How to play runescape in school

i have always, in general, been a no homework teacher (philosophically). i utilize my class time (which is most of these kids' days) carefully and efficiently and have never felt like there is a benefit to assigning work outside school, when i want my students to be outside, spending time with their families, playing sports, etc.
my main goal as a teacher is to foster a love of learning, and to me, the assignment of a task that becomes a crushing obligation isn't the way to do that.
this year, i taught third grade and as a class, didn't assign homework. i Do encourage my kids to read each night (most of them are avid readers) and i also encourage those that are not yet fluent in all their multiplication fact to practice those.
i really Really want my kids to be reading each night, and we've spoken continuously about how important reading is, and i think it's an incredible opportunity for parents to bond with their child and explore literature that their child is individually interested in. i don't think it makes it as fun and enriching and fulfilling if you're recording how many pages you've read and blah blah and having your parent sign it. my school "requires" a reading log across all grade levels because we are "built around a love of reading", but my most unpopular opinion is that not all kids are going to love reading. not all kids are going to love Anything, and us requiring a reading log doesn't change that.
i apologize if this seems discursive. what grade level do you teach and how do you handle reading outside of school?

Hey guys, I'm probably going to be playing 1st for Chicago the musical next fall and I want to prepare over the summer. I found a free pdf of the original book(which will be different than the teen edition but I'm assuming similar enough) and i have to growl a lot. I'm confused on how exactly I should do it? Would it fit the style of Chicago more to flutter tongue or to actually hum? I can already hum while playing but I always feel like it sounds bad from behind the bell and I've never taken the time to record it or actually practice it. I can't flutter tongue but I can probably learn if I tried. What one would be more true to the style? Specifically the beginning trumpet solo- I want to make it as nasty as possible.
Also, any general tips for Chicago? Im generally a more classical player, I play in a youth orchestra and never did jazz band on trumpet at our school because we had too many trumpet players so I haven't had the chance to actually learn jazz. I plan on transcribing some solos over the summer as well as taking home some of our old jazz band music to play through but any tips would help a lot.

This is a follow up to this post https://www.reddit.com/GayBroTeens/comments/1akyx0l/came_out_to_my_school_in_a_muslim_country_today/
Turns out, my class ain't exactly as accepting as I thought they were. They're currently now avoiding me like the plague. I feel like people now only care about who I wanna fuck as though it's the only side of me that exist.
I'm happy that I can be out to someone but now i'm just a one dimensional gay guy who creeps around. I've tried to talk to people but they seem to think that just talking to me would get me interested in them. Any time I think some guy would actually be (at the very least) treating me nicely, it turns out they have some kind of weird innate distrust of anything I do. I could literally walk around a room and they will speculate on my next 'target' when I was just going to the toilet.
I was once a pretty shy kid, never talking if I didn't have to. I'm semi out of my shell rn but I still don't really know how to interact with people. Anytime I wanna talk to people, it just becomes awkward. I just really want a friend but people seems to think that I just want a "friend" with the word "boy" preceding it.
Even when I get to talk to girls, they'll think of me as their mandatory "gay best friend". I constantly hear other people talk shit about me as though i'm just an imaginary rainbow powered robot that walks and talks, not like an actual human being.
Perhaps I pretended to hit on someone because people thought it was funny. I just wanted people to be happy and laugh. I don't want them to be sad or bored but perhaps I misplayed a move. I'm sorry if I played too far into the stereotype of the heart shaped pupil gay guy. It's my fault for being too short-sighted to see what kind of trouble my actions would bring.
Is it bad that I regret my actions and want to change it? Is it too late now and I should bear any bad repercussions that comes my way? Is it bad I want to change course because i'm afraid of the consequences?

hey so i am (F19) now in college, but the negative comments/experience I had had in high school sticks to me. I had moved around high school freshman - sophomore (covid for half of freshman and full year for sophomore) year i stayed a new high school in a new district, moved again junior year to the old district in a new high school. I had known some people from elementary, tried to catch up, it was good for the first half of the year, but later on it went downhill. people (girls) were not that nice, I would say that I use positive reinforcement in a negative way.
Some girls who I thought were my friends would sometimes say things and in the moment, I would feel for a second that it was hurtful, but because I like to protect myself, I painted it as maybe a joke, them being playful, and I did that for the rest of the school year. It was really the first time people ever really dug at me. I am not good at confrontation and I don't like to see the truth if I know that it will hurt me.
It was the typical things, pretending to be your friends upfront, or making comments surrounding your body, backbiting, being judge mental, making comments surrounding my intelligence, (i would ditch, but i was really sad and I constantly looked for anything to make me happy) I know that from high school to older age, you do hit puberty again and I was a bit skinnier back then and sometimes their comments would revolve around my body and now that I have gained a few pounds I can feel the old comments being reinforced (in my head). Or some comments that I am not that pretty, and somethings I believe in those comments, even though i know they aren't true, I know a part of me believes it. It's hard to think that people who have done you wrong will live a peaceful life.
We live around the same area so smths I fear (even when writing this) that they may see this post or see me and laugh. I have struggled with my sense of self esteem, since I have been little. I tend to cover it by trying to appear confidence, which backfires and I usually end up being cocky. I try to cover it with makeup or my hair, but I know that when I take it all of, it isn't me.
I am obsessed with them and I can find myself ruminating with the idea. I have already talked with a counselor ( i went online for senior year to get mental health) and I fear when I see them (old classmates, not the girls in general) that they smths look at, some have asked, one followed me for a bit, and I know it is none of their business, but it still haunts me.
I constantly feel the need to prove something to them even though they are no longer in my life, maybe my ego is hurt, but I tried talking to counselors and they seem frustrated that I'm stuck in the same situation, so I'm afraid. I want to be better and live free of them.
How do I move forward, live in the present, not fear them anymore, and improve my self esteem. It seems I pretend to be confident ends up in being cocky and cry bcuz deep down I know I’m insecure
please if any advice, whether hard truth or anything nice, I am open

Hi, (Female, 17) here. My sister (21, Female).
When I was younger, around 12 - 13, I had a pretty good relationship with my older sister, we'll call her Sam.
Sam and I were very close, we shared hobbies and got along perfectly fine. But around the time I turned 14-15, Sam changed drastically.
I started noticing it with her body language. She started looking at me with disgust. She no longer enjoyed hanging out with me and would always make up an excuse to ditch me. I could tell our relationship changed but I wasn't sure why.
It got worse over time. Sam would picked fights and called me horrible names. The ones used most often are "Conceited, selfish, b*tch." I hadn't changed, I still acted the same, I still loved the same things as I did when I was 12. She got very personal and hurtful with the insults. She made fun of my hair, my voice, the way I walked. She made it clear that she didn't like anything about me anymore. It hurt a lot and I felt alone for a while. When I entered high-school, I made more friends and really enjoyed their company. I feel like they helped turned me into a more confident and happier version of myself.
Sam didn't really talk to me around this time but one day, I woke up to her screaming about me to my mother early in the morning. This came as a shock because we hadn't spoken or even fought prior to this. It was totally random. She told my mother that she didn't want to be near me, how she hated me and I was a stupid c*nt. It sounded like she was in tears when she was screaming this. That's how I knew this hatred she had for me was real. She told my mother she was going to physically attack me and beat me up. Of course, everyone thought she was bluffing but it turns out she wasn't. She attacked me about 3 times. Luckily, someone was always there to pull her off of me. Sam was bigger than me. She was taller and weighed more so of course she overpowered me. It was absolutely terrifying to have someone who you always loved and trusted, completely turn on you and try to hurt you.
Eventually things calmed down. Sam got a job and was finally socializing outside of our family. She didn't go to school so she had all the time in the day to do anything but unfortunately spent it making my life a living hell. She made me extremely insecure about myself but around 15 - 16, I gained my confidence back and tried to ignore everything she said to me.
My other older sister, we'll call Veronica, was talking to this guy, who she really liked, and I noticed Sam would flirt with him a lot. As time went on, Sam managed to steal this guy from Veronica and they started dating. This absolutely BROKE Veronica. She had to watch her sister and her ex bf dating, kissing, and flirting in front of her. Every time Veronica was near them, Sam would have this smug smile on her face and rub it in Veronica's face. I was so pissed for Veronica. Sam ended up getting her karma and the guy broke her heart. Now every time Veronica is talking to or seeing a guy, Sam always asks if she can meet him or go out with them together and Veronica won't let her. I can't blame her. Sam is sneaky and if she's not flirting with Veronica's boyfriend, she's trying to embarrass her.
I notice Sam tries to embarrass me a lot. When we're out in public setting, she'll always say something obnoxiously rude. She tells everyone I'm shy when I'm really not. I'm actually the most bubbly in the family. I just don't say anything around her cause I'm uncomfortable and I don't want her to embarrass me. She tells everyone I'm a conceited diva and she makes herself seem humble and down to earth. The other day we were out with some family members that we hadn't seen in years and Sam was taking pictures of the view and I was watching her take the photos and she looked at me and yelled "ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE REFLECTION OF MY CAMERA" and I explained to her that I couldn't see myself because the camera was flipped and I was just watching the photos be taken. Usually I don't defend myself or explain, I'd just laugh things off but this time, I was sick of her making me look like a concieted b*tch to people so I made it clear she was misunderstanding and I could tell she didn't like this. She snarled and stormed off. It got pretty awkward after that and everyone was confused about why she was saying that to me.
Sam ended up getting a boyfriend. I didn't like him so I stayed away but she would always bring him over even though he treated my family like crap. He called my dog ugly, he never thanked my grandma for cooking them dinners, and he ignored my other family members. He would come over and flop on the couch like a beached whale. I couldn't tell him to leave so I hid in my bedroom. I found out from him that Sam was sharing a lot of me and my family's personal business. Things like, money, drama, lawsuits, and issues we were having within the family that were NOT supposed to be discussed for fun. She shared EXTREMELY private things and this broke my family's trust with her. Everyone tried to keep things secret from her out of fear that she'd tell people she knew. Sam shared me and another family member's sexuality with her friends and boyfriend. I told Sam that I was not ready to tell my parents yet because they weren't big supporters of that kind of stuff. She now holds this over my head and hints about it to my parents. She doesn't do this to my other family member even though they aren't out either, she only uses this again me.
One time my Sam got drunk and told me that her and her boyfriend had sex where I sleep. She thought this was absolutely hilarious and I was so pissed. I had never felt such anger and betrayal. She also made a few sexual jokes about me to her boyfriend which left me feeling disgusted so I'd rather not discuss those.
Sam is almost 22 now and she's still living with us. She doesn't have a job and she doesn't help much with chores. She plays on her phone all day or watches TV. I'm working 3 days a week and finishing school but Sam tells me that I do nothing all day and I need to do more with my time. She also told me I shouldn't be allowed to finish high-school because she never did, even though she didn't want to finish and dropped out by choice. I tried to explain to her that I really want to finish high-school and save up money for college but she thinks I don't deserve to.
She stills says horrible things to me like "you have no future, you'll still be sitting on your ass in your parents house when you're 30." She also told me that she hopes I can't have kids because I'd be a terrible selfish mother. She steals my food and shames my interests.
I miss the sister who loved me back. I don't know who she is now and I don't know why she thinks we're in competition.
Please share your thoughts on my story and let me know if you've dealt with similar issues! 💛

