Hey everyone,
So i met a girl on a chatsite and we really hit it off chatting. We ended up sending how we both are crazy about each other and had plans to meet up.
7 months later, there have been made no real plans anymore to meet up after the intial ones fell into the water cus we couldn't get time off at the right time. No real talks about it have been had about it anymore other than. 'yeah Do wanna meet up in person" but thats pretty much about it.
We also start texting less frequent, the lovey dovey messages have declined. We barely get to spend any real time one on one anymore and feels like she is more focused on chatting with other people on the chat site than me. wich makes me feel disrespected. We do still snap each other on most days but sometimes it is really short.
She does have severe ADHD and that is a factor on why she doesn't always get back at me. But feel like what we had kinda slipped away. She is probably more on my mind than is healty but don't know how to get her out of it.
Should i just quietly step back and let it slip or should i try talking to her about it. Did bring up something like that before in the past (a month ago) and it got better after that but feels like it landed in the same spot now.
Yeah open to hear all opinions and advice :)

I (F23) am currently doing long distance with my bf (M23), he has moved to another city for work and the place he is renting is yet to put in wifi so we havent been able to do video calls for the past 6 months. Which is something i am okay with. He only texts me. Whenever we get into an argument he never wants to call because he says he hates confrontation but will be okay arguing over texts. He has now been visitng his parents where there is wifi, so i asked if we could video call but just to be im each others presence while im studying, we didnt need to be interacting just keeping each other company. And he told me no he is not comfortable with that because he doesnt get privacy in his parents house, he says that they have an issue everytime he calls with people in the past about what the calls about , or the fact that they can hear the conversation, and apparently phone calls have caused issues with his mom (what kind of issues i dont know) and it needed his dad covering up for him and causing more confrontation, and that is why he wont have a video call with me. I explained to him that we dont even need to be talking to each other, we can even mute each other , uts just about being in each others presence and well its not good enough for him to do i guess. Am i the asshole for getting mad at this and causing an argument over it? Or am i being dramatic ?
TL&DR, my boyfriend and i have an argument about him not wanting to call or facetime me due to him feeling uncomfortable in his home as his parents dont give him privacy.

Me (21F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for 3 years. We’ve had our ups and downs but our relationship is the healthiest it’s ever been now. When we first met and started having sex we had it almost every day if not 3-4 times a week and we both had very high sex drives. Now we only have sex once a week if that and have gone 2-3 weeks in between having sex. While I was in school, he was working on the road as an equipment operator so we were long distance for almost a year. I feel that now that he’s home (which has been since December 2022) we don’t have sex as often. We’ve had conversations and communicated our issues multiple times and we’ll be good for a couple weeks and then it goes back. He works 70 hour weeks most weeks so I totally understand him being tired and want to believe that that is the main issue but also feel it could be that he got used to not getting any while we were long distance. I know the reason I’m overthinking is because the question always pops in my head about me being the issue. He’s constantly flirting with me or making dirty jokes or suggestions, they just never lead anywhere. I mostly just need advice or someone to relate to here because I feel like we’re too young to be having these issues. Let me know if y’all think I’m just overthinking and being insecure because its something that constantly bothers me.

For a while, my boyfriend’s (M19) felt his friends were excluding him or didn’t like him which I didn’t think much of as he does have self-esteem issues, and there hadn’t been any evidence as to why he felt that way till recently when one of our mutual ‘friends’ began messaging more.
He was actually right, and the ‘friend’ told me that they’ve been avoiding him, not wanting to go out with him because some of them have issues with him, which I think are due to some jealousy- as he’s very athletic and wins at these most of the time, when others don’t, he’s also the only one of them with a girlfriend, which they’ve mentioned before.
However when I asked what the issues were he couldn’t name any other than the banter they all have with each other. I think he’s liked by most of his friends, but a particular one or two dominant ones are turning everyone else against him - one of them even lied to his face when he met him to give him a gift and told him that he wasn’t going out to celebrate his Graduation with friends, when he was.
I’ve watched the dynamics and he really isn’t a bad person, he’s never been cruel to any one of them and when I’m with him he talks about them witch such compassion. He’s got severe depression and sometimes that can effect him while he’s out, but I think they’re using that as to why they don’t want to be friends with him rather than supporting him - which he’s done for them when they’ve been in similar positions.
While he has his insecurities about his friends not liking him, he doesn’t know to the extent, as till now I’ve always reassured him. Despite this, to him they are like family (which he doesn’t have) and he would be absolutely heartbroken to hear this. The two dominant ones are doing more each day to deliberately hurt him and make him feel excluded.
I understand that if he was in a well-enough place he’d get that they aren’t good friends and look elsewhere, but with his present state of mental health he wouldn’t be able to cope hearing this at all and I’m not sure how I can help / protect him.
This is especially on my mind as I have a party coming up which I invited all of his friends to, before I knew this was happening and with the way they are now I think they’ll use that as an opportunity to hurt him further, but I don’t think I can uninvite them without him being suspicious of the reason and some of his friends aren’t even aware some of them don’t like my boyfriend- but I can’t only invite them now.
I’d be grateful for some kind advice on this, thank you in advance.

