Background: Hispanic/White male, suburban Illinois, public school
GPA: 4.000 UW, 4.671 W
SAT: 1560 (790 Math, 770 Reading) -- Superscore 1570 (800 Math, 770 Reading)
AP Scores-

• (Fresh) Music Theory: 5
• (Fresh) Computer Science Principles: 4
• (Soph) Computer Science A: 5
• (Soph) US History: 5
• This year: AP Bio, Lang, Calculus BC, Physics 1, and Macro
• Next year: AP Chem, Lit, Stats, US GOPO

​
ECs-

• Music: Have played the euphonium for 7 years and piano for 11.
  • Euphonium (9, 10 for school band; 9, 10, 11, 12 for playing the instrument in general): Made 1st chair in the top ensemble at my school freshman year. Sophomore year was 4th chair in the ILMEA district and 1st chair in the school district. Received two Division I certifications and a best of day certification in the school district solo/ensemble. Principal euphonium in a local community band, principal euphonium in the community college concert band, and substitute member of the Wheaton Municipal Band, a semiprofessional band that has been featured on the CBS series "Hidden Gems".
  • Piano: No particular certifications, but I have volunteered to play at a memory care center. Favorite pieces I have played are "Liebestraum No. 3" by Liszt, "Prelude No. 1" by Gershwin, and "To a Wild Rose" by MacDowell.
• Sports:
  • Varsity Track (9, 10, 11, 12): - Varsity relays and JV throws. JV indoor all-conference freshman year. Qualified for varsity outdoor sectionals freshman, sophomore, and junior years. Voted academic all-conference.
  • Varsity Football (11, 12): Varsity fullback and wide receiver. Voted academic all-conference.
  • Quiz Bowl (11, 12): 1st seed team member. Led the team in points, and my first year, the team placed the highest in school history. 11-2 record in-conference, 13-3 record overall. Placed 2nd in conference and 2nd at regionals. Voted all-conference, MVP, and team captain.
• Accepted into a mentorship/internship for the Sudden Cardiac-Death Awareness Research Foundation.
• Hobbies:
  
  • Gym: 205 Bench Press, 305 Squat, 315 Deadlift
  • Spartan Racing: Ran the Spartan Sprint (5k) in Arizona in February, placed in top 41%. Planning on running the Spartan Super (10k) in June and the Spartan Beast (21k) later this year.
  • Job: Worked at Wendy's for 7 months (July 2023 - February 2024)
  • Volunteering: Church volunteer for Totus Tuus camps, which aim to spread God's teachings through the mysteries of the rosary.

Awards/Honors-

• National Merit Scholarship Semifinalist (1510 PSAT)
• National Hispanic Recognition
• AP Scholar with Honor
• ILMEA All-District Musician
• Upstate-8 All-Conference Scholastic Bowl

Is it a bad idea if I (F21) ask my boyfriend (M22) to use a cost splitting app to keep things even?
My boyfriend (M22) and I (F21) have been dating for a year, and things have been going amazing! He is so kind and puts me first, which is great until it comes to things like paying for the bill. He always tries to put his card down which I think is sweet, but I’ve always been a person who likes to split the bill. In my eyes, each paying for our own bill means that each of us contributes and we don’t accidentally put more of the financial burden for dates/trips on one person, as I also suffer from some memory-related issues. However, he thinks that splitting the bill is weird because it’s fun to treat each other sometimes, which I can agree with.
I suggested that we can find a median by using a cost splitting app as a way to make sure costs are even. Aside from the occasional treat, I thought it might be a good way to help keep track of how much we’re spending on dates and will help my awful memory with who paid last. He seemed hesitant though, but wouldn’t explain why so I want to know if there’s a better way to split things.
It’s also important to note that we are both still dependent on our parents for living expenses in college but have part-time jobs; overall, he has a lot more expenses than I do for things like groceries and club sports and I have scholarships that cover a lot. There have been times where I cover the bill until he gets paid and he’ll want to pay me back, but it makes me feel bad for him to send me money because it makes the relationship seem a bit transactional. He also is pretty embarrassed to ask even when I tell him I understand our situations are different, and he always insists on paying me back no matter what. I’m thinking that by putting it in the app, instead of him feeling the need to pay me back then maybe he can pick up the next tab and it will feel like a treat for both of us!
Overall I don’t know if I’m being too frugal and making it a bigger deal than necessary, or if maybe he’s more anxious than I thought about finances, but I would love some advice!

Working on creating a single unbiased list of LitRPG / GameLit / Progression Fantasy Series' to help people new to the genre.
What I have so far, still very much a WIP:
EDIT 1 - Not sure what happened but the original post was the wrong data. Here's the proper info, with the Dislikes added (ie. things about the series someone might not like).
EDIT 2 - FUCK REDDIT!!!
EDIT 3 - Finally got it working...

