Hi all,
Writing here to seek advice and support.
About a year ago, my husband came to the realization of the abusive and toxic relationship with his mom. Apparently he always knew but somehow he didn't want to face it.
After some thought and with the help of his therapist, he decided to go nc with his mom. A second after, all the relatives from that side came to shame him for being a horrible person and leaving his mom by herself. Nmom made it always very clear she expected my husband to stay with her and take care of her until the end.
A few months have passed since he went nc and now nmom is escalating the shaming. She reached out to my husband's friends and basically shared a sobbing story of her life and how horrible my husband is. The cherry on top, nmom went to my dad (only have a dad as my mom passed away) to shame my husband too. My father loves my husband and basically just received and deleted the text message from nmom.
I know all of this is very stressing for my husband and I feel sad for that. I wish he could have had a nicer mom and a nicer family. I don't know to best support him through all of this. I wish I could just fix up everything but I can't and I really don't know what to do to make it easier for him. So I'm here asking for advice on how to be supportive of this and how to keep moving forward.
Many thanks for your support

Hey all, I've been reading this group for the last couple of months. I had a terrible credit score (560) and have been trying to improve it. I tried many tips from here to improve my credit and saw marginal increases (+50ish points), but I found a better solution I'd like to share. My credit score jumped an average of 210 points in two months (I am a 770 between all three bureaus) and I didn't pay a dime to have anyone do it. Late payments have been removed, and collections have been dropped. All I've done is sent letters to collection agencies and the credit bureaus threatening a lawsuit if they fail to drop collections against my credit / late payments that I deem inaccurate or insufficient to report. How did I do it? I literally go into Chat GPT and write prompts like this "Write me a demand letter to \****** [collection agency] demanding that they immediately remove a collection for xxx from my credit report." I add "Be aggressive in the letter and note that I will move forward with a lawsuit if not corrected." Sometimes, I will add details too, like "Note that I recently closed ****** account and was in good standing" or "I have not been provided sufficient evidence, I do not recall this debt, or the evidence provided is insufficient under federal law." I also told the chatgpt, "Tell them that I refuse to receive any contact attempting to collect the debt and will view it as a violation of federal law."* I add "Say I'm only willing to accept written communication regarding the [collection agency] confirming they have removed this from my credit report." I also tell chatgpt to say, "if I do not receive a response by \***** confirming this has been removed from my credit, I will move forward with a lawsuit." *What happens:** ChatGPT spits out a legally intimidating letter that says to provide me with concrete proof, or I will sue if they fail to remove me from my credit report. It also demands a response in writing within 30 days. I also Cc various federal agencies at the bottom, and it works. What I do after I get the ChatGPT letter: Once I get the response from Chatgpt, I take the demand letter it spits out, read it (make adjustments if I need to), put it in word or pages, change the text to courier font (the legal lettering), and send it off. I also use my printer to print the creditors name on the envelope (in courier legal font) so it looks more intimidating. I add "Time-Sensitive" in bold on the top left the envelope too. Here are the results after 60 days: (I started in February and wanted to wait a little before posting everything). All amounts are in estimates just to keep it as anonymous as possible. - $6,000 (estimate) debt with a debt buyer---- 5 years old---Removed, and provided a letter letting it go. - $1,000 (estimate) debt from another debt buyer -- 15 months old-- Removed (no letter provided, just off my credit). I have sent another demanding letter giving them 15 days to confirm in writing they are removing it (will update when I get a response). - $1,700 (estimate) from a collection agency -- Sent me a letter with "verification." I sent a letter saying it wasn't sufficient; they sent a letter back with a contract signed by me and said the creditor adjusted the collection to $450. From that point, I called and said I found the debt wrong, but I settled it for $300 as a pay-to-delete. - $640 (estimate) debt from a collection agency -- Removed and provided a letter letting it go. - $1,300 (estimate) debt collection agency-- Removed and provided a letter letting it go - Six late car payments to USAA Financial were updated to paid on time (payments were late from November 2023 to some in 2022). I had a 90-day late payment taken off. For these, I sent my disputes directly to Experian, Equifax, and Transunion ( I did not send a letter to USAA Financial because they would have concrete records of when payments were made). Some important notes: - Make sure your prompt is aggressive. You might need to tweak it a couple times by telling chatgpt to be more mean (ha ha). - Make sure you tell ChatGPT to demand responses in writing that it's off your credit report. I didn't want them to try to re-add it later or sell it to another agency. By demanding it in writing, I put them at risk if they sell it off because my letters note that I will sue them if they try to offload it to another credit company because it's a wrongful debt. - You also need to read what it writes; it will make small mistakes here and there (sometimes it will put things in plural) My situation: I was an idiot until recently and could care less about my credit. This method cleared my credit and approved me for a new car lease (I needed a $1,500-$2,000 car lease payment to write off because of tax reasons). I recently got a new 2024 S 580 hybrid (Mercedes) and the Mercedes dealer didn't flinch about my credit on a $148,000 car (was approved by Mercedes Benz financial). I'm in my early 30s and self-employed. I make roughly $230,000 a year. Some may ask why I don't just pay it off based on income -- Owe roughly $85k and take care of my parents. A piece of advice: DO NOT PAY ANYONE TO HELP YOU. YOU CAN DO THIS YOURSELF. YOU JUST NEED TO PUT SOME TIME INTO IT. Good luck.