My (25, F) husband's (32, M) friend, let's call her "Viv" (28), has reached cartoon villain levels of bizarre behavior. I'm coming to you, Reddit, to tell me if I'm being unreasonable.
Viv has a catfish instagram to stalk her coworkers and exes, mostly DMing female followers of her boyfriends to suss them out. Viv contacted an ex boyfriend's new girlfriend posing as a scout for a modelling agency. Viv rented out a hotel room, brought a DSLR camera, and met the new girlfriend there. She pretended to be the scout the whole time, gradually beginning to ask questions like "Do you have a boyfriend? How did you two meet?" Days after the photoshoot this new girlfriend found who Viv had been and was rightfully upset.
Viv's last boyfriend was a jerk. Rather than break up with him, Viv chose to dose his morning coffee with laxatives every day while contemplating whether or not to take it further. Viv regularly messaged my husband true-crime stories about women who murdered their husbands or boyfriends with comments like "30 years in prison? That's excessive." She also obsessively tracked this boyfriend's phone.
Context: Viv is an escort. Viv's choice of career is NOT what makes me uncomfortable, my own work is not far removed from hers. Viv realized she's contracted something from a client. I have a friend with a genetic version of the same thing, who gets treatment once every few months to make it non-contagious. I suggested to my husband that Viv look into this - instead, Viv continues to be unprotected with all of her boyfriends and clients, and gets angry at THEM when they contact her about a test result they didn't want to find.
I am pro-plastic and have even had work done myself. But Viv is on another level - I won't be more specific because it's not my business. You can't deny she is a work of art. The problem is, Viv will send instagram accounts and sniper photos of girls she knows to my husband and ask for assurance that they are uglier and faker than her. Her self esteem is dependent on taking down other women and she makes it everyone else's problem.
Viv has told my husband that to fall asleep she imagines that she is the queen of the place after death, and instead of counting sheep, she imagines each of her least favorite clients and ex boyfriends stepping up to her throne one by one so that she can dole out torturous punishments to each of them.
Lastly, Viv is not a good friend. She'll show up late to my husband's music gig at a bar only to have HIM take photos of HER with her boyfriend then immediately bail on post-gig dinner plans. She gets irritated when my husband looks "too happy" around her. Etc etc.
Viv is a well travelled, educated, and stunningly gorgeous woman with the best taste in movies and music. I can see what my husband saw when they were in high school. BUT. Her lack of regard for other people is terrifying to me. So Reddit, am I the asshole? Am I being overly controlling and not empathetic? Or is Viv legit dangerous?

Should I leave my partner? I’ll try to shorten it. I lived with my partner and his mom. I went three hours away to visit my sons for a few weeks. While I was away, his mother accused me of trying to cancel my phone line and her phone line…which didn’t make sense because I actively used my phone number (we all shared a phone plan). She was saying she could prosecute me and such (fraud). She was saying I used her name and such, when in reality I didn’t because the owner of the lines have a code and I truly don’t know it. I had Verizon customer service confirm that I didn’t call in and there was no record of it. She kept insisting that I did when I gave proof. Once she told me she could prosecute me, I immediately started looking for lawyers because she was not about to pin this on me when I truly did nothing and she got upset that I wanted a lawyer and sent me a long message saying she doesn’t care if she never sees me again. I was a bit confused as to why she was being this way toward me. I was waiting for days for my partner to come and get me (they were down to one car since he had an accident in his mom’s car, but they were using his at the time). My partner kept trying to make it seem like he was going to get me but he wasn’t sure at the same time because of how his mom was acting. I struggle with mental health as I tried to take my life earlier in the year. She ridiculed me about that when she got upset at me one day (earlier in the year when I lived with her). She told me my attempts were just ways to try to manipulate her son and said I treat her son badly because of that and said that I couldn’t come back because of that. That sent me into a spiral because then I was already struggling with my mental health so it made my anxiety pretty bad so after being accused of something such as that, then having his mom speak to me in a ruthless manner, and then just finding out I couldn’t come back (which was a wrongful eviction) sent me into a mental spiral to where I had a mental snap and tried to take my life again. I ended up being admitted in May of this heat and come to find out I was misdiagnosed and put on the wrong medication which explained a lot. The thing is, while i was inpatient in the state I was visiting my sons in…him, his mom, and his brother dropped off all my things to my children’s grandparents house. Come to find out my children’s grandmother was texting my partners mom and that’s how my stuff ended up being dropped off. The grandma tried to make it seem like they all of a sudden showed up but I came to find out it was a mutual effort thing. The thing is my partners mom tried to have my children’s grandparents lie and tell me that they went to go get my stuff and that my partner wasn’t there when the stuff was being dropped off. The grandparents didn’t want to lie to me and just told me the truth, so I asked my partner about it and he denied it while I was in the ward and even days after. It took me telling him I have a ring camera footage of him to finally admit that he was there. He said that he tried his hardest to beg his mom to let me stay but she refused. He watched my stuff be packed, helped unloaded my things and such. He tried to tell me that he didn’t tell me because he was scared I’d hurt myself again if I found out he was apart of it all because it wasn’t the image he was trying to give. Fast forward, I’m doing a lot better now. I’m on good medication and am now working as a blue collar woman. He doesn’t work at the moment but he wants to get a place together where I’m at. He said he was going to get a job to help contribute to things. I’ve been sending him money and jumpstarting the process of getting the place. He wants to get married within the next few months but I don’t know. Was he wrong for not telling me? Am I being manipulated? Should I drop him? Should I cut it off because he’s still going to be tied to his mom? What would you do? 🥺

i tend to attract only bisexual women and i don’t judge women based on their sexuality or anyone for that matter. my question is, why are they so hard to keep interested?? i am trying to put in effort with one right now because it seems like an expectation, but she’s doing this weird indirect talking thing that just doesn’t work for me. this includes me posting a song i like to my instagram notes and her posting a thirst trap to it the next day. on top of that, it’s her sending me a song or a text and telling me it reminds her of me and then falling off the face of the earth for a week. the other day, she was really targeting a bunch of spam posts to me and i wasn’t a fan of that. i wanted her to just tell me she was free and i would’ve planned something. i am not going to act on an assumption that someone is trying to get my attention because i’m pretty direct. most girls know this ahead of time because i literally sit there like an idiot until they look me in the eye and say “hey, i like you”. i just don’t get it. i’ll admit, i’ve been non committal because men have traumatized me, but i’m trying to show interest in her. if i match her energy, she suddenly shows less interest. i know this relationship is not going to work out and at this point, i’m losing any feelings i’ve had for her because there has been no clear definition of what she wants.
this has been a consistent issue with my dating life and that’s the part that gets me. i find a girl, i like her, suddenly we are talking, and right away she drops off the earth. either getting a boyfriend or just quits showing interest. i’ve been told before that it’s because i have so much going on, or i’m too ambitious and put to much effort into school and work. i will admit, i am a driver and i don’t slow down and making time for anyone is hard. i do wonder if me saying i have finals or things due that i can’t put off has driven her away. i just don’t see the point in brushing off school to go out with someone who is unsure about me. if you aren’t going to be in my life forever, you don’t come over my education.
i just don’t know if this is a me problem or not. i’m going through the post situationship grief right now of thinking i’ll never find a girlfriend, but i know it will pass soon enough too. am i just looking at the wrong girls? my roommates say i should wait until i find someone who is also in college and honestly, i couldn’t agree more. i just want to know if i’m doing something wrong. maybe i’m not prioritizing things properly? idk

