Gay boys gayligh

Am I crazy? I'm writing this drunk and high. At 12:34 on a Saturday night. Probably because I wouldn't write it at any other time. I think I'm forever single. I've been in a relationship before. One. It started when I was 17 and ended when I was 19. I'm not sure if it was love or puppy love. I almost entered a relationship a few months after that with this gorgeous guy, but I wanted to be single and wasn't interested in being smothered anymore. Flashforward to 2024, a week after my 25th birthday, I haven't been in a relationship since. Hell, I haven't even been close to being in a relationship since. I haven't spoken to a boy/guy/man for more than 12 hours since. (I say 'boy/guy/man' because I feel like at my age, that's what you've gone through. When you're a teen, you date boys. In college, guys. When you've been contributing to a 403b for almost 4 years? Men? Right?? Men. I do looooove men. Anyway...) I am/I've been on the apps. I've had hot Grindr hookups. I've had horrible, terrible Grindr hookups. I go to gay bars in NYC, Fire Island, Florida, Vegas, PTown. No one seems to be interested in me. I dont have abs. My weight flucuates often. I suffer from anxiety and I love smoking weed. I've been really focused on work and starting my career. But, surely, many gay men who would say all of the above are in happy, committed relationships. But I'm not even sure that's what I want. A (straight) couple that I haven't seen in months caught up with me tonight and, of course, one of the first questions they asked was my relationship status. "Oh dont worry, I didn't find him until I was 38!," the woman exclaimed. When speaking to an acquaintance tonight, she brought up a guy that we both mutually know. "He's 30 and has never seriously dated anyone or brought anyone around," she remarked. As a put-down. As evidence to prove how immature this guy is.
Huh.
Does this mean I'm immature? Is this what people say about me? It's not that I dont want a relationship. It'd be cool, I guess. I'm not asexual. In fact, I'm like the horniest person I know. Except after college, I've barely had sex with anyone. Being in a relationship that guarantees regular sex would be awesome. Maybe it's a confidence issue? When my weight flucuates, I get really self-concious. When I'm anorexic and draw attention to myself, I grow confident. I guess I dont outwardly seek relationships, like a lot of the people around me. I'm cool with staying home. I'm not necessarily a relationship person, like a lot of the people around me, either. I work hard and enjoy being self-depedent. I like smoking and watching a movie by myself. I'm cool eating alone at a restaurant. I love treating myself to a Broadway show. I guess, after writing this all out, I'm wondering if anyone can relate? Is this normal? Is a relationship the end goal? Is that what I should strive for? I'm so young, I know, but I feel like an old fucking maid. I'm not sure what I want. But I've seen some single, lonely old men that are just so sad. And I think to myself, "Is that what I want to be?" I'd like to say that, 'I'm just meant to live the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle!' But Carrie dated and actually slept with people (sometimes regularly too)! Then, she ended up with the guy. I guess I'm just looking for clarity and thoughts. Thanks guys ❤️

so! i was originally posting this for my husband on a Christian subreddit, but he and a few friends wanted me to put it here just to see what happened
the gist of it:
My in-laws, we recently found out, have been pretending to like me and lying about their approval of our relationship. We have been together for four years and married for two. We have a child on the way. This just now came out.
His father is a crippling alcoholic. He would regularly beat his mother when my husband was a child and has, to this day, chosen to spend money on alcohol instead of food to feed his family or pets. They regularly came to us asking for either dog food or dinner because they literally had nothing. They owe over 3k to his grandfather from how often they borrow money. His mother would verbally abuse him and his brother, and neglect them because she refused to go to doctors for chronic pain and hormonal issues, and would blow up instead. To the point he once walked around on a broken ankle for months because she thought he was being overdramatic. He was ten when that happened. The only reason it was treated is because his grandfather saw how swollen it was and took him to the ER.
This came to a head when we decided we didn’t want our child to be exposed to that. We tried talking, and somehow it all exploded from there. I will admit I said things that were not appropriate, and my husband did too. If I have a chance to apologize for how I handled it I want too, but I was also threatened and know if I try to contact on social media I will be written very nastily to. But we found out a LOT they have been lying about.
1) they think I was being overdramatic about a miscarriage, and had actually just started my period. I was told this while simultaneously being cussed out. I had a miscarriage!! This is where I started shouting if I’m honest. Should I have, absolutely not, and I regret it now because it only escalated things.
2) I have somehow destroyed this family and my husband didn’t have a problem with anything until he met me. This is literally, factually incorrect. They have several times driven him to attempt to take his life before he had ever met me. His father would regularly mock him for attending therapy as an adult too. He would also insult and mock any interests he had, ANYTHING.
3) Neither of us are allowed to dictate who our child is around, because we aren’t “in charge” of the family and my husband is, according to his father, “a hypocrite who is too soft and isn’t acting like a man.” for trying to talk about how his childhood impacted him. He was then told all of his childhood was in his head and that he needed to figure it out himself. Because my FIL didn’t throw him into walls and beat him.
4) Neither of them have ever liked me, and accused me of using my husband for money and manipulating him into being a liberal. I am not a liberal. I have never been a liberal. Literally don’t even know where they got that from. The only idea I have is that they think me not wanting them to insult all of my husband’s hobbies is somehow making him too soft and therefore a liberal? Or that I don’t like when they randomly start talking about how much they hate gay people and think they’re child molestors?? I feel that’s a normal response from ANYONE. I’ve literally never discussed politics with them if you don’t count me not wanting to listen to that political?
5) We were then essentially kicked out from a family home that was near theres. I was told that only my husband would be allowed back, and that I would never be allowed near them again. They do not know I am pregnant, at this point I’m 5 weeks 6 day, and sincerely worried about how the stress might have impacted my baby. We found out his brother has never liked me either, but refuses to say why. Please note he is a huge mama’s boy, so I’m honestly suspicious that she’s been talking about me for a lot longer than we think.
So! I will be honest, if they hold that view of me I have no qualms not speaking to them. I will add that they both claim to be Christian, but are alcoholics, pop pills, cuss regularly, and have never discussed God, church, or even attended church in over 15 years. The few times I’ve heard them talk about God have been to try and get their own way, or to discuss the end times. They are essentially Christian by word and not action.
My husband hasn’t spoken to his mother at all, and when he tried to talk to his father again was essentially guilt tripped and lied to again. My FIL told him he was contemplating suicide since he was gone, and when my husband told him he was happier on our own, was then told his father was doing better without him too and to never expect any contact from him again. Anything my MIL has texted has boiled down to insulting me and telling him he’ll come crawling back eventually, so he obviously hasn’t responded.

