Elliot Nitwit was a CIA informant and is responsible for the collapse of both NATO and the UN in 1998. On a diplomatic mission to Beijing, Nitwit would deeply anger Jiang Zemin, who would send Beijing police to detain Nitwit. Nitwit went on the run and ended up in a Tibetan village named My Cok Hurtou, which ended up being the location of his headquarters from here on. He obtained contact with United States officials and arranged a rescue team to retrieve him and a few Chinese hookers as incentive. Bill Clinton had accidentally got too faded off the lean and decided it was a good idea to begin carpet bombing the Tibetan, Yunnan, and Guangdong provinces of Southern China. This would lead to a global conflict, beginning with Greeces declaration of war on Turkey, Finland on Russia, and the Ethiopian annexation of Kenya and parts of modern day South Sudan. Nitwit was rescued and brought to Clinton's nuclear bunker for lunch. Nitwit was given high quality codeine by Clinton and the two began sippin so much they was literally pissin lean. In mid 1999, nearly 10 months after the start of start of the war, an investigation was opened on Nitwit for war crimes, human rights abuse, and conspiracy to commit mail fraud. Nitwit was secretly working with foreign investors to bet against top American companies, while simultaneously profiting off of the tumbling stocks. In addition, Nitwit was responsible for 14 fentanyl labs in Vancouver, Canada and a further 5 more in Tijuana, Mexico. For 24 years, Nitwit's location remained unknown until September 23rd, 2023 when a body was received by the Broward County Coroner, being identified as Elliot Nitwit. Kodak Black killed Nitwit in self defense after a fight at a gay nightclub called the Testicle Saloon. It is unknown to this day where Nitwit was hiding out for over two decades.

Continuing…
“Hellfire and dalmatians”, I exclaim to Toivo over breakfast at our hotel. “Do you realize we’re sitting in what would be considered an enemy nation as Expat nationals while said country is invading another country?”
Toivo wipes some of the bagel and lox crumbs out of his luxurious General Melchitt moustache and says “Well ”, he chuckles, “I’m not worried. With your connections, we’re probably going to interview Putin before this is all over.”
“Right, Mr. Sanchez”, I snort derisively, “Although if I could…Hell, imagine ol’ Rack and Ruin’s eyes when I hand them a new 3-inch-thick dossier. Now that you mention it…”
Toivo’s own eyes go wide. “Rock, you’re not thinking what I’m thinking, are you?”
“Perhaps, Toiv…”, I smirk, “But where would we get 30 meters of anchor chain and an Ex-Bolshoi ballet dancer’s leotard at this hour?”
“Damn it, Rock”, Toivo chuckles, “You’re so weird you should come with subtitles.”
I couldn’t not agree.
Later, after consumption of what would be considered the caloric equivalent of a third-world country’s GNP, Toivo and I split up for our daily activities. I need to meet Olga tonight, precisely at 1700 hours, and Toivo was asked to tag along.
He says he’ll try, but with business meetings and the current state of what’s happening here and in neighboring countries, we’ll just have to see.
I, being my own self, was wrestling with the very notion of doing business with an openly antagonistic, imperialistic, and well, let’s just say it, an invading country.
But…Russia is the country where I first broke into the international oil business. I have multitudes of Russian friends…and hellfire and fuckbuckets, it’s not “Russia” that’s invaded Ukraine, it’s “the Russian Army” under direct orders of good ol’ rootin-tootin’ Putin.
It’s not the Russian people here. So far, the few I’ve chatted with here at the hotel and in the cab, utterly decry Putin and his idiotic ways.
Plus, for the first time since I watched the tanks creep along Leningradsky Prospeckt, my Russian friends are scared.
Fucking scared. Outright terrified.
Scared of the megalomaniacal Putin. Scared of the resurgent NKVD. Scared of people forgetting the horrors of Russian Communism, Stalin, and the gulag.
Scared of these latter things somehow returning.
I need to give this serious consideration. I am conflicted. I hate what Russia is doing, but I refuse to abandon my Russian friends and coworkers.
There are many things to be reevaluated before returning to launch point…
So, today I’m in a cab headed towards o ne of three Russian oil companies to have a chat with either a senior VP, Chairman or President of the company.
It was remarkable easy to just pick up the hotel phone, identify oneself and ask to speak to one of the company’s higher-ups.
It pays to have a bit of street cred here.
“Yes, it’s Dr. Rocknocker calling for Vladimir Ouespenskaya. Could you please put me through immediately, as I was asked by Mr. Ouespenskaya to call when I arrived in town.”
“Yes, now if you please. And thank you.”
Never fails. I get to speak with the head honcho and not diddle around with Personal Assistants, Human Resources or on the odd occasion, bodyguards.
I won’t bore the reader with the pleasantries and tribulations I went through that afternoon. However, each was indeed pleased to see me and once we got the initial pleasantries out of the way and the vodka started to flow…
I have never heard of captains of industry all ready to go fetal. And remember, I worked for Yukos and Enron.
Each of the three main guys-in-charge were at once, immediately personable. Once they calmed down and was assured I wasn’t some deep-cover NVKD agent provocateur, they all became most cordial, friendly and at the same time, terrified.
I explained my personal reason for seeking out an audience with them, that I was a consultant Hired gun for the industry, had worked in Russia for many years and was curious as to the environment now that Russia was actively at war and what they thought what might be an outcome.
Remember, back in 1990 or so when Communism went into a global career slump, it was primarily fueled, if you’ll pardon the pun, by ‘oil at any price’ to continue arms development and military spending, all of which was funded by that hardest of world currency, the Petrodollar.
Santayana was correct, “Those who do not remember their past are condemned to repeat their mistakes. Those who do not read history are doomed to repeat it. Those who fail to learn from the mistakes of their predecessors are destined to repeat them. Those who do not know history's mistakes are doomed to repeat them.”
And here was a prime example of history poised to repeat itself.
However, with Communism gone, and capitalism hanging on by its toenails, what would fill that void which nature so solemnly detests?
That was the question no one dare explicitly ask, nor explicitly answer for fear of invoking it into reality.
Sort of a global ‘head in the sand’ approach.
I asked some fiercely pointed questions that related directly to those things these moguls could somewhat control: drilling, environmentalism, exploration, reserve replacement and the progression of the industry as a whole.
As expected, most were introspect. Meaning, they feared “What’s going to happen to me?”
After that, they were concerned what would happen with their company.
Then, they sort of showed some concern where Mother Russia was headed.
One, or even two of these characters voicing these concerns would be vexatious enough, but to have the three heads of the three largest Russian oil companies singing the same song, virtually note for note, was indeed troubling.
I was troubled by the apparent lack of concern for the guys (and gals) in the trenches. Not only the petroleum scientists, but across the board, from the mailroom intern to the senior tea lady.
Oh, to their credit, they paid lip service to “preserving the status quo” and “providing for the masses”; but I felt the hot breath of George Santayana in my ear every time I asked them about the disposition of the company.
They had theirs, so they hoped the others had their own.
This shit goes on for much longer, and Russia and NATO go at it toe-to-toe, and we’re going to dial the clock back to 1945 and a certain 3-front war.
On that note, I gratefully notice it’s near time to head over to Olga’s.
I hop down to the street and look for a likely-looking Uber or Lyft driver.
After a couple of wreckers pull the resulting carnage apart, I chose the least misshapen vehicle and ask if the driver speaks English.
“Yes, sir!”, he replied smartly.
“Good”, I reply as I fold myself and all my kit into the back seat. “I need to do a bit of shopping before our final destination, can you be bought for the next hour or so?”
I waved a crisp, new Benjamin in his rear-view mirror view, heard an audible gasp (as the Ruble was now trading at 133 to the US dollar), and I do think he fell in love right then and there.
Not with me, but with my per diem.
“Kharasho”, I said, “Now, listen carefully. I need to be at 1350 Tverskaya Prospeckt, Apartment 20, at precisely 1655 hours, got that?”
He nodded like a new puppy that just messed outside instead of on the new Persian rug.
“Good”, I said, “But first, I need to do some shopping.” As I hand him a list.
“I can do this!”, he exclaims.
“Then, let us do so.”, I replied.
So, we were off careening into Moscow traffic, sans directionals, but we echoed melodiously as he coaxed some tinny Tchaikovsky out of the ancient car’s horn.
A few minutes later, we pull up to the first store. Now I realized I had a quandary, leave my computer and other such 21st century flotsam and jetsam in the back of some unknown Russian hack or…
“You will stay in car”, my driver smiled, “Give me money, I have your list. You wait here. Have smoke (he could see my cigar case in my business vest) and Vasyli do your shopping. I get best price. Besides, I leave my car with you.”
I extended a hand and a manly handshake ensues.
“I’m Rock”, I said, “Here. One of my cigars on retainer and here US$50. That be enough?”
“Maybe, maybe not”, Vasyli smiles.
“OK, you pirate. Here’s another 50. I want change!”, I said to a suddenly vacant seat.
“AND RECEIPTS FOR VAT!” I shouted as he ran off, waving, to the shops.
I extracted today’s newspaper (“Not much Pravda (truth) in Izvestia (news), little Izvestia (news) in Pravda (truth)” as the old saying goes), emergency flask #4 and a nice oscuro Churchill cigar and proceed to catch up on the news of the day.
I’m plodding my way through the paper, when there’s a rap on the window.
It’s one of the blue suited minions of the Main Directorate of Internal Affairs of the City of Moscow.
“Oh, dear”, I think, “It’s the fuzz.”
I roll down the rear window as far as it goes and this guy begins at high-decibel, machine-gun cadence Russian.
As far as I could gather, he was displeased with our park job.
Well, if you don’t like the way we drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Anyways, I’m trying to calm him down and in my broken Russian explain a that I am an American businessman [“Я американский бизнесмен!”], and here on the highest orders of someone or another that I hoped they’d recognized as someone important.
I had to flick the ash on my cigar and when it hit the street, I thought he’d go into low-earth orbit.
I knew the deal.
I slowly pulled out my cigar case and extracted on of my few remaining stogies and handed it to the constable.
Like an enriched-cadmium rod shoved into a near-critical nuclear reactor, he visibly simmered down.
I also handed him my business card, which, once I communicated that he should flip it over and read the Cyrillic, which he did and calmed down even further.
We were having a strangled conversation when Vasyli emerges from the shops, burdened by his purchases.
With the policeman’s assistance, he shoved, carefully, all my purchase and stuffs the receipts and change (to the kopek) into my hand.
Vasyli and him then head off to quick-Russian land again about the reason he was here, Vasyli’s park job.
I quickly calculated that with traffic and this obstinate policeman, I’d never make it to Olga’s on time so I told Vasyli to give the cop my change and we need to be on our way.
“Tell him I need to be at 1350 Tverskaya Prospeckt in a half hour!” I yelled.
Vasyli complied and the cop suddenly got very quiet.
“Please, sir”, he said, “Sorry for the interruption. Everything is in order. You leave now.”
“We will”, I replied, “But first, your name and badge number.”
He grew visibly whiter, even more so when he saw me jot down his badge number in my notebook.
However, the cigar he accepted disappeared, but the graft he was just about to stuff into his tunic reappeared with an apology and a look of contrition.
As we wamble down the road towards our destination, I asked Vasyli why the cop got so white when I mentioned our journey’s end.
“Old KGB-land. Is where all old NKVD agents live.” He replies.
“I see. Thanks for that.”, I say and hand him the change and a fresh, new Benjamin.
I see Toivo wandering around like a Border Collie that’s lost all its sheep and give him a whistle.
“Toivo!”, I shout, “Over here.”
He wanders over and I tell him to grab something out of the back seat.
“Don’t want to appear like a Geek not bearing gifts”, I snickered.
Toivo grabbed both bottle of rare vodka and let me wrestle with the rest.
I ask Vasyli if he wants to come up and meet Olga and he pales considerably.
“No, Comrade Rocksi”, he chuckled, “I must go drive.”
“Bullshit”, I thought, “I just made your night if not week.”
“OK, then”, I said as I gathered up the remaining jetsam. “Well, Vasyli, it’s been real. Here’s my card.”
“Wait please”, he says, as he rifles around in his car and present me with “My card.” He smiles. “If Academician Rock needs a ride, now he knows who to call. 24 hours a days, 7 days a week.”
“We’ll be in town for a while,” I say to Vasyli. “Expect a call from us at any time. I like cold vodka and Toivo here likes cold piva.”
I thump the side of my throat with my right index finger.
Vasyli flicks his right index finger up along his throat. He grins as wide as the Moscow River, shakes our hands and peels off into the waning northern daylight.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Toivo asked.
“It’s a very Russian thing. Some king or duke or someone bestowed his favorite knight, who was wounded in battle, with free eats and drinks across his kingdom. Since the knight could no longer speak, the thump of the index finger on one’s throat is indication of food and drink to be supplied.”
“Jesus Christ, Rock”, Toivo sighed, “Just when I feel I’ve got the hang of this place.”
“That’s the first thing you should realize. No one anywhere has the first clue about this place. Now you have the beginning of real wisdom” I chuckled and hoisted up my purchases.
We, in unison, began the long trudge up the 13 steps that led to Olga’s place.
We rang Olga’s doorbell as I hid behind the absolutely huge floral bouquet Vasyli had procured for me. More than two dozen American Beauty Roses, Siberian Fawn Lilies, Lady Slipper Orchid, Cryptic Crazyanthemums, Fernleaf Peonies, Dingdang Daisies, Royal Azaleas, Russian Lotus’, Viola Incisa, Golden Roots, Schrenck’s Tulips, Chamomile, Tiger Lilies, and Russian Sage, all in a tasteful bouquet setting some 1 meter wide.
The door opens and I yell “Package for Olga Galinka Vladimirovna!”.
I can’t see Olga yet, I do hear her.
“Святой вау![‘Holy wow!’], I hear her say.
“May we enter?” I ask.
“Please! Please!” she says.
We enter and I tell Toivo to lose the shoes and select some carpet slippers from the pile in the mud room, as I do likewise.
I hand Olga the bouquet and I can’t quite follow the terms of endearment she’s uttering.
Flowers are a major gift in Russia. Everyone loves them, especially old KGB babushkas.
She toddles off to the kitchen to find a vase (or several) so that all can enjoy. She tells Toivo and me to go to the den and have a seat, that she’ll be right along.
Toivo and I go into the den, past the hanging clacker bead-doorway and spy a very old gentlemen snoozing in a recliner next to the far wall.
We find seats and set down our other presents on the dining room table and sit looking somewhat puzzled.
“I never knew Olga was married”, I whispered to Toivo.
Toivo is scoping the place, a cross between pre-1912 classical Russia, the KGB-NKVD kulture and Japanese flat screen TVs.
Olga appears with two overflowing vases and sets them down, strategically, on the dining room table and another end table on the opposite side of the room.
I stand and offer Olga my hand, we shake and she grabs me in a great bear hug.
“Thank you for such beautiful flowers,” she gushes, “And you do not forget, odd numbers for good luck. Acadamecian Rocknocker, you are good student!”
I smile and thank her, then go to introduce Toivo.
“Olga”, I said, “This is a lifelong friend and my comrade Toivo. Please, don’t break him.”
Olga laughs and lets out a screech when Toivo hands here a fairly huge box of Ganache Cien Blue Box.
Olga knows her shit.
“Oh, Toivo!”, she squeals, “Good Scandinavian name! Why do you hang around with the likes of this hooligan?” she asks, pointing over to me.
“It seemed like the logical thing to do”, Toivo mutters.
“Olga”, I said, “This is also for you”, as I hand her a bottle of Дербентское (Derbent) Мускатное Российское Шампанское Белое Полусладкое (Muscat Russian Champagne White Semisweet), her favorite brand.
Olga squees again and walks over to the sleeping subject in the chair. She whacks his foot and shouts “Pshenichnikov Leonid! We have guests.”
Leo, as he prefers to be called, rouses and at the sight of Toivo and his cheesy moustache and me looking like 1/3rd of an aging Texas rock band, jumps up and stares.
“Ach! Leo, they’re my friends.” Olga explains. “This one is Toivo and this is Academician Rocknocker.”
I’m closest, so I walk over, offer my hand in friendship and say “Call me Rock.”
Toivo follows suit and we all stand around like a cadet review.
Knowing that this situation demands social lubrication, I pull a bottle of Starka Hunter’s Vodka out of my vest and present it to Leo.
Leo’s eyes bug like a stepped-on bullfrog.
Toivo presents another bottle, this time of Chopin Family Reserve, and hands it to Olga.
The room is practically cleared by the vortex left by Leo as he ran to the kitchen to get glasses, pickles, dried fish, and other things very Russian that go along with some serious drinking.
He motions all to sit around the dinner table and he’s suddenly stuck with a quandary…which bottle to open first.
I hand Toivo the Starka, and I grab the Chopin and on three…we open both bottles and make a big issue of throwing away the caps.
“Proper Russian gentlemen!”, Leo claps his hands to his face. “Open both bottles and lose the caps! Come! Come.” He motions us to sit.
I know the protocol, so I let Leo serve us all. Very healthy tots of Starka for all, and he stands as he assumes the role of Tamandar.
He says nice things about whatever he can think of that’s nice in this day and age, but mostly to Olga (his girlfriend for the last 25 years) and to new friends; especially large ones with good taste in flowers, chocolates and vodka.
Olga gets the chocolates, but carefully stashes the champagne (“That’s special…for me.”) and returns to the table.
There was a grand couple of hours which Toivio fluffed his toast grandly and was the cause of much mirth for the rest of the night. I toasted to better days, better feelings and better government, both here and in the US. They particularly liked that sentiment, as they’re not huge Putin fans.
Olga cleared room on the table and announced it’s dinnertime. And what a repast: pelmeni, smoked salmon, smoked sturgeon, mandarins, grapes, apples, pears, boiled potatoes, homemade borscht, homemade dark Russian rye bread, and black caviar on toast points with slice onions, pickles and sour cream.
Good, solid peasant food and from the consumption, it fed well this batch of good, solid peasants.
Of course, there was wine (Moldovian), beer and the remains of the vodka.
The impromptu party continued late into the night, but at midnight, Toivo and I had to beg off as we had appointments in the morning.
So, this meant that we got out of there around 0200. As I put on my vest, I noticed my passport had been tampered with. Toivo’s was missing altogether.
Olga chuckled, and handed Toivo his passport.
“Do not be afraid, Comrade Academician Rock”, Olga pronounced, “Look Later, I’ve left for you a little present. Not now, look later.”
We departed after promising Olga and Leo that we’d both visit again; I expressed hopes that we could do this again before we had to leave.
“Ach!”, Olga scoffed, “They should be happy you are here. Fools they are. Fools and idiots.”
We could not agree more.
I called Vasyil and damned if he didn’t show up in about 10 minutes. He almost went apoplectic when I went to toss the remains of my cigar before I got into his car.
“No problem, Doctor”, he smiled.
Yes, he got another cigar along with ah healthy tip when we arrived, Toivo snoring soundly, at the hotel.
“Vasyil, da zaftra”, I said, “1000 sharp. Right here. Kharasho?”
He smiled at the prospect of driving Toivo and me around the city. I needed to order some more cigars, it appeared.
We poured Toivo into his bed and I retired to my room to finish updating several dossiers. I called Esme and talked at length to her voicemail as she was out shopping or something evil of that nature. I drew a jacuzzi, did several laps, smoked a nice cigar and put a dent into the room not-so-mini bar.
I left a wake-up call for 0800 and sent one more Email to Rack and Ruin. I needed cigars, and having them send them in the diplomatic pouch was quicker that running around a warring Moscow trying to find the damned things.
I plopped into be and don’t recall if I had left the water running in the jacuzzi or not before I was off in the land of nod.
The next morning at breakfast, Toivo looked like he fell asleep in a side row and someone had run him over, several times, with a brush hog.
“Damn, Toiv, you look like shit”, I said, very diplomatically. “Take a day, you must be flanged (tired). I need Vasyil today anyways. Whatever you got can wait.”
Toivo looked up from his morning Greenland Coffee with two eyes that resembled orbs of very lean bacon rather that ocular structures, nodded slightly and shuffled back to his suite.
“Well, me ol’ mucker”, I said to no one in particular, “Looks like you’re on your own today.”
I get a twix back in the room that a package had arrived for me, but I needed to collect it at the American Embassy.
Rack and Ruin’s little pissed-off joke that I made them couriers. They could have sent it to the hotel, but, well...you know those agency types…
Vasyil showed up right on time, and I told him that I need him all day. He had no problem with that, especially if my per diem was still in force.
“Sure is, Vas”, I said, “First stop today, Russian National Petroleum on Chistye Prudy.”
We were there with plenty of time to spare, so I told Vas to park the car and we’d have a coffee while we waited.
I interviewed the CEO and wasn’t the least bit surprised that he echoed the others I had interviewed the day before. Scared of everything, especially losing his cozy position. Only after some prodding, did he express concerns for the workers.
My next interviewee, at The Great Eastern and Western Siberian Oil Company, was down south near Krasnogvardeyskaya. I told Vas that after this one, we’ll head over to Ismilovya, Moscow’s great open air rynok and I’ll buy him lunch.
Same song, same notes. Terrified of their shadows, and fearful of nationalization, loss of jobs and welfare and of course, thoughts and prayers for the workers.
It was right at 1300 when we wheeled into Ismilova and headed right for the shashlik corner of the open-air bazaar. Being the international ambassador of amity, I give Vas as few thousand rubles (at RUR 133 = US$1, I could be magnanimous) and asked him to obtain a selection of the meat-on-a-stick (chicken, mutton, beef, fish) and I’d line up the drinks.
He returns with two burgeoning platefuls of skewered and bar-be-qued meat, some bread, a few bottles of different sauces and salt. I had provided a couple bottles of vodka, though to his credit, Vas didn’t drink hard liquor and drive; and a couple pitchers of Baltica #9 beer.
I had made certain that we sat in the outdoor smoking section, even though it was early March, the weather could turn on us in a microsecond.
There is a high degree of police presence at the market, as it is open-air and evidently a great place for the more athletic thief just to snatch some bits or bobs and haul ass, only to disappear into the crowds or surrounding woods.
So, I made a nod to every cop that walked by; nothing intrusive, just the usual Midwestern nod of the head or tip of the cup that you see them and acknowledge their presence. It helps keep things on a more or less even keel, especially if you’re a Western Expat.
Especially nowadays.
We finished up and since I decided to take the afternoon to finish my clerical duties. I sat back, fired up a large cigar and offered Vas one as well. He demurred, so I just freshened my drink and we along with my favorite outdoor sport: people watching.
Such a cross-section of humanity. People from Asia, Europe, the west, the east, Africans, the odd schnozzled Aussie, the occasional bewildered Canadian…
I feel the whap of a swagger stick across my back as I jump up to confront whosoever would disturb my coolness. I was feeling quite at ease with the world, adjusting my outlook for where I was and what was going on to the west, and some complete twat just shattered my entire мировоззрение, or worldview.
I’m standing there, ready to deal with any miscreant who dared to assault me, and from behind, the cowardly bag of dickcheese, when I realize it’s a local uniformed constable. He’s not on duty, per se, but renting himself and his uniform out as a rent-a-cop for the bazaar.
“Vas”, I asked, “Can you talk to this meathead and ask him why he thought is was necessary to smack be blindsided across the back?”
Vas probably would have wanted to be anywhere in the galaxy save for the exact 1-meter square he was now occupying. As a cab driver, he’s has loads of run-ins with the local cops and they are typically all surly, drunk, corrupt or any combination of the above.
Rapid-fire Russian ensued and Vas began to look more and more worried. Finally, he tells me that we’re in violation of the health codes and cannot smoke, even though we’re in the smoking section.
I hand Vas my phone and ask him to quickly snap a photo of us sitting directly under the МЕСТО ДЛЯ КУРЕНИЯ (“Smoking Area”) sign.
The cop did not like that and insisted on having my Agency-supplied phone.
“Het.”(“No.”), I replied.
“Какой?!” (“What?”) he replied.
(I’ll just switch to all English, so imagine this conversation in really broken Russian), “Sorry, but that’s my personal property, I’ve done nothing untoward and I’m not going to give you my phone.”