the sweetest person ever commented on my last post and gave me some really nice advice, i eventually took it and told him everything, im not gonna give any context here because im lazy but it was hard for awhile and eventually worked out, he accepts me and still loves me as long as i dont transition!
even now that things are good with him, the depression and suicidal thoughts and allat arent getting any better, theyre actually getting worse. ive been having really extreme mood swings more often and more intensely, without him i cant even get out of bed or move around, ive barely done any of my schoolwork thats all due by july, and i still very much hate myself!
i pinky promised him i wouldnt leave him, that means no killing myself. i love him so much and i take pinky promises really seriously but i dont know why i did that, i hate it and i want to end everything but i know that im the only thing keeping him here, i guess that why i promised. but frick man :(
i dont know how long i can last, i dont have any sort of future im so incredibly stupid and lazy and i always self sabotage, how am i supposed to get a job or go to college one day? im 14 and ive already tried to kill myself multiple times, hows it gonna feel to be 18 one day???
i just dont know what to do. i dont know if i want advice or if i just want to write this down or something but i dont think any advice will help this time.
im on medication, citalopram, that ive been on for a few months now since my last hospitalization and ive been begging my mum not to make me take it. i know she cant MAKE me but me refusing dtressed her out and i dont want to hurt her anymore i just cant take it. the feeling of taking them just disgusts me and reminds me of my attempt, they make me scared that its gonna control me and then im reminded everytime im happy that its not just me, i have stupid medication in me.
i just dont know what to do. i cant avoid school forever, i dont think i have any sort of future, im genuinely just hopeless. i really wish he fell in love with someone else who was more stable, not me, hes the sweetest boy in the world and he doesnt deserve to have to always deal with me.
last night i got sad because we didnt have one of the ingredients to make a shirley temple at 1 in the morning and started crying, i got all dry and sad and i almost ruined his night. why the hell am i like this.
ive been asking my parents and doctors to test me for adhd, austism and bpd but they wont. i hate it. autism because of my anxiety, bpd because im 14 even though i know that they technically can test me, and adhd for whatever reason, they just wont. i want to kill them all. i dont understand why they cant just get me some tests and let me know whats wrong with me.
my dad too, i want to kill him. i hate him. he ruins everything. awhile ago he (52?) got mad at my brother (19) and my mom (42?) was scared so i went out and he took off his hoodie and started going towards my brother aggressively so i got inbetween them and started SCREAMING at my dad that if he touches my brother ill kill him. now, like everytime, weve just been acting like nothing ever happened. why cant he aknowledge it and kill himself or something, i hate him. he refuses to stop drinking even when its ruining all of us and then he blames me for being young and "selfish" and "ruining all of their lives" i hste him
i got a little emotional writing this so my bad, idek if anyones reading this but if you are have a great day and remember to eat (youre perfect, i pinky promise) and remember to drink some water and dont drink or smoke too much please and remind someone that you love them and just take care of yourself! bye bye, sorry!!

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.

1. The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.
   
2. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.
   
3. Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.
   

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent. I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff. My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an enpowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…

My mom is a raging narcissist and has mentally and emotionally abused my father for over 20 years. Recently he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder, still trying to find out what it is exactly, but it is impacting his life pretty badly as well as her abuse to him. He is a very independent man and being that he can’t go anywhere or drive has made him depressed. My mother and I do not have a relationship, because I am the only one to stand up to her and tell her she is toxic and her behavior is harming her children and everyone around her. He doesn’t like that as you can imagine. She told me sister about my fathers attempt and told her not to tell me, however, being that my sister loves me she made sure to go against her word and tell me because this is serious and major. My father can not speak to me or it will make my mother go off the walls on him and right now he does not need that so he’s not said anything. My sister went up to their house this weekend, and I had to stay back. She told me to write him a letter and she would give it to him so I did. I felt like I was writing a letter trying to convince someone of their life. Tonight I am making his chilli recipe, as I sit here with a warm bowl of chili and tears, I feel like this is the closest I can get to him and it’s breaking me. Does anyone have any advice on how I can feel better about this situation? I don’t even know how to process it. I am considering talking to a therapist about this.

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.

1. The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.
   
2. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.
   
3. Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.
   

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent. I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff. My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an enpowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.
2.The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.

1. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.

4.Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent. I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff. My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an empowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…