+	A	B	C	D	E	F
1	Series Title	Author	Short Summary	Style	Comparison	Dislikes
2	Morcster Chef	Actus	A chef in a fantasy world uses his culinary skills to navigate adventures, combining cooking and combat.	Slice of life, fantasy, humor.	Like "Ratatouille" meets "The Land."	Light-hearted tone, slow pacing, minimal action.
3	The Land	Aleron Kong	Richter is transported to a magical world called The Land, where he must navigate game mechanics to survive, build a kingdom, and uncover the mysteries of this new reality.	Fantasy adventure, kingdom building, RPG elements.	Like a mix of "Game of Thrones" and "World of Warcraft."	Repetitive stat checks, slow pacing, overly detailed descriptions of game mechanics.
4	The Eternal Journey	Alex Raizman	A man is transported to a game-like world where he must navigate dungeons, monsters, and quests to uncover the truth about his past.	Dungeon crawling, fantasy, adventure.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "Dungeons & Dragons."	Slow pacing, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
5	Project Daily Grind	Alexey Osadchuk	Daniel Mahan, a programmer, is trapped in a VR game where he must navigate a world of quests, monsters, and intrigue.	VR immersion, adventure, fantasy.	Like "The Matrix" meets "World of Warcraft."	Translation issues, slow pacing, occasional lack of depth.
6	The Dark Continent	Alexey Osadchuk	Eric and his friends navigate a dangerous landscape, using Eric's unique abilities to turn weaknesses into strengths.	Adventure, fantasy, RPG mechanics.	Like "Lord of the Rings" meets "Dark Souls."	Translation issues, slow pacing, repetitive plot points.
7	CivCEO	Andrew Karevik	A gamer is transported to a world where he must build and manage a city, navigating political intrigue and battles.	Strategy, city building, RPG mechanics.	Like "Civilization" meets "The Land."	Complex mechanics, slow pacing, repetitive elements.
8	Arcane Ascension	Andrew Rowe	Corin Cadence navigates a world with a complex magic system and towers that grant powerful abilities to those who can survive their trials.	Magic school, intricate magic system, coming-of-age.	Like "Harry Potter" meets "The Name of the Wind."	Detailed magic system can be hard to follow, some find the protagonist unrelatable, pacing issues.
9	Sufficiently Advanced Magic	Andrew Rowe	After surviving a deadly trial, Corin seeks to master the magical attunement system to find his missing brother and uncover the secrets of their world.	High fantasy, intricate magic system, personal growth.	Like "Mistborn" meets "Harry Potter."	Complex magic system can be overwhelming, pacing issues, cliffhangers.
10	Bunker Core	Andrew Seiple	A protagonist navigates a post-apocalyptic world with a bunker base, using strategy and resources to survive.	Post-apocalyptic, survival, strategy.	Like "Fallout" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, slow pacing, complex mechanics.
11	Threadbare	Andrew Seiple	Threadbare, a sentient teddy bear, embarks on an adventure in a fantasy world, discovering the truth about his creation and purpose.	Fantasy, humor, adventure.	Like "Toy Story" meets "Dungeons & Dragons."	Light-hearted tone may not appeal to all, slow pacing, juvenile elements.
12	Fayroll	Andrey Vasilyev	Harriton, a journalist, enters a VR game for a story and finds himself entangled in quests, guilds, and adventures beyond his expectations.	High fantasy, VR immersion, quest-driven.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Witcher."	Translation issues, slow pacing, complex plot.
13	Codename: Freedom	Apollos Thorne	A gamer navigates a VR world filled with quests, battles, and political intrigue, seeking freedom and power.	VR immersion, fantasy, adventure.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Land."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
14	Asgard Awakening	Blaise Corvin	A protagonist navigates a world inspired by Norse mythology, battling enemies and uncovering secrets.	Mythology, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "Thor" meets "World of Warcraft."	Complex plot, slow pacing, dense world-building.
15	Delvers LLC	Blaise Corvin	Henry and Jason are transported to a world filled with dungeons, monsters, and quests, where they must use their wits and skills to survive.	Dungeon crawling, VR immersion, adventure.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "Dungeons & Dragons."	Slow pacing, repetitive elements, occasional lack of depth.
16	Deck of Souls: Fateseal	Bonnie L. Price	A protagonist navigates a world where souls are traded as cards, facing quests and challenges to survive.	Fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "Yu-Gi-Oh!" meets "The Land."	Complex mechanics, slow pacing, repetitive elements.
17	Barrow King	C.M. Carney	A young man enters a game-like world where he must navigate dungeons, battle monsters, and uncover the truth about his past.	Dungeon crawling, fantasy, adventure.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "World of Warcraft."	Slow start, repetitive elements, complex mechanics.
18	Desire	Cameron Milan	A protagonist navigates a world where desires are central to power, facing quests and challenges to survive.	Dark fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Witcher" meets "World of Warcraft."	Dark tone, graphic content, slow pacing.
19	Towers of Heaven	Cameron Milan	A group of adventurers climbs a mysterious tower filled with levels of increasing difficulty, seeking ultimate power.	Fantasy, tower climbing, RPG mechanics.	Like "Tower of God" meets "The Land."	Repetitive elements, slow pacing, complex plot.
20	Beware of Chicken	CasualFarmer	A martial artist finds peace and a simpler life as a chicken farmer in a world of cultivation and martial arts, facing challenges with humor and heart.	Slice of life, humor, cultivation.	Like "Kung Fu Panda" meets "Stardew Valley."	Slice-of-life style may be too slow, light-hearted tone, minimal action.
21	The Bathrobe Knight	Charles Dean	A former top player in a VR game returns to the game world after a long hiatus, only to find everything has changed.	Humor, adventure, VR immersion.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Princess Bride."	Juvenile humor, inconsistent pacing, lack of character depth.
22	The Heroic Villain	Charles Dean	A protagonist embraces his role as a villain in a game-like world, navigating quests and moral dilemmas.	Dark fantasy, RPG mechanics, anti-hero.	Like "Breaking Bad" meets "World of Warcraft."	Dark tone, morally ambiguous protagonist, slow pacing.
23	War Aeternus	Charles Dean	Jason, a gamer, is transported to a fantasy world where he must navigate a war-torn land filled with magic and monsters.	Fantasy, adventure, RPG mechanics.	Like "Game of Thrones" meets "World of Warcraft."	Slow pacing, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
24	The Gam3	Cosimo Yap	Alan enters a futuristic game where he must navigate a universe filled with political intrigue, battles, and quests to survive and thrive.	Sci-fi, VR immersion, strategy.	Like "Ender's Game" meets "Star Wars."	Complex plot, slow pacing, occasional lack of character depth.
25	AlterWorld	D. Rus	Max, a terminally ill man, decides to permanently upload his consciousness into a virtual reality game, exploring a new life filled with adventures.	VR immersion, fantasy, survival.	Like "The Matrix" meets "World of Warcraft."	Translation issues, slow start, complex game mechanics.
26	Play to Live	D. Rus	Alex enters a virtual reality game to escape his terminal illness, finding new purpose and challenges in a digital world where he can truly live.	VR immersion, fantasy, survival.	Like "Sword Art Online" meets "The Matrix."	Translation issues, slow start, complex game mechanics.
27	The Completionist Chronicles	Dakota Krout	Joe is transported into a virtual reality game where he discovers his abilities as a Completionist, aiming to uncover every secret and skill.	Humor, detailed world-building, game mechanics.	Like "The Legend of Zelda" meets "Ready Player One."	Heavy focus on game mechanics, occasional lack of emotional depth, slow plot progression.
28	The Divine Dungeon	Dakota Krout	The story follows a sentient dungeon core, Cal, who must grow and evolve by attracting adventurers and absorbing their energies.	Dungeon management, fantasy, unique perspective.	Like "Dungeon Keeper" meets "The Hobbit."	Lack of character interaction, repetitive dungeon management scenes, pacing issues.
29	The Destroying Plague	Dan Sugralinov	Scyth and his friends must survive while being hunted by strong clans and completing impossible quests in the world of Disgardium.	Post-apocalyptic, survival, RPG mechanics.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Walking Dead."	Dark tone, graphic violence, slow pacing.
30	Adventurer Academy: Greyblood	Daniel Prince	A young adventurer trains at an academy, mastering skills and navigating quests in a game-like world.	Fantasy, academy, RPG mechanics.	Like "Harry Potter" meets "The Land."	Slow pacing, repetitive elements, complex mechanics.
31	Shadow Sun Progression	Dave Willmarth	Sol, leader of the Shadow Sun Organization, must hunt down a ghastly creature and strengthen the human race through missions and training.	Post-apocalyptic, strategy, RPG mechanics.	Like "Fallout" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, complex mechanics, slow pacing.
32	Dodge Tank	David R. Bernstein	A gamer navigates a VR world where dodging is key to survival, facing quests and challenges.	VR immersion, fantasy, adventure.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Land."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
33	Desert Runner	Dawn Chapman	A protagonist navigates a post-apocalyptic desert world filled with quests, battles, and survival challenges.	Post-apocalyptic, survival, RPG mechanics.	Like "Mad Max" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, slow pacing, complex mechanics.
34	Limitless Lands	Dean Henegar	Colonel James Raynor, a retired soldier, enters a VR game to lead armies, build kingdoms, and battle enemies in a fantasy world.	Military strategy, VR immersion, fantasy.	Like "Halo" meets "Civilization."	Military jargon, slow pacing, complex mechanics.
35	Derelict	Dean Hengar	A derelict spaceship serves as the setting for survival and exploration, with a protagonist navigating its dangers.	Sci-fi, survival, space opera.	Like "Alien" meets "Mass Effect."	Dark tone, slow pacing, complex plot.
36	God of Gnomes	Demi Harper	A gnome god guides and protects his followers in a dungeon, using strategy and divine powers.	Dungeon management, fantasy, strategy.	Like "Dungeon Keeper" meets "The Hobbit."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
37	NPCs	Drew Hayes	NPCs in a fantasy game world take up the roles of heroes to save their village and uncover the truth about their existence.	Humor, fantasy adventure, RPG elements.	Like "Wreck-It Ralph" meets "The Lord of the Rings."	Humor can be hit-or-miss, simplistic plot, lack of depth in some characters.
38	Battle Avatars	Ed White	Gamers are transported to a world where they control avatars in battles, navigating quests and challenges.	VR immersion, fantasy, adventure.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Matrix."	Dark tone, complex mechanics, slow pacing.
39	Eden's Gate	Edward Brody	Gunnar Long, a young man, is pulled into a VR game called Eden's Gate. Here, he must adapt to survive in a world filled with monsters, magic, and endless quests.	VR immersion, high fantasy, adventure.	Like "Sword Art Online" meets "The Witcher."	Slow start, repetitive questing, occasional lack of character depth.
40	Dragon's Mist: A 4X Strategy	Ember Lane	Connor wakes up naked in a new world and must build a powerful community while surviving and fighting to thrive.	Epic fantasy, strategy, survival.	Like "Civilization" meets "Dragon Age."	Slow plot, repetitive elements, complex mechanics.
41	A Will Eternal	Er Gen	Bai Xiaochun, a cowardly yet determined cultivator, seeks immortality while facing humorous and dangerous challenges.	Xianxia, cultivation, humor.	Like "Kung Fu Panda" meets "The Land."	Translation issues, humor may not appeal to all, repetitive elements.
42	I Shall Seal The Heavens	Er Gen	Meng Hao, a scholar, embarks on a journey to seal the heavens and achieve ultimate power in a mystical world.	Xianxia, cultivation, high stakes.	Like "Journey to the West" meets "The Matrix."	Translation issues, slow pacing, complex plot.
43	Hero of Thera	Eric Nylund	A gamer is offered a chance to participate in a reality-bending game with real-world consequences and endless adventure.	Fantasy, VR immersion, high stakes.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "Dungeons & Dragons."	Slow start, complex game mechanics, occasional lack of depth.
44	One More Last Time	Eric Ugland	After a tragic event, Clyde Hatchett seeks solace in a full-immersion VR game where he embarks on a new life of adventure and danger.	Fantasy adventure, VR immersion, character-driven.	Like "The Legend of Zelda" meets "Ready Player One."	Simplistic plot, slow start, occasional lack of depth.
45	The Good Guys	Eric Ugland	Montana, a regular guy, finds himself in a game-like world where he must use his wits and skills to survive and succeed.	Humor, fantasy adventure, RPG elements.	Like "The Office" meets "World of Warcraft."	Simplistic plot, juvenile humor, lack of depth in character development.
46	Death’s Mantle	Harmon Cooper	A protagonist navigates a world where death is a central theme, facing quests and challenges to survive.	Dark fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "Dark Souls" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, complex mechanics, slow pacing.
47	Dungeon Lord	Hugo Huesca	Edward Wright becomes a Dungeon Lord in a VR game, building and defending his dungeon against adventurers.	Dungeon management, VR immersion, strategy.	Like "Dungeon Keeper" meets "The Matrix."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
48	Carnal Chambers	Ivan Dragorian	A dark fantasy series where the protagonist navigates a world filled with dangerous quests and moral dilemmas.	Dark fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Witcher" meets "World of Warcraft."	Dark tone, graphic content, slow pacing.
49	Quantum Cultivation	Jace Kang	A scientist combines technology and cultivation to navigate a futuristic world filled with danger and opportunity.	Sci-fi, cultivation, progression fantasy.	Like "The Matrix" meets "The Land."	Complex mechanics, dense world-building, slow start.
50	Viridian Gate Online	James A. Hunter	Jack must upload his consciousness into a VR game to escape a dying Earth, where he faces challenges and builds a new life.	Survival, fantasy, immersive VR.	Like "Sword Art Online" meets "Fallout."	Dark and gritty tone, graphic violence, some characters lack depth.
51	Rogue Dungeon	James Hunter and Eden Hudson	Roark, a master thief, finds himself in a fantasy world where he must navigate dungeons, avoid traps, and outwit enemies to survive.	Dungeon crawling, heist elements, RPG mechanics.	Like "Ocean’s Eleven" meets "Dungeons & Dragons."	Simplistic plot, repetitive dungeon scenes, lack of character depth.
52	Sigil Online	Jeff Sproul	A hacker is forced to play a virtual reality game where he must navigate a world filled with heroes, villains, and endless challenges.	VR immersion, superhero, strategy.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Matrix."	Dark tone, complex mechanics, slow pacing.
53	Core of Fear	Jonathan Brooks	A protagonist navigates a post-apocalyptic world filled with monsters and quests, seeking to survive and thrive.	Post-apocalyptic, survival, RPG mechanics.	Like "The Walking Dead" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, graphic violence, slow pacing.
54	Bone Dungeon	Jonathan Smidt	A dungeon core navigates a fantasy world, building and defending its dungeon against adventurers.	Dungeon management, fantasy, strategy.	Like "Dungeon Keeper" meets "The Land."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
55	8-Bit Bastards	Joshua Mason	A group of gamers is transported to a world that resembles old-school video games, where they must use their knowledge to survive.	Retro gaming, fantasy, adventure.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Legend of Zelda."	Nostalgia may not appeal to all, slow pacing, repetitive elements.
56	Dragon Heart	Kirill Klevanski	Hadjar, born in a world of magic and martial arts, fights to change his fate and overcome his disadvantaged background.	Wuxia, progression fantasy, high stakes.	Like "Eragon" meets "Sword Art Online."	Translation issues, intense drama, slow start.
57	Fair Quest	Kit Falbo	A protagonist navigates a fantasy world focused on crafting and building, using skills to overcome challenges.	Crafting, fantasy, RPG mechanics.	Like "Minecraft" meets "The Land."	Slow start, complex mechanics, minimal action.
58	The Ripple System	Kyle Kirrin	A gamer finds himself in a world where he can influence reality through game-like mechanics, with far-reaching consequences.	High stakes, game mechanics, strategy.	Like "The Witcher" meets "The Matrix."	Slow pacing, complex game mechanics, occasional lack of character depth.
59	Reborn: Apocalypse	L.M. Kerr	Michael is given a second chance at life in a game-like world after an apocalypse, where he must survive, level up, and prevent future catastrophes.	Time travel, survival, RPG mechanics.	Like "Groundhog Day" meets "The Walking Dead."	Time travel can be confusing, repetitive plot points, dark tone.
60	Ascend Online	Luke Chmilenko	Marcus and his friends are transported into a full-immersion virtual reality game where they must adapt quickly to survive and thrive in a world filled with magic and monsters.	High fantasy, immersive VR, character progression.	Like "Sword Art Online" meets "Lord of the Rings."	Lengthy exposition, slow plot progression, focus on game mechanics over character development.
61	The World	Magic Dome Books	A young man is transported to a game-like world where he must use his wits and skills to survive and uncover the world's secrets.	Fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "World of Warcraft."	Slow pacing, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
62	The World	Magic Dome Books	A young man is transported to a game-like world where he must use his wits and skills to survive and uncover the world's secrets.	Fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "World of Warcraft."	Slow pacing, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
63	Dungeon Crawler Carl	Matt Dinniman	After Earth is destroyed, Carl and his cat Donut are thrust into a deadly dungeon-crawling game where survival is the key.	Post-apocalyptic, dark humor, dungeon crawling.	Like "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" meets "The Running Man" in a D&D campaign.	Dark humor might not appeal to everyone, graphic violence, irreverent tone.
64	The City and the Dungeon	Matthew Schmidt	A young adventurer seeks to make his mark by exploring a vast dungeon filled with monsters, treasures, and mysteries.	Dungeon crawling, fantasy, adventure.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "Dungeons & Dragons."	Simplistic plot, slow pacing, repetitive elements.
65	Countdown	Michael Atamanov	A gamer is transported to a world where he must navigate quests, battles, and political intrigue to survive.	VR immersion, fantasy, adventure.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Land."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
66	Reality Benders	Michael Atamanov	Gnat is chosen as a Player in a galaxy-wide game where the stakes are real, and he must navigate politics, battles, and quests.	Sci-fi, space opera, strategy.	Like "Ender's Game" meets "Mass Effect."	Translation issues, complex game mechanics, lack of character development.
67	The Dark Herbalist	Michael Atamanov	Tim becomes an herbalist in a virtual reality game, uncovering hidden potential and facing unexpected dangers.	Crafting, exploration, fantasy adventure.	Like "RuneScape" meets "Avatar."	Translation issues, heavy focus on crafting, pacing can be slow.
68	Emerilia	Michael Chatfield	Earth's population is unknowingly part of a simulation, and once aware, they must navigate and master this virtual world.	Sci-fi, virtual reality, world-building.	Like "The Matrix" meets "Ready Player One."	Repetitive plot points, overemphasis on simulation aspects, pacing issues.
69	The Ten Realms	Michael Chatfield	Two friends are transported to a game-like world with ten realms, where they must survive, level up, and uncover the world's secrets.	Fantasy, VR immersion, adventure.	Like "Sword Art Online" meets "The Land."	Slow pacing, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
70	The Trapped Mind Project	Michael Chatfield	Austin Ziegler is trapped in a VR game where he must fight to survive and find a way back to the real world.	Survival, VR immersion, adventure.	Like "The Matrix" meets "The Hunger Games."	Slow build-up, repetitive elements, occasional pacing issues.
71	Heretical Fishing	Mochi	A fisherman discovers a strange, game-like world where he must balance his love for fishing with the dangers and opportunities that arise.	Slice of life, adventure, light-hearted.	Like "Animal Crossing" meets "The Legend of Zelda."	Slow plot, niche focus on fishing, light-hearted tone may not appeal to all.
72	Inheritance	Morgan Cole	Jake discovers secrets and faces aggressive aliens in an abandoned space station, fighting for survival and Earth's future.	Sci-fi, space opera, RPG mechanics.	Like "Inheritance Cycle" meets "The Matrix."	Slow start, complex mechanics, dark tone.
73	Bushido Online: The Battle Begins	Nikita Thorn	A gamer is transported to a world inspired by samurai culture, where he must navigate quests and battles to survive.	Samurai, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "Ghost of Tsushima" meets "The Land."	Complex mechanics, slow pacing, repetitive elements.
74	The Wandering Inn	pirateaba	Erin Solstice, an innkeeper from Earth, finds herself in a fantasy world where her inn becomes a gathering place for adventurers, monsters, and misfits.	Slice of life, character-driven, fantasy.	Like "Discworld" meets "Cheers."	Slow pacing, extensive world-building, lengthy chapters.
75	Goblin King	R. C. Hall	A player is transformed into a goblin king in a VR game, where he must build his kingdom and defend it against enemies.	Kingdom building, VR immersion, fantasy.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "Civilization."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
76	The Way of Etherforging	R.J. Shoke	A sci-fi LitRPG series focusing on a protagonist who navigates a futuristic world, mastering ether-based abilities.	Sci-fi, progression fantasy, RPG mechanics.	Like "The Matrix" meets "Ender's Game."	Complex mechanics, slow pacing, dense world-building.
77	Transcendental Misappropriation	Randidly Ghosthound	Randidly Ghosthound navigates a post-apocalyptic world with game-like mechanics, leveling up to survive and uncover the truth.	Post-apocalyptic, RPG mechanics, survival.	Like "Mad Max" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, repetitive elements, complex mechanics.
78	Crystal Shards Online	Rick Scott	Alex enters a VR game where he must navigate a world filled with magic, monsters, and endless quests to find his missing sister.	VR immersion, fantasy, adventure.	Like "The Matrix" meets "World of Warcraft."	Slow start, repetitive elements, occasional lack of depth.
79	Darkness Named	Riley S. Keene	A protagonist navigates a dark fantasy world filled with dangerous quests and moral dilemmas.	Dark fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Witcher" meets "World of Warcraft."	Dark tone, graphic content, slow pacing.
80	Crota	Rohan M. Vider	A protagonist navigates a fantasy world filled with magic, monsters, and quests, seeking to become a hero.	Fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "World of Warcraft."	Slow start, repetitive elements, complex mechanics.
81	Street Cultivation	Sarah Lin	Rick, a street fighter, navigates a world where cultivation meets modern-day challenges, seeking strength and survival.	Urban fantasy, cultivation, RPG mechanics.	Like "Fight Club" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, graphic violence, slow pacing.
82	Earth Tactics Advance	Scottie Futch	A young man is transported to a game-like world where he must use his tactical skills to survive and uncover the world's secrets.	Strategy, RPG mechanics, fantasy.	Like "Final Fantasy Tactics" meets "The Land."	Slow build-up, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
83	Battle Mage Farmer	Seth Ring	A mage retires to a peaceful life of farming, using magic to improve his crops and protect his land.	Slice of life, fantasy, farming.	Like "Stardew Valley" meets "The Land."	Slow pacing, light-hearted tone, minimal action.
84	Life Reset	Shemer Kuznits	Oren, a top player, is betrayed and turned into a goblin, forcing him to start over in a game world with a new perspective.	Underdog story, RPG elements, character transformation.	Like "The Hobbit" meets "The Matrix."	Slow start, protagonist's transformation can be jarring, focus on crafting may not appeal to all.
85	He Who Fights with Monsters	Shirtaloon	Jason wakes up in a world filled with magic and monsters, discovering he has unique abilities that set him apart as he navigates this new reality.	Fantasy adventure, character development, humor.	Like "The Dresden Files" meets "The Land."	Frequent use of humor can detract from serious moments, protagonist's personality can be polarizing.
86	The Favored	Simon Archer	A young man is transported to a game-like world where he must navigate a land filled with magic, monsters, and quests to become a hero.	Fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Legend of Zelda" meets "The Land."	Slow start, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
87	Continue Online: Memories	Stephan Morse	A protagonist navigates a VR world where he must balance real-life issues with game challenges.	VR immersion, fantasy, adventure.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "Sword Art Online."	Slow pacing, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
88	A Dark Path	Stuart Thaman	A dark fantasy series where the protagonist navigates a world filled with dangerous quests and moral dilemmas.	Dark fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "The Witcher" meets "World of Warcraft."	Dark tone, graphic content, slow pacing.
89	Killstreak: Respawn	Stuart Thaman	Kadorax, a top assassin, seeks revenge and regains his former glory in a world filled with dangerous enemies.	Revenge, dark fantasy, RPG mechanics.	Like "Call of Duty" meets "Re:Zero."	Dark tone, graphic violence, complex plot.
90	Blood and Cupcakes	Taj McCoy El	A baker in a game-like world uses her skills to navigate adventures, combining baking and combat.	Slice of life, fantasy, humor.	Like "Ratatouille" meets "The Land."	Light-hearted tone, slow pacing, minimal action.
91	A Gamer’s Wish	Tao Wong	A gamer gets his wish to live in a game-like world, navigating quests, battles, and leveling up.	Fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "The Land."	Simplistic plot, repetitive elements, slow pacing.
92	A Healer’s Gift	Tao Wong	A healer navigates a game-like world, using his skills to aid others and overcome challenges.	Fantasy, RPG mechanics, adventure.	Like "World of Warcraft" meets "The Land."	Slow start, repetitive elements, lack of action.
93	The System Apocalypse	Tao Wong	John Lee must navigate a world transformed by an apocalyptic event that introduces game-like mechanics, leveling up, and survival challenges.	Post-apocalyptic, survival, RPG elements.	Like "Mad Max" meets "The Land."	Repetitive leveling up, dark and gritty tone, lack of character depth.
94	Vanguard	Terry Mixon	Roland, a seasoned warrior, must navigate a world where his military skills are put to the test in a game-like environment.	Military tactics, RPG elements, survival.	Like "Halo" meets "The Land."	Military jargon can be off-putting, repetitive battle scenes, slow character development.
95	Defiance of the Fall	TheFirstDefier and JF Brink	Zac is thrust into an apocalyptic world where he must survive against monsters and other players while adapting to a new game-like reality.	Post-apocalyptic, survival, character progression.	Like "The Walking Dead" meets "The Land."	Overemphasis on leveling up, repetitive battle scenes, lack of character depth.
96	The Scattered and the Dead	Tim McBain and L.T. Vargus	A group of survivors navigate a post-apocalyptic world with game-like mechanics, battling zombies and other threats to survive.	Post-apocalyptic, survival, RPG elements.	Like "The Walking Dead" meets "The Land."	Dark tone, graphic violence, slow pacing.
97	The Arcane Survivalist	TJ Reynolds	Tyler West, a survivalist, is transported to a magical world where he must use his skills and wits to survive and thrive.	Survival, fantasy, RPG mechanics.	Like "The Revenant" meets "The Land."	Slow build-up, complex mechanics, repetitive elements.
98	Awaken Online	Travis Bagwell	Jason, a bullied teenager, finds empowerment in the virtual reality game Awaken Online, where he embraces a dark persona and rises to power.	Dark fantasy, moral ambiguity, power struggle.	Like "Ready Player One" meets "Breaking Bad."	Dark themes, morally ambiguous protagonist, slow character development.
99	Legends & Lattes	Travis Baldree	Viv, an orc barbarian, retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop, facing mundane and magical challenges.	Slice of life, fantasy, humor.	Like "Cheers" meets "The Hobbit."	Slow plot, light-hearted tone, minimal action.
100	Survival Quest	Vasily Mahanenko	Eric finds himself in the VRMMO Barliona, where he must endure a prison sentence and prove his worth in a harsh, game-like world.	Survival, crafting, VR immersion.	Like "The Shawshank Redemption" meets "Minecraft."	Translation issues, slow pacing, focus on mundane tasks.
101	The Way of the Shaman	Vasily Mahanenko	Mahan, a prisoner in a VRMMO, must navigate a complex world of magic, monsters, and quests to regain his freedom.	Survival, VR immersion, crafting.	Like "The Shawshank Redemption" meets "World of Warcraft."	Translation issues, slow pacing, repetitive elements.
102	Cradle	Will Wight	Lindon, an unsouled in a world of sacred artists, seeks to grow stronger and challenge the limitations placed upon him by society.	Martial arts, progression fantasy, cultivation.	Like "Naruto" meets "Journey to the West."	Formulaic plot, repetitive training scenes, lack of emotional depth.
103	Super Sales on Super Heroes	William D. Arand	Felix, a regular guy, gains the ability to upgrade people and objects, navigating a world of superheroes and villains.	Superhero, RPG elements, humor.	Like "The Boys" meets "Ready Player One."	Dark humor, graphic content, morally ambiguous characters.
104	Desolate Era	Wo Chi Xi Hong Shi	Ji Ning, reborn in a fantasy world, cultivates his powers to achieve immortality and face various challenges.	Xianxia, cultivation, high stakes.	Like "Journey to the West" meets "The Land."	Translation issues, slow pacing, repetitive elements.
105	Forge of Destiny	Yrsillar	Ling Qi, a young cultivator, strives to rise in a world filled with political intrigue, martial arts, and mystical powers.	Xianxia, cultivation, progression fantasy.	Like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" meets "The Land."	Slow pacing, complex plot, repetitive elements.

^{Table formatting brought to you by ExcelToReddit}

Hello po! Asking for help kasi hindi ako masyadong maalam sa laptop specs. Gusto ko po maging sulit ang laptop kasi stipend pa sa scholarship ko ang gagamitin ko and I really want it to be worth it.

