Chapter 3: The Nightmare Made Flesh
The full moon cast an eerie glow over the quiet streets of Willowbrook as Sheriff Ethan Blackwood patrolled the town, his eyes scanning the shadows for any sign of the creature that had been terrorizing the community. The past few days had been a waking nightmare – the brutal attacks, the mounting fear, the desperate search for answers. And now, with the revelation of the glowing eyes and otherworldly growl that Deputy Sarah Harding had witnessed in the woods, Ethan couldn't shake the feeling that they were dealing with something far beyond their understanding.
As he turned onto a deserted side street, a sudden movement caught his eye. Ethan slammed on the brakes, his heart pounding as he peered into the darkness. There, illuminated in the harsh glare of his headlights, stood a figure that defied all reason and sanity.
It was humanoid in shape, but there was nothing human about the creature that loomed before him. Standing at nearly six and a half feet tall, it had a bipedal stance that was uncannily human, but its body was a grotesque parody of the human form. Its limbs were elongated and disproportionate, with a hunched, unnatural posture that spoke of a twisted, inhuman anatomy.
The creature's skin was a sickly grayish-brown, mottled with patches of dark, coarse hair that sprouted in uneven clumps across its body. Its face was a nightmarish fusion of human and bestial features, with sunken, feral eyes that glowed an eerie yellow in the darkness. Its nose was flattened and broad, with large, flaring nostrils that twitched and quivered as it caught Ethan's scent. And its mouth...its mouth was a jagged maw filled with misshapen teeth that protruded at odd angles, giving it a perpetual, horrifying snarl.
As Ethan watched in mute horror, the creature began to change before his eyes. Its body convulsed and twitched, bones snapping and reshaping beneath its skin. Flesh rippled and bulged as muscles grew and shifted, and the sickening sound of tearing skin filled the air as the beast's form stretched and contorted into something even more monstrous.
The creature's arms elongated into long, spindly limbs that ended in gnarled, clawed hands, almost human in appearance but tipped with wickedly sharp talons. Its legs grew more powerful, more canine, with digitigrade feet that looked capable of propelling it forward with terrifying speed and agility.
And through it all, the creature's eyes never left Ethan's, burning with a malevolent intelligence that spoke of a human mind trapped within a monstrous form.
Ethan sat frozen, his mind reeling with the sheer wrongness of the thing before him. This was no animal, no mere beast. It was an abomination, a perversion of nature itself.
Then suddenly the creature threw back its head and let out a howl that shook Ethan to his very core – a sound of pure, unleashed bloodlust and fury. Then, with a speed that defied belief, it lunged forward, its jaws snapping and its claws outstretched.
Ethan barely had time to react, throwing the car into reverse and slamming on the gas. The tires screeched as he careened backwards, desperate to put distance between himself and the nightmare made flesh. In the rearview mirror, he caught a glimpse of the creature bounding after him, its powerful legs eating up the ground with terrifying speed.
Ethan's hands shook as he fumbled for the radio, his voice cracking as he called for backup. He knew how it would sound, knew the disbelief and terror his words would inspire. But he had no choice. The people of Willowbrook were in mortal danger, and it was his sworn duty to protect them.
Even if it meant facing down a monster straight out of humanity's darkest nightmares.
As he waited for his deputies to arrive, Ethan's mind raced with questions. What was this creature? Where had it come from? And most importantly...how could they hope to stop it?
He didn't have the answers. But one thing was clear.
The hunt was on.
And this time, the prey was a twisted fusion of man and beast, a creature of fang and claw and insatiable hunger.
Ethan took a deep breath, his hand tightening on his gun. He didn't know what horrors the coming days would bring, what nightmares they would have to confront.
But he knew one thing.
He would not rest until the streets of Willowbrook were safe once more.
Until the creature lay dead at his feet, and the long night of terror was finally over.
No matter the cost, he would see this through to the bitter end.
For the sake of his town, his people.
And for the memory of all those lost to the beast's savage hunger.

So long story short, my partner and I accidentally trained our dog to be hand fed.
When we brought home our corgi puppy, we already had an elderly Boston terrier. Our Boston was on a prescription diet which she did not like, but we kept at it. Our corgi puppy was eating the puppy food the breeder had him on (Nutrisource puppy). At meal times, the Boston would leave her food and go steal the puppy’s food and he would give up and go eat her food. To try to combat this, my partner would sit with one pup and I’d sit with the other.
When our corgi got neutered, the vet did a PennHip evaluation and the results were kind of bad. She put him on Science Diet Healthy Mobility, so that’s the kibble we feed. He also gets Flexadin once a day. After we found out about his hips, we were even more diligent in not allowing the two dogs to swap food bowls, so we sat with them and did everything to get them to eat their respective food.
Time went on and our Boston eventually passed away. Now our corgi puppy will not eat without someone sitting by him and hand feeding him. To add insult to injury, he will spend the first 15-20 minutes of meal time acting uninterested, despite the fact that he is clearly hungry (barking and running into the room when we say “breakfast” or “dinner”). We have tried several times to just put the food down and go with the “he will eat when he’s hungry” but he ended up going two days without eating and making himself sick, throwing up yellow bile and we had to take him to the vet.
Before getting a corgi, I extensively researched the breed. Everything I read said they are very food motivated, but he’s not at all. He only likes one type of treat, turns his nose up to any sort of fruit or veggie, and rejects all of the toppers. He just has no excitement for any food.
I know this is a lot, but I’m desperate for help. My corgi has a trainer and she is a tough love kind of person, so she says just let him go until he eats. The vet kind of agrees. They don’t realize he will not eat on his own. I guess what I’m looking for is any sort of advice. How can we retrain him to just eat on his own without us sitting there and hand feeding him?

