Here’s the story on how my table got booted on Mother’s Day. (It’s pretty epic) (long read but plz it’s amazing) (cussing)
Backdrop: So. It’s Mother’s Day. The BUSIEST day of the year for my restaurant and many others! It’s so busy, that we will have numerous parties (at my place it’s 10+ to be considered a “party”) as well as countless floor tables. We are all assigned parties at the beginning of the shift and then expected to take the walk in parties. There will be a line to the door all morning!
Story: Well. This Mother’s Day, that line lasted ALL DAY LONG. I was in the weeds the entire shift! (It’s a long shift for us. We will be there like twelve hours.) Anyhow, I finish a three with a three dollar tip, I finish a six with a five dollar tip :))) (screw you guys) and then I finish a nine with a great tip. In comes a six, so I take them. Then I have to take the eight behind them and the eleven beside the eight. This is fine and dandy except the kitchen is backed up. They had been behind since square one as well have a lot of newbies.
Well, I burst into tears because my six top was really passive and I wanted to get them their food but it had taken nearly 45 minutes for basic entrees. I am not angry with the cooks because they’re cooking buttloads of food all day long but it is absolutely stressful regardless. I finally get them their food and the guy at the table murmurs about a third refill. Dude spilt his drink earlier. His eyelids are barely open. He can’t speak above a mumble.
Well, I guess prior to this, this asshole got angry and started to look around the restaurant for me despite me telling him it was INSANELY busy and I’ve been in the kitchen three separate times to look for the food but that the cooks are swamped. Mind you, all of us are running circles and we have more tables and customers than we can handle. The owner who is in his eighties, we shall call him “Bob” was standing next to our busser “Frodo”. Big dude comes out of the room and Bob thinks he is looking for the bathroom. Big dude mumbles something and Bob laughs and says “ok” because he couldn’t hear him. Bob then looks over to Frodo and is like “what did he say?”
Frodo is all like “Bob. He was cursing at you. He said ‘I’m not looking for the fucking bathroom, I’m looking for my fucking server, she fucking sucks.’”
Middle Rant: Like bitch. First of all, stop spilling your specially made lemonade. Stop SUCKING DOWN your lemonade when clearly I am pissing sweat and waiting on THE ENTIRE ROOM BEHIND YOU.
Story (Continued)
So I get the salads out for the eight and I am about to take drinks for the eleven but I stop to make sure these assholes are Gucci. Here’s the encounter.
Me: Are you guys doing alright? Anything I can grab you?”
Cheese lady: YOU CAN GRAB MY CHEESE I ASKED YOU FOR FIFTEEN TIMES FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO.
Let’s pause. That’s one cheese request per minute. That’s a lot of requests. Next, don’t be condescending. We servers have it ROUGH on Mother’s Day. It isn’t my intention to not bring you everything you ask for every five seconds, it’s simply the fact that I am waiting on multiple LARGE tables, all of which are pissed to oblivion because they waited in line for an hour to be seated only to wait another hour for their food to come up.
Back to the story: Cheese lady: AND HE NEEDS A REFULL. MY FOOD IS COLD- BLAH BLAH…” (Disclaimer. Her food wasn’t cold. I was crying when they finally handed it to me. I legit waited till they had it in tears)(Also as a server iykyk the tone and attitude she’s giving me)
So, at this point, much like Mob in Mob Psycho has his crazy meter, mine had hit the 100% jackpot of pure rage and adrenaline. I looked at her straight in her angry, boiling eyes, and I said.
“Ma’am… it’s almost like… it’s the busiest day of the year!”
Cheese lady: “YOU CAN GET YOUR BITCH ASS ATTITUDE OUT OF HERE!! cussing shrieks. indistinguishable shrieks of faux success at making a server cry
So I start pissing tears, as I do. I was done man. Legit worked my butt off to get two really crappy tips and then be cussed out by someone who looks like she’s never worked a day in her life. (Not stereotyping, I just mean these people have clearly never worked food)
Frodo (that busser) tells me what they said earlier and tells me to go tell Bob (the owner)
I go to Bob, tell him what they said and even what I said, and he says. “Wait right here, dear.”
I hide out in his office wiping my face as I hear the mean table screaming at him from down the hall. Then Bob pulls out The Big Guns to the big dude.
Bob: “WERE YOU BORN TO BE RUDE!!?”
Big Guy: “Wwehhh! My wife is the one who spoke to her! not me! 🥺🥺🥺👨🏻‍🦯‍➡️👨🏻‍🦯‍➡️”
Bob: “THAT DOESNT FREAKING MATTER. YOU DONT TREAT OUR STAFF LIKE THAT HERE!”
Cheese lady: “YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FUCKING PUSH ME EITHER!!!!!”
Bob: “I NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU! 💅👑“ (Multiple gawkers and two bussers confirmed she was full of crap)
Cheese lady: “UG! YA HUH” (paraphrased)
Then they were forced to leave and Bob let me wait on his family and they tipped me nice and I cried happy tears
☀️ THE END ☀️
Jk. There is more. They left a really annoying review on Google so that inspired me to post my experience. The owner and I were called hateful and she is still mad about the cheese. It’s my first bad review in the two and a half years I’ve worked here!
Also, Bob comped the entire meal of the poor souls that had to sit next to them and they said he did the right thing. Bob rocks!
Thanks for reading! Hope your Mother’s Day wasn’t too crazy and congrats on surviving it!!
(TLDR) Table is super mean I clap back super saiyan mode. Table gets HUGE MEAN and tries to go god tier Boss gets the final clap. Bob rocks
Edit: Sorry for formatting, I’m on mobile. I also fixed my typos but then deleted all of that and had to copy over from my notes again. Rip.

I can’t even bring myself to make dinner because the idea of having to get up and sit and wait in a cold kitchen for it to cook makes me so mad. what do you guys do on days like this

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

Well hi there! How's the weekend been treating you?
Mine's been alright, but that's not what you're here for is it?
You saw the title on this post and now you're all curious right?
I bet you're wondering what boyfriend stuff includes? Let's start with:

• Getting texted back regularly with an option for phone calls!
  
• Going out on dates with possible holding hands or making out!
  
• I'll make you laugh with all sorts of jokes from the sophisticated cynicism, cutting sarcasm to childish fart jokes I can do it all!
  
• You can get home cooked dinners! And breakfast too if I'm working overnights!
  
• You'll get all sorts of attention and compliments!
  
• I'm emotionally available and completely over my ex's!
  
• Flowers!
  

....and so much more!
Sounds pretty great right?
But who am I?
I'm a nearly middle aged divorced ex stand up comic that's worked himself into full on burnout working in hotels for the last twenty years. It's made into someone that's very empathetic and caring while still being to be cold as fuck when needed.
In my free time I'm kind of a traditional nerdy white guy. Gaming, cartoons (not anime though), science fiction, detective stories, alternative history, sketch comedy, various sitcoms, hiking, cooking and mowing the lawn occupy my off hours. I also tried getting back into writing again, but it's been challenging.
Now it's your turn! PM me and we can start planning the first date!

TW:Vent/Sh
My dad doesn't just beat me for no reason but I feel like when he does it's not necessary. Like he beat me for wasting trash out the trash can on accident in 8th grade. He beat me for not taking a shower early in elementary. and it's not just spankings he hits me with a leather belt in the same spot. He beat my sister for accidently buying a movie when she was in elementary. He would slap my brother. He says the only reason he doesn't slap me is because I'm a girl. But lately he says he will and I'm to big to get beat. He threatens to slap me when I try to talk or defend myself. He's fist fought my sister twice but it's because she said really messed up stuff to him. He makes me buy my own phone but buys my sister a phone even though her phone is fine. I got mine stolen after I got maced and he makes me buy it. I tracked my stolen phone but now he took it even though I paid for it. He wakes me and my siblings up and makes up clean the whole kitchen if we miss one spot on one dish. He makes me cook for him. He always yells and he calls me dumb because sometimes I don't catch on. Or because I'm forgetful. He got mad at me for choosing to go live with my mom. He got mad at me for drinking night quill when I had a cold he says I'm acting like a junkie like my mom. He yelled at me Infront of the whole class even though my teacher lied. His voice scared me. Every since I was little his voice scared me. When he calls my name I get scared then I go to him and he says something simple. He choked my dog because I corrected him when he was wrong. He smiled and apologized the next morning. He yells at me about touching my siblings things but I let them hold my stuff and they broke it but he didn't yell at them. Im not even scared of him anymore or at least I don't think I am Im just annoyed by him. But when I think about it I'm scared to tell him what want. I was scared for the past four years to tell him I wanted to live with my mom. He bought me a puppy just to make me give it away a few days later. He yells at me cause I called my sister a retard but they get to call me the b word and other stuff. Sorry if retard offense anyone at this point I'm desensitized. My dad talks bad about women. He talks badly about periods then ask e why I don't want to talk to him about it. He would get mad at me and then call me bipolar when I'm upset. He says I'm dumb and weak for self harming. He would always yell for hours then repeat it over again. He always targeted me. But I'm the one who dident want to talk bad about him. I'm the one who told my sister's not to us him for money. I'm the one that cooked for him that cleaned the house alone. I'm the one that listen to him drunk cry. I always tried to forgive him and try to see him as a better person. He abused my mom that's why she doesn't even like him. But I'm the only one that lived with him for four years and he still treats me different. He treat me and my other sister different. He cares about my half sisters more than me. They talk bad about my mom make her seem like a deadbeat but my mom takes care f us or tried by herself for years and he always helped my half sisters mom. He chooses my half sisters over me and my other sister. He called my sister many names like slut whore and stuff like that. I'm 15 by the way and my sister is 16. My half sister is 15 and my other half sister is 15. If anything happens he blame me and my sister's. Like the light cut off when we was cooking he blammed us. How the frick is that our fault. I can't remember all the stuff he did but he would say or do stuff that just makes me mad. He forced my sister and I to learn the amendments in 5th grade. I forced myself to learn but I forgot them again so that was a waist. I got blammed for everything he always believe my younger sister over me. I've seen him drunk many times he almost shot my cousin in front of me. He was drunk and tried to makey sister get in the car with him. I asked him not to drink on my birthday he got mad. But he was nice at times. He took us out to eat he bought us clothes. But that's the bare minimum. To get us clothes and give us food. But he took us to six flags which was fun. He buys us stuff like computers and other stuff. I know all this sounds ungrateful and dramatic but he makes me so angry I want to hurt him or myself I've thought about it when I was younger but I don't anymore. But is he abusive or am I just dramatic? Sorry this honestly became a rant/vent but I don't like that men.

I know that people say, if you have been thinking about getting a mobility aid for a long while, it's probably time. I think about a wheelchair all the time. But every time I think about a wheelchair or a disability pass for the car, I just hear my parents ragging on me my whole life about "Oh, you just need to exercise more", "Oh, you don't really need that do you?", or "Oh, you just need to cook at home more." I am so freaking tired day in and out. I am overweight from eating fast food, because the thought of meal planning, going to the store, and then actually cooking food makes my blood run cold. I want nothing more than to eat from home, but some nights I plan to and then end up eating nothing, because I literally come home to lay down and I can't get back up... I guess this is probably just a rant, but I'm really thinking a wheelchair would help.

