I feel like I'm not the only one who has thought of this so I want to see who else agrees

I have too much free time so I created an example schedule for what I'd like to see on Nick for a weekday in ~2018 - 2019 (there's barely any variety rn so I'm just gonna base this schedule between those years)

6:00 AM - Full House or George Lopez
7:00 AM - Spongebob or Loud House (Any juggernaut show)
Nick Jr:
8:00 AM - PAW Patrol
8:30 AM - Bubble Guppies
9:00 AM - Blaze and The Monster Machines, or any of the newest cartoons airing around this time.
9:30 AM - Dora The Explorer, maybe Go, Diego, Go!
10:00 AM - Thomas & Friends
10:30 AM - Peppa Pig
11:00 AM - 2:00 PM - Repeats or reruns of shows from 8:00 AM - 11:00 AM or live actions shows, but there aren't any substantial live action shows during this time. Acquired programming shows that aren't as popular or are already cancelled like Team Umizoomi can also be aired. Maybe even a Nick Jr Rewind (so both nostalgic millennial/Gen Z parents can tune in along with their young kids) during this time, airing stuff like Blue Clues or even Pinwheel from the 70s, idk.
Nickelodeon: Juggernaut Cartoons (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM reserved for extremely popular shows to maximize ratings):
2:00 PM - SpongeBob, or acquired programming like Alvinnn!!! and the Chipmunks, Power Rangers, etc.
3:00 PM - SpongeBob; the show's usually classified eras (Seasons 1-3, 4-5, 6-8, 9-now) will each air evenly: the first three seasons along with the newer seasons (assuming SpongeBob also airs at 2:00 PM) can have one or two reruns, seasons 4 - 8 will only have a single rerun (4-5 can be an exception when 1 - 3 are done airing (shows will also air in order: from season 1 episode 1 to the latest episode; in this case of SpongeBob, the eras will air in order).)
4:00 PM - The Loud House
Nickelodeon: Premiere Cartoons (Newer Cartoons that need some spotlight, so a good time from 5:00 - 7:00 can help):
5:00 PM - Rise Of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or any of the newest cartoons around this time.
5:30 PM - Harvey Beaks (Good show that got done dirty, so I'd personally still have it be here airing new episodes (Basically just not cancelling the show))
6:00 PM - Welcome To the Wayne
6:30 PM - Acquired programming like Alvinnn!!! and the Chipmunks, Power Rangers, etc.
Nickelodeon: Live Action Shows (Just live action stuff or any major stuff Nick wants to air, like a movie or something):
7:00 PM - Henry Danger or the newest show or around this time.
7:30 PM - Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn
8:00 PM - The Thundermans
8:30 PM - Any game shows or miscellaneous live action show. Maybe an old sitcom like ICarly or Drake and Josh or something more recent like Big Time Rush.
Nick at Nite:
9:00 PM - Full House
9:30 PM - George Lopez
10:00 PM - Mom, or any new originals for Nick at Nite (if there should be any)
10:30 PM - Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, I guess, idk, any show can be here.
11:00 PM - Friends
11:30 PM - The Big Bang Theory, then Young Sheldon airs whenever it needs to (TBBT seemingly never aired on Nick at Nite, but Warner Bros can possibly see the potential in airing reruns on Nick at Nite)
Nick Rewind (Mainly the 90s shows):
12:00 AM - Hey Arnold!
12:30 AM - Rocko's Modern Life
1:00 AM - The Ren and Stimpy Show or Aaahh!!! Real Monsters
1:30 AM - The Wild Thornberrys or Rocket Power
2:00 AM - Catdog
2:30 AM - The Angry Beavers
3:00 AM - The Adventures of Pete & Pete, or repeats of what's been shown from 12:00 AM to 2:30 AM, some 2000s cartoons here, or the 90's sitcoms below.
3:30 AM - Kenan & Kel
4:00 AM - The Secret World of Alex Meck
4:30 AM - Welcome Freshmen
The shows above can change in what's aired. This is just what I think most of the audience during this late night would like to see - I'd love to see something like El Tiger or Catscratch, maybe just more action shows from the 2000s like Danny Phantom or MLAATR. The shows below used to be Nickelodeon's juggernauts, having them air earlier can bring in more viewership from kids that happen to wake up really early or something. Airing right as the block starts at 12:00 AM can also bring more viewers in already familiar.
5:00 AM - Rugrats, then Rugrats All Grown Up after finishing up its run.
5:30 AM - The Fairly Oddparents (Only seasons 1 - 7, maybe 8, but never 9 - 10)
6:00 - 7:00 AM can also have more recent shows from the 2010s like TMNT 2012 or Robot and Monster. Also, if it were to be the schedule of right now, probably like an hour of each Cartoon, 30 minutes for the Spongebob spinoffs, idk. If you noticed any missing time slots Spongebob at 2:00 PM then Loud House at 3:00 PM, assume that the 2:30 PM time slot is taken up by the former show.

Here's how a weekend schedule could look like:
Morning Throwback (Recent 2010s-ish cartoons no longer airing on Nick along with popular Nick shows back in the day):
6:00 AM - Rugrats
7:00 AM - The Fairly Oddparents
8:00 AM - Jimmy Neutron, then Planet Sheen after Jimmy Neutron finishes up its run.
9:00 AM - Acquired Programming like Alvin and The Chipmunks, Power Rangers, etc.
9:30 AM - Winx Club
10:00 AM - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)
10:30 AM - Avatar: The Last Airbender, then followed up by The Legend of Korra after Avatar finishes its run.
11:00 AM - TUFF Puppy or Bunsen is a Beast
11:30 AM - Robot And Monster or failed 2010s Nick cartoons like The Breadwinners, Sanjay and Craig, etc.
Main Cartoons (An hour of each of Nick's currently airing cartoons):
12:00 PM - SpongeBob
1:00 PM - The Loud House
2:00 PM - Harvey Beaks
3:00 PM - Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
4:00 PM - Welcome To the Wayne
Nickelodeon: Premiere Cartoons/Sitcoms (If there're any new premieres for any cartoons or live action shows, they can air here. Otherwise, just the same Live Action shows as before):
5:00 PM - Henry Danger
6:00 PM - Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn
7:00 PM - The Thundermans
Nickelodeon: Movie Night (Just a random movie like they're always airing nowadays; at least not the same movies over and over)
8:00 PM to 11:00 PM - Top Gun (Rated PG apparently), or anything else from Nickelodeon's and Paramount's movie catalogue.
11:00 PM - Friends, or any new originals for Nick at Nite (if there should be any). Maybe a recent premiere of a new show from other channels like CBS, MTV, etc.
Nick Rewind (Mainly 2000s shows):
12:00 AM - Invader Zim
12:30 AM - Danny Phantom
1:00 AM - My Life as a Teenage Robot
1:30 AM - The Might B!
2:00 AM - As Told by Ginger
2:30 AM - Catscratch
3:00 AM - The X's
3:30 AM - El Tigre
4:00 AM - Back at the Barnyard
4:30 AM - Tak and the Power of Juju
5:00 AM - Mr Meaty
5:30 AM - Unfabulous

I'm writing a crossover series of several different Nicktoons, and the 5th entry I made for it is based on The Loud House, creating an alternate continuity after the first 3 seasons. The series is also comprised of the shoes "Hey Arnold!", "Danny Phantom", "Rocket Power", "ChalkZone", and "Invader Zim", with more to come, but I try to write each one to be self-contained, including this one.
The series is a superhero-focused, MCU-style take on the Nicktoons, and this story is meant to be more of a parody of the superhero genre in general.
The premise is that Lincoln flunked his social studies class, and he needs to do a report on something called the Hillwood Effect (This builds off the aforementioned "Hey Arnold!" story: Basically, superheroes are all popping up around the country because of the events of the story, but going away as quickly as they came, like a fad). In order to do his report, he decides to become a superhero himself, with the aid of a nuclear reactor Lisa owns, giving him energy powers, in which he can absorb any form of energy, whether it be food, electricity, or anything else, and redirect it.