I (21m) live in a small town in rural Arizona. Over the past year, I became closer to an old coworker (24f). Who I use to work with in high school.
Since the start of 2024, she's been talking to this guy, let's call him Adam (27m). Her and Adam would only hang out at night and during this time they would drink a lot. Adam was known for doing bad stuff, and when they get into arguments, she would always tell me how he would threaten her. I keep telling her to block him and leave him as he would go days on end blocking her and going no contact, which makes her upset.
She had a previous drinking and driving experience which led to her being hospitalized and her friend in jail. In April, her mother and sister called me in the middle of the night asking where she was as they were concerned for her. This is during a time where her and Adam were not talking as Adam almost caused a car crash when they were out drinking together. I checked her location and told them where she was. When her mom and sister went to the location, which was at a lake, they found her severely intoxicated with Adam. TDLR, they got in an argument and her sister had to drive her vehicle back home. During this time, my friend called me to tell me to come get her, and her mom said it's fine for me to come get her. It was a hectic night and there was a lot happening. Throughout the whole night, she called Adam over 100 times and he either blocked her or turned off his phone. The following morning, we got an early breakfast and she told me that she would never talked to Adam again and I told her how her relationship with Adam is affecting her family and her friends relationship.
After this incident, it seems its put a strain on our relationship. Every time I come to help her and she gets a phone call, she would go outside and come back when the phone call is done. She doesn't say who the person is. Yesterday was her sisters graduation, and I was suppose to head over to their house and pick her up so that we can get a banner for her sister. As I was near her house, she called and said she's not gonna go but never said a reason. Two hours later when everyone was at their house and we were getting ready to go to the school. We got into her vehicle and on her CarPlay, it showed Adams name. I brought it up by saying, "interesting." and all she said was that they've been talking off and on.
The entire time during graduation, I couldn't talk to her cause she was always on her phone texting.
She knows my position with Adam, but all she says is that she doesn't care what I think. After repeated times of telling the obvious of why Adam is bad, constantly drinking, constantly starts arguments etc. I'm tired of being there for her when she knows this person only hurts her.
WIBTA if I distanced myself from my friend? I had so many plans with her this summer, fishing, hiking, and traveling but it seems like she has different priorities. I feel bad as the place she worked at, the manager is interested in hiring me for the summer, and I don't know if it would make things awkward.

