Pain i have had on and off for 12 years right abdomen

In October 2023, I got Strep Group A. It was definitely the worst bout for me symptom-wise. I couldn’t swallow anything without immense pain, and I was very nauseous. After my antibiotic treatment (Penicillin), my main symptoms all went away except I continued to have the chills. I went in for another test once the chills became unbearable at night and a mildly sore throat, a month after I started my 10 day antibiotic course. The rapid test came back negative.
On Thanksgiving, I had an incredibly sore throat much like last time but was less feverish. I got tested, my rapid test came back negative but my throat culture tested positive for Group B. I went through a 10 day course of Amoxicillin, and I never really felt better weeks after.
Both of the previous labs were administered by my university’s student health center. The semester had ended, so I went to MedStar’s walk in to get another throat culture as I still had the same symptoms with the new addition of chest pain. To quote the NP I saw at MedStar
“Your symptoms do not meet the scorecard. You’re 23, you have the body of a BMW and you will be fine.”
… I get younger people are naturally healthier but, what a dismissively crass thing to say. Also, I’m not built like that I’m in skinny fat with a pronounced muffin top lmao.
With that being said, she refused to administer a throat culture to make sure I still don’t have Group B despite pleading with her that my symptoms have not changed, along with the addition of chest pains. I continued to have the same symptoms for months, but the chest pains went away by the new year.
I’ve felt somewhat better since, but the occasional sore throat and chills weren’t uncommon. Actually, I’ve gotten chills pretty much everyday but seemingly only when I lay down in bed at night.
Fast forward to the end of April, my tongue was in splitting pain with a sore throat and I decided to get tested. I came back to my home town where I saw an NP in the walk in… she believed it was post nasal drip but she administered a throat culture upon my request and it turned out I had strep again, Group G this time. So thankful they agreed to give me a throat culture.
They prescribed a 5 day Azithromycin antibiotic course, which I finished on May 1st and mostly everything went away except the chills. Last weekend on the 13th, my sore throat and fever came back so I went back to the walk in, just got my results today that I still have Strep, but they can’t identify which group other than it or being Group A. I have been prescribed a 10 day course of amoxicillin.
My mind is spinning… what in the actual hell is going on?
I can’t see an ENT for months because of the healthcare system, and I’m rightfully getting worried. Having strep for at least a month, and god knows for how long if Group B never went away, is making me concerned about rheumatic fever. I’m really uneasy and anxious about all of this.
Important to note, when I was taking my antibiotic courses the previous 3 times, I really screwed up and was drinking heavily while on them. I had developed alcoholism the same month when I first contracted Strep. I was not considerate or knowledgeable of how alcohol would interact with the antibiotics, and I will not be drinking on this course and I’m really hoping this will help my chances of ridding strep out of my system.
I am also a vaper, which could seemingly line up with my frequency to strep over the last few months. I’m treating my vape like my toothbrush head, getting rid of them.
Am I tweaking for being worried rheumatic fever? And is it strange that I’m prone to multiple groups of strep, or is this reasonable for someone with a weakened immune system? Am I tweaking for being dismissively compared to a BMW because of my age when in fact I’m built more like a 2010’s Mitsubishi?

People that spread the internet without an official diagnosis or any prove of an mast cell involvement, antihistamines are used for multiple diseases. There have been people that think they have MCAS because Cromolyn helped their asthma, H1 medication helped their urticaria, or H2 helped their heartburn. These medications are all widely used and are rather "off label" used for MCAS. That is why all 3 criteria need to be present.
Websites present various doctors that claim to be "specialists" and who give out diagnoses to anyone based of unspecific symptoms, reportedly these do not even make tests at all. Or use unvalidated biomarkers or questionable diagnostic criteria.
People who actually have a serious and rare disease named MCAS, struggle to be taken seriously, because many doctors are fed up by the sheer amount of psychic conspicuous patients, who only want a proof for their google based self diagnoses. Often times there is no proof and these people make a burden for health care resources.
Mast cell medication is free and if you have no relief at all with antihistamines, MCAS is very unlikely. There is not much any further medication that someone would get, if not presented with serious reactions, most of the times anaphylaxis. Ketotifen and cromolyn are also mainly antihistamines, still many gaslight themselfs thinking that that is the medication they need.
Primary and secondary MCAS are easy to rule out, due to specific and severe symptoms and quite obvious underlying mechanism like an IgE dependant allergy or the genetic mutation. The diagnosis that is under question is the idiopathic MCAS, where the underlying mechanism is unknown, these people still need to fullfill the diagnostic markers, but in reality this happens only rarely.
Still many think they have a secondary MCAS, it is said by certain authors that a secondary MCAS would have a prevalance of 17-30 per cent. They say that long covid and/or T-Cells are the problem. That this would be quite easy to proof if it would be happening they do not care about. That this has already been evaluated they do not care about. The desperate patients are easy to convince it seems.
Some people even make claims their MCAS would be due to a root cause of "Sibo", "Leaky gut" or "microbiome disbalance", all which are unrelated to a MCAS. Mast cells in the gut have been studied and people with IBS have had no success with mast cell treatment.
It is also a burden for patients, knowing that even some doctors do not stick to authentic measures and give out misinformation. Make because of a conflict of interest?
.
"My blood and 24hr urine collection testing came back normal. The allergist I saw also told me outright he doubted I had MCAS (a fad diagnosis along with EDS and POTS, as he said) but did end up suggesting I come back to get samples tested during an episode. I was so frustrated with the allergist that I’ve never gone through with that. Instead my amazing primary doctor decided to prescribe me montelukast and monitor my reaction to trialing antihistamines at home, and I had immediate positive response! We also first ruled out everything else he could think of and clearly test for; my main symptom is facial flushing so I had things like lupus and carcinoid syndrome ruled out.
Although we treat it as such, I don’t actually have an “official” MCAS diagnosis on my chart. IME the specialists who do inquire about all my meds or listen to my symptoms don’t seem to differentiate between MCAS and allergies/sensitivities anyway :/ but my case isn’t super severe and currently well-controlled so that works for me. Good luck to you - I hope you find proper care regardless of your test results!"
.
"I have normal tryptase levels and definitely have MCAS. They diagnosed it after POTS, and it was mostly based on symptoms as well as the “scratch test”"
.
"Spoke about it with my GP, she referred me to an internal medicine doc who specializes in MCAS. I told him my symptoms and he went “yep that sounds like MCAS” and proceeded to literally dump an armful of antihistamine samples into my lap and bounce off to his next appointment. I am definitely in the minority of people whose experience was that easy. It was so easy that I almost don’t believe him."
.
"This is the same as my experience! Walked in, diagnosed by rheumatologist in 5 mins based off symptoms and loaded up with antihistamines as a starting point. No testing or anything."
.
"went to my allergist and had the blood work panel done. nothing in it came back weird, but my allergist is treating me as if i have MCAS based on all my symptoms and pictures of flares."
.
"Went in to get my pots diagnosis and the doctor was like “btw your blood tests show you have mast cell activation syndrome” and then gave me some medicine and did not elaborate further"
"As it turned out my diagnosis was literally not true. I don’t have MCAS (and even if i did what they gave me for it was beyond overkill) after talking to an actual allergist I believe that most likely I was given an extra diagnosis on extremely weak basis. Using something from what they saw in my blood so they could bill higher and prescribe more medicine to me. I no longer go to that practice and instead go to a different cardiologist and actively do not recommend going there. Unfortunately this stopped me for years from properly treating my pain as I was trying to treat it on the basis it was being caused by MCAS :/"
.
"Mine was actually fairly easy when I finally figured out it was MCAS.
Got referred to immunology to rule out mastocytosis. Then my PCP at the time did a clinical diagnosis. She wasn’t risking putting me into anaphylaxis to maybe get a positive result on any of the mast cell mediator labs (this doctor was one who didn’t list a diagnosis unless she was confident it isn’t anything else and spent 8 years trying to get an answer).
My current doctors don’t question it because my symptoms at this point line up perfectly with MCAS."