My boyfriend is mad at me for not telling him what food is available. And more.
I told him what i knew, but I had to move his car so the lawn could be mowed and I complained.
I can't cook the food, I have MRSA on my arm and it hurts. I can't be bothered to go to the doctor because the receptionist I called told me the address was online. The online address needs updated since they moved a week ago.
I can't sleep in the night very well. I get night frights. And so I stay up and write and read. I fall asleep after taking my 7:30's.
I wake at maybe 9. I have to clean the litter box, clean the kitchen, the bathroom, organize the house. But someone in grave danger has been screaming my name, and the reverberation causes minute cracks in my bones. I'll break apart if he keeps it up.
I found cold brew concentrate on sale: $2 a bottle. I could only afford 5. So I've been having cold brew with potato products. Sometimes I switch it up with a ramen I add blue cheese to; I don't know, either.
But I'm staying awake more. I'm active more than I've been in 5 years. Per my dad's requests, I've reduced medicines and have been off antipsychotics for a few months.
But I feel awful because my boyfriend is angry with me. I didn't mean to upset him. I love my boyfriend.

Hi all, looking for some knowledge.
I like to keep my home cold, 70 degrees. My AC is 3 tons. Home is 2400 sq/ft under air. According to the logs of my thermostat, Honeywell T6 Pro (came with the house), it is running on average 15-18 hours a day. Is this normal or is my AC undersized. The house also struggles to keep the humidity down to around 55%. And if I’m cooking or have guest over it never stays at the target temp. And always end up being 1-3 degrees above target temp.
I have never had this issue with any apartment or home I have lived in before moving here 1 year ago. I have nothing but issues with this builder with cutting corners and this feels like one of them.
And yes I know most AC systems only allow for a 20 degree differential. Today got to a high of 93 degrees. And then we got some rain temp dropped to 84 degrees outside and the AC was still struggling for the rest of the day for 5+ hours.
Thanks in advance
Additional info,
Space Coast, Florida. 9 windows, with curtains on all of them.
Trane Outdoor unit: MOD. NO. 4TWR6036H1000AD
Air Handler: TEM6A0C36H31SCA

I live with three friends. While we each have our own rooms, we spend a lot of time together in each other’s spaces. I’m often the go-to person for help, always ready to assist my friends, even at the cost of my own needs. Sometimes, though, I struggle to find time for myself, and I fear they don’t understand my need for personal space. This has led me to a place where I habitually say yes to everything, even tasks I’d rather avoid.
For instance, one friend, who is now married, is experiencing tension with his wife and our group. He proposed that I move out with him and his wife to find a new place. Previously, he tended to offload responsibilities like cleaning, shopping, and cooking onto me. This overwhelming burden once pushed me to consider moving into a paying guest setup, where such responsibilities are managed. I worry he’ll revert to old habits, but instead of voicing my reluctance, I agreed to his plan. Now, I dodge the topic whenever he brings it up.
He’s a good friend, but he takes it personally and gives me the cold shoulder if I refuse him. The fear of confrontation and the desire to please everyone haunts me, but I’m unsure how to break this cycle. Attempts to assert myself have led to them taunting me. They even leverage personal information I’ve shared—like my fears, salary, and crushes—against me when it suits their needs. As a result, I’ve turned to writing as a safer outlet for my thoughts, but the constant anxiety and fear of rejection still paralyze me. I find myself unable to pursue what I truly want, trapped by the dread of their reactions and the potential fallout.
I apologise if it was too long :(

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
With the coming of morning Rene found the earth enwreathed in a grey and sinuous fog that was so thick he felt like he was standing on the shores of an ocean of sky. Only the lapping edges of the wide pond he had located was visible beneath rolling tails of mist. He couldn’t even tell where the heavens ended and the water began—they had all joined together at the waist in one vague mass. It all had filthy, sooty smell to it too, like the inside of a baker’s oven. As through a clouded window pane he saw a red and malevolent haze glowing on faraway slopes to the southeast. Zildiz noted his bewilderment and taunted him:
“Don’t you recognized your own handiwork when you see it? An entire biome went up in smoke because of the Engine’s rampage. Not that I mind—all this is Leaper territory after all.”
“Cry me a river,” Rene scowled, dipping his boots into pond and wading into it. It was only knee height at the deepest point. What’s more, he could see the blurred outlines of small darting shapes below the surface that he hoped were fish.
He made Zildiz sit with her back against a sapling and bound her to it with the spool of webbing he’d collected.
“Don’t get any ideas,” he told her. He slipped off his boots and raggedy socks, rolling up the jumpsuit around his calves and getting back into the water.
At first he tried to get at the fishes with his bare hands. It would be just as easy as catching the milky cave species they raise in the aquaculture ponds back in Ulysses, he thought. All one had to do was slip one’s hand in with glacial patience so as not to disturb them, dipping the palm right under their bellies. Rene had gotten so good at it as a boy that he could even tickle them right in the gills and under the chin. But he soon discovered that the fish on the surface world were nothing like their subterranean cousins. For one thing, they weren’t blind, or stupid. The little rascals fled when he floundered after them, feet slipping on the mossy stones that covered the pond bed. Zildiz looked on with interest as the single worst attempt at hunting she had ever had the misfortune to witness began. This Rene-creature was as clumsy as it was slow-witted, splashing around in fruitless pursuit of its feeble prey. How had these animals ever managed to conquer the stars? Zildiz watched as Rene stubbed his toes on a sharp rock and howled, falling arse-backwards and losing his visor in the process. He then painstakingly dredged the pond bottom for it, turning it up some time later all covered in water lilies and mud. Rene angrily slung his backpack back on and cleared the gunk out of his mask before fitting it back on his face, only to begin yelling as a river crab he’d left inside tried to crawl up his nose. He tore the mask off again and doused it in the pond, finally ridding himself of the curious crustacean.
“Phew!” he sighed with relief.
“Toss it in again,” Zildiz suggested gaily, “At least that way you might catch another.”
“Shut up,” Rene glowered, face going purple with rage. He grabbed the biggest stick of driftwood he could find and began beating the surface of the water as if it owed him money.
Zildiz hid a smile at that. She was famished and events had definitely taken a turn for the worse, but at least someone else was suffering more than she was.
And while this halfwit is preoccupied, Zildiz schemed, I’ll go ahead and signal the god for help. She activated the magnetosynaptic organ behind her inner ear and tried all the usual frequencies.
Nothing but static. Either her organ had been knocked out of commission with the loss of her exomorph’s functions, or the heavy smog caused by the wildfire was getting in the way of reception.
But more than this, a greater part of the Vitalus would be preoccupied with containing the damage to its work. As a shared consciousness It had unimaginable processing power, yet It tended to deal with the world in a holistic fashion, neglecting the individual elements. This did not mean that the god could not be effectively omniscient—It merely had a wholly different perspective and hierarchy of priorities than did Its mortal servants.
For problems on the micro scale, it did however deploy Hollowores or other Inkarnids. Zildiz wasn’t vain enough to think it would send such an avatar of creation and destruction just to retrieve one lone Gallivant. No help would be forthcoming for a while. No matter; she was certain that she could outsmart the Fleet-man soon enough.
Then something happened which drastically altered her perception of him and his kind. Rene grabbed another stick and banged the two pieces together, frowning with concentration. Without a word he returned to the survival kit and combined them with the spool of webbing, twisting them together into the silk and rotating them to create something that was greater than the sum of its parts.
Grinning evilly, the Fleet man took the two sticks and the webbing strung between them and gently lowered them into the pond. He then waited, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as a fish approached him. When it refused to come any closer, he took one of the white cubes and crumbled it into pieces, which he sprinkled liberally into the water right above his new tool. Eventually the fish took the bait and swam in for a nibble. In a flash Rene pulled up the net and held up a wriggling, pinknosed carp with an ecstatic cry of victory. Chuckling at his own cleverness, Rene hauled his catch to the bank and dashed its brains out on the rocks. He then repeated the process until he caught three more carp with the exact same method. He gutted and descaled the carp with his clasp knife in a trice.
Zildiz was seeing the boundless cunning of these creatures firsthand. It bothered her more than she cared to admit. Granted, if her exomorph was up and running she could’ve killed him in a heartbeat, humming sword or not. But the rate at which he had adapted to his surroundings was concerning.
For comparison, say a Gallivant wished to specialize in the catching of fish. It would have had to ask the Vitalus to edit its gilt helix so that its exomorph could accept the grafting of an appendage designed solely to catch fish. This was assuming the Vitalus had calculated that the addition of this new capability would not lead to the eventual collapse of the riverine ecosystem in the next ten or twenty generations, or that the Gallivant in question could be entrusted with such a responsibility, assuming that its lineage’s previous contributions to the Great Game rendered it worthy of the sudden advantage.
Meanwhile, Rene had developed the net tool in less than the span of an hour, with absolutely zero regard for the consequences of his actions. Zildiz could only imagine what an entire nation of Renes could do if they were given time to multiply beyond Arachnea’s carrying capacity. Clearly this Fleet was a threat not to be taken lightly.
Rene finished cleaning the fish and skewered them on sharp sticks. He then found some pebbles and started banging them together to produce sparks above a pile of bark scrapings and twigs, careful placing one of the brown lumps from the kit inside. It was just as successful as his first attempts at fishing; he smacked the rocks together until he bruised his fingers, then hurled them cursing into the fog.
“Sonofa…” he swore, squatting next to Zildiz and looking at the raw fish dejectedly.
“What, you can manage all that but can’t get a fire going?” she asked, nodding at the blaze in the distance. Rene made no reply, too busy sucking on his thumb. Suddenly he unsheathed the sword and Zildiz nearly panicked, thinking that she had finally annoyed him to the point of violence. Instead, Rene picked up a chunk of quartz crystal off the ground and cut it in half, producing a shower of sparks as the edge met the mineral. Rene piled the fuel again and repeated the trick with the sword and the stone until the tinder caught and tiny streamers of smoke wafted up. Cupping his hands around the precious heart of flame, Rene blew on it lovingly and smiled as it grew into a merry, crackling cookfire.
Making sure to give Zildiz a smug look, Rene sat cross-legged next to it and began to barbeque his meal. Zildiz had built fires herself during the cold monsoon seasons as a special allowance granted by the Vitalus for extreme weather fluctuations, but those had been for warmth, not to burn food with.
The smell of the browning fish skin flooded Rene’s mouth with spit. He saw Zildiz licking her chops unconsciously, said:
“Don’t worry. You’ll get yours.”
Sure enough he held out first batch of carp for her to eat, blowing on it to cool it. Zildiz even forgot her hostility for a moment as she seized the fish with her jaws.
“I can feed myself, you know,” she told him between crunchy mouthfuls of bone and white flesh. It was delicious! An explosion of flavors that was at once both salty and slightly burnt, the meat firm yet succulent. Swallowing greedily, she pulled the fish off its stick and ate it whole, the fish’s head crackling under her molars. Rene watched her choke the thing down with a mix of amazement and alarm, then replied:
“I would consider giving you an arm free to eat with, but you’re a walking arsenal, lady. Is it good, though? My cooking?”
“Passable,” Zildiz lied with a shrug of her shoulders. Her affected disdain did not stop her from giving the rest of the carp a longing look. Rene knew she was hungry and tore the next fish in half, gorging himself and giving Zildiz the rest. Very soon all that was left of their breakfast was a pile of bones and scales that Rene kicked back into the pond. He sat back and propped his bare feet next to the fire to dry his toes.
“Uuurrpp!” Zildiz belched appreciatively.
“Bless you,” Rene commented, and settled down for a nap. He could only rest his eyes for a moment, as the woman would slit his throat as soon as he let his guard down. But the fatigue of the constant marching and fighting amassed on the edges of his consciousness. Slowly but surely, he was pulled down into the untroubled realm of sleep, free from the cares of his existence.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

