Cute alphabet letters to make

I recently heard animal crossing has seized updates, is that true? If so I don’t understand why? There’s so many ways they can improve the game that have been stated multiple times I assume. I wanted to come and list some features that I never understood why they weren’t in the game in hopes that one day they’ll come back and fix them 🥹

1. Turning off the music!!! I know this is a big complaint across the board, but that’s precisely why I’m bringing it up again. If so many people complain and have asked for the change, then why have they not done it 😭 Please I’m begging ya’ll to make a feature where we can turn the music off. I want to enjoy the nature ambiance or actually be able to hear shooting stars 🙏🏻 I was going to state after the 600 hours I have in this game it gets very annoying, but I got annoyed by my 5th hour.
   
2. Crafting or purchasing in bulk. This one is self explanatory. The worst is crafting fish bait one by one. 🥲
   
3. Unique voice lines and personalities for some villagers. I understand there’s a ton of villagers and it would be hard to make them all unique, but at least for the very popular ones like Raymond, Marshall, etc; it would be nice if they acted different and said different things. Not a big complaint, but it’s my wish 🥹
   
4. This one is kind of nitpicking, but it would be nice if we could climb onto land from the rocks instead of just the sand. We seem quite strong since we’re able to uproot tree stumps and break rocks with shovels, so we definitely could pull ourselves up. Please!
   
5. A way to see where villagers are. Maybe just seeing them on the map or if they wanted to keep it like you’re hunting for them, then an option to ask another villager “have you seen ‘this villager’?” To which they can then give an area where they last saw them.
   

If y’all have any pressing ones feel free to add! I know these will most likely never be implemented in the game, but a girl can hope 🥹💗
Bonus: I wish you could find random villagers visiting in the coffee shop at any time. I think it would be super cute if you could see villagers interacting with each other and sitting around in there.

TLDR: Irrationally texted my ex parents after a breakup saying mean shit about her no threats just emotional dumb shit. Regret how childish I came off and feel like part of my healing even to move on fully is apologizing to grow. But I don’t want to bother as other redditors have exclaimed I should be lucky no restraining orders have been put out or I’m not in jail. I admit I said ugly shit but nothing that comes to threats or harm. Lmk please
Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Trust me when I tell you I felt more than guilty. I balled my eyes out with her and not even for getting caught for the reaction she had and how fragile she always was to me. I mention what she had does because stupidly I should have left when I had the chance. Even other instances where she had initiated things, I knew it might have not been the healthiest but she showed other signs of real true love. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is nasty etc. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker by burning bridges, he told me to leave them alone I’m being childish. I understand I fucked up and fully agree. She’s done things and I know I shouldn’t have let be, but staying and getting revenge wasn’t the way. I’m realizing that as the hours even go by everyday I think about it. I want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had because I never ONCE disrespected them in their house, to their face. I called them Mr and Mrs always and always asked if they needed anything. I talked to a close female friend who said this stuff needs time and I can apologize if I’d like and if it makes me feel better, or write a letter and burn it. My parents said that’s not my character and said apologize if you feel necessary as I wasn’t raised like that. I feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text? I just want this weight off my chest of being the shitty person at the end at least to her parents who didn’t need any of that.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. I know I was emotional for no reason as I had done hurt to her in the past too. Seeing her move on so fast is what bothered me but I see she wanted me to feel what she felt. I just feel bad sitting on the thought that I left her parents with such a bad image of myself even thought it doesn’t matter anymore just doesn’t sit with me. Help?