So, let's start with the basics. I've been living in this place for almost 3 years now. Prior to living here I rented from the same landlord in a nearby duplex in 2014. My neighbor is a man and his wife. They've been living there together for about 6 years with the man living there for nearly 15. We've remained cordial to this point regardless of the issues that have popped up. At least, that was the case up until recently. We share a front porch that has railing around the ledge and splitting the unit down the middle at the living room.
So, the issues(these aren't listed in any particular order).
First, Over the last 2 or so years they've taken in roughly 7 stray cats. They keep the majority of these cats outside at all times. This wasnt an issue initially as I didn't mind the little fluffballs on the porch but as times gone on it has become an inconvenience. The cats will shit on my porch and walkway leading from the porch to the gravel driveway where I park. I have stepped in cat shit no less than 4 times in the past 2 months. When I moved in I had a welcome mat at the door. Well , after the cats shit on it 4 times in one week and I couldn't get the shit off it the last time so I threw it out. I bought a hose and spray nozzle just to spray cat shit off my porch and shoes. I have tried non-toxic sprays to try and coax them away from my walkway and that hasn't worked. I have spoken directly with both the man and his wife on this topic and all I receive is gaslighting. They claim it's not cat shit, it's actually chicken, raccoon, and opossum shit. Also, these cats are not healthy. They do not look healthy, the majority of cat shit I step in is diarrhea, and their fur is in such poor shape.
Second, roaches. When I first moved in there were roaches. I contacted the landlord and he had pest control out. I also placed multiple different traps at the same time and they died down a bit. The kicker here is I asked the neighbor about the roaches and his response was, and I shit you not, "oh the woman in the other duplex(between 500-1000 feet away from current duplex) was dirty and when she moved out the roaches moved over here." that was roughly 1.5 years ago and the roaches come and go now. I place new traps every few months to try and cull the population as much as possible. I just believe that the neighbors are dirty as all hell as their porch is a mess and I wouldn't doubt the inside is just as bad or worse. Oh, and to top that off, they leave their cat food open on the porch. So, roaches, raccoons(which I've seen eating from the cat plate at night), and opossums all get their fill.
Third, and trigger warning in advance, domestic violence. I'll admit going into that I am ashamed of what I'm going to state here. The man beats his wife. I have heard them fighting on so many occasions. There was one day where I had gotten off work and started to chill and unwind preparing to go to sleep on the recliner in the living room. I heard them start fighting as they normally do. Well, this particular time they brought it out onto the porch. All I heard out my window was things breaking and multiple banging noises. Then just absolute screaming. She was screaming as if she were being murdered. Then there was silence and I heard him say " if you ever talk back to me like that again I will kill you." this is where I am ashamed. I should've called the cops. I didn't. The dude owns a gun, is an alcoholic, and is definitely unhinged enough to retaliate if I were to try and help. I am afraid that there would be retaliatory violence and it is an uncomfortable feeling that I should not feel in my own home.
Fourth, my girlfriend refuses to come over to my house anymore due to the sad looking cats/cat shit, the occasional roach that she sees, and her not wanting to be at my home alone at night(I work nights) knowing how unhinged the neighbor is. She has heard him beating his wife. She is afraid because "what am I supposed to do if he gets really drunk while you're at work and tries to come into the house."
There are a couple smaller things but this is the gist of the major issues.
So, about a year ago I messaged the LL about the cats shitting everywhere. About a week or so later there was cat litter alongside my backyard fence. I wasn't seeing cat shit everywhere anymore so I let it go.
We arrive now at last week. Got home from a long night of work, kicked my shoes off, and relaxed. Woke up for work later and started to throw my shoes on just to notice that there was cat shit on them that I had already tracked through to living room.
I was pissed and messaged the landlord "Neighbors let their cats back out again and they are shitting everywhere. Theyve already ruined the mat that was in front of the door when I moved in. There are shit stains all over the porch. I don't want to call animal control cause I doubt they'll do anything but I'm getting tired of having to either clean my shoes or dodge shit everytime I get home from work."
He didn't reply, which I expected as he rarely replies.
A couple days later I get home from work to see a note left in my door. The neighbors wife was pissed. I don't have the note on me right now so I'm going to summarize.
She claimed that the cats do not shit on my side of the house. They shit near their cars "because that's where they are used to shitting" she said that all the shit I'm claiming to be cat shit is chicken, opossum, and raccoon shit. She threatened me with this line "you told the landlord the lie about the cats trying to get us evicted so why shouldn't we tell the landlord that the house smells like weed." yes, my roommate and I smoke. Yes, it's an illegal state. She then goes on to claim "the smoke comes through our oven vent and dryer vent and my clothes reek of weed." I call bullshit because not even my clothes smell like weed. This is legitimately the only complaint I've ever heard them say about my living there. Throughout the letter she claims multiple times that I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing and I'm just trying to get them evicted.
So, this is where I stand, all I can think of is get photographic evidence of the cats shitting, but I don't really know what it's going to accomplish. The cats definitely need to be taken care of better and them shitting everywhere is not cool either. The other issues I've noted should probably be dealt with as well but domestic violence is a tricky thing to involve myself in. My Gf is mad because I haven't called the cops but I legit don't want to be shot or be evicted/arrested because I smoke weed in my home.

Apologies in advance for any spelling errors emotions are running high as I’m writing this.
For context this happened a few days ago.
I, M 24 have been in a relationship with my boyfriend who I’ll call Red (Not his real name), M 23 for around 4 years now after we met at our mutual friends house. We had hit it off after a few drinks and I ended the night with his number and 3 months later we started chatting exclusively and 6 months later we started dating. (At this point in time we hadn’t met each other’s families and he hadn’t mentioned them during the whole 9 month period.) When we first started dating Ill admit I was head over heels and wanted him to meet my family (I have a rather large family) right away and was quite pushy about them meeting although we hadn’t been dating for 5 months at that point. But he talked me out of it saying I was “Moving too fast.” I dont know if that was a red flag or not but I don’t think it was. Anyways, around 1.5-2 years ago I learned that Red had a little brother 23 M (they are twins, Red was just born first by a little over 5 hours.) which came as a shock to me because during our entire relationship Red had never mentioned his brother and was every adamant that not only did he and his family weren’t close but that he had cut them all off. I which was a major red flag for me because for starters I had only met his brother because I had a package delivered to his house and need to pick it up. I have a key to his house but I have a habit of knocking because I OCD. So imagine my shock when the door is opened by not Red but someone who looked suspiciously like him who immediately asked me who I was. When I told him I was asking for Red (MY boyfriend) he said he wasn’t home and that he was at the store and he’ll tell him that someone came to the door to ask for him. At which I told him that I was his boyfriend and that I needed to pick up a package. He looked a little suspicious but let me in regardless and we sat in the living room and talked till red came home. I was really curious about who these mystery person was and for a while thought Red was cheating on me until his brother who I’ll call Jane (Not his real name) informed me that he was reds twin brother. I was in shock because for two years Red had told me that he had not relationship with any of his family and here’s his twin brother in his house. (I’ve been to his house before and at not pint in time did he ever have any roommates or other people living in his apartment. So it was shocking and I felt really betrayed because at that point he had already met my family.) Me and Jane made more small talk till Red came home 20 something minutes later and was shocked to see both me and Jane sitting on the couch. I was gonna stay for longer after red came home but the moment I saw his face I just couldn’t and ended up leaving shortly after. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he never told me he had a brother and later that night at like 8 pm I texted him and asked him why he never told me he had a brother nonetheless a TWIN brother and why he lied about cutting off all his family. He responded 2 hours later at 10 and asked me to call him which I did and I he told me that the reason he never told me about Jane was because although he actually didn’t cut all his family off but those he did still talk too he didn’t tell other people about too which I asked why? Only to be met with him avoiding the question and trying to steer the conversation away from his family and more to about my day which was the next red flag. We got into an argument and he walked away from the phone but didn’t hang up so I did and I ended up blocking him for 2 days before he showed up at my door apologizing up and down and swearing to never keep a secret from me again which I had believed. For the next 2 years that wasn’t the last I’d seen of Jane and I learned that Red and Jane were extremely close. (Idk if it’s a twin thing but they are just really close) But at multiple points in our relationship I thought they’ve been too close if that’s even possible. For example when we had planned an anniversary trip together and went we started discussing locations he wouldn’t agree to certain places because “Jane wouldn’t be comfortable with him going there.” Or “Jane wouldn’t like that.” When I asked why it mattered what jane liked because it’s not like he was going, he said something along the lines of. “Just let it go.” Or would just ignore me till I started talking about a different place which threw off my flow for the rest of the planning. Or when he pushed back out trip for almost a month because he didn’t want to leave Jane alone. (Jane is autistic and possibly physically disabled which I swear is important but he’s not low functioning and even lives in his own with a job.) When I brought this up Red glared at me without saying anything but let it go after a while. This is only one example of their relationship coming between things we had planned but there are plenty more examples of them being physically close as well. (Cuddling togethe sitting extremely close to each other, Jane following Red around to the point something’s they walk in sync, feeding one another,hugging for extended periods of time, playing with each other’s hands/hair ext.) I swear if they didn’t look so similar you’d think they were the ones dating. I won’t lie I’ve found myself being jealous/ disgusted at the way they treat each other but I had pushed it aside because I convinced myself that Red was just looking out for Jane. (Before you question that like I said while Jane isn’t behind mentally or anything you can see he struggles with a lot things like standing for long periods of time and often goes non verbal or only makes illegible noise that Red understands.) So I truly pushed my thoughts aside because I didn’t want to be seen as an overprotective or anything and it’s not like I have anything against Jane or anything but sometimes it’s just really fucking weird. But recently I’ve reached my limit when I went to Reds apartment and when I opened the door I saw janes phone on the counter. Which is really at weird because at the end of the day theyre family and that’s not weird but what was weird was that Jane nor Red were anywhere to be found. I had walked around the apartment for a while till I got Reds bedroom and saw both of them laying in bed together (They weren’t naked or anything but they were like laying ontop on one another, like cuddling skin to skin whilst clothed from what I could see.) When I walked in a saw them next to each other all the memories of the way they had acted with eachother rushed into my head and I just assumed the worst and started screaming and cursing which got Reds attention and he immediately sat up and started screaming back at me asking me what I was scream about and we started a screaming match and I told him off about his weird behaviour with Jane and how brothers don’t act that way with each other until they are getting with eachother and he froze and just started at me and before he could say anything else I left his apartment and drove back home. (If jane had said anything I didn’t hear it over the screaming but idk) I don’t know who the tell this to or what to do because I’m well aware that siblings don’t act that way and that something has to be going on but I don’t know how to talk to Red about it and I don’t think I should bring this up to anyone close friends because of bias so I’m asking Reddit. What do I do???