For context, I am a college student (educ course). I’ll be using it for office productivity and web browsing. I am leaning towards 14’’ laptops para hindi hassle bitbitin.
Balak kong bilihin ay lenovo thinkpad dahil I am also after the longevity ng mga thinkpads at build quality. Lagi ko kasing dala since I am an educ student so gusto ko yung build quality ng thinkpad. Ito po yung specs:
LENOVO THINKPAD E14 Gen 5 (14’’ AMD) ₱55,435.06/len101t0068)
Processor: AMD Ryzen™ 5 7530U Processor (2.00 GHz up to 4.50 GHz)
OS: Windows 11 Pro
Graphic Card: Integrated AMD Radeon™ Graphics
Memory: 16 GB DDR4-3200MHz - (8 GB SODIMM + 8 GB Soldered)
Storage: 512 GB SSD M.2 2242 PCIe Gen4 TLC Opal
Display: 14" WUXGA (1920 x 1200), IPS, Anti-Glare, Non-Touch, 45%NTSC, 300 nits, 60Hz
Battery: 3 Cell Li-Polymer 57 Wh
Wala po atang included na MS Office but fine with me kasi mas gusto ko MS 365 kung sakali. Is it worth it? If ever po, may other suggestions po ba kayo?
Thank you so much po!

"Why Did Jesus Die on the Cross?"

The main reason Jesus died on the cross was to defeat Satan and set us free from his oppressive rule. Everything else that Jesus accomplished was to be understood as an aspect and consequence of this victory (e.g., Recapitulation, Moral Influence, etc.).
This understanding of why Jesus had to die is called the Christus Victor (Latin for “Christ is Victorious”) view of the atonement. But, what exactly was Christ victorious from, and why? To find out the answers to these questions, we have to turn to the Old Testament, as that's what the apostles would often allude to in order to properly teach their audience the message they were trying to convey (Rom. 15:4).
The OT is full of conflict between the Father (YHVH) and false gods, between YHVH and cosmic forces of chaos. The Psalms speak of this conflict between YHVH and water monsters of the deeps (an ancient image for chaos) (Psa. 29:3-4; 74:10-14; 77:16, 19; 89:9-10; 104:2-9, etc).
The liberation of Israel from Egypt wasn’t just a conflict between Pharaoh and Moses. It was really between YHVH and the false gods of Egypt.
Regardless of whether you think the aforementioned descriptions are literal or metaphorical, the reality that the Old Testament describes is that humanity lived in a “cosmic war zone.”
The Christus Victor motif is about Christ reigning victorious over wicked principalities and Satan's kingdom, and is strongly emphasized throughout the New Testament. Scripture declares that Jesus came to drive out "the prince of this world” (John 12:31), to “destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8), to “destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil” (Heb. 2:14) and to “put all enemies under his feet” (1 Cor 15:25). Jesus came to overpower the “strong man” (Satan) who held the world in bondage and worked with his Church to plunder his "palace" (Luke 11:21-22). He came to end the reign of the cosmic “thief” who seized the world to “steal, and to kill, and to destroy” the life YHVH intended for us (John 10:10). Jesus came and died on the cross to disarm “the principalities and powers” and make a “shew of them openly [i.e., public spectacle]” by “triumphing over them in [the cross]” (Col. 2:15).
Beyond these explicit statements, there are many other passages that express the Christus Victor motif as well. For example, the first prophecy in the Bible foretells that a descendent of Eve (Jesus) would crush the head of the serpent (Gen. 3:15). The first Christian sermon ever preached proclaimed that Jesus in principle conquered all YHVH's enemies (Acts 2:32-36). And the single most frequently quoted Old Testament passage by New Testament authors is Psalm 110:1 which predicts that Christ would conquer all YHVH’s opponents. (Psalm 110 is quoted or alluded to in Matthew 22:41-45; 26:64, Mark 12:35-37; 14:62, Luke 20:41-44; 22:69, Acts 5:31; 7:55-56, Romans 8:34, 1st Corinthians 15:22-25, Ephesians 1:20, Hebrews 1:3; 1:13; 5:6, 10; 6:20; 7:11, 15, 17, 21; 8:1; 10:12-13, 1st Peter 3:22, and Revelation 3:21.) According to New Testament scholar Oscar Cullman, the frequency with which New Testament authors cite this Psalm is the greatest proof that Christ’s “victory over the angel powers stands at the very center of early Christian thought.”
Because of man's rebellion, the Messiah's coming involved a rescue mission that included a strategy for vanquishing the powers of darkness.
Since YHVH is a God of love who gives genuine “say-so” to both angels and humans, YHVH rarely accomplishes His providential plans through coercion. YHVH relies on His infinite wisdom to achieve His goals. Nowhere is YHVH's wisdom put more on display than in the manner in which He outsmarted Satan and the powers of evil, using their own evil to bring about their defeat.
Most readers probably know the famous story from ancient Greece about the Trojan Horse. To recap the story, Troy and Greece had been locked in a ten-year-long vicious war when, according to Homer and Virgil, the Greeks came up with a brilliant idea. They built an enormous wooden horse, hid soldiers inside and offered it to the Trojans as a gift, claiming they were conceding defeat and going home. The delighted Trojans accepted the gift and proceeded to celebrate by drinking themselves into a drunken stupor. When night came and the Trojan warriors were too wasted to fight, the Greeks exited the horse, unlocked the city gates to quietly let all their compatriots in, and easily conquered the city, thus winning the war.
Historians debate whether any of this actually happened. But either way, as military strategies go, it’s brilliant.
Now, there are five clues in the New Testament that suggest YHVH was using something like this Trojan Horse strategy against the powers when he sent Jesus into the world:
1) The Bible tells us that YHVH's victory over the powers of darkness was achieved by the employment of YHVH’s wisdom, and was centered on that wisdom having become reality in Jesus Christ (Rom. 16:25, 1 Cor. 2:7, Eph. 3:9-10, Col. 1:26). It also tells us that, for some reason, this Christ-centered wisdom was kept “secret and hidden” throughout the ages. It’s clear from this that YHVH's strategy was to outsmart and surprise the powers by sending Jesus.
2) While humans don’t generally know Jesus’ true identity during his ministry, demons do. They recognize Jesus as the Son of God, the Messiah, but, interestingly enough, they have no idea what he’s doing (Mark 1:24; 3:11; 5:7, Luke 8:21). Again, the wisdom of YHVH in sending Jesus was hidden from them.
3) We’re told that, while humans certainly share in the responsibility for the crucifixion, Satan and the powers were working behind the scenes to bring it about (John 13:27 cf. 1 Cor. 2:6-8). These forces of evil helped orchestrate the crucifixion.
4) We’re taught that if the “princes of this world [age]” had understood the secret wisdom of YHVH, “they would not have crucified the Lord of glory” (1 Cor 2:8 cf. vss 6-7). Apparently, Satan and the powers regretted orchestrating Christ’s crucifixion once they learned of the wisdom of YHVH that was behind it.
5) Finally, we can begin to understand why the powers came to regret crucifying “the Lord of glory” when we read that it was by means of the crucifixion that the “handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us [i.e., the charge of our legal indebtedness]” was “[taken] out of the way [i.e., canceled]” as the powers were disarmed. In this way Christ “triumph[ed] over” the powers by "his cross” and even “made a shew of them openly” (Col. 2:14-15). Through Christ’s death and resurrection YHVH's enemies were vanquished and placed under his Messiah's feet, and ultimately His own in the end (1 Cor. 15:23-28).
Putting these five clues together, we can discern YHVH's Trojan Horse strategy in sending Jesus.
The powers couldn’t discern why Jesus came because YHVH's wisdom was hidden from them. YHVH's wisdom was motivated by unfathomable love, and since Satan and the other powers were evil, they lacked the capacity to understand it. Their evil hearts prevented them from suspecting what YHVH was up to.
What the powers did understand was that Jesus was mortal. This meant he was killable. Lacking the capacity to understand that this was the means by which YHVH would ultimately bring about the defeat of death (and thus, pave the road for the resurrection itself), they never suspected that making Jesus vulnerable to their evil might actually be part of YHVH's infinitely wise plan.
And so they took the bait (or "ransom"; Matt. 20:28, Mark 10:45, 1 Tim. 2:5-6). Utilizing Judas and other willing human agents, the powers played right into YHVH’s secret plan and orchestrated the crucifixion of the Messiah (Acts 2:22-23; 4:28). YHVH thus brilliantly used the self-inflicted incapacity of evil to understand love against itself. And, like light dispelling darkness, the unfathomably beautiful act of YHVH's love in sending the willing Messiah as a "ransom" to these blood-thirsty powers defeated them. The whole creation was in principle freed and reconciled to YHVH, while everything written against us humans was nailed to the cross, thus robbing the powers of the only legal claim they had on us. They were “spoiled [i.e., disempowered]” (Col. 2:14-15).
As happened to the Trojans in accepting the gift from the Greeks, in seizing on Christ’s vulnerability and orchestrating his crucifixion, the powers unwittingly cooperated with YHVH to unleash the one power in the world that dispels all evil and sets captives free. It’s the power of self-sacrificial love.

Why Penal Substitution Is Unbiblical

For the sake of keeping this already lengthy post as short as possible I'm not going to spend too much time on why exactly PSA (Penal Substitutionary Atonement) is inconsistent with Scripture, but I'll go ahead and point out the main reasons why I believe this is so, and let the reader look further into this subject by themselves, being that there are many resources out there which have devoted much more time than I ever could here in supporting this premise.

"Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:"-1 Corinthians 5:7

The Passover is one of the two most prominent images in the New Testament given as a comparison to Christ's atonement and what it accomplished, (the other most common image being the Day of Atonement sacrifice).
In the Passover, the blood of the lamb on the door posts of the Hebrews in the book of Exodus was meant to mark out those who were YHVH's, not be a symbol of PSA, as the lamb itself was not being punished by God in place of the Hebrews, but rather the kingdom of Egypt (and thus, allegorically speaking, the kingdom of darkness which opposed YHVH) was what was being judged and punished, because those who were not "covered" by the blood of the lamb could be easily identified as not part of God's kingdom/covenant and liberated people.
Looking at the Day of Atonement sacrifice (which, again, Christ's death is repeatedly compared to throughout the New Testament), this ritual required a ram, a bull, and two goats (Lev. 16:3-5). The ram was for a burnt offering intended to please God (Lev. 16:3-4). The bull served as a sin offering for Aaron, the high priest, and his family. In this case, the sin offering restored the priest to ritual purity, allowing him to occupy sacred space and be near YHVH’s presence. Two goats taken from "the congregation” were needed for the single sin offering for the people (Lev. 16:5). So why two goats?
The high priest would cast lots over the two goats, with one chosen as a sacrifice “for the Lord” (Lev. 16:8). The blood of that goat would purify the people. The second goat was not sacrificed or designated “for the Lord.” On the contrary, this goat—the one that symbolically carried the sins away from the camp of Israel into the wilderness—was “for Azazel” (Lev. 16:8-10).
What—or who—is Azazel?
The Hebrew term azazel (עזאזל) occurs four times in Leviticus 16 but nowhere else in most people's canon of the Bible, (and I say "most people's canon," because some people do include 1 Enoch in their canon of Scripture, which of course goes into great detail about this "Azazel" figure). Many translations prefer to translate the term as a phrase, “the goat that goes away,” which is the same idea conveyed in the King James Version’s “scapegoat.” Other translations treat the word as a name: Azazel. The “scapegoat” option is possible, but since the phrase “for Azazel” parallels the phrase “for YHVH” (“for the Lord”), the wording suggests that two divine figures are being contrasted by the two goats.
A strong case can be made for translating the term as the name Azazel. Ancient Jewish texts show that Azazel was understood as a demonic figure associated with the wilderness. The Mishnah (ca. AD 200; Yoma 6:6) records that the goat for Azazel was led to a cliff and pushed over, ensuring it would not return with its death. This association of the wilderness with evil is also evident in the New Testament, as this was where Jesus met the devil (Matt. 4:1). Also, in Leviticus 17:1-7 we learn that some Israelites had been accustomed to sacrificing offerings to "devils" (alternatively translated as “goat demons”). The Day of Atonement replaced this illegitimate practice.
The second goat was not sent into the wilderness as a sacrifice to a foreign god or demon. The act of sending the live goat out into the wilderness, which was unholy ground, was to send the sins of the people where they belonged—to the demonic domain. With one goat sacrificed to bring purification and access to YHVH and one goat sent to carry the people’s sins to the demonic domain, this annual ritual reinforced the identity of the true God and His mercy and holiness.
When Jesus died on the cross for all of humanity’s sins, he was crucified outside the city, paralleling the sins of the people being cast to the wilderness via the goat to Azazel. Jesus died once for all sinners, negating the need for this ritual.
As previously stated, the goat which had all the sin put on it was sent alive off to the wilderness, while the blood of the goat which was blameless was used to purify the temple and the people. Penal substitution would necessitate the killing of the goat which had the sin put on it.
Mind you, this is the only sacrificial ritual of any kind in the Torah in which sins are placed on an animal. The only time it happens is this, and that animal is not sacrificed. Most PSA proponents unwittingly point to this ritual as evidence of their view, despite it actually serving as evidence to the contrary, because most people don't read their Old Testament and don't familiarize themselves with the "boring parts" like Leviticus (when it's actually rather important to do so, since that book explains how exactly animal offerings were to be carried out and why they were done in the first place).
In the New Testament, Christ's blood was not only meant to mark out those who were his, but also expel the presence of sin and ritual uncleanness so as to make the presence of YHVH manifest in the believer's life. Notice how God's wrath isn't poured out on Christ in our stead on this view, but rather His wrath was poured out on those who weren't covered, and the presence of sin and evil were merely removed by that which is pure and blameless (Christ's blood) for the believer.
All this is the difference between expiation and propitiation.

The Content of Paul's Gospel Message

When the New Testament writers talked about “the gospel,” they referred not to the Protestant doctrine of justification sola fide–the proposition that if we will stop trying to win God’s favor and only just believe that God has exchanged our sin for Christ’s perfect righteousness, then in God’s eyes we will have the perfect righteousness required both for salvation and for assuaging our guilty consciences–but rather they referred to the simple but explosive proposition Kyrios Christos, “Christ is Lord.” That is to say, the gospel was, properly speaking, the royal announcement that Jesus of Nazareth was the God of Israel’s promised Messiah, the King of kings and Lord of lords.
The New Testament writers were not writing in a cultural or linguistic vacuum and their language of euangelion (good news) and euangelizomai would have been understood by their audience in fairly specific ways. Namely, in the Greco-Roman world for which the New Testament authors wrote, euangelion/euangelizomai language typically had to do with either A) the announcement of the accession of a ruler, or B) the announcement of a victory in battle, and would probably have been understood along those lines.
Let’s take the announcements of a new ruler first. The classic example of such a language is the Priene Calendar Inscription, dating to circa 9 BC, which celebrates the rule (and birthday) of Caesar Augustus as follows:
"It was seeming to the Greeks in Asia, in the opinion of the high priest Apollonius of Menophilus Azanitus: Since Providence, which has ordered all things of our life and is very much interested in our life, has ordered things in sending Augustus, whom she filled with virtue for the benefit of men, sending him as a savior [soter] both for us and for those after us, him who would end war and order all things, and since Caesar by his appearance [epiphanein] surpassed the hopes of all those who received the good tidings [euangelia], not only those who were benefactors before him, but even the hope among those who will be left afterward, and the birthday of the god [he genethlios tou theou] was for the world the beginning of the good tidings [euangelion] through him; and Asia resolved it in Smyrna."
The association of the term euangelion with the announcement of Augustus’ rule is clear enough and is typical of how this language is used elsewhere. To give another example, Josephus records that at the news of the accession of the new emperor Vespasian (69 AD) “every city kept festival for the good news (euangelia) and offered sacrifices on his behalf.” (The Jewish War, IV.618). Finally, a papyrus dating to ca. 498 AD begins:
"Since I have become aware of the good news (euangeliou) about the proclamation as Caesar (of Gaius Julius Verus Maximus Augustus)…"
This usage occurs also in the Septuagint, the Greek translations of the Jewish Scriptures. For instance LXX Isaiah 52:7 reads, “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news (euangelizomenou), who publishes peace, who brings good news (euangelizomenos) of salvation, who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns.'" Similarly, LXX Isaiah 40:9-10 reads:

"…Go up on a high mountain, you who bring good tidings (ho euangelizomenos) to Sion; lift up your voice with strength, you who bring good tidings (ho euangelizomenos); lift it up, do not fear; say to the cities of Ioudas, “See your God!” Behold, the Lord comes with strength, and his arm with authority (kyrieias)…."-NETS, Esaias 40:9-10

This consistent close connection between euangelion/euangelizomai language and announcements of rule strongly suggests that many of the initial hearers/readers of the early Christians’ evangelical language would likely have understood that language as the announcement of a new ruler (see, e.g., Acts 17:7), and, unless there is strong NT evidence to the contrary, we should presume that the NT writers probably intended their language to be so understood.
However, the other main way in which euangelion/euangelizomai language was used in the Greco-Roman world was with reference to battle reports, announcements of victory in war. A classic example of this sort of usage can be found in LXX 2 Samuel 18:19ff, where David receives word that his traitorous son, Absalom, has been defeated in battle. Euangelion/euangelizomai is used throughout the passage for the communications from the front.
As already shown throughout this post, the NT speaks of Jesus’s death and resurrection as a great victory over the powers that existed at that time and, most importantly, over death itself. Jesus’ conquest of the principalities and powers was the establishment of his rule and comprehensive authority over heaven and earth, that is, of his Lordship over all things (again, at that time).
This was the content of Paul's gospel message...