Hello, everyone. I’m posting here as I’m becoming desperate to find help or some answers.
I’m a 27 year old male. Toward the end of last year, I began having severe issues with the vision in my right eye that led to a traumatic cataract diagnosis. Around 15 years ago, I was shot in the right eye with a BB gun.
In January of this year, I called the University Hospital regarding the loss of vision and pain in my right eye. I was rushed in, as pain is a big concern and they wanted to make sure everything was okay. I was told I have a cataract and scheduled an appointment with a surgeon for the removal. When I asked about the pain, they told me that cataracts do not cause pain, but it may be what the cause is.
Over the course of the next 3 months, I went through phases of pain in my eye. One night, It was severe enough for me to visit the ER, from which I wasn’t given any real help. I was also incredibly sick with influenza B and congested, which seemed to make the pain even worse.
I was given an MRI and went through several different tests. Ended up getting home around 2am. Around 6am I noticed 5 missed calls from the hospital, asking me to come in right away as they may have seen something on the MRI and need more imaging.
After the additional imaging, I was told nothing seemed to be wrong, and they were at a loss in finding the cause. At one point, the ER doctor said chicken pox may be a possibility (I don’t know why). Then they told me it’s just neurological.
I spent the next few months with the pain coming and going, up to my following surgery appointments. When I brought it up to my surgeon, he didn’t know what could cause the issue either. He mentioned the cataract was so old, it had become soft.
The surgeon then explained to me the procedure, risks and benefits. I was told that I may or may not need glasses after the surgery, which I was fine with. I was told they’re standard procedures, simple and short recovery periods. I agreed and the surgery was scheduled.
Fast forward to the day after my surgery, and I begin to notice the difference in clarity of my vision. It was honestly crazy how clear my far sight vision was, but very disappointing how little I could see close up. I’m now unable to read my phone or see any detail closer than 5-7 feet away, but I was told glasses will correct the issue. No problem, I thought.
This is where my problems really begin. At night, I started noticing these incredibly intense visuals from light sources. So intense, I wasn’t able to go outside at night, or be in a dimly lit room for weeks. I am 1 month past my surgery and I am still unable to drive in the dark and struggle immensely with sitting anywhere dark with acute light sources. The best way to describe the visuals are halos, but not just like glowing street lights, I’m talking about psychedelic looking, hallucination type halos. They disappear when the light source is covered, and move in all directions, side to side and back and forth.
The best way to describe them is that they are perfectly circular and very sharply defined. Sometimes, there will be a slight ray type effect inside of them. They are present around every light source in a dark space. On the street, sometimes it’s so bad that there are dozens and dozens layered on top of each other. For weeks, I could literally feel my pupil swelling and sort of “popping”, as it adjusted to the lights. Immediately after, it would begin adjusting again, and the halos would come back. The lights go away when very bright light sources become present (like incoming headlights) or when equally disbursed. Better nights make the halos become more blurry, less defined outside of the circle.
I’ve tried to design this image to explain what I’m seeing to my doctor and others. I’ve also included a picture of how my right pupil looks in most dimmer lit, inside spaces:
https://imgur.com/a/o7vxpo3
Furthermore, I am experiencing a shadow casted around the outside of my vision in my right eye. Feels almost as if I’m looking through a tube, and seems that I have lost a fair amount of my peripheral vision. Some new floaters and flashes of light starting appearing around week 3, but not as drastic as it was with the cataract. I’m used to floaters in both eyes.
I showed this image to my surgeon and tried explaining the problem. He really didn’t seem to understand what the problem was, saying the eye looked good and halos are common. But I never knew that it would be so debilitating. He was at a loss, and mentioned that if my pupil is over dialating, it may be extending beyond my IOL, causing this issues. He’s been doing cataract surgeries for 2 years now. He also kept saying “well typically patients are older…” and then continued to explain protocol and experiences with older patients, not really considering my case individually, or offering to refer me to someone else.
At my post 1 month checkup, I asked him if there are different sizes that should have been used, only for him to say “well most IOLs are a certain size, but some are slightly bigger.” And then explained that my pupil dilating past the lens, causing the visuals. This makes sense to me, as the visuals do seem almost “prism” like. I was also told the lens was acrylic, and not as perfect as the normal lens, but I’m pretty sure there are different lens material types.
This confused me. It still does. I told him about my pupil being larger than the other before my surgery, and he saw it as well. Was this not a considering factor in my lens choice?
Additionally, I told this surgeon that back in 2013, I was diagnosed with optic nerve swelling, but he said that he had no idea what that was regarding and simply disregarded the diagnosis.
I’ve spent weeks trying to research the subject, but honestly, it’s causing me to become severely depressed and frustrated. I feel that my concerns have been totally disregarded, as I was told to wait another 3 months for my next appointment. I actually had to suggest treatment I read online with eye drops that cause the pupil to stay smaller. He agreed after my suggestion and said he would prescribe me these.
Unfortunately, they have not submitted the medication to my insurance for the past week, so I haven’t been able to try it. I hope it helps.
I really could use some help or advice. I’m writing this in the middle of the night and once again suffering from a headache from my eye issues. These visuals have not gotten any better since the night of surgery. Recently, they just go away, and some nights are better than other. Sometimes, artificial tears seem to help and other times they don’t. Sometimes losing the tension in my neck helps, sometimes moving my head down makes it worse.
I was also severely congested a few nights ago, and the halos were terrible. Decongestant spray seemed to make them totally disappear. I was told in the past I have a deviated septum, and on my right side I believe (not sure if they can be correlated)
If anyone’s has a suggestion as to what type of doctor may be able to help, or what I should expect my recovery to be like, I would be very grateful. I’m starting to feel hopeless and that people don’t believe or recognize the struggle I’m having.
At this point, I feel like I may have permanently messed up by opting in for this surgery, and I’m afraid I’ll never be able to drive or do things at night again. I understand that the damage the accident caused in my eye may be repairable, and that I probably will just need to adjust to new vision, but I really don’t think I can live with the issues I’ve been having at night. I feel as though I may never get to watch movies in theaters or watch events in dark spaces without severe visuals and head pain.
Let me know if there’s any additional info I can provide to help. On Monday, I am going to try to have my primary care provider help recommend me to someone else (insurance requires this for a second opinion).
Thank you for your time and help.

Hello, Idris here from indieniche. This week I want to share a summarised version of my interview with Daniel Nguyen, A Product Engineer generating $10k/month building AI apps
You can find the full case study here

Q: Hello! Who are you and what product are you working on currently?