That’s all it was. A game.
Something my friends and I used to play during the summer when we had nothing better to do. I never expected that it would get so out of hand.
I never expected it to come back long after recovery.
To anyone reading, please don’t do what I did.
I’m putting this out there to warn people.
On that warm summer evening, we played the role of Pandora.
Except, the monsters we released were far worse than what’s told in stories.
Because stories end.
And this doesn’t.
I still remember the date. July 16, 2013. I was an upcoming senior in high school while the others were getting prepared for their freshman year of college, raving on about their majors, life plans, dorms, you get the point. The summer had been bittersweet as those months would be the last I’d see them for a while. Because of this, Anthony, Lola, Eliza, and I would spend the bulk of our time together going to festivals and various camping trips, trying to make the most out of the summer while we could. On that day, the day I wish I could forget, Eliza had run late to one of our hangouts at my place. This was odd since as an Ivy league student, she was usually early or right on time to these kind of things. Half past three, we heard her knocking on my door rapidly, which was also out of character considering that she was usually the calm one in our group. A bit worried, I hurried down the stairs with Anthony and Lola following close behind, expecting Eliza to be in hysterics due to her frantic behavior. When I opened the door, however, there she was with a bright smile on her face, her red hair getting in the way of her eyes, which were a dark green shade. She pushed her hair out of her face with one hand and held a brown box in the other, and she was bouncing up and down as she usually does when she’s about to talk about something exciting.
“You’ll never believe what I found.” Eliza’s voice could barely hold her impatience as she stepped inside and kicked her shoes off once she crossed over my threshold.
“What’s up with you today?” Anthony questioned, looking more confused than concerned now.
“I’ll show you guys in a minute. Can we go up to your room, Felix?” Eliza looked over at me with her trademark smile, knowing damn well we were all too curious to just leave that box unopened. Without a word, I led the group up to my room and shut the door after everyone had walked in. Anthony took his usual spot on my beanbag and unzipped his hoodie, which had the MSM logo sprawled across the front in big red letters. He adjusted his dark rimmed glasses and took on his usual stoic expression. Lola wore a dark blue FIT shirt, which she revealed more of when she moved her locs over her shoulder as she sat on my desk chair and wheeled over to us. As she did, the various necklaces she wore clinked against each other. Eliza herself was the smartest out of the group, and probably in the whole school as well. She had gotten accepted into multiple prestigious schools, but ultimately settled for Harvard to pursue a degree in some obscure philanthropic career. Unlike Anthony and Lola, Eliza wore her regular outfit –usually a white tank top and jeans– and sat on my bed with the box in her lap. I took a seat next to her to get a closer look.
“So what’d you find?” The others moved closer.
“Something we probably haven’t thought about for a really long time. Do you guys remember that one game we used to play in middle school? The one we made after Felix joined our class?” Eliza looked at our puzzled faces to see if we had connected the dots, but her clue didn’t seem to strike any of us with familiarity.
“After Felix joined? Didn’t we just hang out or something that weekend?” Anthony questioned.
“We did, but there was something else,” Eliza raised an eyebrow, “you guys seriously don’t remember?”
At that moment, I saw Lola’s eyes light up and a thin smile grew on her lips, something she always did whenever she was able to figure something out.
“You mean that little map game we played? Where we would go out to the woods and explore?”
Both Anthony and I seemed to have remembered as well with the mention of a ‘map game.’ I chimed in, “ yeah I remember! Every once in a while when we were all bored, we’d pick a random spot on a map to go to and explore there for a bit, right? When did we stop doing that anyways? I remember really enjoying it.”
“Well life happens,” Eliza responded to me, “but I was thinking of things to do for the rest of the summer when I suddenly remembered that game! That’s why I was so late for our meetup today, I was looking through my attic for this.” Eliza shook the box slightly and a couple things clattered around inside.
“There’s no way.” Anthony sounded like he was in disbelief.
“You mean…?” Lola sat forward in the chair. Eliza smirked, her adventurous nature creeping out as realization swept over us like a wave.
“Mhm! I found the map we used to use as well as the things we collected from our little escapades.” With that, Eliza opened the box, revealing a folded piece of paper and various trinkets scattered over the bottom of the capsule. Lola squealed with excitement and immediately snatched the box from Eliza, who simply chuckled and leaned back on the bed.
“No way! Everything’s still in here!” Lola digged through the box and placed whatever objects she found across the blanket. Anthony got up and sat at the foot of my bed, to observe our findings more closely. There was a piece of some clay pottery, some rusty springs and scraps of metal, an old digital camera, and some other random stuff I can’t recall to memory right now. Anthony picked up a spring and turned it in his palm.
“Shit man, this is from that abandoned junkyard we found in 8th grade…that feels like such a long time ago now.”
I examined the piece of pottery with Eliza looking over my shoulder. Lola picked up the digital camera.
“Do you remember where this came from?” I turned to Eliza and held up my discovery.
“No clue,” she shrugged. It must have been a while ago if even she didn’t remember. I turned the piece over and grew curious when I saw weird symbols inscribed on the inside of it. I squinted a bit, trying to discern some sort of pattern within the scribbles.
I turned to Eliza again, “hey, what do you think-”
“OH MY GOD GUYS IT STILL WORKS!” Lola’s voice went up a whole octave as she motioned to us.
The rest of us looked up as she turned the camera to face us. There were various photos we went through. All of us at lakes, museums, exploring the woods; everything we did from 7th grade until my freshman year seemed to be documented. The last photo was arguable the best and msot bittersweet. It was a picture of the whole group from a while ago. We were sitting at Eliza’s dinner table with a giant chocolate cake on the middle of it adorned with two candles shaped like the numbers one and five. Eliza was talking to me in the photo. Her hair was even more red at the time and she wore it in a braid. I looked about the same in the photo as I did then, with light brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles scattered all over my body and face. I was smiling sheepishly at Eliza. I now knew why Anthony said it was obvious I had a crush on her in 8th grade. Lola went through the most changes out of all of us. At the time in the photo, she had her hair straightened and side-swept, with a bright pink streak in her bangs. She wore clunky jewlery and a frilly skirt underneath a long tank top, leaning over the table to cut another slice of cake. All of us had birthday hats on except for Anthony, who kept his sitting on the table. He held up a peace sign staring straight into the camera with a stoic expression. He looked like a statue compared to the rest of us, who were laughing and smiling. You could tell he was having fun, though.
“Well don’t you look like a ray of sunshine,” Lola snickered as Anthony shot her a dirty look.
“At least I didn’t go through some weird scene phase in freshman year,” He smiled and watched Lola’s face, knowing she was blushing despite her dark skin which made it practically invisible. I let a laugh slip out, but quickly stifled it knowing that if I kept going it would mean death. Lola side-eyed me and continued, “I was using my creative liberty to experiment with my options as an artist,” she said with an overly-posh accent that made Eliza laugh.
“Yeah Anthony, don’t be such a downer,” Eliza teased. Anthony simply rolled his eyes and suppressed a smile to pretend like he was mad at all of us. He looked into the box and picked up the paper we left, unfolding it with a hint of excitement and curiosity. When he looked at it, only two words came out of his mouth.
“Holy shit.”
“What, what is it?” Lola tried to look at the other side of the paper, but Anthony quickly held it out of her view.
“What if I didn’t want to show you?” A smile crept onto his face. This was one of those rare moments where he’d be in the moos to joke around with us.
“Don’t be a dick bro,” I said, laughing as I went to grab for the paper. Anthony just held it up in the air and pushed me off of him and I landed on my floor. While he was distracted, though, Eliza took her chance and snatched the paper right out of his hand.
“You boys need to learn to be nice,” she warned in her jokingly stern voice as she unfolded the paper and spread it out onto my bed. We all leaned over to look.
It was a map of a couple towns including ours. There were around ten small star stickers placed on different areas on the map near the streets the four of us lived in. On the top of the map, a couple words were scrawled in black sharpie; “Pick a Place!” I could see everyone’s faces light up.
“Oh my god it’s our map!” Lola shouted and pointed to one of the stars near her street, “this was where we found that old junkyard right?”
Eliza smiled, “I remember that. It feels like such a long time ago now.” She pointed to another star, “and this is where we found that lake we made a hideout of. I still remember swimming in there in 8th grade…”
The four of us reminisced for a while, talking about where we had gone and what we did there, and how impressive it was that we didn’t get tetanus from that junkyard. After nearly an hour of conversation, Eliza asked something that made all of us stop.
“So how about it guys? Do you want to do one last round before the summer ends?”
The rest of us looked around at each other. It was clear we all wanted to do it. Eliza seemed to catch on and she nodded.
“Who wants to pick where we go?”
“How about you do the honors?” Lola suggested, motioning towards the map. “You’re the one that brought this stuff in anyways.”
Eliza raised her eyebrow but didn’t object. Without a word, she examined the map for a few minutes, then placed her finger on one spot a bit far from my house.
“How about here?”
“You think we can make it that far?” Anthony asked.
“Well, we can drive now so why not?”
“You sure there’s some type of trail we can drive on? That spot looks pretty deep in the woods”
“We can find a path to drive on for a bit then walk the rest of the way. C’mon guys, this is probably our last chance to do something like this! Felix, you can drive right?”
Eliza and the rest turned to me with a hopeful expression. I had to comply.
“Sure. No big deal, right?”
All three of them cheered and high fived each other, looking pretty excited to go on one last adventure.
“So when do we leave?” I questioned.
Eliza flashed that smile again, “right now.”
“Right now?!”
“Hell yeah,” Lola chimed in. “It shouldn’t take that long, right?”
“I guess…” Even then I felt uneasy about the whole thing. I didn’t feel prepared enough to go on some random trip into the woods. I needed to pack food, water, flashlights, I had no idea how long this was going to take. Little did I know that those things would be the least of my worries a couple hours from then. I wish I could go back and convince my 17-year-old self that it wasn’t worth it, that I should just convince my friends to stay and talk for the rest of the day. I wish Eliza had never remembered that stupid game. In a way, I’m almost mad at her for what happened, but I know it wasn’t anyones fault. We just wanted to have fun. I wish we could’ve just had fun. But God had a different plan for us. One that made me think Satan himself devised it instead. On July 16, 2013, Anthony He, Lola Smith, Eliza Landserson, and Felix Johanson went on an adventure that none of them were ready for.
Author's Note:
If you just read all of that then thank you so so so much for doing so! I'm a rookie writer, so feel free to comment any constructive criticism you might have if you have actual writing experience! This is the first silly little story I'm posting here, so I hope you enjoyed :)

My wife cheated on me a month ago. I found out and she told me she wants divorce. In 20 years marriage I was loyal to her. I said that’s it, we have to divorce, can’t take this.
Since then our only car showed up two hotels, thanks AirTag, while I was at home with our son, taking care of him, feeding, bathing and getting to sleep. And her mom goes out and telling us she is going to meet her girl friends. Total BS!!! I believe they are going to hotels because the AP has wife and or family.
She knows I track our car, but she just doesn’t care anymore.
This week we started to meet our mediator. We both want a smooth divorce. 50/50 everything and shared custody.
I’m trying to refinance our home and pay her out. I’m handling all this alone. I handle the mediator too. I’m home with our son at home every day after school and take care of him, while she is at the gym at the evening.
Her only job would be finish her course, take the test, find a job and move out. And now she is just keep going to dates.
I’m not tired to take care of my son, I love him. I’m just tired of her and her BS.
We live in NC and it is a no fault state, but I’m not sure if I want a smooth divorce anymore.
My family says I should get full custody and go to court to get as much as I can because she doesn’t play fair.
Anyone in NC who knows what are my options? Is there any chance to get full custody?
She loves our son, but how will she take care of him when she is lazy doing her things to get ready for the divorce.
I’m just really tired of her. Without child I would fight as long as she even has a cent left. She doesn’t deserve anything, no sympathy, no mercy.

Our school has a chamber concert during the late fall where students get to get together with other students and pick a song to play at the winter concert. The concert is also a mandatory graded event for everyone who isn’t participating(Who is in any sort of band program that is) to make sure that they have an audience. It’s going to be my last year so I really want to do the chamber concert, but I’m not sure how to introduce the idea to someone or how to find someone to do it because I’m not friends with a lot of people very closely. How do I introduce the prospect?

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: Total Budget: Ideally, something under $1000 USD before tax. (I have some wiggle room but nothing above $1500), Country: USA
• Are you open to refurbs/used? No
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? Performance, built quality, battery life, style. I do not want that red nipple thing.
• How important is weight and thinness to you? Very important. Less than 5 lbs. as I will need to carry it to and from school/internship/practicum at some point. Nothing bulky.
• Do you have a preferred screen size? 14 to 16 inches
• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. Sims 3 & 4, Cities Skylines, Omori, and other like games. Zoom. I do use a lot of custom content/mods for the Sims.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? Sims 3 & 4. I usually use laptop mode but have most of the settings on medium. I would like to play other Steam games like Omori and Cities Skylines
• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? Ability to extend storage via SD cards. Good keyboard and build quality. I plan on getting a monitor to hook up to the laptop so I can have an easier time multitasking.
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. I am looking at the Lenovo Slim Pro 7. Ideally, I would like this laptop to last me through grad school and a few years after post-grad. Windows only.