Okay so i assume everyone in the JJK fandom is like "IT'S NOT GOJOVER !!!!" after the chapter 260 and we see Sukuna being locked in by his boy Gojo. Cause he is back.
But what if... Yes and no ? What if Gege made Gojo "come back" but not in the way that we think. What if he is going to give us the biggest BitterSweet moment of the manga :
Yuji unlocking his "Domain Expansion" and it's about others, not himself.
Read me : so if i'm being correct : Yuji never got his own CT but he got the "body" that acquire the technique of other peoples if they got his souls in him (swap, eating CR, etc)
So Yuji got techniques, but not really is "own born with CT" if i'm correct.
And Yuji was always a "Selfish Selfless" that care so much about others, and not himself, he is that selfish. In opposition to his Gay Uncle, Sukuna, who is "Selfish Selfish", he only care about himself and his immediate pleasure.
But "Domain Expansion" is all about "Forcing" your Innate Domain on the world and your own CT, so how come Yujo get a Domain if he is to selfless for others and doesn't have is own CT.
Unless... That's the thing ; Yuji main core nature is that he is so much selfless for others, he is selfish enought for a Domain Expansion.
Remember, Yuji's wish is about dying surrended by others and giving a meaningful death to others. It's about himself but always about others. That's is "Selfishness" nature that give the illusion of "Boring Selfless" that annoy is opponents (Mahihoe and SukuGyat)
So here my theory : Yuji's Domain Expansion is all about him, giving the Domain Expansion 's boost to others people/allies in his domain. Perhaps even bringing back his fallen allies who recently died, so they can get their revenge and finally rest/get a meaningful death/stay with Yuji until the end)
So Gojo might be indeed "back" but either he is alive and in bad shape (Brain surgery/Binding wow theories) or dead as a real "Revenge Ghose/Curse" but in all case, half the shadow of his prime, but Yuji's Domain Expansion will help him get his finishing boost for Sukuna and finally "Nah I'd win"
Also Gojo's dream was to help his students grows so they would surpass him. And right now, his students are doing it.
And Yuji is Black Flashing so MUCH he might be able to equal Gojo and do a Domain Expansion with ONE hand ; remember one of his hand is in Sukuna's body and the other is out. Perhaps he was planning this to reach Megumi's soul with his domain.
He always meant to do his gamble and use his domain, but Gojo happens to be here, somehow.
And remember you need to touch Gojo to not get hit with "Infinity" And i don't think he wanna lobotomize another student.
So yeah, he Gojo is back, but not in the way you think ;
He come back and kill Sukuna, he win.
He come back as a ghost or binding wow, and kill Sukuna, he win.
He come back and witness his students, surpassing him and other stuffs, he win.
He come back thanks to a Apex Domain Expansion from his student, surpassing him in every details, he win.
He doesn't matter who kill Sukuna in the end. As long Sukuna die, by Gojo or his allies.
"Nah, I'd win" was always true. Thanks to Yuji.
VOILA !!! I hope i wrote it well, even tho it's 6 AM in France. And i hope it's accurate enough.
Feel free to comments on it, just pls don't be too cursed or rude pls. Thank you :D

