Smoking alternative e-cigarettes river ranch

Here's mine-
Percy Jackson - I have swallowed my pride (To say goodbye), Falling for You, too close to the sun
Harry Potter - The Train to Nowhere, Certain Dark Things, Victoria Potter and the Houses of Hogwarts
Star Wars - The 212th Attack Battalion's Guide to Staging Rescues, R2-D2 Saves the Galaxy (Okay, so Obi-Wan helps a little), Certain Point
A Song of Ice and Fire - A Wolf Amongst Lions, i will be your sword and shield (your camouflage) and you will be mine, biggering
House of the Dragon - Threads of Black, Threads of Green, put down that gravestone, Viable Alternatives
Marvel - Blame It on the Bard (Who is Obviously Tony Stark), Ásgarðrian Galdr, Mr. Parker Declined to Comment
Avatar: The Last Airbender - a nation, held, A Tale of Ice and Smoke - Water, Southern Lights
The Witcher - Songs of War, to grow in adversity, A Hoard of Witchers
Miraculous Ladybug - Worthy Opponent, Copycat, Kill Em With Kindness
The Grishaverse - Our Lines in the Sand, tell me what it means to find God in your sock drawers. tell me again. (what if love were enough for us), misclassification
Yuri on Ice - Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches, Jason's Master Plan (to dating the Cute Asian Guy), Call Everything on the Ice...
+ some misc fanfics that I wanted an excuse to recommend - galaxies growing inside of me (Merlin), fathers and sons (X-Men), Vale of Shadows (Stranger Things)

Creating a new daily routine is a critical step in quitting smoking. This routine should exclude cigarettes and instead focus on healthy habits. Incorporating cessation aids like Tabex can help ease the transition by managing cravings effectively.

Developing a New Routine

1. Morning Start

• Begin with Exercise: Start your day with some light exercise such as walking, yoga, or stretching. This helps reduce stress and lessens cravings.
• Healthy Breakfast: Eat a nutritious breakfast to boost your metabolism and keep your energy levels up.

2. Workday Structure

• Break Replacement: Replace smoking breaks with short walks or tea breaks. Use this time to clear your mind or chat with a colleague about non-work-related topics.
• Stress Management: Keep stress balls or puzzles at your desk to keep your hands busy and mind engaged when cravings hit.

3. Evening Wind Down

• Engage in a Hobby: Spend time on a hobby you enjoy or try something new like painting, cooking, or playing a musical instrument.
• Relaxation Techniques: Practice meditation, deep breathing exercises, or read a book to relax and unwind.

4. Nighttime Ritual

• Prepare for the Next Day: Set out your clothes, pack your lunch, and plan your breakfast. Having a plan can reduce morning stress.
• Reflective Journaling: Before bed, write in a journal. Reflect on the successes of the day and set goals for the next day.

Utilizing Cessation Aids

• Using aids like Tabex can help manage withdrawal symptoms and cravings, making it easier to stick to your new routine without cigarettes.

Tips for Success

• Stay Consistent: Stick to your new routine daily to establish these habits as your new norm.
• Seek Support: Share your goals and progress with friends or support groups who can offer encouragement.
• Reward Yourself: Set milestones and reward yourself when you reach them to keep motivated.

Conclusion

Building a new routine without cigarettes is about replacing old habits with healthier alternatives and using the right tools to support your journey, such as Tabex. With commitment and support, you can successfully adopt a lifestyle free from smoking.

feels like its so hard to connect w people for me but ig imma try anyway. lookin for the weirdos/chronically online mfs hmu yea i want all of yall in my dms rn anyone das into obscure shit graveyards angels forests fascination around dying unknown churches smoking witching hours 2000 rnb tumblr ps2 real alternative silent hill horror type shit hmu it do be lonely

So, from my understanding a drink is acceptable but cannabis use is not?
“Be alert and of sober mind” Wouldnt that put any alcohol use under the dont do list too?
Outside of the bible cannabis > alcohol in terms of being safer and somewhat beneficial. Im relatively new to re-reading the bible and learning. Im committed i just have a lot of questions and ive looked for answers and see a lot of pros and cons for both sides of the arguement.
I smoked cannabis prior to my journey of learning about god. At times socially and at times for medicinal benefits more than just “getting high”. I feel like cannabis gets a bad rep there wasnt of an alternate mindstate when consuming cannabis if anything like rastafrians the use may even allow one to focus on reading and meditating more.
I consumed alcohol very seldomly after my late teens/ early 20s. Everytime i got drunk i felt terrible after. The use of alcohol never made sense to me outside of peer pressure. Its not hydrating and it doesnt taste good unless its mixed.
Am i reading too deep into the anti-cannabis consumption of Christianity? Have the times changed the outlook of the use? Is it truly a sin?
Theres zero addiction with cannabis for me i cut it off cold turkey with no withdrawal symptoms. Its not a drug in my eyes any more than sugar or coffee is. Its a herb just like thyme or sage is. But i also dont want eternal damnation for smoking a joint instead of using nyquil at night.
Thoughts?

hi!
i recently got new brakes (end of march/sometime in april) and haven’t driven much except for a three hour drive to my ranch job beginning of may.
i drove down to the city today and took a pretty bumpy, steep dirt road for about 45 minutes. i was on my brakes for most of the time since my truck is getting old. afterwards my brakes smelled real bad and i saw just a bit of smoke but not much.
i was easy on the brakes after that. i ran into a very kind cowboy after getting off the road and he said it was likely fine, but i unfortunately inherited my fathers anxiety, especially about cars.
thank you so much if you’ve read this far, and if you have any advice i would be extremely grateful to hear it.
if it helps, i drive a 2002 toyota tundra

Hi so this is a long story so apologies in advance. I’m going to try to give as many details as possible but still keep it as anonymous as possible since this may result in a law suit. So for some background we live in an apartment complex it’s on the smaller size and the parking lot is in an L shape and can fit around 75 cars. I have a car and so does my boyfriend which we stated prior to moving in and gave both of our license plates for their records. For context: We have had previous issues with the landlord/landlord company (never filed for some things but we were lied too about certain things prior to moving in, all that was recorded as well, because you can hear the person who showed the apartment to us on video tell us certain things all with his consent as he knew we were recording. For example that you couldn’t hear your neighbors on either side or down below since we are on the top floor and that the apartment wouldn’t reek like cigarettes by having the windows open cause other tenants violate the rental agreement and smoke in there apartments.) We have had to make a few calls because the guy who lives underneath us has put his hands on his wife and Or girlfriend (we aren’t sure) and a few others neighbors have called the cops as well. The first time that we called because we heard her screaming and him throwing glass (we had already called police) they basically told us that they couldn’t do anything and couldn’t evict him or intervene ???? The second time we called to try and lodge a noise complaint which we were hoping would actually get them to take action and we took video this time (she was screaming for help and our neighbor texted us that she already called the police) she basically told us if we called again it would be a negative mark against us as tenants. That leads us to today, I work from home so there are times that I don’t use my car often maybe once or twice every other week. The car also has battery problems so it’s a pain to drive and was planning on selling it. My boyfriends car is newer and he usually drives us places. I usually park in the same spot if I do use my car. I came home today (Saturday 10am) after walking to get a haircut that was down the street and when I came home there was a giant bright orange sticker (it took up a good portion of my back window) on the back of my car saying I had to move it by Monday 7am or it is to be towed. There was no case number and I called local police and they confirmed that they didn’t do it. This is where it’s hilarious it says if you have any questions to call them… the office opens at 9am on Monday so there’s no way to contact them through phone, or email before my time would run out to move the car. Tried to start my car to move it and bring it somewhere else and bam battery issue. I’m basically in tears at this point and a few neighbors are standing outside some smoking and some staring through their apartment windows. As I was getting out of the car I saw some were pointing and laughing at me. Some shit straight out of a movie. I ran inside sobbing due to the embarrassment I felt and it took some time to calm down. Not needed but I had just found out this morning my grandmother was in the icu while walking home after the haircut so it was an awful day. Even as I’m typing this now I’m still shaking. After some calming down and my boyfriend trying to help I tried to figure out what to do luckily I had AAA due to previous car issues and my boyfriends wonderful family let me tow the car to their house. The tow truck driver was amazing and urged me to seek legal help as he was baffled they would do this and covered the sticker as he was towing to take away some of the embarrassment I felt as people were watching from their window. On our lease when it comes to cars it says if they deem appropriate to tow they will reach out either through email or a phone call which never happened. We have never missed a rent payment and we keep the noise level low and never had neighbors complain about us, we don’t smoke and rarely have visitors, if we do they aren’t there longer then 3-4 hours during the day. I apologize for the long post but I’m not sure what to do and I don’t want to live here anymore and don’t want to go outside due to the embarrassment of a good portion our neighbors seeing what happened and making fun of the situation. Also they have signs saying 24 hour surveillance but the cameras broke and we’re taken down and never replaced 2 years ago. (Yes we have called and asked and the office told us they don’t have cameras) My car is older but it’s in good shape no dents or chipped paint and still looks brand new so I don’t think it’s an issue to do with old junk cars muddying the lot which there are some worse I.e. misusing tires or taped with cut tape and they never received a sticker of warning to tow. Please help on what the best decision to do here is.