Do you ever cheat at Pikmin Bloom? If so, what are some ways you think are acceptable vs. unacceptable?
Shaking your phone instead of walking to get steps - If I'm within 100 steps I will. Like if I just got a gold seedling and am not ready to go out yet, or if I'm growing something and it's almost done. More than 100 is just tedious.
Planting flowers by start / stop every five minutes - Again, only if I'm within a couple hundred flowers and can't plant normally. Like if it's time to go to work but I need 100 - 200 more flowers to get to the next stage, and also have a mushroom going. I've also seen my boss do this at his desk in the winter when it's dead cold.
Driving around slowly instead of walking to plant flowers - Never.
Things that are not technically cheating but feel like it:
Slow cooking mushrooms with an absurdly small squad in preparation for a challenge - No.
Buying flowers from the shop - No.
Do you have any naughty methods of cheating you'd like to share?

(new account because I don't want to run the risk of anyone I know seeing)
Tldr; Being distance fucking sucks, it's something completely out of my control and it's the reason we're failing
Sorry this is messy as shit I am awful at putting my thoughts together and my grammar isn't the best
I [18m] dating [17m] for a year and a half now, things have been perfectly fine up until now but idk what to do. We got into an argument and I upset him, I apologised a ton because it was all over a misunderstanding and I felt awful over it. He told me he was going to leave because he couldn't wait the time it would take for us to meet up, since we're both young and broke.
He told me he still loves me regardless and he'd come back for me in the future and he didn't wanna leave me permanently, and I truly do believe him. But it feels weird, I feel like there's stuff he isn't telling me. The entire time we were arguing after he upset me he was constantly apologising and saying how he loves me but we can't be together.
I completely understand him needing time away, he said he needs to focus on school and not be online a ton, and I can respect that. However at the same time I feel like he's trying to detach himself from me and he doesn't truly want to leave. He asked me how can I make me hate him and what would it take to get me to leave and he's just overall acted really cold towards me, but it broke at times. Whenever he was tired or distracted he was back to being sweet and loving as always. I don't really understand what's going on with him, and I'm really worried. I haven't seen him online on any of the games we played frequently, but I've seen him online on discord. Him not playing stuff for so long makes me think something's happened to him, we played a ton before and he would play in his spare time too and he's always really enjoyed them, so I'm worried that something bad has happened.He randomly disappeared for a month after everything seemed fine and then blocked me without a word, but only on one platform. I still have him on absolutely everything else, and he's talked to me a bit- but only through someone else. Not once has he actually said he doesn't want to be with me as a person, he's just said he doesn't want to be with me in this situation. I do kinda feel the same in a way because distance causes us a lot of unavoidable problems.Hes always told me if anything ever happens between us he'd take me back regardless, and I do trust him, it just kinda hurts seeing him talk to other people and not me (this is definitely a me problem but it still hurts yk) Throughout the last few times I spoke to him he's said multiple times how much he hates the fact we're long distance and how everything would be perfect without it. We've never once argued over something non-distance related so I completely agree with what he's said. Im trying my best to give him space but he's just on my mind constantly.
I'm just getting really mixed signals from him, I have full faith that he loves me even if we aren't talking right now, it just hurts. I miss him a ton, and you may be thinking, why don't I just drop him? I can't. I love him so much and we have an amazing future planned out together, I can't just let go of that. I've been trying my best to improve myself as much as possible in the time he's been gone, (dressing better, eating better, learning to cook etc.) but I've also been awful mentally. I've been trying to save/raise money to meet him too, but he's literally on the other side of the world so it's gonna be expensive as fuck and that's kinda of an issue for an unemployed 18 year old. I'm willing to wait for him forever, it's just extremely hard to cope alone and I've had a ton of suicidal thoughts these past few weeks. I'm only still alive because I have hope that we won't be distance one day.
I'm kinda looking for help, I'm autistic and have a really hard time understanding other people's emotions, could someone maybe try to see it from his perspective? As much as I try to I don't really think I understand how he feels and id really like to. He means the world to me and I just wanna fix things somehow.
Sorry if this is all just soppy and pathetic i just wanna get it out anonymously lol

[ [FIRST] [NEXT>]

Season 10 “Days of Fury” - Episode 2 “Visiting Omen”