Justification, and the "New" Perspective on Paul

The following quotation is from The Gospel Coalition, and I believe it to be a decently accurate summary of the NPP (New Perspective on Paul), despite it being from a source which is in opposition to it:

The New Perspective on Paul, a major scholarly shift that began in the 1980s, argues that the Jewish context of the New Testament has been wrongly understood and that this misunderstand[ing] has led to errors in the traditional-Protestant understanding of justification. According to the New Perspective, the Jewish systems of salvation were not based on works-righteousness but rather on covenantal nomism, the belief that one enters the people of God by grace and stays in through obedience to the covenant. This means that Paul could not have been referring to works-righteousness by his phrase “works of the law”; instead, he was referring to Jewish boundary markers that made clear who was or was not within the people of God. For the New Perspective, this is the issue that Paul opposes in the NT. Thus, justification takes on two aspects for the New Perspective rather than one; initial justification is by faith (grace) and recognizes covenant status (ecclesiology), while final justification is partially by works, albeit works produced by the Spirit.

I believe what's called the "new perspective" is actually rather old, and that the Reformers' view of Paul is what is truly new, being that the Lutheran understanding of Paul is simply not Biblical.
The Reformation perspective understands Paul to be arguing against a legalistic Jewish culture that seeks to earn their salvation through works. However, supporters of the NPP argue that Paul has been misread. We contend he was actually combating Jews who were boasting because they were God's people, the "elect" or the "chosen ones." Their "works," so to speak, were done to show they were God's covenant people and not to earn their salvation.
The key questions involve Paul’s view(s) of the law and the meaning of the controversy in which Paul was engaged. Paul strongly argued that we are “justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law” (Gal. 2:16b). Since the time of Martin Luther, this has been understood as an indictment of legalistic efforts to merit favor before God. Judaism was cast in the role of the medieval "church," and so Paul’s protests became very Lutheran, with traditional-Protestant theology reinforced in all its particulars (along with its limitations) as a result. In hermeneutical terms, then, the historical context of Paul’s debate will answer the questions we have about what exactly the apostle meant by the phrase "works of the law," along with other phrases often used as support by the Reformers for their doctrine of Sola Fide (justification by faith alone), like when Paul mentions "the righteousness of God."
Obviously an in-depth analysis of the Pauline corpus and its place in the context of first-century Judaism would take us far beyond the scope of this brief post. We can, however, quickly survey the topography of Paul’s thought in context, particularly as it has emerged through the efforts of recent scholarship, and note some salient points which may be used as the basis of a refurbished soteriology.
[Note: The more popular scholars associated with the NPP are E.P. Sanders, James Dunn, and N.T. Wright. Dunn was the first to coin the term "The New Perspective" in a 1983 Manson Memorial Lecture, The New Perspective on Paul and the Law.]
Varying authors since the early 1900's have brought up the charge that Paul was misread by those in the tradition of Martin Luther and other Protestant Reformers. Yet, it wasn't until E.P. Sanders' 1977 book, Paul and Palestinian Judaism, that scholars began to pay much attention to the issue. In his book, Sanders argues that the Judaism of Paul's day has been wrongly criticized as a religion of "works-salvation" by those in the Protestant tradition.
A fundamental premise in the NPP is that Judaism was actually a religion of grace. Sander's puts it clearly:
"On the point at which many have found the decisive contrast between Paul and Judaism - grace and works - Paul is in agreement with Palestinian Judaism... Salvation is by grace but judgment is according to works'...God saves by grace, but... within the framework established by grace he rewards good deeds and punishes transgression." (Paul and Palestinian Judaism, p. 543)
N.T. Wright adds that, "we have misjudged early Judaism, especially Pharisaism, if we have thought of it as an early version of Pelagianism," (Wright, What Saint Paul Really Said, p. 32).
Sanders has coined a now well-known phrase to describe the character of first-century Palestinian Judaism: “covenantal nomism.” The meaning of “covenantal nomism” is that human obedience is not construed as the means of entering into God’s covenant. That cannot be earned; inclusion within the covenant body is by the grace of God. Rather, obedience is the means of maintaining one’s status within the covenant. And with its emphasis on divine grace and forgiveness, Judaism was never a religion of legalism.
If covenantal nomism was operating as the primary category under which Jews understood the Law, then when Jews spoke of obeying commandments, or when they required strict obedience of themselves and fellow Jews, it was because they were "keeping the covenant," rather than out of legalism.
More recently, N.T. Wright has made a significant contribution in his little book, What Saint Paul Really Said. Wright’s focus is the gospel and the doctrine of justification. With incisive clarity he demonstrates that the core of Paul’s gospel was not justification by faith, but the death and resurrection of Christ and his exaltation as Lord. The proclamation of the gospel was the proclamation of Jesus as Lord, the Messiah who fulfilled Israel’s expectations. Romans 1:3-4, not 1:16-17, is the gospel, contrary to traditional thinking. Justification is not the center of Paul’s thought, but an outworking of it:
"[T]he doctrine of justification by faith is not what Paul means by ‘the gospel’. It is implied by the gospel; when the gospel is proclaimed, people come to faith and so are regarded by God as members of his people. But ‘the gospel’ is not an account of how people get saved. It is, as we saw in an earlier chapter, the proclamation of the lordship of Jesus Christ….Let us be quite clear. ‘The gospel’ is the announcement of Jesus’ lordship, which works with power to bring people into the family of Abraham, now redefined around Jesus Christ and characterized solely by faith in him. ‘Justification’ is the doctrine which insists that all those who have this faith belong as full members of this family, on this basis and no other." (pp. 132, 133)
Wright brings us to this point by showing what “justification” would have meant in Paul’s Jewish context, bound up as it was in law-court terminology, eschatology, and God’s faithfulness to God’s covenant.
Specifically, Wright explodes the myth that the pre-Christian Saul was a pious, proto-Pelagian moralist seeking to earn his individual passage into heaven. Wright capitalizes on Paul’s autobiographical confessions to paint rather a picture of a zealous Jewish nationalist whose driving concern was to cleanse Israel of Gentiles as well as Jews who had lax attitudes toward the Torah. Running the risk of anachronism, Wright points to a contemporary version of the pre-Christian Saul: Yigal Amir, the zealous Torah-loyal Jew who assassinated Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin for exchanging Israel’s land for peace. Wright writes:
"Jews like Saul of Tarsus were not interested in an abstract, ahistorical system of salvation... They were interested in the salvation which, they believed, the one true God had promised to his people Israel." (pp. 32, 33)
Wright maintains that as a Christian, Paul continued to challenge paganism by taking the moral high ground of the creational monotheist. The doctrine of justification was not what Paul preached to the Gentiles as the main thrust of his gospel message; it was rather “the thing his converts most needed to know in order to be assured that they really were part of God’s people” after they had responded to the gospel message.
Even while taking the gospel to the Gentiles, however, Paul continued to criticize Judaism “from within” even as he had as a zealous Pharisee. But whereas his mission before was to root out those with lax attitudes toward the Torah, now his mission was to demonstrate that God’s covenant faithfulness (righteousness) has already been revealed in Jesus Christ.
At this point Wright carefully documents Paul’s use of the controversial phrase “God’s righteousness” and draws out the implications of his meaning against the background of a Jewish concept of justification. The righteousness of God and the righteousness of the party who is “justified” cannot be confused because the term bears different connotations for the judge than for the plaintiff or defendant. The judge is “righteous” if his or her judgment is fair and impartial; the plaintiff or defendant is “righteous” if the judge rules in his or her favor. Hence:
"If we use the language of the law court, it makes no sense whatsoever to say that the judge imputes, imparts, bequeaths, conveys or otherwise transfers his righteousness to either the plaintiff or the defendant. Righteousness is not an object, a substance or a gas which can be passed across the courtroom. For the judge to be righteous does not mean that the court has found in his favor. For the plaintiff or defendant to be righteous does not mean that he or she has tried the case properly or impartially. To imagine the defendant somehow receiving the judge’s righteousness is simply a category mistake. That is not how the language works." (p. 98)
However, Wright makes the important observation that even with the forensic metaphor, Paul’s theology is not so much about the courtroom as it is about God’s love.
Righteousness is not an impersonal, abstract standard, a measuring-stick or a balancing scale. That was, and still is, a Greek view. Righteousness, Biblically speaking, grows out of covenant relationship. We forgive because we have been forgiven (Matt. 18:21-35); “we love" because God “first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Love is the fulfillment of the law (Rom. 13:8, 10, Gal 5:14, Jam. 2:8). Paul even looked forward to a day when “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Cor. 5:10), and he acknowledged that his clear conscience did not necessarily ensure this verdict (1 Cor. 4:4), but he was confident nevertheless. Paul did in fact testify of his clear conscience: “For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation [i.e., behavior] in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward” (2 Cor. 1:12). He was aware that he had not yet “attained” (Phil. 3:12-14), that he still struggled with the flesh, yet he was confident of the value of his performance (1 Cor. 9:27). These are hardly the convictions of someone who intends to rest entirely on the merits of an alien righteousness imputed to his or her account.
Wright went on to flesh out the doctrine of justification in Galatians, Philippians, and Romans. The “works of the law” are not proto-Pelagian efforts to earn salvation, but rather “sabbath [keeping], food-laws, circumcision” (p. 132). Considering the controversy in Galatia, Wright writes:
"Despite a long tradition to the contrary, the problem Paul addresses in Galatians is not the question of how precisely someone becomes a Christian, or attains to a relationship with God….The problem he addresses is: should his ex-pagan converts be circumcised or not? Now this question is by no means obviously to do with the questions faced by Augustine and Pelagius, or by Luther and Erasmus. On anyone’s reading, but especially within its first-century context, it has to do quite obviously with the question of how you define the people of God: are they to be defined by the badges of Jewish race, or in some other way? Circumcision is not a ‘moral’ issue; it does not have to do with moral effort, or earning salvation by good deeds. Nor can we simply treat it as a religious ritual, then designate all religious ritual as crypto-Pelagian good works, and so smuggle Pelagius into Galatia as the arch-opponent after all. First-century thought, both Jewish and Christian, simply doesn’t work like that…. [T]he polemic against the Torah in Galatians simply will not work if we ‘translate’ it into polemic either against straightforward self-help moralism or against the more subtle snare of ‘legalism’, as some have suggested. The passages about the law only work — and by ‘work’ I mean they will only make full sense in their contexts, which is what counts in the last analysis — when we take them as references to the Jewish law, the Torah, seen as the national charter of the Jewish race." (pp. 120-122)
The debate about justification, then, “wasn’t so much about soteriology as about ecclesiology; not so much about salvation as about the church.” (p. 119)
To summarize the theology of Paul in his epistles, the apostle mainly spent time arguing to those whom he were sending letters that salvation in Christ was available to all men without distinction. Jews and Gentiles alike may accept the free gift; it was not limited to any one group. Paul was vehement about this, especially in his letter to the Romans. As such, I will finish this post off by summarizing the letter itself, so as to provide Biblical support for the premises of the NPP and for what the scholars I referenced have thus far argued.
After his introduction in the epistle to an already believing and mostly Gentile audience (who would've already been familiar with the gospel proclaimed in verses 3-4), Paul makes a thematic statement in 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.” This statement is just one of many key statements littered throughout the book of Romans that give us proper understanding of the point Paul wished to make to the interlocutors of his day, namely, salvation is available to all, whether Jew or Gentile.
In 1:16 Paul sets out a basic theme of his message in the letter to the Romans. All who believed, whether they be Jew or Gentile, were saved by the power of the gospel. The universal nature of salvation was explicitly stated. The gospel saved all without distinction, whether Jew or Greek; salvation was through the gospel of Jesus Christ. Immediately after this thematic declaration, Paul undertakes to show the universal nature of sin and guilt. In 1:18-32 Paul shows how the Gentile is guilty before God. Despite evidence of God and his attributes, which is readily available to all, they have failed to honor YHVH as God and have exchanged His glory for idolatrous worship and self-promotion. As a consequence, God handed them over in judgment (1:18-32). Paul moves to denunciation of those who would judge others while themselves being guilty of the very same offenses (2:1-5) and argues that all will be judged according to their deeds (2:6). This judgment applies to all, namely, Jew and Greek (2:9-10). This section serves as somewhat of a transition in Paul’s argument. He has highlighted the guilt of the Gentiles (1:18ff) and will shortly outline the guilt of the Jew (2:17-24). The universal statement of 2:1-11 sets the stage for Paul’s rebuke of Jewish presumption. It was not possession of the Law which delivered; it was faithful obedience. It is better to have no Law and yet to obey the essence of the Law (2:12-16) than to have the Law and not obey (2:17-3:4). Paul then defends the justice of God’s judgment (3:5-8), which leads to the conclusion that all (Jew and Gentile) are guilty before God (3:9).
Paul argues that it was a mistaken notion to think that salvation was the prerogative of the Jew only. This presumption is wrong for two reasons. First, it leads to the mistaken assumption that only Jews were eligible for this vindication (Paul deals with this misunderstanding in chapter 4 where he demonstrates that Abraham was justified by faith independently of the Law and is therefore the father of all who believe, Jew and Gentile alike). Second, it leads to the equally mistaken conclusion that all who were Jews are guaranteed of vindication. Paul demonstrates how this perspective, which would call God’s integrity into question since Paul was assuming many Jews would not experience this vindication, was misguided. He did this by demonstrating that it was never the case that all physical descendants of Israel (Jacob) were likewise recipients of the promise. In the past (9:6-33) as in the present (at that time; 11:1-10), only a remnant was preserved and only a remnant would experience vindication. Paul also argued that the unbelief of national Israel (the non-remnant) had the purpose of extending the compass of salvation. The unbelief of one group made the universal scope of the gospel possible. This universalism was itself intended to bring about the vindication of the unbelieving group (11:11-16). As a result of faith, all (Jew and Gentile) could be branches of the olive tree (11:17-24). Since faith in Christ was necessary to remain grafted into the tree, no one could boast of his position. All, Jew and Gentile alike, were dependent upon the mercy and grace of God. As a result of God’s mysterious plan, He would bring about the vindication of His people (11:25-27). [Note: It is this author's belief that this vindication occurred around 66-70 AD, with the Parousia of Christ's Church; this author is Full-Preterist in their Eschatology.]

