I’m fucking insane. I’m fucking done but I’m not done. I’m ugh. I’m so fucking tired. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of hurting. Or not feeling anything. I’m tired of wanting him. I’m so fucking done.
I want him back but I don’t. Idk what I want. I feel nothing.
I feel like shit after talkng in a group chat with some women in my area. I feel like shit. I was a child. I was confusing. Im 20 and they told me I was a child. Augh. I feel like shit. I know they mean well but it hurts. I fucking hate myself. I hate myself for wanting men. I hate myself for wanting bumble bro. I want him back but I don’t. I’m dying. I’m so fucking done.
I wanna fucking kill myself so that no one ever has to see or hear me talk about him. I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I wanna be dead so people never have to hear about him again. I wanna be dead so I can stop wanting him when I’m about to start to my period.
Idk what I feel or want. Idk. I feel nothing. I’m so fucking numb. I don’t even want to die. But like I want to be gone. I want to disappear.
Augh I fucking hate that I want him. I want to stop wanting him and it keeps coming back to me. I want it to stop. I want it to end. I’m so fucking done. I’m so fucking tired of this.
I fucking hate myself I can’t even feel anything. I want to die so that no one has to ever hear about him. I feel like shit after talking to all those women. I’m so fucking done. I know they care. But I fucking jaye it. I hate life. I just want someone. I want a friend. I want a boyfriend I want intimacy. I want feelings. I should have enevwr trusted thay Facebook website. It felt like everyone was upset at me and I know I was shitty but I didn’t even realize I was being shitty.
I’m so fucking done. I wanna be dead. Think. He’ll never have to hear about me again. Along with discord boy. Along with 8th grade boy. Along with everyone whoever hates me or dislikes me. I don’t want to do anything this summer. I just want to recover from one of the worst years ever. But I can’t. My parents will get pissed if I don’t get a job. I just want to stop existing. I need a break from social media I think. From Facebook at least cause those girls kinda made me feel shitty. Not because they’re mean. Not cause they had had it ent. It’s just cause I’m a fucking mess and no one should have to deal with me. I left once cause I kept talking about bumble bro. Augh. WHY DID I UAHE TO BE SO STUPID. WHY DID I JAVW TO WANT HIM. WHY CANT I NUST GET OVER HIM. STOP RHINKING ABOUT HIM. IM SO FUCKING DONE WITH IT. I JATE MYSELF. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELD. WHY AM I SO UNLOVABLE. WHY AM I SO EASY TO USE AND ABUSE. why did I have to be so stupid.
I can’t even think. I can’t think of anything. It hurts so much I’m numb. I need help. I want to give up but I can’t. I can’t give up. I want to give up. I wanna kill myself so everyone knows how fucning fone I am and how they’ll never hav to deal with me again. They have to be tired of me. They have to hate me. I hate myself.
I want him back or something. Idk angmore. I just want to be dead. I want to not exist. I want to stop thinking about him. I want to be done. And done. So no one has to deal with me. Ans I hope that none of these girls see this cause I don’t want them to feel bad. They’re real. They’re honest. I’m senstive. God I need help. I wish it were over. I wish I were dead. I can’t feel anything. I need help. I just want to feel something. I feel horrible. But I feel. Nothing at all. I’m so fucking stupid and sad. I want to be dead.

This is a follow up to this post https://www.reddit.com/GayBroTeens/comments/1akyx0l/came_out_to_my_school_in_a_muslim_country_today/
Turns out, my class ain't exactly as accepting as I thought they were. They're currently now avoiding me like the plague. I feel like people now only care about who I wanna fuck as though it's the only side of me that exist.
I'm happy that I can be out to someone but now i'm just a one dimensional gay guy who creeps around. I've tried to talk to people but they seem to think that just talking to me would get me interested in them. Any time I think some guy would actually be (at the very least) treating me nicely, it turns out they have some kind of weird innate distrust of anything I do. I could literally walk around a room and they will speculate on my next 'target' when I was just going to the toilet.
I was once a pretty shy kid, never talking if I didn't have to. I'm semi out of my shell rn but I still don't really know how to interact with people. Anytime I wanna talk to people, it just becomes awkward. I just really want a friend but people seems to think that I just want a "friend" with the word "boy" preceding it.
Even when I get to talk to girls, they'll think of me as their mandatory "gay best friend". I constantly hear other people talk shit about me as though i'm just an imaginary rainbow powered robot that walks and talks, not like an actual human being.
Perhaps I pretended to hit on someone because people thought it was funny. I just wanted people to be happy and laugh. I don't want them to be sad or bored but perhaps I misplayed a move. I'm sorry if I played too far into the stereotype of the heart shaped pupil gay guy. It's my fault for being too short-sighted to see what kind of trouble my actions would bring.
Is it bad that I regret my actions and want to change it? Is it too late now and I should bear any bad repercussions that comes my way? Is it bad I want to change course because i'm afraid of the consequences?

I know Jesus is your best friend now. Love is surrounding you in a way I will never comprehend until I am there with you ❤️ I'm still down here though, I'm living & learning without you ❤️ I went to a restaurant with a patio today. I know those were your favorite.. especially at nighttime ~ super brownie points if there was a fire to sit next to. 🩵 I experienced the trigger of a life time. I sat there as it began happening and had to distract myself to keep from crying. The sky was beautiful. 🧡 The air felt blissful. It breaks my heart.. The darkness of life took you away from me & I had to watch you struggle to climb out of that darkness. 🙏🏼 Alcohol took your life away & when you would be able to defeat it & the real you, the man I married, the husband who loves me more than anything on this earth was able to be the one doing the talking and walking... Those moments were everything. I wish you didn't have to fight that fight. 🌷 Even you didn't want to do the things you did, but whatever was inside of you was out to get me and you. 💚 I am thankful before God called you to be looking down on me from above instead of into my eyes by my side that you found Him again. 🧡 Your heart was where it was supposed to be my love 💕 & I hope you're getting the most amazing moments with your dad, I know you missed him more than anything. 🩷 I remembered at the restaurant today when everything went white at that bar and I had what I could only guess was an anxiety attack. I wasn't drinking, but I told you I was scared and I felt like I was going to fall. My body got hot & I got weak and dizzy & you pulled me on top of you & kept running your fingers through my hair until I could see again. You told me I am okay, you had me, you would never let anything happen to me, and how much you loved me & how beautiful I am.. until I could see again and my strength came back. 🥹 I miss you & I'll always love you.. 💞. I know alcohol was a demon and it always was, but I always picked you. No matter what. I hope you got to see the story of your life and got to see how much I loved you. How you were the only one. I've got a lot I've had to heal from and there are some small remnants left but none of my story would have been successful without you. The good and the bad. 🧡 I love you.. yes I am still your noodle ~ Disney princess ~ snow white 🥰 I was so lucky to have been able to love you and be loved by you. Please tell Jesus I love Him so He hears it from you too. 💚

