Vocabulary workshop level c unit 1

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I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/JazzlikeOriginal358. They posted in AmItheAsshole
Trigger Warning: discussions of transphobia
Mood Spoiler: moving in a positive direction
Original Post: March 22, 2024
I'm having a bit of family drama and need a reality check about if I am being unreasonable here. I really need the perspective of LGBT+ sensitive individuals because the drama surrounds transphobia perpetrated by JK Rowling.
My step daughter is going through a pretty tough time. The last couple years have been really rough on her. She has been dealing with bullying at school, being held back a year, not getting along with her mom's new husband, self harm and identity issues. Lots of questioning of her sexuality and gender. (We have been working on getting her a good mental health team of doctors and therapists to help her navigate all of this, please know we aren't throwing her to the wolves or internet to deal with it all herself).
I've been in her life since she was 7. We've always had a pretty good, though not terribly close, relationship. I have not taken on a parental role, but have always tried to make myself available for her.
Until last year, her mom had primary custody and her dad had weekends with alternating holidays. Last year due to the issues with her school and mom's house, my stepdaughter requested that custody arrangements be changed.
Since she came to live with my husband and I full time, there has been quite a bit of friction between the two of us. One of the biggest points of contention is my Harry Potter fandom, particularly "The Bookcase", and my supposed transphobia (due to my apparently "wrong" stance when it comes to the politics regarding trans issues in our country)
I grew up in the hayday. So many of my childhood and teen memories are tied to the franchise. My friends and I were all really into it. We attend midnight book releases, dressed up in costume for movie releases, threw HP themed parties when we wanted to hang out, etc. In many ways it shaped the course of my entire life, those same friends and I joined our high school's botany club because herbology. That unlocked a lifelong passion of mine and my career is working with plants.
Over the years I've collected quite a bit of memorabilia, many of which are gifts, and they have always been displayed on my most prized possession. A monstrously large custom bookcase my grandfather, a former woodworker, built for me when I was a teenager. I love this thing. The shelves are live edge black walnut slabs. All around the casing my grandpa carved beautiful HP themed imagery. Owls, cauldrons, shooting stars, lightning bolts, an adorable little rat at the bottom and nibble marks from said rat, etc. It's both sentimental and valuable (the slabs of walnut for the shelves alone would be pushing a grand, let alone attempting to value the hand carved craftmanship). The bookcase has always been proudly displayed in my home. It currently lives in our living room.
During one of our family therapy sessions, my stepdaughter expressed that seeing my HP shelf made her feel really uncomfortable because of the author and that she was really disappointed in me and her father for being so supportive of a biggot. I apologized for making her feel uncomfortable in her own home, and said that I would take down the HP stuff.
So I packed up all the HP themed merch off the shelves. Made sure I didn't have the books or anything on display that said "Harry Potter" anywhere. I bought some LED grow lights and converted the bookcase into a plant shelf to display succulents. I bought some witchy, but not overtly harry potter, themed pots for the little guys so they'd go with the shelf.
This was not an acceptable compromise for my stepdaughter and has remained a point of contention. With my stepdaughter hurling that I/we (referring to my husband) broke a promise by saying we would get rid of the Harry Potter stuff. I tried to explain to my stepdaughter that, while I do not agree with JK Rowling's political stance at all, the media has a special place in my heart because of my childhood association with it and that the shelf was very important to me because it was a gift from my grandpa, but she maintains that none of that should matter because in 2024 it is nothing but a symbol of transphobia and hate.
At first my husband was supportive of me and my desire to keep my bookcase, but lately the arguments are wearing on him and he asked me if I would reconsider keeping it in the living room. Suggesting we rent a storage unit to house it in.
After the most recent blow up about it, I kinda lost my temper. I didn't yell or anything, but I did very firmly tell my stepdaughter that this is my home and my bookshelf stays. If it is such a big problem for her, she can always go back to live with her mother.
I knew it was a low blow pretty much as soon as I said it. I quickly apologized but it was out there. My stepdaughter has been on an emotional downward spiral.
My husband and I have been arguing almost nonstop. I think it is mostly stress because he is at his wits end with how to help his daughter but he is becoming pretty mean and nasty towards me. Telling me to "grow up and just get rid of the fucking bookcase"
I know I was a dick for saying my stepdaughter could always go back to live with her mom (and I suspect that will be the main topic at hand in our next family therapy session).
But am I really being unreasonable in wanting to keep my beloved bookcase?
EDIT: Thank you everyone. Honestly. Thank you for those who shared their insight and advice and thank you to the people who have asked me hard questions that made me think. Especially those who asked what matters more, a bookcase or a/my child?
I've been reflecting really hard on what my bookcase means to me an why it is so important. I'm hitting some deep truths I don't think I was ready to recognize about how I really feel about my relationship with my step daughter.
All in all I think we just need to shelf things until our next therapy session. (I'll see myself out...)
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Can you temporarily put it in storage until she’s off to college, then take it back out? That way it will be safe, and everyone can take a deep breath and calm down a little.