Chapter 1
Mors
An endless void, silence interlaid with its pitch-darkness, greeted an injured man. No light can be seen, sensations be damned, and consciousness spread thin as though taut in this incomprehensive expanse that laid before him.
Callum fell into the abyss, his mind the only thing left to accompany him. He hasn’t even counted the minutes as his mind is plagued by something else. He never considered himself a man of interest, only scraping by with his odd jobs and part-time salaries, hence why he couldn’t understand his current situation.
Betrayal is something that he is familiar with, whether it be a betrayal of his expectations when a co-worker broke his promise or a betrayal of his emotions when his first love interest cheated on him back in uni. However, this betrayal orchestrated by his best friend whom he’d known for 5 years, and girlfriend for 8 years felt more gut-wrenching than the pain he felt from the stab.
Denial was the first thing that stormed his mind. He couldn’t believe that the two closest people in his life would stab him in the back, literally. There was no build-up, he didn’t suspect a thing, and everything was normal until he found steel in his flesh.
He rejected the notion that his girlfriend, Catherine, would betray him like this, an accomplice to a murder that he can’t grasp the motive of. He has built up some savings, but it isn’t something that would be worth murdering someone for, especially after buying that ring.
He dismissed the thought of Jake being jealous of their relationship as he couldn’t see the guy doing something as stupid as this. He can’t form any rhyme or reason as to why they would do it, and the only possible explanation is that this was all a dream and he was actually still sleeping inside the tent.
But as he waited for himself to wake from this nightmare, only darkness greeted him. He had tried moving his body in this sea of blackness, but the movement only felt like going through molasses with tired arms, which is why he attributed this as being only a dream that he would wake up from, which appeared to be wrong as he waited and waited.
Anxiety crept in as he tried to call out, but no sound escaped his lips. He strained his voice to be heard, yet he can't even hear himself. No light adorned this place, no wind to be heard, and he couldn’t feel anything even though he tried feeling himself.
The pain in his back was forgotten as he tried and tried to move, to scream, to flail senselessly, amounting to nothing as he was greeted by nothing.
Feeling anything in this void is something impossible, and the only thing that he can do is return to his mindscape.
He went back to his oldest memories, back to a time when everything felt oppressive and suffocating. Callum was born into a broken family. His mother and father had gone through a divorce when he was only 6 years old. He could still remember the screaming and yelling of his parents whenever night fell in their sorry state of an apartment.
His father, Eric, having not finished his education after Callum’s birth, has been living as a blue-collar worker in downtown New Jersey. Even during his day-offs, he can’t seem to find rest as he goes to do odd jobs and part-time work to stay afloat. On the other hand, his mother would leave him, a toddler, alone in the apartment.
He remembered her putting CDs in a DVD player so that it could keep his attention on a cartoon that his father introduced him to. If he had anything to describe his mother, she would be irresponsible and narcissistic. She would sometimes bring guys over to their apartment, threatening Callum with divorce if he ever told Eric about it, hence why it took several years until his dad caught on and filed for a divorce.
Eric was determined to take Callum with him, he argues that he could take care of his child better than Callum’s mother. But his mother and her twisted pride can’t let go of Callum, which leads to a legal dispute between the two.
The court hearings went on for several months, with each passing day being a lot more hellish for Callum. He was subjected to further insults by his mother as she knew that leaving bruises on her child would lower her chances of winning over the court to her side. Sometimes, she would go as far as manipulate him, gaslighting him into believing that she was a good mother who would take care of him better than his father. But after seeing that the court favors Eric’s side more, his mother took drastic measures to satisfy her wounded pride.
It was the second to the last day of the court hearing, and it was during this time that his father was working overtime. Callum had just gone home from his elementary school, feeling tired as he hauled his bag over his shoulders up the multiple flights of stairs he had to climb to get to their apartment.
As he neared his home, he steeled himself and opened the door, only to be met with overturned tables and broken ceramics. He walked quietly through the scene, afraid that someone might hear him entering his home. Looking back on it now, Calum can’t help himself but laugh at his stupidity. He could have gone and alerted their neighbors, or gone back downstairs to wait for his father, but being a child, Callum doesn’t know what to do.
As he entered his room, he saw black words spray painted on the walls, the meaning eluding him as he didn’t know what it meant since he was 7 at the time, but remembering it now sent shivers down his spine.
The words “This is what you get!” on a torn wallpaper are ingrained in his mind. Seeing the manic letters sprayed over the walls gave Callum anxiety, taking a few steps back towards the open front door of their apartment. Escape was now on his mind as he grew scared of what was to come, something that was far too late as he heard his mother behind him.
It was there that everything turned into a blur. He remembered snippets of yelling and crying both from himself and his mother. He remembered his mother forcing something down his throat. He remembered his father coming home early that day and restraining his mother, a crazy look in her eyes. He remembered the feeling of nausea and the floor colored with his lunch. And he remembered the sirens, red and blue lights dancing in his vision as he was carried to a stretcher. The last thing he remembered was his father crying, holding his hands tightly when he opened his tired eyes.
For the next few days, he learned from the news that his mother attempted a double suicide. The story goes, after losing the custody battle, the mother planned to take revenge by ending the lives of both her child and herself. They said that he got lucky as the neighbors had contacted Eric when his mother turned their home upside down, relating it to a possible home invasion. If not for him, Callum would have died from nicotine poisoning after his mother forced tobacco down his gullet, a morbid story that he uses as a joke during his time at work.
He remembered being inside that hospital for days on end, his body recovering from the poison his mother left him with, and his father was there almost every day even though he had to work to pay the hospital bills. After what felt like forever was he allowed to be discharged, going back to the same refurbished apartment that they lived in, but after seeing how Callum had recurring nightmares and trauma attached to the place, they decided to move to Pennsylvania. A hard decision that needed to be made as his father would put it.
Everything after the whole incident was better for Callum. His father got a job as a mover, still doing some part-time work here and there, and Callum did his best in school so as not to burden his father with more work. Even though they lived in a rundown shack handed to them by one of the locals, they didn’t mind as they knew that getting to live at all was better than what they had before.
Callum smiled in the abyss as he reminisced about his time with his father. He was a great man, a good role model for anyone who came across him. He is kind-hearted and considerate, a hard worker that makes him popular among his peers. It was them that helped move him and his father out of New Jersey and found them a place to sleep in, teaching Callum that socializing and connecting with like-minded people goes a long way when someone needs it.
For the next few years, Callum lived happily. Though there were some ups and downs, he and his father got through it, which is why the memory of his time in university was depressing.
Eric, after having saved some money, gave Callum the go-ahead to enroll in a university in California. But after attaining an athletic scholarship in football, Callum gave his father a surprise to ease his worries and stress. Callum felt bad every time he saw his father work, hence why he tried his hardest to take some of that workload to give him a break. With the tuition being lowered with the scholarship, Callum could give the rest of the money back to his dad. A gesture that was fully gratified as his father had a hard time letting him go when the time came to move over to the university. But it was during this time that tragedy struck.
It was his fourth year in studying anthropology when he heard the news from one of his father’s friends, Robby. After hearing it, he grew distressed and worried, taking a lot of convincing from Robby to keep Callum from moving back to Pennsylvania.
His father has gone missing. The news had spread amongst his co-workers and friends, and a search team was already being dispatched to find him. Even though Callum tried to keep his focus on studying, he couldn’t help but feel agitated as days went by without news of his father being seen. His mental state plummeted, and he grew withdrawn from reality as days turned to weeks, his father still gone.
He could still remember the times when he locked himself in the school’s library, searching the web to find any news or reports of his father's whereabouts, but as he searched for days on end, only one thing kept popping up from the newsletters. His father, Eric Hurst Foster, went missing in his own home. There were no struggles in the house, the CCTV didn’t see him on any of the roads or stores in the town they lived in, he just seemed to have vanished into thin air.
The news ate away at Callum, and his friends that he’d made during the time gave their support to keep him from spiraling out of control. However, even with their support, Callum’s worries over his dad never went away, hence why he threw himself into work. Going to part-time jobs and studying is the only way to keep his mind from blowing. He did this until he finished university and found a job to stay afloat.
This went on for years until he’s come to accept that his father may never be found. With nothing to ground him in their old home, he decided to explore the world, thinking that one day, he might find a lead to the whereabouts of his dad.
Months turned to years as he worked tirelessly in multiple jobs. From being a mechanic, electrician, cook, waiter, and many more to count, Callum went on a work frenzy. He made a plan to scour the states as a freelancer, living in his BMW pick-up truck that was given to him by one of his friends. He stayed in each state for a few months, meeting new people and making some friends along the way. They sent their well wishes to Callum as they knew that he was still trying to find his missing father.
Years went by as he made his way back to California. He had gone and explored every state, and yet no news of his father came to light. The case had gone cold, and it was up to Callum to find any clues to this mystery. His mind has told him to give up the search, and multiple friends have given him consolation as they knew that his father would never be found, but Callum persevered.
It was during this time that he found himself as a mover, the same job that his father had before he disappeared. He had just come back to California after getting the job, and he was about to go check in for his first day when a sudden downpour of rain covered the skies of the city. It was only coincidental that he was near that coffee shop, and it was coincidental that only two customers were present there. He and his future girlfriend turned accomplice to his murder.
The rest of his memories went by as he continued to float in the abyss. From the time of their first years in a relationship to meeting Jake for the first time in that apartment to when he taught PE and History in a school in Minnesota. Everything went by as Callum went from one memory to another until he felt something.
A chill ran down his spine as an indescribable dread manifested in his mind. He knew not why he felt this way, and he felt himself tearing at the seams as a slit of light showed itself in the void. He was then pulled into the light, senses coming back after he spent his time in the abyss for what felt like days. And with a flash, he is back in the same hunched-over position he was in when he was stabbed in the back.
Callum can’t help but laugh as he finally could see again. Trees surrounded his vision, with wild grass carpeting the ground. But before he could truly see the world, he felt a sharp pain in his back. With his body remembering that he was injured, he felt himself sweat profusely as he bled, painting the flowers under him red. And yet he didn’t panic.
After all that time reminiscing, he finally gave in and let death come to him. He fell on his back, sending another wave of pain coursing through his body, cursing under his breath as he regretted not laying himself down slowly. And as he looked to the sky, he felt himself getting colder and colder.
Callum felt at peace as he stared at the clouds above him. The sound of the wind and the rustling of leaves helped him come to terms that he was truly dying. He’d thought about death a lot. During his time when he was a kid, and when he was depressed after his father went missing. But the peace he felt for only a few moments as emotions came crashing down.
He felt himself tear up as he came to terms with his current situation. He would never have a chance to marry the girl in his life. He would never have a chance to have his own children and see them grow. He would never have a chance to be a father. And he would never have a chance to grow old with the people he loved around him.
As he thought of these things, the floodgates opened. Streams of tears fell down his cheeks as he sobbed in his dying state. He could only put his hands over his eyes to stop it from flowing, an action that felt challenging as his body became fatigued from all the blood loss. The crying only hastened his death as he felt his breath escape him, his lungs labored and filled with blood as the stab had punctured it.
Minutes went by as Callum felt himself grow tired and tired. And as he closed his eyes, Callum’s heart slowed and slowed as his body has a lack of blood to pump. His breathing grew shallower with each second until his body gave way and stopped altogether.
Callum died at the age of 34, stabbed in the back by his best friend with his girlfriend being an accomplice for his murder. He died from blood loss as his body colored the ground red.
Callum waited and waited to feel his consciousness fade as he welcomed death to greet him. And as the second grew…
'…Wait.'
His consciousness never faded away.

Exactly as the title says. In Season 13 when they discover Santa and all that, and anyone who enters the portal undergoes a trial to see if they're a True Warrior™...
We see Locus's trial, which is implied to be a memory, be we don't see Felix's. I don't know if Miles ever stated on Twitter back in the day, cause I know he occasionally spat out things that were either just silly headcanons (Sharkface's name) and stuff that was more canon...
I personally like to think he was faced with Locus betraying him. What do you guys think?

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BEST GRAPHIC ALBUM—REPRINT
Doctor Strange: Fall Sunrise Treasury Edition, by Tradd Moore (Marvel)
The Good Asian, by Pornsak Pichetshote and Alexandre Tefenkgi (Image)
Hip Hop Family Tree: The Omnibus, by Ed Piskor (Fantagraphics)
Orange Complete Series Box Set, by Ichigo Takano, translation by Amber Tamosaitis (Seven Seas)
Wonder Woman Historia: The Amazons, by Kelly Sue DeConnick, Phil Jimenez, Gene Ha, and Nicola Scott (DC)
BEST ADAPTATION FROM ANOTHER MEDIUM
Bea Wolf, adapted by Zach Weinersmith and Boulet (First Second/Macmillan)
DRCL midnight children, vol. 1, based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula, by Shin’ichi Sakamoto, translation by Caleb Cook (VIZ Media)
H.P. Lovecraft’s The Shadow over Innsmouth, adapted by Gou Tanabe, translation by Zack Davisson (Dark Horse Manga)
The Monkey King: The Complete Odyssey, adapted by Chaiko, translation by Dan Christensen (Magnetic)
Watership Down, by Richard Adams, adapted by James Sturm and Joe Sutphin (Ten Speed Graphic)
BEST U.S. EDITION OF INTERNATIONAL MATERIAL
Ashes, by Álvaro Ortiz, translation by Eva Ibarzabal (Top Shelf/IDW)
Blacksad, Vol 7: They All Fall Down, Part 2, by Juan Díaz Canales and Juanjo Guarnido, translation by Diana Schutz and Brandon Kander (Europe Comics)
A Boy Named Rose, by Gaëlle Geniller, translation by Fabrice Sapolsky (Fairsquare Comics)
The Great Beyond, by Léa Murawiec, translation by Aleshia Jensen (Drawn & Quarterly)
Shubeik Lubeik, by Deena Mohamed (Pantheon Books/Penguin Random House)
Spa, by Erik Svetoft, translation by Melissa Bowers (Fantagraphics)
BEST U.S. EDITION OF INTERNATIONAL MATERIAL—ASIA
DRCL midnight children, vol. 1, based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula, by Shin’ichi Sakamoto, translation by Caleb Cook (VIZ Media)
Goodbye, Eri, by Tatsuki Fujimoto, translation by Amanda Haley (VIZ Media)
The Horizon, vol. 1, by JH, translation by ULTRAMEDIA Co. Ltd. (Yen/Ize Press)
My Picture Diary, by Fujiwara Maki, translation by Ryan Holmberg (Drawn & Quarterly)
River’s Edge, by Kyoko Okazaki, translation by Alexa Frank (Kodansha)
The Summer Hikaru Died, vol. 1, by Mokumokuren, translation by Ajani Oloye (Yen Press)
BEST ARCHIVAL COLLECTION/PROJECT—STRIPS
Dauntless Dames: High-Heeled Heroes of the Comic Strips, edited by Peter Maresca and Trina Robbins (Sunday Press/Fantagraphics)
David Wright’s Carol Day: Lance Hallam, edited by Roger Clark, Chris Killackey, and Guy Mills (Slingsby Bros, Ink!)
Popeye Sundays Vol 3: The Sea Hag and Alice the Goon, by E.C. Segar, edited by Conrad Groth and Gary Groth (Fantagraphics)
Walt Disney’s Silly Symphonies 1932-1935: Starring Bucky Bug and Donald Duck and Walt Disney’s Silly Symphonies 1935-1939: Starring Donald Duck and Big Bad Wolf, edited by David Gerstein (Fantagraphics)
Where I’m Coming From, by Barbara Brandon-Croft, edited by Peggy Burns and Tracy Hurren (Drawn & Quarterly)
BEST ARCHIVAL COLLECTION/PROJECT—COMIC BOOKS
Adventures Into Terror: The Atlas Comics Library, vol. 1, edited by Michael J. Vassallo (Fantagraphics)
All-Negro Comics 75th Anniversary Edition, edited by Chris Robinson (Very GOOD Books)
The Ballad of Halo Jones Full Colour Omnibus, by Alan Moore and Ian Gibson, edited by Olivia Hicks (2000AD/Rebellion)
The John Severin Westerns Featuring American Eagle, edited by Michael Dean (Fantagraphics)
Michael Golden’s Marvel Stories Artist’s Edition, edited by Scott Dunbier (IDW)
BEST WRITER
Stephen Graham Jones, Earthdivers (IDW)
Mariko Tamaki, Roaming (Drawn & Quarterly)
Tom Taylor, Nightwing, Titans (DC)
Kelly Thompson, Birds of Prey, Harley Quinn, Black White and Redder (DC); Black Cloak, The Cull (Image); It’s Jeff, Captain Marvel (Marvel)
Mark Waid, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest, Shazam!, World’s Finest: Teen Titans (DC)
G. Willow Wilson, Poison Ivy (DC); Hunger and the Dusk (IDW)
BEST WRITEARTIST
Emily Carroll, A Guest in the House (First Second/Macmillan)
Bill Griffith, Three Rocks (Abrams ComicArts)
Daniel Warren Johnson, Transformers (Image Skybound)
Mokumokuren, The Summer Hikaru Died, vol. 1 (Yen Press)
Zoe Thorogood, Hack/Slash: Back To School (Image)
Tillie Walden, Clementine Book Two (Image Skybound)
BEST PENCILLEINKER OR PENCILLEINKER TEAM
Jason Shawn Alexander, Detective Comics (DC); Killadelphia, with Germán Erramouspe (Image)
Tula Lotay, Barnstormers: A Ballad of Love and Murder (Comixology Originals/Best Jackett)
Inaki Miranda, Godzilla: Here There Be Dragons (IDW)
Dan Mora, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest, Shazam! (DC)
Chris Samnee, Fire Power (Image Skybound)
Jillian Tamaki, Roaming (Drawn & Quarterly)
BEST PAINTEMULTIMEDIA ARTIST (INTERIOR ART)
Jason Shawn Alexander, Blacula: Return of the King (Zombie Love Studios)
Chaiko, The Monkey King (Magnetic)
Juanjo Guarnido, Blacksad, Vol 7: They All Fall Down, Part 2 (Europe Comics)
Liam Sharp, Nocterra: Nemesis Special (Best Jackett); Starhenge: The Dragon and the Boar (Image)
Martin Simmonds, Universal Monsters: Dracula (Image Skybound)
Sana Takeda, The Night Eaters: Her Little Reapers (Abrams ComicArts); Monstress (Image)
BEST COVER ARTIST
Jen Bartel, DC Pride 2023, Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #1 (DC); Captain Marvel: Dark Tempest #1, Demon Wars: Scarlet Sin #1, Scarlet Witch #9, Sensational She-Hulk (Marvel)
Evan Cagle, Detective Comics (DC)
Jenny Frison, Alice Never After #1, BRZRKR: Fallen Empire #1, and other alternate covers (BOOM! Studios); Knight Terrors: Harley Quinn #1–2, Poison Ivy #8, #12 (DC)
E. M. Gist, Expanse Dragon Tooth #1, Something Is Killing the Children #28 & #34, Wild’s End, vol 2 #4 and other alternate covers (BOOM! Studios); Amazing Spider-Man #23, Doctor Aphra #36, Moon Knight #3, Nightcrawlers #1, Wolverine #38 (Marvel)
Peach Momoko, Demon Wars: Scarlet Sin, various alternate covers (Marvel)
Dan Mora, Coda #3, Damn Them All #4, MMPR 30th Anniversary Special #1, Rare Flavours #3 and other alternate covers (BOOM! Studios); Batman/Superman: World’s Finest, Outsiders #1, Poison Ivy #9, Shazam!, Titans #1 (DC)
BEST COLORING
Jordie Bellaire, Batman, Birds of Prey (DC); Dark Spaces: Hollywood Special (IDW)
Matt Hollingsworth, Captain America, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy, Punisher (Marvel)
Lee Loughridge, Red Zone (AWA); Edgeworld, Grammaton Punch, Nostalgia (Comixology Originals); The Devil’s Cut, Gone, Somna (DSTLRY); Star Trek (IDW); Killadelphia (Image); Hunt. Kill. Repeat. (Mad Cave)
Dave McCaig, The Sacrificers (Image), The Walking Dead Deluxe (Image Skybound)
Dean White, Conan the Barbarian (Titan Comics)
BEST LETTERING
Emily Carroll, A Guest in the House (First Second/Macmillan)
Benoit Dehan and Lauren Bowes, Inside the Mind of Sherlock Holmes (Titan Comics)
Bill Griffith, Three Rocks (Abrams ComicArts)
Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou, The Unlikely Story of Felix and Macabber, The Witcher: Wild Animals, and others (Dark Horse); Batman: City of Madness, The Flash, Poison Ivy, and others (DC); Black Cat Social Club (Humanoids); Beneath the Trees Where Nobody Sees (IDW); The Cull, What’s the Furthest Place from Here? (Image); and others
Richard Starkings, Barnstormers: A Ballad of Love and Murder, Canary (Comixology Originals/Best Jackett); Parliament of Rooks (Comixology); Astro City, Battle Chasers (Image); Conan the Barbarian (Titan Comics)
Rus Wooton, Monstress, The Sacrificers (Image); Fire Power, Kroma, Transformers, The Walking Dead Deluxe, Universal Monsters: Dracula, Void Rivals (Image Skybound); Hunt. Kill. Repeat., A Legacy of Violence, Nature’s Labyrinth (Mad Cave)
BEST COMICS-RELATED PERIODICAL/JOURNALISM
The Comics Journal #309; edited by Gary Groth, Kristy Valenti, and Austin English (Fantagraphics)
“The Indirect Market,” by Brandon Schatz and Danica LeBlanc, comicsbeat.com
Rob Salkowitz, for Forbes, ICv2.com, Publishers Weekly
SKTCHD, by David Harper, www.sktchd.com
SOLRAD: The Online Literary Magazine for Comics, www.solrad.co (Fieldmouse Press)
BEST COMICS-RELATED BOOK
Bryan Talbot: Father of the British Graphic Novel, by J. D. Harlock and Bryan Talbot (Brainstorm Studios)
Confabulation: An Anecdotal Autobiography, by Dave Gibbons (Dark Horse)
Flamed Out: The Underground Adventures and Comix Genius of Willy Murphy, edited by Nicki Michaels, Ted Richards, and Mark Burstein (Fantagraphics)
I Am the Law: How Judge Dredd Predicted Our Future, by Michael Molcher (Rebellion)
The Pacific Comics Companion, by Stephan Friedt and Jon B. Cooke (TwoMorrows)
Thalamus: The Art of Dave McKean (Dark Horse)
BEST ACADEMIC/SCHOLARLY WORK
Asian Political Cartoons, by John A. Lent (University Press of Mississippi)
The Claremont Run: Subverting Gender in the X- Men, by J. Andrew Deman (University of Texas Press)
Desegregating Comics: Debating Blackness in the Golden Age of American Comics, edited by Qiana Whitted (Rutgers University Press)
If Shehrazad Drew: Critical Writings on Arab Comics, by George Khoury-Jad (Sawaf Center for Arab Comics Studies and American University of Beirut Press)
In Visible Archives: Queer and Feminist Visual Culture in the 1980s, by Margaret Galvan (University of Minnesota Press)
Super Bodies: Comic Book Illustration, Artistic Styles, and Narrative Impact, by Jeffrey A. Brown (University of Texas Press)
BEST PUBLICATION DESIGN
Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein boxed set, designed by Mike Kennedy (Magnetic)
Gratuitous Ninja, by Ronald Wimberly, designed by Chloe Scheffe (Beehive Books)
Inside the Mind of Sherlock Holmes, designed by Benoit Dahan andDonna Askem (Titan Comics)
Iron Maiden: Piece of Mind, designed by Josh Bernstein and Rob Schwager (Z2)
Toilet-bound Hanako-kun First Stall Box Set, designed by Wendy Chan (Yen Press)
BEST WEBCOMIC
Asturias: The Origin of a Flag, by Javi de Castro, https://www.javidecastro.com/asturias-the-origin-of-a-flag
Daughter of a Thousand Faces, by Vel (Velinxi), https://tapas.io/series/daughter-of-a-thousand-faces/info (Tapas)
Lore Olympus, by Rachel Smythe, https://www.webtoons.com/en/romance/lore-olympus/s3-episode-226/viewer?title_no=1320&episode_no=231 (WEBTOON)
Matchmaker, vol. 6, by Cam Marshall at https://matchmakercomic.com/. (Silver Sprocket)
3rd Voice, by Evan Dahm, https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/3rd-voice/list?title_no=828919 (WEBTOON)
Unfamiliar, by Haley Newsome: https://tapas.io/series/unfamiliainfo (Tapas)
BEST DIGITAL COMIC
Blacksad, Vol 7: They All Fall Down, Part 2. by Juan Díaz Canales and Juanjo Guarnido, translation by Diana Schutz and Brandon Kander (Europe Comics)
Friday, by Ed Brubaker and Marcos Martin, vols. 7–8 (Panel Syndicate)
Parliament of Rooks, by Abigail Jill Harding (Comixology Originals)
Practical Defense Against Piracy, by Tony Cliff (delilahdirk.com)
A Witch’s Guide to Burning, by Aminder Dhaliwal (Instagram.com/aminder_d)