The Good: -Annabella was a really unique character and honestly drew so much emotion out of me that I was PISSED she killed herself, and not by my own hand. I was yelling at the TV "YOU COWARD". -Development of NPC's like Blackthorn, Charon, and Mid was top tier and to see Blackthorn go from super standoffish and distrusting to friendly and emotional in his own ways was really nice to see. I enjoyed those quest lines. -the world map was kind of cool. This diorama "miniatures" with moving water and dynamic lighting was pretty cool. -I enjoyed the fact that this game gave a fresh take on "summons" and didn't just have them pop out, but allowed Clive to use their abilities. -i greatly enjoyed the voice actors work and especially liked how every tiny npc had a voice and they would comment on things happening around them as the story progressed. -I felt the relationship between Dion and Terrance was tastefully done and didn't scream "look look we put gays in the game! See how pc we are!". It just felt normalized and honestly Dion dismissing Terrance from duty to go care for the little girl, and having it NOT end up with a passionate goodbye kiss was honestly a good move in my opinion and honestly made me tear up. Had they done that, I think it would've pushed the pc-ness too far. Dion had to summon his resolve and ensure his lovers and his rescuers safety, and sacrificed a relationship for the greater good.
The Bad: -lets face it, Jill takes more than a few pieces of inspiration from Tifa. She's that kind, soft spoken, almost-motherly figure with long hair tied off at the end. She's the protagonists best friend since childhood and ends up becoming his partner. I enjoyed her character a lot but wanted to see more of who she was. -it felt as though Cid died too early in relation to Clive's reaction to his death. It was akin to reality competition TV show contestants crying when someone gets eliminated. Like girl, you just met like a week ago, why are you screaming to the heavens with tears pouring down your face? This moment felt uncomfortable to me and had Clive not reacted so... dramatically, I'd have felt better about it. -the combat seems really clunky. In real-time action games, we expect animation frames to be able to be canceled out because those seconds count in battles. I spent a lot of time being like "FINISH THE MOVE" because im mashing a button but Clive is too busy flourishing his sword to listen. This also applied to the dash/warp. The frames to recover were. so. long. -though I understood why Clive was the only playable protagonist in light of his many many abilities, I'm growing tired of the ever-shrinking party size trend that SE is leaning towards. The past 2 games only had 1 controllable character (this doesn't count ff15's dlc or the unlockable ability to use the other 3 boys in battle because that takes a LOT of grinding to save up points for). We used to have party's of 4 or 5, and as the years go by those party's get smaller and smaller and now we only control one character. Bummer. Let me fight as Jill already.
The Ugly: I do not regret saying this in the slightest, but FF16 is a direct copy of FF12. FF12 is my favorite installment of all time for many reasons I won't mention here, but the way the story beats are nearly identical is wild to me. I understand all FF's have common themes, especially the ones surrounding Fabula Nova Crystallis, but this... this was eerie how easily I was able to guess what was going to happen so early on based on what was happening around me in-game. It's "copy my homework but change a couple things so it doesn't look like you copied it". The games are extremely similar and I was a bit disappointed by how much they were alike.
Rating: 4/10 I played it, overall I enjoyed it, but it felt like a lazy reiterating of a story we've heard many times within the franchise. I was frustrated with the combats pacing and lack of animation-cancelling. I'd have liked to see them make Ultima even more otherworldly and even more of an eerie presence. I was left craving a humans vs alien scenario which is essentially what it was, but I'd have loved it if they went all the way with it.
This is all just my opinion, as a super fan of the franchise I owed it to myself and the developers to play it beginning to end and was definitely left wanting more.
For the next entry in the mainline, I'd love to have new, fresher minds working on the story and settings alongside our regular faves, to give things a more vivid imagining of the themes we know they'll hit.

I’m a hispanic christian teen in a passionate christian household. Ever since I could remember, I have dealt with my sexuality, which is ironic since my mother is a bigot towards gay people. I am a somewhat feminine guy who only has girl friends and I am not what you would expect a normal teenage boy to be. I don’t care about sports, neither do I care about the whole “high testosterone masculine chest thumping” behavior that boys do to assert their dominance. My mother scolds me for my indifference constantly. She tells me the devil is trying to take over me and to change me for the worse. It’s funny how she doesn’t realize I’ve always been different from other guys. Lately, I’ve been extremely dealing with my identity and who it is I like. I find myself attracted to guys but I also find myself attracted to girls sometimes as well. I think I do know my sexuality, it’s just that all the years of being told that being gay is equivalent to murder and that you go to hell for even fantasizing over the same sex started piling on me and it makes me fear embracing myself. I also fear what my mom would do if she found out who I really was. I think I may like guys a lot more than I might like girls if I’m being honest. I seriously do sometimes have a crush on a girl, but it’s rare for me to have one. I’ve pictured myself being with a girl and I feel semi-uncomfortable about it. But when I think of my possible life with a guy, I feel happy and comfortable. Dealing with my sexuality has made me feel a bit lost in my faith and I feel out of place in christianity. I really want to hear other christians’ opinion on the matter.