I’m at my wits end rn and I’m convinced that my family has multiple bloodline curses on both sides that have been falling upon me and are trying to take me out before I get to the good part of my life.
For context, My mom died when I was 13 from cancer after a turbulent battle with her mental health (constant cycles of mania and depression) and my dad has been an in and out alcoholic my whole life, losing all the money he gains despite working all the time. ALL (emphasis on all because it’s actually insane) the women in my mom’s side (my mom, my aunt, my grandma and great grandma) lost their children to the system for as long as we can remember, and all the oldest men on both sides struggle with heavy addiction that I can only akin to a jinx.
I’m convinced I’m a curse breaker. Every struggled with every mental health battle and barrier I can imagine in life from homelessness to addiction to mania. I’ve survived through every single even off the strength and mental fortitude I’ve had for myself since I came out of the womb. My mother named me Christian because she said I came out praying for everyone when I was born. After all of the hardships I’ve encountered, I’ve spent every waking hour since quarantine improving my spiritual and mental health, and studying esoteric knowledge. I don’t practice hoodoo, but I’ve been feeling it call to me and I found out my father’s grandparents (and probably my paternal grandmother) all practiced rootwork.
So my reason for making this. After years of living with my adopted mom, I finally decided to move out on my own. I have roommates and 2 jobs and am on the course to go back to school in the fall after having to pay for college myself. But right when it seems like everything is about to be well in my life, I keep feeling this feeling like something is trying to stop me from succeeding. I think it’s a bloodline jinx, because my brother has been experiencing similar symptoms after recently turning 19. All of the jobs we work keep getting shut down. We both got scammed multiple times, and now my finances are in the worst detriment I’ve ever seen. Mentally and spiritually, I can feel abundance around the corner, but I also feel like the jinxes are stronger than ever. But everything happens for a reason.
IF ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN PRACTICING HOODOO CAN REACH OUT AND DO WORKS ON ME AND MY BROTHERS TO LIFT THE BLOODLINE CURSES AND FIX OUR FINANCES SO WE CAN FINALLY MAKE IT OUT OF THE STRUGGLES WE’VE ENDURED OUR ENTIRE LIVES, I WILL BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. I don’t have much money rn, not enough to even buy materials so I guess I’m asking for a favor, but I’m willing to pay whatever it takes to turn the tides in our favor. Please someone help.

Ok long one ahead. I’m sorry I’m advance for my writing, I usually don’t write this much on Reddit.
For reference, I’m a female in her early twenties. I go through periods of mild activity level to pretty active. I walk around 5 miles a day currently with frequent exercise. I’m relatively healthy, could probably lose 10lbs but definitely not obese or overweight. I eat well for the most part & probably only consume fried foods once a week.
When I was 21 I was diagnosed with gallstones. It was a few months after my mom passed away and the diagnoses happened after three ER visits in which I had severe gallbladder attacks. For months before these attacks, I was having pain that I would pass off as gas and discomfort, but when I had my first attack I knew it was very different. Each time, no gallstones were lodged in my bile duct so they could never do emergency surgery. During my second visit, the doctors finally found out what was wrong. My doctor was shocked. Nothing showed up in my blood work indicating that I would have gallbladder troubles or gallstones, I was very active(2 hours daily in the gym) and not overweight he said, so it didn’t make a ton of sense but apparently I had a LOT more gallstones than normal in my gallbladder.
I decide that I really want to manage this through my diet because I’m so young & I have read that many peoples symptoms continue after some time. I would still wake up with gallbladder attacks once or twice every week, pain nearly every night, not really tied to certain foods either…yeah seriously…but I started taking the medicine I was prescribed in the ER (half of a 5mg hydrocodone that would basically put me back to sleep). Fast forward a few months, I am only having attacks around once a week. I read one obscure study that has studied female patients with gallbladder troubles at younger ages after having been on birth control. So I decide to stop taking my birth control.
After I quit BC, I start to have symptoms less frequently, only about one attack a month.
Fast forward to now, It’s been three years since diagnosis. After the first year and a half I saw significant improvement. I have only had 3 gallbladder attacks in the past year. None in 2024! I eat fried foods on occasion and red meats, all of the “no no” foods. Even now, my attacks are not linked to certain foods unless I eat fried food for more than one meal a day or two days in a row.
However, in the past three months, I’ve been having a full ache in my gallbladder from time to time. It hasn’t turned into an attack and feels different than it usually did when signaling for an attack….so I guess my question is…is this STILL gallstones after all this time? Why is there just a full ache sometimes? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I guess I’m not sure what I’m asking but sometimes the feelings associated with my pain or discomfort are hard to explain and it can feel isolating. I wanted to share with my fellow sufferers.

That's basically what happened. While in a nursing home, I suffered a loss. my best friend died and I didn't handle it well. I started hoarding my nerve pain pills because I was depressed and had suicidal ideations. I was found out by the staff and had to spend a little time in Harding behavioral hospital at OSU. When I got out, I was invited back to the nursing home. They took away all pain/nerve/sleep/anxiety meds I had. This was after the doctors at the hospital had gotten my med balance right.
One of the nurses at the nursing home began slipping me pills for pain and anxiety. Mostly Gabapentin, but also sedatives, xanax, and sometimes opioids. He knew I was fiending and struggling with the pain. He told me the home only invited me back because of liability concerns, but they took away my meds in order to get me to leave, but he didn't want to see me go. He kept giving me the pills, then he was asking for money for them a few times. He was always talking about his financial issues and his alimony payments.
This was through May, June, July of last year. When he couldn't get me pills, he helped me get them online, picked my script up at CVS a couple times, and even had one sketchy off the grid order delivered to his house so he could bring them to me and they wouldn't be caught by the receptionist. That was the last one. The order at the end of July, when he gave me this bottle of over 100 pills each were 600mg of Gabapentin. I took so many that I couldn't go to sleep and the nursing home was scheduling me to discharge even though I didn't have a place to go. I had a breakdown where I took a lot of the pills he got me and shut myself in the shower room. I fell hit my head and my shoulder. i was bleeding everywhere and was sent to the hospital.
I know this isn't a catastrophic case of death or paralysis, and I've gotten a couple responses basically saying I wasn't damaged enough for their firm to care, have suggested that I have a case and not to give up. Are there ways to find smaller law offices who might take the case? Should I try more personal injury firms? I've only tried 3. Is there a way to get my case noticed by someone who would take it seriously? I mean, I almost killed myself. i definitely damaged parts of my body like my eyes and shoulder. I spent months in behavioral treatment and therapy.
Do I have a case? Should I bother? This guy could be doing this to other patients, but would anyone believe me even with the texts, invoices, receipts, and recordings.

My (18m) mom is psychotic, but for whatever reason nobody in my family gives a shit. She has always been a little crazy (she believes in every conspiracy theory in the book), but she didn’t really go off the deep end until my dad divorced her when I was 4. Since then, she has gotten progressively crazier to an unmanageable level. I could write an epic just filled with everything she’s done that’s crazy, but I will just hit the highlights.

• when I was in kindergarten, she told me on the way home from school that Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and everything in between were not real.
• when I was a child, she constantly filled my head with the idea that I was going to be tortured and killed in the future for being a Christian. She also made it seem like I was going to go to hell if I sinned at all. I used to shower and bathe at the hottest temperature possible as a kid because i wanted to get prepared for hell.
• when I was 8 years old, she joined a cult (or pseudo religion, or whatever you want to call it) called Hebrew Roots. The basic premise was Judaism plus Jesus, but with no grace. From 8 years old and on she had me follow the rules of Judaism (rest on Friday and Saturday, don’t eat certain foods, etc,) even though I am not Jewish.
• since I was 8, she has taken me on numerous “vacations” which mostly consisted of visiting a friend in her religion (most notably a Native American chief) and studying the Old Testament for 10-12 hours a day.
• my sister used to live with my mom. For her 21st birthday, she “wore a revealing dress and went to the club on a Friday night (sabbath)” my mom kicked her out of the house for this, and she was homeless for some time.
• she said to me “where did we go wrong with you?” Because I said I didn’t like to cook (not in a joking way)
• she constantly pitted me against my dad when I was a kid, from sending him an email to “not persecute my religion”, to telling me my brother chose my dad and my sister chose her, and I would have to choose a side
• she constantly has childlike temper tantrums and meltdowns for no reason. I always have to comfort her, and most of my life I have felt like I had to be a parent to her instead of the other way around -she gets upset at anything and everything “non-biblical”
• one time, I wasn’t showing just enough excitement about what she was talking about (I think Old Testament numerals) and she started to sob and recount everything bad that has ever happened to her (everything from my dad divorcing her to her high school boyfriend cheating on her)
• one time, she saw MF DOOM rings I had put in the Amazon shopping cart, and said that I was “opening a portal to the spirit world”
• I started seeing a therapist about a year and a half ago, and she has probably said 25 plus times that she “respects confidentiality.” Then, in a recent vacation, she had a meltdown when I refused to share what I talked to my therapist about, and told my dad I “have no interest in having a relationship” with her.

I live with my dad, and since we moved to St. Louis from fl 5 years ago, I have not seen my mom that much (thankfully). The problem is, all my close family are pushing me to be nice and accept my mom for who she is. My dad and brother both think I am overreacting when I say I don’t want to see her. This means I am effectively permanently stuck with being friendly with my mom, as I do not want to alienate my other family members. I hate that someone can do so much shit to you and get off scot free.