This is where most of the comedy comes in. I wanted to explore the idea of someone coming super-late into the craze of superheroes, and subsequently getting stuck fighting either lame or non-threatening villains, to just doing nothing. Eventually, more supervillains start showing up, including serious ones that pose a legitimate threat, and he uncovers a greater conspiracy from there, as well as having to compete with another superhero trying to take over his job. He also breaks the fourth wall and frequently fights with the narrator, expanding more on his fourth wall breaks.
I tried to take influence from the most comedic, satirical, or otherwise unorthodox superhero movies like Mystery Men, the Toxic Avenger films, Blankman, Superhero Movie, and comics like Quantum and Woody, The Boys, Major Bummer, and Normalman, while also trying to match the humor of Mel Brooks or the Zucker, Abrahams, and Zucker team. The "description" of the story as it is posted doesn't tell you any of what I just said; instead, it has a recipe for brownie topping.
Minor note: The very last chapter is an epilogue that sets up the next story in the series, but also a large plot twist that changes your viewing of the other stories. If you like what you read and don't want to spoil the other stories for yourself, you'd better skip that part and come back after.
It also features a character from "Rocket Power" named Lars Rodriguez, who is a recurring character in the rest. You don't need to know anything about "Rocket Power" or his character; he had little more personality in the show other than just "the bully", but I retooled him into an unintelligent sociopath character with a machine-gun arm that with the luck to survive anything. Imagine if Jason Mewes had a love-child with Chucky from "Child's Play", and that kid grew up selling drugs, and you have a good grasp on what my version of him is.
Check it out here:
FanFiction.net: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13575826/1/The-Loud-House-Ace-of-Spades
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54263146

(At the Hazbin Hotel, Charles is walking from the side to the other)
Charles: Okay. So the extermination is coming in six months instead of a year. No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can't handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls? (Manically) Am I right? And next time, when they cut the time in half again and again, we'll handle it, right?! (Vagner holds him)
Vagner: Yes, we will.
Angela: Oh, please, ya had less than half a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit. And now...(Seems a lot of messages beeing sended) Ain't no silver lining this time, toots.
Charles: Sure there is. We just have to look a little harder for it.
Angela: Well, while you're lookin, the rest of Hell is going nuts. (Shows her phone) People are already freaking out about the news. Look at what's happening in the Doomsday District.
Charles: Err, what is a "donkey show"?
Angela: Aah, heh, nothing. My boss, Tina, is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone's losing their shit.
Vagner: Yeah, that's true. Sinners are desperate. Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the extermination?
Charles: (Gasps) This is the perfect time to recruit more sinners for the hotel!
Angela: Cute idea and all, but you really going to go out in all of this? (Shows ger phone with demons running desperate)
Charles: Well, is not like are just going to show up in our doorstep.
(A explosion shaddles a wall, Charles screams and outside a snake woman is seen in an airship full of weapons)
Miss Pentious: Show yourself, Alice! Come and face...(Don't anything on the wall, and sees Alice drinking coffee in a balcony) Oh, there you are...Face my wrath!
Alice: Who are you?
Miss Pentious: Who am I? Who am I? I am the great Miss Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction, villain extraordinaire!
(Alice teleports to the hotel's entrance with Angela, Charles and Vagner)
Egg girl #1: Ooh! You tell 'em, boss!
Niffter: (Gasps) Ooh, she's a bad girl.
Alice: Huh, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you.
Miss Pentious: I attacked you literally last week. We've done battles, like...20 times.
Alice: Well, you must have been really bad at this.
Miss Pentious: Silence! Now cower! For when I've slain you, the almigthy Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal!
Niffter: Ooh! Wait, who are the Vees?
Alice: Oh, nobody important.
(At the Vee Tower, some demons are seen at a tv shop)
Tv announcer: New VixTek designer voyeur scopes. Peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish. VixTek. Trust us with your money.
(The demons enter the store and leave holding boxes)
Tv announcer: This week's episode of "Yeah, I Fucked Your Sister, So What?" is brought to you by VixTek. Trust us with your entertainment. VixTek. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us...
(In a room full of tvs, a woman with a tv head drails all the tvs energy while laughing and spying everyone)
Vix: Now that's good television! (Her face shows a call screen, shoots a lighthing at one of the tvs and does a phone call) Hello, there, Veener. How are you this hellish morning?
Veener: Oh, cut the shit, Vix. I need you up here now!
Vix: Whatever could be the problem my dear?
Veener: Your little girl toy is wrecking my departament while I'm trying to pull together a show and...
Valentina: Fucking bitch!
Veener: Just get your ass here. Now! Damnit, Valentina!
(Static and Vix smiles faits)
Vix: (Sighs) Oh god, here I go. Valentina. Just another fucking day with Tina. Hey, hey, hey. Fuck my life. (Gets in a lift that takes she up to her office, fulled with reporters)
Reporters: Mrs Vix! Mrs Vix! Question over here. Mrs Vix!
Reporter #1: Mrs Vix. What are your thoughts on the new extermination deadline?
Vix: My dear people, we at VixTek Enterprises have always been at the forefront pf innovation. And now with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting our focus to your protection. We are please to annouce VixTek Angelic Security is coming soon. Trust us with your safety.
(Vix's eye hipnotizes all the reporters)
Employee #1: Ma'am? Uh, when did we begin working on Angelic Security?
Vix: 30 seconds ago. Try to put that fucker Carmillo on the books and cancel all my appoinments today. I have a fire to put out upstairs. (Turns into electricity and gets in a security cam)
(In Veener's design studio)
Veener: Ugh. No. Unacceptable. You're fired. What is this? Wrist ruffles? Is it 1750? Burn it like the witches who wore it.
(Vix appears behind Veener)
Vix: Oh, Veener. I can see you're busy. Tell me, where's our hot haded friend now?
Veener: Up in her tower, waiting for a flat-faced princess to calm her down.
Vix: (sighs) And uh, what's got her so out of sorts today?
Veener: Who knows? But she tore up my best model. And you know the show can't wait for that unlucky fucker to put himself back together. Melvin, ger over here! (A guy appears in his front) No. No. Hideous. I want to die. Eww. Oh, yes. That's the one.
Vix: Well, looks like you have everything under control here.
Veener: Of course I do. Fuck you. Now shoo! Take care of the piss baby.
(Vix walks away, and two moth men open a door for her and she enters in Valentina's penthouse and see the demon surrounded by red smoke at the sofa)
Valentina: Fucking finally! (Throws a glass on the floor) Kin, another drink. Can you believe what that piece of shit did? The ungrateful whore! (Throws the other glass and almost hits Vix)
Vix: Um, which whore are we talking about this time?
Valentina: Fucking Angela Dust. Who the hell else would I be talking about? That fucking slut walked out on me. Me. I fucking made her. Without me, she's just a bag of meat with some middly entairtainig holes.
Vix: Angela quit?
Valentina: No, she didn't fucking quit! It's worse. (Gets Vix's phone and throws at the wall) She moved! Seh thinks she can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else. Can you fucking believe that?! She thinks she can run off and shack up with Lucy's bimbo son?
Vix: Angela is living with Lucy's son now?
Valentina: Yeah, that fucker. Charlie or Charlotte, or...I don't know. Something girly like that. He's got that hotel and...(Shows a pair of guns) Which of these makes me look sexier?
Vix: (Chuckles) What are you doing, Tina? You're not going in there.
Valentina: That slippery twink is going to remember who owns her. I'm going to fuck everyone in that rancid shithole, I swear to God. (Vix grabs her)
Vix: (Shouts) Tina! (Chuckles) Think about it. Our brand is perfection. And what do you think chasing whored around town will do for our image?
Valentina: Uh...Fuck it up?
Vix: Right! Do you want people thinking you can't control your employees?
Valentina: No.
