plan to make each other happy for the next 55 years.
Thank you so much u/keqani. All of the details that you put into your card is appreciated. Amanda adored the snips of paper that you included with your card. She said that those will be amazing to write little love notes to me to leave in my truck for me to discover. We both concur with you that we need to be there for each other no matter what. Loyalty in a relationship is very important. So far we have had great communication. Before we moved in together, we talked multiple times a day for at least 20 minutes or longer. We also promised each other that if anything is bothering either of us that we should just talk it out rather than holding it in. Amanda says that for the next 55 years we will be together through all the ups and downs that life can bring.

Hi guys, So long story short I’ve been looking forward to starting school to become a vet tech soon, but after reading something today I’m a little discouraged about the possibility due to others thinking I’m incompetent due to my disability.
I don’t want to get too into my health issues, but long story short I have genetic mitochondrial disease that affects multiple parts of my body. I’ve lived with this illness my entire life, so I’ve become very resilient and adaptive for just about anything and everything. I do use a wheelchair but I can stand and walk some. I’m very, very thankful to report I’m rarely ever in the hospital, especially compared to when I was younger since we (as in my team of drs along with myself) have come up with a great day to day supportive care routine.
Do you think there will be vet tech programs willing to accommodate or at least give me a chance to prove myself and my abilities? Human doctors and nurses are able to be in wheelchairs/have disabilities so I always assumed it would be the same in the veterinary field.
I always wanted to work in vet med as a kid, then switched to hospice nursing being the goal, but Ever since fostering for my local humane society the past couple years & adopting my amazing senior foster fail it has rekindled my love for veterinary medicine and I truly can’t imagine myself doing anything else.
I’m really interested in anesthesia & analgesia, as well as some work in the area of palliative/hospice care.
If anyone has any insight from going through this personally, with a student/colleague or if you just happen to be knowledgeable on the subject I would really appreciate some discernment into this situation.
I apologize for prating on for so long about this. I am immensely worried my dreams and entire future may not pan out at all how I’d hoped, which is devastating considering how excited I am.
Thank you for any input given 💙

I am 27w and was diagnosed with pretty severe anemia a few weeks ago. I tried iron supplements and eating iron rich foods for 3 weeks, but my follow up blood work showed my levels getting worse :( so I am starting infusions soon.
The main problem I am having is that I am very fatigued and have little to no energy to put into my job. I work in a competitive corporate role where “drinking the kool aid” and doing presentations about my strategy to basically peacock my work around is the norm in addition to doing my actual day to day job. I am fine doing the day to day honestly, but I simply can’t find the mental capacity or energy to put these presentations together and then actually present them. I feel like I am in a constant state of brain fog and can’t focus enough to put this information together. I’m supposed to have a huge presentation next week, and I haven’t even started it.
My boss is a young single man who has no interest in discussing my pregnancy or the issues I’m struggling with. He doesn’t react negatively when I tell him I have appointments or I’m not feeling well, but I suspect that is due to him having to be HR appropriate. His reactions are very stoic and I can tell he’s not happy with me having to be out even for a regular OB appt. He’s even asked me to take my laptop to my iron infusions so I miss less work. He also is acting like I’m not going to be out of the office soon for several months and keeps asking me to pick up work that is long term and will require attention while I’m out (they also have nobody to cover me).
All that said- how would you go about (if you would) handling this? I’m considering asking my doctor to write a work accommodation note but I don’t know how that will go over or what it would even say. I physically and mentally feel l like I can’t handle what my boss is expecting of me right now being in my 3rd tri and struggling with severe anemia, but I don’t know what to do :(
Thanks in advance!

Hi guys, So long story short I’ve been looking forward to starting school to become a vet tech soon, but after reading something today I’m a little discouraged about the possibility due to others thinking I’m incompetent due to my disability.
I don’t want to get too into my health issues, but long story short I have genetic mitochondrial disease that affects multiple parts of my body. I’ve lived with this illness my entire life, so I’ve become very resilient and adaptive for just about anything and everything. I do use a wheelchair but I can stand and walk some. I’m very, very thankful to report I’m rarely ever in the hospital, especially compared to when I was younger since we (as in my team of drs along with myself) have come up with a great day to day supportive care routine.
Do you think there will be vet tech programs willing to accommodate or at least give me a chance to prove myself and my abilities? Human doctors and nurses are able to be in wheelchairs/have disabilities so I always assumed it would be the same in the veterinary field.
