[Eöl] shunned the Noldor, holding them to blame for the return to Morgoth, to trouble the quiet of Beleriand; but for the Dwarves he had more liking than any other of the Elvenfolk of old.
Welcome one and all again to the 2024 Read-Along and Discussion of The Silmarillion here on tolkienfans. For Week 20 (May 12-May 18), we will be exploring The Quenta Silmarillion (The History of the Silmarils) chapter 16, "Of Maeglin."
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Aredhel, the daughter of Fingolfin, resided awhile in Nevrast with her brother Turgon, but later went with her people to dwell in the hidden city of Gondolin. However, she soon wearied of her hidden life in Gondolin and was permitted to set out purportedly to visit with Fingon in Hithlum with three lords of the household of Turgon. Upon reaching the Ford of Brithiach, she commanded her companions to instead turn south in the hope of passing through Doriath to eventually find the Sons of Fëanor, "her friends of old".
Upon arriving at the borders of Doriath, they were refused entry by King Thingol. And so Aredhel and her companions instead sought the dangerous route between the haunted valley of Ered Gorgoroth and the northern edge of Doriath. This passed through the land of Nan Dungortheb, where Aredhel was separated from her companions. They searched but could not find her, and barely escaping death themselves returned to Gondolin to share their tale, and there was great sorrow at the assumed fate of Aredhel.
But Aredhel, having lost her companions, continued on and eventually arrived in Himlad, where she was welcomed by the people of Celegorm and waited for his return. There for a while she was satisfied, but as the year lengthened, she took to riding further afield, seeking new and unknown paths and fields. By chance, she crossed into the forest of Nan Elmoth, where dwelt Eöl, who was named the Dark Elf. In earlier days, he was of the kin of Thingol, but he had left Doriath and fled to the shadows of Nan Elmoth. He loved not the Noldor, but learned from the Dwarves much skill of metalwork, and was often a guest to the halls of Nogrod and Belegost. He espied Aredhel from afar and desired her, and ensnared her in enchantments so she could not find the way out, but instead came deeper into Nan Elmoth. Being weary, she finally came to the halls of Eöl, and he welcomed her, and took her for his wife, and it was a long time before any of her kin heard rumour of her again.
Though at Eöl's command she was required to shun sunlight, it is not said that she was completely unwilling to their union, and in the darkness of Nan Elmoth was born their son, who, in her heart, she named Lómion, which means "Child of the Twilight" in Quenya. But Eöl gave him no name until he was twelve years old, at which time he named him Maeglin, that is "Sharp Glance".
As Maeglin grew to full maturity, he resembled, in face and form, one of the Noldor. But speaking few words, except in matters important to him, he resembled his father in mood and spirit. Often he went with Eöl to the cities of the Dwarves, and learned much from them, especially the craft of finding ores and metals in the mountains. Yet he loved his mother more and would often listen to her tales regarding the Noldor, and the valour of the House of Fingolfin, while Eöl was abroad.
In speaking of her kin to Maeglin, Aredhel desired to see them again, and these tales stirred also in Maeglin the desire to see the Noldor. But upon revealing his inner wishes to Eöl, his father became infuriated, and threatened to bind his son if he would associate with the Noldor. Maeglin became cold and silent, and no longer went abroad with Eöl, and Eöl mistrusted him. One midsummer, Eöl went away to a feast in Nogrod. During this time, the desire grew hot in the heart of Maeglin to leave Nan Elmoth and look upon his mother's people and to seek the city of Gondolin. Seeing this, Aredhel was glad and they departed, telling Eöl's servants they sought the sons of Fëanor.
However, Eöl returned earlier than anticipated and found his wife and son two days gone. He set out immediately in wrathful pursuit. On entering Himlad, Eöl was ambushed by the riders of Curufin, and was taken to their lord. Curufin mockingly asked Eöl what urgent matter brought him to his land, and Eöl told him that he wanted to join his wife and son on their visit to him. Upon learning from Curufin that they turned westward, travelling along the northern fence of Doriath, Eöl asked leave to discover their purpose. Curufin instead coldly bid him go back to Nan Elmoth.
Thus Eöl rode off in haste, full of shame and anger. He perceived that Aredhel and Maeglin were heading towards Gondolin and rode after them. As the two arrived at the Outer Gate of Gondolin, they were received joyfully and passed inside the Hidden Kingdom, where Turgon listened with wonder to the story of his sister, and gave Maeglin the highest honour in his realm. Eöl watched them from afar and followed them to the city, but was taken in by the Guard, and was brought before Turgon after claiming to be husband and father to Aredhel and Maeglin. Aredhel confirmed this and Turgon welcomed Eöl as his kinsman, giving him leave to stay in Gondolin. But Eöl insulted the King, and bid Maeglin to "leave the House of the slayers of his kin, or be accursed". Maeglin did not answer.
Turgon then set a choice before Eöl and Maeglin of either abiding in Gondolin, or dying in Gondolin. Eöl stood a long time in silence, before he abruptly took a spear from under his cloak and threw it at Maeglin, crying "the second choice I take, and for my son also! You shall not hold what is mine!" But Aredhel came between the spear and Maeglin, and was struck. Eöl was restrained, set in bonds and led away. However the tip of the spear was poisoned, and Aredhel died in the night. Eöl was brought before Turgon and no mercy was shown to him; he was led to the Caragdûr, a precipice upon the northern side of the city, to be cast down. Maeglin stood by in silence, and Eöl cried out "so you forsake your father and his kin, ill-gotten son! Here shall you fail of all your hopes and here may you yet die the same death as I". And he was cast over the cliff-edge. Thus ended Eöl, Dark Elf, of the shadows of Nan Elmoth.
Maeglin grew great in stature in Gondolin, and was high in the favour of Turgon. He rose to be mighty amongst the Princes of the Noldor, and was the greatest other than Turgon in the realm of Gondolin. And yet not all things went as he would have liked, though he did not reveal his heart. For from his first days in Gondolin, he loved Idril Celebrindal, his first cousin, and desired her, but without hope. For the Eldar did not wed with kin so close, and further, Idril loved him not at all. Maeglin's love turned to darkness, and he sought more to have his will in all matters, no matter the cost to him, if it might grant him more power.
And so it came to be that in Gondolin, at the height of all its bliss, majesty, and beauty, a dark seed of evil was sown in the heart of Maeglin.[1]
Of Maeglin at The Lord of the Rings Wiki: This chapter introduces Maeglin, and his father Eöl, and tells the history of Maeglin's life from his birth to his becoming a citizen of Gondolin. Also in this chapter is the death of Eöl.
Chapter discussion at Entmoot TolkienTrail.
Chapter discussion at The Barrow-Downs.
Questions for the week:

1. Eöl is described as grim -- "his eyes could see deep into shadows and dark places." Does this just mean his eyes have adjusted to life in the dark, or is there also a hint of his being able to see beyond what is there, in a "foresight" or "farsighted" kind of way?
2. Maeglin and Eöl argue because Eöl won't let him see his mother's kin which causes a major rift between the two. Why did Eöl object?
3. What is significant of Maeglin's given name of Lomion, i.e. "Child of the Twilight" by his mother, Aredhel, but at age 12, Eöl named him Maeglin, i.e. "Sharp Glance".
4. Why did Eöl have more liking for the Dwarves "than any other of the Elvenfolk of old."?

For drafts and history of this chapter see The War of the Jewels, "Part Three: The Wanderings of Húrin and other Writings not forming part of The Quenta Silmarillion", Chapter III, "Maeglin)", pp. 316-339.
For further history and analysis of this chapter, see Arda Reconstructed (by Douglas Charles Kane), p. 155.
Be sure to have your copy of The Atlas of Middle-earth by Karen Wynn Fonstad on hand as you go through this chapter.
Some Tolkien-related hangouts on YouTube (relevant to this week):

• Nerd of the Rings This episode: Maps of Middle-earth: The First Age The Silmarillion Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: The Origins of Melkor Tolkien Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: The History of Morgoth [COMPILATION] Tolkien Explained
• Nerd of the Rings This episode: Eöl the Dark Elf Tolkien Explained
• Tolkien Untangled This episode: The Return of the Noldor Of the Lords of Beleriand : Silmarillion Explained - Part 2 of 10
• Ælfwine's Road This episode: Silmarillion Summary: Ch. 16 - Of Maeglin [19/31]
• Voice of Geekdom This episode: Chapter 16.1 - Eöl the Dark Elf, and Aredhel, White Lady of the Noldor Silmarillion Explained
• Voice of Geekdom This episode: Chapter 16.2 - The Rise of Maeglin Silmarillion Explained
• The Tolkien Road Podcast This episode: Silmarillion 2022 Ch 16 » Of Maeglin
• The Tolkien Road Podcast This episode: 0047 - The Silmarillion - Chapter 16 - Of Maeglin
• The One Ring This episode: Tolkien’s Disney Princess!? – Of Maeglin – The Silmarillion – 18

The Silmarillion Reader's Guide at Tea With Tolkien.
The Silmarillion Reader's Guide by askmiddlearth on Tumblr.
Quettaparma Quenyallo (QQ) - The most extensive list of Quenya words available on the internet, by Helge Fauskanger, 1999-2013.
Tolkien Collector's Guide - Guide to Tolkien's Letters
A (Hopefully) Light Guide to the Silmarillion — Or What I Wish I’d Known Before Reading It by u/Ok_Bullfrog_8491/
The Definitive Family Tree of the Tolkien Legendarium by u/PotterGandalf117
Wikipedia - The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien
Announcement and Index: (Take 2) 2024 The Silmarillion and The Fall of Gondolin Read-Along

So i got groomed by my dads secret girlfriends, husband when 14. he left me with friend group alot and didn't notice(bc he was dipping out) or didn't care? The husband knew and took it as his right to make me love him and take my vCard as punishment to my father. I was a kid, i had zero clue any of this was happening. My dad did eventually have clear writing on the wall (i left my email open on his pc) ended everything and made me sleep in a closet bc my face he couldn't look at. He also sent an email saying I was whore and apologizing to his friends. . . I was cced. At 16.
Fast forward to me being in my 20s he had apologized one day while drunk but other than that nothing. I ended up having a server drinking problem. I was in rehab multiple times but I've had about 7 years sober total over 10 years. So all in all good.
This past three years have been hard. I moved across the country 6 years ago bc ... I cant be successful with a family who like... thinks the worst of me. Covid hit, making friends is hard blah blah. My family still kinda hates me ... bc i tried to kill myself and im loud about family wrongness (more than this issue has happened - cps) and thats not their fault they are forget and forgive no matter what ppl, & I honestly wasn't cool while in addiction, i didnt let thins go, and change takes time but I needed a change faster so I moved.
I've been away for about 6 Years. Dad use to call me on birthdays but that's it. Ever since I stopped drinking he ... distanced himself but remained proud. He drinks daily, but not to the black out point … well not every day. I relapsed during covid and since then Have had a hard time staying sober in a state far away from everyone I know plus.... trauma.
Two years ago ... WHILE DRUNK... I messaged him and the guy who groomed me aka the husband of girl he was banging saying THEY ruined me as a person and it was really hard to be alive when all of this went down. No response. I was drunk not cool to do I know.
Fast fwd st. Paddy's day about 7 months later - since dad ignored the message 7 month beforei thought it was ignore territory - I told him how proud I was I ran a pool table... he's big into the pool world. He flipped out after being nice for weeks. I'm sure he was drunk too. He said no one talks to him the way I did.
I responded by saying "it's fucked up you let A and B take advantage of me as a child". Then said "you can go to jail too for sexual assualt"... I was drunk and I meant the neglect and letting him pimp me out to friends to get to a dudes wife... is fucked.
My sister's are so mad. They say the message says he abused me sexually, and that I am a horrible person for accusing him of sexual assault. I was drunk and the message honestly reads “you can go to jail too for sa”... but I meant for allowing it.
It's gotten to the point my step mom is going around saying I accused him of sa.
I went to rehab a week after this message. I've reached out explaining I meant neglect of not intervening is illegal.
Everyone hates me ... my dad's charismatic like.me but def has a differnt mindset of the world….hard core. He thinks people who get pulled over by the cops deserve to.die if they don't follow.rules.
Anyways, I have a child now 2 months old. Im extremely sober, have a home i own on my own and a great job. It's been like a year and a half. He's objectively a bad dad. But everyone hates me. They all think I said this thing I didn't mean. I don't know how.to fix it.
Also I want my baby girl to know her grandfather even if he doesn't know me.
He once left me at a baseball game 2 hours from house without a phone. Lol bc it was too hard to find me. He's not bad he's not good. But am I the asshole? Sister's think I should take the burden of guilt. Bc my message was misconstrued. I'd always love my daughter so I'm like....but also I miss having a dad.
NY dads the type to say who's my favorite daughter will get me a beer. I'm not mad at my siblings. They know he withholds love. But they are blindly on his side i feel... but maybe I'm wrong.

