Cuddly, Courageous, and Deadly.
Usually Destiny does a good job arguing with people, but wow I forgot just how brain dead Sneako is. He operates on like, level 1 argumentation:
1.) "Where do you derive your morality from if not God?"
1a.) This is an impossible answer to give, because there are push and pull factors contributing, every day, to what morality you either consciously or unconsciously subscribe to. Deferring to a deity, one that by the way was only translated by prophets and the like, seems equally or even more outlandish than from "school", as Sneako implies is wrong
2.) "You're allowed to be disgusted by something (homosexuality) and not hate it"
2.a) In common parlance, the distinction is negligible. If you are "disgusted" by something, most certainly you hate that thing. Disgust literally means you have a revulsion towards a thing. Colloquially speaking, if you are disgusted by say homosexuality, then you are pretty much saying you hate it.
3.) "Being gay is a choice"
3a.) Then logically, you have to concede that being straight is a choice too, which, if that were the case, then your "disgust" likely stems from bigotry.
4.) "It is the wrong feeling to not be attracted to the opposite sex"
4a.) Complete and utter arrogance to suggest as much. Furthermore, it is simply a ridiculous statement to make regarding anything, never mind sexual orientation
5.) "Pedophilia is wrong because God says its wrong"
5a.) Destiny's response was pretty much perfect. The fact Sneako hedged as soon as Destiny posited the "If God said it was okay to f*ck kids, you would change your mind on it tomorrow?", really just encapsulates that he has never thought about this more than 1 or 2 layers deep. Either that, or, he is a blatant grifter, which is probably the more correct answer actually.
There is more, but these are just some snippets I found crazy. When I read the title of the video, I did not expect him to get THAT cooked, but I guess that is what happens when you operate off level 1 talking points.
If you guys could help me figure out where I went wrong or what doesn't work with my load order I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm using an original xbox one with this set so maybe that is the problem too. Also does anyone know if I can move around the load order after the update or will that not be possible? Thanks everyone.
Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch [UFO4P] [XB1] 39.8 MiB
Armor and Weapon Keywords Community Resource (AWKCR) (XB1: All DLC) 3.6 MiB
FAR - Faraway Area Reform 210.6 MiB
DamnApocalypse - CORE 47.2 MiB
Insignificant Object Remover 9.3 KiB
BlurKiller Complete 388.4 KiB
Less Grass 40 Version 174.0 B
Fast Corpse Despawn 336.0 B
Place Anywhere [XB1] 120.6 KiB
Optimized Vanilla Textures - Main [XB1] 71.8 MiB
Voodoos Supermutant Replacer 8.3 KiB
Shadow Resolution 2048 to 512 10.6 KiB
Smoother Sun Shadow 249.0 B
DamnApocalypse - Combat 208.6 KiB
DamnApocalypse - Loot/Economy 4.4 MiB
Immersive Drumlin Diner xbox 76.3 KiB
Clearly Publick Occurrences [XBOX] 110.4 KiB
DamnApocalypse - Power Armor 476.7 KiB
DamnApocalypse - Meat Patch 6.6 KiB
SURVIVAL QUICK SAVE - No Sleep Till Bedtime [XB1] 6.9 KiB
Cheat Terminal [Xbox One] 6.1 MiB
interacion animations by Milan 203.05 MiB
Immersive Animation Framework by AnotherOne 27.7 MiB
Visible Weapons [XB1] 20.7 KiB
Savant perk audio updated to WOW! (XB1) 2.1 MiB
Sprint Reload 292.8 KiB
Face Texture Glitch Fix A 75.4 MiB
Valkyr Female Face Textures by Fuse00 2.0 MiB
Gorgeous Vault Girl [XB1] 2.4 KiBLoving Curie [XB1] 4.9 KiB
natasha face texture 2.07 MiB
[XB1] Ponytail Hairstyles by Azar v2.5a
Loving Curie [XB1] 4.9 KiB
Loving Cait [XB1] 7.6 KiB
Loving Piper [XB1] 2.6 KiB
Beautiful Female Settlers - Non-Replacer - Xbox Version 270.4 KiB
Reanimation Pack For SubmachineGun 14.1 MiB
Reanimation Pack for Combat Shotgun and Rifle 1.9 MiB
Revolver Reanimation Pack 5.2 MiB
Better double barrel shotgun sound 1.13 MiB
Double Barrel Shotgun Reload Animation Replacer 395.4 KiB
hitman47101's Animation Replacer Combo [XB1] 6.1 MiB
Radium Rifle Reload Reanimated 62.7 KiB
Knife Animation Pack 34.7 KiB
[XB1] Laser Rifle Reanimation 5.6 MiB
Post-apocalyptic Homade Weapons Replacer - Laser Musket 26.5 MiB
Bf1 Animations deliverer 6.89 MiB
Running with hands animations 26.20 KiB
[XB1] The Widow Shotgun 29.9 MiB
Cyberpunk 2077 Animation - 10mm Pistol 10.1 MiB
Just Visible Holstered Weapons by friffy [XB1] 138.0 MiB
Holsters and sheaths - Visible Weapons (weapon mods fix) by Altered Beast [XB1] 15.5 KiB
