My vision was blurry and my head ached as I regained consciousness. Where was I? I was surrounded by walls covered with ugly yellow wallpaper, and the floor was made of rough brown carpet. I carefully pushed myself up off the uncomfortable ground. How did I get here? I wandered around a bit, but everything looked the same. Brown, and yellow. I tried to think hard about how I had gotten here or who I even was, but my head still ached, and nothing came to mind. The walls seemed to form some sort of maze. I aimlessly wandered for what felt like hours. I once again turned a corner, however, this time I got an unsettling feeling, like I wasn't alone anymore. I hadn't actually seen or heard anything, but I suddenly felt the urge to run and hide. It was like my fight or flight had kicked in, and I chose to run. I ran as fast as I could past so many more yellow walls. Until, suddenly, I fell through the old, worn, carpet my feet had once been touching. (go back to start, it repeats!)
A short backrooms inspired story I wrote in a note book a few months ago and just rediscovered. Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed! feel free to leave constructive criticism.

I have a positive story to share. I avoid this sub for the most part unless I’m in a bad place mentally, but I’ve been wanting to share. I will try to keep a very long story short.
I’ve had emetophobia since I was as young as 4. It only cropped up if someone got sick near me or if someone in my house was sick, but for the most part it didn’t bother me on a daily basis.
Shortly after having my daughter, my husband got a series of sb* right in a row. I was already dealing with PPD/PPA, and this sent me over the edge. It got BAD. I barely remember the first two years of my daughter’s life. At my worst, I spent an entire trip in New York in the hotel room because I was convinced I was sick (I wasn’t). My husband actually got sick on another trip, and I left him in another state, booked him a separate flight home, to avoid sitting next to him. Just painting a picture of how bad it was. For a period of time, I was suicidal, I was taking Xanax around the clock just to get through the day, and I got on Zoloft to help manage.
I took up a pretty strict lifestyle where I went to therapy weekly (still do), took an MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course, and took up yoga. Over the course of a year and a half doing that, I was able to get off medication completely and deal with my symptoms as they crop up.
Since my daughter started school, it’s been tough, but I make it through. My husband handles when she does get sick (not often) and I usually go to my mom’s house.
UNTIL. We were recently on a camping trip in our camper. My daughter got sick on the FIRST night we were there, the only night we didn’t have a campsite with hookups. No running water, we discovered we didn’t have bleach, and I had a panic attack and decided I couldn’t do it. I got a hotel room across the street, literally bought a separate hotel room for her to shower in, and I was 100% prepared to get an Uber to the airport and fly home the next morning. There was no way I would be able to stay for a whole week in a confined space like that. What if my husband or I got it next?
The next morning I checked on her and had my finger on the button to call an Uber. She told me she felt bad for ruining the trip. I realized in that moment that if I left, I would be proving her right. My husband was extremely supportive and told me he would not be upset if I left but that he would love if I would stay. So I made the decision to stay. I went to Walmart, bought bleach and Lysol and new sheets, cleaned the camper from top to bottom, and tried to enjoy the day outside.
We actually had the BEST trip. No one else got sick. We made SO MANY MEMORIES that I would’ve missed out on by leaving. I’m so so glad I stayed. It was an emotional week for me, and I was so glad everyone in my life realized what a huge step it was for me.
I’m sharing this because I know there are people here like me who believe they can’t do it and that it will never get better. But it CAN. Since I got back, I haven’t been constantly washing my hands or using Zylast like usual. It hasn’t been on my mind 24/7 like usual. I still get anxious when I hear about it, but it’s not occupying my brain all day long anymore.
Tonight, my husband is out of town. The worst time she could possibly get sick. We’re watching a movie and she tells me she thinks she’s going to get sick. I freaked out for a moment, took a Xanax (I rarely take them now) to calm myself, but was able to calm down and figure out a plan. I got everything ready in case it happened. I called my mom and she came over for a while. I still don’t know if she’s going to be okay, but I’m sitting here NOT wanting to die over it. Knowing that whatever happens, we will be okay. Knowing that I can do it.

Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/brightcom-made-a-profit-by-hiding (my newsletter Boring Money. If you like what you read, do visit the link and subscribe to receive future posts directly in your inbox)

The standard way for a company to make a profit is to produce a thing at some cost, then sell that thing at a higher cost, and pocket the difference. Another, if slightly frowned upon, way of making a profit is to not worry too much about what your company is producing or selling. Instead, at the end of the quarter, you can pick up your financial statements, take a pen, put some nice numbers under “revenue” and erase the numbers under “expenses”. On paper, the company’s making a profit either way.
The risk, apart from running out of money, is that the company might get caught. This month, Brightcom Group, an ad-tech company, got caught. [1] Here’s a SEBI enforcement order describing the stuff Brightcom did, and one of the many things it did was to show profits which didn’t exist.
Some intangible assets are under development
If your company buys, say, a truck, the standard way to account for this expense in your books is by dividing the cost of the truck by the number of years you expect this truck to last, and then adding this number to your expenses every year. This is slightly weird because you do pay cash upfront for the truck. But still, it’s useful to not have to call it an expense just for the first year because it is an asset that lasts many, many years.
If you buy a truck, account for it the standard way I described above, but then the truck meets with an accident and gets trashed the next day? Then that’s it. You have to now account for the full expense of the truck in one go and can’t split it into chunks every year.
In short, as long as an asset is “alive,” you can split its expense into chunks and account for each chunk every year. If it’s “dead,” you have to account for it right away.
Modern accounting is surprisingly thoughtful and there’s a weird in-between “alive” and “dead” that it allows for. Instead of buying an asset, if you’re building it, your asset is in some sense neither dead nor alive. So you can just, umm, add nothing to your expenses until you figure if your asset is actually dead or alive.
Brightcom was spending a lot on salaries, marketing, and stuff, but it didn’t want to show these expenses. So it decided that it wasn’t “spending” but instead “investing” in building an asset. From SEBI’s order, here’s Brightcom’s CFO:

Brightcom was building software and this software would eventually be an intangible asset. But, until Brightcom could figure whether this asset would eventually be dead or alive, it didn’t count any of its expenses as expenses, instead put it under an “intangible assets under development” category. This way, the company could show a nice profit because all its expenses were apparently assets. In all, the company hid ₹863 crore ($100 million) and showed a profit of ₹440 crore ($50 million) in 2020. If its expenses had actually been counted as expenses, Brightcom would’ve shown a loss of ₹428 crore.
https://preview.redd.it/a2xn3xc5bb1d1.jpg?width=762&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b9bfd5cd84b25807c6025ad9a26980abc57d2da
Asset’s dead but it’s not an expense
One problem with showing your expenses as an “asset under development” is that this asset can’t be under development forever. At some point, depending on if this asset is dead or alive, you have to account for your expenses in some way.
… Or not. If your company makes any money, you put those figures in your profit and loss statement. This is simple and straightforward. But accounting isn’t simple and straightforward. If your company makes money, but it’s not a result of your actual business, then you can’t put it under the P&L. Instead, you have to account for it under a separate subheading called “Other Comprehensive Income”.
The idea behind this new sub-head is that the company's P&L is supposed to reflect its actual ability to make money. If you hold a lot of dollars and the price of the dollar goes up (or down), your company didn’t really do anything to make that profit (or loss) so you’d put it under Other Comprehensive Income and not in your P&L. So stuff like this wouldn’t affect your profit, on paper at least. [2]
Yes, of course, Brightcom recognised the ₹863 crore loss that it had hidden under “intangible assets under development” by categorising it as Other Comprehensive Income. SEBI wasn’t excited about it.
Share this post so that Boring Money can move from “asset under development” to P&L
Sell your stake but keep quiet about it
If a company is doing well, its founders don’t usually sell stock. So if a founder sells some shares, they have to tell everyone about it by regulation, because it could be a sign that things aren’t well.
There are three entities that need to know if a founder sells stock:

1. The company itself, via its registrar and transfer agent (RTA)
2. Depositories that hold stock on behalf of investors
3. Stock exchanges

1 and #2 are important, but they’re obvious. The company has to know if its founders sell stock, and so does the depository that actually moves the stock from one account to another. #3 is how the rest of the rest of the world gets to know. A founder sells some stock, files a disclosure in a stock exchange, the exchange updates its records and screams out that this has happened, and that’s how public investors know.