PC
Reddit Account: u/DayneForDays
Discord Tag: Cubismo
Name and House: Wylla Dayne
Age: 18
Cultural Group: Stony Dornish
Appearance: Wylla is a statuesque young woman with energetic purple eyes and long dark brown hair that she often keeps free. A warrior at heart and in build, she possesses a wiry physique that compliments her natural speed and endurance. Comfortable in both feminine and masculine clothing, she favors the purple and lilac colors of her House but is always willing to experiment.
Trait: Brave
Skill(s): Two-Handed Weapons (e), Footwork, Reckless, Errantry
Talent(s): Dancing, Hunting, Questing
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): The Sword of the Morning, Heir to Starfall
Starting Location: Opening Event
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AC
Reddit Account: u/DayneForDays
Discord Tag: Cubismo
Name and House: Morgane Dayne
Age: 36
Cultural Group: Stony Dornish
Appearance: Like her daughter, Morgane is an intimidating tall woman, one still possessing of a rather spindly build despite several childbirths. Her hair is dark brown and is often kept in a bun and her sharp lilac eyes are just as often set in a serious expression. Conservative in her attire, she strictly pays respect to her House’s traditional colors and is always dressed immaculately.
Trait: Steward
Skill(s): Administrator (e), Avaricious
Talent(s): Business Acumen (x3)
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Lady of Starfall
Starting Location: Opening Event
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Timeline

12 BC: Morgane Dayne is born in Starfall to Uther Dayne, the Lord of Starfall and the Sword of the Morning of his time, and his lady wife Mara Yronwood of Yronwood. She would be their firstborn child and thus Lord Dayne’s heir as the ruler of Starfall.
4 AC: Morgane’s mother dies of a wasting disease early in the year. Her father enters a depression as a result, causing Morgane to take his place and temporarily rule Starfall. It would be during this short reign that she would show her talent as a steward, a role she would maintain even after her father's recovery.
6 AC: Thanks to Dorne’s recent integration with the rest of the realm and Queen Rhaenys Targaryen’s arranged marriages, Morgane is betrothed to Edmund Cuy of Sunhouse. Despite initial hostility between them the two would come to an understanding and even fall in love. They would marry later that year.
7 AC: After a difficult pregnancy, Wylla Dayne is born in Starfall to Morgane and Edmund. She is their firstborn child.
9 AC: Gwyn Dayne is born in Starfall after a far less taxing pregnancy. She is their second child and daughter.
13 AC: Arys Dayne is born in Starfall this year. He is their first son and final child.
15 AC: Wylla begins to develop an interest in swordplay, which both her father and grandfather encourage to her mother’s chagrin and frustration. She soon proves to have a genuine talent for knightly arts.
23 AC: When an ailing Uther raises men to assist the Reach after bandits rampaging along the Mander, Edmund is commander of the host in his stead despite Morgane’s concerns. Tragically, these fears would turn out to be well-founded as Edmund would die in the Battle of Stonebridge.
24 AC: Having been suffering for some time to the same wasting disease that took his wife for some time, Uther finally succumbs to the disease late in the year. Morgane accordingly becomes the Lady of Starfall while Wylla seeks to earn the right to wield Dawn. Despite her mother actively forbidding her from entering the contest to select the new Sword of the Morning, Wylla enters in disguise as a cousin from High Hermitage and miraculously manages to win the contest.
25 AC: Starting year. House Dayne of Starfall heads to King’s Landing to attend the feast there.
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Family Tree

[https://www.familyecho.com/?p=START&c=tg7c81ybbjh3l9sa&f=127837182289764009\]
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Supporting Characters

Gwyn Dayne: Scholar, Wylla’s serious-minded sister.
Quentyn Sand: Warrior, Wylla’s brother by choice.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Throwaway1209aloq posting in TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
Content warning - implied stealthing
1 update - Medium
Original - 31st March 2024
Update - 17th May 2024
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Dumped my girlfriend over a joke and I can't tell anyone or I'll look like a psycho.
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My (23M) Ex (25F) and I were together for just under eight months, and like, we clicked. Got along like a house on fire from the moment we met. We had a lot in common from our morals, to our goals, to our taste in music. My family? Loves her. probably more than they do me. (Mom wanted a daughter so bad she couldn't stand it growing up- 4 sons before she gave up.)
It was probably three months ago now that we had been on the couch while I watched a movie and she scrolled TikTok, (Not a TikTok hate post, scrolling can be fun, I'm just more of a Youtube guy.)
Speaking of showing me videos, she showed me one of a man holding his son, and dancing to a song. She laughed and said something about how good I would look as a dad, which was pretty weird considering as far as I knew, both of us were child-free by choice. (God knows I am.) I tried to take it as a joke, and mentioned that it was "too bad, so sad," she would never know. (I thought she would respond something about how there's nothing sad about avoiding it or something. She has never given me indication before this that she wanted children.)
And she started giggling this like, evil giggle, and said something like "I don't know, it only take's one broken condom." In this like sing-song voice that I'm not even joking gave me fucking goosebumps. The implication was clear in her tone. Like, was she making a joke about poking holes in condoms? To me? For real? I tried to laugh it off, but it made me SO fucking uncomfortable. Like skin-crawling levels of skeeved the fuck out. And after that my sexual interest for her was entirely gone, it's like I processed her as a threat or something. To be entirely honest? My libido in general is entirely fucking gone. Still hasn't come back. It feels like it's hibernating or something, until the scary lady is gone.
I know what you're thinking, "Why didn't you communicate?", and I tried, like a couple times, but when she said "Oh my god, I was kidding you big baby!" but never denied that the joke was about that. I dropped it, and stopped bringing it up. I didn't think it was worth the fight at that point, because while I still do care about her, like, a lot, I do not feel comfortable even going to sleep around her, and there is no way that is gonna mesh with a healthy relationship. If there's no trust, there's no relationship, that's how I feel, right? So I broke up with her, and when I told her, I said it was because I really needed to "focus on myself". Didn't see a point in telling her then - it would have just pissed her off. As is, she seemed to take it in stride, not angry, or concerningly upset, so that's good.
My family is more heartbroken than I am, and I haven't been great. They're begging me to reconsider, not that I would, especially considering there's no way in hell I'm telling them anything, my mother would be beside herself, think 'grandchildren please son, give me grandchildren', but more than that, I know even my dad, who doesn't care about grandchildren, and recognizes that he's more likely to get them from my younger siblings, would call me out for overreacting. So they got the same story she did. It's frustrating, because I know it's no big deal, and a joke, but it had also been upsetting, or sad. .
I know I'm overreacting, but in the moment it felt like my only option, and I really don't want to take it back even if I am. I know you may think I'm paranoid, and I probably am, but I just could not stop thinking about it. After she told that joke, I think it was gonna end one way or another, so I'm glad it ended on decent terms instead of trying to stay and fix everything until I hated her.
Sorry, I'm talking a lot, but Like I said, no one to talk to about this because being unreasonable IRL is like a criminal arrest and I'm trying to avoid another of that particular black mark on my reputation. Anyway. Off to research Vasectomies because I will not be entering another relationship, or becoming any kind of active with anyone until then haha.
TL;DR: My ex made a broken-condom joke and I spiraled so hard I ended the relationship, but that's really embarrassing so I half-heartedly claimed it was for self improvement instead.
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Comments
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Birchbeerisawesome
First of all, you are young, and relationships aren’t always going to work out long term. Also, since you had such a strong reaction to the “joke”, it seems like the vascectomy route is going to be your best path going forward! I’m of the firm belief that if you don’t want kids, definitely don’t risk having them! You will be ok in the long run, stick by what’s right for you!
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maximusultra
If you're 100% child free as a dude fr vasectomy is the legit end game , but you have to do the 3 months of condoms or abstinence but also need to beat the shmeat 20x to clear the mag
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absolutemadwoman
One of the secrets in life is: you can break up with someone for ANY reason.
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Update - 1.5 months later
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Well. I never ever thought I would update, but I have one, lol. Like I thought I had lost the password to this account and everything, but it was saved in the notes on my laptop. This isn't much of an update, but I can say that I did end up telling my friends more about the breakup- after I found out my ex is trying for a baby with her new bf, also her ex.
Also I wasn't stalking her to get this information, I live in a small town, and two of my friends came to me and told me. They said they didn't want me to find out from someone else, but I didn't really care outside of the relief that now I was sure that she wasn't pregnant during the breakup, something that had been giving me nightmares- they calmed down. Apparently both of them thought I would react badly to the information and spiral or something. Whatever.
I know a lot of people said I had taken a joke and overreacted, was a cruel-hearted and evil misogynist trying to control her body and everything else, but this just confirmed to me that she was never joking. I mean, its been a little over two months since the break-up, and she's trying to have a baby.
I'm not angry at her anymore, not at all, in fact I'm happy for her, because if this is what she want's good for her. I just wish she could have told me sooner, so as to not waste either of our times.
I've been working on getting a Vasectomy, but as of now it hasn't happened yet. But as I mentioned in the last post I won't be sexually/romantically active to any degree with anyone but my hand until that's completed. I think I'm lightly traumatized- this is a joke, you can laugh! What else? Uhhh.... I'm thinking about getting a new dog? I have nothing else to add here, but thanks anyway.
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Comments
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granny_weatherwax_
You know what? I don't think you broke up over a joke. I think you broke up over a threat. If my partner joked about getting me pregnant by fucking with my birth control, and I KNEW they wanted to be a parent, I would have a really hard time trusting them again, especially without an earnest apology and a straightforward conversation where they acknowledged why the "joke" would be scary.
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Alien_lifeform_666
Absolutely, 100%, that was a threat. She was effectively telling him that she could arrange to get pregnant if she wanted to, and there’s nothing he could do about it. That’s breakup territory.
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Ok_Budget1724
Interesting perspective - I’ve been begging for an IUD but have made similar jokes in the past - fully anticipating he would be wearing a condom or having plan b effective / an abortion as worst case scenario. I think getting a vasectomy if YOU don’t want children is important. I stopped traditional birth control for health reasons / disorganisation but always let that partner know.

OOP: Yeah, I explained it in the last post to a degree, but I didn't really get into my medical anxiety. I have it a lot, and even when I made my last post I knew I was going to have to get one, because I realized trusting someone else with my future- no matter how trustworthy they may seem- isn't enough. I have never, and never intend to have sex without a condom. Even after the vasectomy, and every woman I've been with sexually has expressed that they are also childfree, and are on birth control of some kind. I am not into taking chances. I wouldn't mentally be able to handle having a child, and I would be a terrible father. I knew it was my time to take it into my own hands after last time, but was still extremely nervous, to the point I was considering becoming celibate, just to avoid the possibility all together.
It was actually the men, and wives of men on reddit who reached out after my last post, and explained that they understood the nerves, and they were natural, but that it really wasn't as scary, or as painful as it sounds. I am very thankful for that, because it helped me to get up the balls (pun not intended), to bring it up with my doctor and start the process. Some even gave me advice on how to deal with the healing process, which I have fully taken under advisement.
I'm hoping that afterword I feel the same way they do: Confused and frustrated with myself as to why I didn't do it sooner.