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

Hi friends,
This is going to be part vent so I apologize in advance but I am looking for advice. I work in case management for a state run program for youth and currently am dealing with a family who is very resentful of this service which has caused conflictt.
I received this case after a coworker could no longer handle it and refused to go into the home. She was called a liar in court by the family when she reported to cps about allegation of inter-sibling sexual issues. She was threatened and followed by the family outside of work while she was with her own family on the weekend.
I took over and this family has been difficult. They don’t open up, the guardian never confirms until last minute, is late almost every week, and yells at me. I’ve been trying for months to get the state worker to help and get a clear answer on getting the court order or discharging but it’s been almost impossible. In that interim though, the state worker made another cps report on this family not obeying this court order (that no one has) and of course the family only sees me so thinks I made the report/blames me. I had a visit the week it happened, it seemed to go okay, I tried to discuss openly with them regarding feelings around the cps reports, and they didn’t really say anything besides blaming me. Expected, I did my best to validate them while also giving them the state perspective. Another week of yelling, I shrugged it off.
Fast forward to this past week, I realize on Monday the appointment day for Friday won’t work. I have a personal thing come up. I try to call, no answer. I text, no reply. I got caught up and didn’t attempt again. Friday passes. Well, my silly self decides lets check our schedule and what do I see instead? Texts from her saying, “are you coming” “im going to be late” and then finally “thought we had an appointment today, thanks for telling me you were not coming, i waited for you now who is this against?!”.
I’ve been with this family for the past 7 months dealing with them threatening me, yelling at me, being late almost every week, or no showing. But this one week where they apparently don’t get my things when I needed them to. Plus, I know they will blame me/use this as proof that I am the one at fault for them not participating, not them.
I just feel exhausted. I don’t know what to do anymore. Looking back, a part of me suspects I didn’t try too hard to contact them after those attempts/focused on other families because it most likely would not have made a difference. They never move days from Friday and she never answers me except the day of. Which I know is awful on my part. I take accountability for that and I will be working on that/keeping it in mind.
But I just do not know what else to say to them or do for them. I feel guilty and like a failure.. I feel like I have nothing left for them. Which makes me feel even worse, like I’m not suited for this job.
My company finally said they would move the case to another worker but they also want to wait to see if in the next two weeks we get the court order.
How do I handle this? Do I just apologize and move on? Say I tried? I just don’t know anymore.
In desperate need of some perspective here. Sorry for the long post.

We knew this was gonna be tough matchup and the field conditions didn't help as well. Washington got into the scoring early with a goal in the 9th minute. After a potential disastrous injury to our co-captain Gorden who went out with a non-contact injury we stormed back with an own goal off Butel from Le Bihan and another header goal from Leroux to put us ahead. However it didn't last as WSH fired off 3 goal in less then 10 minutes to put us in 2 goal hole going into the half. The second half we did better defensively but couldn't find the back of the net. Let's get into the good, the bad, and the ugly....
The Good
Our attack looked better. It's looked good before but can we build on this going forward? We got past one issue that has plagued our offense this season so far which was a a lack of shots. We held more in Washington's half after Gorden went down and we looked to force the Spirit to defend more to make up for Gordens loss. We we're able to fire back quick and take the lead and for that short time looked like we could possibly pull out a win, or at the very least a tie. Giselle really played well in the attack and was everywhere. Nabet looked really good defensively and made some crucial saves and stops. Le Bihan has cemented her spot as a starter now imo. She brings life to the middle and the attack and has good connection with all players
The Bad
Defensive breakdowns in the counter and box issues with marking and clearing. When Gorden went out it affected two things. Her physical presence was huge loss with her ability to defend and moves the ball up. The second was her leadership to command and control the backline. With her out early, Washington took advantage of the breakdown on the counters and we paid for it. At the half our backline had time to talk roles and did better but for that 10 minutes it was chaos in the back. We need to work better on clearing the ball out around our box and pushing up. It always seems like a scramble and it leads to goals against. It also feels like the 3rd of fourth game where someone unmarked gets a goal or has a good chance.
I said we did better in the attack building creating chances but getting the ball into the back of the net still needs work. Curry had an open header chance, A. Thompson if she fell would've received a penalty chance. We could've had a couple goals from A. Thompson and Bright if not for offsides. The attack is moving forward so it's progress from what it was and hopefully we build on it.
The Ugly
The field was bad, lot's of slips and unsure footing and slower ball speed on the ground all caused issues for both teams at different times. The Ref.... we had 5 yellows to Washington's 0.... like what???? felt like some biased calls in Washington's favor many times. Late subs again with little time for our subs to make real impact. Turnovers that lead to counters and extra chances are a continuing issue. We had 62% possession rate but again Washington didn't need the ball that long to make impact plays. It can be good to control but we need to be purposeful with our possessions.
The Absolute Worse
Gorden upon the replay look liked her foot stuck but her body kept moving and her leg/knee twisted up and looked really really bad. I pray and pray that it's minor and we could see her back in a few weeks, but it could be very likely she could be out for the season. However long she's out and without Nielson our back line looks a lot more shaky going forward and Tweed and the rest of our backline will need to make some major adjustments to keep opposing attacks at bay.
Overall
It's another tough loss. We not only lost out on points we potentially lost a major player for the season. We saw some improvement's but also couldn't overcome some major mistakes and breakdowns. Short rest but we're home for our game against the Wave on Thursday. But I wanna say this team doesn't not lay down and give up. They'll all fought the whole damn game and i hopefully they keep their heads high and we push through an get back on the W side this week.