TW, I do talk about my abuse and trauma in this, mostly about verbal and medical neglect.
It's almost like my family knows what they're doing to me. It's honestly frustrating. I'm almost always the one being neglected or ignored in conversations or at family events. And yeah, they were the ones that basically caused this damn disorder, it makes sense! But they apparently don't even know why I want to move into the college dorms so badly this fall???? How do they not see that I'm actively trying to not be around them specifically for extended periods of time???
I've always been the one my family put down and at this point I never know if I'm splitting on them or if the anger, abandoned, frustration, and stress I feel about/from them is actually rational. Because of that, it's honestly made me so confused with my own splits on my FP(who also has bpd). I feel like I'm going fucking insane at this point.
My family has always triggered me, but ever since starting medication back in February, I've noticed that they trigger me even more than before. I'm not as triggered with my FP, which is honestly a great thing! I haven't had any huge, explosive splits on them since starting my meds. But my family though? I fucking hate them. The parents that I live with have no regard for my food sensitivities(both in terms of the few allergies I have and also for sensory reasons(I'm also autistic btw)) and taste. And my mom(I don't live with her) thinks its a great idea to have 13(now 12) animals in her small-ass duplex and lets her new great dane "puppy" piss and shit everywhere and terrorize(not play) the cats. I literally had to grab my cat from there and now one of my friends are looking over her for a few months. Thank god.
My parents always hound on me for not having a job since August of last year, despite the fact that I've been applying for and interviewing for jobs actively since then! It's literally not my fault that the only "job" I have right now is Door Dash, which makes me constantly spend more money on gas than I can actually save up. Not to mention, it burnt me out pretty quickly after doing it for two months! They always try to "help" by sending me job listings, 99% of them I've either applied to or literally won't be able to do physically due to also being physically disabled! Which brings me to my next thing!
They have absolutely no fucking regard for my physical and mental health at fucking all. They simply think I just have depression and anxiety and thats it. They don't want to even believe that I'm autistic and have ADHD, BPD(which I basically refuse to tell them about, but I'm tempted so they learn how it's caused so they see just how much they fucked me up), DID, and maybe even Schizoaffective Disorder, which I'm still trying to work out with my therapist if that's another thing wrong with me or not. My parents don't want to even believe that I have POTs or dysautonomia of any kind, hypermobility, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, etc. They don't even believe me when I'm telling them that my vision is getting fucked because it's getting worse way too rapidly for someone my age(21) when there's literally a whole family history of this shit on my mom's side! Not to mention, we know jack shit about my grandmother's physical and mental health related shit on my fraternal side except for that she died of cancer in 2006! My parents refused to do any medical shit for me as a kid and still do now. All they would do was take me to my yearly checkup, the dentist once a year(when you're supposed to go like 2 times a year) and the eye doctor once a year. They don't take me seriously at all. When I was 11, I literally almost died from the fucking flu because of them! They made me stay at home while they went to my sister's band concert. Meanwhile, I couldn't fucking breathe and started choking on my own damn mucus for multiple minutes straight. I was fucking terrified. Now I'm always scared whenever I get sick, even if it isn't as serious as what I had went through. There's a reason why I'm not going to be seeing the family optometrist after my most recent appointment. Every medical or mental health professional that my parents would make me go to would gaslight me or brush me off.
Their negligence still holds up today too! And thats what fucking pisses me off! They helped my siblings pay for things for college but refuse to help me because "I didn't do well in high school, so it wouldn't really be a good idea to spend money on you because we know you're not going to do well in classes." What the fuck???? Maybe the reason why I didn't do well in school before is because y'all didn't LET me have any accommodations, refused to get me tested for literally anything, always put me down, and fucking verbally abused and neglected me 24/7! Just a month ago, I got into an argument with my stepmom and she legit told me, "Well, you don't have a job and I just want you to have a purpose in life." Why would you say that to someone?! Let alone your own kid?!
Oh don't get me fucking started on the younger of my two stepsisters(the older one hasn't done shit to me. She's the only one I'm not triggered by.) and how she has lied about me to my parents, aided/aids in my abuse, etc. She basically gets all the love and attention from my parents. They encourage her to do things, to live her best life, etc.
I don't even know if what I'm feeling right now is me splitting on my family or justifiable anger. All I know is that I'm upset with them and that I don't want to live in this damned house anymore. I've been wanting to leave it for years now but was always held back from it for one reason or another. I'm fucking upset.

Hello! I made a similiar post a while back but I wanted to retry this again after not much luck

leans on ferrari greetings .. you can call me poppi <3, i have an actual name so I’ll give you that if we click! To start I’m from London and yes I sound exactly how you think … I’m turning 21 early June so I’m entering my hag era..
[before texting send a cute message and a picture of you attached! <3]
For a conversation starter maybe you could mention what part of this post you liked? Did we have anything in common?

Here is a recent picture of me https://imgur.com/P5O4p8c there are more on my profile if you’re interested!
Relationship facts: Um zero 😭 idk if I’m cursed or like what but I’ve never had a genuine relationship before and definitely not a irl one in any way pfft. So I think it’s cause I run away like a coward when a guy would make there moves
Preferences: Open to long distance? I would love to meet one day ofcourse but with my studies and until I can move into dorms won’t be feesible for a while…
Please only message me if you’re actually attracted to me fr fr - preferences I like guys to be 5”8 or above cause I’m personally. 5”9 so 😭 my age range is firm at 19-24 I don’t feel too comfortable dating above or below that :(
About me?: Im East African! Im kinda chubby I suppose but it depends on what you would consider? My bmi is 20 but I am chubby so perhaps I’m cuddly? Well I am trying to go to the gym so I’m working on it. I’m 175cm tall and I do have long legs they are like 105cm… I hope and do plan to go to uni next year September so this is me reentering school sigh
I’m a complete chicken when it comes to horror films, i can’t do flying ants they are my biggest fear, I love to play games such as Minecraft, genshin, and lots of vr stuff… I mean if you got a vr headset marry me? I am a hopeless romantic actually, I can get clingy and when comfortable I am very physically affectionate if you like that! Listen I don’t shy away from giving kisses or cuddles and I’m also super loyal like um cheating? Could never be me… my mbti is both a mix of INFP and INTP but I’m more infp leaning i feel. I make really good desserts so I would love to cook and force feed you my delicious treats hehe
Rizz info?: If we get past the stage of calling and we get to video calls? Oh trust me the chemistry!! I’m a completely different person on video chat and calls than text so hey if you got a nice voice it’s probably over for me, my weakness..
More stuff about me: I love love indie pop and indie music it’s my weakness like TV girl are a treasured fave of mine… let’s Spotify share together <3 For tv I don’t watch as much as I used too but I do love total drama island, the old teen titans, shows like that oh and avatar I have a soft spot for aang and the gang!
Hates: I’m not a fan of dry texters 😭 I do believe in the whole to date somebody you should be friends type thing tbh and I’m kind of a dumb ass LMAO it would be nice if we could be dumb and dumber together you know like binge watch nikado avocado videos together 💀
I have once more yapped so much but you know flashes diamonds if it means me and you can meet then ya know…

Hi! I'm autistic with adhd, ptsd and severe anxiety
My son is 7 years old and autistic with adhd and I've run out of ressources and I'm on every waiting list imaginable. I was in an abusive relationship with his father. It took me nearly 7 years to get out of it, i have ptsd from this relationship, He ended up moving a few hours away- I was 25 when it ended and I went crazy- I couldn't be around my son as much. I always made sure he was with trusted family while i was trying to process everything, my brain was mush and all i had energy for was his appointments, crying in my bed, and driving to scream as loud as i can, I was so angry at myself and I couldn't forgive me. The last 3 years have been so challenging. After my 6 months long episode, I put all I could into being better. My son at that time was non verbal and nearly always in his little world constructing his cities and playing with trains. I spent so much time finding ressources as I had none. I ended up finding help, for 2 months. But with the help, the foundation was built and after 2 years of applying what I've learnt, being patient and kind, he now speaks, I've potty trained him entirely (that was long, its only been a few months), and I made him change schools for a specialized class, so he could get the appropriate help. (The school board where I was, didn't have the appropriate personel)
Im fighting for the custody full time as ive heard from his mother and sister that he has displayed some of his violent tendencies and continued to be psychologically abusif towards me. Cops even called me once because they found my son in his underwear in a local grocery store.
I know my son is angry that I'm not allowing him to see his dad, he's made it clear, and I know he misses his dad but I just want to ensure he's safe. I offer face time, and I've applied to supervised visits.
But the last two months he's become violent, at school and at home. He sometimes gets naked and pees on the floor. He smears his poop on the walls. He yells and he hits. He slams doors and throws. He's always been such a sweetheart and I can't handle these behaviors (especially the hitting as it triggers my ptsd, and I either scream for him to stop, cry, and once when I wasn't expecting it, he headbut me on my nose and I pushed him off of me out of reflex and It hurt him. I have so much guilt because of how poorly I'm handing this crucial part of his development. It's not going to go away if I can't even handle my own self.)
I've reached out to child protective services; I've reached out to every single person I could think of to just tell them I was failing and I need help and It always leads nowhere. I got one appointment this week, the therapist told me "well- you've made it this far haven't you? Just, keep trying." And removed me from a waiting list that was meant to help me get help regularly to handle my ptsd and trauma. I cried the whole way home. I feel like an absolute failure, i feel like he deserves better than me, and I don't know what else i can do.
I know that I need to wait for the other waiting lists to end up somewhere, I know I need to wait for the support and I need to keep fighting every step of the way but I'm so overwhelmed and just end up sleeping it off when he's at school, so I can try again to be a good mom when I go pick him up. I get so drained sometimes I just black out sitting at the kitchen table, while he's sleeping in his room. My Dr medicated me for depression- but we have to wait for everything else, and I don't know what I'm hoping for here... I feel alone, and I'm out of ideas. (I've tried to hide while he throws fits, he just tries to break the door until i get out, I tried just letting him continue his fit, I've tried distracting him; ive tried his comfort items/food, I've tried to make him call his dad, I've tried to calmly explain to him that I'm hurt, I'm bruised all over, all the time. After a fit, he comes up to me, hugs me and sometimes he just tears up. I know he hates it too.)
Is anyone able to give me some advice ?