I'm Daniel Nguyen. I'm an entrepreneur based in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I've been building multiple products: KTool, BoltAI, PDF Pals

Q: What is your backstory and how did you come up with your idea? Do you have any partners?

I've been a product engineer for more than 12 years. Then one day, I discovered Indie Hacking and found it fascinating. I quit my cushy job to start building in public.
I decided to learn more about generative AI & OpenAI API and hopefully find a good freelance gig. I did land a couple of interesting gigs, but what is more interesting is I found a new product idea: BoltAI - a better way to use OpenAI & other AI services on macOS. I started it purely to learn more about SwiftUI development & OpenAI app development (the so-called "AI wrapper"). It's now my top revenue-generating product.
While building BoltAI, one customer asked about the ability to chat with PDF natively on Mac (another "AI wrapper" idea). I found it interesting and so I decided to build it. PDF Pals recently reached 700 paid customers (about 23% of my total revenue in 2023) And finally, I built ShotSolve as a lead magnet for BoltAI (engineering as marketing, or side project marketing). It was welcomed by many Mac users and so far, has brought 1500 visitors to BoltAI.

Q: Take us through the process of building the first version of your product MVP.

When I started, I didn’t expect BoltAI to be commercially viable. It comes from my pet peeve of switching back and forth between ChatGPT web UI and native Mac apps like Xcode or Apple Notes. Unlike VSCode, there is no Copilot for XCode and I have the habit of writing blog posts in Apple Notes so I figured I need a tool to invoke ChatGPT right within these apps. So I decided to build the MVP in a weekend. The app was ugly but I managed to ship it anyway.

Q: How did you get your first customers for your product (Free or paid users)

I tweeted about it, and posted it to multiple communities asking for feedback: IndieHacker, Reddit, WIP… It went semi-viral and early adopters started to use the app. I got valuable feedback and improved the product accordingly. Some of them converted to paid customers.

Q: Since you launched your product, What has worked to attract customers

Doubling down on what works mostly. That's social media (X/Reddit), email newsletters, and paid ads.

Q: How is your product performing currently, and what are your plans for the future? Can you share your current metrics and revenue figures?

BoltAI is doing great. I plan to support business customers better, and will kind of "pivot" into B2B. Currently, most customers of BoltAI are prosumers: freelancers, developers, or content writers. I believe it would be much better if I could sell directly to businesses.
Read the full case study here
We put several hours into this research and it covers mostly all aspects:

• How he got his ideas to build his AI apps
• How he built his first MVP
• Tools that have helped him grow his products
• Books and podcasts that have been impactful to him
• Advice for other founders starting out to build their apps

This story inspired me a lot, I love growth and building profitable businesses, so I hope you will feel the same energy from it! If you find this a lot useful , Let’s connect togetherto read more when I interview founders like this

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.
2.The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.

1. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.

4.Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent. I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff. My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an empowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…

Kevin Kelly is a forward thinker, speaker and author. He founded Wired magazine and writes with great insight. Six years ago he turned 68. For each year of his life, he gifted a piece of advice to his children; things he wished he had known at their age. Each year since, on his birthday, he has added to that initial list. Below are ten pieces of advice from Kevin’s 74th birthday update, relating to happiness, habits and progress.

Happiness

1.Where you live (what city, what country) has more impact on your well-being than any other factor. Where you live is one of the few things in your life you can choose and change. In my biased option, Bath is a beautiful city. It’s been my home for the last 30 years and brings me great joy.
2. The highest form of wealth is deciding you have enough. My instinct is to believe that if I had more money, I’d be happier. However, those richer and wiser than me have persuaded me otherwise.
3. You’ll never meet a very successful pessimistic person. If you want to be remarkable, get better at being optimistic. I can choose how I interpret the world. I chose to be optimistic with a dose of realism.
4. Asking “what-if?” about your past is a waste of time; asking “what-if?” about your future is tremendously productive. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.

Habits

1. What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important. To get the important stuff done, avoid the demands of the urgent.*I try to ensure that activities with longer term benefits are addressed.
   
2. If you are out of ideas, go for a walk. A good walk empties the mind and then refills it with new stuff.*My daily walk gives me space to think and reflect. A life changer for me.
   
3. You have 5 minutes to act on a new idea before it disappears from your mind. If I have an idea, I note it down in my mobile notes app.
   

Progress

1. The best way to criticise something is to make something better. I love building things and seeing others use them.
   
2. The more persistent you are, the more chances you get to be lucky. I find the concept of increasing one’s luck surface area to be an empowering idea. I try to position myself to take advantage of lucky breaks.
   
3. Decisions like to present themselves as irreversible, like a one-way door. But most deciding points are two-way. Don’t get bogged down by decisions. You can usually back up if needed. Few things in life are permanent. While hard to comprehend, this reality is liberating.
   

Other resources

Kevin Kelly Advice for Geeks (and others) post by Phil Martin
How 3 Books Rewired my Brain post by Phil Martin
I agree with Kevin Kelly when he suggests, Your behaviour, not your opinions, will change the world.
Have fun.
Phil…

I know virtually nothing about music theory / composition / etc. So I'm sort of guessing and figuring this out as I go. I have a piece of music I'm trying to write a parody of, and I want to take it from something fairly happy sounding to something more mournful or sad. I thought I could just do this by transposing from whatever key it was in into a minor key, but that doesn't seem to be working. That or I'm doing it wrong. So I figured I'd ask advice.
The key signature has three flats, and I'm pretty sure it's originally (or at least the version I have sheet music for) in Eb major. How do I make that sound not happy, or less happy?
If this is the wrong place to post this, can someone suggest a better subreddit? I'm really not even sure where I should look for an answer to this.
Thank you all in advance.