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

A year and half ago one of my sons childhood friends was in a very difficult situation. She had two teenage children, a dog, two cats and had no where to go. I'll refer to her has Sheila. I'm “retired” while my husband says he's retired ( but never stopped) and we have grandkids; when my son was complaining about how he wished he had space for this friend ...I volunteered. We had the extra rooms for her and the kids, we also had the acreage for additional animals except for the cats. My husband is deathly allergic to cats. Regardless, I talked to my husband, and we then offered her the extra rooms for free. So long as Sheila finds someplace else for the cats. She agreed and she was very appreciative while also being honest with us. She has an autoimmune disease (JRA) and the youngest is autistic while her oldest is trans; she’s a chef at heart and we're retired so she'll take care of the meals. As she already had a job to work from home, those checks would go into savings.
We had a few weeks of near daily talks hashing out how this would work. I'll give the highpoints but these were the general rules:
Her rent is paid via meals. Her children do chores as they’re capable of doing them (cleaning their bathroom, vacuuming, dishes, keeping their room clean, and helping my husband to maintain the main lawn [which is maybe 1000sf] and help as requested with the farm.) She had 1 year to save up for a place of her own. To be rediscussed every 6 months.
We’ve had 3 discussions since, and no she doesn't have the money to move out in this economy. Most of this is due to the 3 hospitalizations through no fault of her own (and the way the economy keeps raw dogging everyone who doesn't have a 6 digit bank account)...we are fine with her and her kids being here. I managed to help the autistic one get into general Ed and he's on his way to graduating. I'm so extremely proud of him, he entered my house as creature who did everything he could to make himself small and acceptable to everyone else. Today, me and him can argue about moral ideologies in an heated manner and after the cool down still wants to sit with me while I watch my brain watch TV. Just the fact that he’s willing to be vocal is my pride in him; he's worked hard to get here and I'm so happy for him. I'll answer questions about that relationship if needed as I'm rambling.
After 3 months of Sheila being here I cook all the meals. She in effort at the start but now after a year and half, I'm do all the meals myself. In the times where I just can't my husband does. I think the last meal she put into this house was for the day after new years which was warming up left overs. Which is what's contributing to my attrition and may make the asshole.
My AITA is about her damn dog. I told Sheila not to give her dog a specific food. Bunny is now older and I just burried my baby boy at 20 years; 7 years after the vet said he'd live a month, I went psycho on his diet and kept him going happy and energetic for 7 years. Sheila has been fine in letting me control the animals diets. And I have become a but of a Nazi; there are some foods that a dog can have young that they can't have when they're older. Garlic is one of them. Bunny is now 7 years, I nevere let her have garlic. Sheila dropped some garlic pita chips into the flow tonight and called Bunny to eat them to clean it up. I screamed
It's a great Dane and Belgium Malinos mix and was 5 years old when I first met it. It's father was a Great Dane and the mother a Malnous-(I'm not spelling it right but I cannot get autocorrect to make it correct)-a bug lazy giant mixed with a hyper working dog. It's friggin neurotic. The first day I met it it jumped up into my face and broke my nose. To be honest she warned me it was a jumper and I didn't respect that warning.
I don't want to be disrespectful but...I broke that dog of jumping in a month of it being in my house. Not because I'd make it negative, but because I’d say no and crowd her her immediately and when she greeted people without jumping I'd get excited and give treats. As my son says, “It's the smartest dumb dog I've ever met.” It is extremely intelligent but...I feel bad for saying this-Sheila has only ever had cats. She doesn't give it direction or jobs beyond sleeping with her. When it doesn't have a job it is loud and destructive, giving itself guidance that it wants from Sheila.
In the first 6 months it destroyed our back yard fence every time Sheila left the property. I feel the behavior is because she's trained it to be by her side at all times. When she wasn't near, the Dog (named Bunny) didn't know what to do with herself and attacked the fence to try to find her. I've managed to get the dog contained, compliant, and sweet.....when Sheila is not around. If she wasn't so big I'd make her my own.
I know there are two sides of a story and I will try to account for Sheila’s but I am going to advocate for my side.
This dog entered my house barking, jumping, chewing, and spazzing as a puppy would but was actually 5 years old. Shiela just told me Bunny is now 8 years old. As long as Sheila is not around Bunny is calm, response, nondestructive, she has jobs in the house (specifically to chase squirrels out of the garden) until Sheila returns and then no matter what is going on Bunny will scream and cry to get close to Sheila.
Sheila works from home and it's generally fine except for the times when Sheila chooses that Bunny should be outside (arbitrarily). I have to deal with Bunny crying and screaming: Sheila is inside, Bunny is out, I think Bunny is neurotic because she knows Sheila is home and that her job is to be BY Sheila. Sheila’s response to this is to either ignore, scream at her, or give treats-but leave bunny outside while Sheila returns to work. Sheila is very talented at focusing on work regardless of what's going on out side. While Bunny is loosing her mind to get close to Sheila, Sheila doesn't doesn't notice unless I interrupt.
The whole goal of Sheila working is for her to save enough to get a house. I'm committed to this, so I've taken over Bunny during work hours which means two of three meals I feed Bunny. I've been feeding bunny for past year while Sheila works.
Today is apart of a two week vacation Sheila has taken for her oldest graduation. Sheila made food for bunny with Garlic in it. I saw it, and I told Sheila that Bunny is too old to have anything with garlic in it as Bunny is now 7 years old (70 years old in human years, they don't deal with toxins like they used to). Sheila got very upset with me and was very verbal that Bunny was not my dog and I had no voice it what bunny ate.
I feel that Sheila has only said this because I have spent so much time in the last year working with her dog, correcting Bunny to get positive behaviors. This summer Bunny has become very nervous about the new automatic sprinklera we have and I've been the one working Bunny through the fear she has darn near sun up to sun down.
Let me be clear, I'm only doing this now because Sheila simply removes bunny from the yard when the sprinklers start, while I have been sitting in the patio (that the sprinklers don't touch) and been trying to get her comfortable with them. They are new and scary for a dog-Sheila is too busy on the computer to work Bunny through her fears so I'm doing it.
When I work through the day with Bunny, by the afternoon timer that sets the sprinklers off Bunny is having a blast chasing and jumping through the sprinklers.
I'm a bit PO’d at Sheila's outrage and need to assert control over Bunny when I said the dog couldn't have garlic any more. I've shared my house for a year an half with 3 people and dog who all seem to have some sort of behavioral issues. I've exterted control where I can with Bunny to have nice days with own my home with her, her children, and her animals. But Bunny is Sheila's dog so....I don't have a voice.
Please don't placate or disparage; AITA and how do I move through this? It's not my dog, they’re not “famil”y, but I honestly want to continue to help all of them. Including Bunny. I need to find a way to get Sheila on board; she doesn't seem to have the time or patience for Bunny beyond bedtime.
P.S. knowing how reddit commentors can go: I don't argue structure or consequences in regards to her children and I've adapted as Sheila has requested. She simply doesn't have any structure for Bunny, while she enjoys the consequences my structure on Bunny.....she now seems to resent that. As it's only resently she's been putting her foot down about Bunny.
While I'm of the mindset: Bunny is her very first dog, her words, she had only had cats before hand. Sheila did pick a mixed breed but...my god did she pick an unpredictable mix. I've adapted as much as I can to help this dog find calm and connectedness. I love Bunny and I've spent so long working on her poor behaviors, editing her diet, giving her a job and a space that belongs to her inside and outside the house. I just want Bunny to live as long and happy as possible but feel if I put my foot down, I'm the asshole.
Mind the Autocorrect. I've re-read 3 times now and still find crappy misspelling and worse grammar as I've only used Reddit on mobile and make a mash of it every time I do. My apologies.
Edit: I'm sorry, I wrote this while having an argument with Sheila. Bunny is 7-8 years old per Sheila just a it ago; she's unsure of the digs age and has only guessed when talking about Bunny. Sheila said she thinks Bunny was 1 to 2 years old when she got her. My jumping in ages of 7 to 8 to 7 is just me being inaccurate as me and Sheila yell at each other and me typing In here in the lulls.
This is a very active argument. That does NOT end in be evicting them.

Hey guys, I’m just looking for validation and a place to vent. I have a hard time setting boundaries with SD(17) cause overall she’s a good kid. We both hate confrontation though, but we have a hard time telling people to stop doing the things that bother us unless it’s urgent. Ok, I’ll keep this short. Basically, my bio daughter is almost 2. My SO, her dad, is Hispanic. I am mixed, but I was never given the opportunity to learn my native language and there’s absolutely no way for me to learn it now because there are no resources for it out there. It’s a dying language. So I swore to myself that my kids would learn their dad’s language, I’d give them that. So I spent the first year of my daughter’s life watching Spanish baby shows and repeating all the Spanish words to her. I’d get so embarrassed because of my pronunciation, but I was determined. I spoke it in public and in front of her grand parents. Fast forward to a few months ago.
SD sees my baby do sign language and say the Spanish word for more. She gets so excited because she chose to forgo Spanish and learn ASL for her high school language. Which is fine, I can tell she’s uncomfortable speaking Spanish in general and just overall refuses every opportunity to speak Spanish back. The issue I now have is that my daughter knows more sign language than Spanish and is forgetting the Spanish she did learn and replacing the words with English. I truly believe this is because SD practices ASL with her daily and when my daughter does the sign and speaks Spanish, SD does the sign and repeats English. I have corrected my baby in front of SD and she hasn’t gotten the hint that I would prefer Spanish to ASL. I want to have a conversation and tell her that while I appreciate her efforts and desire to share something with her sibling and expand on a third language, I’d rather she sign and speak Spanish to baby or stop all together. It was never my intention to teach my daughter ASL, it was just a happy perk of our Spanish teacher. But now she’s forgetting all the Spanish I worked so hard to teach her. Would that be wrong of me? Anyone with similar experiences?
My next challenge is telling her that she needs to stop interacting with baby when dad and I are trying to teach her manners/lessons or scold her for touching something she shouldn’t. SD is starting to call the baby over to her during disciplinary moments and the baby stops listening to me and dad. Wish me luck…
*SD never asked dad or me if we wanted her to teach baby ASL. She’s taken it upon herself.

Character Creation:

PC
Reddit Account: AnotherBabyEchidna
Discord Tag: thebrundun
Name and House: Willem Ryger
Age: 45
Cultural Group: RiverlandeValemen
Appearance: Willem Ryger always seems to have a coy smile about him, accentuated by his strong jawline and sharp cheekbones. His curly light brown hair has begun to thin, though his pronounced brows remain strong. Standing around six feet tall, his posture always exudes confidence, and his near-yellow brown eyes always seem to be hiding a secret or a joke.
Trait: Mastermind
Skill(s): Assassin (e), Covert (e), Devious
Talent(s): Philosophising, Carousing, Gambling
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Lord of Willow Wood, Ser
Starting Location: King’s Landing
Alternate Characters: n/a

Bio-Timeline:

• 20 BC: Willem is born into the cursed bloodline of House Ryger to Willow and Ryman Ryger. House Ryger has long kept their curse a secret to the outside world. As the story goes, at the birth of every Ryger there is a new weeping willow sprouted in their willow forests and the health of the weeping willow is said to be directly tied to the health of the Ryger.
• 18 BC: Willem’s brother, Marq, is born.
• 10 BC: Willem is sent to ward under Vance of Wayfarer’s Rest at the behest of his grandfather Lord Leo Ryger who detests the idea of his disappointment of a son raising the eventual heir of Willow Wood.
• 8 BC: Willem makes quick friends with Beck Bracken, also warding at Wayfarer’s rest, though he takes a special liking to his sister, Perra, and a childhood crush forms.
• 2 BC: Willem is knighted but the event is overshadowed by the capitulation of the Vances to Aegon the Conqueror. He returns home to Willow Wood where his grandfather informs him of the family curse and in order to avoid the curse he is sent to The Eyrie to join their court, quickly earning their trust and his outsider perspective and connections are used in the capacity of Master of the Thresholds. Also during this time his first son, a bastard named Rickard, is revealed to him. Despite the child being of common birth and mute, Willem takes him in to raise him as his own, though much of the raising is done by his servants.
• 1 BC: Funnily enough, similar to how Willem was present when King Aegon landed at Wayfarer’s Rest, Queen Visenya lands at The Eyrie, and Willem is one of the few advisors to Sharra to counsel bending the knee.
• 1 AC: Willem Ryger weds Lynese Hightower, though his true love is still Perra Bracken yet he spares her his family curse by not wedding her. Later in the year his first trueborn daughter is born and named Roslyn. Additionally, his nephew, Robyn, is born, and the pair of Robyn and Roslyn are inseparable.
• 2 AC: Willem and Lynese have another child and name her Mya.
• 5 AC: Willem and Lynese have their last child together, naming their son Myles, though the curse claims Lynese’s life shortly after his birth. After her death, his life of debauchery begins and he begins his yearly parties for the elite of Westeros. Another nephew, Addam, is also born, though Willem does not celebrate the addition to their family with his brother.
• 7 AC: Willem involves himself in the Tully plot against King Aegon, though his ties to the Vale arouse suspicion and he is barred from much of the decision making. Due to this untrust, he informs Lord Blackwood of the plot who takes on much of the burden of revealing the plot to Queen Visenya. Due to Willem’s close ties to the Vale and his lord grandfather’s acceptance, House Ryger swears fealty to House Arryn directly. During this time, the stress pushes Willem into the arms of his childhood crush, Perra Bracken, despite his continued refusal to wed her. Unbeknownst to him a child is spawned from this affair.
• 8 AC: Willem becomes a personal confidant and source of comfort to the grieving Queen Rhaenys. The intimacy of their relationship is kept a closely guarded secret, especially their bedding which results in another child unbeknownst to him. His duties to the Vale require a large distance to be maintained between them, forbidding any true relationship from developing.
• 10 AC: Willem is present for Sharra Arryn’s death yet at the same time his own father, Ryman Ryger, dies. Rather than return home, Willem persists in The Eyrie during the trying time for House Arryn. As Ronnel Arryn comes of age, Willem is retained as Master of the Thresholds.
• 11 AC: Willem’s grandfather, Lord Leo Ryger, dies soon after, as if he only lived out of spite to not see Ryman inherit Willow Wood. His death occurs after a visit to The Eyrie, the second time of visiting with the first being the oath to House Arryn, where Leo further informs Willem of their curse. Were a Ryger to stand quiet enough in the weeping willing forests of their home, he could hear their ancestors. Lastly, it is revealed that despite Leo’s attempts to shield Willem from the curse, a rot has set into Willem’s willow. Due to this, Willem accepts the counsel that his brother Marq take on much of the responsibility of ruling Willow Wood.
• 12 AC: Willem’s eldest daughter, Roslyn, is informed of everything that his grandfather has informed him of. He decides to keep Roslyn close and begin to teach her much of his subterfuge and sets her up to inherit many of his connections should he pass.
• 13 AC: Willem’s daughter, Mya, is sent to ‘squire’ for the Cavaliers upon their creation.
• 15 AC: Willem’s son, Myles, is sent to squire for the legendary knight Lord Corbray, though the boy is difficult to train mostly due to his protest of being sent away from his family.
• 18 AC: Willem’s bastard son, Rickard, is finally knighted and immediately following his ceremony he takes off to find where his commoner mother was sent off to. Unfortunately, the Riverwar breaks out during his travels and he finds himself on either side of the war depending on which side of the battle he happens to need to be on to continue his search for his mother.
• 19 AC: Willem is present for the wedding of Queen Visenya and Lord Lyn Egen and does his best to aid in the planning of the festivities.
• 20 AC: Willem’s brother, Marq, declares himself Regent of Willow Wood. While having been the de facto regent, the declaration comes under contention from Willem. To resolve the dispute, Roslyn is made Steward of Willow Wood and acts as eyes and ears for Willem. Her loyalties are in contention, unbeknownst to Willem, as Roslyn and her cousin Robyn further their relationship into intimacy.
• 22 AC: Willem’s bastard son, Rickard, returns from his travels. Being mute, his ability to convey his travels is limited, but the corpse he returns with bears the resemblance of the woman Willem bedded long ago. They put her body to rest in the weeping willow forests and Rickard forever swears his service to his father.
• 23 AC: Willem’s trueborn son, Myles, returns to Willem now a knight. He is given the truth of the family curse and his mental state further spirals, with his long protest of being sent away now given a proper justification. Willem brings the entire family to the forests to find each of their weeping willows, where Myles finds the rot of his father to have spread to his tree nonetheless. He vows to make his death worthwhile, though Willem cautions that despite his own tree having rot, he has yet to perish.
• 25 AC: Willem leads the entirety of House Ryger to the festivities in King’s Landing.