I (M22) dated my now ex girlfriend (F23) for about 2 months, she was my first ever relationship, and we shared a lot of similar experiences in life and had and felt we had a lot of compatibility.
All throughout the relationship I tried to be there for her the best I could be, and understood that we both had issues in our pasts that we needed to address, but to be there for each other and take things naturally as they came. I felt though that she was always withdrawn in things, and seemed not to be 100% in things, feeling almost like she was trialling me of sorts.
about 3 weeks ago, she dumped me over text, didn't explain to me why and just said that she felt that I wasn't benefitting her at all in the relationship, I tried to save the relationship and told her that I do really care and wanted her in my life, but ultimately fell on deaf ears.
I talked to a mutual friend last week and found out that she had been talking to her friends about me a lot and taking their opinions about me as highly important, even though I have never met any of these friends. Apparently her friends are highly protective of her, which I appreciate, but they decided that somehow because I had apparently one similar trait to her toxic ex (what this trait is I'm not sure), that I must also be a highly toxic individual and therefore I would eventually hurt her and therefore she must end things before I did, which she followed.
It really sucks because I really cared for her and wanted to only be a positive impact on her life and had absolutely no intention of being toxic or putting my needs before hers, and was willing to grow as a person in order to be the best partner for her I can be, but she decided not to give me that chance. I find it really difficult to let go of people that I consider close, as I don't have many close people in my life and so losing someone always affects me deeply.
I know I should move on and in the grand scheme of things 2 months isn't that long, and while the idea of being with someone else isn't an unattractive idea, I'm scared that I won't find someone who understood me as well, as our shared histories allowed us to relate to each other a lot. despite the short length of the relationship and the time its been since, I still really miss her and wish I could just fix things and make it work again.

My eldest, 5M, has insisted on joining the football (soccer) league. All the boys in his grade are in the league and have played a prior season; this is my son’s first.
However, at game days and training days, he’s lost. He doesn’t have the ball skills the other kids have (surprising despite their age) and he doesn’t know what to do (he ends up just following behind his teammates aimlessly).
I’m more than happy to teach him or even just kick the ball around with him but he never wants to… in the backyard with me, he’d rather play chase… he doesn’t like structured play.
Any tips to get him into it more? He definitely wants to play in the league, if not to do well, then to be part of the group.
Am I expecting too much? He’s literally the worst player and he makes up for it by clowning around. I fear this will affect his confidence long term.

You never know which word will be your last.

UMA Language sits in the eighth seat of the Dark Roundtable. Her existence provides the foundation for spoken communication between beings. She appears in Nico's lab in Soul's attempt to kill Ichico before she can inform the Union about the power of souls. Then she makes her enemy 100x stronger and sends an exploding star into her home base...ah, eto, bleh.

Key

Scaling

• Andy / Undead
• Feng Kowloon / Unfade
• God
• Ichico Nemuri / Unsleep
• Nico Vorgeil / Unforgettable

Notes

• Feats are listed in order of appearance. Hover over a link to see the chapter(s) of origin.

Non-Rule Feats

Physicals

• Blocks Andy's soul bullet
• In the middle of a dust explosion, fine
• Half of her face is charred after Feng's soul blast that kills Luna
• Dies when her version of Sun is killed by Soul

Other

• Can fly, or at least hover
• Appeared inside the Nico lab and turned Zack into a throne
• Can see Ichico's soul
• Returns to Phase 2 from Phase 3

Superior Master Rule: Language

Core

• Still capable of playing shiritori even as she dies
• Weds Nico and Ichico with her final word in shiritori, which also loses her the game and evaporates her being

Phase 2
Shiritori
Creations

• An iron meteorite that breaks Nico's faulty Aegis
• Eruption
• Lightning that blows up Lan in a dust explosion
• Lance of Longinus, which breaks Nico's black metal
• Shen Long, which kills Ichico's umibozu and survives a blow from Feng until he goes on to pulverize it
• Evolution sends her into Phase 3
• Supernova
  • Even pushing Sun off the planet would fail to escape the detonation radius

Rules

• Uses all languages in existence, manifesting what is said to fight the other person's word
• The portion of her soul within her shiritori creations allows her to take damage
• Within her game, it's possible to summon souls back from the subspace afterlife

Other

• Mutes Fuuko, Isshin, Top and Julia
• Her hemisphere-scale language absorption can go even bigger, as she threatens to collapse civilization with it
• Skewers Ichico on a blade that appears from her book

Phase 3 (All Shiritori Creations)

• Evolution sends her into Phase 3 via the harvested languages, which changes the rules to allow two words per turn instead of one
• Sol and Luna summon the gods' avatars, and while she is incapable of summoning 1-1 versions of them, they still:
  • Get kicked in the face really hard by Feng
  • Biden blast Feng
  • Can't be beaten singlehandedly
  • Heal themselves after Feng and Ichico's attack
  • Tank a nuclear bomb & railgun shot (though it destroys one arm on each
  • Require understanding souls to land damage on Luna
  • Sun holds firm against the Soul Dreadnought weapon attempting to push it into the wormhole until Feng adds his energy to Nico's effort
• Balmung and Excalibur, which kill Feng and Ichico's soul
• Gae Bolg and Gungnir
• Ikutachi and Chandrahas

Sorry, Sou. I lost.