MEGAN: There is no hope when Billie Elish is the voice of gen Z.
CHRIS: I like her songs. She is gifted.
MEGAN: Just Name three song that she has sung.
CHRIS: Bad guys, no times to die from James bond soundtrack, and there is this song that I watched on MTV her dancing with her girlfriends… it’s on the tip of my tongue I think it’s titled Happier than ever.
MEGAN: That’s a totally different song. The song that you are talking about is lost cause… from the album Happier than ever.
CHRIS: At least, I got the album right.
MEGAN: Okay. Give me the first two line of the lyrics from Bad guys or no times to die.
CHRIS: I am not good at lyrics. But she is talented. She has a soulful voice.
MEGAN: Her songs are depressing. I can’t listen to it while I am cooking or driving to work. I will shoot myself in the head. She is the most overrated singer in the history of music. You know, I want to play songs that make me want to sing along, dance and fall in love… not throw up. She is the voice of our generation. It tells you a lot about the direction we are going. Generation Z in America don’t know what the fuck is going on in this world. They complain too much. They are faking it like Billie Eilish.
CHRIS: I think they are lost. They just want a voice to express their pain, confusion, frustration, and sadness. That’s all.
MEGAN: I know that. But when you listen to music, you want to hear something that resonates with your soul and brings joy to your heart. For example, if you listen to Diana Rose and the Supremes’ Baby love, or come see about me and Where did our love go, you will realize that music is dead with Billie Elish whispering that she’s not happy and talking about how her boyfriend is a loser. You know, you wonder what’s happening to music nowadays. Why is so bad? Billie Eilish and Labrinth singing Never Felt So Alone. It’s a setback for Labrinth from Jealous to Never so Alone. He was our hope. We all counted on him to save music. But he has begun to whisper like Billie Eilish. Everybody is following her footstep. Music Critics are falsely saying that Billie Elish is a trailblazer. She is changing music single handedly. So far, she has received 7 Grammy awards. She is only 21. Diana Rose has never won a grammy in her life. There seems to be something fishy going on. You are not supposed to sing in your head. It’s not real music. It’s MTV. You know, they said that video killed a radio star. But video killed music all together. Thanks to MTV. We get asses, boobs, and whispers instead of real music.
CHRIS: I like MTV. I grew up watching it. It changed how we see music forever. You know, music is not music without a music video. Nobody is going to listen to it if you didn’t put out an amazing music video like Thriller by Michael Jackson. I can’t even imagine what Thriller would have sounded like on a radio. It’s the greatest music video ever made. Every time I watch it, it’s new to me.
MEGAN: I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Thriller deserve special praise. It’s one of its kind. However, music died after the introduction of MTV. At least, they don’t make it like how they used to make it in 60s’.
CHRIS: That’s the golden age of music. It can never be replicated again. But who knows? Billie Eilish might change it if she gets her act together.
MEGAN: I can listen to Vision of love, honey, and fantasy by Mariah Carey or I will always love you and I have nothing by Whitney Houston or Rolling in the deep by Adele a million times over and over. But I can’t listen to Happier than ever more than 1 time. Maybe Ocean eyes and When the party is over. They are okay. But the rest is garbage. She is nowhere near to legendry female singers like Aretha Franklin, Celine Dion, and Sinead O'Connor. You know, when you listen to Natural woman by Aretha Franklin or Celine Dion’s It's All Coming Back to Me Now or Because you loved me or nothing Compared to you by Sinead O'Connor, you get goosebumps. You are witnessing a soul exiting the human anatomy disguised in soundwave. It breezes through your skin, kiss your soul, and intertwine with your DNA before it rewrites the rhythm of your heart with a beautiful melody. You couldn’t help but cry, smile, sing, and fall in love with life whether it is wonderful or a bitch.
CHRIS: You have to give her credit the benefit of the doubt. At least, she writes her own lyrics. I mean, No disrespect to Diana Rose and Supremes, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Adele, Aretha Franklin, Celine Dion, and Sinead O'Connor. God bless her soul - Sinead O'Connor. She was an Angel disguised in fire. Her voice is from another world. When I listen to nothing compare to you, I get goosebumps, too. I have always been blown away by her voice. Don’t even get me started with Whitney Houston. She is an angel. When you listen to “I will always love you,” you know that God loves music more than he loves us. She was flawless. It should be illegal to sing like that. And Maria Carey will shatter the glass in your soul, cut your heart to millions of pieces, kiss it, and heals it without a scar. Your heart can’t help but grow wings, burst out of your chest and fly away. She is phenomenal. Celine Dian is in a different league, so was Aretha Franklin. Nobody can question their gifts. But Billie Eilish has brought hope to a lot of people
MEGAN: I feel like that you are playing the devil advocate for the sake of argument. What hope are you talking about? You haven’t even listened to a song that she sang. You watched her playing with her girlfriend in underwear. All of a sudden, you want to defend her. If you are going to defend her. Defend her from your heart. I know you can’t do it because you hate her songs, too.
CHRIS: That’s not it. Just give her a break. She has a beautiful voice. She just doesn’t want to disappoint her fans. Imagine if she sings I will always love you or vision of love. Her fans will accuse her of selling out.
MEGAN: Fuck her fans. They are fake anyway. They don’t know anything about music. She should not let them hold her back. They just want to see her wearing oversize baggies like a boy, who drops out of high school and who breaks his skating boards, and whisper like a wounded cat that got a fight with a Rottweiler and talk about fake pain, bad relationship, and girls standing up to abusive boyfriends. Even country music has more sense of humor than her.
CHRIS: I like country music.
MEGAN: Don’t get me started with country music. I don’t even know why it’s still alive. It should have died with Western movies long time ago. You know, I would rather listen to Disco and 90s’ electronic dance music than country music.
CHRIS: What’s wrong with 90s’ electronic dance music? DJs still play them at club.
MEGAN: That’s true. But you don’t want to get caught playing that shit in your car. People will look at you weird.
CHRIS: I still listen to What’s love by Hardaway and couldn’t help dancing.
MEGAN: I hear you. Life is not fair. You have songs that makes you want to dance. Before you know it, it goes out of fashion. You have country music talking about how hard they work and their wife living them for their brothers and how they just want to drink whiskey and forget about them.
CHRIS: Country music is not bad. They know how to tell stories. It’s definitely better than electronic dance music when it comes to lyrics.
MEGAN: Okay. name three countries songs and artists.
CHRIS: Dolly Parton.
MEGAN: Dolly Parton doesn’t count. She wrote I will always love you. You would not have known her if she had it written that.
CHRIS: Fair enough. I get the point. What about Garth Brooks?
MEGAN: Okay 1.
CHRIS: Carrie Underwood and Morgan Wallen.
MEGAN: Okay, name three songs.
CHRIS: Friends in low places, by Garth Brook. Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood. And Island in Stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.
MEGAN: That’s not bad. I didn’t know that you were a country music fan.
CHRIS: To be honest, I am not a fan of country music. I don’t listen to country. I only know very few songs here and there and Shania Twain. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not good just because it’s not your cup of tea. In fact, country music is becoming popular. They are bringing original materials.
MEGAN: How do you know that they are bringing original materials if you have never listened to country music.
CHRIS: I just assumed that they must have brought original materials. It’s because they are dominating the chart… like Morgan Wallen. His songs are no 1.
MEGAN: What song is that?
CHRIS: I don’t know. But most of his songs are in Billboard top 10. He is bigger than Justin Bieber.
MEGAN: I used to have crush on Justin Bieber. I still listen to his song… except Peaches. I don’t know what was he thinking when sings I get my weed from California. Who care if he got it from Jamaica? The lyrics is terrible. That’s why sometimes, I hate pop songs. They talk nonsense and get away with it.
CHRIS: What kind of music do you like?
MEGAN: I like all kinds of music… except country. Pop is on the top.
CHRIS: What about Billie Eilish? You don’t like her.
MEGAN: Sometimes, I like her. She does have a unique voice. Other times, I can’t stand her when she whispers and talk nonsense. She would have been an amazing jazz singer if she just opens her mouth and sings like a regular person.
CHRIS: You don’t want Billie Eilish to limit herself with only Jazz. Let her try everything: Pop, R&B, rock, blues, jazz, indie what have you. She has a hypnotic, alluring, and haunting voice and she knows how to control the tone of her voice. But if she must limit herself, she should choose classic rock. It soothes her like ice cream melting in her mouth.
MEGAN: What kind of music do you listen to?
CHRIS: I listen all kinds of music. You know, Sexual healing by Marvin Gaye, let’s get together by Al Green, against all the odds by Phil Collins, In your eyes by Peter Gabriel, Kiss from a rose by Seal, and Earn it by Weeknd to name a few.
MEGAN: You have a beautiful taste. Sensual, seductive and erotic and romantic. But what’s your favorite lines in music.
CHRIS: It’s either the way you look tonight by Frank Sinatra. Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love you
And the way you look tonight.
Or My girl by Temptations.
I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the trees
Well, I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way
My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl.

