Friendship bracelet patterns summer
I don’t miss you anymore
2024.05.21 19:42 Stick_Girl I don’t miss you anymore
I thought the day would never come that I’d finally get over the loss of my best friend. We were friends from 8 years old until 27. My marriage fell into shambles and my husband pushed us into non monogamous relationships. It was hell but my best friend comforted me through it. She even was encouraging as I connected with a man I never should have but when he and I were to meet at a hotel and spend a week together her religious conviction took precedence. She told me how she felt and I listened but obviously felt that since I was an adult it was my right to choose my own path but she however decided to go behind me and tell her mother so she would then tell my mother and blow my world apart. My mother didn’t speak to me for a month afterwards and we lived next door.
It took a lot to forgive her for shoving me out of a closet she knew I didn’t even want to be a part of and permanently damaging my relationship with my family but I did forgive her and I tried desperately to connect with her. I ended that romantic relationship and eventually my marriage and had a new life with a new man just the two of us and was picking up the pieces of my life.
But all she did was leave me on read. Never answered. I was there for her grandfathers funeral still but finally I needed an answer. It had been two years since she decided for religious reasons to implode my life and outside of her grandfathers death she’d ignored me.
So I reached out and this was her reply:
JAN 27, 2021 AT 4:12 AM Me: Hey can I ask you something JAN 27, 2021 AT 8:09 PM Me: That answers my question then JAN 29, 2021 AT 2:06 AM Me: Do you still think of us as friends? JAN 29, 2021 AT 9:07 AM Me: If you don't I understand, I just want to know where I stand and I think any person deserves to hear that directly rather than just thru loss of connection. I did some things I'm not proud of and regret but you've never even given me the chance to tell you that. Every time l've tried to see you you've dodged the question entirely. I ended that ridiculous relationship a long time ago and straightened out my life. I wished I could have sat and talk to you face to face about all that but you've made it clear you didn't want to see me. So l just want a chance to tell you finally that the things I did that were wrong were almost immediately ended. I also want to know where I stand with you for real. If you don't want to be my friend anymore then l'll go but I deserve to hear that from you rather than assume it. JAN 29, 2021 AT 11:47 AM Me: I can see you're just going to leave me on read then. I will accept that as your answer and I'm sorry to see the 19 years we've had is over and even more so without an answer from you as to exactly why
15 days later FEB 12, 2021 AT 9:58 PM Her: My NAME, I'm sorry that l've only just been able to get back to you. I was very emotionally spent when you texted me because Sugar (her dog) has been in and out of the vet and ER for weeks for her health and I am very stressed with that. She is not doing well. I do believe that we are on very different life paths now. There is nothing wrong with life bringing change and I am very glad we had so many fun adventures together growing up, but, unfortunately, I don't recognize my childhood friend in the person I see you as now. I feel like it is best to move on and grow on our own separate paths. I wish only happiness and health for you and your family. I would like to apologize for not being more present during the times when you needed a good friend close by. I don't consider this a failed friendship. I wish you nothing but good for your future and I am sad to see it end in this way.
I didn’t have the words to reply to that message. She chalked up 19 years to “fun adventures”, we went to college together, she was my maid of honor, I was at the airport when she left the country for a year, she went with me and my family every summer to my grandmothers lake cabin. I tried many times after to contact her and was left on read until her father died then she needed me and I was there but after that I was back to being left on read and then after Sept 18 2021 she didn’t even read them anymore
On Dec 22nd 2022 I sent my final message which I then unsent and never tried again. I had been and would continue to regularly dream about her. Dreams of reconnecting finally but usually just about seeing her but she would not speak to or look at me. Those dreams haunted me and I just wanted them to stop.
I got married two months ago, I have my own place, I have custody of my son, I have a beautiful life that I fought through hell to get and I saw a post shared in another group this morning from someone completely left out of a girls trip and how broken hearted they felt. That was the first I’d even thought of my ex best friend since idk when. I realized then that I don’t think about her anymore.
So to my ex best friend I’d like to say, I don’t miss you anymore, outside of rare random updates from my mother who’s still kept at an arms length friendship with your mother I don’t even think about you anymore. I don’t wonder anymore if your husband got his visa or if you’ve decided to have a family. I don’t wonder if you got your own home or if your business ever took off. I don’t miss our yearly trips to my grandmothers lake cabin. I don’t wonder anymore why I was not even a part of your wedding when we were 26 when you’d been my maid of honor 4 years prior. You were the first person I called when I started contracting in labor with my son but he’s 8 now and doesn’t even know your name because I don’t speak about you anymore. I don’t care about you anymore and it doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m glad you’re not my friend any longer because you never truly were the friend to me I was to you. Yes there were many times you were not a “good friend” but I didn’t need a “good friend close by”. I needed my best friend and you were not there, not for much of the good or the bad unless I made the effort first. I look back now and can see how little there was to even really miss and I can thank you now for leaving my life. I’m glad you’re gone.
I have healed from you.
submitted by Stick_Girl to breakingmom [link] [comments]
It took a lot to forgive her for shoving me out of a closet she knew I didn’t even want to be a part of and permanently damaging my relationship with my family but I did forgive her and I tried desperately to connect with her. I ended that romantic relationship and eventually my marriage and had a new life with a new man just the two of us and was picking up the pieces of my life.
But all she did was leave me on read. Never answered. I was there for her grandfathers funeral still but finally I needed an answer. It had been two years since she decided for religious reasons to implode my life and outside of her grandfathers death she’d ignored me.
So I reached out and this was her reply:
JAN 27, 2021 AT 4:12 AM Me: Hey can I ask you something JAN 27, 2021 AT 8:09 PM Me: That answers my question then JAN 29, 2021 AT 2:06 AM Me: Do you still think of us as friends? JAN 29, 2021 AT 9:07 AM Me: If you don't I understand, I just want to know where I stand and I think any person deserves to hear that directly rather than just thru loss of connection. I did some things I'm not proud of and regret but you've never even given me the chance to tell you that. Every time l've tried to see you you've dodged the question entirely. I ended that ridiculous relationship a long time ago and straightened out my life. I wished I could have sat and talk to you face to face about all that but you've made it clear you didn't want to see me. So l just want a chance to tell you finally that the things I did that were wrong were almost immediately ended. I also want to know where I stand with you for real. If you don't want to be my friend anymore then l'll go but I deserve to hear that from you rather than assume it. JAN 29, 2021 AT 11:47 AM Me: I can see you're just going to leave me on read then. I will accept that as your answer and I'm sorry to see the 19 years we've had is over and even more so without an answer from you as to exactly why
15 days later FEB 12, 2021 AT 9:58 PM Her: My NAME, I'm sorry that l've only just been able to get back to you. I was very emotionally spent when you texted me because Sugar (her dog) has been in and out of the vet and ER for weeks for her health and I am very stressed with that. She is not doing well. I do believe that we are on very different life paths now. There is nothing wrong with life bringing change and I am very glad we had so many fun adventures together growing up, but, unfortunately, I don't recognize my childhood friend in the person I see you as now. I feel like it is best to move on and grow on our own separate paths. I wish only happiness and health for you and your family. I would like to apologize for not being more present during the times when you needed a good friend close by. I don't consider this a failed friendship. I wish you nothing but good for your future and I am sad to see it end in this way.
I didn’t have the words to reply to that message. She chalked up 19 years to “fun adventures”, we went to college together, she was my maid of honor, I was at the airport when she left the country for a year, she went with me and my family every summer to my grandmothers lake cabin. I tried many times after to contact her and was left on read until her father died then she needed me and I was there but after that I was back to being left on read and then after Sept 18 2021 she didn’t even read them anymore
On Dec 22nd 2022 I sent my final message which I then unsent and never tried again. I had been and would continue to regularly dream about her. Dreams of reconnecting finally but usually just about seeing her but she would not speak to or look at me. Those dreams haunted me and I just wanted them to stop.
I got married two months ago, I have my own place, I have custody of my son, I have a beautiful life that I fought through hell to get and I saw a post shared in another group this morning from someone completely left out of a girls trip and how broken hearted they felt. That was the first I’d even thought of my ex best friend since idk when. I realized then that I don’t think about her anymore.
So to my ex best friend I’d like to say, I don’t miss you anymore, outside of rare random updates from my mother who’s still kept at an arms length friendship with your mother I don’t even think about you anymore. I don’t wonder anymore if your husband got his visa or if you’ve decided to have a family. I don’t wonder if you got your own home or if your business ever took off. I don’t miss our yearly trips to my grandmothers lake cabin. I don’t wonder anymore why I was not even a part of your wedding when we were 26 when you’d been my maid of honor 4 years prior. You were the first person I called when I started contracting in labor with my son but he’s 8 now and doesn’t even know your name because I don’t speak about you anymore. I don’t care about you anymore and it doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m glad you’re not my friend any longer because you never truly were the friend to me I was to you. Yes there were many times you were not a “good friend” but I didn’t need a “good friend close by”. I needed my best friend and you were not there, not for much of the good or the bad unless I made the effort first. I look back now and can see how little there was to even really miss and I can thank you now for leaving my life. I’m glad you’re gone.
I have healed from you.
2024.05.21 19:41 Natural_Subject9439 Bf (24M) went nuclear in my (24F) face over a false assumption. How do I process/move past this?
Long post ahead so bear with me.
I’m 24F dating my 24M boyfriend for 4 years. Overall I’d say our relationship has been pretty good - no serious issues until now, all of our fights have been over his tendency to be moody or passive aggressive.
Some background information: I’m on the neurodivergent spectrum and suffer from depressive episodes, but I’m high functioning because I don’t want it to affect my professional life or anyone else but me. A side effect of that has been my tendency to isolate myself from everyone, which I’ve done for the majority of our relationship - sometimes I didn’t interact with anyone at all except for my family and my bf. I haven’t gone a single day in the last 6 years without any contact with him.
I realized that this wasn’t healthy so this year I decided to try and come out of my shell and build more friendships. It’s a bit hard but I’ve been working on it slowly, and one of my newfound friends was one of my bf’s friends, J (23M), as well - they had been friends for about a year at this point. We hit it off pretty well and as someone who’s really bad at friendships I enjoyed talking to J, but it was strictly platonic - nothing out of the ordinary, exactly like every friendship I have/have ever had. Please keep in mind I did not prioritize interactions I had with J or anyone else over ones I had with my bf.
While my bf initially really liked J, around the time we started becoming friends he started to sour on J until he eventually just started icing him because he didn’t like anything about him all of a sudden, and the only reason he could come up with was “J was annoying.” He also told me he found it “weird” that he chose to be friends with his friend’s gf (confused about that one because I met some of my closest friends through him/his circles). I reassure him that there’s nothing weird going on and my friendship with J is, once again, platonic. In all honesty, I also didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t find J to be annoying and my bf has had a pattern of disliking some of my friends for no apparent reason, even if he’d never talked to them. (My friends are all just goofy nerds so I never really got why.)
3 weeks ago my bf tells me he thinks J is trying to sleep with me but he has no evidence or thoughts to support this. I’m obviously shocked and once again reassure him that I’ve never picked up sleazy vibes from J and he’s never been inappropriate with me. I’ve had really creepy encounters before so I’m always hyperalert about these kinds of things and if I do get those vibes I shut them down immediately.
Onto the main clown show: last week my bf texts me angry that I’ve been lying to him and that I’ve been repeatedly gaslighting him into thinking my friendship with J was normal, but after a conversation with one of his other friends he’s convinced that he’s right and it’s inappropriate for J to be friends with me. Then he goes ahead and texts J to stop texting me and accuses him, amongst other things, of being a creep. To the surprise of absolutely no one, turns out this scenario that my bf created of J secretly trying to steal me away from him was completely false and J is both hurt and pissed about it. He tells him that he’s only ever thought of him as a good friend and he never had ill intentions towards me but he cannot in good conscience be ok with this and subsequently cuts both of us off.
For obvious reasons, I’m extremely pissed about this and we have a blowout fight over it, because turns out I don’t like anyone messing with my friendships like that and falsely accusing someone who’s done nothing wrong to you of being a creep is a shitty thing to do. He genuinely didn’t see anything wrong about what he did and “he did what he had to because he was desperate to get J out of my life and I left him no other choice.” He also told me that if he woke up to find out I did something to cause his friends to cut him off, he’d assume I had a good reason to do so and everything that happened with J was for the best. He screamed at me, accused me of being disrespectful and thinking of him as an insecure loser, called me a whole slew of hurtful things, that I’m disgusting and make him feel worthless and that he fucking hates me repeatedly. It overall just turned into a really ugly mess.
The next morning he was calmer and apologized for the hurtful things he said and that he didn’t mean any of it. He also admitted what he did was wrong, that he overreacted out of paranoia, and that he’s sorry he hurt J and ruined my friendship with him. He admitted that I was right, there wasn’t anything weird going on like he thought and he apologized for messing with my personal life.
The issue is I’m having a hard time processing all of this. First of all this couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I have a lot of personal issues going on that I’m incredibly stressed out about and he’s well aware of that. He’s also aware that I’ve always struggled with making friends, and now any urge I’ve had to do that is gone. I can’t get over him saying I make him feel worthless because I’ve dedicated so much and sacrificed so much to be with him and make him happy every way I could. I’ve never and still don’t prioritize anyone else over him. Having your boyfriend of nearly 5 years tell you he doesn’t trust you and despises you is also pretty fucking shitty because I’ve never done anything distrustful or been anywhere near as hurtful as he has been to me. His apologies sound hollow and lukewarm to me because at the end of the day, he got exactly what he wanted. And I’m left to suck it up and deal with it.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m alone backed into a corner and I’m about to break with all the other things going on in my life. I’m sorry if this post isn’t very coherent but I’m a little tipsy right now. I just feel so violated and I’ve never felt more horrible or alone in my life than I do now and I’ve never not felt like that my entire life. I don’t know and can’t tell if I’m the one who messed up here and what I should do. Any advice, harsh or gentle is appreciated.
TLDR: bf incorrectly assumed mutual friend was trying to sleep with me and subsequently went nuclear on both me and friend. Am hurt and don’t know how or if I should resolve this.
submitted by Natural_Subject9439 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I’m 24F dating my 24M boyfriend for 4 years. Overall I’d say our relationship has been pretty good - no serious issues until now, all of our fights have been over his tendency to be moody or passive aggressive.
Some background information: I’m on the neurodivergent spectrum and suffer from depressive episodes, but I’m high functioning because I don’t want it to affect my professional life or anyone else but me. A side effect of that has been my tendency to isolate myself from everyone, which I’ve done for the majority of our relationship - sometimes I didn’t interact with anyone at all except for my family and my bf. I haven’t gone a single day in the last 6 years without any contact with him.