Hello everyone! I wanted to write and share something constructive for this space, that hopefully goes beyond snarking specific names and personalities and helps those who have been harmed in one way or another find a bit of understanding around what happened to them and why.
I've shared pieces of my story here before but the gist is: I am not from the coaching world. I'm from the general spirituality world - from a spiritual modality that has an aspect of divine feminine and divine masculine that has always interested me, but few others in the community. I learned about this whole specific mess listening to love & light confessionals, and went deep into the rabbit hole. The perversion of understanding of masculine/feminine energy dynamics was horrifying but also enlightening. I'm big on learning how NOT to be from people who give me the major ick. This is why I've done a lot of deep diving in general on cults, gurus, and manipulative spirituality in general - and there's a lot to take away if you can go in with this mindset. I'm also hella autistic and love infiltrating niche internet subgroups whose experiences are much different than mine so I can - again - learn from the experieneces of others, and gain more empathy and understanding of the vast human experience.
I was a very forward facing person for the nonprofit I volunteered for for over 4 years. There was no "guru" that I supplicated, however there was a person formally in charge who abused their power and the willingness of others to help the organization, and was known to be cruel in private, when it suited them. I didn't see this person as above me - in fact in a lot of ways they were quite pitiful and needed a lot of help/support in their role - which is what I did, willingly and for practically free. At one point, the entire org sat down and did a call in of this person, however, they were able to push everyone that they couldn't control out of the way and rewrote the story with themselves as the victim (we all know this one). The final falling out happened at the end of 2019, so luckily for them Covid gave them some time to figure out how to run their events without me (they hired a paid staff).
Anyway, I gave many many hundreds of hours to this cause, and then the person in charge was able to take advantage of me and then push me out of the community I had served very seriously for 6 years with rumors that I had been trying to steal money. This is so far beyond the truth, and everyone involved directly knows this, but no one came to dispell the rumor. So, I've been heartbroken by supposedly "spiritual" leaders of a community, that's for sure. In fact listening to Katya was part of the cult deprogramming that me and a group who had left together went through (this group also used, abused, and betrayed me but that's another story!)
So, this isn't going to be about me, I just wanted to share my background. This is about what the divine feminine and the divine masculine "REALLY" are. This may get a bit woo in here but I can't imagine anyone here is afraid of woo. In fact it's the mystery of the spiritual experience that allows these people to cause so much harm. So let me try to remove some of that mystery.
The creation is polarized, in many ways. One of those ways is masculine/feminine. The masculine force is the will, the conscious mind, and that which puts the infinity of possible experience into order. It in and of itself is quite fallible. The feminine force is the subconscious mind - all that is - and the untapped potential of this reservoir. The masculine reaches for the feminine, and if the will (masculine) is properly configured, the unmanifest creation (feminine) will give him something in return. The masculine NEEDS the feminine but the feminine doesn't really NEED the masculine, however it does desire the masculine's attention being focused it its direction (instead of random mundane wordly experiences). And the feminine wants the masculine's attention consistently, lest the feminine will not be consistent at all in its response. This attention can be forceful or gentle, but it must be consistent.
Every human has a balance of masculine/feminine energy in them, and while women are socially conditioned to tend towards feminine expression and men towards masculine, biological sex really has very very little to do with it. There are of course, positive feminine expressions and negative, and positive male expressions and negative. What these polarity goons do is mostly focus on a mix of positive/negative masculine expression for the man, 0 female expression, and then only positive feminine expression for the woman with maybe, possibly, a bit of positive masculine expression (only during working hours when you're in seperate offices, and only if you're paying the bills, ofc)
Typically, we are attracted to partners who "balance" out our spiritual energy - so the "polarization" in a relationship can be anywhere from hyper masc/hyper femme to barely masc/barely femme - and again, this is NOT a hard and fast rule and has almost NOTHING to do with sex other than a general (mostly cultural) bias. The hyper femme/hyper masc scenario can definitely be more, well, exciting and dramatic than a relationship between two people who have very little polarized charge in that way between them. But that's likely why few of these polarity gurus have any experience in longevity of relationships - they are fueling their "twin flame" relationship with manufactured drama and trauma bonding. In reality, in a relationship, you are supposed to grow together and be more willing to meet each other where you are at in the moment, instead of demanding they be a near perfect idealized form before you offer them any attention/respect.
The reason these male teachers push polarity doctrine is literally because of their own wounding of the expression of the masculine/feminine. Men (especially USian men) have been taught that expressing any aspect of their feminine selves is repulsive and weak and probably gay. So, their solution to their own inability to be vulnerable is to attack women - for being "too masculine" - aka some balanced expression of both, normal! They want their women to be 100% pure unformed childlike energy with no will of their own, just a will that can be given to the man. They want them to embody this feminine space as close to 100% of the time so that they are forced into their masculine 100% of the time. Girlies, if you are in your masculine, this makes them feel more in their feminine and - gosh that's just icky and disgusting. You don't want your man to get a boner for you when you're in the masculine - that might make him GAY! In the very least it's totally beta to be attracted to a masculine woman and basically gay anyway. No thanks!
I'm sorry to be facetious, but this is in general a lot of the subconscious and even sometimes conscious thought processes behind these hyper polarity relationships. These are not evolved, embodied people. These are people who are still very invested in the old fashioned human status quo that has served them for a long time. We had the thread a few weeks back with the Desire on Fire lady (ugh her name escapes me) talking about how her husband had to "put her in her place" for being "too masculine" and how he really just "didnt want her" when she was in her masculine, when she was literally just running her business. Masculine wounding almost ALWAYS shows up as men being jealous of women being better at them in their own field - or really successful publicly at all - and this is why women STILL have a hard time breaking into male dominated spaces. We are systemically kept out because men die inside when they feel inferior to women. They were told this wasn't supposed to happen!!!! In fact, the person who spiritually abused me was a man - I see now how he "kept" me as a pet because of my high standing in the community. But this meant I was still firmly below him in certain ways - a much more comfortable place for me to be, someone who challenged him on his "expertise".
This polarity movement is taking a true spiritual concept and distorting it just to set women back. They don't want you to have an opinion or agency - other than "me want money" and "me want sex". They want you to play on Instagram all day and recruit ladies for them to sexually assault at your joint "retreats". They want you to only feel valued if you're made up and dressed up and "desired" by men. None of this internalized self worth stuff, only external male validation is allowed. Ladies, if any of you reading this are with some sort of this type of man, please, I beg you, choose the bear. This is the type of man who leaves you as soon as your body culminates too many signs of being aged. They are entitlted to a specific cartoon image of what they think a "woman" is, and sadly this culture has made young women INCREDIBLY easy to manipulate, so finding another partner is often quite easy for older men. It's all by design.
Here's another spiritual truth that is often obscured: One of the polarities of divinity is the left hand path and the right hand path. The left hand path is the path of control, wealth, using others, egocentrism, etc. The right hand path is about acceptance, generosity, helping others, and sacrifice. The middle path is a path with little to no power - it's the path of comfort, the path most people are on.
