There was a wedding this weekend. But it was a couple in college and their idea of a wedding primarily centered around being newly 21 so lots of toasts and alcohol, also, religious, with homilies and hymns. Such an event is not a great place for someone with a debilitating, poorly controlled depressive mood disorder, characterized by terrible general and social anxiety.
When I first started dating my s/o, they had a story they would tell me on repeat about going to a family wedding some years ago and losing it, crying, big crying, during the ceremony, and their plus one at the time was embarrassed to have gone with them. The rest of the wedding involved getting drunk to bury emotions. The story would come up out of the blue like a trauma flashback. ...It probably WAS a trauma flashback. Having a mental health meltdown so publicly, in a nearly silent event hall, where everyone knew who they were was one of their great terrors, and they lived it.
Life post-ketamine has been very different. Still, my s/o was freaked out that there was a wedding to go to but felt obligated to say yes. The rehearsal dinner the day before involved everyone being instructed to give a toast, and there were a LOT of guests.
Instead of being overwhelmed and getting hammered, then more emotionally unstable due to alcohol, then freaking out at giving toast, my s/o took some air and decided it was better to leave the rehearsal dinner early, skip the bar, and call it good. They made it through the dinner and introductions and a hoard of college students with slumped shoulders and circles under their eyes fidgeting with their first ever suit or gown, not knowing how to walk around in nice clothing. It was an anxiety inducing event for sure, to be surrounded by self-esteem impaired kids who were all going for the booze but without the benefit of self control from experience at fine dining parties, with what looked like over 100 people, and everyone asking for public sharing of personal details, also a pro photographer yelling to smile! They held up well, discussed current work projects and some new construction, introduced me to people I had never met, and put out some effort to show pride in me and make me look good socially. I was pretty stunned.
But that night they panicked a little that they would fall apart again at the actual wedding, and everyone would think they were some kind of weak fool. The story went back on repeat after being gone for over a year.
For about an hour, they were trying to negotiate with me to support using drugs or alcohol to dull the experience, some lashing blame, general disarray of thinking and planning. But they assumed it would be the same as last time, they couldn't live through that embarassment again, falling apart in front of 100 people and being obligated not to leave. The
The next morning they had calmed down, apologized for being so strung out, and we strategized and bought a wine bottle shaped jug of grape juice for the table, so the glasses would be full of something wine-ish and no one would try to force alcohol into their empty glass, and demand they toast and drink, which would definitely put them into a downward spiral.
The wedding later that day was worse in terms of anxiety induction. The hymns, and religious speeches, and a nearly hour long preacher lecture to the couple was a prelude to the too loud background music and people all around yelling to be heard while everyone in fine clothing tried to eat the catered tacos and liquid cheese pour over nachos, with their hands, while avoiding necktties and lace.
And it was fine. No emotional upheaval, no panic due to the crowd, no horror at meeting people.
After four hours, they had congratulated the happy couple, dinner with relatives, family photos, signed the Bible, written note to the couple for the memory scrap book, caught up with relatives, and had real conversations for about two hours of the event. When it was clear there was no emerging timeline for cake cutting, they asked to take a quick walk outside where we could hear each other and we made an exit plan. They had enough bandwidth to compliment the mother of the bride and father of the bride and congratulate them, beg off early due to being a little overwhelmed and blamed their social anxiety diagnosis, and stopped to say goodbye to close relatives.
Since we missed the cake, we pulled in at the nearest gas station and they pounded down a nasty Hostess type pastry cake as a stress relief/token of achievement and we had a good laugh.
They felt depressed for a couple hours afterward, talking about how gross it felt to be surrounded by people who were parading polite personas and be expected to wear the same mask. That the religious content had been much more than they'd been expecting, e.g. required singing about how we are all God's weapons against devils (an interesting choice for a wedding.) Church was never a safe place for them, it was social group where you "can pray away mental illness," and remaining mentally ill was a sign of further personal failure. So feeling low and blue wasn't so much a symptom as a very normal response to being sat down through prayers and hymns and recitations, etc.
And then they played with their kitten to have the kitten run around chasing toys until exhausted and happy sleepy, gave it dinner and asked if I wanted to snuggle and catch up on the news on TV.
And things were fine. They reflected that they didn't fall apart, that they never expected to be able to handle an event like that. That leaving a little early was not much of a sin and they'd been talkative, likeable, well-dressed, and nice company.
The next day there was no recovery or fall out. They did a big favor (1.5 hours driving) for an acquaintance who was rushing in from out of town for an elderly family member who broke their leg. This favor did not stop them from getting some work done, kitten care, and schedule planning.
What a change. From a mental health melt down and subsequent years of relived trauma, improving to the point where the big follow up was them giving me an eyeroll in the car and saying "next time, I'm asking about how many hymns and homilies there will be before I RSVP."

Long story short, when we first dated around 3 years ago he told me he is still friends with his ex (who lives in another country and speaks another language) and I was okay with it since we were still not serious although i found it a bit weird how close they still were (she sent him a picture of her new dildo) etc.
Then he told me he wants to introduce me to her but i wasn’t comfortable really, and part of me thought that yea well i wouldn’t really be comfortable meeting my ex’s new gf, let alone needing him to translate half of the time, so i declined.
Then he has all of his “close female friends” from that country in which he slept with at a certain point in his past. That also didn’t resonate well with me but after a long ass discussion he kind of convinced me that its normal and in the past.
Then on i noticed that whenever he meets any of my female friends or new females, he is extremely friendly, which i thought was nice at first till I noticed the amount of attention he seems to give to them, from compliments to teasing to texting them and calling them (all friendly not flirty but you know borderline?)
So i started getting more and more insecure. Till we broke up last year (long distance) and he slept with a girl he knew when we were together but never told me about two days after we broke up - while we were still on talking terms, and “lets meet and figure things out” -
Ffwd to after we met and i knew and all of that drama we got back together, im on his phone one day and i see a secret chat from one of his “close female friends abroad” and i check his msgs (i know its wrong but i wanted to know if it was a one time thing or recurring- and apparently it was their thing, even when we were broken up they still had a secret chat, and then after when we were together.
Am I delusional? He says im extremely insecure and irrational and i should work on this myself and he refuses to remove any of those “friends” i confronted him with this chat he said it was his idea out of fear from me…
He also says “ I gave you the chance to meet my ex but you refused so i will not make you meet any of them like this”

Long post.. bear with me.. 😩
so i’ve been in this sub for a little bit and just haven’t posted, y’know.. the usual. i was observing but also nervous.. 😣 anyway, so a little backstory about who i am and a bit about my situation.. Im 29 (nb) currently living with my dad, 51 (m). my mother had me under the impression that my father was deceased and had been since before i was born, (her and i no longer have a relationship at all btw) and an event that happened when we did have a slight relationship left was her admitting to me that my father wasn’t actually deceased and she introduced me to him.. WHEN I WAS 19. the more him and i became close the more my relationship with my mother withered away…
I’ve seen my dad in person one other time before i moved in with him after my younger brother, 19 (m) passed away and he asked me to come stay with him so i’m closer, considering i’m his only child left… So this being my second time, i’m still learning who he is and how he really goes about his everyday life, handles situations, etc.. well i’ve started to realize that he’s a decent amount of toxic himself.. ever since i got here, it seems he’s using me as a pawn for his anger.. For example, he’ll go thru his stuff and move it around and place something somewhere which i have no idea, (99% of the time i am in my own world) and when he goes to look for it days later, he gets angry and blames it on me. I can’t ever disagree with him, or have a negative response to ANYTHING he says, or it’s the end of the world. one day he used the “you’re in my space” line when i got upset that he came home with some chick at 4am while i was sleeping and woke me up, which kinda hurt my feelings bc… i moved here to stay with you, this should be OUR space now, but whatever. That same day, I messaged him privately after exiting the room, bc I didn’t wanna say it in front of his guest but i straight up told him the more he acts like this the less I wanna be here.. those are just SOME examples of what’s happened before.. there’s so much more.. just never thought he’d treat me THIS bad.. 😔
now we are in a very awful state in our life, we have to move out of our current apt and i have NO idea where we’re going, our car battery just quit on us last night, so we have no wheels atm… I’ve had thoughts of reaching out to my therapist that i have now since I’ve got insurance and seeing if they could help me find other options for me personally.. I don’t mind staying in the state, but living with my father is going to be a no for me.. since i’m not sure how to navigate the area yet, i have no idea what to do with myself but i surely don’t want to keep putting up with him like this.. 😕