She called me immediately because she can pick up on my subtext, even though we've always lived at least 1,000 miles from one another. It's bizarre how in sync we are.
She knew from my dumb little joke how I really felt. I would never say this to my spouse, but in many ways, I hate how my life turned out.
I didn't want to be tied down. I wanted to travel the world; work in Antarctica and see Japan. I wanted to cook the most amazing food I never could have dreamed of, drink the finest wines and cocktails. I wanted to be able to fuck whomever I wanted. I wanted to surround myself with people who shared my desire to live life submerged in the esoteric, beautiful, and fleeting moments.
I wanted to live like the world is ending, because every goddamned day, it seems like it is.
I have a good husband. Yeah, he's a lazy stoner stereotype, but he's a good, kind man who's a wonderful father and supportive spouse. He's also an indoor cat who's an incredibly picky eater. I also find him boring.
I mean, dude eats as if you gave a 12 year old money to buy enough food for the weekend and left him to his own devices. I'm talking frozen mini pizzas and chicken nuggets. He doesn't see the value in eating out ever, and has only ever left the comfort of home by my insistence.
I'm not unaware of my situation though. Dude told me from jump he wanted a family. He's never hidden anything from me. He was the only man I'd ever been with who never looked at me with expectation or premise in his eyes.
I picked this. I know that.
We moved here to Maine from the west coast because he missed his family. I'm from the Midwest and I don't have strong ties with my family, so it was an easy move.
I work for a company that works with restaurants, without being in kitchens myself. It was a lateral move so I could start a family. On one hand I miss it because it's long hours for alright pay, but I was exposed to some really wonderful things. My job now is meh pay with restaurant hours that fits perfectly with my husband's work schedule so our daughter gets plenty of time with both of us plus shared days off.
I'm just fucking bored andevery day, I see the hourglass of my life trickling away with not much to show for it.
I feel doomed at the shitty situations in the United States that was started when my parents were young. They were sold the American Dream™️, which they passed to my siblings and I. College was a necessity, because that was how one becomes successful. Credit scores were invented in the '80s and wages have been stagnating longer than that. We're wage slaves, and housing and food costs "are out of control", which the oligarchy we live in invented and maintains. The three of us and our two cats are crammed in a 1 bedroom apartment because it's all we can afford.
What's that? Seek help?
I haven't found a therapist that is worth what I pay them, because they don't offer real solutions. I do have a prescription for an antidepressant. This is bigger than that. Lmk if you want my depression playlist.
I want to tear up my life and start from scratch. I wish I had chosen a different path. If I could go back to 18 and rewrite things, knowing what I know now, I would.
I applaud you if you've made it this far honestly. I'm probably going to delete this tomorrow anyway. Cheers. Thanks for reading.

Hi, I’m new here. Clots run in my family. My uncle died from a dvt and my aunt had to go to the Er for multiple PE. First of all I’m very in tune with my body. I know when something is off and I’m very caution particularly with this because of my family history. About a week ago I started feeling pain in my leg, it wasn’t too bad or anything ( I also have a high pain tolerance) it was more intuitive but I went to the doctor bc I thought it may be a clot. He told me he would run labs and that “ even if I had a clot I would have to wait to see a hematologist “ I gt the results of my d dimer test it was 6000 . So I took it soon myself to go to the er, guess what? They could see no clothing my leg but I had multiple in both lungs. Scattered, . Right there admitted to the hospital. them the chest pain came and shortness of breath again though tolerable. A week there, on heparin . I just got out and now I’m on Eliquis. 5mg. I was tested and I do have the protein s deficiency mutation , so my appointment with the hematologist is in June. I have been home a few days but I feel worse. My pain in my chest is worse and the shortness of breath is worse I’m debating going back but I’m almost certain they will not make it as big of a deal since I’m on the blood thinner..
This is all new and scary and I feel like I’ll be paranoid for life now, if not about a clot about me hurting myself accidentally while in the blood thinner.. & praying this mutation doesn’t get passed on to my child..

I posted in this sub a few times last year when I was really going through it. Brain fog, anxiety, fatigue, vision issues, debilitating headaches and hyper sensitivity (“mini” concussions from small bumps of the head). I had 4-5 concussions over the course of 3 years, with 3 of those occurring within 2 months of each other. Outside of some lingering neck issues, I’ve made a full recovery and want to share what worked for me.
Please don’t let this long list stress you out though. There were days when getting out of bed in the morning felt like an accomplishment. Every recovery is different and only you can know what your body and brain are feeling.
Commitment After my most recent injury I decided that getting better was the most important thing in my life and I completely dedicated myself to my recovery. That’s why this list is as long as it is — I decided I was going to try everything.
Research Learning about concussions is a great place to start! It really helped me plan my course of action and think rationally about recovery. This sub is a great source of knowledge. Complete concussion management on YouTube has some great intro videos too.
Exercise I think that exercise was the #1 most important factor in my recovery. I started by going on short daily walks and doing light yoga in my house and eventually built up to 2x cardio 3x weightlifting 2x yoga every week. I got in the habit of exercising early in the day and felt like it really helped with my mental energy throughout the day.
Diet I tried to eat an anti inflammatory diet but it was hard (I really love to eat lol). I couldn’t go completely keto but I cut out carbs where I could and made an effort to cook all of my own meals with a lot of protein and vegetables. Avocado and olive oils give you omega 9s which are important for omega 3 absorption. I also didn’t really drink at all.
Supplements I don’t know exactly what worked and what didn’t but you should definitely be taking omega 3 (and probably creatine). My stack: - 4000 mg Nordic Naturals omega 3. Can cut down to normal dose after a couple months - 5 mg creatine monohydrate - 2000 mg magnesium l-theronate - 1g ImmPower AHCC (mushroom-based immune supplement) - 125 mcg vitamin d3 - Multivitamin - Dietary fiber + probiotic (gut health is important)
CBD Only way I could get to sleep for a couple months. Great for headaches. It’s also a nice substitute for alcohol when going out with friends.
Concussion clinic + Neurofeedback I went to a concussion clinic in NC shortly after my last concussion. Most of my problems were cognitive so my doctor recommended a neurofeedback program. I was super skeptical at first but it definitely improved my screen tolerance and I felt like it helped with teaching my brain how to switch off.
Neurologist + Nortryptoline Neurologists are really only good for one thing: prescribing meds. There’s a good chance you don’t need to take an SNRI but I had nerve damage at the site of impact that, whenever touched, would cause me a lot of pain and trigger hours of concussion symptoms. I think that my meds (prescribed for nerve pain) helped get some of this hypersensitivity under control.
Meditation There are people on this sub who can speak to this better than me but after a concussion your autonomic nervous system can be in an “always on” mode where you’re constantly in a state of fight or flight. Meditation while concussed is very challenging and won’t immediately zen you out but it will help you notice just how overactive your brain is and help you train yourself to redirect your attention when your mind runs wild.
Physical therapy + dry needling If you have any neck pain at all, go to PT. Seriously! It might be causing most if not all of your headaches. A few months of stretching and strengthening exercises helped resolve most of my headaches. Also, if dry needling is legal in your state, seek it out for really intense neck tightness. My PT offered needling and it was a godsend on my worst days.
Brain challenges I’m a computer programmer so getting back into work was challenging enough but I also made an effort to try to learn a new language and do some daily puzzles to help foster some new neural connections.
Try to relax when I bump my head Idk I still freak out when I bonk. I probably have had 30-40 “flare ups” over the past 2 years. No one on the internet seems to have a great answer for why this happens. I think it’s probably some sort of learned response from the brain in response to a stressor. I recently took the approach of doing everything in my power to chill out when I bump my head on something (including taking cbd immediately after). Not sure if this helped or I just needed time but I hit my head on a cabinet pretty hard last week and experienced no symptoms! That’s honestly what encouraged me to write this post.
I hope some of this will be helpful to someone. Feel free to comment or hit my dm’s if you want any more detail on anything.

I've been a substitute teacher for the past 3 years in my city's district. While doing this I've been going to school full time to be a teacher, what better way to get acclimated to the profession than to work in it as much as possible so you're more ready for it when you're hired, right? The harder you work, the more flexible you are, the more admin will notice, right? This is what I was lead to believe from my teaching school. I'm sure it was well-intentioned to us, but in the past months, I've come to believe that wasn't quite the case.
For perspective, my emphasis is mainly secondary social studies, I love history and teaching it to youth, it something I feel personally called to do. But however in those past 3 years I came to love teaching elementary too from consistent field experience subbing all grades K-12. So I applied for jobs in both my main field of study and elementary.
The hiring window has come and gone and I didn't get any interviews at all in my main field of study, and only made it too a pool interview for K-5. I discussed things with the assistant superintendent and the reasons I didn't get hired through to k-5 were for things that were pretty petty and not fully true. Which was one thing, but what was really dejecting was not getting any interviews in the area I was most qualified in, especially since I put time and effort into those places and went above and beyond in my subbing and student teaching to provide the best possible classroom environment I could (I have had great relationships with all the students and they are excited to have me in class as there teacher).
TBH I don't know what administration is even looking for anymore when they hire teachers, why wouldn't they at least give a chance to a candidate they know and trust? Unless someone has it out for me? I'm not the only one who's experienced this for the record my buddy graduated with me in the same field and he also didn't get any interviews, and he put in time as a great ST and a long term sub.
Tying in with the beginning, part of me feels like I may have damaged my reputation with my district by subbing consistently. Upon the assistant superintendents interpretation, it feels like with working as a sub for a long time, admin will pigeon hole little things about you as a candidate and miss the big picture of why you're a great choice, through consistency, friendliness, patience with students, and positive role modeling. I may have been better not subbing at all and straight applying with no knowledge yo admin of who I am or what I'm like. That seems to be what they prefer in my district, shots in the dark, instead of what's right in front of them.
For the record, my district is ultra competitive when it comes to teacher benefits and salaries, so I'm not totally surprised on how difficult it is to get hired, just confused as to why I'm not even considered a suitable candidate?

