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Health Insurance

2008.10.24 20:05 Health Insurance

Health insurance in the United States is pretty crazy, and we're here to help you navigate it! SOLICITATION RESULTS IN AN INSTANT AND PERMANENT BAN.
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2009.01.28 09:24 All Things Insurance

All Things Insurance!
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2008.12.22 10:21 Wrestling

A subreddit for Folkstyle, Freestyle and Greco-Roman Wrestling. All ages and levels are welcome.
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2024.06.02 07:15 milkXtea Stuck in a rut with my husband and unsure how to support him going forward

Since we both graduated university 10 years ago, he has been in and out of work while I have been the full-time breadwinner. I don't make a lot but it's enough to get by, although we have to draw from our savings (which we can save when he works) for any unexpected expenses.
Usually the cycle goes: he applies for some unskilled labour job because he's not confident in his skills, gets frustrated feeling he has no time to upskill while working a deadend job, goes into a depressive state that gradually gets worse until he quits his job. Then he'll work on his mental health, start studying his uni major again to try and polish his skills and finally get a job in the industry, but beofre that happens he gets anxious and never applies for a job in the industry, we run out of money, and he applies for some unskilled labour job to make ends meet.
And I can't do it anymore. I'm ready to have kids, I want to work overseas. We need to move forward with our lives. But I can't carry it all on my own.
But at the same time, he thinks if he has to go back to work he'll be giving up on the chance of a fulfilling career forever. I don't want to have to choose between being poor but him being positive for the future, or him working and being completely miserable thinking he'll never have a career.
We've tried having him work part-time so he can upskill but it doesn't seem to make a difference - he doesn't think there's enough time. I've been doing post-grad study part-time and I'm making it work, so I can't understand why he can't.
I'm so close to throwing in the towel but when things are working they work so well. He really just needs a push to get started and launch his career and figure out how to deal with his issues. Or I don't know, find satisfaction in something he's comfortable doing. I can't do it alone though and I don't know what to do. How can we break out of this cycle?
submitted by milkXtea to depression_partners [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 07:11 FennelExpress2383 I’ve really been struggling lately with being able to derive joy from things I usually love

This is cyclical for me. This time it was triggered by a falling out between a few people in a friend group. I had to exert a lot of emotional energy to try to mediate and repair but one party was unable or unwilling to reciprocate. I’ve been pretty socially isolated for a while so it was really devastating for this group of safe people to turn out to be not so safe. This has led to me withdrawing from a lot of other social situations because I’ve just been too anxious and drained to handle it. Which obviously has an adverse effect on my mental health as well. I’m hoping that the relationships I’ve built in the recent months are resilient enough to withstand some withdrawal on my part.
Anyway. It’s hard to get anything done when nothing feels good. Walks, video games, reading, yoga, tea, Diet Coke, writing, hot baths, being in nature… all of those things usually will at least spark some little glimmer of joy (or even just, an at-peace feeling not even joy necessarily) in me but right now it’s like trying to squeeze water out of a rock.
Even my cats cuddling with me feels like nothing :( which just makes me feel guilty and I think me being upset makes them more clingy and then I’m annoyed and guilty for feeling so annoyed at my sweet babies.
Today, the best I felt was when my partner took me on a walk after dark and we saw some bats. Then we went and swung on a swing set at a park. It was nice. Or, as nice as it can be for the state I’m in. I also pulled a heavy pot out of the garage that I want to plant some moon flowers in. I want a moon garden to attract bats and other nighttime pollinators. So, a little victory I guess.
It feels horrible going through the motions of things that should make me feel good and getting nothing. But I’m still making myself stick to a routine because I’m trusting that some hidden part of my brain or body is getting something from it passively and will aid in my healing.
submitted by FennelExpress2383 to CPTSD [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 07:10 EFM12345 Sleeps affect on IQ test

Several years ago I took an iq test (without my knowledge at the time) and scored a 126. The thing about that test was I was in a very bad state and had gotten several days on minimal sleep(less than 4 hours a night). To top it off, I pulled an all nightter directly before the test and it was kinda all a haze. I remember actually falling asleep during a section of this where I was alone in a room reacting to balls changing color or some shit but I was so tired I would fall asleep when I blinked. I my processing speed iq was 84 .Any ways the question is how much would you think this would affect the results?
submitted by EFM12345 to mensa [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 07:06 KngTyrannosaurus ATO Calculator giving $10k tax bill? Not sure what to do (HECS + Novated Lease)

First up, I do have HECS and an FBT exempt vehicle so this is complicated. Also the ATO calculator only has FY22/23 figures so far, but I'll be using FY23/24 therefore it'll be out a little bit (but hopefully not $10k+).
I am forecast to have earned ~120k EOFY (pre salary sacrifice) which includes 34k tax withheld and $18,500 in an FBT-exempt novated lease on an EV. TL;DR: When I calculate my tax bill I owe $740, when the ATO Calculator does it I owe $10,654.50 - which is right?
My calculation:
From what I can gather, I effectively have two assessed incomes. My taxable income, which does not include the salary sacrifice ($120,000 - $18,500 = $101,500), and my Repayment Income (for HECS/Medicare) which involves a correction factor for tax equivalence.
From the ATO, my Reportable Fringe Benefits Amount is 'Grossed up', this benefit has GST (its a car) so the rate is 2.0802. Therefore my RFBA is $18.5k * 2.0802 = $38,483.70. This is then added to my taxable income, so my Repayment Income is $101,500 + $38,483.70 = $139,983.70.
So as I understand it, I therefore have two income figures for tax calculations:
I'll split what I owe into the categories that use each.
In Taxable Income ($101,500) I will owe $20,392.50
In Repayment Income ($139,983.70) I will owe $14,348.32
The sum of my what I owe for Taxable ($20,392.50) and Repayment ($14,348.32) incomes is $34,740. Therefore my tax bill will be Owings ($34,740) - Tax Withheld ($34,000) which is $740.
ATO Calculation:
Putting this same information into the ATO calculator with the following settings yields a tax bill of $10,654.50:
Can anyone help? I'll see an accountant of course but I must be doing something wrong.
submitted by KngTyrannosaurus to AusFinance [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 07:06 Daomoney STOP taking creatine if your eye twitches!

I bought some powered creatine double hydrates on Amazon. Double wood brand. Not sure the brand matters. I lift 4 time a week. Couple of weeks after I started taking it. My eyes starts to twitch non stop. Usually 1 eye. Right eye. Very fast paced twitching. Like all day. To test. I stopped taking it. About Two weeks later, the twitch stopped. But right eye always feels like something is there. ( this whole time I drink protein powder like normal, I’m 100% natty).
To test. I also didn’t want to throw away money and finished it. The twitch started around a week when I got back on protein. And lasted while I finished the can of 1 lb. Regret it. My eye stopped twitching. But just never feel the same anymore. Always something there on the bottom.
I guess everyone is different, every brand is different. If your eye twitch on protein. My suggestion is stop and seek medical help. Nothing worth it. Gym life is trying to be and look health, not to look creepy with a twitchy eye all the time.
submitted by Daomoney to Creatine [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 07:01 631x What questions to ask?

My mom has heavily smoked most of her life. She drank too. She developed a horrendous cough this past winter and chalked it up to a cold. Took her to the Caribbean for her 60th and the cough was still persistent months later. She was supposed to fly in and visit for Memorial Day but cancelled her flight due to extreme pain.. it ended up being kidney stones. She passed one so far.
A few days ago, she went to the ER because of more pain, and they did a CT scan which showed cancer in her lung and it looked like it had spread to her back bones, ribs, and most of her whole left side.
An oncologist scheduled her first appointment for Monday.
My mom currently doesn't have health insurance. She is still in shock and I think has the paperwork to apply for insurance through the state.
All that aside, what are the questions you asked, or forgot to ask, or wish you asked? What should be asked? I started researching and now I'm spiraling with so much to take in. I need some kind of guidance here.
  1. What does genetic testing do?
  2. How do you pick a good oncologist / hospital?
  3. Radiation vs chemo, when and why?
  4. What questions should I be asking?
  5. How does all of this work?
  6. What is the normal process?
  7. ??? I think I'm spiraling again
submitted by 631x to cancer [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 07:00 AuroraScars AITA For How This Relationship Ended?