He had hoped for a boring day. Boring days are good at work, and Santos was already expecting to not have many of them for a while.
The first couple of days were boring, as usual- Blackriver is a small town, and the worst that had happened was Nila and Kessa making a few wellness checks after worried calls from neighbors. A couple of people in denial, a few ashamed at their own violent outbursts and a stern warning to Tamm about painting others’ properties without asking first.
This morning, however, began with an all-hands meeting. There were no meeting rooms in the office, so they made do in the general workspace room, they all stood there at the center while Keya looked them over.
“We have received a report from a neighboring city about a convoy of protestors making its way to Blackriver” she describes without tone. At this point nobody bothers interrupting.
“This convoy is comprised of approximately four hundred and seventy eight individuals of multiple species, primarily human and venlil but with operationally relevant representations of the entire spectrum of size and mobility types” her paws are behind her back, her ears focused directly ahead, her eyes centered to keep the entire team on the core of her focus “They have crossed multiple cities already, generally engaging in verbal sparring with any figure of authority, parading signs and banners denouncing all manners of authorities as well as occasionally engaging in physical altercations with officers.”
“They are also known to engage in vandalism. Though primarily aimed at exterminator and police precincts as well as public offices, they have already caused considerable collateral to others they have identified as ‘collaborators’” there’s a single heartbeat of waiting for breath before she continues “They have, however, not shown to be an incredibly organized group or one with a clear goal and objective. The convoy appears to contain only extremely emotionally charged people with no clear overarching goal.”
“We are incapable of dealing with the situation should they turn aggressive, as such we will be simply maintaining watch and relocating the populace should they become a problem.” Then, she picks up her holopad and passes it to Lunek beside her “They can only follow one path with the entire convoy, the central street, therefore I have divided it into four sectors. One of each will be assigned to a sector.”
First her ears turn to the first target “Lunek, sector one at the entrance. As the most approachable member of the precinct your task is to give an initial image of harmlessness. Do not engage first, do not take initiative against them. Ensure the members of the herd in the area are warned of their approach. If they become aggressive, retreat and focus on the escape of the herd.”
She tilts her head a little bit, turning her ears the other way “Marik, sector two. Mostly the commercial area, your task is ostensive protection to lower the chances of them initiating aggression. Whereas protection of the herd is first priority your second priority is ensuring Tenve’s Hardware Store as well as Sunbreeze Meals and Watchful Café remain capable of providing anyone whose residences become damaged.” suddenly, she turns her head entirely to face Marik “Ostensive protection means dissuasion, ensure that they know they are not under threat and as long as those specific areas are not engaged, do not provoke”
Next in her line of fire is Santos “As our human officer you will be in sector three, nearby the precinct. They are liable to become most agitated in this area and your presence may serve to calm them. You are not to engage, if deemed necessary the precinct’s materials are considered expendable, do not attempt to stop them”
“Sector four, the exit of town, will be with me to ensure that they have fully left Blackriver and will not attempt to turn back” then she tilts her ears again “Aren, you will gear up with a CCG and remain out of view range, your task will be quick emergency response should the need arise.” she then points her tail at the last three officers “Vess, your task will be to inform the herd and ensure a clear path for the convoy while Nila and Kessa will gather all of our medical supplies and set a staging area out of the convoy’s range. Organize ambulance assistance from Striped Hill and Everrain”
Then, she turns her ears around to focus each one in turn “As any attempt at aggression will end only in negative consequences, and in order to reduce the apparent levels of threat you will be unarmed. The estimated time of arrival is a third of a claw, ready yourselves and be at your post in time. Dismissed.”
“Not sure if I like or I don’t that we had the cold bastard right now” Aren says, as soon as Keya had left the room “Maybe we should move in closer when the convoy gets to sector four?”
“Probably a good idea to be nearby” Santos adds with a sigh “They might take umbrage with her demeanor, hopefully they won’t be set off too hard.”
And with silent signs of agreement all of the officers of Blackriver depart for preparations. The first ones to leave the precinct are the ones in charge of support, the two girls set off early to find someone willing to permit usage of their lawn as a possible impromptu field hospital and a little while later Aren leaves with a heavy CCG.
Slowly, the clock ticks to the appointed claw… And soon enough, Lunek can see in the distance the incoming omen of people. At first a distant line in the horizon, slowly the dark mark on the road coalesces into distinct shapes, the shapes of hundreds of vehicles slowly rolling down the road.
When the first few get close to the initial buildings of the main street, the entire convoy slows down. Their process of preparation is seemingly laborious, each vehicle houses multiple people at a time, smaller cars full to the brim, flatbeds with more people on their cargo space than can safely be contained, even buses conscripted for the effort. They carry with them signs, flags, a multitude of symbols as they dismount their vehicles and start spreading out to fill the street.
They seem to naturally form two distinct yet highly mixed groups, at its most distinctive is the pack of humans who keep a good distance from each other. But they are not alone in this group as takkan, mazic, yotul, zurulian and even drilvar form this central group. But flowing around them, not avoiding their presence but never infringing in their space is the grey mass of venlil, packed tight together, and mixed in there adding color to the monochromatic flux are krakotl, tilfish, sulean, iftali, sivkit and even a seemingly very confused duerten.
And at the very core of the moving group are their vehicles, which gently start rolling forward again as the group starts moving. Lunek simply waits, silently, by the side of the road, his ears attentively swiveling from one side to the other, expression having given way to function. Before the first of the convoy even arrives close he turns to the side, making a pointing sign with his tail. A woman who had been watching from her yard flicks her right ear and runs back inside.
He continues to wait, scanning around at all times for the presence of… Anything. The street is empty of locals when the first visitors start to alight. The convoy is loud, their symbols carry a loudness of colors and their vehicles make as much noise as they can to draw attention, but those who walk seem content in allowing their tools to speak for them, for now. Lunek tries to make sense of the banners and signs, but the messages are disparate as the group- Some speak of injustices against their people, some speak of anger at invaders, some speak of betrayal.
“Fuck off, fireman!” comes the harsh bark of a human, causing Lunek to flinch. But flinch is all he does, he simply starts walking alongside the moving convoy.
The exterminator’s attention is drawn to the details of the few people he can distinguish amongst the mass. Something tickles at his pattern-recognition but he cannot quite ascertain what for a while, until a lightly limping mazic makes her way to the edge of the mass “Want to finish the job?!” she trumpets, her form towering over his.
“I’m just observing, ma’am.” Though the tremor of his voice is noticeable, he remains stoic. But her proximity makes him notice something about her body, marks in her wrists, neck and feet. Though mazic have powerful wrists and knuckles upon which they support the front half of their weight, her left wrist seems completely incapable of it, giving her a limp particular to a three-point walk. “To make sure there’s no impediment on your path” he notices the leathery skin around her left wrist is deeply blackened.
“Oh, ‘no impediment’ is that it? So everyone that lives here is an impediment?!” her voice booms.
“Ma’am” still, he does not yield nor does he break his pace following the convoy “We have not done anything other than inform our people of your presence…” for a half second all he hears is the sound of his own heart “We can’t do anything else.”
Those words, then, sealed his fate. The first shout to echo in his direction was a yotul howling “Yeah you’re useless!” and soon the avalanche came in multiple voices and languages “Can’t do shit!” “You’re just here to hurt people!” “Useless crap!” “Idiot!” and many more.
With every step and twitch the very average exterminator puts all of his focus on just being there. He lets himself cower a little bit, against the barrage it is difficult not to, but he continues to accompany. A few curious coats step out from their houses to watch, but the front of the convoy seems far too focused on the sole exterminator in view to bother anyone else.
A few steps ahead, an older venlil with a cane has moved the closest to the convoy as any watcher has up to now. Seeing her proximity to the increasingly rowdy crowd causes Lunek to speed up, quickly approaching her “Leva-”
But his words are stalled when she puts a paw on his shoulder, she gently puts her head against his for just a second “You’re doing good pup, keep at it” she mutters to him before breaking contact and turning around to walk back inside. He can spy her grandchildren looking on through the door. Lunek looks back at the still-shouting moving convoy, takes a deep breath, and continues to accompany them forward. A small pawful of them, however, seem to have fallen silent.
Once having reached the limit of his assigned zone, however, Lunek stops. He watches the convoy move forward, past the houses, now noisier than before. The initial hollering at him had turned into disjointed screams at some indistinct foe- Though the herd had been noticed of a foe, it was yet unaware of who, or what, said foe was. So for now it howled at the ineptitude of… Someone. And as the last of the convoy passes beyond the imaginary line of his duty, Lunek lets out a deep sigh and allows himself to sit down on the ground.
He stays there for a moment, without thought, simply letting the tension, confusion and fear permeate his body until a gentle paw touches his arm. He doesn’t need to look to identify it, he lets his lover use her strength to prop him up, raising him to his feet “Keina you shouldn’t-”
“Neighbor’s looking over Tiss” his wife wraps her arms and tail around him “I’m not leaving you alone.” she stays like that for a second, before breaking off “Do you need to go after them?”
“No”
Marik stalks through the sidewalk, moving with energy. His speed outpaces the movement of the convoy, his paws twitch to grasp at something that isn’t there and a deep and intense motion makes his short fur stand on end. He had let the convoy’s head move in front of him, simply standing still as he assessed as many as he could in the mass, and now he had begun to move towards the front again.
As he stalked forward he focused his sight on every member of the convoy that seemed of interest. A human whose clothes seemed suspiciously loose, a venlil whose movements were far too stiff, a gojid who kept his claws behind his back. He stared at each like they were his quarry, analyzing every piece of movement they made for threats, and yet aside from the challenge in the human’s gaze he saw no danger arise.
Tenve had closed his shop, so as the convoy moved forward Marik simply continued to follow along, scanning the crowd for threats. But the next point of interest arrives, and he rushes ahead placing himself in front of the only restaurant of the town. Sunbreeze Meals wasn’t a very common sort of restaurant, Blackriver did not have enough visitors for a normal restaurant to be profitable and was small enough most people had their meals at home, it most often served takeout for those farmers who’d spend so long in the field they would return home without the energy to feed themselves.
Sparing a look inside at the only five tables, Marik couldn’t keep a small thought away from his mind. How most who got their meals from Sunbreeze these days did so because they enjoyed the cooking rather than their need of work, ever since the sunspeck population has been brought under control and the maintenance of the fields had become much smaller. He feels the presence long before he can recognize what led him to feel it and turns to stare at a group of six that approach the entrance: Two humans, a tilfish, two gojids and a takkan had broken off from the convoy and approached the restaurant.
He traces his color band over each in turn, and they all bristle at his stare. One of the humans hesitates before continuing to walk inside, and Marik simply remains by the door with his arms crossed, left ear twisted as far back as he could to listen to the inside.
“What have you got here?”
“W-we mostly ha-have ready ma-made meals to go or- or- Or you can look over the menu”
“There’s no need to stutter, y’know”
“So-sorry-”
“Really, after everything y’all are still with this predator crap?”
The chimes on the door echo for the second time in sequence as Marik makes his way inside. The tilfish had started to lean over the counter while the other five had arrayed themselves behind her. They all turn their attention to him as he enters, including the venlil manning the counter. Marik keeps his gaze directly on the tilfish for a few uncomfortable seconds, before looking at the man behind the counter and making a simple sign with his tail, a short vertical bob with the tip and a slow horizontal swipe. It’s meaning simple: >Safe<.
After a few seconds someone else appears from the kitchen. The tall venlil carries a large stack of plastic boxes in his arms, all of them seemingly designed to attach to themselves so as to be carried with ease. He puts them down with a resounding crash on the counter, and opens up his voice with ice “Farmer’s Pots, good meal when you’re working and can’t go home.” With each word the owner of the restaurant and main cook comes closer and closer to the tilfish, until the last “Ten credits each.”
Nobody moves for a couple of seconds, and then one of the humans steps closer and brings a holopad over to the credit reader. There’s a noise indicating payment, and then the owner raises his head and tilts it to focus his favored eye and both of his ears at the man who paid “Now,” he shifts register in his voice and the language he speaks in “fuck off” he finishes.
With no small amount of surprise the group of six retrieve the stack of packaged meals, carefully walking out and back into the convoy. Marik stays behind for a moment “Didn’t know you spoke human”
“Pup’s enamored with their languages. Of course, first greek words he learns is swearing.”
Outside, Marik stalks further ahead to the next point of interest. He moves faster than the convoy, and has time to move in front of it. For a few meters the street is still clear as he arrives to find a group of people standing in front of the Watchful. Standing there were all of its employees, and even all of its regulars, twenty people total standing there as if they were having the most normal day. If not for their raised ears tracking every noise coming from down the street and their swaying tails swinging about like angry beasts.