OOP: I looked into storage units when my husband suggested it, for the size and climate/humidity control we would need it would cost us approximately $7,500 to store my shelf until she goes to college.
It's cost prohibitive.

Commenter: Why can't you just move the bookcase into the primary bedroom?

OOP: It's 7' x 4' x 1', made of solid wood, and we have a L shaped stair case.
The only way it is going upstairs is if it is completely dismantled and rebuilt. I don't have the skills, knowledge or tools to do that and hiring out a task like that is cost prohibitive especially because it would have to be done again when moving the bookcase back out.

Commenter: NTA. You need to put that bookcase in a room with locks, because your husband is going sell it or damage it.

OOP: My husband isn't an emotionally unstable monster. I don't believe he would ever do anything like that to me. I wouldn't have married him if he was that kind of person.
(to another commenter): I have absolutely zero concern about my husband doing anything to it. He isn't that kind of person. He is incredibly stressed out about all of this and has said shitty things in anger but this isn't some tv show where he and my stepdaughter are going to have daddy and daughter bonding time with a sledge hammer.

Commenter: I think he was just frustrated and worried about his daughter. Hopefully you can talk it out with him and he will apologize for the "grow up" comment.

OOP: That is my impression in regards to him too.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to see your child suffering and not being able to fix that pain.
I've been doing my best to give him grace due to the circumstances.
It is something we will address when he has the spoons to do so.

Commenter: One question: who owns or rents the house you are living in? If it is yours you can suggest that your husband move out and get a place of his own to his daughter liking

OOP: My husband and I purchased it together. We are both on the mortgage.

Commenter: Then time to figure out who stays, who goes, and how the equity...if any...is split.

OOP: I don't intend to divorce my husband and throw away a decade plus long relationship because he said one shitty thing to me during a period of great stress for him.

Commenter: If he destroys the bookcase to show solidarity with his daughter, what will you do?

OOP: Have him pink slipped.
That is not the action of a reasonable adult. I would be very concerned for his mental state.

Commenter: I wonder if she made similar unreasonable demands in her mother’s home or at school that lead you to the conflict there?

OOP: Part of the issues with her homelife with her mother involved my step daughter demanding that her mother choose between her now husband and her because mom's husband's political views.
So, this isn't exactly left field behavior.

Commenter: Your stepdaughter needs a massive reality check and probably different therapists.

OOP: oof. We are on our 5th

More on therapy:

Yes. She meets with a psychiatrist as well as her therapists.
(to a different commenter) We are in family counseling already. Couple's counseling is likely to happen if there isn't a resolution to this current bookcase issue in the very near future.

Commenter: Info needed: what is your ‘wrong stance’ when it comes to trans issues?

OOP: I'm kinda middle of the road when it comes to the trans political issues, and mostly take the stance of "I don't know, I have my own feelings about the issues but as it is not my area of expertise I am not beholden to them and I will leave these big problems up to the people who have made learning about them their focus of study"
Like, I get my feathers ruffled when medically uneducated politicians try to interfere with any kind of health care. Like seriously ruffled.
I believe that people facing gender identity issues should have free and easy access to health care and therapy to navigate those issues.
I believe that society in general should strive to use preferred pronouns if only as a matter of politeness.
But when it comes to things like trans people in sports or having afab only "safe spaces" - I see both sides of the argument and refer back to my "I think this should be left up to the people who focus on this and not form a super strong opinion either way based on my lay opinion"