In-game Third Person Camera Config (XB1) 39.4 KiB
Much Better 3rd Person Animations Tactics [XB1] 34.7 MiB
Girly Animation [XB1] 20.2 MiB
(Official) Caliente's beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE- Curvy AIO 112.0 MiB
Mary Jane - Female Bodies Replacer 8.0 MiB
Classy Chassis Craftable Outfits (CBBE & AWKCR) 29.8 MiB
[XB1] Grease Rat Garbs - Mary Jane Body 62.7 MiB
Graf's Assaultron Armor (Automatron, CBBE, AWKCR) 1.4 MiB
GITS Motoko Kusanagi (CBBE)(1k) 26.2 MiB
Gunner Operator CBBE 77.2 MiB
Law Enforcers 67.0 MiB
the slinger 1k 9.32 MiB
[XB1] Vault 111 Suit with Pants. Optional Gloves. 89.7 MiB
Shoulder Bags 17.8 MiB
Unzipped Vault Suit (CBBE) 1.1 MiB
Vault Booty 5.2 MiB
locky luke's locky you 111.19 KiB
Boston - Less Enemies 151.0 KiB
Flashy(JoeR) - Gun For Hire - Mercenary Jobs 365.4 MiB
Amazing Follower Tweaks FO4 Edition 6.0 MiB
AFT ADDON - Use Original Spouse 4.8 KiB
My husband and I have quasi-combined finances - he works in IT and I work in health insurance. We both work from home full-time. We have one joint account for kid/household expenses and each have separate checking, savings and retirement accounts. We don’t have access to each others’ personal accounts, but are generally aware of the other’s spending/balances/expenses. I don’t know exact figures for all of his stuff, so I ballpark when I need to.
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $60,663.69 spread across two 401ks. I got a job with a 401k when I was 25 and pre-kids was pretty aggressive at contributing to it (17% for me + a 4% match from that job). I’m currently contributing 10% pre-tax, I started at 15% but with inflation and having another mouth to feed once my daughter started solids, I’ve bumped it down. It will go back up to 11% in July and once I hit 1 year at my job this spring, my new employer will match up to 5%. I also had 35% of my bonus contributed pre-tax which I kind of regret in the present day but my future self is probably jazzed. My husband has somewhere in the $150-$200k range in his 401k and then some more in a Roth, but I don’t remember how much.
Equity if you're a homeowner: Technically, my husband owns our home - I was pregnant and in grad school when we purchased in 2020, so we didn’t really know where I was headed careeincome-wise. He (we) have roughly $330k in equity in it - we got it for a (relative) steal in 2020 and were able to lock in a 3.5% interest rate. We paid $475,000 and were able to put $200,000 down as a downpayment because we’re very, very privileged. My husband took $50,000 from the sale of his first home and his parents gifted us the other $150,000 - at the time they said it was a loan, but we’ve brought up starting to pay it back and they said it was my husband’s inheritance early. I’m not from a family with the sort of financial assets to do something like this so it makes me feel both weird and lucky.
Savings account balance: $3,406.08 in my personal savings. Husband has roughly $100,000 in his (we know we should have this somewhere smartebetter but…haven’t done it yet cause we’re dumb)
Checking account balance: $776.82 in my personal, $542.14 in our joint. I don’t know my husband’s balance but he usually tries to keep between $2-$4,000 in there.
HSA: $628.76
Credit card debt: $1,895.29 - I use my card for almost everything to get points and lately am pretty good about paying the statement balance to avoid interest charges. I wasn’t always, but I got a new job about 9 months ago that came with a nice pay bump, which has helped. I do 2 payments a month, one from each check, and use my cash back as an additional payment. My husband has no credit card debt, he pays his balance in full each month.
Student loan debt: $47,394; $1,500 is an interest-free private loan from a local community organization, the rest are federal loans
My original total was $57,894.00 ($12,000 interest-free total, $45,894 federal), so that’s depressing since I’ve been making payments for 10 years on an Income-driven plan. However, at its highest, my balance was about $60k so I actually feel somewhat good about this number. I continued paying all through Covid interest rate pauses and grad school when my loans were in deferment, which is the first time I saw meaningful change in my balance. I lived at home for a few years after college, then moved into the house my then-boyfriend-now-husband owned, so not having any housing costs has allowed me to always focus on paying on my loans.