In March 2014, if you had asked Brightcom’s RTA, a depository, or a stock exchange about how much stake its founders owned, they would’ve all said, “about 40%”. If you asked them again in June 2022, the RTA and the depository would say “about 3.5%”, but the stock exchange would scratch its head and say “18.47%”.
That’s because Brightcom’s founders—primarily CEO Suresh Reddy, his friends and family—sold their stock but didn’t inform the stock exchanges. Here’s what they said when SEBI asked what’s up:

Man, I’m just some dumb guy writing about finance every once in a while, and even I know that if you pledge your shares as collateral to get a loan, you don’t transfer ownership. You just inform your depository and investors about it, and you still own the shares. Reddy & Friends transferred some of their shares to someone else (that is, sold them) and decided not to inform the stock exchanges. Then they used pledging as an excuse and everyone had different answers about how much stock they really owned.
How much money they make tho
When a company’s stock price shoots up in a short period of time, and there’s no concrete reason for it to happen, in all likelihood, it’s a scam. The management of the company may or may not be involved, but it definitely helps if they are.
Last month, I wrote about Sadhna, a company that SEBI charged with running a pump-and-dump. The founders owned a lot of shares, they spread some false news, the share price shot up, then happily sold their stock to naive investors, and made a profit. If you see Brightcom’s share price trajectory without knowing any of the company’s other shenanigans, it might seem a similar story. The stock price was around ₹3 in January 2021. By December, it was at ₹117. 40X in a year is definitely not normal.
In a pump-and-dump, it’s important for those running the fraud to own shares before the price goes up. The fraud that Reddy & Friends are accused of, which I described above, was of selling stock and hiding the fact that they sold it. By early 2021, they had in fact sold 80% of their shares and it’s only later that the share price started going up.
But wait, here’s more from SEBI:

In 2020 and 2021, Brightcom sold a large chunk (almost 15% stake) of shares to a group of investors. [3] Later, Suresh Reddy—who had been selling Brightcom shares all these years—became a partner at these entities that had just bought a large chunk of stock.
It’s all a bit confusing but here’s what I think happened. In late 2020 and early 2021, it had become apparent if you called yourself a tech company, investors would push your price up. The finer details didn’t matter. Brightcom, of course, happened to be an “ad-tech” company. So there was a decent chance that its share price would go up (or it could be made to go up, there are ways). But since Reddy & Friends had already sold nearly all of their shares, they needed to buy more shares so that they could sell them when the price went up. But they couldn’t buy them directly—because how would they justify selling shares so soon?—so they got some proxy investors to do so on their behalf.
As expected, the share price did go up. A lot. Around the same time, SEBI started investigating the company because of all the shady stuff it had done over the years. If the proxy investors were to sell this stock now, SEBI would definitely catch on, it was already investigating them! So instead of selling any shares at crazy high prices, Reddy instead came out with his association with those proxy investors so that the total founder ownership would go back up to the exact amount expected [4] by the public, that is, 18.47%.
It’s possible that Reddy & Friends made some profit but SEBI says it needs more information to be sure about just how much it would be. It would’ve been easier to know had they also run a pump-and-dump for good measure.
Footnotes
[1] Technically, Brightcom got caught earlier when SEBI actually started investigating. But it’s just this month that SEBI put a nice document out with whatever its investigation found.
[2] This “Other Comprehensive Income” should be a small number. If it’s a huge figure more than your actual profit, there’s usually something fishy happening.
[3] Brightcom didn’t directly sell shares to the group of investors. Instead, it issued warrants. What this meant was that the investors had the right, but not the obligation, to buy shares from the company at a fixed price at a later date. This was a good way for these investors (who are now part of the founder group) to not risk too much money buying shares in case the price went down.
[4] Reminder, the reason that the public expected the founder group to own 18.47% was that they hadn’t informed the stock exchanges when they had reduced their stake.
Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/brightcom-made-a-profit-by-hiding

My vision was blurry and my head ached as I regained consciousness. Where was I? I was surrounded by walls covered with ugly yellow wallpaper, and the floor was made of rough brown carpet. I carefully pushed myself up off the uncomfortable ground. How did I get here? I wandered around a bit, but everything looked the same. Brown, and yellow. I tried to think hard about how I had gotten here or who I even was, but my head still ached, and nothing came to mind. The walls seemed to form some sort of maze. I aimlessly wandered for what felt like hours. I once again turned a corner, however, this time I got an unsettling feeling, like I wasn't alone anymore. I hadn't actually seen or heard anything, but I suddenly felt the urge to run and hide. It was like my fight or flight had kicked in, and I chose to run. I ran as fast as I could past so many more yellow walls. Until, suddenly, I fell through the old, worn, carpet my feet had once been touching. (go back to start, it repeats!)
A short backrooms inspired story I wrote in a note book a few months ago and just rediscovered. Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed! feel free to leave constructive criticism.

"It seems to me you’ve probably had enough teaching, but the tendency is to always want to hear more, to compare and to end up in doubt as a result." I started reading The Collected Teachings of Ajahn Chah a few days ago and this line from the Dhamma goes Westward really struck a cord with me. I've sort of danced with Buddhism for several years, but also other spiritual practices. Recently, I've been drawn to giving it some more serious contemplation and application in the day to day.
I have this habit, however, whenever I begin to study a topic, I need to have like every book written on that topic, then if there are different schools of thought on said topic, I like those as well. And in the end I create this daunting amount of information that really doesn't leave me with a practical way to practice what I'm learning. I've been guilty of that even with Buddhist literature, I bought most of the Nikayas a few years ago when I thought let's learn about Buddhism but only recently have started a sutta practice where I've gradually begun working through the Middle Length first. But initially, I created this daunting amount of info for myself haha.
Anyways, I just thought it was cool to have this moment of recognition and see how I'm trying to resolve that craving for more and make full use of what I already have. I've been dedicating a lot of time lately to dhamma study(I have a decent amount of time to read at my new job) and keeping my meditation practice steady and so it was just a cool moment and for me and I don't have a Sangha so I wanted to share.

Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/brightcom-made-a-profit-by-hiding (my newsletter Boring Money. If you like what you read, do visit the link and subscribe to receive future posts directly in your inbox)

The standard way for a company to make a profit is to produce a thing at some cost, then sell that thing at a higher cost, and pocket the difference. Another, if slightly frowned upon, way of making a profit is to not worry too much about what your company is producing or selling. Instead, at the end of the quarter, you can pick up your financial statements, take a pen, put some nice numbers under “revenue” and erase the numbers under “expenses”. On paper, the company’s making a profit either way.
The risk, apart from running out of money, is that the company might get caught. This month, Brightcom Group, an ad-tech company, got caught. [1] Here’s a SEBI enforcement order describing the stuff Brightcom did, and one of the many things it did was to show profits which didn’t exist.
Some intangible assets are under development
If your company buys, say, a truck, the standard way to account for this expense in your books is by dividing the cost of the truck by the number of years you expect this truck to last, and then adding this number to your expenses every year. This is slightly weird because you do pay cash upfront for the truck. But still, it’s useful to not have to call it an expense just for the first year because it is an asset that lasts many, many years.
If you buy a truck, account for it the standard way I described above, but then the truck meets with an accident and gets trashed the next day? Then that’s it. You have to now account for the full expense of the truck in one go and can’t split it into chunks every year.
In short, as long as an asset is “alive,” you can split its expense into chunks and account for each chunk every year. If it’s “dead,” you have to account for it right away.
Modern accounting is surprisingly thoughtful and there’s a weird in-between “alive” and “dead” that it allows for. Instead of buying an asset, if you’re building it, your asset is in some sense neither dead nor alive. So you can just, umm, add nothing to your expenses until you figure if your asset is actually dead or alive.
Brightcom was spending a lot on salaries, marketing, and stuff, but it didn’t want to show these expenses. So it decided that it wasn’t “spending” but instead “investing” in building an asset. From SEBI’s order, here’s Brightcom’s CFO:

Brightcom was building software and this software would eventually be an intangible asset. But, until Brightcom could figure whether this asset would eventually be dead or alive, it didn’t count any of its expenses as expenses, instead put it under an “intangible assets under development” category. This way, the company could show a nice profit because all its expenses were apparently assets. In all, the company hid ₹863 crore ($100 million) and showed a profit of ₹440 crore ($50 million) in 2020. If its expenses had actually been counted as expenses, Brightcom would’ve shown a loss of ₹428 crore.
https://preview.redd.it/a2xn3xc5bb1d1.jpg?width=762&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b9bfd5cd84b25807c6025ad9a26980abc57d2da
Asset’s dead but it’s not an expense
One problem with showing your expenses as an “asset under development” is that this asset can’t be under development forever. At some point, depending on if this asset is dead or alive, you have to account for your expenses in some way.
… Or not. If your company makes any money, you put those figures in your profit and loss statement. This is simple and straightforward. But accounting isn’t simple and straightforward. If your company makes money, but it’s not a result of your actual business, then you can’t put it under the P&L. Instead, you have to account for it under a separate subheading called “Other Comprehensive Income”.
The idea behind this new sub-head is that the company's P&L is supposed to reflect its actual ability to make money. If you hold a lot of dollars and the price of the dollar goes up (or down), your company didn’t really do anything to make that profit (or loss) so you’d put it under Other Comprehensive Income and not in your P&L. So stuff like this wouldn’t affect your profit, on paper at least. [2]
Yes, of course, Brightcom recognised the ₹863 crore loss that it had hidden under “intangible assets under development” by categorising it as Other Comprehensive Income. SEBI wasn’t excited about it.
Share this post so that Boring Money can move from “asset under development” to P&L
Sell your stake but keep quiet about it
If a company is doing well, its founders don’t usually sell stock. So if a founder sells some shares, they have to tell everyone about it by regulation, because it could be a sign that things aren’t well.
There are three entities that need to know if a founder sells stock:

1. The company itself, via its registrar and transfer agent (RTA)
2. Depositories that hold stock on behalf of investors
3. Stock exchanges

1 and #2 are important, but they’re obvious. The company has to know if its founders sell stock, and so does the depository that actually moves the stock from one account to another. #3 is how the rest of the rest of the world gets to know. A founder sells some stock, files a disclosure in a stock exchange, the exchange updates its records and screams out that this has happened, and that’s how public investors know.

In March 2014, if you had asked Brightcom’s RTA, a depository, or a stock exchange about how much stake its founders owned, they would’ve all said, “about 40%”. If you asked them again in June 2022, the RTA and the depository would say “about 3.5%”, but the stock exchange would scratch its head and say “18.47%”.
That’s because Brightcom’s founders—primarily CEO Suresh Reddy, his friends and family—sold their stock but didn’t inform the stock exchanges. Here’s what they said when SEBI asked what’s up:

Man, I’m just some dumb guy writing about finance every once in a while, and even I know that if you pledge your shares as collateral to get a loan, you don’t transfer ownership. You just inform your depository and investors about it, and you still own the shares. Reddy & Friends transferred some of their shares to someone else (that is, sold them) and decided not to inform the stock exchanges. Then they used pledging as an excuse and everyone had different answers about how much stock they really owned.
How much money they make tho
When a company’s stock price shoots up in a short period of time, and there’s no concrete reason for it to happen, in all likelihood, it’s a scam. The management of the company may or may not be involved, but it definitely helps if they are.
Last month, I wrote about Sadhna, a company that SEBI charged with running a pump-and-dump. The founders owned a lot of shares, they spread some false news, the share price shot up, then happily sold their stock to naive investors, and made a profit. If you see Brightcom’s share price trajectory without knowing any of the company’s other shenanigans, it might seem a similar story. The stock price was around ₹3 in January 2021. By December, it was at ₹117. 40X in a year is definitely not normal.
In a pump-and-dump, it’s important for those running the fraud to own shares before the price goes up. The fraud that Reddy & Friends are accused of, which I described above, was of selling stock and hiding the fact that they sold it. By early 2021, they had in fact sold 80% of their shares and it’s only later that the share price started going up.
But wait, here’s more from SEBI:

In 2020 and 2021, Brightcom sold a large chunk (almost 15% stake) of shares to a group of investors. [3] Later, Suresh Reddy—who had been selling Brightcom shares all these years—became a partner at these entities that had just bought a large chunk of stock.
It’s all a bit confusing but here’s what I think happened. In late 2020 and early 2021, it had become apparent if you called yourself a tech company, investors would push your price up. The finer details didn’t matter. Brightcom, of course, happened to be an “ad-tech” company. So there was a decent chance that its share price would go up (or it could be made to go up, there are ways). But since Reddy & Friends had already sold nearly all of their shares, they needed to buy more shares so that they could sell them when the price went up. But they couldn’t buy them directly—because how would they justify selling shares so soon?—so they got some proxy investors to do so on their behalf.
As expected, the share price did go up. A lot. Around the same time, SEBI started investigating the company because of all the shady stuff it had done over the years. If the proxy investors were to sell this stock now, SEBI would definitely catch on, it was already investigating them! So instead of selling any shares at crazy high prices, Reddy instead came out with his association with those proxy investors so that the total founder ownership would go back up to the exact amount expected [4] by the public, that is, 18.47%.
It’s possible that Reddy & Friends made some profit but SEBI says it needs more information to be sure about just how much it would be. It would’ve been easier to know had they also run a pump-and-dump for good measure.
Footnotes
[1] Technically, Brightcom got caught earlier when SEBI actually started investigating. But it’s just this month that SEBI put a nice document out with whatever its investigation found.
[2] This “Other Comprehensive Income” should be a small number. If it’s a huge figure more than your actual profit, there’s usually something fishy happening.
[3] Brightcom didn’t directly sell shares to the group of investors. Instead, it issued warrants. What this meant was that the investors had the right, but not the obligation, to buy shares from the company at a fixed price at a later date. This was a good way for these investors (who are now part of the founder group) to not risk too much money buying shares in case the price went down.
[4] Reminder, the reason that the public expected the founder group to own 18.47% was that they hadn’t informed the stock exchanges when they had reduced their stake.
Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/brightcom-made-a-profit-by-hiding