My boyfriend and I had made plans a week ago to go out to the city yesterday and take cute couple photos, which was actually his idea to begin with. Our work schedules are pretty opposite. So, when we hang out any other day, it’s usually after work for me and it’s usually just dinner and hanging out for a couple of hours. I knew that this day with the photos would take a good chunk of our day and we both wanted to make sure we had plenty of time together. The only solution we could come up with would be to take the day off. I ended up taking the day off.
Well, yesterday morning, at 7am, he texts me saying he’s taking his sister to the ER and that we need to reschedule the original time we had planned. I responded saying “hope everything is okay, keep me updated”. And then I hadn’t heard from him all day. I called him, texted him and nothing. He then updates me, 9 hours later that his sister fell and hit her head. I expressed my concern and wished for her speedy recovery. I then asked him to call me when he had chance. He calls, and we talked for about 10 minutes. He said sorry for not saying anything and that his phone was on silent and didn’t want to talk to anyone and that he couldn’t focus on anything else.
I’m not mad that he couldn’t meet up, obviously his sister is injured, so he says. It’s the communication. He has actually used the ER excuse as a reason in the past when we had made plans. One time he claimed to have been in the ER for chest pain and didn’t tell me until midnight, claimed it’s too hard to think when you’re in that kind of situation. Another time, we were supposed to go on a birthday weekend getaway, he had gone to the ER and it had gotten canceled. One time he was supposed to see me, he claimed he needed to help his friend with something and couldn’t meet up. So, Idk, it seems weird something like this happens constantly when we have plans.
We actually broke up 3 months ago because of his communication problems. He didn’t talk to me for 10 days after losing his job, he basically acted like I didn’t exist to him and that he was dealing with his issues and that I shouldn’t be upset with him. I broke up with him for this. Then 2 months later, he reached out again, apologized for everything and promised to work on it and that he still loves me. I decided to give him another chance, and things were good, up until today.
What bothers me, is he knew I took the day off for us. I know technically it’s not a big deal, but I work in the medical field and hate taking days off unless absolutely necessary. He knows how I feel about my job. And then the whole disappearing act of not saying anything to me. Claimed to be not on his phone and was ignoring all calls. I’m sitting at home worried sick and he doesn’t even have the decency to take one minute out of his day to text me to update me. And considering the type of injury she had, he could’ve told me that I should go to work because he won’t be able to make it, but he basically had me sitting and waiting for him. This almost feels break up worthy for me. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting though.
Tldr: bf and I made plans to go take photos in the city then he proceeded to not say anything to me for an entire day. He had to take his sister to the hospital and said we would reschedule for a later time, making it seem like we would meet up, but he didn’t. He has used the ER excuse before and has had communication issues which upsets me so much whenever it occurs

He already replaced me after a few months. Just saw a pic of him and his new girl all happy and cute together while I’m in bed still crying over this man. I can’t recover from this. Life is so unfair. Why does he, the horrible person that he is, get to be happy and forget me like I meant nothing? And I’m left picking myself up after being shattered into a million pieces? I’m a good person. I don’t deserve this. What did I do wrong in life to have this happen to me? I had good intentions. I did everything I could to make it work. I loved him unconditionally with my whole heart and I got discarded and forgotten about like a piece of trash. I can’t let go and move on. I want this pain to stop and the only way out I see is ending it all. I’m sorry