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Visitor's Guide for more things to do around town!
Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.
Be sure to continue scrolling past the Weekly Events for Trivia Nights, Live Music, Sporting Events, Local Comedy, and more!
​

• Cardinals HOF Presents: Flashback Fridays
  • May 24, 2024
  • Visit the Cardinals Museum for a candid interview in our Sportsman's Park Theater with former Cardinals Pitcher Kevin Siegrist on Friday, May 24th at 4:30pm.
• Cardinals HOF Presents: Saturday Signings
  • May 25, 2024
  • Saturday, May 25th is Saturday Signings with former Cardinals Pitcher Kevin Siegrist from 2-4pm in the Cardinals Museum!
• Chess at the Brewery
  • Every Wednesday
  • Local meetup group of chess players that meet at breweries on Wednesday nights. They rotate locations each week.
  • See their Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/chessatthebrewery/) for the location this week.
• Explore STL Fest at Ballpark Village
  • May 22, 2024
  • Taking over Together Credit Union Plaza at Ballpark Village, Explore STL Fest will feature appearances and giveaways by beloved local attractions, entertainment venues, restaurants and hotels.
  • Local media will broadcast live from the event, helping to spread the word about everything that makes St. Louis such a special destination.
  • Festivities begin at 10 a.m.
• Family Night with Fredbird
  • Wednesdays
  • Join others at Cardinals Nation Restaurant & Bar for Family Night with Fredbird on select Wednesday evenings this off-season! Bring your family down for games, prizes, and meet Fredbird from 6:30-7:30pm.
• Karaoke Wednesdays at HandleBar
  • Every Wednesday
  • Browse the catalog and find your favorite songs to sing! Songbookslive.com/stlredcarpet
• Karaoke Wednesdays at Mack's Bar & Grill
  • Every Wednesday
• Landmarks Downtown Walking Tours
  • Every Saturday
  • Landmarks Downtown St. Louis Walking Tours: History, Culture, Architecture, and Exercise: What could be better on a Saturday morning.
• Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection at St. Louis Art Museum
  • February 23 - July 14, 2024
  • Native American Art of the 20th Century: The William P. Healey Collection celebrates a transformative gift of outstanding works by Native American artists active across the 20th century. The promised gift of 100 works establishes a critical junction between the Saint Louis Art Museum’s deep collection of pre-1920 Indigenous art and a growing emphasis on the contemporary.
• Open Mic Night at Schlafly Bottleworks (Maplewood)
  • Every Wednesday
  • Join others every Wednesday evening and showcase your talents with our Open Mic Night! Open sign up begins at 6:30PM with music starting at 7:00PM. They welcome original material, covers and spoken word! Grab a beer, then play and listen every Wednesday! There are no cover charges and no drink minimums to attend.
• Soulard Farmer's Market
  • Wednesdays - Saturdays
  • Soulard Farmers Market is located at 730 Carroll Street in St. Louis, Missouri, a half mile north of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The market is open Wednesday through Saturday, year round. They feature locally grown and shipped in goods, including: produce, meats, cheeses, spices, gourmet kettle corn, flowers, baked goods, and general merchandise. There are also several different eateries that have many food options, which allows customers the convenience to grab a quick bite to eat and a drink while shopping.
• St. Louis African Arts Festival
  • May 25 - 27, 2024
  • The St. Louis African Arts Festival aims to increase awareness of the global contributions that African people and people of African descent have made through artistic, cultural and educational programs. In its 33rd year, the festival will be held at the World’s Fair Pavilion in Forest Park from May 25 to 27.
  • The multi-day event draws locals and visitors together to celebrate the rich and diverse cultures of African and African American people. Attendees can enjoy the African marketplace with arts and crafts, clothing and jewelry, alongside cultural demonstrations, traditional foods and African films.
• St. Louis CITY Block Party
  • May 25, 2024
  • Before the St. Louis CITY SC match kickoff, get the party started early with live music, food and drinks on Lou Fusz Plaza! CITY SC presents the free CITY Block Party featuring live performances from Juliet Ivy, Hazmat and Lexodus, as well as local food and beverage vendors, fan giveaways, and games and activities for all ages.
  • The block party is free and open to the public. If you don’t have tickets to the match, stay to catch CITY take on Seattle Sounders on the big screen at the free Watch Party on the plaza (7:30 pm kickoff).
• St. Louis CITY SC Street Party at Schlafly Tap Room
  • May 25, 2024
  • In celebration of ALL home soccer games, Schlafly will close down "Louligan Street" and support our team the only way they know how: great food, drinks, and fun. There are beer tents, food trucks, special (game day and late night) menus, and more. Get here early and park!
• Sunday Bingo at Tim's Chrome Bar
  • Every Sunday
  • Get in the mood for some fun with an afternoon of BINGO at Tim’s. They'll supply the cards and daubers. Just bring yourself and your BINGO loving friends. Play for some good laughs and a variety prizes. Bar opens at 12 p.m., they'll start BINGO at 3 p.m. Cheers!
• Sunset Rooftop Yoga at Ballpark Village
  • May 23, 2024
  • Unwind on the rooftop of Ballpark Village in St. Louis during a one-hour yoga class led by YogaSix.
  • After the session, nama-stay for exclusive happy hour offers such as $3 domestic beers and $5 select cocktails.
• Thursday Nights at the Museum
  • Every Thursday
  • Kick off your weekend at the Missouri History Museum in Forest Park! Each Thursday Night at the Museum will be the most fun, engaging, uplifting, thought-provoking, perspective-shaping night of your week. And there are drinks.
  • Join others starting at 5:30pm for happy hour and pop-up activities, such as brief tours, games, and performances. The main stage comes to life at 6:30pm, light appetizers and drinks are available for purchase until 7:00pm, and the Museum’s exhibits are open until 8:00pm for you to explore!
• Tower Grove Farmer's Market
  • Every Tuesday & Saturday
  • Join others every Saturday of the 2023 Tower Grove Farmers Market Season. They'll have over 100 vendors with local produce, meat, flowers, eggs, honey, prepared foods, art, jewelry, live music, and so much more.
• Vietnam: At War and At Home at Soldiers Memorial
  • Running until May 27, 2024
  • In 'Vietnam: At War and At Home' at Soldiers Memorial Military Museum, the story of the war’s origins, execution, conclusion and legacy are presented in engaging, accessible and evocative ways. The exhibit presents a diverse and holistic snapshot of the turbulent times in Vietnam, in the U.S. and in the St. Louis region.

​

Sporting Events This Week	Attractions Around the Area	Comedy This Week
St. Louis Cardinals schedule	Anheuser-Busch Brewery	Funny Bone Comedy Club
St. Louis Blues schedule	City Museum	Helium Comedy Club
St. Louis City SC schedule	Gateway Arch	The Improv Shop
St. Louis Battlehawks schedule	Missouri History Museum
St. Louis Billikens schedule	National Blues Museum

​

Trivia Nights
Location	Date/Time	More Information
Anheuser-Busch Biergarten	Tuesdays 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
Bar K	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
City Foundry	Thursdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Crack Fox	Mondays 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm	They host a weekly free tournament and game night. Emphasis on Non Alcoholic refreshments and camaraderie.
Joey B's on the Hill	Mondays 8:30 pm - 10:30 pm	Trivia Details
Nick's Pub	Mondays
Felix's Pizza Pub	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
ITAP (Delmar Loop)	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
ITAP (Soulard)	Tuesdays at 7:00 pm
Schlafly Brewpubs (Any Location)	Tuesdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Rockwell Beer Co	Tuesdays	Trivia Details (Reservations required)
The Mack	Tuesdays at 8:00 pm	Trivia Details
The Pat Connolly Tavern	Wednesdays at 7:00 pm
The Post	Wednesdays 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm	Trivia Details
Pieces Board Game Bar & Cafe	Wednesdays	Trivia Details
HandleBar	Thursdays at 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm	Trivia Details
Steve's Hot Dogs	Tuesdays 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm	Trivia Details
Wellspent Brewing	Thursdays at 7:00 pm

​

Live Music This Week
Music Venues	Live Music Around Town
Blueberry Hill Duck Room	1860 Saloon
Chesterfield Amphitheater	BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups
Delmar Hall	Broadway Oyster Bar
Enterprise Center	City Foundry
The Fabulous Fox Theatre	Gallery Pub
The Factory	Game 6 Honky Tonk
Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre	Gaslight Lounge
Off Broadway	The Heavy Anchor
Old Rock House	Jazz St. Louis
The Pageant	Joe's Cafe
Red Flag	The Lot on the Landing
The Sheldon	Tim's Chrome Bar
St. Louis Music Park	McGurk's
St. Louis Symphony Concert Calendar	SoFar St. Louis Secret performances around town
Stifel Theatre	Venice Cafe
	Yaquis on Cherokee

​

Recurring Outdoor Activities
Big Muddy Adventures – STL Riverfront Adventure	Big Muddy Adventures was established in 2002. They are the first professional outfitteguiding company providing access to the wild wonders of the Middle Mississippi and Lower Missouri Rivers.
Gateway Arch Events	There are a variety of things to do along the Mississippi River.
Hidden Valley Ski Resort	Ziplining, scenic chairlift rides, and hiking trails opened during the summer. Skiing, snowboarding during the winter.