I feel like I should open this up by saying that I think this is kind of a dumb question, so I'm sorry up front.
I'm doing a campaign with a fair amount of travel, and as such my group is traveling through more than one town. Most of my friends listen to DND podcasts with DMs who are freaking voice actors, and honestly I just can't compete with that. All of my effort goes into keeping my Mississippi accent tamped down, I cannot mask it with an entirely different accent or varying speech patterns, so I feel a bit inadequate when it comes to interactions as it is and let most dialogue happen after the players have initiated it, lol.
Looking for ways to spice this up, I guess. The first village they went to everyone was friendly but not immediately forthcoming, so they had to dig it out of them and earn their trust before getting to the quest. The second was a small kingdom, everyone was cursed and therefore hostile, so there was a battle before the party could leave.
They're coming up on a third town, and I'm trying to figure out how to make the town friendly? It's a quest where their goal is to find some missing town people + stop an evil artificer so the goal isn't anything particularly special, I am just... I'm realizing I'm not super great at writing off-the-bat friendly characters, and I've only played in like 4-5 campaigns anyway so it's not like I'm the most experienced overall and haven't seen a town yet that's super forthcoming.
I have several rumors written that I can pass on from the townspeople to the party, but still kind of struggling with those initial welcoming interactions. Any advice?

I'll start out by saying I'm pretty sure since finding this Reddit and spending the last three days reading stories from here, I've unintentionally cursed our table. I thought to myself "wow, I'm pleased everyone at the table I play at seems nice and we don't have these problems".
Oops :)
We had two new players at the table - one being the Druid who had passed our table the previous week and was excited to see we were playing DnD and how he wanted to learn, and we told him it was a beginners game so he could come down and try it out, especially as we were starting a new campaign the following week so everyone would be at the same point and making their characters.
The Druid was about 13 (the rest of us ranging between late teens to mid 30s) and excitedly talking about how he's wanted to learn to play DnD so he can start a club at school, and so a few people were helping him write his character. The rest of us were a Wizard, Cleric (me), Paladin, Fighter, and Ranger. Instantly he kept getting distracted, asking everyone about their characters, what their names were, what their races were. Which is fine, he's excited. But he quickly turned it into a competition (for example, "What's your armour class? 7? OMG I'm SOOOO much stronger, mines 12, I'm the strongest, yeah!"). Once his stats were done, he was told to think about his traits/backstory while the rest of us finished up our sheets, but he kept yelling "Are you ready yet??? When are we going to start??? Can we start already???"
Which... Okay again that's fine. He's excited. But it's gonna take a lot longer if you keep interrupting us.
Eventually we start out. The DM starts setting the scene - we wake up in a room on a ship, there's a man sitting in there with us who explains our quest on the island we're moored at. Before anyone can say or do anything the Druid says "I set fire to the ship!" Everyone asks him why he would do that and he said "Because I'm crazy!". The DM has us roll and we discover the ship is enchanted ie it cannot be attacked or affected by statuses. The Druid turns his attention to the man and asks why they should do what he's telling them. The man explains they've already been paid. Druid asks for more money. The man says no. Druid declares he doesn't trust this man and says "I kill this man and chop his head off!". The Wizard tells him that if he does this, he will attack the Druid himself. He still insists that he wants to kill the man. DM has him make a roll, which he fails. He keeps insisting he's going to kill everyone we approach, at what point we explain the concept of a murderhobo and how, yknow, he shouldn't be one.
After we finally got him out of the room, things didn't get better.

• He kept wanting to break the ship, even though we reminded him of the enchantments. Was asked why he wanted to keep destroying everything. He said the old "that's what my character would do!"
• He insisted he wanted to speak to the walls to find bugs to tell him to show us the way out because "I have animal handling proficiency so I can talk to animals". And no, he did not have any spells to talk to animals.
• He asked if he could cast a spell to "find the nearest weapon". No, he doesn't have a spell that could do that.
• Told the DM "you're not in charge here!" to which we pointed that yes. Yes he is.
• He ran down a corridor and through an open door, only to land in a swimming pool he hadn't seen. When the rest of us approached the room slowly and said we'd walk around it, he said that wasn't fair and told the DM to "make us fall in" so he wasn't the only one that did. DM explained that he wouldn't since we weren't the ones that chose to run in without looking and that there are consequences to actions.
• During a puzzle he kept loudly telling everyone how he knew what was going on and had figured it out. He had not.
• Rather than pay attention to his stats and the game, he kept the page turned over writing his backstory while the game was going on. He was told multiple times the page with his stats on was more important to have on hand so he could keep referring back to it. He said he didn't care.
• He complained it was "all my fault" that we were in a room with a puzzle in the first place. Bud, there was literally no other rooms to go in than the one we were in. Other players explained there were no right or wrong answers, that it wasn't anyone's 'fault'.
• My favourite: We had to roll initiative, he was in fifth position. The Ranger was taking their turn, and he kept saying how he wanted to go next. We explained it wasn't his turn. "But I just want to do--" Not your turn. "But I only want to--" Cool. Still not your turn. "But it's not fair! I just want to--" Not. Your. Turn.
• Even after DM announced the session was over, he kept saying he wanted to do "one more thing" even though we were all putting our dice away, the DM screens were closed down, people were leaving, lol

Obviously I know that he's young, and I'm being harsh, and I know it was his first game, and he definitely has the enthusiasm, but his lack of interest in understanding the game and rules despite being told them over and over really worries me what the next session will be like. He wants instant gratification, things handed to him on a silver platter and to be the most important, the strongest, the smartest. I felt like a babysitter. There were other examples of things he was told over and over that he refused to take on board. I swear my 7 year old niece understands taking turns better than he did.
Any advice in handling him, or suggestions I can make to him would be welcome. I'm curious where he learnt about DnD to see if there's any examples of etiquette I can give him the next time he comes along to a session. Best case scenario that he maybe goes away, thinks over what he's been told, and comes back next session with a little more understanding. Hopefully.