Royal Road here: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/80877/nop-atalors-fate
Discord Tag: notafurrylad
It's been a while, huh?

First Last Next
Memory transcription subject: Yivreen, Cyonian Survivor
Date [standardized human time]: February 22nd, 2134
The flash daymares hadn’t stopped. Four nights since they’d set in, and now those two fire and brimstone eyes were lingering, waiting to come out when I was asleep. I’d thought that first daymare had been a fluke. It’d felt real, getting chomped up like that, crushed. But... ah.
I’d had more. Once I was in the mouth of that Arxur who’d kicked down the tree. Then I was in the cages with Hens Jr and Sr, and Alma... And each time if there was time for it that swampheaded, red eyed, smokey Arxur would come on in. Try and guilt me like I’d done something wrong.
It was working.
“Yiv. Yiv! I think I got it!” I blinked, my stupor broken by Junior. The kid had been a good help with the computer system since we’d let him fiddle with it instead of me. Much to my... begrudging admission: he was better at it. So, I stood from the chair and headed over to him. The monitor and console were lit up good as new, but they’d been like that for a couple nights now. We’d finally got access to a local map when that’d happened. Or rather a map of the surrounding area, outdated as it was it still had the location of the city on it. It wasn’t like anything had significantly changed in the past hundreds of years since this place had been abandoned. It had been the whole ‘trying to page it into the rest of the old systems at the outpost’ part that’d eluded Juniors little pet project.
“What did you get?” I replied, leaning over his shoulder with a paw on the console while he typed at it.
He cleared his throat. “W-well. I was able to find the wire that’d been causing the problem with the connection to the outpost’s server.” A server? What?
“What do you mean a server? I thought the only computer systems in here were in this room?” He turned his head, a brown eye winking at me. “Nuh-uh! Were you even listening when I explained it earlier? It’s more than just a weather monitoring station. It had a server, otherwise why would it need so many type-v connectors. See?” He pointed a claw to the bundle of wiring running up the wall and into a concrete hole that looked to lead to the next floor above us. Probably. I hadn’t really cared about how many wires there were.
“So... there’s more than just the databanks here in this room?” I asked. My eyes were tasked with looking over the monitor with pursed lips. I’d dug through some ye olde outpost files in the past nights for my journalist program but evidently I’d been missing things if all it took was one kid who had a knack for tech to ascertain there was more to these places.
Before my question could be answered though the command lines and startup protocols on the operating system for the thing had popped by and opened up onto a familiar desktop of our more modern tech. Junior went about clicking immediately to some command line and writing in some jibberish... And- my eyes widened. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing my claw to all the commands on his little black background’d screen.