​

Ah! A new week a new chapter. Here's to hoping that everyone had a good a weekend. I did.
[Previous] [First] [Next] [RoyalRoad] [Discord] —----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eri blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light level. The hallway she found herself in slowly brightened with the glow of magical lights, revealing raw stone walls and floor.
“This is the entrance,” Felix said from her right.
Before she could respond, Kyrith’s head appeared above them, prompting the two of them to make room. The dragon’s body materialized as they cleared the area.
“Oh! This is dense!” He said, his body shivering slightly.
Felix had brought them to the Sanctuary, as he called it. Eri was curious about it and she apparently had some questions…
“It is. Be careful, it affected Zira quite a bit our first time here.” Felix responded, gesturing for the two of them to follow.
The entrance led directly into a hallway. It was a tight fit for Kyrith, but thankfully it didn’t cause any issues.
“Fea made this?” Eri asked, sounding a little incredulous. She was in the middle with her partner behind her.
“Yeah. But this,” he gestured, “Isn’t what is impressive. Just wait, we’re almost there.”
“Right…” She muttered, still unsure how to take all this. The dense mana didn’t help. It wasn’t exactly stifling, but it left her feeling uncomfortable.
They continued their trek, passing several rooms. Her curiosity had her peeking in one as they passed, but there wasn’t anything of interest.
Suddenly, they came to a stop. In front of them was a solid wall.
Eri tried to speak, “Where–”
Felix simply placed his hand onto the wall. A moment later, the wall opened up…
“Here we are,” Felix said with a nod.
Her jaw dropped, Kyrith gasped.
Before them was a massive cave…
Daylight shown down onto the floor, coming from the equally impressive opening above them. The circular shape of the cave held rows upon rows, levels upon levels, of what was unmistakably dens made for dragons.
How…?
Ramps led up to platforms, those platforms made up the various levels. She was struggling to comprehend the scale of what she was seeing.
T-this is truly a sanctuary.
“I told you it was impressive,” Felix commented with a chuckle. “You can go in– But! Stick to either the first floor or the ground. The rest aren’t finished…”
Eri gulped and stepped past. The sheer scale, the sheer size of…everything was awe-inspiring.
“F-Fea did this?” she asked again, this time with wonderment.
“She did… But she wasn’t able to finish it,” he answered. There was a bittersweet tone to his voice, as if recalling a memory.
Enough room was created for Kyrith to make it past them. “Wow, this place is huge!” He swung his head around. “Do you think we can finish it?! This would be a great place for us to call home!”
Felix smiled. “That’s actually why I brought you two here–”
Kyrith’s attention was already pulled away. He started moving, going deeper into the cavernous space…
“You want to finish this?” Eri asked, still shocked and not quite noticing her partner wandering off.
“I do, but there’s no way I could do so on my own. I wanted your advice and opinion…” He trailed off awkwardly.
“I… I doubt there is anything I could do to help. Something like this would require miners, at least.”
Letting out a sigh, Felix walked forward a few feet before stopping. “Yeah, I kinda figured that… But, what about in Bernel? Could they have someone who could help?”
The village? No way. “Doubtful… You’d need the dwarves, or possibly the gnomes. Either one would have experience in something like this. Us elves mainly stick to logging, or above ground mining. This would be too much for us.”
Eri frowned as she continued. “Unfortunately, getting one of those races to help might prove to be a challenge… They aren’t very keen on your presence.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. Seeing how neither one of their sages wanted to help with recruiting…” Felix said, the dejection written plain upon his face.
She winced at his sight. “It’s a delicate situation. Neither race is very trusting, especially of a human… I do think we can start to win them over, however. With the eggs hatching soon, it might be enough to prove your intentions to them.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Drag four newly hatched dragons and their partners all the way to them?” He asked, letting his frustration through.
“Felix–”
“No, I’m sorry.” He said, shaking his head. “I’m just mad at the situation, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
There was a pause before he continued. “Luckily, I did sort of foresee something like that being an issue. For now, I think the Sanctuary will have to wait and I will have to go with my second idea.”
She approached Felix, “What is your idea?”
“I was thinking of building either an extension to the hatchery, or a separate building. Some sort of dormitory for both dragons and their partners to stay in. We’re going to run out of living space rather quickly.” Felix answered with a slight shrug.
“Now that is something I think us elves could help with,” she said with encouragement.
“Really?”
Eri nodded. “Still, it might be a tough sell. But nowhere near as bad as trying to convince the dwarves or gnomes. I think if we go straight to Chief Yorlen, we might be able to convince him. If he spreads the word, we might be able to get some of the tribes to pitch in.”
Felix perked up. “Right, I don’t think I left a bad impression. Most seemed to just accept me being there during the celebrations. Or at the very least, I wasn’t ran out of the village.”
With a slight laugh, Eri nodded. “That’s true. But we shouldn’t get our hopes up just yet. I think we have a good chance, but he’ll expect something out of it in return. We should think–”
She blinked and looked around, only now did she realize Kyrith wasn’t with them.
Eri, come over here! There’s even more eggs!
Eri froze in place, not quite sure what she just heard her partner say. I’m sorry, did you say you found more eggs? Like, dragon eggs?
Yep!
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zira grumbled internally. While Felix took Eri and Kyrith into the Sanctuary, she was stuck back at the manor. Before her were the four other elves, all looking unsure as she stared down at them.
“Do you have any questions?” She asked, feeling a mixture of awkwardness and frustration.
The elves looked between each other before Yedril slowly raised his hand.
“Yes?”
“What is it like being bonded to Felix? I mean, do you and him have arguments–”
Zira let out a deep rumble in the form of a laugh. “Of course we have our arguments. We even had some fights.”
“Really?” Yedril asked, looking a little surprised. “That’s… How does that affect the bond? I would’ve thought arguing would hurt it.”
This is going to take a while, she realized, laying down to get more comfortable. “I can only speak for me and Felix, but our bond is quite strong. Felix said it before, you have to be able to trust your partner.
“Even though we’ve had our arguments and fights, it’s always been from a position of caring for one another… We just have our differences on what that looks like. We’ve been improving, however. And don’t forget, trust goes both ways.”
“I think I get it…” Yedril muttered, staring off into the distance.
Zira watched him for a moment before speaking up again. “Any more questions?”
Lorem was next and he suddenly looked determined. “How would a bond affect my relationship with Noria? It is no secret I am courting her and I worry how that would affect my soon-to-be partner.”
Noria went rigid, blushing a scarlet red. Solanna cocked an eyebrow, while her brother blinked in confusion as he came back to reality. However, Zira grew quiet…
It’s obvious why he is asking me, but what to say? She considered her words carefully, very carefully. “Relationships…will be tricky. Perhaps because the two of you have been courting before hatching your eggs, it won’t be an issue. I would still explain it to both as best you can.”
Lorem nodded. “When do you think it would be best to talk with them?”
When indeed…? “I honestly don’t know, but perhaps once they start asking questions. Learn from mine and Felix’s mistake on this, don’t wait.”
“Mistake?” Noria asked aloud, before realizing what she meant. “I-I’m sorry–”
Zira sighed, sounding more like a growl. Poor Noria looked as if she was about to faint.
Maybe it’s for the best that I get this out of the way. If they can learn from us, then… “I doubt it will surprise any of you, but Felix is courting Eri. Though, both seem to be doing the smart thing and taking it slow.
“Anyway, when I was freshly hatched, I did not understand what romance was. Nor did I understand why Felix would ever love someone other than me. It…led to a lot of confusion for me. We got through it, and now I understand.” Even if I still have feelings on that topic.
“I-I see…” Noria said after a few moments. She still looked a little shaky on her feet.
Solanna was the next one to speak up. “Do you have any advice on how to best care for them?” She spoke with indifference but as Zira turned her attention to the elf, she could see a burning curiosity hiding behind her eyes.
“Attention, they will want a lot of it,” Zira smiled. “Be prepared to be made a pillow, or have them pull your laundry out and sleep on that. Kyrith was notorious for that one…
“But as for any special care to consider? Besides building trust between, work together as often as you can. They will come to appreciate that.”
“What is up with Felix being made your pillow anyway?” Yedril asked with an amused expression.
She let out a rumbling laugh. “Punishment– At least, at first. Now, it is more of a ritual.”
“Punishment?”
She shook her head. “I’ve told you, we’ve had our fair share of arguments. Who do you think won most of them? And who do you think lost most of them?”
Yedril chuckled. “I understand, but now I’m curious. Are you worried about crushing him?”
“Not really, we can tell when each other is in pain. I never drift off into sleep until I know he’s comfortable.”
Oh, I should probably tell them about that. “One more thing about bonding– Actually, I’m surprised neither me nor Felix has brought this up until now…”
Zira waited until she had everyone’s attention. “Once you and your partner grow more confident with each other, there is something quite special the two of you will be able to do. You will be able to combine your minds together.”
“What do you mean?” Solanna asked, but the question was written on all their faces.
“Exactly that. Felix likes to call it melding, but the term doesn’t matter. What matters is that you and your partner will become one. Two bodies, but only one mind.”
Noria’s eyes widened. “Wait…” she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.
Zira gave her a curious expression. “I know that is a bit of a shock, I apologize for not bringing it up sooner. The concept is…hard to explain though, and should not be tried until you have solidified trust between the two of you.”
The small elf shook her head, pulling herself out of her stupor. However, it was Yedril who asked the next question. “What is it like?”
She thought for a moment. “Hmm, I think the easiest way to explain it is like this: You lose the concept of ‘I,’ and gain an understanding of ‘us.’ There is no you or me, only we.”
The four elves pondered her words. Meanwhile, a distant noise from the hatchery caught Zira’s attention. A moment later, she heard Felix.
We might have figured something out…
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watcher kneeled, closing his eyes in prayer to the empty eggs that stood before him.
He had been listening, he had been guided and given instructions. Now, the fruits of his labor were beginning to show. There was still more to do, however…
Master! Guide Watcher– Guide me! Hear Watcher’s prayers, show Watcher next step! Eggs hatch soon, Watcher use power… I bring elf and egg together, like Master want! Please, old Master… Please, answer Watcher calls!
His pleas grew silent, he hadn’t heard her voice since the eggs imprinted. Now, he was growing desperate. Watcher feared he had somehow angered her…
A calm wind blew through him. With it, a soft melodic voice hummed and tempered his nerves. A soothing hand landed upon the top of his head, gently petting it.
Shh, Watcher has done well, the wind answered. I had given you all my available power and had to rest. But now? Now, I feel it. I feel them stirring. Soon, Watcher… Very soon, I will be able to provide you with more.
Watcher felt the tension leave his body. What of New Master? Will Old Master help?
He felt the melodic wind once again. Of course, we will need his help just as much as he will need mine.
The hand slid down to the side of his snout, visions flashed in his mind.
A shadow reveals the folly of revenge.
An ancient evil moves, guiding a blind man.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Previous] [First] [Next] [RoyalRoad] [Discord]
So we have Eri and Kyrith learning about and seeing the sanctuary. Zira playing the adult and answering some hard questions. And finally, things happening with Watcher... Ultimately, things are happening.
Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter.

This is gonna sound shitty and spoiled but I just failed the first round of a scholarship selection process that would have let me get away from my family and I feel fucking hopeless and it's making my suicidal thoughts switch from passive to active again. Who the fuck was I even kidding I don't even fucking deserve a way out, I deserve to rot like everyone else in this fucking shithole. Maybe I can do what my brother failed to and properly kill myself. I can't even support the people around me who need it. My sister, nephew and most of my family is getting bombed in Ukraine and I can't do anything about it and I feel violently miserable. I spend most of my time trying to stay safe. I hate the thoughts in my head that are half-wisps of memories, just hovering there and I can't grab them. When I was younger I promised I would only start making suicide attempts after my final year of school because my mother seemed more concerned with losing my scholarship than me being dead when I clearly insinuated I wanted to kill myself, but I'm in my final year now and I can't fucking hang on. And what I went through isn't even that fucking bad, it was just emotional and her repeatedly slapping my ass in a way that made me uncomfy and looking at me naked rarely when I begged her to leave and her threatening to hit me and swinging shit at my head but it was mostly emotional. I deserved to have the guy who probably tried to groom me do that, I shouldn't have pushed him away. I'm so tempted to out myself to my family because they have guns and it would be a nice quick end, which is what I'm too much of a coward to do to myself, but I have to keep going and keep up the persona of a successful human when my marks are dropping and my brain is permanently malfunctioning because I most likely have undiagnosed autism.

Note: Questions about monetization? Check here: An Introduction To The Book That Is Me :
Note: Questions about what else I've done? Check here: Masterlist for edgiscript :
Part 6: [F4M] Mafia Dog - Part 6 of 7 [Confronting Your Yandere] [Sneaking Into The Mission] [Supporting Mom] :
Note: Just realized yesterday that the tags on every chapter should be [FF4M] instead of [F4M] which some are. Sorry about that.
Note to those of you who have been reading and enjoying this series: Thank you. I hope the finale meets your expectations. I said before that this was a post-horror-yandere story. If anyone feels like writing a backstory with Francine and Puppy before he was Puppy, go right ahead. I don't do horror.
Note for future stuff: At present (5/19/24) I'm adding nearly my entire library to Reddit 1 piece at a time with some exceptions. Most notably, Crazy Cat is doing a masterful job with Mayna in "Amazon's Surprise" and she's only posted parts 1-3 so far. I will only release parts 4-7 as she does them. 3 VAs have currently done the 1st part of "The Captive Yandere" and at least 2 are considering whether or not to do more, so I'm holding of on releasing parts 2-6. And Xarty was incredibly endearing as Kaylix in "The Weakest Orc - A Love Story" part 1. I'm holding off releasing parts 2-7 until she does them or decides she won't do any more. But if there are VAs interested in performing those series, contact me and I'll send you the full scripts so you can decide if you want to do them before they're released publicly.
Now for Part 7. (Bet you didn't know this movie would come with trailers.) :)

Part 7

Carissa: (Sorrowfully.) Friends, family, loved ones, we have come today to mourn a beloved friend and colleague. We are going to miss his smile, his warmth, his courage, and his genuine love for each and every one of us, but most of all we’re going to miss the sound of his voice…
(With humor.) …because now that Puppy has married Jane, every one of us here knows that he’s never going to get a word in again.
(Sound of mild laughter of people at the party.)
Jane, you’ve been my courage, my fire, and my wisdom for so long now, I’ve forgotten what it was like without you here. Your spark has kept me going through many trying times. I’ve been able to count on your unwavering patience and your perseverance since the moment you joined our group. You have been by my side through thick and thin and you will be missed.
Puppy, in the nearly two years since we rescued you, you have been my heart and my conscience. I’m proud, very proud that you consider me as your mother, because I most definitely think of you as my son. You have also been by my side through thick and thin and you will also be missed.
Jane and Puppy, my left hand and my right, as you leave us to begin your own journey, at least temporarily, may God watch over you both, and may everyone you meet bring you as much joy as you have brought to all of us. Kent, Mike, Ronnie, and everyone present, please lift your glasses with me as we toast, to Puppy and Jane.
(Pause while they drink, then sounds of minor applause.)
Jane: (Hugs Carissa.) Thank you, mom. We’ll miss you guys.
(Brief pause, then playfully.) Puppy, you can hug Mom in a second. Let me get mine in.
Carissa: You see, Puppy. It’s started. There’s still time. Save yourself. Run.
Jane: (Laughs, then with mock irritation.) Carissa!
Carissa: Nope. I’m still Puppy’s Mom and I’ve got to do what’s best for him.
(Both laugh.)
Carissa: Seriously, you guys, be well. I know you want to show Puppy so many things that he missed growing up the way he did, but… well, just… be safe. Ok?
Jane: Oh, Mom, we’ll be fine. Stop worrying. Puppy’s going to love it.
Carissa: I know. I know. But… (Sighs.) I love both of you so much. Go have fun. See the world. Hurry. Run now before I hug you both and refuse to let go. We’ll be here when you get back.
Jane: We love you too, Mom. Thank you. You’ve been…
Carissa: (Interrupting.) No. Seriously. Go now. Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
Jane: (Laughs.) All right. We’re going. Come on, Puppy. You heard her.
(Runs off. Car door opens and closes. Car sounds as they drive away.)
Well, Puppy. How does it feel?
(Pause.)
To be married? You’re not just Puppy now. You’re MY Puppy.
(Pause.)
(Laughs/Giggles.) Yes, you’ve been my Puppy for a while, but now it’s official. Or legal, anyway.
(Pause.)
Nope. I don’t care. You’re mine. The wedding and the reception are over. I don’t have to share you with another soul for the rest of our lives. (Giggles.)
(Pause.)
Ok, we’ll see them again. I’m not taking you away for good. But you’ll still always be mine no matter what anybody else says about it. (Giggles.)
(Pause.)
Yes, it’s definitely nicer that we can be open about it. We’re so used to living in the shadows, you and me. Being out in public like a regular couple… that’s nice.
(Pause)
(Giggle.) Yes, there are definitely some things we’re not going to do out in the open. Speaking of which, there’s our stop.
(Pause)
Yep. That little house by the ocean. I rented it out just for us.
(Pause. Car comes to a stop and car door opens and closes.)
Nope. I already put all of our luggage in there before the wedding. Now, all that’s left to do is for you to carry me across the threshold. Unless, of course, you want me to carry you. We’re not exactly the most traditional couple after all and…
(Jane is interrupted by Puppy picking her up.)
(Squeals as she’s picked up and laughs. Kiss.) Oh, Puppy. Does this all feel as magical and as much like a fairy tale to you as it does to me? I can’t believe I get to call myself your wife. I love you, Puppy.
(Pause. Front door opens and closes.)
Oh no. You don’t get to set me down yet. Not until we’ve reached the bedroom. (Giggles.) I’ve got a surprise for you.
(Pause.)
(Laughs.) No, that’s not it. That’s no surprise, silly. You already knew I was going to give you that. (Giggles.) No, I’ve got something else for you.
(Pause while they reach the bedroom.)
Here we are. Now, lay me down and then lay down beside me.
(Pause.)
I love you so much, Puppy.
(Pause.)
I know you love me too. And I’m not just saying that because it’s the proper response. I want you to really, truly know that I know you love me. I meant everything I said in my wedding vows. My heart and my soul belong to you now. Ever since I’ve known you after we rescued you from that personal prison of Francine’s, you’ve been nothing but kind, considerate of others, laughing and loving everyone when you could have been broken and bitter. I love you for that, Puppy.
(Pause.)
(Giggles.) Ok, you’re kinda cute too. (Giggles.)
(Pause.)
(Note: From here on, there are no instructions on how to say the rest of this. Please let your own emotions decide how it should be done. Tender and sweet? Tearful? Joyful? You decide.)
Thank you, Puppy. I will always love to hear you say that. But I wanted you to know just how much I love you. I know you said that when you were trapped by Francine, and while she was… well, you know. She would constantly tell you how much she loved you and needed you, even while she was hurting you. She didn’t know love, Puppy. She only knew her own obsession and her lust. She took what she wanted from you without any consideration for you. When she said that she loved you, all she did was hurt you.
I know it’s why you don’t even want me to call you by your given name. It brings back memories of her and even the broken life you had before she took you. I gave you the name Puppy, and when I say “I love you,” I actually do love you. You’ve told me that you only want me to call you Puppy because that marks you as mine, and that’s what you want.
Here. Before I go on, open that drawer. Yes, that one right beside the bed. Open it.
(Drawer opens.)
Take the key that’s in there. That’s the key to your chains. I found that after we rescued you when we did a sweep of Francine’s old headquarters. I saved it… for you. It’s yours now. Nobody owns you. Nobody controls you. You’re free. You can keep it as a symbol that you control your own destiny now, or you can throw it into the ocean tomorrow morning. But you decide. Nobody else.
I know that the pain she caused you happened because all she wanted to do was take from you with no thought of your well-being. She didn’t care how much it hurt you as long as it satisfied her needs. So, Puppy, when I say “I love you,” I want you to know that I’m not taking from you. I’m giving to you. I’m giving you me, Puppy. I’m yours. I’m your wife. I’m your love. I’m your friend. I’m whatever you need me to be. Whatever you need from me, I’m here to provide it for you. I really, really love you. Ok?
(Kiss.)
You’re the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. And I vow to you that I will never let you forget that for as long as we both shall live.
(Kisses.)
(Fade out.)