MEGAN: You are romantic.
CHRIS: What about you? What’s your favorite lines in music?
MEGAN: Halo by Beyonce.
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night.
You’re the only one that I want.
Think I’m addicted to your light.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I’m currently a closeted trans boy, but I do want to eventually transition and start testosterone when I graduate high school. I like all genders, however, I’m curious as to whether or not I’ll ever really stand a chance with guys. So, my question is: do gay men usually care if their partner is ftm? (I understand it’ll vary from person to person but I just want to know what the situation is typically.)

This is a follow up to this post https://www.reddit.com/GayBroTeens/comments/1akyx0l/came_out_to_my_school_in_a_muslim_country_today/
Turns out, my class ain't exactly as accepting as I thought they were. They're currently now avoiding me like the plague. I feel like people now only care about who I wanna fuck as though it's the only side of me that exist.
I'm happy that I can be out to someone but now i'm just a one dimensional gay guy who creeps around. I've tried to talk to people but they seem to think that just talking to me would get me interested in them. Any time I think some guy would actually be (at the very least) treating me nicely, it turns out they have some kind of weird innate distrust of anything I do. I could literally walk around a room and they will speculate on my next 'target' when I was just going to the toilet.
I was once a pretty shy kid, never talking if I didn't have to. I'm semi out of my shell rn but I still don't really know how to interact with people. Anytime I wanna talk to people, it just becomes awkward. I just really want a friend but people seems to think that I just want a "friend" with the word "boy" preceding it.
Even when I get to talk to girls, they'll think of me as their mandatory "gay best friend". I constantly hear other people talk shit about me as though i'm just an imaginary rainbow powered robot that walks and talks, not like an actual human being.
Perhaps I pretended to hit on someone because people thought it was funny. I just wanted people to be happy and laugh. I don't want them to be sad or bored but perhaps I misplayed a move. I'm sorry if I played too far into the stereotype of the heart shaped pupil gay guy. It's my fault for being too short-sighted to see what kind of trouble my actions would bring.
Is it bad that I regret my actions and want to change it? Is it too late now and I should bear any bad repercussions that comes my way? Is it bad I want to change course because i'm afraid of the consequences?