Hey y’all! Does anyone have any recommendations for high quality masks that aren’t so medical looking? I (30’s/F) usually wear an Aura, but my brother’s wedding is coming up and it’s a fancy black tie event. I’m already going to stick out like a sore thumb being the only person wearing a mask, so I was just curious if there are any high quality masks that are somewhat cute out there? Or if there’s some way to make a mask look less medical-y? I’m great at DIY stuff and could make a mask look cute, but I don’t want to do anything that will affect the efficacy/integrity of the mask either so idk if that’s even worth considering. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Hey everyone, wanted some feedback on my school list, is it too top heavy? I think I am a strong applicant, and I have dreams of a T10 acceptance, but I’m not sure if I’m overestimating my competitiveness, or if I need a reality check.
Stats: ORM, NY resident, T30 Undergrad, 2023 grad (so two gap years) GPA: 4.00, Psych Major MCAT: Score coming back 6/11, FL average was 524, but felt rushed on cars so I probably did a little lower than FL avg.. Predicting 519-522 score.
Narrrative: Overall, pretty strong ”mental health in medicine” narrative backing up my PS and experiences.
Research: 1500 hours clinical psychiatry research (4 year commitment) 2 published abstracts, 1 first author paper in review, 1 second author paper in review, presented at 1 professional conference, received a $1000 research grant from my uni.
Clinical Employment: 650 hours split between two inpatient mental health facilities
Non-Clinical Employment: 150 hours as lumberyard worker
Clinical Volunteering: 75 hours as behavioral health aide, helping w autistic children.
Non-Clinical Volunteering: 150 hours at Crisis text line
Leadership: 200 hours as high school & K-5 wrestling coach
Shadowing: 100 hours, between Internal Medicine & Neurology
LORs: 1 science prof, 1 non-science prof, 2 research PI letters, committee letter. To my knowledge, the 2 PI LORs are very strong, and one PI has clout lol
Athletics: 2000 hours D3 athlete across freshmen and sophomore year, had to stop after sophomore year due to injuries, big part of my story regarding mental health
Artistic endeavors: Songwriting/music production…been making rap music for 6 years have 2 full length albums out, multiple music videos, 50,000+ streams, etc.
School list (35 schools, I know it’s a lot, but I’ve already started pre-writing secondaries)

• very high tier: Harvard, Hopkins, Upenn, Columbia, Duke, Stanford, Cornell, Yale, Mt. Sinai, NYU, Mayo, Ucsf, Northwestern, UMich, Pittt, WashU (st.louis), uchicago, Vanderbuilt • Slightly less high tier: Case western, Brown , Emory, Dartmouth, Albert Einstein • Mid tier: Rochester, Stony Brook, UMiami, Tufts, V-tech • “Easier” NY schools: SUNY Upstate, Suny Downstate , Buffalo, Hofstra, NYMC, UAlbany. 

Please let me know what you guys think!

In the opening scene og the 1993 movie "Latcho Drom" (safe journey), by Tony Gatlif, there is a song (https://youtu.be/NuproV4u4EU?si=GixyyAM0UHIf4ZZn) which I would very much like to learn how to sing. I'm from Norway.
The song is called "Sat Bhayan Ki Ek Behanadli" which I have learned means something like "Seven Brothers and one Sister"
and that:
"The song is basically a story of a girl who has 7 brothers, so basically she is very pampered and taken care of, growing up. Rajasthan is also a place where girls would get arrange married at a younger age. So in this song she is complaining to her mom and brothers that why did you get me married off so far away to this guy. I have to come here all the way in a train (a luxury from back when this story originated) and the ticket checker asks for the ticketed and my husband doesn't even buy me tickets to come see you. I am the more adored sister of 7 brothers, why did you all get me married off so far away all the way on the other side of the dunes (sand dunes from the desert)"
What I wish for is a transcription of the rajastani words with latin alphabet lettering, so that I'm am able to understand what words are being sung in order to learn to sing it myself.
Thank you for your time! Such a beautiful song.

I am a registered Democrat who watched so many Frank Capra films that I actually care about justice and what is happening to Trump is just an outrage.
Look at this: Judge in Trump hush-money trial received letter of caution for making $35 in political contributions (abajournal.com)
The Judge donated money to an organization called "Stop Republicans". This guy has no objectivity or integrity? Why is the world not calling this guy out for what he is?
More corruption in NY than anywhere else: PolitiFact Yes, New York has more corrupt officials than any other state
Frankly - you do not get to be a judge in New York City unless you are a political hack and lackey of the Democratic Party.
Here's how you become a judge in NY:

1. You fail as a lawyer. Nobody who can make money as a lawyer wants to be a judge. This is why the current lawyer on the stand feels such contempt for Marchan.
2. Because you failed as a lawyer, you run to the Democratic party and beg help.
3. They give you a job but expect help in return.
4. Now Marchan is paying back his debt to the Democrats.