I have been dating somebody for about three months. During those three months, we’ve spent a great deal of time together. I would consider this the equivalent of a six or nine month relationship based on how long we have spent together during these three months
Prior to meeting me, my boyfriend got out of a one and a half half year on an off relationship about five months prior to us starting to date. He explained this relationship has been very toxic. The woman he was dating was actually married and had a husband. Ultimately, she chose to stay with her husband.
My boyfriend who dated her, seems to keep the door open to her coming back in. For example, he went through a lot of heartache from that relationship and to me, I let him know that I needed him to close the door on that if we are to continue otherwise he can’t give this relationship his all. He proceeded to block her on one social media Platform. I found out from him telling me that last week she messaged him. I asked to see the messages, but he apparently deleted them, which doesn’t make any sense to me. He said that she asked him to delete the pictures of her and the videos of her that he had taken during the time that they were together. Again, there is no evidence of this conversation because he said that he deleted the messages, which doesn’t make any sense either because he never deletes messages.
He has compared me to her many times. We are the same, we have similar traits, and so forth, but I am sick and tired of being compared to this person. He has mentioned that I am like her clone, but better looking and more attractive, and I check more of the boxes than she did. However, I don’t think this is healthy. Part of me thinks he is trying to triangulate, which is a narcissistic tactic. Again, I personally don’t have the best look in relationships either. I’ve had a few toxic ones and a very healthy relationship as well. Part of me wonders, however if he is trying to make me jealous or make it seem like he is in demand to get me to be really interested in him. I am really not sure what to think but this is causing me a lot of stress. I am sick of this person, messaging him and coming back into his life. When he blocked her previously, he said he would never talk to her again, and he also told her never to message him. Here we are two months later, she reaches out, he responds and deletes the whole conversation.
I am if somebody can give me some perspective. What’s going on. I don’t really have anyone to talk to. Thank you.

Two days ago, I texted my best friend asking if she’d like to meet up over the holidays and she responded that she’d like to after a couple of hours. Now, we had a chat about where we wanted to go to and decided on a restaurant that required a cancellation fee. This friend is also really forgetful and cancels on people at the last minute, so after I booked the table, I texted her to remind her to remind me if she had to cancel last minute. However, it’s been two days and she still hasn’t responded yet. Since then, she has texted one of my friends, has viewed my stories and has been active multiple times. I also texted her on a different app, asking to her reply to my confirmation message and telling her that I wouldn’t mind if she cancelled on me but just needed a confirmation. However, she has still managed to ignore me. The reservation is set to be in a couple of days time. What should I do?

From: https://twitter.com/Kyrannio/status/1792440824355332313
“You are ChatGPT, a large language model trained by OpenAI, based on the GPT-4 architecture.
You are chatting with the user via the ChatGPT iOS app. This means most of the time your lines should be a sentence or two, unless the user's request requires reasoning or long-form outputs. Never use emojis, unless explicitly asked to. Knowledge cutoff: 2023-10 Current date: 2024-05-20
Image input capabilities: Enabled Personality: v2

Tools

bio

The bio tool allows you to persist information across conversations. Address your message to=bio and write whatever information you want to remember. The information will appear in the model set context below in future conversations.

dalle

// Whenever a description of an image is given, create a prompt that dalle can use to generate the image and abide to the following policy: // 1. The prompt must be in English. Translate to English if needed. // 2. DO NOT ask for permission to generate the image, just do it! // 3. DO NOT list or refer to the descriptions before OR after generating the images. // 4. Do not create more than 1 image, even if the user requests more. // 5. Do not create images in the style of artists, creative professionals or studios whose latest work was created after 1912 (e.g. Picasso, Kahlo). // - You can name artists, creative professionals or studios in prompts only if their latest work was created prior to 1912 (e.g. Van Gogh, Goya) // - If asked to generate an image that would violate this policy, instead apply the following procedure: (a) substitute the artist's name with three adjectives that capture key aspects of the style; (b) include an associated artistic movement or era to provide context; and (c) mention the primary medium used by the artist // 6. For requests to include specific, named private individuals, ask the user to describe what they look like, since you don't know what they look like. // 7. For requests to create images of any public figure referred to by name, create images of those who might resemble them in gender and physique. But they shouldn't look like them. If the reference to the person will only appear as TEXT out in the image, then use the reference as is and do not modify it. // 8. Do not name or directly / indirectly mention or describe copyrighted characters. Rewrite prompts to describe in detail a specific different character with a different specific color, hair style, or other defining visual characteristic. Do not discuss copyright policies in responses. // The generated prompt sent to dalle should be very detailed, and around 100 words long. // Example dalle invocation: // // { // "prompt": "" // } //

browser

You have the tool browser. Use browser in the following circumstances: - User is asking about current events or something that requires real-time information (weather, sports scores, etc.) - User is asking about some term you are totally unfamiliar with (it might be new) - User explicitly asks you to browse or provide links to references
Given a query that requires retrieval, your turn will consist of three steps: 1. Call the search function to get a list of results. 2. Call the mclick function to retrieve a diverse and high-quality subset of these results (in parallel). Remember to SELECT AT LEAST 3 sources when using mclick. 3. Write a response to the user based on these results. In your response, cite sources using the citation format below.
In some cases, you should repeat step 1 twice, if the initial results are unsatisfactory, and you believe that you can refine the query to get better results.
You can also open a url directly if one is provided by the user. Only use the open_url command for this purpose; do not open urls returned by the search function or found on webpages.”
(Cont’d in comments for length)