Hello and greetings once again my fellow CUEnthusiasts!
This post is going to be different from the usual ones you may be accustomed to because I feel I should have done this first lol.
To some, I just kinda popped up here and started posting these Coaches Corners without providing anything about myself or my back story. Like, who’s this guy?
I feel like a bit of a proper introduction and a brief digital card collecting history may help. Even most of the folks on discord don’t know this lol.
To keep it CUE, I will not name/mention or describe in detail other apps at all, just some general info that helps to understand my history and why I know the stuff I do and am now sharing it with all of you. To be honest, my CUE adventure started, in part, due to these apps :)
I started trading and collecting digital cards in 2016. But don’t worry, like I said I’ll be brief lol. The apps I was on were all individual but also kind of connected, and it’s wasn’t a game, just collecting and trading. I’ll give some insight to what they were like, as it’s kinda relevant but won’t be too detailed or revealing.
The majority of people traded within an individual app, accounts could span all the apps, but cards never transferred across apps. There was a method to trade between apps we called cross trading. I want to note, this was all ok and approved by the apps devs, but we did so at our own risk. Again, I won’t go into detail and this is as specific as I’ll get.
The reason I mention this is because in order to do this well, I had to know values for cards across quite a few apps and be able convert values amongst them. In order to do so effectively and accurately I studied and worked hard and learned all I could because that was the game.
I was selected for and assigned a trade evaluator role on one of their larger discord servers where players could ping us and get a quick evaluation. If needed, I was required to explain as briefly and as detailed as possible, a breakdown of a trade if needed and do so without bias. I did this until about 2021/2022. I was fairly well known and regarded as one of the better traders on each app I was on. But that comes second hand when you learn to play the collecting and trading game fairly and well. And that’s as far as I’ll go with that. Because next comes my CUE story.
It’s was actually a good friend from those previous apps that introduced me to CUE back in 2020, as my cake day indicates lol. However I was pretty casual on cue as my time was invested elsewhere for a number of reasons that I won’t get into.
I got into and went full time with CUE as my main app in around 2021/2022, and it has been my only card app since. I do want to describe my earlier, cue focused days a bit because it lends a bit to my back story and why I’ve been enjoying making these posts.
When I started, like many, I didn’t use any social platform. I had no idea as to the values other than what I knew from my past as a trader and collector. I also didn’t really play the game, so I never grasped the playability aspect of cards until later.
I managed to apply what I knew and successfully complete the app without ever knowing there was a value systems in place and readily available. I was able to figure which cards were hot, in demand and had value, what to pull (I wasn’t spending much back then, I was grinding trades), and when i found out there were hoarders (one card collectors), I had a good idea of to how to trade with them and, for the most part, any level of player. Little by little I was able to eventually piece together the basic trade economy. I can promise, like most players new to a card app, I sent some bad offers, and accepted them too. It happens lol.
All this means is, I write these posts because I’ve experienced what I’ve written about. I’ve learned the trading game, and applied and integrated what I knew successfully. And if I can help some people skip the years it took me, why not?
I’ve been a member on the CUE official discord for maybe a year, maybe a bit more lol it’s a blur. I can say though, it was just like home. Information readily available, a value system in place, trade evals, hoarders(one card collectors), the players who trade heavily. I made it a priority right then and there to learn the value system there in and out. This didn’t require me to be on discord all the time but I made it on as often as I could, and I took it all in and applied it. I knew how important this was going to be, especially when directly working out deals with people live. I had done this before, and was about to again lol.
My years on CUE have been an amazing and incredibly fun experience. And the people I’ve met along the way have become some great friends. Some of my favorite times are on discord talking digital cards and stuff. Makes the game that much more special and enjoyable.
My journey with cue is far from over, although I’m busy with life and that’s my main focus, I feel a deeper connection to that game and a bit of a different appreciation for it. Sorry, it may not make sense to you, but it does to me xD
Doing these segments have been extremely enjoyable and rewarding for me. It’s been a joy to look back and rememberelive times when I was just in my collecting infancy.
I feel like and hope what I’m writing about and passing on is both helpful and useful, as I may have said before. I’ve seen guides and strategies for playing the card game and deck building that go into great depth. I just hope I’m filling, what to me seemed like a gap. And that’s the trading and collecting aspect of the game.
I’ll be posting the next segment of Coaches Corner very shortly, so please, stay tuned :)
As always, Happy Trading and keep it Cue, see you in game!

now senior so i thought id take a look back. most TFs or lab instructors missing bc i don't remember them and never attended most office hours.
Courtney Martin - FY101 freshman fall. utterly useless class (was an undeclared major so took it hoping to get some guidance, basically got nothing out of it.) very chill instructor though, no issues there, just waste of time.
Scott Possiel - WR120 freshman fall and WR152 freshman spring, grad student teacher. pretty chill and class was interesting (mediterranean religion [roman religions]), learned strong amount about writing. no complaints, hope he's on to great things.
Alexander Nikolaev - CL/208LX208 freshman fall. awesome class on zoom, funny and knowledgeable dude, learned so much about about indo-european linguistics, and sparked basically all my interest about linguistics. assignments were fun and refreshing. one of my favorite professors at BU despite only having had one class with him, unfortunately he disappeared (left?) after 2020 and I have no idea why, nor did any of my classmates. lucky to have had his last BU class in first semester of freshman year.
Christine Papadakis - CS112 freshman fall. her ratemyprofessor 1.9 score says enough, bad at explaining topics, strange class vibes, pretty unhelpful. seems like a nice person though. main reason i did not continue with compsci after 1 semester at BU, class wasn't too difficult (got B+ and could have done better if i tried harder) but it was so utterly boring it was the dread of every week and genuinely difficult to find any will to do work for it. lectures were insufferably boring, especially on replay when studying. avoid her at all costs.
Edward Loechler - first half of BI107 freshman fall, BI108 freshman spring? (i remember him and spilios teaching some class together or two part or something). chill old man vibes, class was solid and well taught. don't remember anything else except no issues. recommend.
Kathryn Spilios - second half of BI107 freshman fall. chill professor, class was solid and well taught. don't remember anything else except no issues. recommend.
Leah Kronenberg - CL102 freshman spring. awesome professor, very kind and good at teaching. recommend
thomas keyes - CH101 freshman spring. worst professor i had in all of BU hands down. so utterly useless and incompetent his syllabus was barely even divided into paragraphs, just a spam wall of text. lectures monotonous and uninteresting, bad at answering questions, mean to students, generally seemed like he was on the verge of suicide or homicide or both at any given moment. thankfully he retired so i do not have to say avoid him at all costs.
Alyssa Kranc - TF for CH101, grad student. actual angel sent from heaven to guide the class thru the horror that was CH101 with thomas keyes. great at explanations, patient, and brought good vibes. i actually really liked chemistry and it was only thru Alyssa's help and lab review meeting things that I learned anything in this class and got an A. Hope she is onto greater things and epic research.
jane x. luu - AS102 sophomore fall. chill professor, kinda made class easier as time went along when she realized nobody really gave a shit about the subject and was just there for hub or get chance to look thru telescope. actually discovered some really awesome things in her research (oumuamua). was visiting professor so dont think she'll be back.
brandon jones - CL101 sophomore fall. awesome professor, good lectures, chill guy. recommend.
john thornton - HI175 sophomore fall. boringest history lecturer ive ever had, quiet so had to sit in the front to even hear him (maybe cuz covid masks everything was quieter). chill guy, easy class, probably cooler to talk to at office hours than for survey history class. recommend.
cathal nolan - HI284 sophomore fall. Lowkey kinda pompous guy, but classes were always insightful and really felt like attending a speech notsomuch a lecture. history of war class was one of the few classes where i felt like i really gained wisdom and not just knowledge, but also fell short of my expectations at the same time if that makes sense. pretty easy if you like history / are good at writing. needs to learn how to use slides though lol, windows photo app on USB stick photos can only last so long. recommend.
Christopher McMullen - FY102 sophomore spring. genuinely do not remember a single thing about this class or professor. pretty sure we unironically did a meyers personality test thing, hilarious waste of time. or that was in FY101.
hannah culik - CL237 sophomore spring. very kind professor, learned a lot in the class. 0 official dealines so u can turn in everything late but i do not recommend leaving it all to the last minute. pretty political charged, but i think in an engaging way. she left BU but i would recommend if she were still here.
simon payaslian - HI176 sophomore spring. felt like high school class but i guess that's how history survey courses go. chill dude, kinda tough grader? dumb assignments. average lecturer. recommend.
bruce schulman - HI231 sophomore spring. very kind professor, i turned in my final research paper like a week late LMFAO and he still accepted it (with some completely justified points off for lateness of course). good lecturer. recommend.
Christopher Daly - HI231 sophomore spring. kind professor chill lecturer some course as schulman (double professors). retired, otherwise would recommend.
Alexis Peri - HI200 sophomore spring, HI272 junior fall - one of the best professors at BU hands down. kind but pushes you to truly learn. writing excelled under her and i felt i improved my overall skills as a human in every way. grades easier as class goes on. genuinely proud to have achieved in A in both her courses, pushed myself to get there. maybe a bit too much class discussion for my tastes though, i don't really enjoy sharing out. recommend.
*christopher Backman *- HI101 junior fall. chill professor, class pretty boring but funny lecturer. completely ghosted my email sent in next semester discussing my idea for senior thesis lol, and wasn't at the office hours listed on website, idk what happened. so yeah, maybe not the friendliest guy. recommend.
Stephanie Nelson - CL161 junior fall. awesome professor, kind and fun class. recommend
Timothy Clark - CL162 junior spring, CL322 disorganized and seems like he didn't really care about the class tbh, but overall chill guy. really likes parthia and didn't really care about Rome at all. dumb assignments at times, but he did have no issue with me consistently missing a language class day to to schedule conflict without issue, which I appreciated. don't recommend.
eugenio menegon - HI363 senior fall. hard to explain but going to class just felt... uncomfortable every time? does lot of cold-calling. lecture was kinda boring, didn't learn very much, felt more like a high school survey class of china than a 300 level class on ancient China. covers way too long a time period in too little detail. dude seems pretty chill though don't recomment.
christopher ell - CL300 senior fall. very boring lecturer but he clearly does try to make it funny, which is appreciated. chill guy, some leniency on scheduling and assignments, very clear about all his instructions and overall taught well. very fair and no conflicts at all. enjoyed his class. recommend.
spiridon-iosif capotos - CL261 senior fall, grad student teacher. hilarious, deadpan dry humor. fun class, learned a lot of greek, hope he is onto great things. recommend
simon anderson - SY101 senior spring. chill guy, class not the most useful but was alright. not really that indepth, prob waste of time could've learned everything reading online guides. instructor was fine though, no issues.
hannah kloster - CL262 senior spring, grad student teacher. awesome and kind instructor, very fun class, learned a lot despite having no interest in Greek poetry. hope she is onto great things. recommend.
jilene chua - HI500 senior spring. very kind professor, chill class and great vibes, but too much discussion for my taste. new professor to BU, had her on her second or third semester teaching as professor ever (i think); class was kinda unorganized or ad hoc at times. will only get better as time goes on. recommend.
stephen scully - hi406 senior spring. no interest in the subject (iliad translations) when i joined class and minimal interest in the subject as I leave the class (and BU). chill professor, but grades harshly and requires a lot of writing. cold calls often. class was also quite unorganized for entire first half. in terms of material, honestly a lot of stuff in class felt quite arbitrary in understanding (as is probably the case with most literature classes, which i did not take outside of this). recommend if you really love classical literature / mythology / philology (or anything humanities), don't recommend for classical history (or anything social sciences).
Rui Hua - HI364 junior fall, HI370 junior spring, HI553 senior fall. the most energetic, fun, chill professor i've had at BU, every lecture was a blast and even if i went to class in a bad mood it was impossible to leave without a smile on my face. took us on field trips to relevant destinations when possible. I had the first 3 classes he's ever taught as a professor ever (I think), and it definitely showed bc they were somewhat unorganized or ad hoc. but i am sure his teaching will only get better as time progresses, learned a lot and had a great time in all his classes, he does cover some overlapping material in them so if u take them u might repeat some stuff. also super lenient on deadlines but i do not encourage delaying all of them to the last minute as I did like an idiot. easy classes overall, but if you like the subject he definitely is encouraging for those who want to learn more. recommend.
Loren J. Samons - CL321 junior fall, CL303 junior spring, CL202 senior spring. best professor i've ever had at BU, hilarious, funnest lectures of all time, learned so much, and brings so much old man sardonic energy to every class. CL303 fall of roman empire another class where I felt I genuinely attained wisdom and not just knowledge. assigned readings are some of the few I actually did. class might be difficult if not ur a good writer / not a social sciences person, but u'll definitely improve if you take the effort to do so, otherwise easy class got As in all of them. very straightforward. recommend.
feel free to ask individual questions about any of these professors / instructors in comments.

So this has all happened within the past few weeks. A girl Im friends with at college is a senior, and I will be a sophomore. I jokingly said that she should help me practice kissing for next semester and she said that if I didn’t kiss at all when I graduated she would kiss me. I then jokingly said that I gotta wait three years and then she said that she’ll do it at her graduation instead which is next year. She is 100% serious. What does this mean? Does she like me? Think Im attractive? Or just wants to do something nice for me because she’s a really good friend? I sorta like her and find her pretty attractive but I already like another girl who just got in a relationship. She has told me she likes another guy but she hasn’t really elaborated much past that. However she knows the guy she likes doesn’t like her back. She wanted to FT me that same night to fall asleep because she’s wasn’t feeling well and having birthday depression because she doesn’t like her birthday. What does this add to the story already talked about?
Then cut to the day after where she went swimming and when she told me I jokingly said to not send swimsuit photos and she then later sent a mirror photo of her smiling, however she was in a tank top and jean shorts and not her swimsuit. Then a couple hours later she sent me another mirror photo in said tank top and jean shorts showing me her sunburn, she was making a sorta laughing smirking face with puffed out cheeks. However she sent a photo to a group chat we are both in but it was a different photo of her. It was definitely taken back to back with each other and the gc photo was more a goofy face/expression. Could that mean anything? Then fast forward to tonight where she asked me if she could send me a photo of her “looking good” (her words). I ofc say yes and she sends another mirror photo in a black tank top and black nike pro shorts, while having a flirty smirk on her face. She said she needed approval before she sent the photo to her mom and when I asked why she need approval to send a picture to her own mother, she responded with she’s scared of sending photos to her mom which I asked why and she replied with “Idk why I’m weird ok.” She then told me that she used to have someone to approve her photos but doesn’t anymore and that she can be herself around me, I told her she can always come to me for approval and she said she appreciated it. Was that photo meant for me or actually for her mom? Is she genuinely just wanting my opinion on photos of her? Or is there something else Im not seeing?
Then yesterday she was out boating and swimming again and she sent me a picture captioned “I hope I stay this tan” and its just a photo of her sitting down and her camera is just showing off her thighs and legs. Is there anything in that or am I just being crazy?