I (29F) was in a 7/8month relationship last year and I'm just trying to process what the heck happened bc he (25M) made it seem like I'm the asshole and I'd like to know if I am, so I can work on it and not carry it over to future relationships.
It started with a reckless night. I'm studying overseas and he and I met on a d&d discord server. He happened to live where I was going so we planned to meet and he offered to help me with my first day of getting stuff done. We'd been close friends by the 5th month of me being there. I had just ended an online relationship that was overwhelming me and my family was coming to visit so I took him on a fancy night out where I paid as like a thank you in advance for driving me and my family around when they visit thing. After dinner we went to his place and I - now recognise as mistakenly - allowed uh intimate activity bc I was vulnerable and he made the first move. And it just kept happening.
Eventually, he started to ask for more despite me saying that I didn't think I was ready for a relationship. And he pulled out an ultimatum - relationship or nothing. I was torn bc at that point he was my best friend, my closest friend, in a country where I had no family. So I gave in and agreed. He said I have to be willing to do the work on myself and our relationship bc I have a lot of issues. So I promised that I would put in the effort to work on myself and be better.
Now in retrospect, I recognize I was afraid of being abandoned. But at the time, I thought myself in love, and that he cared about my wellbeing so deeply. I mean, he did spend hours listening to me talk about all the pain and trauma I'd experienced. So he must have truly wanted me to heal.
But once we got together, we stopped going on dates. We'd hang out at his place, occasionally meet his friends. I usually didn't go out bc I'm more of a homebody - I enjoyed my private space and doing my solo things. Then things started to bother me.
Like the state of his home - you could barely see the floor, the kitchen was a disaster area. And he didn't even have a proper bed. But I'd acquiesce and make a random comment (not often, just sporadically).
I personally just don't drink bc I don't enjoy it like most people do and I don't enjoy taking care of people who are super drunk (I'll do it anyway bc no one else does it but it actually really bothers me and I kinda hate it)
I like PDA but I don't like extreme proclamations back to back to back.
My ex used to get drunk around his friends and throw affection my way. He had no control over his liquor and every 5 mins would yell out that he loves me. Then he'd get very clingy bc I get uncomfortable in big groups sometimes and I try to hide or get some space. I don't like being touched or kissed by someone who's drunk (or when I'm pissed at someone) and that always bothered him. The overaffection was just overwhelming and he had a body odour thing every time he drank which just made it worse bc my nose is sensitive. It just brewed like a sense of resentment bc I'd communicate it to him and he'd just claim I'm trying to control him but honestly, I'm just trying to tell you that it doesn't make me feel good and maybe it can be a thing you do without me around.
And everything started piling up and I was pissed but I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I know I was overwhelmed and I just needed to sort through the things to try and give myself perspective and decide if I was overreacting or if I had legitimate things to be mad about. But he kept badgering me over and over and over while I was still mad. And I tried to not explode (successfully) but he started getting mad at me when I had explicitly told him I'm not ready to talk about it.
(I can't remember specifically what happened after, but we had a big fight. A very big fight. And he wanted to pull the plug. All because I wasn't ready to talk about it bc I didn't want to fight over what could potentially be nothing)
Eventually, he forgave me when I apologized for... well I don't remember what I apologized for. And we were good. I made sure to cook food that he could pack and take to work if he was staying over. Helped him plan some finances. We talked about how the next year or so would go. I had a little mental health struggle but he urged me to see a doctor and such and asked me to get on birth control.
There was then, an incident, totally not his fault. We both got carried away. I had to be celibate for a month and we got heated and when he almost broke the celibacy, I had a breakdown. I didnt know that would be a trigger, but he went on a shame spiral and started getting upset with himself so I consoled him. And we were okay. Didn't really speak about it again after that.
He had arranged for me to join an in person d&d campaign with his friends and I had a hard time keeping up bc I had classes and assignments so I had to miss a few sessions. When I got there and played a session, I did something wrong and everyone - including him - were upset with me. I apologised for it and said I wouldn't repeat that. Two weeks later, we had the next session and his friends kept making comments about the previous session throughout the 4 hours we were playing and... it started to get to me. I lashed out and told them to build a bridge and get over it.
When my ex was dropping me home, I expressed that I didn't like being treated like that, my friends don't do that to me. And he got mad at me bc he said and I quote "You're not taking responsibility for what you did. They've made fun of so many embarrassing things I've done, you don't see me getting affected by it". I didnt immediately respond (also bc I don't remember what I said) I do remember thinking "You can accept that kind of abuse from your friends if you want to, it doesn't mean I have to". When I got out of the car, I just said I am upset but I love you and I'm really tired. I didnt give him a kiss that night.
(For context, that was a Friday night. He had spent the entire week at my place bc he was sick and didn't want to be alone so I was taking care of him and feeding him)
On Saturday (3 days before my lease ended and we'd agreed I would move in with him temporarily), he asked how my house hunting was going. I told him the market is crappy rn and I can't find a decent place but I'm trying to. He said you really need to focus on that right now. I told him I am and I'll update you if there's a place, I love you. And he couldn't say it back so he said we need to talk.
He said I told many small white lies (example: I cut my finger, I ask for a tissue - bc bleeding - he asks if I'm bleeding, I say no) and it was overwhelming him and exhausting him. He said he knew its bc of how I grew up but he had mentioned it before (I don't remember if he did but he could have and I forgot) and I didn't work on it like I was supposed to.
He said ( based on the argument on Friday about the d&d game ) that I didn't take accountability for my actions and he couldn't trust me bc it showed that I was an untrustworthy person.
I said let's sit together and talk about this, these are things I can work on, we can tackle them as a couple and talk through them.
He then said I just don't love you anymore. I've talked to my family and friends and I think I mistook what I felt for you and thought it was love.
I tried to fight for him but I knew that I can't make someone love me so I was heartbroken, almost homeless (if not for some friends that had a spare room) and I had an exam in 2 weeks.
He said there's no good time to break up with someone and I didnt wanna drag it out (which I suppose was his form of mercy)
Its taken a year to process... for me bc he blocked me from everything after I returned his stuff. And it made me feel like the asshole? Then I rationalised that I did everything I possibly could, but did I? Maybe I didn't address his needs well enough? Maybe I didn't listen to his concerns enough? Maybe there's more I could have done to make him feel secure or sure? Maybe I was too headstrong and it overshadowed him?
I keep going round and round about it in my head. My therapist says it wasn't a loving and caring relationship. But like I remember a time when it was? But I also remember feeling so exhausted by it. Was it my fault? Am I the asshole? What could I have done better?
submitted by AuroraScars to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:58 Upstairs_Plane_8266 AITAH or is it my parents?

sorry this is long. For context, I am 29 years old and have been dating my boyfriend (now fiancé) for 5 years. I have been wanting to move in for about 2 years but have held off due to the fear of my very controlling parents. There are a lot of positives to moving in and I have been staying at my fiancé's house on and off a couple days at a time- for years. Recently I have had a health condition that developed and I needed some extra support and have been staying over for a month. I wanted to wait to move in a couple months after our engagement so my parents could have some time to feel like we didn't just get engaged to move in with each other, but this new health scare has kinda put it into perspective for me and it now just makes more sense for us to do what we want to be happy.
For background my parents are from Central America with a lot of culture and religious beliefs. They raised us ( I have an older sister) to be christian (baptist) and fairly conservative with our upbringing- so to them this is an ultimate sin (besides getting pregnant before marriage and other religious stuff like that). I have really lived my entire life for them, doing what they want and have been a people pleaser because of it. My mom has narcissistic tendencies and I see a lot of the toxic as I grow older and have my own opinions and beliefs.
here are just some conditions they put on my fiancé to propose to me ( which he replied, he'd happily do whatever I wanted):
I honestly can't remember them all. and after I got engaged my mother said she "approved an engagement but not a wedding" *sigh*
So, I got the courage to finally do what I want and wrote a very respectful letter to my parents, asked them to meet with me and drove down with my fiancé (they live 3 hours away) to talk to them. They refused to speak to my fiancé because they wanted to speak to me alone, and that already had put me with a lot of stress because I wanted his support ( also as a secondary listener) to what my parents were saying to not be gaslit or anything. They say that my fiancé is not part of the family so he should not be involved ( mind you my sister had dated her husband for 10 years and they are now married...and they still say he is NOT FAMILY). My letter basically stated this is what I think is best for me at this stage in my life, I am not necessarily asking for their permission but I hope they can support me or at least respect it. That I know we have different beliefs and values and I understand their frustrations but I dont want to wait to live my authentic happy life.
also important to note: my mom has stated previously that I could live my life when they are dead *sigh*
anyways...clearly I feel like everyone knew that it wouldn't go great. and it didn't. I do think that we had an OK conversation and no one was yelling, we didn't agree and left it as that..and I left.
I woke up to this email (translated from Spanish):
----
“We just want to inform you about what we have decided based on your decision to move in with [fiancé] 1-Not only is it a great dissapointment for us your decision but more important it is a deep pain for both of us because we have based our life on raising them with good principles, morals, but above all obedience to God and what voice you plan to do is unpleasant in the eyes of God. 2-your dad says that if in the future you marry [ Fiancé name], he won’t deliver you like he did with your sister. 3- It makes me very sad that you use me as an excuse for what happened at your sisters wedding that were normal disagreements that were fixed But you only remember the negative. 4-economically you will no longer be helped, the goal of helping you is that you are not yet economically independent and that you do not feel the Pressure of Economically and that you didn’t feel the Move with someone on the roof, food, etc. to have a home with your parents. Your car insurance ends today, your phone line will be given to you until June so that you can transfer your data and information but by July we are going to disconnect your phone. 5-For holidays or when you want to come, you can come alone if you want, we don’t want to see [Fiancé name] because as a gentleman he is under the status of taken advantage of, and fake because if we had known that his intention was to move with you we would never have agreed to the commitment, he lied to us and deceived us. I don’t respect our values. Your dad says that we are not going to see you too, if you want you can come alone, and let us know when you are going to come. It is important that you know all this before you make the decision to go live with him and put yourself in a vulnerable situation. Think and meditate on everything well, so that later you don’t regret, a man’s manipulation towards a woman can be subtle but it is always manipulation.”
-----
there's a lot to unpack here, and well with my sisters wedding it was defiantly not normal disagreements: my mom called her ugly, refused to walk down with certain people, berated her and stated she was marrying into "that family" and pretty much traumatized me of weddings ...but this post isn't about my sisters experience.
I am able to financially support myself ( they have just always offered) so I never felt like it wasn't an issue. Moving in would help with saving money for medical school, wedding etc. but its not the only reason we want to take this next step.
I have been basically left with the choice to either move in with my fiancé and my parents cut us off and my dad doesn't walk me down the aisle ( most hurtful part). or I don't move in, but the damage is done with my fiancé, and this will enable them to treat me poorly and think that they can control me for the rest of my life.
its always been hard for me to distinguish the toxic and abusive patterns of my parents because I am first generation American and that guilt alone is wild, as well as I know what my parents have sacrificed and came from to give me a better life. But this letter feels like they are willing to just cut ties for 1 decision I am making... and friends have asked why don't we just get married...my parents also said they won't approve a fast wedding and well...they don't want me married until after med school (5 years down the line).
so it really comes down to: can I live with myself if I cut my parents off? and I just don't know. AITAH or is it them?
submitted by Upstairs_Plane_8266 to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:58 Noir888 Mafia suggestion