Family Tree:

https://www.familyecho.com/?p=START&c=3f566chlk4whp1yg&f=600232199387350859

Supporting Characters:

AC
Name and House: Roslyn Ryger
Age: 24
Cultural Group: RiverlandeValewoman
Appearance: Roslyn’s dark, straight hair and pale skin stand in sharp contrast to her father. Her amber eyes are inherited directly from him, however, as was her smile that often appears devious to some and endearing to others. Constantly lost in thought, she takes an unassuming posture, preferring to only display confidence when she feels she is in the right.
Trait: Insidious
Skill(s): Espionage (e), Investigator
Talent(s): Singing, Hunting, Gambling
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Steward of Willow Wood
Starting Location: King’s Landing
Alternate Characters: n/a
 
Archetypes/Notable Characters:

• Mya Ryger - Daughter of Willem; the resemblance is uncanny upon realizing that Roslyn inherited Willem’s cunning while Mya inherited charm. Aged 23. Tourney Knight archetype.
• Myles Ryger - Son of Willem and heir to Willow Wood; of whom has lost the luster of life in his eyes with an uneasy calm demeanor always present. Aged 20. Cutthroat archetype.
• Rickard Rivers - Bastard son of Willem; a mute who has devoted his life to a love of killing under the guise of being a knight. Aged 27.
• Marq Ryger - Brother to Willem; rather than enacting his cunning through subterfuge, he has instead proven his ability as a cunning commander with a true love of tactics. Aged 43.
• Robyn Ryger - Nephew to Willem; a man of true brilliance and joy for learning who has devoted his time to the art of revenue generation. Aged 24.
• Addam Ryger - Nephew to Willem; a kind-hearted simpleton that has been focused on the simplicity of combat. Aged 20.
• Septon-Maester Stephus - A long-time advisor to Willem; likely neither septon nor a maester, but his wisdom is vast, if often crude. Aged 68.

I am a 17-year-old high school senior about to graduate, and I have no clue what I’m going to do. I have never had great grades because I was never encouraged to complete my work when I was younger. Only now, during my senior year, have I felt the urge to learn and try to get better grades in my classes. At the beginning of the year, I got my first girlfriend, and my whole world has revolved around her. I want to have a future with her, but recently, her mother and father don’t seem to like me. They are Chinese, and it is common for them to want their kids to go to college. However, because I never had the best grades or even tried to get accepted into anything other than a community college, her mother doesn’t think I’ll be able to support her daughter in the future and give her the life she wants.
It’s also common that if we got married, my family would give money after the wedding to help pay for a house, and her family would reciprocate. But my family is lower income and probably won't be able to give a lot of money, so her family might not give much either, which just adds to the problem. I’ve been trying to find all the ways I can make money or career paths I can choose in college. I’ve thought of going to the National Guard to pay for medical school because I would be in major debt otherwise, or becoming a civil engineer, but I’ve never had the math grades to pursue careers like that, so I don’t even know if I’m capable of learning. I’ve thought of owning a business, investing, going to community college and working my way up to a higher degree by changing schools, and just anything to make enough money to at least buy a house in the future. But I don’t know what I’m going to do.

In proper English said "niece" is my second cousin once removed who lives a couple hours' flight from me. But in my culture "once removed" is the same as niece/nephew or aunt/uncle, so I will refer to this 16-year-old girl as Niece.
I am very close to her mother, my second cousin (42F). She recently flew in to attend a funeral in our family. While staying with me I learned that Cousin intends to move out tonight and file for divorce this coming week.
Cousin does have an affair and is leaving for her AP. In general I usually oppose affairs vehemently, as I have survived my own father's affair and know how it hurts the family. But please refrain from judging my cousin, because the point of my post is about what I could do to support her daughter, rather than debating the morality of my cousin's infidelity.
With proper context, I understand why Cousin went there. She's been enduring chronic emotional abuse from her own STBXH (43M) including rape, and being silenced and shamed for grieving for her father who died earlier this year.
Cousin has had trouble leaving because like many survivors of abusive marriages it takes time and enormous effort and willpower to pull off leaving. Not to mention that she and STBXH run a business together and have been striving to brave a presentable face for their delicate professional network.
Cousin's marriage has been dead for years, but before she managed to completely pull off leaving, her AP came into the picture and catalysed her exit. While I would never condone cheating to betray a loving spouse, I do find myself sympathetic to this particular grey area, especially because I see that the AP happens to have goals, values and capabilities that align with what Cousin needs in order to pursue a fulfilling future and not live the rest of her life as a zombie in an undead marriage.
Cousin has informed her 21-year-old son of the upcoming divorce and her affair. Although Nephew is a devout Christian who in principle does not condone divorce and affairs, he understands that this marriage has killed his mother's spirit, and he supports whatever his mother needs to do in order to reclaim her own autonomy, confidence and identity. He promises to look out for his sister in this difficult and potentially traumatising transitional period. He also told his mother that he loves her no matter what, though he is also honest and firm about boundaries like being unwilling to meet the AP because he does feel that AP has robbed him of his mother.
Niece has not been informed of what is about to happen in the coming days, and my heart breaks for her. Like her older brother, she is an intelligent and hard working young person with big dreams for her future, and a good heart. And I know she also loves her mother to the moon and back. My heart breaks for her because she will be blindsided by her parents' upcoming divorce.
Despite the marriage troubles, Cousin describes STBXH as an otherwise good father and provider. He will contest the fault divorce, but Cousin will offer him a full share of the house and custody of their daughter, because she will be moving to the countryside for her next job.
My Aunt (Cousin's motheNiece's grandmother) also lives in Cousin's STBXH's house, but will also be blindsided by this upcoming divorce. Aunt is a good person who I know will do her best to support her granddaughter, but she will also struggle with her own grief and strong emotions, and often speaks unfiltered before thinking.
While Cousin was staying with me, I addressed preparing Niece with some other good key people in her support system. I suggested hooking Niece up with a psychologist to see on a fortnightly or monthly basis so that she has a reliable adult figure to help her process her complicated emotions in a non-judgmental safe space, develop healthy coping skills and overcoming strategies, disarm traumas before they have a chance of festering, and gets empowered by someone who can model reclaiming her identity and self-worth in a world that's changing overnight.
I also offered to check in with Niece and to be there for her through this difficult transitional period.
I'm not half as close to Niece as I am to her mother, but we are on friendly terms. My ex husband is a novelist/filmmaker and my Niece is a huge fan of his, so at one point she texted me lovely compliments and expressed enthusastic interest in my ex's newer works-in-progress. I also offered her words of support when her now late grandfather was hospitalised and her family moved to his city to care for him.
I guess this brings me to my questions. Because I care about my Cousin, I'm interested in contributing to Niece's support system by offering to be there for her as a safe adult she can trust and approach anytime for perspective, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a voice of reason. What can I do for a teenage girl in my extended family who is going through a parents' divorce blindsided?
For those of you who have been in these aunty/uncle shoes before, what are some do's and don'ts and key lessons you have learned from your experience?
And for those of you who survived parents' divorce as blindsided teenagers, who were the best safe adults in your support system at the time, and what did they do for you? Or if you weren't as lucky, what kind of support did you wish you had, and what do you wish adults in your life back then did differently?
Finally, what can I do to facilitate recovering my niece's love and respect for her parents in spite of their faults and her anger and grief about it?
Thank you!

Hollywood loves a love story, but Ryan O'Neal and Joanna Moore's was a tabloid headline waiting to happen. This stunning couple, more suited for the red carpet than parenthood, proved spectacularly unfit for the job. Their idea of raising children seemed to involve a liberal supply of cigarettes and illicit substances, leaving little Tatum and Griffin to fend for themselves.

When Joanna took custody, it wasn't exactly an upgrade. The squalor of their new life would make even the most jaded social worker blanch. Imagine conditions so dire that the UK's NSPCC would be reaching for the hazmat suits.
Then came a glimmer of hope – "Paper Moon" and a child actress Oscar nomination for Tatum. But even this turned sour. Ryan, consumed by his own lack of recognition, couldn't stomach his daughter's success. The audacity of a child outshining him! Neither parent could be bothered to attend the ceremony, a complete abdication of parental support in a moment their child truly needed them.
And what did Ryan do after Tatum's win? Did he use this as an opportunity to connect with his daughter, to guide her through the treacherous waters of child stardom? Absolutely not. Instead, he saw her as a glamorous accessory, a trophy to be paraded around Hollywood parties.
Tatum's world became a whirlwind of champagne wishes and caviar dreams, fueled by a relentless party scene. When a drug dealer on Ryan's payroll – yes, you read that right – violated Tatum in the most horrific way, where was Ryan, the protector, the father figure? He wasn't there. In a move that defies comprehension, he not only failed to protect his daughter, but cruelly placed the blame on her, all the while keeping the perpetrator on his payroll. This wasn't just neglect, it was a sickening betrayal.
As Tatum spiraled deeper, battling addiction and the emotional fallout of her childhood trauma, Ryan remained a distant, uncaring figure. When she reached a point of such despair that she contemplated ending her life, there was no shoulder to cry on, no fatherly comfort.
Griffin, meanwhile, wasn't spared his own brand of torment. He became Ryan's emotional punching bag, the recipient of a father's misplaced anger and frustration.
So, the next time you see a young Tatum O'Neal on screen, radiating a knowing cynicism beyond her years, understand that it wasn't just good acting. It was the heartbreaking consequence of a childhood ravaged by neglect and a parade of deeply flawed adults. Her world-weary gaze wasn't a performance; it was a glimpse into a stolen childhood, a life robbed of the love and security every child deserves.