Roughly 40% was for a Bachelor’s in graphic design, the rest was for a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I’m not using either degree because I’m
an idiot a corporate sellout a mom who chose financial gain + work-life balance over a purposeful and important career. My husband has a Bachelor’s but no student loan debt - he did the financially-smart route of community college then commuting to a local state college and his parents paid for his (much cheaper) degree.
Car loan: $26,632.46 at 3.99%, 42 months remaining; I have some baggage around unreliable cars and unexpected auto expenses, so I leased for most of my adult life because it was worth the reduction in stress. When my lease was up in fall 2023, we wanted to upgrade to a 3-row SUV so we could fit both kids/car seats and our large dog in the car more comfortably. Rates were GARBAGE though and there was no advantage to leasing at all, plus the used inventory was shitty and overpriced so we decided to buy new. We put down $10,000 cash from savings and did a 4-year loan to get the lowest rate possible. This is “my car” but is really the family car. My husband drives a 2008 Jeep that he was gifted when his dad’s friend passed away - there’s no payment on it and it has very low mileage despite its age, so we’ll have it at least until we pay off my car if not longer. Once this car is paid off, we’ll see if we want to trade in the ’08 for something newer.
Personal net-worth: $-1,120.67 (this excludes my husband’s assets, like his savings and our home). I’ve never calculated this before and was excited to see it’s almost neutral/positive! My new job and annual bonus are definitely what pushed me to this spot. I’m sure it was much, much more negative in my late teens and twenties.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: After college, I worked as a graphic designer for about 5 years, starting at $34,000 and getting up to about $40,000. In 2018, I had a crisis of conscience and decided to go to grad school to become a therapist. I was going to be kicked off my parents’ health insurance and my job offered no benefits, so I decided to switch fields to my current industry “temporarily” so I could WFH during grad school and have grown up things like vision, dental, and a 401k. I found that I LOVED working from home (before it was even so prevalent!) and wow, it turns out that making good money makes life easier and less stressful.
The plan was to leave this field once I graduated in 2021 and become a therapist but…my life and the world changed a lot since I first enrolled. I had my first child 3 months before graduating and the prospect of taking a huge pay cut PLUS having my work-life balance go out the window was unappealing. I still have a few years before the door officially closes on my therapy aspirations but it seems unlikely I’ll change at this point. I grapple with this because I feel a little embarrassed/ashamed/like a bad person/financially dumb for all of this. But, I also have a really nice, comfortable, privileged life that I enjoy so… yeah.
I've been working in my current field for 6 years consistently, plus have an additional 4 years of on-and-off experience as an intern/contract worker. My starting salary in this field was $48,000. I worked at one company for about 5 years before leaving for my current company last spring. When I left my last job, I was making $80,000, so it was a huge pay jump to go to my current position. I honestly never thought I would make this kind of salary. When I was on my second maternity leave, my two work besties told me they were jumping ship to a bigger company with more resources and less drama. Eventually they convinced me to go with them. Things were sounding dire at my old job, so I planned to quit even if I didn’t land the new one. I would either be a SAHM for a bit or pursue therapy or look for something else entirely. I’m glad with how things turned out.
I’ve also taken 2 long (by US standards) partially-paid maternity leaves - one for 4 months, one for 6, both at about 80% of my salary, so my earnings those years were lower. They were both funded by my state and some PTO tacked on, not my job directly. I also owed a lot in taxes those years :(
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $5414.18 per month after deductions
$1,384.26 in deductions each month:
- $875 to my 401k
- $76.12 for family dental plan
- $423.48 for family medical
- $9.66 for vision for my husband and myself
Bonus: my position has an annual bonus structure of up to 15% depending on company and personal performance. This was paid out to me this month. It was pro-rated since I haven’t been there for a year and came out to just under $8,000, which blew my mind. I had 35% go to my 401k, ~30% went to taxes, and I used the rest to pay off a small but high-interest (6.8%) student loan.
I do not have my husband’s exact take-home, but he makes a little more than me and is on my health insurance, so I’d guess he’s in the $6,500 ballpark.
We have no side gigs or other income streams.
Section Three: Expenses Mortgage / HOA fees: My husband covers the mortgage, which is about $1,600/month. We have a laughable annual HOA fee of $200, which I pay.
Home + car insurance: we bundle insurance and pay for the whole year to get a 10% discount, it ends up being around $3k. Sometimes we split this, sometimes my husband pays it all. Just depends on my cash flow at the time.