I always wanted to work in vet med as a kid, then switched to hospice nursing being the goal, but Ever since fostering for my local humane society the past couple years & adopting my amazing senior foster fail it has rekindled my love for veterinary medicine and I truly can’t imagine myself doing anything else.
If anyone has any insight from going through this personally, with a student/colleague or if you just happen to be knowledgeable on the subject I would really appreciate some discernment into this situation.
I apologize for prating on for so long about this. I am immensely worried my dreams and entire future may not pan out at all how I’d hoped, which is devastating considering how excited I am.
Thank you for any input given 💙

Hi guys,
(I am aware this is a sub meant for DVM students and although this specific post of mine is more geared towards vet techs w disabilities I figured I’d post it here as well since DVM is likely to be my end goal & id also appreciate input from as many people as possible, no matter their professional position)
So long story short I’ve been looking forward to starting school to become a vet tech soon, but after reading something today I’m a little discouraged about the possibility due to others thinking I’m incompetent due to my disability.
I don’t want to get too into my health issues, but long story short I have genetic mitochondrial disease that affects multiple parts of my body. I’ve lived with this illness my entire life, so I’ve become very resilient and adaptive for just about anything and everything. I do use a wheelchair but I can stand and walk some. I’m very, very thankful to report I’m rarely ever in the hospital, especially compared to when I was younger since we (as in my team of drs along with myself) have come up with a great day to day supportive care routine.
Do you think there will be vet tech programs willing to accommodate or at least give me a chance to prove myself and my abilities? Human doctors and nurses are able to be in wheelchairs/have disabilities so I always assumed it would be the same in the veterinary field.
I always wanted to work in vet med as a kid, then switched to hospice nursing being the goal, but Ever since fostering for my local humane society the past couple years & adopting my amazing senior foster fail it has rekindled my love for veterinary medicine and I truly can’t imagine myself doing anything else.
If anyone has any insight from going through this personally, with a student/colleague or if you just happen to be knowledgeable on the subject I would really appreciate some discernment into this situation.
I apologize for prating on for so long about this. I am immensely worried my dreams and entire future may not pan out at all how I’d hoped, which is devastating considering how excited I am.
Thank you for any input given 💙

Hi guys, So long story short I’ve been looking forward to starting school to become a vet tech soon, but after reading something today I’m a little discouraged about the possibility due to others thinking I’m incompetent due to my disability.
I don’t want to get too into my health issues, but long story short I have genetic mitochondrial disease that affects multiple parts of my body. I’ve lived with this illness my entire life, so I’ve become very resilient and adaptive for just about anything and everything. I do use a wheelchair but I can stand and walk some. I’m very, very thankful to report I’m rarely ever in the hospital, especially compared to when I was younger since we (as in my team of drs along with myself) have come up with a great day to day supportive care routine.
Do you think there will be vet tech programs willing to accommodate or at least give me a chance to prove myself and my abilities? Human doctors and nurses are able to be in wheelchairs/have disabilities so I always assumed it would be the same in the veterinary field.
I always wanted to work in vet med as a kid, then switched to hospice nursing being the goal, but Ever since fostering for my local humane society the past couple years & adopting my amazing senior foster fail it has rekindled my love for veterinary medicine and I truly can’t imagine myself doing anything else.
If anyone has any insight from going through this personally, with a student/colleague or if you just happen to be knowledgeable on the subject I would really appreciate some discernment into this situation.
I apologize for prating on for so long about this. I am immensely worried my dreams and entire future may not pan out at all how I’d hoped, which is devastating considering how excited I am.
Thank you for any input given 💙

Just venting and asking for advice here...
USF housing at Beacon is refusing to give me the automatic door opener that I need for my dorm. I am in a wheelchair and need the automatic door opener to get in and out of my room safely. Their first excuse was that it would take too long to install so it wasn't an immediate fix. Their second excuse was that since I was only going to be here for 3 months it wasn't worth the time. Their third excuse was that the person who moves into this ADA room after me might not need the button so therefore, in their mind it's not worth installing it to meet my needs.