chinese history can’t be separated from the problem of eunuchs, a political class, that was in theory supposed to be loyal to the emperor but turned out to be as self-interested as any other clique
a particularly messy rebellion against them
as a matter of interest, they also had the penis as well as the testicles removed giving rise to urinary tract problems that were highly unpleasant and even so, the imperial concubines usually took eunuchs as lovers
i think on balance they probably did facilitate many centuries of highly centralised rule, a role today filled by communications and surveillance technology
the bottom line of any addiction is what is it excluding ?
what is the opportunity cost ?
usually its so high because you have recognised it as an addiction
human beauty
i have none of
its not sadness that leads one to grasp it
too fragile to be held
but a deep melancholy
death is too close
to
beauty
the female world
sorta isolated
its own bubble
sorta tangential
to reality
propaganda and dictatorships work by controlling information and hence beliefs and opinions and it is amazing how easily we driven by these into various insanities
from the control point of view, any creativity is a threat or poison and is dealt with by the force of suppression or aversion
in delusian terms "creativity is an act of resistance"
when on reddit and you get downvoted, just repeat to yourself "a downvote is an upvote" which it really is since you have distressed an idiot !
the freedom
of good health
in old age
there
is
no
other
women
the burden of ovaries
undercuts
an entire life
seeker and sought
the religious parlance
meaning
nothing
"zen" is a wrapped up box with some writing on it saying "i promise the answer’s inside" and when you open it up, its empty
i would guess the royal family has been boosted to the gills for covid and king charles and princess catherine both getting cancer makes me wonder
the precipice’s edge
unstable
dangerous to be there
walking
back
takes
time
on the other hand
stability
is an illusion
st. isaac the syrian
quotes I
quotes II
“ for it is more expedient to be bruised than dead ”
he’s very underappreciated
the
female
need
for
faces
deep
genetic
programming
han china
umpteen million
one
grain of sand
amongst many
must alter your perspective
the
system
can
do
without
you
existential angst
when tears roll from a baby’s eyes
its a bit early to be thinking about these matters
pillars of salt
we are always looking behind
but at least we can see
what has gone behind
what we can’t see
is
what is behind
other pillars
of
salt
plucked from life
unto death
another state of being
the former from the latter
distinctive is
but how the latter
views the former
we can never know
ed. a poem i wrote on looking at a photo of emily dickinson’s nephew, gilbert dickinson who died of typhoid aged eight, the rhythms and semantics of the poem make it seem like it could have been written by emily ?
a non traumatic demonstration of how a caesarean delivery is done
its not a trivial procedure, i’ll say that
something i had never thought about
not surviving an operation
it happens
even
with
the
routine
the unwanted
stalks
us
everywhere
.
something i had never thought about
surviving an operation
it happens
even
with
the
routine
the unwanted
stalks
us
everywhere
feeling
the travesty
of how ill it fits
with the way this world works
the thought of nothing squared
halve it
then triple it again
is still nothing squared
travelling and living in a new place you like for a while and then leaving again
its like falling in love and then breaking up, what can you do ?
continuities
dreams
stitching together
what is discontinuous
interior stresses rend
apart
what is held together
for a while
all rivers run
as coleridge said
to oblivion
ed. these lines below from coleridge’s most famous poem have always puzzled me, now i think about it, my poem is an alternative, more abstract version of his full poem which has always puzzled me and now it has sort of solved itself, i can’t believe it has sat in my brain for thirty or forty years as a puzzle looking for a solution
where alph, the sacred river, ran
through caverns measureless to man
down to a sunless sea
i give credit to coleridge claiming the poem is unfinished, but i am not sure that level of intense creativity can be sustained and even in terms of the existing poem it was starting to fall apart by the end
this is such a zen/religious thing, taking other’s words and paintings, not a single thing is their own
this is because the moment they say something or draw something of their own its laughable
you can’t tell 'em, diet and exercise are extremely important in keeping good mental health “ recent research published in the journal clinical nutrition reveals a significant link between high consumption of ultra-processed foods and an increased risk of developing depression
this study, conducted in brazil, indicates that individuals adhering to diets rich in ultra-processed foods are more likely to experience depressive symptoms over time these findings underscore the potential mental health risks associated with dietary patterns characterized by processed and convenience foods ”
i nearly ran into a cyclist a week ago on a windy back road because neither of us was keeping far enough to the left, then a little later nearly hit a car because, again i was not keeping far enough to the left
hopefully i have learnt, i think i was driving like i drive at night when you can assume you will see any oncoming traffic well ahead because of their headlights
daylight gives no such clues and cutting blind corners seems to be a local habit
“ taken together, our data highlight the profound impact of exercise in rejuvenating aged microglia (ed. reverting their gene expression signature to that of young microglia), associated pro-neurogenic effects and on peripheral immune cell presence in the ageing female mouse brain ”
julliard
clone factory
squashes
creativity
assembly line
performance
when OP’s bleed
their writers
in denial
about their injury
but
a portion
of
their
brain
cries
ed. certified GPT-free
the double edged sword
cuts
its holder
as one brought up on a very patriarchal version of english history its interesting to see that william the conquerer’s success was in part due to having a very politically competent wife
ed. video has 3 parts
also interesting is that due to harold godwinson having been captured in normandy and kept there for a while, he knew both mitilda (possibly even having an affair with her) and william very well and should have been more au fait with norman battle tactics and strengths i have a theory that the middle ages and somewhat later had in effect a breeding program through intermarriage within the nobility/aristocracy creating a politically competent class, because politics is not a natural skill to the species, same thing for ancient egypt, in fact today’s international politics suffers a lot from people lacking any sort of the rationality and largeness of mind required

You’re a damn fool, you know that?”, said Gemeti.
After they arrived at the palace, Lord Gyholt’s servants showed them to their quarters where they would stay with the Fursaglan lord’s own staff. It was a spacious set of rooms, whitewashed walls and a light breeze gliding in from the outside bringing in the awful smell of the city’s smoke. They seemed nice enough though there was no way to communicate anything to them since neither group knew the other’s tongue. Gemeti took a reluctant Ettu away from the main group to chastise her in a corner of the room.
Ettu sighed heavily, “Yes, I know. You’ve done nothing but tell me since I joined Lord Palanu’s service. He can punish me if he wants to. That Marhuk’s smile and laughter would be worth every bit of misery”. She could still picture that beautiful smile he had that made her heart skip a beat.
The other woman put her fists in her hips, “What would your mother say about this?”.
Ettu laughed, “She would hand me a flask of animal fat”.
Gemeti blushed and sucked in her breath in irritation before throwing her head back in a guffaw. That’s when Ettu knew she had her. Her mother always told her to win people over with a smile and a jest and ever since it had worked like a charm and got her out of trouble many times. The other woman stopped suddenly when she realized she was loud enough to draw the gaze of several of the other servants but then giggled more quietly with Ettu.
The giggling was cut short when a Fursaglan servant hurriedly entered the room and closed the door behind him. He leaned against the door as if bracing himself to prevent anyone else from coming in.
One of the other Fursaglan servants walked up to him and asked a question. Before he could answer, a sword ran through his back and out of his stomach and spat blood out. The worried man screamed and coughed blood as the door hinges broke and the door itself crushed him. Through the door, came a man in silver armor, other armed men behind him. The warrior was big and muscular which left Ettu in no doubt that he broke the door down by himself. He hacked down the inquisitive servant, killing him with two blows to the head.
One woman belted out an ear splitting scream, cut short by the murderer’s quick dash towards her, ramming his obsidian sword through her heart. Another woman began running for the window which led the others to do the same. More assailants filtered in, slashing at more men and women and creating a pool of gore and guts.
“Oh fuck!”, said Ettu.
Gemeti took her hand and pulled her away from the bloodshed and into the window. But all the servants rushed through at the same time, leaving none of them free to jump out. Hemmed in to one side of the room, they made it easier for the warriors to cut them down.
Gemeti’s face was struck with horror, “Gods! They killed them. Just slashed them like lumberjacks at a forest”.
The first intruder cleaved her head off with his already gory sword. The warrior had been sawing off another servant’s arm when he saw her with an almost feral expression on his face and jumped at her. Blood flew at Ettu’s face, a gasp all that escaped her. She never had it in her to scream but that didn’t mean she wasn’t scared.
Piss slithered down her legs as she knelt before him, “Please don’t kill me. I don’t want to die”, with hands held up as if she could stop a sword swing.
The warrior smiled at her fear, enjoying every second of it. Through his grin he said with a thick accent, “Die, Aroloth”.
Suddenly, one of her hands turned bright green. A sharp pain surged through her arm and manifested itself in a lance of fire, blasting from her palm and into the murderer’s chest. He fell down, never knowing what killed him.
At the north wing of the palace, Lord Gyholt was gesturing at his Sentinels, barking out orders and cursing at his manservant to put the armor on faster. He had men watch the windows to gauge the enemy numbers and servants cowering at a corner. Meanwhile, Palanu calmly ran an oilcloth along his khopesh and swung it around to test it amidst all the chaos in the room. Two of his guards flanking him.
“Asula! Go with Mazni and his brothers. By Crudas! Where’s Marhuk?”, said Gyholt as he swore by the Fursaglan god of warriors.
The throne room was a cream-colored, marble representation of Fursagla’s history with intricately etched bass reliefs of the Eagle Kings and their households. The images were everywhere, in each floor tile, round pillar, step in the dais, and the very throne itself. The whole place seemed to burst with reminders of Fursagla’s martial glory as if a man might quickly forget it.
“What’s the best route to the barracks?”, asked the Aroloth lord.
Gyholt shooed his manservant away once he was done, “What? You mean to go out there? Wait for me and my Sentinels. We can go out together to rescue your men”.
A man’s howl of pain took both lords’ attention. One of the watchers was pierced with an arrow in the clavicle. A warrior climbed in through the window as the watcher sobbed at his pain, the sobbing man grew quiet as a sword thrust to the temple ended him. More assailants entered, killing another watcher with a spear through the skull.
Immediately the Sentinels ran to their lord in a wall of bronze and hides and slammed their shields into the ground with an intimidating, “Huh!”. The enemies quickly swarmed the room, tearing arms and slashing necks all the while of any man not behind the Sentinels or Palanu and his guards. One assailant in particular wore Dendra armor and a plumed helmet with cheek pieces and a grim smile plastered on his face.
“Gojan”, said Lord Gyholt.
“Gyholt”, said Gojan son of Asgena.
“Where’s your father? If we could get to him then we can end all this senseless violence and make amends”, said the Fursaglan lord.
The nobleman sneered, “What makes you think we’re stupid enough to believe that?”.
“You were stupid enough to attack my palace”, retorted the former rebel.
The younger man snarled and shouted an order to attack. His men charged, bringing to bear wrathful blows and glory-hounding sprints. Palanu and his two guards (Sylon and Naru-zim) braced for impact, holding khopeshs and tower-like shields except for the Aroloth lord.
Even with the lack of shield, Palanu held his khopesh before him, giving vicious strokes with its hungry edge to the first man that faced him. The warrior had barely grown his chin hairs when he threw himself at the noble with wide eyes and panicky spear thrusts. The khopesh darted out and banged against his copper helmet. While his opponent was dazed, Palanu quickly reversed his grip and hooked the young man’s shield, pulling him away from his companions as if a babe from a nest of vipers. Only the babe landed in a nest of cobras. Once he stole away the shield, the Aroloth pushed the tip of his sword through his gullet and tore it out with a strip of flesh dangling in the hilt. The fight lasted less than two seconds.
The room became a cauldron of action as men on both sides jabbed and pushed each other, a red flood spilling into the floor. In the midst of this battle, Gojan saw Palanu’s prowess with his khopesh. After killing his first opponent, the lord let the next man come only to hack him down with equal vigor. His beautiful, sky blue sleeves became drenched in crimson blood, spit adorned his forehead, fire burned behind his eyes.
The magma in his veins coursed through his body, his whole world narrowed down to his blade and his next victim. He killed them all, the ugly, the beautiful, the sad, and the happy. Gojan watched it all traverse before him. With greedy determination, he pushed past his men to get to the Aroloth lord.
“AROLOTH!”, he bawled.
Sylon saw him first whilst his lord slew yet another traitor and bellowed out a war cry to call him out. The Fursaglan noble fixed his eyes on the bronze-armored guard and stomped towards him, bashing the heads of the remnants of the fighting men still not in formation, chunks of brain-matter and skull-bone flew up and rained down, adding to the collage of death unleashed by Asgena.
Sylon’s khopesh wove a tapestry of slaughter as he ended the lives of men who stood between him and Gojan. There was no speech by either man like in the songs, no ceremonies like in Strohinite duels or war dances like in the Demon Isles, just the fight. Mace met khopesh, stone against bronze. The bronze-armored man expected to get a few chips off his opponent’s weapon but had realized it was spell-bound. Gojan grinned nastily as he belted out an animal growl that caused it to glow a deep purple and they clashed again.
The blade juddered and nearly leapt from Sylon’s grasp this time, but he bit his tongue in determination and his knuckles whitened as he tightened his grip. The mace spat lightning and hissed with every touch. Another series of clashes pelted Sylon’s khopesh with many notches. Battle-madness held him, veins popped out along his hands and forehead. The Fursaglan noble lost his grin and sweat beaded his brow as he only barely swept aside yet another lunge from the guard.
Though he was an expert warrior trained from birth, Gojan only ever fought against peasants in the battlefield. Unbeknownst to him, Sylon was as blueblooded as he was and was considered gifted for his young age. When the son of Asgena realized the man wasn’t going down, he grew desperate, driving harder swings into his opponent and expending more of his strength.
Sylon realized this and simply let his shield take the beating. The cured hides blackened and light wisps of smoke rose from the places the Fursaglan bashed with his mace. The Aroloth man’s muscles jolted, the slight twinge of fear that belied his defence fueling his every move and stratagem. With a twist of wrist, the mace slid by and took the Fursaglan’s momentum with it. Out balanced and out maneuvered, Gojan was at the mercy of Sylon’s blade. The tortured khopesh sank deep with a vengeance between shoulder and neck.
Nerveless fingers dropped the mace, the deep purple glow dissolving into thin air. The noble warrior himself staring at the ground with glazed eyes and dripping blood. Sylon slid the khopesh out and much of his neck with it. Before the body dropped on the floor, the guardsman yelled out, “For the Emperor!”, as he awaited the next foe.
Naru-zim fought methodically, cold calculation and ruthless determination guiding his strikes and parries. Both khopesh and shield were trained for offense and defense and narrow was the window which a man could strike true against a foe like him. Nary a flinch shook him from his deep concentration from the killing, slicing flesh with a butcher’s precision and sending souls to the River Vim which was his people’s concept of the afterlife. He made no war cry, he let his blade do the talking. And it sang a bloody chorus as men fell like trees in a logging camp. After his last swing felled another man, he noticed the rest of the traitors were retreating with tails between their legs. Cowards, he thought. A man should stand and fight until his lifeblood oozed from him.
Palanu wiped his khopesh in the cleaner parts of his clothing, “Peace be with you”, he said to the dead men who were his victims.
“They were traitors to our God, Lord Palanu. No men are less deserving of mercy as these”, said Naru-zim as he stabbed a groaning traitor and left him in a pool of his own blood.
“Mercy is a gift of the righteous, my friend. A man is not judged more than when he has the upper hand”.
Naru-zim bowed at his lord politely before he turned a corpse over and pushed his khopesh into its neck. When Sylon strayed from them to kill more of the wounded, he barked out, “Sylon! What are you doing?”.
The other guard turned to him, “What do you think? Killing the enemy”.
Naru-zim screwed up his face in anger, “Our job’s to protect Lord Palanu not running off after the enemy”.
“How else do you protect him if not by killing the enemy?”, said Sylon, flabbergasted.
“Enough, both of you”, growled Palanu, “Like a pair of old wives, you are. We are still in the presence of Lord Gyholt and his Sentinels. Don’t shame the Emperor’s name”.
The two guards muttered their apologies and Sylon jogged back to Palanu’s side.
Lord Palanu approached Lord Gyholt and gave him an apologetic smile, “Please forgive the disgrace you witnessed, my lord. My men are… young and untested in the realm of manners and discipline”.
The Fursaglan lord nodded in understanding, “They are like brothers. I’m certain it is merely their eagerness to serve”.
Palanu nodded thankfully yet in the back of his head he was disappointed. ‘All my life I’ve heard of the many glorious deeds of the guardians of the God. I never pictured them bickering amongst themselves’.