One of them simply points his tail at the other side of the street as Marik comes closer, and the hunter doesn’t need a second command to understand the meaning. They have this, he has a less practical but just as important duty. He crosses the street quickly before the convoy starts coming closer, and heads towards the park.
As the regulars of the Watchful had feared, it took little time until a large group had broken off from the convoy. With the town on alert about the convoy they had found themselves bereft of prey and now this group had set out to find some, anyone who might be willing, or not, to listen to their grievances. And what is clearly a place designed for people to congregate looked most appetizing.
Marik shadowed the group as they moved through the park, but they were accompanied by nothing but silence. It wasn’t until they ran into the centerpiece of the park that he took initiative, stepping ahead of the group and simply… Standing there a distance away from the tree of many scions, between it and the group.
“What’s so important over there, fireman?” it was a venlil who asked, but his usage of an english word was not lost on Marik.
“A place you will respect” the exterminator has his arms crossed, the one good portion of his gaze set on the man who asked “This is a grave.”
Though the group that now prowled was large, those who heard were taken aback. One such, however, approaches closer. He was a venlil whose fur shifted between a soft, brownish color and a dirty white “A tradition of the tenets right? One of those family trees?” The man would have been distinctive in any other group due to his missing patches of fur around neck, wrists, even portions around his head. But such signs of long term damage were common in the convoy.
Interest. They had shown true interest, or at least one of them had. “No, but similar… The forgotten tree is a grave for the forgotten.” He felt like these people, at least the ones before him, could probably understand the meaning of this place “It is of no tradition. Someone, a long time ago, wanted to honor someone who was gone but whose name was not meant to be remembered. Someone who had disappeared in the system… So they borrowed on another’s tradition, and added a scion to this tree, with something in their memory. Others have done so similarly, until it became… A grave for the forgotten”
“Didn’t think you’d be worried about this kind of place” it’s a human that speaks up this time
“Our duty is to protect this town, what you think-” but Marik’s words are interrupted by that same venlil who had asked before. His demeanor suddenly shifts, his ears perk up and his entire body shifts forward for a moment. He hesitates, for a second everyone’s focus is on him, and then he runs towards the tree.
Marik follows behind, stopping just by the man’s side as he finds himself at the base of the tree. The man makes a direct line to somewhere, something he had found from the distance, as if it had called him. He finds a thick and heavy branch that had been bent down by the weight of its scions and memories, near its base and speaking of a memory left behind long ago is a braid of fur made of three colors, a dirty white, a soft brown and a dark grey, bound by the braids are two beads.
The man raises up a paw, but does not touch it. As if cradling it, he recites the words engraved in one of the beads “I will cross every star to return home” others have come closer to listen to the man’s hoarse voice “There will always be a home for you” he reads of the second one. The names on the beads have been scratched out. The man falls on his knees “S-she kept her promise and… I couldn’t keep mine…”
Marik steps back as he watches two others come closer to comfort the man. He looks as a few others approach with more caution, looking up at the tree with a bit more reverence than they had before. Then, he turns around and starts heading back towards the main street.
Gazing out as the convoy gains a new flux, some leave it as it passes to move towards the park while others leave the park to rejoin the convoy, Marik simply stays there at the side of the street looking as stern as he could. Though the noise of the convoy remains great, here in this portion it seems to die down a little. A thought crosses his mind as he turns an ear as far back as he can, a thought he can’t help but voice “I wonder how many are looking at their own graves…”
As the convoy progresses, Santos simply stands by the front of the precinct, hands in his pockets. He watches the convoy arrive, heart beating fast, constrained hands the only reason he hasn't started shaking quite yet. He starts tapping his right foot as he watches the first few people cross by without noticing what this place is yet, everyone knows where the precinct is, so aside from the words printed on the sign by the entrance there is no other marker of what this building’s purpose might be.
Of course, it is impossible for nobody to notice. The entire convoy seems to stop as soon as a zurulian riding on the shoulders of a human points a claw at the building and says something. A large group breaks away at the command, all of them holding disparate signs and messages. They turn on the building with enough roars that whatever they are attempting to transmit is lost on him.
Santos is thankful his hearing isn’t nearly as good as his coworkers’, as the cacophony is already overwhelming him. He changes stances slightly, taking his hands out of his pockets and crossing his arms. This prompts a small group to turn their looks at him, the focus easily identifiable with the humans in their midst, focus which made the hair in the back of Santos’ neck stand on end. Living in this place had refined his sense of danger, but he didn’t need that to realize what could happen.
It was a group of five that approached, four humans and a venlil. “Didn’t think they’d be letting humans live out here in the boonies” said one of his kin.
Santos just shrugs “Got hired to work here. Honestly, rural folk get a needlessly bad reputation, most of the time they just don’t care as long as you’re not bothering them”
“Really? In my-”
Santos interrupts the man “Cut it out” there are many ways in which humans make themselves obvious, many of which are their eyes. Santos did understand the fear of them and why it was primal, it was not the fear of the eyes but the fear of attention, it was knowing you were under the scrutiny and judgment of another that set off that emotion. It was rarely the eyes that showed this attention for most species, but for humans it was, and the man’s clear gaze on his badge made the entire situation clear to him “Stop beating around the bush and say it already.”
Someone else is who speaks. The tall woman starts not with words, however, but by spitting on Santos’ uniform “You fucking traitor” her voice is both fierce and cold at the same time. A very emotional coldness.
“There we go” he sighs “Just… Move on. We’re not getting anything out of this conversation”
“Why?” It was the venlil in the group that started this time “These people hate you, they hate you for what you are! Why do you work for them?!”
Santos rubs his eyes and sighs “Because someone has to. Change only happens when you make it happen, simple as that”
“Change?!” another one of the humans howls “Do you think those people can change?! You know the truth, those fuckers have never done anything good!”
“You know, if you had read your history books…” Santos stares at the one who had just had their outburst “You’d remember that we once thought the very same about the police” there’s the sound of glass breaking, but he doesn’t reaction “And a lot of us still do”
The human staring him down shifts their gaze slightly at the broken window of the precinct, then back at Santos “A broken window is easy to fix” he shrugs “As I was saying. Same shit.” he crosses his arms again “There’s a role those people play, a role that needs to be played because it’s important. Different name, different problems, still the same shit. Gotta fix this, I’m doing my part” he then stares at the venlil in the group “You do yours. Simple as that.”
“Role?!” the venlil of the group steps closer “What role could they possibly have?! They only exist to hurt people!”
Santos steps back, and raises his eyes a little bit. Of course, the classics had shown themselves in this instance. With as many humans as there are in the crowd there were now quite a few objects in the air, most clearly aimed at the precinct behind him. Though given the failed arc of some of them it was clearly not just the humans indulging in such a tried and true method.
“I used to be a wildlife preserve ranger” Santos then focuses his gaze on the aggravated venlil “This is a frontier town, if you walk in the brushes with shorts you’ll walk out with your ankles numb. The athai out there are rather harmless, but they keep the sunspecks under control.” He takes another step back “Since coming here I’ve been pest control, had to catch an exotic animal set loose, investigated a murder, helped stop a child from taking her own life, stopped large scale fights, helped a dozen people avoid being arrested for self defense and helped break a fucking siege”
Santos cracks his knuckles “There’s roles. Jobs that need done and there is one fucking organization doing it all. That is a problem.” Then, he sighs and takes a few more steps to the side, offering indifference from this point on “There’s nothing I can say that would make you calm down.” he says one final time “Just make sure not to injure yourselves in the process, alright?” His words seemed to be enough to make the small group cease trying to interact, as the convoy had begun moving again. Though the one human who had called him a traitor gets one final parting shot at the precinct “Where the hell did you get an egg in this planet…” Santos says with a raised eyebrow as the projectile impacts the front door.
Keya stands by a large sign, the same one that welcomes you into Blackriver on one side and sees you out at the other, the official limit of the town. Her arms behind her back, her attention directly towards the front of the convoy as they march. Something gains the whole of her attention, the car in the front. Someone draws her focus, a human with a megaphone on top of the car. The man shouts words of encouragement at the people behind him with the megaphone before turning to his holopad, then he bends over downwards to discuss something with the driver.
She simply remains there, waiting for the convoy to pass. But instead of moving on out of the city, here the convoy stops completely. Keya observes as the further end of the convoy starts to slowly compact upon itself, and her ears pick up something “Alright everyone, start getting ready, next town over is more than a claw away, make sure you’ve left nothing behind” the words were not meant for her, nor for anyone too far. They come from the same man she had seen standing on top of the car, but he had now climbed down and was talking with a group of multiple species.
It is clear they have some degree of leadership, though the convoy does not stop cleanly nor does it begin to organize with alacrity they do respond to the group’s organization. So Keya keeps her focus on them as they point, wave and talk between themselves, others and devices. But at least one of them has noticed her attention, a gangly and light-skinned human with fire-red hair, the man that was atop the car. He starts walking in her direction, before turning around for one final set of commands as he walks backwards “And make sure the guys at the back got all the crap! We’re here to be heard, not to trash the city!” he says before turning back again to head towards her. A venlil with pure white fur erupts from inside the car he was riding, quickly dashing to his side as they notice where he was going.
In a few moments both have come up to her, the human looking down at her with the venlil bristles at his side “Saw anything interesting, fireman?”
“What are you doing here?”
“What? Isn’t it obvious?!” it was the venlil that roared a response “You saw all of it! You know what they’ve done to us! What they’ve done to everyone! And you still work for those brahking monsters! It’s like you’re thankful they made you a cripple!”
The human puts a hand on the venlil’s shoulder, calming her demeanor just a little bit “We’re here because honestly, we’re all too tired of being fucking ignored is what. So what the fuck are you gonna do?!”
“I have put the wrong emphasis” Keya says with her lack of tone. She can see the human shiver just a little bit “My task is to ensure the safety of this town. Your convoy is a danger. We have eight field-capable officers, we cannot ensure the safety of the residents against a group like yours. People will take actions for reasons, you have broadcast your reasons clearly. You have chosen this place for a reason which I cannot ascertain.”
She makes sure her ears are trained towards both the human and the venlil, an action which causes the venlil to cower behind her partner “We do not house government agencies. This is a farming town of little note. The local precinct is a simple precinct, we have no regulatory or command authority. The town population is approximately double that of the number of your convoy. We have no individuals of appreciable social or political reach. There is nothing in Blackriver of interest to people attempting to change government policy, nor have there been actions taken here that I can identify as being cause for retaliatory actions within the context of your message.”
“I must ensure this does not happen again and the only way of doing so is minimizing our attractivity as targets. A logical assumption of your choice of quarry would be a town with the presence of politicians, a large city with constant news coverage, cities housing important government agencies or those containing the Regional Firebases”
“So I ask again. What are you doing here?”
The two remain silent for a few seconds, before the human turns around with a mouth noise “Whatever, I don’t need to explain myself to someone that won’t listen. Come on!” he starts to stalk back towards the car, but stops once he notices his venlil companion wasn’t moving.
The snow-white venlil has their focus on Keya, who offers a simple low forward swipe of her tail, a sign to proceed. Still, the venlil seems frozen in place until the human comes back and grabs hold of their paw with a gentle touch. At which point both finally return to the convoy.
Keya remains at the side of the road, watching as the convoy readies itself again to leave. People get back inside cars, they hop on the back of trucks and load themselves into buses. She continues to watch as the convoy takes its time riding out, making their way out of the town.
Once it is finally gone, multiple footsteps sound behind her. When she turns around she meets her officers, having returned from their assigned positions “They have left. I expect your reports of what happened in each sector by the end of your shifts” she states plainly, before looking at Santos “They did not appear to have a specific reason for targeting Blackriver.” The question remains unspoken.
The human officer just shrugs “Sometimes, you don’t know what you’re doing. We’re just a little town, I doubt they even know what exactly they’re angry about.” He looks at the tail end of the convoy as it leaves “Town was probably just a place they felt safe going to.”
“D-do you think we might get more like that” Lunek says, at the back of the group.
“Who knows…” Santos sighs “But if human history applies anywhere here… This is just a sign of worse things to come”
[ [FIRST] [NEXT>]
And thus the omen passes by. Feelings, emotions of all sorts, without a plan or a reason other than just their own rage and distress.
Did any of these even know what they were doing? And how much worse can it be when they do?