I was misinformed by USF housing that my ADA Room would come automatically equipped with an automatic door opener for my room. So to come here and not only find that it doesn't have it but that they're essentially refusing to give me access to one is extremely frustrating. Especially since they're making it out to be like my right to accommodations and needs are a burden to them. They're basically saying they don't want to install the automatic door opener since I'm only going to be here for a few months. I understand that it's not an immediate fix and that it's a process but it's still one that's necessary for my ability to function.
Does anybody know of anything I can do or anyone I can talk to about this? It really does seem like they're leaning toward an ADA violation by refusing to accommodate me but every person that I've talked to has essentially brushed me off.
They offered to let me move into Holly A but that was after I had already arrived and unpacked all of my stuff at Beacon. As someone in a wheelchair, I physically cannot pack up and just move again. Even trying to get into Beacon was a process that took two days. I just got here, I can't pack up and move again.
They're saying the ground floor unit at Holly A that they're offering me has the tap card access for ADA and that's why they keep trying to push me to move there.
If they had offered me that as an option sooner, before I moved in, I would have gladly taken it. But alas now it's too late and it almost seems kind of laughably ridiculous.
It really just seems like they're treating me like a burden because they don't want to go through the process of installing the tap card. But realistically if it's an ADA room all ADA rooms should be equipped with an automatic door for wheelchair users.
I'm just really frustrated about their blatant refusal to install it when it's an option. They basically are saying they won't do it just because I'm only going to be here for 3 months. They're making me feel like a massive burden. Especially since they said "the person who moves in after me might not need it so it's not worth it to install it."
Is that not at the very least some kind of fire code violation?
God, I wish I had just taken over someone's off campus lease for the summer. 😭

Be warned: long rant
Is this even legal? I’m a double major and I had 4 in-person exams that week that all required prep (obviously). CalCentral said the exam would be on Friday then the prof gave us a 3-day notice that they’re going to post it on Sunday night then expect it back by Tuesday afternoon. I emailed them three times saying there was literally no way that was happening as I had exams back to back Mon-Thu, and finally got an extension until Thursday DURING MY EXAM out of them.
Worked on that shit for hours and hours over DAYS trying to finish it, and it eventually compromised two of my most important exams and still took over 20 hours to finish. Spent Wednesday night unwillingly doing 12+ hours of work ALL NIGHT (zero hours of sleep) and walked into my last exam sleep deprived, in physical pain, and having not eaten food for two days.
I made around 50 on the final for a class that I’d been making 95 or above on the ENTIRE semester, and looking at my graded answers, they are really obviously confused and slurred and they look as if I completed the exam while under the influence. I made a 99 raw score on the midterm and then an entire SD below average on the final. Actually ridiculous, but I have no clue what else I could have done better as I really believe my RRR and finals week were spent at max efficiency and it still could not accommodate a fuckign 20+ hour final exam during the week.
The description for the exam said it was “designed to not take over 3 hours”… It was ten 150-word essays, two 400-word essays, and one 1000-word essay. (For reference: in 12pt Times New Roman double spaced, 1k words is about 3.5 pages, 400 words is about 1.5 pages) THREE HOURS??????? Even if you used ChatGPT for half the exam it would have taken a normal person 10+ hours to finish. Moreover, the midterm was similar in structure and I received a B on it despite getting everything right for vague reasons like “could use more analysis”. So it’s not even like they grade kindly.
How is this real? I’m greatly upset about this because it pushed me down from an A+ in a class instantly to a B- or C+. I feel that there was absolutely no way to manage my time so as to avoid this. I contacted them early in RRR week to ask if I could actually complete the exam EARLY so as to avoid this, and they ignored me for 4 days and responded Monday morning, less than 24 hours to the deadline.
I really feel like there has to be something I can do about this. It might not have compromised people who only have humanities exams or projects due to spend an entire day finishing this, but that is not the case for me as I am a social sciences-STEM double major and it is much harder to switch between writing brain and math brain on such short notice (in my opinion). It’s not even about the exam itself at a certain point, it’s the failure to communicate on the instructor’s side, who told me they “thought this had been resolved already” four days late. No clue how others did not have a problem with this but I suppose most of them are not pursuing STEM with their degree and have done more similar exams.
This is really just a rant but holy hell, after a week of sleepless and foodless days I’m getting a C on my report card after getting 95–100 every single exam and assignment this semester in one class. wtf
EDIT: I’m probably not getting a C as my math final’s average was like 50, so I think I’m saved. Also thanks for the perspective from all the law school & legal studies people, I know what to expect from now on.😭 I’m hoping to major in LS so I’ll just have to learn to write hella fast (to my standards). Kudos to everyone who just Does This Shit every semester probably more than once.