This enraged him as he started swinging his baton around in a truthfully menacing manner.
“Sir, if you’ll calm yourself, I’ll explain.”, I said, “I am an American Expat here on official job detail. If you want to detain me, I suggest you call the American Embassy immediately, as is my prerogative. Otherwise, desist with your harassment.”
That really lit the fuse, particularly after I sat down and freshened my drink.
He called for back-up and soon, we were awash in a sea of people in camo utilities, all arguing with each other as to what should be done.
Vas was about to blow a gasket. I told him to sit down or he’d upset his lunch and we wouldn’t want that now, would we.
“Sit down and have a beer”, I said, “No worries. It’s me they’re after, you’re just an innocent bystander. I’ve got the American Embassy to back me up. Moderate your excitation.”
Finally, one of the more decorated of the bunch walks over to me and says that one word that causes the chill to run up and down every expats spine: “Документы, пожалуйста.”, “Paper, please.”
“Sure, no problem.” I say, “’Always what the police want’, I always say.”
I handed over my perfectly in-order papers and he snatches it away and flips open my passport, but doesn’t rifle through it. He’s stuck on page one. He completely forgot about Vas standing there sending off seismic signals, as he was shaking so much.
The head cop blinked a few dozen times, broke into a cold sweat, began to fidget and stumble and told his minions to disperse, at least that’s what Vas told me.
Vas also said the cop apologized profusely for being whacked with the baton and that if I wanted the person responsible would be brought up on charges.
His whole demeanor shifter 180^0, as he proceeded to bow and scrape and gently gave back my passport, insisted we shake hands and letting me know that nothing like this will ever happen again.
I was just a bit perplexed.
We shook hands, and he bowed and scraped a bit as he backed away and disappeared into the crowd.
“What the actual fuck was that all about?” I said aloud to no one in particular.
Vas piped up, “Diplomatic Passport? that’s what probably scared him. Can I see?”
“Sure”, I replied, “Here you go.” As I handed it over.
Vas flipped it open, got to page one and just let out a low whistle, like one would do passing a terrible wreck on the highway.
“Dr. Rock”, Vas said, “Did you know about this?” and he points to the nice, new card, gilded and affixed to my passport that read:
«По этим подаркам узнай всех людей: Носитель этого документа является известным и преданным сторонником Комитета государственной безопасности (КГБ) Оперативно-технического управления НКВД (Народный комиссариат внутренних дел) и безупречен. Да будет известно, что этому лицу будет оказано всяческое содействие и знаки внимания, о которых просит Председатель «Единой России». – Подпись, Ольга Галинка Владимировна, Начальник cмотритель отдела, Московская область».
“Recognize all people by these presents: The bearer of this document is a well-known and devoted supporter of the State Security Committee (KGB) of the Operational and Technical Directorate of the NKVD (People's Commissariat of Internal Affairs) and is impeccable. Let it be known that this person will be provided with all possible assistance, courtesy and signs of attention, which the Chairman of United Russia asks for. - Signature, Olga Galinka Vladimirovna, Head of Overseer Department, Moscow Region.”
I actually had to blink several times before the full realization of this hit me.
“Olga is such a little minx.”, I smiled.
“I didn’t know how important you were”, Vas said, half chuckling, “Now I will really try and avoid all potholes in the road.”
“I swear”, I explained to Vas, “That I had no idea. Olga must have slipped that into my passport the other night. She’s such a little trickster.”
“You know this person”, Vas asked, somewhat incredulously.
“For decades”, I replied, “We became good friends when I worked in Western Siberia.”
“It’s good to have such friends, especially now, Doctor”, Vas smiled.
He knew as long as he hung around with the Motherfucking Pro from Dover, he’d lead a charmed life.
We finished up shopping at Ismilova. With the current exchange rate, the US Dollar wasn’t just hard currency, it was adamantium.
We loaded, well, Vas loaded everything into his cab and we sped back to the hotel. I needed to make a series of phone calls, some twix’s and Email some folks. They’ll all get a charge out of these latest developments.
I finally spoke at length with Esme and she found the whole situation outrageously funny. She also added to her already burgeoning shopping list “since I was well known at Ismilova” and would reap significant discounts.
“You already have a sable coat” I replied to her.
“Yeah”, but that was decades ago, before we returned to the Great White North: Esme countered.
“I’ll see what I can find…”
A new cigar, a fresh drink and I was almost ready to tackle the real downside of this job, all the fucking paperwork.
But first, some room service. Hell, I need to check out the local news as well. Except for the sporadic protests in Moscow and the general malaise of the populace, you’d be hard pressed to see this as a country at war.
But war it was. And I hate it.
I get ready to dial room service when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Toivo and he wants to go downstairs for a bit of a nosh and a tipple or two.
I protest that I have a mountain of paperwork, but Toivo is persistent, like a wood tick. I finally give in and we tromp down 4 floors to the restaurant.
First thing I notice, is that prices have skyrocketed. I squawked at the menu prices like I was the one actually paying for the meal, since the ruble used to be 33/US dollar, it’s now 134/US dollar. Well, that goes on expenses and hey, wait a minute. That means even though prices have gone up, so has our spending power.
Ah, the hell with it. Either way, I’m ordering a big ass steak (blue) with a couple-seven drinks. After all, it’s been a hectic day, with more to come.
I ask Toivo is he has his passport and he says he does.
“Let me see it a minute”, I said.
“Nothing goofy? Right?” He asked as he fished his passport out of his jacket pocket.
“Of course not. I just need to see something”, I replied.
And there it was. Toivo got the same treatment from Olga. I showed him the gilt card in Cyrillic that was now part of his American blue passport.
“What the hell does it say?” He asked.
“Best as I can figure it, it’s a ‘get out of jail free’ card, of sorts.” I replied.
We asked a waiter if he could translate and he said sure. Halfway though the translation, he slowed, looked at us two over-the-hill hooligans like we were sprouting watermelons, and continued to finish.
“Is this for real”, Toivo and the waiter asked?
I produced my Russian red diplomatic passport and assured them it was.
The waiter looked spooked and skedaddled, luckily with our order. Beer and drinks appeared as if by magic.
“I swear, Toiv”, I swore, “I didn’t know Olga did this for us, and I certainly don’t want to use it like a threat…”
“But it’s still nice to have”, Toivo winked, “In case of emergency.”
“You can’t be an Ugly American”, I replied, “You’re too overqualified.”
We had a fine dinner, several too many drinks and after we poured Toivo in bed, once again, I tackled the mountain of paperwork that awaited.
Finishing that, and a nice bottle of Blue Label scotch; don’t worry, I called the front desk and ordered its replacement with Tennessee Sippin’ Stuff, I left my cigar in the marble ashtray, called Es to wish her a goodnight, even though we’re 8 hours ahead, and collapsed snuffling into bed.
What I thought was an air raid on the city was just my Agency phone lighting off in the early, wee, dark hours of the morning.
Cursing being awakened, I searched for the horrible blinking thing, found it, answered and growled:
“WHAT?!?”
The voice on the other side of the phone mechanically said “Code red. Begin preparations. Expect further instructions in 00:30 hours.”
…To Be Continued…

Eminem was born in 1972. Rakim-1968, LL Cool J-1968, Jay Z- 1969, Ice Cube-1969, 2Pac- 1971, Big Pun-1971, Snoop Dogg-1971, Nas-1973, and five months after Notorious B.I.G. So these are his contemporaries but he had the luxury of being able to study rather than compete. Now folktales will lead you to believe that he was just being slept on because he was white. But when you look at Beastie Boys, Vanilla Ice, 3rd Bass, etc. such disparities are not present. And that is quite irregular for someone who we are led to believe to be the greatest of all time. That would be like Magic Johnson being drafted to the NBA in 1979 and Larry Bird not being drafted until 1986 even though they competed against each other in college. How is it that no one from his age group was aware of him when during that era, one of the quickest, easiest and best ways to get on is attack folks directly?
Now I’m not hating on Eminem because he’s white either. There’s a lot of white artists whom I enjoy to varying degrees: Paul Wall, Mac Miller, Your Old Droog, Derek Pope, Machine Gun Kelly, Evidence, El-P of Run The Jewels, etc. What I am saying is that the aesthetic which his lyricism was packaged in is what has had folks putting all kinds of extras on him. Reminds me of when folks where caping for Jeremy Lin “Linsanity”. Like yeah, he was doing his thing, but it was WHO was doing it that had folks putting extras on it.
Stuff like his BET Cypher Donald Trump freestyle was cool as well as his song “White America”, but as the number one rapper in the world who happens to be white? This is what I consider low hanging fruit of liberals who try to simplify and reduce racism as isolated boogeymen that once exorcised, everything will be all good. But when has Eminem used his music and his platform to really speak to systemic racism white supremacy on a micro and macro level and be a champion of black empowerment while profiting off black culture? February 2003 The Source Magazine published “The Unbearable Whiteness of Emceeing: What the Eminence of Eminem Says About Race” which I found to be very insightful.
Eminem’s first project was in 1995 as a duo with Proof (rip). Same year as Only Built For Cuban Linx by Raekwon, The Infamous by Mobb Deep, Me Against The World by 2Pac, Soul Food by Goodie Mob, among others. Some of the most highly regarded albums and MCs ever and yet no one was checking for “the goat” Eminem?
Now in 1996 that is when Eminem put out his official solo project with Infinite. Same year as All Eyez On Me and Makaveli from 2Pac, Reasonable Doubt by Jay Z, It Was Written from Nas, The Score by Fugees, ATLiens from OutKast, etc. Who was checking for Eminem??
We’re going to just skip all the fire that came out 1997–98 such as DMX, Redman, Big Pun, Juvenile, Method Man. But do your Googles and see what songs from those years you’d rather hear than anything Eminem put out from 1995–1999.
It is not until 1999 that we get the much heralded Slim Shady LP. This is after the “East Coast/West Coast” feud when everyone was going at whomever, whenever. Plenty of space and opportunity for Eminem to assert himself whether attacking someone or defending someone. I’m not saying that he might not have been able to hold his own. But the way people used to go at each other back then, they definitely would’ve been on his ass. You either had to rhyme and/or throw hands.
However, after the dust cleared, he comes out during the peace and prosperity of the “shiny suit era”. But you tell me what songs from Slim Shady LP resonate with the culture and have had the lasting appeal as: Dr. Dre’s Chronic 2001, Pharoahe Monch’s Simon Says, Missy Elliot’s Da Real World, and Jay Z’s Vol. 3? Better yet, this is the same year that B.G. put out “Bling, Bling” and Ja Rule’s “Holla Holla”. And the icing on the cake — Mobb Deep released “Quiet Storm”. Nuff said!
The year 2000 brought us The Marshall Mathers LP. Great album indeed. But ask yourself, what song has been in rotation in the last 20 years with the likes of: OutKast’s “So Fresh & So Clean”, Ghostface Killah’s “Cherchez La Ghost”, M.O.P.’s “Ante Up”, Prodigy’s “Keep It Thoro”, or even Three 6 Mafia’s “Sippin On Some Sizzurp”? And I just heard Ludacris’ “What’s Yo Fantasy” last week. And you can’t forget this is the year Nelly debuted. I’ll add Big Tymers’ “Everybody Get Your Roll On” to that list too.
2001 is when Jay Z released The Blueprint. Eminem’s verse on “Renegade” is one of those watershed moments along with Nas saying on “Ether” how JayZ got bodied by him that really began to crystalize public opinion, but it is the same record which the same is said of rapper Beanie Sigel. And that is just as debatable. Eminem released his group D12 in 2001 with Devil’s Night. It debuted #1 and went 2x platinum, the same year as Put Yo Hood Up by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz, but despite the disparity in sales, you tell me which album has the most songs that have rang off the most in the hood (no pun intended)? 2001 also brought us Pain Is Love from Ja Rule, Stillmatic from Nas, and Word of Mouf by Ludacris
The Eminem Show dropped in 2002. Another fine project. Was it as innovative as N.E.R. D’s In Search Of…? But are there any songs that had the staying power in the hip hop community like State Property’s “Roc The Mic” (which features Beanie Sigel), or “Say I Yi Yi” from Ying Yang Twins? And this was the same year as ’03 Bonnie & Clyde with Jay Z & Beyonce and Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz sparking the dawn of the crunk era with Kings of Crunk. Also, we can’t leave out Nelly’s Nellyville and Nas’ God’s Son. So not only did Eminem not have the definitive sound of the year but he also did not have either of the two songs which defined 2002. I submit to you: Clipse “Grindin’” and Missy Elliott “Work It”. But Eminem is the goat??
Now let’s juxtapose what we’ve learned so far with 50 Cent who put out the mixtapes Guess Who’s Back and 50 Cent Is The Future also in 2002. Keep in mind 50 Cent, born in 1975, was discovered by Jam Master Jay (rip) in 1996, had a deal with Columbia Records in 1999, and released his first mixtape Power Of The Dollar in 2000 with the song How To Rob. So in 2000, 50 Cent was already buzzing on the street way more than Eminem was before he came out.
And Eminem was two albums in. 2002 is when Eminem not discovered by rather “Columbused” 50 Cent after he lost his deal in 2001 due to infamously being shot nine times. Eminem re-introduces him on the mixtape drop No Mercy, No Fear and simultaneously 8 Mile soundtrack in 2002 with the song “Wanksta”. “Wanksta” produced more anticipation for his debut Get Rich Or Die Trying in 2003 than Eminem did leading up to his. But Eminem is supposed to be the goat? And he’s often ranked over 50 Cent.
Eminem is from Michigan. The hip hop scene from 1995–1999 was pretty localized unlike today where you can be whoever from wherever and find an audience on social media and SoundCloud. How is it that one of “the goats” managed to not have any buzz in the Midwest prior to his debut? Common and Twista were three albums in, and although they have had moderately successful careers, they haven’t reached any of the sales as Eminem. 1994 Common dropped the seminal classic “I Used To Love H.E.R.” And by his 3rd album he had features from Lauryn Hill, Black Thought, Cee-Lo, De La Soul, Q-Tip, and Eminem’s former arch-rival Canibus. And yet we are led to believe that nobody was checking for an eventual goat until 1999? People talk about his mythical rap battles. But who did he beat??
Eminem lost in 1997 at the Rap Olympics to a rapper named Otherwize and at the ’97 Scribble Jam to MC J.U.I.C.E. So not only are the only known records of his battle rap days are L’s but they are against virtual nobodies (no disrespect). You’ve heard stories about the back in the day with the Juice Crew/Boogie Down Productions ‘Bridge Wars’, Jay Z vs. Busta Rhymes in the cafeteria, etc. And we are supposed to believe that a goat like Eminem NEVER crossed paths with anyone notable until he really, really got on? Hip hop has often paralleled the NBA and when have you ever heard of a goat that nobody hooped with in the park, high school, or even seen on the block?
So aside from 50 Cent and eventually G-Unit in 2003, there were other people who dropped indelible hits: Freeway, Fabolous, T.I., Youngbloodz, DMX, JayZ, Ludacris, OutKast. But how is it that 50 Cent with the same Dr. Dre/Interscope engine can make better records than Eminem and his group G-Unit is vastly superior to Eminem’s D-12? So Eminem is a goat but has one of the WEAKEST crews in terms of skills and relevance to the culture: 50 Cent and G-Unit, Jay Z’s State Property/Roc-La-Familia, 2Pac’s Outlawz, Outkast’s Dungeon Family, Nas’ Bravehearts, Cam’ron’s The Diplomats, Master P.’s No Limit, Birdman’s Big Tymers/Hot Boys, Ludacris’ DTP, you can just go on and on. You’re a goat but ain’t produce not one hit record except for “Purple Pills” and that ain’t even a banger?! Not one person from Eminem’s crew has had a hit record either.
Yet when you look at all of the aforementioned, you can name one if not several from each who had respectable outings. Obie Trice wasn’t a superstar. Furthermore, when checking out Slaughterhouse, Royce da 5'9", Joe Budden, etc. were already doing their thing. And he was unable to take their careers to the next level despite his star power. Because as a implied from the beginning, his elevation is completely overstated. Rappers such as those in Slaughterhouse and Griselda gang are of a similar skill set and rhyme style but don’t get nearly the mainstream attention that Eminem has received. Then 2004 rolls in and Eminem releases Encore. Now aside from the solo debuts from Young Buck and Lloyd Banks from G-Unit, this was the same year that Kanye West released The College Dropout. Nuff said!
In 2004, Eminem released another D12 group project with D12 World. Another 2x platinum album, which peaked #1. It even had higher first-week sales than Kanye if that makes any sense. However, what songs from that album can you name have been more popular than The Diplomats’ Diplomatic Immunity 2 and Lil Jon and The East Side Boyz’ Crunk Juice?
2005 is Eminem’s greatest hits album Curtain Call. Explain to me how it is 7x platinum yet Kanye West’s Late Registration is only 3x platinum. By this time Eminem was only 4 albums in. Are we supposed to believe that from 1999–2005 he had 4 projects better than 4 JayZ projects during that time?
Kanye West and Lil Wayne pretty much OWNED hip hop until Eminem returned in 2009 with Relapse. That 5 year run was way more impactful than any Eminem stretch from music releases to production to fashion. Also during this time you have the introduction of rappers like The Game (another G-Unit soldier), Rick Ross, Jeezy, and Gucci Mane. T.I. was becoming a staple. Lupe Fiasco, another rapper, highly touted for his lyricism, was doing his thing. 2009 was also the year “Swag Surfin’” came out. Nuff said!
Eminem puts out Recovery in 2010. Same year as Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and Drake’s Thank Me Later. Both albums which have had way more staying power than Eminem. “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled came out that year too. 2010 also saw the rise of Waka Flocka Flame with “O Let’s Do It” and “Hard In The Paint”. Eminem has yet to create such anthems for the culture but is supposed to be a goat??
So in 2011, Eminem drops the album Hell: The Sequel with Royce Da 5'9" as the duo Bad Meets Evil. Now the single “Lighters” from that album along with “I Need A Doctor” a song he did with Dr. Dre and Skylar Grey, both peaked at #4 on Billboard. “I Need A Doctor” is Dr. Dre’s second highest peaking song on the chart ever. Now who do you know that if you asked them to name their top 5 favorite Dr. Dre songs and that song is on their list? When was the last time your heard Lighters? These songs peaked higher than But 2011 is the year Tyler The Creator and Big Sean dropped their debut studio albums. Section 80 by Kendrick Lamar also came out in 2011. But one duo was the pulse of 2011, JayZ and Kanye West with Watch The Throne.
2012 is the year Kendrick Lamar officially arrived with Good Kid, M.A.A.D City. There really isn’t anything more that needs to be said after that. But you also have Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded from Nicki Minaj and 2 Chainz debuting as a solo act. Eminem didn’t come back on the scene until 2013 with Marshall Mathers LP 2. It had higher first-week sales than Nothing Was The Same by Drake, Magna Carta Holy Grail by Jay Z, Yeezus from Kanye West, AND Born Sinner from J. Cole. How Sway?! It makes about as much sense as Macklemore winning Best Rap Album and Best New Artist and being nominated for Album of the Year in 2012 with The Heist. “Thrift Shop” was the equivalent of My Name Is… or The Real Slim Shady, a cool little bop but not hardly a hip hop classic in the least.
2013–2017 was Eminem’s longest hiatus not returning until the end of the year with Revival. And yet he was being nominated and oftentimes winning awards and accolades from the dominant society while his contemporaries were putting out quality product. Revival was the first album that you could argue was panned by critics although it still went gold and debuted at #1 on Billboard. DAMN from Kendrick Lamar and Jay Z’s 4:44 were the talk of 2017.
2018 brings us to Eminem’s Kamikaze. Another album which debuted #1 and went platinum. It had more first-week sales than Invasion Of Privacy by Cardi B., KOD from J. Cole, and Culture II from Migos, but who has had more of an impact on the culture? In 2018 were more people talking about Eminem or Pusha T with Daytona?
Eminem was like a rap Weird Al Yankovic when he came on the scene who used crazy videos and shocking antics to propel his career. After the initial press run of his projects, real hip hop heads drop off really quickly and move on to that real shit. Jimmy Iovine and Interscope Records knew that with his talent, the street cred and music production of Dr. Dre, a great package could be sold to the masses. That otherwise would just be another “spherical-lyrical-miracle rappity rap” rapper. Where are the Eminem fans who champion other backpack, lyricist lounge rappers in the same regard?
The film 8 Mile has been romanticized into people thinking it was an autobiography. However, it was presented as “based on a true story” or as to say fictionalized for dramatic effect. One of the main purposes for doing so is that it allows Hollywood to embellish events and have “creative license”. Consequently, then people put all kinds of extras on Eminem’s rap battle career like he’s Rocky Balboa.
Eminem is supposed to be goat but when you look at his career he never went up against anyone except for women and pop stars. People put all these extras on Eminem but who has he defeated to be warrant such fear?
No one has been afraid of anyone ever in the history of rap but all of a sudden Eminem is above reproach? Nelly wasn’t afraid to respond to KRS-One. Common and Ice Cube went at it and Common had no problem going at Drake either. But Eminem’s resume of targets are: NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Insane Clown Posse, Britney Spears, Moby, Christina Aguilera, and Michael Jackson. Jermaine Dupri isn’t a rapper. Benzino respected in the hood but not top-tier. Is he even top 5 out of Boston?
Are we giving him the crown because he went at Fred Durst of rap/rock group Limp Bizkit? Machine Gun Kelly is not a top-tier rapper either and he BARELY won. I would argue that he had the better bars but MGK had the better song, beat, and rollout. Even in the beef with Ja Rule, 50 Cent did most of the heavy lifting and dropped the finishing blow. Eminem stayed away from damn near all of 50 Cent’s beefs with real heavyweights like Lil Wayne and The Lox yet 50 is always putting on the cape for Eminem at slightest sign of trouble. Much respect to Lord Jamar but some would say that he Grand Puba was the best rapper in his group not him? However, on one of their top hits “Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down”, Grand Puba isn’t on it.
Name one D-12 hit without Eminem. Notwithstanding the fact that Brand Nubian and Dead Prez are much more highly regarded in the pantheon of hip hop than D-12 has ever been. Canibus was probably the only lyrical challenge but he proved to be a choke artist and already took a L from LL Cool J. People are taking his side during the Nick Cannon beef but the facts are this began with Eminem again going after a popstar in Mariah Carey. Nick is supposed to defend the honor of his (ex)wife and the mother of his children. And the criticism he’s received is that he’s getting help from the Wild N’ Out cast?! Well Bizarre jumped out the window with lackluster diss records for Joe Budden and MGK.
But even Uncle Luke from 2 Live Crew didn’t backdown from Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg with Cowards In Compton. Uncle Luke and Kid n’ Play even had beef at one point. 2Pac and De La Soul had issues back in the day as well. Eazy-E (who didn’t write his own rhymes), got help on “Real Muthaphuckkin G’s”. 2Pac had “Hit Em Up”, Ice Cube had “No Vaseline”, Jay Z’s “Takeover”, Nas’ “Ether”, how is it that Eminem hasn’t made a classic diss record? Not even a legendary diss verse or battle along the lines of Lil Flip vs. T.I. or T.I. and Ludacris?
Gucci Mane dissed Eminem on a song with Mariah Carey entitled “Obsessed” and he threw shade at him in a radio interview, but Eminem has never addressed it. The goat wouldn’t and shouldn’t be taking any disrespect from anyone especially your reputation is that you’re not the one to be messed with on the mic.
Prodigy (RIP) has battled more top-tier rappers and held his own than Eminem.
Eminem came at Tyler The Creator for criticizing his music. And while I would contend that Tyler isn’t a better MC than Em, is there any question that the style and innovation of Tyler and Odd Future has superseded that of Em of D-12?
Who did you know that wore Eminem’s brand, Shady Ltd./Shady Wear and what did they look like? And how does it stack up to other rapper clothing lines like Rocafella, G-Unit, Wu Wear, Apple Bottoms, State Property, or even Tyler’s Golf Wang?