We have been dating for about a year and together for three months. During time we get sexual he started off introducing to me his kink I personally didn't like it and my feelings still remain the same. He likes to slap my face spit on me and has often times described to me his fantasy of r someone even making me sit in a tub and pee on me to make me feel like trash basically. He has forced anal and oral He's used words like slt bich etc.. I know there are fetishes out there but I never felt comfortable with these sorts of things. He tries to convince me these were my ideas but I truly just want normal intimacy. I've expressed it and often felt him bored. I love him and am quite insecure and afraid to leave. Recently he had a woman move in and was there for 2 weeks where I didn't get to visit and he would come see me. He swares up and down it was just a friend who needed a place to stay. But during a brief period I needed a place and he didn't offer. Not to mention he helped her move. I moved all alone had to sleep on mt moms couch while im his gf. I have found myself drinking and crying in depression as i cant see why he wont just dump me Today was the worst for us and proved to me he doesn't care about me.. my car died leaving his house (i left because i gound a dildo that wasnt mine at his house) and when i valled him ouy he claimed it was old. and when I called him he didn't pick up I was about 5 min drive from him on a freeway exit and couldn't get a tow to help me due to it being electric and completely dead I had to wait until 7 am (this happened around 3 am) because they needed a tow with a special tool. I left my car on the side of the freeway I didn't wanna stay in there until 7. I have heard terrible stories of being stuff on an off ramp. I attempted to call him and no answer. I had to end up walking 1hr towards him with a friend on the phone because I was afraid of the area. Eventually I got tired of walking and hitched a ride(against my better jusgement) but I was afraid and it was so much faster in car. The guy offered me beer and cigarette for the stress but I didn't feel right so I refused the extra offers. I get to his house and he is staring blankly awoken from sleep. I explain the situation and lay on my side avoiding him. I just needed to rest until it was time to reattempt to get the tow truck. I was so tired I just slept with him until he awoke somewhat he then had me reexplain what happened because he was so tired he didn't comprehend what happened that night. I still was bummed he wasn't there for me and feel like this is an ongoing pattern of ignoring my calls. The point is if this is my partner he should have been there for me. In the morning when we awoke around 1030 I began chatting with aaa dispatch preparing to get my vehicle. They didn't understand why I wasnt at it and why there was no key that would work. I explained my phone is the key and the car is dead and my phone would have died as well and at a offramp... after going back and forth and finally getting them to understand the situation they agreed to come get me I waited until the time they agreed to get me and no call. I called dispatch again and they said I needed to be their this time my boyfriend got up angrily and said he would take me to it... I was trying to avoid him taking me. He screamed at me the whole way saying how do I not know where my car was but I knew the whole time and was explaining it's off a specific freeway on a specific exit... he couldn't figure how to.get to it and I was frantically trying to type it into his GPS. He told me how stupid I was for not putting in an address... but it's not an adress he was ready to drop me off and make me walk until we finally spotted the tow truck. He messaged me in apology on text but I feel like all the signs are clear I'm just already to leave

Family had lots of problems with money. Ancestral property went to feed away the ungrateful greedy and cheating relatives so my responsibility was looked like a burden though I was their own granddaughter. Before me, they had looked after 12 people who had parents, ancestral property, but the opportunity of living in a good city. Not to mention that more temporary people would often come and stay for short periods of time like months. Our house was like a dharamshala and my mother who would start cooking food breakfast at morning would finish it by afternoon and often no food left for her to eat. Such a scenario was in our house.
These people stayed for years and my grandma nephew stayed longer for 20+ years and left only after my grandparents got him a central government job by bribing politicians and losing money and gold to help his parents build an house in village. His parents didn't even give a grain of rice for his upbringing but again cheated my grandparents . they Shamelessly took and took. My grandparents were cheated and leeched from each of their own sisters, just imagine. Now, all of their children are living treated well by other relatives. Our family who bore all the difficulties are still being treated badly by relatives and I sometimes wonder if being good and kind just leads to suffering. My grandma would hate me sometimes for being dependent on them and just unleashed everything her anger and hurt on me. I'm still suffering from this and have been very much angry with my relatives for this. Their children are enjoying their lives while I am suffering and also being humiliated by them for not being wealthy.
My family has struggled to maintain integrity and "social prestige " even though they had money problems. They brought loans or borrowed money and often people would come to recover money to house and I would be panicking. There are times when I had few clothes to wear and less food to eat. But the relatives think that we are rich and enjoying and often jealous of our family. Everyone in my family have struggled to come up in life and resent me. I feel sad because I am related to them but still underwent this unlike other people who have enjoyed in my house. I have a bad relationship with money matters or resources, don't know if my upbringing has caused or I am very unlucky in life.
Now my family keep telling me to save family honour by having self-respect and present myself well to society. They are right to ask me, but I'm not able to understand what is self-respect and how to maintain it. People have looked down on me and judged me badly. Being a woman is difficult here, can't be isolated from people for long and getting mocked openly is difficult to go through. My situation has been worse over the years and also the added fear of not having food or clothes. Pandemic damaged everything for me. Like my life took a rough path. Mental health issues is much lower now. Unfortunately, I am not able to... maintain the social status and respect. How to?

A few years ago, I had the chance to learn about Venerable Minh Tue through the YouTube channel Nhan Ga Vlogs. The videos show the monk in a cave at Mount San (Nha Trang), near my home. In these videos, the Venerable does not preach or talk about himself. He only answers questions and shares his journey of practice honestly. What I am most interested in are his insights on practice and discipline. I realized that Venerable Minh Tue has read extensively and understands the Nikaya scriptures deeply, practicing according to the Buddha's teachings. This led me to conclude that he is a true monk.
Today, Venerable Minh Tue is known by many (I prefer not to use the word "famous" for a monastic) and has widespread influence, reaching beyond national borders. The story of Venerable Minh Tue has become hotter than ever, flooding social media with videos and images of him. This has sparked a variety of opinions, ranging from admiration and respect to criticism and contempt. Many paths of human experience!
Fortunately, those who think negatively about him are still a minority.
Venerable Minh Tue practices the ascetic path of Dhutanga. Some people look at his conduct and attire and criticize him as crazy, self-mortifying, lacking wisdom, and not following the Middle Way that the Buddha encouraged. However, these critics do not realize that Venerable Minh Tue is practicing according to the correct Dharma, following the teachings of the original scriptures. He has abandoned family life, living a pure and simple life, renouncing all attachments, and practicing minimalism and contentment. People confuse the ascetic practices of Dhutanga with the severe austerities the Buddha practiced during his six years of seeking enlightenment. Those severe practices involved extreme self-mortification, causing great physical pain (originating from Brahmanism). Thus, Dhutanga in a sense is a precursor to the Middle Way and still closely aligns with it.
Many argue that monastic life should prioritize wisdom over physical asceticism. However, they confuse worldly wisdom with Buddhist wisdom. Worldly wisdom is human cognitive ability, derived from genetics and education, whereas Buddhist wisdom is only revealed when a practitioner strictly adheres to precepts. Observance of precepts leads to concentration, and concentration leads to wisdom. Therefore, the Buddha said, "Where there is virtue, there is wisdom and vice versa."
The core of practicing Dhutanga is to end all defilements and impurities. This practice helps the practitioner guard the senses, not being influenced by circumstances, gradually eliminating greed, hatred, and delusion. That is why monastics eat only one meal a day (reducing greed for food), sleep sitting (reducing the desire for sleep, as lying down can lead to deep, excessive sleep), and wear three robes (actually one set, the minimum requirement, reducing attachment to clothing).
Some criticize why a Dhutanga practitioner does not live alone in the forest but wanders across the country. The answer is that finding forests in Vietnam today like in the Buddha's time is impossible. Venerable Minh Tue has also spent time in seclusion on Mount San. So why does he choose to walk across the country? He answers that it is to "train and maintain health." In a deeper understanding, he is practicing the true Dharma of the Tathagata. Walking helps him to be mindful of body, feelings, mind, and phenomena; living in hardship, experiencing suffering, and understanding the cause of suffering leads to the end of suffering, rather than hoping to escape suffering to find happiness.
On his journey, if he is tempted by material possessions, money, or beauty, it means that desire has arisen; if he feels troubled by the crowd, it means anger has arisen. Therefore, solitary retreat alone may not necessarily help control the mind when faced with worldly temptations.
Many people also question the social utility of his wanderings. If everyone did as he does, who would produce food? These questions are shortsighted and self-serving.
What have we done for society? Everyone contributes to society in varying degrees, and human values are not solely measured by material contributions but also by spiritual ones. Typically, what we do is visible and beneficial to ourselves and our families. In contrast, what Venerable Minh Tue has done for society is far more significant and evident:

• He has helped many people see the image of original Buddhism and the monastic life of the Buddha.
• He serves as a mirror reflecting the true nature of some "fraudulent monks," "transaction monks," and "advisory monks."
• He has awakened many who were lost in false doctrines, bringing them back to the light of the true Dharma.
• He has maintained faith in Buddhism for many and earned the admiration of followers of other religions.
• He has inspired many to reflect on themselves, reducing greed, hatred, and delusion in their lives. Some have even given up everything to follow his path.
• In a way, he has brought people closer and fostered social harmony.