Howdy. I am officer M (only M, privacy reasons, could lose my job if I was exposed). I’ve been investigating these three cases for the past few years, and I wanted to see if anyone had any clue how to solve them.
I normally wouldn’t go to places like Reddit for this, but I’m desperate. Everyone else I’ve tried has said that this is some kind of webseries project thing. It isn’t.
I’m gonna show you the transcriptions of three sets of video tapes. The first set is from James Barlowe, the second from Daren Redd, and the third from Nick Robin.
Well, I’d better get on with it.
[- - -]
There’s only one tape in this section. It begins with a man in a priest’s uniform (identified as James Barlowe) in the driver’s seat of a car. The person holding the camera is in the passenger’s side.
CAMERAMAN (LATER IDENTIFIED AS NICK ROBIN): “So! What’re we doing, James?”
JAMES: “Oh, uhm, we’re going to a haunted house to perform an exorcism.”
NICK: “Hell yeah we are!”
Nick turns the camera towards his face.
NICK: “Someone tipped us off on a haunted house recently, so we’re gonna go check it out. And James is gonna use his cool priest powers or whatever to get rid of the ghosts! Right James?”
The camera pans to James.
JAMES: “Ah- Yeah.”
The camera turns back to Nick.
NICK: “Now, I’m not gonna be in this one too much, since James is gonna be doing his stuff on his own.”
JAMES: “Wait what?”
The tape cuts off here, and picks back up with James holding the camera. He’s in front of a run-down, abandoned house. He seems nervous, fidgeting with the stole around his neck.
JAMES: “Okay, so, uhm. I am Father Barlowe, and, uhm..I kind of thought Nick was gonna be here. He- He told me he was gonna be here. I dunno. Uhm. Today I’m going to exorcise this ghost. I, uh, don’t know if I’m allowed to do that anymore. But I know how.”
James turns the camera around, and starts to walk into the house. The front door opens into a hallway, which leads to a living room. The camera shakes as James fumbles with his pockets, then brings out a cross. He holds it out in front of him.
JAMES: “Uhm, if there are any ghosts here, show yourself.”
Nothing happens. James mutters something about editing. He waves the cross around dramatically.
JAMES: “Ghost, or demon, or whatever you are, please come and-”
A loud bang comes from somewhere within the house. James seems to flinch. He can be heard heavily breathing as he turns the camera towards the sound.
JAMES: “Uhm..Okay. That’s okay. I’ve got a cross. I’m okay.”
James begins to walk down the hall, where the sound was heard. The camera is shaking, and James is holding out his cross.
JAMES: “Okay, uhm- I think..I think the ghost is in there.”
James points to the doorway at the end of the corridor, then advances towards it. He walks through, and into what appears to be a study. There is a desk and chair in the corner. The chair has a pitch-black figure in it.
JAMES: “Oh god, okay, uhm- Okay. Okay. Uhm. Uh- Demon!”
The figure turns to face James. He holds out his cross with a trembling hand.
JAMES: “Foul creature, begone from this home-”
The figure stands up and begins to walk towards James. The camera is dropped.
JAMES: “Oh God, oh God!”
James can be heard running away.
[- - -]
This first tape is very intriguing to me. The figure has not been identified. At least, not as anyone in the town.
I interviewed both Nick Robin and James Barlowe (they had not gone missing after this video. quite the contrary, in fact. James Barlowe is the one that brought the video to police), and they revealed that most of the content in their videos was fake.
They said that the events of the video were not planned.
[- - -]
The camera appears to be moved around a bit, before setting up to show a man in a red hoodie (identified as Daren Redd) sitting in an office chair. It can be assumed that he’s at his desk. He smiles at the camera.
DAREN: “Uh- Hi. This feels weird, haha. I don’t think I should introduce myself? I don’t know. No one but me’s gonna see this anyways. Unless I make, like, a giant scientific discovery. Or break a world record.”
Daren fidgets with the strings of his hoodie, twirling one between his fingers.
DAREN: “So. My sleep schedule sucks. I’ve been trying to fix it for weeks now, it isn’t working. I’ve decided, fuck it, I’m just gonna roll with it. So! I’m gonna try and stay up for 12 days straight.”
Daren grabs the camera, and shows a calendar up on the wall. The month and year are cut off. Two days are circled (Tuesday, then the next Saturday).
DAREN: “I’ve got a calendar here so that I can figure out how long I’ve been up. If I do more physical stuff, maybe I’ll stay up longer! Haha.”
The camera pans back to Daren.
DAREN: “I’ve got my room-mate watching over me. He’s actually in here right now- Say hi, Nick!”
(PRESUMABLY) NICK, IN THE BACKGROUND: “Hey.”
DAREN: “I rested up real good to prepare for this, so I’m hoping that my plan works. So, uh..Yeah. D-Man out.”
The next tape starts out with Daren holding the camera up to Nick Robin.
DAREN: “Niiiiiiiick.”
NICK: “Why are you recording me?”
DAREN: “Nick how long have I been awake?”
NICK: “Since yesterday, I think.”
Daren flips the camera around to face him. He has a large grin on his face.
DAREN: “That’s right, baby! D-Man has been awake for one whole day! Well- Two? One? Since Tuesday. It’s, uh, Wednesday.”
Daren shows the calendar to the camera. Tuesday is crossed off.
DAREN: “So far, nothing weird has happened yet. I’m tired, but I’ve been drinking a ton of Monster.”
The camera pans to a trash can, with several cans of Monster in it.
DAREN: “So! I should be able to stay up as long as I need. World record, here I come!”
The third tape begins with Daren dragging a trash bag outside.
DAREN: “Ok so I forgot to record a tape today, and I know that if I don’t do it now I’m gonna forget again. But, uhm, I’ve been up for..Uh..I dunno. Time is a concept, anyways. It’s Thursday now, though!”
Daren heaves the trash bag into a can. He walks back inside, and sighs with relief as he enters.
DAREN: “Whew, I love air conditioning.”
NICK (IN THE BACKGROUND): “Dude- Why don’t you take your hoodie off?”
DAREN: “Ah, y’know.”
NICK: “I really don’t.”
DAREN: “See, you get it!”
Daren chuckles and brings the camera into his room. He sets it down on his desk, and sits down in the office chair. He has bags under his eyes, and his hair looks messier than usual.
DAREN: “So. Recently, I’ve been tired. Like, horridly tired. To the point where even sitting down is a..” Yawn. “Risky move for me. But, working from home is keeping me on my toes. Who knew that writing reports could be so exhilerating!”
He looks over his shoulder for a moment, before turning back to the camera. His eyes appear wide and frightened, but he’s still smiling.
DAREN: “Uh, pro tip, maybe don’t try this stuff! I’m stupid enough to try and get a world record, but you, uh, shouldn’t be. Anyways, uhm, D-Man out.”
The fourth tape shows Daren in the hospital, sitting next to Nick, who is in a bed with an IV in his arm. Daren’s eye bags have gotten worse.
DAREN: “Hey, uhm. I don’t know if I’m supposed to record in here. I had to drive Nick to the hospital- He had a dairy allergy thing.”
NICK: “I said he could record in here, don’t worry.”
DAREN: “Yea, he- He said I could record this. I think I’m gonna stay the night here- People do that at hospitals, right? But, uh, they don’t need a bed for me. Because I’m not sleeping! I’m just gonna, uh, play on my phone for the night.”
Daren looks over his shoulder, before turning back to the camera.
DAREN: “Well! It’s Friday now. Been, uh, four days, I think? Yeah. I’ve been awake for four whole days! Well, uhm, this is more filler than anything. Nothing to note. D-Man out.”
The fifth tape is corrupted. Nothing is salvageable.
The sixth tape begins with Daren sitting at his desk. He looks tired beyond comprehension. His knee is bouncing, and he’s tapping his fingers on the table.
DAREN: “Uh, day..Six. I think. It’s Sunday now. The Lord’s day, ha-ha! I’m- I’m not religious. But, uhm, I know one of Nick’s friends is. James something. Maybe I should call that guy. I-”
Daren cuts himself off by looking over his shoulder. He looks back. His eyes are wild and terrified.
DAREN: “I think this was a bad idea. A horrible idea. I- I tried to sleep yesterday. But I couldn’t. I can’t- I can’t close my eyes for too long. Uhm..Nick has been in the hospital since Friday. He’s- He should be back by now. His visits never take this long.”
Daren chuckles. His voice sounds nervous.
DAREN: “He should be back soon, though, right? Right. He’s just taking a bit longer than usual. Uhm, Darry out.”
The seventh tape shows Daren sitting under his desk. He sets up the camera and brings his knees to his chest.
DAREN: “Nick came back today. He, uhm. He’s acting different. I was- I was talking to him, and he, uhm. He forgot he had a dairy allergy. He just..Forgot. I reminded him and he went- He went, oh, yeah. Like he didn’t go to the hospital for it a couple days ago.”
Daren appears to be trembling. He pulls his hood over his head.
DAREN: “..Been awake for seven days, ha-ha. So close! Just, uhm..Five? Four? Something around that. That many days left. I don’t- I don’t wanna do this. But I think I have to. I think it’ll leave me alone if I..”
Daren looks up at something offscreen, and screams.
[- - -]
Daren Redd went missing after this video. I’ve been looking for him for years. I’m trying to stay professional here, but I really don’t know what’s going on. I still sometimes try to figure out what he was looking at in the last tape. But there’s no reflection in his eyes- No shadows anywhere. Nothing. Could he be hallucinating?
I don’t think he is. I think he’s seeing things, sure, but they’re real. They have to be real.
[- - -]
This last section begins with Nick Robin in a car. He’s driving this time, with the camera on the dashboard. James is in the passenger seat. There’s camping gear and a few bags in the back seats.
NICK: “Hey! Welcome back to the PDC (later identified as Paranormal Discovery Channel, the youtube account that both Nick Robin and James Barlowe share), today we’re gonna be exploring a whole abandoned town! It’s called, uh..What was it called again?”
JAMES: “Sasbol heights.”
NICK: “Right, right. Sasbol heights or whatever. Anyways! It’s gonna be cool. Oh- There it is! Dude dude dude- Look!”
The camera points to a charred-looking town. Maybe burnt down?
NICK: “We’re gonna get settled, then get back to all of you. I’ll see y’all soon!”
The next tape begins with Nick sitting in a tent.
NICK: “So! It’s been, like, a day. The first night was pretty underwhelming- Just some creepy old town with bugs and stuff. Nothing too special. Just a bigger version of a haunted house.”
Nick looks off screen- Presumably at James. Nick chuckles.
NICK: “James is sleeping right now. Apparently he’s been having nightmares? That’s, uh, pretty normal for him, though. Oh! Today I started setting up the ghost hunting stuff. Unpacking, putting up cameras, all that jazz.”
There’s shuffling from behind the camera. Nick smiles at (assumedly) James, and winks at the camera.
The third tape starts with Nick and James going into one of the abandoned houses. Nick seems much more enthusiastic than James.
JAMES: “We’re gonna put a voice-over on this, right?”
NICK: “Yea, yea. Something something, abandoned house, something something.”
JAMES: “Good, good, uhm..Nick, man, you know I like doing this and all..But I don’t think I like this episode. It’s like- It feels wrong, y’know?”
NICK: “Mm..You’re right, you’re right. But hey! Think of the money we’ll get from this. Our reactions are gonna be authentic and shit. Plus, we’ve only got a day left.”
Nick pats James’ back, and James smiles.
JAMES: “Right. You’re right.”
The fourth tape is corrupted.
The fifth tape doesn’t include James or Nick’s face, but we can assume who is talking.
NICK: “Listen, man, it- It just got corrupted. It’s fine, right? It’s cool. We can redo it-”
JAMES: “I’m fucking serious, Nick! This isn’t normal! None of the shit we saw yesterday was planned!”
NICK: “I know, I know, but come on man! I need this money!”
JAMES: “Money isn’t worth it, at this point. Please, God, let’s just leave.”
NICK: “If you wanna leave, just go! I can do the video without you.”
JAMES: “I’m not just leaving you with these demons!”
Both Nick and James are quiet for a while. Nick silently walks back to the tent, bringing the camera with him.
The sixth tape is shot from within Nick’s car. Nick is driving, the camera is on the dashboard. He seems terrified.
NICK: “I’m not publishing this. I’m keeping this for myself, and- I don’t know! The police, probably! Jesus Christ- I’m fucking speeding. Are there even road laws here?”
Nick looks at his gas tank, seeing the needle nearing the E. He begins to tear up.
NICK: “Fuck- Uhm. What happened. James tried to kill me, and- And I don’t think he’s James anymore. I really don’t. He’s- He’s not that guy I went to high school with. There’s actually no way.”
He looks at the camera briefly, doing a quick double take.
NICK: “What- No. No. No- Goddammit! Leave me alone!”
The car swerves, and the camera topples over.
[- - -]
I’ve been thinking about these cases since I found them. The actual police department doesn’t know about them- And I haven’t told my superior about them. These tapes just kind of appeared at my doorstep one day, along with a camera.
I looked at the camera’s film, and found three images.
The first one is a picture from the first set of tapes. It seems edited, though. James has a halo.
The second one is from the second set. It shows an image of Daren, with some kind of pitch-black figure behind him.
The third one is, supposedly, from the third set. Though nothing like it is seen anywhere in the tapes. It’s an image taken from the driver’s seat of Nick’s car, showing the camera from the video on the dashboard. On the screen of the camera is Nick. The image is edited to show a car tire over Nick’s face.
If anyone knows anything about James Barlowe, Daren Redd, or Nick Robin, please tell me at [xxxxxxxxxxxxxx]@gmail.com.

It is good, just not good enough

I get what the developers are going for and commend them for their hard work and novel idea. However, there is not much meat on this bone. For the 25 USD price point the game has not met my expectations. Combat is lacking, some mechanics are straight up bad and should be removed, and the game can soft lock you repeatedly during random encounters

The 'Wordle' part

The setup of the game is simple. You type words to execute an action or attack. You find new actions or attacks by revealing words one at the time per character. The way the game helps you discover the words is through combat, which reveals 1 letter you choose, or through riddles, where the letters in the answer will apply to all of the characters speeding up the discovery proces.

Combat

The combat is based on the player typing these discovered words.

• One of the main gripes I have with combat is the cooldown mechanic. It completely removes the player's typing speed from the combat skill equation: How fast you can type only matters at the initial attacks, after that you just line up the words and hit enter after the character's cooldown expires.
• There is also not a lot of variety in attacks between characters
• Some words (like salmon or urchins) do the same thing on the same character.
• The overview of all the unlocked 'words' (i.e. attacks) mixes the important attack words with other useless 'memory' words that have no use throughout the game
• Enemies have a shield that can soft lock you. You unlock crack early on in the game for Jorro. If the shield enemies have armor you need to crack before being able to do damage AND a shield that states any of the letters that are used in the word to counter it, you can't progress and just have to wait for your party to die.
• The armor mechanic also makes heavy hitting attacks much less useful, as you have to remove the armor before being able to deal more damage. So knowing puppet, rattle or cackle (which are all, again, stacked on the same character) often does little

Exploring

The exploring gets old quickly. All areas start to look the same. Rocks, grass, a wooden door and rampart. It never really changes. The black and white visuals do little to redeem this and perhaps even add to the repetitive look of the dungeon. The rooms you will explore can be quite big. As a dungeon crawler it makes sense you want to explore these rooms, but the game does nothing to reward you for it. You can waste a lot of time navigating all the nooks and crannies of the map, expecting perhaps a chest or puzzle, but instead be rewarded with more black and white walls.

Puzzles and Riddles

The riddles are great and are a nice addition to the game. The mental switch from 'Wordle Dungeon Crawler' to solving riddles is fun and feels good. Not all riddles are equal though, some are unoriginal and you've probably heard before many times whereas others are quite clever and new. The one thing they completely messed up is that not all riddles have the correct answer.
Early on the game acknowledges this in the tombs. The riddle "What has an eye but cannot see" can be given multiple answers and the NPC will reply with "I did not expect that particular answer but it is also correct so here is your prize". You can answer blind, needle or storm and all will be true and counted as such.
Later in the game this completely goes away. For example the riddle "What do you have but never use, and others use all the time" requires the answer "name", but a) you do use your name to introduce yourself and b) In that case something akin to 'your reputation' should also fit. Or Your phone number. There are many riddles that can be given multiple answers to in this game and I was hoping, due to the core mechanic being trial and error inputting words, the game would accommodate this throughout the game.
This makes solving riddles much more frustrating and less fun. It makes it feel abitrary. It highlights the fact that the 'dungeon master' that you interact with has much more limited interactions than you'd expect at first.
The game also has a big difficulty spike at Ulara castle when it comes to riddles. There is one where you straight up need create an algebraic function and solve it. It makes the pacing feel weird and the new area feel like a brick wall which I am sure will discourage a lot of players. You can have the narrator literally give you the answer after 1 or 2 tries, but for a game about solving riddles, where is the fun in that.

The story

You are probably not buying this for the story but rather for the gameplay mechanics described above. If you mainly want a good dungeon crawler story, this is not the game for you. The characters in this story are weak and interchangeable. Your party of heroes consist of mutes. The game tells you to talk to NPCs and interact with them using action keywords like 'talk', 'use' or anything contextual. But 90% of the time you can't talk to the NPCs and the dungeon master gives you the same reply again and again. 'You will talk when I will tell you to' as you roll your eyes and move towards the next door on your map. The fun and interesting parts in the story are few and far between.