I’ll never understand why women are religious. I understand why men are, after all, they are the gods. They are the superiors and we are just the r*apebait, baby making slaves right?
Religions women disgust me. No self-respecting man would ever follow a religion that only/ mainly has female gods, that worships females, that calls females the creators, that has a “father” but can never acc mention that father, that constantly says that they are inferior to women, that men were the cause of the original sin/ that they are rhe root of evil cuz 1 (made up) “person” messed up and now everyone born their gender will have a painful and fucked up life, and so on and so forth. So why do women do it?
This is one of womens’ many flaws imo. Too forgiving. And because of that, i think that religions are right in saying that women are “obedient”. More men are atheists than women. It should be the other way around but women just wont leave this toxic relationship.
Im south asian. Almost all my family is hindu, and i sort of practised it too until i was about 10, then became an atheist. I am 19 now and have everlasting trauma and self-hate from those 10 years and just learning more about the different religions makes them hate them and my self more and more and more and more.
There is a ceremony that some people preform when a girl gets her first period. Absolutely barbaric and this was my breaking point to making me become an atheist. It’s basically am advertisement and it’s lowkey pedophilic cuz the whole idea of it is that they invite everyone and basically say “i have a daughter who can now have kids. So men, come up, and take a gander at her”. Basically saying that this 7-12 yr old is old enough for marriage and to have kids. And it just gives off “if she’s old enough to bleed, she’s old enough to breed” vibes.
And ofc men dont have anything this humiliating cuz why would they? Men actually have DIGNITY in this world that tries to shame, belittle and degrade women from the time we are born!
Oh and also right after i got it. Like the second after i got my first one. My stupid mom called all of her family and told them even when i told her not to. NO RESPECT FOR ME
I never did this stupid thing. I had to fight my parents to not do it and i dont regret what i did. BUT after not doing it, people (random ass family members mainly) would COME UP TO ME AND ASK ME IF I “WAS NORMAL” … NORMAL. THAT IS THE EXACT WORDING THEY USED. ASKED ME IF ANYTHING WAS “WRONG” with me! The answer is no. BUT WHY IS THAT ANYONES BUSINESS. WHY SHOULD MY BUSINESS BE SHARED TO ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO I DONT EVEN KNOW LIKE THIS? Like even if i did have endo or didnt get a period for whatever reason or whatever, THAT WOULD NOT MAKE ME “not NORMAL”. Do we treat anyone else with other diseases/ illnesses like this?! Do we tell people with cancer that they are “not normal”. NO BECAUSE THEY DONT CONTROL THAT (not in every case). They for the most part have condolences and best wishes. but the SECOND it is something that affects cis women, SOCIETY SHAMES THEM INSTEAD OF RESPECTING THEIR PRIVACY OR SHOWING THEM PITY OR CONCERN OR GIVING THEM USEFUL/ WANTED ADVICE
When you are on you period, you are “unclean” and apparently spread cooties or something idk. Just such childish thinking. Cuz ive had family members Litterally SNEEZE AND COUGH IN FOOD or cough without covering their mouths and my mom turns a blind eye to it. Defends them. Says theres nothing wrong and that they are not “actually sick”. But BUT …. If i am on my period and want to touch my own clothes in my own closet. Or if i had just finished my period and haven’t showered yet and go to touch my clothes, TELL ME WHY MY MOM THROWS A HISSY FIT TANTRUM GOING OFF ABOUT HOW IM “CONTAMINATING” all mu clothes and that everything ive touched now had to be washed ?!?!!?!!!?!!???? GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YELLS AT ME FOR GOING TO THE KITCHEN IN MY OWN HOUSE. YELLS AT ME FOR PASSING THE PRAYER ROOM TO GET TO MY OWN BED ROOM. Like she knew she was raised like this and that she would do that to me. Should have just had an abortion (im from canada) the second she found out that i wasn’t a precious, clean baby boy , but instead am a dirty, impure female.
UK WHAT, just search up what “period huts” are on google 😀 and all the LITTERAL DEATHS THEY CAUSE CUZ PEOPLE WANNA BANISH GIRLS FROM THEIR HOMES FOR SOMETHING WE CAN NOT CONTROL NOT EVEN ALLOWED IN YOUR OWN HOME AND YOU ARE REDUCED TO A STRAY ANIMAL FOR YOUR PERIOD. In fact, despite the fact that these people throw those huge parties to announce a first period, periods are VERY taboo in south asia. To the point where women cant even have/ use pads or carry pads around so they have to resort to using cloth and leaves WHICH CAUSES INFECTIONS
WE HATE OUR GIRLS SO MUCH AND EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH THEM THAT WE WOULD RATHER KILL THEM OR MAKE THEM TERRIBLY SICK THAN HELP THEM! Im crying writing this cuz im honestly at a loss for words.
That said, i dont think that hinduism is the worst one out there. There are definitely worse ones but this was just my experience and i needed to vent and maybe teach others some things and give reasons as to why we shouldn’t be following these MAN MADE LIES!

"....... The war affected my Master in ways I couldn't see at the time, yet it was her actions during the war that cloud my memory of her. Perhaps I was selfish, so focused on my own pain and feelings of injustice that I couldn't see she was suffering the same as I was. Perhaps she was able to deal with it in a far more healthy way. Or perhaps instead it burned her out on the inside to the point where she didn't care anymore or was force to surround herself with doctrine.
I don't know, and I don't know if I want to know as then I could not longer hope it was the better answer. I try to hold onto the memories of her before the war, a warmer, kinder woman, a mother like figure who's advice in hindsight, I wish I had followed more often.
While most would ascribe my political views to that of my father, Senator Fi Lor who's Senate seat I now hold. My political philosophy surprisingly came from my Jedi Master in a way. It was a consistency in her view of power.
During a discussion on the Dark Side, my Master stated something profound to me, something I internalized and ensured that I remembered. The quote, as best I can remember is this.
"Barriss, remember this: Power wants to be used. It must be kept under constant vigil, else it will seduce and corrupt you. One moment you’re swatting an annoying training toy; the next you’re paralyzing an offending being’s lungs and choking him to death. You do it because you can. It becomes an end in itself. As a Jedi, you live always on this edge. A single misstep, and you can fall to the dark side. It has happened to many, and it is always a tragedy. As with an addictive drug, it’s too easy to say, ‘I’ll do it just this once.’ That’s not how it works. The only thing that stands between you and the dark side is your own will and discipline. Give in to your anger or your fear, your jealousy or your hate, and the dark side claims you for its own. If that happens, you will become an enemy to all that the Jedi stand for and an enemy of all Jedi who hold to the path of right."
I asked her if she had ever given into the Dark Side, and she admitted she had on one occasion, I asked what it was it was like and if it would feel evil. She said no, said it would feel good, empowering, satisfying, and worst of all, it would feel right and justified, and that was the danger.
She was right, not just about the Dark Side but about power in general.
Had I listened and processed that at the time, perhaps so much pain I have inflicted could have been avoided, or perhaps not, the Force is mysterious like that, but It did not take the power of Dark Side to bomb the temple, nor to do any part of my plan or subsequent attempts to repair the situation. In fact, I made sure of it, yet, despite not using the power of the Dark Side, I fell into it, the trap, the drug.
I have used the Dark Side many times since then, trusting my own discipline and restrictions to keep me from falling deeper, tapping into a dangerous fire, every time more addicting and every time more tempting to throw away my restrictions that limit it, every time it always feels like the right solution, the only solution, it is essential, it must be done or else something worse will happen, just give in again, take another dose of power and you can solve whatever issue lies in front of you.
It is not just with the Force. It is any power. The power of a politician to force people to comply with their vision, the power of a business-leader to abuse their workers. The power of a parent over their child, the president of a home owners association, a landlord, a reporter, even how we treat animals. Power must be kept under constant vigil and no one in power is immune to the temptation of abusing it, we must actively choose every day to resist it and ensure our path is true, it is often harder, but is the right way and in the long run, that is what will matter.
I could be considered a recovering addict in a way, no matter what I do and how long I live I will always be fighting the urge to relapse. And like a recovering addict, I am often ashamed of my actions and seek to prevent others from falling into the same path as I once walked. Having walked it, I can honestly say that the benefits never outweighed the cost.
My Master's Saber now sits on my shelf at eye level, and looking at it I wonder what she would think of me. Should I care? Had she lived would the mother like figure I knew before the war return with peace, or was her true nature the cold and harsh one I saw during the war?
I miss her still."

im a harbinger of bad luck so cant believe things actually went okay-ish considering im not a competitive applicant
₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ Demographics

• Gender: Non-Binary
• Race/Ethnicity: Filipino
• Residence: Philippines (international applicant)
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): N/A
• High School: Religious private school that isnt the most competitive or well-known in the country but pretty alright.
• Income Bracket: 35k (considered middle class in the Philippines, my father is the sole breadwinner working as a lawyer and I have 2 more siblings who are still studying in private schools)
• EFC: 2k to 3k USD (i needed aid from every school)

₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ Intended Major(s): Media Production / Film and Television Production / Communications / Media Studies
₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁Academics

• GPA: 3.9 for Freshman/Sophomore/Senior year, 3.6 for Junior year
• of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: NONE, my school offered AP classes but I couldnt afford them
• Senior Year Course Load: Mostly humanities and social science classes, I did not have any science or math classes in my coursework.

₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ Standardized Testing

• SAT/ACT: Went test optional but I took it once and got a 1230 (LOW AS HELL BYE)
• ENGLISH TEST: Took the Duolingo Test and got 155

₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ Extracurriculars/Activities:
i didnt plan my extracurriculars in high school i sure did a lot and most of them were scattered out HAHA. jack of all trades, master of none moments. i tried to include mostly my media and writing related activities. aside from the ones i listed on my common app, i was immersed in a lot of social justice and political advocacy works + other sports :)

• Elections Project - assistant project head of a city wide youth elections project where we conducted mock elections, podcast interviews with politicians, and daily news coverage of the national 2022 elections.
• National Newspaper - writer contributor of a political editorial article to a national newspaper
• School Play on Social Justice - wrote and directed a play that tackled social justice issues in the country, I was the overall head of the class project and the play had runs with audience members from invited schools
• Student Council - was the student body vice president (junior year) and student body president (senior year), I was the main organizer of projects and events such as the annual school carnival, christmas fundraiser, student assistance programs, family day activities, etc.
• School Newspaper - was the news and sports editor of the school newspaper for 3 years, i also competed in journalism competitions as the representative of my school paper
• Dance Varsity - was part of the hiphop dance varsity team of my school for 4 years, we won in many national competitions
• Photography Business - owned a mini-photography business for 2 years at which I was mostly working on freelance photo editing
• International Screenwriting Competition - won 3rd place in two screenwriting competitions during my junior year
• Elderly Volunteer Organization - was part of an organization that conducted monthly outreach programs to the elderly, I served as the treasurer of the organization for 2 years
• Tutor Services - worked as a tutor of an organization that offered free onsite tutor services to elementary children, i tutored language (Eng and Fil) subjects

₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ Awards/Honors

• Academic Honors 9th-12th Grade
• Leadership Recognition 9th-12th Grade
• Community Service Recognition 9th-12th Grade
• Awards for Journalism Competitions
• Awards for Screenwriting Competitions

₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ Essay

• Common App Essay - went with prompt 3, wrote about my favorite author and how my reading habits mirrored my flaws in handling everyday life. 8/10 could have been more fleshed out and i crammed it first week of Jan.
• Supplementals - yeah I just copy and pasted a lot of these from my supplemental essays to other schools. 7/10 to 8/10

₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ LORs

• Media Studies Teacher - 10/10
• English and Literature Teacher - 8/10

I did not read the letters but im basing it on how much they like me as a student. I chose these teachers because I got high grades in their subjects and they got PhDs.
₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ Interviewss- I got none and I was too busy to go for optional interviews. I really did not display any demonstrated interest.
₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁ D*ecisionss *(ALL REGULAR DECISION, actually I filed my international applications late like 2-3 weeks after the deadlines because I was in a depressive episode last January)
ACCEPTANCES

• UPD, UST, ADMU, DLSU (Top 4 universities in the Philippines)
• University of Denver - Dean Scholar (29k) + International Diversity Award (11k)
• Brandeis University - Presidential Scholarship (15k)
• Syracuse University - Dean Scholarship (10k)
• Marquette University - Pere Marquette Scholarship (29k)
• Hofstra University - Presidential Scholarship (29k)
• Drexel University
• Rutgers New-Brunswick
• University of Maryland
• University of Massachusetts Amherst
• PennState

WAITLISTS

• Wake Forest University
• Franklin & Marshall College

REJECTED

• Kenyon College
• Sewanee College

₊˚⊹♡.𖥔 ݁Reflection
well that was krazy HAHA. ik many people here showcase ivies and T20s and im not that remarkable with my t40s to t100s but i'd like to think its not that shabby for an unknown international from a third world country. my biggest regret is not applying for NYU, its my dream school but again considering my depressive episode from November to January I wasnt able to file my application on time. its a miracle that universities still accept late applications and im grateful for all that I have and received. If i could turn back time I wish I was a little bit stronger and more stable to have been able to apply for NYU, my common app essay about my favorite author was actually an alumni from NYU :")
but we carry the burdens of choice under the merits of luck; even with merit scholarships, I cant afford any of the international schools I was accepted to. more likely i'll have to attend the top university in my country. but i dont want to give up man i'll still try to appeal for financial aid and if that wont work I'll apply for transfer during my sophomore year to ivies and top LACs that give full financial aid to international transfers. the odds are low but never 0 and no harm in trying !! see you all again next year for my transfer results :]

She called me immediately because she can pick up on my subtext, even though we've always lived at least 1,000 miles from one another. It's bizarre how in sync we are.
She knew from my dumb little joke how I really felt. I would never say this to my spouse, but in many ways, I hate how my life turned out.
I didn't want to be tied down. I wanted to travel the world; work in Antarctica and see Japan. I wanted to cook the most amazing food I never could have dreamed of, drink the finest wines and cocktails. I wanted to be able to fuck whomever I wanted. I wanted to surround myself with people who shared my desire to live life submerged in the esoteric, beautiful, and fleeting moments.
I wanted to live like the world is ending, because every goddamned day, it seems like it is.
I have a good husband. Yeah, he's a lazy stoner stereotype, but he's a good, kind man who's a wonderful father and supportive spouse. He's also an indoor cat who's an incredibly picky eater. I also find him boring.
I mean, dude eats as if you gave a 12 year old money to buy enough food for the weekend and left him to his own devices. I'm talking frozen mini pizzas and chicken nuggets. He doesn't see the value in eating out ever, and has only ever left the comfort of home by my insistence.
I'm not unaware of my situation though. Dude told me from jump he wanted a family. He's never hidden anything from me. He was the only man I'd ever been with who never looked at me with expectation or premise in his eyes.
I picked this. I know that.
We moved here to Maine from the west coast because he missed his family. I'm from the Midwest and I don't have strong ties with my family, so it was an easy move.
I work for a company that works with restaurants, without being in kitchens myself. It was a lateral move so I could start a family. On one hand I miss it because it's long hours for alright pay, but I was exposed to some really wonderful things. My job now is meh pay with restaurant hours that fits perfectly with my husband's work schedule so our daughter gets plenty of time with both of us plus shared days off.
I'm just fucking bored andevery day, I see the hourglass of my life trickling away with not much to show for it. My husband knows this, but not to its full extent. While we don't hide things to each other, I don't share the full extent of my feelings because I know how it will effect him, and there's no positives.
After all, he believes in things like "even happens for a reason", "meant to be", and "laws of attraction". I've tried to with terrible results, but somehow understanding cause and effect makes me too negative. I'm glad these things comfort him at least.
I feel doomed at the shitty situations in the United States that was started when my parents were young. They were sold the American Dream™️, which they passed to my siblings and I. College was a necessity, because that was how one becomes successful. Credit scores were invented in the '80s and wages have been stagnating longer than that. We're wage slaves, and housing and food costs "are out of control", which the oligarchy we live in invented and maintains. The three of us and our two cats are crammed in a 1 bedroom apartment because it's all we can afford.
What's that? Seek help?
I haven't found a therapist that is worth what I pay them, because they don't offer real solutions. I do have a prescription for an antidepressant. This is bigger than that. Lmk if you want my depression playlist.
I want to tear up my life and start from scratch. I wish I had chosen a different path. If I could go back to 18 and rewrite things, knowing what I know now, I would.
I applaud you if you've made it this far honestly. I'm probably going to delete this tomorrow anyway. Cheers. Thanks for reading.