If society could follow his example, it would be wonderful. Then, I believe, society would not only have food and clothing but also a more peaceful and happy life. However, few people can do what he does!
Some people question why he refers to himself as "con" (child) instead of "thầy" (teacher).
First, he has chosen the path of renunciation, no longer bound by monastic duties at a temple, and does not consider himself anyone's teacher to avoid influencing others and bureaucratic issues.
Second, the self-reference "thầy" among monks and laypeople today is merely a convention in communication. There is no binding requirement. In essence, it is a cultural practice in Vietnamese language, while in English, it is just "I-You," or in Chinese, "Wǒ 我 - Nǐ 你." Some high-ranking monks still refer to themselves as "tôi" (I) or their Dharma names when teaching. Venerable Minh Tue's use of "con" with everyone demonstrates his practice of humility, renouncing the ego, which is the spirit of selflessness.
Currently, wherever he goes, hundreds to thousands of people follow, including many YouTubers, TikTokers, and Facebookers. This has raised concerns about security and disruptions to his practice.
I believe we should not rush to blame or criticize those creating social media content. Let's see the positive side, for without them, how could the beautiful image of a true monk spread? In this era, spreading the Dharma and sharing good things are more effective with the support of media and social networks. How else would Vietnamese Buddhists know about the teachings of monks like Phap Hoa or Tinh Khong and other high-ranking monks?
Moreover, their gathering is also a test for Venerable Minh Tue to practice mind control. If he starts feeling important, central, or like a star due to attention and veneration, he immediately falls into ego clinging and arrogance. If he gets annoyed by the crowd, it means anger has arisen. These situations are ultimate tests on the path of precepts and mindfulness. Observing him, no matter how hard the walk, his face remains serene with a smile. Perhaps he has attained tranquility.
Some people express sympathy for him, tearfully seeing him bareheaded, barefoot, under the sun and rain. This emotional response is understandable but from a worldly perspective. Choosing the path of asceticism makes him feel internal joy, and these hardships help him approach enlightenment.
Some worry about him facing dangers from dark forces. Don't worry; choosing this path requires great courage. Didn't he say, "If I'm allowed to live, I'll continue to practice"? This shows fearlessness as he has thoroughly understood impermanence and selflessness. What we should care about is whether he has truly attained this mindset. If he has, Nirvana is not far away. Therefore, we should rejoice.
I predict that at some stage, after experiencing suffering and training body and mind, Venerable Minh Tue might retreat into seclusion to achieve enlightenment. Once precepts are fully observed, meditation is necessary to attain concentration.
Certainly, his influence has reduced the income of some fraudulent monks, who might even have to sell cars and land. Therefore, it is not surprising that efforts to defame and harm Venerable Minh Tue are intensifying. Initially, they fabricated stories of false monasticism with staged filming. They ridiculed his robe, calling it "plot selling land," or criticized his rice cooker as an unofficial alms bowl. But they fail to understand that he has reached a state of non-attachment, indifferent to shame or ridicule. Having chosen a renunciant life, living without family, sleeping in cemeteries, overcoming family ties is the greatest obstacle.
The meanest tactic they use is labeling him as an agent of foreign anti-government organizations, portraying him as a beggar monk to undermine Vietnamese Buddhism and the nation.
I must say, Vietnamese Buddhism is undermined by fraudulent monks, tolerated and supported. They exploit karma and reincarnation theories, distorting and frightening the ignorant with horrific afterlife scenarios. They continue exploiting donations as a way to resolve karmic debts, seeking blessings, and accumulating merit, the more money, the better, even encouraging devotees to donate entire houses to temples and live simply elsewhere. In short, just donate.
Therefore, the purification of fraudulent monks will be the revival of Vietnamese Buddhism.
Praising Venerable Minh Tue's practice does not mean devaluing other practices of true monks in the country. Each has different capacities and vows, so not everyone can be the same. Every individual is here to fulfill a unique mission.
If the standard of a monk is virtue, clearly, the one who practices surpasses the one who understands. Practicing Dhutanga is a great merit, rarely achieved. Therefore, praising and respecting virtue is right but not deifying or idolizing Venerable Minh Tuệ at this moment, as this would lead to wrong views and contradict the spirit of Buddhism.
To understand the significance of practicing Dhutanga, let me quote the Buddha's praise of Venerable Kasyapa's practice:
“Well done! Well done, Kasyapa! You have brought great benefit and saved innumerable beings, extending this to all the realms of gods and men. Why? Kasyapa, if this ascetic practice remains in the world, then my teachings will also remain long in the world. If my teachings remain in the world, then the path to the heavenly realm will increase, and the three evil paths will diminish. Likewise, the noble paths of Sotapanna, Sakadagami, Anagami, and the Three Vehicles will also remain in the world. Monks, you should practice as Kasyapa does.
Thus, monks, you should learn this.” (4)
Notes: (1) In the Samannaphala Sutta, Kinh Chung Đức (2) Also known as Prajna Wisdom (3) In the Kinh Chung Đức (4) In the Ekottara Agama, Volume I
Nha Trang, May 10, 2024 Nguyen Thanh Huy Email: [thanhhuy1979@gmail.com]()
Editor's Note: (*) Currently a lecturer in the Department of Linguistics at the University.

In an hour, I will be 235 days sober. I dont’t Reddit a lot, and never make posts, but I felt like sharing this so maybe someone on the fence out there will decide to stop drinking before they end up like me. Everyone knows the consequences of drinking, but seldom ever do I see anyone talk about what living like that is, what the first year of recovery feels like, etc.
I am an alcoholic, and I can never drink again. My body does something with alcohol that no “normal” person’s does. I got hit with a genetic double whammy from two alcoholic grandfathers plus high risk of substance abuse from autism. Coupled with working in a professional industry where consuming alcohol is almost mandatory, ignorance, and a shitty upbring, I never really had a chance.
I never really got into any trouble for drinking. I didn’t start fights, I didn’t get arrested for a DUI/DWI, I didn’t have wrecks, and I didn’t miss work. I had a high-paying albeit incredibly harrowing job and a fiance, but I was losing my health and my mind. Lots of unresolved mental issues and an extremely high stress environment meant that over a period of 2-3 years, my drinking spiraled out of control and I denied it the entire time. I tried to quit drinking, I couldn’t. I forced myself to dry out for 11 days regardless, and it was pure hell. Sweating, shaking, vomiting blood, psychosis, hallucinations, nausea, headache, diarrhea, extreme paranoia, brain fog, and fear. Pure terror, honestly. On the 12th day I drank, and I drank for another 3 months before I checked myself into rehab after losing everything.
My fiance left in a brutally cruel fashion along with her family, she took my dog, she stole cash, she had put me into some debt, etc. I had allowed my psychotic father back into my life previously and he picked this moment of desperation and abject hoplessness in my life to go full narcissist and ruin what little sanity I had left. I ended up drinking myself into psychosis, almost dying, almost committing suicide, and disappearing off the face of the planet before going to rehab. I didn’t want to live anymore; rehab was nightmarish. I made the best of it, but it was soul crushing in every way imaginable.
I joined AA as soon as rehab was over, declared bankruptcy, and am now trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I honestly should not be alive right now, and I honestly still don’t want to be.
Drinking and what I went through because of it and other people has fundamentally changed me as a human being. I am a shell of myself. I deal with constant suicidal thoughts despite psychiatry (and a brain scan, blood test, X-ray, etc. no tumor), I have panic attacks for no reason, moments of intense terror for absolutely no reason, bouts of nihilistically staring at the wall for hours on end, no interest in anything, no desire to eat, inability to sleep, no social life outside of AA, and an outlook on life that is so fundamentally negative that I would not wish this on my worst enemy or any other human being no matter how heinous they are.
No one deserves to live this way, and this is the price I must pay for the last 5 years of my alcoholism. I force myself to work, I force myself to go to the gym, and I force myself to get out of bed and go to AA. Everything I do is a struggle with no meaning, motivation, or joy behind it. I am an automation, a wind-up toy soldier, and nothing more. My insides have been hollowed out, I can’t imagine 30 more years of this, and I can’t imagine ever fully recovering from this either.
Please, if you are on the fence, stop drinking. Don’t become me. It is pure hell, and I’m one of the lucky ones that didn’t end up homeless or in prison or dead. Living like this every single day is almost as much of a nightmare as drinking every single day was. Don’t do this to yourself.
Stop before it’s too late.