When one walks the middle path - i.e. has not really begun to truly develop their spiritual side - they do not yet have spiritual discernment. What happens when they come across someone who has been using spiritual principles to "build their wealth/power" is that they see someone with a spiritual light - and this isn't super common on social media. When we're hungry for it, we're like a moth to the flame. That's why they always know they'll be another mark. The problem then is when we don't have discernment, we cannot tell which "hand" the light is coming from, and often it's very easy to confuse the left hand for the right and vice versa. For instance, I am giving up a large part of my day to write this purely to help others in this community - Carly or MAL or someone might stumble upon this and see it as "evil". But that's because they see the light, but to them it's against their light, so I'm the evil one. But all I'm trying to offer is freedom of mind, and they're mad because they want your bag, and this is dependent on you being confused and them keeping a crumb of clarity behind a paywall. 💰
Now, some of these girlies are walking the "left hand path" a lot better than the others. I dont know many coaches beyond those talked about here, but I would say someone like MAL has a pretty firm grasp on who she is - a scam artist, a liar, and a user. She's always making up stories and whatnot - she's a pathological liar. She will do anything to get her way. This is pretty serious when you've been behaving this way for years and years. Her image is very rigid and polished, and despite showing up unprepared and offering word salad to her paying persons, her "outer circle" (social media feed etc) is much more curated than most of the other coaches I've seen. She's at the top of the pyramid so she has a huge amount of control and influence. If she cracks someday, we'll see it, and usually people struggle to return to the top once they falter. I'm sure she's already showing some signs of paranoia, which is the first sign a high control person is starting to become unhinged.
Then there are the messier girlies, like Carly, and Karen who has recently been more thoroughly exposed here. These ladies show up very vulnerable to social media, and often are struggling with illness - as someone has said here before, Carly's early coaching gigs were about health and dealing with chronic illness, until she realized that space wasn't sexy or profitable. I'm not saying this is the root of all illness, but transient illness can be a sign of a spiritual mismatch in intentions/action - especially with these people who claim to be "healers" or adjacent to that space. You have to walk your talk, or your body begins to show your hypocrisy. There is a part of these ladies who feel they are truly "helping the planet" and get confused internally when the reaction of their "offers" isn't for people to fall down at their feet worshipping them. This is why they say stuff like "wealth is a mindset!" and other magical thinking - most of them have lived privileged lives and have never been "out" of abundance. They think their "luck" is a carefully curated vibration that they can rub off on others. And like, while I believe that being in the vibrations of someone who is more spiritually mature can help "elevate" someone - these people are playing with spiritual practices and, while seeing some results, truly have no clue what they are talking about and dealing with. People who truly understand manifestation, whether left or right hand, are not busting their ass all day on Instagram trying to recruit lukewarm clients for peanuts. Carly tries SO HARD to sell that all of her work is "easy" and she can "take a walk in the middle of the day!" and not work while she's bleeding and whatnot. But girl, you're hustling and thirsty all over Insta all day every day - this is not abundance, this is not wealth and gratitude, it's giving "big empty black hole in my soul that will never be filled except with more money" energy, babe.
Then there are the girlies like xogingy and The Content Queen whose whole brand seems to be just being a mess all over the place. This sells because it makes people think "well I'm messy maybe I can be messy and rich/successful" but the mess for these girls is much more embraced and embodied than with the prim types like Carly and Karen, who want to be pure luxe and sexy and divine feminine perfection. But the luxe and sexy types are really doing the recruiting for their sexual in-person retreats (or clothing optional zooms) because they're just mega horny all the time (which - btw - is another sign of spiritual imbalance)
And that's the thing - being horny all of the time means your energy body is JACKED. It's not a sign of a free flow of creative energy to crave sex all of the time. Of course a major aspect of this is the sexual magic - yes, there is magic in sex, and I think it's where these folks get most of their magic, because they follow left hand sexual magic practice exclusively (control BDSM). They do play rapes (and borderline real rapes and, in some cases, actual real rapes on their clients/partners), orgasm denial, humiliation, pain rituals - all stuff that truly, objectively, isn't good for the soul. And notice how it's almost always one sided - the male being in total control of the female - though, Carly's substack did have a story about how they did a "role reversal" where she raped/humiliated him and that was um, something I read. 😳 But generally it's the women's job to always be turned on and "dripping wet" and whatnot, so that when her masculine partner gets a boner she's ready for him to slide it in. And then that's always the best sex, the sex that you "surrender" to.... On the contrary, sex between "right hand" practitioners tends to leave both partners feeling quite satisfied and sated - heck, even if only one happens to orgasm! Whereas control oriented sex often has orgasm denial which intentionally leaves the person craving more.
All this is to say, no one should feel guilty for being duped, or conned, or confused, even still. Almost all of these people have weaponized spiritual concepts in some ways and are wielding them with the intention to separate you from your money. They actually do have something that works. But they will NEVER sell you the whole story. And the fact is, this experience likely did happen to you because your soul was aching for some sort of uplevel - or initiation. It's just that initiation rarely looks like getting what we want. MAL et al makes it look like initiation is giving a rich lady 5 figures, popping a bottle of champagne, and roleplaying as that rich lady to which you just gave all that money (or at least, roleplaying as her social media feed). But if you're truly in it for the soul, your experience is going to help you uncover your soul. And part of uncovering our souls at this point in time seems to be having some serious spiritual trauma. And I know some people here probably only did this as "playing around" and not serious and unfortunately, playing with spirituality can be can be dangerous in and of itself. These is not to victim blame at all. It just is the nature of the spiritual path that it may growl and bite at you to test your growth. It's not just a sexy pleasure party 24/7, unless you want to step on a LOT of people to get there.
Anyway, this is very long and I'm not sure it's going to even fit into a reddit post at this point. But I just wanted to share some of the spiritual insights I've had over the years (been on my spiritual journey for over a decade at this point). I don't know it all, but I do know that I live with a general peace of mind that I wish I could sell in a coaching package or voxer group. But I can't/won't do that. So I'll keep to my lifelong duty of making longwinded, mega autistic posts on internet forums that might help a few people orient to a less painful or confused frame of mind, free of charge.
But on that note, before I finish, I'll offer my general spiritual advice: Firstly, take a short time every day to do some sort of sitting/meditation. Learning how to quiet the mind is a skill, and it's the first skill required to learn discernment. Once we can quiet the mind, we can start to learn which thoughts are our own and which thoughts we have absorbed from others - and if you haven't begun this process yet, you may be surprised to find out that the vast majority of your thoughts are actually just society, family, teachers, social media, advertising, etc etc, repeating in your mind and taking up valuable real estate. This is the real hurdle to "manifestation" - clearing away all the false desires that get in the way of our true desires. Subsequently, learning about chakras and tuning into my energy body has also given me a good base for insight and clarity that comes from within my own body.
Secondly, just try to think of others before yourself more often than not. Don't justify manipulating people for your own benefit. Oneness means you treat others how you want to be treated - in a gentle, and nurturing way. When we harm others, especially from a spiritual place, we perpetuate harm, and therefore accept that potential harmful treatment of ourselves. Treating others sincerely with reverence and respect, and setting boundaries so that we don't allow people to treat us with disrespect, is how we generate a reality that treats us with reverence and respect by default. A lot easier said than done, but it is possible.
Love and light to you all.