I hope the devs will see this one, IMO the mafia update is one of the best updates for the game but in its current state, its severely lacking.
Add illegal business
The crimes tab is bit of lacking as of now, and the way the "ranks" within a mafia family are partaking in those illicit activities are kinda awkward, Caporegimes stealing cars? the Godfather personally extorting a business? that's unrealistic, I suggest that "wet work" types of crimes should only be reserved for the associates and the soldiers, while the the Caporegimes can start or set up illegal business', like the following:
In setting those business' up, a legal front will be needed (lesser profit but reduces heat from the police/feds) or you can have the option to secretly operate those business' (bigger profit but attracts more attention from the police/feds).
Second, the Capos can set up the business' independently or the higher ups orders a certain business to be operated.
Third, a maximum of 5 business' should only be allowed for each Capo (if the player Capo has 5 gambling dens but the higher ups wants to set up a drug trafficking business, one of the gambling dens should be demolished.)
Fourth, the generating income for the player Capo from those business will be similar to how the family takes cuts from the crimes tabs
Fifth, a maximum of only 3 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) capos for a mafia family and 5 (+1 if you reach the Capo rank) Capos for the Sicilian Mafia.
Sixth, each business will have varying "sizes", for example before you can set up the business you have to choose how big the operation would be, a small gambling den? a large drug trafficking ring? and each "sizes" will correspond to generated profit, a small gambling den will generate less profit compared to medium size one etc. and each "size" will also generate "heat" for your character Capo, the smaller the operation the lesser "heat" generated.
Lastly, like I said in the beginning, the associates & soldiers, each of them will be assigned in to a Capo, and the Capo can delegate "wet work" types of crimes for each of them.
Rank Options:
Associates
The typical stuff from the crime tabs:
Associates should never perform hits, this should be reserved for his/her "initiation"
They will also get random orders from a made guy (not necessarily from a Capo.)
Salary: similar to how the players take a cut from performing crimes
Soldiers
Aside from the typical stuff, the Soldiers should be able to have "perform a hit" crime in the crimes tab, it can only be done thrice a year and each hit will be difficult than the last, it has high chance of getting caught but if successful it will improve your standing within the mob by a large degree (the payout should also be good, no pay cuts you take the full amount of the money being rewarded)
Salary: similar to how the players take a cut from performing crimes and if successfully performed a hit, he/she will receive huge sums of money and his/her standing within the family will exponentially increase.
Caporegimes
Salary: takes a cut from the illegal business
They will also get a random orders from the Underboss or rarely from the godfathegodmother.
Underboss
In the mob, the Underboss is sometimes called the streetboss, because they oversee the entirety of the operations of the mob on a daily basis, he directly reports to the boss/godfather, so basing on that, the following options should be added into the game
Salary per year: 5 to 7 million
The GodfatheGodmother
Salary per year: 65% of annual earnings of the family (I.e the family earned 15 million during a year, 65% of the earnings will be your salary)
Day job
This option should be included, this will also be a good way to avoid police attention in-game or decrease your "heat", its awkward to see a unemployed schlep making millions of dollars every year and not get caught by the IRS or something lmao,
"Heat" system
For every crime you commit there a corresponding level of heat added to the character's overall "heat", the more serious the crime the more likely the police/feds will target you
Bodyguard system
As I observed in the game, you can easily whack anyone in your family, this should not be, by adding bodyguards, the chances of your success will decrease exponentially
The "put a contract" option should only be available for the the godfathegodmother
The only sure-fire way to "whack" a family member is using the "put a contract" tab, the bodyguard system will not be in effect, because as the Godfather, every family member would obey you no question.
Mafia Wars
During a mafia war, business will generate lesser profits (or will even close down), the heat from the police will be much higher & funds will quickly diminish.
There will be only two ways to win a mafia war depending on the justification you chose, these will be:
Eliminate Competition
Take over their Business
If you win the "eliminate competion" option, your family will receive 500 million cash, your illegal business' will triple their profits, consequences are the police will now target your family more (double the sting operations, more rats popping up etc), seeing that your organization is now the most powerful mafia family in the city.
If you win the "take over their business" option, your illegal business will triple their profits, the rival family will be weakened, the police will be more wary of your crime family there's a big chance of rats & stings operations.
If other Crime Families sided with you during the war & you won, you will have to compensate them for 40 million
Ways to lose a mafia war
Consequences for losing the war, you will be removed from being the boss or outright be killed by your rivals.
Some Factors in winning a Mafia War
Character interactions
Your family and friends should be wary of you being a mobster, for example, you mother or sister found out that your character is actually a mafia soldier, this will make them disown you, your relationships with them will instantly go to 0 & your happiness will also take a dive.
And the interactions within the mafia family should follow the hierarchy (For example, no associate should be able to directly access the GodfatheGodmother and ask him/her out to go and watch a concert of Lady Gaga lol)
Random Events
Random events should be according to your rank, for example, you're the current Mafia Godfather random events should be in line to your rank, a random guy suddenly insults you on the streets, there should be an option like putting a contract on his/her life or have your soldiers whack him/her or a celebrity starting a "beef" with you, you can either order your men to kill him or just order them beat him up.
Rival Gangs
If you choose to be in the Italian Mafia, your rivals should be the other gangs like Russian Mafia, Yakuza, Triad, Lating Mafia etc and If you're in Sicily, the rival family will be another Sicilian Mafia (i.e You're family is the Visconti Family your rivals will be another Sicilian family)
There should be also family rankings, for example, the Italian Mafia is the current most powerful crime syndicate in the city, followed by the Russian Mafia, followed by the Latin Mafia etc the rankings can change yearly depending on how much muscle (number of soldiers) & income of the families earn, you can also be the most powerful crime family for 10 years if you won a mafia war. If you choose to start a Mafia War the other families can join sides, for example the Italian Mafia waged a war against the Yakuza, the other families will join which side they want, or if you formed an alliance with another mafia family, they will side with you during the war no matter what.
So what do you guys think? You guys can add more of your ideas here.
submitted by Noir888 to BitLifeApp [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:55 mikeramp72 Endgame #10

10th: Jessica “Sugar” Kiper 1.0 (Gabon - 3rd)