I'm honestly considering getting out right now. I don't see hope. If I bring up an issue that's important to me, he gets angry at me for belittling him, so I just agree to calm him down. If I bring it up later, he's more receptive and will agree to ideas to make it better, but then it never happens. I keep getting my hopes up just to be crushed again. The worst part is, he thinks this relationship is great. He would be completely blindsided if I left. And I'm worried about how he would react, specifically how angry he would be.
Recent example for context: We are both military, he deployed for 9 months and got home a month ago. He offered without me asking for this, to spend this time saving soooo much money and we would be financially in a great place! Sounds awesome. Except he came home with 10k in credit card debt instead. I told him I felt let down by this, he became verbally angry, said I was belittling his progress because a year ago he actually had 12k in CC debt. I honestly don't see that as progress. I have no debt, an 800+ credit score and I'm ready to buy a second home, but can't because of him. Other examples, he offered to quit smoking. I didn't ask, he offered, but never quit. He loves to come up with a fun idea for dates, but I have to make all the arrangements if I want it to actually happen. Maintenance on the house, he has big dreams and plans, but I have to make us go to lowes, start the project, call the contractor, take the measurements, or none of it actually happens. I do get positive things from him, I hear "I love you" about 20 times a day, he recognizes that I'm hot, fun, smart, and encourages me in my hobbies, he's really fun to be around, the life of every party. But nothing ever changes. We came up with a budget, a plan to pay his debt off and fix his 500 credit score. I even offered to take it into my name on a 0% balance transfer and get rid of it in a year, he didn't even say thank you. He agreed enthusiastically to the budget, but immediately started doing whatever he felt like in the moment. I'm scared to bring it up again. I'm scared to tell him all the other ways he's been hurting me. How do you leave someone who is going to feel like they had no warning?

Headline from Sunday World article published yesterday.
Looks like the days following June 20th of this year might get very interesting…
Some quotes from the article:
“ “There is a guy very high up within the covert programme - he said we are going to do ‘catastrophic disclosure’. Huge and all at once that will catch the President and Congress flat foot,” Dr Greer stated this week.
The former emergency doctor has now rushed to make public all the information his group has in order to ‘prepare the public’ for what he says, is just around the corner.
"That is why I rushed to get the archive out - to prepare people for something much bigger which is coming.” …
The researcher describes the topic as being as ‘serious as a heart attack,’ and that there are many senior military sources waiting in the wings to come forward at the right time.
"The Senate Intelligence Committee had provided amnesty for high value whistle blowers to not be prosecuted for six months, but much of the teeth of the Disclosure Bill were taken out,” Dr Greer continued.
"I have people in these covert programmes who are furious. Two members of Congress killed the momentum. …
From June 20 onwards, apparently a three letter agency will be involved to provide protection for UFO whistle blowers.
"I’ve been working with the Goverment to put together a law enforcement effort.
"We need serious 24/7 protection for certain high value people who have worked in the Skunkworks (aerospace and technology facility), who have worked in the major corporations, people who managed illegal programmes for DOD (Department of Defence) off budget.”

I'll try and keep this as brief as possible while still giving necessary details.
Years ago, me and my sister's paternal grandparents created a family trust, as co-grantors. If I'm reading the trust correctly, the trust became irrevocable upon the death of the first grantor (my grandfather, in this case).
Some of what I believe are key factors of my concern are:

• The trust had an addition to corpus provision.
• It was established with a separate marital and residual trust. The marital was for the care of my grandparents in their old age, and the residual was for the beneficiaries.
• When the second grantor (my grandmother) passed, the marital and residual trusts were to be merged, and four individual accounts of equal value were to be created for the named beneficiaries (my two uncles [one of whom is deceased], my aunt [who became trustee after my grandparents died], and my father [now deceased, which is the lynchpin of my question]).
• The trust gives the trustee full discretionary control of the principal.
• The trust has a provision that states that should a named beneficiary die before the full principal was paid out, said beneficiary's share would pass to their legal lineal descendants (i.e. me and my sister).
• In 2007, my father took out an owner's mortgage from my grandma on the last piece of property my grandparents owned, and took the title and deed of the property in his name. The mortgage was not paid off before either of them died.
• My grandmother's will decreed that any of her personal money and assets not used to pay off her debts and other fees were to be transferred to the family trust.
• My father died without a will, and by his state's laws, my sister and I became the de facto beneficiaries of his estate in probate.
• My aunt had the remaining balance of the mortgage my dad took out transferred from my grandmother's estate to the family trust. My sister and I sold the property, paid off the remaining balance, and are keeping the equity.

Last week, I heard from my cousin (son of my deceased uncle) that my aunt dissolved the trust and dispersed the final funds. When I reached out to her asking about my father's 25% share, she claimed there was no more money for my father, and therefore no more money for me or my sister, and the only reason my cousin was receiving money from the trust is because he was a named legal heir on my grandmother's will (as was my father, if that makes a difference. My sister and I, however, we're not named descendants on my grandmother's will. We were estranged from my father, and we're not close with most of his side of the family).
Also, if this makes a difference, the trust was created through a bank in Florida, my grandmother died and her estate was established in Georgia, and my father died and his probate is being handled in Vermont (mentioning because I don't know if differences in each of these state's laws could complicate the matter further).
Anyway, my question is, is my aunt correct that my sister and I aren't entitled to money in the trust through the provisions mentioned because we weren't named heirs on my grandmother's will? If she IS wrong, and we WERE entitled to money from the trust, how was she able to dissolve it without paying us? And finally, if we are owed money from the trust, what are our options in regards to claiming that money as the trust is already dissolved and it's final principal paid out?
I mean, if she is right and we aren't owed money from the trust based on it's provisions, then that sucks for me and my sister, but it is what it is.
However if she's wrong, and we are owed money and take legal action, what are our chances of getting that money since the trust is already dissolved and paid out? And would pursuit of recoupment of that money hurt my cousin in any way, as technically he would have been paid a portion of money that wasn't meant for him? Or would my aunt be solely responsible as she failed in her obligations as trustee?
Sorry, I know I said I would try and keep it brief, but I wanted to be sure to mention all the details I think play a part in this complicated issue. If you need any more details, I will do my best to clarify based on my understanding of the matter.

I have a story and I am hoping someone can tell me the best way to find my wedding ring.
I purchased my wife a used riding lawnmower and had to remove the deck to get it home. Upon putting the deck back on I hooked my ring and put it down on the mower. After getting the deck back on and before I realized I forgot my ring my wife had cut two acres of the grass here. I have tried looking, my wife and daughter have now spent two days looking. We even used the cheap $100 metal detector we found when we moved into this house back in February. I am lost and cannot figure out what to do.
This ring signifies a turning point in my life. Three weeks after marrying my wife our house burned down. The only thing we had were the clothes on our backs and I found my ring sitting on my dresser after the fire. (Family home left to me for providing care for elderly parents until they passed in 2013&2015). Got fired from my job April 1st due to my narcolepsy acting up. And through every one of my pitfalls my wife has remained optimistic and by my side. The one symbol of us is now lost in my yard. The messed up part is that this is the first time we cut the grass since moving in and I lost my wedding band. I normally do not wear jewelry as I have been a machine operator and welder going on 15 years now. So when I took the ring off it never seemed out of place that it was not on my hand.
I am wondering the best way to find this ring or the best inexpensive metal detector and how to operate it to find this. If there is anyone in the Belleville mi area that wants to look I am ok with that too. I am just sick knowing I lost this. The ring was made from my father’s wedding band and since the fire it is all I have left of my parents (reused gold that my wife paid too much to have the ring made. It is a single diamond with our initials inscribed with our wedding date on it)
Any way anyone can point me in the right direction let me know. I will update this if any updates are needed. If this is not allowed sorry and please delete.