Lately, I've been feeling frustrated. It seems like every time I trust someone, they end up letting me down. It's like a never-ending cycle of kindness turning into betrayal. It's wearing me out, and I just wish I could find someone who won't disappoint me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of constantly feeling let down by people. It's like I give them my trust, and they just throw it away without a second thought. It makes me hesitant to open up to anyone new because I'm afraid they'll end up hurting me too. I just want to find someone who will stick around and prove that not everyone is out to betray me. It's a tough spot to be in, feeling like I can't fully trust anyone anymore.

Texan here. I was told by my dad that we can’t/couldn’t afford a lawyer and by my d/a that if I went to trial I would absolutely be arrested. Yet I was having a seizure during the event. I was living in a motel and trying to pay my rent. Next thing I know I’m in a jail cell for five hours, still in a delirious state. It’s been months and I was under the impression that the case would be dropped given I didn’t know the child and his mother aka the people who assaulted an epileptic having a seizure (me), I was just trying to pay rent and I wasn’t in control of my actions. There are laws set up to help epileptics but I wasn’t aware of them and just signed the papers they pressured me into signing at the court office because my dad and the d/a told me to. I never got an opportunity to explain the situation to the judge and it felt like the d/a was just trying to get the situation over and done with for his own greater good. I had plans. I was supposed to move this year and now I’m stuck in Texas for being assaulted during a seizure. I don’t care what happened during it, if you willingly attack someone who’s obviously not in their right mind you are the one assaulting them. They are total strangers, I have no idea what the pair looks like because I have never seen them aside from during the seizure. I’m being punished for being disabled. Does anyone have any idea what I can do here? I do not want 40 hours of community service, anger management classes and 16 months of probation for being disabled.

Today, I watched the anime ghost in the shell 1995 for the first time ever. I was impressed and the OST, making of cyborg, will be the music for this post as I type. I think the world is like ghost in the shell, a dystopia.
Lately, people think I left or died. Either way, it doesn't matter because no one would care. I am still here, even if people forgot. I think this subreddit is weird, a strange community. I am a hikikomori, who exists in silence. Even online, reddit, people will pull others down, bias and herd mentality.
I can't express what I think, so I won't say what I would like to express about this subreddit, but it is hard for hikikomori to be here.
What I see of this subreddit is that it is mostly just homebodies, neets, and normies. If you like the label of hikikomori, then by all means go ahead. I just won't agree with you, silently.
I am hikikomori, not neet or hikineet. Even if I wanted a job, I can't consider since no one would ever hire me. Hikikomori have no interest in jobs. The bias, people play favorites here, it is sad. Herd mentality, people want to see everyone see and think the same, popular opinions. There is no reason to be here, as a hikikomori, I don't see why people insist, I am only lurking. An elitist sub is no fun, but that is what this place is. it is also filthy, for those who can see.
Posters are just feed for online consumption and entertainment purposes. Nobody is your friend or anything. Others will be the clown?
It is a kind of flawed platform, like all social media, popularity. But, popularity doesn't mean it is good, thank you.
I am still a severe hikikomori, a virgin, a male yandere, never been in a relationship, have any friends, and a failure. Of course "hikikomori" appear who have no true hikikomori struggles in this sub. I guess it is easier to be fake hikikomori than real?
My hikikomori existence, is a joke? No one can believe me when I say I have it the worst, it is concerning, but again hardly anyone has lived like a severe hikikomori as me.
Someday, I will see the light at the end of an endless lonely and dark tunnel. It cannot come soon enough for me.

Full disclosure this was more a failed attempt at pettiness than actual wedding drama. It was the late 80's. My then fiance and I were invited to a Hawaiian themed wedding reception at a condo complex rec center. The couple had already tied the knot in Hawaii, thus the theme. The groom and my fiance were buddies. I had met the bride before and we got along fine, but we were not what you would call friends. I went out and found a pretty pink Hawaiian floral strapless dress for myself and a nice peach colored shirt for my fiance. I knew the dress was a bit sexy, maybe too sexy, but I was 24. I would never consider myself a great beauty, but I was not completely unfortunate in the looks department back then. Besides, the only other option had been a MooMoo. Yuck! I did wear a little white bolero sweater for covering up to the reception but it was summer, so I eventually took that off. I've always been busty and I had nice figure then. The girls and I rocked that dress!! I didn't really know anyone there, so I stayed close to my fiance. I don't recall dancing and was most likely not drinking because I had to drive. We basically just stood off to the side socializing. I did notice some guys seemed to be lurking close by, but by no means was I behaving in any way to draw the attention away from the bride who looked lovely on her day. Several months later it was my wedding day. Of course they were invited. She shows up with her B-cup bust pushed up as high as she possibly could. I'm not even sure how she managed it. Tape maybe? I knew immediately she was being petty, but I found it more humerous than anything else. I told her she looked great and thanked them for coming and then went on to have a great wedding, with great food, joined by my great friends. My marriage didn't last, but I got two awesome kids out of it. My youngest will be 30 soon.

You loved and gave it your all.
You had the opportunity to experience what many people do not ever experience.
True love.
A love that even after they shredded you to pieces and regurgitated the remains, you can say that your soul is at peace with the fact that they are now at peace.
When you looked yourself in the mirror, deep into the pits of your weary, forsaken, eyes and tell yourself that you're still beautiful and still worthy of a great love.
New memories are yet to be created with someone new.
Someone who will set your soul on fire, and no, it won't be the same as before, it will be a different sensation, but one that you've never had...that person will give the "why" it never worked out with your last.