Hi everybody! I'm Laura. I'm looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend for a serious and genuine relationship. I live in a very difficult social situation which makes me unsafe and unable to pursue anything of this sort within my own country. Hence why I wish to leave. We would start online for a couple years and then we would do more in-person activities. I'm open particularly to European countries like the UK, or France, as I wish to retire there anyways. At the end of the day, after lovingly and authentically developing the bond, I am interested in marriage! In terms of my personality, I love a lot of alternative music. I also really enjoy ambient music. Ambient music hits some sort of emotional liminal space for me sometimes when I'm watching the sun rise or I'm in a dark, empty lecture hall. I don't know it's just very refreshing. I love reading and poetry as well as jewelry collecting, and more secondarily to that I also collect interesting perfumes. And other things. I collect beautiful things I can get very emotional about. I also love painting and art. I love museums. I'm very interested in a wide range of topics, of which I have been obsessed from my childhood years, such as history, occultism, nature, taxidermy and foreign cultures. I am a passionate baker and I am naturally gentle and nurturing when treated truly, truly well.
Physically, I am a gorgeous young woman and I am well aware and confident of it. I have beautiful, silky hair, well made features, and a face and body well worth falling in love with and more. And that's not to speak of my charms otherwise. I am intelligent and studious. I am strong like nothing else. I have an inner resilience and intensity that is both brilliant and will inspire respect from anyone who knows my story. I have something within me nothing in life or death would or could ever corrode.
I will say before discussing anything else though, that I find the "passport bro" culture disgusting. If you have a problem with the women in your own country and their standards, I can bet you the world that you will have every problem with satisfying me and my standards. I am very loving when earned, but I stoop for no one, at no point in time. And I'm also extremely able to pick out people who would try to take advantage of my situation. I have no time in my day, nor effort for nonsense or subpar treatment.
I'm looking for someone intensely gentle and patient, yet strong. You must be very patient as well, I am a slow-paced lady. My trust and respect are to be earned and grown. I will also not be willing to date immediately, I want a slowburn romance that is able to be given time to truly develop into something beautiful and lifelong. I have very high standards and I am not afraid to leave the table if I don't care for what's being served. I am more on the dominant side, though I am quite soft and love to be taken care of. I expect to be treated like a goddess by my partner. I also would expect you to have a stable and good job, and that you do not often drink, and do not smoke. I could consider a little older but I would strongly prefer someone closer to my own age, so around 20-25. Do not be conservative or bigoted.
If you find that this really resonated with you somehow, and you fit my requirements, reach out with a little essay on information about yourself with all the key information I might be interested in. If you are not relevant to my post, I will simply ignore your message.
I do share pictures of course, but only after I'm truly comfortable, which takes a while. And im demisexual. I only go into that sort of thing after quite a long time.

This one’s a doozie, so buckle up folks.
To make a long story short, I was using an alternative followers app to see who wasn’t following me back, and was locked out. Unfortunately, my recovery email is one that I no longer have access to, so Im completely unable to get back into my account, even though my password is correct. It’s a stupid system, but that’s not the point of this post.
Having an old Instagram account floating around isn’t the worst thing in the world, unless the profile picture is one of you smoking a blunt, and you’re trying to break into the professional world. That’s where I’m at, sadly.
Does anyone have ANY ideas on how I could truly get in contact with someone at Instagram to either access my old account, or to just delete it entirely? I really don’t care either way, I just can’t have a picture of me using drugs floating around on the internet. We all know that the “help center”, the support email, reporting, etc. is completely useless. Zuckerberg has oveunder .5 real human beings working on them at any given time, unfortunately.
If anyone has any ideas, connections, or solutions, I’d greatly appreciate your input. 🙏🙏🙏

This is a in-dept guide for those who are hoping to experience the Sunrise Express. This will be broken down into five main sections: booking your tickets, getting the tickets, getting to the train, aboard the train, and exiting the train/station. Please note that this is all anecdotal so YMMW
Booking Your Tickets:
TLDR: Book 1 month in advance the moment tickets become available, pre-fill the information on the site so that you can hit search the moment 10:00am JST rolls around, and select 1 passenger as the number of passengers regardless of being a party of 1 or 2.
There is an English version of the JR west website where you can book your tickets if you cannot read Japanese. While the English version of the site does not explicitly point this out, there are two types of rooms on the Sunrise Express that can sleep two people. There is the Single Twin room and the Twin room. The Single Twin room is in a bunk bed configuration and has less space whereas the Twin room has the beds side by side and there is more space. These rooms tend to sell out extremely quickly, within 3 minutes of release for purchase, as you are competing with people others who are trying to book them online and JR staff helping people book in person. Reservation for tickets open 1 month in advance at 10:00am JST and that's when you'll need to make the reservation if you want to get yourself any type of twin rooms. I've seen other posts online stating that you have a better chance of booking the twin style rooms at a station in person, but that wasn't an option for me so I can't confirm nor deny that will increase your odd of getting yourself a twin style room.
When it comes to the actual booking, be sure to double check details of your route to ensure that the stations you select are applicable. For example, the train stops at Osaka station when the train is headed for Tokyo, but skips Osaka station when the train is leaving from Tokyo. To book the train, I suggest having multiple tabs open with the necessary information on the site prefilled such that you can click on search button the moment 10:00am JST comes around. Also, you should have your credit card handy so that you're ready to pay assuming you're able to get a room. Since you're likely travelling with another person when booking a twin style room, both you and your travelling companion should do this to further increase your odds of booking the room. Booking the twin room (beds are side by side) is a bit easier since you can pre-select the train and twin as the room type. However, if you'd like book the single twin room (bunk bed configuration) you can pre-select just the train. After 10:00am JST and hitting search, you will then select "Sleeper Car B". For more details on a break down of how to book the different room types, take a look at the post by u/NightHawkCanada here. The next portion will focus on booking the twin room. Unfortunately I don't have any experience booking the single twin room so I won't be able to comment on that.
With the information pre-filled, click on search at 10:00am JST. You'll be brought to a page asking you to select a smoking or non-smoking room. Even though I don't smoke, I selected the smoking room as that was the only option available. I was concerned about the room potentially smelling like cigarettes, but at least for the twin room I rode in, it was a non-issue. Once you've selected a room, you will be asked for the number of passengers. Even though there were 2 of us who were going to be sleeping the room, my understanding is that you're supposed to put 1 as the number of passengers. According to the Google translated version of the Japanese version of the site:

As the price is set per room, please select "1 adult" for the number of guests whether you are booking for 1 or 2 people (including children)

If anyone has had success with reserving a twin room when putting 2 as the number of passengers, please let us all know. After putting in the number of passengers, you'll need to fill out your name, email, a 4 digit confirmation pin that you'll later use, and your credit card information. Make sure you use a credit card that you plan to bring with you when you will be riding the Sunrise Express and that you DO NOT lose your confirmation pin. You'll be asked to confirm your information and assuming all goes well you will receive an email from [westjr@jr-odekake.net](mailto:westjr@jr-odekake.net) confirming that your reservation is complete. I was charged 21,320 yen for the room and 8,910 yen for 1 basic fare ticket for a trip from Osaka to Tokyo.
Getting the Tickets:
TLDR: Get your reserved tickets from a green vending machine using your credit card and confirmation pin. Buy another basic fare ticket if you are party of 2 and only received 1 basic fare ticket from the vending machine.
You're able to receive tickets from a ticket vending machine or a station attendant right after you reserve them; you don't have to wait till the date that you'll board the train to get your ticket. Please note that you are only able to receive your tickets during certain times of day as station booths with attendants and vending machines are not 24/7. For more information on when tickets can be received by station, check the JR West website here. To get my tickets, I used one of the green vending machines, inserted the credit card I used to pay for the ticket online with and supplied the 4 digit confirmation pin. For a step by step guide with pictures on how to use the green vending machine to receive your tickets, follow the link here. Assuming you want to get receipt you will end up with four slips of green paper. They will be your ticket for the room,1 basic fare ticket, and your 2 receipts for the 2 tickets.
As you may have noticed, I said that I got 1 basic fare ticket from the vending machine even though there are going to be 2 people sleeping in the twin room. At the time, I was also a bit suspicious of it asked the information booth about it and they said it was okay even though there were 2 us and only had 1 basic fare ticket. However, due to the language barrier there was likely some miscommunication and I would later confirm my suspicions that for 2 people you would need 2 basic fare ticket. Assuming you are a party of 2, you will need to purchase another basic fare ticket that matches the one you just got from the vending machine i.e if you got a basic fare ticket for Osaka station to Tokyo station from the vending machine, buy another one. Before you board the train, you should ideally have 1 ticket for the room and 2 basic fare tickets. Luckily if you made the same mistake that I did, it isn't the end of the world and the attendants at the gate area can assist.
Getting to the Train:
TLDR: Get to the station 30-45 minutes early and the gate attendants are your best friend if anything goes wrong.
I strongly recommend, getting to the station about 30-45 minutes early, especially if you have luggage, so that you have ample time to deal with any unexpected issues and find your train platform. Even if you arrive a little too early there is likely a waiting area for you to rest at to wait for the train. The first challenge we faced was figuring out what platform was going to be departing from. Your best friend here is making sure to follow the signs for the JR lines and then finding one of the screens showing the trains and platform information. The information on the screens cycle between Japanese and English fairly. If you had 2 basic fare tickets, you could each go through the gate by putting in your ticket through the gate as normal; DO NOT throw away your basic fare ticket as you will need it on the train and to exit your arrival station.
However, since we did not have 2 basic fare tickets and the ticket booths and vending machines were closed, we had to work with the gate attendants to figure out a resolution. Using my very limited Japanese and Google translate, we were eventually able to get a stamped pieced of paper that according to Google translate meant this person entered at Osaka station. After getting pass the gate and arriving at the platform, we waited the aforementioned rest area till the train came. About 5 minutes before the train is set to arrive, take the time to figure out where the car your reserved room will be pulling up at using the guide on the floor so that you don't have to sprint to the correct entrance. Worst case you can find the correct car while on the train, but the passageways are fairly narrow so if you have rolling luggage it will be fairly inconvenient.
Aboard the Train:
TLDR: You can buy a basic fare ticket on the train using cash for the same price as if you bought it at the station or reserved a ticket online.
Assuming you boarded the train using the correct entrance, finding your room using the numbers on the wall is fairly simple; maneuvering with rolling luggage and backpacks not so much. Shortly after settling into the room and departing from the station, the conductor stopped by. We were very worried that there would be a huge up charge to buy a ticket on the train, but we were pleasantly surprised and it was just the same 8,910 yen for 1 basic fare ticket. From what I could tell, you would have to pay in cash and they should be able provide change, but since we paid the exact amount I can't confirm. The conductor will then issue you a paper ticket that you need to hold on to and show to the gate agent at your destination station.
The twin room has a little cubby area that is just big enough to store 2 standard carry on sized rolling luggage. The room was fairly alright and had a huge window. There are communal areas, sinks with mirrors to brush your teeth, fairly roomy bathrooms, and shower rooms that require you to purchase a shower card. Unfortunately, they were already all sold out when we went to try to purchase one. I suspect that if you want a shower card you'll likely have to be one of the passengers boarding fairly close to if not at the stations where the train departs. If you want food while on the train, you'll have to bring your own as there is no food served on the train and the vending machines only sell drinks. My two complaints are the room has 1 plug and you're not gonna get the most restful sleep as it isn't exactly quiet and it is a bumpy ride.
Tips:

• Bring body wipes in case you can't get a shower card
• Bring your own towel for the shower
• Bring your own tooth brush and tooth paste
• Bring a power strip or a power brick that can charge multiple devices
• Ear plugs and eye mask may help you get some better sleep
• Buy food before hand
• Bring motion sickness medication or avoid all together if you motion sickness easily

Exiting the Train/Station:
TLDR: Get ready to exit the train 5-10 minutes before your stop, especially if you have rolling luggage, so you don't miss it.
The train will announce the stations that it will be arriving at in both Japanese and English so you don't have to worry about missing your stop too much; it also helps when your destination is the last stop. That said, I suggest getting ready to exit the train about 5-10 minutes early especially if you have rolling luggage to make sure that you're able to exit the train as the doors tend to only be open for a few minutes.
When exiting the station, if you have 2 basic fare tickets you can each feed them into gate machines and they will "eat" them. However, if you do not have 2 basic fare tickets and had a ticket issued by the conductor like us, you will be giving the standard basic fare ticket and the ticket from the conductor to the gate agent. You can keep the ticket for the room as a souvenir if you'd like.
Overall the Sunrise Express was a pretty fun experience and I would love to do it again. Thanks for taking the time to read this guide and I hope this helps anyone who is planning to take a trip on the Sunrise Express - safe travels!

I’m sure this gets posted a lot so apologies for piling on. Any input is greatly appreciated. We’re looking to visit Washington in late September and have created a tentative itinerary. We’re a family of five with three kiddos, and at the time of travel, they’ll be 5, almost 3, and 9-months-old. We’ll be traveling with another family with two kids of similar age to our oldest two, and we’ve traveled together before and do great. We did a Colorado trip last fall together, so multiple stops, stays, and car time isn’t a major issue. Ultimately, we want to see as much as we can - realistically - with small children. The goal is fun and incredible experiences.
Where we need help is around: - Anything that you would omit completely, add, or alter? - Where to stay based on the itinerary? Olympic Nation Park seems overwhelming in trying to pick a place without a lot of driving back and forth. - Is it too much with children? Again, what would you make a must do with kids? - Anything that should be a must when back in Seattle?
ITINERARY:
DAY 1: - Fly to Seattle (early morning). - Picnic at park in Seattle (let kiddos burn energy - will need weather alternative plan). - Drive from Seattle to Packwood, WA via Hwy. 169, Hwy. 410, and Hwy. 123. - Along the way, drive the Sunrise Road via White RiveSunrise (NE Entrance to Mt. Rainier National Park). Weather could change this, and I am assuming Timed Entry will be needed. - Stay at Airbnb in Packwood.
DAY 2: - Mt. Rainier National Park via Stevens Canyon (SE Entrance). - Drive to Paradise, WA within park - lots of hiking and waterfalls. - Anything specific? - Stay at Airbnb in Packwood.
DAY 3: - Mt. Saint Helens via Windy Ridge Road - Picnic at Spirit Lake - Stay at Airbnb in Packwood (TBD) - or - SHOULD WE DRIVE TO OLYMPIC NATIONAL PARK?
DAY 4: - Drive to Olympic National Park via Lake Quinault - lunch at Lake Quinault Lodge. - Quinault Rainforest - hike. - Stay - TBD.
DAY 5: - Drive to Ruby Beach - tide pools. - Cape Alava - not sure on this one. - Drive to Hoh Rain Forest - hike Hall of Mosses. - Drive to Rialto Beach - hike/view. - Stay - TBD.
DAY 6: - Drive to Sol Duc Falls Trail. - Lunch at Lake Crescent - Hike Marymere Falls, Moments In Time Trail, Madison Falls, and Devil’s Punchbowl. - Drive to Hurricane Ridge - Hike. - Stay - TBD.
DAY 7: - Drive to Seattle via Whidbey Island (two ferries). - Coupeville - historic fishing village. - Whale watching tour? - Stay at hotel in Seattle (looking at Embassy Suites downtown).
DAY 8 & 9: - Seattle - Anything truly must do? - Pike Place Market - Chihuly Garden & Glass - The Museum of Flight - Starbucks Reserve Roastery - Seattle Aquarium - Seattle Japanese Garden
DAY 10: - Fly to Midwest