My grandmother died in February. I hadn't seen her - or many members of that side of the family - since 2018, the year I got married. After my divorce in 2020, I moved to NYC. I've had a rough past few years, emotionally and financially. My Nana and those relatives spent their time in Florida, Texas, and Alabama (where I am from originally). Whenever I visited my immediate family, the extended family wouldn't be there.
I deeply regret not making the time to see my grandmother before she passed. I grieved her immediately, breaking into tears and weeping for weeks. I contemplated and researched the afterlife. When I texted my dad to ask, "When will the funeral be? Nothing could keep me away", he replied, "5.18.2024."
May 18 is my birthday.
I typed a message asking why my birthday was chosen, but quickly deleted it. I tried to calmly ask my mother privately and she became irritable, yelling at me, "Do not bring this up to your father. He's going through a lot."
I found out over time that because the ground was frozen in Vermont (where my grandmother raised her family before retiring in Florida), and Vermont is where she wanted her ashes to be buried, they had to postpone the funeral. She had seven children who had to pick a date that worked for all of them. But still...my birthday? My dad didn't care to speak up about it being his only daughter's birthday?
Here's the thing: my whole life, I have felt like the least favorite grandchild, niece, cousin, etc. I knew deep down that my grandmother loved me, but it was clear she loved others more. One time she chose to take my cousin to Disney World the same day my family had driven in to visit her. She told my father to come the next day, but he didn't listen, and decided to surprise her instead. She grew irate and rushed to beat us home so we wouldn't find out, but my Grandpa spilled the beans. She could have waited a day to take me and my brother, but didn't. We never went to Disney World with her.
She was a devout Catholic her entire life, but rolled her eyes when my eleven-year-old-self - a Southern Baptist at the time - suggested we all pray before we eat dinner. When she and my mother found me sitting alone one day (as a thirteen-year-old), I told them I was contemplating my future, and whether I could get into Harvard or travel to Europe. She burst out laughing as if that was the most hilarious joke ever told. (She never got a degree or worked.)
I've been writing creatively since childhood, but she always told me I needed a "real career" and I couldn't dream about becoming a writer. I have been tall and thin my whole life. When I began modeling, she said, "Modeling is not for you." She showered my cousins in praise and validation and gifts. She sent me gifts and cards, don't get me wrong, but the difference in quality was obvious. She scolded me over things my cousins got away with easily.
I loved my grandmother. I love my parents. I didn't want to hurt my dad so I kept my feelings inside and told myself my birthday was not important. But then my fiance and I went to dinner a week early to celebrate, and my parents didn't even wish me a happy birthday. They didn't send a card. I asked why. My mother replied, "Isn't your birthday next Saturday? We'll celebrate you on May 20 when we are all together in your city."
After she said this, it sunk in for me that they never intended to even acknowledge me at all on my birthday. So I changed my return flight from the 19th to the 18th. I asked my dad if he could drive me to the airport on my birthday after the funeral, and he said no because he had to "spend time with family." So I secured a rental car. I would now fly from Vermont to Detroit and finally return home to NYC at midnight on my birthday.
I have lived in NYC for four years, and for four years, my parents have made excuse after excuse not to visit me. I had to beg my dad to agree to visit me in NYC on their drive back from Vermont to Alabama, which he didn't want to do. He didn't want to drive into NYC to pick me up either. Originally my parents were supposed to pick me up from the train station in New Jersey this Thursday, and I would fly back home on the 19th, and they would FINALLY visit me in Manhattan on the 20th. It was all set. I was looking forward to exploring my dad's home town with him and spending some quality time together a few days before the funeral. Then out of the blue, my mom insisted I fly in on Friday instead, under the guise of saving my PTO. But really they just wanted to get to Vermont sooner. I told my dad this hurt my feelings, that I had been looking forward to spending private time with my parents in his hometown.
Today I called them and asked for help covering my Ubers to and from the airports. I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and they know this. Nana's will insisted that her estate would cover everyone's accommodations at her funeral, and I was originally told that I would get my own hotel room. Then I found out that I would be sharing a house with my parents and multiple relatives who were part of the original discussion to plan the funeral on my birthday. That didn't sit right with me. I wanted to go for my Nana and my dad. I didn't want to have to stay in the same house as people who don't care about me.