Hi I need some feed back from the community.
I had a crush on girl back in H.S. 1992-1996 we have friends in common. She tried many times talking to me but I was shy to talk her because I really like her. We live in the same area and used to play handball with same people. She tried to say hi which I successfully did say hi sometimes. One time I was with my father a clothing store were she waiving at me but not until was told my father to say hi. I think she like me back then, but was shy to talk to her. She left with her family to Florida in 1995 but she came to NYC and used to see her sometimes she would smile but again I was timid. 1996 I heard she had become a mom. I was sad but I thought I had to move on. After I finish college in 2000 I joined the Navy in 2000-2004 during that time I became extrovert dated some girl, then I got married but lasted two years. I always thought about the crush I had in H.S. When through hardship and the only person that brought me comfort my crush. I then finish my time in the Navy in 2004 quickly join the Army in 2004-2008. I met second wife which at point she was pregnant with my son. At that time we were not married. Also, in the Army when through some hardship my only comfort was my crush and not my girlfriend (soon to become wife). I got out the Army in 2008. My wife at the time my girlfriend never understood that I need time to readjust we separate and the only person who help was my father. I got married in 2013 and got divorce two years ago. In 2008 I joined Facebook and found my crush tried to ad her a friend but I think at the time she was married she never answer. I did send to messages telling her how I felt and telling her that the hardship that I had in the Navy and Army, that I always tough of her and was the only tough that made happy. Second message told her about my feelings and never again message her and left alone. 2009 I started a import business and doing wholes of sock and phone accessories. While all this I finish my second bachelors in accounting 2011, then also when on finishing my Masters in Accounting and Finance and obtaining my CPA. 2013 my girlfriend got married and since we had our son wanted to give a shot to work thing out. I was able to buy a restaurant from a family member and then open another one in PA. I got divorce in 20022 we share responsibilities with my ex-wife for the restaurants that we owe . I always tough about my crush used to look her up from time to time nothing else. I started posting on my Facebook pics me how a look now and make a few real from H.S with my pictures and the 2 months ago I went on Facebook look my crush up and send her a friend request I tough we are 46 we are more mature she has not block or accept the friends request. I'm only following her the cancel request is grey out. Last week I build courage to like one of her posting. I know in her posting she mentioned not having a husband and having a small daughter. I tough there 2 options 1 she blocks or 2 she says notices me. A week later she takes her posting down and then a few days later she changes her profile picture. I was going to like her new picture, I guess she change her setting where only friends can like her new posting or pictures. So I muster the guts and send a message telling her that her hair and eyes look beautiful. I have a gut feeling that she read my message even though in my messenger still say sent. She hasn't block me or anything like that so I really don't know what to think. She still letting me follow her, but sometimes I wish she would block me so it would be easier for me to move on. I'm trying to make sense of this.
I'm just want people though since is hard for me to talk to someone. I tell myself let it go but have to give a shot. Maybe it work maybe not I just have to know. Thanks everyone for the feedback.

Hello my SIL lives out of state and only visits my family during the holidays. It’s always a big commotion whenever she comes to visit. I often forsake my own feelings/experiences to accommodate during her time here since it’s limited. Something happened recently where I feel violated in terms of snooping on my financial situation, I’ve already had previous things violated such as the amount of time I would like to spend with just my newborn and no one else with my husband. I am a people pleaser and often have a hard time saying no. I do not wish to spend any holidays with my SIL or my in laws this year. How do I drop that bomb? My daughter will have her first birthday shortly after the new year so I’m wondering how to navigate that. I do not wish to do Thanksgiving, Xmas, twice every year. And with Halloween especially I never thought it would be something I have to spell out. But I only want my nuclear family there and every year my in laws just love to invite themselves. I’m so sick of fighting over these holidays that seems to not push my own family further and further apart. Any support or guidance would be appreciated.

I (47M) have a complicated relationship with my stepmother (68F). She has been significant in my life since I was 10, and while I appreciate the role she played in my early years, our relationship has become increasingly strained. She nurtures grievances and brings them up repeatedly; believes her memory is infallible, but her stories change over time, generally to my detriment. My father (73M) enables her and won’t stand up for me.
Trigger:
Mother's Day this year was challenging. I had flown into NZ from Melbourne early Sunday morning to join my partner (43F) and her family to celebrate her grandmother’s 90th birthday. The day was hectic and stressful. By the time I woke up, my partner and her daughter (11) had finished their Mother’s Day activities. We were rushing to pack the car with my belongings and leave. My partner’s daughter had extended meltdowns during the 7-hour drive home. With everything going on, I forgot about Mother's day and did not call my stepmother (or my mother).
The Argument:
A few days later, I called my Dad to prepare for our regular video call with my Dad, stepmother, and sister. He mentioned that my stepmother was out and told me to call back later. I suggested I just video chat with him and my sister at that time, but he hesitated, eventually firming his mind and telling me to call later when my stepmother was home because she wanted to check something with me.
I called them a few hours later while I was driving. During the call, when I asked about how my stepmother was, she launched a passive-aggressive attack, saying, “How do you think I feel?” It took me a few moments to work out that she assumed I had been around Mother’s Day celebrations in New Zealand and ignored her in Australia. My stepmother then brought up a supposedly forgotten birthday from over ten years ago, recounting details that I have no knowledge of.
In a moment of frustration, I challenged her Christian beliefs by pointing out that she wasn’t being very forgiving. Seriously, I had tried to apologise, but it felt like I had to relive all of her hurt in this process. I’m not particularly proud of this, but I was furious and lashed out during this attack.

After the call, I responded to my Dad’s text: Ok to phone now. I don't think it was ok to phone, Dad. I know it's not your fault that I forgot Mother's Day, but that was an ambush.
No. Not ambush. You need to be able to discuss the impact of your action/inaction on those who love you. You hurt her!
I spoke to you this afternoon, and you gave me no indication of this. That was an ambush, and I found it very hurtful also. Maybe you didn't mean it, but that's how it feels.

TLDR
My stepmother was hurt by me not calling on Mother’s Day. I feel she used the situation to attack me without any empathy. Her rehashing of past grievances makes it hard to move forward. In a moment of frustration, I pointed out her lack of forgiveness isn’t Christian. AITA?

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/JazzlikeOriginal358. They posted in AmItheAsshole
Trigger Warning: discussions of transphobia
Mood Spoiler: moving in a positive direction
Original Post: March 22, 2024
I'm having a bit of family drama and need a reality check about if I am being unreasonable here. I really need the perspective of LGBT+ sensitive individuals because the drama surrounds transphobia perpetrated by JK Rowling.
My step daughter is going through a pretty tough time. The last couple years have been really rough on her. She has been dealing with bullying at school, being held back a year, not getting along with her mom's new husband, self harm and identity issues. Lots of questioning of her sexuality and gender. (We have been working on getting her a good mental health team of doctors and therapists to help her navigate all of this, please know we aren't throwing her to the wolves or internet to deal with it all herself).
I've been in her life since she was 7. We've always had a pretty good, though not terribly close, relationship. I have not taken on a parental role, but have always tried to make myself available for her.
Until last year, her mom had primary custody and her dad had weekends with alternating holidays. Last year due to the issues with her school and mom's house, my stepdaughter requested that custody arrangements be changed.
Since she came to live with my husband and I full time, there has been quite a bit of friction between the two of us. One of the biggest points of contention is my Harry Potter fandom, particularly "The Bookcase", and my supposed transphobia (due to my apparently "wrong" stance when it comes to the politics regarding trans issues in our country)
I grew up in the hayday. So many of my childhood and teen memories are tied to the franchise. My friends and I were all really into it. We attend midnight book releases, dressed up in costume for movie releases, threw HP themed parties when we wanted to hang out, etc. In many ways it shaped the course of my entire life, those same friends and I joined our high school's botany club because herbology. That unlocked a lifelong passion of mine and my career is working with plants.
Over the years I've collected quite a bit of memorabilia, many of which are gifts, and they have always been displayed on my most prized possession. A monstrously large custom bookcase my grandfather, a former woodworker, built for me when I was a teenager. I love this thing. The shelves are live edge black walnut slabs. All around the casing my grandpa carved beautiful HP themed imagery. Owls, cauldrons, shooting stars, lightning bolts, an adorable little rat at the bottom and nibble marks from said rat, etc. It's both sentimental and valuable (the slabs of walnut for the shelves alone would be pushing a grand, let alone attempting to value the hand carved craftmanship). The bookcase has always been proudly displayed in my home. It currently lives in our living room.
During one of our family therapy sessions, my stepdaughter expressed that seeing my HP shelf made her feel really uncomfortable because of the author and that she was really disappointed in me and her father for being so supportive of a biggot. I apologized for making her feel uncomfortable in her own home, and said that I would take down the HP stuff.
So I packed up all the HP themed merch off the shelves. Made sure I didn't have the books or anything on display that said "Harry Potter" anywhere. I bought some LED grow lights and converted the bookcase into a plant shelf to display succulents. I bought some witchy, but not overtly harry potter, themed pots for the little guys so they'd go with the shelf.
This was not an acceptable compromise for my stepdaughter and has remained a point of contention. With my stepdaughter hurling that I/we (referring to my husband) broke a promise by saying we would get rid of the Harry Potter stuff. I tried to explain to my stepdaughter that, while I do not agree with JK Rowling's political stance at all, the media has a special place in my heart because of my childhood association with it and that the shelf was very important to me because it was a gift from my grandpa, but she maintains that none of that should matter because in 2024 it is nothing but a symbol of transphobia and hate.
At first my husband was supportive of me and my desire to keep my bookcase, but lately the arguments are wearing on him and he asked me if I would reconsider keeping it in the living room. Suggesting we rent a storage unit to house it in.
After the most recent blow up about it, I kinda lost my temper. I didn't yell or anything, but I did very firmly tell my stepdaughter that this is my home and my bookshelf stays. If it is such a big problem for her, she can always go back to live with her mother.
I knew it was a low blow pretty much as soon as I said it. I quickly apologized but it was out there. My stepdaughter has been on an emotional downward spiral.
My husband and I have been arguing almost nonstop. I think it is mostly stress because he is at his wits end with how to help his daughter but he is becoming pretty mean and nasty towards me. Telling me to "grow up and just get rid of the fucking bookcase"
I know I was a dick for saying my stepdaughter could always go back to live with her mom (and I suspect that will be the main topic at hand in our next family therapy session).
But am I really being unreasonable in wanting to keep my beloved bookcase?
EDIT: Thank you everyone. Honestly. Thank you for those who shared their insight and advice and thank you to the people who have asked me hard questions that made me think. Especially those who asked what matters more, a bookcase or a/my child?
I've been reflecting really hard on what my bookcase means to me an why it is so important. I'm hitting some deep truths I don't think I was ready to recognize about how I really feel about my relationship with my step daughter.
All in all I think we just need to shelf things until our next therapy session. (I'll see myself out...)
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Can you temporarily put it in storage until she’s off to college, then take it back out? That way it will be safe, and everyone can take a deep breath and calm down a little.

OOP: I looked into storage units when my husband suggested it, for the size and climate/humidity control we would need it would cost us approximately $7,500 to store my shelf until she goes to college.
It's cost prohibitive.

Commenter: Why can't you just move the bookcase into the primary bedroom?

OOP: It's 7' x 4' x 1', made of solid wood, and we have a L shaped stair case.
The only way it is going upstairs is if it is completely dismantled and rebuilt. I don't have the skills, knowledge or tools to do that and hiring out a task like that is cost prohibitive especially because it would have to be done again when moving the bookcase back out.

Commenter: NTA. You need to put that bookcase in a room with locks, because your husband is going sell it or damage it.