Chapter 9: Knowing
—
Suggested Listening:
Nicholas Brittel Agape
Required Listening ⭐️ Kwabs Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
⭐️ Raye Vela Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
—
“Is your heart doing okay?” I asked.
“Yes. It is fine. I am tired, but alright.”
“Good,” I said. “I was wondering. Can you tell me another poem? And then we can go to sleep.”
Sasha looked at me. “About what?” he said, smoke drifting into my face.
“I don’t know. Tell me one about someone you love.”
“Hmm,” he nodded. “Let’s see.”
He pondered this, then an expression I can only describe as conflicted crept across his face.
“What?” I asked.
“There are few I love so dearly as this person.”
My eyes widened. “Who is it?”
Sasha’s brow furrowed. Then he frowned. At first a little, then deeply.
“What?” I asked gently.
Sasha shook his head. I saw pain now in his expression.
“You don’t have to,” I said, my own brow furrowing. “Please don’t. I can pick something else. Or, actually, we can just go to sleep right now.”
Sasha closed his eyes. Then nodded as if he had come to a decision.
“I will do this. This person I love more than my own self. I would die for him. However, it will not be pretty, this poem.”
I frowned too. “Okay,” I whispered.
“ Sharp Like the tip of a blade Blunt Like the pommel of the same sword Me Like the face of his face Him Like the reflection of my visage Swift Like the bird of prey’s flight Ruthless Like the killing of its hunt Dark Like the night without the moon Troubled Like the Dead River of the Void Alive Like his heart’s beating rhythm Dying Like the joy of his soul “
“Who is that about?” I asked, concerned. “You, ‘the face of his face.’ Your twin?”
“Yes. He is not well,” Sasha said.
“Why? What happened?”
Sasha turned away from me, shaking his head. “It is too heavy to speak of just now. In the future we will.”
“Okay, I get you,” I reassured him.
“Thank you. I worry about him everyday. I call him just as much. I would give my life for him. I owe it to him,” Sasha said fiercely. “He gave his and much more. Because of his strength we survived an ordeal too terrible to speak of.”
I thought back to when he said he felt as if he were dying. I hadn’t known he meant it literally. Then the words he had latched on to: mangled and twisted. A picture was forming. A bad one.
“Thank you for creating this poem. You didn’t have to put yourself through that pain for me,” I said guiltily. Sasha shook his head at me.
“It is okay. Perhaps it was good to express his personality in poetry. It hurts to be away from him in this place. He-“ Sasha stopped. He rubbed his mouth. “I hope he is well enough to come eventually.”
I wondered what he’d been about to say. But I did not press the issue.
“Me too. I’m so sorry you all are dealing with that kind of pain. For what it’s worth, I think the poem you made about him is beautiful. Your brother sounds like a strong Wingscale that’s really going through it right now. I hope whatever joy has been stolen from him—from his soul—renews from the ashes. Or maybe some new joy will settle there, burning brightly.”
“Like a Phoenix,” he smiled. “I will tell him what you said. You two would get along, I think.”
“I can’t wait to meet him then,” I said. I wondered what sort of person he was. Moreover, I found it incredibly interesting that Sasha had a twin considering I did as well. I would tell him that news sometime when he was not already overwhelmed.
“Why don’t you get some rest? You’ve had all kinds of heart attacks and poetry and seen fire wings and what have you,” I suggested.
Sasha chuckled. “Perhaps. I must escape from this. I do not think I have made so many beautiful words manifest as poetry as I have tonight. If I do not sleep I will continue.”
“Okay, right? I usually spend some serious time writing these things. But tonight it’s like my mouth is possessed by my own self.”
“What an apt way to describe it. I feel the same. I acknowledge that my manner of speech is skilled, but tonight it holds a level of eloquence that I did not know I possessed.”
I thought back to his oration, the first thing he recited of our lyrical night. I shivered. “Sasha, you can ‘Speak to me’ anytime. This soul is listening. Eloquence indeed.”
“I promise I will speak to you more oration. You are the only person I know who would enjoy such serious strings of words for your own enjoyment.”
“I have a taste for dignity,” I replied.
Sasha paused. “What more do you need of eloquence when your mouth creates it from nowhere?”
“You have the flavor I want.”
Sasha stared at me incredulously and shook his head. “I am done with you again. You talk me into a trap at every turn.”
I cackled at him. “Alright, alright. It’s time for you go to sleep.”
“Very well,” he said, laughing gently.
I held him closer, although it was impossible. His wing came down over me like a shroud of protection. We held on to each other in silence, not needing anything to fill the space. I just breathed him. Smoke. Fire. Silence. Warmth. Breath. Growl. They spoke enough.
After a while of just laying there in peacefulness, he fell asleep. I could feel the regular inhalations and exhalations marked by the shudder of his chest. And he was a heavy sleeper. Or he was exhausted. Both probably. His flames were still wild even in slumber. Small flickers and tendrils of fire peeked every so often from his mouth. A deep growl emanated from his chest and throat at every exhalation. I stroked Sasha’s face as he slept, the heat of his fire on my hand, and he didn’t move an inch.
I watched him for a while until it occurred to me to write out all the words we had recited to each other. I turned over and reached past his wing to grab my phone from the nightstand. The glow from my screen was strange, it’s blueness cutting through the smoky red in my vision. I sat back and typed every amazing thing we had said.
Those collections of words we had stitched together from nothing just floored me. I had never made poetry like what I did that night. Such passion and beauty.
I looked at Sasha again, thinking about the words that had entranced me from his mouth.
‘Speak to me.’
‘Speak to me.’
The phrase kept ringing out in my chest. He was right. It was a rare thing to find someone who would hang on to your every word with the utmost attention. With actual interest, engagement. I wanted to speak to him forever, about anything. And he would listen. I would listen to him.
I closed my eyes and shook my head at such strong thoughts about a stranger. I thought of all the ‘normal’ people I had dated in the past. The relationships had all gone ‘normally’: date, texting, talking into the night, more dates, sex, dates. Accusations, breakups, crying. Getting over it. Normal stuff.
This was not normal, not in the slightest. Never in all my life had I behaved the way I did under that tree. I was still wondering who that was. Who was the Leila that kissed that way, that straddled dragons in broad daylight? That made love without a first date at all and then swore a stranger to an oath of binding, a whole relationship? That spoke poetry at him from her breath like it was my own fire?
Apparently I was her. It frightened me, the speed with which she and I had moved in one evening. And yet it all felt perfectly normal, inevitable.
Of course I had known when Sasha arrived there was something special about him, no matter how I tried to pretend everything was normal. why was I pretending?
That very first day, when I saw him walk into my morning class, I wasn’t paying attention when he said who he was. I had looked up and locked eyes with him. We held each others gaze for a beat longer than necessary.
Every damn class that day, and the following, I missed him announce his name. It was like a comedy sketch. The writing class we shared was the only one I was paying close attention to, and the professor had written his name on the board of course. It was infuriating.
I watched him like a hawk after he arrived that week. In all that time he didn’t speak around me. And I never spoke to him. Why hadn’t I? What had stopped me?
Just like he said, we just kept Circling each other, but never allowed ourselves to meet at the center of our orbit. He felt the same way. He had said he wanted to speak with me as well but for some reason he didn’t.
It was like a force was beckoning us to each other. To finally meet at the center of a Circle.
This day had been the first time I heard his voice at all. If I had heard it earlier, I would have been completely undone. I would not have let him walk away from me so many times.
I stared at his sleeping form, and a thought came to me again. He avoided speaking around me on purpose. Talking to me. He had known that getting close to me might start something, but had he know it would be his voice that caused such a domino effect? Then again, he knew far more than I did about Callings. Frequencies.
I balked at that word. It was so clumsy, so empty to how it felt. We shared vibes. My soul vibrated on the same wavelength as his body. Our mouths breathed the same breath. Our hearts beat the same.
Sameness. Oneness. Vibes.
He knew something would happen to his body if he let us get too close to each other. I was what he thought I was, and he had failed to prevent that change in us. But he didn’t know anything of how these changes would manifest.
It had happened so fast that he was alarmed to see me standing there in class. As soon as I greeted him, the very second he said ‘hi,’ that curious sound beneath his voice started. The thought that he was so helpless at that moment saddened me the same way it did him when he revealed the permanence of Calling. He never stood a chance. I kissed my hand and continued to stroke his face with that kiss.
And then the wings. The dreams and visions. Those two otherworldly beings… What were we? Were we gods or something? Were we reincarnated versions of them? Possessed? Were they using us? What did any of this mean? I did not know.
I tried to be more upset about this breech on our lives that sent us careening down a path we didn’t ask for. But looking at that red dragon, how could I? Our first contact was so lovely. The way we had spoken to each other in class was sweet. Neither of us could keep a smile off our faces. Laughing and carrying on, a perfect match of good humor.
I stared at him trying to conjure up feelings of grief, apprehension, fear, irritation or anything negative at all, and I came up with nothing.
I sighed. I could tell that in that other life, in that place of lakes of fire and expanses of the cosmos, that we were really something special. Something strong. Something beautiful. I was not alarmed at our sudden connection, the strength of it, the passion of it.
But if we broke apart from one another in the future—everything in me said no—that alarmed me. The coldness. The despair. The threat of death at an incomplete attunement. At a great falling away into a chasm. It was horrifying that Sasha could literally die from us being separated. It was unfair.
I would never let that happen. How horrible a thought. Not after this Calling had fallen upon him and surprises kept rearing their heads.
I was done writing our poems and, subsequently, my musings. I put my phone back where it belonged. My head was still swirling with all those thoughts, but I shut my eyes and tried to shut down my mind.
I held Sasha again. Even in his sleep he put his arms back around me. It made me smile to be enveloped in his warmth.
Eventually I drifted off to sleep as well.