oh yeah, jessica kiper from gilmore girls
u/SMC0629:
Sugar has had such a weird history when it comes to her reception among the fandom. It feels like she either didn't get the respect she deserved, or was super misunderstood. I think she has one of the best journeys throughout the entire show, it's almost unparalleled. She goes from being a seemingly insignificant member of Kota, to becoming so much more scrappy on Fang, showing her truly entertaining personality and how she doesn't take shit from anyone. She's even pretty intelligent, and reads people well, something that is CRUCICAL throughout the season in terms of the strategy. I also really appreciate how the show doesn't shy away from showing her emotional moments, as someone who is the same way I think it's super relatable. She's also just got so many quotables, it's ridiculous, even more than Crystal if you ask me. All in all, a near-perfect character who goes toe to toe with Randy in terms of being my favorite on Gabon.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
Like with Shane, I really wonder how Sugar passed her psyche evaluation to make the cast, but I’m so grateful she did. Sugar is contention for having one of the best stories of all time, filled with religious metaphor, deep story moments, and just plain old simple “fucking hilarious scenes”. Sugar simultaneously gives too many fucks and not enough fucks at any given point, and she’s able to balance both mindsets at any point to a literal perfect degree.
I’ve seen some takes that praise Sugar for single-handedly making the narrative of Gabon about herself, and while I do think the story does revolve around her, I do want to pushback just ever so slightly since I think there is sometimes a soft implication that Sugar might be acting. I think it sometimes is not acknowledged how fragile of a state Sugar really was in this game and how truly emotionally devastating the events of the game were. It’s especially notable in her relationships this game with Ace, Kenny, and Bob, and how tight she is with all three of them and how betrayed she ends up feeling by the first two. There is just a natural spontaneous energy within her as she wrestles with her actions and what she needs to do to make peace with herself and it’s just so engaging.
u/Schroeswald had an amazing write-up that I recommend everyone read when you all get the chance. I’d love to add my own deeper thoughts on her as well, but I’ll just leave it at this for now. So glad she made it back to Endgame.
Overall Rank - 11/821 ~
u/Zanthosus:
I’m not the biggest fan of Gabon. I’ve made that clear throughout the rankdown. But one thing I will say about the season is that Sugar is absolutely incredible and singlehandedly saves the entire thing from being an overly negative and pessimistic slog. She wears her heart on her sleeve, plays with her emotions first, and creates a lot of fun chaos both intentionally and by accident. She’s spectacular. Simple as that.
~
u/Regnisyak1:
Sugar, Sugar! Sugar is a woman of many characters, but more importantly the main character of Gabon. Sugar’s emotional outbursts can be a lot, but I think they are tied very nicely to the story about her playing for her father, and it creates a variable season like Gabon that thrives off of its emotions and allows people to be themselves. Her relationships with Crystal, Bob, Matty, and Ace were incredible, and the pin-up model, one that would expect to be underestimated, eventually ran the season like the Marines, though in a chaotic way to the end. Love her, when I rewatched Gabon she flew to my endgame.
Personal Rank: 13/821. 10/10.
~
u/ninjedi1:
Sugar is unique, as there is multiple ways to look at her story. She could be the girl out there dealing with her emotions and managed to grow as a person, someone who was dragged along and once had power abused it to get her way, or many others. No matter what way you choose to interpret Sugar, there's something interesting about each perspective of her and is another person that helps make Gabon as great of a season as it is.
~~~~~
Tommyroxs45:
Sugar Kiper 1.0:
Sugar, a substance often known as sweet, good to the taste, bad for the health. Does sugar taste good in the moment? Yeah, but overtime it rots the teeth, becoming a negative presence on your life. Had good intentions and felt good but too much hurts.
You know exactly who this definition also applies to… Sugar Kiper.
Sugar has one of the top 3 best stories in the history of Survivor. Period. Paragraph. Her complete control of the game, while being a complete mess made for some of the most complex emotional gameplay ever seen on the show. Every single person she interacted with, had a relationship with her and usually was betrayed by her due to her emotions getting in the way of her gameplay, and I absolutely love it.
At the start, she's just seen as this pin-up girl, but as the game goes on, she becomes more and more wrecked with her emotions and doesn’t even play for herself. She wants to play the hero, by letting all of the good guys get to the end while blowing up her own game, but when she tries to play hero we get everyone else seeing her as “evil”. Becoming one of the most emotional and well told stories of the downfall of a person who was ultimately grieving and trying to play to help others.
We almost never see a hero get a downfall arc, because what is there to give, they are the selfless ones they should always be on the rise. But the great thing about Gabon, is that when someone is a hero, everyone else sees them as a villain because everyone is the villain and they feed off each other.
She throws everything away, her relationships, her game, and even her morals to make sure that the bad guys don’t win and someone she likes does. She will do anything to let that happen. And what makes it so tragic is that she doesn’t get rewarded for it ultimately, she is panned and driven to breakdowns over the feelings everyone else has for her. She was trying to make everyone feel good but it doesn’t work out because of the way she does it, and it’s a dark story but it’s what makes her so amazing.
This is present all throughout her story allowing for her to build as she goes, making it so deep. With her idol find on Exile Island and then her relationship and eventual betrayal of Ace. The premerge does a great job of setting her up, while not having a particular breakout moment. We see how her emotions and grief are impacting her and how it just gets worse and worse as the game goes on. While her story and overall memorability ultimately ramps up a lot at the merge. The premerge sets up a really good tone for the post merge portion to follow.
You can tell she has such good intentions and a big heart but just doesn’t know how to show it and is struggling with grief at the same time. She wants to be loved, and give everyone else the best chance they can get and have an optimal outcome but she can’t do that without pissing everyone off. You know it’s not coming from a place of malice, while her comments towards people like Corinne, Randy, and Crystal were negative, they weren’t wrong, they were bullies, and she called them out on it and sent them home so the nice people like Susie, Bob, and Matty could all get to the end.
That’s what makes her rivalries with these people so legendary, especially Randy obviously. While she has great dynamics with everyone on the season, and we see them explored to their fullest potential, by far her most notable ones are with 6 people, YES 6 PEOPLE! That’s how damn good her influence is that she single handedly in a key point in 6 peoples stories. (7 if you include Ace pre merge)…
Bob, Matty, Kenny, Crystal, Corinne, and Randy. So much of these people’s stories revolve around Sugar and her antics. Every single one of them is legendary, through either her grief, her quips, her heart, or her strategy she makes these stories what they are, none of these people would be the same without her.
Bob:
Bob and Sugar’s relationship is the seasons close. Her seeing him as her father, after her father had just passed before she came out, is such an impactful and honestly kind of beautiful storyline. It’s riddled with darkness but you see a light there, that she sees him in that light and throws away everything to pave the way for him to win and take control over his moves so he could win in the end. I’ll go into this moment later but one of my favorite scenes in the whole show is when Sugar is about to cry as her vote for Matty is read at the final four vote. It’s just perfect.
Matty:
Another one of the good guys just like Bob. They were close out there and you could see a family bond growing between them. Like brother and sister, and they dictated so much of the game together when Crystal and Kenny started to be too big for their britches. Her having to vote him out at the final four vote is tragic, powerful, beautiful, and symbolic of everything Sugar had done up to that point. You can feel her heart being cut in half after Matty loses, it’s like choosing between her father or her brother, and she completely breaks. The music in the background as Matty loses, knowing it was at the hands of Sugar, someone who he thought he could count on as a best friend and wouldn’t hurt him like that, it’s definitely in my top 10 favorite scenes of Survivor. It just sums up the season in a more impactful way than I have seen anything ever do prior or since.
Kenny:
Ah Kenny, what’s there to say about Kenny and Sugar. Their relationship is complicated, and that is probably an understatement, but damn is it good. Ken in a way, manipulates Sugar, often in her head about what to do and trying to play for the underdog. She knows what he is trying to do, but her heart won’t let her break away from it until the final 6 where she puts her foot down and flips on them. She realizes he’s a villain but doesn’t want to break his heart until he just gets too powerful to where he’s interrupting her journey, her path, her game to make the good guys win, and she can’t have that happen.
Her idol play was more of an act rather than a play. She wanted everyone to see that Kenny was evil and that she was doing this for the greater good. Now did everyone else see it like that, no, and that’s what makes it so great, she has great intentions, but it just doesn’t come off that way. Kenny is ultimately left heart broken and felt entitled to her heart, and for her to take that away from him left him pissed. To where we get a very funny one on one end but also a very telling jury speech from Kenny explaining his feelings for Sugar and how she took away his heart.
Crystal:
Sugar is the reason for Crystal’s downfall. Her relationship with Kenny just got too big for the game and were intruding on Sugar’s perfect story of getting the good guys to the end. Her jury speech to Sugar also represents Sugar’s mishandling of her emotions and calling out Crystal as a bully did not help that. Crystal was somebody on Sugar’s side and laughed with her at Randy’s misfortunes, being turned on definitely left a bad taste in her mouth, just crumbling Sugar’s mental state further and further. Showing how she’s pushing away everybody, even the ones who she aligned with and kept with, because of her motive and her grief.
Corinne:
Before I start I just want to say, fuck Corinne. Okay, now that is out of the way, Corinne is actually really good for Sugar’s story. Corinne is a bitch, a bully, and a terrible person, no bullshit, that’s who she is. However, she really plays up Sugar’s role on the season, being this opposition to her and everything she does. Someone who just has pure hate at the heart that owns it. She underestimates Sugar, until Sugar flips the game on its head for her and is all “woe is me!!” It’s really funny. She falls at the hands of Sugar and it is oh so satisfying.
Of course though what else could I bring up other than her jury speech. It’s awful towards Sugar, and one of the worst things ever said to somebody on the show. However, it really sums up Sugar’s story, with everyone’s opinions on her, her emotions, and her heart just trying to be full while being stomped on at every corner. I hate it as a moment for Corinne but as a moment for Sugar, it’s really works and is a dark way to bring Sugar’s story to a close but it was the only way that was gonna close.
Randy:
This is THE relationship of the season. Their rivalry is one of the most iconic of all time. It’s a lot like Jane and Marty where they just hate each other, do anything to bring out the worst in each other, and do not hold any personal punches back. Randy’s boot episode is in my top 10 favorite episodes of all time because of these two. The auction shenanigans where Randy gets pissed because of Sugar. Then, she tells Bob to give Randy the fake idol, and then laughs after Randy plays it. It is the funniest episode of all time and it’s not close.
They are so iconic together, it’s why Gabon is looked at the way it is today, because of these two and their relationship, or lack thereof. I mostly adore it for entertainment reasons but it also greatly lifts up both of their stories as well. Randy is a grumpy old man who has very little in his life and just spews his hatred out on others, and Sugar doesn’t see it as a lonely old man, she sees him as a complete asshole and someone who just has too much pure vile for no reason. He plays up her role of the “protector” and she plays up his role as “the old ass”. It works perfectly for the season both from a story perspective and especially an entertainment perspective, it’s T.V GOLD!
Sugar’s Final Tribal
I mentioned it previously, but her final tribal is the summation of her character and all the things she did during the game. She has a huge heart and is struggling so much with her emotions and breakdowns, to where this is just the huge snowball crashing into the tree. She is absolutely panned and it’s tragic, dark, but the perfect and most satisfying way to end her story. She is mentally broken at this point being out there for 39 days and just to be beaten down again and again for her chaos even if she had the heart behind it. It's sad but it’s serious and the way it should end.
Final Thoughts
Sugar is an absolutely phenomenal character. Her struggle with grief vs emotions vs game is an iconic story that has never been done as well ever in the history of the show. She genuinely has no faults as a character and has so many of the iconic moments that make Gabon what it is. She has such a sweet soul but it became damaging overtime as too much of her antics intruded on others peoples games.
In any other season, Sugar would be loved, and appreciated and supported, but in Gabon she’s hated and that’s why her dynamics are what make Sugar, Sugar! She works off everybody around her perfectly making some of the most iconic storylines ever seen. She’s such a deep and complex person that anybody that she interacts with is automatically made into a great story because she just has these relationships that feed into her emotions and her grief that are shown and told fantastically by the edit.