I realized that this wasn’t healthy so this year I decided to try and come out of my shell and build more friendships. It’s a bit hard but I’ve been working on it slowly, and one of my newfound friends was one of my bf’s friends, J (23M), as well - they had been friends for about a year at this point. We hit it off pretty well and as someone who’s really bad at friendships I enjoyed talking to J, but it was strictly platonic - nothing out of the ordinary, exactly like every friendship I have/have ever had. Please keep in mind I did not prioritize interactions I had with J or anyone else over ones I had with my bf.
While my bf initially really liked J, around the time we started becoming friends he started to sour on J until he eventually just started icing him because he didn’t like anything about him all of a sudden, and the only reason he could come up with was “J was annoying.” He also told me he found it “weird” that he chose to be friends with his friend’s gf (confused about that one because I met some of my closest friends through him/his circles). I reassure him that there’s nothing weird going on and my friendship with J is, once again, platonic. In all honesty, I also didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t find J to be annoying and my bf has had a pattern of disliking some of my friends for no apparent reason, even if he’d never talked to them. (My friends are all just goofy nerds so I never really got why.)
3 weeks ago my bf tells me he thinks J is trying to sleep with me but he has no evidence or thoughts to support this. I’m obviously shocked and once again reassure him that I’ve never picked up sleazy vibes from J and he’s never been inappropriate with me. I’ve had really creepy encounters before so I’m always hyperalert about these kinds of things and if I do get those vibes I shut them down immediately.
Onto the main clown show: last week my bf texts me angry that I’ve been lying to him and that I’ve been repeatedly gaslighting him into thinking my friendship with J was normal, but after a conversation with one of his other friends he’s convinced that he’s right and it’s inappropriate for J to be friends with me. Then he goes ahead and texts J to stop texting me and accuses him, amongst other things, of being a creep. To the surprise of absolutely no one, turns out this scenario that my bf created of J secretly trying to steal me away from him was completely false and J is both hurt and pissed about it. He tells him that he’s only ever thought of him as a good friend and he never had ill intentions towards me but he cannot in good conscience be ok with this and subsequently cuts both of us off.
For obvious reasons, I’m extremely pissed about this and we have a blowout fight over it, because turns out I don’t like anyone messing with my friendships like that and falsely accusing someone who’s done nothing wrong to you of being a creep is a shitty thing to do. He genuinely didn’t see anything wrong about what he did and “he did what he had to because he was desperate to get J out of my life and I left him no other choice.” He also told me that if he woke up to find out I did something to cause his friends to cut him off, he’d assume I had a good reason to do so and everything that happened with J was for the best. He screamed at me, accused me of being disrespectful and thinking of him as an insecure loser, called me a whole slew of hurtful things, that I’m disgusting and make him feel worthless and that he fucking hates me repeatedly. It overall just turned into a really ugly mess.
The next morning he was calmer and apologized for the hurtful things he said and that he didn’t mean any of it. He also admitted what he did was wrong, that he overreacted out of paranoia, and that he’s sorry he hurt J and ruined my friendship with him. He admitted that I was right, there wasn’t anything weird going on like he thought and he apologized for messing with my personal life.
The issue is I’m having a hard time processing all of this. First of all this couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I have a lot of personal issues going on that I’m incredibly stressed out about and he’s well aware of that. He’s also aware that I’ve always struggled with making friends, and now any urge I’ve had to do that is gone. I can’t get over him saying I make him feel worthless because I’ve dedicated so much and sacrificed so much to be with him and make him happy every way I could. I’ve never and still don’t prioritize anyone else over him. Having your boyfriend of nearly 5 years tell you he doesn’t trust you and despises you is also pretty fucking shitty because I’ve never done anything distrustful or been anywhere near as hurtful as he has been to me. His apologies sound hollow and lukewarm to me because at the end of the day, he got exactly what he wanted. And I’m left to suck it up and deal with it.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m alone backed into a corner and I’m about to break with all the other things going on in my life. I’m sorry if this post isn’t very coherent but I’m a little tipsy right now. I just feel so violated and I’ve never felt more horrible or alone in my life than I do now and I’ve never not felt like that my entire life. I don’t know and can’t tell if I’m the one who messed up here and what I should do. Any advice, harsh or gentle is appreciated.
TLDR: bf incorrectly assumed mutual friend was trying to sleep with me and subsequently went nuclear on both me and friend. Am hurt and don’t know how or if I should resolve this.
2024.05.21 19:38 HBCYG5260 Is it possible to date in today's world if it takes a while to develop attraction?
Long story short - Several months ago I ended the only serious relationship I've (28m) ever had. We dated since high school, and we knew each other beforehand so it was like a friendship that turned into relationship situation. I didn't realize it at the time, but now looking at getting back out there I've realized it takes me a while to realize if I'm attracted to a girl enough to ask her out.
It seems like dating now is so based on physical attraction and getting to know someone after the fact. But for me it's like the physical attraction is enough to catch my eye, but is not my primary motivation and never enough for me to think about asking a girl out. It's only after I've gotten to know who she is/how she is as a person that I'm interested in asking her out.
Usually by the point I've realized I'm interested in a girl in that way, we've talked and gotten to know each other enough that we've crossed into the friends only territory and there's really no way of coming back from that. In retrospect, I realize this led to me having many problems in high school always crushing on my close friends who were girls.
I haven't really tried actively dating again yet, but I've already seen this pattern show up since becoming single again. I met a new coworker that got assigned to work on a project with me. This required talking at least an our a day. Initially our conversations were kinda slow, but after a while we just clicked and spent a lot of time getting to know each other. I just thought she was pretty cool, but after getting to know her more I realized I actually found her really attractive and thought about asking her out.
By that time, though, we'd been talking at least an hour or two per day every work day for at least 3 weeks. And when I finally started being a little flirty, she nicely gave me indications that she only saw me as a friend. Sure, I know that there may have never been an opportunity there. But it would be naive of me to think me not showing any indication in interest before 3 weeks of talking at least an hour a day didn't help land me in that friend zone kinda spot.
So I'm just wondering if I'm weird in this way and if this will cause me issues trying to date again?
submitted by HBCYG5260 to dating_advice [link] [comments]
It seems like dating now is so based on physical attraction and getting to know someone after the fact. But for me it's like the physical attraction is enough to catch my eye, but is not my primary motivation and never enough for me to think about asking a girl out. It's only after I've gotten to know who she is/how she is as a person that I'm interested in asking her out.
Usually by the point I've realized I'm interested in a girl in that way, we've talked and gotten to know each other enough that we've crossed into the friends only territory and there's really no way of coming back from that. In retrospect, I realize this led to me having many problems in high school always crushing on my close friends who were girls.
I haven't really tried actively dating again yet, but I've already seen this pattern show up since becoming single again. I met a new coworker that got assigned to work on a project with me. This required talking at least an our a day. Initially our conversations were kinda slow, but after a while we just clicked and spent a lot of time getting to know each other. I just thought she was pretty cool, but after getting to know her more I realized I actually found her really attractive and thought about asking her out.
By that time, though, we'd been talking at least an hour or two per day every work day for at least 3 weeks. And when I finally started being a little flirty, she nicely gave me indications that she only saw me as a friend. Sure, I know that there may have never been an opportunity there. But it would be naive of me to think me not showing any indication in interest before 3 weeks of talking at least an hour a day didn't help land me in that friend zone kinda spot.
So I'm just wondering if I'm weird in this way and if this will cause me issues trying to date again?
2024.05.21 19:36 No-Anybody5817 I had no idea avoidants were like this
I’ve heard about avoidant attachment, but didn’t fully know what behaviors and patterns it consisted of until getting dumped by one. I’m mostly secure but do have some anxiety.
We had a great relationship, or so I thought. He always needed more space and to recharge - that’s fine, we both work a lot and I don’t want us to get sick of each other. I didn’t pressure him or ever blow up his phone.
We were both affectionate, best sex, similar interests and values, hobbies, great conversation. He looked at me like I was the most wonderful woman he ever saw and said he couldn’t believe this was his life he said. We had only been together 3 months but no fights yet.
He had made me his girlfriend a little over 1 month after meeting and I felt safe enough to plan ahead and think on the future. I think I noticed him start to pull back when I invited him to meet friends on a camping trip and asked if I could join him for one this summer. He was pulling back and my feelings were getting stronger. I always had intrusive thoughts he would break up with me - but that was crazy, everything was going well and he would tell me he missed me.
I noticed the slight withdrawing more after a weekend getaway together and asked him if everything is ok. Of course it was he said - busy with work, getting ready for his camping trip. But I knew something was off. I had to talk to him when he got back. But instead he texted me he needed to talk about his feelings in our relationship and that he didn’t think we were compatible outside of sex. I had a feeling he was going to break up with me that morning.
I didn’t want to get dumped by phone, so I went over. It was such a change from the man i fell for. He was resolved to break up with me. When I asked how we aren’t compatible, he couldn’t really give me an answer. He said the feelings he should have for me aren’t there and whatever feelings he has are gone, aside from physical attraction. He had been thinking on this for a few weeks.
He said the usual: it’s not you, it’s me; you deserve better; you’re so beautiful and stunning, I’m surprised you haven’t been snatched up yet, etc. I didn’t even know it at the time, but this is his pattern - his longest relationship has been less than 7 months (we’re in our 30s). He doesn’t know how to form a bond or connection to someone and when he gets too close, he deactivates.
He got back onto the apps days after he ended it. Haven’t heard from him, he doesn’t watch my stories. I didn’t reach out except to send him a sweet text a week after to tell him I valued him and our time together, etc. I meant it but I was better off not sending it because I didn’t know he’s avoidant. I’m left with the feelings now and he’s shut off and after the next high with the next woman.
All that being said, he was always good to me. He treated me well, was affectionate even until the end, planned wonderful dates. I have no hate or ill will for him. I wish we could have just been friends tbh. I told him to get therapy when I was leaving and I hope he does for his own sake and for other women. Now I at least see the signs for any future potential partner.
submitted by No-Anybody5817 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
We had a great relationship, or so I thought. He always needed more space and to recharge - that’s fine, we both work a lot and I don’t want us to get sick of each other. I didn’t pressure him or ever blow up his phone.
We were both affectionate, best sex, similar interests and values, hobbies, great conversation. He looked at me like I was the most wonderful woman he ever saw and said he couldn’t believe this was his life he said. We had only been together 3 months but no fights yet.
He had made me his girlfriend a little over 1 month after meeting and I felt safe enough to plan ahead and think on the future. I think I noticed him start to pull back when I invited him to meet friends on a camping trip and asked if I could join him for one this summer. He was pulling back and my feelings were getting stronger. I always had intrusive thoughts he would break up with me - but that was crazy, everything was going well and he would tell me he missed me.
I noticed the slight withdrawing more after a weekend getaway together and asked him if everything is ok. Of course it was he said - busy with work, getting ready for his camping trip. But I knew something was off. I had to talk to him when he got back. But instead he texted me he needed to talk about his feelings in our relationship and that he didn’t think we were compatible outside of sex. I had a feeling he was going to break up with me that morning.
I didn’t want to get dumped by phone, so I went over. It was such a change from the man i fell for. He was resolved to break up with me. When I asked how we aren’t compatible, he couldn’t really give me an answer. He said the feelings he should have for me aren’t there and whatever feelings he has are gone, aside from physical attraction. He had been thinking on this for a few weeks.
He said the usual: it’s not you, it’s me; you deserve better; you’re so beautiful and stunning, I’m surprised you haven’t been snatched up yet, etc. I didn’t even know it at the time, but this is his pattern - his longest relationship has been less than 7 months (we’re in our 30s). He doesn’t know how to form a bond or connection to someone and when he gets too close, he deactivates.
He got back onto the apps days after he ended it. Haven’t heard from him, he doesn’t watch my stories. I didn’t reach out except to send him a sweet text a week after to tell him I valued him and our time together, etc. I meant it but I was better off not sending it because I didn’t know he’s avoidant. I’m left with the feelings now and he’s shut off and after the next high with the next woman.
All that being said, he was always good to me. He treated me well, was affectionate even until the end, planned wonderful dates. I have no hate or ill will for him. I wish we could have just been friends tbh. I told him to get therapy when I was leaving and I hope he does for his own sake and for other women. Now I at least see the signs for any future potential partner.
2024.05.21 19:33 Mr_witty_name Everything Dies; Volume 1, issue 1; Summer in New York (illustration by one of my players)
 | Last night we played the first session of Everything Dies and, since I've been taking about it so much on here, I thought I might recap it here for my sake and for anyone whose interested. submitted by Mr_witty_name to MarvelMultiverseRPG [link] [comments] Our Heroes Coriolis: storm chaser whose high tech armor allows him limited control of the weather Gamble: cat burglar armed with trick cards. Thought he was learning card tricks when he was being trained as a sorcerer Zap-Daddy: just got average blue collar mutant trying to do what's right without revealing his identity Bear Man Bear: he's not a man that turns into a bear, he's a bear that turns into a man. The story; The earth is getting hotter. Today specifically the sub burns and boils the sweaty sticking masses. It's swealterinh, it's smelly, it's miserable. It's summer in New York. Out on Coney Island a well suited man is running across the beach, arms overflowing with cash he stole off a man he lost a bet too. Throwing down a playing card, he disappears in a puff of smoke. Out on the beach, a raggedy man hauls complicated technological equipment. He knows a storm is coming, even if no one will believe him. He walks past a burly middle aged man fighting with a hot dog vendor. The man is scarfing down food but won't pay, apparently he's unfamiliar with the concept. All the while high winds threaten to tip over the Viking boat ride. There's a worker who leaves his friends to try and stabilize the ride. Before he has to change forms though, others come to assist. The worker, Zap-Daddy, moved back to his friends after a small applause. He's at the boardwalk today with his "friend" from work, Chuck, and chuck's girlfriend. Together they talk for a bit about how the news says The Avengers, The X Men, The Fantastic 4, even Spider-Man they're all out of town. But hey, as long as the punisher's still around Chuck feels safe. Zap-Daddy ignores him when he's approached by a man in Green coveralls and rubber gloves/boots. He some kind of janitor who wants to talk to this average guy who was just so heroic. The man ask about his life, if he ever feels things are "off", what he would do if he could change one thing in the universe. The longer they talk, the more zap-daddy realizes the world around him as stopped moving. The janitor leaves as soon as ZD gets suspicious. He says it's nice to talk to somebody, that the only name he remembers is M.M., and that Zap-Daddy should try and get somewhere high up. And the world starts back up again. Meanwhile Bear Man Bear has accidently knocked out the hot dog vendor. Putting some distance between himself and the kart, he finds himself at a beach party. But quickly he realizes he's the but if the joke and yet again, this time after failing to understand Volleyball, he's hurt another person without meaning to. Under the boardwalk Gamble is hiding out when he crosses by the old(ish) man who taught him magic; an eccentric dower man named Wynn. Wynn is under the walk with a friend of his, Dimitri, and he claims to be there on work. Despite his usual demeanor, Wynn is happy to see Gamble. He's trying to see if Gamble can figure out why Wynn and Dimitri are here, but it's no use. Suspicion grows as Gamble attempts to read Dimitri's mind but finds himself unable to. Wynn takes off to see his ex wife but not before stopping to pick up a penny. A penny with, not Abraham Lincoln on the front, but John Wilkes Booth. Flabbergasted, Gamble uses his ESP to try and find nearby sources of magic. He gets crazy readings off of Wynn and Dimitri, as well as 3 people near the beach who have been singled out by something he can't determine. On the opposite end of the beach Coriolis is attempting to explain his equipment to a lifeguard when he's approached by an old rival. A butch lady named Gloria whose just in town to convince the judge that her ex, Janet, doesn't really need all this restraining order crap. She makes fun of him for these supposed "green tornados" he's been seeing, but Coriolis isn't paying attention. He's too focused on the odd readings he's getting from way out in the ocean. Crazy barometric pressure, but no abnormal air pressure in the higher atmosphere. Something is messing with things purposefully and outside the regular laws of nature. As Zap-Daddy leaves he sees the mutant fashion designer Jumbo Carnation out on the street. He has to stop Chuck from doing something heinous. He cuts off his friendship with the man and finds somewhere private to change into his electric form. Taking to the sky, he scans the horizon trying to find whatever danger M.M. had eluded to. All he can see are crowds of people, loved ones, strangers, each of them a single aspect of a larger super organism. Soon he turns his eye to the tide, relaxing as he watches it come in and out and in and out and in and out and out and out and out and out and out. Soon he can see the very floor of the sea. Gamble watches from below the boardwalk as people flee, leaving their belongings behind. Coriolis changes into his armor and Bear Man Bear hears people screaming. There's a new word on their lips, one he hasn't heard before: tsunami. A 120 foot wave is approaching from the ocean. There's one building on Coney Island, a luxury apartment building, that's high enough to get above the wave and there's two land masses, part of New York State, that the wave will have to pass before it gets to the shore. Gamble made his way to the parking lot where he hot wired a motorcycle to try and make it to the building. The workers on the boardwalk abandoned their posts, leaving two people at the top of the Ferris wheel and the cyclone full of riders. Zap-Daddy took it on himself to save him. Knowing he could only take two at a time, it was inevitable that the wave would hit before he got them all to safety. Bear Man Bear took two children on his back and reunited them with their mother before taking off for safety. Coriolis went out to face the wave itself. He created a wind storm to try and slow the tidal wave, saving one of the land masses and effectively cutting it down to half it's previous size. But in doing so he discovered, with infrared vision, some mammoth warm blooded creature below the water. As people panicked, an elevated train jumped off the tracks, it's wheels still sparking electric death. BUT as the wave was smaller now, shorter buildings became more viable safe havens. Gamble was able to save scores of people by unlocking a nearby office building with one of his trick cards. It also gave Bear Man Bear a place to take the unconscious taxi driver he had saved from a car crash. Zap-Daddy had figured out how to carry four people at a time instead of two, but it would still leave two people on the cyclone he couldn't save. While all this was happening Coriolis made a call to The Avengers Tower, they sent the only two people left in the city; Captain America and The Wasp. Seconds before the wave hit the shore, Coriolis saved the last two people on the cyclone and Zap Daddy distributed the electrical circuits of the train, stopping the imminent threat. He also happened to find Chuck, pinned beneath rubble, calling for help. He knocked Chuck out before carrying him to safety, barely missing the wall of water as it obliterated the boardwalk. Bear Man Bear was still bringing an old man up the stairs as water poured in. He was able to get the old man behind an elemental wall that Coriolis had constructed, which saved the civilians. Yet the force of the wave knocked Coriolis out of the sky. With Zap-Daddy high in the sky, Coriolis falling out of it, Captain America and The Wasp arriving on the scene, and Gamble and Bear Man Bear on the roof with the majority of the people, the street of New York lay flooded. Soon the very ground shook as a massive beast emerged from the waters. On its back stood blue men in Aztec garb, armed with extraordinary weapons. Their leader, the man who held the reigns of the beast, blew his war horn and called out "Giganto! Advance! Atlanteans! Kill any surface dweller you may find! For the glory of Namor! For the glory of The Seas! So commands Attuma!" While captain America and The Wasp spent most of their time leaping from rooftop to rooftop, our Heroes started at the crux of the battle. Zap-Daddy and Coriolis focused their efforts on Giganto while Gamble and BMB made it their mission to protect the civilians from the Atlantean soldiers. As a great lightning storm sprung forth from Coriolis' armor, they were able to stop the monster inches before it could get to any people. Tho Gamble and Bear Man Bear were dealing with the soldiers on the roof, they were quickly overwhelmed by the soldiers firing from atop the unconscious monster. As Attuma cast Captain America into the sea, the Wasp attempted to help with the soldiers. The heavy hitters could focus their fire now on Attuma, at least until he jumped into the water and started to heal. As Coriolis was looking for him under the sea, he figured out Attuma must be cold blooded so, in a stroke of genius, he simply flooded the water. Attuma was able to break out of the ice, but it was too late. His heart rate has slowed too much. As Attuma fell unconscious, he began to change. His skin shifted from a light blue hue to a deep green, his eyes changed to a horrid yellow look, his ears grew long and pointed, and his single chin split into four. There atop the frozen waters of a New York heat wave, lay a dying skrull. |
2024.05.21 19:32 Nosybones Have to get this out of my system
This will be wordy and complicated so you may only wish to read it if you’ve found yourself as inexplicably captivated by this entire mess as I am. This is my current working theory, and I don’t claim that it’s entirely accurate or factual It’s just my theory and I am open to corrections, additions, or counter arguments. (No, I am not overly proud of how I know some of these things. I reactivated Instagram and rejoined Reddit after years of abstaining from social media just to further this little investigation/obsession. Hyperfixation is a real bitch sometimes.)
Taylor’s team would’ve been aware of her impending breakup with Joe and relationship with Matty Healy long before those things were public knowledge. With the Eras tour set to start up in March of 2023, her team would’ve been actively, aggressively plotting to address any potential negativity or fallout from the situation, especially with so much riding on this tour. Preemptive damage control would’ve been in absolute overdrive because of the timing of it all. Speaking of timing, the early months of 2023 were a big moment for Travis Kelce. The Kelce brothers were about to face off in the Super Bowl and the media was saturated with them. All the Kelces have mentioned the attention and opportunities they were receiving during that time, including Donna. Scott Swift is a huge football fan, especially of the Eagles, and he was already at least acquainted with or had a casual friendship with Andy Reid. It's very likely that Taylor "dating" Travis Kelce was Scott Swift’s idea. During my “research” on this entire situation, I’ve come across multiple remarks about Taylor’s team traveling to/having meetings in KC in March of 2023. I am guessing that Taylor was so in love with Matty that she put her foot down with her team (including Scott) and wouldn’t participate in their plans regarding Travis at that time. Instead, she likely insisted on the April 8th announcement of the breakup with Joe and doubled down on her relationship with Matty, mouthing loving messages to him and making her speech on stage about how happy she was and how her life finally made sense, being seen with him repeatedly and allowing him to be seen carrying bags into her apartment, etc.
I don’t know if Taylor or her team anticipated exactly how bad the publicity surrounding Matty would be or how intensely negative the response would be from a very vocal portion of her fanbase. I feel like most of us know about the narratives that ramped up against Matty, the SpeakUpNow letter, Swifties threatening to sell their concert tickets, Matty and his people receiving death threats, just all the BAD MESS, so I won’t make this even longer by going too deep into it. I have no doubt Taylor and Matty were experiencing a ton of pressure and emotional whiplash during all of that, which ultimately led to a painful and traumatic breakup for them. And that brings us right back to the suspended Travis Kelce plan. Taylor had shows in KC on July 7th and 8th of 2023. A couple weeks after that we get the cute little story from Travis on his podcast about trying to give Taylor a friendship bracelet with his number on it at her show (I have never and will never believe that bs for a single moment, no matter what). According to them, they start hanging out shortly after that, which is likely true. Ryan Reynolds apparently started following Travis on Instagram in early August so that timing checks out. (I could go off into a whole thing about Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes joining Ryan in the F1 Alpine deal, but this is already just SO MUCH). Next thing you know, we get Taylor appearing at a Chiefs game on September 24th and it’s on from there. According to some Chiefs players, Taylor had already attended a game or two unnoticed and unmentioned (supposedly in the owners’ suite) prior to that September 24th game. That’s interesting to note because of all it implies, such as how much the Chiefs/Hunts may have had to do with this whole deal between Taylor and Travis or just how it was clearly a choice with big motivations behind it for her to be seen at that 9/24 game.
Everything then goes AS PLANNED AND ORCHESTRATED for a few months. The public is captivated by the Taylor and Travis showmance and not even thinking much about Joe Alwyn or Matty Healy or any of the negative publicity surrounding Taylor anymore, the Chiefs and the entire NFL are profiting enormously, the popularity of the New Heights podcast is skyrocketing and catching the attention of major networks, every member of the Kelce family and Travis’ inner circle sees their public profile rising and more and more opportunities coming their way, the Eras tour is a history making success and so is the movie, the Chiefs pull off another Super Bowl win…it’s just a glorious, fantastic time when the whole plan is coming together and everyone remotely involved or connected to Taylor and Travis is benefiting and profiting beyond their wildest dreams. During all of this, Taylor is obviously working on TTPD, and everything connected to it, but I guess no one on Taylor’s team is too concerned about that because it keeps her motivated and pacified and it’s only going to make them all even more money so everything is just great, great, great. BUT THEN Taylor shows up at the Grammys drunk, making an ass of herself and announces the release. Now everyone is maybe back to thinking and talking about Taylor and Joe a bit, but it’s still ok because at least they aren’t talking about Matty and the Taylor and Travis show is still getting tons of attention, Travis is getting acting opportunities, all the Kelces are still benefiting in various ways; it’s all still good.
Then TTPD is released, and everything starts to take a turn. People are still talking, but now it’s mostly about Taylor and Matty or about Taylor and Travis, but only about what a great boyfriend Travis is to Taylor and what a perfect couple they are and their hypothetical impending nuptials and future potential offspring, etc. It probably doesn’t help that it’s off-season and there are no Chiefs games where Travis can shine with his football skills to try to bring some of the spotlight back to anything other than him maybe being the future Mr. Taylor Swift. Despite what many Swifties theorize about Travis, I do not for one moment think that’s his aim in life. This man wants FAME. His own mother repeatedly states how much he loves being the center of attention. And sure, he gets a lot of attention right now, but I have a feeling this is not panning out to be what he was hoping for when he signed up for all of this. His podcast is doing great, but its enormous surge in popularity is largely due to Swifties tuning in, hoping to hear a mention of Taylor (yes, I know it was already a very popular podcast – we wouldn’t be here if Travis Kelce had been an unsuccessful nobody, obviously). Everywhere he goes, everything he does, it’s all about Taylor now. Even at KELCE Jam, he was inundated with questions about Taylor. That might not be an issue except this is a man who already had a very big ego and desire to be hyper famous before Taylor Swift entered the picture. It may have seemed like a golden opportunity initially, but I think reality may be setting in for Travis and Co. and this may not have been the best deal for them in the long run. But the Chiefs and the NFL are deep into it now as well and l bet Travis has pressures on him that I would not even want to imagine coming from that side.
Meanwhile we have Taylor out here messing up the plans again, sending secret messages and singing surprise songs to Matty Healy during her sold-out concert tour where she’s added an entire set to imitate Matty and heighten the speculation and discussion surrounding their big “cosmic, tortured romance.” I feel sure she’s still in love with Matty and is absolutely in contact with him. Logically, their friendships and professional circles are far too intertwined for me to believe they would not be in any form of contact throughout all of this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they were already back together. I think it’s highly possible they’ve even been back together since shortly after their breakup last summer and that likely helped fuel the big push to launch the “relationship” between her and Travis the world. That’s another post for another time though and I still haven’t fully drawn my conclusions about that. Very long story short, I think they are all in a great big mess right now and things are taking a toll, and cracks are showing. I think this may all come crashing down around a lot of people very soon, but I’m betting Taylor Swift comes out on top no matter what somehow. Some people are just lucky like that.
submitted by Nosybones to travisandtaylor [link] [comments]
Taylor’s team would’ve been aware of her impending breakup with Joe and relationship with Matty Healy long before those things were public knowledge. With the Eras tour set to start up in March of 2023, her team would’ve been actively, aggressively plotting to address any potential negativity or fallout from the situation, especially with so much riding on this tour. Preemptive damage control would’ve been in absolute overdrive because of the timing of it all. Speaking of timing, the early months of 2023 were a big moment for Travis Kelce. The Kelce brothers were about to face off in the Super Bowl and the media was saturated with them. All the Kelces have mentioned the attention and opportunities they were receiving during that time, including Donna. Scott Swift is a huge football fan, especially of the Eagles, and he was already at least acquainted with or had a casual friendship with Andy Reid. It's very likely that Taylor "dating" Travis Kelce was Scott Swift’s idea. During my “research” on this entire situation, I’ve come across multiple remarks about Taylor’s team traveling to/having meetings in KC in March of 2023. I am guessing that Taylor was so in love with Matty that she put her foot down with her team (including Scott) and wouldn’t participate in their plans regarding Travis at that time. Instead, she likely insisted on the April 8th announcement of the breakup with Joe and doubled down on her relationship with Matty, mouthing loving messages to him and making her speech on stage about how happy she was and how her life finally made sense, being seen with him repeatedly and allowing him to be seen carrying bags into her apartment, etc.
I don’t know if Taylor or her team anticipated exactly how bad the publicity surrounding Matty would be or how intensely negative the response would be from a very vocal portion of her fanbase. I feel like most of us know about the narratives that ramped up against Matty, the SpeakUpNow letter, Swifties threatening to sell their concert tickets, Matty and his people receiving death threats, just all the BAD MESS, so I won’t make this even longer by going too deep into it. I have no doubt Taylor and Matty were experiencing a ton of pressure and emotional whiplash during all of that, which ultimately led to a painful and traumatic breakup for them. And that brings us right back to the suspended Travis Kelce plan. Taylor had shows in KC on July 7th and 8th of 2023. A couple weeks after that we get the cute little story from Travis on his podcast about trying to give Taylor a friendship bracelet with his number on it at her show (I have never and will never believe that bs for a single moment, no matter what). According to them, they start hanging out shortly after that, which is likely true. Ryan Reynolds apparently started following Travis on Instagram in early August so that timing checks out. (I could go off into a whole thing about Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes joining Ryan in the F1 Alpine deal, but this is already just SO MUCH). Next thing you know, we get Taylor appearing at a Chiefs game on September 24th and it’s on from there. According to some Chiefs players, Taylor had already attended a game or two unnoticed and unmentioned (supposedly in the owners’ suite) prior to that September 24th game. That’s interesting to note because of all it implies, such as how much the Chiefs/Hunts may have had to do with this whole deal between Taylor and Travis or just how it was clearly a choice with big motivations behind it for her to be seen at that 9/24 game.
Everything then goes AS PLANNED AND ORCHESTRATED for a few months. The public is captivated by the Taylor and Travis showmance and not even thinking much about Joe Alwyn or Matty Healy or any of the negative publicity surrounding Taylor anymore, the Chiefs and the entire NFL are profiting enormously, the popularity of the New Heights podcast is skyrocketing and catching the attention of major networks, every member of the Kelce family and Travis’ inner circle sees their public profile rising and more and more opportunities coming their way, the Eras tour is a history making success and so is the movie, the Chiefs pull off another Super Bowl win…it’s just a glorious, fantastic time when the whole plan is coming together and everyone remotely involved or connected to Taylor and Travis is benefiting and profiting beyond their wildest dreams. During all of this, Taylor is obviously working on TTPD, and everything connected to it, but I guess no one on Taylor’s team is too concerned about that because it keeps her motivated and pacified and it’s only going to make them all even more money so everything is just great, great, great. BUT THEN Taylor shows up at the Grammys drunk, making an ass of herself and announces the release. Now everyone is maybe back to thinking and talking about Taylor and Joe a bit, but it’s still ok because at least they aren’t talking about Matty and the Taylor and Travis show is still getting tons of attention, Travis is getting acting opportunities, all the Kelces are still benefiting in various ways; it’s all still good.
Then TTPD is released, and everything starts to take a turn. People are still talking, but now it’s mostly about Taylor and Matty or about Taylor and Travis, but only about what a great boyfriend Travis is to Taylor and what a perfect couple they are and their hypothetical impending nuptials and future potential offspring, etc. It probably doesn’t help that it’s off-season and there are no Chiefs games where Travis can shine with his football skills to try to bring some of the spotlight back to anything other than him maybe being the future Mr. Taylor Swift. Despite what many Swifties theorize about Travis, I do not for one moment think that’s his aim in life. This man wants FAME. His own mother repeatedly states how much he loves being the center of attention. And sure, he gets a lot of attention right now, but I have a feeling this is not panning out to be what he was hoping for when he signed up for all of this. His podcast is doing great, but its enormous surge in popularity is largely due to Swifties tuning in, hoping to hear a mention of Taylor (yes, I know it was already a very popular podcast – we wouldn’t be here if Travis Kelce had been an unsuccessful nobody, obviously). Everywhere he goes, everything he does, it’s all about Taylor now. Even at KELCE Jam, he was inundated with questions about Taylor. That might not be an issue except this is a man who already had a very big ego and desire to be hyper famous before Taylor Swift entered the picture. It may have seemed like a golden opportunity initially, but I think reality may be setting in for Travis and Co. and this may not have been the best deal for them in the long run. But the Chiefs and the NFL are deep into it now as well and l bet Travis has pressures on him that I would not even want to imagine coming from that side.
Meanwhile we have Taylor out here messing up the plans again, sending secret messages and singing surprise songs to Matty Healy during her sold-out concert tour where she’s added an entire set to imitate Matty and heighten the speculation and discussion surrounding their big “cosmic, tortured romance.” I feel sure she’s still in love with Matty and is absolutely in contact with him. Logically, their friendships and professional circles are far too intertwined for me to believe they would not be in any form of contact throughout all of this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they were already back together. I think it’s highly possible they’ve even been back together since shortly after their breakup last summer and that likely helped fuel the big push to launch the “relationship” between her and Travis the world. That’s another post for another time though and I still haven’t fully drawn my conclusions about that. Very long story short, I think they are all in a great big mess right now and things are taking a toll, and cracks are showing. I think this may all come crashing down around a lot of people very soon, but I’m betting Taylor Swift comes out on top no matter what somehow. Some people are just lucky like that.
2024.05.21 19:31 Natural_Subject9439 Need advice + am I valid in feeling this way?
Long post ahead so bear with me.
I’m 24F dating my 24M boyfriend for 4 years. Overall I’d say our relationship has been pretty good - no serious issues until now, all of our fights have been over his tendency to be moody or passive aggressive.
Some background information: I’m on the neurodivergent spectrum and suffer from depressive episodes, but I’m high functioning because I don’t want it to affect my professional life or anyone else but me. A side effect of that has been my tendency to isolate myself from everyone, which I’ve done for the majority of our relationship - sometimes I didn’t interact with anyone at all except for my family and my bf. I haven’t gone a single day in the last 6 years without any contact with him.
I realized that this wasn’t healthy so this year I decided to try and come out of my shell and build more friendships. It’s a bit hard but I’ve been working on it slowly, and one of my newfound friends was one of my bf’s friends, J (23M), as well - they had been friends for about a year at this point. We hit it off pretty well and as someone who’s really bad at friendships I enjoyed talking to J, but it was strictly platonic - nothing out of the ordinary, exactly like every friendship I have/have ever had. Please keep in mind I did not prioritize interactions I had with J or anyone else over ones I had with my bf.
While my bf initially really liked J, around the time we started becoming friends he started to sour on J until he eventually just started icing him because he didn’t like anything about him all of a sudden, and the only reason he could come up with was “J was annoying.” He also told me he found it “weird” that he chose to be friends with his friend’s gf (confused about that one because I met some of my closest friends through him/his circles). I reassure him that there’s nothing weird going on and my friendship with J is, once again, platonic. In all honesty, I also didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t find J to be annoying and my bf has had a pattern of disliking some of my friends for no apparent reason, even if he’d never talked to them. (My friends are all just goofy nerds so I never really got why.)
3 weeks ago my bf tells me he thinks J is trying to sleep with me but he has no evidence or thoughts to support this. I’m obviously shocked and once again reassure him that I’ve never picked up sleazy vibes from J and he’s never been inappropriate with me. I’ve had really creepy encounters before so I’m always hyperalert about these kinds of things and if I do get those vibes I shut them down immediately.
Onto the main clown show: last week my bf texts me angry that I’ve been lying to him and that I’ve been repeatedly gaslighting him into thinking my friendship with J was normal, but after a conversation with one of his other friends he’s convinced that he’s right and it’s inappropriate for J to be friends with me. Then he goes ahead and texts J to stop texting me and accuses him, amongst other things, of being a creep. To the surprise of absolutely no one, turns out this scenario that my bf created of J secretly trying to steal me away from him was completely false and J is both hurt and pissed about it. He tells him that he’s only ever thought of him as a good friend and he never had ill intentions towards me but he cannot in good conscience be ok with this and subsequently cuts both of us off.
For obvious reasons, I’m extremely pissed about this and we have a blowout fight over it, because turns out I don’t like anyone messing with my friendships like that and falsely accusing someone who’s done nothing wrong to you of being a creep is a shitty thing to do. He genuinely didn’t see anything wrong about what he did and “he did what he had to because he was desperate to get J out of my life and I left him no other choice.” He also told me that if he woke up to find out I did something to cause his friends to cut him off, he’d assume I had a good reason to do so and everything that happened with J was for the best. He screamed at me, accused me of being disrespectful and thinking of him as an insecure loser, called me a whole slew of hurtful things, that I’m disgusting and make him feel worthless and that he fucking hates me repeatedly. It overall just turned into a really ugly mess.
The next morning he was calmer and apologized for the hurtful things he said and that he didn’t mean any of it. He also admitted what he did was wrong, that he overreacted out of paranoia, and that he’s sorry he hurt J and ruined my friendship with him. He admitted that I was right, there wasn’t anything weird going on like he thought and he apologized for messing with my personal life.
The issue is I’m having a hard time processing all of this. First of all this couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I have a lot of personal issues going on that I’m incredibly stressed out about and he’s well aware of that. He’s also aware that I’ve always struggled with making friends, and now any urge I’ve had to do that is gone. I can’t get over him saying I make him feel worthless because I’ve dedicated so much and sacrificed so much to be with him and make him happy every way I could. I’ve never and still don’t prioritize anyone else over him. Having your boyfriend of nearly 5 years tell you he doesn’t trust you and despises you is also pretty fucking shitty because I’ve never done anything distrustful or been anywhere near as hurtful as he has been to me. His apologies sound hollow and lukewarm to me because at the end of the day, he got exactly what he wanted. And I’m left to suck it up and deal with it.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m alone backed into a corner and I’m about to break with all the other things going on in my life. I’m sorry if this post isn’t very coherent but I’m a little tipsy right now. I just feel so violated and I’ve never felt more horrible or alone in my life than I do now and I’ve never not felt like that my entire life. I don’t know and can’t tell if I’m the one who messed up here and what I should do. Any advice, harsh or gentle is appreciated.
TLDR: bf incorrectly assumed mutual friend was trying to sleep with me and subsequently went nuclear on both me and friend. Am hurt and don’t know how or if I should resolve this.
submitted by Natural_Subject9439 to relationships [link] [comments]
I’m 24F dating my 24M boyfriend for 4 years. Overall I’d say our relationship has been pretty good - no serious issues until now, all of our fights have been over his tendency to be moody or passive aggressive.
Some background information: I’m on the neurodivergent spectrum and suffer from depressive episodes, but I’m high functioning because I don’t want it to affect my professional life or anyone else but me. A side effect of that has been my tendency to isolate myself from everyone, which I’ve done for the majority of our relationship - sometimes I didn’t interact with anyone at all except for my family and my bf. I haven’t gone a single day in the last 6 years without any contact with him.
I realized that this wasn’t healthy so this year I decided to try and come out of my shell and build more friendships. It’s a bit hard but I’ve been working on it slowly, and one of my newfound friends was one of my bf’s friends, J (23M), as well - they had been friends for about a year at this point. We hit it off pretty well and as someone who’s really bad at friendships I enjoyed talking to J, but it was strictly platonic - nothing out of the ordinary, exactly like every friendship I have/have ever had. Please keep in mind I did not prioritize interactions I had with J or anyone else over ones I had with my bf.
While my bf initially really liked J, around the time we started becoming friends he started to sour on J until he eventually just started icing him because he didn’t like anything about him all of a sudden, and the only reason he could come up with was “J was annoying.” He also told me he found it “weird” that he chose to be friends with his friend’s gf (confused about that one because I met some of my closest friends through him/his circles). I reassure him that there’s nothing weird going on and my friendship with J is, once again, platonic. In all honesty, I also didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t find J to be annoying and my bf has had a pattern of disliking some of my friends for no apparent reason, even if he’d never talked to them. (My friends are all just goofy nerds so I never really got why.)
3 weeks ago my bf tells me he thinks J is trying to sleep with me but he has no evidence or thoughts to support this. I’m obviously shocked and once again reassure him that I’ve never picked up sleazy vibes from J and he’s never been inappropriate with me. I’ve had really creepy encounters before so I’m always hyperalert about these kinds of things and if I do get those vibes I shut them down immediately.
Onto the main clown show: last week my bf texts me angry that I’ve been lying to him and that I’ve been repeatedly gaslighting him into thinking my friendship with J was normal, but after a conversation with one of his other friends he’s convinced that he’s right and it’s inappropriate for J to be friends with me. Then he goes ahead and texts J to stop texting me and accuses him, amongst other things, of being a creep. To the surprise of absolutely no one, turns out this scenario that my bf created of J secretly trying to steal me away from him was completely false and J is both hurt and pissed about it. He tells him that he’s only ever thought of him as a good friend and he never had ill intentions towards me but he cannot in good conscience be ok with this and subsequently cuts both of us off.
For obvious reasons, I’m extremely pissed about this and we have a blowout fight over it, because turns out I don’t like anyone messing with my friendships like that and falsely accusing someone who’s done nothing wrong to you of being a creep is a shitty thing to do. He genuinely didn’t see anything wrong about what he did and “he did what he had to because he was desperate to get J out of my life and I left him no other choice.” He also told me that if he woke up to find out I did something to cause his friends to cut him off, he’d assume I had a good reason to do so and everything that happened with J was for the best. He screamed at me, accused me of being disrespectful and thinking of him as an insecure loser, called me a whole slew of hurtful things, that I’m disgusting and make him feel worthless and that he fucking hates me repeatedly. It overall just turned into a really ugly mess.
The next morning he was calmer and apologized for the hurtful things he said and that he didn’t mean any of it. He also admitted what he did was wrong, that he overreacted out of paranoia, and that he’s sorry he hurt J and ruined my friendship with him. He admitted that I was right, there wasn’t anything weird going on like he thought and he apologized for messing with my personal life.
The issue is I’m having a hard time processing all of this. First of all this couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I have a lot of personal issues going on that I’m incredibly stressed out about and he’s well aware of that. He’s also aware that I’ve always struggled with making friends, and now any urge I’ve had to do that is gone. I can’t get over him saying I make him feel worthless because I’ve dedicated so much and sacrificed so much to be with him and make him happy every way I could. I’ve never and still don’t prioritize anyone else over him. Having your boyfriend of nearly 5 years tell you he doesn’t trust you and despises you is also pretty fucking shitty because I’ve never done anything distrustful or been anywhere near as hurtful as he has been to me. His apologies sound hollow and lukewarm to me because at the end of the day, he got exactly what he wanted. And I’m left to suck it up and deal with it.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m alone backed into a corner and I’m about to break with all the other things going on in my life. I’m sorry if this post isn’t very coherent but I’m a little tipsy right now. I just feel so violated and I’ve never felt more horrible or alone in my life than I do now and I’ve never not felt like that my entire life. I don’t know and can’t tell if I’m the one who messed up here and what I should do. Any advice, harsh or gentle is appreciated.
TLDR: bf incorrectly assumed mutual friend was trying to sleep with me and subsequently went nuclear on both me and friend. Am hurt and don’t know how or if I should resolve this.
2024.05.21 19:03 shitfucker69420 Can ai be used to access websites / interact with them?
Hey people! I have been thinking a lot as to what my first project in programming should be and I have recently gotten an idea that might just suffice. The project would be an easily accessible database of useful websites (e.g. python articles sorted by topic / knowledge level) using python as the main language. I am hoping to create an ai - renewed database of websites with easy access to it via a bit of code to search through it. The most problematic part would be to make an ai that could, in theory, search up "keywords" or some pattern that would bring up websites in a search engine, then access the website, figure out whether the website page is following on a requested topic, copy and return as a result its' URL. Could it be, in theory, possible to create such a program? I am still not very educated when it comes to AI - related stuff, so feel free to make an absolute fool of me in the comments, or just leave nothing, I guess. Anything remotely close to this has not been covered anywhere i searched (or I may be blind - just send me the thread where someone says its not efficient at all). I would very likely need to learn a lot of stuff for that, but I have the whole summer to create a prototype for project defense so at least tell me if it is worth the time, that will be the end of my Ted talk
submitted by shitfucker69420 to learnprogramming [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 19:01 TanaSwan Taylor giving Travis the Blank Space treatment
I know a lot of people are talking about her recreating the Bejeweled music video in her relationship with Travis but she’s obviously doing Blank Space too. Not a new thought but worth diving more into.
Travis says it’s his favorite song. The Lake Como Villa looks a lot like the one in the Blank Space MV. I was also realizing that at the end of the MV, the next guy/PR relationship shows up in a red convertible which reminded me a lot of the convertible we first see them get into after the first football game she attended.
The lyrics of Blank Space fit so well. I’ve got my thoughts below. What else do you all see?
———-
Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven, sin Saw you there and I thought "Oh, my God, look at that face You look like my next mistake Love's a game, wanna play?" Ay
New money, suit and tie I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it funny? Rumors fly And I know you heard about me So hey, let's be friends
I'm dying to see how this one ends Grab your passport and my hand I can make the bad guys good for a weekend
So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over, mm If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane 'Cause you know I love the players And you love the game
'Cause we're young, and we're reckless We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless, mm Or with a nasty scar Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane But I've got a blank space, baby And I'll write your name
Cherry lips, crystal skies I could show you incredible things Stolen kisses, pretty lies You're the King, baby, I'm your Queen
Find out what you want Be that girl for a month
Wait, the worst is yet to come, oh, no Screaming, crying, perfect storms I can make all the tables turn
Rose garden filled with thorns Keep you second guessing like "Oh, my God, who is she?" I get drunk on jealousy But you'll come back each time you leave 'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream
Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya
submitted by TanaSwan to taylorandmatty [link] [comments]
Travis says it’s his favorite song. The Lake Como Villa looks a lot like the one in the Blank Space MV. I was also realizing that at the end of the MV, the next guy/PR relationship shows up in a red convertible which reminded me a lot of the convertible we first see them get into after the first football game she attended.
The lyrics of Blank Space fit so well. I’ve got my thoughts below. What else do you all see?
———-
Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven, sin Saw you there and I thought "Oh, my God, look at that face You look like my next mistake Love's a game, wanna play?" Ay
—Taylor chooses her next beard - this time it’s Travis. Love’s a game, wanna play? Might as well pick a football player to make the game analogy more obvious. She can show him amazing things. Make his Hollywood dreams come true.
New money, suit and tie I can read you like a magazine
—Travis is the epitome of new money, suit & tie with his flamboyant dressing style. Pin stripe three piece suits, etc. She can read him like a magazine because he’s not deep enough to be a book.
Ain't it funny? Rumors fly And I know you heard about me So hey, let's be friends
—Travis goes on his podcast and talks about wanting to give her a friendship bracelet (lol) causing rumors to fly.
I'm dying to see how this one ends Grab your passport and my hand I can make the bad guys good for a weekend
—Travis says how they are planning to travel all over Europe together this summer during Eras. Get that passport ready Buddy.
So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over, mm If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane 'Cause you know I love the players And you love the game
—Is it going to be worth it Travis? We know you love the game.
'Cause we're young, and we're reckless We'll take this way too far
—Will they actually get engaged? Will they get married? How far will they take it?
It'll leave you breathless, mm Or with a nasty scar Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane But I've got a blank space, baby And I'll write your name
—Travis’s favorite song? She blows him a kiss during this song? C’mon
Cherry lips, crystal skies I could show you incredible things Stolen kisses, pretty lies You're the King, baby, I'm your Queen
—I feel So High School. Almost like Tayvis is Homecoming King & Queen right? Stolen kisses backstage, on a boat in Italy… it’s true, swear, scouts honor.
Find out what you want Be that girl for a month
—Travy wants a WAG, right? Taylor says bet, I can be the Waggiest Wag to ever Wag. I’ll drape myself in Chiefs gear and show up to every game. She can be that girl for a while…
Wait, the worst is yet to come, oh, no Screaming, crying, perfect storms I can make all the tables turn
—Until she drops TTPD. Completely about an ex. She’s screaming, she’s crying, she’s craaaaaaazy. Wait where did the fun, bubbly WAG go?
Rose garden filled with thorns Keep you second guessing like "Oh, my God, who is she?" I get drunk on jealousy But you'll come back each time you leave 'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream
—Stories come out about how she can’t bear to be without him. She’s insecure, maybe jealous? Photos show them looking sad, bored, over it. Is the daydream starting to feel like a nightmare?
Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn ya
Don’t say she didn’t warn you Travis. You already know, babe.
2024.05.21 18:48 smolghoulie Alt/Goth Island Brainstorm?
I've been in a not-so-good place mentally for a while now. And uni classes have let out and long story short I won't be able to work over the summer, among other things. So I was thinking of starting a new AC Island, but dark and gothic. Thing is, my sad brain is not very creative atm, so I've been trying to think of an Island name and other ideas for over a week now and just keep getting disappointed in my creativity block. Anyone have any ideas to throw out there? What are some island names? Or vague character nicknames (as it may be odd to use a name besides my own)? Who are the best villagers for this theme? Any good K.K. songs that work? Any pattern creators for paths anyone can recommend? I did search the sub and didn't find anything like this, so I hope this is ok.
submitted by smolghoulie to AnimalCrossing [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 18:39 AcanthaceaeWitty74 My parents (M58, F56) have replaced me (M33) with a guy (M28) that I believe is taking advantage of them. What should I do?
Never thought I would be making a post on here, but I only get 3 free therapist visits a year so here I am.
TLDR : My parents have fully replaced me with some guy (M28) they met at work/ church. I'm slightly hurt but ultimately it's their life and they can do what the please. I am more bewildered, and concerned about my parents being taken advantage of.
First some relevant background info:
My parents are VERY religious boomers. by this I mean more religious than you would believe until you actually spoke to them. growing up this created a lot of friction between us. As I reached my teens I became disillusioned with organized Christianity mostly due to the fact that a lot of modern day interpretations miss the point of what is written in the Bible. the hypocrisy I witnessed was rampant among church members including my parents. I strongly disliked their thinly veiled revulsion for any people who they considered "sinners", a title which was doled out on a whim. even while I was in the church it would be weaponized against other church goers and even myself once. a pastor from another church told a girl I was hanging out with that I would lead her to hell, despite the fact that I also went to church. she promptly cut off all contact despite admitting that she didn't want to, but was being threatened with being kicked out of her church groups of she did not.
back to my parents: we were at odds throughout my teen years as I began to avoid church and anything about it. I did not stop believing but I did not want to be associated with their type of toxic Christianity. this was not something they could understand. when I say they are fully indoctrinated it means they are irredeemable in many of their views. they were willing to ignore any and all boundaries I set about religion even to this day. despite me telling them that what they were doing would tear our family apart. in the end they chose religion over their children. my sister is essentially no contact with them.
as a very young child, our family moved around a lot. I was a continual outsider. I had no friends, at all. my parents would say it was no big deal cause I was just a kid and kids don't care about that stuff really, kids don't know the difference, etc. but I knew the difference and I desperately wanted friendship and community. the only constants were 2 hyper controlling parents who wanted a quiet and obedient follower.
eventually we moved to a place where I was able to form solid friendships for the first time in my life. it was , to this day, the happiest time period of my life. this lasted until my final year of high school when my parents decided to move. despite me having many friends whose parents offered me a place to stay for the final year, my parents forced me to move. this caused me to spiral into a deep depression for around 3 years. I developed enduring social anxiety which I deal with to this day. I have made peace with the fact that I will never have a lot of friends, but thinking about what I missed out on is painful. years later I found out they forced me to move because they prayed and God told them it would be better for all of us if I moved with them. we needed to stay together as a family. then 2 years later they moved back to the place they took me from. all I can do is laugh at this because it is so dark and obviously bullshit. when it was my life getting fucked up "God" said ok we needed to stay together as a family. when I needed support he said naw just ditch him and move away.
my life was destroyed by religion. I have since learned that of course, we are ultimately in charge of our own happiness, but at the time I had no knowledge of trauma or therapy. simply 2 parents who reduced every concern I ever had in my life to "just pray about it". in fact throughout my entire life they diminished all of my concerns, big and small. in addition, they would often judge me for everything I did, even if they were innocent to a non religious person. so I would only tell them about things when I absolutely had no other choice. and they would treat them as wholly unimportant. they also believed that men should not be upset or emotional and should figure things out for themselves. so they would help my sister out whenever she needed it, including buying her a new car, while I was riding my bike an hour each way to go to engineering school. there were many points in my life where I was at rock bottom, and despite them having more than enough means to help me, they did not.
compounding this is the fact that all the while they diminished my own concerns, they would bend over backwards to help people not in our family. they always wanted to appear nice and helpful, but this never extended to me. in fact they would often do things to inconvenience me in order to help some random person they just met.
All of these circumstances created a very weird relationship dynamic between us all. I became avoidant, negative and pessimistic for years before I discovered therapy and began to work through my mental health issues. I struggled in many relationships I had, and always felt like I was a lesser person than everyone else. this persisted until around 3 years ago when I began to correct the errors in my thinking patterns. despite therapy, I still struggle to have a relationship with my parents. all they talk about is religion. I have given up trying to enforce the boundary there. there is no point. they don't know anything else. they cannot be different and have no desire to change, in fact they see no error in their actions throughout the years. despite me obviously having issues. they essentially chalk it up to me just being a bad egg. I have since been able to forgive them, but the trauma I experienced throughout my life has left me with tendencies they hate. I withdraw when I am depressed, I am prone to anxiety from time to time, I have ADHD, I distance myself from them because all they do is cross my boundaries to preach at me, etc etc.
Back to the present:
Before my dad retired he hired this guy, let's call him Raj, at his work. just a basic bank employee. he is a nice enough guy I think. a little awkward but nice enough. I believe he has an engineering degree from another country but it got rejected by our country, so he had to just take whatever job he could get. he is new to the country and a bit of a fish out of water, this is the reason I think most people looked past his non ordinary behavior.... I literally cannot imagine myself ever hanging out or going on vacations with my boss, who is 20+ years older than me.
he struggled to understand the job and my dad had to spend a lot of time with him to get him up to speed. he began to go to my dad for life advice beyond work, as he struggled with making friends or getting a girlfriend. I think eventually my parents invited him to church and he went, despite being originally Hindu. eventually he went with them regularly and integrated himself with them to a wild extent that I did not realize until this past weekend when they came to "visit". they brought this motherfucker with them without saying shit beforehand. paid for his hotel and all his food. bought him clothes and took him on errands. all while saying they didn't really have time to assist me; I cannot drive anymore as I began having seizures 3 years ago.
when we did finally hang out, my own parents mistakenly called me his name many times. they acted like a family and treated me like I was just some dude lol.
we went out to dinner with some friends of theirs who were also in town. during dinner they called Raj my parents adopted son. needless to say I was very weirded out. but did not say anything. if I did they would just say I was being negative and I look like the asshole.
I know Raj does not make a lot of money but somehow he was able to buy a small house a year after starting work. I have not seen proof personally but my sister has said she is sure that my pprovided the down payment. this is where I began to be concerned they are being taken advantage of. this is very out of character for my parents.
I have considered also the weirdest possiblity, that they may have some kind of weird ass sugar baby relationship but I simply cannot see that being the case. they are hypocrites about some aspects of Christianity, such as not judging people, but they are 1000% devout when it comes to what they would deem as sin.
I get the impression that they have empty nest syndrome and compounded with their propensity to bend over backwards for non family members, they have essentially adopted this guy. he is at their house several times a week. as far as I know my mom prepares most of his meals.
it appears to me that they found a replacement for me with none of the mental health issues and resentment ( that they caused) and who was willing to play the part of a church goer. I fear now, based on watching them shop together that he is taking advantage of them. If they are just choosing to help him out money wise that is MASSIVELY out of character for them to do so to this extent. this is the main reason I think they are being taken advantage of. they are doing things for this guy they would NEVER do for anyone.
I am not sure how to approach this situation or what to even think about it. I lack the bandwidth to really mull it over or be upset about it. one thing I am certain of is that me saying anything about this will do nothing except make them mad and bring them closer together .they think I am simply a negative person and don't really listen to my thoughts on things, whether I am right or not.they have always treated me like I'm a moron
Is this as weird to you as it is to me? What would you do in this scenario?
submitted by AcanthaceaeWitty74 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
TLDR : My parents have fully replaced me with some guy (M28) they met at work/ church. I'm slightly hurt but ultimately it's their life and they can do what the please. I am more bewildered, and concerned about my parents being taken advantage of.
First some relevant background info:
My parents are VERY religious boomers. by this I mean more religious than you would believe until you actually spoke to them. growing up this created a lot of friction between us. As I reached my teens I became disillusioned with organized Christianity mostly due to the fact that a lot of modern day interpretations miss the point of what is written in the Bible. the hypocrisy I witnessed was rampant among church members including my parents. I strongly disliked their thinly veiled revulsion for any people who they considered "sinners", a title which was doled out on a whim. even while I was in the church it would be weaponized against other church goers and even myself once. a pastor from another church told a girl I was hanging out with that I would lead her to hell, despite the fact that I also went to church. she promptly cut off all contact despite admitting that she didn't want to, but was being threatened with being kicked out of her church groups of she did not.
back to my parents: we were at odds throughout my teen years as I began to avoid church and anything about it. I did not stop believing but I did not want to be associated with their type of toxic Christianity. this was not something they could understand. when I say they are fully indoctrinated it means they are irredeemable in many of their views. they were willing to ignore any and all boundaries I set about religion even to this day. despite me telling them that what they were doing would tear our family apart. in the end they chose religion over their children. my sister is essentially no contact with them.
as a very young child, our family moved around a lot. I was a continual outsider. I had no friends, at all. my parents would say it was no big deal cause I was just a kid and kids don't care about that stuff really, kids don't know the difference, etc. but I knew the difference and I desperately wanted friendship and community. the only constants were 2 hyper controlling parents who wanted a quiet and obedient follower.
eventually we moved to a place where I was able to form solid friendships for the first time in my life. it was , to this day, the happiest time period of my life. this lasted until my final year of high school when my parents decided to move. despite me having many friends whose parents offered me a place to stay for the final year, my parents forced me to move. this caused me to spiral into a deep depression for around 3 years. I developed enduring social anxiety which I deal with to this day. I have made peace with the fact that I will never have a lot of friends, but thinking about what I missed out on is painful. years later I found out they forced me to move because they prayed and God told them it would be better for all of us if I moved with them. we needed to stay together as a family. then 2 years later they moved back to the place they took me from. all I can do is laugh at this because it is so dark and obviously bullshit. when it was my life getting fucked up "God" said ok we needed to stay together as a family. when I needed support he said naw just ditch him and move away.
my life was destroyed by religion. I have since learned that of course, we are ultimately in charge of our own happiness, but at the time I had no knowledge of trauma or therapy. simply 2 parents who reduced every concern I ever had in my life to "just pray about it". in fact throughout my entire life they diminished all of my concerns, big and small. in addition, they would often judge me for everything I did, even if they were innocent to a non religious person. so I would only tell them about things when I absolutely had no other choice. and they would treat them as wholly unimportant. they also believed that men should not be upset or emotional and should figure things out for themselves. so they would help my sister out whenever she needed it, including buying her a new car, while I was riding my bike an hour each way to go to engineering school. there were many points in my life where I was at rock bottom, and despite them having more than enough means to help me, they did not.
compounding this is the fact that all the while they diminished my own concerns, they would bend over backwards to help people not in our family. they always wanted to appear nice and helpful, but this never extended to me. in fact they would often do things to inconvenience me in order to help some random person they just met.
All of these circumstances created a very weird relationship dynamic between us all. I became avoidant, negative and pessimistic for years before I discovered therapy and began to work through my mental health issues. I struggled in many relationships I had, and always felt like I was a lesser person than everyone else. this persisted until around 3 years ago when I began to correct the errors in my thinking patterns. despite therapy, I still struggle to have a relationship with my parents. all they talk about is religion. I have given up trying to enforce the boundary there. there is no point. they don't know anything else. they cannot be different and have no desire to change, in fact they see no error in their actions throughout the years. despite me obviously having issues. they essentially chalk it up to me just being a bad egg. I have since been able to forgive them, but the trauma I experienced throughout my life has left me with tendencies they hate. I withdraw when I am depressed, I am prone to anxiety from time to time, I have ADHD, I distance myself from them because all they do is cross my boundaries to preach at me, etc etc.
Back to the present:
Before my dad retired he hired this guy, let's call him Raj, at his work. just a basic bank employee. he is a nice enough guy I think. a little awkward but nice enough. I believe he has an engineering degree from another country but it got rejected by our country, so he had to just take whatever job he could get. he is new to the country and a bit of a fish out of water, this is the reason I think most people looked past his non ordinary behavior.... I literally cannot imagine myself ever hanging out or going on vacations with my boss, who is 20+ years older than me.
he struggled to understand the job and my dad had to spend a lot of time with him to get him up to speed. he began to go to my dad for life advice beyond work, as he struggled with making friends or getting a girlfriend. I think eventually my parents invited him to church and he went, despite being originally Hindu. eventually he went with them regularly and integrated himself with them to a wild extent that I did not realize until this past weekend when they came to "visit". they brought this motherfucker with them without saying shit beforehand. paid for his hotel and all his food. bought him clothes and took him on errands. all while saying they didn't really have time to assist me; I cannot drive anymore as I began having seizures 3 years ago.
when we did finally hang out, my own parents mistakenly called me his name many times. they acted like a family and treated me like I was just some dude lol.
we went out to dinner with some friends of theirs who were also in town. during dinner they called Raj my parents adopted son. needless to say I was very weirded out. but did not say anything. if I did they would just say I was being negative and I look like the asshole.
I know Raj does not make a lot of money but somehow he was able to buy a small house a year after starting work. I have not seen proof personally but my sister has said she is sure that my pprovided the down payment. this is where I began to be concerned they are being taken advantage of. this is very out of character for my parents.
I have considered also the weirdest possiblity, that they may have some kind of weird ass sugar baby relationship but I simply cannot see that being the case. they are hypocrites about some aspects of Christianity, such as not judging people, but they are 1000% devout when it comes to what they would deem as sin.
I get the impression that they have empty nest syndrome and compounded with their propensity to bend over backwards for non family members, they have essentially adopted this guy. he is at their house several times a week. as far as I know my mom prepares most of his meals.
it appears to me that they found a replacement for me with none of the mental health issues and resentment ( that they caused) and who was willing to play the part of a church goer. I fear now, based on watching them shop together that he is taking advantage of them. If they are just choosing to help him out money wise that is MASSIVELY out of character for them to do so to this extent. this is the main reason I think they are being taken advantage of. they are doing things for this guy they would NEVER do for anyone.
I am not sure how to approach this situation or what to even think about it. I lack the bandwidth to really mull it over or be upset about it. one thing I am certain of is that me saying anything about this will do nothing except make them mad and bring them closer together .they think I am simply a negative person and don't really listen to my thoughts on things, whether I am right or not.they have always treated me like I'm a moron
Is this as weird to you as it is to me? What would you do in this scenario?
2024.05.21 18:33 Livid_Apartment4527 learning how to be independent
I'm a 17-year-old student who's been doing some serious soul-searching lately. One of the hardest truths I've had to face is that I haven't been as emotionally stable as I'd like to be. Instead of facing my problems head-on, I've often sought comfort in the familiarity of my parents' support. But here's the thing: I've come to realize that this pattern has turned me into something I never wanted to be – a leech. Instead of seeking guidance and learning to navigate life's challenges, I've allowed my emotions to dictate my actions, often making me come across as entitled or even bratty. Don't get me wrong – I know I'm intelligent and capable of so much more. But I've let my feelings get the best of me, and it's time for a change. That's why I'm seriously considering the idea of attending boarding school. I see it as an opportunity not only to gain independence but also to work on my emotional growth in a supportive environment. Being away from the familiar comforts of home will force me to confront my emotions and learn to deal with them in a healthier way .I know it won't be easy, and there will undoubtedly be challenges along the way. But I believe that facing these challenges head-on is the only way I'll truly grow as a person. If anyone has struggled with similar issues or has experience with emotional growth and development, I would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. How did you learn to manage your emotions and become more emotionally stable? And for those who attended boarding school, how did the experience contribute to your personal growth? Cost wise i'd be doing it in my home country so boarding is not as expensive., i'm even dedicated to working all summer to pay for it. Or does this idea in general just make me sound even more dependent on my parents. I'm seriously trying to find a better solution. I really need help as i need to realize my parents are not going to be here forever. Life is short i could lose them anytime, i'm thankful and greatful for their efforts as they've provided me with everything and more, but if i don't build this backbone i'm screwed.
submitted by Livid_Apartment4527 to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 18:29 Korae 88% Winrate to Mythic - I love my Big Black Deck (necropotence is bad)
 | The DeckMoxfield Link to the decklist: https://www.moxfield.com/decks/OsszAWZ8aEumTmqFC-kJxQhttps://preview.redd.it/652pxlyais1d1.png?width=1912&format=png&auto=webp&s=44299f4e05f67e18f1bc819b06d8c24c1d557bd6 https://preview.redd.it/o3l9mx83is1d1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd2f538e176117404c679bb3d0730ddae4678ad4 Recently, I went on a 30-4 TEAR with mono-black to mythic. Today I'll be providing a write-up on the deck and my thoughts on it so that other members of the community can have a go at playing it. I personally think that dark ritual and reanimate are two of the best cards in the format, and that black also has the best interaction in the format, so I've spent a lot of time tinkering with Bx or mono-B lists since OTJ dropped. I spent a lot of time trying to make a necropotence build work, until I tried this sheoldred + ring build and saw amazing results. Yes, there's some crazy amount of luck here. An 88% winrate can't last forever. 34 games in an online ladder is almost nothing at the end of the day. But I do want to share the deck, as I'd love to see the community refine and improve this list. Necropotence is worse than The One RingI really do think that this build is superior to Necropotence builds (see my first idea for this deck running necro+some devotion cards https://www.moxfield.com/decks/IEB_vC54_EOgmckgg3vzAQ ). Necropotence is a very punishing card in this format, and I really don't think its as broken as other people think. In Timeless, Necropotence is balanced by its sharp draw-backs and the high power level of the format. I think that The One Ring is a superior source of card advantage because it provides you protection for a turn, it can mitigate its own downside via the legend rule, and it can pair incredibly well with Sheoldred to stabilize and play the long game. Necropotence, on the other hand, does nothing in multiples (besides providing devotion), completely locks you out of the game if your opponent plays a pithing needle, cannot remove itself via the legend rule when you don't need more card advantage, and can't overcome its own life-loss with Sheoldred (you need to play a bad card like March and hemorrhage card advantage to make up for the life loss here).As a quick example, I had a game against a primeval titan player where I wasn't able to sufficiently disrupt them, and they turbo'd out a prime time early. My plan was to turbo a turn 2 Sheoldred, but that's still a losing position by itself against the Primeval Titan nut draw. They had an overwhelming board of zombies that would have killed me on the next attack step, and at any moment they could topdeck Natural Order for hoof. I only had a Sheoldred in play and 4 mana available to me, but I get lucky and top-deck a Ring, buying me a turn and gaining life with Sheoldred. After drawing 3 cards with the ring and drawing for turn, I find another ring, and legend rule it for protection again. I draw more cards, another ring, legend rule it again. Opponent died to my Sheoldred triggers and Deathrite Shaman activations before they could even make another attack. A necropotence deck would not win in this situation without playing a suboptimal storm-based win condition like Beseech the Mirror + Tendrils. Common Turn 1/2 Play-PatternsI'd like to go over every card inclusion in the deck individually, but first I'd like to first highlight some of the most busted play patterns that will win you games for context. I love this deck because I can have a broken turn 1/2, it can interact with your opponent very well, and it can also grind with the ring. I really think you should mulligan once to try and get an opening hand with a Dark Ritual or a Reanimate if you don't see these cards in your opening 7.
Individual CardsLets go over every card and why I believe it belongs in the deck:
TLDRDark Ritual is busted. You should try this deck and win some games with it. If we all work together, I'm pretty sure we can get Dark Ritual and/or Grief restricted by the end of the summer :^) |
2024.05.21 18:10 SeriesDapper5692 I (22F) Have A Feeling For My Close Friend (23F)'s Crush (23M) and He Likes Me Too, What Should I Do?
It's a long story. Please bear with me, my mind is really chaotic right now. I am in college and have a circle of female friends since the first semester. All of us went to the same major. This year will be our 4th year being a group of friends together. I cherished them a lot, they helped me a lot and one of the reasons I survived college so far.
Then came the guy. It's a little too common actually. I first got close with this guy when we're in our second year, that's on 2021. The classes were still held online due to COVID back then, so we actually never see each other in real life. He was a quiet, shy guy who didn't get noticed by others, and as the class' leader, I contacted him a lot to make sure he didn't feel leave out since the others were joking around frequently in the class' group chat. From that, he began to ask me if I already have a partner for group assigments (there were quite a lot of assigments for group of 2 people) and since my other friends know other people too, I said yes. We began to become a duo for every group assignments. He was responsible and working together with him was pretty enjoyable. We began to talk everyday about random things to each other. We even played game together. I considered him as a close friend at this point.
Then, I introduced him to one of my close friends since she also plays the game we played together. I didn't actually know the extend of their interactions, just that he helped her in game sometimes and I guess they played from time to time without me too. Then, one day in 2022, my class had a first gathering where we booked a villa and held many games and gift trades, you know the thing you did to create a bond since it's our first meeting as classmates due to the pandemic. I was very shy at the thought of seeing him in real life for the first time (he actually a good looking, he got really popular among the girls in my major after this gathering) and pretended not to see him, yet he walked up to me first and greeted me. That time was ... really magical. The villa was located in an mountain area so it was really cold and he gave me his hoodie since I got cold easily. We took a lot of photos together at that time, and it seemed everyone in our year already treated us like a "campus couple" because of that. I, of course, denied that I like him and said that we're only good friends because ... a girl like me is afraid of rejection and reading the signs wrong.
But after the gathering ended, one of my close friends (the one that I introduced to him to play game together before) suddenly announced to our female friends group that she has a crush on him. Little by little, she began to show hostility to me then there was this one point when she ignored me for two months. Even when I tried to talk to her in, she didn't give me respond. At that time, I was scared I will ruin this friendship groups. I was longing for female friendships, the thing you saw in movies, and I finally have one when I entered college so I saw them as a blessing. In high school, I either got bullied or not having friends at all since I was always coming straight home after school ended (I came from a poor family so I didn't have the money to hang out and friendship in high school requires money for me since I attended a prestigious school where almost everyone has rich parents). So, I made a decision to cut him off. I stopped talking to him. For group assignment, I grouped with other people. Little by little, the distance between the two of us widened. In the end, we didn't talk to each other anymore, and that's when my friend started to talk to me again. I didn't ruin my friendship group. My friend and him got close and by then she already "replaced" me being his group assignment's partner. I let him go, thinking that I didn't have the time and energy to date anyway since I was busy doing part-times to earn money. He came from a good family, and so does my close friend. They suited each other. I won't become a girl who abandoned her friend for a guy. Since summer of 2023, I never had a talk with him again.
I was fine, well not really. It hurt not being able to talk to him again when we used to be close, but I did this to myself. My close friend talked about him a lot in our group's chats. Apparently, she already confessed twice and got rejected. But she wanted to stay as a friend so both of them were "best friends" until now. She told us she still held feelings for him. She sent him flowers on his graduation since he graduated early than us. I didn't. Yet, he approached me and asked me to take photo together. After 1 year of no contact. On his graduation day, he asked me to take photos together, just two of us. With everyone watching.
Later, he confessed to me that he always has feelings for me. It was ... not quite a shock since I wasn't that dense, but still ... I got nauseous. Part of me wants him too, but the realistic part of me reminding me that I couldn't be that kind of girl who betrayed her close friend. I told him, I couldn't. I got a lot in my plates, I haven't graduated yet, I am not ready for relationship ... all the reasons because I couldn't bring myself to lie that I don't like him. Because I do. Very much. For years. He was everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He said he could wait until I graduate. He was waiting for me for the past 2 years, waiting a few months won't matter much.
What should I do? Should I confess everything to my friendship group? I want to talk to my friends about this, to hear their thoughts, but I couldn't because I always kept my feelings for him as a secret. Then, how about my friendships? My close friend who likes him will definitely got hurt ... am I just not suitable for friendships, since I wasn't honest? If you were in my position, will you choose your crush or your close friend?
(Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.)
submitted by SeriesDapper5692 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Then came the guy. It's a little too common actually. I first got close with this guy when we're in our second year, that's on 2021. The classes were still held online due to COVID back then, so we actually never see each other in real life. He was a quiet, shy guy who didn't get noticed by others, and as the class' leader, I contacted him a lot to make sure he didn't feel leave out since the others were joking around frequently in the class' group chat. From that, he began to ask me if I already have a partner for group assigments (there were quite a lot of assigments for group of 2 people) and since my other friends know other people too, I said yes. We began to become a duo for every group assignments. He was responsible and working together with him was pretty enjoyable. We began to talk everyday about random things to each other. We even played game together. I considered him as a close friend at this point.