I don’t know how long I had been asleep when I felt Sasha’s heartbeat pick up enough to wake me. It was the time where night lingers in the earliest of hours. Nothing but the soft murmur of calling insects and wind outside.
I groaned and looked up into Sasha’s face, but he was still sleeping.
“What is it?” I asked, groggy.
“Please,” he slurred.
“Please what?” I whispered, more alert.
He mumbled something more in his sleep. “Make it stop,” he whispered. “Please,” he pleaded. “…the shore...”
I put my hands over my mouth. I didn’t know what he could be dreaming about. It occurred to me that all that talk of pain and wounds might have stemmed from ptsd or something like that. He was in the military after all.
I let him be just in case that’s what it was. I did not want to add additional stress or confusion to a ptsd dream.
Eventually Sasha stirred of his own accord. He opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. I waited until he seemed to be all there with me.
“Hey, you alright?” I didn’t mention his sleep talking.
He didn’t say a word for a moment, just rubbed his eyebrows. Then he patted my back. I let go of him so he could sit up.
He removed his wing from around me, groaning.
“What is it?” I inquired.
Sasha rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at me. “I heard your Calling…” he whispered tiredly in wonder, so low I almost didn’t hear him. “It was soft and quiet, almost imperceptible. But I heard it, still, in my sleep…”
My eyes widened, my heart pounding as well. I sat up. “Really?” I whispered back. “What is it like?”
He moved his head to the side, still listening. “Soft waves. A wind chime. A whisper of song. I have heard it before. That is why I awoke,” he said.
“Really?” I asked. My Calling sounded peaceful like being at the beach. Of course, my favorite place. Interesting. I sleepily folded my arms under my head.
“It is very faint.” Sasha closed his eyes. “I know when I heard it.”
“When was that?” I asked.
“You are sleepy still. We can speak of it later.”
I waved him off. “We are awake now. I have no doubt when we say we’ll sleep again it will be no trouble. I fell to sleep easily and so did you.”
Sasha chuckled to himself. “Very well, Leila.” He leaned his back, head against the headboard. His eyes stayed closed.
“I was sitting with my brother, Pasha, upon a stone wall at the beach. It was the evening before I came to this place. I was unsure if I had made the right decision to go with my father. To leave Pasha behind. I had wanted to throw myself into my work to forget the ordeal we had both gone through. But Pasha told me I needed something new, and that whatever it was lie across the ocean waiting for me. Something fulfilling. He said that, surely, wallowing in guilt, in anger and sadness, would not help me heal my wounds although he was dealing with wounds of his own.”
I wondered what wounds he meant. I had seen the scars on his wings. More pain. More scars. Mangled and twisted. He had died and would do so again. Moreover, he had muttered something about the shore. And here it appeared in his story. What had happened to him?
As if sensing my questions, he inhaled deeply.
“I will tell you of the things that transpired eventually. It was… horrible. It is still too raw for me. I apologize for these strange disjointed hints of pain, of suffering.”
“No, no. It’s okay. We will discuss it all later,” I said appreciatively. “Go on.”
“Hmm. Even after Pasha’s encouragement, I still felt apprehension about traveling to this land. All at once, I heard a woman singing on the beach, yet I saw no one.
I heard the sound of wildly swaying wind chimes, of rain, of whipping winds, but there were nothing anywhere to make such sounds.
My brother thought I was crazy. But that voice stirred my spirit as I stared out at that dark water. It was mournful, like a siren in a tempest whose heart had been broken to pieces.
At one point, she whispered a barely discernible plea: ‘Someone, just please help me.’ ‘I can’t do this.’”
I gasped in alarm, my heart hammering away so hard I thought I would have a heart attack. I knew at once the woman was me. It was me who had been pleading in turmoil, with those precise words, wanting someone to swoop down and save me. By the Goddess…
Sasha continued his tale, perhaps not noticing my change in demeanor. “I didn’t know where she was, or what it was she did not want to do, but I told my brother to give me a moment.
I stood and walked along the shore, looking for someone in need, for anything strange. I never found any such woman. I spoke a word of peace to her, whoever she was, wherever she was.”
At the same time, we both said:“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be.”
Sasha stopped. He opened his eyes and stared at me in awe. “You heard those words?”
I nodded, heart still pounding. Which of us was having these heart troubles? Him or me?
Sasha shook his head, rubbing his face. “Madness. But truly amazing nonetheless,” he said quietly.
“Yeah…” I responded. I didn’t know what else to say.
“It was you,” he said, not asked.
“I suppose so…”
Sasha continued.
“I returned to my brother to conclude our talk. I told him I wanted to stay a while, and he stayed with me. The song turned into something sweeter after a time. I went looking yet again but never found you. Of course I could not. You were nowhere near me.
Eventually we left. Pasha and I parted ways, and I returned to my home.
No matter what I did, I could not shake your voice from my mind that evening. It sent shivers down my spine. So I returned to the beach. There was nothing else for it; I would have remained awake all night agonizing over my travels the next day anyway. Why not do so surrounded by such mystical music?
I went to a quiet place, book and blanket in hand. The water was complete still, yet the sound of waves was everywhere. Intangible, lapping against the shore.”
I recalled when I had mentioned sitting at the beach watching waves lapping on the shore. He had paused then, as we stood in his living room, thinking of something. I now knew he had recalled this event and wondered at the similarities.
“The sunset was vibrant, strangely so. It was stunning, like a painting. No one else seemed to find the sight of note but me.
You were singing, but again in sorrow. I stayed out there, reading a book and meditating, until others went away from the beach. Until only I remained. Your faint song, the softest whispers of singing, became sweet again. So much singing, you did. By the gods so much singing. It was like a quiet concert.”
I covered my face. “I’m glad you caught them,” I said, laughing.
“There was only one song I caught well enough to hear the words. You sang it over and over. I did not sleep until you uttered nothing more, your voice fading away. I felt empty at the silence, but content in that, perhaps, my presence had calmed this siren, that perhaps her broken heart had somewhat mended. Unfortunately for me; the absence of your songs caused a melancholy to settle in my spirit. A longing. I came here looking for your voice. I questioned your love of voices because it shocked me, the similarities we continue to share.”
“Hmmm,” I vocalized, not unlike he so often did.
Sasha regarded me, shaking his head in wonder. “Repeating that event back, it is obvious that this woman was you. At the time, back when it happened, I regarded it as a very strange occurrence or perhaps my descent into madness,” he said.
“You most certainly are not mad,” I said.
“Indeed. I know very well at this point that your experience across the ocean happened at that time. You knew my words.”
“I remember them well. Just like a lot of things so far, we have these experiences, the aspects of ourselves that are too similar to be a coincidence. We are like mirrors.”
“Only one of us is larger.”
“Sasha!” I exclaimed.
He laughed at me, hugging me. Then he lay down onto the bed again.
“Speak to me of that same evening,” he said.
I sat up slightly, leaning on my elbow, looking into his eyes.
“I was at the beach too. Certainly the same night, the same week you appeared at school. I have this one particular spot on the beach where no one goes but me. I would make myself a wood fire and look at the smoke swirl into tendrils, embers scattering to the wind. I would sit there to watch storms roll in the distance, writing poetry or doing homework or what have you.”
Sasha nodded, acknowledging the picture I painted was the same as his Call. I nudged him, making him smile.
“But that day? I was having an awful time. Every year I dreaded the same thing, but I always escaped. This time, there was no more running. I was cornered, trapped. And the choice was before me. I stared across the ocean and cried. I said it as you heard. ‘I can’t do this. Please help me.’ I just wanted someone to get me out of that situation, but I wasn’t willing to ask for it again. I was so tired of disappointment.
So I’m sitting there in front of these hypnotic flames singing to myself, trying to shake off those bad spirits. Couldn’t even write a poem about my own despair.”
“Impossible. I refuse to believe such nonsense,” he said, chuckling.
“Shocking, I know,” I agreed, smiling. “That’s when I heard a thunderstorm on the horizon. At least there was that, I thought. My greatest comfort to cheer me.
I’m listening to that distant storm, but there were no clouds, no darkness, no strike of lightning. It puzzled me.
But the sky. Oh Sasha, that was the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen. The same wonderful night sky you saw. It was brighter than normal, like fire and roses and gold melding with the sea. I have never seen a more beautiful place for the Goddess to drift into slumber.
I stood up and looked around. Further down the beach people were still going into the water, chatting, lazing about, like nothing was happening. Like this gorgeous sky and this distant storm did not exist.
Then I heard this voice. It was faint. Super faint. But so deep—“ I patted his chest, now knowing it was him. “Your voice; you said those words to me such that my soul was contented.”
“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be,” he repeated quietly. “I live by these words. I acknowledge the feelings and emotions, the pain and joy, that exist in me, that often loom before me. The negative ones will not simply vanish because I ignore them. Sometimes it is easy to face them. And sometimes it is so, so hard, Leila. So hard it feels impossible. But I try, still.”
“And your way of facing your emotions is the truth. I did as you suggested that night; the intense sorrow I felt was for a reason, for many reasons. And I just let all that sorrow unfold so I could face it. Your words were like a warm hug in the midst of my despair. Thank you.”
“You are always welcome,” he said, stroking my face. “Go on.”
“After that, I stayed out there all night. The storm never showed itself, but only grew louder. It’s like it rolled only for me. And it did, didn’t it?
I slept out there under the stars that night. Didn’t care about school. Didn’t care about anyone or anything. Your voice of peace washed away all my worries. So after that I just sang as the thunder peeled, and I did so all evening and into the night. I started singing to you specifically after that. Joyously. I broke out my best numbers,” I said. I covered my face, cracking up.
He laughed quietly. “Indeed; as I said, what I could discern was beautiful.”
I uncovered my face and smiled. “Thank you,” I said. I sighed, reaching my tale’s conclusion. “The next day I felt like I had come out of a deep meditation. Like the sorrow of yesterday did not exist. I had hoped to the Sun that your voice was the Answer to what troubled me. Then your voice stopped for a time. Until today.”