Third person POV:
It was a calm day in the Menumen empire. Lya was sitting on her throne and tending to the issues of her empire. Her seers had warned her of a possible slave rebellion that might take place in about a century. She obviously couldn't let something like that happen.
Lya turned her attention to her minister of human resources.
"Hear my decree, from this day onwards all slves shall-„
A guard burst into the room and fell to his knees in front of her.
"Yes?“
Lya inquired.
"Your majesty! There is a destroyer rampaging through the south eastern regions!“
"I see...I shall attend to this myself. Execute this guard, he has conducted himself improperly.“
Despite her words, a wide smile fell on the guards face.
"Thank you, your majesty! It is an honor!“
Lya rose from her throne and walked past the man, unimpressed by his devotion, paying him no further mind.
Meanwhile, in another part of the castle:
No sound was heard, as Delorem's many tentacles ripped apart the floor of the lower guards barrack's bathroom, the silence spell working as intended.
With a wave of their hand, Delorem dispelled the magic and rose from the hole, with Whisper following right behind him.
Mars POV:
I was in my cell.
“It’s been… how long has it been? I don’t remember…”
Im severely bruised and injured. My tail is limp, jagged, bent in multiple places, and dragging across the floor. There seems to be no magic coming out from me, around my neck is some sort of collar. I’m heavily bruised, malnourished, and frail looking. I look half dead.
Thirteen seconds…
7 seconds
5
4
3
2-
Before I could finish, the sounds of a guard walking past the cell could be heard, his loud but bored sounds of his patrol echoing out.
I whisper to myself
"I have 49 seconds.“
I attempt to crank up my perception, but halts just when it gets to the end of the hall. All this torture was starting to affect me. I gather the ambient fire mana into my fingertips, and make a small burning blade aura out of it. I begin cutting the bars…
30 seconds…
I make it through the first bar, two more to go.
25 seconds left…
I manage to saw through the other bars, and gathering whatever remains of the ambient mana, I cast a small illusion, covering up the bars and making it look like im sitting inside. I limp away, down the hall.
Damn stupid maze. 15 seconds…
”when I was first brought here, I attempted to remember the paths with my sense, but the pain made it quite hard to remember much of anything. Now I can’t see very far…”
I found a corner I know the guard won’t check. I’m out of breath. My body feeling weak and heavy.
Not… yet… I'm… almost… there…
I walk down the path I choose in the dungeon. Making turns wherever I saw fit. I didn’t seem to have a destination in mind. I was going in blind
I… … need… … to… … hold… … ou-
finally, at a four way intersection, I collapse to the ground of exhaustion. Alone. I’m far away from where the guards frequent.
I’ve fallen completely unconscious.
Third Person POV:
Thud
Yet another guard fell to the ground, his heart pierced by one of Delorem’s blade tipped tentacles.
Thud
The guard at the other end of the archway the two guards had been stationed at fell as well, his throat pierced by his own shadow at Whisper’s command.
Delorem waved their hand, dispelling yet another silence spell. They turned to Whisper.
„There are more guards stationed in this area then there used to be…I guess it makes sense she would have changed things at least once after 3000 years…"
"That is some very old intel Delorem. I am surprised the whole structure has not changed since then. I sense one around the corner and several above and below us.“
Whisper replied.
„My mother has a tendency to stagnate. She hasn’t even changed her- Do you feel that?“
"I feel many presences. Which one are you referring to?“
„Below us, the unconscious one. I think that’s Mars!“
"I will cover you if you want to head on in for retrieval.“
„Thank you. Take care of any guards that show up.“
For a moment, Delorem’s eyes were lit up by a dense array of golden runes, as silence fell over the area once more.
Delorem’s tentacles shot forwards, dairying into the ground as if it was made from styrofoam, throwing away pieces of debris as Delorem dug through the ground..
Then, a stone was flung too far, landing beyond the silence spell’s influence, the sound of its impact loudly echoing throughout the previously quiet halls of the castle.
„Shit.“
Delorem soundlessly mouthed.
"A patrol is coming to inspect. I will intercept.“
Whisper telepathically informed Delorem as she rushed off. Delorem simply replied with a feeling of approval as they continued to tear through the floor.
Soon screams rang out from the other side of the hall. None of the guards stood a chance.
Finally Delorem broke through the floor, allowing themself to fall into the newly made hole, Whisper following them seconds later.
Delorem landed on the floor, just a few meters in front of the unconscious Mars.
„That’s him! He must have made it out of his cell somehow.“
Whisper reached out telepathically: "Guards are down. What is happening on your end?“
„I found him. Let’s get out of this cursed place.“
Delorem rose from the floor and floated back up through the hole.
„Alright, we should have some time until-„
Suddenly, the sound of hundreds of trumpets could be heard, a fanfare to announce the arrival of someone of high status. The empress had returned.
„RUN!“
…
A few minutes later, Lyadria Menumen stood at the hole in the floor of her castle, the man who had brought her the news of her captives escape lying on the ground next to her, his head completely liquified.
Yet, on Lya’s face, there was not a hint of anger, only a sadistic smile.
/uw big thanks to everyone who took part!

I have a pretty good relationship with my mom. We butt heads sometimes but she’s usually pretty reasonable. I’m living with my parents right now because I have a chronic illness and I’m working on getting on my feet and then moving out. I have a mental illness. I’m super healthy and have a bunch of healthy habits. I’m not a toxic person like the stereotype, I just struggle and I make sure to help my parents out as much as I can while I’m here. Just two months ago I was hallucinating so I’m on new medication. It’s working really well and I’m doing good. I go to my bipolar support group, I have a therapist and psychiatrist, I take medication. I’m on my shit bc I have to be. I never take my issues out on my parents.
(I know there will be people who blame me or judge me for having a mental disability so if you are going to do that, please don’t)
My mom has been sober for 30 years. Before that she was a mess, she’s told me intense stories. She’s very much involved with AA. She’s pretty high up there, she does speaker meanings in front of hundreds of people, all her friends are sober, her brother is sober, and she still goes to meetings regularly. Honestly, I am so grateful and proud of her sobriety. I know AA has helped her. I am super proud of her. She helps people. I just think she might need actual therapy instead of just AA work.
The thing is, she thinks everyone is an alcoholic. She can be very harsh sometimes. Ever since I started drinking alcohol as an adult, she has judged me. I definitely don’t have a drinking or drug problem. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month, a couple of glasses of beer or wine that’s it. I don’t even drink liquor. I’m happy with just a couple beers. I haven’t been blacked out since I was a teenager and I can’t remember the last time I had a hangover.
The thing is (which isn’t my main issue there’s more to this story) she literally judges me so hard if I ever drink or she hears about me drinking. We can be at dinner with the family, I’ll order a glass of cab to go with my pasta, and she will give me dirty looks and make comments. I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. The one time I was hungover a long time ago I was vomiting, and she gave me so much grief and was like “wow you drank so much you are sick” and won’t leave me alone. At family functions I’ll have a beer with my cousins and she just vibes me so hard. She treats me like I have a serious drinking problem when I clearly don’t. For 10 years she gets shitty with me if she sees me even have one beer.
Well two days ago I had a great beach day. The beach was empty, my dog and I walked for miles, we ran into an old friend. It was such a good day. I deal with depression a lot so I treasure my good days. I was so sad that my day got ruined because of her.
On the way home I got a tall coors light bc it sounded nice after my beach day. I came home, super happy, talking to my parents, making jokes. I made some food, cleaned up the kitchen, did dishes and went to go to my room. we were walking to our rooms at the same time. As I began to say goodnight to my mom, she turned around, stared at the beer and me and gave me a nasty look. The thing about my mom she often lies, if she says something fucked up and I point it out she will lie . She does these lies and it’s so obvious.
After she gave me that nasty look, I calmly said “I’m 30 years old, I’m allowed to have a beer, don’t judge me”. Then she lied and said I was looking at your glasses. Gaslighting me. I told her, no you weren’t. You gave me a look because I have a beer. She denied it and I said “liar”. She lost her shit. She started saying you’re calling me a liar!!!! And started yelling at me. I stood my ground and said you were lying and I don’t appreciate being treated like that, you gave me a look about my beer. Shehe even admitted it and said that yes I saw you had a tall beer (she said tall as if that means something) and she continued to lie and said I was looking at your glasses too. I retreated to my room bc I didn’t want to have a full blown argument. She followed me.
The thing about my mom, when she is super upset she comes super close to me aggressively, like what people do when they are about to fight.
She came into my room and was yelling at me, saying over and over you called me a liar. She got in my face aggressively. I told her many times to get out of my face. It’s like she was trying to get me to fight her. She kept getting closer and closer until I was up against the wall. I was being rational and saying it’s not okay to treat me like this and she kept mocking me. Over and over, while inches from my face when she had me cornered. She wouldn’t listen and move.
We have a power imbalance in our relationship bc while I recover and get stable, they help me with gas sometimes or things like ordering contacts, or I’ll use it to pick up things for her or stuff like paying when I took her cat to the vet. I pet sit and pay for my bills. She gave me a credit card to keep with me just in case. I barely ever use it, usually just for gas id she says it’s okay. I’ve expressed my gratitude many times that they are helping me, while also sharing how embarassed and ashamed I am to lean on my parents and live at home for now. This hasn’t been how it was forever, I lived alone for 9 years in Northern CA. I just needed time to get more stable and save money, and have a place to live while I go to my appointments.
So she was hysterical freaking out, mocking me and getting aggressive. She all of a sudden yelled give me thee credit card now!! I barely ever use it, I don’t give a fuck about the card, she brought it up to throw the money thing in my face even though she knows how humbling it is for me to rely on them.
I said I’m not giving it to you until you get out of my face. She then grabbed my phone and said fine will your not getting your phone tonight. I said I don’t care about the card and you don’t get to treat me like this. She then ran to her office to cancel the card online. I followed her to get my phone back and got my wallet. She was hysterical yelling at me at her computer, and mocking every single thing I said. She twisted my words around. She also then said “Wow what’s going on with you tonight?” Alluding that I was being mentally ill or unstable, which she knew I wasn’t she just threw the good ol “wow have you taken your meds” to do a low blow about my mental illness. That in itself is so hurtful bc they know how much I’ve struggled with this. I told her I’m not giving you the card until you give me my phone. She got up and cornered me again. She got so close to me aggressively and I just kept telling her to back up. She got me against a wall again. Then she hit me multiple times, and I softly but firmly put my knee up and pushed to get her off me. I threw the card at her desk. I was saying that the card has nothing to do with this, you just brought that up to make me feel bad, you are so toxic, I did nothing wrong. She continued mocking me. I left and went into the bathroom and she finally left. I cried a lot in the shower.
I just treated her to a great Mother’s Day. We had a great time. It made me so sad and so hurtful she treated me like this. It keeps replaying in my head and I can’t believe she got so physical with me and hit me. The mocking, gaslighting, lies. Alluding that I was having an episode… that one hurt a lot. She didn’t say it genuinely she said it as an insult. All over a coors light. Her behavior was so toxic. I am hurt. I can’t believe she hit me.
I want to forgive her but I can’t bring myself to. I really don’t want to talk to her at all. She apologized over text but never in person. I’ve been avoiding her. Tonight, I was in the living room and she turned off the lights , I said don’t turn off the lights I’m in here. She coldly said “I don’t care”.
I need to wait to move out til my meds are stabilized and I saved the money. I’m a good roommate, I help them a lot. I miss living alone.
How do I move on from this? Where do I go from here? What should I say to her?