Vix: Exactly. And, hey, you still have her under contract. She isn't going anywhere. So you should...?
Valentina: Do nothing?
Vix: Great idea. Now, that's why they pay you the big bucks.
Valentina: (Sighs) But I really wanted to shoot someone. (Grabs her cigarrete and Vix lights it with her hand electricity)
Vix: Well, let me call up the lowest earners this month.
Valentina: Oh, you know me too well. (Chuckles darkly and drags on her cigarrete) You know, Angela isn't the only one spending time at this ratty hotel with Devil's Príncipe.
Vix: Oh, who else is there? Someone who owes you money?
Valentina: (Chuckles) Someone who owes us much more than money. The Radio Demon is there.
(Vix creeps electricity and she scratches a table)
Vix: (Chuckles) What did you just say?
Valentina: You heard me.
Vix: Alice came back and she is with Lucy's son, (Angrily) And wasn't the first fucking thing you told me?!
Valentina: Hey, killing Alice is your kink.
(They watch a video of Alice torturing Miss Pentious, in her airship, with giant tentacles and laughing)
Miss Pentious: Arrgh, Oh! Please! Stop!
Charles: Um, Alastor? I think she's had enough.
Angela: She's got a few more hits in her!
(Miss Pentious tries to grab the floor of the airship but she slippers and falls face on the ground)
Alice: Thanks for another forgetable experience.
(An egg falls near Charles)
Miss Pentious: Thank...You...For letting your guard down! (Rips Alice's coat) Haha! Yah! (Alice's shadow covers her) Oh, shit!
(A green smoke explosion send Miss Pentious flying)
Miss Pentious: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
Alice: Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor. Best of luck, chums.
Vagner: Wait. You're leaving? Alice, we need youd help. We need you to do your job.
Angela: We need a wall.
Alice: Of course. Can't let my new project to fall into disrepair already. What would the paper say?
(Ghost construction workers appear from the ground and Angela pushes Vagner giggling and sides up to them)
Angela: Hey, sweet cheeks. What you doing later? I love a woman with a giant...Tool.
(Valentina watches from a tv)
Valentina: See? Look, at how she flirts with that girl. Annd she's not even paying. Who is that? I'm gonna fucking kill her whole fucking family. Vix? Vix?!
(Vix looks angrily at Alice from the tv)
Vix: That bitch is back!
Valentina: Yeah, I thought she was gone for good too.
Vix: It's been seven years!
Valentina: You still pissed she almost beat that time.
Vix: Uh, fuck you!
Valentina: Just saying.
Vix: Things have changed a lot since she left town.
Valentina: That's for sure.
Vix: I got send a message of who really is in charge of things now!
(Valentina laughs)
(At Vix's officer)
Vix: (Singing) Welcome home! I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone. Say hello to a new status quo. Everyone knows that there's a brand-new dawn. Turn the TV on! (Camera speeds, rollin' in three, two) Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been who has been spotted cavorting around town (welcome to the show) After a seven-year absence. Did anybody miss her? (Welcome to the show) Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program. So, the radio demon is back in town. Why is she hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well handily, I've got good news. She's a loser, a fossil and I don't mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward! You can take that as gospel. Pulling my viewers? Impossible! I'm visual, she's barely audible. Stop givin' her the time of day. Don't listen to a word she'd say. I hope he had a nice vacay, but she should've stayed away. While she hid in radio we pivoted to video. Now her medium is gettin' bloody rare. Hell's been better since she split. Where's she been? Who gives a shit!
Alice: (Singing) Salutations! Good to be back on the air.Yes, I know it's been a while since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast! Sinners, rejoice!
Vix: What a dated voice.
Alice: Instead of a clout-chasin' mediocre video podcast.
Vix: Come on!
Alice: Is Vix insecure? Pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothin' working?
Vix: Ignore her chirping!
Alice: Every day, she's got a new format!
Vix: You're lookin' at the future, she's the shit that comes before that!
Alice: Is Vix as strong as she purports or is it based on her support? She'd be powerless without the other Vees!
Vix: Oh, please!
Alice: And here's the sugar on the cream: she asked me join her team!
Vix: Hold on!
Alice: I said no and now she's pissy. That's the tea.
Vix: (Buffering) You old-timey prick. I'll show you suffering!
Alice: Uh-oh, the tv is buffering!
Vix: I'll destroy you, you little...
(The lights on the whole town turn off)
Alice: I'm afraid you've lost your signal!
(At Alice's radio tower in the hotel)
Alice: Let's begin! I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone! Tune on in! When I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run! Oh, this will be fun!
(Vix sees Alice's silhouette from the tvs and the Radio Demon laughs)
Vix: Fuck!
(At a room, the Vees are reunited around a table with Kin serving drinks to them)
Vix: We have a problem. Alice is getting close to little Prince Morningstar. So our main concern now is ensuring that no deal is never struck with Lucy's brat and that smilling freak.
Veener: Well, how, exactly, are we suppose to stop it?
Valentina: Put something inside them. That's how I get the bitches to behave!
Vix: Well, maybe someone in the inside isn't such a bad idea. Do you think Angela would?
Valentina: Pft. That lanky prick won't even return my calls.
Vix: We need someone who Mister Bleeding-Heart would take in.
Veener: Someone pathetic, desparate, with no direct ties to us.
Valentina: I employ every down on their lucky loser this side of Hell. Who the fuck is left?
Vix: (Scoffs) I think I have just the one.
(Back to the hotel, Charles throws himself face down on one of the sofas)
Charles: (Exhausted) Hmmph!
Angela: So, how'd it go?
Vagner: (Sighs) Not a sigle new recruit.
Angela: Yeah. Well, who would to use their last days not fucking or fighting?
(Someone bangs at the door, Vagner goes to it and see Miss Pentious holding her hat)
Miss Pentious: Why, hello, my dar...(Vagner punches her and points a spear at her) Wait wait wait! (Fells on the ground and stands up her pointing the weapon) I come in peace.
Vagner: What are you doing here?
Charles: Vagner, what's the problme? (Gasps) Oh, hello again.
(Vagner gets out of MA'AM Pentious and she stands up)
Miss Pentious: I didn't come looking for a fight. I, uhhh...I heard that you're helping people. People who want to be better?
Charles: (Gasps) You heard right! Welcome to our home of healing, our resort of restoration, our...
Angela: Are you fucking nuts? This bitch was trying to kill us, like, literally six hours ago. And now you want to bring her in here to live with us?
Charles: Of course! This place is about second chances. And who deserves one more this slithering...slippery...special little woman?
Angela: (To Vagner) Aren't you supposed to protect this place?
(Charles does a puppy face to Vagner)
Vagner: (Sighs) I...Guess she's not much of a threat without the war machine.
(Miss Pentious smiles)
Vagner: Or even with the war machine.
(Miss Pentious' smile faits and Charles hugs Vagner spinning)
Charles: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Miss Pentious, welcome to Hazbin Hotel! (Walks away)
Miss Pentious: Oh, no, darling. Thank you. You won't regret this. (Enters the hotel)
Angela: Eh, I give you a week. Tops. (Enters the hotel)
(Inside, Hisky drinks at the bar)
Charles: So...this is bar and the bartender. This is the curtain, and this is the new wall after you broke the last one, heh, and, oh, this, this is...(Vagner holds him)
Vagner: Babe, you don't have to show her every detail.
Charles: Sorry, I'm just so excited to have our first real guest!
Angela: Uh, what the hell am I then?
Charles: Well, you're an important part of our family here, Angela. But you, um, uh...
Vagner: Constantly make us look bad, sexually harass the staff, and have literally never once tried to improve?
Charles: What he means is, it's just nice to have someone interested for once.
(Angela lowers her head as Charles enters the lobby)
Charles: Over here, we have our housekeeper, Niffter.
Niffter: (Gasps) The bad girl is back! (Jumps on Miss Pentious) Never leave me again!