1: Status
2: Logs
3: Garage Door
4: Barrack Override
5: Communications

Were among the top five, with a half dozen more I didn’t quite have time to think on. “Quick- quick! The uh- There’s a garage?” Don’t get distracted Yivreen. Ahhh moss-heaps.. “The Barrack Override. See what that does.”
The boy swatted away my paw trying to push at it. “Calm down! Calm down jeez, fine!” He jammed his digit into the corresponding number and pressed enter. A few moments passed as it simply displayed three dots. I waited... I waited.. Cmoooo-
Clank. VV-vv-vvv-veeeeeee....
It sounded like something behind the wall to our left was trying to unrust itself and move. A couple hundred years of not moving or being maintained had probably ensured it’d never get moving smooth again. Then of course the universe proved me wrong, and the wall actually shifted. The rounded metal slab I’d taken for a part of the tower’s superstructure began to lower, and behind it... “Holy shit.”
I don’t know where the extreme language had come from but... Wow. My eyes lit. Bunks. Bedding. Lockers.. It looked like the room beyond had been some sort of lodging area for soldiery when this place was built. But there’d been a grow-in on the back wall from a massive root. Snaring part of the room in its gripping-vinelike vice grip. The root was long dead, and the hole it’d bored through the concrete had left the inside exposed to the elements a touch more than if it’d just been left... At least there wasn’t much evidence of water damage.
“Yiv? Are you-” But I was already headed through the way, a paw on my pistol as I glanced around the abandoned room. My mind went right to checking out the lockers, which turned out to be a good idea. My little training sessions into understanding the named bits for guns with Alma were about to start paying off.
“We’ve got guns. Or... Something like guns.” I announced, pulling out the carrying case and flipping it open. Inside I found what looked to be a.. Hrm- no magazine, no bullets... I lifted it up, the rifle-like hardened carbon material was in remarkably good shape. Probably due to the case and materials, but something was different about it. I glanced my eyes over it, noting the electronic aiming system on top which... when I clicked at it offered a red circle for looking through the little scope with. Huh. Not a common thing to find on a Cyonian designed weapon, at least not these nights. This place was old, but this weapon looked like it’d been built by something more ambitious than Federation paws. Federation handhelds were all modified from the same combustion based lead belchers. A fact that rarely ever went unspoken on our own networks when we needed a reason to criticize Aafa.
It took a while longer, but eventually I did find a snap-button on the back of the trigger grip that made something inside it hum to life. My eyes widened. “It’s... An energy weapon.” I murmured. My tail flicking in apprehension. Would it even still fire? The red blinking just below the button told me it must have no power perhaps but... “Hey. Junior. You think you could figure out how to charge one of these guys-?”
I turned my head to see the kid standing at the threshold with his tail in his paws, gripping them anxiously. “Yiv. The uh. The communications aren’t working, but I think the garage door might open if we try it. It could be that cropping of wall and sealed door we figured the old power system must have been housed in right?” He glanced to the rifle in my paws. “I mean, if it uses the same standards as the computer out here it should still be compatible with our stuff. But- we don’t have anything to charge power packs of that size.” He pointed to the fixture sticking out the bottom of the stock. Hrm, he was right.
“See if you can’t get the garage open. I’ll keep looking in here and see if there’s something to help with that.” Came my own voice, I felt... Giddy. Alive. The potential to fight back was intoxicating. Before all I’d had was this dinky pistol I’d used to... kill a couple of the greys. But if we could bring the fight to their patrols, save more people-
I shook my head. Why was I thinking like this? I couldn’t stand up to an invasion fleet. I’d been a frightened Sivkit on the first night of the attack. I- I’d stampeded. I couldn’t remember any of it, but the chance I’d trampled someone in my panic was not zero. I might have contributed to someone being crushed... I’d failed Els, that soldier I’d dragged into the house. Obelisk I couldn’t even keep my mind straight in a fight with those howling, laughing Arxur in my head. The campfire fight had been a fluke!
I didn’t quite know how long I just sat there, staring at the rifle beating myself up, but eventually I was shaken from it by Keick when she sat beside me, an arm on my shoulder. “Hey. I heard you and Junior had a bit breakthrough eh?” She said non-chalantly. I could tell though, even with the chipper tone she’d read me. The accountant knew I’d been in one of my little moods. She’d known me the longest of anyone here, everyone else was like... a pack of convenience? Maybe not Junior. Keick and I had survived the woods together. I’d pulled her from her own hells next to that burning car.
“Hey.” I returned back. “Yeah. Junior got the servers working. Or something like that.” I pointed a claw over at the computer, only to notice he was gone now. I blinked. Had I been out of it that long?
Keick filled in the hole in my head. “He went with his old man to go check out the garage.” Oh. Yeah.
I looked around, “Ah. The guns. We have guns now. Real guns.” I explained, holding the one I had in my paws up for her to inspect.
“Doesn’t look like any gun I’ve seen.” She mused back, taking it from my grip. My body was moving on its own now, rummaging deeper into the lockers. Some of these cases had been broken by the snaring, smaller branches of the grow-in. The firearms within cracked open and busted. Probably no good at all, exposed to the ambient humidity as they had been for so long. Still, couple of the other rifle cases were good. We had weapons, plural. Binoculars? Got em. Spare power packs that needed charging? Got em. There was a lot of survival gear here. Like a militarized ranger outpost had been stationed here. The synthetic material of the camouflaged cloak I found proudly proclaimed it’d reflect thermal scanning on its faded label even! “Either the old rangers from before the treaties were really into operator stuff or the Obelisk put all this here just for us.” I murmured.
Keick, for her part seemed to be looking it all over with a little inventory in her head. Already tapping in the number of each item into her dataslate. “Well. I’d go with the former. The Obelisk hasn’t been around for us lately.” Came the reply as she poked a claw at one of the now entirely spoiled ration packs. “Still, there’s enough stuff here you could arm a squad of soldiers probably. If you know where we can find some spare soldiers that is.”