That’s all it was. A game.
Something my friends and I used to play during the summer when we had nothing better to do. I never expected that it would get so out of hand.
I never expected it to come back long after recovery.
To anyone reading, please don’t do what I did.
I’m putting this out there to warn people.
On that warm summer evening, we played the role of Pandora.
Except, the monsters we released were far worse than what’s told in stories.
Because stories end.
And this doesn’t.
I still remember the date. July 16, 2013. I was an upcoming senior in high school while the others were getting prepared for their freshman year of college, raving on about their majors, life plans, dorms, you get the point. The summer had been bittersweet as those months would be the last I’d see them for a while. Because of this, Anthony, Lola, Eliza, and I would spend the bulk of our time together going to festivals and various camping trips, trying to make the most out of the summer while we could. On that day, the day I wish I could forget, Eliza had run late to one of our hangouts at my place. This was odd since as an Ivy league student, she was usually early or right on time to these kind of things. Half past three, we heard her knocking on my door rapidly, which was also out of character considering that she was usually the calm one in our group. A bit worried, I hurried down the stairs with Anthony and Lola following close behind, expecting Eliza to be in hysterics due to her frantic behavior. When I opened the door, however, there she was with a bright smile on her face, her red hair getting in the way of her eyes, which were a dark green shade. She pushed her hair out of her face with one hand and held a brown box in the other, and she was bouncing up and down as she usually does when she’s about to talk about something exciting.
“You’ll never believe what I found.” Eliza’s voice could barely hold her impatience as she stepped inside and kicked her shoes off once she crossed over my threshold.
“What’s up with you today?” Anthony questioned, looking more confused than concerned now.
“I’ll show you guys in a minute. Can we go up to your room, Felix?” Eliza looked over at me with her trademark smile, knowing damn well we were all too curious to just leave that box unopened. Without a word, I led the group up to my room and shut the door after everyone had walked in. Anthony took his usual spot on my beanbag and unzipped his hoodie, which had the MSM logo sprawled across the front in big red letters. He adjusted his dark rimmed glasses and took on his usual stoic expression. Lola wore a dark blue FIT shirt, which she revealed more of when she moved her locs over her shoulder as she sat on my desk chair and wheeled over to us. As she did, the various necklaces she wore clinked against each other. Eliza herself was the smartest out of the group, and probably in the whole school as well. She had gotten accepted into multiple prestigious schools, but ultimately settled for Harvard to pursue a degree in some obscure philanthropic career. Unlike Anthony and Lola, Eliza wore her regular outfit –usually a white tank top and jeans– and sat on my bed with the box in her lap. I took a seat next to her to get a closer look.
“So what’d you find?” The others moved closer.
“Something we probably haven’t thought about for a really long time. Do you guys remember that one game we used to play in middle school? The one we made after Felix joined our class?” Eliza looked at our puzzled faces to see if we had connected the dots, but her clue didn’t seem to strike any of us with familiarity.
“After Felix joined? Didn’t we just hang out or something that weekend?” Anthony questioned.
“We did, but there was something else,” Eliza raised an eyebrow, “you guys seriously don’t remember?”
At that moment, I saw Lola’s eyes light up and a thin smile grew on her lips, something she always did whenever she was able to figure something out.
“You mean that little map game we played? Where we would go out to the woods and explore?”
Both Anthony and I seemed to have remembered as well with the mention of a ‘map game.’ I chimed in, “ yeah I remember! Every once in a while when we were all bored, we’d pick a random spot on a map to go to and explore there for a bit, right? When did we stop doing that anyways? I remember really enjoying it.”
“Well life happens,” Eliza responded to me, “but I was thinking of things to do for the rest of the summer when I suddenly remembered that game! That’s why I was so late for our meetup today, I was looking through my attic for this.” Eliza shook the box slightly and a couple things clattered around inside.
“There’s no way.” Anthony sounded like he was in disbelief.
“You mean…?” Lola sat forward in the chair. Eliza smirked, her adventurous nature creeping out as realization swept over us like a wave.
“Mhm! I found the map we used to use as well as the things we collected from our little escapades.” With that, Eliza opened the box, revealing a folded piece of paper and various trinkets scattered over the bottom of the capsule. Lola squealed with excitement and immediately snatched the box from Eliza, who simply chuckled and leaned back on the bed.
“No way! Everything’s still in here!” Lola digged through the box and placed whatever objects she found across the blanket. Anthony got up and sat at the foot of my bed, to observe our findings more closely. There was a piece of some clay pottery, some rusty springs and scraps of metal, an old digital camera, and some other random stuff I can’t recall to memory right now. Anthony picked up a spring and turned it in his palm.
“Shit man, this is from that abandoned junkyard we found in 8th grade…that feels like such a long time ago now.”
I examined the piece of pottery with Eliza looking over my shoulder. Lola picked up the digital camera.
“Do you remember where this came from?” I turned to Eliza and held up my discovery.
“No clue,” she shrugged. It must have been a while ago if even she didn’t remember. I turned the piece over and grew curious when I saw weird symbols inscribed on the inside of it. I squinted a bit, trying to discern some sort of pattern within the scribbles.
I turned to Eliza again, “hey, what do you think-”
“OH MY GOD GUYS IT STILL WORKS!” Lola’s voice went up a whole octave as she motioned to us.
The rest of us looked up as she turned the camera to face us. There were various photos we went through. All of us at lakes, museums, exploring the woods; everything we did from 7th grade until my freshman year seemed to be documented. The last photo was arguable the best and msot bittersweet. It was a picture of the whole group from a while ago. We were sitting at Eliza’s dinner table with a giant chocolate cake on the middle of it adorned with two candles shaped like the numbers one and five. Eliza was talking to me in the photo. Her hair was even more red at the time and she wore it in a braid. I looked about the same in the photo as I did then, with light brown hair, blue eyes, and freckles scattered all over my body and face. I was smiling sheepishly at Eliza. I now knew why Anthony said it was obvious I had a crush on her in 8th grade. Lola went through the most changes out of all of us. At the time in the photo, she had her hair straightened and side-swept, with a bright pink streak in her bangs. She wore clunky jewlery and a frilly skirt underneath a long tank top, leaning over the table to cut another slice of cake. All of us had birthday hats on except for Anthony, who kept his sitting on the table. He held up a peace sign staring straight into the camera with a stoic expression. He looked like a statue compared to the rest of us, who were laughing and smiling. You could tell he was having fun, though.
“Well don’t you look like a ray of sunshine,” Lola snickered as Anthony shot her a dirty look.
“At least I didn’t go through some weird scene phase in freshman year,” He smiled and watched Lola’s face, knowing she was blushing despite her dark skin which made it practically invisible. I let a laugh slip out, but quickly stifled it knowing that if I kept going it would mean death. Lola side-eyed me and continued, “I was using my creative liberty to experiment with my options as an artist,” she said with an overly-posh accent that made Eliza laugh.
“Yeah Anthony, don’t be such a downer,” Eliza teased. Anthony simply rolled his eyes and suppressed a smile to pretend like he was mad at all of us. He looked into the box and picked up the paper we left, unfolding it with a hint of excitement and curiosity. When he looked at it, only two words came out of his mouth.
“Holy shit.”
“What, what is it?” Lola tried to look at the other side of the paper, but Anthony quickly held it out of her view.
“What if I didn’t want to show you?” A smile crept onto his face. This was one of those rare moments where he’d be in the moos to joke around with us.
“Don’t be a dick bro,” I said, laughing as I went to grab for the paper. Anthony just held it up in the air and pushed me off of him and I landed on my floor. While he was distracted, though, Eliza took her chance and snatched the paper right out of his hand.
“You boys need to learn to be nice,” she warned in her jokingly stern voice as she unfolded the paper and spread it out onto my bed. We all leaned over to look.
It was a map of a couple towns including ours. There were around ten small star stickers placed on different areas on the map near the streets the four of us lived in. On the top of the map, a couple words were scrawled in black sharpie; “Pick a Place!” I could see everyone’s faces light up.
“Oh my god it’s our map!” Lola shouted and pointed to one of the stars near her street, “this was where we found that old junkyard right?”
Eliza smiled, “I remember that. It feels like such a long time ago now.” She pointed to another star, “and this is where we found that lake we made a hideout of. I still remember swimming in there in 8th grade…”
The four of us reminisced for a while, talking about where we had gone and what we did there, and how impressive it was that we didn’t get tetanus from that junkyard. After nearly an hour of conversation, Eliza asked something that made all of us stop.
“So how about it guys? Do you want to do one last round before the summer ends?”
The rest of us looked around at each other. It was clear we all wanted to do it. Eliza seemed to catch on and she nodded.
“Who wants to pick where we go?”
“How about you do the honors?” Lola suggested, motioning towards the map. “You’re the one that brought this stuff in anyways.”
Eliza raised her eyebrow but didn’t object. Without a word, she examined the map for a few minutes, then placed her finger on one spot a bit far from my house.
“How about here?”
“You think we can make it that far?” Anthony asked.
“Well, we can drive now so why not?”
“You sure there’s some type of trail we can drive on? That spot looks pretty deep in the woods”
“We can find a path to drive on for a bit then walk the rest of the way. C’mon guys, this is probably our last chance to do something like this! Felix, you can drive right?”
Eliza and the rest turned to me with a hopeful expression. I had to comply.
“Sure. No big deal, right?”
All three of them cheered and high fived each other, looking pretty excited to go on one last adventure.
“So when do we leave?” I questioned.
Eliza flashed that smile again, “right now.”
“Right now?!”
“Hell yeah,” Lola chimed in. “It shouldn’t take that long, right?”
“I guess…” Even then I felt uneasy about the whole thing. I didn’t feel prepared enough to go on some random trip into the woods. I needed to pack food, water, flashlights, I had no idea how long this was going to take. Little did I know that those things would be the least of my worries a couple hours from then. I wish I could go back and convince my 17-year-old self that it wasn’t worth it, that I should just convince my friends to stay and talk for the rest of the day. I wish Eliza had never remembered that stupid game. In a way, I’m almost mad at her for what happened, but I know it wasn’t anyones fault. We just wanted to have fun. I wish we could’ve just had fun. But God had a different plan for us. One that made me think Satan himself devised it instead. On July 16, 2013, Anthony He, Lola Smith, Eliza Landserson, and Felix Johanson went on an adventure that none of them were ready for.
Author's Note:
If you just read all of that then thank you so so so much for doing so! I'm a rookie writer, so feel free to comment any constructive criticism you might have if you have actual writing experience! This is the first silly little story I'm posting here, so I hope you enjoyed :)

Matchup: Rugby FC Los Angeles (2-6-1, 17pts, 6th in West) vs Anthem Rugby Carolina (0-10-0, 3pts, 6th in East)
Venue: American Legion Memorial Stadium, Charlotte, NC Weather: 75 F, 24 C, Overcast and Rainy
Broadcast: Fox Sports 2, The Rugby Network (International Only)
Kickoff: 7:00pm ET, 4:00pm PT

Los Angeles	Number	Carolina
Dane Zander	1	Jake Turnbull (c)
Ben Strang	2	Connor Robinson
Alex Maughan	3	Joe Apikotoa
Reegan O’Gorman	4	Reagan Leslie
Theo Vukasinovic	5	Lucas Gramlick
Michael Amiras	6	Shneil Singh
Matt Heaton	7	Albert O’Shannessey
Jason Damm	8	Michael Ma’afu
Niall Saunders (c)	9	Siaosi Nai
Jordan Chait	10	Cliven Loubser
Jack Shaw	11	Te Rangatira Waitokia
James Stokes	12	Junior Gafa
Seth Purdey	13	Mateo Gadsden
Brooklyn Hardaker	14	Cael Hodgson
Andrew Coe	15	Tomasi Alosio
Reserves		Reserves
Bruce Kauika-Petersen	16	Jack Manzo
Wilton Rebolo	17	Ivan Pula
Conor Young	18	Mika Felix
Max Katjijeko	19	Logan Weidner
Semi Kunatani	20	Sione Latu
Tas Smith	21	Sean Yacoubian
Matt Anticev	22	Sebastien Zaridze
Austin White	23	Shane Barry

Referee: Lex Weiner (USA)
Assistants: Dave Edwards (USA) & Alex Hedquist (USA)
TMO: Eanna O’Dowd (Ireland)

Let me preface by saying that I am fully aware that working out is driven by discipline, rather than motivation. I have been trying to come from a place of grace and compassion -- but there's a duality between being too lenient and just pushing for what I believe is best for myself. Back when I was a personal trainer, I loved working out 5-6 times/ week. It was pretty much a religion. Of course, now that I'm in grad school, the process has slowed down a bit but I was able to maintain a healthy level of activity until the past couple months.
April was finals season. This was compounded with prepping for job interviews, scholarship/grant writing, and family health issues on both my end and my partners family. I had to travel 16 hours out to see my family, completely eliminating all activities I normally do for 2-3 weeks (including jet lag both ways), in addition to my depression and anxiety that was beginning to skyrocket simultaneously since winter. Maybe this was partially due to my drop in activity (i.e. I rely on exercise as my handy-dandy anti-depressant).
Due to travel, my medical conditions (new meds unrelated to mental health), and final exams, the entirety of March and April went out the window. It’s only gotten worse, now that I’ve secured a WFH remote position that doesn’t allow me to move around as much. I’ve been considering of purchasing a walking pad, at the very least, to get my blood flowing.
Since then, I’ve been sleeping in more lately and with longer duration, averaging between 9-10 hours. I cannot figure out for the life of me whether this is because I haven’t been as active = feeling more lazy (cyclical pattern), or if the “trauma” of everything so far requires me to have a deep reset.
In the past few weeks, I can honestly say that I have tried to restart my routine by putting myself out there — whether that’s running, lifting, climbing, etc. Yet, every time I go, it feels like it’s been half-assed, or I’ve been exhausting myself beyond comparison. It’s also only half of the duration/effort I normally put in. AGAIN, trying to come from a place of compassion and setting my expectations low but...
There’s a psychological component, where it feels incredibly discouraging that I have to start from ground zero...again.
Despite the concept of muscle memory, I can’t seem to find the level of resilience I once had. It almost feels complacent to me now.
I am also cognizant that the new medication might be impacting my mental health conditions, which could be exacerbating all of my symptoms.
Long story short, I'm beginning to justify my actions and convincing myself that I need this deep rest— to hibernate. (but for how long, who knows? is this just clinical depression lol?)
All to say - theoretically, I would love to get myself back on track. I know LOGICALLY it would make me feel better. But when I try, it doesn’t feel good and results with little to no reward.
Any advice if anyone has been in this similar situation?

feeling very lost right now so turning to anonymous support. I worked so hard to get to law school after taking 8 years to work before starting. This year was hard. Not just the law school part which obviously was a challenge but this school year threw so much shit at me.
My father who was diagnosed with stage iv bone cancer last year got covid in november right before finals and was hospitalized for multiple days. we live out of state but my mother had it under control and he was stabilized within a week. It shook me up but I was able to get through finals and finished with a 3.1.
Three weeks into this semester everything went to full shit. My mother in law had a stroke and went into a coma unexpectedly. she was in a coma for 10 days and in the icu for another 4 weeks. It was not looking good and so i made the decision to fly out to be there since my partner is an only child. i ended up staying for 3 weeks because as my mother in law thankfully woke up she was very confused and cognitively struggling and my partner and father in law were working to upkeep their family business plus my partner was still working remote full time. I attended half of my classes by zoom asynchronously while sitting at her bedside but two of my classes were not recorded so i was just receiving friends notes (bless them). The deans office and my professors were kept in the loop and i still managed to take my midterms and get my legal writing assignments in. My partner stayed out of state to be there while his mom was in rehab since she is suffering a great deal of memory loss and brain damage. I came back to finish out the semester.
Nearing the end of the semester I couldnt feel my legs one morning and my hand was tingling. I went to the hospital and they took scans. now i am seeing a neurologist but they think i likely have a form of multiple sclerosis based on my mri results and other testing. I only had to miss a couple classes for appointments but obviously I have been grappling with a lot of emotions on this. Right before finals week my mother got diagnosed with stage iv breast cancer and we still dont know her prognosis as thev work on her treatment plan.
I studied as much as i could and finished out. i got my last two grades back this morning and its bad. I passed my Irw class but i received 2 C-s and a C. I was surprised because usually the lowest grade given tends to be a C+. it made somewhat sense due to missing class and everything but I was especially confused for the class where I got an A on the midterm worth 30% of our grade. I reached out to the academic team to ask if there was an error and they told me all 3 of my grades were dropped a full letter grade due to low attendance. I am heartbroken. I worked as hard as I could while dealing with the hardest time in my life and even though my professors and the school knew what I was dealing with my grades still got dropped.
I have been informed I am on academic probation. Its not a punitive policy, but I have to get an advisor and meet with them every week next semester and I could be barred from joining journal even if I get accepted from write on. I go to a T20 school so l won't lose my scholarship thank god and I am hopeful l'll still have decent job prospects. But I am still worried this will ruin my future career trajectory and I am scared I will be going into debt for nothing
I was so immensely proud of myself for getting through this semester all while supporting my parents, my in laws, and my partner while also dealing with a possible life changing diagnosis- but now I feel like a fool for even trying.
Just looking for hopeful words and some positive thoughts honestly. I did not think the year I turned 30 my partner and i would be facing the loss/decline of 3/4 of our parents or facing my own serious health issues. I need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay.