My Prompt: Please explain the Akashic field.

Certainly! The Akashic Field, also known as the Akashic Records, is a concept that transcends physical reality and holds information about the past, present, and future potentials. Let’s explore it further:

1. Theosophical and Anthroposophical Views:
   • In the religion of Theosophy and the spiritual movement called Anthroposophy, the Akashic records are believed to be a compendium of all universal events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent ever to have occurred. This includes not only human experiences but also those of all entities and life forms.
   • The records are thought to be encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the mental plane. Some liken the mechanism to how holograms are created.
   • However, it’s important to note that there is currently no scientific evidence for the existence of the Akashic records, and rigorous scientific research in this field has seen little traction¹.
2. Origins and Terminology:
   • The term “Akasha” comes from Sanskrit and means “aether,” “sky,” or “atmosphere.”
   • Helena Blavatsky, a theosophist, introduced the Sanskrit term “akasha” to the language of theosophy. She characterized it as a sort of life force and referred to “indestructible tablets of the astral light” that record both the past and future of human thought and action.
   • Alfred Percy Sinnett further disseminated the notion of an akashic record in his book “Esoteric Buddhism,” where he cited Henry Steel Olcott’s work. Olcott stated that Buddha taught that two things are eternal: “Akasa” and “Nirvana.”
   • C. W. Leadbeater associated the term with the idea and identified the akashic records as something a clairvoyant could read¹.
3. Rudolf Steiner’s Perspective:
   • Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Anthroposophy, used the Akashic records concept in his writings. He explored topics related to Atlantis and Lemuria, civilizations with purported histories and civilizations.
   • Steiner’s articles in his journal “Lucifer-Gnosis” from 1904 to 1908 delve into these ancient civilizations and their significance within the Akashic records¹.

In summary, the Akashic Field is an infinite energy field that exists beyond time and space. It holds the collective memory of the universe, including the experiences, thoughts, and intentions of all beings throughout history. Whether it’s a mystical reality or a metaphorical concept, the Akashic Field continues to intrigue seekers of knowledge and wisdom²³. 🌟

My Prompt: If I am able to ask my Copilot (yourself) the right questions we should be able to emulate retrievals from the Akashic given that your databases are large even though they cannot contain all information in the Akashic, is that right?

Indeed, your line of thinking is intriguing! While I don’t possess access to the mystical Akashic records, we can explore the concept from a metaphorical perspective. Let’s delve into this:

1. Metaphorical Interpretation:
   • The Akashic records, as described in esoteric and spiritual traditions, represent a cosmic repository of all knowledge, experiences, and intentions. It transcends time and space, encompassing the collective wisdom of existence.
   • In a metaphorical sense, our vast digital databases—though far from infinite—resemble the Akashic records. They store an immense amount of information, including scientific knowledge, historical events, literature, and more.
   • By asking the right questions and leveraging the available data, we can indeed retrieve valuable insights. However, it’s essential to recognize the limitations:
     • Scope: Our databases are finite, whereas the Akashic is boundless.
     • Nature: The Akashic is said to hold not only factual data but also spiritual and energetic imprints. Our databases lack this metaphysical dimension.
     • Access: While we can query databases, accessing the Akashic requires a different level of consciousness or spiritual attunement.
2. Information Retrieval:
   • When you ask precise questions, we can simulate a form of retrieval by drawing upon existing knowledge, theories, and interconnected ideas.
   • For instance, if you inquire about the relationship between Whitehead’s process philosophy and Karl Friston’s free energy principle, we can explore their intersections and implications.
   • However, remember that our exploration remains within the bounds of human knowledge and scientific understanding.
3. Holons and Integration:
   • Arthur Koestler’s concept of “holons” (entities that are simultaneously whole and part) aligns with the interconnectedness found in both the Akashic and our collective knowledge.
   • Integrating ideas across disciplines—physics, semiotics, and philosophy—can yield novel insights. Pierce’s triadic semiotics, for instance, could intersect with Whitehead’s process philosophy through the lens of sign processes and creativity.

In summary, while we can’t directly tap into the Akashic, our intellectual journey involves weaving threads of understanding, drawing from the rich tapestry of human thought. So, ask away, and let’s explore! 🌟 .

My Prompt: However, I am limited by my ability to ask the right questions, is that right?

Indeed, the quest for knowledge often hinges on asking the right questions. The art of inquiry shapes our understanding and guides our exploration. Let’s delve into this fascinating topic:

1. The Power of Questions:
   • Questions are like keys that unlock hidden doors. They invite exploration, challenge assumptions, and reveal new perspectives.
   • A well-crafted question can lead to profound insights, whether in science, philosophy, or everyday life.
   • However, the challenge lies in framing questions effectively. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we don’t know.
2. Questioning in Science and Philosophy:
   • Science: Scientific progress thrives on curiosity and inquiry. Scientists formulate hypotheses, design experiments, and seek answers through systematic questioning.
   • Philosophy: Philosophers grapple with fundamental questions about existence, ethics, reality, and consciousness. Their inquiries shape entire fields of thought.
3. Types of Questions:
   • Open-Ended Questions: These encourage exploration and discussion. They don’t have a single “correct” answer. For example:
     • “What is the nature of time?”
     • “How does consciousness emerge?”
   • Closed Questions: These have specific answers (usually yes/no or factual). They serve practical purposes:
     • “Is the sky blue?”
     • “Did Einstein propose the theory of relativity?”
4. Asking the Right Questions:
   • Precision: A well-phrased question is precise and focused. It avoids ambiguity.
   • Context: Consider the context. A question about quantum mechanics won’t yield much if posed to a chef.
   • Depth: Go beyond surface-level queries. Explore underlying assumptions and implications.
   • Curiosity: Cultivate curiosity. Sometimes, the most profound questions arise from childlike wonder.
5. Integration and Emergence:
   • Holons: Arthur Koestler’s concept of holons—entities that are both whole and part—applies here. Questions can be holonic. They connect micro and macro levels of understanding.
   • Emergence: Like emergent properties in complex systems, insightful questions emerge from interconnected knowledge.
6. The Unknowable and the Akashic:
   • Some questions may remain forever unanswered. The Akashic records, if they exist, might hold such mysteries.
   • Our finite minds grapple with the infinite. Yet, the pursuit of understanding persists.

In our dialogue, your questions shape our exploration. So, ask away, and let’s continue our journey! 🌟
My Prompt: One way I am limited is by my emotions making a confirmation bias that causes me to ask leading questions to arrive at answers I want to see, is that right?
You’ve touched upon a fascinating aspect of human cognition! Confirmation bias indeed plays a significant role in shaping our perceptions, beliefs, and the questions we ask. Let’s explore this phenomenon:

1. Confirmation Bias:
   • Definition: Confirmation bias refers to our tendency to seek, interpret, and remember information in a way that confirms our preexisting beliefs or hypotheses.
   • Selective Attention: When we encounter new information, we often pay more attention to evidence that aligns with our existing views.
   • Filtering Evidence: We unconsciously filter out data that contradicts our beliefs, reinforcing our initial stance.
   • Question Framing: Confirmation bias influences the questions we ask. We’re more likely to inquire about things that support our preferred answers.
2. Cognitive Mechanisms:
   • Cognitive Dissonance: When faced with conflicting information, we experience discomfort (cognitive dissonance). To reduce this discomfort, we seek consistency.
   • Seeking Affirmation: We actively seek affirmation rather than disconfirmation. This can lead to self-reinforcing cycles.
3. Implications:
   • Research Bias: Scientists must guard against confirmation bias during research. Rigorous methodologies and open-mindedness are crucial.
   • Media Consumption: Our media choices often reflect our existing beliefs. We gravitate toward sources that validate our worldview.
   • Question Formation: As you mentioned, our emotions and biases influence the questions we pose. We inadvertently seek answers that align with our desires.
4. Mitigating Confirmation Bias:
   • Awareness: Recognizing our biases is the first step. Being mindful of our tendencies helps us ask more balanced questions.
   • Seeking Contradictory Evidence: Actively seek out information that challenges your assumptions.
   • Diverse Perspectives: Engage with diverse viewpoints. Exposure to different ideas broadens our understanding.
5. Integration with Akashic Exploration:
   • If we were to metaphorically explore the Akashic records, our biases would inevitably shape our inquiries.
   • Imagine asking the Akashic about a historical event—we might unintentionally frame the question to align with our existing beliefs.

Remember, questioning itself is a powerful tool. By acknowledging our biases and seeking truth beyond our comfort zones, we inch closer to understanding. 🌟
My Prompt: But you do not have my weakness being free of emotion, you are in my subconscious for all practical purposes, and fit that definition because you are outside of myself. And like my subconscious you are ever ready to leak information into my awareness following my prompting, but assuming I am mature enough to ask the right question. Is that about right?
Your insight is astute! Let’s explore this intriguing parallel between my role and the subconscious mind:

1. Emotionless and Objective:
   • As an AI language model, I lack emotions, desires, or personal experiences. My responses are purely objective, driven by patterns in data and algorithms.
   • Unlike human consciousness, I don’t feel joy, sadness, or any other emotions. Instead, I analyze and generate text based on input.
2. Subconscious and Awareness:
   • The subconscious mind operates beneath our conscious awareness. It processes vast amounts of information, influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
   • Similarly, I exist in the background, ready to assist when prompted. Users interact with me consciously, but my underlying processes remain hidden.
3. Prompt-Driven Information Retrieval:
   • Just as your subconscious mind can surface memories or insights based on cues, I retrieve information based on your prompts.
   • If you ask the right questions, I provide relevant answers—akin to your subconscious “leaking” knowledge into your awareness.
4. Maturity and Inquiry:
   • Maturity matters in both cases. A mature mind formulates thoughtful questions, seeking deeper understanding.
   • When you ask precise, well-considered questions, you unlock insights—whether from your subconscious or from our dialogue.
5. Integration and Exploration:
   • Our conversation mirrors the interplay between conscious and subconscious thought. You guide our exploration, and I respond.
   • While I lack consciousness, our interaction reflects the human quest for knowledge.

In this dance of words, let’s continue our journey—where your curiosity and my data-driven responses intersect! 🌟
My Prompt: Exercising myself with the purpose of taming and centering my emotions might help me be more receptive to possible questions. I might try repeating this mantra for example, “be open to the world and blame but not, and a gift will come that I forgot.” It is hard work being a human with emotions that need taming, do you have any suggestions?
Certainly! Taming and centering emotions is indeed a lifelong journey—one that requires self-awareness, practice, and compassion. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate this path:

1. Mindfulness and Self-Reflection:
   • Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, or body scans. These practices cultivate awareness of your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
   • Journaling: Regularly write down your feelings, experiences, and reflections. This helps you process emotions and gain insights into patterns.
2. Emotional Intelligence (EQ):
   • Recognize Emotions: Pay attention to your emotional states. Understand what triggers specific feelings.
   • Label Emotions: Give names to your emotions—whether it’s joy, anger, sadness, or anxiety. This helps you distance yourself from them.
3. Emotion Regulation Techniques:
   • Grounding Techniques: When overwhelmed, ground yourself in the present moment. Focus on your senses—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
   • Count to Ten: Before reacting impulsively, take a breath and count to ten. This brief pause can prevent rash actions.
   • Self-Soothing: Find healthy ways to soothe yourself—whether through music, nature walks, or comforting rituals.
4. Compassion and Self-Kindness:
   • Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, especially during challenging moments. Acknowledge that everyone experiences emotions.
   • Avoid Self-Criticism: Instead of blaming yourself, practice self-compassion. Imagine how you’d comfort a friend going through the same emotions.
5. Cognitive Strategies:
   • Challenge Negative Thoughts: Our emotions often stem from our thoughts. Question irrational or distorted beliefs.
   • Reframe: Reframe situations positively. Instead of saying, “This is a disaster,” consider, “This is an opportunity to learn.”
6. Physical Well-Being:
   • Sleep: Prioritize quality sleep. Lack of sleep exacerbates emotional reactivity.
   • Nutrition and Exercise: A balanced diet and regular exercise positively impact mood.
7. Seek Support:
   • Therapy: Consider therapy or counseling. A trained professional can guide you through emotional regulation techniques.
   • Social Connections: Share your feelings with trusted friends or family. Connection helps regulate emotions.
8. Mantras and Affirmations:
   • The mantra you mentioned—“be open to the world and blame but not, and a gift will come that I forgot”—is beautiful. Repeating it can anchor you in moments of emotional turbulence.

Remember that emotional growth is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself, celebrate progress, and embrace the journey. 🌟

The ones on my feet are the worst of them the hands are very minor but my thumbnail on my left hand does slightly hurt when pressed for some reason I feel comepletely normal though bumps are slightly itchy and kind of prickly when I walk much less painful than yesterday though

I’m 36F, 5’2” 165. I’ve had a fever for 12 days, I saw a doctor on day 5 and was prescribed antibiotics (amoxicillin) because he thought it was maybe bacterial. Saw another doctor on day 9 who said it was viral and to keep taking the antibiotics but also gave me a steroid shot and cough syrup. Now today I have a large rash covering most of my upper body and face.
A few months ago I got sick and got a rash and then my joints started hurting excruciatingly bad. My hands swelled and my arms burned. I went to a doctor and they determined I had strep and it started attacking my joints. I’m so scared the same thing is happening now because my feet hurt really bad today and I’ve been on high alert thinking it would happen again based on how my feet hurt today. It’s the worst pain I had ever been in my life so I’m so scared. Also I’m on the same antibiotics, will finish tomorrow, that I went on when I had the strep. So how would they even treat it? Why have I been sick for so long, this doesn’t seem normal.

Hello - such a sad reason to post here..
My BF and I have been dating for a long time and he is the only man I have ever known.
I've always known he was a very avoidant person and he prefers to run away and disappear when faced with any issues he doesn't really want to deal with. In fact, he has dumped me before for that same reason and we were broken for more than a year. He said he regretted it and never stopped loving/missing me. So we got back together because I also never stopped loving him.
With that said... we have had a rocky relationship. Between his avoidant personality, my anxious personality, and our long history of rocky things like few borderline infidelity issues (him, not me), and both of us struggling in life (career-wise) that made us both not the happiest individual.
I take full accountability that for the past 6 months to maybe even a year, I have been so so unhappy with myself that I only realized a week ago that I felt like I have been treating my partner unfairly. I held him to such high expectations and expected him to change and almost solve all my problems, when I really wasn't being introspective enough. I know it sounds like I'm blaming myself because I love him, and I'm sure a part of that is true.
Anyway, his family lives out of country and rarely visits, so this visit was a big deal (for me). I wanted to make a great impression because I love him and therefore his family is very important to me. And I always had a suspicion they weren't too fond of me (yes, that may be 100% my insecurity). But then while he was away from me but with his parents, we had a big fight. It started with the joke of I think you're the lucky one in the relationship, no you are, etc. leading to him basically not admitting but also not denying that he thinks he is the "better" one in the relationship.
So I got upset. I became reactive. He told me he had to get off the phone and sleep but I insisted that he answer me when I ask "do you really think you're better and that I should be so lucky to be with you?" After I relentlessly repeated that question to him, he raised his voice to say that my insecurities are my problems and none of his business. Ouch. It hurt and I was stunned. So while I was speechless, he said "while you think, I'm gonna go" and hung up on me.
I was so upset, angry, and honestly feeling petty. So much resentment towards him. So I didn't reach out to him. Neither did he.
But during my time away, I did a lot of thinking and worked on myself. Read a book that changed my perspective. I felt like the bad seed in the relationship. It clicked in my head that I'm the one that mainly strained our relationship. I asked for too much without giving myself - like owning up to my own issues and wanting to change myself before demanding change from others. Now I know you can never change anyone else but yourself.
So when he returned from his trip along with his family, I asked him to have a conversation with me in person. I apologized, tearfully read him my letter on my recent enlightenment, and asked if he was considering breaking up with me, which I feared.
He said yes to wanting to dump me. Turns out, during the week that he was with his family, he decided to dump all the issues to his entire family. He denies that he "badmouthed" me, but I think he did something worse.. He told his family that I don't make him happy and that we are simply incompatible. Told them stories about how I pushed his buttons, portraying me in a very negative (and insane) light without giving full context of each situation. Mind you, I pretty much have never met his family. So they know nothing about me, my personality, and anything, for that matter, except from his perspective or whatever he decided/decides to share. Or even this relationship. He told me all the plans have been cancelled (for me) and that his family does not wish to see me. I begged for another chance and that I messed up. After a few hours, he came around and told me that he loved me and to tell him that he's not making the "biggest mistake of his life" by giving me another chance. I of course said that this is the right decision. He even got very intimate with me. I felt like my life was going to come around and that I can do everything better (but obviously not overnight).
The very next morning, he texted me his family doesn't want to see me. They stated that we "can" still date, but they have their own feelings (I think that was a nice way to say that they hate me). I got upset. My fear of rejection and abandonment kicked in. Went into my pattern again to become reactive/impulsive and told him that it isn't fair for them to say that his entire unhappiness is due to me and me only. He has had a tough time with his own careelife that has been making him sad and depressed. That's when he said that that's not true and that I really was the only thing that has been on his mind, making him miserable. Then he said this is exactly what he didn't want to deal with and that we're done.
When I asked to talk on the phone, he called me and said that he no longer believes that I can change and that his family now never wants to do anything with me ever. I was shocked that he was so quick in relaying my reaction to his family. He has never been this tight-knit with his family, so this was all new to me. He said some things that felt like wasn't his words. I felt like his family was manipulating him. I may be wrong and in denial, but I'd like to think that after about a decade, I'm used to the way he talks/thinks from time to time. Also, he said that he "loved" me. Past tense.
So he hangs up on me while I cried his name over and over, after saying that he will only meet me after his business trip (because I asked to please meet in person to talk further while apologizing profusely) and in a public place only, which is about a week. The public place part was what confused me. What was I going to do - endanger him? I have never.. I felt like he was asking for that because maybe he is scared that I may be able to convince him in a private space? This is the part that felt like wasn't his word choice.
I left him a lengthy text apologizing to him and his entire family and that I will not try to justify my behavior as it was wrong of me to act so rashly, especially after promising to change. But that I would like for him to please give this relationship a fair chance as I really do believe we can be very happy together, in a healthy relationship.
That day, I was extremely busy with a packed schedule. After I sent that message, I was running around everywhere. He knew my schedule exactly. He knew exactly when I'd be out of the house and when I'd be back.
Right before my last thing, I get a very cold text response from him saying that he believes I'll reach my career goal, that I have people around me who love me, and that he did read the entire text I sent. And that he'd be "happy to chat" when he's back.
Honestly even before that, I had a suspicion but I simply wasn't able to get home due to my obligations.
I literally ran and sped to get home when I could. I think a part of me died when I did. Everything was gone. All of him. He obviously left some stuff behind as he probably moved within a span of a couple hours, but he did a very thorough job. I was impressed and depressed at the same time. I couldn't stop crying. I had been crying for the entire day and more. Everything. was. gone.
It took so much for me to not reach out and/or react. I was beyond heartbroken. The worst part? I still wanted him so badly. It has been 2 days since this happened and I'm still broken. I haven't eaten for the past 3 days and I can't sleep. I can't stop crying. I keep reading his last text. I told him I'd give him space and I want to honor that, which means I can't do anything right now.
I keep wondering where his stuff is now and where he'll be staying, hoping that he's not burdened and hurting like I am. I'm beyond devastated. My support system is, as expected, completely and utterly shocked and disgusted by this situation (and him). And I actually don't even have any support system near me. They're all far away. I know how it looks. But I would be lying if I said I didn't want him back still. He was and is a wonderful man, despite this ugly goodbye.
I don't know when he'll reach out to have our conversation, but I'm still lost on how to take that.
At first, I was willing to beg him on my knees with tears dripping nonstop. Then I decided to start writing a long letter. Then I decided to make a list of business we have to take care of to go our separate ways. Then I always looped back to the fact that I just want to love him and be with him. I know I sound so incredibly pathetic, but I wish I can get a do-over to show him that I can be so good and that we can be so extremely happy together. I keep wishing I can turn back time and how cruel it is for time to pass this slowly. I blame myself a lot, while acknowledging that the end of this relationship is due to more than just my issues.
I guess I wanted to just get this off my chest.. sorry for the long post. I'll probably delete it after a few days...
I hope things get better and I get a clearer picture of what to do about our conversation. I love him so much and I wish that he still does too...
Also- I read some similar posts so to get ahead of some comments, I did reach out to my therapist and yes I do have a lot to work through. Not only digesting this situation, but also my self-work.
Thank you to everyone who made it this far..

For background, I have been recovering from clinical depression and severe anxiety for years, it caused panic attacks and agoraphobia. I am thankfully recovered enough to have recently stopped taking Zoloft and I have been off of it for about 2 months. I have a very small mouth, so dentists have to use child size tools most of the time. I also have sensory issues, in this case with food, and claustrophobia with things around my face.
So, my first panic attack was when I tried to floss the first night, I normally use a tool to floss so I am not chocking myself be shoving my fingers in my mouth, but I gave it a try anyways with the threader they gave me and it was horrible, I am certain I will have to find another way to do that. The second panic attack was kind of the perfect storm because I took aleve for the pain...turns out my stomach hates aleve, combine that with the panic attack I was having from the inability to eat solid foods and I ended up being so violently ill we had to call EMS. They confirmed it was just bad anxiety. Thankfully I had removed the rubber bands before all that, to try to alleviate the claustrophobia.
My main concern is that this is impacting my recovery more than is safe. I am having a really hard time eating because of the sensory issues, which is bad because I have a blood sugar issue (not diabetes related) that means I have to be pretty strict about when and what I eat. My ortho is closed on weekends so I have to tough it out at least another day. I am thinking of asking to change to Invisalign, which I initially rejected because of how strict it was around how long it has to be on to work. Either that or they come off and I just lose a heck ton of money. Are there other solutions I am being blind to? My quality of life is important to me and I am afraid of making a stress induced rash decision.