Then, I introduced him to one of my close friends since she also plays the game we played together. I didn't actually know the extend of their interactions, just that he helped her in game sometimes and I guess they played from time to time without me too. Then, one day in 2022, my class had a first gathering where we booked a villa and held many games and gift trades, you know the thing you did to create a bond since it's our first meeting as classmates due to the pandemic. I was very shy at the thought of seeing him in real life for the first time (he actually a good looking, he got really popular among the girls in my major after this gathering) and pretended not to see him, yet he walked up to me first and greeted me. That time was ... really magical. The villa was located in an mountain area so it was really cold and he gave me his hoodie since I got cold easily. We took a lot of photos together at that time, and it seemed everyone in our year already treated us like a "campus couple" because of that. I, of course, denied that I like him and said that we're only good friends because ... a girl like me is afraid of rejection and reading the signs wrong.
But after the gathering ended, one of my close friends (the one that I introduced to him to play game together before) suddenly announced to our female friends group that she has a crush on him. Little by little, she began to show hostility to me then there was this one point when she ignored me for two months. Even when I tried to talk to her in, she didn't give me respond. At that time, I was scared I will ruin this friendship groups. I was longing for female friendships, the thing you saw in movies, and I finally have one when I entered college so I saw them as a blessing. In high school, I either got bullied or not having friends at all since I was always coming straight home after school ended (I came from a poor family so I didn't have the money to hang out and friendship in high school requires money for me since I attended a prestigious school where almost everyone has rich parents). So, I made a decision to cut him off. I stopped talking to him. For group assignment, I grouped with other people. Little by little, the distance between the two of us widened. In the end, we didn't talk to each other anymore, and that's when my friend started to talk to me again. I didn't ruin my friendship group. My friend and him got close and by then she already "replaced" me being his group assignment's partner. I let him go, thinking that I didn't have the time and energy to date anyway since I was busy doing part-times to earn money. He came from a good family, and so does my close friend. They suited each other. I won't become a girl who abandoned her friend for a guy. Since summer of 2023, I never had a talk with him again.
I was fine, well not really. It hurt not being able to talk to him again when we used to be close, but I did this to myself. My close friend talked about him a lot in our group's chats. Apparently, she already confessed twice and got rejected. But she wanted to stay as a friend so both of them were "best friends" until now. She told us she still held feelings for him. She sent him flowers on his graduation since he graduated early than us. I didn't. Yet, he approached me and asked me to take photo together. After 1 year of no contact. On his graduation day, he asked me to take photos together, just two of us. With everyone watching.
Later, he confessed to me that he always has feelings for me. It was ... not quite a shock since I wasn't that dense, but still ... I got nauseous. Part of me wants him too, but the realistic part of me reminding me that I couldn't be that kind of girl who betrayed her close friend. I told him, I couldn't. I got a lot in my plates, I haven't graduated yet, I am not ready for relationship ... all the reasons because I couldn't bring myself to lie that I don't like him. Because I do. Very much. For years. He was everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He said he could wait until I graduate. He was waiting for me for the past 2 years, waiting a few months won't matter much.
What should I do? Should I confess everything to my friendship group? I want to talk to my friends about this, to hear their thoughts, but I couldn't because I always kept my feelings for him as a secret. Then, how about my friendships? My close friend who likes him will definitely got hurt ... am I just not suitable for friendships, since I wasn't honest? If you were in my position, will you choose your crush or your close friend?
(Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.)
2024.05.21 17:47 Livid_Apartment4527 will boarding school help my situation?
I'm a 17-year-old student who's been doing some serious soul-searching lately. One of the hardest truths I've had to face is that I haven't been as emotionally stable as I'd like to be. Instead of facing my problems head-on, I've often sought comfort in the familiarity of my parents' support. But here's the thing: I've come to realize that this pattern has turned me into something I never wanted to be – a leech. Instead of seeking guidance and learning to navigate life's challenges, I've allowed my emotions to dictate my actions, often making me come across as entitled or even bratty. Don't get me wrong – I know I'm intelligent and capable of so much more. But I've let my feelings get the best of me, and it's time for a change. That's why I'm seriously considering the idea of attending boarding school. I see it as an opportunity not only to gain independence but also to work on my emotional growth in a supportive environment. Being away from the familiar comforts of home will force me to confront my emotions and learn to deal with them in a healthier way .I know it won't be easy, and there will undoubtedly be challenges along the way. But I believe that facing these challenges head-on is the only way I'll truly grow as a person. If anyone has struggled with similar issues or has experience with emotional growth and development, I would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. How did you learn to manage your emotions and become more emotionally stable? And for those who attended boarding school, how did the experience contribute to your personal growth? Cost wise i'd be doing it in my home country so boarding is not as expensive., i'm even dedicated to working all summer to pay for it. Or does this idea in general just make me sound even more dependent on my parents. I'm seriously trying to find a better solution. I really need help as i need to realize my parents are not going to be here forever. Life is short i could lose them anytime, i'm thankful and greatful for their efforts as they've provided me with everything and more, but if i don't build this backbone i'm screwed.
submitted by Livid_Apartment4527 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 17:35 FerrymanOfNight [Re-Intro] Micah Di Santis - Never challenge Death to a pillow fight!
Unless you are ready to handle the reaper cushions.
appearance
description: Micah is a fairly restrained person when it comes to clothes. Usually, he'd only grab a long-sleeved shirt and some jeans, feeling content. Most of his clothing is fairly average, what with them being of all sorts of muted colors and sorts of clothing. He isn't used to expressing himself whether it is though clothing or other methods.
equipment:
* – modmailed / custom
b) Shadow Camouflage; From a fairly young age, Micah wasn't much of a social butterfly. Most of the time, he felt most comfortable in a shadowy nook where the lines of his body would be broken by shadows, using the ability unconsciously. After his near-death experience, Micah became more aware of his ability to hide in shadows and learned to use it more effectively than before.
c) Shadow Travel\;* After an unknowably long amount of time spent in Hades, Micah's father, Charon, was aligned with the underworld to which he led the souls of the dead. Similarly, Micah has inherited the ability to travel through shadows in short or long-range teleports.
b) Death Buff\;* Being a servant of the God of the Dead, it only makes sense that Charon would draw his own power from his master. As such, Micah has inherited a trait where he becomes stronger when around children of other deities of death, such as Hades, Melinoe, Zagreus, the Oneiroi, etc.
c) Aura of the Harbinger\;* Being a multifaceted deity, Charon passed down his multifacetedness in the form of an aura ability. Micah has the ability to project an aura with two opposite effects that work on separate targets. A calming effect affects any spirits within the aura while an imposing effect like that of Children of Hades affects living beings within the aura's range.
personality
Micah is about as quiet as you'd expect from a Chthonic kid. That isn't to say that he is particularly serious or brooding, in fact, even when he's upset, he rarely does either. He mainly remains silent because he isn't particularly talented at talking. His reactions to most things tend to be a bit muted unless something is especially funny or angering. Any of the kids that liked him or trusted him in Sicily did so because they understood that when it was needed, Micah would talk as much as was needed and would do what needed to be done to keep everyone safe.
Fatal Flaw; Vengefulness
backstory
Micah's past year at camp had been simultaneously the most relaxing and confusing year of his life. There had been a unfamiliarity that Micah had with anything to do with relaxation or really anything but working that had slowly melted away. He'd made friends and discovered passions that might have otherwise gone ignored for the rest of his life (Art was definitely one of those).
So, when school started to take over his time, Micah barely gave it any thought, settling back into his old work mentality, though now focused on mental instead of physical labor. Before he knew it, it was summer, school was out, and he was back at the start, not knowing how to get himself to relax.
now
Micah stared at the ground around the Range target blankly, the celestial bronze knives scattered around it refracting light. He was jolted out of his mental haze when a camper a few rows down yelled at him for standing in front of the target for so long. Quickly finishing up gathering his throwing knives, Micah slotted them into his bandolier and left the Range.
For a while, he just walked, until he reached the pier. Boats had been a constant of Micah's life before coming to camp and when he was really out of it or off his rocker, the son of Charon liked to settle at the camp pier and imagine what sort of sea vessel he'd design for himself. Aesthetics might not have mattered to everyone but to Micah, they did. The ship would have to look as good as it sailed.
Now, he fell onto his back in the sand a few meters from the pier and stared up at the sky. Barely any clouds. Gods that was boring.
(Credit to u/FireyRage for the amazing intro format.)
submitted by FerrymanOfNight to CampHalfBloodRP [link] [comments]
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
― Mark Twain
| general information | additional information |
|---|---|
| name: Micah Di Santis | preferred name: Myka, Mike |
| d.o.b.: 10 June 20XX | age: 16 |
| nationality: Sicilian | hometown: Sicily, Italy |
| gender identity: cis-male | gender expression: male |
| sexual orientation: Undecided | preferred pronouns: he / him / his |
- Half-blood- and non-half-blood-related conundrums: ADHD (attention deficiency and hyperactivity disorder), Dyslexia
| relation | name/s | age | relationship |
|---|---|---|---|
| divine parent | Charon, The Ferryman | old | Micah still has no idea what to think about his dad. Speaking with him during the visit to Olympus did nothing to clear things up. The man, or was it immortal, was blunt and yet, his son's opinion of him was still up in the air, though leaning more to the positive side. At least Micah has the connections to get himself an admittedly fantastic tailored suit. |
| mortal parent | ??? | ??? | Micah has no idea who his biological mother is. The only reason he knew who his father was before he came to camp was because the spirits told him. |
| mortal adoptive parent | Maria Di Santis | 32 years old | If Marco was a saint then Maria was a saintess through and through. Everything she did, she did with someone else in mind. From the day she adopted Micah to the moment Marco died, Micah did not see her cry for herself at all. She'd cry when a little boy got hurt and would offer help or cry when she saw a cat get kicked by some drunk douchebag. |
| mortal adoptive parent | Vincino (Vinny) Bertelli | 37 years old | Vincino is an absurdly rich man who was born and raised in Sicily. He found Maira through her singing on the side of the road to raise money for Micah's trip to the US. He offered to take her in because he liked her and sponsored Micah's trip by giving him some money and a ticket onto a transatlantic cruise ship headed to New York City. All things considered, he's a kind and considerate man who loves Maria. |
| adoptive brother | Marco Di Santis | Marco Di Santis was a saint. Ever since he learned the word 'kindness', he was absorbed and defined by it. He loved seeing the smiles bloom on people's faces when he shared some bread or helped them with something but what he truly loved more than anything else was sailing and playing the piano. He was handsome beyond reason, having pale blonde hair and clear blue eyes, though he never had a chance to grow into it fully. | |
| dead guy | Chris | Like Marco, Chris is one big ball of sunshine. The only difference is he's a ghost. Micah met Chris on the cruise he stowed away on to get to the US and the ghost promptly joined him, though reluctantly because he was watching over his parents and little brother, due to finding him interesting. Like Marco, Chris is handsome though he had more time to grow into his looks. Framed by golden hair and chocolate brown eyes, Micah wouldn't have doubted it if the boy was very popular during his living days. | |
| friend | Willow 'Will' Crest | 16 years old | One of the more laid-back campers Micah had met, Willow became something of a friend to the son of Charon, though they started off more as discussion partners than anything else. And besides, being chill-buddies is pretty fun on its own. Who knows where things can go from there? |
| friend | Rachel 'Rocky' Williams | 17 years old | Rocky was one of the first people Micah met upon arriving at camp and her enthusiasm, uncharacteristic for a child of a chthonic god, immediately made her stand out. Though he genuinely has no idea what goes through Rocky's head, Micah considers them close, and okay, maybe he has a minuscule crush on her. |
| friend/former cabin-mate | Ramona Herrera | 16 years old | Being another camper who met Micah's criteria for friendship (i.e. Be chill and relax), Ramona is someone who Micah doesn't know too much about. Much like Kit, who Micah has seen around camp and the Hermes Cabin, she is a mystery to him. Though he does enjoy trying to spot which corner she's hiding in at any given camp gathering. |
| acquaintance (?) | Mathew Knight | 15 years old | Matt is, as far as friendship is concerned, a work-in-progress. Micah's father had recommended getting to know the son of Hades and though he'd lost himself in school shortly after, Micah had made introductions. |
| faceclaim | height | weight | hair | eyes | skin |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| FC, Art by Charlie Bowater | 5’11” | Doesn't care | Black | Amber, fiery like gold | Lightly tanned, peppered with a few more recent thin scars from his time at camp |
equipment:
- Folding Knife; The cleaver-shaped folding knife was a present from his brother and Micah has taken to using it for almost everything in his day to day. When his mother fell ill after Marco's death, Micah had to scrub the docks, cut rope to secure the boats, and even got to work on some boats during outings for extra cash. The knife became like a lifeline, being used for everything he had to do.
- Bead Necklace; Micah has been at camp for a year now.
- Monster Directory; Over the years, Micah has seen one or two monsters in their undisguised forms and has taken to keeping note of them by drawing them in as great a detail as he can remember in a separate notebook from the rest of his drawings while also making notes of tactics that worked against them.
- Sketchbook; Ever since he started drawing, Micah has had a good amount of sketchbooks, most of which he donated to orphanages in Sicily for the little kids to enjoy the drawings if they weren't destroyed by seawater or other kids. After he donated his last one with a few pages blank at the end, he got himself a new book, this one being leather-bound and practically a blank slate. He's glad to have an abundance of space to draw as his story unfolds.
- Art Supplies; A good amount of colored and uncolored pencils, all in different states of use, either dull or sharp, long or short, and an eraser in a dark brown leather box.
- Satchel; The over-the-shoulder bag Micah carries around with all of his items. It's nothing special, just an olive green bag with a good amount of compartments and space.
- Throwing Knife Bandolier; Micah's choice of weapon, the bandolier he carries is easy to hide under civilian clothes, fast to access, and easy to use. The knives are of standard make and easily replaceable with others from the armory, though Micah tends to clean and sharpen them himself after each use.