OOP: My husband isn't an emotionally unstable monster. I don't believe he would ever do anything like that to me. I wouldn't have married him if he was that kind of person.
(to another commenter): I have absolutely zero concern about my husband doing anything to it. He isn't that kind of person. He is incredibly stressed out about all of this and has said shitty things in anger but this isn't some tv show where he and my stepdaughter are going to have daddy and daughter bonding time with a sledge hammer.

Commenter: I think he was just frustrated and worried about his daughter. Hopefully you can talk it out with him and he will apologize for the "grow up" comment.

OOP: That is my impression in regards to him too.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to see your child suffering and not being able to fix that pain.
I've been doing my best to give him grace due to the circumstances.
It is something we will address when he has the spoons to do so.

Commenter: One question: who owns or rents the house you are living in? If it is yours you can suggest that your husband move out and get a place of his own to his daughter liking

OOP: My husband and I purchased it together. We are both on the mortgage.

Commenter: Then time to figure out who stays, who goes, and how the equity...if any...is split.

OOP: I don't intend to divorce my husband and throw away a decade plus long relationship because he said one shitty thing to me during a period of great stress for him.

Commenter: If he destroys the bookcase to show solidarity with his daughter, what will you do?

OOP: Have him pink slipped.
That is not the action of a reasonable adult. I would be very concerned for his mental state.

Commenter: I wonder if she made similar unreasonable demands in her mother’s home or at school that lead you to the conflict there?

OOP: Part of the issues with her homelife with her mother involved my step daughter demanding that her mother choose between her now husband and her because mom's husband's political views.
So, this isn't exactly left field behavior.

Commenter: Your stepdaughter needs a massive reality check and probably different therapists.

OOP: oof. We are on our 5th

More on therapy:

Yes. She meets with a psychiatrist as well as her therapists.
(to a different commenter) We are in family counseling already. Couple's counseling is likely to happen if there isn't a resolution to this current bookcase issue in the very near future.

Commenter: Info needed: what is your ‘wrong stance’ when it comes to trans issues?

OOP: I'm kinda middle of the road when it comes to the trans political issues, and mostly take the stance of "I don't know, I have my own feelings about the issues but as it is not my area of expertise I am not beholden to them and I will leave these big problems up to the people who have made learning about them their focus of study"
Like, I get my feathers ruffled when medically uneducated politicians try to interfere with any kind of health care. Like seriously ruffled.
I believe that people facing gender identity issues should have free and easy access to health care and therapy to navigate those issues.
I believe that society in general should strive to use preferred pronouns if only as a matter of politeness.
But when it comes to things like trans people in sports or having afab only "safe spaces" - I see both sides of the argument and refer back to my "I think this should be left up to the people who focus on this and not form a super strong opinion either way based on my lay opinion"

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 12, 2024 (1.5 months later)
Some one asked if I could update this situation, and I'll try my best to summarize the past several weeks.
My husband and I spoke about the situation. He apologized for being snappish with me, and agreed that SD was being unreasonable about the bookcase. He ultimately agreed to back me about it. He and I are just as tight as we ever have been.
I once again apologized to my SD for the remark I said out of frustration about her moving back with her mom. I reiterated that our home is her home too and she is always welcome here. That even though families sometimes fight and disagree we ARE family.
But the general argument about HP, JK Rowling, and my bookcase continued to escalate for a couple weeks. And then the discontent about that started to bleed over into complaints about me. She started to be more disrespectful and sarcastic.
During all of this we were still attending our family therapy sessions. Our therapist was pretty certain that the misbehavior was anxiety related and didn't suggest that we give in to the demands to have the bookcase removed and wanted to just keep working on the things we all have been.
Well, SD's disrespectful attitude hit a climax. She called me the c word and some other choice things within my husband's ear shot. My husband honestly kinda lost it on her. I don't think I have EVER seen him that angry before. He was bright red and vein popping angry as he marched her to her room and declared "YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO MY WIFE IN SUCH A WAY".
This was probably the first time my SD had ever seen her dad angry, let alone anger directed at her. It left her pretty shook. Like that was her rock bottom. We ended up needing to do a couple emergency session with her counselor because there was concern about her relapsing with some self-destructive issues she has been working on.
But that incident lead to us having a break through. Her counselor invited my husband and I into one of her sessions, and she had a bit of a break down. Basically she was dealing with a lot of existential dread and a lot of fear due to politics and it being an election year.
That ended up being an excellent opening for us to bond. This is gonna sound silly but I was able to pull up my social media timelines back from 2016 and I showed her some of the things I had written or had shared with me back then.
She was able to see that I shared a lot of the same fears that she has.
So we have all had some really big talks about things like feeling helpless when things are out of your control, about disengaging from the media machine for your own mental health, etc.
Things have been on the upswing since then. Before she left for her mom's this past weekend she even gave me a mother's day gift. An adorable little planter that says Caution: Mandrakes.
I love it. I put one of my favorite props in it and it is front and center on the bookcase now.
Relevant Comments:
To a downvoted commenter:

your continued support of JK Rowling through fandom will likely be an issue for other LGBT people in your life

The only other LGBT person in my life sent me bertie botts every flavor beans in my christmas package this past year...
Commenter: This poor girl is terrified of being kicked out from another set of abusive parents and is forcing herself to buy merchandise to support someone who wants her dead to make her stepparent happy. This update is horrifying, for real.

OOP: Hope you stretched before this reach.
SD was not kicked out of her mom's home. That was a choice she made. She is in no danger of being kicked out of our home either.