How to tell student we aren’t performing his play
I’m a high school drama director. I have a talented student who has written one-act plays that have been performed at state festivals. Next year is his senior year & he’s written a full-length play that he has asked me to perform for our fall main stage show.
My problem is that the show just isn’t main stage performance quality. The student is incredibly emotionally invested in having the show performed and will be gutted if we don’t perform it. Unfortunately, it just really isn’t performance quality for a main stage show.
I’ve given him a couple of options if we don’t perform it main stage - performing it as a one-act at our state Thespian festival and in our spring showcase. He’s still really pushing to perform it this fall.
How do I tell him we won’t be performing his play? I don’t want to destroy him, but he has said that playwriting isn’t his future. He plans to go into a different field and this is his “last hurrah” in theatre. His show just isn’t high enough quality.
I do need to work with him and his friends next year as he is my Troupe President. I just don’t know what to say. Suggestions?

I’m a high school drama director. I have a talented student who has written one-act plays that have been performed at state festivals. Next year is his senior year & he’s written a full-length play that he has asked me to perform for our fall main stage show.
My problem is that the show just isn’t main stage performance quality. The student is incredibly emotionally invested in having the show performed and will be gutted if we don’t perform it. Unfortunately, it just really isn’t performance quality for a main stage show.
I’ve given him a couple of options if we don’t perform it main stage - performing it as a one-act at our state Thespian festival and in our spring showcase. He’s still really pushing to perform it this fall.
How do I tell him we won’t be performing his play? I don’t want to destroy him, but he has said that playwriting isn’t his future. He plans to go into a different field and this is his “last hurrah” in theatre. His show just isn’t high enough quality.
I do need to work with him and his friends next year as he is my Troupe President. I just don’t know what to say. Suggestions?
*student is gender fluid and I switched accidentally flipped during my post. They are one person who go by they/them/he/she - everything.

I am not really sure where to start or why I am writing this. I just need to get everything out...
Long...
Me (31) and my STBXH (32) have been married for 11 years and together 15 years. We have 3 elementary school kids.
He had his first affair 3 months after I had our last child. This lasted 3 years before I found out. We tried to work it out but he kept lieing and hiding things. It took a year before he told me the "whole" truth. From a drinking problem while he was alone with the kids to bring his affair partner over to the house while I worked and the kids slept. It was very hard to trust him as he refused to do anything I asked to fix the trust. Yet I was made to be the bad guy and him the victim. I have a post about the whole affair in surviving infidelity.
At the beginning of the year I thought we were getting back on track he made me homemade chocolates and got me flowers for valentine's day. That next weekend his new affair partner's baby daddy showed up at our home to confront him and make sure I knew. My daughter (5) witnessed some this before I could pull her into another room. Thankfully the other man left soon after. I asked my STBXH to leave. He said let me pack a bag and that was it. He left and went to pick up his affair partner. They ran off that night taking $900 out of our joint bank account. I put a stop to that by transferring everything to my mother's account till I could make a new one.
A week after we had a written agreement that he signed about support and parenting time. He would send $3100 a month and see the kids everyother weekend supervised. Now I did find out that his new girlfriend had ran off with her kids before disappearing for a month, so in fear of this and that her ex is claiming abuse from her I asked for supervised visits. I do believe that STBXH drinking problem was getting worse. STBXH told me not to get a lawyer we could do this cheap and peacefully. Load of BS I know now. He went back on the agreement a week later. Got a lawyer and claimed he was forced to sign that agreement. This whole time I was filling the paperwork out alone and asking him for help with the divorce. Nothing. He then said he had been talking to a lawyer. So I went out and put down a $3500 retainer on one as well.
For march he sent $1500 in child support and April $900. No court orders.
I have to admit I was a mess. Complete blindsided. This woman he ran off with is my oldest son’s best friend's mom. Lots of soccer games together and lots of sleepovers with her son at my house. STBXH never wanted our son at their house because he said it wasn't safe. I didn't know them that well. He doesn't care about the effect this has had on our oldest son and his best friend. He didn't want to tell our son but I had to force him. They are in the same class and see each other every day. The other boy already knew and our son (9) did not need to hear about how dad ran off with best friend's mom from another 9 year old.
I also found out he hid a gun in the house without me knowing. I had asked him after his first affair to remove all of them after he admitted to depression and drinking problem.
Anyway, our agreement stated 3 day notice before visitation. He didn't do this several times. He can talk to the kids every night on the phone he got them. He only talks to oldest (9) average 2 minutes most night. This past month has been soccer season and he hasn't been to a single game or practice except the last one after I refused to let him take the kids until there are court orders. He hasn't seen them in a month. He is claiming parent alienation. He even missed his last visitation no call no show.
He has bought the police to my house twice now. Once when he picked up most of his things back in February. He was afraid of the other dad showing up and possibly getting beat up. His own fault. This last time he brought the police to the house to pick the kids up and I knew he was coming so we left for my parents before he got there. Told him he could come to the kids games the next day and then to the park. I am not comfortable with him taking physical custody of the kids and having no way to get them back. The police can do nothing and i know he is only trying to bully and intimidated me in to giving the kids up. Again he has no court orders so they can do nothing. I saw him on the ring camera telling them that I am lieing to my lawyer. I'm not I have sent my lawyer a lot of proof of all my claims.
My lawyer has filed and sent in Temporary Orders and we are just waiting on a court date. No time line. I just don't know what to do. I don't trust him. It has been one lie after another. Mind games and blindsiding and playing victim. I just want all this to be over. The stress and always looking over my shoulder. I have had enough of this.

Just putting this out there, I have ADHD/autistic personality traits, so I already know that my views on "normal human interactions", are significantly different that most people's.
Growing up, me and my 2 younger brothers spent a lot of time hanging out with some of the other kids that lived near us, and now that we are adults, there are a few of us that have been getting together and having game nights every month or 2, and for the most part it is nice to see an old friend, and get time to hang out with my brothers (1 lives with me, but it is still nice to play games and just hangout). The problem is that there is one member of the group that I do not like. We'll call him 'Jack'
For context, this guy has never wronged me directly, in fact, he thinks that we are good friends. I have honestly never liked him, or considered him anything more than someone who is around/a friend of my brothers. I think it was just an age difference thing, at first, but as we got older I never found anything I liked about him. One of my brothers "dated" his older sister in grade school (He will be called 'Larry'), and 'Jack' instantly got very attached to him, seeing him like an older brother figure. That combined with him not having a super great home life, has lead to 'Jack' to try and overly include himself in my family over the years.
At first it was nothing, just hanging out at our place a lot, which wasn't bad, I just didn't interact with him directly unless I had to (I was never mean to him, but I didn't go out of my way to be his buddy). Then it started getting frustrating, 'Larry' wouldn't want to hang out, so 'Jack' would hang out with my other brother ('Nick'), and after a few minutes, he would spend more time trying to get 'Larry's' attention, and would just leave 'Nick' on his own, which pissed me off as I got older, and saw what was happening. At the time I did not mention anything, because I was just happy 'Jack' was leaving me alone. He also started calling himself "the 4th brother", or our mom's "4th son", which I have always found creepy, and I know my mom is not the biggest fan of him, or when he says that, but much like me, she does not say anything, because for some reason both of my brothers still consider him a friend (Both of my brothers are aware of how I feel about him, and also talk about how irritating and annoying they find him as well).
Cut to the last game night, it was me, 'Nick', another of our childhood friends, and 'Jack' ('Larry' had work, so couldn't be there). I do not know if it was lack of sleep the night before, if it had something to do with us being down one person so there was less people between me and "Jack', or if my tolerance for him being in my life has grown less and less over the years, but I was just having a bad time with him around. I played it up, and pretended to have a good time, chatting and hanging out like everyone else, but as soon as I got out of there, I was so exhausted, and almost regret the time I felt like I wasted.
I do not expect my brothers to not be his friend, because I dislike him, but this guy is the bane of my existence, and he literally gives me a head ache if I spend more than 5 minutes in a room with him. I don't know if I am just here to vent, but besides me finding a way to get out of these game nights, I cannot think of a peaceful resolution to this. I dread these game nights, and will complain about them the whole week leading up to them, because this 'Jack' guy rubs me the wrong way that much. I do not think he is a bad person, I just do not want anything to do with him, and have found myself in a situation where social niceties are almost forcing me to spend time with him.
I apologize for the epic novel, but if anyone has any advice on how I should approach this or how I could get out of this, I would appreciate it.