* – modmailed / custom
godrent domain powers:a) Dead Communication; Ever since his close brush with death, Micah's powers surged. His father's connection to spirits and those who have died became his and as such he can now see and communicate with the spirits of the dead. They have been his only source of information on his father. He likes to build a network of spirits whenever he goes somewhere new so he can gather information as fast as possible.
b) Shadow Camouflage; From a fairly young age, Micah wasn't much of a social butterfly. Most of the time, he felt most comfortable in a shadowy nook where the lines of his body would be broken by shadows, using the ability unconsciously. After his near-death experience, Micah became more aware of his ability to hide in shadows and learned to use it more effectively than before.
c) Shadow Travel\;* After an unknowably long amount of time spent in Hades, Micah's father, Charon, was aligned with the underworld to which he led the souls of the dead. Similarly, Micah has inherited the ability to travel through shadows in short or long-range teleports.
godrent minor powers:a) River Step\;* The connection with the River Styx flows through Micah's veins as much as it does through his father's. The ability this connection granted him was the ability to walk on water, as long as there is no significant shift to the water, such as large waves.
b) Death Buff\;* Being a servant of the God of the Dead, it only makes sense that Charon would draw his own power from his master. As such, Micah has inherited a trait where he becomes stronger when around children of other deities of death, such as Hades, Melinoe, Zagreus, the Oneiroi, etc.
c) Aura of the Harbinger\;* Being a multifaceted deity, Charon passed down his multifacetedness in the form of an aura ability. Micah has the ability to project an aura with two opposite effects that work on separate targets. A calming effect affects any spirits within the aura while an imposing effect like that of Children of Hades affects living beings within the aura's range.
godrent major powers:a) Major Watercraft Manipulation\;* Being known as the Ferryman of the Dead, it only makes sense for Charon, and Micah by extension, to have dominion over watercraft. Micah's control over watercraft was one of the first powers he discovered and the power that is most intertwined with him in his entirety. He has inherited the ability to gain absolute control over any and all watercraft down to the rigging and ropes.
skillsetOver the years, Micah has picked up a good variety of skills, including fishing and rope work. Still, there have been a great many learning experiences for the boy on the streets of Sicily. Free running came as a given to any child of below-average means in Sicily but Micah was significantly worse than most thanks to a leg injury he got at the age of thirteen. Drawing was the only real luxury he had during his time when he wasn't working. A young lady from a carnival that was passing through taught him how to use throwing knives after he helped her find her way around the city. He learned ballet by watching, sitting for hours outside a studio every day for weeks until he'd gotten good enough to practice independently, which led to his interest in gymnastics. One of the older neighborhood boys took to teaching Micah, his brother, and the other kids how to read and write in English. Micah's adoptive mother insisted on teaching him how to speak English from a young age. Now, he can speak English with a barely noticeable Sicilian accent.
personality
Micah is about as quiet as you'd expect from a Chthonic kid. That isn't to say that he is particularly serious or brooding, in fact, even when he's upset, he rarely does either. He mainly remains silent because he isn't particularly talented at talking. His reactions to most things tend to be a bit muted unless something is especially funny or angering. Any of the kids that liked him or trusted him in Sicily did so because they understood that when it was needed, Micah would talk as much as was needed and would do what needed to be done to keep everyone safe.
Fatal Flaw; Vengefulness
backstory
Micah's past year at camp had been simultaneously the most relaxing and confusing year of his life. There had been a unfamiliarity that Micah had with anything to do with relaxation or really anything but working that had slowly melted away. He'd made friends and discovered passions that might have otherwise gone ignored for the rest of his life (Art was definitely one of those).
So, when school started to take over his time, Micah barely gave it any thought, settling back into his old work mentality, though now focused on mental instead of physical labor. Before he knew it, it was summer, school was out, and he was back at the start, not knowing how to get himself to relax.
now
Micah stared at the ground around the Range target blankly, the celestial bronze knives scattered around it refracting light. He was jolted out of his mental haze when a camper a few rows down yelled at him for standing in front of the target for so long. Quickly finishing up gathering his throwing knives, Micah slotted them into his bandolier and left the Range.
For a while, he just walked, until he reached the pier. Boats had been a constant of Micah's life before coming to camp and when he was really out of it or off his rocker, the son of Charon liked to settle at the camp pier and imagine what sort of sea vessel he'd design for himself. Aesthetics might not have mattered to everyone but to Micah, they did. The ship would have to look as good as it sailed.
Now, he fell onto his back in the sand a few meters from the pier and stared up at the sky. Barely any clouds. Gods that was boring.
(Credit to u/FireyRage for the amazing intro format.)
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 | submitted by Lily_McAllister to HomeDealsCa [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 17:31 Lily_McAllister 👇 SWEET DEAL 👇 10% OFF COUPON ON SITE! Redtwo 3400 Pcs Clay Beads Bracelet Making Kit, Friendship Bracelet Kit for Jewelry Making, Flat Polymer Heishi Beads with Charms, Gifts Crafts Set for Girls Ages 6-12
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2024.05.21 17:25 airwrecka98 Is this relationship meant for me?
I could use advice about my relationship. Recently I (25F) started seeing a girl (27f). We met through a mutual ex (got cheated on by the same dude) and essentially have been best friends and unseparable since meeting almost a year ago.
I do really love her, I think she is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, one of the sweetest people I've ever met. I just don't think I'm falling IN love with her. I was crushing super hard in the beginning of our friendship but I didn't really want to pursue because the situation we came from was fresh, but about a month ago she asked me to start going on dates and stuff and I was SO excited she had feelings for me too.
My thing now is that it feels rushed, even though I was willing to rush too. She is very much a U-Haul lesbian and talking LOTS of BIG plans for our future (she also has a 5 year old son) that I don't necessarily see for myself, let alone so fast. I told her in the beginning I was also nervous about being a large part of her child's life because I've never wanted kids myself, and now that I am spending considerable amounts of time with them I am so tired all of the time. I feel like I'm forcing myself to participate when my mental battery is low, and I know neither me or her want love to feel like a chore. She also talks a lot about how she hopes our mutual ex knows about us, how she wants to vandalize his property (we both already totalled dudes car after we found out) , etc and it makes me feel like a revenge plot a little.
These are just small things I feel already poking at me in the beginning of our relationship. I don't want to repeat my own toxic patterns of letting my feelings build up until I explode. I know I need to talk to her, but I feel I'm going to upset her so much and I don't know how to phrase what I'm even feeling. In my head I'm thinking "if she's too much, go find less" and like I'm an asshole for not seemingly reciprocating the same feelings she has. I want to stay her friend and in her life, I just don't think i can meet her needs as a partner.
Also please don't hate me for how I'm speaking about my feelings, I have extremely bad untreated anxiety and depression due to losing health insurance so my brain chemicals are extra spicy and mean to me, especially about a wonderful girl actually wanting to love me and im trying to let her. I don't know if I'm picking apart something good to self sabotage, or if I'm invalidating my own feelings to not hurt someone else's.
submitted by airwrecka98 to actuallesbians [link] [comments]
I do really love her, I think she is a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, one of the sweetest people I've ever met. I just don't think I'm falling IN love with her. I was crushing super hard in the beginning of our friendship but I didn't really want to pursue because the situation we came from was fresh, but about a month ago she asked me to start going on dates and stuff and I was SO excited she had feelings for me too.
My thing now is that it feels rushed, even though I was willing to rush too. She is very much a U-Haul lesbian and talking LOTS of BIG plans for our future (she also has a 5 year old son) that I don't necessarily see for myself, let alone so fast. I told her in the beginning I was also nervous about being a large part of her child's life because I've never wanted kids myself, and now that I am spending considerable amounts of time with them I am so tired all of the time. I feel like I'm forcing myself to participate when my mental battery is low, and I know neither me or her want love to feel like a chore. She also talks a lot about how she hopes our mutual ex knows about us, how she wants to vandalize his property (we both already totalled dudes car after we found out) , etc and it makes me feel like a revenge plot a little.
These are just small things I feel already poking at me in the beginning of our relationship. I don't want to repeat my own toxic patterns of letting my feelings build up until I explode. I know I need to talk to her, but I feel I'm going to upset her so much and I don't know how to phrase what I'm even feeling. In my head I'm thinking "if she's too much, go find less" and like I'm an asshole for not seemingly reciprocating the same feelings she has. I want to stay her friend and in her life, I just don't think i can meet her needs as a partner.
Also please don't hate me for how I'm speaking about my feelings, I have extremely bad untreated anxiety and depression due to losing health insurance so my brain chemicals are extra spicy and mean to me, especially about a wonderful girl actually wanting to love me and im trying to let her. I don't know if I'm picking apart something good to self sabotage, or if I'm invalidating my own feelings to not hurt someone else's.
2024.05.21 17:23 JT_r401 Re-watched The O.C. And I hate So Many Things Now LOL
I've been watching The O.C. since I was in high school and after this long weekend I turned 36 and watched it all again and have a completely different view on the show now. I use to think that Ryan hit the jackpot with a rich family, but after re watching with a new perspective I truly think he would've been better off in Chino. I was so annoyed by Marisa, Seth and Summer during this rewatch. I just got to vent out about these characters LOL.
I'll start with Marisa cause everyone already hates her so much. She was nothing, but a spoiled brat and even admitted she used to getting what she wants. Plays the victim and drags everyone into her issues. Ryan tried to stick it out with her as a bf, but this idiot kept attaching herself to losers that don't even matter like Johnny and his crew especially that morn Chili. She always tried putting other people first ahead of her on BF and that showed from the start even with Luke. Even with Trey she kept throwing herself in his way even when Ryan asked her to stay out of stuff. She lived a stupid life and died a stupid death.
Summer was nothing, but eye candy. I mean she had her moments, but at the end of the day she was a bully to Seth and a control freak. If Seth's dream was the comic she would let him run with it instead she made it about her and her stupid love triangle with Zak. That whole comic arc just annoyed the fuck out of me. Seth is there trying to establish some kind of future with his passion and she just shuts it down. To top things off she forced Seth to accept her hippy activist bullshit dream.
Seth oh man he annoyed me the most. I felt like he was more of a burden or debt that needed to be owed by Ryan. It's like he never showed Ryan any real freedom and always wanted to tag a long just cause he had that crutch that Ryan was now living with them. He was never a mature character he was legit a man baby. Running away crying cause Ryan left in season 1 and then crying again when he didn't get into Brown. Pissed me off the most was when he just decided to tag along on Ryan new years trip to Vegas. Not one point in the 4 seasons do we see Ryan lash out at Seth or get mad other than when he pushed him in season 3. You can tel Ryan was annoyed with his bullshit, but tolerated it all cause he lived in there house and I felt Seth used that to his advantage. Just felt like Seth was this annoying debt Ryan had to pay back forever.
Ryan had better friendships with Luke though it was brief Luke seemed like he was ride or die with Ryan especially when Oliver arc happened. I wish Luke was around during the Volchuck beef cause Seth was nothing, but a little bitch that whole arc.
After re-watching this show for so many years I come to the conclusion bad shit only happened to Ryan cause he put himself in those situations and maybe not throw fist so much. The who Volchuck beef was so stupid and didnt even make sense. Ryan started the fight by throwing hands first then thinks the guy is gonna forgive and forget just cause sandy was being man of the year. Dumbest writing when it came to a beef in that show. Oliver was deadly and he didn't even have to be a fighter just a twisted fuck in the head lol.
submitted by JT_r401 to TheOC [link] [comments]
I'll start with Marisa cause everyone already hates her so much. She was nothing, but a spoiled brat and even admitted she used to getting what she wants. Plays the victim and drags everyone into her issues. Ryan tried to stick it out with her as a bf, but this idiot kept attaching herself to losers that don't even matter like Johnny and his crew especially that morn Chili. She always tried putting other people first ahead of her on BF and that showed from the start even with Luke. Even with Trey she kept throwing herself in his way even when Ryan asked her to stay out of stuff. She lived a stupid life and died a stupid death.
Summer was nothing, but eye candy. I mean she had her moments, but at the end of the day she was a bully to Seth and a control freak. If Seth's dream was the comic she would let him run with it instead she made it about her and her stupid love triangle with Zak. That whole comic arc just annoyed the fuck out of me. Seth is there trying to establish some kind of future with his passion and she just shuts it down. To top things off she forced Seth to accept her hippy activist bullshit dream.
Seth oh man he annoyed me the most. I felt like he was more of a burden or debt that needed to be owed by Ryan. It's like he never showed Ryan any real freedom and always wanted to tag a long just cause he had that crutch that Ryan was now living with them. He was never a mature character he was legit a man baby. Running away crying cause Ryan left in season 1 and then crying again when he didn't get into Brown. Pissed me off the most was when he just decided to tag along on Ryan new years trip to Vegas. Not one point in the 4 seasons do we see Ryan lash out at Seth or get mad other than when he pushed him in season 3. You can tel Ryan was annoyed with his bullshit, but tolerated it all cause he lived in there house and I felt Seth used that to his advantage. Just felt like Seth was this annoying debt Ryan had to pay back forever.
Ryan had better friendships with Luke though it was brief Luke seemed like he was ride or die with Ryan especially when Oliver arc happened. I wish Luke was around during the Volchuck beef cause Seth was nothing, but a little bitch that whole arc.
After re-watching this show for so many years I come to the conclusion bad shit only happened to Ryan cause he put himself in those situations and maybe not throw fist so much. The who Volchuck beef was so stupid and didnt even make sense. Ryan started the fight by throwing hands first then thinks the guy is gonna forgive and forget just cause sandy was being man of the year. Dumbest writing when it came to a beef in that show. Oliver was deadly and he didn't even have to be a fighter just a twisted fuck in the head lol.
2024.05.21 17:10 cyclopswashalfright The Way! from Marvel's Valentine's Day Special 1997
 | submitted by cyclopswashalfright to jott [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 17:09 mcsteamy12345 Wearing sunglasses and/or blue light glasses to minimize (hypo)mania in summer
Hi everyone! I wanted to share this with you all (for the people who didn't know this already). I wasn't aware of this but my nurse practitioner advised me to invest in some blue light filter (sun)glasses to help prevent episodes during the upcoming summer months. Please feel free to share your thoughts and/or experiences on this.
Here’s more on the relationship between light exposure, circadian rhythms, and manic episodes:
submitted by mcsteamy12345 to bipolar [link] [comments]
Here’s more on the relationship between light exposure, circadian rhythms, and manic episodes:
Circadian Rhythms and Bipolar Disorder:
- Circadian Rhythm Disruptions:
- Individuals with bipolar disorder often have disrupted circadian rhythms. Proper management of light exposure can help stabilize these rhythms, reducing the risk of mood swings.
- Light as a Trigger:
- Excessive exposure to natural or artificial light, especially blue light, can disrupt circadian rhythms and sleep patterns, potentially triggering manic episodes. By regulating light exposure, one can help maintain a more stable mood.
Combining Sunglasses and Blue Light Filters:
- Daytime Use of Sunglasses:
- Wearing sunglasses during the day, especially when outdoors, can reduce overall light exposure, minimizing overstimulation and helping to maintain more consistent circadian rhythms.
- Evening Use of Blue Light Filters:
- Using blue light filter glasses in the evening can help mitigate the impact of artificial light from screens and indoor lighting, promoting better melatonin production and improving sleep quality.
Practical Tips:
- Consistent Use:
- Consistently wearing sunglasses when outdoors in bright conditions and using blue light filters in the evening can help regulate light exposure and support mood stability.
- Sleep Hygiene:
- Maintain good sleep hygiene by going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, creating a dark, quiet sleep environment, and avoiding screens for at least an hour before bedtime.
- Monitoring Mood:
- Pay attention to how light exposure affects your mood and sleep. Adjust the use of sunglasses and blue light filters based on personal observations and any recommendations from healthcare providers.