I flicked my ear at the poor humoured joke. “Ahuh.” Came my reply. “Maybe you should go try the radio again, they’d love to get their paws on stuff like this I think. Pre-war tech actually made to fight predators like this is rare.” Which begged the question... Why did the cloak boast about defeating thermals? These outposts were dated after our discovery and incorporation into the Federation as an early member, and WELL before the Arxur war. So why had we built cloaks like these? Was this equipment used during the years when we’d resisted the burning of our forests and jungles? If so, it meant it might have been auhh... much more violent then the archives made it out to be. Maybe there was a story here? My inner journalist was theorizing.
___________________________
I’d had to pick my jaw up off the ground after headed over to the garage. Hens Senior and Alma were leaned over the the opened hood of what looked like a remarkably still intact forest rover. The design was actually recognizable, having not changed much from what we had tonight. Six thick grooved tires, a buggy-like cockpit four seater set in the middle, and a back and top rack for storing anything you could want. “Is it working?” I asked the obvious as I stepped inside, noting Junior sat off to the side, fiddling with some wall mounted box or other. He didn’t look to actually know what he was doing beyond dusting it off and giving it a deep stare.
“I wouldn’t think so.” Came the chime of Keick, who’d followed me inside. It was around now my monocular visioned eyes were noting the various tools and spare parts laying around in the garage. Whoever had last been here had left in a hurry seemingly, because it was mostly stocked. No mess on all the immensely dusty parts. I could see a couple smaller fauna in the corners. A lizard here, a rodent there. Obviously there had been some way they’d chewed their way in at some point... Or they’d come in when the door was opened to the bustle and noise of the forest to my back.
It was Senior who looked back at my question, standing to his full height before leaning his back against the old vehicle. “No. It isn’t working. Or at least it won’t be until I figure a way to give the battery juice.” I tilted my head.
“Is it one of those older ones that zap out after a hundred years or so?” Came my obvious question.
He flicked his tail no. “It’s got one of the standard ones, it’s just that it stopped auto-cycling a couple hundred years ago. The electric motor looks like it should work if we pop it on. But we’ll have to see.” He glanced around the workshop. “I want to say we could probably get it working with the tools we have, but if the battery can’t be jumped, or it’s spent, or the motor needs a complete replacement we’re up a creek on getting it working.” It sounded like he knew a bit about it.
The feeling of my face scrunching ever so much came. “You didn’t tell me you were a handyman.” I said, crossing my arms.
“Well it never came up.” He said back with an affable smile. “Listen, it’s been a long couple weeks. Don’t get all spotty with me. We didn’t have anything a hobbying mechanic could fix anyhow.” Just a roll of the eyes from myself is all that met him as Keick spoke up, stepping over to the other three.
“So what’re you gonna jump it with?” She asked incredulously, leaning over the open cabin. From there I sort of... zoned out. All the older Cyonians present were bickering and blathering about the buggy which was quickly losing interest for me. I didn’t understand anything about mechanics like that beyond the bare minimum, so it was out of my purview. If they got it working that’d be another thing but I wouldn’t have been any help right now, so instead I placed a couple careful paws down until I was beside Junior, sitting next to him as he seemed to be eyeballing some far too faded label.
He had a paw lightly rubbing out the dust that’d caked an outlet, still one brown eye fixed on the label. All I could make out myself was the little yellow square symbol warning of an electric charge hazard. Weird to think even now those hadn’t changed. Had Federation technology really not changed all that much? Was it just us? A sigh. “So. What’s got your your nose twitching little dude?”
The past couple nights he’d gotten better with his anger, and... hadn’t destroyed any important tech in a fit of rage. All he’d needed was something to set himself to in a difficult situation like this. Keich had been right to set him on that computer. And.. I’d felt myself trying to encourage him along the way. Partly because I had an investment in getting those maps, and then partly because he’d ended up filling in a spot in my head like a younger cousin. Him and his old man had only been around for a little bit, but I guess maybe I didn’t want to think too hard about what had probably happened to my real family. For now, maybe I felt the most ‘at home’ around Keich and this little tinkerer. Was that weird? It felt like it should be weird.
He answered, looking up with a small upturn in his lips. “I think I found your energy cell charger for those guns you had.” He said simply. “One of the manuals over there wasn’t totally ruined, I saw something about a ‘optical projector weapon’ and ‘charger’ so I was trying to figure out if this was it. I... Think it might be, but I’d need one of those batteries to make sure.”
Now I felt like smirking. “Oh yeah? Well go get one swamp brain. Let’s see if these things still work huh?” Dutifully, he was up and off, tail shaking behind him in what I recognized as excitement. We weren’t totally defenceless anymore, and if the buggy could be salvaged there would be a means at least to relocate if we had to. Or... Maybe I could take a trip down to the city and paint a couple more of those scumbags red-
I shook my head. Where had that thought come from? If I was going back to Ataln it was to try and save more people... Yeah. I still needed to see if Gael was alive, maybe check that old house I’d left Els in. I don’t even know if I could find it now, knowing how scatterbrained I’d been at the time but- making a return to at least try seemed worth it.
Regardless, the box on the wall did turn out to be the correct port to charge energy cells for the guns. We’d just need to rig it up to the solar power system and juice them up to test them. Things were looking up! Our mobility had the potential to go from nights in every direction for shelter to mere hours, I’d just have to hope Senior knew what he was doing.
“Hey. Buddy.” I’d wrapped my arm around Junior’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go take a break for now huh? You were working on the computer all night. Maybe it’d be a good idea to just go relax. Enjoy how much you got done eh?” Besides. Gave me a good way to check out the logs page on the computer system myself before he stumbled on anything. It wasn’t like I didn’t trust him with it but- well there was no way to know what was in those logs.
He nodded, and with that I stood up, streeeetched out, and headed toward the tower. “Good, it’s your shift on the guard tower anyway.” I intoned politely. It was going to be a long day, assuming there was anything of substance in those logs... Scrounging through those would be preferable to sleeping right now anyway.