So for a bit of context, my parents have been divorced since I was three. I am 17 now. I’ve been going to my dad’s place every other weekend since. At home, I live with my mom and my step dad, who’s been here for 10 years now. Come today, while at my dads, I was talking to him about my friend getting kicked out by his parents for no reason and how I told him “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to my parents and see what I can do for you and hopefully you’ll be able to stay with us for a while.” My dad didn’t like though, that I said “parents” because he doesn’t see my step father as my parent, because he (my dad) is. He told me that my step dad can’t “come and pick me up from school” but I told him that he can, and has. My grandpa was there and he kept telling me to be quiet because I suppose I was angering my dad. His face was a bit serious-looking. I told my dad that it’s not like I refer to my stepdad as my dad, I simply use the word parents because it is simply more convenient then saying “my mom and my stepdad” he stood quiet for a while and he got up and went to the restroom, came out, and went to his bedroom and stayed there. I asked him what he was doin g and he said he was just cleaning and putting his PlayStation in order, which I already did cuz I moved it when I was playing on my PlayStation. I didn’t ask more and I simply went back to the living room and continued to talk to my grandpa. He came out with a basket of laundry, he was a little more quiet than usual but he started the washing machine and went back to his room and closed the door. He told me to tell him when I was ready to play video games with him which we were set to do since before he got like this. He’s never gotten this way and I don’t know if I was the one to upset him. By saying this to him and I I sort of feel bad. Was it my fault?

Not a super bad horror story but one that’s followed me for a while.
I started playing tabletop games around 14 years ago and I’m honestly surprised I still love them with the way I was treated at first. So I met a guy who introduced me to a group because he heard I wanted to try out roleplaying games. I had dabbled a bit in middle and high school but nothing stuck so hearing I had another chance made me really excited. He went on and on about his Shadowrun game and how all of his friends had stories about their characters and how they’d been playing for years. That really excited me because I wanted to be apart of a long running campaign and really develop a cool character. So he gets me involved and I thought that I had made friends with a really cool group of people.
First session happens and I come up with a slick talking face for the group who focused on being a getaway driver. Unfortunately some bad decisions and rolls later and he ends up getting gunned down trying to protect the group during our first run. Honestly it was a bit disheartening but then understood this was part of the game and just shook it off because everyone told me “that’s just part of the game.” I still had a really good time.
I really wished I knew what was coming.
Fast forward a bit and I got to play a new character but our GM wanted to try a new game and enter Scions.
For those of you not familiar, it’s a really fun game where all the PC’s play children of Gods from a bunch of different pantheons. You can also make your own birthrights to make magical items and such to give your characters a bonus.
My first one was a street tough who was a follower of Baron Samedi. A dude who was all about causing havoc and having fun. No one really involved him or liked him so I just took it up as me being new and trying too hard. So when the time came I made another character.
This one was a doctor who really wanted to help every single person who he could regardless of income and became a child of Athena and my plan was play him as a more passive character. So a point came up where a bunch of skeletons where stuck in the river stix which was transferred in this sewers. Nothing was working so I tried to “heal” the river. Bad idea but what else could we do? It ended up with my character’s arms being turned into bone. Another character down and the laughter ensues. Okay, yeah not the best idea but I tried.
That was when it all started. Everyone thought it was hilarious when I died and then made it a point to kill me whenever they could. A tank character? Oh here’s a magical being that kills you with one blow and vaporized you. A fighter? Oh he got past your armor and cuts you in two.
It got so bad that during Christmas another player made a bag for me that said “Make a New Character” with a reticle on a person’s head as if they were being targeted. Everyone laughed and so did I to not make a scene but I kept asking what was wrong with me or my characters.
I carried that with me for years that I was bad at games until I realized it was just a bad group. They bullied me constantly with so many work arounds and rules breaking to make a joke at my expense.
These days I tend to be the forever GM and always and I always remember those moments and try my best to be fair when it comes to my player’s characters because I still remember how much that hurt

So there’s this guy I have been friends with for about a year now (not his real name but we’ll call him Jim lol) and our friendship has been growing stronger every day. Last year (freshman year for me, junior year for him) I had a big crush on his best friend and never really talked to Jim. But my crush on his friend died at the end of the school year and that summer when Barbie and Oppenheimer came out I posted on my instagram story about seeing Oppenheimer and he replied to it. So on Insta dms we talked for a few weeks and then things sorta died down. During those weeks I did kinda have a crush on Jim but that crush went away too after we stopped talking for a bit. Then in like late September I got snapchat and we added each other and immediately started talking. It’s been on and off talking and on and off crushes (on my end at least) since then up until about February? I’m gonna just list everything that’s happened since then as bullet points in a sorta chronological order.
-I complained on my story about buying a dress that ended up being mad ugly and he replied to it asking to see it and then said i look good
-whenever he sees me in the hallway at school he always yells my name no matter how far away he is from me and says hi to me
-he saves a lot of my snaps on snapchat. Some are pretty and some are me look stupid lol
-when i broke my hip in December-march (from a track injury) he’d get like mad at me when i tried to run before it was fully healed
-he’s a gymbro and offered to take me to the gym wirh him when i started to get down on myself for not being able to gain muscle
-he’s 18 now and i’m 16 and one day he kinda randomly messaged me on snap saying “when i’m 19 you’ll be 17” and i thoguht to myself that it was really random lol. But hes said a lot of things that are just kinda him fixating on my age and im wondering if hes scared to ask me out or something because of the fact that im two years younger
-i posted a kinda slutty but also really cute goth/grunge outfit on my snap story saying that i need it and he was like “that would be so sick” ..is bro into goth girls or nah i cant tell
-he asked for my number and then we played this game together and stayed up for like an hour on facetime together while we played the game and he helped give me tips and walk me through the game since i fricking suxked at it (this happened like two days ago and it was our first time facetiming and at the very end he blew me a kiss, threw me a peace sign, and then said “bye love you” and hung up before i could evn say anything back)
-if you know those flirty whisper things all over pinterest i posted teo of those that said “first date idea: we sleep for 12 hours” and “can i come over and you talk about your day” on my story and he rpelied “perhaps”
-he added me to this group chat with 4 of his other friends (all guys). I cant tel if this is peak friendzoing or not
-constant gamepigeon games during school
-we’re calling again tonight
Side note, i know for a fact he is straight hahah. I just cannot tell if he likes me or if he is friendzoning me