I really, really want to text you and take it all back. But then, reading our messages from yesterday, I know I did the right thing. At least, I don’t deserve this kind of suspicion of being a brainwashed idiot for sending you memes and news links about topics I care about. I also think I deserve more attention and affection and love. Yes, I like being independent and also like what we had, despite the long distance. I like having time to myself to enjoy my hobbies, but maybe that is because I cannot share any of them with you. I love how good you were to animals and how kind and gentle you were, friendly and understanding. But I feel like a lot of times you did not go out of your way to make me feel happy and took me for granted. Yes, I know that I have acted rudely at times, my words are a bit blunt when I get upset, but I apologized and tried my best to avoid all the topics or actions that you don’t like. Meanwhile when I tell you to stop doing something or to do something specific it gets ignored. I don’t know, I think I just miss the company and the security of knowing that I have someone by my side who will be there for me, although I could rant about the most upsetting things and all I’d get in response is a “oh no…”. You were not there for me when I was stressed out, you never asked me about my day or how I’m feeling, and although I’m bad with emotions when it comes to everyone else, I did do my best to give you all the attention you deserve. When you blamed me for "always being sick" when I had chronic pain, I think something inside of me died. That is 2 years ago now and while I'm better, I still go out of my way not to mention any issues I have with my body or when I don't feel well because it might be a burden to you. I feel like you had very little interest in me because you took me for granted, and when we were hanging out, you were just on your phone all the time. It felt so lonely being at a cafe where everyone is talking and paying attention to each other and I look at you while you’re on your phone and then just reluctantly go on my phone as well. It hurts to have my hobbies talked badly about or shown little interest. You dislike most of what interests me, games, perfumes and shows, you don’t care for what I like or makes me happy and put it down. I asked you about how your games were going when you played Fifa, and when I mention anything that I’m doing there’s zero input coming from you. I might as well talk to a wall. Maybe it’s a communication issue, but I honestly think you just don’t care about me the same way I care about you. This is why… it is probably for the best that we broke up. And probably why I was hoping for a way out. If you hadn’t said those things that day, we’d probably still be together, but these thoughts were always on my mind, and they probably would have destroyed me and my self-esteem in the long run, the way they have up to this point. It is not like I haven’t brought these things up before either, and we had many opportunities to fix them. I think you deserve someone you can show pure affection to, where it comes easy and I don’t have to force you into doing something you don’t want to do or are uncomfortable doing. I wish I could be fully myself around you, but when I am, it is not what you want, so I think it’s time to let go of it all. Goodbye.

This is a dumb question with an obvious answer. What do you do with all of the stuff your baby accumulates and grows out of?
We have been immensely fortunate to have so much of his stuff gifted and donated. I'd love to pay it forward. There's a very very good chance that Baby Dude Bro will be an only child. My friends are either childfree or have kids years older. He has two older cousins and may not have a younger cousin anytime soon (infertility is heartbreaking).
I have been frequenting the children's consignment store but they won't take everything, especially if it's out of season.
I have donated half empty boxes of diapers to the local crisis maternity home.
I do not have FB and refuse to reactivate my account just to post things on a buy nothing group.
What do we do with things that don't have a future home but can't be donated? The bouncer chair with the corroded battery case (we just never used that part), the 4Moms chair with the mobile arm that doesn't attach fully, the stacks of clothes, the toys he'll grow out of?
Is the obvious answer Goodwill?

I'm in an incredible relationship, my boyfriend is wonderful, of course we have disagreements sometimes but we resolve everything by talking and that's amazing. Anyway, I'm a jealous person but I ended up getting worse over time, I don't like being like that, I just can't control it, the thought comes and makes me sad or angry. However, I know I have this problem and I control myself/ try to convince myself that it's all in my head, since my boyfriend never gave me reason to feel jealous.. I trust him too much, it's something about myself, I don't know what to do anymore. It will probably only get better in therapy i hope

Hi everyone,
as a preface, I am currently looking for a therapist to help me with this but that takes a while and I wanted to get some input from people with lived experiences. As a heads-up, I will be talking about my personal struggle with my (male)body and sexuality so if you would rather avoid confronting a similar part of yourself, please feel free to skip this one :).
Also, I am thoroughly inexperienced in this area. If I am saying something that might be insensitive, please to tell, I want to be better.
So for starters I am not out to anyone (even myself). I am currently AMAB, straight, have identified as such all my life and use he/him pronouns. However, I have never felt "masculine"; neither in actions, nor my body.
After many years of slight doubts that I suppressed over and over, I want to finally figure out what I really want/am. I am exhibiting some signs of transgenderism, but I am finding it hard to entertain the thought that I really might be. I am currently just dabbling in thought experiments towards slowly loosening my self-image of "just" male some and I have no idea where this might lead.
As for my actual experience, I have always been the "soft" guy. I danced, sang in choirs, liked to go shopping, enjoyed nice clothes, was mostly friends with girls in high school, hated anything stereotypically "male" and it is and always has been hard for me to connect with other people on that "male" friendship level. I have never, however, had the urge to actively outwardly be more feminine either at least when it comes to anything related to mannerism or dress. It's more when I look at the kinds of social interactions my GFs/sistemother have had with their friends, that I find myself craving similar connections.
My biggest inner struggle is permanently my relationship with my body. In a nutshell, I hate my exterior genitals. I will avoid looking in any mirror, only wear tight underwear that prevents me from noticing things moving around. If I'm having a good day and, say, look down while wearing swimming shorts and I see the outline, my mood sours. I cannot really enjoy receiving intimate attention where that thing is the focus (receiving oral is terrible) while I adore giving pleasure. This makes equitable sexual relations ... a struggle (also I consider myself somewhere on the demi-greysexual side). I have felt like this in some way for probably 20 years (I'm 34 ... kinda late to the game of questioning my gender). I experience pretty strong arousal at the thought of being a woman. Whatever sexual imagery I see, whether in real life or in media, I cannot help but imagine myself as the female part. Just seeing male primary genitals is just about the biggest turn-off. I have tried tucking and have had moderately decent results temporarily but have not found it useful or effective for anything more than a quick feel-good around the house and to see how I would feel when I look down and don't see him (spoiler: pretty good). I would like to be better at it.
I don't know that I would call it gender dysphoria though ... I am generally not unhappy living life as a (soft) guy and while I wouldn't mind exploring some and see how I feel, I currently don't know that living my social life as a woman is what I want. If I could choose to by reborn as a woman, sure, I would say yes but with the path I am currently on, that seems very far away.
I guess I am just confused and finally want to address it and try to do justice by myself. I would be grateful for any insights, experiences, resources, kind words, smiling faces :) Y'all are fantastic and I love the positivity here! Cheers!