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Suzanne thought it was absolutely brilliant of me to put books on a flash drive for Sun. She explained that Sun wasn’t as sophant (her word, not mine) as she might seem, more of a repository of information, but she was fairly intelligent. It was how she was able to connect Andrew being in pain to the fact that I was friends with Andrew, and that I would want to know that he was in trouble. Apparently some of Sun’s species had given some ‘wisdom’ to others in the past and it had made its way into mythology.
The key fact was that she was not smart enough to protect herself and her kind from the clever, organized poachers. With that information in mind, it was fascinating for me to think of how Sun took in and organized what she learned. It was almost as if she was a walking, talking library.
On the topic of tours, my first one went wonderfully, and I’m almost hoping Suzanne lets me do more of them. I know not all the tourists are going to be as awesome as these people were, but Suzanne gave me a lot of slack when it comes to dealing with them. She actually said that being a smartass is not grounds for dismissal, and that if I’m sarcastic or facetious to guests who are being ‘daft’ and they complain, she really doesn’t care. Is this the perfect job for me or what?
There were four guests in this party, two adults who were sisters and two children of one of the women, brothers aged thirteen and seventeen. The tour was a birthday gift for the older of the boys from his aunt, since apparently he was passionate about animal protection and conservation.
When they arrived at the front gate, I was sitting at Andrew’s desk, going over the booklet of information one last time. When the visitors pressed the button that sounded the alert buzzer, I tucked away in a drawer and let them in. I did have a cheat sheet with information about the animals on my phone just in case, a brief notation of each of them and which enclosure they were in, but I really didn’t need to use it.
Exiting through the front door, I saw them walk up the path toward me. “Hi, I’m Ripley,” I said, holding out a hand toward the woman closest to me.
She shook it firmly. “I’m Denise. This is my sister Carla and my nephews, Wesley and Jason,” she said, motioning to each of them in turn.
“I heard it’s your birthday,” I said to Wesley, giving him a smile. “You’re interested in animal conversation?”
“Back where we live, yeah,” he said, nodding. “The animals that you’ve got here are incredible. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Well, I can’t wait to show them to you,” I said. “Right this way.”
I led them on the path around the building, toward enclosure one. Despite the horrific memories of the animal killing Stanley’s friends, I knew it was just an animal, and I had to push past my feelings on what had happened. Keeping a small smile on my face, I motioned to the enclosure. “Fiercely territorial and amazing hunters, despite their large size, they’re arboreal and known to dart from tree to tree with barely a sound. This is one of only about two thousand left in existence.”
“Two thousand, three hundred and fifty six at last count,” spoke Wesley, his eyes on the trees.
I blinked, surprised and impressed. “Well that was fantastic. Do you plan on stealing my job when you graduate?”
Wesley looked at me with a grin. “Nah, everyone knows Suzanne only offers humans this gig. And I want to help animals like this one get off the endangered species list. The zoos are great for awareness and fundraising, but then the money has to go somewhere. I want to be doing the real work.”
“That’s really great,” I told him. “I wish you all the best in that career path.” At that, we saw the animal climb down from the tree, wandering a few yards from the tree line. This was because 90% of the time, when humans were at their enclosure and making noise, whether it was speaking to each other or calling out to the animal, it was someone bringing them prey to eat. Or, in my case, enrichment toys to play with.
“Whoa,” Wesley whispered.
“How close can we get?” spoke up Jason.
“The warding starts at the fence,” I told him with a small gesture. “So, just there.”
Both boys wandered closer and I glanced at their parents. It seemed that Suzanne’s zoo had a serious reputation for high quality invisible walls, because they didn’t look worried in the slightest about the boys being hurt or killed.
“They prefer dense forest as their home and have been known to make their nests in trees up to twenty meter in the air,” I continued. “And when hunting, they’ve been seen dropping eight meters straight down. They have incredibly dense yet flexible musculature, which allows them to tackle their prey without injuring themselves.”
There was more information about the animal that I continued to rattle off, though Wesley chimed in at certain points with the info I was about to convey. That was highly entertaining and very cool. When I’d been in school, I’d never met anyone who had my level of passion about endangered animals. I wondered if things were better where these folks came from, but realized that considering there were so few of these animals left, I guessed not.
The animal paced a little bit, seemingly waiting to see if we were the kind of humans that came bearing food, before deciding we weren’t and climbing back up into the trees as easily as I would climb some stairs.
As we moved onto enclosure two, Jason spoke up. “Are there any animals here we can touch or feed or something?”
I sighed inwardly before slowing to a stop. “Well, can you show me your hands?” Jason looked bemused, holding out his hands. “I mean…they both look like they’re in great shape. You can stand to lose one.”
The two women chuckled and Wesley smirked as Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very funny.”
Grinning, I started walking again. “The animals here are all carnivores and all predators. You get to see them, but that’s it.”
“Alright.”
When we reached enclosure two, I started on my next spiel. “We’ve got three reanimated dead in this enclosure,” I spoke. They were just coming out from the trees as we arrived, presumably having heard our approach. “Marissa, Connor, and Bradley. They were donated by families who knew where they would be exhibited. Their next of kin, whoever they are, can’t stand the idea of putting them down. But we need to make sure they don’t have access to corpses, because one of them plus one corpse equals two of them.”
“They eat flesh though, don’t they?” Wesley asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah, but it’s from bodies that have already been dismembered. There’s no chance of them being affected by the transformation because it’s all parts.”
“Oh, got it.”
The creatures with blueish-white skin had superhuman strength, which is why they qualified for the security of Suzanne’s zoo. They also were likely the source of any Earth tales of people being brought back to life as zombies, specifically draugr, according to my research. They smelled like rotting flesh, so even as I kept talking about them and giving a background to the people they used to be, we were quick to move on once Wesley had gotten a good, long look at them.
“Enclosure four’s animal is a vampiric spirit. He’s a small, hairy humanoid creature with pointed ears. He wears a hat, and if he somehow loses it, he freaks out,” I said.
“They eat horses,” Wesley noted. “Also anything that gives them the chance to sit on it, usually catching them by surprise while they’re sleeping.”
The creature came out from the brush, giving us a suspicious look. He wasn’t in his humanoid form though; for some reason, he’d chosen to shapeshift to a dog.
I nodded. “Yep, indeed. Once the prey is dead, then he’ll eat it, and he has a voracious appetite. We have two wolves and two bears in the forest, which is one of the reasons I’ve got some self-defense items,” I said, patting my belt where my pepper spray (rated for bear) and my taser. “But the wards keep them out of this area of the zoo, so it’s really not much of a worry. It’s also a known shapeshifter, preferring the form of a dog, as you can see, as well as a cat, a snake, or even white butterflies, though the last one is rare.”
“The white butterflies are supposed to be a sign of good luck,” Wesley said, glancing to me. “Too bad we got the dog.”
“Yeah, otherwise you might be able to talk your mom into getting scratch-offs on your way home, huh?”
Wesley smirked at me.
The next enclosure was Spike, and he was waiting for us, dripping wet from having just emerged from the lake. I gave the introductory information about him, which included his propensity for eating animal eyes, nails, and teeth. “Recently, I’ve given him some enrichment activities, and I learned he likes artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts,” I said, taking a bag out from my cargo shorts. “Wesley, do you want to toss this bag into the enclosure?”
The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded excitedly. He took a look into the paper bag before wrapping down the top to make sure nothing would fly out. Then he chucked it underhand past the fence. It landed a few yards from Spike, who waddled over to it quickly and tearing the bag open, spilling out the prizes inside. As the animal ate the pecans and hazelnuts, Wesley asked, “How’d you figure out he likes those?”
“It’s not all about taste,” I told him. “It’s mainly the difficulty of getting them out of the shells. He’s used to having to work for the parts of his prey he likes the most, so this mimics that activity, and he enjoys the process. I tried a bunch of different foods to find a few he liked.”
“Cool,” Wesley murmured, staring at him.
We watched Spike eat until he’d finished and then he went back into the woods, leaving us to move onto enclosure five. Japanese camellia were plentiful here, a type of pink flower, and that was because they grew anywhere near one of his species made their den. “This girl spends most of her time in the lake also,” I said, as the creature made its way toward the fence separating us from it. “But as you can see, she’s just as curious as the rest about what we’re doing here and whether we have food for her. She eats fish mostly, but she also regularly gets live prey.”
This creature was a spider-like monster, having six legs with long claws on each, and the head of an ox with two sharp horns. She was capable of shapeshifting to look like a human, but I guessed that she wasn’t fond of it, since I hadn’t yet seen her in that form.
“She prefers the easy way of catching prey, so to speak, by hiding in the lake and pouncing when something comes for a drink of water,” I explained. “Apparently humans are some of her favorite prey. She has an advantage of being able to spit poison, which often hits her prey in the eyes. But it’s usually used in defense rather than offense, since it secretes a limited amount.”
“What kind of animal would even go after something like this?” Jason asked, staring at her.
“Never discount one of its own species when you’re thinking about what might attack an animal,” I replied. “There are places that are breeding all of the animals here, but competition for mates is common. That means an advantage in a fight, like poison or venom, can make or break who the winner is.”
“Ah, gotcha.”
“It can’t spit past the warding, right?” Carla suddenly asked.
“Oh, no,” I assured her. “We’re fine. The wards wouldn’t let anything cross over.” She nodded, appeased.
The animal in enclosure six was the ginormous seal-hippo, Fiona, and she was looking at us as if she was imagining sprinkling us with herbs and spices and stuffing us in an oven. “This girl is one animal I’m going to work on enrichment activities for next,” I told them. “She prefers to feed on crayfish, though she’s happy to eat any humans that wander into her territory. She’ll even make a sound like a baby crying to reel us in. I’ve heard it a bunch of times.”
“Can you get her to make the sound?” Jason asked, perking up.
I grinned. “Not on command, sorry.”
“What enrichment are you thinking of trying?” Wesley asked.
“Possibly food placed in puzzle feeders,” I told him, “since she has claws that are pretty dexterous. Maybe a piñata made out of newspaper with flour inside, or a scarecrow that mimics a human.”
“Awesome,” he muttered.
After a little more educational tidbits, we moved onto Yui’s enclosure. “What is that?” Wesley asked, smiling.
“I got Yui the closest thing I could to a ping-pong ball,” I replied. “She quite likes it.”
“That’s so funny,” he said as she came out of the trees in her spider form. “I mean, the idea of her being a bloodthirsty hunter who seduces men to their deaths and eats them alive, but then on the other hand, she likes playing with something like this.”
“It is a little funny,” I agreed. “But when it comes down to it, all the animals here enjoy activities besides hunting.”
“She can shapeshift to look human, right?” asked Jason, trying to be casual about knowing something factual like his nerdy brother.
I nodded. “She looks like a woman from a region of Earth called Japan. And she’ll use strategies like holding out a hand to shake to get you closer. She tried that on me when I first got here but, as you can see,” I said, holding up my hands and waving them, “I didn’t fall for it.”
The boys both laughed as they got closer to the fence, watching her slowly pace near the trees.
Next was Sun, but she didn’t make an appearance as I spoke about her species. “Well…unfortunately we can’t guarantee that every animal comes out to say hi,” I sighed. “But…oh wait, here she is.”
The green lion with several horns and many eyes along her flank came out from the forest. “Hello,” she spoke.
“Hi, Sun,” I replied. “We have visitors.”
“What’s that?” Wesley asked suddenly, pointing at the small plastic bag that was still where I’d left it.
“Oh! That is Sun’s enrichment,” I said with a smile. “I put dozens of books on a flash drive and found that she can read them just like she’d read a shelf of books.”
Wesley’s eyes widened. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve read about anyone trying that before. That’s really cool.”
“The books are new and interesting,” Sun spoke, drawing our attention. “I’m grateful for them.”
I nodded to her. “You’re quite welcome.”
The next animal, unfortunately, wasn’t there, and we waited around for ten minutes as we discussed him. He was large and reptile-like with red eyes, with its hind legs and tail making him look vaguely like a kangaroo. Then, enclosure ten was a terrifyingly disturbing creature, the not-a-centaur with no skin, that I’d only seen a few times while walking my route. It gave a good demonstration of its ferocity, showing its sharp teeth and snapping at us a few times.
“I’m thinking of trying salt licks and other horse enrichment like a big bouncy ball,” I told Wesley, whose eyebrows went up at that. “Maybe give him more things to forage like scattered grains or a box filled with pinecones and seeds. Foraging is a huge part of a horse’s life in the wild, and humans have to do a lot of activities like that to keep pet horses busy. Of course, he also loves the little salt-water lake that was built for him.”
We spent some time looking at the animal before moving past our last stop, the empty enclosure of the animal was stolen. Carla glanced at me with a sad smile, knowing what had happened, it seemed. I gave her a nod as we continued on our way, walking into the office. “So, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves!” I said with a smile.
“That was the coolest birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” Wesley said, looking to Denise. “Thanks so much, seriously.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said with a nod. “I’d never been here before, and knew I’d find it fascinating. Thank you for the educational aspect,” Denise said, glancing at me. “I learned quite a lot.”
“Happy to hear it,” I said, returning the nod.
As I escorted the guests out of the zoo and locked the door behind them, I reflected on how much I’d changed. The first time I’d seen Yui’s tarantula form, I’d nearly passed out from fear. Now here I was, walking tourists around like it was no big deal. Humans really can adapt to anything, it seems.
That afternoon, Suzanne had texted me that she was coming by after my shift, and I met her in Andrew’s office, shutting the door to the security room behind me. “How’s Andrew?” I asked first thing.
“He’s doing well,” she said with a wide smile. “Back on non-hospital food. He’s allowed to order food on his phone, and to hear it from him, that’s the best news he’d received in a long time.”
I chuckled. “I guess some clichés are true for a reason.”
“Indeed.” She took a breath. “All right. Ripley…I would like to discuss something with you.”
My face went slack at the serious tone in her voice. “I’m not… Am I being fired?”
“What? No!” she exclaimed. Then she chuckled softly. “No, it’s nothing like that. Just, here, let’s have a seat.” Suzanne walked over to the couch and sat at one end, and I took the other. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, that I wanted to keep from you until you found your sea legs here.”
“Well…I have,” I said with a nod. “So, what is it?”
Suzanne took a breath. “I knew your mother.”
The words hung in the air for a moment before making their way to my ears. It was a perfectly logical sentence, and yet it didn’t make any sense. “What?” I finally managed.
“When you graduated college, I decided to move the zoo from Italy to within driving distance of your home,” she said softly. “Near enough to your town that you’d see the advert. We ignored any other applicants and I hoped you’d apply. Actually, I expected you’d apply. Not just for the money, but considering the field you wanted to go into. As soon as I’d found out your major, I knew.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How do you know Patricia?”
“She owned the zoo before I did,” Susan explained. “Fourteen years ago…she was working to track an injured animal that we could bring into the zoo and she was killed by poachers.”
My heart calcified in my chest and a lump lodged in my throat. As my breaths became shaky, I stared at her in shock. “She…she’s really dead?”
“You suspected?” she asked softly.
“It…” I swallowed hard. “We had her declared legally dead after…I don’t know, seven years I think. My dad wanted to go after her for child support, but the police said…they said they couldn’t find…” Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them back before I met Suzanne’s gaze. “She owned the zoo?”
Suzanne nodded. “It was her baby, you’d say. When Patricia passed, I inherited it, which we’d discussed beforehand, a legal just-in-case that I never expected her to need. I’m under the impression that you were told she went to Africa for her photography career, but she was in fact going to remote areas back in my home world almost every time.”
“But I-I saw the photos,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “You’re telling me she put on a show of getting pictures that someone else took for us to see every time she visited? Did my dad even know?”
“I suppose that’s an accurate way to put it, putting on a show. And no, your father was never told. It’s not the way of things to tell humans unless it’s necessary. I won’t bore you with the details, but us and humans, we’re distant relatives, so we can still have children. But it wasn’t planned. Your mother fell in love with your father despite herself; she hadn’t meant to find love. Then she became pregnant with you and…well, the rest is history.”
“I think she had a different definition of love than the one I have,” I said tightly. “You’d think she’d have put her survival as more of a priority. Put being with the man she ‘loved’ as a priority. Her kids needed her. I needed her. She signed up when she became a mom. She could’ve screwed up all the time but she couldn’t even manage that one job: be there. When I was in the hospital, I kept thinking, ‘Where is she?’ and now you’re telling me that she put these animals above being there for her kids, and this whole time she’s been dead.”
“The hospital?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
“Never mind,” I said tersely, averting my gaze.
Suzanne hesitated before she nodded slowly. “I’m sorry for your loss, and not just for her death, Ripley,” she told me. “Patricia was…well, a ‘free spirit’ would be putting it gently. She always assumed the world would be there for her whenever she needed it.”
Staring at her for a long moment, I shook my head. “Why? Why come here and hire me?”
“I thought that would be obvious,” she said, smiling. “Your mother was so passionate about this place and once I found out your college major, I figured you would be as well.”
“Did you know that I hate her?” At that, Suzanne’s expression froze on the edge of shock. “She…she left us,” I whispered. “Didn’t tell us who she was or what she really did for a living and gave us no closure. And even when she was here, it was just visiting. Her real home was her work. She could give me all the presents she wanted, but even when she was here, half the time she was still on her computer doing work. It’s not like that stereotype of never making it to my tennis practice or something; it’s that it always felt like she was only partially here, even when I was sitting next to her. I don’t even know if I appreciate her turning me into a wildlife fanatic because it…it…makes me feel like I’m close to her in a way that’s just infuriating. She loved the animals more than she loved us.”
“Oh, Ripley-”
“Don’t,” I said, shoving myself to my feet. “Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”
“I wasn’t going to,” she said quietly. I pursed my lips. “I was going to say that I’m sorry that was the case. Your mother was…flawed, just like any other person. She had two loves in this world: her family and her work. And often, her work overcame her, her zeal for environmentalism getting in the way of being a good mum. She left your father trying to fill the role of two parents, holding your family together. You and your brother and your father, you all deserved better than that.”
My lower lip quivered but I bit down on it hard. It would’ve been a lot easier for me if she’d been speaking from a place of clueless reassurance about all this. But everything she said was making sense and that meant I didn’t have someone in front of me to be angry with.
“Why didn’t you tell me when Andrew hired me?” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch.
“Well, like I said, I wanted you to find your sea legs,” she said with a small smile. “I didn’t want the truth affecting whether or not you wanted to work here, whether you wanted to stay here after finding out about what the animals are. It would’ve complicated things, the emotions you’ll have to work through now that you know the truth. Whether or not you decide to give another tour, you also know what they’re like. That’s the benchmark I wanted you to reach before you found out about who you are.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Who I-” My face went slack. “Wait.”
Suzanne nodded slowly. “You’re only half human. Your brother too.”
The room seemed to tilt on an axis for a moment. “That means I’m also half…what?”
“We call ourselves Eldritch, these days,” she replied.
My eyes bugged out. “What?” I exclaimed. “So you’re all, like, gods or something?”
Suzanne burst out laughing. “Oh no, goodness, no,” she chuckled. “It’s just a word. We live in a very different world from this one, and a few generations ago we discovered the word and it made its way into our lexicon. But it does mean you can see all the animals. Indeed you did, on the tour you gave.”
“Wait, no, I had the glasses that…” I stopped. “Did those glasses do anything?”
She gave a sly smile and shook her head. “Not a thing. You made incredibly quick progress, and then when it came time for the tour, all you needed was to expect to see the animals, and you did.”
Genetics. That’s what Andrew had said during our interview, that part of how many animals you could see was determined by genetics. I guess having a mother who was originally from the other dimension gave me all the genes I needed to see everything here. “Could I…visit your world?” I asked tentatively. “You said that my mom took photos of the animals there. Could I…” My voice trailed off, not even sure if or how I wanted to finish that sentence.
“Those who are half human, especially those who are raised on Earth, don’t come visit,” she said gently. “I could show you some photos of other animals, and I could loan you as many books as you’d like, but it’s simply not a place where you’d be safe.”
“Oh,” I said, leaning into the couch cushion as I pictured the animals in the zoo. “Yeah, actually that…makes sense.” I paused. “So, what now?”
“It’s up to you,” she said. “I wanted to wait until I was sure you were comfortable with your position here, and then put the ball in your court. And so it is. What do you want to do now?”
What did I want to do? It wasn’t that difficult a question, just a deep, serious one.
I wanted to thrive, as the animals did. This is my enrichment now, working at an incredible, wonderful, terrifying zoo. The experience so far hasn’t been perfect, and I know there are risks, but life isn’t about staying safe. It’s about learning new things and making a difference in the world. And, if you’re lucky, having a job that’s something really special.
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THE END
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