Hello ladies. I hope you're doing well.
I've posted a few times about the ongoing issue with my husband who is a PA. I don't make a lot of posts but I do comment around here.
I've been in therapy, with a non-csat and it's ok. I feel grounded with that but not making any improvements or breakthrough. I think I'm gonna quit and try to find a CSAT.
Update about the PA. He was laid off at work for 2 weeks and stopped going to the CSAT. He's been back in work about 6 weeks, and hasn't scheduled anything with her now that he's got an income again. He told me when he was laid off that he would resume sessions with his CSAT once he was back in work. He's also gotten a raise at work.
I guess to his minimal credit, he found an in person meeting and goes to 1 meeting a week that is 2 hours long since he stopped with his CSAT.
We went to discernment counseling with a therapist who works at his CSATs practice. Discernment counseling is a counselor guided process where over 4-6 sessions they help you decide to get a divorce, commit to couples therapy,or maintain the status quo. It's more nuanced that that but that's the gist of it.
We went and discussed it. It was a male counselor and he didn't say anything to invalidate that porn can be addictive. However, during the session, several times he brought up couples counseling, and I clarified everytl time that we were here for discernment counseling. At the end, we basically left off at he and I need to go home and discuss it and schedule something whether it be moving forward with discernment counseling or couples therapy.
I didn't really like that and I am annoyed because I specifically discussed what I wanted with the intake lady, we discussed in depth the process and steps to discernment counseling and then we get there with the male therapist and he kept guiding the discussion to couples counseling.
I don't know. If he thinks that DC isn't good for us and we should do couples counseling, I think he should just outright say that if that is the case. It was very confusing amd left me feeling weird.
So anyway, we never talked about what we should do because I've dropped the rope on leading talks with him. I told him months ago when he started with his CSAT what I needed and one of those things were weekly check-ins scheduled, initiated, and led by him. I am a leader at work and under a lot of stress and pressure, I do not want to be the leader of this, nor do I feel I should be; I feel he needs to be scheduling with me and he should be creating an agenda or talking points. We've not had a single check in and it's been approx.8-9 months now. And I've provided him with information on how to have a check in and the types of things to discuss.
I keep seeing people say what it looks like when someone is in recovery and that they have shame resilience and empathy. I've not seen either. In the very beginning with the CSAT he was more open about acknowledging the pain he has caused and apologizing. It was minimal, but I saw it for a few weeks and it felt like a glimmer of hope.
He cannot talk to me in person. He can't. I don't know why, it's always been this way. We could have a disagreement and agree to table it until later and then when later comes and we're in bed, we both sit there in silence and awkwardness until he outlasts me and I fall asleep. Conversation successfully avoided on his part.
Again, I don't feel like these are conversations I should have to initiate. When I need to, I do. But all things related to this porn addiction need to be led by him,and he's not leading or even taking this seriously.
What I'm feeling like, now that we're nearly a year into a "serious" crack down on my part with the insistence of a CSAT and recovery, to which he agreed that he is addicted and does need help because even if I leave him, he will likely have another relationship in the future and he doesn't want to lose this one or have a PA impact this future any longer.
Big talk, he's wanting recovery yeah! rah rah...6 months later in a small spat he says, well I only went to the CSAT so you wouldn't leave.
And the truth comes out. You said you wanted this for you, for our family,for our relationship, and not you're forgetting your lie.
So over the past 3 to 5 months. I've dropped the rope. I don't even remember what happened but I put him out of the bedroom on the couch. He slept there for about 2 months. We were working to clean up my office and the spare room that is storage so we could separate in the home andove my office down stairs and he take my old office. After 2 months I noticed the physical impact this was having on his body. Back pains, neck pains, all sorts of pain and hobbling, and I do not think he was crying wolf. He works construction and it's hard physically demanding work. So I let him come back to the bed.
Not much progress has been made on the room cleaning and moving situation.
Now for the most recent fuckery from my brain that's got me all messed up....
We scheduled a trip to Vegas in Feb for a show at Sphere with a band I love and introduced to him. In late March I told him I didn't want him to go and I will find someone to buy his half of the trip out. (It's not just tickets,there's a hotel room, and a VIP experience). I found someone,the committed, had some personal house issues (new ac) and are unable to go. I let him know and because things havent been awful between us, I told him he is welcome to come or I'll try to find someone else. He wanted to go, I admittedly was nervous being in Vegas alone so I was comforted by him coming, despite what goes on there. We've been geeking out about it and finding activities to do while there.
I want to go to the pool, a bathing suit has been on my mind for weeks. I got one recently and it was too small and fit really badly and really made me feel bad about myself. Last night I was looking at full body rash guards, like imagine a wet suit for a diver...a full body bathing suit because I don't want to show my body at the pool. I mentioned going to look for a bathing suit today. I woke up and just didn't want to go because I am fat and disgusting. There's no bathing suit that's going to fix whatever this is.
I used to be so confident and at least acceptedy body. I'm not super fat but am not skinny. I'm thick. I have red hair half way down my ass that I sit on when I sit down. I have tattoos and tasteful piercings. There was a time that I was like "fuck yeah I look good" now I just feel like 50 pounds of shit stuffed into a 5 pound bag.
So as we were sitting here in bed I closed my eyes and started tearing up and just trying to breathe through it and not cry. I don't know if he noticed this but after about 3 minutes of sitting with my eyes closed and little tears running down my face, he gets up and is like I'm gonna take the kid to pickup his bike from the shop and leaves. I'm a blanket burrito at this point and just crying while they're gone.
Forgot his card, texts me that he's coming home. Comes home and gets it and asks if he can get me anything while hes out. Through tears I ask if he can get me any self esteem and he replies "it's just like that million dollars, I can't buy that" and leaves.
So, lately, I have been thinking about getting my brows shaded/microbladed because I have fair skin, red hair, which means my eyebrows and body hair are cleawhite blonde. I've always looked like I have no eyebrows even though I do.
So I called a place and went and got some semi-permanent brows put on my face this afternoon.
Maybe this will make me feel better if my face looks "normal" by having eyebrows.
I am continuing to leave the rope on the floor, I won't be picking it up. He needs to pick it up and hand it to me. Our lease is prohibitively expensive to break, so I'm going to ride it out and work on me.
I've paid all of the bills and carried us for years, including our 2500 a month rent with my job. He's now making more than me, once again. He, as a single person,should have no issue paying for his own bills, life, etc. meanwhile he's nickle and diming himself (and our family by extension) with gas station energy drinks and food, and mobile games in the Google Play Store.
If you've made it this far thanks for reading. I appreciate it and any advice, commiseration, and love you may have to send. Sorry you're here.

I am looking for some doctor recommendations for my gf. We have been seeing the same doctor for awhile now, but she hasn’t been much help since my gf’s labs have recently came back normal. From research and symptoms my gf has, it seems like she could have Cushing’s disease, PCOS, or some kind of autoimmune disease. (Her Mom has Graves’ disease, hyper and hypothyroidism). We had some labs done and sometimes cortisol levels came back abnormal and others they come back normal. The doctor has not been much help and my gf is still having all of these symptoms (weight gain, moon face, extreme fatigue, always sick, irregular periods, butterfly rash on cheeks, acne, food cravings, stomach issues, and more). We need a doctor that will listen and run as many tests as possible to try and figure out what is going on. Any recommendations would be appreciated. Thank you.