Conclusion

The game has an insane amount of potential. It just needs a lot more polish and more thought into the design elements of the game. The gameplay loop could use a review. The combat needs a complete overhaul that caters more towards typing fast while remember the words you unlocked, removing the cooldowns or making them much short will be a great start. Currently the game to me is a 4 or 5 out of 10 because of the reasons mentioned above. With some more TLC it can be a 7 or 8.

Hi folks! Here i am again to get some ideas from you.
So, as GM i like to mess a little bit with my players, trick them. In the end, It seems those are the funniest situations not only for me, also for them when they finally figure It out.
On our next session they are gonna be forced to sleep open air in a dangerous jungle-like planet. The point is that the spot where they are going to camp it's full of plants which release a kind of spores that create paranoia. While they sleep they are going to suffer some nightmares about there's a traitor in their group. When they wake up, the players will receive a paper saying "you are calm, you are not a traitor". Cause in fact no one is betraying the group, just as i said, i want to play with them and make them suspect what is written on the other player's papers.
As you can see, i've already plenty figured out everything to this point. Where i would like to get some ideas is on the next step, to "solve" this situation.
I have a couple things in mind, but i would like to hear some more:
-one of them is to introduce a new NPC who is playing with their minds (a kind of shaman?), maybe just for fun or maybe to defeat them and take their belongings. This could end in many ways, making It a foe or even a new ally. If It ends in a combat, should the players have a debuff that gives them a chance to attack also the other members because of the paranoia?
-and another thought was to make this paranoia lasting during the campaign. Just to plant this Seed on them and watch how it evolves. Maybe until they figure It out or i'd have to stop It😅.
What are your thoughts about this? Some ideas? Maybe too much? Thank you in advice!

Setting: Homebrew world mirroring 1945, with the USA as the UNO (United Nations of Oberon) Location: An anti-magical prison on Alcatraz Island Current Party Level: 7 Current Party Composition: Paladin/Rogue 🛡️🗡️ Rogue/Warlock 🔮🗡️ Homebrewed Plant Summoner 🌱 Champion Fighter ⚔️ About the Campaign: Welcome to "The Rock," a gripping dark fantasy D&D campaign set in an alternate 1945. In this world, magic is real but heavily restricted within the confines of Alcatraz, an anti-magical prison. As an inmate locked up for at least two years, you must navigate the harsh prison life and the sinister happenings in the medical wing, where inmates are disappearing. To regain your magical abilities, you must find gaps in the anti-magic system, obtain magical pills, or discover stones that work beyond the system. Will you escape "The Rock" alive, or end up in a body bag?
Campaign Highlights:
Deep Role-Playing: Delve into your character's backstory and their intricate ties within the prison. Mystery & Intrigue: Uncover the dark secrets of the prison and decide your fate. Survival & Strategy: Navigate the treacherous environment, forge alliances, and strategize your escape. Magic Under Constraint: Find ways to circumvent the anti-magic measures and regain your powers. Character Creation:
Background: Your character has been incarcerated for at least two years. What was your crime? Were you framed, or are you innocent? Connections: Establish ties with gangs, prison guards, overseers, the Mafia, or grassroots activists. Motivation: What drives your character? Survival, revenge, redemption, or something else? Session Details:
Frequency: Every other Thursday Time: 9:30 pm EST to 12:30 am EST Duration: Campaign will run until level 14 How to Join: Briefly introduce yourself and your experience level with D&D. Let us know if you have any character ideas or preferences. Comment below or send me a direct message with your interest. We are looking for dedicated players who enjoy immersive storytelling, complex characters, and dark, challenging worlds. This campaign is perfect for those who love a blend of mystery, strategy, and survival. Ready to face the shadows of "The Rock"? Join us and see if you can make it out alive!

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

I sometimes read about things on reddit but never made an account. I don't know why but I thought maybe I would try to sign up and talk about some things. The thing is I don't know any of you, but I feel alone with my thoughts. I get lost in deep thought and just life. All the things in life. To give some background I believe in God, and I believe that Jesus Christ is my savior. I pray about these things but still I feel alone with my thoughts and feel like I can never talk to anyone else in fear of being judged and treated like some outcast. That is why I present myself as anonymous. I also want to say I know I am straight but am confused on why I do the things I do. Also, I would like this to be organized but I am not a good at making post look nice so sorry for the mess.
To begin things off I will be going into some really deep and personal things. Yes, I have an addiction to pornography. The past months I have made great strides to overcome it. I know it's a problem though when I can't go a week without it. The most I've been able to do is 4 days. I have been viewing it once or twice daily since at least I was around 13 years old. Once I had to access to it. I can't stress enough how tremendous of an addiction it is when I have really trained my body and mind to need it. To even say no to it is extremely hard and takes a lot of effort especially since how easy it is to view it. It's going to take some time to really overcome it. I wish I could just all the sudden not do it anymore and overnight change but it's not so simple.
I was introduced to pornography at a very young age I feel like. I was 6 years old when a neighborhood kid showed me what it was. Just like that it hooked me. Not so sudden but slowly it would wiggle its way in my life. I am going to say some things I truly hate that happened. I don't remember how it began but me and this neighborhood kid started to explore with each other. Even as kid I hated it. I felt great shame, but I did it because it produced good feelings and I wanted to keep feeling the pleasure. We did certain things, nothing like penetration but more of touching. I remember also we would tuck in our lips and pecked. It's hard for me to even type this out really. I think my mind has blocked a lot of things that happened between us in those moments.
I don't blame him for what we did. But I know this stuff that happened was his idea and I just went along with it because it did make me feel good things at that age and I wanted to keep replicating it. His dad was a drunk and his parents were divorced. His dad had porno movies on DVD. That is how the neighborhood kid got into it, I assume. We would reenact scenes from some of the porn videos we watched. Unfortunately, I acted like the female.
Being a straight male in my 20s I don't think anyone understands how severely this stuff has messed with my mind. Causing me confusion on if I could truly be gay or bisexual. I don't think I am because I don't practice gay things, nor do I watch gay porn. That being said, I slowly became more and more open to watching trans porn. At first, I was disgusted by it when I first learned of it. But when I got bored of, I guess normal porn I needed that "new high", something different and more in my mind, forbidden. Some of the acts I watched actually gave me enjoyment which really concerned me. I know what I am watching. Some things I still don't like. But I do get enjoyment when both the guy and the trans person have their parts touch and rub. I don't know why. I cannot watch the guy get pegged nor can I watch the guy suck the trans person off, those are huge turn offs for me.
The thing is me and that neighborhood kid did have our parts touch. I think that left some sort of impact in mind. That is the only explanation I have for how I can get enjoyment out of watching that certain act. Is it possible to be straight and somehow get enjoyment out of what is in my mind effectively a different version of gay porn? Because there are 2 dicks involved.
I love females very much. I love their bodies. I cannot describe it into words. I am very attracted to females. This alone for me confirms that I am not attracted to men. But then why am I getting enjoyment from trans porn? It is very confusing to me.
I hate that I have allowed myself to get addicted to porn. It has wired my brain in different ways. When I resist when my body wants to feel pleasure it's so powerful that I clench my hands into fist resisting the urge. It takes a lot of strength to say no. I don't know who can relate. Unfortunately, pornography has been a huge part of my life in secret. Basically no one knows how bad it is nor understand how much it has consumed me in a negative way. I feel alone. This fight seems unwinnable. I repent a lot. Sounding like a broken record. Like some drug addict going back to their old ways then asking for forgiveness again and again. It seems so pointless, but I still try to persevere. The past months I have had made great progress than I have ever in the how many of years of my life I've watched porn.
I hate that I did things with that neighborhood kid. I know we were kids but still I wish none of it happened. I don't hate him or blame him. We were kids, both victims of the evils of this world. To be exposed to these things at a young age. So messed up. I wish my heart and mind could be pure. I wish I had better self-control over my addiction.

After so many years seen so many memes so many references and “is that a JoJo reference “ jokes, I finally decided to watch everyone’s favorite show. A few disclaimers, im not an avid anime watcher, the shows i tend to like are serious ones, the ones that dont feel too much like and anime . I like the 80s and 90s style velont movies and shows, along with new Shows Like monster, attack on titan, berserk, parasyte the maxim, 91 days, death note and the such. So just seeing clips from the show it was apparent that i might not like it, it looked like a show that was trying its hardest to be wired and give as many memes as possible.
A few things more things in wanna say before I discuss what I think about the show now, I tried watching it before and I I just couldn’t finish the first episode, I physically cringed at character, designs, and style of the show and the British accent in 1800 style of speech. So I stopped and judged you all to be weirdos after a while later I tried reading the manga and I did first chapters, but I’m not much of a reader so I dropped it, but I found it interesting enough with aztec stuff in the mask to give the show another watch and after a year or so again decided to try to watch the show again on boring evening when I have nothing to do and nothing to watch and after a couple of beers, I thought it was finally time to sit down and appreciate what everybody loves.
Episode one : I’m Laughing my ass off because of the dialogue and how the characters acted. “ jojo was annoying and I really don’t like “naive goody two shoes heroic” type characters. Dio was annoying too, but it was the stagnant behavior that made him so punchable that i waited for someone to do it. But I continued, and First episode feels… honestly to me felt like a parody someone would do of another another show ,or how some people online make parodies and abridged versions of shows, or ti make fun of anime tropes. So i kinda came to the conclusion to treat this like a comedy show honestly, but In a way that its so bad that it’s good kind of way. But i pressed on. Second episode : I have to be honest, kind of grew on me I wanted to know what was gonna happen. Back on the silly dialogue little bit, and introduce interesting plot points, and my hatred for dio and seeing him get what he deserves and the mystery about the mask made me watch the full episode. And seeing you get the shit kick out of them was very very satisfying. At The end of the episode all I thought was fucking vampires???! This Shows about vampires?! L O L I was still Still laughing my ass off, but I was having fun (granted I had a few years before) and was intrigued intrigued to still watch whatever happens next. So i continued.
Episode 3: dio was discovered??! Alright the beginning didn’t go as i had thought it would, that made me realize i should expect plot twists and wxpect the story to go plaqsses i can’t predict, and honestly that made me glad, as it probably won’t be a boring watch anytime soon. The father’s death, now it might be the boos talking but i did feel a tear coming up as he said his last words. And again, FUCKING VAMPIRES?!! Lol. So after the corrny dialogue from everyone. the fight between them was pretty much plot armor and corny as well but surprised to see the narcissistic psychopath killed. in the end i was reassured that i have absolutely no ability to predict this show, as i have no idea where this story might go from here on. But damned be me i am invested! (I tried to sound the characters lol) but yeah even though i find it ridiculous, I’m having fun with it so far.
Episode 4,5 and 6: it really killed my enjoyment of the show, it was way too dramatic and just boring and generic imo. So i stopped.
In the end i don’t think the show is for me, i will continue watching it sometimes just have to be in the right mood, i will keep you updated if i do. But tell me your experience with the show and why you ether like and dislike it yourself, always fun yo see a different view from your own.

Mainly for the non linear time thing. I've watched Predestination, Memento, Triangle and a whole bunch of others. These two movies are unique and not that popular.
Flashback impressed me because of the idea it portrays. The main character basically unlocks the ability to experience time non linearly. Time is initially portrayed antagonistically, an "entity that forces us to perceive in a linear fashion", making us believe our choices have "inescapable outcomes". Like a prison for the mind. So Fred starts living "non linearly" (in quotes because he still experiences moment after moment, but relative to the normal timeline it's non linear), and while each moment connects to the other one, it's more of a spiritual connection of meaning rather than the classical narrative type flow of moments we experience. Naturally, the past and the future are no longer the same concept, he can experience them basically at will, just by directing his awareness. So he goes from moment to moment having a totally mindblowing experience because every moment of the linear timeline connect more meaningfully now.
At some point he stops this and returns a more grounded experience, like before. The movie shook me. To me, it shows the importance of a specific type of coherence in our experience of life. If there were no such narrative, existence would be hard to make sense of. Thus, time (btw Fred is seen with a Saturn logo on him) is not a prison for consciousness but rather a sort of kindergarten, an opportunity for the mind to grow and evolve in the midst of the chaos. At least for now, we seem like baby minds. Maybe we'll learn how to surf more non linearly.