I adore Sugar, she is easily in my top 10 of all time and will always be there. She has a story unparalleled by anyone else and for that, I appreciate both her and the edit for being able to pull off one of the best stories of all time. Just like sugar, Sugar is a sweet character but one that has side effects but I still love her anyways.
SMC0629: 12
DryBonesKing: 10
Zanthosus: 8
Tommyroxs45: 5
Regnisyak1: 10
DavidW1208: 17
ninjedi1: 14
Average Placement: 10.857
Total Points: 76
Standard Deviation: 3.394 (5th Lowest)
Won Tiebreaker
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2024.06.02 06:51 chocolatecauldrons Part II: The Anthology - An Analysis of Each Track

Thank you guys for all your nice comments on my previous post! Here's my followup post walking through the anthology - I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to sit with this half of the album a bit longer. This analysis will be slightly different: first I’ll go through themes present throughout the anthology, and then walk through each song individually, since it’s not as consecutive of a story as the first album. As with my first analysis, I tend to also stay away from literal details as proof that a song is about a certain subject or muse – to me, it’s easier to understand the album when you think first about what the song’s overarching meaning is, rather than getting caught up in literal details (and I think Taylor often throws these in as red herrings). Moreover, it’s important to note that it’s likely that the literal detail she’s thrown in is one that only she and the muse will understand (i.e. her referencing a lilac skirt in imgonnagetyouback is unlikely to be one we’ve ever seen her wearing in public, so it’s useless to paternity test based on that detail!).
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
​​thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to ​​thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)
submitted by chocolatecauldrons to TaylorSwift [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:51 futurebannedacct Choices

Choices
Hello, everyone. I'm out of my hibernation with another important message for you all and I know that just makes you so fucking happy and excited.
I wanted to remind everyone to check out my blog, which is one of the last bastions of free speech that is left in this god-forsaken place.
Alright, now that I have officially tongued my own asshole to the point where pleasure turns to dysphoria, allow me to present to you: total bullshit!
... and some other things.
Let's talk about choices. We make them everyday; life is all about them. This is a somewhat true statement - because life is really all about making sure you don't wake up - and choices play a significant role in this operation. Probably not so big a role as language, however, because language is the most deceptive tool in the arsenal of the ones with the power, so it is important that we choose our words wisely.
For example, I keep hearing the phrase "forced vaccinations" or "mandatory vaccinations" being thrown around conspiracy forums, and this phrase, in itself, is an example of the deceptive power of words. We need to be honest with ourselves - because through honesty the truth is exposed - and the truth is the most well hidden part of this experience because the ones in power work to keep the truth hidden at all costs... because the truth will "set you free". But I digress. No one was forced to get vaccinated - not yet, anyway - so let's be honest about this: you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to keep your job, or you might have chosen to take the jab, in order to participate in society. This is a choice that you are making. Perhaps the stakes are high and you had a lot to lose if you chose not to take the jab; but until they are breaking down your door, holding you down, and sticking that needle in your arm - until that time - you are giving your consent to take the jab.
This distinction is an important one to discern because we should be paying attention to the parts in life that are forced upon us and the parts in life that we are choosing to consent to. For example, no one forced us to wear masks for an entire year, but we all (for the most part) consented to doing so, in order to participate in society. We all chose to stand on the circles on the floor, in every checkout line, of every store. We made this choice for many different reasons - but in this community - many of us simply did this for other peoples "perceived well being". In other words, we were catering to the people that make up the majority and aren't as far along in the process of "waking up" as we are... although, many people seem to be choosing to remain asleep - for many different reasons - far from the most insignificant being "fear based programming".
Allow me to share my perspective: for an entire year, we all wore masks in public: an action which is gradually weakening our immune system. Also in public, we practiced "social-distancing": an action that is also gradually weakening our immune systems. Many people - the drooling masses - took this social-distancing b.s. very seriously, for their own "perceived well being" (while virtue-signaling online that they were doing it for everyone else). So, the government asked us to all make a choice: to wear masks and social-distance for a year and - oh - almost forgot! Hand sanitizer - all over, suddenly - some so strong that it seems to be pure rubbing alcohol - killing all germs - and, well... gradually weakening our immune systems! The government had us all compromising our immune systems and overall health, in preparation to get vaccinated with something that sounds... frankly, batshit insane. Do you think this was all an accident? An innocent faux-pas on the part of our dear leaders? I think this was done intentionally. I've also prepared this meme, to help illustrate the conspiracy in question:
​
The inspiration for this actually came from a post in that was written by someone who is, by no means, an anti-vaxxer, and overall still happy to be vaccinated... because the debilitating side-effects, self-replicating spike proteins is nothing compared to the constant onslaught of fear-based programming.
"Trust the science". That's the last thing I think I'll do; thank you very much. Science is a bullshit factory specializing in limiting beliefs, which uses language to support any point of view that it chooses to support... and of course the point of view we are inundated with, in excess, is that of the ones in power. So please know that if you choose to educate me in the comments, about why the science behind social distancing, face masks and hand sanitizer is to our benefit then I'm either going to think you are being intentionally deceitful, or I will feel sorry for you because you have sincerely become this invested in the wrong direction of practices that are to your benefit.
The moral of the story is that the words we use need to be chosen carefully, because when we choose words such as "forced" and "mandated", we are only working to deceive ourselves further away from the truth. The truth is that we are consistently bombarded with propaganda and manipulation, from the many resources available to the power structure, with the goal of getting our consent. The internet has been a great resource for the power structure to use for minimizing the power of consent. We must constantly "agree" to the terms and conditions that are made to be intentionally agonizing to read and understand. We are being trained to believe that consent is of little value or importance - consent is nothing more than a single click - in order to get to the prize on the other side. The truth may be that our consent is far more valuable than we realize: our consent is one of our most valuable assets.
We need to pay attention to the effect that our consent has on our shared reality - because if there is one thing I learned, after experiencing psychosis - it's that the greatest sin is often committed by very kind people: the kind of people who are timid, helpful, and generous to a point where others take advantage of their kind, benevolent nature. Everyone knows someone who is in a relationship with a manipulative, controlling narcissist that walks all over them. Everyone knows someone who is kind, meek, and respectful of others... because they have no backbone. Someone who has lived a life of avoiding any and all conflict, at all costs, and chooses instead to allow others to take advantage of them. When you habitually allow others to walk all over you, this is your consent that "it's ok for others to do this to me". You are a worse person that the one who is violating you, because you think that it is ok for this to happen to you.
Alright - that was just to set the mood for the actual post - which will begin..... ........ ......... now.
CHOICES: PATRIOTIC EDITION
In the spirit of (shudder) "the most free country on Earth" we're going to (I had a bad reaction to typing that just now, I find the idea to be suffocating and repulsive) talk about choices in red, white and blue. To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about topics like "color programming", or the exact science and reasoning behind it; I just know that this color palette is used with enough frequency and in a way where there is likely some intent behind it. Perhaps it's as simple as feeling patriotic about democracy, constitutional rights, and other deceptive concepts that are total bullshit - or maybe - the meaning behind it goes far deeper, into the psychological manipulation that is induced by this particular color palette. When I saw that the magnet shared the same red/blue color palette, I realized that these colors are likely being used in order to put each individual into a state of polarization.
CHOICE # 1
Games are fun. Games are based in conflict. Manufacturing reality by making conflict the biggest source for entertainment.
Being alive involves the near constant activity of making choices. We are indoctrinated with the idea that having more choices is desirable. The power construct that is manufacturing reality has recently gone into overdrive in the manufacturing of choices. As the information age progresses through time, the amount of choices is becoming an ever increasing burden on the collective consciousness. The choices are presented using many different angles. A popular example is beliefs, which are currently being exploited by the manufacturers of choices more than any other time in the collective memory... which is always followed closely by the collective amnesia. Choices are deeply rooted in the DIVIDE AND CONQUER strategy, an all time favorite of the power construct. Choices are now being utilized in another favorite strategy for maintaining control: ORDER OUT OF CHAOS. Choices have an important role in the MANUFACTURING OF CONSENT, which is highly valued by the power construct. Consent is the oil that keeps the reality machine running smoothly, which is why so much effort is put into the illusion that consent has very little value. This illusion is concealed very well within the fabric of the intangible idea of reality that is overlaying the physical, material reality and has been so successful that consent is given almost instantaneously and without a second thought. Meanwhile, the illusion of value that has been given to currency is as strong as ever: remaining in its long-held position as one of the "pillars of control", which supports and maintains the power construct. The other pillar of control: the illusion of legitimacy, which several institutions within the power construct rely on, has been under maintenance, as a new version is being installed. While the anticipation for this new update slowly builds, the grand master illusion behind the power construct: FEAR BASED PROGRAMMING, - that's it - I'm giving up on this now. They're fucking plastic robots that hit each other until one of their heads... pops a boner?
CHOICE # 2
A theme that seems to always accompany color-based choices emerges: everyone on the outside, looking in, sees an absolutely pointless rivalry. These dudes are victims of mind control.
Well, after choice # 1 resulted in a train wreck of disjointed abstractions trying way too hard to be deep, meaningful observations, I am troubled by the thought of how many readers have probably given up on this. I want everyone that is still with me to know that, due to irrational fears about what anonymous online profiles might think about me, I will now focus primarily on "fitting in" and being likeable, by employing a strategy of trying very hard to not express any more ideas that might be considered "out there". Obviously, this is just the result of growing up poor and uneducated in the ghetto. I mean, who is crazy enough to actually believe that this is somehow connected to other rivalry's that use... very similar hues of red and blue. I mean, they are two of the most popular colors out there - both primary - and... realistically, there aren't that many colors; especially that complement each other like red and blue... ahh, blue and red: the colors of rivalry. There's no deep conspiracy here. Obviously, these guys wear these colors so they know who their enemies are... because, otherwise, there is no reason to kill each other. This is all about the colors. It would be completely pointless otherwise and these guys would probably get on well and hang out in each other's back yards... and then the cops would have nothing to do, which would be a waste of tax payer dollars. Can't have cops just standing around eatin' donuts and getting fat.
CHOICE # 3
Coke & Pepsi. A classic rivalry that makes me proud to live in a free country, where great ideas like capitalism can flourish. I know that they are made by the same company, but I don't really think that matters, ya know?
We are presented with choices. Our choices shape our opinions. So, if I choose red - I mean - Coke, then I will get along with others who choose Coke and we will agree that we chose correctly and that the people that prefer blue - I mean - Pepsi, chose incorrectly. Well, the people that chose blue think they chose correctly and that it is, in fact, the red people that chose incorrectly. This is a conflict of interests, and conflicts create division. People who are divided require a non-biased mediator so that order can be maintained and, because this mediator cares about the safety of both the red and the blue groups, it only makes sense that they should be given the authority to decide what is ok and is not ok for both groups. This is the most rational and logical option because the authority isn't biased towards red or blue, which means they will know what's best for everyone's interests. The police are there to make sure that all red and all blue people are all following all of the all-inclusive rules, mandated by the mediator, and all this is done for the greater good of society. I - I'm gonna get all choked up over here, just thinking about how nice the government is to do all that it does for us. They protect us from those fucking freaks that drink Pepsi. God I fucking hate those sub-human blue-tards! Red people generally have more money and are more successful, which means they are smarter. What started as a small neighborhood feud between Coke and Pepsi is actually how the gang warfare between the Bloods & Crips originated. That's right, they got the colors from Coke and Pepsi, which obviously is a lot more likely than a vast conspiracy involving powerful people manipulating reality in order to maintain control and power over the uninitiated masses. Fuck poor people. Oh, and how about those people that make their preference for Coke or Pepsi an aspect of their personality? They don't seem to understand that the color of the can is the only fucking difference. That's why I stick with Tab Cola, for those unmistakable metallic flavors and the uncomfortable, sticky feeling all over my body the next day.