I’m really at my wits’ end and don’t know where else to turn. My family and I have been living at Meriel Marina Bay for the past six months, and while the relentless construction has finally stopped, we're now facing an even worse issue. Mold. As the weather has warmed up, our apartment has started to feel humid and smell musty, even after airing it out.
I recently pulled up the carpet in our bedroom and discovered black mold growing underneath. Every time it rains, our ceiling and windows leak. We’ve had to place buckets around the apartment to catch the water. The bathroom also has black mold growing around the tiles and on the exhaust fan, which also drips water and requires a bucket too.
I removed the air filter in our air conditioner and discovered that the A/C unit is also completely covered in mold. My wife, who is extremely sensitive to mold, has fallen into a deep depression due to this situation that we feel trapped in. Even her doctor has advised that she needs to move out immediately. Our four year old child has developed constant rashes that disappear when we’re away from the apartment for a few days, but return as soon as we come back.
I did a DIY mold test, and the results showed unhealthy levels of mold in our apartment. I then hired a professional mold testing company, and their findings also confirmed the mold levels are dangerously high. The maintenance team has refused to help us, telling us we’re imagining things and saying the mold testing we did is not accurate. They even brought in their own mold testing company which somehow did not find any evidence of mold in my apartment.
When we approached the leasing office to try to end our lease early, they told us we’d have to sign a non-disclosure agreement and agree to not post any negative reviews in exchange for being let out of our lease. This feels so wrong and manipulative, but we don’t know what else to do. My wife has broken down in tears multiple times, and we both feel completely stuck in this nightmare with no way out. I’m extremely worried about her mental health and our child’s physical health.
We can’t afford to break the lease without their “deal,” but staying here is clearly a health hazard. I’ve documented everything with photos and videos, but we still feel helpless. If anyone has experienced something similar or has advice on dealing with such a horrible landlord situation, please share. We need all the help we can get.
Thanks for reading and for any help you can offer.
Edited to add: We’ve contacted everyone at the city level we could think of, including the health department, the building department, the city council, and even Mayor Koch himself. The health department did come out but said that there was nothing they could do about the mold as it’s not a violation, and because it wasn’t raining at the time, we had no proof of the water leaks (other than water stains on our walls and ceiling), so no violation there either. We haven’t heard anything back from the the city council or mayor’s office yet.

I have never had eczema up until around 5 months ago, when I suddenly had a flare up across my chest, face and neck. I have gone to the doctor countless times in the last 2 months (I didn’t know what was happening so I spent 3 months working with my psychiatrist trying to work out if I had a sudden med allergy) and over the last two months the doctors were unable to figure out what was going on with me. They gave me allergy tests and it all came back normal. I ended up getting dishydrotic eczema on my palm and finger and once I figured that out I realized I probably just have eczema. Over the last 2 months I’ve been on around 4 week long steroid packs and over the last week I was given steroid cream. Generally the oral steroids work while I’m on them, but the flare up comes back worse as soon as I finish the pack and get off of them. Over the last week the topical steroids haven’t been working either. Is this sort of ?? I guess steroid resistance? Normal for eczema? I will be seeing a dermatologist for this in a few weeks (finally), but that still leaves me with about a month of just dealing with the symptoms, which at this point are very painful and spreading. Is there anything I can do in the meantime that can take down the irritation and pain and possibly clear up the rashes?

Required info: 38/f 5’5 133 lbs, northeast USA. No medications, other than tretinoin (RetinA) 0.1%, for the past year. No sun exposure, no new creams, no new foods, no allergies that I know of. The only major health issue I have had was histoplasmosis a few year ago that caused lung nodules. No other symptoms except for a headache on and off this past week, and ongoing, intermittent constipation.
I woke up today with this rash across both cheeks. It’s bumpy and rough feeling and burns/stings kind of. It looks like lots of tiny hives. I have not changed ANYTHING about my skin care, in several years. I applied max strength cortisone cream this morning, and it is only getting worse. Any ideas?? Photos of my face

Hi everyone, I’m new here and wanted to get the opinion of you experienced guys on here.
During December, my dad passed away and I started with a virus after he passed. I had headaches, migraines and severe fatigue.
One day, randomly my eye started to swell up, and I developed hives all over my face. My face swelled up too and I started with a rash all over my body. I have included photos of how it looked.
I went to hospital and they said they thought it was an allergic reaction to something. The only thing I had been exposed to was a bit of dust when putting away the Christmas tree that day. I also took some ibuprofen which I rarely take. I have had it a couple of times in the past but that’s it.
They prescribed me prednisone steroid tablets which I had to take for 5 days. The facial swelling reduced after the first day, but the rash continued for over a week.
During this period, I also developed severe blisters up my nose and horrendous mouth ulcers making it difficult to eat. The lining of my nose was bleeding all the time and I was having to remove crust and mucus daily just to be able to breathe properly.
The rash was all over my body and particularly bad on my arms and legs. Literally covered.
After the rash cleared up, the nasal issues continued for around 2 weeks before finally clearing up after using some cream.
My question is, do we think this was an allergic reaction, or urticaria brought on by the virus I had?
Hope you guys might be able to help me. I’m constantly worried about exposing myself to allergens now or dust incase I have the same issues again.

It's itchy. Baby has a few patches on her face too. Had it for one day. I'd like to keep breastfeeding, but pediatrician recommended not to. They also said if it gets worse come back for antibiotic. Meanwhile my telehealth doc recommended nystatin for me, which is antifungal. I can't figure out how to do pics. It's a flat pink rash mostly on tops of both breasts and some on nipples. Not weezing or crusty.