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 12, 2024 (1.5 months later)
Some one asked if I could update this situation, and I'll try my best to summarize the past several weeks.
My husband and I spoke about the situation. He apologized for being snappish with me, and agreed that SD was being unreasonable about the bookcase. He ultimately agreed to back me about it. He and I are just as tight as we ever have been.
I once again apologized to my SD for the remark I said out of frustration about her moving back with her mom. I reiterated that our home is her home too and she is always welcome here. That even though families sometimes fight and disagree we ARE family.
But the general argument about HP, JK Rowling, and my bookcase continued to escalate for a couple weeks. And then the discontent about that started to bleed over into complaints about me. She started to be more disrespectful and sarcastic.
During all of this we were still attending our family therapy sessions. Our therapist was pretty certain that the misbehavior was anxiety related and didn't suggest that we give in to the demands to have the bookcase removed and wanted to just keep working on the things we all have been.
Well, SD's disrespectful attitude hit a climax. She called me the c word and some other choice things within my husband's ear shot. My husband honestly kinda lost it on her. I don't think I have EVER seen him that angry before. He was bright red and vein popping angry as he marched her to her room and declared "YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO MY WIFE IN SUCH A WAY".
This was probably the first time my SD had ever seen her dad angry, let alone anger directed at her. It left her pretty shook. Like that was her rock bottom. We ended up needing to do a couple emergency session with her counselor because there was concern about her relapsing with some self-destructive issues she has been working on.
But that incident lead to us having a break through. Her counselor invited my husband and I into one of her sessions, and she had a bit of a break down. Basically she was dealing with a lot of existential dread and a lot of fear due to politics and it being an election year.
That ended up being an excellent opening for us to bond. This is gonna sound silly but I was able to pull up my social media timelines back from 2016 and I showed her some of the things I had written or had shared with me back then.
She was able to see that I shared a lot of the same fears that she has.
So we have all had some really big talks about things like feeling helpless when things are out of your control, about disengaging from the media machine for your own mental health, etc.
Things have been on the upswing since then. Before she left for her mom's this past weekend she even gave me a mother's day gift. An adorable little planter that says Caution: Mandrakes.
I love it. I put one of my favorite props in it and it is front and center on the bookcase now.
Relevant Comments:
To a downvoted commenter:

your continued support of JK Rowling through fandom will likely be an issue for other LGBT people in your life

The only other LGBT person in my life sent me bertie botts every flavor beans in my christmas package this past year...
Commenter: This poor girl is terrified of being kicked out from another set of abusive parents and is forcing herself to buy merchandise to support someone who wants her dead to make her stepparent happy. This update is horrifying, for real.

OOP: Hope you stretched before this reach.
SD was not kicked out of her mom's home. That was a choice she made. She is in no danger of being kicked out of our home either.

Captains, yes yes the factory's being built and that's great, but something awful has happened at one of the coal mines!
​
Stat Chart:

Healthcare: 3/5 (Average) Capacity: 28 Treating: 27 (Sick 10, Injured 12, Gravely Ill 5) Healed per Day: 21 Untreated: 0	Carehouse Capacity: 15/15 Treating: 10 Engineers (Amputees), 5 Workers (Amputees)	Hope: 5/9 (Optimistic)	Discontent: 5/7 (Resentful)
Raw Materials: 160 +58/Day +10% Hope Bonus	Coal Production: +462/Day +15% Foreman Bonus on two mines Coal Usage: 435/Day Coal: 2915	Ration Production: 33/day Ration Consumption: 28/day Rations: 685 Estimated Days of Rations: 24	Steam Cores: 0
Natural Temperature: Freezing (-25°C)	Home Temperature: Citizens Living in Warm (+10°C) Housing: 336	Work Temperature: Sufficiently heated workplaces: 10 Insufficiently heated workplaces: 12	Fatigue: 3/7 (Overworked)
Population: (368 Citizens) (136 Workers) (32 Guards) (63 Engineers) (32 Medical Personnel) (32 Administrators) (14 Scouts) (59 Children)	Coal Mine Safety: 3/5 (Hazardous) -1 Base Safety -3 Toxic Fumes +1 Air Shafts +1 Ventilation Plant	Scouts: Unit #01 - 4 Unit #02 - 5 Polaris Scouts - 5	Guards: 0/32 Guard Posts - 30 Guard Booth - 2
Workers: 11/136 Coal Miners - 45 Steel Workers - 5 Lumberers - 15 Gardeners - 30 Amputees - 5 Hunters - 15 Prostitutes - 5 Cookhouse Amputees - 5	Engineers: 1/63 Researchers - 5 Amputees - 12 Gardeners - 10 Lumberers - 15 Steel Workers - 10 Foremen - 3 Generator Maintenance - 10	Medical Personnel: 4/32 Medical Cabins - 25 Care house - 2 Arrested - 1	Administrators: 7/32 Public House - 5 Guard Office - 6 Child Shelter - 4 Department of Information - 10