How is it that Eminem is the goat but he’s the least sampled, least referenced goat? Not a beat, hook, or anything that’s been flipped or remixed? And he has the least amount of notable features. Now the “stans” will say it’s because they don’t want to be outshined but why hasn’t that stopped people from working with other greats?
So not only does Eminem have a classic diss record but he doesn’t have a classic street anthem, party record, song for the ladies, conscious rap, dance move, or any other prominent category. Of the goats, Eminem has the least noticeable impact in look, style, flow, voice, or slang. The people who have apparently patterned themselves after him are folks like G-Eazy, Hopsin, Joyner Lucas, Merkules, Yelawolf, NF, Tom Macdonald and Logic. And I rest my case. If Eminem were black he would be Hopsin at worst and Redman or Busta Rhymes at best (much respect to them). Let him and Royce da 5'9" switch places.
Eminem takes liberty to reiterate this on the song “Fall”, but aside from being from Detroit, how has Eminem inspired Big Sean and Royce? That’s like saying Jay Z, Mos Def, Big Daddy Kane, Sean Price and Fabolous gave us Tekashi69 because they’re all from Brooklyn. Em is the biggest rap artist from the entire state of Michigan. However, what Eminem song would you recommend someone hear to get that feel? Hip hop has always been very sonically regional in its essence. What Eminem song puts on for the city that makes you see and feel Detroit? There’s no Detroit references, slang, visuals, bridging of musical history (Motown, techno, etc.) Not even a “What Up Doe?!”. How did he avoid to not do any work with Slum Village or the legendary J. Dilla (RIP)??
There’s often been comparisons between Eminem and Elvis Presley. But I liken Em to martial arts star Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is one of the most successful martial arts stars ever but he is not a creator, innovator, nor master of any martial arts style. Yet he is quite larger than many of the originators. Like Norris, Eminem is quite proficient in various styles but he’s a master of none. And then created his own style (Chun Kuk Do), and put himself at the top. Eminem never shies away from crediting O.G.’s Kool G Rap, Naughty By Nature, Poor Righteous Teachers, etc.
However, I think Em has a bit of a white savior complex of asserting his authority and dictating what is/is not real hip hop leaving black folks as just receptacles. Then getting upset when we reject it. Moreover, like Norris and his “Norris facts” or the “sniper skills”, Eminem has been mythologized and mythicized as a “Rap God”. No, I don’t think Eminem is a culture vulture or guilty of cultural appropriation. I think he could be a better cultural steward. Good stewardship being defined as “the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care”. I would consider people like Stretch Armstrong, DJ Muggs, Alchemist, and Steve Rifkind such exemplary custodians of the culture.
Ask yourself what exactly are Eminem’s top 5 songs? When and how often have you listened to them after they initial release? After the media machine of Viacom took it out of rotation on MTV’s networks and shows like TRL and subsequently, BET. And when do you put them in rotation at the club, barbershop, with your lady, hanging with the fellas, etc.? Then compare those top 5 songs to the top 5 of his contemporaries. Name your top 5 Eminem songs and see if it was the #1 rap song that year in the hip hop community.
One of the main talking points regarding Eminem being “the goat” is in regards to his record sales. This is rather moot when you after you consider the consumption of the dominant society, record sales, have never been solely indicative of the measure in which hip hop determines greatness as an MC. If that were the case, then rappers like Nelly, MC Hammer, Flo-Rida, Chingy, and Lil Nas X, should be on people’s top 10 list.
Likewise, could be said of awards. Otherwise, who’s saying Young MC Coolio is top tier? DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) won the first rap Grammy in 1989 but I would hardly consider that to be the best album of ’89 nor are they top 10 in duos/groups of all-time. Institutions primarily in the dominant society choose who to praise, credentialize, and reward including the categories of merit. Notorious B.I.G., 2Pac, Snoop Dogg, Nas, and Busta Rhymes are just a few who have NEVER been nominated for a Grammy. Just focusing on rap/hip hop categories, let’s break this down even further:
In 1999, Eminem won the MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop over Beastie Boys, Busta Rhymes, Puff Daddy, and Will Smith. (See #5)I’m confused about the nominees as well as him winning. Interesting in 1999, Eminem also won an MTV Music Award for Best New Artist “My Name Is…” but he was not nominated in neither the Best Rap Video nor Best Hip Hop video categories. Now in 2000, Eminem began winning awards regarding his video starting with two Billboard awards. Again, the outlandish videos were one of the things that has kept him in the minds of the public. Blockbuster (yeah that Blockbuster Video) decided to create their own awards from 1995–2001 and gave Eminem the award for Favorite Rap Artist in 2001. Go figure?! In 2001, the MTV Europe Music Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. D12 was nominated as well along with Missy Elliott, OutKast, and P. Diddy. D12?! You have to be kidding me! So not only throw in a June 2001 release into the mix with projects from the previous year, but they want you to believe that this was the best hip hop of 2000–01. (See #7)Eve with Scorpion was a better album than D12.
A German association of record companies puts on a ceremony of their own called the Echo Awards. Check out the link and see how preposterous the nominations were. I’m not going to go through ever single one but it was pretty much a foregone conclusion they would give him the award every year. Notwithstanding the fact that in 2001, Eminem won over Nelly’s Country Grammar. Now of course, Eminem is a better MC but if you’re talking about which album had the most hit records in the hip hop community, I’m going to have to say Nelly. Are we really saying that in 2002, D12 Devil’s Night was a better album than Outkast Stankonia?! 2003 they gave it to The Eminem Show over Nellyville. Again check this discography and you tell me which has gotten more play over the years.
In 2005, the Echo Awards nominated D12 and Eminem AGAIN, for D12 World and Encore, respectively. And to add insult to injury, the Beastie Boys were nominated for To The 5 Boroughs. But not College Dropout?! The Echo Awards nominated Eminem for Curtain Call: The Hits in 2006 and 2007 (winning in 2007). So A F#KIN GREATEST HITS ALBUM that was released in 2005 was nominated TWICE and won Best Hip Hop over albums released the previous eligible year like T.I.’s King, Rick Ross’s Port Of Miami, and Lupe Fiasco’s Food & Liquor, but EVERYONE knows the best rap album of 2005 was Late Registration. Even Common’s Be was a smash! You’re awarding a greatest hits album over original content?! The only thing Eminem put out in 2006 was Eminem Presents: The Re-Up kanyeshrug After 2008, when Eminem stopped putting out records, they just disbanded the category altogether for the most part staying local except for 2011 when they awarded him AGAIN for Recovery.
That is until 2014 awarding him yet again for MMLP2 over JayZ’s MC-HG. They also nominated Macklemore for The Heist, which was released in 2012, but skipped over Kanye and Cole which came out the actual review year (see #18). And after 2014, the Echo Awards were just like fuck it and stuck to only local German acts. This is a blueprint tho of how whenveer Eminem puts outs an album, he wins. And when he doesn’t the industry is just like meh whatever when it comes to rap/hip hop. (The coupe times 5o Cent don’t count because he’s under the Shady umbrella).
So, staying in 2001, we get the Grammy Awards. Reflect and tell me what has stood the test of time:
Best Rap Album
The Marshall Mathers LP — Eminem
…And Then There Was X — DMX
— 2001 — Dr. Dre
Vol. 3… Life and Times of S. Carter — Jay-Z
Country Grammar — Nelly
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group
“Forgot About Dre” — Dr. Dre featuring Eminem
“Alive” — Beastie Boys “Oooh.”
— De La Soul featuring Redman
“The Next Episode” — Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg
“Big Pimpin’” — Jay-Z featuring UGK
Best Rap Solo Performance
“The Real Slim Shady” — Eminem
“The Light” — Common
“Party Up (Up in Here)” — DMX
“Shake Ya Ass” — Mystikal
“Country Grammar” — Nelly
In 2001 the Japan Radio Popular Disc Awards named Best Male Vocalist. So vocalist we’re talking rapping, singing, or any musicality with the mouth and Eminem’s who’s voice and cadence has been the subject of ridicule for many years, is the winner?! Now Eminem winning the Juno Award for Best Selling Album in 2001 and 2003 does make sense. Again, Eminem being able to sell records, being internationally popular, or being a great rapper has never been in dispute. My argument is against Eminem being the goat. This is why without question he’s won several World Music Awards for Worlds Best Selling Rap/Hip Hop Artist.
The Billboard Awards has an inconsistent history of including and excluding rap categories at their whim. In 2002, they decided to combine Rap and R&B Album Of The Year into one category:
The Eminem Show
Ashanti, Ashanti
Nellyville, Nelly
Word of Mouf, Ludacris
But what’s interesting is that year Eminem WAS NOT nominated for neither Rap Artist Of The Year nor R&B/Hip Hop Songs Artist Of The Year. Nelly was nominated for both and won the former. He also beat Eminem for Artist Of The Year and Male Artist Of The Year.
Similar to the ECHO Awards, the MOBO (Music Of Black Origin) Awards in the United Kingdom inconsistently gave an award for Best Hip Hop Act. Primarily awarded to British acts, Eminem won in 2000. But in 2010 he won Best International Artist and their hip hop was relegated to only within the U.K.
The MTV Europe Awards kept up the fuckery in 2003–04 awarding Eminem Best Hip Hop Act over 50 Cent, Missy, Jay Z, and Nelly. That’s cool I suppose. But explain in 2004 Best Hip-Hop Act. In a category that includes Kanye, Nelly, and JayZ, they nominate Beastie Boys and awarded D12. AGAIN we are talking BEASTIE BOYS BEING NOMINATED AND D12 WINNING BEST HIP HOP IN 2004. How Sway?!
The 2005–06 American Music Awards were another contrived example of people not from the culture credentializing who’s the best. Will Smith (The Fresh Prince) won Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist in a category with 50 Cent. Neither of whom would say they do neither pop nor rock music. However, 50 Cent was also nominated for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Male Artist along with Ludacris, both losing out to Eminem. I would contend that Eminem makes rap for more of a pop audience than 50. Eminem also won for Favorite Rap Album for Encore over 50 Cent’s The Massacre and T.I.’s Urban Legend.
What’s interesting is that they skipped over the 2004 release of College Dropout for the 2005 outing of 50 Cent. In 2006 for Favorite Rap Album the nominees were: The Black Eyed Peas, T.I. for King, and Eminem for Curtain Call. The Black Eyed Peas won rap album in 2005 (including favorite pop album) and 2006. They also won Favorite Rap Group over Dem Franchize Boyz and Three 6 Mafia. Name one Black Eyed Peas song that has impacted the culture like Lean Wit’ It? Not only NOBODY from the culture checking for The Black Eyed Peas like that but they nominated a damn greatest hits album over original work just like the Echo Awards did. Eminem also won Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist over Kanye and T.I.
2005 also saw Eminem win Teen Choice Awards for Best Rap Artist and Best Rap Song for Mockingbird. What 15 year olds in 2005 were bumpin this that you know?!
2008 VIBE Magazine again helped crystalize public opinion by creating an online bracket-style tournament naming him the Best Rapper Alive. This is how you manufacture public consent
2010 won an American Music Award for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist and Album over B.o.B. and Drake. Neither Kanye nor Nicki Minaj were nominated. At the Grammy Awards, explain this.
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group:
“Crack A Bottle” — Eminem,
Dr. Dre & 50 Cent “Too Many Rappers”
— Beastie Boys & Nas “Money Goes,
Honey Stay” — Fabolous & Jay-Z
“Make Her Say” — Kid Cudi, Kanye West & Common
“Amazing” — Kanye West & Young Jeezy
When was the last time you heard or even would want to listen to Crack A Bottle over Make Her Say or Amazing?! Then look at Best Rap Album:
Relapse — Eminem
Universal Mind Control — Common
R.O.O.T.S. — Flo Rida
The Ecstatic — Mos Def
The Renaissance — Q-Tip
First off, Flo-Rida is hot garbage! Second, Q-Tip and Common’s albums were released in 2008. So, if you’re reaching back to ’08, then you have to include Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak, T.I.’s Paper Trail, and Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III. I’d put Shawty Lo’s Units In The City and Soulja Boy’s iSouljaBoyTellEm up there. Dey Know and Turn My Swag On had a bigger impact on the culture than anything off of Relaps. And ’09 you’re neglected Jay Z’s The Blueprint 3.
2010 also saw Eminem win a MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop Act over Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, T.I., and Kanye West. And at the Teen Choice Awards, Eminem won Best Rap Artist, Rap Album, and Rap Song for “Love The Way You Lie”. I don’t know what teenagers they were polling but I can take a guess. The Soul Train Awards wanted you to believe that “Love The Way You Lie” was the Best Rap Song of 2010 as well. And at the People’s Choice Awards, Eminem won Favorite Hip Hop Artist over Flo Rida, JayZ, Lil Wayne, and T.I. But again, as we reflect back, tell me who and what sound was running hip hop 2008–2010.
So, the 2011 Billboard Awards roll around and Eminem wins Top Rap Artist over Drake, Lil Wayne, Ludacris, and Nicki Minaj. Hmm, I guess. Then he gets Top Rap Album for Recovery over:
Thank Me Later — Drake
Pink Friday — Nicki Minaj
I Am Not a Human Being — Lil Wayne
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy — Kanye West
Help me make sense of it!
Then again at the MTV Europe Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. And once more they conflated 2010 releases with 2011. So the nominees included Snoop Dogg and Pitbull who dropped in 2010 and Lil Wayne and Jay Z/Kanye West from 2011. This is Jay Z/Kanye West as Watch The Throne. But we’re to believe that Eminem’s Recovery was running the rap world more than Watch The Throne.
And at the 2011 People’s Choice Awards, Eminem was given the award over Drake, Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Ludacris. Eminem beat Drake who put out Thank Me Later and Take Care, back-to-back?! Same year at the Teen Choice Awards, he beat out Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull. 2012 People’s Choice gave it to him again over B.o.B., Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull.
MTV Europe Awards back with the bullshit in 2013 giving Eminem the Best Hip Hop Award over Jay-Z, Drake, Kanye West, and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Even though Macklemore is wack AF, still gotta concede that “Thrift Shop” was a bigger record than Eminem’s 2012–13 output.
2014 at the American Music Awards, Eminem was nominated with Drake but didn’t win. Iggy Azalea incomprehensibly won! 2014 Billboard Awards was a complete sham. Eminem won Top Rap Artist and Top Rap Album over Drake, Pitbull, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and Jay-Z. The nominees for Top Rap Song was even more outrageous. “Can’t Hold Us” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton beat out:
“The Monster” — Eminem ft. Rihanna
“Holy Grail” — Jay-Z ft. Justin Timberlake
“Thrift Shop” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz
“Timber” — Pitbull ft. Kesha
“Started From The Bottom” by Drake didn’t even make the cut.
At the 2015 Grammy’s, Eminem won Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for “The Monster” over ILoveMakonnen’s “Tuesday”. Doesn’t make sense. And although it wasn’t nominated, this is the same year as Chris Brown “Loyal”. And Best Rap Album was in complete shambles from the artists chosen to the consistency of the releases:
The Marshall Mathers LP 2 — Eminem
The New Classic — Iggy Azalea
Because the Internet — Childish Gambino
Nobody’s Smiling — Common
Oxymoron — ScHoolboy Q
Blacc Hollywood — Wiz Khalifa
2017 MTV Europe Awards awarded Eminem yet again for Best Hip Hop in the same category as Drake, Future, Kendrick Lamar, and Post Malone. I could even see Post Malone winning but Eminem?! And this is following the same year as “Hotline Bling” from Drake. Eminem but no J. Cole 4 Your Eyez Only?! Eminem but no Kanye The Life Of Pablo. Eminem but no Travis Scott Birds In The Trap Sing Midnight?! EMINEM but no Chance The Rapper Coloring Book. Make it make sense!
Those are all 2016 releases. Eminem didn’t drop until 2017 with Revival. So then you’re talking Kendrick’s DAMN, Drake’s More Life, Rapsody’s Laila’s Wisdom, Jay-Z’s 4:44, and Vince Staple’s Big Fish Theory among others. MTV Europe Awards even had the audacity to nominate him again in 2018 this time along with Travis Scott, Drake, and the Migos. Fortunately, his lost out to Nicki Minaj.
These award shows create the machinations of validity the lens of the mainstream society. Even when rappers like 2Pac, Snoop, Jay Z, Missy Elliott, DMX, etc. crossover, the favorite songs of the mainstream vary quite differently than the favorites of those from within the culture.
And now in 2021, we are already dealt with the propaganda from Eminem’s latest outing Music To Be Murdered By Side A and Side B. He’s already been certified gold and outsold artists like Roddy Ricch and DaBaby who dropped end of 2019. And like his previous projects, it debuted #1 on Billboard, but has an immediate drop off in terms of word of mouth after the first week, and it has ZERO hit songs that resonate in the streets. Once again proving that record sales don’t always equate to moving the culture.
On the Royce Da 5'9" skit “Perspective”, Eminem says: “But you got people of all races Like, coming together and, and Helping shape this from the ground up So now you got little white kids growin’ up with black idols and you got black kids growin’ up with white idols” — Historically, too many black people have been conditioned to attach their esteem and value to white acceptance, acknowledgment, and approval. That’s why black cultural institutions directly or subconsciously look for white legitimacy. White people do a buy low, sell high stock market game with black culture. When black people do it whether it’s rap, dancing, physical features, slang, etc., it is something to be despised, derided, devalued, maligned, and ridiculed. Labels such as ghetto, ratchet, urban, or just summarized as black stuff. But then when whites adopt it, then it garners a sense of validity and becomes “American culture”. But they were shooting with you in the gym. And then if you insist on still calling it black, they’ll say you’re the one being divisive or practicing “reverse racism”. This is conquest by consent. Black people are the creators while other races didn’t get into hip hop until it became something to colonize, monetize, and commercialize.
White execs who have positioned themselves as owners and authorities. White idols have fans. But black idols have customers. Social dynamics have shown a white fan can wield power over celebrities but a black fan cannot. What is the equivalent of “white chocolate” in their stuff? What is the reciprocal of them being “invited to the cookout”? There is no cultural reciprocity. Black excellence can only hope to get to what comes easily to white mediocrity. So white excellence is out of the stratosphere. That’s why the “black idols” they do have are primarily in sports and entertainment because they are essentially providing a service.
And outside of that you’d be hard pressed to get them to name anyone noteworhy let alone idolize. The dominant society has never loved black people but rather what can be siphoned from black people to consume and discard. We are the original American commodity and anything we produce is thought of as a byproduct for everyone else’s gain under the auspices of things like divine providence, manifest destiny, and dominion. “ Nothing has brought more races and more people From all different walks of life together than hip-hop No music has done that I don’t think anything has done that as much as hip-hop has….” — Brought together in what sense when black people are still a global bottom caste? That people still steal and engage in Columbusing and cultural appropriation?
What does it profit black people to create, when others receive the Lionshare of the accolades and profits? There’s a system which enabled Elvis to co-opt and supplant Chuck Berry and Rosetta Tharpe. There’s a system which put out the images on television. Moreover, who determined and changed the trajectory of hip hop from its Afrocentric roots to violence, materialism, sex, and drugs?
The historical lack of black toys, superheroes, and action figures was by design. So, the question is as Eminem ends the “Perspective” skit, how has he made a difference? In conclusion, I have to reiterate that none of this is to say that Eminem isn’t a great MC and an amazing lyricist. Again, I’m just saying he is not The GOAT.
Source: https://medium.com/@russelllawrencebenford/why-eminem-is-still-not-the-greatest-rapper-of-all-time-6bd14eead52d

Eminem was born in 1972. Rakim-1968, LL Cool J-1968, Jay Z- 1969, Ice Cube-1969, 2Pac- 1971, Big Pun-1971, Snoop Dogg-1971, Nas-1973, and five months after Notorious B.I.G. So these are his contemporaries but he had the luxury of being able to study rather than compete. Now folktales will lead you to believe that he was just being slept on because he was white. But when you look at Beastie Boys, Vanilla Ice, 3rd Bass, etc. such disparities are not present. And that is quite irregular for someone who we are led to believe to be the greatest of all time. That would be like Magic Johnson being drafted to the NBA in 1979 and Larry Bird not being drafted until 1986 even though they competed against each other in college. How is it that no one from his age group was aware of him when during that era, one of the quickest, easiest and best ways to get on is attack folks directly?
Now I’m not hating on Eminem because he’s white either. There’s a lot of white artists whom I enjoy to varying degrees: Paul Wall, Mac Miller, Your Old Droog, Derek Pope, Machine Gun Kelly, Evidence, El-P of Run The Jewels, etc. What I am saying is that the aesthetic which his lyricism was packaged in is what has had folks putting all kinds of extras on him. Reminds me of when folks where caping for Jeremy Lin “Linsanity”. Like yeah, he was doing his thing, but it was WHO was doing it that had folks putting extras on it.
Stuff like his BET Cypher Donald Trump freestyle was cool as well as his song “White America”, but as the number one rapper in the world who happens to be white? This is what I consider low hanging fruit of liberals who try to simplify and reduce racism as isolated boogeymen that once exorcised, everything will be all good. But when has Eminem used his music and his platform to really speak to systemic racism white supremacy on a micro and macro level and be a champion of black empowerment while profiting off black culture? February 2003 The Source Magazine published “The Unbearable Whiteness of Emceeing: What the Eminence of Eminem Says About Race” which I found to be very insightful.
Eminem’s first project was in 1995 as a duo with Proof (rip). Same year as Only Built For Cuban Linx by Raekwon, The Infamous by Mobb Deep, Me Against The World by 2Pac, Soul Food by Goodie Mob, among others. Some of the most highly regarded albums and MCs ever and yet no one was checking for “the goat” Eminem?
Now in 1996 that is when Eminem put out his official solo project with Infinite. Same year as All Eyez On Me and Makaveli from 2Pac, Reasonable Doubt by Jay Z, It Was Written from Nas, The Score by Fugees, ATLiens from OutKast, etc. Who was checking for Eminem??
We’re going to just skip all the fire that came out 1997–98 such as DMX, Redman, Big Pun, Juvenile, Method Man. But do your Googles and see what songs from those years you’d rather hear than anything Eminem put out from 1995–1999.
It is not until 1999 that we get the much heralded Slim Shady LP. This is after the “East Coast/West Coast” feud when everyone was going at whomever, whenever. Plenty of space and opportunity for Eminem to assert himself whether attacking someone or defending someone. I’m not saying that he might not have been able to hold his own. But the way people used to go at each other back then, they definitely would’ve been on his ass. You either had to rhyme and/or throw hands.
However, after the dust cleared, he comes out during the peace and prosperity of the “shiny suit era”. But you tell me what songs from Slim Shady LP resonate with the culture and have had the lasting appeal as: Dr. Dre’s Chronic 2001, Pharoahe Monch’s Simon Says, Missy Elliot’s Da Real World, and Jay Z’s Vol. 3? Better yet, this is the same year that B.G. put out “Bling, Bling” and Ja Rule’s “Holla Holla”. And the icing on the cake — Mobb Deep released “Quiet Storm”. Nuff said!
The year 2000 brought us The Marshall Mathers LP. Great album indeed. But ask yourself, what song has been in rotation in the last 20 years with the likes of: OutKast’s “So Fresh & So Clean”, Ghostface Killah’s “Cherchez La Ghost”, M.O.P.’s “Ante Up”, Prodigy’s “Keep It Thoro”, or even Three 6 Mafia’s “Sippin On Some Sizzurp”? And I just heard Ludacris’ “What’s Yo Fantasy” last week. And you can’t forget this is the year Nelly debuted. I’ll add Big Tymers’ “Everybody Get Your Roll On” to that list too.