In hindsight, I should have known something was wrong with The Caeles Academy of Acting.
Maybe the fact that it doesn't exist to the outside world.
This place prided itself on famous alumni it didn't actually name, and a once in a lifetime opportunity to work with the best in the business.
It's what I wanted.
More than anything.
After enduring four years of high school with barely a semblance of a drama club (we met every month, and our teacher was an alcoholic), and countless failed auditions, I was ready to take my acting career seriously. I had one year.
According to my parents, I had one year to make a living from my passion.
If it didn't work out, I would be on the first plane back to Connecticut.
It's not like they didn't trust me. I think they were just scared I wouldn't be able to financially support myself. So, I got a job right out of high school and slipped a year. Drama schools are expensive, and college’s are cut-throat on who they take on. I found Caeles Academy by accident–or, I guess it found me?
After researching cheap drama classes, auditions, academy’s, literally anything to progress my career, an ad popped up.
Not exactly flashy.
Just a date, a time, and a promise that they only take the best. I ignored it, but throughout the week, I started getting more ads. Just the words, “IMPRESS US - - JOIN CAELES ACADEMY NOW.”
Followed by, “BE WITH THE BEST, AND BE THE BEST. JOIN THE S CLASS NOW.”
When I googled the academy, nothing came up.
I gave up, clicking on the ad, which sent me straight to an application form.
I filled in my details as more of a joke. But I wasn't expecting to get an email back. Again, it was a time, a date, and that exact same tagline: “Impress us.”
However, Caeles Academy was different from what I imagined.
I was expecting a university building, or at least some modern structure.
Judging from their marketing and ads, I figured they could at least afford decent premises. Though I was mistaken. When I stepped out of the Uber, I found myself staring at what looked like an abandoned office tower, a red-brick monolith in the middle of nowhere.
Which was crazy, because I swore a girl wearing a bikini had strode through the doors, with nothing but her phone, and a coffee tucked under her elbow.
According to the text sent from the academy, the auditioning rooms were on the third floor.
Tipping my head back, the checkerboard of broken windows didn't exactly instil confidence.
Neither did the clunky set of automatic doors that took a while to open.
It was a summer's day, and the heat was already baking through my dress, sweat sticky on the back of my neck.
I wanted to make a good impression, but the heels were a little over the top.
Though I had also seen a girl casually walk in wearing a two piece bikini.
“Well?”
Freddie’s voice made me jump. I forgot I was on the phone to him. I was excited the whole car-ride, already high on five coffees, and now I was silent.
If I perceived the ‘academy’ from an objective standpoint, it definitely looked like the perfect place to be brutally murdered. But my own personal opinion was it was.. okay.
“What's it like?”
I pretended not to see a rat scuttling under an old candy wrapper.
“It's… fine.”
“Just fine?”
I could hear the smirk in my friend’s tone. He couldn't wait to tell me it was a scam, and had been reminding me all week I was essentially willingly selling myself to the black market. I was stubborn, so, fine sounded better than my initial first impression.
Which was to turn around, walk away, and completely block the place from my memory.
Unfortunately, at that moment, I valued my pride over my awareness.
“It's… okay.” I said, trying to find positives. I was staring at a looming grey building with shattered windows and a resident rat living near the door. I had a hard time figuring out how the girl from earlier had just casually strode inside, barefoot too. I glanced down at the ground, immediately regretting it.
Like there weren't bits of chewing gum and grime stuck to the concrete.
“Huh.” Freddie said, his tone creeping into teasing territory. “You're really selling it.”
“It just looks like a building,” I muttered, my gaze glued to the rat, who looked a little too comfortable.
Maybe it was a pet.
I was getting progressively more infuriated the more I stared down this place. Judging from the decades old writing ingrained into the door, it used to be a dentist surgery. “What do you want me to say?” I wasn't even trying to hide the scorn from my voice. “It's a building that looks like an academy.”
“Can you send a picture?” Freddie asked, “Ooh, wait, I'll face-time you.”
“That's, uh, that’s not really necessary–”
I was cut off, suddenly, when a guy threw himself through the automatic doors, palms first. He took two stumbled steps forwards, one back, and lifted his head, half lidded eyes finding the sky, before dropping to his knees and heaving up pinkish liquid.
I could see him trying to hold it in, slamming his hands over his mouth, only for it to splurge through his fingers, showering the ground in greyish pink froth.
Like he'd downed a bottle of Pepto Bismol.
Inching towards him, I realized it was Pepto Bismol.
The stink made my own stomach churn.
“Missy?”
I found my voice. “Uh, can I call you back later?”
Before my friend could answer, I ended the call, slipping my phone in my pocket.
The guy was still heaving, coughing up globules of pink.
“Are you okay?”
The sound of my heels click-clacking on concrete made me cringe. The guy noticed, flinching away. Closer, and I could see his scraggly blonde hair.
He was handsome.
Without the bile spewing down his chin.
Early twenties, wearing a fitted white shirt now covered in streaks of bright pink. Part of me wanted to make a half-hearted joke, but getting even closer, so close I could smell his pepto-breath, I noticed he was trembling, his hands clenched into fists.
When I attempted to awkwardly pat him on the shoulder, he twisted around, so fast my morning coffee slithered its way back up my throat.
His eyes were wide, almost feral, studying me like a wild animal.
I noticed the whites of his pupils were red, like he'd burst a blood vessel.
Theatre kids were intense, though I had never met THIS kind of intense.
“Are you… going in there?” The guy’s voice was a child-like whimper I wasn't expecting.
It looked like he was slowly regaining clarity, staring down at his filthy shirt, his hands stained bright pink.
I nodded, uncertainly, offering him my water. “Yeah. Did you audition?”
He shoved it away, slapping himself in the face. “I… I don't know.”
“You… don’t know?”
Suddenly, it was like something had contorted in his expression, a switch being pulled. I wasn't expecting him to twist around so fast. The guy slowly cocked his head, his lips breaking into a grin. His eyes, however, stayed the same.
“Of course I've auditioned.” He said, with a laugh.
“It was the best experience of my life!" His mouth formed an almost mocking frown.
“Unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. Which is a real shame. I'm sure Caeles would have benefited from my talents.”
What was weird, is that his mouth was moving, but he wasn't even looking at me, frenzied eyes caught in an oblivion I couldn't see.
When he did look at me, his expression crumpled all over again.
Pepto jumped to his feet, brushing himself down.
I couldn't take his over the top smile seriously, when his eyes were screaming, hollowed out caverns silently begging me to listen.
This guy was fucking crazy.
“Wait.” Pepto whispered, when I turned to walk away.
He pulled out his phone, tapping the screen before shoving it in my face.
I HAD SO MUCH FUN AT THE CAELES ACADEMY AUDITIONS :)
When I could only stare at him in confusion, Pepto’s gaze flicked to his phone, swiping bile from his lips.
His eyes went cartoon wide, like he couldn't believe what he himself was typing.
“That… that's not what I was trying to say!” He tried retyping it, but the guy was just writing strings of emoji hearts.
I didn't know what to say. I had dealt with rejection before, but I had never gone this far. Pepto was having a full on mental breakdown, his body shuddering, teeth chattering, blinking eyes and lips parting as if to speak, but choking on his words. When he started clawing out his hair, I took the opportunity to make a quick getaway.
Before I could make it to the doors, though, Pepto jumped in front of me, waving his phone directly in my face.
“Just…” he pointed at the screen. “It won't let me…” Growing frustrated with himself, he let out a wet sounding sob, clawing his fingers through his hair.
“Fuck, it won't let me…it won't let me type! It's not letting me type!”
By now, he had tufts of hair stuck between his fingernails. I don't know why his first reaction was to immediately try ripping his hair out.
A quick glance at my own phone reminded me of my own audition that was in five minutes.
Meanwhile, I was dealing with what I was pretty sure was delusion, denial, or a mixture of both.
I was considering pushing past him, when Pepto’s phone screen hit me in the face. Again.
This time, though, there was coherent writing.
“FIND LUKE.”
“Luke?” I said. “Who's that?”
“Luke!” The guy was bouncing on the heels of his feet. “He's my…” Pepto drifted off, his eyes going vacant, as if I could physically see his brain being plucked from his skull. Pepto dropped his phone, and I grabbed it before it could hit the ground. His hands went to his curls, clawing, scratching, until he was drawing blood across his forehead.
“I… I don't know! I can't… I can't remember. Luke. He was my… he was my… I don't know, I can't… I can't–”
I stumbled back when he let out a shriek, scratching at his face.
“Fuck!” He whimpered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Pepto grabbed my shoulders, shaking me, his fingers digging into my skin.
“I don't know who he is.” He gritted out, pink froth pooling from his lips.
Pepto broke out into a sob. “I don't… I don't know who he is, but you can find him, right? You can… you can find…”
Again, he trailed off mid sentence, his hands going limp around my shoulders.
I managed to side step him, swallowing a cry.
“Yeah, I'll, um, I'll find him for you.”
Pepto backed away, suddenly, stumbling over himself.
His gaze found mine, vacant, like a baby deer.
“Find who?”
I didn't wait around to answer him, pushing through the doors and stepping inside.
The interior was unsurprisingly even worse than the exterior.
The elevator was broken, so I had to run up three flights of stairs.
I expected at least an attempt at an academy, even in the dregs of an old dentist surgery.
What I got, though, was a never ending staircase, obnoxious photos of teeth greeting me on every level.
The third floor was… less clinical.
I strode directly into a waiting room filled with college aged students, either sitting on plastic chairs, or standing around, rehearsing.
The room itself was cosy enough, a navy carpet and a TV playing a random Twitch stream.
Situated in the middle was a desk with a bored looking woman behind it.
Her smile was fake. I could understand her pain. She was stuck in a room with theatre kids all day.
“Sign here.” She prodded a sheet of paper.
I was convinced her voice was AI.
While I was scribbling my details, I took a moment to notice the stark difference from the kids entering the room, to the ones leaving. The kids entering wore wide, confident smiles and were social butterflies, chatting amongst themselves.
The kids leaving reminded me of pod people.
They left the room silent, in an orderly line with dazed smiles on their faces, like they weren't sure where they were.
I watched one guy walk directly into the wall instead of taking a left toward the exit, and a girl straight up just toppled down the stairs.
The kids waiting with me named them rejects.
I wasn't convinced until I glimpsed an empty bottle of Pepto Bismol sitting on the floor by the window.
Thinking back to Pepto, that made a lot of sense.
I was still dazedly staring at the bottle, when my name was called.
Jumping to my feet, I did my best to calm myself down, straightening my ponytail. Pepto had really screwed with my head. I could barely even remember the lines I had been rehearsing for a week straight.
I was muttering my lines to myself, when I stepped through the door.
The door that apparently turned you into a pod-person on the way out.
For a moment, I thought I was blinded by stage lights.