Se eu não acho oportunidade perto daqui, apenas Vou explicando uma sincera situação:
O título já se pressupõe o que eu quero dizer..mas caraca mano, tô sentindo que por aqui todas as possibilidades que eu poderia ter de tentar um relacionamento já estão vagas. na minha escola não tem um ser humano interessante, os gays que tem lá (solteiros) são aqueles pick me boys super irritantes que se acham os FODAS da escola.
Eu jurava que o ensino médio seria uma oportunidade de ouro, mas eu tava claramente enganado Kkkkkkkkkk, eu não me acho feio, sou aquele famoso garoto quieto/sunshine da sala.
Talvez os meus gostos sejam específicos demais?
Eu sou a pessoa mais doce com todo mundo, amo jogos de enigmas, plataforma e escolhas
Jogos Favoritos são: Life is strange, Until Dawn, todos os jogos do Sonic, super Mario 64, todos os jogos do Kirby, skullgirls.
Produção textual e um grande forte meu Kkkkkkkkkk
Sou ótimo em inglês Não sou de exatas
Amo discutir teorias de qualquer coisa.
ADORO CANTAR E DANÇAR (amo as HEATHERS ❤️💚💛)
Meus desenhos favoritos são: Winx e MLP Kkkkkkkkkk (irônico mas eu amo esses)
Sou pardo do cabelo castanho escuro e olho meio puxado
ADORO RPG DE MESA E JOGOS DE TABULEIRO
E isso, se alguém quiser chegar em mim...chama no PV!

Hi Reddit, this is my first time posting on this site in years, for context on this story I am a 19-year-old girl residing in east London.
Two weeks ago, I was on a night out in my town, which I won't name, however, it is on the eastern outskirts of Greater London. It was a cold Friday night in early May when I began to walk home. By this time I was heavily drunk and had split off from my friends Sania and Marcus, who were also blackout drunk, they took the Elizabeth line to get home to their university digs in Harrow. So, I was left all by myself.
As I began to walk to the bus stop; which wasn't far from the club. I noticed a tall, skinny man with his head in his hands sitting on the red plastic bench at the stop. I couldn't see much of his face as it was obscured by his long, dark brown messy hair. I sat down on the bench, furthest away from him, because it was around 1 am, the area was deserted and honestly, this guy was giving me the creeps. He was wearing a dark brown leather bomber jacket, green cargos and a Mayhem band T-Shirt.
I sat, and waited for the bus, for around five minutes. Scrolling through TikTok. When suddenly, my focus was interrupted by the sound of sobbing coming from my left, I turned to see the man, head still in his hands sobbing uncontrollably. I glanced at the man several times before making my decision. I scooted over to him, put my hand on his shoulder (keep in mind I was still in my drink-induced, confident, sociable state). He looked up at me, admittedly I thought he was quite handsome, that was until I was hit by his breath, which was a fowl stench, a mixture of cigarettes, vomit and tooth decay.
He had thick, furrowed dark eyebrows, short yet unkempt stubble, tears rolling down his face. I asked him "Hey, are you alright?". At this point, his facial expression changed, he let out a loud smoker's cough, covering his mouth with his elbow. Wiping his tears away with the same elbow he looked me in the eyes and simply said: "I've hurt a lot of people". At this point, starting to sense the vibe was off, I asked "What do you mean?". I felt the alcohol starting to lose it's effects on me, I regretted interacting with this man at all.
He told me plainly, "I've killed someone." At this moment, my heart sunk to the bottom of my chest, I thought he must be joking, or lying. I timidly said, "Wait, what?" I was choking on my words. He went on to confess to me that he had killed a 17 year old boy after arranging a gay encounter with him over Grindr. He told me that he stabbed the boy in the neck with a screwdriver before burning his body in the woods with lighter fluid. I stood there aghast at this sudden confession, when I saw the headlights of the night bus approaching in the distance, without hesitating I boarded, tapped my oyster and looked back, he did not follow me on. The bus doors slam shut, I ride the bus, only for around four stops before reaching my house, as I step out from the bus, I look to my left only to see a dark figure with long dark hair running towards me down the street, I book it towards my house, shove the key into the lock before slamming the door shut and screaming for my mum.
That night I dreamt of the encounter in vivid detail, and the following night, and the night after. However, as the nights went on, I would see the act of murder in his eyes, as if it was a projection, the dream would pause as he looked up to me, and the pause would be longer each night, seeing more vivid details reflected from his dark green eyes. The dreams stopped around a week after the experience, but I was left deeply disturbed. What unsettled me the most was his voice, robotic and deep, sounding almost distorted as I dreamt of him more and more. My last dream was on the night of the 11th of May, a Saturday night. I was awoken to complete paralysis of my body, I heard as clear as day from across the room "There wasn't just one victim." Loudly in a female voice.
I made my official police report today (18/05/24), and was given a reference number, the police told me they would try to identify the man, as he was caught on CCTV walking past the club I was at several times that night (which ironically is opposite the police station).

So I, m 18, am autistic and into men, because of this I had a not so great childhood friendship wise, I never had friends growing up, mainly because I hadn’t learned how to mask yet and everyone thought I was weird, eventually when I finally reached secondary(high school?) I finally started making friends the first year, I had a best friend who I was really close with, but considering now I was probably too much for her given I was trying to live out my dreams of having a best friend through her, but her parents wanted her to move schools, and from then on I had a lot of trouble with finding my ppl and having close friends. As well as this I had came out just before secondary bc I had a very loving and accepting family, but I wasn’t accepted in school at all by the boys in my year, and it took about four years for me to finally make some male friends despite my sexuality, but I still had to tone down my sexuality and almost go back in the closet and act straight, I mean it was fine, they say something like “he’s the only gay guy were okay with” and “you’re barely gay” and shit like that but I always took that as my personality was so great they could ignore their prejudice. Anyways I got to a point of trying to “buy” friends, by always buying everyone’s lunches and food and snacks, I spent about €3k on the ppl in my year because I thought it was an easy way to start friendships but later on I found out ppl were talking shit about me saying “he’s buying his friends”. This year I made really good friends, made a best friend then we stopped being friends but that’s not the point, up to this point my only close friends were women and I’m trying to be friends with men more to “heal my inner child” and try live out my childhood dreams of “being normal” but I never hang out with them or anything and as summer is here I see them playing football every Saturday and all I want is to play with them, but I’m never invited. The thing is I feel like I can’t ask bc that would be way too sad but I want to so bad and I just don’t know what to because I just want to have friends and hang out with them and play football.