How do you handle having the same fight over the years with your partner?
I have been with my partner for three years, and we got married six months ago. Since the beginning of our relationship, we have pretty much the same fight, which I think comes down to bad communication. The fights usually happen when he goes out with his friends and I am out of town for work (I can be gone for several weeks at a time). I ask him to let me know when he gets home, and sometimes we agree on a time for him to be home so that we can call. The problem is that he almost always doesn't make it on time to have our call (20 minutes to 2/3 hours late), gets drunk and decides to stay out a lot later (sometimes all night), or runs out of battery and straight out doesn't get back to me until the following day. We've tried many different things: I've worked on not reacting badly to a change of plans, he's worked on being communicative about his plans or change of plans for the night, we've agreed sometimes to not call on the evenings he goes out... But whatever we do, the fight keeps happening. I'm at the point where I feel like we're on a loop and I'm so tired of us repeating ourselves – word to word at this point!
Do you have advice on handling a recurring fight such as this one? I want to make it very clear that I completely trust him, so it's definitely not about that. I just get upset because I feel that he doesn't value my time and doesn't show up for me or communicate. And he feels that I disapprove of his nights out, which I don't. However, I think my need for time togethetalking is greater than his, and I also disapprove when he drinks too much or doesn't show up to our agreed calling time.
I want to get therapy, and he does too, but we cannot afford it right this minute.
(Apologies if my writing isn't clear – English is my second language.)

I’m really lost for words as I type this but I’ll try and keep it brief. My husband and I had a secret Nikkah where his family was not aware or present as they were against him marrying me and were trying to force him into a cousin marriage (more details on previous post). We got married in February and he left shortly after for 2 months to go America to visit family. It was supposed to be 2 weeks and he cancelled his return after we had an argument and delayed his return for 2 months. When he came back we were supposed to tell his family and move out but he delayed this because of a family emergency. Time went on from August until November and we finally found a place and I had said he has to move out by the end of the year because I couldn’t keep waiting. I moved out once everything was finalised in December and I put the whole flat together myself because he was really immersed with family matters and didn’t have the time to help out. He then didn’t end up moving out till February because his family keep trying to convince him to divorce me once he told them about our marriage, so I was alone for about 6 weeks in the flat. We lived together for 2 weeks before he had to go Pakistan with his mother because his grandad became really unwell. They booked him a one way ticket with the intention of keeping him there indefinitely (in my opinion to cause issues with us) but we booked him a return after 2 weeks and his mother stayed. He promised me at this time he will never leave to go away from me again after he saw the way it affected me and my mental health, he said that if he had to he would take me with him if necessary. He came back just in time for Ramadan because this was our first Ramadan living together and I really wanted him to prioritise me for that time. He currently doesn’t have a job but has been applying for jobs since the time he moved in, I currently take care of bills/rent etc for that reason. I work 12 hour shifts - 4 days on, 4 days off but I changed all my shifts around during Ramadan, working 8 hours with no breaks (05:00-13:00) each day to ensure I was there for each Iftar and Suhoor with him. I’d come home from work and spend time with him before cooking Iftar for us in the evening. He would also visit his family during this time to open fasts with them but they continued to slander me and encourage divorce between us. This is ongoing till this day.
I’m writing this with a heavy heart because I’m feeling a bigger rift between us than ever before. He’s told me he’s going to be going Pakistan again because his parents keep asking this of him. He states his mother and aunt are alone in Pakistan without a male figure and that they need someone there. They have been there by themselves for almost a month now I believe. He’s also been away from me to cover for his family business after a passing in the family for the last week and a half so in addition to this he’s now going to be going away for a minimum of 2+ weeks. He has the option of commuting from our flat to the shop but it would take slightly longer and I suggested he go to his parents so he can spend time with his siblings/nieces to try and repair the relationship and because I know he misses them a lot.
I went into really severe depression when he left so soon after our marriage and was away for two months and since that time I’ve had a huge insecurity about him being away because I don’t trust that he will put me first and come back in good time. In this situation now I’ve said I’m firm on him not going Pakistan because he only went recently and he has a brother at home who is unmarried that can go if it is imperative. His dad went Pakistan a week ago and returned yesterday but didn’t stay with his mum either. I feel extremely alone and isolated, none of my siblings live close to me and I don’t have a strong relationship with my parents. Being away from him is so difficult for me, I feel so uncomfortable in our home alone and further to that I just feel so alone. I feel like he doesn’t understand or comprehend the responsibilities of a husband if he’s so comfortable leaving me alone so often. I am constantly extending olive branches to his family to try and build a relationship with them but they’ll always shut it down and continue to advocate for divorce, his mother especially. He admitted that he thinks previously when he went to Pakistan that part of the reason they tried to keep him there was to create distance between us but if he knows that then why does he not see the impact this will have on our marriage? I’m starting to lose the person I once was. I feel so unhappy and taken for granted. I am constantly trying to do things for him to make him feel special or happy because I know things have been difficult for his family. I dress up for him and surprise him, I booked us a holiday away for his birthday/our anniversary. I cook and clean around the house despite working full time. I feel so heartbroken. He knows how much this affects me but he puts me through it anyway. I love him but I don’t know how long I can keep feeling like I’m in a one sided marriage. I would always consider him and prioritise him and make rational decisions but I don’t think he can do the same and I’m so lost.
I would appreciate any and all advice on this; sisters if you’ve experienced something similar, brothers if you can give insight on the train of thought?