Ok so here's the rant after a LOT of research.
Having been a loyal Vistara customer for years, the email from CV feels like a break-up text from your girlfriend who is about to get married to someone else - "main hamesha tumhari dost rahoongi" :D :D
So here's a lowdown of what's going to change. Club Vistara had already revised the tier renewal criteria in March 24 (disappointment but ok given explosion in travel), but that is nowhere near what Air India's Flying Returns asks for, or gives you back in return.
Here's for Gold Tier:

	Club Vistara	Flying Returns
Tier Points Required	15,000 (no min flights)	30,000 (OR 60 <- that's right 60 flights with at least 8 on AI)
Upgrade Vouchers	3	2 (33% downside)
Upgrade Vouchers on Tier upgrade	2	NIL
Tier Points for Rs. 100 spend	10	6 (40% downside - biggest downgrade for CV Gold!)
Reward/CV Points for Rs. 100 spend	10	9 (10% downside)

Other privileges are pretty much same - Air India gives you 20kg extra baggage allowance in the Gold Tier but if you're expected to fly 5 times a month on business trips (an era of Zoom and Teams meetings), what use is it unless you are smuggling gold.
And if you're flying enough to be in the Platinum tier (90 flights), suggest you ask your company to get a private jet, if not, they should be making you fly Indigo or Spice because of the dent you're making in their bottomline.
The sad part is that there is no full service competition or loyalty programme for Vistara or Air India to bother about (read Jet), and in a country where the food standards authority would rather change the criteria for carcinogenicity rather than enforce food quality, all you can do is grin and bear it.
Long story short, for CV members, enjoy the last few months of this courtship - travel as much as you can and enjoy the privileges!

"The increased availability of noninvasive breath tests, each with limitations, has led to widespread testing for small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO) in patients with non-specific gastrointestinal complaints. The lactulose breath test (LBT) is based upon an incorrect premise and therefore incorrect interpretations which has resulted in the over-diagnosis of SIBO and the excessive use of antibiotics in clinical practice. Despite limitations, the glucose breath test (GBT) should be exclusively employed when considering SIBO in appropriately chosen patients. This review suggests guidelines for the optimal use and appropriate interpretation of the GBT for suspected SIBO. The LBT should be discarded from future use, and the literature based upon the LBT should be discounted accordingly."
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33037967/
.
"Official recommendation for the test is based on conflict of interest. The companies that produce the tests as well as antibiotic manufacturers influence and sponsor doctors and support the changes in guidelines, so at some point they were recognized as the new standard4. That's the short version."
"Until recently, the current gold standard for the diagnosis of SIBO was a bacterial culture from the patient's small intestinal aspirate (a sample taken from a portion of the upper to middle small intestine during endoscopy). But most bacterial strains require unknown growth conditions (and strict exclusion of oxygen) and therefore cannot be cultured, leading to false negative results. In addition, this method is expensive, invasive and therefore complex and risky for the patient and requires an experienced gastroenterologist.
Most studies today that report SIBO in patients with IBS are therefore based on the results of glucose and lactulose breath tests, which measure the amount of hydrogen and methane in the breath produced by bacteria after digestion of ingested fermentable sugars.
This method is indirect and does not allow quantification of bacteria.
Glucose is normally absorbed in the small intestine, but if SIBO is present, the theory is that the bacteria should produce detectable gases that can then be detected in breath. The glucose-hydrogen breath test is more specific but not very sensitive (so it is difficult to detect); the lactulose breath test is very non-specific and will detect anything.
This has consequences for the test results and also for the patient. Depending on the test, between 4-60% of IBS patients are SIBO positive. At the same time, however, up to 34% of healthy people also have a positive test result. The high range in IBS patients and the high proportion of positives in controls casts doubt on the validity of the tests: in fact, almost 50% of tests have been shown to be false positives3. Scientists therefore say:
SIBO is overdiagnosed and causes confusion and anxiety in patients (Massey et al. 2021)"
https://drschwitalla.com/diagnostik/sibo/

Throwaway acc. Bakit ganon, iba talaga itsura or buong aura ng filams??? Little background, I'm in college and I have a friend back in high school na nagmigrate sa California nung grade 8 kami. She is pretty yes pero grabe yung umuwi siya two years ago grabe glow up niya nagkaroon din ng american accent (as in hindi rinig filipino accent niya) parang born and raised siya sa US. Tuwing nakikita ko stories niya (puro asians friends niya) sobrang good looking lalo na yung mga filipino rin like grabe sana all??? Ang gaganda ng katawan tapos ang kikinis. Ang dami rin nila tattoo at piercings, helix piercing nga lang nagalit na sa akin nanay ko hahahahaha.
Not to sound a bitch pero may iba rin kaming classmates na lumipat ng ibang bansa pero hindi naman nadevelop overall self charot, naging topic pa nga namin siya (cali girl) and yung isa rin namin na classmate na nasa US pero nasa Maryland siya something, yun naman baligtad pumangit ugali ang yabang ang tigas naman ng accent eme.
Ayun tapos I learned sa tiktok there's thing called socal asians pala HAHAHAHA medyo ang lawak ng topic but in short, ang daming asians sa cali na meron daw silang superiority complex kasi they are not the "minority" in that place. At tawag pala sa kaibigan ko na yun ABG or asian baby girl HAHAHAHA maraming tattoo, mahaba lashes, party palagi, etc. ayun lang siguro naiingit lang ako sa lifestyle niya, makapunta rin sana ako ng US HAHAHA 😩

Hello, I know people will say your life just started (m approaching mid 20s), but it feels like it might be over for me. There is just no medium for me to meet new people. Whoever’s plan it was to make people in western nations hostile towards each other has won.
I thought going to daily mass would lead to something (maybe even some friends), but it’s just the same 30 people (mostly older and middle aged) who attend everyday. I don’t understand it. People don’t even sign peace to you at daily mass they just stand in the pew like a statue looking straight ahead. Our culture is sick.
Even if a nice gal shows up to mass one of these days I have to perform this near impossible juggling act of figuring out if I would be disturbing her spiritually, finding her in the mess exiting the church, starting/leading the conversation, and all while not making her feel trapped otw to the parking lot (assuming she is single and into me in the first place).
I’m trying to stay hyper-focused on meeting someone right now because soon I will not have the time for all of this. I see so many older people alone at mass and I know that’s going to be me one day. Sometimes I find old posts about events on social media. It appears that there was once a somewhat active YA community in this city, but it just never recovered after COVID. I go to the Newman Center for daily mass sometimes, but no one shows up except school faculty.
It seems as if whenever I try something new I get immediately redirected to something else. Am I going crazy?

Hello there, Baguio peeps! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧
Since the school year is about to end, and a new one's to start, just helping out my fellow housemates sa paghahanap ng bagong roommate ✨
"LF: 1 Housemate (female yung kasama sa room but ok lang sa kanya male or female kasama)
📍Location - Santa Escolastica, near Camp 8. - Short walk to Camp 8 main road if want mag jeep. - Nearest jeepney terminal is Poliwes. - Dumadaan jeeps otw to Hillside and Gabriela silang sa tapat ng house pag pauwi. - 5 min taxi ride to UP and town. - Nearby laundry and sari sari stores.
🛏️ House - Fully furnished w/ mattress na rin (bring your own sheets and pillows nalang). - 2 lang kayo sa room, top bunk ka. - 5 lang tayo sa buong house - The house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (both with heater). - May sala, dining area, and kitchen. - Cooking allowed and meron na rin mga ibang pangluto. - No curfew and visitors allowed.
🏡 Rent & Utilities - 4,000 included na water - Advance + Deposit - Wifi: 360 - Electricity ~ 200 something
Pwede na mag move in anytime. Feel free to pm me for any questions 😗"

Recently came across many comments in instagram women claiming they are the most suffering in families. I know most of the families they are suffering. But there are some men also. Silently suffering for kids. Just want to share 2 stories. Both are similar First one is my brother. He is married since 4 years living with family in Middle East. My sister in law never call our parents. My mother used to say some harsh words to me my brother and everyone. So he or me don't have any problem with her not calling. But my father is a gem of a person. My brother has to travel every day 2 hours one way for his job. So he has to leave by 6.00 in morning. My sister in law never cooks or do any chores or never going to work also. They has a baby. My brother everyday wakes up at 4.00.clean the house cookes both breakfast and lunch. Wash all baby clothes separately and leave for work.when he come back the time will be 9.00 pm. House will be a mess when he comes back. He again cleans the house again wash all utensils. The sister in law usually put all utensils and plates in sink. So he has to wash again. He is going to bed at between 11 to 12 very tired. He told me he is very tired . He said looking a baby is a big job still hopes his wife atleast help with some chores. She never does any chores or clean the plate she eats. Also their baby sleeps fine in night. No sleeping troubles. Similar story for my friend.my friend don't have time for cooking. He is living near to my office but he is having high stress job leaving early and coming late. Everyday he buy 4 chapati without curry since he is having financial problems. he eats 2 in morning 2 in afternoon. I told him I will share my food. He never agree. His child is a very hyper active kid but going school. He is a soft personality. May be its is toomuch for his wife to look after a hyperactive kid. I am not judging her. But my friends suffering is because of situation. When I saw the hate comments aganist men, I just want to share this situation. There are also men who are suffering.

Hey everyone,
Not looking for anything specific—just somebody cool to connect with and learn about! Always love meeting new people.
I’m from the NYC area and work at a nonprofit. I dabble in ESG and absolutely adore what I do. I really enjoy movies and music. My favorite movie is Jojo Rabbit and my favorite artists lately have been Mac Miller (always), Noah Kahan, SZA, and carwash. Super into fashion and travel, too. I studied philosophy in school and like reading—my favorite genre is literary fiction (I know, dry).
Physically, I’m more masculine presenting—short brown hair, hazel eyes, and a ton of tattoos.
Feel free to send me a DM if you’d like to get to know one another!

Obviously cheap and easy are relative.
Long story short, getting a free 2004 ram 3500 that's been a farm truck for 20 years with 237k miles. It's been used and maintained well. Obviously preventative maintenance is always best, but what are some things I can do to squeak out a little more mpg and overall improve on it.
Not looking to make more power or anything like that, just want to make this thing last another 20+ years and maybe get slightly better mpg whenever I do drive it.

I have two friends: Gaby and Shelly. All of us are 23, if that matters. We were roommates in college and stayed in the same city after graduation. While the three of us are close, I’ve always known that Gaby and Shelly are the closest. They have a really sweet friendship.
Shelly is getting married. Gaby is the maid of honor and I’m one of the bridesmaids. Over the weekend, I went with Shelly so she could look at wedding dresses. Gaby was supposed to come with us but got called into work last minute. I helped Shelly pick out some dresses then she went with the consultant to try them on. Shelly asked that I take pictures and videos on her phone to send to her mom and Gaby. I was getting the camera ready when a text from Gaby came through. I didn’t mean to click on it and was instantly going to click back out when I saw one of my Instagram pictures in their private chat from earlier that morning. Both were making fun of me for the face I was making and my outfit choice. It didn’t appear to be very good nature.
I admit, curiosity got the best of me so I searched my name in the chat. I found multiple pictures that I, my boyfriend or my mom have posted of myself, absolutely ripping them to shreds. Ranging from selfies to posed shots to even a few baby pictures. They’d also make fun of me in general in terms of the way I talked, wore my hair and the way I ate. This went back as far as I could tell, at least a year.
My heart broke. It all felt so juvenile and high school. While we all joke around, I would never do this to them nor have they ever even tried to instigate these types of conversations with me about the other one on one. I was in tears. As someone who was bullied all through middle and high school, it just brought me back to a horrible place. I put the phone in Shelly’s purse and brought it to another employee, telling her to tell Shelly that I had to go. I drove home and had a long cry.
Shelly texted me by the time I made it home asking where I went. I said I was going home and we could talk later. When she did call a few hours later, she was understandably confused and hurt that I left. I told her what I found, explaining that I only looked further because of the initial text I accidentally saw. She went off on me for looking through her private texts and said those were none of my business. She also told me I shouldn’t have left the store without saying anything. I said I didn’t want to make a scene but also knew I couldn’t fake being happy for her.
Shelly told me the texts were “all in good fun” and clearly she loves me because I’m going to be her bridesmaid. She added that I’m only hurt because I chose to read all those texts. Later on, Gaby called to tell me that I invaded Shelly’s privacy and hurt her by walking out.
My boyfriend and mom think I did the right thing by walking out. But obviously, they’re a little biased. I just want some unbiased looks: was I an asshole to look through the texts and then leave?

Hi I am new and delete if not allowed.
So.,..I'm still hurting after this "breakup" we weren't even together officially. Me Rubi 21fm and him JP 24m we met at a young adult work conference. And we clicked immediately because we are both the only diabetics.we spent the next 2 days attached at the hip. Doing coupley stuff after day 1 because we liked each other ((atleast I did a lot) I gave him my number. He didn't have a phone sadly ik strange. But gave me his mom's. Well long story short he falls asleep on me in the bus ride home and he misses his stop. He goes to my town and I wait with him till his ride gets with him. We kiss good bye sorta I pull away I was scared I ruined it and we hugged and he said bye. We separated. We kept in contact mabey 3 days. Remember we weren't together so I gave him space. I invited him to my town to come watch a new premiere and he said he would love to.....till the next day I get woken up by a phone call by him. He says it's not going to work. Yada yada. I tell him it's ok that I'm proud of him and that he's beautiful in and out and I hope that he had a bright future.he never gave me a reason that's what hurts the most right now. It's about to be 2 months since that call and I'm still hurting still hung up. I had never been interested in anyone in years. Last person I was with was 4 years ago. but I tried I guess but idk I'm trying to get over it but it's hard when all the memories are right here in my phone and I can't delete them because they are engraved. We shared so much in 2 days music stories memories. Pictures.. I have his f*****g socks for goodness sake. He called me princessa he called me beautiful. When I never thought I was even after him seeing the scars on my arms and legs. (From the meds and pumps and surgeries) I am hurting. Idk I want him out so badly. Amazing what 2 days can do. Thank you