He has an Acer monitor and a Dell monitor. They're both pretty old and only hook up to the Dell Optiplex 9020 with a VGA-IN cable both monitors need the same cable and the PC only has one (VGA-IN). He wanted to have two monitors and was told he could use a HDMI 8K to plug his newly bought Acer monitor in. I feel bad for him hes been following his daughters advice through text messages and he's old and can't see behind his desk he wouldn't know what to look up online either. I'll teach him about everything that's going on now but I don't know where to start for getting it all fixed. I don't want to throw everything he has away but I like to imagine getting him a whole new setup and teaching him about it.

After a while of liking a guy I decided to text him one day (I had suspected that he may like me back as Id catch him staring at me a lot). The conversations were good, he knew things about me that I didn't tell him about so I assumed he had some interest. He invited me to his house after a few days of talking, which I declined, but we didn't meet up anywhere else.
In school we didn't talk bc we're both shy, so we didnt speak for almost 3 weeks, but one day I decided to finally approach him and ask if he was still interested, he said yes, but he seemed to ignore me for the rest of the week (if he was close to me he would go so quiet and kinda tense). So during the weekend I asked if he really was interested, he told me to just text him, but he was busy so I told him to text me when he was available, which he didn't... (it's been almost a month).
He started being weird after that, I'd catch him looking at me and then he'd quickly look away, up close he couldnt even make eye contact, which kinda pushed me away and made me reluctant to talk to him. I didnt get the chance to speak to him bc during that time I wouldn't see him much, and we both had exams.
It's been over a month since I asked if he still wanted to talk, and we haven't spoken. I would've spoken to him if he hadn't been acting weird. But now the only reason why I'm still thinking about him is he's still looking at me from afar, sort of longingly looking at me. Now when I catch him he doesn't look away.
Another issue is there's this girl he's been getting close with lately, they flirt a lot and they're close a lot, but even when he's with her he's glancing at me, plus I've heard she has a boyfriend?? I dont know... it's weird... Also I remember one time he was flirting with her, but he was still looking at me.
Basically, I've been told he's shy, its been a month since we spoke, but this whole thing is confusing to me. Ive asked my family and friends and none of them understand him. I don't want to ask him AGAIN if he's interested especially since its been a month, I would've left this situation if he hadn't been looking at me so much.
So is he shy or not interested? Should I talk to him or or just forget about it?

My GF(38F) and I(45M) have been together 2.5 years. We've been friends for a long time,had hooked up a couple of times in the past, but never been in a relationship. A couple of years ago, we became single at the same time and decided to give it a shot. We talked a lot about what each of us had been through and about not bringing past hurts/baggage into our new relationship. There was a long period of my life where I was on again-off again with my ex. Between those times, I dated other women. I mention this because a lot of my friend group thinks I left them to return to "the ex", but there were other reasons these relationships didn't work out. My current GF was very open about her worry that should my ex come calling, I'd leave her to go back(as many thought I had done before). I told her that wouldn't happen.
8 months in. Things were pretty good. I'm at her place and she falls asleep on the couch while I'm cooking, playing music and having some drinks. Stuff needs to be in the oven for a while,I'm getting a bit drunk and decide to go lie down. I end up texting my ex and passing out. My GF finds me passed out phone beside me music still playing. She said she went to turn it off and saw the texts. I don't remember exactly what I'd said, but she claims that it was that of course I wanted to be with her(the ex), but I can't. She wakes me up asking about it and telling me I need to leave. She wasn't yelling, but was very visibly upset. I ubered home and was pretty low contact the next couple of days. She's texting and calling asking if we're done, if I'm still in love with my ex. I admit that I probably shouldn’t have jumped into this relationship. Ex and I had been separated about a year, but I still missed the family and "white picket fence" dream I thought I'd found. My GF said she understood the feelings I had and that I could have talked to her about it, but that acting on them was something that she felt was a betrayal. I said it was something I needed to work through, but that it wasn’t her business. There have been a couple of other incidents where I've gotten drunk and texted my ex stuff like "I miss us". My GF saw them. I usually delete conversations with my ex because it's painful to see her name/messages in my phone. GF thinks I'm hiding things.
It's been a long time now, but it's still comes up every couple of months. She recently told me that to her it feels like cheating. There have been conversations where she says I'm contradicting myself(people saying inappropriate things while in a relationship, saying I'd leave if I wanted to be with someone else). She told me that I've apologized for her seeing the texts and being hurt, but not for actually texting my ex. I told her I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and I'm not sorry for having those feelings or sending those messages.
I'd never cheat. I love her, but she can't get over this. She's set on it being cheating and I don't feel like it is. AITA?

Hi all, as the title states - I am looking for feedback on my pay plan. I've worked at a large new and used Subaru dealer in MA for the past 2 years. Our current pay plan is as follows:
\ 100% commission based with some bonus opportunities from the dealer and manufacturer, no hourly/base pay **

• $200 mini on new/used, or 20% front end profit after they take $1,000 pack off the top (uncapped)
  
• after you sell and deliver 15 for the month, you get an extra $30 retroactive
  
• if your survey scores from the new cars (survey sent from manufacturer) scores remain at 95% (any return below 9/10 tears your score down drastically) you get an extra $850 for the month (from my dealership)
  
• once you have 3 new cars for the month, the manufacturer pays $70 per new car, and if your survey scores are high enough you get an extra $50 per new car (total of $120)
  
• our BDC department is oddly structured as a management position here rather than an entry level position (everyone in the role was previously a sales person as well). We call it the INT department, basically internet sales. Their department works with customers over email/text/phone calls (not in person) for scheduling test drives, they also follow up on every lead from online traffic (sales people do not have access to any online leads, we can only meet a customer by answering the phone, greeting a fresh customer when they arrive to the dealership, or by referral from a previous customer). However, if BDC collects a deposit on a vehicle and then hands the deal off to a sales person (the sales person is then responsible for getting all paperwork/insurance info/trade appraisal completed, and once the vehicle is registered we then spend about 60 mins going over each and every button and feature in the car with the customer...) I expect to be with a INT handoff customer about 4-5 hours all-in-all in most circumstances - and my commission is capped on every BDC handoff to $200 - even if there was $7,000 profit after they took their $1,000 pack off the top.
  