So I, m 18, am autistic and into men, because of this I had a not so great childhood friendship wise, I never had friends growing up, mainly because I hadn’t learned how to mask yet and everyone thought I was weird, eventually when I finally reached secondary(high school?) I finally started making friends the first year, I had a best friend who I was really close with, but considering now I was probably too much for her given I was trying to live out my dreams of having a best friend through her, but her parents wanted her to move schools, and from then on I had a lot of trouble with finding my ppl and having close friends. As well as this I had came out just before secondary bc I had a very loving and accepting family, but I wasn’t accepted in school at all by the boys in my year, and it took about four years for me to finally make some male friends despite my sexuality, but I still had to tone down my sexuality and almost go back in the closet and act straight, I mean it was fine, they say something like “he’s the only gay guy were okay with” and “you’re barely gay” and shit like that but I always took that as my personality was so great they could ignore their prejudice. Anyways I got to a point of trying to “buy” friends, by always buying everyone’s lunches and food and snacks, I spent about €3k on the ppl in my year because I thought it was an easy way to start friendships but later on I found out ppl were talking shit about me saying “he’s buying his friends”. This year I made really good friends, made a best friend then we stopped being friends but that’s not the point, up to this point my only close friends were women and I’m trying to be friends with men more to “heal my inner child” and try live out my childhood dreams of “being normal” but I never hang out with them or anything and as summer is here I see them playing football every Saturday and all I want is to play with them, but I’m never invited. The thing is I feel like I can’t ask bc that would be way too sad but I want to so bad and I just don’t know what to because I just want to have friends and hang out with them and play football.

So I, m 18, am autistic and into men, because of this I had a not so great childhood friendship wise, I never had friends growing up, mainly because I hadn’t learned how to mask yet and everyone thought I was weird, eventually when I finally reached secondary(high school?) I finally started making friends the first year, I had a best friend who I was really close with, but considering now I was probably too much for her given I was trying to live out my dreams of having a best friend through her, but her parents wanted her to move schools, and from then on I had a lot of trouble with finding my ppl and having close friends. As well as this I had came out just before secondary bc I had a very loving and accepting family, but I wasn’t accepted in school at all by the boys in my year, and it took about four years for me to finally make some male friends despite my sexuality, but I still had to tone down my sexuality and almost go back in the closet and act straight, I mean it was fine, they say something like “he’s the only gay guy were okay with” and “you’re barely gay” and shit like that but I always took that as my personality was so great they could ignore their prejudice. Anyways I got to a point of trying to “buy” friends, by always buying everyone’s lunches and food and snacks, I spent about €3k on the ppl in my year because I thought it was an easy way to start friendships but later on I found out ppl were talking shit about me saying “he’s buying his friends”. This year I made really good friends, made a best friend then we stopped being friends but that’s not the point, up to this point my only close friends were women and I’m trying to be friends with men more to “heal my inner child” and try live out my childhood dreams of “being normal” but I never hang out with them or anything and as summer is here I see them playing football every Saturday and all I want is to play with them, but I’m never invited. The thing is I feel like I can’t ask bc that would be way too sad but I want to so bad and I just don’t know what to because I just want to have friends and hang out with them and play football.

So I, m 18, am autistic and into men, because of this I had a not so great childhood friendship wise, I never had friends growing up, mainly because I hadn’t learned how to mask yet and everyone thought I was weird, eventually when I finally reached secondary(high school?) I finally started making friends the first year, I had a best friend who I was really close with, but considering now I was probably too much for her given I was trying to live out my dreams of having a best friend through her, but her parents wanted her to move schools, and from then on I had a lot of trouble with finding my ppl and having close friends. As well as this I had came out just before secondary bc I had a very loving and accepting family, but I wasn’t accepted in school at all by the boys in my year, and it took about four years for me to finally make some male friends despite my sexuality, but I still had to tone down my sexuality and almost go back in the closet and act straight, I mean it was fine, they say something like “he’s the only gay guy were okay with” and “you’re barely gay” and shit like that but I always took that as my personality was so great they could ignore their prejudice. Anyways I got to a point of trying to “buy” friends, by always buying everyone’s lunches and food and snacks, I spent about €3k on the ppl in my year because I thought it was an easy way to start friendships but later on I found out ppl were talking shit about me saying “he’s buying his friends”. This year I made really good friends, made a best friend then we stopped being friends but that’s not the point, up to this point my only close friends were women and I’m trying to be friends with men more to “heal my inner child” and try live out my childhood dreams of “being normal” but I never hang out with them or anything and as summer is here I see them playing football every Saturday and all I want is to play with them, but I’m never invited. The thing is I feel like I can’t ask bc that would be way too sad but I want to so bad and I just don’t know what to because I just want to have friends and hang out with them and play football.

