Funny rehearsal dinner invitation wordingc

My boyfriend (22m) and I (20f) have been LC/NC with MIL since last July. I blocked her on Facebook in May after sending her a nasty message her for missing her son’s 21st birthday party. (Shallow, yes I know. I was just angry.) She had 2 months notice about the party and made excuse after excuse about why she couldn’t come, ultimately it ended up being because we didn’t want her alcoholic husband to be there and she refused to go without him. She never even sent him a birthday card.
My bfs birthday is at the beginning of May and this year MILs husband sent him a message asking what he wanted for his bday during the second week of April. My bf does not like him, wants nothing to do with him and has explained this to his mom. So the message was never read because he has his notifications blocked. I saw it about a week and half after it was sent while looking on his phone and told my bf. He was annoyed but texted MILs husband back, we didn’t hear anything for over a week and then MIL invited us up to dinner at her house but they wanted to wait until we all had a day off. We gave them our availability and she said they were waiting to get Sundays off together and that day would be best. They live about an hour away so we said sure whenever is fine after the 6th because my dad was coming to stay with us for a week. This upset MIL and she said she wanted to do it the weekend after his birthday, we said that’s fine then. It didn’t end up happening and we were gonna let her tell us when they were ready.
Now it’s 3 weeks later and my schedule just changed so I’m working Sundays. I asked my boyfriend to let his mom know and she said that she is trying to find a new job because they cut her hours at work. MIL and her husband always work at the same place and her hours always get cut…
I just need to vent because this is not how my family is, birthdays are special and to be celebrated with all of your favorites because you need to enjoy life. I wish this women would even take a second of her own time to spend with her son, even on the phone without her husband talking too. She didn’t send him a card or anything this year either. We live and hour away and she commuted to a job an hour and 15 mins away for over a year!!!! I want to believe she cares about her son but everything she’s ever done and how she treats him tells me she doesn’t.
Disclaimer: Yes I understand everyone’s family’s are different but she goes over the moon for his siblings and even grandparents birthdays. Her oldest doesn’t even get a second glance.

Hi all!
I am planning to elope with my fiancé next year. It's not a traditional elopement - we intend on bringing our parents, and I've extended the invite to my sister and her husband as well. We really want a small, no-fuss, fun, easy trip that will be a funny memory to share. The trip will be about 4 days long.
For context, we're doing a dinner party in our hometown the week before that will be the 'reception'. It is more of a traditional reception. We're expecting 150 people, renting out a restaurant and providing the food, etc. It's really for my in-laws - my fiancé has a big family that really wanted to do a celebration, so we figured why not.
I made it clear to my sister from the get go that although I wanted her to come to Vegas, there was NO pressure for her to come. The real 'party' will be the week before in any event with the whole family. I made a point of emphasizing this because I know that it's an expensive trip (just flights and hotels will be about $2k a couple), they just bought a house, and they aren't super well off. I find it tacky to ask for this much money from family, and for that reason I feel very fortunate to be able to pay for my parents' trip, but I unfortunately can't afford to extend that offer to my sister. She's aware of this. I could maybe help out with her flight costs, but wouldn't be able to pay for her husband, so I haven't even brought it up because I felt like it was an unfair offer.
Now... we were talking about this recently and she started mentioning that she was picturing bringing her baby to the elopement. She was saying it will be a shame that the baby can't fly for free (baby will be 2 by the time we go on the trip), that baby would be well behaved, we wouldn't have to worry about it, etc. I glossed over it in the moment, because honestly, I never thought that was on the table. I figured she would never want to bring a toddler to Vegas, and if she came, she would be leaving the kid at home with her husband. I was shocked that we were on different pages there, but it's on me for not having communicated appropriately.
I've been thinking it over, and I firmly do not want the toddler there. This isn't a kid-friendly trip - we'll be going out to dinners, bars, casinos, maybe even a gun range (hey, it's Vegas). I just want to get married and have a fun trip and be spontaneous. I don't want to deal with the logistics of a toddler. We'll be such a small group that I think it will really change the dynamics. When there's a toddler involved, of course you need to accommodate them - and frankly, I don't want to. I also don't want my sister paying for this trip and then sitting in her hotel room with the toddler. My sister has options here - she can leave the toddler with her husband (I don't think the husband has offered this. Or she doesn't trust him. Which is a whole other thing...), ask her in-laws to take care, or simply not come!
Rant aside - what is the best way to deliver this message to her? Am I totally missing that I'm being a jerk here? How should I best communicate that I don't want the baby there, without starting WW3??
TL;DR: my sister wants to bring her toddler to Vegas for my elopement/mini wedding. I don't want the toddler there, and want advice on whether I'm being a jerk - and if not, how best to talk to her about this.

Hello everyone,
Maybe I (23M) just have the nerves and am looking for some words of advice/encouragement with this post. I don't really have anyone who I can consult with on this in my real life so maybe that's just what I was looking for on here.
I have recently been trying to put myself out there more to be more social and have more interesting hobbies/interests. I speak Japanese, so as part of this, I joined a weekly group for Japanese speakers to practice conversation skills and meet others who also speak the language. Joining this has been a really fun experience and I've been very fortunate to make a lot of friends so far.
We have a group of about 6 or 7 of us from the club who have all become mutual friends. We have hung out outside of the club, and have attended volunteer activities and social events together.
There is a girl(24 F) from this group, who I thought was cute since I met everyone at the club. I hadn't said anything in that sense to her, but we would talk occasionally at the club. A few weeks go we learned that we both did volleyball as a hobby. After the club, I messaged her and asked for some tips on volleyball. We ended up having a pretty long discussion about it and at the end she suggested we attend a pick-up game sometime. I agreed and we continued to talk 1-on-1 in messages.
We have done a few other group things, like go to a concert with our friends and have a board game night. That was fun. We eventually ended up going to volleyball and then went out to dinner afterwards. I thought it was a really nice time. We got along well alone, and she told me she thought my interest in trains was "cute." At the end we agreed we should do this again.
A few days later I asked if she was free soon, and if she would like to go to a museum with me and get dinner again afterwards. I intentionally wanted to do something not volleyball, to see if she would still be down to go out. She said she was free this weekend and we will be going this Saturday. I've been thinking about it a lot and I really want to tell her I like her at the end of Saturday, and ask if she would be interested in making the next one of these a date.
I guess I'm just nervous for a number of reasons. I don't have any experience that wasn't through OLD, where it is abundantly clear what you are both on there for. Secondly, we are part of a larger friend group, and I really hope to not make anything weird about this if I get rejected. I fully intend to take that with grace and immediately accept it and move on, I just hope it doesn't sour anything.
But, the voice in my head is telling me I should really do it. We are part of a larger group of mutual friends, and I feel like if this was strictly platonic, she would have suggested we invite them to come along with us as well, but she hasn't at all. She always responds to me within a day of messaging her, and if she doesn't she'll apologize for the late response. She wanted to sit next to me at the concert we went to with our friends, and when she was dropping us off afterwards I told her she could just drop me with our other friend and I'd walk the rest of the way, but she insisted on driving me home. I have very little experience with IRL dating/meeting people romantically and I think I feel like I am seeing signs of interest but just also feel like I might just be overanalyzing this situation.

Hey alll! I’m mainly looking to find new gaming friends that share the same gaming interests if possible. I have all consoles and pc and i play alot of games. Ranging from retro to new!
Current games i’m playing are WWE 2k24 and Fortnite too (zero build). But i’ll olay mist anything!
I’m married and have 2 kids, a 6 month old son and a 9 year old daughter. I’m into basic nerdy things. Gaming, star wars, super heroes, DnD, etc. Also trading card games like Disney Lorcana and Star Wars Unlimited.
I watch a ton of Critical Role stuff especially Campaign 3! Currently on episode 74, so if you watch too, let me know! Also like to watch Battle of the Brands on YouTube.
I’m also into movies and tv, some sports, pro wrestling. Collecting action figures and retro games is one of hobbies as well. Anything 80s/90s nostalgia i absolutely love so if you want to talk childhood and growing up back then, i’m down! I miss the good old days where we went to arcades and italian sunday dinners at the grandparents and where the world just wasn’t as nutso as it is today lol.
My kids are everything to me and I do love talking about them. Love being silly with them and spending time with them (when they aren’t driving me crazy lol)..I would prefer you be around my age and have kids as well just so we have that stuff in common off the bat! I’m socially awkward most times but very easy to get along with. I’m definitely considered an introvert. But once you get to know me I break out of that awkward shell. I do like to use sarcasm, and mostly like to try and make people laugh because a world without laughter would just be horrible.
Alright i’ll shut up now but I’d like to think i’m an awesome person to get to know and hopefully there’s more you’d like to know so feel free to DM me! (I looove using GIFs so if you message me, open up with a funny one! Especially since then i’ll know you actually read this 😂)

We'd been dating each other for a couple months. Everything was great. It just never felt like it was "taking off." She'd go away for work and there would be some gaps in communication. I approached the topic of being exclusive once or twice and got soft "no"s from her, but we kept dating and enjoying it. (She didn't date other people, though.. I did, if that matters.) After she took a vacation to see friends and we barely talked during that two week period, I was going to end it because it felt like we weren't going anywhere. She then learned that I'd been on a few dates while we were dating and that I had sex with someone else. She was a little thrown off because she'd made an assumption, but she understood because we didn't make a commitment. She agreed that she hasn't really been emotionally available with a stressful situation that's going on.
I called her the following morning and told her I missed her. She thought it was sweet, and then invited me to hang out with her and her friends from out of town. We had a fun time; she obviously enjoyed that I'd come and said it was really nice that I came out. I asked if she'd see me on Thursday and she paused and said maybe. We did some funny back and forth texting the next day. The following day, this morning, I told her that I really like her and that I'll like to be in a relationship with her (or at least exclusive for now). She said that it was very sweet and "got choked up" (emotional) from hearing that, and she said she appreciated me taking the risk and putting myself out there, but she needs some time to digest it.
I think we're really compatible and would be happy together long-term. What do you think of her response?

Hang in there, this is a long one: I (50F) have been with my husband (57M) for almost 16 years, married for 12 years. He has 3 brothers and 1 sister. One of his brothers, we will call “Roy” has just went through a divorce with his 5th wife,”Sara” after being together 9 years. She is the third wife that I have known him to be married to since my husband (his brother ) and I have been together. He was married to the first two long before we met. Anyway, over the time we were married she and I became very close. Like actual sisters. We have a lot in common and we can tell each other anything. We are the same religion, love horror movies and the paranormal. We take trips together. Go to concerts and conventions. My relationship with her is always how I felt a “sister” relationship should be. I do have a sister but we barely talk and I may only see her once a year. Sara is the sister I chose. She feels the same way about me. Sara and Roy separated in September of last year. His treatment of her was abhorrent. I am not just saying that because we are so close. He’s a narcissist. He had to be the center of her world and yet he would call her a “Fuckin Liar” or a “fucking piece of shit” he would constantly accuse her of cheating and go through her phone trying to find evidence but never did. He even texted me from her phone once pretending to be her to see what I would say. I had a weird feeling when I received the text because Sara and I didn’t usually text about him when she with him due to his nosiness …the text said “what should I do” so I responded vaguely with something that I would say to either one of them. He then started texting me from his phone going off on me. I told him I didn’t say anything to her that I wouldn’t say to his face. It got to the point where everyone had issues being around him, especially if he was drinking. Here come the holidays. Thanksgiving my husband and I hosted the dinner. All of his siblings, their kids, and grandchildren were invited. On my side it was my mom, my kids and grandchildren. I didn’t invite Sara (although I would’ve rather her been there) due to the separation and pending divorce. I heard a couple of my husband’s nieces talking about seeing each other the next month for Christmas. At that time no one in the family had brought up hosting Christmas, so I volunteered. I set the Christmas dinner date for the family the Saturday before Christmas. Everyone that was there for Thanksgiving was invited. We use a group chat on messenger. every Christmas since I was a child, we would go to church at midnight on Christmas Eve then come home and open presents. When my older sister got married and moved out, we just started celebrating on Christmas Eve so she could have Christmas Day with her new family…the tradition never changed even when my husband and I started dating. I would have my kids Christmas Eve, they would go with their dad Christmas Day. A few years ago, my husband’s sister “Karen” lost her husband to cancer a few weeks before Christmas so we started inviting her to our Christmas Eve celebrations so she wouldn’t be alone. I told my husband since we are inviting Karen we should also invite Roy and Sara. We did that for a few years. Now the blow up….. Since my husband and I planned the extended family Christmas the weekend before Christmas, I told him I would like to invite Sara Christmas Eve so she, my mom and I could go to the Christmas Eve service after dinner. My husband was ok with this. He likes Sara too. I also invited Karen as we have been the past few years. My husband called Karen a few days later and she just blew up on him saying it was bullshit that we were inviting Sara and not Roy….he said Roy was invited to the extended family Christmas with everyone else. She said Christmas is for family and it’s just wrong that Sara and I were still hanging out. Roy didn’t like it either. In fact he still doesn’t. I brought up to Karen that me still hanging with Sara is no different than her being BFF’s with Roy’s first wife and she said she had nothing to do with this and she didn’t want her brother being alone on the holidays (he has four grown daughters he could spend the holidays with) so she decided to host Christmas Eve dinner also…at the same time as ours. My husband and I decided the drama was too much so we canceled the extended family Christmas dinner (not very many RSVP’d anyway). Karen and a few of Roy’s daughters even got upset with my stepson for not attending their Christmas Eve dinner. Basically wanting him to choose between his own dad and them. My husband and Roy still talk and hang out but he has not seen or spoken to Karen since then. My husband expects an apology from her before he will speak to her and she is too stubborn to do so. His sister and brother still talk about me behind my back about how they can’t believe I still hang out with and in fact if they see her in public they will not speak to her. She and I still hang out and have a trip planned together in a couple months. So, AITHA for being 50 years old and choosing to spend my time with a woman who is like a sister to me and a really good person even though she divorced my husband’s brother?

I (25F) am the oldest child of my family. My mom (45F) and step dad (41M) have another child together (11F). Growing up I was the only child, only grandchild and only niece of the family. I won’t deny that I was spoiled but that was mainly from my grandparents. My mom was a single mom up until I was 13 when she married my step dad. Unfortunately, because of that I was raised primarily by my grandparents. I have nothing negative to say about them. They have been there for every milestone in my life and raised me to be a successful person. My mother, on the other hand, is the opposite. She’s absent for majority of my milestones due to work or some event with my sister. This is all just for some background to the actual situation.
For my birthday this year I wanted a small and quiet dinner with my family. I had made reservations for a restaurant at 5pm. My bf (23m) and my best friend (25f) were also in attendance along with my family. Initially, because of my strained relationship with my parents, I was just going to have dinner with my grandparents but my grandma suggested inviting them as a way to maintain a civil relationship. She went ahead and called them and told them the time and date of the dinner. Initially they said to push it back because my sister had a sport practice that night so I rescheduled for 6pm. The night of the dinner I show up at 6 along with my bf, grandparents and best friend. We ordered drinks and appetizers and waited for my parents and sister to come. When they finally got there it was 40 minutes after the initial reservation. I kept my mouth closed and didn’t say anything in order to maintain peace. Since it was my birthday my grandparents and best friend had brought their gifts for me to dinner. Personally, I’m a sentimental person and enjoy cards with personalized notes and don’t really ask for any presents. My family is aware of my preference and always bring up how they never know what to get me usually in a joking matter. When my step dad and mom asked what I wanted for my birthday at the table I told them I had been looking at a vacuum online if that’s something they’d like to get me as a practical gift. My step dad then reached into his wallet and threw money at me across the table and told me to buy it with that. The table was silent after and I just said thanks and the evening continued on as nothing happened. This was about 4 weeks ago and have yet to speak to my mother or step father about what happened. There’s an event coming up for my sister soon and my grandparents asked me to attend and show her support. I love my sister but I want by no means to see my mother or step father. My grandparents are aware of this and are asking me to let things go and maintain the peace. Wibta if I held my grudge and refused to associate with my parents?
To add some additional context, my grandparents paid for the dinner for everyone that evening. I also received a text from both of them for my birthday but that was the only contact I had with them on the day of.