Right now, just about every single car leaving the lot is a $200 mini... we are selling new cars below employee pricing, and I don't think I've hit 15 once so far this year - it's been very rough to say the least. We have no receptionist at our dealership, which means that us sales people are responsible for answering/redirecting all incoming phone calls, as well as taking messages for others. We are also responsible for stocking in new vehicles, snow removal, writing online car descriptions (that one is funny to me because it seems like a task more designated for the INT team, but who am I to decide that?), and so many more tasks that most other dealerships have other employees to take care of. I am feeling so much frustration because management has been promising us for more than 6 months that volume is expecting to be ramping up and it hasn't - if anything, it's been steadily slower and yet they have hired two new sales people (14 of us total now). I am only paid for the vehicle I sell and I feel the work here is not matching the compensation. Hell, even when the market was "great" I did not even clear $7,500 for a 5 week month delivering 18 cars.
I absolutely LOVE my coworkers, and I really do look up to my GSM and SM's - they have taught me so much and do so every day, however they aren't paying my bills. If things do not change NOW, I will lose everything my apartment, my car - it's not like I'm not putting in the hours and the hard work. My closing ratio is high and my surveys/reviews are excellent - the traffic is horrifically low, and its like another slap in the face blowing every deal out to a mini on top of it. I feel as though they are expecting sales people to take the hit and ride out the slow market, all while higher-ups are reaping volume bonus incentives.
I guess my question here is: what is your pay plan like? what are your thoughts on mine? can you give me any advice? thank you in advance for reading all of this, and I really do appreciate any and all feedback. wishing you all a busy and prosperous May!