Species: Dog, Bernese mountain dog
Age: 6 months, 65lbs
Intact female
Medications: Simparica trio
Symptoms: dark urine & purulent smelly vaginal discharge
My puppy has had recurrent vaginitis since 3 months old that we have treated with probiotics, chlorhexidrine wipes and keeping her clean. Recently, she had a particularly bad bout of vaginitis with yellow-green discharge, licking, and skin abrasions. We took her to the vet who ran some tests and determined the skin abrasion was chub rub (his words not mine lol) and that he believed she had an ascending bladder infection. However, the bladder culture came back negative so now I'm at a loss for what may be happening. I'm hoping to get some info ahead of her follow up appointment with her primary vet on Tuesday.
Vet test results: UA_Analyzer 05-12-24 12:06p Collec Cystocentesis Color Dark Yellow Clar Very Cloudy SG 1.055 pH 7.0 LEU neg PRO 1+ GLU neg KET neg UBG 1+ BIL neg BLD 4+
WBC 5 /HPF RBC >50 /HPF BACr None detected BACc None detected sqEPI None detected nsEPI 1 - 2 /HPF HYA None detected nhCST None detected CRY None detected CaOxDi None detected STR None detected BIURAT None detected BILI None detected
Probiotics has not cleared up the vaginitis this time and her urine continues to remain dark. The vet said that there were so many RBC in the original count that the machine had a mini panic attack.
Questions: - What differential would you suggest?

• What further tests should we be running?

<>
/uw hi! this is my first (and probably not only?) lorepost as Monarch! this is mainly gonna be written in the third person, so out of character, and with bits of dialogue. enjoy! /rw
Monarch was born into royalty. The royal family of Cascadia, to be exact. His mother and father were kind people, and harsh but fair rulers. Together, they ruled over all of Cascadia, commanding armies, ruling their people, and taking care of Monarch, their only son. For 17 years, all was peaceful.
Until the Federation, a global superpower, began using Cascadian resources to wage war on their enemies. The rulers didn't like this, so they attempted to withdraw from the Federation, rescinding their membership. And when the people heard of this....
Suddenly, Monarch, a young adult, still technically a child, was escorted from the castle, the place he had been all his life, to go to an unknown, secure place. As he was rushed from the castle, an explosion went off behind as planes had begun to fly overhead. One message was clear; The monarchy was dead. A civil war had begun.
Monarch was thrust into a world he knew nothing about: a war he knew nothing about. So he ran. Ran like hell, until the world stopped spinning and he was away from the chaos. He ran from the people meant to protect him, trusting nobody. All he knew was that he was in danger, his parents were dead; and he. wanted. vengance.
The war waged on for several years, but only quietly. The anti-Federation forces struggled against the global superpower, and their pro-Federation forces: people who used to be part of Cascadia. The traitors. Monarch, in the meantime, was training. He was going to be a pilot. A fighter. However, he failed out of flight school, for "taking too many unnecessary risks". He, personally, disagreed. He thought it was funny.
However, in his time at the flight school, he was noticed by someone. A man named Arnold Frenken, going by the callsign Kaiser. He was the leader of a mercenary group, and he liked how Monarch flew. Monarch agreed to join this merc group, one named Sicario. In the beginning of his time at Sicario, he proved himself to everyone by out-killing them on his FIRST CONTRACT.
After this contract, he was put in a group with three others: A girl with the callsign Prez; real name Robin; who was assigned as Monarch's co-pilot. She was the only co-pilot able to keep up with the insane g-forces Monarch consistently put himself through. A boy, callsign Diplomat, more often called Dip; real name Peter. He was assigned as one of Monarch's wingmen, Hitman 2. He was the son of a political ally of the king and queen; one who died in the same castle bombing as Monarch's parents. He was a good pilot, and was in the Cascadian Air Force before deserting at the same time as the next member of Hitman Squad. Another girl, callsign Comic; real name Evelyn. Another former Air Force member, having been discharged, then picked up by Kaiser at the same time as Monarch and Dip. All together, they were known as Hitman Squadron. They were the best that the Sicario group had, and sent on high-value missions.
During all this, Monarch slowly began being referred to by others as "the King of the Sky." This all culminated in his callsign being given to him, not created by him: "Monarch." It helped that he had.... somewhat of a collection of butterflies. He had always liked them... so had his mother.
One day, after a contract, Sicario was contacted by the anti-Federation forces. They needed help, and they were willing to pay. The war had settled for around 2 years, each side seemingly building up resources for a large clash that hadn't come. But the message was clear. It was time.
The war began. Sicario was sent first to reclaim parts of the country, then destroy certain parts of Federation infrastructure. Until their sixth mission. It seemed like a normal mission, and the objectives were completed by Hitman Squadron. Until the Peacekeepers arrived. The Peacekeepers were the Federation's best air fighters, only deployed to contain major threats. The squadron was the infamous Crimson squad: the best pilots that the Federation had. As all the other Cascadian forces retreated in a panic, Monarch realized something. This was the squadron that bombed the castle. This was the squadron that killed his parents.
Monarch, despite the warnings from his squad members, Sicario's leader, and even his co-pilot Prez, charged them. Despite taking some hits, and flying slightly sloppily due to the pure rage he was in, managed to shoot down one of the Crimson members, leading to their hasty retreat. As Monarch and Prez landed at the base and stepped out of the plane, they were met with nothing but silent, incredulous looks.
The war waged on. Monarch knew his target. He just waited. Kept carrying out missions. Until they got their biggest one yet. Over the Bering Strait, the biggest air battle in history was about to take place. A purely air-to-air combat scenario. This was to decide who had the best air force, and who won the war by extension. Hitman flew into the area, seeing nothing but planes, missiles, and smoke. They flew into combat, and the communications array lit up as both enemy and friendly comms could be heard.
Allied Pilot: We got new mercenary IFFs in the area, who do we got? Allied Pilot: Positive contact, looks like Sicario's here! Allied Pilot: Yeah, well, the only team worth a damn is Hitman! Federation Pilot: Watch it, those pilots that the Peacekeepers keep talking about are here. Federation Pilot: That asshole with the Crown with them? Allied Pilot: Their flight lead is worth every cent we’re paying him, look at him. Allied Pilot: I didn’t think mercenaries like that were around anymore, not after Oceania. Federation Pilot: Taking on a king in a battle royale, just our luck.
They knew who he was. They ALL knew who he was. Or at least... they knew his callsign. They didn't know that behind that visor, that pilot's helmet, was the rightful prince of Cascadia. More chatter was heard.
Allied Pilot: “Monarch?” Hell of a TAC name. Allied Pilot: Self-proclaimed? Sicario Pilot: Entire kingdoms are founded by people like him. Allied Pilot: He’s still a merc. Mercenary Pilot: Not every king is just.
They couldn't know. He could trust nobody but those who already knew.
Federation Pilot: Put a crosshair on that Crown, we take out the king and the rest will fall!
Federation Pilot: That flight being led by the Crown, those are the ones who got away from Crimson. Federation Pilot: We’ll show those blowhards what a salt-of-the-earth pilot can do.
They... They thought he was the leader of the rebellion. The figurehead. The king. As he shot more and more down, he smiled. In the midst of the pure chaos that was this air combat, he felt calm.
AWACS Galaxy: We’ve got inbound, pop-up bandit group at bearing 230, looks like they pulled back for one last push, there's a lot of them. AWACS Galaxy: IFF confirmed, Federation Peacekeeping Squadron Crimson identified with more reinforcements, this is it! Hitman 2 Diplomat: Ah shit...
Crimson 1: Crimson Squadron, ready the MLAAs, we’re putting an end to this party. Crimson Pilot: Looks like it’s those mercenaries, think they might turn tail and run again? Crimson 1: Not this time, open fire.
And as he heard Crimson Team arrive, he was enraged as before. And he did something he never had before, at least while flying; he spoke. Just one word.
Monarch: <>
And combat began. Monarch ended up shooting down half of Crimson team before they retreated, and he was still tempted to follow them. He was only calmed down when he noticed something: All of the friendly pilots had formed up on him. They were all following him. It was a sign of... respect.
Perhaps he was more of a leader than he thought.
The war waged on.
And then the capitol of Cascadia, it's pride and joy, Presidia, was hit with a nuclear bomb that set off cordium in the ground, causing a cataclysmic event and turning the land into a fiery hellscape. Despite this, Monarch and the rest of Sicario survived, shooting down many along the way. Encountering Crimson Team one final time. Shooting them all down. Until it was time for one final battle. And in the middle of this final battle, this climax to the war...
A ceasefire. The war was over. Cascadia and the Federation were.... stopping? Just like that? Monarch was... angry. His parents died for THIS? Despite this boiling rage.... Monarch accepted it. But someone else... someone else had not.
A sudden explosion. Presidia was turned into a fiery crater in an instant. A bomb, a nuclear bomb, had gone off. No. It had been set off. By HIM. Crimson 1. Monarch's rival, his Federation counterpart. One final duel. No wingmen, no reinforcements, nothing. Just Monarch, his trusted co-pilot Prez, and Crimson.
Hitman 1 WSO Prez: I don't know if I can do this, Monarch...I'm braced...
Prez was scared. Monarch knew that. But this was no time to run. He needed this fight.
<>
Crimson 1: You're a slave to history, Crimson 1: even after Calamity, you fight against the only order that can guarantee the safety of your people, Crimson 1: you solely are responsible for this.
Monarch absorbed every word Crimson said. But he didn't care. It was time to gun down the man who caused this. Who destroyed his country. Who killed his parents.
Crimson 1: What do you have to show for yourself, merc, blood? Gold? A broken throne?^\note 1]) Crimson 1: I will bury you so completely, the earth will turn over a thousand times before your body is dug up.
Shut up.
Crimson 1: You can't run, you can't hide, you made this decision long ago, you can't back out of this deal!
Shut up.
Crimson 1: I'm Cascadian, you think I take joy fighting over my homeland, killing my own countrymen?![^\note 2])](https://projectwingman.fandom.com/wiki/Transcript:Kings#cite_note-note2-2) Crimson 1: If you never showed up, I never would have lost all that I have!

SHUT UP.