[We do not have an RSS feed set up for the waterfont cafe. Please excuse the lack of formatting from the copy pasta. Thanks. -The Mods]
​
📷

Welcome (back) to the Waterfront!

In preparation for our official opening day on Friday, May 24th, we are hosting a “soft opening” this Wednesday, May 22nd & Thursday, May 23rd from noon to 9pm each day. Please be one of the first to join us this season and receive 20% off all food & beverages*. No coupon required.

\excluding bottles of wine*
📷

More Great News! We are thrilled to announce that ALL the exceptional members of our staff from last season will be back this summer to delight you with our popular offerings, including our spicy Jerk Chicken Nachos, flavorful Brown Buttered Crab Rolls & Lobster Rolls, along with other classic menu offerings.

So, expect to be welcomed by the beautiful smiles of Chris, David, Frank, Gabe, Ivan, Jeffrey, Lars, Liam, Luis, Michael, NIcole, Noel, Peyton, Ryan, Toby & Veronica. We look forward to seeing you too!

Treat someone special with a Waterfront GIFT CARD

Music Residencies: The Waterfront Café presents complimentary music by local musicians who create a relaxing and inviting environment for our dining guests while not being too distracting from engaging dinner conversations, as well as respecting the open-aired environment of Berger Park and our Edgewater neighbors. Performances begin July 3rd and run through Labor Day. Live music will take place on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Sunday evenings from 7pm to 9pm. See specific the residency line up by clicking the link below.

LIVE MUSIC @ The Waterfront

Other events @ Berger Park Cultural Center: The Waterfront Café is partnering with Jackalope Theatre Company as they present the world premiere of The Singularity Play, playing at the adjacent Coach House Theater. This performance runs May 19th through June 22nd.

Theater patrons, who show proof of ticket purchase, can receive a 20% discount on food & beverage* when they dine with us before the show**

\excluding bottles of wine* \*offer valid on show date only, applies up to two hours before curtain & proff must be presented before ordering inside at our counter.*
Purchase tickets to Jackalope Theatre Company 📷

Can y’all give me rly rly one in a million unique manhwa/ga/hua bls? Like I’m talking abt smth that u wouldn’t come by that often. There’s a lot of office bls, but some r just one in a million, plot wise. Pls give me some real gems! Like Murderer Llewellyn’s Enchanting Dinner Invitation, The Beast Must Die, Aporia… When it comes to the genre, idm what it is, but if it’s like hellaaaaaaa toxic, then let me know pls.
🫶🫶🫶

I've (30) been dating this girl (34) for a couple of weeks, and we've met three times. We always had a good time—nothing extraordinary—but we did kiss each time. On our last date, we were both drunk, were making out like crazy, but at the end I felt this strange energy from her side that she wasn't into it anymore. Again, we were both very drunk.
From the beginning, she was a dry texter, but she would occasionally initiate conversations. After our last date, I invited her to dinner, but she said she was out of town (which she really was) and told me when she'd be back. I said it was no problem and suggested we go on Tuesday. On Monday evening, I asked if she was still up for dinner (I needed to make a reservation), and she replied, "Sorry, can't do tomorrow, but I will probably be free on the weekend."
I was getting frustrated with her dry texting and just replied with, "Okay." Neither of us initiated any further conversation, and the weekend passed without any communication.
Today marks seven days since the last text, and I'm wondering if I should try to initiate the conversation again or just let it go.

I (14m) have a mom (43f) who constantly feels like she can't trust me. She's strict and demands to know my phone's password. She is also nosy at times, one time she asked for my phone to Google something, and after a short while, I caught her going through my WhatsApp conversations! I changed my password because I felt it was a violation of my privacy. After all, she told me she was using it to google something. When she found out I changed my password her exact words were: “If you don't want a phone just say that”. I have shown her on multiple occasions that I'm trustworthy, and she has shown me that she doesn't trust me. I might sound like someone who has something to hide and you are right, I have private conversations with people who tell me about their problems and secrets, if she were to see that it would be a violation of that person's privacy as they told me that information in confidence. I'm a huge believer that privacy is a thing but shouldn't be taken for granted.
She also thinks I'm addicted to my phone as I'm always on it, this has led to her taking my phone on multiple occasions. Sometimes for the day or the week. I've expressed that I didn't appreciate the fact that she doesn't trust me and she just brushes it off and gaslights me about how I'm always on my phone and in front of the TV all the time (I'm an only child so I'm on my phone/ TV for entertainment/socializing since I have no one to talk to). Nevertheless, I'm always painted as a “gadget addict”, sometimes it would get so bad that she would start commenting on how my phone controls my every move, and that I shouldn’t have a relationship with my phone. This to me is funny because she is FOREVER on her phone. If it’s not for work then it’s for talking to friends/family if it’s not that then it’s going on Instagram (which she uses the most by the way), if it’s not that then it’s her playing Candy Crush nonstop. I do admit that I can get distracted because of my phone, but I have tried to do better and exercise discipline.
So today I came home from school tired and went to my room to change. I remember getting home at about 14:00. I’m on my phone just talking and playing games (I know this sounds bad), then my mom asks me what I’m still doing and I say I’m changing (which I was), she tells me I’ve been in there for an hour, but I check the time and it’s only 14:21. I didn’t want to say anything because I know how stubborn she can be. I quickly changed and she asked when I was going to study (it's exam season), I told her I was going to chill for a bit and then study and she was okay with that. After I study for 2 hours and take a break. I took the time to eat dinner, watch some wedding drama videos, and relax. I was supposed to study at 19:00 but I lost track of time because the wedding tea was too good. She walks in and asks me what I’m doing because I’m supposed to be studying. I’m shocked but then I look at the time and see that it’s 19:34! I’m loss for words because I had lost track of time, she proceeded to ask for my phone, I tried to fight it but I caved and gave it to her. She then told me that she was going to give it back after my exams (which are four weeks long!!). I felt that it was a lot because I made a simple mistake. She said that my phone disturbs me, I asked how and she referenced what happened when I came back from school. I tried to get my phone back by countering the fact that it was a mistake and I just lost track of time. She then told me that I didn’t see the fact that my phone disturbs me, I then asked how and she referenced what happened earlier WORD FOR WORD. That’s when I knew that she didn’t have anything else to back her story with, but she’s my parent so I had to submit. One hour later I came out of my room telling her that I’d studied and that I would like my phone back please, she told me that my DAD(43) had it, saying he would give it to me when the time was right because my phone disturbs me. Knowing him I’ll get it when my exams are over, I pleaded with my mother to at least charge on my bedside table at night when she was going to sleep, she said she would but I’m skeptical because 1. I don’t know if I should trust her and 2. My dad might not let her. In her defense, I should’ve been more attentive and just studied like I said, but I feel it was a common mistake to lose track of time. (By the way, I LOVE your videos, huge fan💕)
So was I wrong or does my mom have a point? I just wanted to vent because this is so frustrating.

I'm afraid of my dad forbidding me from seeing my brother. I know I was right but the last thing I want to do is argue with him. After my wfe and I [37 m] got engaged my dad and his wife offered to pay for the wedding. We thought this was a really generous thing to offer but my dad insisted. He said there were no strings attached but he was lying. After we started planning he told me I wasn't allowed to invite my mum's husband (who she met 3 years and married 6 months ago) or allow mum to have any kind of role in the wedding. He didn't even want her sitting in the front rows with the rest of my family. He wanted her seated near the back.
My parents got a divorce 7 years ago. My dad left my mum for someone else. They married as soon as the divorce came through and they could legally marry. I admit I was angry at him for a long time. I admit it feels strange to have a stepmother who is younger than I am, and to have a brother who is younger than my own kids. But for the sake of my brother and for not wanting to have any regrets later on I have tried to rebuild the relationship with my dad.
It was a bridge too far me to try and ban my mum's husband (who my dad has never met) and say mum couldn't have any part in the wedding or sit in the front like the rest of the family. Her husband is decent and we get along. My dad wouldn't budge so we gave him back the money. We decided to get married at the registry office and have dinner at a nice restaurant afterwards. We were not having a large wedding before because my dad is not well off financially at all, but for this we only invited my wife's parents, my mum and her husband, my dad and his wife and my younger brother, my wife's 2 sisters and their husbands and both of my kids. 13 people total. We hired a photographer to take some photos at the registry office and obviously paid for everyone's dinner. I wasn't going to invite my dad, his wife and my brother at all but my mum counselled me to be the better person and not let this overshadow my wedding. My dad, his wife and my brother did not come to the wedding because mum's husband was invited.
The wedding was last week. I tried not to think about my dad being angry with me. He still is though. He says I chose my mum and her husband over him and his wife. My wife has suggested I see a counselor to deal with my feelings about my dad. But I'm afraid if I have less contact or no contact with my dad I won't be able to see my brother. I wouldn't put it past dad to forbid me from seeing him.

Hi Ya'll,
I recently graduated OCS and I have been bombarded myself in real life over what to expect with OCS. For context I went from basic training straight to OCS, and even graduated with honors. From the time of writing this post, it has officially been a month since I graduated. So here is a list of common questions I get and I hope I can settle some anxiety for all of you future 2nd LTs.
Warning: The cadre at OCS do read these reddit posts, so I won't be able to post answers to tests or events.

1. I haven't received a welcome letter, or a packing list. Where can I find it?
   • Fort Moore Officer Candidate School (army.mil) I would download and print the packing list and the ISAP. The ISAP acts more or less like a syllabus from college. It will give a rough understanding of the rules, regulations, and requirements for you to pass.
2. Is everything on the packing list required?
   • Yes. Try your best to follow the packing list to the letter. It is almost entirely dependent on the cadre and of course weather does play a part in their decision making. Some things you'll find you didn't really need or use throughout your cycle. For example, my cycle didn't use 550 Cord almost at all, but I used it to build a hooch, and secure sensitive items.
3. What if I don't have of the required equipment on the packing list?
   • When it comes to military equipment, try your best and bring what you can. I was never issued an IFAK before OCS or after. The cadre understand they have some coming from basic and those in-service. So if you have it, bring it. If not, bring it up to your cadre and they'll schedule time to get it issued to you.
4. Anything not on the packing list you recommend?
   • I would recommend the following: hand soap, bathroom spray, travel vacuum, wet-wipes, clipboard with compartment, pillow, very bright headlamp, multitool, and laminator. Hand soap because for some reason OCS had a hard time procuring it. Travel vacuum because you'll likely have 2 or 3 vacuums available to your platoon and having your own saves time. Wet-wipes to dust everything down. Clipboard with compartment for Land Nav as you'll be running with maps, marker, protractor, and your points so its best to have something safe and secure. Laminator for your papers because its Georgia and your papers can get wet. The pillows at OCS have this weird plastic cover on so if you want a better night sleep, get a better pillow. The headlamp is just in case, some classes inform the lumen limit while others don't, Land Nav is DARK so if you can find a lighthouse out there, do it. The multitool is just useful to have especially if you are out in the field.
5. Where can I find somethings on the packing list I am missing?
   • Luckily there is a company called Commandos who helped us out the entire time. They have an OCS purchasing list you can take advantage of. They even deliver that weekend at the footprint.
   • Visit: https://commando-military-supply-9d5038.printavo.com/merch/ocs-packing-list/
6. I saw you can bring your laptops? Is it required for classes? Can I opted in for a tablet or iPad?
   • You can bring a personal laptop primarily for recreational use after the duty hours. OCS will provide you with a government laptop that you'll need to use your CAC to access. Tablets and iPads are not considered laptops and will be confiscated like a phone. If the majority of your class as issues with the laptops, then the cadre may allow the use of your personal laptops.
7. What is your day-to-day look like?
   • Mostly on a non-physical or FTX event coming up you'll follow the following schedule: 0500 - wake up. First formation is at 0600, then you conduct PT until breakfast. After breakfast you will head to the classroom and stay there until lunch, return and stay there until dinner. After dinner, it will be the end of the duty hours and you'll roughly have 2 hours for personal time.
8. What are the most important categories/test to focus on?
   • Treat everything important. Every test you do not pass can put you at risk of being recycled, and it is up to you to catch up. For example while everyone is studying for tactics, you'll be studying tactics and history if you failed history. So save yourself the hassle and take every test seriously. The big 3 recycle event have been historically, Army History (70% to pass), Land Nav (4 points or more to pass (day and night)), and the 4-mile run (need to run in under 36 minutes regardless of gender).
9. How many retests or chances do you get?
   • You get 2 tries at everything before recycle. You get 2 tries again at the same test then you can be dismissed. For example: You are part of Alpha company. You failed history twice. You get recycled into Bravo company. You failed history twice again. You can be dismissed.
   • If you happen to pass history but fail Land Nav twice, then you'll be recycled into Charlie. If you fail Land Nav twice then you can be dismissed.
10. What is a recycle? What does it look like in OCS? Can you get dismissed?
    • A recycle is when you failed something twice and you get "recycled" into the next class. A recycle can occur for other reasons such as illness or injury. You can also be recycled for improper behavior or being "peered out". Every class starts up in a like a month (I heard they are changing that for even further out). So even though the cycle takes about 12 weeks to complete, if you get recycled you can expect more like 16 weeks or more. We had someone at OCS you has been with it for a year. You get recycled for repeat offenses, or do something majorly bad such as breaking the law, then you can be dismissed.
11. What is being peered out mean?
    • Throughout the cycle you are put into a platoon and then a squad. Your squadmates eventually all sit down and fill out a form to give the cadre who is the weakest link in the squad. Usually squads kick out the person they do not like. We had to kick out one person because they didn't mesh well within the squad and wasn't very kind. He would then get replaced with someone else who got peered out. Luckily after that one person got kicked out, the squad improved and we tried our hardest to keep it together. We still needed to peer someone out, but we kept tabs with them and invited them to a lot of our squad functions nonetheless as my squads grew to love and respect each other as a family.
    • If you do get peered out, unfortunately you get a spot report, moved to a different squad, and are at risk of being recycled if peered out again. Stay humble and help out whenever you can. I got the most respect from my squadmates as I stayed up late with them to help them with their STX lanes.
12. What is personal time like?
    • You essentially use personal time to workout if the PT wasn't enough, clean yourself, and prepare for bed. Yes if you have time, you can contact family and friends (when you get your phones), and if you have the time, play games. I don't recommend playing games as it distracts you from the mission of graduating.
13. What are the different phases like?
    • You are separated into 3 phases. Black, Blue, and White. You immediately enter black phase upon arrival with a traditional called "Gold to Black". Which is more or less a physical smoking session. During Black you are expected to run everywhere, not be able to drink coffee, have your phone confiscated (and given back on Sunday), and have less personnel time. Blue you get the ability to drink coffee again, and you have your phones returned and used only during personal time. During blue you get the ability to visit and explore the base (Fort Moore) and shop around. During white phase you get the ability to explore off-base (Columbus) and you get to wear civilian clothes. White phase if you leave off-post, you need to be in uniform, and on-base you can be in civilians.
14. Can you use your personal vehicle?
    • Yes, but you can only drive it during White Phase
15. How can I keep in contact with my family during black phase?
    • I recommend that you download WhatsApp or some other social media on your laptop and have your family members on it.
16. Can I visit the gym on base?
    • Yes during blue phase you can visit the gym. Rule regulates that you leave the footprint in uniform and change into appropriate PT uniform once at the gym and conducting PT.
17. What is the DFAC like?
    • The DFAC is better than basic training and offers snacks like cookies, granola bars, ice cream, and soda. They have a salad bar and the usual cycle of foods. They do have a "short-order" line which serves fries, burgers, hot dogs, etc. To stay in physical shape, I recommend eating your fruits and a side salad every meal. Drink juice, Gatorade, or water only. I only drank soda and the burger after an intense physical requirement like a long-run or a ruck march to regain my glucose and caloric levels.
18. Does Amazon deliver there?
    • Yes you can have other things delivered to the footprint. However, the Cadre are going to inspect it for food and other contraband. Just ask the cadre for the delivery address. It may take like 2 weeks for them to deliver it.
19. Any final advice?
    • Be helpful and noticeable amongst your squad but try not to bring attention to yourself from the cadre. Take everything seriously and give yourself proper rest and proper nutrition. OCS is not hard, but it can be if you let it get to you. OCS is designed to test your competency, commitment, and character. I luckily had an amazing squad, and I had a blast with them.

I want this to be an open forum so don't be afraid to leave anymore questions below. If the answer you are seeking is not above, then write the question in the comments, and I will try my best to answer you before you are sent off. Best of luck, thank you for your service, and be the best leaders your soldier's deserve.

I’m usually against ghosting and I’m always upfront if I’m not feeling it with someone but this date was just awful. He made me uncomfortable the whole night and kept disrespecting my boundaries when I said I didn’t want to hold hands (kept trying throughout the night and got irritated when I kept shooting him down). Had bad table manners like burping and lifting up his shirt and rubbing his stomach at dinner. Bad hygiene. Tried messing with me while I was driving us to a bar nearby. Kept saying vulgar things. Tried inviting me back to his place and got a bit annoyed when I said no. He kept assuming I liked him throughout the night but I was trying my best to be nice.
I really never want to talk to this guy again. His whole attitude gave me the ick and I just want to block him on everything and never speak to him again.
I’d love to get some thoughts/insight on what to do? Maybe even what to say if I should write him. He just has a very aggressive and uncomfortable demeanor and I don’t like that

I don't know how many other women have experienced this, but my mother seems to think that if a man asks for your attention or to touch you nicely, you were obligated to give in. Even if you have a partner or simply don't want to. This goes doubly if the man is not conventionally attractive because he just wants to talk to a pretty girl.
Years ago I was at a wedding with my family, but my boyfriend wasn't invited. A guy came up and asked me to dance and I declined. My mother threw a hissy fit and started to make a scene to force me to dance with this man. I danced one dance and tried to get away, but he grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go and grabbed my body again. After the next dance I forcefully remove myself and ran back to the table and reported back what he had done. He had the nerve to come back a little while later and ask again, which I strongly declined while my mother glared at me and hissed that I was being a bitch.
The funny thing is my mother also likes to say I'm naive and going to get murdered for it and that I can't even walk places in broad daylight by myself. But I'm also supposed to serve men just because they ask nicely?

I just turned 29. Never had friends, only acquaintances throughout my whole life. Every single friend I’ve ever had ends up drifting apart or on bad terms. I always initiate hang outs when I can like dinner or going out but then nothing ever escalates after that. I am very shy and introverted when I get to know someone but after a few encounters I can have full on conversations with them and really be my goofy self.
I always think I am the problem because to me, I am a very boring person and I like to do boring things like brunch, day trip to a nice place, or just go to farmer’s market/shopping. It takes me a while to get comfortable with people which I think turns people off because they are very extroverted. I get super sad because I really want a big group of girl friends. I was in a trio and it ended really bad. The friend always make fun or have something negative to say about me. Like “Oh you would never stand up for me if I was to get into a fight” or “Why would you spend that much money on stuff like that?”.
I try to invite people out but they’re always busy or already have things to do. When they make plans, I always get left behind or never came across their minds to be invited out. I used to not be able to carry on a conversation but I’m starting to try to engage in conversations and start saying hi to people I’ve only met once if I see them again. I say jokes to lighten the mood but no one laughs 💔 I ask them about things I previously heard them talking about and they always give me a look like how do you know I did that or was into that stuff. What am I doing wrong?