So I just got accepted to volunteer at Big Dub this year. I've always wanted to go but never had the money or the opportunity to take off but this year I'm saying screw it and I'm going to take off regardless and go.I live in Baltimore, Maryland, while Big Dub is located in Pennsylvania, 121 miles away. I am considering on biking it, I know that's crazy but I think it's an adventure of a life time to do it and the fact I don't have a car. Lol What I really want to know is if I bike it is a hammock and a sleeping bag good enough for sleeping? I hear it gets cold at night but also what do I do for food considering food doesn't really last long in a cooler. On the website it says people cook out but what is that like on the first day before your meat goes bad or do you guys just refill it everyday?

First lf all, hello potatoes! This is my first ever post on anything, so bear with me!
I (21f), have an aunt who I've finally decided to go no contact with after years of her bs. For the sake of this post, let's call her EA. EA has always been a narcissist, though none of us really did anything about it for a while.
For instance, when I was young, about 12 or 13, she decided it would be a good idea to take me and my three siblings to a youth group, even though we never wanted to. She pretty much dragged us over there and would act like she was doing something good for us so we could pay her back later. We never wanted to go, because of some issues we had with the last religious group we went to, and it became painful for us to deal with.
Anyway, we ended up being late to an event one night, and the entire 30 minute drive down, she had been complaining about how late we were. Once we had gotten to the building, she went inside and talked to the person in charge about it. My siblings and I had come in and she locked eyes with me.
"Thanks a lot, kids."
That's all she had to say to us, then proceeded to complain to the person in charge over the whole ordeal. Being as young as I was and as sensitive as I was at the time, I held on to that feeling. Eventually, we stopped going, again because it was hard for us and EA made it unbearable.
Several years went by, and not long after I had graduated, she had come back into my life, in a much more violent way than before. I had moved out for school and work, so I wasn't physically there, but I heard about it after the fact. It turns out, while my parents and EA had gone to an appointment they both had in the nearest city (3+ hour drive), she had attacked my mother. Not verbally, but physically. She had pounced on her and left scratches and bruises. The cause of the fight? Some water on her butt. She threw a whole fit and physically attacked my mother, over a little bit of water on her butt.
Let me tell you, I was fuming when I had heard about it. She even went so far as to insult us when she attacked my mother, and I'll never forget it.
"You're raising your kids to be just like you!"
She made it sound like a bad thing for us to turn out like my mother. Now, my mother is a kind woman with a soft heart and a soft spot for dogs and cats. She loves crystals and plants, and she loves cloudy days and being by the ocean. She accepts all of us for who we are, and makes inappropriate jokes for us to laugh at. To hear EA insult my mother made me angry, but she had told me not to put any energy into it.
EA began to get worse afterwards. I was working a job that was slowly killing me, and whenever she'd visit, she had that sickly sweet 'I'm tolerating you enough to talk to you' look on her face and tone in her voice. When I was moved to nights, I was hoping to never deal with her again. But then, my grandmother fell down.
I heard about it during one of my shifts, and when I had gotten off, I couldn't sleep. I was afraid something would happen to her if I was asleep, so I stayed awake until my bf (21m) woke up. I told him the situation and we had a talk about it, and we both agreed that it would be best if I moved back to take care of her. So, on my first day off, I packed all my stuff and left. I texted my boss, who I wasn't on good terms with, and told her the situation. I pretty much handed in my two week notice, but only gave her two days.
So, I came home and moved in with my grandma so I could take care of her. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, anything and everything she needed done, I would do it. I was lucky enough to be able to bring my dog, a chihuahua dashund pug mix, to live with me. Spud made things a bit easier for me, considering everything that I had given up and what was going on. It felt like things were gonna get better.
Until my grandmother had to go to the hospital. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She couldn't get out of bed one morning, and since I didn't know what to do, I panicked and called my father. He came and checked on her, gave her an oxygen treatment, and when things didn't improve, he called EA so they could go to the hospital. I was freaking out and pacing around on the balcony, trying to calm down as they carried her to the car and drove to the hospital two towns over. She got better, so that helped, but it scared me so badly I couldn't sleep for a while. We were given an oxygen machine and told to have her on it as often as possible. That first night was terrible. I hadn't slept at all that night, or for the next few nights, because I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
To help with this, my father bought a baby monitor so I could make sure she was okay, and after a few days, I was feeling much better. EA began showing up, when she hadn't come at all before the hospital visit. When she did, the first thing she did was complain.
My little sis (11f), was helping me clean, and we had finished doing what my grandmother needed us to do when EA had come in. The first thing she said to us was that we should be cleaning, and began cleaning the stuff we didn't get to. She then started to complain about how we weren't doing these tasks that my grandmother never asked us to do. My sister and I just looked at each other with confusion. I could tell she was feeling bad, but it wasn't her job to do in the first place. EA took her cleaning to my grandmother's bedroom, and she stayed in there for a long time.
I began to get worried, so I ended up heading to my room downstairs to check the monitor, only to find EA had covered it. I sat, confused by what she had done. It's not like I had the monitor there to snoop around, it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay. I shrugged it off and uncovered it before I went to bed that night. After a few days, I had decided to make the trip to see my bf. It was almost a 2 hour drive, so I wanted to leave early. I asked my little brother (18), to watch over everything while I was gone for a few days. He agreed for the price of some dark chocolate for his own mochas in the morning. I agreed, and made sure he knew what medications my grandparents had to take and when, where the blood pressure cuff was and how to use it, and the device to check my grandmother's oxygen. After that, I packed the clothes I'd need for four days, and left.
Things were going smoothly for a while. I was laughing and relaxing with my bf, watching videos he had saved to show me, and going on dates, talking and catching up. On the third day, I got a text from my brother saying that he was angry. I asked why, and he explained everything.
He said EA had showed up, and was trying to make me and my sister sound like thieves. She claimed we had gotten into some drinks meant for my uncle, who's diabetic and also lives with my grandmother. I told him I don't drink that particular brand anymore, and my sister only ever got into the milk and some cold water. I showed my bf the messages, and we both had a good laugh over it. He knew that I don't drink that particular brand, and that I enjoy a different brand altogether, so we thought it was just ridiculous.
It continued like this for a while. EA would make little comments and talk with my grandmother about certain topics, trying to make me and my sister sound like we were against her. All the while, I was doing my usual job of cooking and cleaning for her and making sure she was okay. I was pretty much untouchable in her eyes.
My mother had come by to visit for a while and make sure everything was okay one day. We talked, she helped me cook, and we just had a good time, until EA popped in unannounced. My grandmother, wanting them to fix their relationship as sisters, stopped my mother from leaving the kitchen and told them to hug. I was watching the whole thing and heard EA say something thst just made me want to yell.
"Are you gonna attack me again?"
She made herself sound like the victim, and made it seem like my mother had attacked her. They hugged, and things proceeded to get worse from there. I refused to talk to EA when she came by, and I'd watch when she started her random cleaning. If she went into my grandmother's bedroom, I'd go downstairs, watch the monitor and try to make sure she wasn't stealing anything. She coveted the camera again and again, which slowly drove me crazy. I regret not talking to her about it.
She did it again when I was on another trip to see my bf, and this time, my brother called her out on it. He told her to stop covering the camera, that it was only there to make sure my grandmother was okay at night, nothing more. According to him, EA began yelling at him and puffing her chest out over the whole thing, while my brother acted more mature and waited for her to finish. He then asked if she was done, to which she huffed. He was getting pretty angry over it. I had him tell me everything thst was going on, so I was up to date while I was gone.
This would continue for a few more weeks, and again, while I was away, EA would confront my brother, but this time, she said something thst made me lose it. My brother was telling my uncle that it probably wasn't a good idea to take a pastry with him downstairs, since it had a bunch of sugar. EA went ballistic over this and started getting in my brother's face, yelling about it and calling him a few names like r-tard, and said, and I quote, "No wonder you were bullied, you deserved it."
For context, my brother faced severe bullying when we were in school. He was thrown around, threatened, hit, and more. He also has an accent due to having multiple earaches as a baby, so sometimes, it's hard to understand him. He's a smart kid, with a good heart, and having a middle aged swamp monster with a superiority complex getting in his face and yelling at him about how stupid he was and saying he deserved to be bullied broke me and hurt him. He didn't show it, but I know it hurt him.
When I found out, I was angry, sad, and an all around mess. My bf read the messages and didn't know what to do. I was ranting and rambling angrily by this point, in tears and just about seeing red. I was getting more angry as I talked about it, completely unaware that while my bf was playing a game, he was playing with a friend, and they could hear everything. They heard my voice beginning to shake as I let out all my frustrations, and they heard how angry I was that this haggard hoghag of a woman could treat my little brother like that. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, I was so furious.
After that, she kept coming around and trying to make all of us sound like the villains of the tale while she was the goodie two shoes. I cut all contact with her, refused to talk to her or even acknowledge her existence, and just continued to enjoy myself. My sister had some other plans
EA is diabetic, so she can't really have sugar, so my sister had an idea to pay her back, at least a little. EA had come over to open oysters with us. My grandmother had ordered them for me and my sister, because we enjoyed them so much. My sister decided to get some Popsicles from the freezer upstairs and started to eat one in front of EA. She also handed one to me, so I could enjoy too. We got some looks from EA, but I don't remember hearing her say anything. Later on, we even went so far as to make delicious chocolate chip banana bread while she was there, so she couldn't have some but had to deal with the temptation. I guess this could count as a petty revenge story, but I don't know where else to put this. I just wanted to get this story off of my chest and hear what the other petty potatoes think about this.
So, AITA for going to contact with my aunt? And for going so far as to make treats she can't have?

WARNING ITS LONG.
Here are my ideas for the deep north and what I think it will be like
It’ll be similar to the Ashlands, where it will most likely be cut off from the sea and you’ll have to sail there, you’ll have to navigate icebergs, big and small and once you land there you’ll have to deal with cracks in the ice that you’ll have to navigate or create platforms to get across from place to place however, these gaps are not large, and can be jumped across with some difficulty but some gaps will need to be crossed using other methods of which there are many, similar to the lava, you will not want to enter the frigid cold waters of the deep north. There will be large mountainous terrain, large portions of flat land similar to the Plains, large rocks similar to the mist lands, combining a lot of aspects from multiple biomes and a lot of stuff, they’ve learned from the previous biomes when making the game to create this final one, because it has to be different from anything else and not just like the mountains.
The storms will be dangerous because it will slow you down and you won’t be able to see much because of the snowstorm Very similar to the mist in the mist lands, there will be portions of the land in the deep north that will have deep snow similar to the water in the swamp, which will make your movements sluggish, and if you go deep enough in the deep snow, you won’t be able to attack properly or at all if too deep.
I feel like in the deep north there will be even more worship for a god or something or someone then other biomes like the Ashlands had so for that reason, I think will see a lot of temples and ruins of worship as well
I personally think the boss will be different than any other boss we’ve fought before and for that reason, I think it will most likely be a serpent of some kind, and the mechanics, for it will use a similar item to the balsalt bomb To create new platforms to stand on, that the boss will break, however if the boss runs into enough of these platforms that you create, it will be stunned allowing for Melee, which is what it will be weak against the most, and it will be resistant to Pierce so that it is possible to kill it with ranged attacks, but it won’t be the most fast or effective way and you’ll want to use the mechanics of stunning it to take it down quicker.
It’ll have attacks which include ranged attacks, A whirlpool attack, charging attacks, wave attacks to knock you off your platform into the water, where you would end up getting damaged if you stay long enough in it and a frost debuff 5sec even if you get out quickly.
New accessory Belt of Eternal Emerald Flame craft by using the megingjord & the new boss item from the Ashland to keep you warm in the deep north without it, you freeze to death, it’ll be similar to the strength belt already in the game but you’ll be able to upgrade it later by unlocking a new crafting upgrade for the black forge in the deep north by using the gems to add new powers based on your Play style.
The blood gem will give you increased defense the lower your health is by 0.2%
Ancient lords belt The jade gem I will give you 100% stamina regen when you apply a Immobilized affect
Storm lords belt The lightning gem Will give you 100% eitr regen during storms, add an additional 25% to all lightning damage
Two new gems will be added an ice and a fire one
The fire gem based around attack speed and fire damage related
Ice gem based around preserving and extending the durations of buffs and ice damage related
They will add in new weapons to fill out the rest of the weapon categories that do not have gem upgrades like the atgeir, battle axes, knives, Shields and sledgehammers
which will add 20 new weapons plus an additional 4 New shields and another additional 14 new fire, and ice gemmed weapons for the previous category of weapon types from Ashland, which is not counting any new staffs or individual new weapons
They will add one brand, new armor set, but add in customized upgraded variants for the deep north armor and variants the three armor sets from the Ashland similar to the gem upgrading to provide players with more variation in their place style and builds and cool new looks
The blood gem armor set Will provide an additional 15 base health, her blood armor piece, and if wearing a full set, will bump it up to 25+ base health per armor piece
The jade gem armor set will provide a similar 15 additional base stamina, and with a full set being 25+ base stamina per piece
The lolite gem armor set will provide a similar 15 additional base eitr and increasing it to 25+ base eitr with a full set
The fire gem armor set provides a increased attack speed at the cost of increased calories giving a 5% increase to attack speed And if wearing a full set, will give you a 8.33% increase to attack speed, but will consume your food at twice the normal speed meaning your food duration is cut in half
The ice gem armor set provides a chilled slower metabolism, allowing you to maintain longer durations for your food and a longer rested buff increasing by 25% per piece and 33% for a full set
A new resource that must be harvested however, it is encased in a very thick durable layer of ice and I must be broken with a new siege weapon a flamethrower, Or if you were lucky enough to get dyrnwyn it’ll be slightly less effective at melting ice, or if you have a staff of embers, which will be the least effective method at clearing the ice.
They will also be new fortresses to conquer in the deep north which will require any of the previous siege weapons however, the new flamethrower will be more effective at breaking down specific areas of the fortress that are more weak to fire, allowing for quicker entry to the fortress, these new fortresses will have a dungeon inside them as well, more akin to a temple
There will be the Dvergr outposts there as well, holding some of the new resources
New enemies: ice golem ( slightly larger, with more variety of attacks, including a wave of ice spikes, shooting ice spikes)
Freezling spiders made of what looks to be a hard like Crystaline ice and it’s cold to the touch, they’re the size of a neck, and will run away unless attacked or approached closely enough(similar to boars), and a queen mini boss providing you their eggs, so you can breed them to Farm their silk
iceling (similar to surtlings),
woolly lox(slightly bigger and fluffier with horns, spawning in families pairs of 2-5 with a minimum of 1 parent and 1 baby, and a maximum of 2 parent and 3 babies)
The chilled(similar to the charred but they look like frozen heavily armored Draugr but move much slower, but are capable of very fast bursts of speed to catch you off guard with more erratic movements, making them more unpredictable, also able to phase out into particles of snow, and then reappear closer to you ready to attack) Variants include a great sword and great shield commander variant, A crossbow variant, and a standard battle axe variant.
The commander can rally his troops that are at 20% Hp to provide healing similar to the gray dwarf shaman, but is capable of being interrupted, if hit hard enough resulting in low morale debuff to his troops, reducing their damage, and attacking less frequently by 25%
Phantoms (similar to ghosts and wraiths but more dangerous wielding a sword and capable of magic, however have a weakness they guard their remains slightly below the ground, if located using the wishbone and unearthing their remains allowing for an easy kill)
A new Miniboss providing you with a new tame being the woolly lox. The Miniboss will be a alpha version of the woolly lox where you enter a ruined building It was using as its home to gain access to its children and new food, which can be tamed so you can start breeding them, and a rare new plantable food frost berries that the alpha woolly lox left to feed her kids, which you can now plant to now used to tame other baby woolly lox aswell and cooking recipes, and you can also milk your woolly lox’s too
A new serpent, based off the hatchlings of the new boss serpent similar to the Drake hatchlings of Moder which will roam the seas of the deep north
Adolescent Drake hatchlings about 2 to 3 times bigger than the ones you seen the mountain and are also the children of moder but have grown up more and have moved to the deep north, they can also land on the ground and do attacks similar to moder
A new food resource that you mine: salt
New lighting options using each of the gems also a variety of candles,
A new king size bed,
A new chest providing one extra row on the bottom, or being the same storage size as a black metal chest but smaller allowing for more to be placed in a similar area,
A new chair,
A new bench and throne,
A new table,
more color variety for banners with more colors and shapes,
three new rugs woolly lox rug, chilled fortress rug, ????,
more gold decorations to bling bling up your base,
New shotgun staffs for each element,
New pots or vases,
More flametal building pieces like a smaller door and variants of all the grausten pillars and beams,
New spike walls,
New foods,
New potions,
New arrows
A new portal that allows for the transportation of tames,
New ornaments to put on your buildings, new ones preferably made of metal
A new smaller windmill that doesn’t have to be outside that uses dvergr Technology to run without needing wind, and is able to hold more barley