Coal Mine Catastrophe CAVE-IN!
Captains, there has just been a cave-in! The exact cause and casualties remain unknown. However, we can confirm that one of the miners, Abel Rockwell, was last seen in the collapsed mine, and is most likely trapped. A rescue team has been formed, and the operation will begin soon.
Currently, the team has already reported that a massive amount of methane gas has been released and built up down in the mine, way past the level of what our ventilation plant can normally handle. The workers are requesting to set the plant on overdrive. However, this will consume a large amount of coal and likely damage the plant for the next few days. Unless we assign some professionals who can monitor the equipment… at the cost of their safety.
​
We Cannot Afford To Overdrive The Ventilation Plant The difficulty of this rescue operation will greatly increase. Hope falls by 2. Discontent rises by 1.
We'll Overdrive The Ventilation Plant The difficulty of this rescue operation will decrease. 800 Coal will be spent. The ventilation plant will be broken for the next few days. Hope rises by 1.
We'll Overdrive The Ventilation Plant, And Assign Engineers To Monitor It The difficulty of this rescue operation will decrease. 800 Coal will be spent. The ventilation plant may be shut off before major damage could occur. The Generator Maintenance Crew will be watching over the ventilation plant, and may be in danger if an accident happens. Hope rises by 1.
View Poll

1️⃣. Share a single selection, avoid additional picks in comments, but feel free to link to your other choices in different daily threads. 2️⃣. Exclude parlays/teasers from your submissions. 3️⃣. Odds should range between -200 and +200 (1.5 and 3.0). 4️⃣. Keep bet size between 1 and 5 units, avoiding extravagant claims like "100 unit locks." 5️⃣. Justify your Pick of the Day with a write-up, incorporating system/model details if applicable, including relevant data like ROI or record. 6️⃣. Specify the time, sport, and event of your pick. Avoid top-level comments without an accompanying pick.

1️⃣. Share a single selection, avoid additional picks in comments, but feel free to link to your other choices in different daily threads. 2️⃣. Exclude parlays/teasers from your submissions. 3️⃣. Odds should range between -200 and +200 (1.5 and 3.0). 4️⃣. Keep bet size between 1 and 5 units, avoiding extravagant claims like "100 unit locks." 5️⃣. Justify your Pick of the Day with a write-up, incorporating system/model details if applicable, including relevant data like ROI or record. 6️⃣. Specify the time, sport, and event of your pick. Avoid top-level comments without an accompanying pick.

Is there some kind of cheat which allows players to magically spawn units wherever? I bombed a level 2 AC and dropped it to about 5÷ health. There were no other units around heading in the same direction. Because I didn't kill it in one shot, it took the province (was a rural, doesn't really matter). A little while later I saw it cross my border as the single almost dead armored car. I had a commando unit headed in the direction already, so I set its path to go through the AC as I had plenty of attack power to wipe the AC. Just as my commando arrived, the enemy unit suddenly changed to 4 almost full health ACs. I literally watched it cross my border as 1. Replenishing health with gold/boosters is one thing, but magically spawning 3 other units that weren't there 2 minutes prior with no buildings around to have produced them in? How is this even possible? Some sort of cheat mod?

Hi all,
Today was frustrating as I changed my gear oil. The previous oil from last season looked fine and so I put in the new oil. 2 hours later, I put the muffs on the lower unit to start the engine before bringing it down the ramp and into the river. I paused for 2 minutes on the ramp and the water got to about the level of the bellows (which I just replaced… more on that later). I then remembered I wanted to check the gear oil again to make sure it was at the right level.
So I moved it up the ramp a few feet and pulled the dipstick. It was light brown/white and so it seems water got in, in the short time I had the muffs on, or the even shorter time the lower unit was in the water.
There was maybe a half inch to an inch of the milky oil when I further opened the gear case.
My questions are this:

1. What would cause water to get in there while running the hose to the muffs?
   
2. I just replaced my bellows. Any immediate red flags there?
   
3. It seems unlikely that that much water got on while the lower unit was sitting in the water for a few minutes. The bottom and middle drain/fill holes were submerged though, as well as everything bellow the bellows area with the drive parked up.
   
4. The oil was in there for 3 hours at most. How did it become so milky so quickly? And I right to understand that the oil and water need some “frothing” to become purely white/cream colored? I never ran the drive. How could that have happened?
   

Thanks so much, and I hope I was clear. It’s been a long day.

Hi all,
Family of six visiting from 7/5 to 7/10...we will have a rental van, but if we can prefer to use metro line.
if we cant' we'll use the van.
I choose these two hotels b/c they offer self laundry and free breakfast .
Looking at :
Hampton DC convention center:
901 6th Street Nw
Washington, 20001 United States of America
VS
Residence Inn Arlington Capital View
2850 D. potomac Ave
Arlington, VA

1. pros and cons of each location
2. Obisouly want to be somewhat close to museums and mounments
3. Walkable places to eat, etc.

Please let me know. Thank u all!