Hi so I’m not sure where to start I am 18 and in my last year of Highschool. I have been talking to a guy, let’s call him Thomas also 18, since last August. We started texting every day, hours at a time, I personally thought that we got very close since we shared quite a lot of personal stuff from family dynamics to our deepest thoughts. Because a big part of this time was during our prelim and exam phase we didn’t see each other in person. In the start of November he suddenly stopped texting and I didn’t hear anything from him anymore. I was actually really worried that something happens since he was on a farm during that time. Turns out he just ignored me that stung. I am a person that does everything very head on so I absolutely confronted him end of November after exams and right before the holidays. He looked and me like he wasn’t sure what to say and answered with I’m so sorry my mama didn’t raise me like this I’m so sorry but it’s some personal reasons. Personally I thought that that’s a stupid response but fair enough. During the holidays I visited a friend overseas. We had fun going to parties having fun with guys, some of her friends, spend doing fun stuff like skiing and spending time together she really helped me get over Thomas. So fast forward to march. A friend invited me to her birthday and we somehow got on the topic of crushes/ boyfriends. We are 6 girls and since we all are in about the same classes we knew each other quite well. Let’s cal one of the girls Mary, Mary was right before the birthday party on a date with a friend of mine let’s call him Matt. Matt just joined us during this school year and I kinda included in my friend group( 4 guys plus me) and since he was a nerd and most of my friends where it fit amazing. I talked a lot with Matt and we got close but just as friends. So Mary tells the whole table that she knows who my crush is. I thought she is talking about Thomas and was like was I that obvious. She responded with is it Matt. I answer with a hell no. She is taken aback and no everyone is looking at me like who is it. Since I still have a crush on Thomas even after last year I say well it’s Thomas. Immediately everyone is like aww you would be such a sweet couple and are you talking. I share the general details as in this post and with that I thought it was done. Nope. Mary’s best friend Theresa even pushed me to start talking to him again as well as Mary throughout the whole evening. This was on a Friday, that same weekend I get absolutely drunk and drunk call Thomas. He picks up “hi are you ok I’m at a family dinner is everything ok or can I call you back later” me even surprised that he picked up explained him that I was drunk and that I’m so sorry. He’s absolutely fine with it and since then we have been texting every day and again for hours. So during the time from march till now every time i got close to Matt ( just as friend) Mary has been asking me how things with Thomas are if I’ve been texting with him telling me that I should just go with him for coffee, you get the point. Fast forward to yesterday. Another friend at that parity let’s call her Daphne came to me and asked me what i knew about Theresa. I was like “ nothing why” turns out that Theresa has been texting Thomas since start of January, meanwhile telling me to be brave and put myself out there. Daphne told me because she was close friends with Theresa till on Monday when Daphne texted Thomas( as friends) and Theresa saw the name and took the phone out of her hands. Apparently there was a whole argument between them and Daphne realised what had happened and what Theresa did. Daphne when to me and spilled the beans. There is a little bit more drama involving Thomas Theresa me and another girl regarding prom but that is less important. I’m sorry it got so long. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’m in a game of cat and mouse, and I’m the mouse. I was completely shocked when I found out and can’t honestly wrap my head around. I hope someone has advice for me who I should confront or what I should do in general.

The main events take place in the summer of 2023, but before that there’s some pretty crucial information you need to know.
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.

Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?

Gut Instincts & Intuition vs Anxiety/ROCD
A lot of us spend time wondering whether its our OCD or gut talking to us. Sometimes we can feel our anxiety in our gut- literally. But this doesn’t mean it’s our “gut instinct”
I wanted to offer a perspective that I’ve gained during my healing journey.
First- intuition requires mental clarity. The opposite of clarity is anxiety or OCD. You have no access to your intuition in the midst of ocd/anxiety.
Anyway, I saw this video of Maddison Beer. She was talking about how she used her intuition to realize her ex was not the one. I found it hilarious when she said that (no hate.) it was funny because before saying it was her intuition that “guided” her- she was going through list of red flags she had noticed. He was awful to her, would only see her at night, etc. I’m so sorry but Maddison did not have a premonition. She had common sense. It was CLEAR as DAY. That this man was no good.
My point here is the word intuition is overused now. People don’t even know what they’re talking about when they use it. Be mindful of when you think of what the word refers to, for yourself and when others use it.
Here is a better example of gut feeling.
If there was a tiger walking by you, your gut instinct would tell you “$hit thats a tiger, run!”
Your ROCD/anxiety is more like - “ I think I saw a tiger out of the corner of my eye? I’m not sure. Maybe that was a tiger. Maybe I should run I’m not sure if there was actually a tiger.”
It’s an instinct or an intuition you will KNOW that there is a tiger. You’re not spending time worrying if the tiger is a nice tiger, or if the tiger was really there, or if the tiger saw you…
I really really hope this makes sense.
Also I make posts like this all the time and invite you too as well, I usually leave them on MindfulRelationships. Feel free to join.

A lot of us spend time wondering whether its our OCD or gut talking to us. Sometimes we can feel our anxiety in our gut- literally. But this doesn’t mean it’s our “gut instinct”
I wanted to offer a perspective that I’ve gained during my healing journey.
First- intuition requires mental clarity. The opposite of clarity is anxiety or OCD. You have no access to your intuition in the midst of ocd/anxiety.
Anyway, I saw this video of Maddison Beer. She was talking about how she used her intuition to realize her ex was not the one. I found it hilarious when she said that (no hate.) it was funny because before saying it was her intuition that “guided” her- she was going through list of red flags she had noticed. He was awful to her, would only see her at night, etc. I’m so sorry but Maddison did not have a premonition. She had common sense. It was CLEAR as DAY. That this man was no good.
My point here is the word intuition is overused now. People don’t even know what they’re talking about when they use it. Be mindful of when you think of what the word refers to, for yourself and when others use it.
Here is a better example of gut feeling.
If there was a tiger walking by you, your gut instinct would tell you “$hit thats a tiger, run!”
Your ROCD/anxiety is more like - “ I think I saw a tiger out of the corner of my eye? I’m not sure. Maybe that was a tiger. Maybe I should run I’m not sure if there was actually a tiger.”
It’s an instinct or an intuition you will KNOW that there is a tiger. You’re not spending time worrying if the tiger is a nice tiger, or if the tiger was really there, or if the tiger saw you…
I really really hope this makes sense.
Also I make posts like this all the time and invite you too as well, I usually leave them on MindfulRelationships. Feel free to join.