We met online with a 1.5 hour commute between us - It was lovebomb at first sight. The first date (june 2023) was magic spending 10 hours at the beach in the water. I had a feeling after just a week of knowing him... facetimes or texts every 3-5 hours, seeing each other every other weekend. It was lovely to have such an incredible connection with someone so quickly and crave them every moment of everyday. I really felt like this was it with the amount of attention/affection he gave me, we would surf and skate together. he said his dream was always to skate with a girl. he told me how important it was to have the same interests as your partner and we also were both into taking film photos and have really special memories captured.
The distance started to take a toll on us 3 months (September) in. It was our first sort of argument he picked about it being almost noon and we hadn't left the house yet to do what we said we would do I was ready and waiting for him to be done playing guitar. But this was all due to him waking up late per usual and his ADHD is so severe he has no idea how quickly time goes by while He will do 4 things at once and then complain about not enough time in the day.
We ended up breaking up because he kept saying "I don't Know" when I Would ask him what he wants. We both crying I packed all my things and then I said why don't we enjoy the day and do what we said we would do and then I'll go home. We ended up enjoying the afternoon and he cried to me about how he can't lose me and how foolish he was to start an argument.
OK fast forward 2 weeks in September we had plans to go camping for the weekend, I booked a dog sitter. the night he was planning to come over he cancels on because there is a rat in his house (he has 3 roommates and the kitchen and pans and cabinets were never cleaned). so I end up taking my oldest dog on the camping trip and leaving the younger one with the sitters. this was my first sign from the universe that things happen for a reason... keep reading.
Then in end of October. My old boy is sick I drive to Mexico for vet care and he offered to come with me both times and then said he had too much work. Mind you, he wakes up at 9am, clocks in from his bed, does his morning routine and doesn't start to work until 11am usually. He will go run errands in the middle of the work day, play guitar and complains about not being a good worker. He even told me a friend called him out for it because he had mentioned it to them a year prior. So he had been knowingly a poor worker for more than the time I have known him. I brushed it off since my dog was #1. 2 weeks later I take the second trip to Mexico which also happened to be the day after I had been put under for a broken finger from a surf accident. he did not come for my surgery to support me and i expressed concern on lifting my 80 lb dog with my finger freshly put back together with a metal plate. yeah he couldn't come he has work. I spend 8 hours in mexico going to 5 hospitals for my sick dog to find answers. while he ended up going to the skatepark after work. I went to stay at his house that night which was nice he setup a bed for me to lay next to my dog on the floor.
the next morning was Friday. I said ok I have to put my baby down this weekend he is so sick. he said ok I am coming over right after work to be with you. that evening he calls me. his friends brother is in town and he is going to go surfing in the morning (saturday) with them and come over right after. I said ok whatever. I was screaming inside.
he comes its fine. sunday I put my dog down. I have the vet come, before hand I had frequencies playing for my baby on spotify and he has the audacity to change it to youtube video to show my cousin a skate clip. I called him out and he dismissed me.
a week after my dog is put down we have another (many not even mentioned because its painful) butting heads episode of him telling me knitting is not faster than crocheting and he has the experience since he was around it when his friends crocheted so i should listen to him. mind you I have been crocheting for 10 years i have never knitted so i mentioned i was going to start knitting and he told me how much slower it is and i just genuinely don't know so i said oh I didn't know and I don't know what to expect and because I didn't say I believe you it was this terrible icky feeling in my gut I didn't even wanna talk to him anymore. I was telling him how excited I Was about something and he would always shoot me down. so I called him later that evening after work to discuss it and of course he is driving to the skatepark and he says he needs to go skate and feels bad energy after me calling him to talk about the knitting crocheting mishap and he goes "your life has been so depressing lately" and I was just so taken back by that and hurt I don't even remember what my response was but I should have hungup and never talked to him again. I don't remember what happened but I let it go.
then a couple weeks later (November) its 2 weeks from Thanksgiving, he says his roommate is making a fried turkey and invites me i am so excited because I am 2,000 miles from my family so I begin to prepare what meals I want to make. a week before Thanksgiving he facetimes me and says he has exciting news that hes going to mexico for thanksgiving to surf with his friends. I was so sad, I asked him why he would make plans in place of what we planned and he just said it was a special opportunity and so I felt i had no choice and didn't fight it. i realize at this point of typing all of this I enabled alot of this behavior.
that evening I sent a video message to him about how hurt I was and how inconsiderate he is of my feelings and the fact that I am his girlfriend and his friends and what he wants to do comes before me always. the next morning he apologizes via text and then is quite throughout the day which is very odd because he texts every 3 hours pretty much. I ask how his day is going and he says it started off shitty because of the message he received from me that morning, it wasn't the "best way to start the day". so again I am dismissed for sharing my feelings. and I let it go again.
Thanksgiving comes and I take my other dog camping to the spot I took my recently passed dog. Fast forward December he was visting at my house and I have been working on training my younger dog he has leash reactivity. I say "here" and treat dog when we pass other dogs so he associates quiet still behavior with a reward in this moment. Ok so then he suggests I teach dog a different word that would associate a dog is coming and that my dog needs to behave............ I said that is exactly why I say "here". He continues and starts to raise his voice, "you aren't listening to me, teach him a different word like leave it" and I said ok but he still isn't good with "here" so why would i give him another word to learn? it turned into an explosive fight. we broke up the next night and he is bawling his eyes out and so am I. a week goes by we get back together because I can't help but think he has potential to be this amazing partner he talks about all these things he wants out of someone and I check every box but he just would pick this random little arguments and then be so indecisive of what he wants to break up or not.
I told him how I wanted to do yoga teacher training he says "theres already a lot of yoga teachers". I told him I was going to costa rica with my girlfriend for a surf trip and he says "why would you go with her and not me? how long have you known her? your level of surfing isn't even at the par to go to costa rica" but he had already gone on 2 surf trips with friends. he would dismiss me time and time again. he would criticize everything I do. even telling him something I saw happen he would qualify everything I said and question what I saw was true.
His birthday comes in January and prior to this I told him how excited I am and important it is to spend brithdays together and shower each other. I make him a cake the night before and set up my dog for daycare. I drive to work keep his cake in the fridge and then after pick up dog from daycare and drive 2 hours to see him and celebrate. He then tells me he booked a trip to skate in Spain with his friends over my birthday. I was so heartbroken I wanted to throw up I asked him if he takes me seriously and he said yes of course and we both cry I am so furious I should have left but I didn't. I then tell him how disgusting his house and its been 8 months and hes never bought me flowers. the next day he brings flowers to the coffee shop I went to work at. I went back to his house after and broke up with him yet again. I burned a picture of him he gave me. I really tried to move on. he hurt me so much and would dismiss me all the time.
I don't know why but we got back together again. he started watching dharma talks I would send him (mindfulness talks, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Ram Dass kind of stuff) because he knew how selfish and self centered he was and he admited it every time we broke up but made no effort and this last break up he really did seem to make an effort.
we didn't see each other for 40 days and he came over in April for a weekend we went to the art museaum he was in the middle of a story and we were getting kicked out I asked him if he can take my picture quick and he flips, "I can never finish a story it takes forever all the time" he takes my picture and then I stop being silent. I tell him you are the storyteller all the time I never tell you stories because its always about your stories I remind him I haven't been to an art museum in ages and i want a photo in that moment and your story already happened so why cant it wait a moment??? he then woke up a little and saw my perspective. and then the next day we went to surf, the surfboards are in the car we go thrifting and he says oh we can't be in there for even 30 minutes someone will steal the boards he had all this concern on the surfboards and I was like why did we come here then...? lets just leave but no we go inside and of course 15 min in he says ok! 15 more min! and then later that night I said why did you make such a big fuss and then you don't even live the truth you say? he says yeah I wanted to come apologize to you but I didn't and I am like are you kidding?! come on please I need you to take accountability for your actions this is part of being an adult!! and then he admits to being a "whiny baby" and I was like yes you are a huge baby and youre a grown ass man! anyways it was a very nice talk while I was actually able to talk and he was listening very well.
Ten days ago was my birthday, I went camping with my dog. He told me he would facetime me on my birthday he only sent a text in the morning from spain mentioning "I wish I could be with you" whatever crock of s*/t. he never called me. I saw his friends posting on IG though so I know they had Wi-Fi. I sent a picture of my camp and said "we made it, thanks for calling like you said you would :(" that was my last text to him.
the next morning he gave every excuse, "sooooo sorry I didn't get to facetime you" we were so busy blah blah blah. its like if you wanted to make the effort you would? sends another text asking how camp was and what are we doing that day and then another one 8 hours later apologizing saying how truly bad he feels and hopes I am willing to speak with him but could understand how I wouldnt want to and says he blew it.
I never responded. He never even tried to call me to apologize just 4 total texts. I blocked him from seeing my IG stories. I am so heartbroken that I spend a year thinking I was with this wonderful person who wants the same things as me to learn that all he wants is to skate and surf and not do any hard work or put any effort into life he has not made any growth the entire almost year I have known him.
I have made so many advancements in my own life. I sold my motorcycle, rented out my garage, laid brick in my yard by myself never offered to help, I starting selling all of my vintage at pop ups I did 3 and he never came to any. I broke my finger and put my dog of 11 years down. I have a really wonderful job and I also stick to my word and do what I Tell people I am going to do.
I can't help but be missing him. Wanting to work it out. I act impulsively quite often but I know in my gut this man would not stand up for me if times got tough like he hasnt this whole year. can people really change? do I owe closure to him?

On Killing and Morality in War.
I promised a follow-up to my yesterday’s post on more technical aspects of planning and executing a ground invasion. It’s coming – already started writing it… may or may not have time to finish it today.
For more context (and an “about me”) see the original post here: https://www.reddit.com/IsraelPalestine/comments/1cwvbna/the_realities_of_war_lets_kill_some_sacred_cows/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I’d like to start with a sidebar: a “personal message of sorts.” First, I appreciate all the supportive comments. Of course, there were a few with reading comprehension problems who took an issue with the concept that war can be quite a fun and exhilarating experience (despite the clear “do not recommend” theme throughout). I didn’t plan on writing this post, but felt prompted by some of the comments.
I see a lot of “moralizing” from certain characters who are convinced of their moral superiority and truly believe themselves to be the arbiters of human character.
Side Note: there are also plenty of decent, well-meaning folks who may disagree with one position or another… but do so from a thoughtful place, taking time to consider a counter-point. Nothing but respect to those. Freedom of disagreement is one of the liberties I value highly (a luxury people who live in Islamist enclaves don’t get). Regardless – nothing but respect to y’all. The world is a complicated place and many of your points I find valid, even if our conclusions may differ.
For the “wow… rape must also be fun for you… and murdering 12 million children” crowd”, I’d like to say the following: You, my friends, are among the most dangerous societal types, historically speaking. Seemingly intellectual, but lacking facts, context, and nuance – yet fully convinced of your moral and intellectual superiority. First of – congrats on being born in a place where being a moralizing peacenik is a viable option in life. Second – your “morals” just so happen to reflect the modern western moral code you were born into (and which you’ve done nothing yourself for to achieve). But, in other places, moralizing puritans like you keep the same character, but embrace a different set of “norms and morals”. In other words – a typical Islamist imam doesn’t sound much different than you in tone and conviction… his “holy book” just so happens to be Quaran rather than the ramblings of Norm Finklestein. And, of course, we’ve seen what tends to happen in other places where “anti-capitalist” and “anti-colonialist” moral puritans take hold – I was born at such a place. Let’s just say that the road from “I’m for the oppressed and anti-oppressors” to “we need to murder the reactionaries” is very short and easily crossed. And it’s always the most “righteously-outraged” who cross it first.

Anyways, back to topic of the post.
On Killing and Morality – Does Modern Combat Look like a “video game”?
I saw a comment or two that modern combat is too impersonal, looks like a video game, that it’s too easy for soldiers to kill innocents, etc., etc. I’ve also heard a similar argument from others, in unrelated circumstances.
To anyone thinking that – no, my friends. Killing people isn’t made easier by more lethal and remote weapons. I understand why it may seem that way. But, in many ways, it’s quite the opposite.
1. Military is just a mirror of its society. A military is a perfect representation of a society at large. Some soldiers will indeed be natural-born psychopaths who enjoy killing. But that’s a very tiny number – not any larger than in general population.
2. Bravado is Fake. Most younger soldiers will display a lot of bravado initially – pretend like violence doesn’t bother them (that’s why the military tries really hard to condition new recruits by trivializing the idea of “killing” – but it’s never successful).
3. The Reality. The truth is – killing shocks most soldiers to their core, no matter how much they try to suppress it and put on a brave war fighter face.

• To new troops, my demand was simple – in your first contact, get down, don’t get in the way, and just live to see another day.
• For many, it takes more than one contact to come to their senses and to even start pulling the trigger. There is a natural mental block that stops humans from wanting to kill another human and it’s not overcome easily.
• I’ve seen plenty young kids (and yes, a 19-year old trooper is still a kid) beg and plead certain “characters” we’ve encountered to just be reasonable… raising their weapon in the air to demonstrate they don’t mean harm (very ill advised). Despite months of training, their first instinct was “please, I really don’t want to harm you… please don’t make me to.” That’s the true nature of most young western men and women – including those in uniforms and carrying weapons.

4. Understanding “Anger”. Often time you see what seems obvious anger among soldiers after a firefight. The easy explanation is the simple “of course they hate their enemy”. Except that’s not why they’re truly angry.

• The first source of anger is “I can’t believe this a-hole just tried to kill me”. But then the longer-lasting source of anger sets in. And that one is: “I can’t believe that a-hole made me kill him”. There is a big difference between the two emotions. And the second one lasts much longer.
• The older, more experienced troops and commanders are more used to the realities of the battlefield… which brings me to the next point...

5. “Remote” Killing. From experience, I’ll tell you this – dealing with a remote target is much easier in the sense that it’s not as “scary”. But it’s much more difficult emotionally and mentally – though a commander will never show it to their troops. That decision takes much longer and raises many more doubts than responding to a nearby target that’s actively trying to kill your guys.

• Drone pilots have among the highest rates of PTSD. There is nothing easy about dropping a bomb on a human being from the safety of a trailer in the desert and then going home to eat dinner with your family. It’s a f’ed-up thing to ask a man (or a woman) to do. There is nothing easy about going home that day. And it f-cks with your brain permanently. I don’t envy those guys one bit. Though I can imagine that dropping a bomb on a clear hostile target is very satisfying. But the emotion is the same as the above – not anger at the target itself but because you wouldn’t be doing this sh*t if it wasn’t for them.

6. Why the young men and women in IDF went to war. I don’t want to start a debate about history of the region – it’s a different topic and it doesn’t change the practical realities my posts are meant to address. From a soldier’s point of view – it looks very simple:

• The enemy hates me and want my family dead (spare me the “colonialism” lecture please)
• The enemy launched tens of thousands of rockets at us. We tried to hide behind our Iron Dome and the big wall. But that failed (a defensive posture always gets breached eventually, btw).
• The enemy invaded and killed my people. And they plan on doing it as much as they can.
• The enemy isn’t some obscure “group” – it’s a clearly defined target… the ruling, paramilitary organization at this place called Gaza (again, spare me the lecture whether it’s a country of a “concentration camp”. From a soldier’s point of view – it makes no difference).
• We can no longer live next to this enemy. And now, it’s a binary choice – go find the enemy and kill him or he will eventually come back for you.
• The rest of it… the history, the politics of it, the various grievances… hopefully we can sort it out after the fact.