Let me preface by saying that I am fully aware that working out is driven by discipline, rather than motivation. I have been trying to come from a place of grace and compassion -- but there's a duality between being too lenient and just pushing for what I believe is best for myself. Back when I was a personal trainer, I loved working out 5-6 times/ week. It was pretty much a religion. Of course, now that I'm in grad school, the process has slowed down a bit but I was able to maintain a healthy level of activity until the past couple months.
April was finals season. This was compounded with prepping for job interviews, scholarship/grant writing, and family health issues on both my end and my partners family. I had to travel 16 hours out to see my family, completely eliminating all activities I normally do for 2-3 weeks (including jet lag both ways), in addition to my depression and anxiety that was beginning to skyrocket simultaneously since winter. Maybe this was partially due to my drop in activity (i.e. I rely on exercise as my handy-dandy anti-depressant).
Due to travel, my medical conditions (new meds unrelated to mental health), and final exams, the entirety of March and April went out the window. It’s only gotten worse, now that I’ve secured a WFH remote position that doesn’t allow me to move around as much. I’ve been considering of purchasing a walking pad, at the very least, to get my blood flowing.
Since then, I’ve been sleeping in more lately and with longer duration, averaging between 9-10 hours. I cannot figure out for the life of me whether this is because I haven’t been as active = feeling more lazy (cyclical pattern), or if the “trauma” of everything so far requires me to have a deep reset.
In the past few weeks, I can honestly say that I have tried to restart my routine by putting myself out there — whether that’s running, lifting, climbing, etc. Yet, every time I go, it feels like it’s been half-assed, or I’ve been exhausting myself beyond comparison. It’s also only half of the duration/effort I normally put in. AGAIN, trying to come from a place of compassion and setting my expectations low but...
There’s a psychological component, where it feels incredibly discouraging that I have to start from ground zero...again.
Despite the concept of muscle memory, I can’t seem to find the level of resilience I once had. It almost feels complacent to me now.
I am also cognizant that the new medication might be impacting my mental health conditions, which could be exacerbating all of my symptoms.
Long story short, I'm beginning to justify my actions and convincing myself that I need this deep rest— to hibernate. (but for how long, who knows? is this just clinical depression lol?)
All to say - theoretically, I would love to get myself back on track. I know LOGICALLY it would make me feel better. But when I try, it doesn’t feel good and results with little to no reward.
Any advice if anyone has been in this similar situation?

I was gone for a few hours last night to get dinner and drinks and when I came back to my place there was a miller lite empty beer bottle in my trash , poking out from the top like it wasn’t trying to be hidden. I have no clue how it got there, I live alone and haven’t had anyone over recently where it would make sense to be in my trash from yesterday. I remembered I left a spare key at my front desk for my friend who was supposed to visit me a few months back, and so I went to go get it from the front desk and they didn’t have it and neither did the management office. Is it possible someone used my spare key, and if so how did they know what name or apartment to ask for the key for? For context, I live in a high rise so it would be extremely unlikely they could’ve guessed my apartment number and asked for the spare key. What’s weird is they didn’t take anything, the only thing that was different was Spotify was on my laptop - which was locked. Stupidly, I did have the password written down in a stack of notebooks with other outdated passwords (for further context I was severely hacked a few years ago and made complex passwords unique to each platform / account afterwards and had them in a notebook; I no longer write them down but couldn’t keep track of them otherwise when I initially did that). So in theory someone could have tried the many passwords in there and gotten into my laptop but why Spotify? I’m guessing my computer just opened it on its own when updating maybe? Does anyone have any idea why someone would do this and leave evidence of their break in? Just to mess with me or something more sinister? Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. I’m going to get the locks changed to start.
Edit: my apartment has a 24/7 front desk person, and key fobs required to enter- they only let people in without a fob if they know they are a resident and almost never remember me because there’s hundreds of residents here. So even if they got my spare key, they would have to a) know I was not home or maybe they hoped I would be? And b) have the front desk let them in because they wouldn’t have a fob.