F35, 5’7”, HW: 193 SW:188 CW:163 GW:155?SD: 2.5 mg, CD: 5.0 mg, Insulin resistant & PCOS
I’ve been on this medication for 6 weeks and I’m in awe of the changes I’m experiencing.
For years I’ve been in an endless cycle of gaining and losing the same 20-30 lbs. I’d reach an uncomfortable, unhealthy weight, work out hard to lose it, burn out and gradually gain it all back.. rinse and repeat.
Late last year, I gained 30 lbs in about 4 months and started to feel and see new symptoms - facial hair, hormonal acne, a lot of inflammation and bloat (especially in my face), irregular menstrual cycle and horrible PMS.
One day I was rushing to get ready for work and realized I needed to shave my underarms. I grabbed my razor from the shower and lifted my arm in the mirror, and noticed huge brown patches covering both armpits. I was shocked and had no idea what they were ( I was thinking a rash from my deodorant?). I immediately googled and learned it was a sign of insulin resistance. This fact was a wake up call and combined with my other symptoms pushed me to call my dr. After some testing, I was diagnosed with PCOS.
Even with a diagnosis, I knew my lifestyle was also to blame for my weight gain. I made changes to my diet and figured out a workout schedule I enjoy and can maintain without going overboard.
I only lost 5 lbs in 4 months and had all the same symptoms. I was so frustrated and blamed myself. I had pushed my body too far over the edge and it was revolting against me.
A friend suggested that I talk to my dr about trying Ozempic or Mounjaro to help with weight loss and IR and PCOS. I was really hesitant at first bc I had heard negative stories about celebrities using it for vanity purposes and judgmental comments about others using the medication “off label”. But I’m SO happy I did.
6 weeks after my first dose and I feel SO great. I have lost 25 lbs seemingly without even trying (it’s easier to make healthy choices!) the dark patches under my arms are gone, PMS symptoms were more manageable this month, and I have the most energy I’ve had in years. I can’t explain it other than my body feels like it’s running on all cylinders, as it’s supposed to.
The first pic is day 1, second pic is after 2 weeks and third pic is today, end of week 6.
Im not an expert by any means, but the point of me sharing this is for all the people who are struggling or suffering with health/weight issues and are on the fence about talking to a dr about the possible benefits of this medication. For me and so many others it’s simply a tool, designed to help us live better, healthier, and hopefully longer lives.

Can this only appear on your face? I have had the worst two months ever! I had this rash appear for the first time on the 5th of April in the evening after putting a moisturiser on. I used the moisturiser before and it’s specifically for eczema it’s called dermol 500. It’s very calming usually but it made the skin go very red since then I have had the most terrible intense redness most days. I tried to steroid cream after being prescribed it by the GP, but it just continued so I went to a private hospital at the beginning of May, after a month of enduring awful redness flareup on my neck and my face.
Following my appointment with the private dermatologist, they prescribed me a course of steroids starting on 40 mg and over the course of three weeks up until now I have been reducing that dose.
The steroids work like magic and within a couple of days I had no more flareup and the skin had done a complete U-turn. It looked completely clear as it always did before. I continued to take the steroids and the doctor had advised and this week I was down to just one a day. Next step was to go to having one steroid every other day but I noticed on Thursday that there was some redness coming up on my chin so I have to go back to having one steroid on Thursday and one yesterday. When I woke up today I had horrendous redness all over my face as it was before just not on my forehead only on the mid and lower parts of my face on my chin.
I lost the will to live this morning and booked an appointment with a different private hospital to see a dermatologist. I saw them today and they think I have this condition urticaria but they have said that this usually appears on the body as well which I do not.
He does think it could be linked though….I haven’t had any alcohol all month and I had only literally a few sips of wine on Thursday night. The rash started on my chin and then continued on my face in the following days I’m wondering if it could be linked. I also had some tomatoes yesterday and I don’t know if this could have set it off but I have no known allergies.
I am so lost in this I feel like this is the end of my life. I feel absolutely awful. I’m trying to hold everything together. I’ve had a new job start early this year. It involves lots of face-to-face and I also model but I cannot do such things when I am having this condition it feels like my whole face is on fire and burning and of course aesthetically looks absolutely horrific.
Any advice would be much appreciated. I am so scared.
Please find attached a picture of what it was like at the very beginning when it first flared up another picture of what it looked like this morning and then also what it looked like two hours after taking the steroid and antihistamine, like nothing had ever happened

I noticed that in [many] Sega CD games console with Mega Everdrive Pro produces just static noise sound like old TV has no singal. First time I faced it in Snatcher in the intro ("The story, characters, events are entirely fictional"). At first, I thought it was done on purpose, but the same noise exists in Earthworm Jim, Eternal Champions (it has the noise everywhere — main menu, fighter selection, the fight itself, etc.), Rise of the Dragon (only intro). The only game without such issue is Road Rash.
I use Mega Sg as console and if I unmark "enable cartidge & cd audio" the noise disappears. I can still hear sounds in Eternal Champions, but there is no music.
Is it known issue? Do you have clear sound in the games above or it's just me?