2001 is when Jay Z released The Blueprint. Eminem’s verse on “Renegade” is one of those watershed moments along with Nas saying on “Ether” how JayZ got bodied by him that really began to crystalize public opinion, but it is the same record which the same is said of rapper Beanie Sigel. And that is just as debatable. Eminem released his group D12 in 2001 with Devil’s Night. It debuted #1 and went 2x platinum, the same year as Put Yo Hood Up by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz, but despite the disparity in sales, you tell me which album has the most songs that have rang off the most in the hood (no pun intended)? 2001 also brought us Pain Is Love from Ja Rule, Stillmatic from Nas, and Word of Mouf by Ludacris
The Eminem Show dropped in 2002. Another fine project. Was it as innovative as N.E.R. D’s In Search Of…? But are there any songs that had the staying power in the hip hop community like State Property’s “Roc The Mic” (which features Beanie Sigel), or “Say I Yi Yi” from Ying Yang Twins? And this was the same year as ’03 Bonnie & Clyde with Jay Z & Beyonce and Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz sparking the dawn of the crunk era with Kings of Crunk. Also, we can’t leave out Nelly’s Nellyville and Nas’ God’s Son. So not only did Eminem not have the definitive sound of the year but he also did not have either of the two songs which defined 2002. I submit to you: Clipse “Grindin’” and Missy Elliott “Work It”. But Eminem is the goat??
Now let’s juxtapose what we’ve learned so far with 50 Cent who put out the mixtapes Guess Who’s Back and 50 Cent Is The Future also in 2002. Keep in mind 50 Cent, born in 1975, was discovered by Jam Master Jay (rip) in 1996, had a deal with Columbia Records in 1999, and released his first mixtape Power Of The Dollar in 2000 with the song How To Rob. So in 2000, 50 Cent was already buzzing on the street way more than Eminem was before he came out.
And Eminem was two albums in. 2002 is when Eminem not discovered by rather “Columbused” 50 Cent after he lost his deal in 2001 due to infamously being shot nine times. Eminem re-introduces him on the mixtape drop No Mercy, No Fear and simultaneously 8 Mile soundtrack in 2002 with the song “Wanksta”. “Wanksta” produced more anticipation for his debut Get Rich Or Die Trying in 2003 than Eminem did leading up to his. But Eminem is supposed to be the goat? And he’s often ranked over 50 Cent.
Eminem is from Michigan. The hip hop scene from 1995–1999 was pretty localized unlike today where you can be whoever from wherever and find an audience on social media and SoundCloud. How is it that one of “the goats” managed to not have any buzz in the Midwest prior to his debut? Common and Twista were three albums in, and although they have had moderately successful careers, they haven’t reached any of the sales as Eminem. 1994 Common dropped the seminal classic “I Used To Love H.E.R.” And by his 3rd album he had features from Lauryn Hill, Black Thought, Cee-Lo, De La Soul, Q-Tip, and Eminem’s former arch-rival Canibus. And yet we are led to believe that nobody was checking for an eventual goat until 1999? People talk about his mythical rap battles. But who did he beat??
Eminem lost in 1997 at the Rap Olympics to a rapper named Otherwize and at the ’97 Scribble Jam to MC J.U.I.C.E. So not only are the only known records of his battle rap days are L’s but they are against virtual nobodies (no disrespect). You’ve heard stories about the back in the day with the Juice Crew/Boogie Down Productions ‘Bridge Wars’, Jay Z vs. Busta Rhymes in the cafeteria, etc. And we are supposed to believe that a goat like Eminem NEVER crossed paths with anyone notable until he really, really got on? Hip hop has often paralleled the NBA and when have you ever heard of a goat that nobody hooped with in the park, high school, or even seen on the block?
So aside from 50 Cent and eventually G-Unit in 2003, there were other people who dropped indelible hits: Freeway, Fabolous, T.I., Youngbloodz, DMX, JayZ, Ludacris, OutKast. But how is it that 50 Cent with the same Dr. Dre/Interscope engine can make better records than Eminem and his group G-Unit is vastly superior to Eminem’s D-12? So Eminem is a goat but has one of the WEAKEST crews in terms of skills and relevance to the culture: 50 Cent and G-Unit, Jay Z’s State Property/Roc-La-Familia, 2Pac’s Outlawz, Outkast’s Dungeon Family, Nas’ Bravehearts, Cam’ron’s The Diplomats, Master P.’s No Limit, Birdman’s Big Tymers/Hot Boys, Ludacris’ DTP, you can just go on and on. You’re a goat but ain’t produce not one hit record except for “Purple Pills” and that ain’t even a banger?! Not one person from Eminem’s crew has had a hit record either.
Yet when you look at all of the aforementioned, you can name one if not several from each who had respectable outings. Obie Trice wasn’t a superstar. Furthermore, when checking out Slaughterhouse, Royce da 5'9", Joe Budden, etc. were already doing their thing. And he was unable to take their careers to the next level despite his star power. Because as a implied from the beginning, his elevation is completely overstated. Rappers such as those in Slaughterhouse and Griselda gang are of a similar skill set and rhyme style but don’t get nearly the mainstream attention that Eminem has received. Then 2004 rolls in and Eminem releases Encore. Now aside from the solo debuts from Young Buck and Lloyd Banks from G-Unit, this was the same year that Kanye West released The College Dropout. Nuff said!
In 2004, Eminem released another D12 group project with D12 World. Another 2x platinum album, which peaked #1. It even had higher first-week sales than Kanye if that makes any sense. However, what songs from that album can you name have been more popular than The Diplomats’ Diplomatic Immunity 2 and Lil Jon and The East Side Boyz’ Crunk Juice?
2005 is Eminem’s greatest hits album Curtain Call. Explain to me how it is 7x platinum yet Kanye West’s Late Registration is only 3x platinum. By this time Eminem was only 4 albums in. Are we supposed to believe that from 1999–2005 he had 4 projects better than 4 JayZ projects during that time?
Kanye West and Lil Wayne pretty much OWNED hip hop until Eminem returned in 2009 with Relapse. That 5 year run was way more impactful than any Eminem stretch from music releases to production to fashion. Also during this time you have the introduction of rappers like The Game (another G-Unit soldier), Rick Ross, Jeezy, and Gucci Mane. T.I. was becoming a staple. Lupe Fiasco, another rapper, highly touted for his lyricism, was doing his thing. 2009 was also the year “Swag Surfin’” came out. Nuff said!
Eminem puts out Recovery in 2010. Same year as Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and Drake’s Thank Me Later. Both albums which have had way more staying power than Eminem. “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled came out that year too. 2010 also saw the rise of Waka Flocka Flame with “O Let’s Do It” and “Hard In The Paint”. Eminem has yet to create such anthems for the culture but is supposed to be a goat??
So in 2011, Eminem drops the album Hell: The Sequel with Royce Da 5'9" as the duo Bad Meets Evil. Now the single “Lighters” from that album along with “I Need A Doctor” a song he did with Dr. Dre and Skylar Grey, both peaked at #4 on Billboard. “I Need A Doctor” is Dr. Dre’s second highest peaking song on the chart ever. Now who do you know that if you asked them to name their top 5 favorite Dr. Dre songs and that song is on their list? When was the last time your heard Lighters? These songs peaked higher than But 2011 is the year Tyler The Creator and Big Sean dropped their debut studio albums. Section 80 by Kendrick Lamar also came out in 2011. But one duo was the pulse of 2011, JayZ and Kanye West with Watch The Throne.
2012 is the year Kendrick Lamar officially arrived with Good Kid, M.A.A.D City. There really isn’t anything more that needs to be said after that. But you also have Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded from Nicki Minaj and 2 Chainz debuting as a solo act. Eminem didn’t come back on the scene until 2013 with Marshall Mathers LP 2. It had higher first-week sales than Nothing Was The Same by Drake, Magna Carta Holy Grail by Jay Z, Yeezus from Kanye West, AND Born Sinner from J. Cole. How Sway?! It makes about as much sense as Macklemore winning Best Rap Album and Best New Artist and being nominated for Album of the Year in 2012 with The Heist. “Thrift Shop” was the equivalent of My Name Is… or The Real Slim Shady, a cool little bop but not hardly a hip hop classic in the least.
2013–2017 was Eminem’s longest hiatus not returning until the end of the year with Revival. And yet he was being nominated and oftentimes winning awards and accolades from the dominant society while his contemporaries were putting out quality product. Revival was the first album that you could argue was panned by critics although it still went gold and debuted at #1 on Billboard. DAMN from Kendrick Lamar and Jay Z’s 4:44 were the talk of 2017.
2018 brings us to Eminem’s Kamikaze. Another album which debuted #1 and went platinum. It had more first-week sales than Invasion Of Privacy by Cardi B., KOD from J. Cole, and Culture II from Migos, but who has had more of an impact on the culture? In 2018 were more people talking about Eminem or Pusha T with Daytona?
Eminem was like a rap Weird Al Yankovic when he came on the scene who used crazy videos and shocking antics to propel his career. After the initial press run of his projects, real hip hop heads drop off really quickly and move on to that real shit. Jimmy Iovine and Interscope Records knew that with his talent, the street cred and music production of Dr. Dre, a great package could be sold to the masses. That otherwise would just be another “spherical-lyrical-miracle rappity rap” rapper. Where are the Eminem fans who champion other backpack, lyricist lounge rappers in the same regard?
The film 8 Mile has been romanticized into people thinking it was an autobiography. However, it was presented as “based on a true story” or as to say fictionalized for dramatic effect. One of the main purposes for doing so is that it allows Hollywood to embellish events and have “creative license”. Consequently, then people put all kinds of extras on Eminem’s rap battle career like he’s Rocky Balboa.
Eminem is supposed to be goat but when you look at his career he never went up against anyone except for women and pop stars. People put all these extras on Eminem but who has he defeated to be warrant such fear?
No one has been afraid of anyone ever in the history of rap but all of a sudden Eminem is above reproach? Nelly wasn’t afraid to respond to KRS-One. Common and Ice Cube went at it and Common had no problem going at Drake either. But Eminem’s resume of targets are: NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Insane Clown Posse, Britney Spears, Moby, Christina Aguilera, and Michael Jackson. Jermaine Dupri isn’t a rapper. Benzino respected in the hood but not top-tier. Is he even top 5 out of Boston?
Are we giving him the crown because he went at Fred Durst of rap/rock group Limp Bizkit? Machine Gun Kelly is not a top-tier rapper either and he BARELY won. I would argue that he had the better bars but MGK had the better song, beat, and rollout. Even in the beef with Ja Rule, 50 Cent did most of the heavy lifting and dropped the finishing blow. Eminem stayed away from damn near all of 50 Cent’s beefs with real heavyweights like Lil Wayne and The Lox yet 50 is always putting on the cape for Eminem at slightest sign of trouble. Much respect to Lord Jamar but some would say that he Grand Puba was the best rapper in his group not him? However, on one of their top hits “Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down”, Grand Puba isn’t on it.
Name one D-12 hit without Eminem. Notwithstanding the fact that Brand Nubian and Dead Prez are much more highly regarded in the pantheon of hip hop than D-12 has ever been. Canibus was probably the only lyrical challenge but he proved to be a choke artist and already took a L from LL Cool J. People are taking his side during the Nick Cannon beef but the facts are this began with Eminem again going after a popstar in Mariah Carey. Nick is supposed to defend the honor of his (ex)wife and the mother of his children. And the criticism he’s received is that he’s getting help from the Wild N’ Out cast?! Well Bizarre jumped out the window with lackluster diss records for Joe Budden and MGK.
But even Uncle Luke from 2 Live Crew didn’t backdown from Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg with Cowards In Compton. Uncle Luke and Kid n’ Play even had beef at one point. 2Pac and De La Soul had issues back in the day as well. Eazy-E (who didn’t write his own rhymes), got help on “Real Muthaphuckkin G’s”. 2Pac had “Hit Em Up”, Ice Cube had “No Vaseline”, Jay Z’s “Takeover”, Nas’ “Ether”, how is it that Eminem hasn’t made a classic diss record? Not even a legendary diss verse or battle along the lines of Lil Flip vs. T.I. or T.I. and Ludacris?
Gucci Mane dissed Eminem on a song with Mariah Carey entitled “Obsessed” and he threw shade at him in a radio interview, but Eminem has never addressed it. The goat wouldn’t and shouldn’t be taking any disrespect from anyone especially your reputation is that you’re not the one to be messed with on the mic.
Prodigy (RIP) has battled more top-tier rappers and held his own than Eminem.
Eminem came at Tyler The Creator for criticizing his music. And while I would contend that Tyler isn’t a better MC than Em, is there any question that the style and innovation of Tyler and Odd Future has superseded that of Em of D-12?
Who did you know that wore Eminem’s brand, Shady Ltd./Shady Wear and what did they look like? And how does it stack up to other rapper clothing lines like Rocafella, G-Unit, Wu Wear, Apple Bottoms, State Property, or even Tyler’s Golf Wang?
How is it that Eminem is the goat but he’s the least sampled, least referenced goat? Not a beat, hook, or anything that’s been flipped or remixed? And he has the least amount of notable features. Now the “stans” will say it’s because they don’t want to be outshined but why hasn’t that stopped people from working with other greats?
So not only does Eminem have a classic diss record but he doesn’t have a classic street anthem, party record, song for the ladies, conscious rap, dance move, or any other prominent category. Of the goats, Eminem has the least noticeable impact in look, style, flow, voice, or slang. The people who have apparently patterned themselves after him are folks like G-Eazy, Hopsin, Joyner Lucas, Merkules, Yelawolf, NF, Tom Macdonald and Logic. And I rest my case. If Eminem were black he would be Hopsin at worst and Redman or Busta Rhymes at best (much respect to them). Let him and Royce da 5'9" switch places.
Eminem takes liberty to reiterate this on the song “Fall”, but aside from being from Detroit, how has Eminem inspired Big Sean and Royce? That’s like saying Jay Z, Mos Def, Big Daddy Kane, Sean Price and Fabolous gave us Tekashi69 because they’re all from Brooklyn. Em is the biggest rap artist from the entire state of Michigan. However, what Eminem song would you recommend someone hear to get that feel? Hip hop has always been very sonically regional in its essence. What Eminem song puts on for the city that makes you see and feel Detroit? There’s no Detroit references, slang, visuals, bridging of musical history (Motown, techno, etc.) Not even a “What Up Doe?!”. How did he avoid to not do any work with Slum Village or the legendary J. Dilla (RIP)??
There’s often been comparisons between Eminem and Elvis Presley. But I liken Em to martial arts star Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is one of the most successful martial arts stars ever but he is not a creator, innovator, nor master of any martial arts style. Yet he is quite larger than many of the originators. Like Norris, Eminem is quite proficient in various styles but he’s a master of none. And then created his own style (Chun Kuk Do), and put himself at the top. Eminem never shies away from crediting O.G.’s Kool G Rap, Naughty By Nature, Poor Righteous Teachers, etc.
However, I think Em has a bit of a white savior complex of asserting his authority and dictating what is/is not real hip hop leaving black folks as just receptacles. Then getting upset when we reject it. Moreover, like Norris and his “Norris facts” or the “sniper skills”, Eminem has been mythologized and mythicized as a “Rap God”. No, I don’t think Eminem is a culture vulture or guilty of cultural appropriation. I think he could be a better cultural steward. Good stewardship being defined as “the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care”. I would consider people like Stretch Armstrong, DJ Muggs, Alchemist, and Steve Rifkind such exemplary custodians of the culture.
Ask yourself what exactly are Eminem’s top 5 songs? When and how often have you listened to them after they initial release? After the media machine of Viacom took it out of rotation on MTV’s networks and shows like TRL and subsequently, BET. And when do you put them in rotation at the club, barbershop, with your lady, hanging with the fellas, etc.? Then compare those top 5 songs to the top 5 of his contemporaries. Name your top 5 Eminem songs and see if it was the #1 rap song that year in the hip hop community.
One of the main talking points regarding Eminem being “the goat” is in regards to his record sales. This is rather moot when you after you consider the consumption of the dominant society, record sales, have never been solely indicative of the measure in which hip hop determines greatness as an MC. If that were the case, then rappers like Nelly, MC Hammer, Flo-Rida, Chingy, and Lil Nas X, should be on people’s top 10 list.
Likewise, could be said of awards. Otherwise, who’s saying Young MC Coolio is top tier? DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) won the first rap Grammy in 1989 but I would hardly consider that to be the best album of ’89 nor are they top 10 in duos/groups of all-time. Institutions primarily in the dominant society choose who to praise, credentialize, and reward including the categories of merit. Notorious B.I.G., 2Pac, Snoop Dogg, Nas, and Busta Rhymes are just a few who have NEVER been nominated for a Grammy. Just focusing on rap/hip hop categories, let’s break this down even further:
In 1999, Eminem won the MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop over Beastie Boys, Busta Rhymes, Puff Daddy, and Will Smith. (See #5)I’m confused about the nominees as well as him winning. Interesting in 1999, Eminem also won an MTV Music Award for Best New Artist “My Name Is…” but he was not nominated in neither the Best Rap Video nor Best Hip Hop video categories. Now in 2000, Eminem began winning awards regarding his video starting with two Billboard awards. Again, the outlandish videos were one of the things that has kept him in the minds of the public. Blockbuster (yeah that Blockbuster Video) decided to create their own awards from 1995–2001 and gave Eminem the award for Favorite Rap Artist in 2001. Go figure?! In 2001, the MTV Europe Music Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. D12 was nominated as well along with Missy Elliott, OutKast, and P. Diddy. D12?! You have to be kidding me! So not only throw in a June 2001 release into the mix with projects from the previous year, but they want you to believe that this was the best hip hop of 2000–01. (See #7)Eve with Scorpion was a better album than D12.
A German association of record companies puts on a ceremony of their own called the Echo Awards. Check out the link and see how preposterous the nominations were. I’m not going to go through ever single one but it was pretty much a foregone conclusion they would give him the award every year. Notwithstanding the fact that in 2001, Eminem won over Nelly’s Country Grammar. Now of course, Eminem is a better MC but if you’re talking about which album had the most hit records in the hip hop community, I’m going to have to say Nelly. Are we really saying that in 2002, D12 Devil’s Night was a better album than Outkast Stankonia?! 2003 they gave it to The Eminem Show over Nellyville. Again check this discography and you tell me which has gotten more play over the years.
In 2005, the Echo Awards nominated D12 and Eminem AGAIN, for D12 World and Encore, respectively. And to add insult to injury, the Beastie Boys were nominated for To The 5 Boroughs. But not College Dropout?! The Echo Awards nominated Eminem for Curtain Call: The Hits in 2006 and 2007 (winning in 2007). So A F#KIN GREATEST HITS ALBUM that was released in 2005 was nominated TWICE and won Best Hip Hop over albums released the previous eligible year like T.I.’s King, Rick Ross’s Port Of Miami, and Lupe Fiasco’s Food & Liquor, but EVERYONE knows the best rap album of 2005 was Late Registration. Even Common’s Be was a smash! You’re awarding a greatest hits album over original content?! The only thing Eminem put out in 2006 was Eminem Presents: The Re-Up kanyeshrug After 2008, when Eminem stopped putting out records, they just disbanded the category altogether for the most part staying local except for 2011 when they awarded him AGAIN for Recovery.
That is until 2014 awarding him yet again for MMLP2 over JayZ’s MC-HG. They also nominated Macklemore for The Heist, which was released in 2012, but skipped over Kanye and Cole which came out the actual review year (see #18). And after 2014, the Echo Awards were just like fuck it and stuck to only local German acts. This is a blueprint tho of how whenveer Eminem puts outs an album, he wins. And when he doesn’t the industry is just like meh whatever when it comes to rap/hip hop. (The coupe times 5o Cent don’t count because he’s under the Shady umbrella).
So, staying in 2001, we get the Grammy Awards. Reflect and tell me what has stood the test of time:
Best Rap Album
The Marshall Mathers LP — Eminem
…And Then There Was X — DMX
— 2001 — Dr. Dre
Vol. 3… Life and Times of S. Carter — Jay-Z
Country Grammar — Nelly
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group
“Forgot About Dre” — Dr. Dre featuring Eminem
“Alive” — Beastie Boys “Oooh.”
— De La Soul featuring Redman
“The Next Episode” — Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg
“Big Pimpin’” — Jay-Z featuring UGK
Best Rap Solo Performance
“The Real Slim Shady” — Eminem
“The Light” — Common
“Party Up (Up in Here)” — DMX
“Shake Ya Ass” — Mystikal
“Country Grammar” — Nelly
In 2001 the Japan Radio Popular Disc Awards named Best Male Vocalist. So vocalist we’re talking rapping, singing, or any musicality with the mouth and Eminem’s who’s voice and cadence has been the subject of ridicule for many years, is the winner?! Now Eminem winning the Juno Award for Best Selling Album in 2001 and 2003 does make sense. Again, Eminem being able to sell records, being internationally popular, or being a great rapper has never been in dispute. My argument is against Eminem being the goat. This is why without question he’s won several World Music Awards for Worlds Best Selling Rap/Hip Hop Artist.
The Billboard Awards has an inconsistent history of including and excluding rap categories at their whim. In 2002, they decided to combine Rap and R&B Album Of The Year into one category:
The Eminem Show
Ashanti, Ashanti
Nellyville, Nelly
Word of Mouf, Ludacris
But what’s interesting is that year Eminem WAS NOT nominated for neither Rap Artist Of The Year nor R&B/Hip Hop Songs Artist Of The Year. Nelly was nominated for both and won the former. He also beat Eminem for Artist Of The Year and Male Artist Of The Year.
Similar to the ECHO Awards, the MOBO (Music Of Black Origin) Awards in the United Kingdom inconsistently gave an award for Best Hip Hop Act. Primarily awarded to British acts, Eminem won in 2000. But in 2010 he won Best International Artist and their hip hop was relegated to only within the U.K.
The MTV Europe Awards kept up the fuckery in 2003–04 awarding Eminem Best Hip Hop Act over 50 Cent, Missy, Jay Z, and Nelly. That’s cool I suppose. But explain in 2004 Best Hip-Hop Act. In a category that includes Kanye, Nelly, and JayZ, they nominate Beastie Boys and awarded D12. AGAIN we are talking BEASTIE BOYS BEING NOMINATED AND D12 WINNING BEST HIP HOP IN 2004. How Sway?!
The 2005–06 American Music Awards were another contrived example of people not from the culture credentializing who’s the best. Will Smith (The Fresh Prince) won Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist in a category with 50 Cent. Neither of whom would say they do neither pop nor rock music. However, 50 Cent was also nominated for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Male Artist along with Ludacris, both losing out to Eminem. I would contend that Eminem makes rap for more of a pop audience than 50. Eminem also won for Favorite Rap Album for Encore over 50 Cent’s The Massacre and T.I.’s Urban Legend.
What’s interesting is that they skipped over the 2004 release of College Dropout for the 2005 outing of 50 Cent. In 2006 for Favorite Rap Album the nominees were: The Black Eyed Peas, T.I. for King, and Eminem for Curtain Call. The Black Eyed Peas won rap album in 2005 (including favorite pop album) and 2006. They also won Favorite Rap Group over Dem Franchize Boyz and Three 6 Mafia. Name one Black Eyed Peas song that has impacted the culture like Lean Wit’ It? Not only NOBODY from the culture checking for The Black Eyed Peas like that but they nominated a damn greatest hits album over original work just like the Echo Awards did. Eminem also won Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist over Kanye and T.I.
2005 also saw Eminem win Teen Choice Awards for Best Rap Artist and Best Rap Song for Mockingbird. What 15 year olds in 2005 were bumpin this that you know?!
2008 VIBE Magazine again helped crystalize public opinion by creating an online bracket-style tournament naming him the Best Rapper Alive. This is how you manufacture public consent
2010 won an American Music Award for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist and Album over B.o.B. and Drake. Neither Kanye nor Nicki Minaj were nominated. At the Grammy Awards, explain this.
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group:
“Crack A Bottle” — Eminem,
Dr. Dre & 50 Cent “Too Many Rappers”
— Beastie Boys & Nas “Money Goes,
Honey Stay” — Fabolous & Jay-Z
“Make Her Say” — Kid Cudi, Kanye West & Common
“Amazing” — Kanye West & Young Jeezy
When was the last time you heard or even would want to listen to Crack A Bottle over Make Her Say or Amazing?! Then look at Best Rap Album:
Relapse — Eminem
Universal Mind Control — Common
R.O.O.T.S. — Flo Rida
The Ecstatic — Mos Def
The Renaissance — Q-Tip
First off, Flo-Rida is hot garbage! Second, Q-Tip and Common’s albums were released in 2008. So, if you’re reaching back to ’08, then you have to include Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak, T.I.’s Paper Trail, and Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III. I’d put Shawty Lo’s Units In The City and Soulja Boy’s iSouljaBoyTellEm up there. Dey Know and Turn My Swag On had a bigger impact on the culture than anything off of Relaps. And ’09 you’re neglected Jay Z’s The Blueprint 3.