Chapter 9: Knowing
—
Suggested Listening:
Nicholas Brittel Agape
Required Listening ⭐️ Kwabs Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
⭐️ Raye Vela Like a Star Cover (Corinne Bailey Rae)
—
“Is your heart doing okay?” I asked.
“Yes. It is fine. I am tired, but alright.”
“Good,” I said. “I was wondering. Can you tell me another poem? And then we can go to sleep.”
Sasha looked at me. “About what?” he said, smoke drifting into my face.
“I don’t know. Tell me one about someone you love.”
“Hmm,” he nodded. “Let’s see.”
He pondered this, then an expression I can only describe as conflicted crept across his face.
“What?” I asked.
“There are few I love so dearly as this person.”
My eyes widened. “Who is it?”
Sasha’s brow furrowed. Then he frowned. At first a little, then deeply.
“What?” I asked gently.
Sasha shook his head. I saw pain now in his expression.
“You don’t have to,” I said, my own brow furrowing. “Please don’t. I can pick something else. Or, actually, we can just go to sleep right now.”
Sasha closed his eyes. Then nodded as if he had come to a decision.
“I will do this. This person I love more than my own self. I would die for him. However, it will not be pretty, this poem.”
I frowned too. “Okay,” I whispered.
“ Sharp Like the tip of a blade Blunt Like the pommel of the same sword Me Like the face of his face Him Like the reflection of my visage Swift Like the bird of prey’s flight Ruthless Like the killing of its hunt Dark Like the night without the moon Troubled Like the Dead River of the Void Alive Like his heart’s beating rhythm Dying Like the joy of his soul “
“Who is that about?” I asked, concerned. “You, ‘the face of his face.’ Your twin?”
“Yes. He is not well,” Sasha said.
“Why? What happened?”
Sasha turned away from me, shaking his head. “It is too heavy to speak of just now. In the future we will.”
“Okay, I get you,” I reassured him.
“Thank you. I worry about him everyday. I call him just as much. I would give my life for him. I owe it to him,” Sasha said fiercely. “He gave his and much more. Because of his strength we survived an ordeal too terrible to speak of.”
I thought back to when he said he felt as if he were dying. I hadn’t known he meant it literally. Then the words he had latched on to: mangled and twisted. A picture was forming. A bad one.
“Thank you for creating this poem. You didn’t have to put yourself through that pain for me,” I said guiltily. Sasha shook his head at me.
“It is okay. Perhaps it was good to express his personality in poetry. It hurts to be away from him in this place. He-“ Sasha stopped. He rubbed his mouth. “I hope he is well enough to come eventually.”
I wondered what he’d been about to say. But I did not press the issue.
“Me too. I’m so sorry you all are dealing with that kind of pain. For what it’s worth, I think the poem you made about him is beautiful. Your brother sounds like a strong Wingscale that’s really going through it right now. I hope whatever joy has been stolen from him—from his soul—renews from the ashes. Or maybe some new joy will settle there, burning brightly.”
“Like a Phoenix,” he smiled. “I will tell him what you said. You two would get along, I think.”
“I can’t wait to meet him then,” I said. I wondered what sort of person he was. Moreover, I found it incredibly interesting that Sasha had a twin considering I did as well. I would tell him that news sometime when he was not already overwhelmed.
“Why don’t you get some rest? You’ve had all kinds of heart attacks and poetry and seen fire wings and what have you,” I suggested.
Sasha chuckled. “Perhaps. I must escape from this. I do not think I have made so many beautiful words manifest as poetry as I have tonight. If I do not sleep I will continue.”
“Okay, right? I usually spend some serious time writing these things. But tonight it’s like my mouth is possessed by my own self.”
“What an apt way to describe it. I feel the same. I acknowledge that my manner of speech is skilled, but tonight it holds a level of eloquence that I did not know I possessed.”
I thought back to his oration, the first thing he recited of our lyrical night. I shivered. “Sasha, you can ‘Speak to me’ anytime. This soul is listening. Eloquence indeed.”
“I promise I will speak to you more oration. You are the only person I know who would enjoy such serious strings of words for your own enjoyment.”
“I have a taste for dignity,” I replied.
Sasha paused. “What more do you need of eloquence when your mouth creates it from nowhere?”
“You have the flavor I want.”
Sasha stared at me incredulously and shook his head. “I am done with you again. You talk me into a trap at every turn.”
I cackled at him. “Alright, alright. It’s time for you go to sleep.”
“Very well,” he said, laughing gently.
I held him closer, although it was impossible. His wing came down over me like a shroud of protection. We held on to each other in silence, not needing anything to fill the space. I just breathed him. Smoke. Fire. Silence. Warmth. Breath. Growl. They spoke enough.
After a while of just laying there in peacefulness, he fell asleep. I could feel the regular inhalations and exhalations marked by the shudder of his chest. And he was a heavy sleeper. Or he was exhausted. Both probably. His flames were still wild even in slumber. Small flickers and tendrils of fire peeked every so often from his mouth. A deep growl emanated from his chest and throat at every exhalation. I stroked Sasha’s face as he slept, the heat of his fire on my hand, and he didn’t move an inch.
I watched him for a while until it occurred to me to write out all the words we had recited to each other. I turned over and reached past his wing to grab my phone from the nightstand. The glow from my screen was strange, it’s blueness cutting through the smoky red in my vision. I sat back and typed every amazing thing we had said.
Those collections of words we had stitched together from nothing just floored me. I had never made poetry like what I did that night. Such passion and beauty.
I looked at Sasha again, thinking about the words that had entranced me from his mouth.
‘Speak to me.’
‘Speak to me.’
The phrase kept ringing out in my chest. He was right. It was a rare thing to find someone who would hang on to your every word with the utmost attention. With actual interest, engagement. I wanted to speak to him forever, about anything. And he would listen. I would listen to him.
I closed my eyes and shook my head at such strong thoughts about a stranger. I thought of all the ‘normal’ people I had dated in the past. The relationships had all gone ‘normally’: date, texting, talking into the night, more dates, sex, dates. Accusations, breakups, crying. Getting over it. Normal stuff.
This was not normal, not in the slightest. Never in all my life had I behaved the way I did under that tree. I was still wondering who that was. Who was the Leila that kissed that way, that straddled dragons in broad daylight? That made love without a first date at all and then swore a stranger to an oath of binding, a whole relationship? That spoke poetry at him from her breath like it was my own fire?
Apparently I was her. It frightened me, the speed with which she and I had moved in one evening. And yet it all felt perfectly normal, inevitable.
Of course I had known when Sasha arrived there was something special about him, no matter how I tried to pretend everything was normal. why was I pretending?
That very first day, when I saw him walk into my morning class, I wasn’t paying attention when he said who he was. I had looked up and locked eyes with him. We held each others gaze for a beat longer than necessary.
Every damn class that day, and the following, I missed him announce his name. It was like a comedy sketch. The writing class we shared was the only one I was paying close attention to, and the professor had written his name on the board of course. It was infuriating.
I watched him like a hawk after he arrived that week. In all that time he didn’t speak around me. And I never spoke to him. Why hadn’t I? What had stopped me?
Just like he said, we just kept Circling each other, but never allowed ourselves to meet at the center of our orbit. He felt the same way. He had said he wanted to speak with me as well but for some reason he didn’t.
It was like a force was beckoning us to each other. To finally meet at the center of a Circle.
This day had been the first time I heard his voice at all. If I had heard it earlier, I would have been completely undone. I would not have let him walk away from me so many times.
I stared at his sleeping form, and a thought came to me again. He avoided speaking around me on purpose. Talking to me. He had known that getting close to me might start something, but had he know it would be his voice that caused such a domino effect? Then again, he knew far more than I did about Callings. Frequencies.
I balked at that word. It was so clumsy, so empty to how it felt. We shared vibes. My soul vibrated on the same wavelength as his body. Our mouths breathed the same breath. Our hearts beat the same.
Sameness. Oneness. Vibes.
He knew something would happen to his body if he let us get too close to each other. I was what he thought I was, and he had failed to prevent that change in us. But he didn’t know anything of how these changes would manifest.
It had happened so fast that he was alarmed to see me standing there in class. As soon as I greeted him, the very second he said ‘hi,’ that curious sound beneath his voice started. The thought that he was so helpless at that moment saddened me the same way it did him when he revealed the permanence of Calling. He never stood a chance. I kissed my hand and continued to stroke his face with that kiss.
And then the wings. The dreams and visions. Those two otherworldly beings… What were we? Were we gods or something? Were we reincarnated versions of them? Possessed? Were they using us? What did any of this mean? I did not know.
I tried to be more upset about this breech on our lives that sent us careening down a path we didn’t ask for. But looking at that red dragon, how could I? Our first contact was so lovely. The way we had spoken to each other in class was sweet. Neither of us could keep a smile off our faces. Laughing and carrying on, a perfect match of good humor.
I stared at him trying to conjure up feelings of grief, apprehension, fear, irritation or anything negative at all, and I came up with nothing.
I sighed. I could tell that in that other life, in that place of lakes of fire and expanses of the cosmos, that we were really something special. Something strong. Something beautiful. I was not alarmed at our sudden connection, the strength of it, the passion of it.
But if we broke apart from one another in the future—everything in me said no—that alarmed me. The coldness. The despair. The threat of death at an incomplete attunement. At a great falling away into a chasm. It was horrifying that Sasha could literally die from us being separated. It was unfair.
I would never let that happen. How horrible a thought. Not after this Calling had fallen upon him and surprises kept rearing their heads.
I was done writing our poems and, subsequently, my musings. I put my phone back where it belonged. My head was still swirling with all those thoughts, but I shut my eyes and tried to shut down my mind.
I held Sasha again. Even in his sleep he put his arms back around me. It made me smile to be enveloped in his warmth.
Eventually I drifted off to sleep as well.