I finally told my dad today how I feel, on speaker phone while he and my mom were driving across the country towards Vermont. I said I couldn't believe they planned Nana's funeral on my birthday, when they had months to plan for any other date. I told him how my mother wouldn't let me express my feelings to him everytime I tried to calmly ask why, why MY birthday, of all the birthdays in the family? Why did it have to be on anyone's birthday? I said this has been a recurring theme all my life, that nobody in this family cares about me. He replied, "Don't come. If that's how you feel, don't come."
So now I am crying and wondering if I should cancel my flights and rental car, and miss out on my Nana's funeral, or just go, despite the fact that nobody wants me there...and based on their choice of date, maybe they never did.
TL;DR: My relatives planned my grandmother's funeral months in advance on my birthday. I told my parents this made me feel unloved and my dad told me to not come to the funeral if that's how I feel.

“Would you sacrifice yourself to save your entire species?” Carl talked through the intercom in the reactor room as he fiddled with more and more wires. He was looking for a very special wire and a very special place to stick it in. The quiet thunks on the other side of the door quieted down. They had been trying to breach the door for over an hour, and really, it hadn’t done much else but annoy everyone involved. If the aliens on the other side of the door had any humor, Carl would have told them that shoving a cactus in their rectums would have been a better use of everyone’s time.
“Of course I would.” The intercom spat out an answer from the not so professional ‘professional negotiator’. Their offers for Carl to open the door had been promises of great wealth, safety, and accommodations. To be clear, Carl did believe the xeno’s offers, its kind were notorious for being devilishly anal about following the letter AND spirit of agreements. If Carl opened the door, he would most likely receive the benefits and live the rest of his life in comfort.
“Would you sacrifice yourself to save a planet of your people?” Carl had walked over, ripped open, and looked through another set of wires as he spoke to the negotiator. He was glad that the room blocked not only the sight of the ugly bastards, but their stench. Before the war, he’d been on one of their stations. Genetic tampering had been rampant in their culture for millenia, and it meant that their appearance had been turned into a fashion of sorts, though a slowly shifting one. It was too bad that they had apparently taken some very, very strange ideals this time around. Abstraction was the name of the game for them, and Picasso would have been proud of what these aliens had made themselves into. Colors, shapes, and even the smell of their bodies were up for fuckery.
“Of course, would you not?” The alien sounded exasperated, and after the roundabouts Carl had spent the first hour talking to them about, it was no surprise. He was pretty sure that he’d spent at least twenty minutes talking about clowns and cocaine. Carl knew that there were only a few more panels where his prize would be waiting inside of. The ‘red wire’ was randomized in every ship. It was crucial, it was very important to the functioning of the reactor, and by extension, the orbital station. Gravity manipulation wasn’t easy. It wasn’t supposed to be easily found by any normal engineer. Its existence was kept down-low and close to heart. People spilled their hearts out over drinks.
“I’d like to think I would, though you never know until the moment arises. How about a continent? Save a few hundred million for your life?” Another panel down, and no wire to be found. A small notion of doubt had entered Carl’s mind by this point, it was pretty unlikely to not have found THE wire yet. Ten panels down, two to go. He spent a small moment playing eeny meeny miny moe between his two choices. The song said ‘right’. His gut told him to break the rule of the song, however, and he started taking the left one apart.
“If I had to.” And there it was. Carl could see that he had been right about the xenos. Little by little, Carl had started to see why this war had begun in the first place, and why these pricks would eventually lose it all. They had none of that go get em attitude to offset their bulging egos. They expected everyone they met to work off of a calculated list of pros and cons. Every action should be explainable by numbers, logic, and personal gain. Though even they had a small sense of collective good, not much, but a little.
“How about a city, let's say. . . 5 million people?” Carl just wanted to know how the negotiator’s personal scale weighed life. He felt like he was getting real close to the creature’s balance point. He also knew that the negotiator was grasping at straws to get the ‘illogical and unpredictable’ human to open the door for the xenos. If the negotiator was a human, they’d be ordering every type of explosive to blast the door before Carl could finish cooking up his plan. Carl took all the joy he could from the situation. He honestly felt like Bugs Bunny in the moment, the other side was simply so, so fucking dense to his plans. They’d probably hold a wrench for him if he just quickly opened the door and told them to. Fucking xenos.