They flew, firing at each other, Monarch putting himself and Prez through extreme g-forces to keep up with the former Peacekeeper, who was in some sort of experimental aircraft. But eventually, he landed enough hits to make Crimson speak again.
Hitman 1 WSO Prez: [grunts] God-[grunts] Monarch...I can't keep up...I can't...I can't...
Hitman 1 WSO Prez: I'm...sorry... [thud]
Prez was down. Monarch knew that. Whether she was passed out from the g-forces, or.....
Best not to think the worst. He would win this. For her.
Crimson 1: Me and you now. No distractions, no wingmen, no war, just me and you, whoever wins is the best pilot. Crimson 1: Every safety's coming off, no second chances.
No second chances. Kill him.
Crimson 1: "Monarch," you use the name of a king, but what do you rule over, the dead?! The Federation fought for peace in this war and you denied them that! Crimson 1: The people of Cascadia, do you know what you've taken from them?! Their homes! And for what, to secede from the world?! What, you think you can fight this war again in 50 years' time, do you really think history will see it your way?! Crimson 1: You don't even care why you're here!
To avenge him. Her. His people.
Crimson 1: How does it feel to not have a country, to not have borders to define yourself against the world?
This WAS his country. His borders. His people.
Crimson 1: The Calamity erased mankind once, our chance to start again, this is how you've dealt with it?!
Silence. Monarch still offered no response. Crimson was getting angrier and angrier. Let him slip up. Then strike.
Crimson 1: You drove me to this...this death and destruction over the Federation, millions of lives lost... [sighs] So many ghosts... Kill me...or be killed!

Kill. Kill. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. Kill.

Monarch kept flying. He needed to do this. End this. Reclaim his country.
Crimson 1: This is my home!
His as well.
Crimson 1: Here we are, fighting for Cascadia's soul. Crimson 1: That's the deal you made, right?
Cascadia's soul was rightfully his. He was the pri- no. Monarch was the king. It's just that nobody knew it yet.
Crimson 1: What happens when you shoot me down?! Can you even think?! What will you return to?! Where will you go?! We both know how this ends!
What... would happen? Would he rule? Reclaim? or simply... fade away?
Crimson 1: Kill me, kill me and see what happens to this world! Crimson 1: Either way, your life ends today! Crimson 1: And my squadron, do you think they deserved it?!
And Monarch spoke his first, and only words of the fight. Not to Crimson, but to himself: <>
Crimson 1: The Federation might try to forget about you, but I won't, this is for the good of the world, Crimson 1: die, mercenary!
But it wouldn't be Monarch dying that day.
Crimson 1: No...no, not yet!
It was time.
Crimson 1: God damn it, Crimson 1: come on, I've almost got him!
The truth was there.
Crimson 1: [panting and angry screaming]
They were both incredible pilots, fighting until the bitter end.
Crimson 1: Come on, come in for that kill, you dog!
But Monarch was simply....
Crimson 1: God damn! [coughs]
Better.
System: Hostile Eliminated.

Crimson 1 was shot down.

Crimson 1: Monarch, when you hear the thunder...
<<...?>> Crimson 1: ...when the storm...comes for you...
<<...>> Crimson 1: ...remember me.
<<....I will.>>
And as Crimson went down, Monarch flew away, towards the others. And as he landed, he got Prez out of her seat, praying she woke up. And as she did, they hugged tight.
Both of them sat for a moment, before the plane's communication systems crackled back to life.
Hitman 3 Comic: Transmitting a beacon. Dust Mother, he better pick this up...
Assassin 1 Kaiser: They had to take this from us! We'll burn them all, we’ll burn down the Federation!
Hitman 2 Diplomat: Eve? Eve!
Hitman 3 Comic: [gasps] Hey, I’m over here! Hell's bells, I was about three seconds away from putting a bullet in you!
Hitman 2 Diplomat: It's alright, I probably deserved it at some point, are you good to move?
Hitman 3 Comic: Yeah, yeah. It's all gone to hell, the world is about to be remade.
Hitman 2 Diplomat: We're finished here, we gotta disappear for a bit, I don't want to get caught up in what's coming.
Hitman 3 Comic: What about what we're owed?
Hitman 2 Diplomat: Monarch will collect.
Monarch: <>
They traced Monarch and Prez to the plane, and all of Hitman squad simply.... sat.
Monarch: <>

Later....

Cascadia was whole again. As the world worked together to rebuild the destroyed lands, they all promised that never again would another war of this scale be allowed to happen. Of course, there were still rebellious groups. Groups that needed mercenaries to clear those rebellious groups out. And Monarch was thrust into the world's light, as not only the son of the former King and Queen of Cascadia, but the killer of Crimson 1.
However, instead of becoming a king, he created a council. A council of those he trusted, his "family". The ones who would hold power over certain parts of the country. But he never truly lost his lust for the air, for adrenaline. So he gave power of the country to them, and.... simply went back to being the best mercenary the world had ever seen.
Until the Pilot rolled around. Or, more aptly: flew around. He was from another universe, one that supposedly had... wizards? Magic? Of course, Monarch was intrigued. This "Pilot" man also seemed to... know who Monarch and Prez were, and specifically asked for them. So he followed.
<>
*Monarch stands, and walks away.*
/uw HOLY SHIT! This might be the longest thing i've ever written, at more than 8 PAGES. This took me like 2 and a half hours. hope you enjoyed!