Charles: We're about eighthy percent sure he's harmless. And over here we have...(Sees Alice) Oh, uh, Alice, our gracious Facility Manager! You've met our newest guest, Miss Pentious...Heh heh.
Alice: Ah, yes. You're yhe one who ruined my coat. (Sinisterly) I definitely remember you now.
(Miss Pentious gulps nervously)
Charles: Well, I guess this is a great time for your first lesson: (Clears throat) "How to apologize". The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you're wrong. Why don't you give it a try?
Miss Pentious: Yes, um...Mrs, um, Radio Demon, ma'am, please forgive me for attacking you and ruining your very lovely coat...Um, here...(Hands Alice's coat scrap she take off to herself)
Alice: Oh-ho, not many people have been able to take even this much off me. It must have meant quite a lot for you. (Combusts the piece of the coat into green flames)
(At the lobby)
Charles: Now! With a new resident, I think it's important that we all get to know each other, so we are going to play a little game. Everyone, follow me. My name is Charles. (Claps) I like to sing. (Claps) And when we get to know each other, it's the greatest thing. (Claps and turns to Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: My name is Miss Pentious. (Claps) I like to build. (Claps) And despite my stupid Egg Girls, I think I'm very skilled. (Claps)
(Charles and Miss Pentious turn to Angela)
Angela: This is stupid.
Charles: This is not stupid! (Claps) It's just a game! (Claps) Ma'am Pentious did it well and now you have to do same! (Claps)
Angela: I am too sober for this.
Vagner: Well, get used to it and learn how to play. This is gonna be your whole day. (Claps)
(Later, Angela reads a script wearing a trenchcoat and a hat)
Angela: "Oh, I'm a bad man kn the streets who never got enough hugs. Now, where is an innocent kid I can sell crack to?". Wow! Who wrote this?
Charles: Is great, right? Keep going.
Angela: "Hey you."
Miss Pentious: Who, me?
Angela: "Yeah, you look just like a kid who could use some devil's dandruff."? Oh, for fuck's sake!
Miss Pentious: Not me. I have to go home and study.
Angela: "Come on kid, it will make you cool like me...The crack head!"
Miss Pentious: The only cool thing here is to say no to drugs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!
Charles: Yes! Oh, bravo, bravo! Wow, Pentious, at this rate you'll be redeemed in no time.
(Angela hangs her head)
Angela: I...I'm going to bed. (Walks away and stop in one of the stairs steps)
Angela: I am so proud of you, Ma'am Pentious. That was amazing. That was beautiful work!
Miss Pentious: Thank you. Thank you. You like me. You really like me!
(Angel heads upstairs, in her room, she throws the trenchcoat in her pet pig and flops in bed with her phone and plays voice messages from Valentina)
(Voicemail beeps)
Valentina: (In voicemail) Angela, baby, come home. It's not the same without you here. I miss you, vome back. (Shouting) Angela you bitch, if you don't come home, you will fucking greasy truckers for the next year...(In another voicemail) Hey, amorcita, I didn't mean to yell, but you know how crazy you make me f...You fucking slut! (Friendly) Hey, Angie, about earlier...Kill your whole fucking fam...Work's really stressful...Little cocksucking piece of shit...You actually think you can change? Addict trash like you doesn't change. I'll see you soon, baby.
(A red smoke from Angela's phone and surrounds him)
Angela: Sorry. Not now, Fat Nuggets. (Leaves her pig in the bed and leaves the room, she's seem grabbing a bottle at the bar and drinks it while walking) Ahh...
(A sillouette disappears in other room, following it, Angela looks through a door and see Miss Pentious putting a camera between some books and opens the doors)
Angela: You slippery little shit!
(Miss Pentious screams)
Angela: You're working for the Vees? I fucking knew there was something shitty about you.
Miss Pentious: I don't know what you're talking about...Whorebug!
(Angela knocks Miss Pentious down and starts punching her in the face, they both roll on the floor and she is left holding the snake woman)
Miss Pentious: Get your aggressively average body, off of me! (Hipnotizes Angela who backs up)
Angela: Fuck! (Shakes the hipnoze off) (Growls)
(Vagner and Charles show up with their pajamas)
Charles: (Yawn) What's going on?
Angela: This little bitch is a traitor!
Miss Pentious: Preposterous, I would never betray you. You...Are my best friends! (Hugs Vagner and Charles)
Angela: Uh-uh. Then explain this. (Show the camera between the books on the shelf)
Miss Pentious: Ah! Ah! Abort! Abort! S.O.S. Angent Pentious in need of immediat evacuation!
(Pentious' watch shows Vix)
Vix: Pentious?...Wait...You were caught?! (Laughing) It hasn't even been a day!
Miss Pentious: Please, you got to get me put of here!
Vix: I can't believe we thought you could handle even something this simple. Do us a favor, if they don't kill you, go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure!
Miss Pentious: (Crying) I...I...Just make it quick, I guess. (Take off her watch and lie down on the floor) Not that I deserve it.
Vagner: Gladly.
Charles: Wait. (Stands her hand) Pentious?
(Pentious raises her head)
Charles: (Singing) It starts with sorry! (Pentious washes her tears away) Charles: That's your foot in the door. One simple sorry. (Puts his hand in her chest) Spoken straigbt from your core. The path to forgivness is a twisting trail of hearts, but sorry is where it starts!
Miss Pentious: (Singing) Who could forgive a dirtbag like me? I don't deserve your amnesty!
Vagner and Angela: (Singing) Can't we just kill her? Shoot her and spill her blood?
Charles: That's an option you could choose.
Vagner and Angela: Works for us!
Charles: But who hasn't been in her shoes? It starsts with (Pulls Miss Pentious) sorry!
Miss Pentious: Sorry!
Charles: Dig down deeper and say one sincere sorry!
Miss Pentious: I'm so sorry!
Charles: And your journey's underway!
Charles and Miss Pentious: It'll take time to cover youmy vast multitude of sins! But sorry is where it begins!
(Fireworks explode Miss Pentious' old sins)
Miss Pentious and Charles: It starts with sorry!
(Niffter is seem at the door)
Niffter: I hated that song! Why are you so lame? (Kicks Miss Pentious) You're not a bad girl! (Walks away angry)
Charles: (Sighs) Good first day. Let's get some rest.
(Everyone walk out of the room, but Alice's teeth and eyes glow in the dark, she enters the room and gets the watcher)
Vix: What?!
Alice: You'll have to try harder then that next time, old pal! (Breaks the watcher)
(Vix screams distorted and Alice laughs diabolically and leaves the room)
(The ending credits start playing)

Hello! I am a 33 female who is a mom to 2 boys, i am married! I live in the USA. I am shy and kinda awkward. I have hyperfixations. I do have ADHD and a learning disability and probably dyscalculia.
I love cartoons (some of my favorites are invader zim, rugrats, Angry Beavers, jimmy Neutron, grim adventures of Billy and mandy, Code Lyoko, Ed edd n eddy and etc! (I do love 90s- 2004 cartoons), anime (Bleach is my favorite but I like yu yu hakusho, death note, high school of the dead, Dr stone and etc) music (my favorite Band is Marianas Trench but I listen to pretty much everything) disney (my all time favorite disney movie is A Goofy movie but I love coco and encanto alot and others)
If you have anything in common, you are welcome to message me!
I am shy and awkward and will try to message you back.
please be respectful that I'm only looking for friends.

What if I made Love & Theft an 1 Hour Animation. Here are the characters in this animation (including the ones in the blue part)

1. Dumbo.
   1. Eek the Cat.
   2. Magilla Gorilla.
   3. Bandolero.
   4. Fanboy from Fanboy & Chum Chum.
   5. Cueio.
   6. A Rabbid.
   7. Butthead.
   8. Batman.
   9. Pinkie Pie.
   10. Winnie the Pooh.
   11. Optimus Prime.
   12. Hello Kitty.
   13. The Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared trio.
   14. Charlie Brown.
   15. Tigger.
   16. Roger Rabbit.
   17. Superman.
   18. Beavis.
   19. Mordecai and Rigby.
   20. Clarence.
   21. Saint Seiya.
   22. Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har.