CHOICE # 4
They're the exact same store except for the fact that one is red and one is blue... and yet, you have a preference for one over the other. You made up some reasons for why they are different in your head, because you are under an immense amount of mind control.
Ahh... consumerism: the arena of pointless choices. Why does only one company manufacture all the different brands of eyeglasses? Perhaps... to have control over the market? No - to have control over you, stupid - and no: this isn't a joke. It's a desperate plea, urging you to wake up and see this shit for what it really is, while you have this opportunity - this window - into the illusion. You see, they are getting desperate - and lately, the world seems like it has gone mad - which is part of their strategy, which is preventing you from seeing it. Why do you think there are suddenly twenty new M&M's flavor combinations? All these new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup's with minor alterations of essentially the same fucking thing? Let me guess: they're just having fun... right? Trying to stir up interest in candy bars? Or maybe for profit... right? This is just a business strategy to get your money... right? No... no... I'm afraid you're thinking way too small... with your logic and reason and all the other LIMITING BELIEFS that you have been - and are being - indoctrinated with: every fucking day! These are all pointless choices (brought to you by consumerism) that are trying to keep you distracted. Trying to keep your mind occupied. Why is Netflix trying to induce option paralysis? Why are the high-tech gadgets we use for entertainment purposes bombarding us with a constant onslaught of ads, new articles, stories, and a maddening amount of pointless bullshit?!?!?! They want you to be overwhelmed; they want you to freeze. They want you to have no sense of identity. They want life to overwhelm you with an endless list of pointless shit that has to get done in order to maintain... in order to maintain... to maintain what? THE ILLUSION, IDIOT. Ok: that was uncalled for. I don't think you're an idiot. I think that you know, in the bottom of your cold, gray heart , that the crazy shit I am saying sounds right (for some reason). They are manipulating reality in order to keep you under their power and control. I don't exactly know why, but I do know that they care a lot more about you being distracted than they care about worthless green paper. You know what? I bet the 1% doesn't give a shit about money: they simply have all of it just to piss you off. Why is all this corruption in the news all the time? The next fucking scandal that everyone can talk about? WHY is the news telling us to wear masks, get vaccinated and then, the following week, admitting COVID-19 is a bio-weapon? TO KEEP YOU DISTRACTED. THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO THEM. Oh, and Walmart and Target's LOGOS both contain some occult symbolism. Yep: Target's logo is the astrological symbol for the sun and Walmart's logo is the Star of David... with the hexagon in the middle. The hexagon is symbolic of the cube. Once you understand that you can't not see the cube. It's fucking weird - but also a conversation for another time - when we can discuss why all of these well-known corporate LOGOs are symbolic of Saturn:
https://preview.redd.it/vsv8fcvh834d1.jpg?width=511&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9a14f0b398633824a2768e3128268aa6628c689
CHOICE # 5
You know what? I think I should devote a large portion of my life to watching a bunch of overpaid, mentally compromised, grown-ass men chase a ball around. I also think I should be passionate about the team that is closest to me in geographical proximity. This is not mind control, but as a conspiracy realist, I do like to point out that MK Ultra really did happen, and the CIA really did experiment with mind control back in the 1950's, but the program ended decades ago. I like to go on online conspiracy forums, and help people understand the reality of conspiracy theories, so they don't get sucked into lies like Q-anon or lizard people or THIS POST, WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY THE WORK OF A MENTALLY UNSTABLE INDIVIDUAL.
Watching sports makes me feel safe, and comfortable, because it distracts me from all the bullshit of everyday life. It's good to have a nice distraction - and fill my mind with useless sports stats - or talk endlessly with the bro's about individual players strength's and weaknesses - in a boring, monotonous tone of voice - while I sip domestic piss-water beer. I don't want to think too deeply about things because it starts to make me really uncomfortable when I have to confront reality. I'd rather just not worry about it and see what happens. Who am I but a lowly speck of insignificant, worthless dog shit in this giant, scary universe, where I am completely powerless to do anything but take whatever beating the world feels like dishing out to me that day? I dunno. Maybe Jesus will come back and good will win out in the end. Good always wins in the end - that's just the way it works - so I don't really have to worry about anything. God is good. My little brother doesn't like sports at all. He likes to put on girls makeup, and is always depressed and confused and obsessing about some dumb shit. We're lucky to live in the modern age, with advancements in science that will allow my brother to medically transition into the woman that he always should have been - and always truly was - on the inside. Some assholes don't think that trans women are women. They just don't understand how science works, and don't care to learn. They are just misogynistic, transphobic assholes. That's right: if you don't think that you can be born a man and then change into a woman that means you are transphobic. You hate trans people because you don't want to believe that a man can change into a woman. Anyway - that's my brother -not me. I like guy shit... because I'm normal.
CHOICE # 666
​
The choice of the beast
Oh NO! Everyone hates politics - which is why I hid it at the end - because I know nobody is still reading this. I've alienated myself from the audience, with all the confusing switching between dialogues of seemingly different people and JUST BECAUSE I BET there will be some DIP-CLIP that says "voting is how we get things done around here." HA! Nice try, but this isn't about politics; this is a meta-analysis of WHY it's NO POLITICS. The short answer is that participating in this is as pointless as those people above, participating in gang warfare against their fellow man. "THOSE PEOPLE?" What do you mean, those people? Black people? THIS GUYS RACIST. No, even worse: HE'S INTOLERANT. The human race has become far too soft, weak and emasculated by the pesticides and environmental toxins that get dumped all over us, every day! GET VACCINATED for other people, you SELFISH CONSPIRACY THEORIST. This is why we aren't going to reach herd immunity and we will have to deal with COVID-19 for years to come: because of people like you. WHY WOULD I trust a RANDOM, intolerant asshole on Reddit, who watched a YouTube video about lizard people, over EXPERTS who WENT TO SCHOOL for years to become indoctrinated, believe everything the MSM tells them, and completely LACK the ability to critically think?! All my life I heard that I "need to go to college", and today I couldn't be happier that I am not of a "higher education" because, from what I've gathered, they are some of the most CLOSE-MINDED people on the planet. LIMITING BELIEFS. That's what trendy these days.
I'm not done yet! Yes, I'm gonna talk about the donkey and the elephant: not only are politics bullshit; those who participate in politics are participating in a terrible, evil practice. Why would you affiliate with a political party and tell people what you think they can and cannot do? Can't you see that's the crux of the problem? I know things are fucked when the majority of people are of the opinion that we need to FIX the government (change it, drain the swamp, bureaucracy, etc.) They don't get it - we don't need to change the government - we need to END the government. Government is the single biggest threat to humanity. "But they protect us from the BAD people." Guess what? "The bad people" are there because of the government. The government needs the bad people to be there, in order to maintain their "illusion of legitimacy" (credit - Jim@EOI) and make themselves seem needed. THE BAD PEOPLE are the people who protect us. The sooner you understand that, the better off you are. And people are still talking about election fraud because they think that Trump is GOOD. Can't you see the mind control? How are these people this BLIND to reality?
Manipulation of reality.
Look... it's the superpowers. The greatest countries in the world! But why do they have the exact same color scheme as all the pointless choices? How can they be united? This is the divided states and the divided kingdom, and they have conquered. DIVIDE & CONQUER. Oh, wait... some patriots went off to find a new home and fight for freedom from the oppression of the taxation of the royal bloody palace? Only to go and make a new country even more oppressive and with higher taxes, some two-hundred odd years later? Are you SURE that it wasn't actually to commit GENOCIDE against all the indigenous BROWN PEOPLE, whose genetic makeup allowed them to have a far deeper understanding of spirituality? CoUlDn't bE Th@T....
I'M DRAWING A LINE IN THE SAND
I am so sick of the average Redditor - who thinks they're smart because they're an atheist who understands science - arguing with me, using all their SUPER-BELIEVABLE LIMITING BELIEFS. I know on Reddit it's hard to tell who is real and who ... isn't real - but these people are seemingly the majority now - and they're fucked. They don't even actually understand what science is. Science isn't chopping off your dick to be a woman. Let's talk about the actual scientist who performed many series of actual scientific experiments to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that people are able to control material reality with only the use of their minds. Why doesn't anyone ever want to talk about THAT science?
What it seems is that every thing in this world - every institution, religion, and academic study - has been corrupted to keep us under control. The people that are in control of this world have access to esoteric knowledge that they have hidden from the masses to keep for themselves. This knowledge involves the ability to manipulate reality, which they use for power and keeping the rest of us down and powerless. From what I can tell, the thing they don't want us to know is that we are powerful beings, with capabilities that have been hidden and unused. Every person needs to understand that they are a powerful being that doesn't need any help or anyone to save them. WE have the power to control our own destiny. If the majority would start believing in their power and themselves, we would have a chance at ending this shitty reality manipulation and living as non-dual beings of love - as the true source of creation made us - powerful, independent beings with everything we need, and no need to evolve or learn shitty lessons about suffering. Unfortunately, it seems like most people would prefer to keep their creature comforts, believe that this isn't as bad as I am making it sound, and remain here, in the safety of familiarity... away from the fear of the unknown. And that makes me so fucking sad that it brings tears to my eyes.
submitted by futurebannedacct to CoronavirusCirclejerk [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:49 Fantumofthefae My mom's a huge hypocrite and idk what to do anymore

Please bear with me it's long, half rant half needing advice, I'm at a loss.. I'll probably end up deleting this if gaining too much traction so no family or friends see it. This isn't everything but that would give away my identity. So we'll stick to just this... I(f19) and my mom(f54) keep our horses at home, I got mine before she got hers. Right after we moved in I fell into a deeeep depression, I barely got out of bed to even feed, barely ate and was over all in bad shape. She just kinda bitched at me that I wasn't up and feeding on time or wasn't spending time with my horses, kept telling me how she'd LOVE to have a horse at home and I do so I should go spend time with them. She also loves to tell me the story about her cousin growing up who had horses but only liked them for riding and wouldn't let my mom even pet them, how she never wants me to grow up like her because she only loved those horses because of showing and riding. Well, she got a horse! Last year. I still get bitched at, less tho because I kept telling her to stop going after me for not being out on time or spending time with them, while my mental is better it's more I'm faking better. And she? I can barely drag her butt out to see the horse, she'll go see other people's horses tho and spend hours doing things that she's not paid for, she's a trainer at a barn. Recently she thought of breeding her - dw she's got loads of experience, but found out due to a genetic disorder should not be bred. And tonight I almost was ran over when the mare came trotting into the barn after me while I followed my horses in. I told my mom in an annoyed tone, she needs manners or pick your favorite cause one of us is gonna get hurt, worried and annoyed about the situation and how she could have slipped on the concrete in the barn with her wet hooves from the storm outside. She just tells me "well she'll get me 10k and can't give me a baby so just sell her" not perfect quote but she was saying to sell her cause she can't ethical breed her. There been horses in the past shes loved, none hers. I never thought she was the one to not love or even try to form a bond with a horse just because she can't breed. This mare wants to be loved. She was abused so is a bit of a challenge but nothing my mom can't do. Especially since she's already made soo much progress. I think the topping on the cake is that I've delt with my mom's depressive episodes, every time something goes wrong in her life she's into a depression episode, granted what goes on for her to become like that is big like a huge change in her life that was unwarranted. I always have to be there. To pick her back up. Keep her from self deleting. She tells me she has no friends, I know there's people who'd listen and be there for her but she doesn't reach out. So it lands on me(not my dad, he doesn't do shit to help her mental health). I try to curve her depressive episodes the moment I see them arise, I've learned how to help her cause I've done it all my life. But even when I tell her I don't know what being happy feels like, that I don't remember the last time I was happy and that I think it's chemical and would like to find help, she discards it the next day.. Like I said nothing. Before we knew about the genetic disorder she said how could I breed her without you here with the other horses, that's unfair of me to ask you to put your life on hold. I told her, I'd wait, I'd stay at least until the mom and baby where settled with another horse or just the two of them. I want her to be happy. I want my mom to be happy, I don't know if she can't afford therapy, doesn't want it or what. But it's tiring and feels so unfair to the mare. I regret telling her to just try, keep her for at least the winter, try and bond.. Now I swear she sees her as a status symbol "I gotta horse" it's her first horse, maybe I should have seen this coming... Every time there's a set back, she says "this isn't the horse I wanted" and backs into a semi depressive state and stops even more being with the mare.