This seems to be the number one critique of the game at the moment. It's killer fun for x amount of hours, and then it peters off somewhat, mostly because it becomes too easy in one way or another.
So, could we make a list of what it would take to make it a satisfying loop for a longer amount of time, or even endlessly (or close to endlessly)?
I'll start (with the obvious):
The government database
This is a given. It's simply way too easy to solve any case with the government database. I think the general idea is a feature that will make cases you are completely stuck on possible to finish, just to restart an unsatisfying loop. Which is perfectly fine as a concept. It just doesn't work in practice, because it invalidates most other features of the game by simply being too easy to access.
I think the idea could work if it was heavily gated. Imagine that in order to gain access you would take the elevator to the top of City Hall to the top enforcer brass. Here, you could ask to meet The Commissioner – which by the way is a nice way of introducing a variant of The Commissioner Gordon/Friend on the Force trope – who you could convince that all you need to catch the killer is access to the government database. Upon getting access, you'll have a free pass to do x amount of searches, and if/when you provide the correct name for the commissioner, you solve the case, but get no rewards (they're enforcers, after all.)
"I know him, he's me!"
A lot of times it seems borderline ridiculous how fast and loose the citizens are with information about themselves using "do you know this person?" dialogue. They can be entirely adamant about not revealing their name, until you show them a picture of themselves (simply inspect -> pin person -> do you know this person.) This makes sense if you have a lot of information, and you're sort of cornering them with a "you already know I know" proposition, but in a lot of cases, it just feels too easy; not to mention a bit strange. You go to a person, look them up and down, describe them to themselves, just after you've checked them out, and ask if you recognize the person you're describing?
A solution to this problem would be just to match their reluctance in all dialogue "trees", and to have a bit more stringent threshold in terms of the amount of information you need to corner them. Especially when it's about themselves.
Infinite memory
When you've played in the same city for a while, your character tends to basically know all there is to know about a substantial part of the populace. This can make cases trivial.
I suggest that the character should actually forget things over time. Gatekeep getting rewards behind closing cases, and let there be some forgetfulness algo that picks random details to disappear if they're not up on an active board. This seems pretty realistic, and it would stimulate people to use their own memory (and notes) to get ahead, if they want. An alternative that has been suggested elsewhere is being able to buy filing cabinets to put in your apartment, where all your previous cases/boards are. To remember things, they will have to be pinned in active boards. When the cases are closed, the boards will end up in your filing cabinet, where you can transfer information to an active case, if needed.
What are your biggest gripes regarding the longevity of Shadows of Doubt? What are your suggestions?

(M24) Hello everyone! Whether you’re reading this from a safe distance away from your breakup, or if it has just happened, please understand that I’m not going to give you the old advice to “GO OUTSIDE.” I’m going to keep it real.
We all know what it’s like—whether you’re the dumpee or the dumper, and in my case, I was the dumpee. We all entered our relationships with rosy-eyed lenses, making us ignore what was wrong until the pot exploded and we were faced with the actual outcome.
Just so you understand a little more about my connection to this piece I’m about to write, I will let you know a bit of what happened to me.
I met someone who I thought at the time was amazing and gorgeous. I’m sure all of you have felt that way before. As time went on, her mother didn’t like my job and that I wasn’t yet in my career of choice, having just graduated in video game design a year before the incident. I was insulted by her family, told I was nothing, that I was a loser and had no ambition. I tried my hardest to be with her, even after her mother placed a deadline on me. I fought through it because I loved my ex. I fought to find work as hard as I could. Then my ex started to insult me, told me I was nothing, I wasn’t husband material, and that she was on another level than me. When I found a job, it wasn’t enough. In the end, my ex left because I couldn’t buy her a home and her mother hated the fact I had a student loan.
Now, I know what you’re thinking… “WTF?” It’s okay. All things are better because today I’m going to share what I’ve learned from this situation and how to reel yourself out of a pit where you feel like you’re not worthy, where you feel like you’ve lost it all.

• Number 1: Even though it’s incredibly hard to do in the beginning, if you feel a pain so heavy you can’t function, you’re human. You were in love, and that part of you in pain is the care and hope you wanted to provide to your partner. Honor yourself for feeling your connection—honor yourself for the level of love you were willing to give. Keep it simple. Not everyone can love so strongly, yet here you are.
• Number 2: Reassess what you did. Ask yourself what you were proud of in that relationship and what you weren’t. Really be thorough. I learned that I was very anxious and had anxiety attacks a lot. Maybe you made a mistake, and it’s hard to forget, but remember the things hardest to forget are the strongest lessons learned. Your goal here is not to feel better. I know it’s crazy, but how can I expect you to feel better, especially if the breakup just happened or if it’s still on your mind every day? Instead, view it as learning who you are, changing who you are, taking responsibility for your shortcomings, and appreciating yourself for the things you did very well. Experience comes from taking responsibility for the things you aren’t willing to admit, but also the things you are proud of.
• Number 3: LOVE DOESN’T GO AWAY. Despite what happened, I love her. I had a connection to her, to always do my best for her. Think of love as clay. The love you feel is sculpted to resemble your partner, but as time goes on with no maintenance to the clay, the sculpture fades. Its sharp edges become smooth bevels, its most standout features erode over time, ultimately becoming something else, a blob if you will. But that clay doesn’t leave; it just lacks direction at this point. So, what if the clay started to resemble you? What if you took time after you’ve gone through what you did wrong and actually walked away improving yourself? I know hearing “work on yourself” is common advice, but no one tells you why. Imagine yourself learning how to cope with your insecurities, giving yourself the love and care you gave to your partner. You know you wouldn’t have given up on them, so why give up on yourself? Imagine yourself conquering your trials, much happier. What can negativity do to you if you’re proud of your trials? Seriously, ask yourself that question: what can bad moments do to a version of you that can’t be defeated by tough moments? All in all, that same blob of clay that was sculpted and molded to envision your love for your partner is now molded into strength for yourself. Love went from them and became love for you.
• Number 4: Listen. Simple, just listen. Listen to those who are always supporting you. I’m sure they know of your circumstance, but in their efforts to help you, take a moment to be a third person. More often than not, the support they give reflects the type of person they think you are. If they tell you to keep pushing and keep going, they know you are someone who can take hits and keep fighting. If they tell you “I know it hurts,” it’s because they trust you to be stronger. Support comes from connection, and connection comes from knowing. If you’re the type of person, like me, who struggles to understand yourself, just listen to those who are supporting you, for in their words to help, you may just see your true reflection.
• Number 5: PROTOTYPE. This is an interesting phase. With everything you’ve learned, what types of things would you like to do differently? What about your personality have you learned? Experiment with your mind, prototype your new personality, introduce new morals, and if they don’t fit, introduce new morals, new ideas, new hobbies! When you have a stronger sense of self, you know what experiments in your mind will lead to better results.
• Number 6: Execute. After all you’ve learned, after all you’ve observed, take command of your life, take your life BACK! Execute your plan to get better, and once you start doing things out of love for yourself, if you just give yourself even just six months of doing things that let you feel better and more accomplished, I promise you will see change. So, if a basic six months can make you feel better, imagine a whole year. Execute your plan.
• Number 7: The most important of all: PATIENCE. This is all going to take time. The ultimate advice I can give you, the only cure to a broken heart, is the one you make for yourself by refusing to be stuck where you are and delving into your life. There is not a one-day cure or a cool mental trick. Take your time, slow down, and remember this is going to make you better.

Whether you are a man or woman, I hope anything I’ve said here can help you out. Because we’re all different, maybe you will tweak these steps a bit, add your own meanings to them, add your own order, or just completely disagree and have your own way of doing things. Those are all perfectly valid. Heartbreak is heartbreak. I’d be damned if I didn’t share what helped me. Truth be told, I miss her, her smile, the way she made me feel like my life was finally together. I remember the best moments; they help steer the ship to better, but the bad moments add the wind to my sails!
You will find someone, you will be okay, and I’m rooting for all of you!
If you make it to the end please upvote this post, because someone somewhere out there needed to hear this today and if that's you, this is your sign things are going to be better, take it from someone whose going through the same thing as you, you're stronger than you realize.

So Weekly shonen magazine, the biggest rival to jump, just produced a new “hit”, Mayonaka heart tune, that just got a LCP. Lets look at its stats.
-Mayonaka Heart Tune 3 — 9,443 (12 day sales)
It has gotten an LCP by chapter 30 and is considered a new hit
Lets compare this to a recent similarly performing series in jump
-MamaYuyu 1 10,480 (10 days sales)
It got axed by chapter 30…..
Now obviously they have different standards, just being in jump gives you more exposure and jump cares a lot about toc and survey results, but still this is pretty funny. The same sales performance in jump that would nab you a LCP in WSM, gets you axed in jump.
So most here will be familiar with the minimum requirements for staying in the magazine at present. Its….
Weekly Shonen Jump
1.Sell at least 20-25k in volume sales for the first month (Roboco does 20k, kill blue does about 25k) Gag manga have slightly lower standards though.
2.Avoid the bottom 5 of the TOC for consecutive weeks. Unless there is editorial reason for being put low, or other promotional/magazine related reasons something is low.
Also, You can start at around 15k for volume 1 but you have to grow.
Obviously there are other contextual considerations like whats in the magazine, whats ending etc etc, but right now these are the general standards.
People call this harsh, but shonen jump has gotten more lenient of late. Regardless, this method has served it well… to generate a higher proportion of hits than most other magazine for a very long time.
Lets compare it to the second biggest shonen magazine though.
Weekly Shonen magazine.
1.Sell at least 7-10k in volume sales for the first month (Akabane Honeko no Bodyguard, yowayowa sensei and blue wolves of miba all sell less than 10k)
2.Avoid the bottom of the toc consecutively, but the requirements are less strict. WSM has more discretion with what they put at the bottom, with hajime no ippo and to your eternity put low at times just for editorial reasons.
WSM has more leeway for the mangakas, with break weeks very often, and has less stringent requirement for axing and gives them more time. It is still fairly strict and you will get axed eventually if you don’t perform.
So superficially, jumps method produces bigger hits, and magazines gives more leeway more the mangakas.
Let compare the hits each have produced in the last 4 years .since 2020 .
(This is by recent volume sales for the first month, not peak sales or total circulation. )
Shonen jump (numbers rounded)
Ruridragon 118,000
Sakamoto days (116,000)
Blue Box #12 (110.000)
Mashle (90,000)
Kagurabachi 2 (70,000 est)
Akane Banashi #8 (50,000)
Witch Watch #13 (45,000)
The Elusive Samurai #13 (40,000)
Undead Unluck #20 (30.000)
Nue's Exorcist #3 (30,000)
Kill Blue #4 (25,000)
Me and roboco (20,000)
Weekly Shonen magazine
Shangri-La Frontier #15 + Limited Edition (110.000)
Four Knights of the Apocalypse #14 (62.000)
A Couple of Cuckoos #19 (48.000)
Seitokai ni mo Ana wa Aru! #4 (48.000)
Megami no Café Terrace #12 (41.000)
Amagami-san Chi no Enmusubi #12 (31.000)
Gachiakuta #8 (27.000)
Medaka Kuroiwa Is Impervious to My Charms #12 (24.000)
Sentai Daishikkaku #12 (14.000)
Kanan-sama wa Akuma de Choroi #4 (14.000)
Mayonaka heart tune (10,000)
Yowayowa-sensei #4 (9.700)
Ao no Miburo #11 (8.300)
Akabane Honeko no Bodyguard #6 (6.000)
Observations
1.Jump produced 12 hits since 2020. Shonen Magazine 14. This is by their own standards though. 6 of the "hits" in magazine would have been axed in Jump...and perhaps more given the emphasis on the toc.
2.Jump had 37 axes in the same period, shonen magazine had 23 axes.
3.Even though the aggregate sales are higher for jump titles, the highest ceiling is similar. Shangri la vs ruridragon/sakamoto. Shangri la does have an anime though, which only gave a minimal boost.
4.Jump is still better at producing better selling titles more frequently. Magazine axe less and give more time and breaks to the mangakas.
What about series in other magazines?
Monthly Afternoon
Monthly afternoon is a seinen monthly magazine by kodansha, that values quality and gives a lot of time. They let series even with a few thousand sales, have a lot of time to build up an audience, which they eventually do. No idea what the internal process is, but my guess is that they also evaluate for quality on top of popularity.
Here is a series skip and loafer, that started with low sales, but is now critically acclaimed and selling pretty well with an anime.
Skip and loafer
Volume 1/ 2 068
Volume 5/ 8 914
Volume 8/ 28 766 /4 weeks
Volume 9/ 59 996 /6 — anime
Volume 10/ 74 262 /7
https://x.com/al_mavivi/status/1558278403664535552
This method of dealing with new series gives them more time to develop and find an audience. It may not produce as many big hits, but it works for the prestige brand they are trying to cultivate at afternoon and is doing a great job at it. They obviously introduce less and axe less, but that comes with the territory of more curation.
Obviously there are a lot more magazines to go through, shonen Sunday and champion, shoujo and josie magazines, but the post would get too long for all that. The general gist is almost all of them consider a few thousand sales good enough to start, and aren’t anywhere near as strict when it comes to voter survey results. And of course, they dont axe or introduce as many series as jump.
What I also think is interesting is that there seems a clear set of ways in how a magazine can configure their axe methods for different objectives.