   23. Presto the Magician.
   24. Mabel Pines and Waddles.
   25. He-Man.
   26. Darkwing Duck.
   27. Mighty Mouse.
   28. Elroy Jetson.
   29. Patty Rabbit.
   30. David the Gnome.
   31. Do-Your-Best Bear.
   32. Vicky the Viking.
   33. Naruto.
   34. Wil E. Coyote.
   35. Chuckie Finster.
   36. Road Runner.
   37. Delfy.
   38. Lincoln Loud.
   39. Bernard Bear.
   40. Donatello.
   41. Dr. Zitbag.
   42. Dartacan.
   43. Finn and Jake.
   44. No Face.
   45. Totoro.
   46. Thomas the Tank Engine.
   47. Hank Hill.
   48. Tommy Pickles.
   49. Reptar.
   50. Blooter from Poppets Town.
   51. Mike Wazowski.
   52. Shrek.
   53. Lightning McQueen.
   54. Woody and Buzz Lightyear.
   55. Elliott the Dragon.
   56. Gumball Watterson.
   57. Darwin Watterson.
   58. Anais Watterson.
   59. The Cat in the Hat.
   60. Po Ping.
   61. The Penguins of Madagascar.
   62. Pingu.
   63. Noisy from Little Robots.
   64. Scrooge McDuck (reboot version only).
   65. Snap from ChalkZone.
   66. Blue from Rainbow Friends (Cartoon Games version only).
   67. Pike from Pike’s Lagoon.
   68. Sammy from Loose Ends.
   69. Mugman.
   70. Flower from Plancy’s World.
   71. Mametchi.
   72. Lucho.
   73. Moth from Patchwork Pals.
   74. Bellybutton.
   75. Matthew Littlemore.
   76. Peppino.
   77. Matías.
   78. Moomin.
   79. Mafalda.
   80. Asterix.
   81. Wallace & Gromit.
   82. Alfred E. Neuman.
   83. Bakabon’s Papa.
   84. Carly (Bitty Big Heads version only).
   85. Oggy.
   86. Frumplequest.
   87. Kevin from Up.
   88. Doggy D. Dachshund.
   89. Danger Mouse.
   90. Crispo and Albert.
   91. The Creepy World Island versions of Jeff the Killer, SlenderMan and Smile Dog.
   92. Fritz the Cat.
   93. Beetlejuice (animated version only).
   94. Ronald McDonald (animated version only).
   95. Gombby.
   96. Doogal and Florence (CGI versions only).
   97. Tadeo Jones.
   98. Tom from Tom and the Slice of Bread with Strawberry Jam and Hunny.
   99. Dinky Little.
   100. Mickey Mouse.
   101. Arthur Read.
   102. Woody Woodpecker.
   103. Pomni and Caine.
   104. Jimmy Neutron.
   105. The Giraffe from Guillermo Mordillo.
   106. Popeye.
   107. Robin (TTG version only).
   108. Steven Universe.
   109. Dick Dastardly.
   110. Muttley.
   111. Fred Flintstone.
   112. Snoopy.
   113. Tintin.
   114. Ladybug.
   115. Lucky Luke.
   116. Mr. Magoo.
   117. Dash Kappei.
   118. Pikachu.
   119. Goku.
   120. Alfred J. Kwak.
   121. Doraemon.
   122. Underdog.
   123. Bob and Larry.
   124. Leafy.
   125. GIR (in his dog suit).
   126. Wally Gator.
   127. Roger Smith.
   128. Marco.
   129. Pak from The Fruitties.
   130. Maya the Bee.
   131. Lion-O.
   132. Top Cat.
   133. Yogi Bear.
   134. Spinelli.
   135. Goliath from Gargoyles.
   136. Salad Fingers.
   137. Baby Huey.
   138. Tom & Jerry.
   139. The Powerpuff Girls.
   140. Garfield.
   141. Courage the Cowardly Dog.
   142. Sylvester Pussycat.
   143. Ralph Wiggums.
   144. Stitch.
   145. Dora and Boots.
   146. Heidi and Pedro.
   147. Pumuki.
   148. Tutu.
   149. Bluey.
   150. Peppa Pig.
   151. Kim Possible.
   152. Zuma from Paw Patrol.
   153. Cleo (30’s version only).
   154. Freakazoid.
   155. A Smurf.
   156. Bender.
   157. Inspector Gadget.
   158. Obelix.
   159. The Warner Siblings.
   160. Kaeloo.
   161. Allstar and Casey.
   162. Willy Fog.
   163. Bugs Bunny.
   164. Ranma.
   165. Donald Duck.
   166. Charizard.
   167. Dudley Do-Right.
   168. Dexter.
   169. Shin-chan and Shiro.
   170. Tarepanda.
   171. Rilakkuma.
   172. Snagglepuss.
   173. Pink Panther.
   174. Goofy.
   175. Homer Simpson.
   176. Clemente.
   177. Baby Lamb and Belle Butterfly.
   178. Ren & Stimpy.
   179. Chuck (Angry Birds Toons version only).
   180. Mario.
   181. Pato from Pocoyo.
   182. Daria.
   183. Greg Heffley.
   184. Tweety Bird.
   185. Sonic the Hedgehog.
   186. Karl Ojisan.
   187. Spider-Man.
   188. Dusty Crophopper.
   189. Perry the Platypus/Agent P.
   190. PaRappa the Rapper.
   191. Captain Underpants.
   192. Anpanman.
   193. Peter Pan.
   194. Lum Invader.
   195. Sailor Moon.
   196. Star Butterfly.
   197. Scooby-Doo.
   198. Cow & Chicken.
   199. Marsupilami.
   200. SpongeBob SquarePants.
   201. Bakii.
   202. Bob the Builder and Scoop.
   203. Simba.
   204. Cuddles.
   205. A Minion.
   206. Atom Ant.
   207. Casper the Friendly Ghost.
   208. Yo Yo Flamingo.
   209. Taichi Yagami.
   210. Johnny and Plank.
   211. Stacy Stickler.
   212. Nemo.
   213. Orange and Green from Rainbow Friends (Cartoon Games versions only).
   214. DogDay.
   215. Calvin and Hobbes.
   216. Tow Mater.
   217. Captain King.
   218. Voltron.
   219. Mazinger Z.
   220. Sheep.
   221. Weegee and Impaeegee (on his baby carriage).
   222. Blue and Pink from Dick Figures.
   223. Lisa Simpson.
   224. The Three Twins.
   225. Oliver Atton.
   226. Mr. Bean (animated version only).
   227. Dr. Zoidberg.
   228. Johnny Bravo.
   229. The Spies from Spy Vs. Spy.
   230. Luxo Jr., André, Tin Toy, and Knick Knack.
   231. Eric Cartman.
   232. Kyle Broflovski.
   233. Stan Marsh.
   234. Kenny McCormick.
   235. Heathcliff.
   236. Gaturro.
   237. Speedy Gonzales.
   238. Kogepan.
   239. Incibot.
   240. Flapjack.
   241. Pinky and the Brain.
   242. Barrancas and Trancas.
   243. Nibbler.
   244. Chilly Willy.
   245. Bloo.
   246. Huckleberry Hound.
   247. Hokey Wolf.
   248. Nigel Uno/Numbuh 1.
   249. Roary the Racing Car.
   250. The zebra from Animanimals.
   251. Quick Draw McGraw.
   252. Ben Tennyson (Ben 10: Alien Force version only).
   253. Tony from Bondi Band.
   254. Pocoyo.
   255. Rocky and Bullwinkle.
   256. Rescue Rangers.
   257. Felix the Cat.
   258. Norakuro.
   259. Paolo the Cat, Mavis the Pony and The Small Green Thing.
   260. Naranjito, Imarchi, Clementina, and Citronio.
   261. Betty Boop.
   262. Peter Griffin.
   263. Rocko.
   264. Poochee and Pansy.
   265. Daffy Duck.
   266. Botillo.
   267. Elmo.
   268. A from Alphabet Lore.
   269. B from Alphabet Lore.
   270. C from Alphabet Lore.
   271. D from Alphabet Lore.
   272. E from Alphabet Lore.
   273. F from Alphabet Lore.
   274. G from Alphabet Lore.
   275. H from Alphabet Lore.
   276. I from Alphabet Lore.
   277. J from Alphabet Lore.
   278. K from Alphabet Lore.
   279. L from Alphabet Lore.
   280. M from Alphabet Lore.
   281. N from Alphabet Lore.
   282. O from Alphabet Lore.
   283. P from Alphabet Lore.
   284. Q from Alphabet Lore.
   285. R from Alphabet Lore.
   286. S from Alphabet Lore.
   287. T from Alphabet Lore.
   288. U from Alphabet Lore.
   289. V from Alphabet Lore.
   290. W from Alphabet Lore.
   291. X from Alphabet Lore.
   292. Y from Alphabet Lore.
   293. Z from Alphabet Lore.
   294. 1 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   295. 2 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   296. 3 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   297. 4 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore. (Unreleased)
   298. Spotty Leonard
   299. Eggy from CRITORA
   300. Handy (appears again in the screaming Andreas mouse-looking character part but with handy and has the face of his “screaming face” from Don’t Yank My Chain.)
   301. Giggles
   302. Lumpy
   303. The Mole