I don't know if there's anything I can do, what the 🦆 do I do. Do I just sit her down and tell her everything risking a depression episode she can't get out of? do I keep quiet and let her do what she feels is right? Or do I try and tell someone else? I also can't afford to risk losing living here rn, I don't have another place to go with my horses.
submitted by Fantumofthefae to Equestrian [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:48 BirdForward7634 The all-father and leading architect of Psychiatry

A quite recent interview of Robert Sapolsky came to my awareness today and the title is "There's no free will". I will elaborate and highlight some key-points of the interview, and why psychiatry is truly operating with black-ops methods on people like myself who they can't officially abduct nor fully control, conducting their own "safe-garden" experiments of human lobotomies, trying to "tame" society and benefit humanity through their anecdotal observations.
In the interview, he states:
"We do not choose to change, we are changed by circumstances as a function of who we have been made into at the moment we experienced."
It is implied that there's no choice to change. It is implied, we are truly deprived and unconscious of our own actions at any given time, given the product of our previous experiences accumulating to the result of the delusion of choice. The statements holds truth and I agree with it.
He mentions that the prefrontal cortex part of our brain is responsible for emotional regulation (the one that all psych drugs turn to dust) and that it is the most inherent gene-detached part of our evolution.
The interview continues on and on rambling about anthropology, concluding with the most psychiatric statement and ideology one could ever hold when trying to address the notion of "We have no choice, we have no free will":
"You have cars whose breaks don't work out on the streets, you put the car into a garage. But you don't go in everyday with a sledgehammer and smash the car over the top because it has a crappy soul. It just turned out that way. In the same way, if you have got someone who's dangerous, you gotta protect society from them. You constrain them. You quarantine them. You put lots of effort into understanding root causes. How did they wind up that way? What can you do to make fewer of those shorts of people in the future?"
Well well, what do we have here? We, the people, are being portrayed as cars. If we have some metabolic problem or gut problem or who knows what that fails to successfully fuel our prefrontal cortex function in a consistent fashion, which is strictly a medical problem that psychiatry chooses to ignore and completely dismiss in a downward spiral of madness, only to promote a faster evolution and "eu-epi-genetics". The strong prevail and weak are getting stepped on. Put us in the garage, make the sledgehammer invisible and demolish our "crappy" soul (or call the police on us while you have nuked our prefrontal cortex damage further).
"What can you do to make fewer of those shorts of people in the future?" Well, you are doing it in the best fashion and I am living it by the book "without a choice" because your people have kept me in the garage, in exile, in isolation, in complete black-ops fashion for 20 YEARS. And now I have 20 health problems, having a constant state of neuro-chemical lobotomy due to your own doing, just because YOU THINK AND BELIEVE something, when I HAVE NEVER COMMITTED A CRIME IN MY LIFE.
Just because there's a deterministic concept which is true, consisting of a trillion-based exponentially product variable set, DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO ERADICATE MY HUMAN SOUL, MY HUMANITY, MY FREEDOM, MY HUMAN RIGHTS. MY SOUL IS NOT CRAPPY NOR FOR YOU TO JUDGE.
Video reference: youtube .com/watch?v=ke8oFS8-fBk
submitted by BirdForward7634 to Antipsychiatry [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:47 Ok-Transition-7060 Sleep Apnea Secondary to MDD w/Insomnia

So. I've read quite a few posts here regarding so many people's lovely experiences with trying to get a rating of OSA as a rating.
Long story short. I had sleeping problems practically my entire time in service. I always noticed it and I definitely made a comment several times to those at my base in the clinic. I do have a current rating of 70% for MDD w/Insomnia. I've been denied on my Sleep Apnea claim twice already. I did request a HLR back on April 18 and my lawyer submitted an article that has a few pages illustrating the link between Depression and mental health things and OSA. I did have a sleep study in July of 2023. And I have OSA pretty bad. It honestly makes sense considering I've had severe headaches for years, wake up with a dry mouth & sore throat most days, and even when I sleep for 8-10 hours. I would feel as though I never had more than 3 hours of sleep.
I also rarely ever dreamt at all (Which I was told is a telltale sign of OSA). Again, I made several mentions of the symptoms I would have regarding my poor sleep during my time in. But nobody ever suggested I should have a sleep study done. I was young(er) and naive and honestly never event thought it would be possible for me to have sleep apnea. I always assumed it was an old person thing or that you would need to be extremely overweight. While I wasn't the skinny guy I had always been during my time in. I was sitting between 170-220 max. And before I got out of the military was at about 185. So, for me (a guy who's always been pretty stocky & muscular), I felt pretty comfortable in my body. Now I feel as though I'm being penalized for my ignorance and it's just infuriating. The CPAP that I do have is a life saver and I'm extremely thankful that I got it done. But now that I understand that I've had practically the same symptoms for years...It feels like a slap in the face to deal with all of this.
Basically I'm curious if anyone else has had any success with filing secondary to MDD w/Insomnia at all? As I stated above, my lawyer did submit some article that provided evidence of links between all of that stuff. I also filed for an increase to my Migraines/Headaches. Basically just filling out a log that stated all the times I have headaches, with prostrating attacks, etc. I guess I'm just not sure what else I need to do or have to have done to make the examiners believe that I may have more than likely had OSA while I was in service. I'm waiting on a decision (have been since April 18th), and I'm literally holding my breath for that rating (if approved). If I get that & the increase for my Migraines/Headaches. I'll be sitting at 100% and a pretty hefty back pay amount that would literally be a life saver at this point.
I'm sure I'm missing some other things that I wanted to say, but this is pretty much the gist of what I was wondering about.
submitted by Ok-Transition-7060 to VeteransBenefits [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:46 Academic-Baby-389 Baby fever for the past 3 years

I’m not sure if this is the correct place to post this, it popped up on my feed and I somehow feel comfortable sharing and I guess asking for advice on here.
My ex, Kale, and I were pregnant in the summer of 2021. He didn’t want the baby and tried for weeks to convince me to have an abortion. At the time, I was 19 years old, had just gotten a promotion as an assistant manager at the company I was working for, my coworkers and manger were fully supportive and wanted to throw me a baby shower, Kale’s dad and his friends were fully supportive and were trying to figure out the logistics with me as far as babysitting and such since my blood relatives were not apart of my life. About 3-4 months into the pregnancy Kale eventually threatened that his mom who was a psychiatrist would fight me in court to take custody of our baby and deem me as “unfit to be a mother”. I didn’t want the baby to go through all of that for a lifetime between us. I didn’t want to be extra emotional during the pregnancy and cause the baby any problems while in the womb, or sense that something is wrong and be affected by it, as well as just growing up with parents that couldn’t co-parent. I felt like I’d be doing him/her a disservice and create a dramatic life that didn’t need to be. So, finally, at 19 weeks pregnant, I believe it was August, I decided to have an abortion. It was so traumatic. The feeling of essentially being vacuumed out, after feeling the physical changes my body went through. The pulses in my lower abdomen that brought me a flood of emotions every time, knowing that I was succeeding at doing the best I could as I single mother. I was so proud and in love with learning as much as I could and doing my best at everything that would affect hehis life. My ex picked me up from the clinic (he couldn’t come in due to covid restrictions) and I found out from the white residue on my seatbelt that he was cheating on me (in which I found out later that he had taken this girl out to lunch after he had dropped me off at the clinic). Anyway, I kicked him out that week and I was severely depressed. Crying nonstop at work, and seeing parents with their children made it worse. My manager and coworkers were getting tired of me, especially because they didn’t believe in abortions (I live in a red state). I felt alone and embarrassed, so I quit in September.
In October, I downloaded tinder to get my mind off of things and met my current boyfriend, Blake. We instantly hit it off. We met mid-October and I haven’t left his apartment since. We said our first “I love you” a week in, and I officially moved in two weeks after meeting. We had discussed marriage and children almost immediately into the relationship, and agreed that we both would compromise and be fine with waiting 5 years, as he wanted to have children in about ten years and I wanted them asap. A few weeks into living together, I got on the pill. Around December I thought I was having pregnancy symptoms, but all of my tests were coming out negative. I recall taking like 10 in the span of 2-3 months, but all came back negative. By March, I had begun an automotive technician job and was taking a wheel off of a vehicle while it was in the air above my head. The moment I grabbed it, I had the worst cramps I had ever gotten in my life. I sat down for a while and had my coworkers finish the job while I took a breather and eventually went home early. I had the absolute worst cramps for the next 24 hours. The next morning, I was having contractions and after a couple of hours on the toilet, had a miscarriage.
I spent the next few months not talking about it or laughing it off, but it stung. Medication helped for a bit, but as time has progressed, the worst I feel about it. I keep thinking about how life would’ve been if I kept my first child. How old he/she would be. I have two dogs to fill the void, and I love them very much but it obviously is not the same. It’s going on three years since the abortion and it’s still painful and I don’t want to keep bringing it up to Blake. I guess I don’t know what to do about these feelings.
submitted by Academic-Baby-389 to TryingForABaby [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:45 kayla68778 The biggest symptoms are twitching/writhing, shocking in the spine, leg weakness, and mental decline

Height: 5’4”
Weight: 265
Age: 24
Sex assigned at birth: Female
Geographic region(s) your ancestors are from: IPoland (Paternal); Scotland and Bohemia (Maternal)
Medications: Baclofen, Protonix, Celebrex, Hydroxyzine
Simplified Symptoms list: itchiness all over my body, twitching and writhing of whole body, leg weakness, shocking sensation in spine (a constant one that feels like my spine is a live wired and the other being big waves of shocks that come all the sudden and last a few hours), tactile hallucinations, fainting or passing out or falling asleep (don’t know which) that ranges from 1-2 times a day to 40+ times a day, hands suddenly stopping working which causes me to drop things which I don’t notice until it hits the floor, hands unable to feel temperature correctly, slurring of speech (noticed by family not me), feeling like my tongue is heavy and it feels harder to form words, speaking loudly even though I think I’m speaking normally, severe forgetfulness
Health background - history of past illnesses, surgeries, etc.:
Past Illnesses: Endometriosis, Osteitis Pubis, Tendonitis, Chronic Rhinitis, bilateral Cochlear Implants (completely deaf without them)
Surgeries: Tonsils, Adenoids, Deviated Septum surgery, gallbladder removal surgery, endometriosis removal surgery (Has come back; another surgery in August), eye surgery, and both of my cochlear implant surgeries
Background of Symptoms - Tell the story and background of your symptoms. Things to include: When the symptoms began, what was happening around the time the symptoms started (eg. if you started or stopped any medication, injuries, trips, etc), what makes symptoms better or worse, things doctors have already ruled out, any changes from the initial presentation of the symptoms, etc:
The itchines started in December of 2020. Hydroxyzine mostly gets rid of it. The leg weakness started in March 2021. The hands not working symptom and not being able to feel temperature accurately started in April 2021. My twitching and writhing began exactly on May 1st, 2021. I was fine and then all of a sudden it started happening and I went to the ER. Nothing happened before that. I didn’t go on any new medicines or start eating any new foods. Before the last two weeks, the Baclofen got rid of it completely and I took it every 12 hours. Around May 21st, 2024 I all of a sudden started twitching and writhing 6 hours after the previous dose. I went to the ER and they gave me a big dose of Ativan and then the doctor said I could start taking Baclofen every 8 hours. I am always twitching a little bit, but it doesn’t start to get bad until 6 hours after the last dose so as soon as it’s been 8 hours I take it right away. If I’m sleeping I won’t have it. The shock started on May 22, 2021. The tactile hallucinations started on May 27th, 2021. The remaining mental decline symptoms just started 2-3 weeks ago. The only symptoms that I have are medicine that helps the twitching writhing and itchiness. Nothing makes these symptoms better or worse except that the fainting seems to get worse when I am in more pain or my symptoms get worse. Over the past 2-3 weeks since the twitching and writhing got worse and I got the new symptoms my fainting/sleeping got worse too. I didn’t start any new medications before the symptoms. The medicines I was on I had been on for 5+ years. The others I took after all of these symptoms. The symptoms have progressively gotten worse over the past 3 years until 2-to 3 weeks ago when it just really got worse quickly all of a sudden. I didn’t have any falls, accidents or anything traumatic happen.
Family history - List of family members and their illnesses (be sure to include if they are maternal or paternal relatives):
Mother: Primary sclerosing cholangitis, liver transplant
Father: High blood pressure
Aunt (Mom’s sister): Celiac disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis
Sister: POTS, EDS
Tests and Work Done -
I have metal on both sides of my head because of cochlear implants so I can’t do an MRI. When I had a CT scan the metal in my head created a huge white area on both sides so the CT scan was found inconclusive but negative for the parts they could see. However, most of the CT scan is white so you can’t see anything. I was taken off of all of my medicines for a month to test for serotonin syndrome, but nothing happened so I don’t have that. I had a spinal CT with contrast on April 22nd, 2022. That came back negative. I’ve had an EEG and EMG. Those came back negative. They noticed some activity on the EEG, but they didn’t know what. I had an MSLT sleep study and that came back negative for narcolepsy (I didn’t pass out/fall asleep at all though. I believe because I was uncomfortable and was on alert). I have had lab work done. Those are all of the tests I’ve had done.
submitted by kayla68778 to CrowdDiagnosis [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:44 SadSackingToday HRT, weight gain, general dammit it all to hell rant

Hello wise women,
I've been reading some of the posts about the variety of experiences with weight gain and HRT. My story is that I lost my period at age 43, when I happened to be running 250 miles per month. I wasn't overly lean IMO (I wasn't even down to my "normal" pre-child weight!). I was eating carnivore. Yes, all this was in response to a subtle shift in my body comp that I felt like a low pressure system deep in my being. The doctor and even my ND assumed I was in menopause after a year with no cycle. I worked with an amenorrhea coach and my ND. I started taken HRT due to my inability to get my periods back and my young age to protect my bones/ CV system. I had an insane reaction to the patches (wild deep red streaking all over my thighs and abdomen, not raised or bumpy or itchy). I switched to compound estradiol cream and 100mg of progesterone. My reaction to that? I got high. Laughing unable to walk upstairs to bed--it was awesome. But only lasted a few nights. I've since acclimated to the patch and have a higher dose since I keep testing low.
I have struggled with compliance. I would take the HRT and yes they helped w sleep and the bottomless depression; the mood help is pretty profound. My sex life is pretty great on HRT and pretty meh without. But on HRT the depression got worse in some ways bc of the rapid weight gain. In response, I would stop HRT, drop a few pounds and then inevitably the no-sleep demon and the other kind of marrow-deep depression would take me down. I would restart HRT. Each cycle was about 6 months. Then at the age of 47, I got my period back (last summer). For real. So I got to stop the hormones and wow I recognized myself in the mirror again very quickly (days!). I even went back to playing soccer - a lot. Maybe you can guess what happened a few months later...ACL rupture. Holy shit show. I did well w the surgery, excellent w the rehab and still, the depression/ the stress all of it, made my periods go away again.
I held out as long as I could but the no-sleep demon came for me and I had to go back on hormones. The weight gain is well, double-take level. As in, if I run into an old friend there is a visible swallow and eyes widening. I'm a former collegiate athlete, a surfer, I have a goddamn degree in exercise science and I have the discipline of an Olympian. I have a bike desk. I work out with impeccable form daily with proper periodization, planned rests, and have toned down the running (obs, see injury above). I can stick to any diet. I never overeat. I get my protein in daily. I hit my water goals. I take magnesium. All the things-done. I have never undereaten until this phase of my life. And this is crazy making. It feels like my body is gaslighting me. Oh you ate 1000kcals yesterday? Here's 3 extra pounds for your effort.
Like many of you, I had a traumatic childhood w a host of abuses. Trying and successfully figuring out cause and effect has saved my life on numerous occasions. It's important to me to understand why the laws of thermodynamics no longer apply. It's also bringing up some fear, uncertainty, & loss of control issues.
My pull-up game is weak (umm 1? If I cheat), my push-up game has suffered. My abs are still strong as hell but I can only see the top 4--the bottom part--WTAF is happening. I've put the work in, perhaps you may say too much work. If so, you a) may be right & b) maybe it will make someone out there feel better that someone with my track record/ experience is struggling mightily.
It's very important to me to feel in control of my body and I've tried to do so in a physically healthy way. For the mental part, I've done so much therapy. I've done every treatment under the sun short of electric shock therapy (thought about it) for mind and body. But the kind of stuff I went thru isn't the type of thing that really ever lets you feel safe again. This--my body, my health, my earning of my health has been my safety. Feeling fast and strong and fit has been my blankie. I want it back.
I'm currently 48, had a period last month, which I would love to think means I can stop HRT but since I re-injured my meniscus (PT had me jumping way too soon post-op sadly), I'm worried that my cycle has hidden again. I'm incredibly sensitive to stress and I always have been. Most of my life I've felt that I'm not quite cut out for it all due to my over sensitivity & insane hyper vigilance.
Has anyone else had such a clear weight up on HRT/ weight down off HRT experience? If so, did you say screw it, and just deal with low mood, no interest in sex, yet steamy, damp nights nonetheless...forever? Or did you go the other route and say eff it, I'm gonna see just how high my body fat can actually get to?
I'm tired of waffling between two of the shittiest choices on the market.
submitted by SadSackingToday to Menopause [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:43 Nonothingdad Finder Fee Question

Hello all. First time poster, about a month or so away from taking my OR test. I plan on working part time with my other job which is an employee for a consulting company for state licensed group homes.
Background: With my current job I meet a lot of providers looking to expand their business. Which means buying other residential properties. I'm hoping to use those connections to help providers buy homes. Now my boss and owner of the company, been encouraging me to get my license and talked about how he would want me to use it for the business. He knows a lot of other clients he works with on his side plus new providers just starting out who might need a home.
With doing my reading the rule states I can't give anyone a finder fee or "gift" for sending business my way as a realtor correct? Which means I can't legally give him like a percentage of my commission?
Does anyone have any similar experience? I don't want to do anything to mess up current career, but I especially don't want to jeopardize my future career in real estate either. Any ideas, help, guidance would be appreciated! Thanks!
submitted by Nonothingdad to realtors [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:42 femdomperv My life just started and I’m so sick

I just moved to a new big city and got an exciting job and I’m genuinely happy about the things I have going on. I just cannot eat. I’ve had problems since I was a young teenager but it has gotten so incredibly bad.
I got major surgery for a vascular compression disorder and thought my appetite would come back. I waited through recovery and nothing happened. I genuinely wanted my life to end in the hospital because there was just nothing for me to look forward to in the worst state I’ve ever been, for weeks. I couldn’t eat the food and was laughed off when I requested my medical marijuana.
Unfortunately I haven’t been able to get any help for this my entire child life and that’s part of the reason I moved to a city so soon after recovery. My afore mentioned disorder took my ability to walk for a short period. I was stuck under the care of my parents unable to drive , and they think my GI issues are mentally induced. My surgeon made me get officially diagnosed with EDS before procedure and my parents were so hard to convince that that was anything potentially bad.
I still am on a good independent grind and have a motility test already scheduled , I already had my stool sample come back negative for whatever it was testing. I just feel like the diagnosis is going to kill me inside if it’s gastroparesis. I don’t want to offend anybody in the sub. I’ve just been sick for so long and I thought I was going to be healthy again after such a traumatizing surgery. Everybody thinks Im all better, and I can walk and move around and have energy so I suppose I seem like it. But I am so sick every single day and I miss the dopamine from my favorite foods. I feel like I genuinely lost the feeling of hunger for the rest of my life. It comes back with weed often but it’s very unreliable of a medicine, and frankly I cannot exactly just be high at a work conference dinner. I am my sickest at work, when I look the happiest. I feel like this is going to ruin my life and take everything I’ve worked for away from me.
submitted by femdomperv to Gastroparesis [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:41 2hipster4this Staying on COBRA when starting a new job until end of year?

I live in California, and I currently have already reached my out of pocket max this year on my employer sponsored health insurance plan. I also have multiple single case agreements set up as well. I'm considering leaving my job, but I would then have to start at zero on health insurance payments, paying the new deductible and likely hitting my OOP max by end of year
With the single case agreements too, those could take a month to just process if I don't have to appeal, plus all the delays after that on submitting claims (and having to call to get them fixed often) means that I would likely need a few thousand dollar buffer for the first few months to be able to pay the out-of-network bills while I wait to get the new single case agreements in order and get reimbursed
I saw COBRA is a thing, I know my job does have that as part of their health insurance, and I saw that leaving a job voluntarily is covered by it. If I start a new job, would that impact my eligibility to stay on COBRA? Even if my premiums doubled with COBRA, it would be cheaper overall and save a ton of effort. If I can, I'm thinking of trying to use it to stay on the plan through end of year and then just switching to whatever my next's job health insurance plan would be for 2025
As a side question, would I still be eligible to contribute to my HSA with my current plan under COBRA? Currently it just deducts from my paycheck, so I am unsure how that works with COBRA
submitted by 2hipster4this to HealthInsurance [link] [comments]

2024.06.02 06:32 KeyAardvark8162 Is Living on private land in a mobile home Realistic?

Little background on our situation right now. My partner (19f) is currently getting her basics done before going off to university for her pre vet and then vet. Her goal is that one day in the future she opens her own practice. Me (18f) on the other hand am graduating this DecembeJanuary with my cosmetology license. After I take my TDLR test which will be DecembeJanuary. We currently live with my dad and brother in a little suburban neighborhood with an HOA.
current financial status summed up:
My partner makes around 1k a month, pays around 100 for subscriptions and 550 for car payments. Her mom covers car insurance. She has another 5 1/2 years of car payments. She has a credit score of 760
for myself I make 2k a month, no car payment sense I bought my car with cash and insurance is covered by my dad so long as I don't have any tickets or am in any wrecks. (not to brag but 2 years clean) and 1,500 of my money goes to school. payments end in 5 months. The rest goes to my savings, subscriptions, and fun money. I currently have 11k in an investment account and 2k in savings (for my next school payment). credit score of 720.
With all of that said and done we have been looking to move out. The plan is that when I graduate school will be the time when I get a job at a salon near whichever university she transfers too (I graduate around the same time she will be transferring) Until that wonderful day, we are looking at housing options and oh my lord, things are so expensive. Which, we knew about, but it just seems so unreasonable.
we have been looking at the option of buying our own land, getting a mobile home to live in outright until we have enough money to build our own dream home at low costs. Living for free! is the ultimate goal. I started doing serious research in my area and the general area of schools she's looking at and so far, things feel way too good to be true. Land would be between 2k-6k an acre (we are looking at buying 3 to 4 acres) we found two homes we really liked. One would be 60k and the other is 120k.
here is where I am stuck on. Is solar realistic option for electricity? Is it difficult to get well water and is THAT realistic. Is it okay to look at getting a personal loan for a while in the beginning of our journey or should we just rent out an apartment like everyone else? Any advice or just overall anything would be helpful on this topic. Mind you my partner and I have discussed we are more than okay with living humbly for a few years until we can have our dream home with all of the animals we want. We want a ranch/suburban lifestyle one day at a low cost.
submitted by KeyAardvark8162 to Advice [link] [comments]

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