Received this letter from my Nmom April 15, personal info redacted and annotated in bold italicized square brackets:

Dear [my name],
I am writing this letter to apologize to you. I did not know when I would send this to you as I did not want to disrespect your request of no contact. As the situation with Daddy’s health has brought us near, I I decided to give it to you. [For context, she was near because 6 months ago she bought an apartment down the road from my dad’s who literally lives in a different country. I was there because my dad recently had the palliative care talk from his doctor]
Firstly, I know you would not have cut off contact with me last year unless you felt like it was the healthiest thing fore you to do. I understand my contribution to your pain, and the triggers that made it hard to spend time with me.
I have read your text many times [I sent a text outlining some of my issues before going NC], and I understand how my actions, poor listening skills, invalidation, and minimization have caused you pain, loneliness, and despair. I am truly sorry for the ways I have let you down as a mother. I am sorry that I was hurtful to you. As a parent, I should have protected you more and been more aware of, and more empathetic to, your needs. You have a right to feel disappointed in my that I didn’t do a better job.
I Las understand your needs regarding parents processing their past trauma separately from adult children. I want you to know that I have been seeing a good therapist, [therapist’s name] at [practice name] regularly this past year and have also done webinars and podcasts specific to parent/adult child relationships to help myself and hopefully to learn how to be a healthier parent and person.
I love you dearly and want you to be happy and healthy. I am proud of you for all that you are. I have missed you, [my dog] and [my partner] and being apart of your lives. I want you to know that I am open to do whatever is needed to mend our relationship moving forward.
If you want to talk, I promise to listen purely from the perspective of listening and learning, and not in any way to defend myself. Or, if you would feel more comfortable to do that in the presence of a therapist, I would welcome that also, as well, if there are things you would like me to specifically work on in my own therapy, I would appreciate that input as well.
I love you lots, thanks for reading.
xx Mommy

In contrast, here are some recent emails I discovered between her and my Ndad. Keep in mind these aren’t the only emails I found, just some recent highlights. They’re divorced for 10+ years btw.
2/22/2024

Nmom: fyl I tried to put in a request for session with him [J\shua C*leman], waitlisted untl 2025 but may be helpful regardless of how long this drags out. Provide guidance for amends letter, contact AC, email follow up etc so 995 worth It considering I am now paying 225 per session in *[nmom's city] with not a lot of help as no clue about estrangement logistics [so much for seeing a “good therapist”]
Ndad: Same problem here. Estrangement is an area of expertise not normally covered by therapists which I understand although a relatively new phenomenon. Listening to some of the examples on Monday made me worried e.g. the son in law accusing his wife parents of murdering his 90 year old grandfather. The situations are growing more extreme and therapists seem to be "egging on" their patients. So I agree, stay on the waiting list, for [my brother] as much as anyone.
Nmom: Even assuming [my name] comes around before 2025 we will forever be on eggshells for another episode until proper therapy - I am hoping as in sf she could go to see him +- with me to enlighten herself. We were not perfect parents but the influence from whomever incl [best friend] has to be squashed as not dealing with issues is stonewalling and abusive to us.
I admit that I am having suicidal thoughts about it myself, that is not good but 80% of mothers do.
From his teachings we just have to suck it up or else things get worse - it is not fair but that is the best way.
if I had known I would have kept quite and not defended us - her calling me narcissist triggered me and I even said that despite your tendencies you were not a card carrying narcissist either.
the physical abuse memory I think is exaggerated, I asked her point blank and said i never witnessed it then she back tracked saying emotional abuse is worse than physical anyway. There was emotional abuse but also a lot of good things and I tried to reason that I was under duress and you were not in right mind eep bearing your childhood. She said she had empathy but I got impression it didn't matter we are the parents and she was a child.

3/7/2024

Nmom: I linked in from josh site, looks like his interview not on the free 20+ but interesting to see the garbage out there, mainly spouted by lay people for what it's worth to get behind enemy lines I am listening to some, limited time airing next 8 hours or "buy now” promotional buttons: https://www.avaiya.com/heal-your-past/0305replays/ [link to a website on healing from narcissistic parents]
Ndad: I know, trust me, it's very depressing to see how this has turned out given all the efforts we put in to give them a nice home, schooling and entertainment which we never had. From my own past, I know parents take some blame, but at some point, the kids need to get on with life and stop deflecting all their own character flaws on failed parenting, whether real or catastrophized by therapists.

4/1/24 (a few weeks after reinitiating contact with ndad after not talking for 5 months)

Nmom: Yesterday was a year+ 1 day since I got the email from [my husband about setting NC].
I have been thinking about how odd it is that [my name] cannot appraise any information and critically assess better from the internet or whomever. I thought the whole point of [a high school program I went through 10+ years ago] was world harmony and peace through conflict resolution - didn't she even have classes on all that? Her relationship with [my high school friend group] obsession also odd, she got upset at me once as I could not say [my friend who does not have a stereotypically white name] name right, took offense etc like If's Mary or John. She seems to have to protect [my best friend] or prove that she's independent from us and their interactions last March i was there were trivial and frivolous kinda immature like hard to describe. There was another example earlier I thought of when she was quick to adopt polyamory etc that I thought was not thought thru at the time. Of course I did not debate etc. That was pre-[my husband], soon switched so idk it was like after she saw the NetFlix show on it saying monogamy was abnormal.
Ndad: Yesterday's show was good, and it was fair to say that men and women react differently to the same situation which, I think did create conflict between us e.g. Soft approach vs hard-line approach and then we also had your mother to contend with which didn’t help. But most of these are fairy common childhoods, nothing terrible like the children being physically, sexually abused or even picked on [lies]. In fact, they were privileged, not even helping clean, cook, helping for the most part.
I also feel that therapy is a double-edged sword from my own experiences. A person in emotional turmoil needs careful handling and too often, my therapists would focus on outcomes without looking at context. For example, I don't like XYZ because they erotionally abused me is the outcome, and a biased outcome as well. But the context would be, CYX told the child off because they were rude and offensive. Many therapists don’t care about context, just the outcome. This is wrong and all it does is reinforce the resentment in their patient and does not help the patient be compassionate to another’s position.
Both are mentally ill and not getting proper treatment, [my name] is getting reinforcement from people that are not well themselves and [my brother] is desperate for acceptance from friends to the point of casting everything else aside e.g. family, career, education, ambition, etc. and excusing his behavior as a product of childhood abuse (reinforced by others who have their own agendas). I invited him to visit three times, and each time he didn't call back but instead he decided to help a friend's friend whose mother died while ironically, his own father is seriously ill, hospitalized and unable to walk. [My name]’s obsession with how great other parents are compared to us is also ignorant and seemed to begin around age 14.
Personally, I am on the point of giving up on them. They cause more anguish during this time than all the medical stuff combined, it's distracting, heartbreaking and it's making me sicker. My primary doctor agrees. I gave [my brother] $6000 and $50000 in 2023 and in both cases, he neither called to say thanks or did anything constructive with it. Similarly with [my name], I was hospitalized, seriously ill and she decided it was a good time to cut me off for reasons I don't understand [took a 6 month break from talking and re-initiated contact before this email was sent]. its too much dealing with adult children.