   304. The Cat that got ran over by Mole’s Car (it appears in the “really heavy metal part” with his fangs being sharper and his bigger eye pupils replaced with bloodshot eyes.)
   305. Flumpty Bumpty
   306. BBB
   307. Grunkfuss
   308. McGruff Dog
   309. Unnamed Drug Dealer from Drawings in NCPC (appears again in the heavy metal part with evil smile)
   310. Gingerbread/Giant Teddy Bear (appears first as normal then in the really heavy metal part it uses his true form face.
   311. FroseHomeless
   312. Pouli/Tom Pelican
   313. Ratte/Ricky
   314. Spugna/Cheesehead (Appears normal at first then at the really heavy metal part it has the face of its true form and appears in the mashed up characters part as well.)
   315. Pibby
   316. BunBun
   317. Buggy
   318. Mailman Moe
   319. Croc
   320. Firey
   321. Bubble
   322. Four
   323. X from BFB
   324. The Domestos Germs
   325. MAD Characters (including the fanmade ones from fanmade parodies such as world war edd.)
   326. Zoonomaly Monsters
   327. Caught On Camera Monsters
   328. The Girl from Hello by Muffin Songs
   329. The Orange & Lemon Mascots from A Love Story by Chipotle
   330. Marylin B Worm
   331. VAL
   332. Sincomics Green Square
   333. Crown
   334. Bandaid
   335. Fish from DCTF
   336. Rage Comic Faces
   337. Heavy from Team Fortress
   338. Sans
   339. Dead Memes
   340. Frisk
   341. Undertale Bosses
   342. Red (Angry Birds)
   343. Godzilla
   344. Ghidorah
   345. Minecraft Mobs
   346. BOES
   347. Backrooms Entities
   348. B-Day
   349. GOB Mascots AND MORE!

Hello! I am a 33 female who is a mom to 2 boys, i am married! I live in the USA. I am shy and kinda awkward. I have hyperfixations. I do have ADHD and a learning disability and probably dyscalculia.
I love cartoons (some of my favorites are invader zim, rugrats, Angry Beavers, jimmy Neutron, grim adventures of Billy and mandy, Code Lyoko, Ed edd n eddy and etc! (I do love 90s- 2004 cartoons), anime (Bleach is my favorite but I like yu yu hakusho, death note, high school of the dead, Dr stone and etc) music (my favorite Band is Marianas Trench but I listen to pretty much everything) disney (my all time favorite disney movie is A Goofy movie but I love coco and encanto alot and others)
If you have anything in common, you are welcome to message me!
I am shy and awkward and will try to message you back.
Please be 18+, please, and please be respectful that I'm only looking for friends.

Hey everyone!
First of all I want to apologize because I don´t want anyone to feel disrespected or that I am being ungrateful: I am thankful for the work opportunity I got in Belgium and to be able to have some quality of life here.
With that being said: I am absolutely hating living here.
I live Gent. I hate it so much. I hate how it feels small and crowded at the same time, I hate how it is dominated by student life, I hate the center, the irregular and bad walking paths. I hate how every store is closed after 6 pm and how everything is closed on Sundays (like how am I supposed to buy anything having a fulltime job). Eating out and every hobbie is expensive as fuck. I hat how there are very few cultural activities and really almost zero in English (I have been learning Dutch for a year now and it is very hard but I am trying I swear).
I don't know what I was thinking. I always liked huge cities but it was mainly the housing crisis that pushed me to Belgium and to Gent. But everything here is making me dread my day to day life. I used to live in a capital city in other country and I miss it everyday (even though I had ZERO life quality there due to how expensive housing was).
But my question is... Is my problem with Gent or with Belgium? Is it worth trying to live in Brussels or Antwerp? Perhaps it is just the culture here in Belgium: people don't enjoy very active never sleeps sort of cities, they don't like going to shops at evening, they don't enjoy activities except very local stuff or going in a bike trip.
Work culture is also so strange for me. Everything feels so inorganic between colleagues. We are friendly, but not friends. Any sort of interaction needs to be a big event, often after hours. More than often I have felt the barrier of personal space invaded, in a nosy way and not in a positive one. Was already backstabbed once. Apparently I am also expected to bring food which is also culturally odd for me.
Anyway, I feel really sad and frustrated right now. Every day I feel without energy, and just want to eat and sleep. Have no money or time for hobbies, feel stuck in these small cities. Please don't take it personally, I see a lot of people happy with life here and it is good that you find joy and fulfillment in the culture you grew up with and fortunately Belgium (unlike my country of origin) does offer conditions for people to stay and build life where they grew up in. I like how even with minimum wage people here are able to have a decent life, I like how organized things are, public transport is far from perfect but it is good enough.
I just... Feel out of place and feel like it is impossible to fit in.
I am lost.

Is there any Invader Zim pins or bags for sale or were they like limited edition? I only found loungefly recently and I didn’t know they had the stuff. Missed out big time 😭

The other day I commented on a thread in the community about the fact that Target is rolling back on their pride products in stores this year. I suggested getting pride products from LGBTQ+ community directly. As a queer person I wanted to share some of the artists/small businesses from the community! Feel free to share more.
Pridemaille Jewelry by RM Jewelry These chainmail pieces are such a fun play on flag designs. Plus they're such good quality, which I really appreciate.
Ash & Chess Queer artist power couple specializing in graphic design with printed shirts, cards, stickers, and even books. They were featured at Target last year for Pride, but did not return in 2024.
The Peach Fuzz This one is for my fellow bumper sticker girlies. Lots of fun pride stickers and more jewelry.
Bianca Designs Lots of sleek pride apparel! Pins, shirts, patches, hats, and home goods. I love how the products are sorted into groups like "Spooky & Queer" and "Gaymer."
Strawberry Prism on Etsy The vintage style pride pins are so cute I want them alllllll.

Some of my fav shows are The Owl House, Gravity Falls, and Invader Zim.
I have been obsessed with these shows for so long! (Mostly GF and IZ as i found them in 2012 and been obsessed till this day) I always find myself being insanely upset when I finish that show and be met with reality.
I will try and do irl stuff like going outside, hanging with friends, or anything but nothing makes me truly happy like these shows. The characters, the world, the mission, the story! I crave that other wordily mission, to feel like I can belong with MY people.
I grew up being pushed away and forgotten, I never had many friends growing up so I turned to fiction to fill that void, now i'm 19 soon 20 and this need to fill the void has only grew, i thought things would settle down later in life but turns out I might be depressed forever

Sorry for the delay everyone, I had a loss in the family and needed to take some time with loved ones. Decompressed and back in the saddle now to resume regular posting.