I don’t know how long I had been asleep when I felt Sasha’s heartbeat pick up enough to wake me. It was the time where night lingers in the earliest of hours. Nothing but the soft murmur of calling insects and wind outside.
I groaned and looked up into Sasha’s face, but he was still sleeping.
“What is it?” I asked, groggy.
“Please,” he slurred.
“Please what?” I whispered, more alert.
He mumbled something more in his sleep. “Make it stop,” he whispered. “Please,” he pleaded. “…the shore...”
I put my hands over my mouth. I didn’t know what he could be dreaming about. It occurred to me that all that talk of pain and wounds might have stemmed from ptsd or something like that. He was in the military after all.
I let him be just in case that’s what it was. I did not want to add additional stress or confusion to a ptsd dream.
Eventually Sasha stirred of his own accord. He opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. I waited until he seemed to be all there with me.
“Hey, you alright?” I didn’t mention his sleep talking.
He didn’t say a word for a moment, just rubbed his eyebrows. Then he patted my back. I let go of him so he could sit up.
He removed his wing from around me, groaning.
“What is it?” I inquired.
Sasha rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at me. “I heard your Calling…” he whispered tiredly in wonder, so low I almost didn’t hear him. “It was soft and quiet, almost imperceptible. But I heard it, still, in my sleep…”
My eyes widened, my heart pounding as well. I sat up. “Really?” I whispered back. “What is it like?”
He moved his head to the side, still listening. “Soft waves. A wind chime. A whisper of song. I have heard it before. That is why I awoke,” he said.
“Really?” I asked. My Calling sounded peaceful like being at the beach. Of course, my favorite place. Interesting. I sleepily folded my arms under my head.
“It is very faint.” Sasha closed his eyes. “I know when I heard it.”
“When was that?” I asked.
“You are sleepy still. We can speak of it later.”
I waved him off. “We are awake now. I have no doubt when we say we’ll sleep again it will be no trouble. I fell to sleep easily and so did you.”
Sasha chuckled to himself. “Very well, Leila.” He leaned his back, head against the headboard. His eyes stayed closed.
“I was sitting with my brother, Pasha, upon a stone wall at the beach. It was the evening before I came to this place. I was unsure if I had made the right decision to go with my father. To leave Pasha behind. I had wanted to throw myself into my work to forget the ordeal we had both gone through. But Pasha told me I needed something new, and that whatever it was lie across the ocean waiting for me. Something fulfilling. He said that, surely, wallowing in guilt, in anger and sadness, would not help me heal my wounds although he was dealing with wounds of his own.”
I wondered what wounds he meant. I had seen the scars on his wings. More pain. More scars. Mangled and twisted. He had died and would do so again. Moreover, he had muttered something about the shore. And here it appeared in his story. What had happened to him?
As if sensing my questions, he inhaled deeply.
“I will tell you of the things that transpired eventually. It was… horrible. It is still too raw for me. I apologize for these strange disjointed hints of pain, of suffering.”
“No, no. It’s okay. We will discuss it all later,” I said appreciatively. “Go on.”
“Hmm. Even after Pasha’s encouragement, I still felt apprehension about traveling to this land. All at once, I heard a woman singing on the beach, yet I saw no one.
I heard the sound of wildly swaying wind chimes, of rain, of whipping winds, but there were nothing anywhere to make such sounds.
My brother thought I was crazy. But that voice stirred my spirit as I stared out at that dark water. It was mournful, like a siren in a tempest whose heart had been broken to pieces.
At one point, she whispered a barely discernible plea: ‘Someone, just please help me.’ ‘I can’t do this.’”
I gasped in alarm, my heart hammering away so hard I thought I would have a heart attack. I knew at once the woman was me. It was me who had been pleading in turmoil, with those precise words, wanting someone to swoop down and save me. By the Goddess…
Sasha continued his tale, perhaps not noticing my change in demeanor. “I didn’t know where she was, or what it was she did not want to do, but I told my brother to give me a moment.
I stood and walked along the shore, looking for someone in need, for anything strange. I never found any such woman. I spoke a word of peace to her, whoever she was, wherever she was.”
At the same time, we both said:“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be.”
Sasha stopped. He opened his eyes and stared at me in awe. “You heard those words?”
I nodded, heart still pounding. Which of us was having these heart troubles? Him or me?
Sasha shook his head, rubbing his face. “Madness. But truly amazing nonetheless,” he said quietly.
“Yeah…” I responded. I didn’t know what else to say.
“It was you,” he said, not asked.
“I suppose so…”
Sasha continued.
“I returned to my brother to conclude our talk. I told him I wanted to stay a while, and he stayed with me. The song turned into something sweeter after a time. I went looking yet again but never found you. Of course I could not. You were nowhere near me.
Eventually we left. Pasha and I parted ways, and I returned to my home.
No matter what I did, I could not shake your voice from my mind that evening. It sent shivers down my spine. So I returned to the beach. There was nothing else for it; I would have remained awake all night agonizing over my travels the next day anyway. Why not do so surrounded by such mystical music?
I went to a quiet place, book and blanket in hand. The water was complete still, yet the sound of waves was everywhere. Intangible, lapping against the shore.”
I recalled when I had mentioned sitting at the beach watching waves lapping on the shore. He had paused then, as we stood in his living room, thinking of something. I now knew he had recalled this event and wondered at the similarities.
“The sunset was vibrant, strangely so. It was stunning, like a painting. No one else seemed to find the sight of note but me.
You were singing, but again in sorrow. I stayed out there, reading a book and meditating, until others went away from the beach. Until only I remained. Your faint song, the softest whispers of singing, became sweet again. So much singing, you did. By the gods so much singing. It was like a quiet concert.”
I covered my face. “I’m glad you caught them,” I said, laughing.
“There was only one song I caught well enough to hear the words. You sang it over and over. I did not sleep until you uttered nothing more, your voice fading away. I felt empty at the silence, but content in that, perhaps, my presence had calmed this siren, that perhaps her broken heart had somewhat mended. Unfortunately for me; the absence of your songs caused a melancholy to settle in my spirit. A longing. I came here looking for your voice. I questioned your love of voices because it shocked me, the similarities we continue to share.”
“Hmmm,” I vocalized, not unlike he so often did.
Sasha regarded me, shaking his head in wonder. “Repeating that event back, it is obvious that this woman was you. At the time, back when it happened, I regarded it as a very strange occurrence or perhaps my descent into madness,” he said.
“You most certainly are not mad,” I said.
“Indeed. I know very well at this point that your experience across the ocean happened at that time. You knew my words.”
“I remember them well. Just like a lot of things so far, we have these experiences, the aspects of ourselves that are too similar to be a coincidence. We are like mirrors.”
“Only one of us is larger.”
“Sasha!” I exclaimed.
He laughed at me, hugging me. Then he lay down onto the bed again.
“Speak to me of that same evening,” he said.
I sat up slightly, leaning on my elbow, looking into his eyes.
“I was at the beach too. Certainly the same night, the same week you appeared at school. I have this one particular spot on the beach where no one goes but me. I would make myself a wood fire and look at the smoke swirl into tendrils, embers scattering to the wind. I would sit there to watch storms roll in the distance, writing poetry or doing homework or what have you.”
Sasha nodded, acknowledging the picture I painted was the same as his Call. I nudged him, making him smile.
“But that day? I was having an awful time. Every year I dreaded the same thing, but I always escaped. This time, there was no more running. I was cornered, trapped. And the choice was before me. I stared across the ocean and cried. I said it as you heard. ‘I can’t do this. Please help me.’ I just wanted someone to get me out of that situation, but I wasn’t willing to ask for it again. I was so tired of disappointment.
So I’m sitting there in front of these hypnotic flames singing to myself, trying to shake off those bad spirits. Couldn’t even write a poem about my own despair.”
“Impossible. I refuse to believe such nonsense,” he said, chuckling.
“Shocking, I know,” I agreed, smiling. “That’s when I heard a thunderstorm on the horizon. At least there was that, I thought. My greatest comfort to cheer me.
I’m listening to that distant storm, but there were no clouds, no darkness, no strike of lightning. It puzzled me.
But the sky. Oh Sasha, that was the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen. The same wonderful night sky you saw. It was brighter than normal, like fire and roses and gold melding with the sea. I have never seen a more beautiful place for the Goddess to drift into slumber.
I stood up and looked around. Further down the beach people were still going into the water, chatting, lazing about, like nothing was happening. Like this gorgeous sky and this distant storm did not exist.
Then I heard this voice. It was faint. Super faint. But so deep—“ I patted his chest, now knowing it was him. “Your voice; you said those words to me such that my soul was contented.”
“Calm your spirit and be at peace. Whatever you feel, just let it exist. Let it be,” he repeated quietly. “I live by these words. I acknowledge the feelings and emotions, the pain and joy, that exist in me, that often loom before me. The negative ones will not simply vanish because I ignore them. Sometimes it is easy to face them. And sometimes it is so, so hard, Leila. So hard it feels impossible. But I try, still.”
“And your way of facing your emotions is the truth. I did as you suggested that night; the intense sorrow I felt was for a reason, for many reasons. And I just let all that sorrow unfold so I could face it. Your words were like a warm hug in the midst of my despair. Thank you.”
“You are always welcome,” he said, stroking my face. “Go on.”
“After that, I stayed out there all night. The storm never showed itself, but only grew louder. It’s like it rolled only for me. And it did, didn’t it?
I slept out there under the stars that night. Didn’t care about school. Didn’t care about anyone or anything. Your voice of peace washed away all my worries. So after that I just sang as the thunder peeled, and I did so all evening and into the night. I started singing to you specifically after that. Joyously. I broke out my best numbers,” I said. I covered my face, cracking up.
He laughed quietly. “Indeed; as I said, what I could discern was beautiful.”
I uncovered my face and smiled. “Thank you,” I said. I sighed, reaching my tale’s conclusion. “The next day I felt like I had come out of a deep meditation. Like the sorrow of yesterday did not exist. I had hoped to the Sun that your voice was the Answer to what troubled me. Then your voice stopped for a time. Until today.”

So I was inspired by YT video of all female run a bit ago. It's pretty well edited so it's worth a watch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwyEzur6Rwo
I wanted to try the opposite, an all male run. I a bit of discussion a few weeks ago on this board, mostly about potential concerns. I didn't see anyone report back on how it went, so I'm chiming in here. About how it went.
Overall, it was a really modest challenge. I did I didn't feel like adding a whole bunch of side rules, aside from no cat ears or trinity rain. It's still fairly easy, because you still get you get Alain, Gilbert and Great Knights.
The big limitation "all men" presents is limited healing. You start out and Josef is your only healer. Scarlet, Priests, and Radiant Kngihts are women. For the most part, I didn't find really the lack of healer too challenging. One of my early MVP troops was a hoplite and 2 soldiers. They didn't do a whole lot of damage, but they could set up another unit for a first strike while taking no damage themself. I also made a lot of use of evade tank units... I love me some thiefs and swordmasters. Combine that with occassional heal items and Josef's valor heal and I was good until level 15 or so.
Fortunately, this is when you can get elven archers. The mission recruiting Lhinalagos (and unlocking generic elven archers) was actually one of the hardest of the run. Because it's a defensive mission, the lack of healing really started to stand out. If someone died, I didn't really have time to let them rest a tick on the command post. I ended up restarting it a few times, mostly adjusting how I took out the archer towers. The loss of Smoke Bolt is almost as big a hurdle as the lack of healers.
Fortunately, once that mission is over, the healing woes are pretty much gone. You'll want to give archers an accessory the grants "Quick Heal" and a Lapis Pendant. Scarlet's Ribbon can be worn by elven archers, and you can also buy 2 Holy Miters in Elheim. Set both "Quick Heal" and "Restore" to [Own PP >=2]. Have another character in that unit equipped with a first aid kit, set to target Elven. This will proc "Selfless heal". And just for extra measure, I recommend making Lhinalagos the waifu. +MAG/PHYS and +1PP. Can't ask for more for our healing sniper dealing hybrid damage.
With healing acquired, it was a pretty straight forward clear. Elf Sisters and Berengaria definitely would have made things a lot easier, and I missed flying, but ultimately removing all the women still leaves you with plenty alternative options.
Here's my final groups. The name in brackets means this is the 5th party member added to a long standing 4man team. I'll also mention some key gear.
1) Heavy Cavalry
Renault (Angel Plume), Clive, Glouchester (White Shield for Lifeshare)
Male Soldier, [Elven Archer]
2) Alain & Co
Alain, [Jeremy]
Lhinalagos, Auch, Aubin (ice conferral on Aubin, who just uses Rolling Axe)
3) Heavy Tanking
[Gilbert], Hoplite
Magellan, Male Sellsword, Elven Archer
4)Glass Cannons
Travis, [Aramis]
Rolf, Generic Archer, Generic Breaker (Gambler's Coin, Targeting Archers)
5) Evade Tank #2
Male Swordmaster
Wizard, Lex (Virginia's Shield), Male Soldier
6) Josef's Unit
Hoplite, Sellsword
Josef, Morden, [Generic Spellstave]
7) Heavy Cavalry 2
Adel, Generic Great Knight (Sniper's Amber Lens + Silver Trident), Generic Doom Knight (Squire's Shield)
Morard (Large Aid Kit)
Groups 3 and 4 were the real workhorses of the run. Pretty much any encounter could be wiped by one or the other. Alain's group was always right behind one of them... mostly because I didn't Alain to get all the kills himself, because he was nearly indestructible. I thought Josef would come in clutch as one of our limited healers, but if anything, I got more use from his Resist Magic Assist ability. I'd have him run up and bonk a unit that was in front of a mage tower, then have Renault's unit run around and kill the actual mage.

Planning on making game day food unique to our opponents. This is my list so far, do you have any other recommendations or alternatives?
Los Angeles Rams – Street Tacos
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Cuban Sandwich
Arizona Cardinals – Chimichangas
Seattle Seahawks – Hot Dog with cream cheese and grilled onions or Pho
Dallas Cowboys - Chili con carne
Minnesota Vikings – Juicy Lucy Stuffed burgers
Tennessee Titans – Nashville Hot Chicken
Green Bay Packers - Poutine (Canadian but uses the cheese curds) FTP
Houston Texans – Smoked Brisket
Jacksonville Jaguars – Camel Rider Sandwich
Indianapolis Colts – Pork Tenderloin Sandwich
Chicago Bears - TURKEY
Green Bay Packers - Booyah
Buffalo Bills - Wings
Chicago Bears – Chicago Dogs
San Francisco 49ers – Mission Burrito
Minnesota Vikings – Tater Tot Hot Dish