1. Do you want to produce the biggest hits?
2. Do you care about quality and critical prestige?
3. Do you want to give the mangaka more lenience and breaks?
4. Do you want to give manga more time to develop an audience?

….
Jumps method prioritizes 1 , but considers 2
Magazines method prioritizes 1 , but considers 3
Afternoons method prioritizes 2, but considers 3, 4 and 1
What jump can learn from this?
The question people will ask of course, is why cant you do all 4? If someone figured that out, im sure they would do it. Problem is physical magazines have a finite set of slots, keeping something for too long prevents other things from being cycled in, which is why jump axes so much. People always wonder why jump don’t keep more than 20 titles in the magazine like other magazines. Other magazines do this where they have 25+ series, with a few taking breaks every few weeks. Jump only gives breaks to one piece, jjk and mha. But newbies could do with them too.
Also, others can also produce big hits, Blue lock was the biggest selling manga of last year, and it comes from magazine. Its stats early on
blue lock

1. 25k

5 ) 45k
20/ 197, 494
21/ 278, 301 — anime
22/ 346, 180
23/ 445, 253
Before that there were successes in other genres like Tokyo revengers, quintessential quintuplets etc.
Moreover, since the demographics of jump are changing, prioritizing quality on top of hits is also a good way of transiting into a new era. Look at monthly afternoons lineup after using its method.
https://x.com/al_mavivi/status/1607031535760203776

1. Blue Period 12 — 154 652
2. Land of the lustrous 11 — 133 430
3. Yakuza fiancé 6 — 121 598
4. Big Wind up 35 — 97 861
5. Vinland Saga 26 — 80 278
6. Skip and Loafer 10 — 74 262
7. Darwin Jihen 4 — 66 211
8. Heavenly delusion 8 — 31 926
9. Medalist 9 - 30,000

No massive hits by jump standards, but lots of high quality, award winning, solid selling series….with mangaka who are certainly treated way better.

Hello all,
I will cut to the chase. I've been friends with my guy bff since high school (M23/F21); however, we got a lot closer since we went to the same college across the country. Our close friends got into a relationship, so we third-wheeled together. I transferred back to our hometown, and we've been best friends long distance ever since. I've had a few romantic feelings here and there ever since I healed from my ex. I date other guys sometimes, but I don't feel as fulfilled as I am with him. He helped me heal my ideas of men and is a better friend than all of my girlfriends combined. He cares, is vulnerable to me, and never shames me for being myself.
Why I think he might like me:

• He sends me playlists
• He cooks me food and makes herbal tea blends for me
• He always asks how I'm feeling deep-down and has told me stuff he has never told anyone else.
• I met his family at a family gathering, and his parents thought I was pretty and asked me deep life questions.
• He says I'm his only friend or soulmate from time to time (He's spiritual, so that could mean anything)
• He never tells me how or when he flirts with girls. He once talked to a girl at a party but ensured I did not see them.
• He plans one on one friend hangouts (light watching the moon, picnics, flea markets, etc.)
• Sometimes, we have deep eye contact (which I could be overthinking about)
• Also, we've spoken about intimacy and lovemaking multiple times, and it didn't feel weird. It flowed.

Why I think he might not like me:

• He compliments but does not say it directly
• We never really touch (it's only platonic hugs)
• He introduces me as his friend
• We don't have the extreme sexual tension I usually prefer
• He currently lives across the country
• He hides his emotions about most things and has a hard relationship with his mother
• He doesn't seem jealous when I talk about other guys, but he has never really approved of them either.
• I complement him but he doesn’t really react.

Anyway, please tell me the truth. I don't know what to do or if I should say anything. I usually let guys approach first.

My (37f) ex husband (42M) was a serial cheater. He cheated many times during our entire marriage (7 years) and the last straw was when he was having an affair with his best friend's fiancé. After that, we got divorced and the other couple broke up. The best friend (40M) and I hung out some about a year after these events to share stories since we were the only ones that really fully knew what we were going through. We developed feelings, but ultimately decided nothing could go further because of the history as well as me not wanting to rush into a relationship that quickly. It has been 3 years since this happened. We hadn't spoken since (would have been too hard emotionally to stay in contact) and both have dated other people in this time. He reached out a couple of months ago asking how I was. Then we recently had a serious conversation laying everything out on the table about how we felt back then and now. Both of us have still thought about each other consistently since then and haven't found that same connection with anyone else.
I do have 2 elementary aged kids from my marriage that I have to think about. They do not remember him since they were so young and he wasn't around them often. I have not introduced them to anyone that I have dated and wouldn't even in this situation until I was sure there was a serious future (so who knows if it would end up coming to that).
My friends think I should go for it. They think he is a great guy and say that I deserve happiness. But am I asking for trouble/drama if we do this?? Is this a terrible idea? Will I regret not giving it a chance if I don't go for it? I'm torn and just seeing what people may think outside of the situation that I don't have a personal relationship with.
TLDR: My ex husband cheated on me with his best friend's fiancé. 4 years later, now the former best friend and I might date.

Today’s one page challenge is for The City in the Clouds by J.B. Williams. Finally, a requested challenge, rather than the usual cycle of me finding a story and the person being triggered that I did so. At 234 pages and a whopping price tag of $20.99 for a paperback, it’s a wonder why it looks untouched. Flip some burgers for an hour to pay for this… whatever it is. I was told the editor is good, so let’s see how he gummed up the works.
The rules of the one page challenge are simple: I go through the first page of the book(about 300 words or 3 paragraphs) and say where the average reader would stop. These reviews are short, sweet, and to the point (unlike most of these books). The main things we look for are things like tension, a hint at the plot existing, good feng shui, a feeling like the blurb is accurate, a lack of obfuscation, and the story fulfilling its role as a story. As we go along, I’ll explain why readers love or hate certain elements and we’ll see what straws break the camel’s back.
The title, The City in the Clouds, makes me think of fantasy, but it’s meant to be sci-fi. Clouds symbolize knowledge beyond our reach or something like daydreaming, treated as water in air(mystery in knowledge). Saying the title this way makes it seem like the focus is the city itself, which would be cool if it was something like a dystopian or utopian story. Maybe a tech noir or detective story, but… it’s not. This story is actually about a woman, and it’s a comedy, completely conflicting with the genre in two ways.
I didn’t want to say this but Huston… we’re already having problems.
The ebook cover is a drawing of curly haired woman staring at the camera like she’s constipated, while the paperback version is of an anime girl holding a gun and looking like she has diarrhea. Both versions have her in a suit, with a giant gas planet behind her. Both have similar fonts for the title and name, but the ebook version is so blurred and darkened that it reads like a secret message; the physical version being slightly less blurry. If I saw this on a shelf, I wouldn’t recognize this as a book or know what it was called. I find it strange because the back of the book is very clear, given a blue box for clarity, and has a sun with a red sky that would have made more sense than these frumpy women.
I guess the title and name are made illegible because we’re supposed to zoom our eyes straight to the blurb:

Robin Alia Brook is considered a loser. She works at customer service for one of the largest companies in humanity's interstellar empire, gets stood up on dates, and accidentally kills people. Then when her ex-online boyfriend gives her the winning vacation lottery ticket to the famed habitat, The City of Clouds, she reluctantly accepts it.
Upon arrival, she is greeted by the massive, beautiful gas giant Bellona, and all the glamour and prospects of expansion for the famous habitat. And it is the beginning of a celebration, too! For the election of the new habitat captain! But the celebration and vacation are ruined when pirates attack, seeking the captain's riches.
They are ruthless, they are bloodthirsty, and they won't stop until they get what they want. Unfortunately for the pirates, Robin is really good at accidentally killing people, and with her is a rag tag team of a pilot recruit, an egotistical journalist, a veteran photographer, and the captain himself.
It will be a long battle for The City of Clouds, and the outcome is unknown, but one thing is certain... This is the worst vacation ever.

Slight grammar issues here and there, but most wouldn’t notice that “ex-online boyfriend” would mean the boyfriend was online and not anymore. The delivery is a little bouncy, almost appropriate, but doesn’t give much tone from how much info it tries to cram in. Something I noticed is that very little sci-fi is mentioned, with the only thing giving a sci-fi vibe being the idea of traveling to another planet. If this was a vacation to an island, very little would change from how it’s described. Like the title and name on the cover, a lot of what makes this book a book is hidden from us, in plain sight.
At this point, the average reader would probably not give it a shot, unless the idea of pirates and an ironic Die Hard premise is their cup of tea.
No prologue, no maps, no glossary, just a simple chapter 1 to greet us. Ok, I’m liking this already. I know this is a small thing, but the simplicity of just starting a story is a blessing that should be the norm, and isn’t. I haven’t read a single word and this is already the best OPC so far. Yes, it’s that easy.
Don’t ruin the experience with all your fancy try-hard nonsense and the reader will be in hog heaven.
We are told the planet, sector, system, and date. Very effective in establishing the sci-fi element in this single aside, which also lets us know it’s 400 years in the future. The planet is named Andromeda, which is a well known galaxy, so if this is in that galaxy, I assume it’s going for a “New York, New York” type of gag. The editor did a good job, with the first page establishing a scene in a restaurant. What he messed up on was… everything that’s not the scene itself, which makes up 90% of the words.
The protagonist, Robin Alia Brook has her day off described as “shot in the face”, being delivered in present tense and this has it come out awkwardly. I say this because the second sentence is past tense, then it shifts back to present, back to past. This is why people stick with past tense to avoid the headache, and present tense is now used as a hipster novelty to act as if things are more important because they’re happening as they’re written. Most readers just find it as a distraction and it causes something niche to become more niche in the process. The first paragraph ends with us being told that she’s in a restaurant that is 500 feet under the sea, of a planet called Andromeda.
She is to be dining, but she is NOT dining because her date didn’t show. Cue the audience gasping, because this is a travesty. The part that really kills this opening is the sentence “She is currently obtaining nutrients through Poseidon's generous supply of free lemons water and cheesy garlic biscuits.” This was the perfect chance for worldbuilding, to express something futuristic and fresh. Instead, it tied itself to Earth, talked about mundane food like lemon water, and it didn’t use any of these for a punchline.
This is meant to be a comedy, but is absent of comedy. We don’t need a bunch of humor in the first paragraph, but we do expect a comedy to present a tone that can lead to humor occurring. Every scene for a comedy is a setup for gags and punchlines. Much like horror, the scene is built around the mood, which is brought to a peak around half way. The introduction of a comedy book is going to hold a joke in relation to the entire book.
I believe the blurb when it says this Robin character can kill things by accident, because this book dies right after she’s introduced, around the second paragraph. The third paragraph changes the subject to be about other people in the restaurant, acting as a distraction that leads to infodumps of Robin’s outfit and such. I understand that the “joke” is that this woman is stood up on her date and we are to feel her anguish, but the reader shouldn’t be suffering through the opening this soon. Starting here is either far too late or far too soon. If anything, this is something I expect in chapter 2 or something we hear about as she’s on her way to Bellona.
A good way to put it is that this scene is a non-sequitur done in order to give fashion statements, with the important exposition ignored for window dressing.
The average reader needs tension to get sunk into a sci-fi story, because this is a planet we don’t know about with a character we’ve never seen before. What is the point of having this restaurant so deep underwater? There is a city underwater? She has a job, but where does she work? At the Krusty Krab?
Non-sequitur is a distraction that removes us from the scene and the plot to explain things that don’t serve a purpose to either. If I changed the first sentence to only hold what was part of the scene, it would be the characters name and nothing more. To strengthen an opening like this, we would have to set it up for a punchline, reinforce the sardonic tone, and tie the scene with the situation. The first sentence would go like:

Five hundred feet below the sea’s surface, Robin could not stop drinking.

This will give the impression that she’s getting drunk, while attaching her drinking to the sea outside, giving the impression that she’s drowning. But even then, I wouldn’t start here, I would begin with a comedic amount of assurance that she’s going to have her date show up, then the next scene is her waiting with this. That, or I would have her doing the walk of shame, allowing the plot to begin sooner when she gets her golden ticket, which would be like:

The ocean floor outside was slowly swallowed by darkness as the elevator pod took Robin away from Poseidon.

Here, we have a moment for her to think back to the situation, and the word “darkness” gives hint to her current feeling about the restaurant. This is a setup for the punchline that follows, already skipping the failed date and able to move forward to the poster she sees in the elevator. Movies tend to do this type of exposition with the main character telling the situation to another person, who is helpless to escape. That can add more humor and make the main character express their personality quirks. The goal is for less opening to be used up for non-sequitur and to focus it on moving forward in relation to the plot.
For a story like this, the rejection comes from a lack of being straightforward. We can always fix up a sentence and how it sounds, but this doesn’t mean much when the bones are disjointed. Thankfully, for this one, a lot of readers are used to openings like this from online serials, so there is hope that a lot of it will get a pass. It’s that first hump that it has to get over in order to shine. Sadly, for little Robin, that hump was not achieved, so her journey through the city in the cloud might as well not exist.