Get your request in for part 2 right now. Because I will not do every single villain.
Joker: Wow, you're so cool and quirky and different, no one else on this planet is like you…
Harley Quinn: Hello LGBTQ community, this is not the last time we will meet!
Catwoman: Your not that picky about women, you just want them to step on your neck!
Man-Bat: You are not fighting the furry allegations. This is literally if Batman's fursona was finally given physical form.
Scarecrow: You know that stereotype of autistic boys are obsessed with trains? Well here's the trains of DC, your welcome.
Bane: God, do you guys like to be choked.
Killer Croc: “Oh I already know; this is for people with anger issues.” WRONG! Croc is for the people who's neutral state is crying.
Mad Hatter: Prison, for multiple reasons…
Poison Ivy: We reach our entry of “Please, oh please, for the love of God, keep it in yer pants”!
Deadshot: Your interpretation of this man has been permanently warped by Suicide Squad (2016)
Deathstroke: There are people who are attracted to daddy's and then there's you, people who are attracted to fathers
Twoface: Crippling gambling addiction “I don't have a problem, I can stop whenever I want!” Shut up and go to therapy
Ra's al ghul: Your friends think that you are a happy person. Your best friends know that you are a sentient sad clown painting…
Riddler: Hello LGBTQ community, you've been caught in 4K
The Penguin: Given that Batman doesn't have any elderly villains, I get that you'll take what you can get. Also yer probably gay
Kiteman: Your definitely gay
Mr. Freeze: There's 2 options: either you haven't gotten over your EX or you just like Shakespeare. There's no in between
Nora Freeze: You saw Frozen all the way back in 2014 and you have annoyed your friends by making it your personality ever since.
Victor Zsasz: For the love of God, murderers are not “cute little beans deserve the world,” THEY ARE VILE PEOPLE!!!
Baby Doll: Prison, I don't need to explain…
Baby Face: What right do you have being the first one threatening violence when you look like some sleeping hamster?!
Polka-dot Man: You just want that one villain to do something, but they always manage to disappoint you
Red Hood: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say “you do not have a good relationship with your father…
Music Meister: Your a theater kid, and I do mean that in the most insulting way possible
Black Mask: You were that one kid in middle school who constantly screamed about being in gangs, but was the first one to run away when someone checked you for it.
Clock king: In every friend group there is someone with one of these character traits: the meme lord who can't be taken to public places anymore, the STEM major who is desperate for a new family, or the gay one.
Sweet Tooth: Hello LGBTQ community, specifically the members who's sinuses have been permanently destroyed by party drugs
The ventriloquist: Your parents owned the most creepy ass dolls and you have yet to get over this Crippling fear
Hugo Strange: You put on a different character for everyone you're around and that is a problem and you need help…
Hush: You and your childhood friend had a fall out when you were teens and they definitely held a grudge. Or you're holding the grudge and in that case, seek help
Firefly: Hello LGBTQ community, specifically the ones with an obsession with pyromania and the 4th of July!
Condiment King: Hello LGBTQ community, specifically everyone with a food addiction! By the way; get help for that…

(sorry in advance english is not my first language, and sorry if this is long.) so i'm 19 and AFAB and i've been questioning my gender since i was 14. I realized i was bisexual at 13, and i rarely questioned that. I first identified as demigirl, than as genderfluid, sometimes as agender, sometimes as non-binary, than demigirl again, and since I can't make up my mind i've been sticking with genderfluid.
since i was a kid i felt like i SHOULDN'T be a girl. my pants always "fit me" weird, i wanted to play like boys did, but on the outside i was always girly. i always felt like someday i would have been a man; when i was a teen my girl friends would get lazer to get rid of mustache, and i never did because i was scared that "if one day i become a man i want to have a mustache" (now i know that's not how lazer works.) i have a boyfriend (he/they), and he's the best. he sometimes refers to me as their girlfriend, their boyfriend or their partner. And having a boyfriend is what started all this mess that made me think that i'm not actually genderfluid, but transmasc (not necessarily binary). Because normally i dont feel entirely bad about being "a girl"; i have long hair, wear mostly feminine clothes, and i dont have much issues with having a feminine body. Yes i still feel on my own as something is missing, but i am still comfortable being girly and being percieved as a girl. But being my boyfriend's girlfriend just...feels wrong. I read this on another reddit post, and it's like i dont feel comfortable being in a STRAIGHT relationship, like that's the part that throws me off. So then i start questioning about my sexuality; am i gay? but this doesn't seem right, i know i'm attracted to girls. So maybe i am a lesbian? And this is freaking me out, cause ofc i have a boyfriend and i love him and it wouldn't make sense. But in some way it does. I feel like when I'm watching wlw couples on the internet sometimes i feel jealous, and i feel terrible. But i feel even more jealous watching mlm couples. And also, thinking back, when i was in a (semi)relationship with a girl, i didn't really feel like loving her as a girl; i really felt like i wanted to love her as a boy. But idk if this is just because of heteronormative standards. And sometimes i feel like since i have a boyfriend then i should be his GIRLfriend, cause somewhere in my internalized homophobia "that's how couples should be". So maybe I'm a boy and I'm just holding back because of fear?
I live in a small town, and my circle of friends haven't even accepted that i'm nonbinary yet. I dont know if i will ever come out as trans, or if i ever want to. I just wish i could sleep and wake up as a man and no one would question anything.
I just want to know if there is some explanation to this or if someone else experienced it. Thank you so much. <3