Savings contribution: $400/month to my personal savings
Debt payments: $700 to student loans- $50 to the interest-free, which is the minimum; $650 federal. My husband does not contribute to my student loan payments.
Donations: $20.60/month, half to Educate Girls and half to Carbon 180
Electric: Variable from $225-$400 depending on the month. Woof. I pay this bill.
Propane (heat and hot water): we pre-buy yearly to (hopefully) get the best rate. We do $2,500 annually, which averages to $208 monthly. My husband pays this.
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $104.99 for wifi, my husband pays this. We are cable-less, we have an antenna and get basic channels and steal my in-law’s login to watch some stuff on the interwebs. We steal my mommy’s Netflix.
Cellphone: $33.85 for my line/phone. My husband’s is paid for through his job because he is “on-call” weekends and nights in case there’s an outage or some other issue (which happens a few times a year).
Subscriptions:
- Spotify: $10.99
- NYT: $4 - this is a promo price, I’ll cancel once it goes up
- Email: $6.38 - this is a throwback from when I was a designer and had my own email/web hosting. I cancelled my website hosting but have been too lazy to switch EVERYTHING from my paid email address to a free gmail one. Ugh.
- iCloud: $2.99
- Instacart+: $99/year
- Amazon prime: $139/year
- Substack: $45/year to a chef whose recipes I enjoy
Gym membership: $30/month for my husband’s membership
Monthly cleaning: $120, this includes a deep clean of the bathroom and kitchen, straightening/wipe down of the living room, and the floors on the first floor (vacuuming bedroom/living room, mopping kitchen/dining/foyer). I pay for this.
Pet expenses: ~$150/month. This includes food for 1 dog, 3 cats, litter, and 4 prescriptions for our dog (flea/tick, heart worm, allergy pills, and generic Prozac cause he’s an anxious boy). I pay for this.
Car payment: $684 - we have 60/40 split on this, with me paying more.
Paid hobbies: $150/month for weekly dance classes (2 for just me, 1 for me and the kids) + an additional $3-400/year for costumes. $150/year for a membership and weekly playgroups at our town’s children’s museum.
Preschool: $296 for 2 days of preschool per week for my son. They do not provide food or diapers. We split this from the joint account.
Childcare: we are exceedingly lucky to have family help + flexible jobs, so the preschool days mentioned above are our only childcare expense. We provide lunch to our moms when they help out and a few times a year try to do thank you gifts like massages, theater tickets, a nice dinner, etc.
Trash collection: $65.93 we have to do private trash and recycling pickup because it’s not a service our town offers. We split this from the joint account.
Kids misc. (diapers, clothes, health needs etc): ~$100/month.
Groceries: we average about $800/month for our family of 4. We get takeout 1-4 times a week, all other meals and snacks are eaten at home.
Section Four: Money Diary
Day 1 -
7:00 - I wake up in a good mood - I have 2 young kids (3 years and 1 year) and the entire family has been swapping two different sicknesses around the last 2 weeks. This is the first day where we’re all feeling 100% and it’s supposed to be a beautiful outside. My husband goes to the gym while the kids and I do breakfast and get dressed at home. At 10 am, we head to the local roller skating rink for their toddler skate hours, which my 3yo is very excited about. I have a coupon for $2 off admission because I’m a member of my town’s children’s museum, so this family outing only costs $7. Can’t beat that! ($7)
12 - After skating, my husband takes the baby home to nap and I take our older child with me to run errands. We stop by the post office to mail a bereavement gift to a friend who lost her dog ($6.50) and get gas ($44.42). It’s lunch time but I have more errands I want to do, so I decided my son and I will grab a bite out. We try to get hot dogs from a gas station but they’re out and my son can’t have anything else there because of his food allergies. We head to McDonald’s instead - he gets a happy meal, which he devours, plus 4 more nuggets. I get a QPwC. I cannot believe how much it costs, even with a 20% off code through the app. ($21.41)
My son takes his sweet time eating lunch and my husband asks us to head back so he can do yard work, so I don’t get to finish my errands which annoys me. I love being a mom but it’s hard not being able to just blow around in the breeze like I used to! When we get home, we play outside for a while. Around 3:30 I realize we don’t have a dinner plan, so the kids and I head to the grocery store. We buy sausage and chicken wings for dinner, strawberries, tomatoes, a corned beef that’s on sale for St. Patrick’s Day, Irish soda bread, rye bread and I grab a mini chocolate cream pie for myself ($50.14). We finish off the evening with dinner, watching a movie, and bedtime routines.