Here's my notes throughout the Google Marketing Live. Some stuff may be omitted and I phrased everything how they would have in the presentation (overly positive).

Google Marketing Live 2024

~Philipp Schindler – Introduction~
New era of AI
-A few years ago the conversation was: What is AI?
-Now the question is: What can AI do for me and how can I implement it as fast as possible?

15% of searches are new on Google every day
-This number has held steady for more than a decade
“The perfect search engine should understand exactly what you mean and give you back exactly what you need.”

AI Overviews

• People who use AI Overviews use search more
• Higher quality clicks/more time on site
• Rolling out to US

Trend 1 – The “Exactly-What-I-Want” search
The volume of searches with 5 or more words grew 1.5x as fast

• Instead of “men’s running shoes”
• “how to pick the right running shoes for a runner beginner with high arches”

Trend 2 – Complex Search Made Easy
“What are good options for aa day out in dallas for kids? What are some options with ice cream shops nearby?”

Trend 3 – Search Beyond Words

• Search for things that are difficult to describe.
• 12 billion visual searches a month using lens
• 1 in 4 visual searches has commercial intent
• You will soon be able to search with visual

Circle to Search
Search anything on your screen with just a circle, highlight, or tap.

Trend 4 – Beyond Answers
Some people are not looking for answer, they are looking to explore, or be inspired.

• “Outfit Ideas”
• “Best Places to Eat with Kids”
• “Rainy Day Activities”

Rather than just getting a simple AI response, they will be getting a catered ai page specifically created for their request.

Small YouTube Blurb

• YouTube #1 most watched streaming platform
• 1B hours of YouTube on CTV daily
• Generative AI is the next playground for YouTube creators

Gen AI x Creativity

• Suite of tools for content creators

~Vidhya Srinivasan~
People have limitless options to browse across devices

• 2 out of 3 consumers say making purchase decisions requires more effort than ever
• Have to be on every surface consumers touch
  • Grab their attention
  • Show them you are their solution
• Google is supposed to be the matchmaker for consumers and businesses
• Showing the perfect ad on every surface is difficult

“This is where Gen AI will unlock enormous opportunities”

• Last year they were just getting started with images
• They’re applying the latest Gemini models to teach their other models
  • EX: teaching their algorithm about queries that have never been seen before
• Gen AI is still early-stage tech so they won’t get everything right
• Will become more powerful and helpful as they learn about your business

AI will influence the entire marketing cycle

• Creative
  • Building creative will only take days/hours
  • AI will draw on hero assets and create variations
  • Every ad will be a better match for each consumer’s intent in the moment
• Media
  • No trade-offs between precise targeting and growth
• Measurement
  • Real-time adjustments based on campaign results

"AI doesn’t have taste, it doesn’t have ingenuity, creativity, and strategic insights"

Google Search – Generative AI

• Search in new ways
  • More complex questions
  • Searching with images
• AI overviews will appear in search results when they are particularly helpful beyond SERPs
  • They will be stay focused on sending valuable traffic to publishers and creative
• More choice leads to more opportunity for advertisers
• The will be testing search and shopping ads being integrated into AI overviews
  • Not just above or below
• Match the ads, not just to query context, but also with the information within the AI overview
  • Example: “How do I get wrinkles out of my clothes without an iron”
    • AI overview gives tips
    • Within the AI generated blurb, a wrinkle free spray sponsored ad appears

~Sylvanus Bent~
AI Applications in Search Ads

• Ads in Visual Search
  • EX: You see a piece of luggage at the airport you love, but you don’t know how to describe it or what brand it is. Use visual lens to search for it, then sponsored product ads will show up within the results
• Every search ad is more than an offer, it’s an experience
• Exploring AI ads with recommendations across different verticles
  • EX: Search for “short term storage” – ad shows up, but now you can click into a new dynamic ad experience, where you can customize your needs.
• Takes the definition of a helpful ad to the next level

Conversational Experience in Google Ads

• Can give your URL to Google Ads to generate relevant assets
  • Helpful for smaller businesses

Power Pair

• Combination of Search and Performance Max campaigns
• Delivers the strongest ROI

Profit Optimization

• Making it a new goal in PMAX and shopping campaigns
• Maximize profit by optimizing bidding for gross profit on products

~Tim Frank – Asset Generation~
Advertisers who improve their PMAX ad strength to Excellent see 6% more conversions on average.

Creative Controls & Customization

• Brand Colors
• Brand Fonts – only closely matched
• Upload reference images for AI to generate based on

Additional Reporting & Controls

• Placement reporting and exclusions for YouTube
• Asset Level Reporting
  • Asset reporting for each creative asset

~Nicky Rettke – YouTube~
AI-Powered Video Campaigns

• Video Reach drive awareness
• Video View drive consideration
• Introduced Demand Gen
  • Reaches over 3 billion monthly users
  • Demand Gen will roll out to Display and Video 360 and Search Ads 360
  • Audience list threshold lowered to 100 users for Demand Gen lookalike audiences
• Over 40% increase in view through rate when utilizing vertical video
• Viewers can swipe left on shorts ads to go directly to a landing page
• Introducing animated image ads
  • Pulls images from your product feed and animates them in on unite
• Demand Gen with Product feeds
  • 33% more conversions at a similar CPA
• Shop while you watch

~Matt Madrigal – Shopping~
Product Studio

• Create custom scenes
• Change backdrops
• 2 new features
  • Create visuals that match brand style w/ reference image
  • Image to video
• Brand profile on search
  • To be rolled out in the coming months

Shopping Ads

• Will start highlighting key attributes and stuff from reviews
• 3D shopping ad formats
• Immersive Ad Experiences
• Virtual Try-On
• Video Highlights
  • Rolling out for beauty brands first

~Gaurav Bhaya – The Data Guy~
Good AI requires good data

• First party data delivers better results and helps protect your campaigns against privacy changes
• Collect, protect, and use your data.
• Google Ads Data Manager is now available to everyone
• Simplifies putting first-party management all in one place
• Have an active pipeline from all data sources to one place
• Measurement diagnostics is being introduced to Google Ads
  • Check Engine Light for your site
• Google’s goal is for us to not have to worry about first-party data

Measurement

• Generated Insights and Reports
• Generate a report with a prompt.
• Generated insights

Marketing Mix Models
Meridian is Google’s Open Source MMM and will be available later this year.
tl;dr - very tasty nothing burger.

I'm working on a fantasy novel based on Norse mythology. I don't think I've done anything crazy, but a decent amount of character names and place names are Norse. Some of them have accent marks or non-intuitive pronunciation. My current plan is to include pronunciation guides as footnotes on the page where the place/character is introduced. Is this jarring?
Also, how much should I anglicize? Letters like ð are probably not the best idea, but what about something like ö? Should I just give up on correct pronunciation and spelling?