[First Chapter]
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​
Chapter 22
Ana
The first time she opened her eyes, it was to a soft, pillowy comfort, the kind that made her want to tuck the duvet right up to her chin and go back to sleep no matter what responsibilities awaited. Dull grey light and a plain ceiling. There were sounds too, but they floated in and out of earshot as if on clouds, dulled like a conversation from an adjoining room one moment, then uncomfortably loud, like someone was speaking directly into her ear the next. She closed her eyes and the warmth carried her off again.
The second time she woke, things were sharper. There were edges to the tiles of the ceiling above her head and the comfortable fuzziness had lessened, giving way to the dull aching onset of a vicious headache. Her limbs were heavy, weighted anchors dragging down her swimming skull and pinning her to the seafloor of the bed.
This is… wait, what happened?
She remembered the smell of the barbecue, and arriving at the door to the journalist’s suite, and then… a sharper throb of pain rippled up the front of her skull from her temples and she winced.
Movement. She turned her head slowly so as not to provoke another stab of pain.
A kespan in a white outfit sat some ten feet away to her right. She was perched on a strange metal seat, and when she noticed Ana’s stare she directed it over, gliding across the floor towards the bed with a low humming sound. There was a symbol on her breast pocket, one that Ana recognized from her medical exams. A doctor, then.
The pieces of the puzzle started to click, and Ana propped herself up, the sheets below her crinkling softly. How is it that even with all their advanced technology, hospital beds still feel the same as on Earth?
“Specialist Cardoso?” The kespan peered down at her and Ana squinted back. “I’m Doctor Scytha. You gave us all quite the scare you know.”
“I really don’t…”
“I’ll go over everything that happened with you in just a moment, but first I need to know, are you in any pain? I understand you hit your head on the way down.”
“Just a headache,” Ana flinched as another jab of pain radiated across her skull.
“I can get you something for that if you’d like,” the doctor offered. “We’ve ruled out a concussion, but I daresay you’ll be feeling somewhat delicate anyway.”
She was about to agree but paused before the words could leave her lips. Through the lingering haze of whatever they’d had her on while she was unconscious, a tiny niggling feeling in the back of her mind was making itself known.
“No, I… I’m okay for now,” she rasped instead, her throat like dusty sandpaper. “What happened? How long have I been out? Where am I?” She held up a hand, feeling at the side of her head, where the worst of the ache was coming from. A strange smoothness greeted her probing touches.
“You have a minor contusion,” Doctor Scytha explained. “The dressing should stay on for at least a day, but we’ve treated the injury with…” she trailed off, a conflicted expression flickering across her face. “Well, we’ve treated it with something that should help it close much faster. It will be fully healed before you know it.”
“Come on doc,” Ana raised an eyebrow on the side of her face that wasn’t obscured by the strange bandage. “I’m curious. What did you treat me with?”
The doctor’s lips pursed beneath her muzzle, and her eyes flicked away. “Artificial cells. We can program them to—”
“Nanobots,” Ana deadpanned, and the doctor grimaced. “You treated me with nanobots.”
“While they do share some characteristics, the applications…”
“Whatever,” Ana cut her off. “I’m not in the mood to discuss semantics, and I‘ve got enough of a headache already to unpack that. Just tell me where I am please.”
“You’re still aboard the She-Serves-With-Honor,” the doctor supplied, relaxing visibly at the change of topic. “It’s been roughly eight hours since you were found. I’m told that you were carried here by that cute reporter boy who’s been stealing the hearts of every serving woman aboard. Lucky you.” She pulled a tab in the side of her chair and a small screen sprang out on a moveable arm. “I’m sure you’re also interested in learning what happened, yes?”
“That was going to be my next question,” Ana grunted, pulling herself upright and noticing for the first time as she did the opaque tube that ran from her forearm down under the bed. Sitting up turned out to be a mistake though, as when she did manage to raise her head the room spun and her stomach turned. She begrudgingly lowered herself again.
“Well, we’re not quite sure ourselves,” the doctor said, her eyes glancing between the screen on her chair and a space on the other side of the room. Ana shifted, ignoring the discomfort until she could peer over towards the door to where the doctor’s eyes had gone, taking stock of her surroundings as she did.
Two uniformed guards were standing there, one on either side of the door. They stood stock still, gazing back at her— no, at the doctor, with measured stares. Three blazes of red shone from each of their outfits at the cuffs and collars, sparkling brightly even in the dim overhead lights.
The room itself was on the smaller side, with her cot the middle of three in the room. The other two beds were empty. They were here for her then.
“Pretty tight security for a ship hospital,” she remarked. “I know I’m new to this whole ‘alien army’ thing, but somehow I don’t think the Garrison stands watch over all of your patients.”
“They are here because I am here, Specialist,” a smooth voice sounded out, and Ana turned her head further, towards the back corner of the room. A severe-looking woman sat there, medals softly shining in the dim light, a crisply ironed, angular hat resting on her knees. She stood as Ana gaped at her.
“Vice Admiral Kel’rek, ma’am.” She tried to raise a hand into the chest-high salute of the kespan military, but her head throbbed again, and the niggling feeling in the back of her brain only grew in magnitude, so the result was a sloppy flapping motion. Ana frowned, staring down at her uncooperative limbs.
“At ease, Specialist,” the Admiral waved a hand dismissively. “You’ve had a rough night. What do you remember?”
It might have been the drugs, but something about the way she asked the question made the hairs on the back of Ana’s neck stand on end. By the doorway, the soldier’s attention had shifted. Now they were staring at her.
“Not much ma’am,” she answered, ignoring the insistent tug of her hindbrain. “Just walking down the corridor, arriving at the door to the suite, and then nothing. Did something happen?”
“We were hoping you could tell us,” the doctor chimed in, with a respectful nod to the Admiral, who had sat back to rub at her chin. “Your scans came back clear, your bloodwork was unremarkable and your toxicology report shows you’re clean, no known contaminants. Although,” she hesitated, and the Admiral shot her a sharp look. “It’s possible that we missed something. We don’t know everything there is to know about Ervamir yet. It could be that something specific to humans eluded our scans.”
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time, Ana thought bitterly, something red and hot churning in her gut and threatening to spill over. She quashed it, but barely. Strange, I haven’t been this quick to anger since before… she cut that thought short too. It must be the drugs.
“Failing that though, what is your prognosis doctor?” the Admiral asked— no, seriously, why is she in the room? Has she been here the whole time? “Nothing too dire, I hope? It wouldn’t do to lose our first human soldier to an unknown illness.”
First human soldier. Her. How long had it been since that idea made her blood boil like it did now? She felt it return, the same dark crawling feeling that had curled up to nest inside her when she accepted the alien’s offer some six months prior. Back then it had been hunger that forced her hand. A choice between flinging herself on the mercy of the cartels or working with the invaders. I thought I’d left this feeling behind.
The doctor hummed, head still buried in the tablet. “New species often exhibit psychological distress in response to their first exposure to space,” she said hesitantly. “The media presence and press conference, followed by an interview on the same day may simply have been too much. If there are no further physiological symptoms, then the episode may have been stress-induced.”
Ana’s eyebrow twitched. “Respectfully doc,” she managed a forced smile. “Like most humans, I think I’ve been through things a lot more psychologically challenging than staring out a window and answering some questions. I’ve never seen any of the women back home experience anything like what just happened to me.”
The doctor avoided her eyes. “Compounding trauma could make this kind of event more likely, but again, we don’t know enough about human psychology to make a proper assessment. All I know is the scans are clean.” She looked up, but it was the Admiral whose gaze she met rather than Ana’s. “I’m prescribing plenty of rest. She should be off active duty for at least a week, preferably planetside.”