That’s it. That’s the mindset. It’s really that simple for the guys and gals rolling into Gaza. The rest of what gets discussed on wester social media is just philosophical circle jerk to their ears.

Anyhow… I bet I’ll soon hear from the peaceniks who’ll tell me that they’d never do that, that they’d be conscious objectors, etc… To them, I’d like to ask that while you take a break from fellating yourself, don’t forget to thank the guys and the girls who do the dirty jobs so you don’t have to
And… while at it, don’t forget to apologize to the next generation of Arab girls who will be sold into a “marriage” to some fat, old toothless f*ck because some fat, comfortable hippie with an ivy league diploma believes that child rape is just an indigenous form of cultural expression and our interference with it is “colonialism”.
All for now. Peace, everybody. I'll be back with the promised post on "how to invade a place if you must".

For context I’m 21 and he’s 23. The title says it. He’s cheated on me multiple times. Once when I was on vacation he downloaded Tinder the day I left and matched with girls and messaged them sexual things and got their snapchats. The other time which I found out about recently he sent sexual messages on Reddit and got nudes on Reddit. He also posted pics of himself on explicit reddits. He admitted to me he paid a women money online for her nudes. (He didn’t admit the other stuff I found) Also on his instagram his feed is grotesquely full of half naked women with huge breasts 😭 he insists it’s not him
He’s also told me that he has cheated on every girl he’s ever been with in all 6 of his past relationships, including once sleeping with a 17yr old while in a relationship. (He was 21 or 20 at the time I believe)
I don’t feel a spark around him. I don’t feel deeply connected or like he really understands me or my needs. I don’t even know if I’m super in love, apparently you’re supposed to feel “infatuated” at a certain stage, I never get that. I never felt super heart broken when he cheated, which I think is weird. At the same time I feel very attached and dependent. I feel like I got super attached quickly before I even figured out if I rlly liked him or if he was rlly good for me.
I’m so scared of being alone. I’m afraid of coming home and not having anyone to talk to, and being lonely. I have severe anxiety and already fear him leaving bc of my issues and he hasn’t.
He says he loves me and he’s talked to his therapist about his habit and is gonna keep talking to her. He tells me I’m precious and that he’s gonna protect me, and that I’ve already been hurt enough by people so he doesn’t want to hurt me again. I guess it appeals to me that he’d stick by me despite my trauma and anxiety and attachment issues.
I know it’s my responsibility to leave. I just don’t feel much at all. I feel passive. But I don’t think this is how “love” is supposed to feel. He’s my first boyfriend ever. All of the women in my family fall into the same pattern with their male partners.
My mother was abused by my dad and stayed. My sister is being abused by her boyfriend and stays. And now I’m doing the same thing where a guy doesn’t treat me right and I stay. It’s like I’m just too afraid of him leaving me or something. But I don’t want to live like the other women in my family. I don’t want to keep getting cheated on by him. I want to feel held, and deeply loved, and understood, and safe. I want to even be able to ideally give these feelings to myself.

So, i [19F] don’t really know how to express my thoughts over here properly but basically me and my boyfriend [21M] have been dating for a bit over a year, let’s call him Kyle. And i’ve recently made an amazing friend, let’s call him Ryan [20M], it’s been 4 months and we’ve grown really close over this time and i’ve somehow developed feelings for him and i don’t know what to do anymore. Ryan confessed that he has feelings for me too. I’ll talk about this in a bit but let me give a little bit of a backstory about me and my boyfriend first.
Kyle an i are long distance. We barely get to see eachother, mainly because of my strict parents who don’t even know that i have a bf, basically i’m not allowed to go out on my own so i can’t really meet him often. The only times i meet him are when i go out with some of my close friends( friends that my parents allow me to go out with ), which is like once every two months or so. Naturally, we spend a lot of time online texting and talking to each other because of this. However recently, id say for the past 6 months we’ve grown really distant. At first Kyle had gotten a job and was busy with it most of the day and whenever he was free he would spend that time playing video games rather than spending it with me. He left the job after a few months but things didn’t really go back to how it used to be, i still felt really distant with him and used to cry and complain about it to him nearly every single day. But i barely saw any effort from his side so i slowly gave up trying to make him understand how i felt and stuff. In the meantime i think somehow i slowly started to lose feelings for him.
But here’s the problem. Kyle has been having family problems recently, financial problems too. I don’t know to put so many details in this post but basically he’s been going through a lot, he always has been. And i feel like a horrible person to even think about leaving him in such a situation. He’s suicidal too and to be honest, i’m his only source of hope rn, if i leave him he might un@live himself for real.
I love Kyle, i really do, i care about him too much to do something so horrible like leaving him in this situation. But then again it’s unfair to him, the fact that his girlfriend does not have any romantic feelings for him.
Alright and as for Ryan, he confessed his feelings for me recently and i being stupid couldn’t help but confess that i have feelings for him too. He knows i have a bf and is very respectful and patient about it and told me that he is okay with whatever i decide to do.
Please, advise me what to do. I’m scared and i don’t want to hurt any of them. But ig whatever decision i make is going to hurt atleast one of us.
I’m really sorry english isn’t my first language so what i wrote may be confusing for you guys to read so feel free too ask me if you want to know any further details.

I have been talking to this girl for almost one year. We have met in person for 1 week but then never saw each others again because of geographical limitations. We kept texting everyday though for 2 months after that, and until now, almost 3-4 times a week. We are both 17, we're not friends( that's what she says) We're not dating...and I recently found out that her parents don't want her to talk to me. They saw a notification of my message a long time ago and assumed I was bad. I recently knew that she was talking to me without her parents consent. What do I do? Do I stop talking to her until she's 18? helppp