“Hmmm, I would.” Carl had found the special wire that he’d been searching for. It wasn’t red, but it was as thick as his forearms. He carefully inserted a wire of his own into a joint on the wire, making very sure that it was attached properly. He wanted the following moments to have some theatrical value. Something to really talk about in whatever afterlife there was or wasn’t.
The intercom started buzzing for a moment, but he quickly screamed at the top of his lungs into the transmitter to shut the xeno up before it could start talking again.
Carl had his own monologue to get through while he dragged the massive wire across the room.
“You people work with variables and numbers so much more than we do, you’ve certainly realized that by now. You’ve had to really sweeten the deal you originally offered me and STILL nothing. We must be a very interesting debate subject in your universities. A statistical curiosity that befuddles the known models and expected values.”
“And you really fucked up when you thought we were almost like you. You saw our math, you saw our logical arguments, and you thought us to be mirrors of you. The problem with that is that we sent the people most like you to talk to you. Not a good decision for either of us. Good thing for us is that even our people who most resemble you are still human. They told you to fuck off real fast when you gave them a spreadsheet of expected taxes, exports, and laws. You started the war because we gave you more shit than your asses could handle.”
“AND THEN you tried to handle the war like it was a particularly ornery business meeting. You still are. I have been holed up with the MAIN REACTOR CORE for more than an hour. I have been insulting you, playing dumb, playing smart, and talking about SACRIFICING YOURSELF for most of that time. Why, most humans would have BLOWN UP with rage after all the shit I’ve been pulling. The situation would have gone CRITICAL if you had any sense.”
“It’s like you want this all to come CRASHING DOWN.”
“But hey, don’t worry about that, would you sacrifice yourself out of a personal vendetta against a single individual? No lives saved, nothing particularly impressive gained, really just an all in all stupid thing to do. Would you?” Carl was holding the door open switch in one hand, and the special switch in another. For him the scene would end in what he expected to be a very bright light. But there was a bit of foreplay to be had before going all in.
“No, of course not, that would not be good for anybody.” The slamming on the door started again, it was impressively fast, but still useless. Carl pressed the switch as far as he dared before he felt it teeter on the very, very edge of activation. He smiled and thought of the last good steak he’d had, some months ago now.
“On the contrary my friend, why if you only add spite, revenge, and everything sweet to your little calculations, you’d know that it would be very good indeed.” Carl pressed the door open switch and watched as four shapes crashed through and fell on the floor. A fifth one peeked through the doorway. Carl waved at him with the fun switch.
“My favourite explosives are flashbangs.” Carl twitched his thumb just the tiniest bit, and the reactor started to laugh in response. The reactor’s laugh was very quickly getting louder, so Carl had to yell at the very top of his lungs to get the last part across to the negotiator.
“ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE A LOT OF BANG IN THEM!!!”
The reactor thought this comment was especially funny, and broke down in laughter.
The light was red.
This one was very fun to write, I am not good with writing serious stuff, but I think I do a good job with using expressive language and shitting out references.
I hope you enjoyed reading!

got diagnosed with ADHD recently. i think I always saw the symptoms as a kid but put it off because of the whole immigrant family-school is everything dynamic. I’m a humanities major and I’ve gotten away with relying on lectures instead of reading, and writing papers instead of timed tests. when i do have to read or take a test; i prepare extraordinarily and i make it work. i’ve always made it work so im having a shit ton of imposter syndrome now thinking about getting accommodations for the lsat. like to the point where im asking myself if i subconsciously faked my answers throughout the multi-day testing process.
i just keep asking myself why THIS is the one thing I can’t seem to do when I’ve figured out a way to do everything else academically so far. I know the lsat is so different but somehow I got a 31 on the act and i have a good gpa so clearly, i must have done something right. why is the lsat the one thing I need accommodations for? now, I know the answer to this. its because I use every adhd productivity hack on the internet and I’ve been using them since well before my diagnosis. I don’t know why I feel so guilty that I’ve learned how to function with it, but now I’m incredibly frustrated why I can’t seem to translate that to the LSAT.
i’ve been studying for the lsat for a few months now. my brains gets every other word confused. I’ll swap true for false and completely ignore the huge EXCEPT. I’ll read the stimulus thinking it says X did Y when its really X saw Z do Y. I’m rereading every question three times. I use the white noise machine in my library study room and then a personal white noise machine and i have to turn away from the door and put headphones on because even the slightest noise, like a chip bag crinkling, or the smallest movement, like someone walking by, makes me lose 5-6 minutes on the timer because once I lose focus its impossible to get it back. i can’t finish in time, the only decent thing I have going on is accuracy. the questions that I do comprehend without making stupid errors, I get right.