“I’m sure that can be arranged,” Admiral Kel’rek stood, and her guards moved to flank her. “You heard the doc, Specialist, I’ll make the necessary arrangements. In the meantime, I believe your squadmates are anxious to hear from you.” She raised an eyebrow at the doctor, who nodded. “I’ll have word sent that you’re awake.” She took a step towards the door.
“And the journalist, ma’am?” Ana asked.
The Admiral turned back to her and tilted her head slightly. “What about him, Specialist? I hope you’re not considering giving an interview from your hospital bed. I’m afraid that might give off the wrong impression.” She spoke with a light tone, but the look she directed Ana’s way was firm.
“I just wanted to apologize for not making our appointment,” Ana insisted. “And maybe arrange a new time, once I’m given the all-clear.”
The Admiral hesitated, just for a microsecond, but it was enough to be noticeable. “I’ll have word sent. You should be aware that he’ll be on the next shuttle with the rest of the media. It’s unlikely that you’ll get a chance to see him in person.”
“You could send me with them,” Ana suggested, and the Admiral shot her an incredulous look, her hand poised to open the door. “Ma’am,” she amended, lowering her eyes to the floor in what she hoped passed for submission. “If I’m going to be recovering planetside anyway, it would be an opportunity for us. To show the galaxy how humans and the Imperium can co-exist, I mean. I’m sure that any good reporter would accept.”
She peered up to watch the wheels turn in the Admiral’s head. Finally, the cat woman stepped away from the door to regard her properly.
“You wouldn’t prefer to recuperate in your home country?” she asked, probing. “The media is bound for the largest island in the South, the one we are currently in orbit over. It’s a green zone, but I would have thought you’d be more comfortable in a familiar setting.”
“Australia?” Ana’s eyes widened slightly, and some genuine excitement leaked into her voice. “I’ve always wanted to visit. I hear it’s a great place to relax. And actually,” she let her tone grow rueful, “I have a slightly… checkered history with my home country now. A lot of baggage. It might be better if I didn’t return for a while, especially if I need to stay low-stress.”
The Admiral raised an eyebrow at the doctor, who nodded. When she turned back to Ana though, she still didn’t appear convinced. “That would put me in a difficult position Specialist,” she said. “If I crammed you into a shuttle with two dozen members of the press less than a day after a serious medical emergency I’d be strung up, even more than I already am just for being here.” She shook her head. “I can’t put you on that ship.”
Ana lowered her eyes again. “I understand ma’am. That’s unfortunate. I was hoping that the interview might make a difference. Show people that cooperation is possible.”
The woman hesitated, and her eyes bore holes into Ana’s own. Then she cocked her head. “However…”
“Yes ma’am?”
“I can arrange transport for tomorrow. We’ll be slightly out of shuttle range by then, but a larger ship could make the journey. Specialist,” she maintained the same intense eye contact, and Ana held it. “I don’t think I need to impress on you the importance of your role here. We all want what’s best for humanity, and the sooner we can get your people on board, the sooner Ervamir… the sooner Earth can be made whole again. I’m expecting a good interview, even if it means a prolonged leave period. Are we clear?”
“Clear ma’am,” Ana managed the salute this time. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Very good. As you were then, get some rest.”
Ana breathed a sigh of relief as the woman exited, the garrison members following her out. To her slight surprise, she noticed the doctor breathe a similar sigh, and filed the information away for later. Maybe she was the sort of commander who rode her troops hard. It was strange; she’d never been given that impression.
An hour went by, and Ana drifted in and out of sleep several times, each time waking up slightly sharper than before, though her headache kept growing. She was offered the painkillers again but declined. Years of soldiering in the South American jungle had taught her to trust her instincts, and hers had been screaming through the fog ever since she’d first awoken that morning. Something didn’t feel right, and she needed to be clear-headed to figure out what. She was feeling less collected now than she had been for months, and somehow, at the same time, more herself.
Maybe the doc is right and I’m just a bit fucked in the head, she thought.
Just as the headache had reached the point where she was beginning to question that decision, a polite rap came from the door. The doctor’s chair hummed across the floor to answer, and a moment later, a fuzzy face peered in overtop two smaller figures.
“You’re awake!” Banta’s voice boomed across the room, and the doctor made a frantic shushing noise. “Oops, sorry.”
The small group piled into the room, and Ana smiled through the throbbing pain as Vrina and Sergeant Rea’ar’s faces also came into view.
“Specialist,” her NCO greeted her. “I trust you’re on the improve?”
“Ma’am,” Ana inclined her head slightly.
“A little bird told me that you’re to be stationed planetside for a time,” she frowned.
“Yes ma’am,” Ana replied. “Sorry for the inconvenience ma’am.”
“It’s no matter,” the sergeant’s expression was unreadable. “The rest of the fire team sends their well wishes.”
“What she means by that is that the duradians don’t think you’ll die,” Banta grinned. “They’ve got some… quirks… regarding illness. Very pragmatic.”
“You can tell them that I appreciate their confidence then,” Ana replied, and what might have been the ghost of a smile graced the sergeant's face before disappearing abruptly.
“You’ve put me in a slightly difficult position here, specialist,” Rea’ar said. “I’ve been asked to leave one of my troops to watch over you in case your condition deteriorates. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem, but assigning one of the duradians to your care would be a bad fit. I thought to send Singer alone, but…”
Banta stiffened. “Ma’am—” she started before Rea’ar held up a hand.
“Yes, yes, I know Corporal, save it. You’re both going. I’ve arranged for you to be assigned to a posting on the surface, at one of our new consulates. Might as well make use of you while you’re down there.”
Banta relaxed visibly, and Ana looked between the three women in confusion.
“You two aren’t like, married or anything, are you?” she couldn’t help but ask, pointing between Banta and Vrina, and the pair balked. Vrina’s crest puffed out, and she spluttered, a strangled choking sound coming from her beak. Banta sniggered, and the sergeant’s eyebrows rose.
“I— wh— no!” clucked the Ulu, her chest feathers fluffing out like pins from a cushion. “What makes you think that?”
“Well apparently you’re attached at the hip,” Ana defended. “I’m not judging, just curious.
Sergeant Rea’ar held up both hands, absolving herself of the conversation. “I’m glad to hear you’re improving Specialist,” she said, heading for the door, and Ana watched in amazement as the woman who’d kept her cold demeanor throughout months of training and onboarding fled the scene. “I expect regular updates on your condition,” she opened the door and turned to the other two. “Don’t keep her up too long, she needs rest.” Then the door was closing behind her, and she was gone.
“What the fuck was that?” Ana breathed, looking back at Vrina, who was still prickling, and Banta, who was held under the stern glare of the doctor and trying to keep her giggling from devolving into full laughter. “Okay, come on, what is this?”
Banta pulled herself together and glanced over at Vrina, who was still doing her best impression of a taxidermized rooster. “Maybe we should—”
“Shut up,” Vrina tucked her head beneath her feathers, rubbing at her forehead with the ridge of a wing.
“I’m just saying, it’s not like she’ll think any differently of—"
“No.” The ulu held firm. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Hi, invalid here, not exactly in a position to judge,” Ana raised an arm. “I don’t mind if the two of you are—”
“It’s not that,” Vrina hissed, and Banta guffawed again, catching another warning tut from the doctor. “We’re old friends, nothing more.”
Banta stopped laughing, and looked at her askance, her mirth disappearing. “No lies, Vrin,” she said, disapprovingly. “It’s one thing to keep something to yourself, but it’s dishonorable to lie to a comrade. I’m telling her.”
Ana cocked her head. “Wait, so you are—”
“No,” both of them replied together, the ulu still hissing. “Banta, I swear to—"
“She’s more like… my employer?” the ursinian ventured, and Vrina’s eyes bugged out, a sound like a death rattle building in her throat.
“Corporal Banta, you will not say another word,” she spluttered and then recoiled in horror as the bear woman bowed her head low to the ground, saluting her.
“Of course, your majesty,” she replied with a grin, and Ana’s brain short-circuited.
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