Daily total: $129.47 Day 2 - 6:45 - Our Sunday starts early but it’s a nice, slow start to the day. After getting the kids set up with breakfast, my husband heads to the gym. Both kids are kind of cranky, so we spend some time snuggling on the couch watching cartoons while I do some work tasks that take about 30 minutes. I don’t have to work weekends or overtime often, so I don’t mind when I have to do something like this. I make myself some coffee, bacon, and warm up 3 slices of Irish Soda Bread on the skillet with butter - my daughter then steals half of my breakfast. Sigh. She always steals my food but she’s very cute, so I can’t stay mad.
11 - Once my husband is back, I take my son to finish the errands we didn’t get to yesterday. We pick up some free clothes for the kids from my Buy Nothing group, then head to the store. We had a wedding to attend a few weeks ago that my husband needed clothes for, so now I’m returning what he didn’t use. I would have gotten about $75 back on my credit card, but the Marshall’s checkout aisle lures me in with its siren song. I buy 3 types of cleaners I’ve been meaning to replenish (carpet, tile, cooktop), so only $63.29 gets debited back to my account. I also meetup at the police station to sell a barely-used crib mattress and toddler bed to someone from Facebook marketplace, which gets me an additional $60 - the mattress was a gift and I only paid $50 for the bed, so that’s a $10 profit, cha-chiiiiiiing! We head home and the family scrounge’s leftovers from the fridge for lunch - it’s a free-for-all of hot dogs, sausage and peppers, ham sandwiches, and soup. I cook a lot during the week, so I like using weekend lunches to get a bit of a break.
After lunch, I put in some online orders I’ve been meaning to do. I place a Costco order through Instacart for household staples like paper products, frozen chicken nuggets, Greek yogurt, butter, maple syrup, frozen fruit, and add a new dog bed for our dog. I hate the fees Instacart comes with, but Costco is 30 minutes each way plus the hour+ I’d be inside shopping, so it’s an expense that’s worth the time I save every 4-6 weeks, at least at this point while my kids are so young ($361.35). Next, I order some Easter chocolates for my son’s basket. This is the first year he understands holidays and has been asking for chocolate bunnies and chocolate eggs, but he’s got a dairy allergy so I’ve been saying No a lot, which sucks. I learned about a company called No Whey that has allergy-friendly holiday chocolates - I’m excited and grateful products like this exist for my son, even if it comes at a premium price. I order a bunny, eggs, 3 chocolate pops, and a tube of what looks like non-dairy M&M’s ($38.81). Finally, I order my husband’s birthday present, a Galaxy Smartwatch. Now that we’re out of the baby fog, we’re both trying to prioritize our health more and he’s mentioned wanting one in passing, so I hope he likes it. I check the return policy and set a reminder for 1 week before the return window closes in case he doesn’t. The watch is on sale and I buy from a site that has 10% cash back with Rakuten, so I save about $70 ($327.24). Sadly, this online shopping has really offset the $10 profit I made earlier.
2 - I spend the rest of the afternoon doing chores like laundry, dishes, and picking up. I also spend some downtime reading my book. I’m almost done with
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and it’s making me heartsick the way only a good book can.
6 - We meet my father-in-law out for dinner at a local Italian restaurant for dinner - he pays, which isn’t unexpected but is still a nice treat. We get home and do all of the bed time things before going to sleep ourselves around 9:30.
Daily total: $727.40 Day 3 - 6:45 - Ugh. The work week. Today’s going to be hectic so I’m not looking forward to it. My mother-in-law usually watches the kids Mondays but she’s on vacation, which means we’ll be balancing childcare and work today. Thankfully, it’s the quiet season for my job, so I was able to front load some work last week so I have flexibility today. I wake up before the kids and log on to get some tasks done. Once they’re up, I give them a breakfast of frozen waffles and yogurt and throw together a crockpot for dinner. I use the corned beef I bought yesterday, along with some potatoes and carrots I already had and I’ll serve it all with the rye bread. I make myself a quick breakfast of bacon and Irish soda bread and get my 3yo out the door for a dentist appointment. I wanted my husband to take him, but he had some work thing come up, blah. Sometimes I leave medical appointments feeling like a bad mom because of whatever health reminders we get that I know we’re slacking on, like flossing or dropping the baby’s pacifier. The appointment goes well though and I only have a small copay that I use my HSA card for ($4).
