Hello! I'm a 27M from South-East US, I am looking to meet cool people, hopefully make a great friend or two. Someone to text throughout the day, maybe play games or watch movies/shows, I am down for whatever!
I am nerdy, an ambivert, I love to play PC games, anything from rpgs/mmos to cozy crafters to survival or fps. I also enjoy game development, art, music, movies, cartoons (adventure time is my favorite!) and shows. I also love to get outside, go workout, enjoy a nice hike in nature, sports or just exploring around town.
I love music and finding new music, some of my favorite genres are indie, alt, rock, pop, punk, pop punk, rap, hip-hop, electro swing and more.
I take pride in my weird goofiness, I'm alt, 420 friendly. I love life and making new experiences. I am extremely open-minded, ambitious, optimistic, non-judgmental, caring, kind and love deep conversations.
My humor goes from stupid animal memes to dark humor to dumb brain-rot, I am always down to share memes.
Looks-wise I am 6ft, light brown medium length hair, facial hair, nose piercing, hazel eyes, husky/thick/dadbod body type (but workout frequently) and I want to get a tattoo at some point.
I am down to swap selfies at any point but if you're only interested in platonic friendship then it doesn't matter to me!
If you made it to the end hopefully you found something interesting, shoot me a dm, tell me a bit about yourself. P.S. I will send you a picture of my cat! (or my isopods 😳)

This is my second post, as I put a lot of effort into my letters and didn’t get much in return :(
So I hope I can reach someone who wants to be serious penpals. Who also puts a bit effort into his/hetheir lettes and can keep it consistent.
———————————————
Hey you! :))
The idea of having one or more penpals all over the world is just fascinating to me. 🫶🏼
The world is so big and there are so many different cultures, languages, landscapes and lifestyles. As I‘m a very curious person, I would like to learn more about your life in your country. 🫵🏼
About me and my interests: - M18, almost 19 - Curious, creative, ambitious, communicative, extroverted and energetic - I love photography & videography, design, nature, traveling, music and reading books
🎶 » I am very open minded to different styles of music. I listen to House, Techno, Pop, Rock, Electronic Music, Rap, Trance, Jazz or even the 80s!
🗣️ » I can speak Swiss-German, German, fluent English and basic French. I was 3 weeks in Vancouver 🇨🇦 last summer at an english speaking school and also learnt something about Japan, China, Korea, Thailand and so on… And I fell in love with Canada 😫
🐱 » I love animals and got two cats myself, so you may get a picture of them from time to time.
⛰️ » Switzerland is a very mountainous country with cute cities and beautiful landscapes. I would love to share some impressions with you!
I would like to write classic handwritten letters, exchange photos from our countries, add little things to the letters and get to know you & your daily life.
I am open to inquiries from all over the world 🌍 Preferably with a short description of yourself :)
Greetings from Switzerland 🇨🇭❤️

I AM NOT OOP. OOP IS u/Charming_Age_6928
Originally posted on amiwrong and AmIOverreacting
Content warning: discussion of eating disorders, body dysmorphia
3 posts - Medium-long
Original post - May 12th, 2024
Second post - June 4th, 2024
Third post - June 9th, 2024
My ‘24M’ girlfriend ‘23F’ is about to break up with me because i can’t finish during sex
my girlfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years. i’ve never had issues cumming, in fact, i would always finish too fast. but about 3 months ago, i’ve been having issues finishing.
at first it would just take me a little longer to finish but now i can’t finish at all. i don’t know what changed, im still very attracted to her and i love her with all my heart. i can tell its taking a toll on her and she feels like she’s doing something wrong. it’s actually effecting our relationship because she thinks im hiding something from her.
she thinks i either: am not attracted to her, i masturbate too much, i watch porn, she’s not good in bed, im cheating on her, or i think she’s “loose”. all of those things are obviously not true but it’s like she doesn’t believe me. it sometimes puts a lot of pressure on me because i can’t 100% relax if all i think about is to cum for my girlfriend. and honestly i don’t really care if i finish or not, all i want is to make her feel good. and i try to tell her that but she says she doesnt understand what changed with me.
she says it doesn’t make sense that i can’t cum at all anymore. and honestly i don’t know too. now she barely wants to have sex because she says that it just makes her feel like i’m using her body to masturbate and that i’m just like every other man. when she told me this, it genuinely hurt because it couldn’t be further from the truth and i can’t believe that after all this time together she thinks i could do something like this. i don’t know what to do, everytime i try to talk about it, she shuts me down because she thinks im lying to her.
we ended up having a real fight about this the other day and she ended up crying saying that i don’t think she’s pretty and she stormed out. we’re perfect in every other aspect and i don’t want to throw away 3 years for this. i can understand how she feels from her perspective that’s why im asking how can i make her believe that i truly don’t know what’s going on with me? has any other man dealt with something like this?
Relevant Comments
BuffaloAgreeable372
Any major change to any bodily function should be seen by a doctor.
Delaying while wondering what’s happening is not going to fix it.
OOP confirms they are not on any medications
Standard_Hawk_1660
I would do a few things if I was in your situation

1. Cut out porn and jerking off.
   
2. Go and see your doctor.
   
3. Go to therapy with your gf
   
4. Are you on any new medication
   
5. Talk to your GF set up a dinner and have a serious discussion. Tell her your true feelings you need to open up to her and make her feel completely loved and she needs to do the same right now for each other. You are both feeling inadequate in the bedroom and you need to support each other be vulnerable
   
6. You need to get out of your head and start to enjoy it again.
   

1. i don’t watch porn & i jerk off once maybe twice a week (which i don’t think is too much?)
2. i did go once and everything was fine but ill go again
3. i will try to convince her. she just has her mind set on me not being attracted to her anymore and she thinks im disgusting for sleeping with her when i clearly don’t enjoy it (literally her words)
3. no
4. i’ll try
5. i’ll try
Second post - 1 month later
AIO: I (24m) think my girlfriend (23f) is starving herself. Am I overreacting or should I bring it up?
Hello,
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years (our anniversary was on the 2nd), and I have been having suspicions that she might be starving herself or at least has an eating disorder. We moved in together about a year ago, so I learned her routine pretty quickly. However, I’ve noticed some changes.
A few examples: when she makes food, she never makes any for herself. When I ask her where her plate is, she says that she already ate. When I offer to share mine, she says no. If I insist, she takes the tiniest bite and says she’s full, but then I hear her stomach growling a few hours later. Or, if we share a sandwich, she always takes the smallest half. Sometimes it's noticeably smaller, and when I mention it, she gets nervous and tries to change the subject.
She’s been vomiting a lot lately, and I'm scared that she’s making herself throw up. She doesn’t seem to have any other symptoms besides vomiting, and when I ask her if something is wrong, she says she doesn’t know. Her vomiting doesn’t seem “real”—one time I heard her making a lot of gagging noises and coughing, as if she was forcing it. I’m really scared for her. Some of her pants are looking a little loose on her now. Again, maybe it’s normal, but I don’t know.
I talked briefly to my sister about it, and she said that I was imagining things. But I know my girlfriend. I live with her. I feel like she’s going through something right under my nose, and I’m too blind to see it.
One time, I planned a little date and cooked something for us (I told her I wanted to try a recipe I saw online). I wanted to eat it with her while watching a movie, but she said, “Oh no, sorry, I already ate before coming.” I knew she was lying because she couldn’t look me in the eyes. I told her that I thought we would eat together, and she said she forgot and that she’s trying to cut out dairy, so she wouldn’t have eaten it anyway. Again, lies. I dropped it because I didn’t want to fight, so we just watched the movie in mostly silence. I heard her stomach growl a couple of times, and she just drank water. I was getting so irritated because I had food prepared for both of us, so why not just eat?
We went to sleep, and I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and found her eating the food I had made earlier. Why is she ashamed to eat in front of me? I have never done or said anything to make her insecure about her body or her weight. I don’t understand. She’s always preaching communication, so why not communicate with me? Am I imagining things?
Also, she’s been pressing me about going to the gym with her and making her a workout plan. Again, maybe she’s just trying to get into fitness, but with everything else, I’m scared it’s something worse. If she is starving herself, how do I approach this conversation with her? Has anyone else dealt with something like this? How did it end?
Thank you.
Relevant Comments
polkadotbunny638
As someone who had an eating disorder, all of this fits. It sounds like talking to her isn't working, but maybe offering couples therapy or bringing your concerns to her family if you're close with them. It can get dangerous fast, it's good she has you to be there and try and help.
I’ll try. It’s especially difficult because I feel like she will automatically shut it down. She seems so on guard lately. I don’t know how to approach the subject
CharacterSea1169
You know I care about you. I want us to have a long relationship. I have noticed, lately, that you haven't been eating and it concerns me. I want you to know that you can trust me if there is a problem. I am here to support you. I am wondering if you could have an eating disorder like bulimia.
I bet she is on guard. She has noticed that you have noticed. Get yourself some reading material about eating disorders. They are not something that can be stopped at will. It is disordered thinking. This is something that must be dealt with by a mental health professional.
Good luck. What a good partner you are.
Lopsided-Gear1460
I’ve had all the different types of eating disorders at different times in my life, I still struggle with one now. I will say that we will do anything to keep from admitting it, and it sounds like she’s going through one (if not multiple) eating disorders. Please take this with a grain of salt, but I just wanted to share some tips on what was helpful for me while battling it:

1. Having food around, but not making me eat it at a designated time. You mentioned she ate leftovers later that night, that’s something I would do too, but I’d try to fight it off as long as I can
   
2. Please do NOT point out the weight loss, or mention she looks skinny - I would see that as a “win” and that I should keep doing what I’m doing because it’s working
   
3. Keep “safe” snacks around the house, even if that’s some low calorie or healthier options, so she feels better eating (we’re just trying to get her to eat.)
   
4. Tell her the throwing up is so concerning that you’re going to insist she goes to the doctor if it doesn’t get better soon, because “it could be a sign of something more serious, and you want to make sure she’s okay.” This might prevent the purging a bit.
   
5. Tell her how beautiful and amazing she is. Seriously. And ask her if she’s doing okay emotionally because she doesn’t seem like herself. I hope this helps OP, sending love to both of you.
   

ETA: typos
Third post - six days later
Hello, I made a post a couple of days ago regarding my girlfriend's eating disorder. I ended up having a conversation with her yesterday, and here’s how it went down.
I told her yesterday morning not to make any plans for that night because I wanted to do something with her. When she came home, I acted as if everything was normal. Not going to lie, I was scared at first because she seems so on guard these days. Every time I had tried to talk about this, she would always shut it down or just leave, so I was scared she would do that again.
I read some comments saying not to bring up her physical appearance because it could be seen as a “win” in her eyes, so I really tried not to do that. I ended up saying something like, "Baby, I want to talk to you because I've noticed certain behaviors, and I am worried about you. But I just want to start off by saying that I love you more than life, and that’s why I really want to solve this because I truly want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I've noticed that you haven’t been eating a lot lately, and it’s really worrying me. I know we’ve talked about this before, but I really want to have a conversation about it right now because I love you so much, and I’m scared for you. It's not weird that I care about you eating. I'm getting scared that something will happen to you because not eating and making yourself throw up can seriously affect your health. I am not trying to fight with you, but I feel like if we’re in a relationship, I should and have to bring up my concerns when there’s something. Will you please help me understand what's going on? I love you more than anything; please just help me help you."
She said I was making a big deal out of nothing and that she was fine. I said that in our three years of dating, I have never seen her act like this, and she said, "Well, of course, I’m not going to be the same at 20 and at 23." I said, "Please just talk to me and tell me what’s going on." She was quiet for a little bit and then said, "Do you think I look skinnier?"
I didn’t know what to say. Again, some people said NOT to tell her if I noticed her weight loss, but then I didn’t want to lie to her. I said I didn’t know and that I don’t notice those kinds of things. I then said that her throwing up was concerning too and I felt like she does it secretly as if she was doing it on purpose. I followed with, "I just want to help you, please," and she blurted out, "I know you don’t find me attractive anymore." I was speechless, not going to lie, because it's not true, and she just started crying like I’ve never seen her cry before. She was inconsolable.
She eventually told me that she “knew” we had bedroom issues because of my lack of attraction to her. (Context: I’ve had issues cumming, and it strained our relationship a bit. We had a serious talk about it, I got an appointment with a urologist, and I thought we had moved past it.) She said that she knew I wasn’t able to cum because I thought she was ugly and fat. I was so confused. She even pulled up examples that I had no idea about. She said that three or four months ago, we were having sex, and when I was about to finish, I apparently glanced at her stomach, and it made me not able to cum.
I reassured her that this is completely false and that I might have a medical issue, but I love her body and her face, and I think she’s the prettiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. She was like, "Stop lying." She then revealed that she didn’t even want to get skinny and that she’s doing all of this for me. I didn’t know what to say; I’ve never been in those types of situations. I just held her as she was crying in my arms, and at this point, I was crying too. I just repeated that I love her and that I’m here for her. She was crying so hard. She fell asleep in my arms.
While she was sleeping, I started looking up couples therapists and eating disorder therapists. When she woke up, she looked happier. She still wasn’t eating, but she seemed less reserved. And here I am now. I saw a comment suggesting that I should buy low-calorie snacks just to get her to eat, but I’m scared. Just finally having that conversation was hard, but now getting her to eat is a different story. Same with therapy. I don’t know if she’ll blow up at that suggestion. I called in sick at work just to spend time with her. I will try to eventually convince her to go to therapy, but for now, I don’t know. Thank you, everyone, for commenting; you all helped so much!
Relevant Comments
Specialist_Air6693
I’ve struggled with anorexia for 16 years, started when I was 14. Your conversation was beautiful! Please call a physician for further assistance! She may need to go into a facility to get her behaviors back in check. Do not force regular foods, this can cause more issues than beneficial. Start with protein shakes and smoothies. Liquids that are packed with nutrition.
Thank you so much
Status_Reception1181
You did amazing!! What a shock to hear she thought you wanted this, it must have hurt. This will be a long journey but it sounds like you are looking up the right things. Sending love and healing
I know I haven’t stopped thinking about this. I’m trying to think about every conversation I’ve ever had with her and I literally cannot think of a single thing I’ve said or done to let her think I don’t like her body. Thank you for the support this means a lot to me
FaelingJester
I have dysmorphia. My SIL posted candid shots of me on a trip recently and all I can see is how awful I look. What weird facial expressions I'm making. How unnatural I look sitting or standing. It's just wrong and deeply upsetting. It literally threw me into a panic attack and made me ill. Objectively I am capable of seeing that those things aren't true or not more true then anyone else in an unflattering/unposed picture but it caught me off guard and easily could have gotten worse if I didn't have the tools I've gained over years to help me manage. I have supportive and loving friends and family but I can also tell you that I've latched on to every even unintended negative thing they've said because my brain has a medical issue that needs treatment. Please don't try to logic your girlfriend out of a chemical imbalance that she needs and deserves help with.
momonomino
As someone who has suffered from various eating disorders since the age of 6, I want to make sure you understand something very important: no matter what she says, YOU did not cause this.
Eating disorders lie to you, and it is very possible that the sexual issues the two of you have had may have sprung a leak in the intrusive thoughts for her, but that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. A dormant and presumably in-check or even unrealized eating disorder can jump start from something as benign as work troubles. It is simply about being in control of something, ANYTHING, makes you feel powerless.
You are challenging that control, so she's lashing out. Like I said, eating disorders lie to you. They also teach you how to lie. It's like a parasite struggling to survive - it will make its host body do anything to keep it alive.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you've handled things amazingly so far, and I think that you're proving yourself to be exactly the patient and loving partner she's going to need.
Marked ongoing.
If you have comments, keep them HERE. DO NOT brigade over to the original post to comment. DO NOT harass the OOP with dms or replies.
Stay safe and remember: a preposition is an incorrect word to end a sentence with.

Recently explored Sunrise mall and wanted to share a few pictures. It was insane. Brought back so many memories

Hopefully this doesn’t sound mean because I’m genuinely curious.
There are tonnes of posts on this sub asking for help choosing a bag but I RARELY see a follow-up post with a picture of what was chosen. What’s going on here? Is everyone asking for help then just not sharing what they got? Is it a matter of living in fantasy-land asking for help but never pulling the trigger? Is there something else going on!
Show me the bags friends!!!!

Sorry i know this might now be the right group to ask that, but i cant find anything else to post this to?
Basically when i(M19) was 15 i met my first love. We went out together, talked about life and she talked about her family and how her father was a drunk and i just saw a broken soul and knew that i wanted to be there for her and “Help her” Which later bited me in the ass with boy best friend issues and stuff like that. We were together for about 1,5years. But happy about that was only about 2 months. I was always there for her but everytime she got better she left and friendzoned me and blocked me and called me again when shit hit the fan, and ofc as i was young and dumb and in love, i was always there for her everytime she came back. But finally it ended with me being in a friendzone and her getting frisky with another man even tho we didnt do anything for 1,5years besides kissing. So after that she wanted to get back together but that crossed the line for me and we ended it for good. 4 months later i found a new girl to talk to, everything seemed fine at first but later on her dad left their family bc of their parents issues. Later she told me their parents have broken up and got back together for about 4 times but this was their final straw. And after that the shit hit the fan. She started dressing more provocative, posting provocative pictures on ig and so on and on. we were together for 11 months and that ended bc of a huge fight that was blown up bc of smalls fights that gave trust issues. lets just say the window was just too cracked and one last rock broke the glass.
After those 2 relationships i saw the similarities between first and second relationship, and the effect of absent/bad father figure. Later down the line about 4 months after my second relationship ended. I started talking to new girl. We shared a lot in common but she had BPD and her father had alcohol issues. It was fun talking with her and i started developing feelings for her but she had just broken up with her ex, which was fine by me but later found out that she still secretly hanged around with her ex. I know we weren’t together and anything but still, it hurt a little but i had to take my signs from previous relationships and walk away before things go deep. So can someone tell me wtf is wrong with me and why do i always fall for people like this, even tho i know that its bad for me?

I (31F) was dating and then in a relationship with a someone (39M) until recently.
We started out being just friends but even during that phase he pursued me quite a lot. He made the effort to be around me at work as much as possible. He tried to help me with different things constantly. We would text each other all day everyday. There was one evening when I was exhausted from work and said I won't be eating as I had no energy to cook and he got me uber eats, which felt like something people don't do for friends this early on.
He asked me once if he could take a polaroid picture of me as he is taking photos of friends and family. I let him and asked if he will be taking pictures of anyone else in our office. He said he would and then did not. We continued to flirt and he acted quite a lot like a boyfriend.
I kept dating other people as he never said he wanted anything more than that. My team then mentioned that he seems to like me. I spoke to him and we both eventually admitted to having some feelings for each other, however he was not ready to date. I told him that unfortunately it would be really hard to stay friends for me. He got very upset with me and didn't speak to me for a week or so. He then apologised and asked if we can be friends again. I said it would be okay this time as I felt he got so upset the first time it would be easier to just be friends. We then ended up spending more and more time together (once he came to a&e as I was feeling quite unwell and worried and stayed with me) and eventually got closer and he said he was ready to date. He told me that while we weren't speaking he spoke to his friend from like 10 years ago about us and that she helped him feel more confident in pursuing a relationship as the reason he wasn't ready is because he felt like he wasn't good enough for me.
About a month into us dating exclusively, I went over to his house. It turned out that he had been lying to me the entire time about where he lived (which was at home with his family). It wasn't just a one off lie - he showed me photos of what was left to move out, he told me every so often how tired he was from the move and how hopefully it's over soon - this continued for about a month. I also saw a polaroid of a girl on his wall that I had never seen before or been told about which was right after my polaroid with the inscription "the most beautiful girl in the world" and then her name. I didn't say anything right away as I was trying to process both things. When we left for work the next day I told him I wanted to slow the relationship down as some of my trust issues were coming up to the surface and I needed some time to process them. I didn't tell him that I realised he was lying to me about at least one big things consistently.
When we eventually spoke about what was happening - he just dug a bigger hole about the house situation until finally admitting he had been lying to me. When I mentioned the girl, he said they were just friends. He said that he took her out to lunch to talk about me and him - which he never mentioned to me before despite us all working in the same building and him mentioning speaking to his other friend (also a girl). I then also realised this is the same girl he mentioned once saying that his team has a bookclub with their team. He then changed it to only them two sharing books when I asked about it again. The inscription he said she wrote herself. I asked him why it was in quations and he said someone in the restaurant called her that. I asked who and he stuttered. I asked if it was staff and he said it was a waitress. None of this felt like truth to me, but I was enjoying my time with him and I wanted to believe it so I said I'm happy to keep dating but I wanted to meet her and her boyfriend (it later turned out she didn't have a boyfriend but was just dating around). He said that's fine and that he will arrange.
A month later we still haven't met with the girl and I wanted to double check with him one evening if that's still happening as it's important to me. I asked calmly and without any accusations. He became very moody and wouldn't speak to me. I eventually started being a bit of a dick to him and said he was acting like a child. He then started to get very angry once we left the restaurant. I told him I wanted to be left alone and went home.
We then spoke again and made up. He said he will make sure we meet one day with the friend and we kind of just went back to normal for a bit. He asked me to meet his friends and it went really well. Before I met them he made sure that I know that nothing that went wrong between us was ever told to any of his friends so they won't have any ill feelings about me or anything.
When we got home, I realised I honestly am starting to fall for him now and the only thing that's still nagging at me is the situation with this hidden friend. I told him I was really sorry to ask for this but if I could look at their messages it could help us be stronger and that I'm sure I won't find anything there but I just don't want to be an idiot. He let me read them.
Things I found in the texts:

1. They had arranged to see each other the day before when I wasn't at work and spent time together - which he never mentioned
2. They talk constantly and try to meet up constantly
3. She fishes for compliments and he showers her with attention saying things like "you're the most beautiful girl in (our place of work)" - this was right before we dated, but even during us dating he is showering her with validation and saying how everyone she is dating doesn't deserve her since she's so stunning and so funny
4. He spoke very negatively of me to her on many occasions including when I stupidly believed we were very happy. There isn't a single message that I saw that said anything positive about our relationship
5. He offers to buy her things
6. He also asked her if he could take a polaroid of her - we were the only two people he photographed in all of work and it is a very big workplace

I told him to leave and that we are not seeing each other anymore. He tried to explain all of it away with excuses but I know what is and isn't true. I just feel like I've allowed someone into my life who didn't not deserve to be there because he appeared kind at first.
I'm left trying to understand if there is anything I can do better. He said I led him to secrecy because he felt guilty over a perfectly normal friendship. I know for certain the secrecy started before I even know what this "friendship" was. I also don't think that's a "perfectly normal friendship".
However, I do want feedback still. Please let me know if any of my actions asshole behaviour and if I couldve done better.
Thanks!

I'm just like a lot of you here, a life long sufferer that's got a plethora of allergies and sensetivities that sets my skin off. I've had UV treatment in the past too, full body flares that have lasted months and all the pain and misery that goes along with that. I'm 38, M.
I would share pictures of this last ordeal with contact dermatitis I've had but honestly I think they are too graphic and gory for public viewing.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I stopped using moisturiser altogether and steroids and I stopped drinking coffee and tea and I've been avoiding high nickel foods (as I have a nickel allergy.)
I take a fexofenadine 180mg in the morning with a banana and a tall glass of cold water and a cetirizine hydrochloride 10mg if I detect a slight itch throughout the day.
I've also been drinking decaf coffee with goats milk. Very tired with headaches from caffeine withdrawal but itch is vanishing rapidly.
Managed to limit my bathing to once a week for 3 minutes in cool water again and I'm currently not using any soap or shampoo or anything at all. Using unfragranced baby wipes for under arms and groin to wash between bath days and that's it. Also not using detergents at all to wash clothes. They always set me off.
I've gone from looking and feeling like a medical experiment for 70+ days to something resembling a healthy human in 5 days. Redness is gone, still getting a lot of flaking here and there but nothing major. Wounds and raw patches have scabbed over and some flaked to reveal new skin.
Itch isn't really there unless I sweat in my sleep and I have been able to combat that with keeping a window open, drinking cold water and gently exfoliating briefly with a towel once a day.
70+ days was Hell on earth. First couple days without moisturizer was rough. Third day was bearable and rapid improvement in these last two days.
I'm shocked.