I’m sure some of the letter was taken from something that scummy money grab “therapist” J*shua C*leman has put out, who she seems to have discovered per the emails (censoring his name because I wouldn't be surprised if his deranged ass had notifications for mentions online and who knows if he's working with my nparents or not). Can't wait for him to have his license revoked.

(sorry for quick delete and repost i decided i need to use the throwaway ><)
hi all.....24 y/o girl here. i've attempted sex with varying partners since i was 20 or so, but could not relax enough for penetration. even when i thought i was totally relaxed. thought it was a physical issue but gyneo said i'm all good, at least on surface level exam. now for the past year i have a great boyfriend, we used to have great pseudo-sex (no penetration just rubbing, though sometimes actively tried, still failed) then 6 months ago something just...changed.
my libido dropped suddenly when work/life interfered with how much time we had together. we got that time back eventually, tried sex when i finally felt like it again, kinda slipped i guess? hurt a tiny bit, fully believe this still wasn't penetration just an awkward movement. i freaked out though. it's never been the same. we are still happy and working with just foreplay, but any time i try to have sex with him...this fear fills my whole body. like i remember that slip and i'm anticipating excruciating pain when logically i know it won't be that bad, i've always feared the pain but i was never afraid this much before?? it always makes me cry now, just from the fear, and feeling like it will ruin my relationship...even though boyfriend handles it like a saint and always says he will love me regardless 🥲
he's saying we need lube and i mean sure i'll try that, but being extra slippery and making it easier for penetration seems like it will increase my anxiety? (for the record i did try lube years ago when i wasn't so anxious, did not help just felt gross 😭) should i take something first to calm me down? should i try to manage the first time myself with some kind of beginner's super gentle dildo? (they all look scary..)
i don't know what i want to hear. just want to hear from people that have been through this.

I'm glad I found this sub because it's apparently the only place where I can vent about this.
So where do I even start, first we had a cat for about almost 3 years(few months short) and it was a disaster, it was fine for a few months but then later it started and kept destroying/ruining stuff: decorations, drawings of my younger brothers, scratching furniture, yowling every night, leaving hair everywhere to the point that it was impossible to remove it completely for months, biting cables of phone chargers, scratching us from time to time for no reason etc. Then we had to go to the vacation in our home country for a few months or a year but couldn't bring the cat because it didn't have a permission or whatever for us to take it to airplane and it would take months to get it, so we left it in shelter with one colleague to look after it.
Then the crazy stuff really begins... As soon as we came back from the vacation, there was this cat in front of the door in the building every day and she kept feeding it, later it turns out it was pregnant and had a litter, mother decides to take in the small kitten with no hesitation which ends up in it shitting all over the house one time when we went outside. I'm talking all over the floor, couch etc... Which angers the mother a bit but guess what she forgives it hours later like nothing happened, then after a bit more time it turns on it had worms in it's poop since surprise: taking a random cat from street which had no checking with the vet or anything can be problematic. She finally agrees to take it outside and let it on streets where it was later taken by some people. Also not to mention how she defends literally anything cats do including destroying wildlife but at the same time says that she is some animal lover.
This is the part where I would like to say that it all ended here, but it didn't...
We once again vent to vacation to our home country next summer and when we returned we went to another place(we have to move a bit for now because of a job of our father, it's temporary thankfully) and this place is a nightmare: whole litter of stray cats in the streets around and literally almost the same situation happened as last time: there was a pregnant cat in front door, mother starts feeding it and makes a litter of 4 of them in total, neighbors can't take it anymore and decide to kick them out and she moves them on the roof. There was multiple attempts of neighbors to kick them out and show them that they are unwelcome here, but to no avail since she made the roof their playground. One neighbor decides to admittedly overreact and literally pushes the cat from the roof and it falls on parked van leaving the 3 kittens up, it survives because it's a cat and runs away, obviously I don't support this act and never would, but the neighbors are so fed up on it that it was only a matter of time before someone would snap. AND THEN, mother takes the 3 kittens IN THE HOUSE immediately and tells the father to call the vet and shelter in order for them to be given for adoption, but until then she will look after them on the balcony. After some time, this cat returns but is hurt and recovers slowly, mother finally takes them out of the house few days later and returns them to the same spot on the roof. Still weeks later no sign of vet calling because it takes time to find people to adopt them.
Now she keeps going to them every single day and spending hours with them, she spends more time daily with random stray cats than with us in home! Few weeks later random stray kitten from the litter in streets gets hurt and she immediately takes it in to nurse it and allows it to sleep in bed, 2 days later she returns it. And now she is absolutely baffled and furious because the neighborhood doesn't give a single shit about stray litters on streets. She just goes around on and on and on about how neighbors are assholes and bad yada yada(except 3 of them who also feed them) because they don't feed stray hordes on streets like this is an animal shelter and not the place where people live and was talking shit about one woman because she saw her being scared to pass because of one cat and swatted it (she most probably has a phobia) and said that ''she was overreacting like it's a dinosaur''. There aren't any foxes, coyotes or birds of prey here so they are free to run amok everywhere and unfortunately the animal control here is very bad unless it's about something bigger.
And now here we are, she goes on the roof every day to spend time with litter she made and observes them like they're animals of Savannah or apes, as soon as she hears some cat meowing or yowling outside, she rushes to find it to feed it, goes in and out of the home like 50 times a day because of it, spends a lot of money on cat food etc. Thankfully we're here not for long more and we'll hopefully soon settle down on the place where we were before father had to start travelling because of job and be free from this because there strays actually aren't that much present and few that it had aren't allowed in or near the building thankfully.

I live on a military base and found a kitten in the road right outside of the main gate. She’ll be a year old in September.
I’ve had my dog for 6 years now, I’ve had him since he was a puppy.
My kitten is amazingly sweet and so precious and cute when it comes to me or my husband. But she is a terror to our other cats (we have two others who were also adopted from someone who had found them dumped under a bridge) she is a straight up demon to our dog.
He has anxiety, and he has meds for it. She does not care. He is not reactive, even with food and will let the cats eat alongside him from his bowl. He is a sweetheart through and through! But she makes him live in fear.
She will chase him throughout the house and bat at his paws and bite him, smacking his face and such and whenever I notice this I stop her and give him some love to forget about it. But a lot of times theyll be in the living room and suddenly he will come running and try to sit on my head while he shakes and whines.
Today this happened and she had followed him onto the bed and he started yowling like he was in pain and hiding under the covers to avoid her.
I’ve never had a situation like this. She isn’t doing anything that actually hurts him but clearly she frustrates and scares him. I don’t know what to do! I’ve had cats my whole life and dogs as well and never had an issue with either messing around with each other.