11 - When I get back, the baby is down for a nap and my husband seems really stressed about the work thing, so I resign myself to being the point person for the kids today. I set my son up with a snack and get some work done quickly before getting lunch heated up for everyone. We have the leftovers from the restaurant last night, supplemented with a side salad I throw together. I have 2 important meetings after lunch, so I send both kids to my husband’s office. They’ll be getting more screen time than we’d like today but it is what it is. The afternoon flies by in a blur of emails-snacks-meetings-diapers-baby nap time #2. My last meeting of the day is a long company-wide town hall, so I can listen in without needing to participate. I decide to log in on my phone so I can put laundry away and play outside with my 3 year old while his sister naps. It’s a little chilly but the fresh air feels nice and we spend over an hour out there while the corporate big wigs talk about numbers and engagement surveys and benefit fairs and things like being a family or whatever.
4 - I’m so glad dinner’s already done so I can focus on other things, like playing with the kids and picking up a little. Some days, I feel like spend all of my time feeding everyone, picking up toys, and running the dishwasher. I wanted to get a workout in today, but my husband’s work thing is still ongoing at 6:30 PM, so I just do some squats, kicks and jumps in the bathroom while the kids take a bath. My husband’s work thing keeps him working till very late, so we don’t get our usual “chill on the couch and watch tv” time. I decide to use the evening to get the house in order instead, even though I’m tired. My spidey senses are telling me we might be in for a long week, so having the house tidy will at least make one thing easier. By the time I go to bed, every room downstairs is picked up enough to run our robot vacuum/mop, trash and recycling are empty, dishwasher is unloaded and reloaded, and the kitchen has been wiped down. I feel like I “did it all” today!
Daily total: $4 Day 4- 7 - I don’t know what time my husband was done with work, but it was late so I took the baby monitor on my side of the bed even though it was his night. I have enough time to feed the cats, give the dog his medicine, and prep my daughter’s breakfast before she wakes up. I sit with her while she eats. My son is supposed to have preschool today, but they’re unexpectedly closed because a staff member passed away. I didn’t know her because she’s in a different classroom but I love the preschool and she’s left a family behind. It’s got me feeling sad. Thankfully, my mom is able to help with the kids today, so I google some toddler activities happening so I can give her ideas to get them out of the house. I donate to the GoFundMe for the preschool teacher’s family and remember I also need to buy some raffle calendars to support the Children’s Museum spring fundraiser, so I do that, too ($88.50). I get the kids ready for the day and once my mom gets here, I logon to work around 9.
12 - I was tunnel-vision on a tedious work task I inherited when we let someone go when I hear everyone return home, which means it’s lunchtime! Usually, we have whatever we ate for dinner the night before but there aren’t enough leftovers for everyone so I whip up some chicken quesadillas using a rotisserie chicken from a few days ago that was on its last legs. I serve it with a salad kit for an easy side. I also use my lunch break to call about a medical bill I received that wasn’t sent through my insurance first. This happens ALL. THE. TIME. so I always carefully examine my medical bills and EOBs instead of just blindly paying them. I hardly used my health insurance in my 20’s, but between 2 pregnancies/births and all the visits young children have, I’ve spent so much time on the phone with our insurance or providers about billing in the last 5 years. It’s a pain, but it’s “saved” us thousands of dollars that I’m sure some other people would just spend without questioning. I’m lucky to have the time, energy, resources, and ability to navigate these types of systems. It shouldn’t be this complicated!
2:30 - it’s time to put my son down for his nap (assuming he deigns to take one)… and he does!! Yay! The baby will take her second nap around 3, so I send my mom home for the day. Now back to work.
4:30 - both kids take great afternoon naps and I was able to bang out the rest of what I wanted to do for work and then some, so I sign off when they wake up. I start prepping dinner, which will be air fried chicken leg quarters I had in the freezer, mashed potatoes, and a sauce that has bacon, sweet potato, and mushrooms. Chicken leg quarters have been my favorite cut of meat lately because the thighs are the perfect size for the adults and the drums are the perfect size for the kids. It takes a little more time because there’s some butchering involved, but I get 8 portions from a package that only cost me $7.34, so it’s worth it.
8 - we’ve finally wrapped up the various weeknight responsibilities and it’s time to relax! We watch the first episode of Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, then head in for some reading and bed time around 9.
Daily total: $88.50 Day 5 - 7:30 - I slept like absolute garbage and wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. I can also feel a headache brewing. We’re without childcare again today, so I should have signed on early to get some work done but I lounge in bed instead. Since it’s the off-season, I don’t have any pressing deadlines right now anyway - just self-imposed ones that can be flexible if needed. I finally roll out of bed around 8:15 and make myself coffee + a bagel. The kids get yogurt, fruit, and French toast sticks. I get my son out the door juuuuuuust on time for his speech therapy appointment. He used to receive his therapy in our home which was GREAT, but now he has to go to the local elementary school. Most weeks my mom or MIL take him, but they’re not available this week. I use the 30 minutes he’s in his visit to research a work thing my boss asked me about, so the time is well-spent.