But it’s exhausting. I am exhausted with myself. I feel incompetent and thats not even the worst part. Theres so much imposter syndrome. Some part of me is convinced that I’m making this all up, that its genuinely this hard for everybody else and that I’m completely exaggerating my own perception until I convince myself that I might need accommodations. I’m not sure why I’m posting this, i should journal this instead, but anyways. Apologies for the typos and shitty grammar .

Okay this might be the longest reddit post I've ever made. But this requires a lot of context before I ask for advice from you guys. So thanks for reading in advance.
Okay where to start? Me (20F) and this guy (20M) (let's call him P for anonymous reasons) were very good friends for around 8 years, before we even really considered the fact that we liked each other. So a few years back in 2021 (yes that messy year) he asked me out. And I said yes. I couldn't believe my luck honestly. I never thought he would ever like me back (maybe that's partly due to my self esteem issues idk) but he did!
Okay so we went out for a few months before things started to get a bit difficult. I met his parents early on and they liked me and everything was great. But then several bad things happened which I will now talk about.
First up we attended youth group together. This was amazing at first. But then there was this prom (if you don't know what that is its kind of like a disco) with a lot of young people together. And he ignored me basically the entire night which really upset me (as you can imagine) And this is when my mom started to really dislike him (they had a great relationship)
A few weeks after that we attended a camp holiday together. Even though I was slightly upset I did love him and I wanted everyone to get along. After all that's what everyone wants right? Anyway during this camp, P ignored me the entire time. And then I attempted to badly injure myself.Now you may think that's it right? No. And that's kind of where this entire mess starts.
After that my mom despised him. She started to distrust me (not just because of P but because of other unwise decisions I had made) she came across sexual messages on my phone from him, and as I claimed to be ace and was upfront about sex making me uncomfortable, this infuriated her. I was 17 at the time and I was studying for a levels (and so was he) she because of this forced me to spend a year without seeing him and we both really struggled with this. After that year took place and I got a place at uni, we mutually decided to see each other of our own accord. After a few months, I decided to ask him out again following a trip to his accommodation (and things being very tense between us) and he said yes, after being slightly hesitant over problems it may cause. So that's what we did. We became secret and loved each other in the way we always wanted to but couldn't.
So that brings us to the present. I recently told Mom in therapy I was seeing P again because I couldn't handle the guilt anymore (as you can imagine) and I told him after and he said that is was over between us. I knew he didn't want this and we had an argument regarding the situation (we rarely argue) and I later found out exactly why he was so angry (a friend really hurt themselves) so he wasn't acting himself. We tried to give each other space but couldn't, and we found ourselves flirting consistently with the other and then a few days later he asks do you want to be friends with benefits instead? I said yes (knowing this is probably the best I would ever get)
Now I don't know a lot about the whole friends with benefits situation, but it seems to be certain rules you stick by. Like the relationship is purely based on sex, and there's no kisses goodbye or whatever. No cuddles whatsoever. Now writing this I have just spent a weekend with him, and we both said we love each other several times. As well as having sex, and doing all the usual couple things. I am so confused at what we are.
Now I haven't yet told you in detail about his side of this situation. He is disabled (he had a stroke at 4) and half of his brain is damaged which has sadly impacted some of the decisions he has made. His parents got told by my mom and my uncle that he was trying to commit sexual abuse towards me and that I was emotionally far below my age. Now everything I did with him was purely mutual and consentual. We had discussions regarding me being ace and being comfortable in situations. Now his parents think we are just friends and mom has claimed she is going to tell both of them about him seeing me.
Guys I want to know what you all think. Am I right in pursuing this strong emotional connection with him? Our futures both align perfectly and even my friends have said how perfect our connection is, and how they dream that they could have something similar. I genuinely belive he is my soul mate. I know people have gone through relationships their parents have disapproved of and it's ended up okay. He is my rock and I'm his. I just want us to be together with no secrets.
Again thanks for reading and I appreciate all views! I just really need the help and advice on what to do next
Thanks