2010 also saw Eminem win a MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop Act over Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, T.I., and Kanye West. And at the Teen Choice Awards, Eminem won Best Rap Artist, Rap Album, and Rap Song for “Love The Way You Lie”. I don’t know what teenagers they were polling but I can take a guess. The Soul Train Awards wanted you to believe that “Love The Way You Lie” was the Best Rap Song of 2010 as well. And at the People’s Choice Awards, Eminem won Favorite Hip Hop Artist over Flo Rida, JayZ, Lil Wayne, and T.I. But again, as we reflect back, tell me who and what sound was running hip hop 2008–2010.
So, the 2011 Billboard Awards roll around and Eminem wins Top Rap Artist over Drake, Lil Wayne, Ludacris, and Nicki Minaj. Hmm, I guess. Then he gets Top Rap Album for Recovery over:
Thank Me Later — Drake
Pink Friday — Nicki Minaj
I Am Not a Human Being — Lil Wayne
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy — Kanye West
Help me make sense of it!
Then again at the MTV Europe Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. And once more they conflated 2010 releases with 2011. So the nominees included Snoop Dogg and Pitbull who dropped in 2010 and Lil Wayne and Jay Z/Kanye West from 2011. This is Jay Z/Kanye West as Watch The Throne. But we’re to believe that Eminem’s Recovery was running the rap world more than Watch The Throne.
And at the 2011 People’s Choice Awards, Eminem was given the award over Drake, Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Ludacris. Eminem beat Drake who put out Thank Me Later and Take Care, back-to-back?! Same year at the Teen Choice Awards, he beat out Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull. 2012 People’s Choice gave it to him again over B.o.B., Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull.
MTV Europe Awards back with the bullshit in 2013 giving Eminem the Best Hip Hop Award over Jay-Z, Drake, Kanye West, and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Even though Macklemore is wack AF, still gotta concede that “Thrift Shop” was a bigger record than Eminem’s 2012–13 output.
2014 at the American Music Awards, Eminem was nominated with Drake but didn’t win. Iggy Azalea incomprehensibly won! 2014 Billboard Awards was a complete sham. Eminem won Top Rap Artist and Top Rap Album over Drake, Pitbull, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and Jay-Z. The nominees for Top Rap Song was even more outrageous. “Can’t Hold Us” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton beat out:
“The Monster” — Eminem ft. Rihanna
“Holy Grail” — Jay-Z ft. Justin Timberlake
“Thrift Shop” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz
“Timber” — Pitbull ft. Kesha
“Started From The Bottom” by Drake didn’t even make the cut.
At the 2015 Grammy’s, Eminem won Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for “The Monster” over ILoveMakonnen’s “Tuesday”. Doesn’t make sense. And although it wasn’t nominated, this is the same year as Chris Brown “Loyal”. And Best Rap Album was in complete shambles from the artists chosen to the consistency of the releases:
The Marshall Mathers LP 2 — Eminem
The New Classic — Iggy Azalea
Because the Internet — Childish Gambino
Nobody’s Smiling — Common
Oxymoron — ScHoolboy Q
Blacc Hollywood — Wiz Khalifa
2017 MTV Europe Awards awarded Eminem yet again for Best Hip Hop in the same category as Drake, Future, Kendrick Lamar, and Post Malone. I could even see Post Malone winning but Eminem?! And this is following the same year as “Hotline Bling” from Drake. Eminem but no J. Cole 4 Your Eyez Only?! Eminem but no Kanye The Life Of Pablo. Eminem but no Travis Scott Birds In The Trap Sing Midnight?! EMINEM but no Chance The Rapper Coloring Book. Make it make sense!
Those are all 2016 releases. Eminem didn’t drop until 2017 with Revival. So then you’re talking Kendrick’s DAMN, Drake’s More Life, Rapsody’s Laila’s Wisdom, Jay-Z’s 4:44, and Vince Staple’s Big Fish Theory among others. MTV Europe Awards even had the audacity to nominate him again in 2018 this time along with Travis Scott, Drake, and the Migos. Fortunately, his lost out to Nicki Minaj.
These award shows create the machinations of validity the lens of the mainstream society. Even when rappers like 2Pac, Snoop, Jay Z, Missy Elliott, DMX, etc. crossover, the favorite songs of the mainstream vary quite differently than the favorites of those from within the culture.
And now in 2021, we are already dealt with the propaganda from Eminem’s latest outing Music To Be Murdered By Side A and Side B. He’s already been certified gold and outsold artists like Roddy Ricch and DaBaby who dropped end of 2019. And like his previous projects, it debuted #1 on Billboard, but has an immediate drop off in terms of word of mouth after the first week, and it has ZERO hit songs that resonate in the streets. Once again proving that record sales don’t always equate to moving the culture.
On the Royce Da 5'9" skit “Perspective”, Eminem says: “But you got people of all races Like, coming together and, and Helping shape this from the ground up So now you got little white kids growin’ up with black idols and you got black kids growin’ up with white idols” — Historically, too many black people have been conditioned to attach their esteem and value to white acceptance, acknowledgment, and approval. That’s why black cultural institutions directly or subconsciously look for white legitimacy. White people do a buy low, sell high stock market game with black culture. When black people do it whether it’s rap, dancing, physical features, slang, etc., it is something to be despised, derided, devalued, maligned, and ridiculed. Labels such as ghetto, ratchet, urban, or just summarized as black stuff. But then when whites adopt it, then it garners a sense of validity and becomes “American culture”. But they were shooting with you in the gym. And then if you insist on still calling it black, they’ll say you’re the one being divisive or practicing “reverse racism”. This is conquest by consent. Black people are the creators while other races didn’t get into hip hop until it became something to colonize, monetize, and commercialize.
White execs who have positioned themselves as owners and authorities. White idols have fans. But black idols have customers. Social dynamics have shown a white fan can wield power over celebrities but a black fan cannot. What is the equivalent of “white chocolate” in their stuff? What is the reciprocal of them being “invited to the cookout”? There is no cultural reciprocity. Black excellence can only hope to get to what comes easily to white mediocrity. So white excellence is out of the stratosphere. That’s why the “black idols” they do have are primarily in sports and entertainment because they are essentially providing a service.
And outside of that you’d be hard pressed to get them to name anyone noteworhy let alone idolize. The dominant society has never loved black people but rather what can be siphoned from black people to consume and discard. We are the original American commodity and anything we produce is thought of as a byproduct for everyone else’s gain under the auspices of things like divine providence, manifest destiny, and dominion. “ Nothing has brought more races and more people From all different walks of life together than hip-hop No music has done that I don’t think anything has done that as much as hip-hop has….” — Brought together in what sense when black people are still a global bottom caste? That people still steal and engage in Columbusing and cultural appropriation?
What does it profit black people to create, when others receive the Lionshare of the accolades and profits? There’s a system which enabled Elvis to co-opt and supplant Chuck Berry and Rosetta Tharpe. There’s a system which put out the images on television. Moreover, who determined and changed the trajectory of hip hop from its Afrocentric roots to violence, materialism, sex, and drugs?
The historical lack of black toys, superheroes, and action figures was by design. So, the question is as Eminem ends the “Perspective” skit, how has he made a difference? In conclusion, I have to reiterate that none of this is to say that Eminem isn’t a great MC and an amazing lyricist. Again, I’m just saying he is not The GOAT.
Source: https://medium.com/@russelllawrencebenford/why-eminem-is-still-not-the-greatest-rapper-of-all-time-6bd14eead52d

Eminem was born in 1972. Rakim-1968, LL Cool J-1968, JayZ- 1969, Ice Cube-1969, 2Pac- 1971, Big Pun-1971, Snoop Dogg-1971, Nas-1973, and five months after Notorious B.I.G. So these are his contemporaries but he had the luxury of being able to study rather than compete. Now folktales will lead you to believe that he was just being slept on because he was white. But when you look at Beastie Boys, Vanilla Ice, 3rd Bass, etc. such disparities are not present. And that is quite irregular for someone who we are led to believe to be the greatest of all time. That would be like Magic Johnson being drafted to the NBA in 1979 and Larry Bird not being drafted until 1986 even though they competed against each other in college. How is it that no one from his age group was aware of him when during that era, one of the quickest, easiest and best ways to get on is attack folks directly?
Now I’m not hating on Eminem because he’s white either. There’s a lot of white artists whom I enjoy to varying degrees: Paul Wall, Mac Miller, Your Old Droog, Derek Pope, Machine Gun Kelly, Evidence, El-P of Run The Jewels, etc. What I am saying is that the aesthetic which his lyricism was packaged in is what has ahd folksputting all kinds of extras on him. Reminds me of when folks where caping for Jeremy Lin “Linsanity”. Like yeah he was doing his thing, but it was WHO was doing it that had folks putting extras on it.
Stuff like his BET Cypher Donald Trump freestyle was cool as well as his song “White America”, but as the number one rapper in the world who happens to be white? This is what I consider low hanging fruit of liberals who try to simplify and reduce racism as isolated boogeymen that once exorcised, everything will be all good. But when has Eminem used his music and his platform to really speak to systemic racism white supremacy on a micro and macro level and be a champion of black empowerment while profiting off black culture? February 2003 The Source Magazine published “The Unbearable Whiteness of Emceeing: What the Eminence of Eminem Says About Race” which I found to be very insightful.
Eminem’s first project was in 1995 as a duo with Proof (rip). Same year as Only Built For Cuban Linx by Raekwon, The Infamous by Mobb Deep, Me Against The World by 2Pac, Soul Food by Goodie Mob, among others. Some of the most highly regarded albums and MCs ever and yet no one was checking for “the goat” Eminem?
Now in 1996 that is when Eminem put out his official solo project with Infinite. Same year as All Eyez On Me and Makaveli from 2Pac, Reasonable Doubt by JayZ, It Was Written from Nas, The Score by Fugees, ATLiens from OutKast, etc. Who was checking for Eminem??
We’re going to just skip all the fire that came out 1997–98 such as DMX, Redman, Big Pun, Juvenile, Method Man. But do your Googles and see what songs from those years you’d rather hear than anything Eminem put out from 1995–1999.
It is not until 1999 that we get the much heralded Slim Shady LP. This is after the “East Coast/West Coast” feud when everyone was going at whomever, whenever. Plenty of space and opportunity for Eminem to assert himself whether attacking someone or defending someone. I’m not saying that he might not have been able to hold his own. But the way people used to go at each other back then, they definitely would’ve been on his ass. You either had to rhyme and/or throw hands. However, after the dust cleared, he comes out during the peace and prosperity of the “shiny suit era”. But you tell me what songs from Slim Shady LP resonate with the culture and have had the lasting appeal as: Dr. Dre’s Chronic 2001, Pharoahe Monch’s Simon Says, Missy Elliot’s Da Real World, and JayZ’s Vol. 3? Better yet, this is the same year that B.G. put out “Bling, Bling” and Ja Rule’s “Holla Holla”. And the icing on the cake — Mobb Deep released “Quiet Storm”. Nuff said!
The year 2000 brought us The Marshall Mathers LP. Great album indeed. But ask yourself, what song has been in rotation in the last 20 years with the likes of: OutKast’s “So Fresh & So Clean”, Ghostface Killah’s “Cherchez La Ghost”, M.O.P.’s “Ante Up”, Prodigy’s “Keep It Thoro”, or even Three 6 Mafia’s “Sippin On Some Sizzurp”? And I just heard Ludacris’ “What’s Yo Fantasy” last week. And you can’t forget this is the year Nelly debuted. I’ll add Big Tymers’ “Everybody Get Your Roll On” to that list too.
2001 is when JayZ released The Blueprint. Eminem’s verse on “Renegade” is one of those watershed moments along with Nas saying on “Ether” how JayZ got bodied by him that really began to crystalize public opinion, but it is the same record which the same is said of rapper Beanie Sigel. And that is just as debatable. Eminem released his group D12 in 2001 with Devil’s Night. It debuted #1 and went 2x platinum, the same year as Put Yo Hood Up by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz, but despite the disparity in sales, you tell me which album has the most songs that have rang off the most in the hood (no pun intended)? 2001 also brought us Pain Is Love from Ja Rule, Stillmatic from Nas, and Word of Mouf by Ludacris
The Eminem Show dropped in 2002. Another fine project. Was it as innovative as N.E.R.D’s In Search Of…?But are there any songs that had the staying power in the hip hop community like State Property’s “Roc The Mic” (which features Beanie Sigel), or “Say I Yi Yi” from Ying Yang Twins? And this was the same year as ’03 Bonnie & Clyde with JayZ & Beyonce and Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz sparking the dawn of the crunk era with Kings of Crunk. Also, we can’t leave out Nelly’s Nellyville and Nas’ God’s Son. So not only did Eminem not have the definitive sound of the year but he also did not have either of the two songs which defined 2002. I submit to you: Clipse “Grindin’” and Missy Elliott “Work It”. But Eminem is the goat??
Now let’s juxtapose what we’ve learned so far with 50 Cent who put out the mixtapes Guess Who’s Back and 50 Cent Is The Future also in 2002. Keep in mind 50 Cent, born in 1975, was discovered by Jam Master Jay (rip) in 1996, had a deal with Columbia Records in 1999, and released his first mixtape Power Of The Dollar in 2000 with the song How To Rob. So in 2000, 50 Cent was already buzzing on the street way more than Eminem was before he came out. And Eminem was two albums in. 2002 is when Eminem not discovered by rather “Columbused” 50 Cent after he lost his deal in 2001 due to infamously being shot nine times. Eminem re-introduces him on the mixtape drop No Mercy, No Fear and simultaneously 8 Mile soundtrack in 2002 with the song “Wanksta”. “Wanksta” produced more anticipation for his debut Get Rich Or Die Trying in 2003 than Eminem did leading up to his. But Eminem is supposed to be the goat? And he’s often ranked over 50 Cent.
Eminem is from Michigan. The hip hop scene from 1995–1999 was pretty localized unlike today where you can be whoever from wherever and find an audience on social media and SoundCloud. How is it that one of “the goats” managed to not have any buzz in the Midwest prior to his debut? Common and Twista were three albums in, and although they have had moderately successful careers, they haven’t reached any of the sales as Eminem. 1994 Common dropped the seminal classic “I Used To Love H.E.R.” And by his 3rd album he had features from Lauryn Hill, Black Thought, Cee-Lo, De La Soul, Q-Tip, and Eminem’s former arch-rival Canibus. And yet we are led to believe that nobody was checking for an eventual goat until 1999? People talk about his mythical rap battles. But who did he beat?? Eminem lost in 1997 at the Rap Olympics to a rapper named Otherwize and at the ’97 Scribble Jam to MC J.U.I.C.E. So not only are the only known records of his battle rap days are L’s but they are against virtual nobodies (no disrespect). You’ve heard stories about the back in the day with the Juice Crew/Boogie Down Productions ‘Bridge Wars’, JayZ vs. Busta Rhymes in the cafeteria, etc. And we are supposed to believe that a goat like Eminem NEVER crossed paths with anyone notable until he really, really got on? Hip hop has often paralleled the NBA and when have you ever heard of a goat that nobody hooped with in the park, high school, or even seen on the block?
So aside from 50 Cent and eventually G-Unit in 2003, there were other people who dropped indelible hits: Freeway, Fabolous, T.I., Youngbloodz, DMX, JayZ, Ludacris, OuKast. But how is it that 50 Cent with the same Dr. Dre/Interscope engine can make better records than Eminem and his group G-Unit is vastly superior to Eminem’s D-12? So Eminem is a goat but has one of the WEAKEST crews in terms of skills and relevance to the culture: 50 Cent and G-Unit, JayZ’s State Property/Roc-La-Familia, 2Pac’s Outlawz, Outkast’s Dungeon Family, Nas’ Bravehearts, Cam’ron’s The Diplomats, Master P.’s No Limit, Birdman’s Big Tymers/Hot Boys, Ludacris’ DTP, you can just go on and on. You’re a goat but ain’t produce not one hit record except for “Purple Pills” and that ain’t even a banger?! Not one person from Eminem’s crew has had a hit record either. Yet when you look at all of the aforementioned, you can name one if not several from each who had respectable outings. Obie Trice wasn’t a superstar. Furthermore, when checking out Slaughterhouse, Royce da 5'9", Joe Budden, etc. were already doing their thing. And he was unable to take their careers to the next level despite his star power. Because as a implied from the beginning, his elevation is completely overstated. Rappers such as those in Slaughterhouse and Griselda gang are of a similar skill set and rhyme style but don’t get nearly the mainstream attention that Eminem has received.
Then 2004 rolls in and Eminem releases Encore. Now aside from the solo debuts from Young Buck and Lloyd Banks from G-Unit, this was the same year that Kanye West released The College Dropout. Nuff said!
In 2004, Eminem released another D12 group project with D12 World. Another 2x platinum album, which peaked #1. It even had higher first-week sales than Kanye if that makes any sense. However, what songs from that album can you name have been more popular than The Diplomats’ Diplomatic Immunity 2 and Lil Jon and The East Side Boyz’ Crunk Juice?
2005 is Eminem’s greatest hits album Curtain Call. Explain to me how it is 7x platinum yet Kanye West’s Late Registration is only 3x platinum. By this time Eminem was only 4 albums in. Are we supposed to believe that from 1999–2005 he had 4 projects better than 4 JayZ projects during that time?
Kanye West pretty much OWNED hip hop until Eminem returned in 2009 with Relapse. That 5 year run was way more impactful than any Eminem stretch from music releases to production to fashion. Also during this time you have the introduction of rappers like The Game (another G-Unit soldier), Rick Ross, Jeezy, and Gucci Mane. T.I. was becoming a staple. Lil Wayne was cementing his legacy. Lupe Fiasco, another rapper, highly touted for his lyricism, was doing his thing. 2009 was also the year “Swag Surfin’” came out. Nuff said!
Eminem puts out Recovery in 2010. Same year as Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and Drake’s Thank Me Later. Both albums which have had way more staying power than Eminem. “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled came out that year too. 2010 also saw the rise of Waka Flocka Flame with “O Let’s Do It” and “Hard In The Paint”. Eminem has yet to create such anthems for the culture but is supposed to be a goat??
So in 2011, Eminem drops the album Hell: The Sequel with Royce Da 5'9" as the duo Bad Meets Evil. Now the single “Lighters” from that album along with “I Need A Doctor” a song he did with Dr. Dre and Skylar Grey, both peaked at #4 on Billboard. “I Need A Doctor” is Dr. Dre’s second highest peaking song on the chart ever. Now who do you know that if you asked them to name their top 5 favorite Dr. Dre songs and that song is on their list? When was the last time your heard Lighters? These songs peaked higher than But 2011 is the year Tyler The Creator and Big Sean dropped their debut studio albums. Section 80 by Kendrick Lamar also came out in 2011. But one duo was the pulse of 2011, JayZ and Kanye West with Watch The Throne.
2012 is the year Kendrick Lamar officially arrived with Good Kid, M.A.A.D City. There really isn’t anything more that needs to be said after that. But you also have Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded from Nicki Minaj and 2 Chainz debuting as a solo act. Eminem didn’t come back on the scene until 2013 with Marshall Mathers LP 2. It had higher first-week sales than Nothing Was The Same by Drake, Magna Carta Holy Grail by JayZ, Yeezus from Kanye West, AND Born Sinner from J. Cole. How Sway?! It makes about as much sense as Macklemore winning Best Rap Album and Best New Artist and being nominated for Album of the Year in 2012 with The Heist. “Thrift Shop” was the equivalent of My Name Is… or The Real Slim Shady, a cool little bop but not hardly a hip hop classic in the least.
2013–2017 was Eminem’s longest hiatus not returning until the end of the year with Revival. And yet he was being nominated and oftentimes winning awards and accolades from the dominant society while his contemporaries were putting out quality product. Revival was the first album that you could argue was panned by critics although it still went gold and debuted at #1 on Billboard. DAMN from Kendrick Lamar and JayZ’s 4:44 were the talk of 2017.
2018 brings us to Eminem’s Kamikaze. Another album which debuted #1 and went platinum. It had more first-week sales than Invasion Of Privacy by Cardi B., KOD from J. Cole, and Culture II from Migos, but who has had more of an impact on the culture? In 2018 were more people talking about Eminem or Pusha T with Daytona?
Eminem was like a rap Weird Al Yankovic when he came on the scene who used crazy videos and shocking antics to propel his career. After the initial press run of his projects, real hip hop heads drop off really quickly and move on to that real shit. Jimmy Iovine and Interscope Records knew that with his talent, the street cred and music production of Dr. Dre, a great package could be sold to the masses. That otherwise would just be another “spherical-lyrical-miracle rappity rap” rapper. Where are the Eminem fans who champion other backpack, lyricist lounge rappers in the same regard?
The film 8 Mile has been romanticized into people thinking it was an autobiography. However, it was presented as “based on a true story” or as to say fictionalized for dramatic effect. One of the main purposes for doing so is that it allows Hollywood to embellish events and have “creative license”. Consequently, then people put all kinds of extras on Eminem’s rap battle career like he’s Rocky Balboa.
Eminem is supposed to be goat but when you look at his career he never went up against anyone except for women and pop stars. People put all these extras on Eminem but who has he defeated to be warrant such fear?
No one has been afraid of anyone ever in the history of rap but all of a sudden Eminem is above reproach? Nelly wasn’t afraid to respond to KRS-One. Common and Ice Cube went at it and Common had no problem going at Drake either. But Eminem’s resume of targets are: NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Insane Clown Posse, Britney Spears, Moby, Christina Aguilera, and Michael Jackson. Jermaine Dupri isn’t a rapper. Benzino respected in the hood but not top-tier. Is he even top 5 out of Boston? Are we giving him the crown because he went at Fred Durst of rap/rock group Limp Bizkit? Machine Gun Kelly is not a top-tier rapper either and he BARELY won. I would argue that he had the better bars but MGK had the better song, beat, and rollout. Even in the beef with Ja Rule, 50 Cent did most of the heavy lifting and dropped the finishing blow. Eminem stayed away from damn near all of 50 Cent’s beefs with real heavyweights like Lil Wayne and The Lox yet 50 is always putting on the cape for Eminem at slightest sign of trouble. Much respect to Lord Jamar but some would say that he Grand Puba was the best rapper in his group not him? However, on one of their top hits “Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down”, Grand Puba isn’t on it. Name one D-12 hit without Eminem. Notwithstanding the fact that Brand Nubian and Dead Prez are much more highly regarded in the pantheon of hip hop than D-12 has ever been. Canibus was probably the only lyrical challenge but he proved to be a choke artist and already took a L from LL Cool J. People are taking his side during the Nick Cannon beef but the facts are this began with Eminem again going after a popstar in Mariah Carey. Nick is supposed to defend the honor of his (ex)wife and the mother of his children. And the criticism he’s received is that he’s getting help from the Wild N’ Out cast?! Well Bizarre jumped out the window with lackluster diss records for Joe Budden and MGK. But even Uncle Luke from 2 Live Crew didn’t backdown from Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg with Cowards In Compton. Uncle Luke and Kid n’ Play even had beef at one point. 2Pac and De La Soul had issues back in the day as well. Eazy-E (who didn’t write his own rhymes), got help on “Real Muthaphuckkin G’s”. 2Pac had “Hit Em Up”, Ice Cube had “No Vaseline”, JayZ’s “Takeover”, Nas’ “Ether”, how is it that Eminem hasn’t made a classic diss record? Not even a legendary diss verse or battle along the lines of Lil Flip vs. T.I. or T.I. and Ludacris?
Gucci Mane dissed Eminem on a song with Mariah Carey entitled “Obsessed” and he threw shade at him in a radio interview, but Eminem has never addressed it. The goat wouldn’t and shouldn’t be taking any direspect from anyone especially your reputation is that you’re not the one to be messed with on the mic.