12:30 - When we got home from speech, the baby is napping, so I pass my son off to my husband. When we don’t have help with the kids, we try to stagger our work so we each get a few hours to focus on work and will do some in the evening as needed. I hit a natural stopping point in my task so I serve lunch, which is leftovers of the chicken + potatoes + sauce from last night. I have the kids for most of the afternoon, so I don’t get as much work done as I’d like and I snap at my husband about it. In hindsight, I know the stress was from a culmination of our regular childcare routine being thrown off and my being tired/cranky from the poor sleep so I apologize later.
4:15 - Wednesday means it’s dance night, which is both my most and least favorite night of the week. I do a Mommy & Me class with the kids, chauffeur then home, scarf down a quick dinner (leftover corned beef, potatoes, carrots and rye bread), and then back to the studio to take classes myself from 6:30-9ish. It’s exhausting and at times it’s been hard to budget for, but it’s also so important to me, especially since becoming a mom. I love that it’s guaranteed time to disconnect and where I’m not someone’s mom or employee or wife - I’m just me, doing something for myself. The first six months of motherhood were really lonely and isolating for a myriad of reasons - new identity, sleep deprivation, hormones, Covid - and getting back to my dance family made me feel like a human again. I paid for lessons last week but when I get there, I’m reminded that I haven’t paid for the overnight NYC trip the studio is taking next month. I use the $60 cash I got from selling the bed and mattress on Sunday and write a check for the rest ($280).
9:15 - finally released and on my way home! I DESPERATELY want to hit up the McDonald’s drive through for some fries like I do most weeks, but I resist. I am so strong and so brave.
Daily total: $280 Day 6 - 8:15 - slept in today because I slept like shit again, this time because my daughter woke at 11p and 5a. Frankly, it’s rude she did this on my monitor night and not her dad’s. I want to stay in bed longer but have to get my son ready for preschool. I don’t know how I would have survived these last 3 years of unpredictable sleep if I had to go into an office. Getting to sleep till 8 or take a nap on my lunch break as needed has probably saved my life! Husband’s on drop off duty so I make a coffee and a bagel for me and the little lady to share and get logged in to work. My husband gets back around 9:30 and then puts our daughter down for her first nap.
12:30 - I had no meetings this morning, so I was able to knock out everything I hoped to do yesterday and then some, yay! The morning flew by and it’s suddenly lunch time. I throw together some peanut butter sandwiches for us and send some emails from my laptop while my daughter and I eat. I left the table for 32 seconds to fill my water bottle and my dog sniped my sandwich!! Honestly, there is no respect in this house. I have to make a second one, aka he’s blown our PB&J budget out of the water with his gluttony. After lunch, I have a 1-on-1 with my boss and it goes really well. My stress about my work performance yesterday was unfounded because she’s happy with my turnaround times and how I’ve handled the extra work I’ve taken on lately. I feel better about work stuff.
3:30 - my husband picked our son up from school and he hangs with me in my office for a bit before I put his sister down for her second nap. I kind of feel like I might be getting sick - I can’t tell if I’m just run down from poor sleep or if a cold is brewing and my headache is back. I decide to try and lay down with him between meetings in hopes he’ll nap and I’ll get a little rest. He doesn’t nap but I feel a little more energized after laying down for 30 minutes and taking ibuprofen. Now I can power through a few more tasks and one more meeting before calling it quits for today!
5:15 - my last meeting of the day ran over a little - GROSS! Thankfully, it’s the best night of the week, Takeout Thursday (ToT as we call it around here) for the parents. My son says he wants mac & cheese and chicken nuggets; I can’t stomach the price of a box of dairy-free m&c, so I make the sauce myself whenever he requests it. I’m positively delighted to find I have a little container of it in the freezer, so getting dinner on the table for the kids is a breeze. My husband is trying to avoid fried foods because of a 75 Soft challenge he’s doing, so makes himself eggs, avocado toast, and bacon. Left to my own devices, I decide to get KFC ($13.36). I haven’t had much of an appetite this week, so I don’t finish it all.
8 - after dinner, we have playtime/snuggle on the couch and chill time. I realize we’re almost out of diapers, so I place an Amazon order for more before heading into the bedroom around 9 ($55.94). I’m 94% done with my book according to my kindle and I really hope I can finish it tonight!