It was so bright.
The glow bathing me was clinical, stabbing into my eyes.
When I blinked, I found myself standing in front of three shadows sitting in front of me.
Their chairs were made of leather, far different from the plastic ones in the waiting room.
So, they did have filthy cash.
I was looking at one man, and two women.
They were… average?
I expected them to be more glitzier, but they were just regular people.
The man was in his late twenties, maybe early thirties, a stiff looking brunette wearing a suit and tie, one leg crossed over the other. His eyes were narrowed slightly, lips curved into the start of a smile. Like I amused him.
The women were polar opposites.
One of them was my Mom’s age, grey hair and floral clothing. She took a sip of water, her gaze burning into me.
Google told me not to be intimidated by their stares, but it was impossible.
These people were carving holes into my skull.
Sitting next to her, a younger girl who seemed to own the color red.
Her hair simmered, blood red, while she herself was sculpted in a dress, perfect cherry lips spread in a wide smile.
With a little too many teeth.
They studied my face like I was already theirs, drinking in every inch of me.
Freddie said I had to find a weakness in their expression and use it to my advantage.
If I could find the prick of a genuine smile, I could become their favorite.
“Hi!” I said. My caffeine intake was starting to take effect.
I didn't realize I was bouncing up and down until I caught myself.
Red’s smile stretched wider.
Maybe they liked my eagerness.
“My name is Misa.” I introduced myself, staying casual, keeping my arms by my sides. “I'm twenty one years old–”
I choked on my next words when Red spoke up. “Impress us, Misa,” Her voice was a smooth, almost seductive rasp, and I felt myself fall into it, enveloped in sugar that was too sweet, and yet I couldn't stop myself. She folded her arms across her chest, her gaze challenging me to do something different. To make her want me.
“Show us something we have never seen before.” She stood up, cat-like eyes narrowing, “Show us how desperate you are to join this prestigious class.”
I nodded, and began.
I had planned a whole monologue, practised it over and over again, forcing Freddie to judge me with a none biassed opinion.
I was three lines in, when Red started laughing.
“Stop.”
I did, my cheeks heating up, and she started clapping.
“Sweetie, oh, stop, you're adorable!” She said, her lips curving into a cruel smirk.
She leaned forward, like I was something that entertained her, jostling her heeled foot. “We don't take amateurs. I think you need to go back to school.”
This woman was definitely a psychopath.
Empty eyes sparkling with a gleam that definitely enjoyed humiliating candidates, and a twisted smile that was a little too wide. Red made me want to crawl into the ground.
She made me want to turn around, leave the room, and quit my dream. I was aware of my own fury, my embarrassment turning my cheeks crimson. I matched her.
Maybe that's what she wanted all along. To wear the color of her victims.
Taking a shaky step back, I started to nod, started to agree, my mouth choking with the words, “You're right. I'm sorry for wasting your time."
I had never received proper constructive criticism from a professional standpoint.
Which meant I really did suck.
But I didn't move. I didn't want to move, and Red continued laughing, her companions sitting in silence.
The man rolled his eyes with a loud, exaggerated sigh.
Like I was boring.
The older woman pulled out her phone.
“Misa, you are…cute.” Red said. “But you're not quite what we are looking for.”
I wasn't sure I could admit it right there, but she made me feel things.
Like I was ignited.
Like I was going to prove this crazy bitch wrong.
I found my voice, strong and confident, despite my hammering heart.
“Give me another chance.”
Red’s lips curled. “So cute, Misa. Oh, sugar bear, It would be better if you left the room. Unless you want to embarrass yourself further! In that case, be my guest!”
She turned her attention to her nails, nudging the guy.
“Dinner?” She hummed. “I'm thinking of Italian. You are quite the wine connoisseur, Nicholas. Why don't you introduce me to your favorite?”
“Hey.” I blurted.
They ignored me, getting a little too close.
I don't know why I continued, reading my lines, screaming them, so I would be heard. I read them perfectly, and tweaking the genre from drama to romance, and then to horror. I became three different characters, a high school girl struggling with cancer, a final girl, and a woman going through a divorce.
I was fucking perfect.
But they weren't listening to me, caught up in their own conversation.
I tried again.
And again.
And again.
By now, I was on my knees, my fingers ripping into my hair. I was seeing red.
“We want originality, Misa,” Red said, sucking her teeth.
Her voice crawling into my skull was enough.
She still wanted me.
The thought polluted the back of my mind, taking a strangling hold. She still wanted me. When I lifted my head, Red wasn't looking at me, her gaze on the table grains. “Show us something new.”
I got to my feet, panting, my breath in my throat.
I became a screaming, strangled mess, a woman who lost her baby.
Red’s interest was piqued. Only slightly. Through my fraying vision, she slowly turned in her chair. “Again.” She clapped her hands, “Come on, Misa! We want new! We want never been fucking done before! Are you deaf?”
I couldn't stop the sobs escaping my mouth.
They lost interest again, right in the middle of my reading.
“Why can't you look at me?” I found myself spluttering.
When the man pulled out a bottle of water, I pulled off my heel and lobbed it at his face.
“Look at me!”
He did. Slowly. His gaze found me, for perhaps the first time.
Not as an amateur, but as a potential candidate.
Around the twentieth attempt, I started to laugh. Never been done before? I could feel my fingernails already in my scalp, clawing chunks of my hair out.
Reality contorted, and I felt myself drop to my knees. I was still laughing, spluttering, sobbing. I could still hear her in my head. Never Been Done Before. I started slowly, dragging my fingernails down my face until I felt the harsh sting.
“Again.” Red said, and her voice led me to stare down at my hands, at pinkish flesh glued to my bones, fleshy mounds.
So easy to tear. I didn't even feel it.
Only the sudden, unbridled euphoria of biting into my own skin, locking in my jaw, and ripping into myself.
When I tore it from the bone, warmth filled my mouth, and I was choking, guzzling down my own flesh, mulling it in my mouth and swallowing.
I can't remember how I got so deep, and why I didn't stop.
Why I didn't fucking scream.
But it didn't matter.
Red was standing up. She was clapping, her lips spread into a grin.
Her applause filled me with stars.
So, I ripped my hair from my scalp, a hysterical giggle escaping my lips.
She loved me.
I could see her jumping up and down, clapping.
Louder, and louder.
Her applause controlled me, twisting and contorting me into hers.
I didn't even think. I wanted to impress her, and doing this was doing just that.
My fingers were delving into my right eye socket, clawing my eye out. It didn't even hurt. Not with her thundering applause that was deafening, beautiful, an orchestra in my ears.
When I was semi conscious, my eye was crushed in my hand, but my vision was still mine, almost too clear. I could see streaks of red blurred between my lashes. My hair was caught between my fingers. But I wanted to do more.
When I stumbled to my feet, Red’s smile was so beautiful.
The man, however, looked horrified.
“Someone bring in the one of the successes,” Red’s voice was a shrill giggle, “Bring him in!” she clapped her hands together, and I spat out a fleshy thing. “I want to see them together! I want to see the future in front of us!”
Footsteps coming towards me in slow, shuddery thumps. I looked up, and a shadow was dancing around me.
When I slowly rose to my feet, I half realized I’d bitten my toe off. The shadow had a face, a boy who was younger than me. I think he used to have hair, but half of it was gone, half of it was still stuck between his fists. When I found his eyes, I found twin caverns instead.
Eyes that were still physically there, and yet there was no life.
No spark.
I was staring at a dead body, a flesh puppet who had lost his strings.
When he grabbed my hands, pulling me into a waltz, I caught a smear of scarlet trickling down the back of his neck. When I followed it upwards, his head was covered, slick, dripping with red.
Like me, he matched her too.
And he was beautiful, she told me, her push, her thunderous applause, guiding me into a waltz.
His feet moved, perfecting every step, and my foggy mind couldn't understand why. He matched my every move, the two of us floating across the floor.
My feet knew the steps before my mind.
How could he dance? I thought, dizzily.
How could he dance, when smeared scarlet followed his twisting, and turning and pirouetting feet?
Because underneath that swimming clinical light, the back of the boy’s head had been carved away, a perfectly sculpted cavern where his brain should have been. I could see the severed stem, where it had cleanly plucked out.
His fingers cradled in mine were wet. Swimming in blood.
His own blood.
Spinning round and around, I imagined myself as a princess.
I saw an 18th century ballroom lit up around us. Glittering smiles and glasses of champagne, long, flowing ball gowns.
I blinked, and my head was tipped back, gliding in blood once again.
When he pulled me to his chest, I stumbled, and a name came to light.
Luke.
I had found him.
Our finishing spin left me hard to breathe.
My body was broken, ripped into, and yet somehow not.
By the time we were finished, the two of us bowing, my mind was full of fog.
Cotton candy.
“Congratulations!” Red’s smile was inhuman, stretching right off of her face.
“You're in the S class!”
I was led through a door that wasn't the one I entered from. Inside the room were a dozen or so students, kneeling on the floor. They were missing parts of themselves, like unfinished puzzle pieces.
I dropped onto my knees next to a girl without a head. I could only see her torso, but I knew she was smiling.
Looming over us, was the goddess Athena drenched in blood that was still wet.
Dripping, pooling from every crevice of her dress.
Looking closer, this statue was moving.
Something sickly crept into my mouth.
Her right eye was human, a twitching eyeball sandwiched inside the stone.
It didn't match her. It was wrong, horrifying, like a painting, a real human eye struggling to focus on us.
And then, my own gaze found the statues head, where a real human brain had been forced inside perfect white, pink, greyish mush dripping down the sculpted, slender neck.
I could see where it had been pushed, pulverised through the stone.
The statue’s singular eye found me.
Its dancing pupil jumped up and down.
Before it blinked.
Next to me, Luke was on his knees, as if in prayer.
I can't remember leaving the room.
I just remember running.
Back down the stairs, stumbling, staggering over myself.
I was screaming by the time I reached the doors.
They opened, as usual.
But I couldn't get through. I tried, but I was slamming into something I couldn't see.
Pepto was still waiting outside. The sky was dark.
When he saw me, he stumbled over, slamming his hands into the glass.
I couldn't even understand myself. I was just fucking screaming.
Pepto held up his phone.
“DID YOU FIND HIM?”
I shook my head.
“No.” I lied.
I can't tell him the truth. I don't even know what it is.
“I can't get out!”
Pepto nodded slowly, typing something and showing me his phone.
I'm getting you both out of there. I think I know how I can get inside.
It's been 3 days, and Pepto is yet to return.
I’ve tried multiple times to cry out for the H word. But it won't let me type it.
Please H me. I need to get out of this place.
Fuck. Get me OUT OF HERE.
Classes start tomorrow.

I am a double bassist in my freshman year, I am currently thinking about doing a music major on string bass but I want to learn a secondary instrument in high school to have fun and get a feel for what would be practically the opposite of what I usually play, I am debating choosing between a couple band instruments and I want to know, Why did you play oboe in high school and how do you feel about your experience?