I apologize in advance for the length of this thread, but by far this is the user that wrote the most comments in the video of our song. At first, he suggested Scepter and Reign, but he debunked this lead by saying: "Scepter and Reign can be crossed off. I have been corresponding with the lady whose name is mentioned in the legal document, Naomi (first name used with her permission, and only her first name) since Thursday. She was legitimately shocked her name was on the document because in all these years NOBODY ever contacted her regarding it. She thinks they may have realized how much money it would cost and probably withdrew. She knew both bands fairly well, scale of 1-10 she answered "6.5 maybe 7'ish". She designed 1 "logo" for each band that was literally just a sketch she made with their band names on them she could print out in the Xerox store she worked at. Scepter's original name was actually "Dungeon Master" but they changed it to fit their name on her design. As for the abandoned demo from Scepter, she said they abandoned it because they couldn't afford to produce it. They didn't even make it far enough to name their 3 or 4 songs. So, on to the big question, are either bands involved with this song? According to her both bands came out in 1985, and according to her this "The Falling King" song predates both bands by a year or 2. This is not Scepter or Reign, this song is older than both bands. According to her, she first heard this song on a Detroit station while visiting family. Even back then, the Detroit station personnel had absolutely NO CLUE who this was. She remembers her father making fun of the singers accent claiming it was a "Posh" accent and also used to think the lyric was "The fall, the fall in the king" lol. I explained how this song was recorded off of several stations in 1987 and she replied "How many songs do you hear on the radio that are several years old?". She was stumped this was played on Z-Rock because this does not sound like an amateur band to her. She is not the only person to make comments that this does not sound like an amateur band, this sounds professionally recorded and produced, something EXTREMELY few amateugarage bands could have done. I thought i had something, but at least i tried. By the way, apparently Reign still performs in the Pittsburgh area under the name "Metallic Thunder"." (THIS IS HIS LATEST COMMENT) If this is true, it means our search will be even more difficult.
In one of his earliest comments he said this: "My 2 oldest sisters (born in 1970 and 1972) actually remember this song being played by garage bands and local talents in the Coatesville PA area. However, they both swear on mom and dads ashes that the first time they heard this song, a local music festival in Exton PA, I was NOT born yet (I was born in 1984). Even back then nobody could say who it was or what the title was. In fact the one band from Downingtown PA used to refer to it as "The Dungeons and Dragons song". And by that i mean, according to my sisters the lead singers girlfriend (or his sister....they could never tell?) would be in the crowd and when they were ready to end their performance she would shout "Play the Dungeons and Dragons song". My sisters also remember the adults thinking this song was somehow a promotional thing for the PA Renaissance Fair. Unfortunately they cannot offer any clues to the identity of this band or songs title, their guess, back then and still today, was Manowar."
At first, he claims our band is Manowar, explaining: "I do not think Manowar is an obscure band, nor do my sisters. The "obscure" bands mentioned in my postings are all the local garage/amateur bands that they remember playing this song and most of those garage/amateur bands even back then, along with my sisters, were under the impression this was a Manowar song. Many people, not just on this post but others feel this is Manowar "pitch" song, other bands thrown around have been Iron Maiden, Overdrive (Or Overkill, i'm not sure if it's the same band?), Blackmane, Axis and Cirith Ungol (spelling?). Keep this in mind, it's not that uncommon for mainstream/well known bands to have unreleased music in their "library". A good example, ask the most diehard Rammstein fans what their first song ever was, they'll probably answer Du Recht So Gut or Rammstein. Most people have never heard their 1992-1993 pitch song, "Tier" (Monster, beast). In fact, Till Linderman himself stated in 2018 he was unaware Tier was ever recorded by anyone, yet alone put up on the internet. Like this "Fall of the King" song, "Tier" was toted as an mystery song for years but was in a group of 4 or 5 other songs that Rammstein did but never released. One of my favorite bands, Corvus Corax, actually had something similar happen, a song they did back in the early 90's, "Vampire", opening for another band was recorded by a fan in the audience and made rounds on the Neo Folk community ages later. Corvus Corax themselves heard it on a radio station in Denmark roughly 2009'ish and called them asking how and when they got that song because they NEVER recorded it for public use. Personally i cannot give a wager who this is? I am not that good with this genre so i go with what people older than me and much better with this music say. To me it could be Manowar, something they never intended to be released publicly, it could be the Z'Rose a bunch of people feel it is, it could be Overdrive/Overkill (i do not know if these names are the same band or 2 separate ones?), it could be me time traveling impersonating my great uncle Fred......ok that last one was just meant to be a joke lol." Then someone says: "has your sister contacted erik to see about the the song?" and he says "OH HELL NO!!! They haven't spoken since they broke up in 1991-1992. I did reach out to his brother probably a year ago and never heard back."
He suggests it's either Manowar or Sarissa (he mispelled them): "@aSome1 There's some confusion, my sisters never said Z'Rose was playing the song in our hometown area. Local teenage to early college yrs bands were playing it. They recognized this song when I was on a family Zoom chat, i had this song on in the background (by accident actually lol) and my oldest sister (#1 born in '70) asked what i was listening to. I turned it up and she shook her head and asked the other sister (#2 born in '72) "Oh my gosh isn't that that stupid Manowar song Erik and his brother used to play all the time?". Erik was the name of her high school boyfriend. They remember hearing it first at an amateur music fest when my brother (born in '82) was still a baby. Mainly they remember mom fitting all of them in her old "Batmobile" station wagon. By the time i was born in '84 that station wagon was gone for at least several months. The band names they specifically remember playing this, and keep in mind these were "Garage bands" from the 80's were: Venomous Vomit, Razors in your Coffee (Erik's band), Ash to Ash, Cauldron Kings, Coven of Metal, Pridesville, South of Hell and Purgatory. They said there were a few more, but didn't remember....or care....to know their names. (Disclaimer: Several peoples associated with those mentioned bands have been contacted by me and several have replied.....the most common reply is "How the hell do you know us!?" lol)
"I have actually been looking at this song for almost 3yrs. I've had some "good leads" and some "bad leads" and i've also had "WTF leads".......but at the end it is still unsolved. So far the biggest contenders, from people way better with this music than me (I'm more a symphonic or extreme metal person) have been: Manowar, Iron Maiden, OverDrive, Overkill, Onslaught of Destruction and Sonic Mahem. My sisters really believe it is possibly an unreleased or "pitch demo" of Manowar but they also said it might be a Greek band from the early 80's called Sarassa or something like that?"
Then he denies it's Z-Rose: "@lostwavefinder587 I have seen that name tossed around a lot on forums and random chats (this being one of them). Most people way smarter and better with this music than myself seem to have the opinion that it is not Z'Rose. They range in reason from: the equipment sound professional and they were not, the dates don't add up, Z'Rose only did covers so even it is them in the recordings it's still not their song.....one individual (a supervisor at work who lived in Texas during this time frame) actually said "Z'Rose wouldn't have been sober enough to finish that song". I have only heard 1 Z'Rose recording, and unfortunately the person who recorded it (I think the date says 1989?) spends the majority of the 5 minute video talking during the performance so all i hear is them and not the singer. I have to emphasize about %99 of this info i'm presenting is NOT from me but people who know this genre of music way better than me....i'm more Symphonic metal and neo folk (Corvus Corax, Heilung, Faun etc."
"Out of curiosity, since a lot people think this might be Z'Rose, has anyone contacted the family/families of Nick or Joe Cavazos? My "team" is looking into a blog page from 2018 of a pretty intense exchange between a blogger and a woman who is believed to be "Rocker Joe's daughter. In this exchange she states this song is NOT her dad and uncle's band. But it gets pretty rough because the blogger keeps pressing and let's just say some NSFW language is exchanged. I will only say this, the woman's name does match one of the names in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary, but they can't tell if it is actually HER or someone posing. I also find it interesting that in another posting of this song someone is claiming to be the nephew of both Nick and Joe.....but about a dozen people ask about this song and he does not answer them......but someone else will ask something unrelated to this song and he answers??"
"About a year ago on another posting of this song, someone had a link to a conversation with a woman who was allegedly Joe Cavazos daughter. She very adamantly denied this was her dads band, Z'Rose. They person kept pressing her and she did not budge a single inch, "NO, its not my dad's band". The only thing that could be confirmed was the woman's name did match a name in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary as his daughter. But if it was her or not I can't say? Many peoples on other postings and on forums have all claimed to have gotten in contact with Z'Rose and stated they responded "No" to this being theirs.
So the "Kings Fall" song by Bernard Cavazos is actually a completely different song. He is also not related to the Z'Rose Cavazos. Somewhere I read that the "Kings Fall"/"Fallen King" song by Bernard Cavazos is about a corrupt politician or mafia like "king" not an actual king. Again none of this is from me, it's from things I read, not me.
When 'Wang' did a video about several mystery songs he included this one. In his video (I don't know if he made more than one?) he talked about how that Bernard Cavazos has been contacted and has denied this is his Fall of the King song. If my memory is correct Wang read a message from him explaining his "king" was a corrupt politician or gang leader like king. Wang also mentioned there was another Bernard Cavazos who was a doctor and he is sick and tired of people contacting him about this song"
Someone that replied to him said:
"@CharlesMarkward probably this tape recording was an attempt from them to make something of their own, many bands have started this way, an example is the Brazilian power metal band Angra, they were first meant to be an Iron Maiden tribute but as things went by, they have decided to release things of their own...I couldn't find anything about this "Z'Rose" band in metal-archives, neither at Google with a simple research, but the data gathered until this moment make sense: the Z Rock radio is from Texas, the so called "Z'Rose" band is also from Texas, it was the 80's, so, without internet, this was the way bands used to promote their work...but your story adds some drifts from this sensible data available until now...they are/were from Texas, ok...but until then, they weren't any big group, which means they were probably 9 to 5 salarymen whose musician activity was on weekends and the money earned wasn't enough to keep up with, so, a trip from TX to PA is a long ranged one and expensive for their then standards, I can remember when I've read the Mick Wall's Metallica biography, in which they highlight how hard was for them to go all the way from CA to NY to record Kill em' All, well, unless someone sponsored the so called "Z'Rose from Texas" (like the Zazula couple to Metallica) to play in the events you've mentioned in PA...which means they were good and had potential (this "mysterious recording" doesn't let me lie), because it takes a lot for someone at the other eastern extreme of a big country like the USA to call someone all the way from TX to play in an event when probably there were good bands around and without the need of a sponsorship to travel and get some place to sleep and eat..."
Therefore Charles says: "Also, i am not the one saying it's not them. People much better with much more access to metal archives/records are saying it's not them. BUT, everything you said makes perfect sense to me and I have no argument against any of it. It would make perfect sense if it was a possible pitch demo Z'Rose recorded and kept along for a few years before a station played it. My sisters are %98 certain it was a Manowar song, the only other band they mentioned as a possibility is a Greek band i can't find anything about called something like Sarassa??"
Someone told him to contact Erik: "A little bit ago someone in here suggested i contact my sisters ex and ask where he got this song. I could not get a hold of him, but i did get in contact with his brother he played with. According to the brother they got the song from their aunt who lived in Philly (Center City) and would send them tapes of songs to play. This song was on a tape sandwiched between "4 or 5" Manowar songs. He specifically remembered this for 2 reasons: 1, their aunt wrote "Killing of the king by No Name" and 2, the last song on the this tape was labled as a Venom song (he did not recall which) but was actually "Melody of Love" by Bobby Vinton😂. So i think this is why my sisters keep saying it's Manowar, because if it was on a tape with a bunch of their songs that chances are they heard a crapload of times?"
He contacted Erik's brother (Erik is supposedly the ex boyfriend of one of his sisters) and received this reply: "Erik's brother returned another email I sent about this song. I made a post about it about a week ago. The brother says their aunt who lived in Philly included this song on a mix tape of stuff for him and his brother to play. This song was sandwiched between several Manowar songs and the last song on the tape was supposed to be a Venom song but was actually Bobby Vinton's "Melody of Love" 🤣"
Therefore debunking the possibility it's a Manowar song, he also adds: "She (the aunt) passed in 2014. She would record songs off the radio for them. She lived in Philly (Center City) but also had a place in Florida, so he was never sure which cities radio stations she would record from. This song she wrote "Killing the King?" As the title and "???" as the band name, but it was between several Manowar songs. I think this might be why my oldest sisters are so insistent this is a Manowar song because they may have listened to it with Erik and his brother.....it's a theory lol"
He also thought of Iced Earth as the possible band: "lostwavefinder587 I immediately thought of Iced Earth when I heard this song. Although it's likely just a coincidence, it's interesting to note that Iced Earth was originally called "The Rose".
Someone said to him: "if that's any help, the Greek band's name you're talking about is probably Sarissa. I don't think it's them, though: the vox sound kinda different, and their songs are mostly Ancient Greece-themed." And he replied: "Yes, thank you! All this time I've been spelling it wrong. I gave a quick listen to a demo of theirs from '86. In terms of sound and beat and tempo etc, they are pretty close to this song. In terms of vocals, they sound nothing alike." Therefore, he debunked Sarissa himself.
Now here he changed his version and provides a new lead given by his sisters:
"Holy crap for some reason my last post got cut in half and didn't include the following info, sorry! So the individual i spoke to and got the new possible lead is the former singer of the one band my sisters mentioned, Purgatory, (i do NOT have his permission to use his real name but his stage name was Tarantula). He confirmed he played this song "once or twice" but didn't know the lyrics so they just repeated several "blocks" over and over again. He heard it from a band in NJ and when he asked if he could use the song they replied along the lines of "It's not our song, we don't care" but gave no indication who it was or they even knew who it was? He suggested the band "Knightmare" because they were from Texas and he remembers all of their songs being medieval or medieval fantasy related. Supposedly they wore what looked like full on plate armor (he does not know if it was actual metal armor or something made to look like it). He saw them perform a handful of times because he spent summers in Texas on his grandfathers (mistakenly said uncle in my last post, sorry) ranch and would sneak off at night to "the metal scene" (i do not know if that was a club name or if he just meant that in general?). He began visiting his grandfathers ranch in 1980 and stopped when his grandfather retired in 1992. He gave an estimated timeline for "Knightmare" of 1981-1989."
He corrects himself by saying they are not called "Knightmare": Interestingly, my supervisor at work lived in Texas during this timeline (roughly mid 70's to mid 90's from what i can gather?) and when I asked him about Knightmare he had no idea. But when i mentioned they dressed up like knights in armor he suddenly looked startled and said "That wasn't their name, their name was Battle Battalion or some s*** like that".
But then he says: "So i posted a few months ago about this song, my sisters remember garage bands in the area playing this… I checked every band called Knightmare on Metal Encyclopedia and it doesn’t look like it’s our band." "Forgive my French.....Damn. I thought maybe it could have been a lead but i guess like dozens of others I've come across, dead end. I did a quick search for Knightmare a few weeks ago and I got all excited i saw one band dressed up like monks or Druids, but that band only came out in 2017. I think it's safe to say the name has been used by many bands."
Then someone asks him: "Does the name "Battle Battalion" show up on any Metal "pedia" sites? That's what my supervisor claims this "dressed up in medieval armor" bands name was?" and another one told him: "I saw some bands with Battalion on the metal encyclopedia and discogs and none of them are our band. I don’t think we should go based on what a band wears as our lead."
Then he debunks the Knightmare (and the Conquest) lead: "So a little bit ago i mentioned a band name "Knightmare" as a possibility for this song. Well the band was actually called "KnyghtBlyde" (Knight Blade) and i got in contact with the daughter of the vocalist last night. I played this song for her and after some confliction/hesitation she said it is NOT her dad. The biggest thing was all of her dads songs were based of Aruthurian lore and filled with references to Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, Excalibur etc. Since this song has none of that, its not them. She has no idea who this is. I did a quick search "Conquest 80's metal band Texas" and found 3 results. Conquest from San Antonio, split in either '85 or '87. Conquest from Dallas, '86 - '90. Khan'quest (possibly same band as Khanquistador?), no location given but split up in '88 then reformed in 2000 then......nothing? I could not find anything about any of their songs or demos or releases or band members. But it's obvious I was thinking of the wrong Conquest bands 😂 Conquest was ruled out. Someone who owns the tape was contacted and told us this isn't them."
And he says the singer of KnyghtBlade is convinced this song is from Battallion:
"So a little bit ago I mentioned getting in contact with KnyghtBlyde singers daughter who states that this is NOT her dad. She contacted me this morning, her father thinks this song might be by a band called Battalion. But her father said Battalion also went by the name AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault (or Artillery) in their early days. According to her father AAA/Battalion were from Texas but at least 2 of their members were originally from Chicago. Has anyone ever heard of either Battalion or AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault? The closest I can say is my one supervisor at work mentioned a band Battle Battalion from Texas when he lived there."
Then someone replies to him: "you are right there is a band named Battalion formed in 1984" He says: "I cannot find a single piece of music from this particular "Battalion"? From what I could find they formed between 1983 and 1985, split, reformed under a few possible names, split, repeat. 2 people I asked did say they remember a band of some sort from "out west" Anti Aircraft A-something, but neither could give any info."
Now here, he suggests it could be a Talon song:
"So here's a potential lead for everyone: I was just playing this song for a friend who is obsessed with all metal music. She asked me "Where did you get that Talon song?" Talon was/is a German heavy metal band from the early 80's that released several demos and full on albums between '83-'89. Almost all of there songs were medieval themed, especially their 2 demos. Herr's the thing, they supposedly have 3 unnamed tracks from both demos, one allegedly called "King Slayer". I listened to a bunch of there songs and I have to say there are several songs where the singer sounds exactly like our mystery singer, but then the next song they sound nothing alike. There was one song called something like "Execution" that the opening guitar sounds like this songs opening only slower? I'm not saying it is Talon, but it is possibly something to look into or at least consider?"
He also claimed the singer sounds like Bruce Dickinson (which has been suggested many times):
"I've said many times that I personally feel this vocalist sounds extremely close to Bruce Dickinson. There is a clip of Bruce singing Tom Jones' "Delilah" on either a talk or game show, and his opening of that song is nearly identical to this Fall of the King vocals! Tone, tempo, cadence, pitch......it's really really on spot. I am NOT saying it is Bruce, I'm just saying whoever it is does a good job singing like him."
He says this song could be made by Eviscerator:
"Hello again everyone, has anyone ever heard of a band from Britain, late 70's through late 80's called "Eviscerator"? Very very long story short: I played this song at a Viking/Pagan/Neo-Folk/Black Metal "bar" about half a mile up the road from my place and the one patron who looked like Elvira and Lilith Bathory had a daughter together (HOT HOT HOT) comes over and asked me to replay it and she sang along with the recording with about %95 accuracy! Oddly, at the end after the 4 or 5 "The Fall of the King"s, she suddenly sang "The evil one now wears the crown, all hail the evil one" and head banged for a few moments. According to her, this song was by a band called "Eviscerator" and they always claimed this song was written as a pitch track for the movie Heavy Metal? I mentioned how this song by numerous accounts was recorded here in the USA in 86-87 from stations in Texas, Chicago, Cleveland, NYC and (by only one account) possibly Florida. She didn't feel there was an issue with that as stations will often play random things just to fill the spot including songs that are several years older. I asked about her added line at the end and she stated "I didn't add s*** bud, whoever recorded it must have cut it off before they got to it". I mentioned how numerous people strongly believe this is the work of Z'Rose, she said they probably covered it a bunch of times but it is not their song and even stated that this particular recording sounds like it could be them covering. She was more familiar with Z'Rose than me, she commented "The 3 Cavlaros brothers from Texas right? The singer was the oldest brother Jeff?" (I know that's not their name, i only included it for aunthenticity per context of our discussion, the last name is Cavazos and there was only 2 of them right?). She also told me Z'Rose had about a dozen other names through their years including "Gypsy Rose". I asked how she knew this British band "Eviscerator" and she answered that she lived in London from 78-85 and this song was played a lot on "amateur hour" on several stations, especially university stations. This kind of took me by surprise because i thought she looked younger than me (I'm 39) but she lived in England for college and her first husband in the late 70's??"
"In my last comments i mentioned a bar i went to was going to have a mini concert featuring bands that specialize in black metal and 80's tribute metal and i would play this song to see if any of the band peoples or concert goers would chime in. I did just that and got a few hits on the radar with a few of the band members. The one band, Inviaat, the singer says he remembers this song being played on a radio station in Philly PA for an entire summer because that station was trying to find the band. He does not remember the specific station but said it was near the Taylor University campus (my understanding is that there is several?) because the station thought it was the students from that university's music program. When i asked him when exactly that would have been he said Summer of 1983 because he was married on Halloween 1983 and was hoping the station would find the band so they could play at his wedding. A member from the local band "inductus Mortis" said he recalls that song being played "somewhere in the mid 80's" but does not remember if he heard it in Chicago or Cleveland because he bounced between them. I asked several bands, include the Venom tribute band Poisonous Whisper if anyone had ever heard of a band name Eviscerator from the 80's. Only one person thought he heard the name but it wasn't a band name it was a compilation album of NWOBHM from roughly '83-'84, but couldn't tell me anything other than that. As for the other concert goers, the #1 response i got from them was along the lines of "Dude you can sing, you should go pro!".....in other words they thought it was me promoting myself (I wish i could sing like that!!). the #2 response was people thought it was Manowar. After those 2 the guesses were the usual ones i have seen here and everywhere else this topic comes up: Blackmaine, Axis, Overkill, Overdrive, Black Sabath, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Slayer, WitchAxe and 2 people even asked if it was an Ozzy Osbourne demo."
"I asked around, including my oldest sisters I've mentioned in my postings, about Eviscerator. The only person who heard of them, the one from this time-frame not the other 8 or 9 bands from the 2000's with that name, said they were a generic ManowaIron Maiden/Judas Priest tribute or more accurately, ripoff, band who sucked. I am not saying I buy this woman's account, but i'm also not discrediting it or calling her a liar. Her familiarity with this song and her accuracy with the lyrics makes me believe she knows this song from somewhere.....what that somewhere is, i can't comment because i don't know?"
"So far my friends and I have several "pings" to look into, the name Eviscerator has absolutely nothing from the time frame we're looking at. But there is (was?) a "Lee Lesaat" Canadian/British "mercenary" (did not belong to any band but would play for others) drummer who now lives in NYC my friends are looking into.
There is an 80's metal/black metal tribute concert this Saturday at the bar I was at last weekend. After the bands play their sets they have an open mic like set up where you can play your own music (as long as it fits the theme). I'm going to try and play this song and see if anyone, bands or crowd or food vendors etc, have any reaction.
And by "pings" I just mean responses/possible possible long shot leads. The guy or girl claiming to be a psychic vampire who time traveled and wrote this song for The Lost Boys movie is NOT going to be one of them😂"
Then someone asks: "What band is this Eviscerator ? I found a band that was formed in 2012 . Furthermore tthe song is not in the metal archives I searched through lyrics was not found." He says: "Allegedly they were in England in the 1980's, but the woman stated 2 of them had New York accents. If all of her account is true and accurate, they were NOT a professional big name band. I did find several bands with the title "Eviscerator" (in different variations) but all of them were from the 2000's. The only "pro" band with that title I could find was a Hungarian band from the mid 2000's. I asked Satanic lady if she remembered any of the other bands that played alongside "Eviscerator" and she only remembered 3: "Band-Shee" (an all female band....get it?) Gargoyle, and Werewolf Tears."
"I have a very very small update for everyone, but it's still an update nonetheless. The mystery succubus looking woman who said this song was by Eviscerator and sang along to it (even when I "accidentally" muted my phone to see if she was just repeating what she was hearing.....she was not) has been identified by my journalist friend! We are going to try and get in contact with her and see if there is anything else she can remember about "Eviscerator" that could help. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but her familiarity with this songs lyrics and the fact she sang almost in perfect synch with the beat makes me feel she really did know this song from somewhere in her past. That or she is a very good actress? Lol
I found only 1 solid, confirmed band with that name but they were from mid 2000's Hungary. But several peoples now and then tell me they remember hearing that name in the 80's as various things; crappy garage band, NWOHBM compilation album/work, some sort of event space or name, most recently someone claimed he thought it was the stage name of a singer but didn't know who or what band. I'm trying to get in touch with the woman who originally mentioned that name."
He posted this comment that lead nowhere: "2 very small updates for everyone:
1) The Viking/Pagan/Goth/Black Metal themed bar just around the corner from me is having a New Years event tomorrow night. They actually agree to give me a "booth" where i can have a "guess this song" set up. And, it will be right next to where the bands play...I'm going to be between the "stage" and the food truck lol
2) The one radio station i submitted this song to will play it on their "X hour" on 1/8/24. It is not a hugely popular segment, maybe a few hundred listeners, but it's better than nothing.
Here's to the New Year and hope this song and numerous others get solved!"
"So the station played this song Sunday night/Monday morning. They played it 4 times between 2:07am - 3:12am. They received 9 calls about it and about a dozen emails (I seriously didn't know they had an email!?!?!?). Unfortunately the majority of contacts were people either asking for them to replay it or people thinking it was Manowar. There were a few Iron Maidens and one or 2 Ozzy Osborne's. Only 2 people stated they heard this song before. Unfortunately they heard it from "some kilt wearing guy at blank bar plays it, I think it's him self promoting". Yes that's me they referenced and no it is not me singing lol"
He suggest matrixx as a possibility: "There's a band called matrixx that has been giving me interest. They were only around for two years due to financial struggles in their stage. If you look up attaxe and fiinal notice they share two members of matrixx. Their drummer and guitarist sound very similar to the band from this song. It's pretty crazy too because they have a song called defy the king. They also had a label to produce their songs which is called Suma Recording Studios. This may be the reason why the audio sounds too good for a small band. I hope that this is the band! Too many good clues that I found"
He debunks the Steven Lindfield lead: "One of the names thrown about here and there on posts about this song is a Steven Linfield ("Lindi") who bounced between Chicago and NYC in the 1980's. His alleged involvement varries between being the DJ who allegedly played it on a NYC station, to being a Chicago stations record manageclerk etc etc. I got in contact with him yesterday. He denies having ANYTHING to do with the airing of this song and does not know how or why his name came up. While he did work at 2 stations (NYC, then Chicago during the summer) he was an overnight watchman (security). However, he does recall this song being played on "some amateur hour crapshoot" in '86 in NYC a bunch of times. At that point in '86 he claims people were referencing it as "The King Song" or "The song of the King" (drawn out to match the singers "The Faaaalllll, the fall of the kiiiiiing") and it was already 2 or 3 years old at that time. He did explain that at least at the Chicago station there was an amateur drop-off slot that the dj's would pick through and play random "no namers" labeling them as "space filler". Because they would be played, literally just to fill space, they were NOT mandated to keep any records of them. Sometimes the dj's would just make up names to some of these. One of his main duties was to check the drop-off to make sure there were no bad things thrown in there instead of cassettes. Another dead end, but at least we rulled out one theory......silver lining??😂 LINDFIELD, not Linfield. Darn autocorrect on this phone."
He is convinced it's a professional band's demo: Thats why a lot people I have introduced to this song think it's a professional band, or at the extreme least an amateur band playing with top level equipment/sponsor? 1983 guy stated they sound like they have equipment his garage band "couldn't even afford to dream about looking at yet alone use". It's also one of the reasons my 2 oldest sisters insist this is a professional band (sister #1 says Manowar, #2 says Manowar or Sarissa) because there are no goofs or mistakes or errors. My sisters gave an example of a garage band from their Kutztown university days, "Freefall Abyss" that self released a demo and in one song you can hear a telephone ringing in the background and in another you can hear a fan or ac unit going.
He contacted a girl named Della: "This song was actually played on an old Philly/NJ station on the segment "Della names your tune" in 2009. I was able to get in contact with "Della" (real name withheld by her request) who at first stated "I played thousands of unnamed songs bud, I probably played this one 100 times, sorry i wont be much help" . Then a few days later replied "I do recall this one, it was sent in from a local listener who had it labeled as Dungeon Master or maybe Dragon Master on a CD with a bunch of old early Manowar, JudaPriest, Iron Maiden, Megadead, Metallica and AngelWitch songs. He or she claimed their father had this song on a tape from his college days. Nobody knew what or who it was back in '09 or '10 and as far as I know nobody figured it out when I left the program in '15." The only name she gave, and I don't know if this was even a real name or the drummers "stage name" was Leopald Lestat.........I do have 2 people looking into it (from a metal dating site of all places). Disclaimer: I know some of those bands are misspelled, I purposefully left it that way because that's how she sent it to me."
"I went down that road, you nailed it right on the head. There is no way to track down who that listener was. The only hint she had, in the form of the note attached to the CD was the person said they were from Radnor PA. I couldn't tell you because the other songs kind of bounce around in terms of year: there's a Judas Priest and an Angel Witch song both from 1980 but then there's a song from Megadeath (I believe Megadeath came out in '85?) and a Metallica song from '86? For some reason my one comment didn't show up? Della gave a pretty big hint, she said the mailing address on the CD was from Radnor PA, but the phone number included was a landline for a Chicago address. Her and the station managers assumed it was a "shadow number" and didn't bother keeping record of it. A lot of her requests had local addresses with out of state phone numbers, cellular and landline."
He suggests Dungeon Masters: "I have a potential lead, "Dungeon Masters" from Pittsburgh PA? Long story short: everyone at work talks about a "hot nerdy chick" who works at the one antique book store in town and she is a music genius and knows EVERY song people play. So i decided to test it. I played this song and she stated "I think thats Dungeon Masters, they were from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA back in the early to late 80's. Thats either Dungeon Masters or someone doing an incredible job imitating them?". Given that Cleveland is only a 2-3 hr drive from Pittsburgh (from what Steelers players say) i think this could be a possible lead and explain the Cleveland recording? Again, this is only a POSSIBLE lead, but i think it has potential?
Currently my one "source" is looking into it. He is not always accurate (as evidenced when we were looking into Conquest) but its better than nothing."
And someone adds this: "Della said the same Dungeon Masters so better look into it"
But he says this: "Close, "Della" stated the listener who sent in the CD had this song labeled as "Dungeon Master?", not a band name. But I am looking into it as best as I can. I found a Pittsburgh band "Dungeon" but they're NOT metal they're an Omnia/Faun like band (neo-folk I think is the term?) formed in 2018. I sent word out to the people I know and my "team". Now it is a waiting game."