Prodigy (RIP) has battled more top-tier rappers and held his own than Eminem.
Eminem came at Tyler The Creator for criticizing his music. And while I would contend that Tyler isn’t a better MC than Em, is there any question that the style and innovation of Tyler and Odd Future has superceded that of Em of D-12?
Who did you know that wore Eminem’s brand, Shady Ltd./Shady Wear and what did they look like? And how does it stack up to other rapper clothing lines like Wu Wear, Apple Bottoms, State Property, or even Tyler’s Golf Wang?
How is it that Eminem is the goat but he’s the least sampled, least referenced goat? Not a beat, hook, or anything that’s been flipped or remixed? And he has the least amount of notable features. Now the “stans” will say it’s because they don’t want to be outshined but why hasn’t that stopped people from working with other greats?
So not only does Eminem have a classic diss record but he doesn’t have a classic street anthem, party record, song for the ladies, conscious rap, dance move, or any other prominent category. Of the goats, Eminem has the least noticeable impact in look, style, flow, voice, or slang. The people who have apparently patterned themselves after him are folks like G-Eazy, Hopsin, Joyner Lucas, Merkules, Yelawolf, and Logic. And I rest my case. If Eminem were black he would be Hopsin at worst and Redman or Busta Rhymes at best (much respect to them). Let him and Royce da 5'9" switch places.
Eminem takes liberty to reiterate this on the song “Fall”, but aside from being from Detroit, how has Eminem inspired Big Sean and Royce? That’s like saying JayZ, Mos Def, Big Daddy Kane, Sean Price and Fabolous gave us Tekashi69 because they’re all from Brooklyn. Em is the biggest rap artist from the entire state of Michigan. However, what Eminem song would you recommend someone hear to get that feel? Hip hop has always been very sonically regional in its essence. What Eminem song puts on for the city that makes you see and feel Detroit? There’s no Detroit references, slang, visuals, bridging of musical history (Motown, techno, etc.) Not even a “What Up Doe?!”. How did he avoid to not do any work with Slum Village or the legendary J. Dilla (RIP)??
There’s often been comparisons between Eminem and Elvis Presley. But I liken Em to martial arts star Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is one of the most successful martial arts stars ever but he is not a creator, innovator, nor master of any martial arts style. Yet he is quite larger than many of the originators. Like Norris, Eminem is quite proficient in various styles but he’s a master of none. And then created his own style (Chun Kuk Do), and put himself at the top. Eminem never shies away from crediting O.G.’s Kool G Rap, Naughty By Nature, Poor Righteous Teachers, etc. However, I think Em has a bit of a white savior complex of asserting his authority and dictating what is/is not real hip hop leaving black folks as just receptacles. Then getting upset when we reject it. Moreover, like Norris and his “Norris facts” or the “sniper skills”, Eminem has been mythologized and mysticized as a “Rap God”. No, I don’t think Eminem is a culture vulture or guilty of cultural appropriation . I think he could be a better cultural steward. Good stewardship being defined as “the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care”. I would consider people like Stretch Armstrong, DJ Muggs, Alchemist, and Steve Rifkind such exemplary custodians of the culture.
Ask yourself what exactly are Eminem’s top 5 songs? When and how often have you listened to them after they initial release? After the media machine of Viacom took it out of rotation on MTV’s networks and shows like TRL and subsequently, BET. And when do you put them in rotation at the club, barbershop, with your lady, hanging with the fellas, etc.? Then compare those top 5 songs to the top 5 of his contemporaries. Name your top 5 Eminem songs and see if it was the #1 rap song that year in the hip hop community.
One of the main talking points regarding Eminem being “the goat” is in regards to his record sales. This is rather moot when you after you consider the consumption of the dominant society, record sales, have never been solely indicative of the measure in which hip hop determines greatness as an MC. If that were the case, then rappers like Nelly, MC Hammer, Flo-Rida, Chingy, and Lil Nas X, should be on people’s top 10 list.
Likewise could be said of awards. Otherwise, who’s saying Young MC Coolio is top tier? DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) won the first rap Grammy in 1989 but I would hardly consider that to be the best album of ’89 nor are they top 10 in duos/groups of all-time. Institutions primarily in the dominant society choose who to praise, credentialize, and reward including the categories of merit. Notorious B.I.G., 2Pac, Snoop Dogg, Nas, and Busta Rhymes are just a few who have NEVER been nominated for a Grammy. Just focusing on rap/hip hop categories, let’s break this down even further:
In 1999, Eminem won the MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop over Beastie Boys, Busta Rhymes, Puff Daddy, and Will Smith. (See #5)I’m confused about the nominees as well as him winning. Interesting in 1999, Eminem also won an MTV Music Award for Best New Artist “My Name Is…” but he was not nominated in neither the Best Rap Video nor Best Hip Hop video categories. Now in 2000, Eminem began winning awards regarding his video starting with two Billboard awards. Again, the outlandish videos were one of the things that has kept him in the minds of the public. Blockbuster (yeah that Blockbuster Video) decided to create their own awards from 1995–2001 and gave Eminem the award for Favorite Rap Artist in 2001. Go figure?! In 2001, the MTV Europe Music Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. D12 was nominated as well along with Missy Elliott, Outkast, and P. Diddy. D12?! You have to be kidding me! So not only throw in a June 2001 release into the mix with projects from the previous year, but they want you to believe that this was the best hip hop of 2000–01. (See #7)Eve with Scorpion was a better album than D12.
A German association of record companies puts on a ceremony of their own called the Echo Awards. Check out the link and see how preposterous the nominations were. I’m not going to go through ever single one but it was pretty much a foregone conclusion they would give him the award every year. Notwithstanding the fact that in 2001, Eminem won over Nelly’s Country Grammar. Now of course, Eminem is a better MC but if you’re talking about which album had the most hit records in the hip hop community, I’m going to have to say Nelly. Are we really saying in 2002, D12 Devil’s Night was a better album than Outkast Stankonia?! 2003 they gave it to The Eminem Show over Nellyville. Again check this discography and you tell me which has gotten more play over the years. 2005, the Echo Awards nominated D12 and Eminem AGAIN, for D12 World and Encore, respectively. And to add insult to injury, the Beastie Boys were nominated for To The 5 Boroughs. But not College Dropout?! The Echo Awards nominated Eminem for Curtain Call: The Hits in 2006 and 2007 (winning in 2007). So A F#KIN GREATEST HITS ALBUM that was released in 2005 was nominated TWICE and won Best Hip Hop over albums released the previous eligible year like T.I.’s King, Rick Ross’s Port Of Miami, and Lupe Fiasco’s Food & Liquor, but EVERYONE knows the best rap album of 2005 was Late Registration. Even Common’s Be was a smash! You’re awarding a greatest hits album over original content?! The only thing Eminem put out in 2006 was Eminem Presents: The Re-Up kanyeshrug After 2008, when Eminem stopped putting out records, they just disbanded the category altogether for the most part staying local except for 2011 when they awarded him AGAIN for Recovery. That is until 2014 awarding him yet again for MMLP2 over JayZ’s MC-HG. They also nominated Macklemore for The Heist, which was released in 2012, but skipped over Kanye and Cole which came out the actual review year (see #18). And after 2014, the Echo Awards were just like fuck it and stuck to only local German acts. This is a blueprint tho of how whenveer Eminem puts outs an album, he wins. And when he doesn’t the industry is just like meh whatever when it comes to rap/hip hop. (The coupe times 5o Cent don’t count because he’s under the Shady umbrella).
So staying in 2001, we get the Grammy Awards. Reflect and tell me what has stood the test of time:
Best Rap Album
The Marshall Mathers LP — Eminem …And Then There Was X — DMX Dr. Dre — 2001 — Dr. Dre Vol. 3… Life and Times of S. Carter — Jay-Z Country Grammar — Nelly
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group “Forgot About Dre” — Dr. Dre featuring Eminem “Alive” — Beastie Boys “Oooh.” — De La Soul featuring Redman “The Next Episode” — Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg “Big Pimpin’” — Jay-Z featuring UGK
Best Rap Solo Performance “The Real Slim Shady” — Eminem “The Light” — Common “Party Up (Up in Here)” — DMX “Shake Ya Ass” — Mystikal “Country Grammar” — Nelly
2001 the Japan Radio Popular Disc Awards named Best Male Vocalist. So vocalist we’re talking rapping, singing, or any musicality with the mouth and Eminem’s who’s voice and cadence has been the subject of ridicule for many years, is the winner?! Now Eminem winning the Juno Award for Best Selling Album in 2001 and 2003 does make sense. Again, Eminem being able to sell records, being internationally popular, or being a great rapper has never been in dispute. My argument is against Eminem being the goat. This is why without question he’s won several World Music Awards for Worlds Best Selling Rap/Hip Hop Artist.
The Billboard Awards has an inconsistent history of including and excluding rap categories at their whim. In 2002, they decided to combine Rap and R&B Album Of The Year into one category:
The Eminem Show Ashanti, Ashanti Nellyville, Nelly Word of Mouf, Ludacris
But what’s interesting is that year Eminem WAS NOT nominated for neither Rap Artist Of The Year nor R&B/Hip Hop Songs Artist Of The Year. Nelly was nominated for both and won the former. He also beat Eminem for Artist Of The Year and Male Artist Of The Year.
Similar to the ECHO Awards, the MOBO (Music Of Black Origin) Awards in the United Kingdom inconsistenly gave an award for Best Hip Hop Act. Primarily awarded to British acts, Eminem won in 2000. But in 2010 he won Best International Artist and there hip hop was relegated to only within the U.K.
The MTV Europe Awards kept up the fuckery in 2003–04 awarding Eminem Best Hip Hop Act over 50 Cent, Missy, JayZ, and Nelly. That’s cool I suppose. But explain in 2004 Best Hip-Hop Act. In a category that includes Kanye, Nelly, and JayZ, they nominate Beastie Boys and awarded D12. AGAIN we are talking BEASTIE BOYS BEING NOMINATED AND D12 WINNING BEST HIP HOP IN 2004. How Sway?!
The 2005–06 American Music Awards were another contrived example of people not from the culture credentializing who’s the best. Will Smith (The Fresh Prince) won Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist in a category with 50 Cent. Neither of whom would say they do neither pop nor rock music. However, 50 Cent was also nominated for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Male Artist along with Ludacris, both losing out to Eminem. I would contend that Eminem makes rap for more of a pop audience than 50. Eminem also won for Favorite Rap Album for Encore over 50 Cent’s The Massacre and T.I.’s Urban Legend. What’s interesting is that they skipped over the 2004 release of College Dropout for the 2005 outing of 50 Cent. In 2006 for Favorite Rap Album the nominees were: The Black Eyed Peas, T.I. for King, and Eminem for Curtain Call. The Black Eyed Peas won rap album in 2005 (including favorite pop album) and 2006. They also won Favorite Rap Group over Dem Franchize Boyz and Three 6 Mafia. Name one Black Eyed Peas song that has impacted the culture like Lean Wit’ It? Not only NOBODY from the culture checking for The Black Eyed Peas like that but they nominated a damn greatest hits album over original work just like the Echo Awards did. Eminem also won Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist over Kanye and T.I.
2005 also saw Eminem win Teen Choice Awards for Best Rap Artist and Best Rap Song for Mockingbird. What 15 year olds in 2005 were bumpin this that you know?!
2008 VIBE Magazine again helped crystalize public opinion by creating an online bracket-style tournament naming him the Best Rapper Alive. This is how you manufacture public consent
2010 won an American Music Award for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist and Album over B.o.B. and Drake. Neither Kanye nor Nicki Minaj were nominated. At the Grammy Awards, explain this.
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group: “Crack A Bottle” — Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent “Too Many Rappers” — Beastie Boys & Nas “Money Goes, Honey Stay” — Fabolous & Jay-Z “Make Her Say” — Kid Cudi, Kanye West & Common “Amazing” — Kanye West & Young Jeezy
When was the last time you heard or even would want to listen to Crack A Bottle over Make Her Say or Amazing?! Then look at Best Rap Album:
Relapse — Eminem Universal Mind Control — Common R.O.O.T.S. — Flo Rida The Ecstatic — Mos Def The Renaissance — Q-Tip
First off, Flo-Rida is hot garbage! Second, Q-Tip and Common’s albums were released in 2008. So if you’re reaching back to ’08, then you have to include Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak, T.I.’s Paper Trail, and Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III. I’d put Shawty Lo’s Units In The City and Soulja Boy’s iSouljaBoyTellEm up there. Dey Know and Turn My Swag On had a bigger impact on the culture than anything off of Relaps. And ’09 you’re neglected JayZ’s The Blueprint 3.
2010 also saw Eminem win a MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop Act over Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, T.I., and Kanye West. And at the Teen Choice Awards, Eminem won Best Rap Artist, Rap Album, and Rap Song for “Love The Way You Lie”. I don’t know what teenagers they were polling but I can take a guess. The Soul Train Awards wanted you to believe that “Love The Way You Lie” was the Best Rap Song of 2010 as well. And at the People’s Choice Awards, Eminem won Favorite Hip Hop Artist over Flo Rida, JayZ, Lil Wayne, and T.I. But again as we reflect back, tell me who and what sound was running hip hop 2008–2010.
So the 2011 Billboard Awards roll around and Eminem wins Top Rap Artist over Drake, Lil Wayne, Ludacris, and Nicki Minaj. Hmm, I guess. Then he gets Top Rap Album for Recovery over:
Thank Me Later — Drake Pink Friday — Nicki Minaj I Am Not a Human Being — Lil Wayne My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy — Kanye West Help me make sense of it!
Then again at the MTV Europe Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. And once more they conflated 2010 releases with 2011. So the nominees included Snoop Dogg and Pitbull who dropped in 2010 and Lil Wayne and JayZ/Kanye West from 2011. This is JayZ/Kanye West as Watch The Throne. But we’re to believe that Eminem’s Recovery was running the rap world more than Watch The Throne.
And at the 2011 People’s Choice Awards, Eminem was given the award over Drake, Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Ludacris. Eminem beat Drake who put out Thank Me Later and Take Care, back to back?! Same year at the Teen Choice Awards, he beat out Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull. 2012 People’s Choice gave it to him again over B.o.B., Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull.
MTV Europe Awards back with the bullshit in 2013 giving Eminem the Best Hip Hop Award over Jay-Z, Drake, Kanye West, and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Even though Macklemore is wack AF, still gotta concede that “Thrift Shop” was a bigger record than Eminem’s 2012–13 output.
2014 at the American Music Awards, Eminem was nominated with Drake but didn’t win. Iggy Azalea incomprehensibly won! 2014 Billboard Awards was a complete sham. Eminem won Top Rap Artist and Top Rap Album over Drake, Pitbull, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and Jay-Z. The nominees fot Top Rap Song was even more outrageous. “Can’t Hold Us” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton beat out:
“The Monster” — Eminem ft. Rihanna “Holy Grail” — Jay-Z ft. Justin Timberlake “Thrift Shop” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz “Timber” — Pitbull ft. Kesha “Started From The Bottom” by Drake didn’t even make the cut.
At the 2015 Grammy’s, Eminem won Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for “The Monster” over ILoveMakonnen’s “Tuesday”. Doesn’t make sense. And although it wasn’t nominated, this is the same year as Chris Brown “Loyal”. And Best Rap Album was in complete shambles from the artists chosen to the consistency of the releases:
The Marshall Mathers LP 2 — Eminem The New Classic — Iggy Azalea Because the Internet — Childish Gambino Nobody’s Smiling — Common Oxymoron — ScHoolboy Q Blacc Hollywood — Wiz Khalifa
2017 MTV Europe Awards awarded Eminem yet again for Best Hip Hop in the same category as Drake, Future, Kendrick Lamar, and Post Malone. I could even see Post Malone winning but Eminem?! And this is following the same year as “Hotline Bling” from Drake. Eminem but no J. Cole 4 Your Eyez Only?! Eminem but no Kanye The Life Of Pablo. Eminem but no Travis Scott Birds In The Trap Sing Midnight?! EMINEM but no Chance The Rapper Coloring Book. Make it make sense! Those are all 2016 releases. Eminem didn’t drop until 2017 with Revival. So then you’re talking Kendrick’s DAMN, Drake’s More Life, Rapsody’s Laila’s Wisdom, Jay-Z’s 4:44, and Vince Staple’s Big Fish Theory among others. MTV Europe Awards even had the audacity to nominate him again in 2018 this time along with Travis Scott, Drake, and the Migos. Fortunately, his lost out to Nicki Minaj.
These award shows create the machinations of validity the lens of the mainstream society. Even when rappers like 2Pac, Snoop, JayZ, Missy Elliott, DMX, etc. crossover, the favorite songs of the mainstream vary quite differently than the favorites of those from within the culture.
And now in 2021, we are already dealing with the propaganda from Eminem’s latest outing Music To Be Murdered By Side A and Side B. He’s already been certified gold and outsold artists like Roddy Ricch and DaBaby who dropped end of 2019. And like his previous projects, it debuted #1 on Billboard, but has an immediate drop off in terms of word of mouth after the first week, and it has ZERO hit songs that resonate in the streets. Once again proving that record sales don’t always equate to moving the culture.
On the Royce Da 5'9" skit “Perspective”, Eminem says: “ But you got people of all races Like, coming together and, and Helping shape this from the ground up So now you got little white kids growin’ up with black idols And you got black kids growin’ up with white idols” — Historically, too many black people have been conditioned to attach their esteem and value to white acceptance, acknowledgment, and approval. That’s why black cultural institutions directly or subconsciously look for white legitimacy. White people do a buy low, sell high stock market game with black culture. When black people do it whether it’s rap, dancing, physical features, slang, etc., it is something to be despised, derided, devalued, maligned, and ridiculed. Labels such as ghetto, ratchet, urban, or just summarized as black stuff. But then when whites adopt it, then it garners a sense of validity and becomes “American culture”. But they were shooting with you in the gym. And then if you insist on still calling it black, they’ll say you’re the one being divisive or practicing “reverse racism”. This is conquest by consent. Black people are the creators while other races didn’t get into hip hop until it became something to colonize, monetize, and commercialize.
White execs who have positioned themselves as owners and authorities. White idols have fans. But black idols have customers. Social dynamics have shown a white fan can wield power over celebrities but a black fan cannot. What is the equivalent of “white chocolate” in their stuff? What is the reciprocal of them being “invited to the cookout”? There is no cultural reciprocity. Black excellence can only hope to get to what comes easily to white mediocrity. So white excellence is out of the stratosphere. That’s why the “black idols” they do have are primarily in sports and entertainment because they are essentially providing a service. And outside of that you’d be hard pressed to get them to name anyone noteworhy let alone idolize. The dominant society has never loved black people but rather what can be siphoned from black people to consume and discard. We are the original American commodity and anything we produce is thought of as a byproduct for everyone else’s gain under the auspices of things like divine providence, manifest destiny, and dominion. “ Nothing has brought more races and more people From all different walks of life together than hip-hop No music has done that I don’t think anything has done that as much as hip-hop has….” — Brought together in what sense when black people are still a global bottom caste? That people still steal and engage in Columbusing and cultural appropriation?
What does it profit black people to create, when others receive the lionshare of the accolades and profits? There’s a system which enabled Elvis to co-opt and supplant Chuck Berry and Rosetta Tharpe. There’s a system which put out the images on television. Moreover, who determined and changed the trajectory of hip hop from its Afrocentric roots to violence, materialism, sex, and drugs?
The historical lack of black toys, superheroes, and action figures was by design. So the question is as Eminem ends the “Pespective” skit, how has he made a difference? In conclusion, I have to reiterate that none of this is to say that Eminem isn’t a great MC and an amazing lyricist. Again, I’m just saying he is not The GOAT.
Source: https://medium.com/@russelllawrencebenford/why-eminem-is-still-not-the-greatest-rapper-of-all-time-6bd14eead52d

Eminem was born in 1972. Rakim-1968, LL Cool J-1968, JayZ- 1969, Ice Cube-1969, 2Pac- 1971, Big Pun-1971, Snoop Dogg-1971, Nas-1973, and five months after Notorious B.I.G. So these are his contemporaries but he had the luxury of being able to study rather than compete. Now folktales will lead you to believe that he was just being slept on because he was white. But when you look at Beastie Boys, Vanilla Ice, 3rd Bass, etc. such disparities are not present. And that is quite irregular for someone who we are led to believe to be the greatest of all time. That would be like Magic Johnson being drafted to the NBA in 1979 and Larry Bird not being drafted until 1986 even though they competed against each other in college. How is it that no one from his age group was aware of him when during that era, one of the quickest, easiest and best ways to get on is attack folks directly?
Now I’m not hating on Eminem because he’s white either. There’s a lot of white artists whom I enjoy to varying degrees: Paul Wall, Mac Miller, Your Old Droog, Derek Pope, Machine Gun Kelly, Evidence, El-P of Run The Jewels, etc. What I am saying is that the aesthetic which his lyricism was packaged in is what has ahd folksputting all kinds of extras on him. Reminds me of when folks where caping for Jeremy Lin “Linsanity”. Like yeah he was doing his thing, but it was WHO was doing it that had folks putting extras on it.
Stuff like his BET Cypher Donald Trump freestyle was cool as well as his song “White America”, but as the number one rapper in the world who happens to be white? This is what I consider low hanging fruit of liberals who try to simplify and reduce racism as isolated boogeymen that once exorcised, everything will be all good. But when has Eminem used his music and his platform to really speak to systemic racism white supremacy on a micro and macro level and be a champion of black empowerment while profiting off black culture? February 2003 The Source Magazine published “The Unbearable Whiteness of Emceeing: What the Eminence of Eminem Says About Race” which I found to be very insightful.
Eminem’s first project was in 1995 as a duo with Proof (rip). Same year as Only Built For Cuban Linx by Raekwon, The Infamous by Mobb Deep, Me Against The World by 2Pac, Soul Food by Goodie Mob, among others. Some of the most highly regarded albums and MCs ever and yet no one was checking for “the goat” Eminem?
Now in 1996 that is when Eminem put out his official solo project with Infinite. Same year as All Eyez On Me and Makaveli from 2Pac, Reasonable Doubt by JayZ, It Was Written from Nas, The Score by Fugees, ATLiens from OutKast, etc. Who was checking for Eminem??
We’re going to just skip all the fire that came out 1997–98 such as DMX, Redman, Big Pun, Juvenile, Method Man. But do your Googles and see what songs from those years you’d rather hear than anything Eminem put out from 1995–1999.
It is not until 1999 that we get the much heralded Slim Shady LP. This is after the “East Coast/West Coast” feud when everyone was going at whomever, whenever. Plenty of space and opportunity for Eminem to assert himself whether attacking someone or defending someone. I’m not saying that he might not have been able to hold his own. But the way people used to go at each other back then, they definitely would’ve been on his ass. You either had to rhyme and/or throw hands. However, after the dust cleared, he comes out during the peace and prosperity of the “shiny suit era”. But you tell me what songs from Slim Shady LP resonate with the culture and have had the lasting appeal as: Dr. Dre’s Chronic 2001, Pharoahe Monch’s Simon Says, Missy Elliot’s Da Real World, and JayZ’s Vol. 3? Better yet, this is the same year that B.G. put out “Bling, Bling” and Ja Rule’s “Holla Holla”. And the icing on the cake — Mobb Deep released “Quiet Storm”. Nuff said!
The year 2000 brought us The Marshall Mathers LP. Great album indeed. But ask yourself, what song has been in rotation in the last 20 years with the likes of: OutKast’s “So Fresh & So Clean”, Ghostface Killah’s “Cherchez La Ghost”, M.O.P.’s “Ante Up”, Prodigy’s “Keep It Thoro”, or even Three 6 Mafia’s “Sippin On Some Sizzurp”? And I just heard Ludacris’ “What’s Yo Fantasy” last week. And you can’t forget this is the year Nelly debuted. I’ll add Big Tymers’ “Everybody Get Your Roll On” to that list too.
2001 is when JayZ released The Blueprint. Eminem’s verse on “Renegade” is one of those watershed moments along with Nas saying on “Ether” how JayZ got bodied by him that really began to crystalize public opinion, but it is the same record which the same is said of rapper Beanie Sigel. And that is just as debatable. Eminem released his group D12 in 2001 with Devil’s Night. It debuted #1 and went 2x platinum, the same year as Put Yo Hood Up by Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz, but despite the disparity in sales, you tell me which album has the most songs that have rang off the most in the hood (no pun intended)? 2001 also brought us Pain Is Love from Ja Rule, Stillmatic from Nas, and Word of Mouf by Ludacris
The Eminem Show dropped in 2002. Another fine project. Was it as innovative as N.E.R.D’s In Search Of…?But are there any songs that had the staying power in the hip hop community like State Property’s “Roc The Mic” (which features Beanie Sigel), or “Say I Yi Yi” from Ying Yang Twins? And this was the same year as ’03 Bonnie & Clyde with JayZ & Beyonce and Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz sparking the dawn of the crunk era with Kings of Crunk. Also, we can’t leave out Nelly’s Nellyville and Nas’ God’s Son. So not only did Eminem not have the definitive sound of the year but he also did not have either of the two songs which defined 2002. I submit to you: Clipse “Grindin’” and Missy Elliott “Work It”. But Eminem is the goat??
Now let’s juxtapose what we’ve learned so far with 50 Cent who put out the mixtapes Guess Who’s Back and 50 Cent Is The Future also in 2002. Keep in mind 50 Cent, born in 1975, was discovered by Jam Master Jay (rip) in 1996, had a deal with Columbia Records in 1999, and released his first mixtape Power Of The Dollar in 2000 with the song How To Rob. So in 2000, 50 Cent was already buzzing on the street way more than Eminem was before he came out. And Eminem was two albums in. 2002 is when Eminem not discovered by rather “Columbused” 50 Cent after he lost his deal in 2001 due to infamously being shot nine times. Eminem re-introduces him on the mixtape drop No Mercy, No Fear and simultaneously 8 Mile soundtrack in 2002 with the song “Wanksta”. “Wanksta” produced more anticipation for his debut Get Rich Or Die Trying in 2003 than Eminem did leading up to his. But Eminem is supposed to be the goat? And he’s often ranked over 50 Cent.
Eminem is from Michigan. The hip hop scene from 1995–1999 was pretty localized unlike today where you can be whoever from wherever and find an audience on social media and SoundCloud. How is it that one of “the goats” managed to not have any buzz in the Midwest prior to his debut? Common and Twista were three albums in, and although they have had moderately successful careers, they haven’t reached any of the sales as Eminem. 1994 Common dropped the seminal classic “I Used To Love H.E.R.” And by his 3rd album he had features from Lauryn Hill, Black Thought, Cee-Lo, De La Soul, Q-Tip, and Eminem’s former arch-rival Canibus. And yet we are led to believe that nobody was checking for an eventual goat until 1999? People talk about his mythical rap battles. But who did he beat?? Eminem lost in 1997 at the Rap Olympics to a rapper named Otherwize and at the ’97 Scribble Jam to MC J.U.I.C.E. So not only are the only known records of his battle rap days are L’s but they are against virtual nobodies (no disrespect). You’ve heard stories about the back in the day with the Juice Crew/Boogie Down Productions ‘Bridge Wars’, JayZ vs. Busta Rhymes in the cafeteria, etc. And we are supposed to believe that a goat like Eminem NEVER crossed paths with anyone notable until he really, really got on? Hip hop has often paralleled the NBA and when have you ever heard of a goat that nobody hooped with in the park, high school, or even seen on the block?
So aside from 50 Cent and eventually G-Unit in 2003, there were other people who dropped indelible hits: Freeway, Fabolous, T.I., Youngbloodz, DMX, JayZ, Ludacris, OuKast. But how is it that 50 Cent with the same Dr. Dre/Interscope engine can make better records than Eminem and his group G-Unit is vastly superior to Eminem’s D-12? So Eminem is a goat but has one of the WEAKEST crews in terms of skills and relevance to the culture: 50 Cent and G-Unit, JayZ’s State Property/Roc-La-Familia, 2Pac’s Outlawz, Outkast’s Dungeon Family, Nas’ Bravehearts, Cam’ron’s The Diplomats, Master P.’s No Limit, Birdman’s Big Tymers/Hot Boys, Ludacris’ DTP, you can just go on and on. You’re a goat but ain’t produce not one hit record except for “Purple Pills” and that ain’t even a banger?! Not one person from Eminem’s crew has had a hit record either. Yet when you look at all of the aforementioned, you can name one if not several from each who had respectable outings. Obie Trice wasn’t a superstar. Furthermore, when checking out Slaughterhouse, Royce da 5'9", Joe Budden, etc. were already doing their thing. And he was unable to take their careers to the next level despite his star power. Because as a implied from the beginning, his elevation is completely overstated. Rappers such as those in Slaughterhouse and Griselda gang are of a similar skill set and rhyme style but don’t get nearly the mainstream attention that Eminem has received.
Then 2004 rolls in and Eminem releases Encore. Now aside from the solo debuts from Young Buck and Lloyd Banks from G-Unit, this was the same year that Kanye West released The College Dropout. Nuff said!
In 2004, Eminem released another D12 group project with D12 World. Another 2x platinum album, which peaked #1. It even had higher first-week sales than Kanye if that makes any sense. However, what songs from that album can you name have been more popular than The Diplomats’ Diplomatic Immunity 2 and Lil Jon and The East Side Boyz’ Crunk Juice?
2005 is Eminem’s greatest hits album Curtain Call. Explain to me how it is 7x platinum yet Kanye West’s Late Registration is only 3x platinum. By this time Eminem was only 4 albums in. Are we supposed to believe that from 1999–2005 he had 4 projects better than 4 JayZ projects during that time?
Kanye West pretty much OWNED hip hop until Eminem returned in 2009 with Relapse. That 5 year run was way more impactful than any Eminem stretch from music releases to production to fashion. Also during this time you have the introduction of rappers like The Game (another G-Unit soldier), Rick Ross, Jeezy, and Gucci Mane. T.I. was becoming a staple. Lil Wayne was cementing his legacy. Lupe Fiasco, another rapper, highly touted for his lyricism, was doing his thing. 2009 was also the year “Swag Surfin’” came out. Nuff said!
Eminem puts out Recovery in 2010. Same year as Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and Drake’s Thank Me Later. Both albums which have had way more staying power than Eminem. “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled came out that year too. 2010 also saw the rise of Waka Flocka Flame with “O Let’s Do It” and “Hard In The Paint”. Eminem has yet to create such anthems for the culture but is supposed to be a goat??
So in 2011, Eminem drops the album Hell: The Sequel with Royce Da 5'9" as the duo Bad Meets Evil. Now the single “Lighters” from that album along with “I Need A Doctor” a song he did with Dr. Dre and Skylar Grey, both peaked at #4 on Billboard. “I Need A Doctor” is Dr. Dre’s second highest peaking song on the chart ever. Now who do you know that if you asked them to name their top 5 favorite Dr. Dre songs and that song is on their list? When was the last time your heard Lighters? These songs peaked higher than But 2011 is the year Tyler The Creator and Big Sean dropped their debut studio albums. Section 80 by Kendrick Lamar also came out in 2011. But one duo was the pulse of 2011, JayZ and Kanye West with Watch The Throne.
2012 is the year Kendrick Lamar officially arrived with Good Kid, M.A.A.D City. There really isn’t anything more that needs to be said after that. But you also have Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded from Nicki Minaj and 2 Chainz debuting as a solo act. Eminem didn’t come back on the scene until 2013 with Marshall Mathers LP 2. It had higher first-week sales than Nothing Was The Same by Drake, Magna Carta Holy Grail by JayZ, Yeezus from Kanye West, AND Born Sinner from J. Cole. How Sway?! It makes about as much sense as Macklemore winning Best Rap Album and Best New Artist and being nominated for Album of the Year in 2012 with The Heist. “Thrift Shop” was the equivalent of My Name Is… or The Real Slim Shady, a cool little bop but not hardly a hip hop classic in the least.
2013–2017 was Eminem’s longest hiatus not returning until the end of the year with Revival. And yet he was being nominated and oftentimes winning awards and accolades from the dominant society while his contemporaries were putting out quality product. Revival was the first album that you could argue was panned by critics although it still went gold and debuted at #1 on Billboard. DAMN from Kendrick Lamar and JayZ’s 4:44 were the talk of 2017.
2018 brings us to Eminem’s Kamikaze. Another album which debuted #1 and went platinum. It had more first-week sales than Invasion Of Privacy by Cardi B., KOD from J. Cole, and Culture II from Migos, but who has had more of an impact on the culture? In 2018 were more people talking about Eminem or Pusha T with Daytona?
Eminem was like a rap Weird Al Yankovic when he came on the scene who used crazy videos and shocking antics to propel his career. After the initial press run of his projects, real hip hop heads drop off really quickly and move on to that real shit. Jimmy Iovine and Interscope Records knew that with his talent, the street cred and music production of Dr. Dre, a great package could be sold to the masses. That otherwise would just be another “spherical-lyrical-miracle rappity rap” rapper. Where are the Eminem fans who champion other backpack, lyricist lounge rappers in the same regard?
The film 8 Mile has been romanticized into people thinking it was an autobiography. However, it was presented as “based on a true story” or as to say fictionalized for dramatic effect. One of the main purposes for doing so is that it allows Hollywood to embellish events and have “creative license”. Consequently, then people put all kinds of extras on Eminem’s rap battle career like he’s Rocky Balboa.
Eminem is supposed to be goat but when you look at his career he never went up against anyone except for women and pop stars. People put all these extras on Eminem but who has he defeated to be warrant such fear?
No one has been afraid of anyone ever in the history of rap but all of a sudden Eminem is above reproach? Nelly wasn’t afraid to respond to KRS-One. Common and Ice Cube went at it and Common had no problem going at Drake either. But Eminem’s resume of targets are: NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Insane Clown Posse, Britney Spears, Moby, Christina Aguilera, and Michael Jackson. Jermaine Dupri isn’t a rapper. Benzino respected in the hood but not top-tier. Is he even top 5 out of Boston? Are we giving him the crown because he went at Fred Durst of rap/rock group Limp Bizkit? Machine Gun Kelly is not a top-tier rapper either and he BARELY won. I would argue that he had the better bars but MGK had the better song, beat, and rollout. Even in the beef with Ja Rule, 50 Cent did most of the heavy lifting and dropped the finishing blow. Eminem stayed away from damn near all of 50 Cent’s beefs with real heavyweights like Lil Wayne and The Lox yet 50 is always putting on the cape for Eminem at slightest sign of trouble. Much respect to Lord Jamar but some would say that he Grand Puba was the best rapper in his group not him? However, on one of their top hits “Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down”, Grand Puba isn’t on it. Name one D-12 hit without Eminem. Notwithstanding the fact that Brand Nubian and Dead Prez are much more highly regarded in the pantheon of hip hop than D-12 has ever been. Canibus was probably the only lyrical challenge but he proved to be a choke artist and already took a L from LL Cool J. People are taking his side during the Nick Cannon beef but the facts are this began with Eminem again going after a popstar in Mariah Carey. Nick is supposed to defend the honor of his (ex)wife and the mother of his children. And the criticism he’s received is that he’s getting help from the Wild N’ Out cast?! Well Bizarre jumped out the window with lackluster diss records for Joe Budden and MGK. But even Uncle Luke from 2 Live Crew didn’t backdown from Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg with Cowards In Compton. Uncle Luke and Kid n’ Play even had beef at one point. 2Pac and De La Soul had issues back in the day as well. Eazy-E (who didn’t write his own rhymes), got help on “Real Muthaphuckkin G’s”. 2Pac had “Hit Em Up”, Ice Cube had “No Vaseline”, JayZ’s “Takeover”, Nas’ “Ether”, how is it that Eminem hasn’t made a classic diss record? Not even a legendary diss verse or battle along the lines of Lil Flip vs. T.I. or T.I. and Ludacris?
Gucci Mane dissed Eminem on a song with Mariah Carey entitled “Obsessed” and he threw shade at him in a radio interview, but Eminem has never addressed it. The goat wouldn’t and shouldn’t be taking any direspect from anyone especially your reputation is that you’re not the one to be messed with on the mic.
Prodigy (RIP) has battled more top-tier rappers and held his own than Eminem.
Eminem came at Tyler The Creator for criticizing his music. And while I would contend that Tyler isn’t a better MC than Em, is there any question that the style and innovation of Tyler and Odd Future has superceded that of Em of D-12?
Who did you know that wore Eminem’s brand, Shady Ltd./Shady Wear and what did they look like? And how does it stack up to other rapper clothing lines like Wu Wear, Apple Bottoms, State Property, or even Tyler’s Golf Wang?
How is it that Eminem is the goat but he’s the least sampled, least referenced goat? Not a beat, hook, or anything that’s been flipped or remixed? And he has the least amount of notable features. Now the “stans” will say it’s because they don’t want to be outshined but why hasn’t that stopped people from working with other greats?
So not only does Eminem have a classic diss record but he doesn’t have a classic street anthem, party record, song for the ladies, conscious rap, dance move, or any other prominent category. Of the goats, Eminem has the least noticeable impact in look, style, flow, voice, or slang. The people who have apparently patterned themselves after him are folks like G-Eazy, Hopsin, Joyner Lucas, Merkules, Yelawolf, and Logic. And I rest my case. If Eminem were black he would be Hopsin at worst and Redman or Busta Rhymes at best (much respect to them). Let him and Royce da 5'9" switch places.
Eminem takes liberty to reiterate this on the song “Fall”, but aside from being from Detroit, how has Eminem inspired Big Sean and Royce? That’s like saying JayZ, Mos Def, Big Daddy Kane, Sean Price and Fabolous gave us Tekashi69 because they’re all from Brooklyn. Em is the biggest rap artist from the entire state of Michigan. However, what Eminem song would you recommend someone hear to get that feel? Hip hop has always been very sonically regional in its essence. What Eminem song puts on for the city that makes you see and feel Detroit? There’s no Detroit references, slang, visuals, bridging of musical history (Motown, techno, etc.) Not even a “What Up Doe?!”. How did he avoid to not do any work with Slum Village or the legendary J. Dilla (RIP)??
There’s often been comparisons between Eminem and Elvis Presley. But I liken Em to martial arts star Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is one of the most successful martial arts stars ever but he is not a creator, innovator, nor master of any martial arts style. Yet he is quite larger than many of the originators. Like Norris, Eminem is quite proficient in various styles but he’s a master of none. And then created his own style (Chun Kuk Do), and put himself at the top. Eminem never shies away from crediting O.G.’s Kool G Rap, Naughty By Nature, Poor Righteous Teachers, etc. However, I think Em has a bit of a white savior complex of asserting his authority and dictating what is/is not real hip hop leaving black folks as just receptacles. Then getting upset when we reject it. Moreover, like Norris and his “Norris facts” or the “sniper skills”, Eminem has been mythologized and mysticized as a “Rap God”. No, I don’t think Eminem is a culture vulture or guilty of cultural appropriation . I think he could be a better cultural steward. Good stewardship being defined as “the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care”. I would consider people like Stretch Armstrong, DJ Muggs, Alchemist, and Steve Rifkind such exemplary custodians of the culture.
Ask yourself what exactly are Eminem’s top 5 songs? When and how often have you listened to them after they initial release? After the media machine of Viacom took it out of rotation on MTV’s networks and shows like TRL and subsequently, BET. And when do you put them in rotation at the club, barbershop, with your lady, hanging with the fellas, etc.? Then compare those top 5 songs to the top 5 of his contemporaries. Name your top 5 Eminem songs and see if it was the #1 rap song that year in the hip hop community.
One of the main talking points regarding Eminem being “the goat” is in regards to his record sales. This is rather moot when you after you consider the consumption of the dominant society, record sales, have never been solely indicative of the measure in which hip hop determines greatness as an MC. If that were the case, then rappers like Nelly, MC Hammer, Flo-Rida, Chingy, and Lil Nas X, should be on people’s top 10 list.
Likewise could be said of awards. Otherwise, who’s saying Young MC Coolio is top tier? DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince (Will Smith) won the first rap Grammy in 1989 but I would hardly consider that to be the best album of ’89 nor are they top 10 in duos/groups of all-time. Institutions primarily in the dominant society choose who to praise, credentialize, and reward including the categories of merit. Notorious B.I.G., 2Pac, Snoop Dogg, Nas, and Busta Rhymes are just a few who have NEVER been nominated for a Grammy. Just focusing on rap/hip hop categories, let’s break this down even further:
In 1999, Eminem won the MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop over Beastie Boys, Busta Rhymes, Puff Daddy, and Will Smith. (See #5)I’m confused about the nominees as well as him winning. Interesting in 1999, Eminem also won an MTV Music Award for Best New Artist “My Name Is…” but he was not nominated in neither the Best Rap Video nor Best Hip Hop video categories. Now in 2000, Eminem began winning awards regarding his video starting with two Billboard awards. Again, the outlandish videos were one of the things that has kept him in the minds of the public. Blockbuster (yeah that Blockbuster Video) decided to create their own awards from 1995–2001 and gave Eminem the award for Favorite Rap Artist in 2001. Go figure?! In 2001, the MTV Europe Music Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. D12 was nominated as well along with Missy Elliott, Outkast, and P. Diddy. D12?! You have to be kidding me! So not only throw in a June 2001 release into the mix with projects from the previous year, but they want you to believe that this was the best hip hop of 2000–01. (See #7)Eve with Scorpion was a better album than D12.
A German association of record companies puts on a ceremony of their own called the Echo Awards. Check out the link and see how preposterous the nominations were. I’m not going to go through ever single one but it was pretty much a foregone conclusion they would give him the award every year. Notwithstanding the fact that in 2001, Eminem won over Nelly’s Country Grammar. Now of course, Eminem is a better MC but if you’re talking about which album had the most hit records in the hip hop community, I’m going to have to say Nelly. Are we really saying in 2002, D12 Devil’s Night was a better album than Outkast Stankonia?! 2003 they gave it to The Eminem Show over Nellyville. Again check this discography and you tell me which has gotten more play over the years. 2005, the Echo Awards nominated D12 and Eminem AGAIN, for D12 World and Encore, respectively. And to add insult to injury, the Beastie Boys were nominated for To The 5 Boroughs. But not College Dropout?! The Echo Awards nominated Eminem for Curtain Call: The Hits in 2006 and 2007 (winning in 2007). So A F#KIN GREATEST HITS ALBUM that was released in 2005 was nominated TWICE and won Best Hip Hop over albums released the previous eligible year like T.I.’s King, Rick Ross’s Port Of Miami, and Lupe Fiasco’s Food & Liquor, but EVERYONE knows the best rap album of 2005 was Late Registration. Even Common’s Be was a smash! You’re awarding a greatest hits album over original content?! The only thing Eminem put out in 2006 was Eminem Presents: The Re-Up kanyeshrug After 2008, when Eminem stopped putting out records, they just disbanded the category altogether for the most part staying local except for 2011 when they awarded him AGAIN for Recovery. That is until 2014 awarding him yet again for MMLP2 over JayZ’s MC-HG. They also nominated Macklemore for The Heist, which was released in 2012, but skipped over Kanye and Cole which came out the actual review year (see #18). And after 2014, the Echo Awards were just like fuck it and stuck to only local German acts. This is a blueprint tho of how whenveer Eminem puts outs an album, he wins. And when he doesn’t the industry is just like meh whatever when it comes to rap/hip hop. (The coupe times 5o Cent don’t count because he’s under the Shady umbrella).
So staying in 2001, we get the Grammy Awards. Reflect and tell me what has stood the test of time:
Best Rap Album
The Marshall Mathers LP — Eminem …And Then There Was X — DMX Dr. Dre — 2001 — Dr. Dre Vol. 3… Life and Times of S. Carter — Jay-Z Country Grammar — Nelly
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group “Forgot About Dre” — Dr. Dre featuring Eminem “Alive” — Beastie Boys “Oooh.” — De La Soul featuring Redman “The Next Episode” — Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg “Big Pimpin’” — Jay-Z featuring UGK
Best Rap Solo Performance “The Real Slim Shady” — Eminem “The Light” — Common “Party Up (Up in Here)” — DMX “Shake Ya Ass” — Mystikal “Country Grammar” — Nelly
2001 the Japan Radio Popular Disc Awards named Best Male Vocalist. So vocalist we’re talking rapping, singing, or any musicality with the mouth and Eminem’s who’s voice and cadence has been the subject of ridicule for many years, is the winner?! Now Eminem winning the Juno Award for Best Selling Album in 2001 and 2003 does make sense. Again, Eminem being able to sell records, being internationally popular, or being a great rapper has never been in dispute. My argument is against Eminem being the goat. This is why without question he’s won several World Music Awards for Worlds Best Selling Rap/Hip Hop Artist.
The Billboard Awards has an inconsistent history of including and excluding rap categories at their whim. In 2002, they decided to combine Rap and R&B Album Of The Year into one category:
The Eminem Show Ashanti, Ashanti Nellyville, Nelly Word of Mouf, Ludacris
But what’s interesting is that year Eminem WAS NOT nominated for neither Rap Artist Of The Year nor R&B/Hip Hop Songs Artist Of The Year. Nelly was nominated for both and won the former. He also beat Eminem for Artist Of The Year and Male Artist Of The Year.
Similar to the ECHO Awards, the MOBO (Music Of Black Origin) Awards in the United Kingdom inconsistenly gave an award for Best Hip Hop Act. Primarily awarded to British acts, Eminem won in 2000. But in 2010 he won Best International Artist and there hip hop was relegated to only within the U.K.
The MTV Europe Awards kept up the fuckery in 2003–04 awarding Eminem Best Hip Hop Act over 50 Cent, Missy, JayZ, and Nelly. That’s cool I suppose. But explain in 2004 Best Hip-Hop Act. In a category that includes Kanye, Nelly, and JayZ, they nominate Beastie Boys and awarded D12. AGAIN we are talking BEASTIE BOYS BEING NOMINATED AND D12 WINNING BEST HIP HOP IN 2004. How Sway?!
The 2005–06 American Music Awards were another contrived example of people not from the culture credentializing who’s the best. Will Smith (The Fresh Prince) won Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist in a category with 50 Cent. Neither of whom would say they do neither pop nor rock music. However, 50 Cent was also nominated for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Male Artist along with Ludacris, both losing out to Eminem. I would contend that Eminem makes rap for more of a pop audience than 50. Eminem also won for Favorite Rap Album for Encore over 50 Cent’s The Massacre and T.I.’s Urban Legend. What’s interesting is that they skipped over the 2004 release of College Dropout for the 2005 outing of 50 Cent. In 2006 for Favorite Rap Album the nominees were: The Black Eyed Peas, T.I. for King, and Eminem for Curtain Call. The Black Eyed Peas won rap album in 2005 (including favorite pop album) and 2006. They also won Favorite Rap Group over Dem Franchize Boyz and Three 6 Mafia. Name one Black Eyed Peas song that has impacted the culture like Lean Wit’ It? Not only NOBODY from the culture checking for The Black Eyed Peas like that but they nominated a damn greatest hits album over original work just like the Echo Awards did. Eminem also won Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist over Kanye and T.I.
2005 also saw Eminem win Teen Choice Awards for Best Rap Artist and Best Rap Song for Mockingbird. What 15 year olds in 2005 were bumpin this that you know?!
2008 VIBE Magazine again helped crystalize public opinion by creating an online bracket-style tournament naming him the Best Rapper Alive. This is how you manufacture public consent
2010 won an American Music Award for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Artist and Album over B.o.B. and Drake. Neither Kanye nor Nicki Minaj were nominated. At the Grammy Awards, explain this.
Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group: “Crack A Bottle” — Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent “Too Many Rappers” — Beastie Boys & Nas “Money Goes, Honey Stay” — Fabolous & Jay-Z “Make Her Say” — Kid Cudi, Kanye West & Common “Amazing” — Kanye West & Young Jeezy
When was the last time you heard or even would want to listen to Crack A Bottle over Make Her Say or Amazing?! Then look at Best Rap Album:
Relapse — Eminem Universal Mind Control — Common R.O.O.T.S. — Flo Rida The Ecstatic — Mos Def The Renaissance — Q-Tip
First off, Flo-Rida is hot garbage! Second, Q-Tip and Common’s albums were released in 2008. So if you’re reaching back to ’08, then you have to include Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak, T.I.’s Paper Trail, and Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III. I’d put Shawty Lo’s Units In The City and Soulja Boy’s iSouljaBoyTellEm up there. Dey Know and Turn My Swag On had a bigger impact on the culture than anything off of Relaps. And ’09 you’re neglected JayZ’s The Blueprint 3.
2010 also saw Eminem win a MTV Europe Music Award for Best Hip Hop Act over Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, T.I., and Kanye West. And at the Teen Choice Awards, Eminem won Best Rap Artist, Rap Album, and Rap Song for “Love The Way You Lie”. I don’t know what teenagers they were polling but I can take a guess. The Soul Train Awards wanted you to believe that “Love The Way You Lie” was the Best Rap Song of 2010 as well. And at the People’s Choice Awards, Eminem won Favorite Hip Hop Artist over Flo Rida, JayZ, Lil Wayne, and T.I. But again as we reflect back, tell me who and what sound was running hip hop 2008–2010.
So the 2011 Billboard Awards roll around and Eminem wins Top Rap Artist over Drake, Lil Wayne, Ludacris, and Nicki Minaj. Hmm, I guess. Then he gets Top Rap Album for Recovery over:
Thank Me Later — Drake Pink Friday — Nicki Minaj I Am Not a Human Being — Lil Wayne My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy — Kanye West Help me make sense of it!
Then again at the MTV Europe Awards, Eminem won Best Hip Hop. And once more they conflated 2010 releases with 2011. So the nominees included Snoop Dogg and Pitbull who dropped in 2010 and Lil Wayne and JayZ/Kanye West from 2011. This is JayZ/Kanye West as Watch The Throne. But we’re to believe that Eminem’s Recovery was running the rap world more than Watch The Throne.
And at the 2011 People’s Choice Awards, Eminem was given the award over Drake, Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Ludacris. Eminem beat Drake who put out Thank Me Later and Take Care, back to back?! Same year at the Teen Choice Awards, he beat out Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull. 2012 People’s Choice gave it to him again over B.o.B., Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, and Pitbull.
MTV Europe Awards back with the bullshit in 2013 giving Eminem the Best Hip Hop Award over Jay-Z, Drake, Kanye West, and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Even though Macklemore is wack AF, still gotta concede that “Thrift Shop” was a bigger record than Eminem’s 2012–13 output.
2014 at the American Music Awards, Eminem was nominated with Drake but didn’t win. Iggy Azalea incomprehensibly won! 2014 Billboard Awards was a complete sham. Eminem won Top Rap Artist and Top Rap Album over Drake, Pitbull, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and Jay-Z. The nominees fot Top Rap Song was even more outrageous. “Can’t Hold Us” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Ray Dalton beat out:
“The Monster” — Eminem ft. Rihanna “Holy Grail” — Jay-Z ft. Justin Timberlake “Thrift Shop” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz “Timber” — Pitbull ft. Kesha “Started From The Bottom” by Drake didn’t even make the cut.
At the 2015 Grammy’s, Eminem won Best Rap/Sung Collaboration for “The Monster” over ILoveMakonnen’s “Tuesday”. Doesn’t make sense. And although it wasn’t nominated, this is the same year as Chris Brown “Loyal”. And Best Rap Album was in complete shambles from the artists chosen to the consistency of the releases:
The Marshall Mathers LP 2 — Eminem The New Classic — Iggy Azalea Because the Internet — Childish Gambino Nobody’s Smiling — Common Oxymoron — ScHoolboy Q Blacc Hollywood — Wiz Khalifa
2017 MTV Europe Awards awarded Eminem yet again for Best Hip Hop in the same category as Drake, Future, Kendrick Lamar, and Post Malone. I could even see Post Malone winning but Eminem?! And this is following the same year as “Hotline Bling” from Drake. Eminem but no J. Cole 4 Your Eyez Only?! Eminem but no Kanye The Life Of Pablo. Eminem but no Travis Scott Birds In The Trap Sing Midnight?! EMINEM but no Chance The Rapper Coloring Book. Make it make sense! Those are all 2016 releases. Eminem didn’t drop until 2017 with Revival. So then you’re talking Kendrick’s DAMN, Drake’s More Life, Rapsody’s Laila’s Wisdom, Jay-Z’s 4:44, and Vince Staple’s Big Fish Theory among others. MTV Europe Awards even had the audacity to nominate him again in 2018 this time along with Travis Scott, Drake, and the Migos. Fortunately, his lost out to Nicki Minaj.
These award shows create the machinations of validity the lens of the mainstream society. Even when rappers like 2Pac, Snoop, JayZ, Missy Elliott, DMX, etc. crossover, the favorite songs of the mainstream vary quite differently than the favorites of those from within the culture.
And now in 2021, we are already dealing with the propaganda from Eminem’s latest outing Music To Be Murdered By Side A and Side B. He’s already been certified gold and outsold artists like Roddy Ricch and DaBaby who dropped end of 2019. And like his previous projects, it debuted #1 on Billboard, but has an immediate drop off in terms of word of mouth after the first week, and it has ZERO hit songs that resonate in the streets. Once again proving that record sales don’t always equate to moving the culture.
What does it profit black people to create, when others receive the lionshare of the accolades and profits? There’s a system which enabled Elvis to co-opt and supplant Chuck Berry and Rosetta Tharpe. There’s a system which put out the images on television. Moreover, who determined and changed the trajectory of hip hop from its Afrocentric roots to violence, materialism, sex, and drugs?
The historical lack of black toys, superheroes, and action figures was by design. So the question is as Eminem ends the “Pespective” skit, how has he made a difference? In conclusion, I have to reiterate that none of this is to say that Eminem isn’t a great MC and an amazing lyricist. Again, I’m just saying he is not The GOAT.
Source: https://medium.com/@russelllawrencebenford/why-eminem-is-still-not-the-greatest-rapper-of-all-time-6bd14eead52d

I just wanted to talk about Dipset & bring attention to some of the worlds biggest influencers & innovators in music/ rap/ hip-hop history. Their music is literally a nostalgic walk for me. Every time I play a song whether it be Cam’ron (Killa), Jim Jones (Capo), Juelz Santana, Hell Rell, 40 Cal, J.R. Writer, etc etc. I go back to a specific time, date, place. Killa was single handily responsible for everyone rocking pink (purple as well). He made it cool to be different & to be extremely confident in yourself. Juelz had the signature bandana (mostly red) & Jim Jones brought the concept of slimming down your clothes to the mainstream America. They’re why rappers like Lil’ Wayne became fashion icons, which in-turn spawned this whole wave of “fashionistas”. They brought to the light Max B aka The Silver Surfer, who in-turn made rapping with a melodic twist popular & made words like “Wave”, “Wavy”, “Oww” popular amongst the hip-hop community. Artist like Stack Bundles (R.I.P.) who gave the world the “Rockstar” lifestyle. They coined words like “Poppington” “Flee” & “Curve”, phrases like “Movements”, “No Homo” & “Pause”. They’re also the reason why artist came out with mixtapes & instead of being on DJ’s mixtapes. Members even branched out to form other groups such as Byrdgang, Skull Gang, Thunda Byrds, Top Gunnas, Skeem Team, etc. The Diplomats (Dipset) brought a different & unique style to the forefront of hip-hop. Alongside producers like The Heatmakerz, Araabmuzik, ADM Beatz, Kanye West, Just Blaze, A-Trak, & many more they used heavy samples in their music & it became a sort of calling card that is now considered the “Dipset sound”. Sampling acts like Sam Cooke, Marvin Gaye, Billy Joel, & a sleuth of soulful artist & at times rock bands from songs that were either very popular or songs that people from my generation probably never even heard of. Cam’ron was the flashy rapper who would tell you how much his jewelry was worth in a way that you had to catch on with his “nursery rhyme” style that was mostly complex, while Juelz was the more conscious one who in his early Dipset work would talk about Ground Zero & 9/11 with a passion & Jim was the more spiritual type who talked about the struggles of a drug dealer while still maintaining the church values that his grandmother (Sally) instilled in him. Even with their different styles & topics, they still managed to put it all together in a way that wasn’t generic. Every collaborate song was natural. Take for example “I’m Ready” or “Built This City” or “Ground Zero”, they each talk about different things while splashing it all together to make those incredible/ unforgettable records. Their mixtapes, albums, projects were highly anticipated. I’d get hype when I heard Killa, Juelz or Capo talk about what upcoming projects to look forward to while they hosted a mixtape or spoke on the ending of a song. It was a thing to wait for the next Diplomats mixtape/ album & their individual efforts & they never disappointed. Projects like “Diplomatic Immunity” & The Diplomat mixtape series became instant classics. Cam’ron is responsible for a lot of careers taking off on & off the mic. He was a natural leader, in the sense that, he would let his team go in the frontline & used his star-power to catapult his teammates. In instances where a group leader would hog the shine he would step back & let his team take control. That’s why I called him a leader & not a boss. Yes he had his boss status, but when it came to The Diplomats he was a great leader who lead his team to the peak of the mountain. Without Cam’ron there would be no Dipset, & without Dipset there would be no me & others who were shaped & raised by the Dipset conglomerate. They became a super group out of the mean streets of Harlem/ Bronx, NY & shaped a generation of rappers. Kids would literally dress like them, talk like them with their unique slang & basically rapped like them if they were into rapping (me being one of them). They made throwback jerseys, custom-made Timberlands & airbrushed Air Forces a dress code for the youth. They inspired artist to go independent & make your wealth without the big machines of the industry behind them. The Diplomats (Dipset) brought a different & unique style to the forefront of hip-hop. There are many legendary groups like Wu-Tang Clan, N.W.A., etc etc. but The Diplomats stand in a lane of their own. While other New York artist & groups stood in their musical pockets, Dipset embraced other regions like down south, the Midwest & west side with songs like “Crunk Muzik”, “Used To Get In Ohio” & “Certified Gangsta”. They collaborated with artist from these regions like the well known Twista, Ludacris, UGK, & other not so known artist at the time like T.I., Lil’ Flip & The Game. Created a popular drink called “Sizzurp” that rivaled Alizé & Hypnotic. They revamped songs like Masters P’s “Bout It, Bout It” & Three 6 Mafia’s “Sippin’ On Some Syrup” while featuring the original acts of the songs. Paid homage to rap/ hip-hop legends & other regions with songs like “Dopeman” & “Cali Love”. They were admired by younger rappers like Chief Keef & Lil’ Yachty & also by rappers like Young Jeezy & 2Chainz who are from their generation of music. They bridged the gaps between regions, put rappers from other parts of America on the New York map, & even brought over a U.K. rap group known as S.A.S. Songs like “Who Am I” would have you sitting in a four cornered room thinking about life, while songs like “Around My Way” gave you a theme song if you was out there hustling on a cold chilly night in the early 2000’s. Songs like “I Really Mean It” would have you stepping out the house in your flyest outfit, while “Suck It Or Not” would have you in the club eyeing the next bird-brain to take down. Hell Rell’s “Life In The Ghetto” gave you a vivid first hand POV into what life in the ghetto can be like. They had catchy music for the ringtone era. Vivid music for those who want to see “the life” like they’re in a zoo & ignorant music for when you just feel like being a ignorant bastard. Musically, there was nothing that Dipset couldn’t do or did. They touched points that many artist at the time weren’t touching & had the rhyme schemes & wordplay to go with it. & if you weren’t satisfied with the core members you had artist like J.R. Writer who was a punchline god, while 40 Cal was metaphorically divine & Hell Rell packing an incredible punch with his lyrical abilities. Then came Byrdgang. A branch group formed by Jim Jones that was born from the same tree as Dipset. With artist in the roster like Max B, Stack Bundles & Mel Matrix (Mel Murda) it was a match made in the Dipset eagles sky. They were the closest thing the magic that is Dipset & could’ve probably been bigger than Dipset had it not been for the untimely death of Far-rocks Rockstar, Mr. Seymour Cake himself Stack Bundles & the incarceration of The Silver Surfer, Max B. Dipset spawned a lot of great artist, who in turn came out with a bunch of great timeless music pieces of art. I remember hearing Cam’ron for the first time thanks to a Mexican friend I had, when he dropped “Come Home With Me” & being blown away by the melodic sound of “Oh Boy”. I borrowed that CD to the point my friend had to ask for it back. & when I did give it back I went & bought it myself & had it in heavy rotation in my blue Walkman. Moments like when Killa & Dame Dash went on the Bill O’Riley show & made a mockery out of him while Killa was saying “you mad” & pointing at him like a 7 year old child would. Listening & watching freestyle’s like the Rap City joint when Killa was rocking the pink Coogi & bucket hat, with the oversized earrings rapping about his AK being his Aka before his ABC’s while counting stacks of cash, or the 17 minute one-take freestyle on Hot97 that previewed songs like “We Hate Them” & “Go Flip A Pack”. Buying random DJ mixtapes & hearing some of the craziest freestyles I’ve ever heard. Then watching them during the DVD era in DVD’s like SMACK & Cocaine City. Killa became one of the worlds best memes thanks to the movie “Paid In Full” with quotes such as “niggaz get shot everyday B! You’ll be aight. You tough right?”. Even Katt Williams standup show “The Pimp Chronicles” was a direct cause of Killa & Dipset. & for these reasons that I pointed out they are cemented in hip-hop stone as one of the greatest movements in the world of music. Like they loved to say, “it’s more than music, it’s a movement you need to be in-tune with”. One of the greatest quotes I’ve ever read came from the thank you’s of the Diplomatic Immunity album booklet & it came from Jim Jones since he wrote the thank you’s. “A bond that is a broken is a bond that was never there”. Dipset was & is more than just a rap music group to me, they were & are a way of life. Songs like Juelz Santana’s “The Hood Is Back”, Killa’s “Killa Cam” & Capo’s “Only One Way Up” will forever be close to my heart. I’ve dedicated songs to my wife like “DayDreaming” & “Hey Ma Pt.3” because of the content & lyrics. Unfortunately, I don’t have a time machine to go back & relive those special, precious times, but thankfully, their music is timeless & like I said previously, I can just listen to the music & go back into time, but I’m definitely glad to see that Dipset is still standing strong today. & unlike many acts from the early to mid 2000’s they are still making a great living & music, & still rolling strong after decades. Their musical efforts are a piece of musical history. Their music/ product cannot be duplicated or recreated. & because of that I can truly say there will never be another group/ entity/ movement like theirs. Even their logo is an incredible piece of art. The Dipset bird will forever fly high in my book. & with that being said, it’s Dipset 4LIFE‼️ Dipset bitch! Thank you Killa, Capo & Juelz for everything you’ve done for us fans of your music. We, the real day one fans appreciate you all to the fullest.
Projects you should go back & listen right tf now! disclaimer These projects are my personal preference
The Diplomats:
Diplomats Vol. 1, Diplomats Vol. 2, Diplomats Vol. 3, Diplomats Vol. 4, Diplomats Vol. 5, Diplomatic Immunity 1 (Disc 1 & 2), Diplomatic Immunity 2, The Diplomats: Sippin’ On Sizzurp Vol. 1, Dipset: More Than Music, Vol. 1, Dipset: More Than Music, Vol. 2, Dipset: The Movement Moves On, Dipset/ Byrdgang Vol. 1 & 2, Memorial Day Mixtape, Dipset Byrdgang: 3 Kings, The Owners Manual, Diplomatic Ties, Who Else But Us, The Title Stays In Harlem
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Cam’ron:
S.D.E. (Sports, Drugs & Entertainment), Come Home With Me, Purple Haze, Killa Season, Public Enemy #1, Gunz & Butta (w/ Vado), Boss Of All Bosses Vol. 1, Boss Of All Bosses Vol. 2, Boss Of All Bosses Vol. 2.5, Boss Of All Bosses Vol. 2.8, Boss Of All Bosses Vol. 3, Crime Pays, Purple Haze 2, Heat In Here Vol. 1, Ghetto Heaven Vol. 1, The Program
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Juelz Santana:
From Me To U, Final Destination, What The Games Been Missing!, Back Like Cooked Crack, Back Like Cooked Crack 2, Back Like Cooked Crack 3, God Will’n, Blow (I Can’t Feel My Face) (w/ Lil’ Wayne),

FREESANTANA

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Jim Jones:
On My Way To Church, Ambitionz Of A Gangsta, Ryder Musik, City Of God, Harlem: Diary Of A Summer, M.O.B. Members Of Byrdgang, A Dipset Xmas, Hustlers P.O.M.E (Product Of My Environment), The Seven Day Theory, Harlem’s American Gangster, The Ghost Of Rich Porter, Vampire Life: We Own The Night, The Kitchen, Wasted Talent, El Capo, El Capo (Deluxe)
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Freekey Zekey:
Book Of Ezekiel, Blame It On The Henny
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Hell Rell:
Streets Wanna Know, For The Hell Of It, New Gun In Town, Eat With Me Or Eat A Box Of Bullets, Year Of The Gun (w/ 40 Cal), Black Mask Black Gloves, Hard As Hell
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J.R. Writer:
Writers Block Vol. 1, Writers Block Vol. 2, Writers Block Vol. 3, History In The Making, Cinecrack, Politics & Bullshit, I Really Rap, Meet Zues, The Upstage (w/ Hell Rell & 40 Cal)
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40 Cal:
Trigger Happy, Broken Safety, Broken Safety 2, 40 To Life, Trigger Happy 2, Mooga, The Yellow Tape
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(Other Dipset/ The Diplomats acts/ artist)
Purple City:
Matrix 2: Reloaded Vol. 4, The Need For Weed, Road To Riches, Candy Land, The Purple Album, Home Of Da Haze
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Shiest Bub:
The Incredible Piff, Summer Grind
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Stack Bundles:
My Life’s Like A Movie, Raps Makeover Volume One, Biddin Wars (Raps Makeover Volume 02), Legends Never Die, Salute Me (The Lost Tapes)
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Mel Matrix: (aka Mel Murda)
Red Apples Falling,
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A-Mafia:
Harlem To Hollywood, Mafia’s Town, Mafia’s Town 2, My Side Of The Story, Under The Scope
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Max B:
Public Domain (Million Dollar Baby Radio), Million Dollar Baby, Public Domain (The Prequel), Domain Diego, Million Dollar Baby 2, Million Dollar Baby 2.5, Wavie Crockett, Public Domain 3, Million Dollar Baby 3, Vigilante Season, Coke Wave (w/ French Montana), Coke Wave 2 (w/ French Montana)
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Chubbie Baby:
Chubbie Baby Vol. 1
———————————————————————- Tom Gist:
From Scratch, Chapter II: Thinking Out Loud
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Vado:
Slime Flu, Polos & Rugby, Polo Sport, Slime Flu 2, Slime Flu 3, Sinatra 2
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Jay Bezel:
The Philadelphia Beast, The Philadelphia Beast Vol. 2
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S.A.S:
Who Dares Win
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We Were
Sitting on the plushest couch,
smoking joints to pass the time,
comatose, the three of us,
remained atop our leather cloud.
Tethered to the tele, that screen
had but one story,
the horror kept developing
Like weather every morning, how
with precision and no warning,
the creatures were released.
.
"From what is known
we think they’re clones
of cannibals, they crave flesh,"
.
and don’t you know,
the epidemic grows and grows,
Snowballing, end over end,
While the legislative trend
Begins to shrivel as it's driven
In upon itself to make decisions
on a Life or Death Threat.
.
Stupidity tried to make a civil resolve,
But sending out political diplomats to barter
just extended the reach of the disease’s sprawl.
Weekend warriors in the coast guard
were the next to fall, within a week
Our leaders were directing a retreat,
.
"Good people of this great country,
We are faced with the greatest adversity
Ever seen in our history, A blind Enemy
That cares not about allegiance.
Please remain in the safety
Of your homes, until further notice,
These clones are dangerously contagious
Remain strong, Vigilance is not advised,
I repeat vigilance is not advised,
Lock your doors and conserve your resources..."
.
It was a call some had envisioned,
hypothetically;
Projected fears of fallout woe,
Suspecting monstrous men to raise from the grave,
but never, ever, expected to get
These crimson scenes of gore injected
and imprinted to our memories.
For once,
The tele censored nothing.
.
The shock was not ephemeral,
Mom and Pop left five days ago
To see if they could spot a safer location
Where we could go, hole up
And hide for a few days. . .
.
They might have found one,
But my money's put down
on the chance they drowned
In that sea of Crazies.
.
Responsibility augmented upon me so quickly,
A fifteen year old, face peppered with pimples,
Frame lanky, frail, pale skinned, In a panic
I called my friends, Amigos Joseph and Mary
No relation, I swear, The sweetest, smartest
Stoners in the area, a few years older than me,
Joseph was my lab partner in the local college community,
We hit it off and lost sight of age lines.
They were the only two I could trust,
SO I called em up, offered them shelter
in my peaceful abode, with enough food for a few weeks
and they sprang at the opportunity,
Commuting stealthily, avoiding police,
Evading the crazies, their arrival brought more pain
Than I asked for, But I didn't complain, I had to comply
Had to survive, through my worst fear; Dying.
So, We got to work quick, cut-throat, defiant.
.
After boarding up the windows and
Barricading doors, A fortress now,
Is this three bed home,
protection from the danger zone.
A moment of silence, to bask in our safety. . .
.
Joseph and Mary brought a full pound
of that THC blessed leaf.
Vicodin and Morphine were abundant
My mother couldn't sleep and my father
Broke his back doing Contract construction.
.
I popped one of each, While the other two Ground
the weeds to a soft, seedless lump, Storing the keef
To Brick up, when there's no more green, it'll be about
Time for another plan to seek. For now, we don't bother,
Toking to laugh and think back to before the destruction.
.
We’re still scared even after thinking it through,
This world seems beyond any limit of Cruel,
How could someone do what they did on the 25th,
of December, 2017. The creatures were released
into the crowd surrounding Macy’s, up north
in New York, simultaneously, In San Francisco,
LA, Miami, Kansas City, Chicago, Houston, Dallas.
An unknown army caused such chaos,
the television had one story.
.
We watched as
The catastrophe swelled like a wound
with endless flows of human juice
expanding the elastic skin to burst;
first came reports o’ raids and riots all without order,
Then Vigilantes Made a play to stake out the source,
And families disappeared in search of something safer. . .
the span kept spreading like a spill,
soon maps were stained with Danger Red,
our house about to be enveloped in it-
But worry we don’t, we know the rules,
Keep quiet and stay out of sight,
there’s not a chance we lose.
.
And I'm losing my head to spinning sensations,
Elated off drugs I never would have taken, I hear
.
A Banging on the door!
Who’s Banging on the door?
I pass off the doob and swiftly shift
my position to the blinds,
scanning outside,
this neighborhood is full of ghosts,
not a single home left has a host,
except for one, and In it,
looking out, I see nothing.
THEN A THUMPING
At the front door,
alluring every nerve in me,
blood vessels push electrically,
and my body –FREEZE- s.
Over my shoulder I shoot a look of worry,
My partners In hiding now shook themselves
and scurried to my side, a triplicate of wary eyes,
scanning the outside, quietly, No words to say,
Remember, Keep quiet. Out of sight we aim to be,
but then comes another THUMPING,
My left side shifted, as my amigo deftly
drifted to the door, Exploring the chances of the door,
on the other end the
THUMPING started dissipating power,
Losing steam, I had a craving for a cold shower,
Turned my back, walking up the stairs to the bathroom
I overheard The thumping turn to rustling,
fingernails for sure, scratching at the base,
I make no haste,
After cooling my jets I assume my place
back in front of My best friend,
The television,
light another joint,
now I’m sippin full that mental ointment,
sittin back, and trying to enjoy the
forgetting of the siblings I locked out.