A/N: yeah I changed up the Alliance admiral's name from Shepard Adama to Sheparda Dama (so creative i know) because the old one was going to fuck me over badly at some point. It would be like trying to make a legitimate, serious fantasy novel with a wizard named Albus Gandalf. I was NOT cooking when I came up with that shit.
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It was said that no plan ever survived contact with the enemy. That, at least in the case of Marcus Wayne’s infiltration of Neldia, was proven entirely true.
His ship, the Peacemaker, had undergone an extensive refit before its jump to Neldia to both modify its sensor signature and repair its failing Aegis barrier. The first objective succeeded. The second did not.
One day later, leaving the derelict Ultimate Vigil behind in deep space, the United Human Alliance courier ship Winged Deliverance logged a real space entry at the edge of the Neldia system. Its crew, having spent their waking hours plagued by hallucinations and enduring horrible nightmares as they slept, found this shift very welcome. The worst, though they could hardly believe it, was still yet to come.
“The Neldian fleet is mustering for war,” rumbled the man who had once held the title and security codes of an Alliance sector admiral. Now, he was a traitor to his homeland. “Security will be high.”
“No need to worry, Admiral,” said Marcus Wayne. “Your code will get us through.” It would not.
It took two hours for the Peacemaker, disguised as the Winged Deliverance, to be challenged by the Neldian Armada. “Transmit clearance code,” said an automated voice. Marcus took out a data disc with the admiral's clearance code on it.
“Hold,” said Terris. She was clad in black, her active camouflage offline to save battery, and she had been sitting at the passive sensor console for the past three hours. “Look at this.” A news broadcast popped up in front of Marcus Wayne and his officers. Sector Admiral Sheparda Dama, or at least he was once a sector admiral, had been tried and convicted of high treason.
“It was a secret trial,” Dama said, still in shock at the revelation. “I had no knowledge of this.”
“Well, that tracks, but what do we do now? What code gets us through?”
“Transmit clearance code,” the voice said again, “or adjust course.”
Dama thought for a moment. “Change course,” he said. “We’re not getting through.”
They did. A great sense of defeat took hold in the hearts of the crew. They would never reach the Neldian hypercom. Sheparda Dama, who would have gladly given his life in defense of humankind, would never get the chance to be the man who broke their chains.
The Peacemaker was halfway out of the Neldia system before Terris spoke again. “Hold it,” she said. “I have an idea.”
That was why she had been placed where she was. Clad in an airtight stealth suit. Inside a hollowed-out asteroid. On a ballistic journey to the heart of Neldian space. It was the most insane idea that Marcus Wayne had ever seen.
But, sometimes, insanity was a symptom of genius.
Terris flew past the Neldian Armada undetected. Many asteroids entered the inner system this way, flung by outer-system prospecting ships to the foundries and shipyards in Neldian orbit, and they were thrown and caught so frequently that only the most cursory of inspections was put upon each one. Terris passed the Alliance fleet entirely undetected.
Terris’ chameleon suit could mimic the sensor return of the precious metals it was buried in, at least enough to fool a probing scan, and the cuts made by Protectoral engineers had been so precise that Terris had fit inside there with barely a centimeter of space to spare. She was effectively entombed inside sixty meters of solid rock.
Interstellar espionage was not a job for the claustrophobic.
Finally, after days of waiting, the signal came. She was in range. A mental command triggered a series of shaped charges in the rock above her, if such directions existed in microgravity, and forty pea-sized explosives blasted a circular tunnel all the way to the asteroid surface. If just one of them had failed, that rock might have been her tomb.
Terris tried not to think about that as she began climbing her way out. A brief burst from her suit’s EVA thrusters was enough to start her on her way, and the tunnel out was wide enough for her to use her arms and legs to speed things up. Finally, after too long a wait, Terris saw the Neldian sun for the very first time.
There was fire in the distance. Comm chatter on every band. Warships burning hard for the outer system. The Coalition fleet was here.
She zoomed in, far more than she had ever had to before, and she could pick out the faintest flashes of blue as warships exploded in the black. A brief crawl around the asteroid, which also helped to warm up her muscles after days of inactivity, let her discern an attack force engaging the Alliance fleet. After a moment’s hesitation, weighing the risks, Terris activated her passive sensor suite to try and decrypt Alliance military chatter.
Instantly, her sensors were flooded with noise from the defensive bastions. The fleet base at the L5 point was loudest, its comm operators screaming indecipherably at fellow Alliance elements fighting in the black. Neldian orbit, where the hypercom station was, seemed to be the centerpiece of all the communications traffic. The hypercom, unsurprisingly, was being used as a relay for comm traffic all across the system. Terris made a note to hack its server banks for intelligence, and perhaps leave a timed virus or two to shut down the system after she was gone.
Her suit bleeped, alerting her that she was in optimum position to make the leap to the hypercom. She zoomed in on it, a red and spiked thing just like everything else the Alliance made, and calculated the right trajectory to land right on its metal surface.
Trying to jump from a moving asteroid out past Neldia’s rings and hit a hypercom station barely three hundred meters in diameter was like shooting a rifle from a jumbo jet in hopes of hitting a mosquito down on Earth. A nearly impossible shot, even with Coalition computers to help make the jump, and anyone lucky enough to make it would have been better served bankrupting their local casino at the slot machines.
Terris gave a command to her suit, activating a set of ion thrusters to boost her off the asteroid and adjust her course mid-flight. She’d never believed in luck.
She coasted silent and graceful past the particle guns in high orbit, like a majestic swan flying on a summer wind. Their sensor arrays were directed out, past her, to the far distant parts of space where a trillion tons of steel were locked in deadly battle. Terris really did wish she could smile at the moment. She was about to have unrestricted access to the biggest communications relay in the star system, able to send out viruses and receive vital intelligence that could cripple the Alliance fleet if placed in the right hands. Terris, confident as ever, knew they would be.
She would make the Neldian Armada burn, and they had no idea she was even coming.
She reached the hypercom station in just under a day, agonizingly slow for a woman like her, hovering just above its surface to avoid triggering pressure sensors. After that, it was simple enough to get inside. Terris found it almost trivial to bypass the airlock sensor grid and trigger the outer bulkhead to open unnoticed, its report to the command room destroyed before it ever arrived. Entering the station itself was easy after that.
Here, there was gravity. She could not hover like she had on the outside of the station. But here, there were no pressure sensors. She really had no need to hover.
The corridor she found herself in was large enough, though nothing like the expansive halls of a dreadnought, and a patrol of marines in powered suits trundled towards her obliviously. Terris had made the right call not to wear a Phantom powered suit. She ducked into an alcove, the chameleon suit concealing her from even their impressive sensor batteries, and they passed by with no clue at all.
Terris made it to the server banks with ease. Most of the hypercom’s security measures took the form of warships in orbit, clustered tightly around the planet to prevent exactly this scenario from happening, but those warships were off waging war. The station defenses were hopeless now that she was actually inside.
The data was encrypted, and she could neither access it nor copy it without potentially fatal consequences, but she wasn’t there to steal data. A brief, milliseconds-long connection to the primary server was all it took to riddle the entire system with custom-tailored computer viruses. The viruses were self-replicating, rather like an electronic version of the biological ones on Earth. They worked similarly, too, meant to latch onto outgoing communications signals and remain inert for a certain amount of time before activating and wreaking havoc across cyberspace.
The program would be scoured from the net in seconds once it began its assault, but it would cause plenty of chaos before then. And, with another critical transmission being scheduled to send at around that time, Terris knew her mostly-ineffective virus attack would be just enough of a distraction to make sure its message was heard.
Terris planned to leave the station in approximately thirty minutes. Shortly after that, the fireworks would begin. It was going to be beautiful.
She heard footsteps. A maintenance worker, no doubt. It was time for her to go. She disconnected from the server, taking pains to hide her involvement, and snuck out of the server room like a ghost in the night.
Next was the transmission array. This room was better-guarded, its door being flanked by marines, but Terris slipped inside by trailing behind an officer as he entered on some unknown pretext. After that, her daring and sleight of hand made sure Admiral Dama’s pre-recorded propaganda transmission was uploaded to the hypercom transmitter. It came with a set of instructions bearing the Admiralty’s seal, changed to be anonymous, to ensure as many people as possible heard his message.
In just under one standard hour, the United Human Alliance would be shaken to its very core. Terris had just made sure of it.
It took longer than she had expected for the door to open again and give her a chance to slip out. Terris had spent that time quite productively, downloading as many incoming and outgoing messages as she could to the internal hard drive just by her spinal cord. Even if they were encrypted, they’d be useful intelligence once Coalition codebreakers took a crack at them.
After that, it was trivial to slip past marine patrols and escape to the hull of the hypercom station. Terris found her ride, an Alliance warship by the name of Brightest Thunder, holding orbit just near the hypercom station. Admiral Dama, even if he was no longer an admiral, still had connections.
She charged her ion thrusters by tapping into the station reactor, an act which did not go unnoticed, but by then it was too late to respond. She had completed her incursion. The damage had been done. Perhaps if the Alliance acted swiftly and accurately, they could undo it, but Terris was a careful woman. She had covered her tracks well.
Waving one final goodbye to the crew of the hypercom station, Terris triggered her thrust pack and shot off into the ink.
“You must be my passenger.” A man in an Alliance captain’s uniform was waiting for her in the Brightest Thunder’s airlock. He wore a helmet and gloves, hermetically sealed to his airtight outfit, so he felt no effects from the vacuum of space. “I was sent by Sector Admiral Sheparda Dama,” he announced after a period of silence, “To transport you and whatever you may have safely to the Coalition fleet.” Nothing. Apart from the dull thudding of the ship’s railgun batteries, firing missiles at range to ward off a strike force of Coalition ships, the airlock was quiet as a ghost.
“You cannot expect me to endanger my life and the lives of my crew without at least some identification that you are who you claim to be!” Silence. Captain Senar Trevy had been standing in that airlock for three and a half hours, while his ship was tasked with screening Neldia and her eighteen billion inhabitants from harm, and he was just now wondering if he had been talking to a ghost.
“I am,” came a voice. Cold. Sterile. Inhuman. Exactly the kind Trevy expected from the secret spies of his former admiral.
“So you are.” Captain Trevy thought for a moment. He cycled the airlock. If his guest held hostile intent, one steel bulkhead would make no difference. “I’ve been stocking the crew with handpicked men and women since I received word of the operation,” he explained as they walked through the ship’s corridors. The crewmen he passed thought him insane. “I can’t vouch for them all, but the ship as a whole will obey me.” No response. Sometimes, Captain Trevy thought himself insane as well.
“This is my personal quarters,” he told the specter, stepping inside and sealing the door behind him. “I must warn you, for your own safety, it would be best not to leave it. The crew are mostly still Alliance loyalists.” He looked around, paying no heed to the decorated furniture or artificial sky, and finally shrugged and sighed. “Are you even here, still?”
Terris decloaked. She stood between him and the door, winged and cloaked in black like a demon of ancient myth. “I am.”
“You’re a black angel.” Senar Trevy, to his credit, kept his composure well. “A spy for the Ierad Republic.” He questioned her purpose here. They both knew it.
“You weren’t told?”
“I was told an alien would be coming aboard, but…” Trevy shrugged again, as if to say ‘what am I supposed to do?’ “The admiral vouched for you. That much is enough for me.” He also knew he had no choice in the matter. From what he knew about black angels, his ship had been lost the moment she boarded.
“I could have impersonated him,” said Terris, voice a perfect replica of Captain Trevy’s own. Even his own mother could not have told the difference. “And I’m trained to lie.” She was testing him, gauging his reaction to assess his personality. She was good at that.
“I could have you screened for deception,” Trevy countered, pointing up at a pearl-sized camera in the ceiling. Terris made a note that it was disabled. “And I could have had the technology officers vet your transmission.”
“I’m trained to lie well.” Terris sat down on Captain Trevy’s bed, a spartan thing compared to the sleeping quarters of most officers. There were no chairs in the room, so her options were few. She took off her helmet and tried to at least appear relaxed. In reality, she was anything but. “It comes with the job, really.”
“Fair,” Trevy chuckled, feigning calm. “I suppose the question now becomes whether or not you can trust me.”
“It’s a safe gamble.” Terris made a mental calculation. It would take her between thirty and fifty seconds to kill Captain Trevy, take the bridge, and vent the ship. That was a very safe gamble. “Besides, that’s what a peace treaty is.” Trevy looked confused. “A leap of faith. You trust your enemy to back their word, and you trust them to trust you as well. If we can’t get along here, can’t put aside our differences to work toward a common goal, then the Alliance will be right. And I hate it when they’re right.”
“I’m speaking to you now because I know they are wrong.” That came as no surprise to either of them. “You know, I was once a foreman of a labor crew in the munitions factories. The most productive unit in my sector.” That one did come as a surprise. “As a foreman, you get leeway to make certain decisions regarding the… well, I suppose they are slaves, under your command. Food intake and the like.” Captain Trevy looked pained when he brought up such memories. Terris wasn’t convinced that was how he really felt. “They use it to weed out any potential xeno sympathizers from the populace. Of course, at the time, I wasn’t so empathetic.”
“So you were a slave driver, and you beat your slaves to make them work. I hope every one of those shells was sabotaged.” Terris’ voice dripped with disdain. She had almost forgotten the Alliance captain was her enemy.
“No, I showed mercy,” Trevy defended himself. “I was generous.” This made Terris reconsider. Perhaps Senar Trevy could be an ally, if not a friend. “I won’t say I was a good man, but I wasn’t cruel. I was practical. Strong, healthy, well-treated workers are more productive than the beaten sacks of flesh in the other factories. My crew’s output was unmatched.”
“And?” Terris cocked her head inquisitively. For a high-ranking officer in the space navy of a genocidal regime, Senar Trevy really did not seem so bad. To be fair, however, she had set the bar pretty low.
“I was investigated for anti-human activity.” Terris could have predicted that. She almost did, too. “They sent me to the fleet, and my labor crew was reacquainted with the energy whips and pain beams.” There was no carrot for an Alliance labor slave. Only the stick. “Their productivity fell thirty percent in the first two weeks alone.” He sounded almost mournful as he said that. He was not lamenting the loss in productivity.
“You see,” said Trevy, “Hatred is not natural. It has to be caused, sustained, nurtured from the day a man is born until the day he dies.” With that, at least, Terris agreed. “And, as you’re about to see, a nation built around cruelty or prejudice cannot sustain itself. It will have to apply pressure to maintain its flawed status quo, like it did with me, and the pressure will build and build until it cannot build anymore.” He tapped a few buttons on the data disc in his hand. It began projecting an image of the battle for Neldia. He placed it on the bed next to Terris. “Now it’s breaking.”
“I wonder if they’ll find themselves in need of more shells.” Terris knew it wasn’t just shells. Every time a slave driver prioritized hatred over hard work, put cruelty over their quota, or even just bowed their head and obeyed the traditional dogma, they hurt the Alliance. Across nine worlds, with billions of slaves not working as they could have, things started to add up. “You know, for a superior species, your fleet is really getting its ass kicked right now. Might want to work on that.”
Captain Trevy nodded. His data disc beeped. He was needed on the bridge. “Agreed,” he said. “I hope this war ends soon, and to our mutual benefit. I’d hate to face you on the battlefield.” He picked up the data disc and turned to leave.
“Oh, forgot to mention, there’s a virus embedded in the transmissions you’ve received. Self-replicating. Nasty piece of work.” Terris shifted a bit in her seat. “Almost forgot about that.”
“Well, better to know now than when it’s activated,” Trevy smiled. “I’ll have Technology Officer Galdir investigate it.” With that, he left. His duty to the Alliance was nonexistent, but the men and women under his command still needed him. He had waited too long in the stateroom.
Terris, with nothing better to do, got to work on cracking the encryption in the transmissions she had copied. She failed. A transmission from deep in unknown space, sent from a dreadnought at the head of a task force known only as the Deep Expedition Fleet, was the only message she could read. Its contents, while troubling, mattered little at the moment. What was far more crucial, however, was the message Terris could not decipher. The military battle plan of Janus Ora’s personal armada.
The battle plan that, when analyzed on a Republic starship, would reveal its terrible secret too late.
The Coalition fleet was walking into a trap.
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Hi all, great to find this subreddit! I'm planning to backpack across the island in early June and I'm looking for any suggestions on the route, campsites, etc. for that time of year.
Info about me: I've been to/hiked 48 national parks—Isle Royale, Voyageurs, and Glacier are my last remaining parks in the contiguous states, so I'm trying to hit them now since I was laid off recently. I'm in my early 40s, in good shape, daily mileage is not a concern (I've done 20+ mile mountain traversals as day hikes), and have lived in the northeast my whole life so cold isn't an issue.
While I don't want to "rush" my time there, I tend to seek efficiency with my time, am a fast hiker, and try to not linger longer than necessary, since I'm on the move to another park immediately afterward. I'm planning on taking the seaplane to save time on both ends.
So, my questions:

1. How many days/nights should I plan for, given the above? (Was thinking 3 nights…is that enough?)
2. Given the number of days, what would be the best route to take and which campsites would make the most sense to hit good mileage each day?
3. Any unique gear needs? I'm well equipped overall, but I know every park has its own quirks to accommodate.
   1. I generally hike in trail runners, but would I be better off getting some waterproof boots for this one? I don't need ankle support thanks to decades of soccer, so this would be more a matter utility/protection.
   2. Sawyer Squeeze is my usual water treatment (I'd bring tablets as well). Guessing that would suffice?
   3. What about food storage? I don't tend to cook much on the trail (takes too much time/cleanup), so mostly dried stuff, nutrition bars, etc. I'm more accustomed to having to keep my stuff protected from raccoons and bears, but I'd guess I'd need less extreme measures for what's on the island, so if there are better suggestions than bulky bear containers I'd need to store a good distance away, I'm all for whatever y'all use!
4. Anything you wouldn't bring?
5. How's the parking safety for the seaplane lot? As mentioned, I'll have my car loaded up for living on the road and going to a number of parks, so leaving it for several days in an unfamiliar place always makes me a little nervous.

Anything else to consider? Sorry for so much text, but I'm pretty thorough with my planning to minimize issues on the road/trail (which has worked out great so far haha).
Thanks!