My ex husband was a serial cheater. He cheated many times during our entire marriage (7 years) and the last straw was when he was having an affair with his best friend's fiancé. After that, we got divorced and the other couple broke up. The best friend and I hung out some about a year after these events to share stories since we were the only ones that really fully knew what we were going through. We developed feelings, but ultimately decided nothing could go further because of the history as well as me not wanting to rush into a relationship that quickly. It has been 3 years since this happened. We hadn't spoken since (would have been too hard emotionally to stay in contact) and both have dated other people in this time. He reached out a couple of months ago asking how I was. Then we recently had a serious conversation laying everything out on the table about how we felt back then and now. Both of us have still thought about each other consistently since then and haven't found that same connection with anyone else.
I do have 2 elementary aged kids from my marriage that I have to think about. They do not remember him since they were so young and he wasn't around them often. I have not introduced them to anyone that I have dated and wouldn't even in this situation until I was sure there was a serious future (so who knows if it would end up coming to that).
My friends think I should go for it. They think he is a great guy and say that I deserve happiness. But am I asking for trouble/drama if we do this?? Is this a terrible idea? Will I regret not giving it a chance if I don't go for it? I'm torn and just seeing what people may think outside of the situation that I don't have a personal relationship with.

The main events take place in the summer of 2023, but before that there’s some pretty crucial information you need to know.
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.

Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?