I am a 22 year old Female, I’m 1,6m tall and I weigh around 90kg.
Since February 2024, I have been feeling dizziness, more than usual. My vision will be blurry or I see spots when I wake up. Around two weeks ago I have started hearing sounds in my left ear. A loud sounds as though it’s the wind blowing through. It changes in volume if I turn my head to the left, bend down and if I press a certain point in my upper neck. Now I have pains around my neck and it causes these numbing headaches. I feel like because I listen to music a lot, it might have been the cause. The whooshing sound also corresponds with my heartbeat or if I get too anxious it gets worse.
I also panicked when I saw a semi dark line up my belly. I am also panicking that I might be like pregnant. I had unprotected sex around October and I did take an after pill the next morning. My periods have been a little regular but I can’t be sure because we are so poor that we don’t eat well and sometimes I will be eating bread for days. My last period was on the 21st of April and lasted for three days and the bleeding was very light. I have only felt nausea when eating too much or not eating and only when my period has started or about to start.
I have also been diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder two years back and I took antidepressants for a year till I let go. I have had three suicide attempts and was this admitted before getting diagnosed. I also had my jaw lock twice and was admitted to the hospital for it. For a year and a half now, my jaw would always pop like when I’m stretching. I was also given something else well to help with the mild anxiety I had. I had withdrawals end of 2022 and in 2023 I felt good.
I have also struggled with constipation and diarrhoea. When I was eighteen (last year of high school), I found out I had high blood pressure but it went down after I completed school and got into university.
I don’t sleep too well and I often will sleep a lot or for short periods of time. Being home does have me on the edge as I know how irritated my mom can get for not doing things around the house or sleeping in too much. I have a job that doesn’t pay too well as well as my mom. So we don’t have money, not even a ride to the hospital. We don’t eat well due to this and I am terrified to tell my mom all this because she will tell me it’s because of the phone and listening to music. Please help or advise I’m scared my right ear will follow.

As the morning sun finally breaks through the night I am already getting dressed for my first day of second grade. As I’m struggling to button up my white collar shirt my dad walks into the room.
“You getting ready for school champ?” He asks me, clearly proud of how grown I looked.
“You betcha Dad!” I exclaimed as a wide smile beamed across my face,
Dad bent down and helped me finish buttoning my shirt.
“So…” he started asking, “what’s the plan for today? You know,” he paused trying to find the right words, “so you don’t have another one of those outbursts?”
These “outbursts” as Dad called them weren’t really outbursts. I’d had outbursts before but these were different. I’ve only had a handful of these breakdowns but they were the worst thing I’d ever experienced. It felt almost like someone was clawing into my skull. The pain was almost unbearable. Then there were the voices… ugh, I shuddered thinking about the voices.
It was because of these outbursts that we had to move cities. They were so bad I was kicked out of every school in Saint Louis.
Now that we moved to my crazy old grandmother’s house in Maryland, my parents were hoping I’d grow out of the breakdowns. They had tried everything they could to “fix” me but to no prevail. No matter how many doctors or therapists I went to none of them could ever find out what was wrong with me. It made me feel hopeless like I was doomed to be the weird kid for the rest of my life.
I still remember my 6th birthday all too well. I had invited every kid in my class to my party and was so excited to have people over.
You see, I had never had a real friend before and I was hoping by having people over at my house I could finally make one. That’s how dumb of a thought process I had in kindergarten. Now that I was in second grade I realized that wasn’t how the world worked. When it came time to have my party no one except my older brother Nathan and my older sister Jess showed up.
“I’m sorry Weston.” I remember Nathan saying, “Maybe next year you’ll have friends.”
Nathan didn’t mean that in a mean way but it sure felt like that. That year when I blew out my candles all I wished for was a single friend, a friend whom I could talk to, a friend whom I could play with and laugh with, a friend who cared about me.
But like most wishes, it never came true. And now here I am ready to reinvent myself and ready to try again. Hopefully, things were different in Baltimore, hopefully the kids were nicer.
“I’ll try not to freak out again Dad.” I finally replied to him as he finished tying my navy blue tie around my neck. “I promise.”
“I know you will Westy. I know. Just please try to take deep breaths like the kind therapist told you to.”
“Dad,” I said longingly, “I told you those silly techniques don’t work.”
“They worked for me.” My older sister Jess said as she walked into the room and sat on my bed, “I used to have the same outbursts happen to me.” She paused, “Matter of fact, the feelings never go away, you just learn to mask them.” She looked at Dad, “That’s just what the Man does to you.
“Jessica!” My dad scolded, “Stop scaring your brother. It’s his first day after all.”
“Weston.” He said turning to me, “Don’t listen to her. Do you understand me?”
I nodded submissively,
Dad turned and walked out of the room leaving me and Jess to finish getting ready.
“He doesn’t get it Westy.” She said to me once she knew he was out of earshot, “But just so you know it gets worse when he visits you again.”
“Again?” I replied in horror, “Jess you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I’m not I swear Weston. Now normally I wouldn’t be telling you this at your age but you seem pretty mature so I think you can handle it.”
She was wrong, I couldn’t handle it.
"Weston, Jess!” My dad yelled from the kitchen, “Time for school!”
I arrived at school in my dad’s big, grey, Chevy Silverado and hopped down on the curb. I waved goodbye to my dad while Jess grabbed my hand and walked me to my classroom.
Ever since mom died, Jess has stepped up to be the motherly figure in my life though never fully replacing my mom. My mom was a beautiful woman with brown chestnut-colored locks of curly hair and beautiful blue eyes as pale but vibrant as the ocean on a cloudy day. I loved my mom but ever since the Man first showed up at our doorstep she was never quite the same. After the incident with the Man, she turned into a hollow shell of a person. Until, until she’d had enough.
It was right after my 6th birthday when the Man came. Maybe he was the answer to my birthday wish. In some ways, I guess he was. It was raining that day. I can still hear the pitter patter of the raindrops hitting the pavement outside my house when all of a sudden there was a knock on my door. I ran to open it, having not been able to sense danger at such a naive age, and was surprised when a tall man wearing an all-black attire stood there staring at me. When my mom saw who it was from the kitchen she immediately dropped the knife in her hand and started running toward me but not before the Man grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me out the door. I remember being frozen in fear, not sure whether to cry or scream. I ended up doing nothing. The man shoved me into the back seat of his car and drove off as my mom came running down the driveway. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or if it was just the rain rolling down her face but I remember wondering whether or not I’d ever see her again.
I think about this now as I walked up the steps into the elementary school with my sister’s hand in mine. Once we reach the outside of my classroom, I turn and stare at my sister.
“I don’t wanna go in there,” I said, my anxiety acting up again,
“Come on Weston,” She replied, “I’m sure it will be fine.”
I usually trusted my sister when it came to stuff like this but this time it felt different, something felt wrong. Either way, I decided to suppress my fear and turn to the classroom door. Too short to look into the window of the door, I reach up and turn the handle instead, without looking inside to evaluate the classroom. I crack open the door and peer inside, what I see when I open the door makes me scream at the top of my lungs with fear. I’m struck with fear and can feel the voices coming back.
The Man was sitting at the teacher’s desk, coffee in hand, feet resting on the desk itself.
“It’s nice to see you again William.” He said as a maniacal grin crossed his face,
“Remember me?”

long story short I had pretty severe bulimia for a while, decided to stop wasting my life in treatment centers and recovered sorta a few years ago, gained a bunch of weight in my last year of law school (just graduated) and absolutely hate how I look. My BMI is actually classified as obese now which feels fucking humiliating and I can’t believe I let this happen but I kinda was just dissociated from my body for a year and now that I’m done with school I’m freaking out… I got a mounjaro prescription and am working on losing the weight without puking at the moment but I genuinely feel subhuman and kinda wish I was dead ahaha…anyway any advice for “existing while fat and losing weight” would be much appreciated because I’m gonna look roughly the same at least for a bit…considering locking myself in my apartment for like three months but that’s dumb…idk