Daily total: $69.30 Day 7 - 7:15 - finally Friday! I had trouble falling asleep last night so I took some melatonin/chamomile gummies and got a pretty good night’s rest finally. When I wake up, I’m sleep-trapped by my 3yo, so I browse my phone and start looking at this week’s grocery sales and coupons. I load a few to my account and start casually making a meal plan in my head. My husband got up with our 1yo and texted me to say he thinks she’s sick, which enhances my suspicions that I’m unwell, too. It was a blissful 7 days where we were all healthy, but here we go again 😩 I sneak out of bed around 7:45 so my husband can go to the gym. I pick up the living room a bit while my coffee brews and my daughter plays. You’d never know I spent most of Monday evening cleaning this place by the looks of it. I guess that’s what a week of living in a house will do. My son wakes around 8, so I get all 3 of us dressed and ready for the day. I throw a waffle into the toaster for my son and hash brown into the air fryer for myself, then think about how my girly goo steals my breakfast all the time and add another hash brown. I’ll top it with eggs scrambled with spinach and cheese. I log in on my work laptop around 8:45 while we eat breakfast.
11 - The baby goes down for a nap and I take my son to his weekly playgroup. This is supposed to be my husband’s thing, but another work thing has come up. I would normally just have him skip, but he’s missed the last few weeks and with our schedule all thrown off this week, I want to get him out of the house. While I’m there, I chip in for our group’s fundraiser raffle basket using cash I nabbed from my husband’s wallet - one of the most obvious generational differences with our 10 year age gap is that he ALWAYS has cash and I never do ($10). Thankfully, he’s a good sharer. We have to leave playgroup early so I can log in to a standing noon meeting. My team is in all different time zones, so I end up having 2-3 lunchtime calls a week which I hate. I eat my leftover KFC during the call.
4 - my husband took the lead on the kids all afternoon so I could button this week’s work tasks up. While I’ve been working, I start to feel like I’m crashing and think maybe I am getting sick after all? I try to nap with my son again but get pulled into another work task, so I just make tea with honey and vow to take it easy this weekend. I check my personal email and see that our electric bill has been charged for this month ($326.33). I was hoping to grocery shop this afternoon but I’m too tired and haven’t finished my list, so it will have to wait until tomorrow.
7 - Dinner is done, showers have been showered and it’s finally time to relax into the weekend! A few weeks ago, we inacted Dad Does Dinner Fridays (#DDDF) where my husband has to plan, shop for, and cook dinner from A-Z with no input from or questions to me allowed. It’s glorious. This week, he pandered to the children by choosing hot dogs and home fries after they rejected his previous picks of burgers and steak. We end the night by watching the new Roadhouse, which we both find surprisingly funny. I snack on some chocolate chip cookies and trü frü chocolate covered strawberries that had been kicking around the freezer. I finished my book last night and will start
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes tonight. It’s been a long week and I’m happy to have the next two days to chill a bit!
Daily total: $336.33 Weekly total: $1,635 Breakdown: - Food + Drink: $485.07 (I included the Costco order in here but some of it was also for Home + health)
- Fun / Entertainment: $287
- Home + Health: $386.27
- Clothes + Beauty: $0
- Transport: $44.42
- Other: $432.24 in gifts/donations
Reflection: This was an expensive week for me! My husband’s birthday gift and paying for the NYC trip were outliers (and pricey ones at that). The other things I spent on are more inline with my typical spending habits. I know I could also slim down our grocery budget but I really enjoy cooking and food matters to me, so it’s an area I’m always more willing to splurge on. I was a little discouraged looking at my student loan balance in comparison to where I started - before kids, I was always so aggressive about making extra payments, but I lost the wind in my sails after $20k forgiveness was dangled in front of me and then snatched away. At this rate, I have about 8 more years of paying which feels both like an eternity and like nothing. Finally, this whole exercise just reinforced what I already know: I have been incredibly fortunate to be the benefactor of my in-laws’ financial well-being. From my husband’s lack of debt, to his ability to buy and sell 2 homes with large down payments/low rates and more. And while my parents haven’t been in a position to support me financially, they’ve helped in other ways (letting me live at home, helping with childcare so we avoid daycare costs). I grew up in a Just-Enough family, so the kind of financial security we have is surprising to me and I’m grateful for it.
Hi guys recently I downloaded a pre-compiled wow 3.3.5a azerothcore (server). When I run server on my (main) pc and connecting to my local server (server and client are both running on same pc) everything works fine but when i launch the server (with same config and data) on my other pc and try to join it with my main pc my game stuck at logging in to game server and the realm selection window keep looping when I hit okay! , i noticed that handshake and authorization working fine but the game can't connect to the main game server. Also i double checked realm address on the client wtf cfg
Btw I'm sorry for my bad English