I started DMing not so long ago and I wanted to homebrew a campaign out of an idea that I got + my player's characters. idk if it's risky or not to homebrew a campaign when I haven't been DMing for that long but honestly my players don't care and I'm fine as long as everyone is having a good time. thing is, I'm writing down my session and I'm not sure how to calculate when should I stop writing for just one session. I don't want it to last for more than 4-5h since I think my players will get tired for that. but at the same time I feel like I have to prepare enough content for the party to have fun if they miss any of the details/extra things I've prepared.
do you guys have any advice on this? any formula you use to calculate how long a session will take? I'm sorry if this is a dumb question lol We have a game scheduled for tomorrow and although I prepared quite a lot of stuff I just can't help but worry if it's gonna be too little. I know that if I prepared TOO much I can just call it a day mid session and we'll continue next time but,, idk if I'm just overthinking

Hey everyone, I'm 17 years old and feeling really overwhelmed, so I'm writing this to get it all out and seek some help. Maybe some of you can say something to help me feel less alone.
I feel way behind people my age career-wise because of my immaturity and not listening to my family. I feel like I'm at my breaking point, so here it goes:
I was never particularly good at academics or anything else. I enjoyed playing different sports but was just average at all of them. In 10th grade, I studied for the last 3-4 weeks and scored good enough marks to get into the science stream.
I chose PCM (Physics, Chemistry, and Math) because I wanted to join the NDA and become an officer. It was a dream I never worked towards, and now I realize how unrealistic it was. In 11th grade, I was in a relationship and wasted a lot of time on that and other distractions. I didn’t have any friends except my boyfriend. I thought I could score decent marks by studying in the last few weeks like I did in 10th grade, but it didn’t work, and I failed.
Then my boyfriend suggested we break up to focus on our studies. It hurt a little, but I agreed. He ended up scoring decent marks.
I repeated 11th grade in the same school (big mistake) and took PCM again (even bigger mistake) to prove people wrong who said I shouldn’t take it. I had three goals: study hard, make friends, and improve my health. I was bullied by my classmates but eventually made some friends, had a decent social life, and passed my UT exams, though not with great marks.
Things got worse when I started seeing my ex in the corridors. He asked a mutual friend how I was doing, and we tried to make things work again. I was very insecure, and he eventually wanted to break up again. A week before, he was sending me mixed signals, but he had made up his mind.
During his farewell, I found out he was close to another girl. It hurt a lot because I was still dealing with my insecurities. She even had the same name as me, which felt like a cruel twist. All I could think about was both of them doing the things we had discussed. I kept arguing with him in my mind.
My birthday and exams were coming up, and I couldn’t focus on anything but them. My grandfather also passed away, and I felt guilty for not visiting him due to exams. With all this happening, I got really depressed.
When the results came, I failed again.
Currently, I'm doing commerce from an open school and scoring well on my tuition exams. I'm not talking to anyone except family because I don't know how to reach out. I do feel lonely at times, but I am at peace. My liver got really bad due to poor eating habits, so now I'm eating healthy and exercising.
What also helped me is that I have shifted recently, so I had this sense that I am away from all those things and starting a new life. But today, I saw a boy from my first 11th batch in my new colony, and it broke me down so badly. He was friends with my ex.
I'm not using Instagram or any social media and I'm not in contact with anyone from my past.
I know at the end of the day, it's all my fault and I brought it upon myself.
If anyone has advice or just wants to share their thoughts, it would mean a lot to me.

Hey everyone, I'm 17 years old and feeling really overwhelmed, so I'm writing this to get it all out and seek some help. Maybe some of you can say something to help me feel less alone.
I feel way behind people my age career-wise because of my immaturity and not listening to my family. I feel like I'm at my breaking point, so here it goes:
I was never particularly good at academics or anything else. I enjoyed playing different sports but was just average at all of them. In 10th grade, I studied for the last 3-4 weeks and scored good enough marks to get into the science stream.
I chose PCM (Physics, Chemistry, and Math) because I wanted to join the NDA and become an officer. It was a dream I never worked towards, and now I realize how unrealistic it was. In 11th grade, I was in a relationship and wasted a lot of time on that and other distractions. I didn’t have any friends except my boyfriend. I thought I could score decent marks by studying in the last few weeks like I did in 10th grade, but it didn’t work, and I failed.
Then my boyfriend suggested we break up to focus on our studies. It hurt a little, but I agreed. He ended up scoring decent marks.
I repeated 11th grade in the same school (big mistake) and took PCM again (even bigger mistake) to prove people wrong who said I shouldn’t take it. I had three goals: study hard, make friends, and improve my health. I was bullied by my classmates but eventually made some friends, had a decent social life, and passed my UT exams, though not with great marks.
Things got worse when I started seeing my ex in the corridors. He asked a mutual friend how I was doing, and we tried to make things work again. I was very insecure, and he eventually wanted to break up again. A week before, he was sending me mixed signals, but he had made up his mind.
During his farewell, I found out he was close to another girl. It hurt a lot because I was still dealing with my insecurities. She even had the same name as me, which felt like a cruel twist. All I could think about was both of them doing the things we had discussed. I kept arguing with him in my mind.
My birthday and exams were coming up, and I couldn’t focus on anything but them. My grandfather also passed away, and I felt guilty for not visiting him due to exams. With all this happening, I got really depressed.
When the results came, I failed again.
Currently, I'm doing commerce from an open school and scoring well on my tuition exams. I'm not talking to anyone except family because I don't know how to reach out. I do feel lonely at times, but I am at peace. My liver got really bad due to poor eating habits, so now I'm eating healthy and exercising.
What also helped me is that I have shifted recently, so I had this sense that I am away from all those things and starting a new life. But today, I saw a boy from my first 11th batch in my new colony, and it broke me down so badly. He was friends with my ex.
I'm not using Instagram or any social media and I'm not in contact with anyone from my past.
I know at the end of the day, it's all my fault and I brought it upon myself.
If anyone has advice or just wants to share their thoughts, it would mean a lot to me.