Wise up! This is a kangaroo court and this is NOT American justice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 7 of me looking for cute Snapchat friends ! Looking to have conversations, keep me company while at work, and genuinely make some friendships happen, dm me for username! Or send yours

Hi so I feel like a lot of the discourse about people not liking this season is also in part people not really understanding what friends to lovers is, specifically the relationship between Colin and Penelope, so I thought I might share my thoughts :)
Now I haven’t read the books - this is all based on what I gleaned from the show on multiple rewatches and as someone who has been the Penelope in a friendship for a longggg long time. Hopefully this makes sense.
———
Romance tropes are so often boiled down to their immediate, basic truths. The popular enemies to lovers, for example: Enemy 1 + Enemy 2 + sexual tension = Lover 1 and Lover 2. Not to say enemies to lovers can’t be complex, but generally the starting point for enemies is an essential lack of trust between the parties and moments of connection (via fights) fueled by intense feelings of hatred/rage/whatever which can, in turn, translate to sexual tension. Due to the lack of trust, when they do get together it’s an explosion of that intense energy, highlighted even more-so by the knowledge that they don’t truly trust each other but they need each other which makes the heart race all the more and the passion all that more explosive.
Let’s look at Kate and Anthony as this trope. When they meet there is an immediate spark, fueled by a race in which they’re in competition. Once she hears him at the ball she decides she will do everything in her power to stop him from marrying her sister, and since he is determined to marry Edwina every interaction they have from that point on, until they have their happily ever after in the last episode, can be considered a fight. Moments like the bane of my existence and you vex me are such high intensity because it’s two people fueled by anger and sexual/romantic tension. They need each other like air but will do everything to fight it because of the anger, making the onscreen affections super intense for the viewer (especially as viewers who have just been introduced to Kate and are getting to know her through the lens of Anthony).
Now friends to lovers is, if I may say, quite a bit more complicated. All friendships are different - if you’re new friends your pipeline to lovers is likely entirely different to old friends to lovers. If one party is in love with the other that changes the dynamic entirely; are they long distance or close? Were they childhood friends? Are they both likeable and popular or is one more nerdy and quiet or both? All of these and more create new dynamics and emotions that can lead to love in different ways. My point is that friends to lovers is not as easy to pin down as something like enemies to lovers. So that’s why a couple like Polin may seem like they don’t have as much chemistry on screen - because their intensity shines in a different way than what we’re used to.
———
Going into season three we know that Penelope has been in love with Colin for a long time, but during that time the two also formed a close friendship. When Colin proposed to Marina, yes Penelope whistledowned about the pregnancy to stop him from marrying her for love reasons, but also because he is her friend and she didn’t want to see him trapped in a loveless marriage. We also know that when Colin traveled between seasons one and two Penelope most often responded to his letters. Even during a scene in season two Pen specifically asks to hear more about his travels, even though everyone else in Colin’s life had asked him to stop talking about it. Pen’s crush and friendship don’t cancel each other out, they exist side by side as two parts of Penelope that often overlap but are most importantly separate entities. And she knows that.
Colin does not. In season three when Colin is talking about when they first met, Penelope looks away with anxiety when Colin suggests he knows why Penelope was so forward in making fun of him for falling off his horse and starting their friendship. She knows it’s because she had a crush on him. He states that it was because they were kids. This means it’s canon that Penelope had a crush on him since the moment they met. As a result, Colin has never experienced a friendship with Pen that doesn’t also have an underlying crush. He doesn’t know that Pen doesn’t respond to everyone’s letters all the time, or hangs onto their every word, or goes out of her way to talk to them. How Pen acts around him is how he assumes she acts around everyone - that’s why he doesn’t pick up on her crush.
It’s also why, I argue, he doesn’t realize that he loves her until the kiss in season three. He truly and genuinely takes her affections, her friendship, for granted because he doesn’t understand that someone so loyal and loving like that is rare. He doesn’t appear to have much else in the way of friends; outside of his family we don’t really see him interact with other men, and in season three the “friends” he does spend time with make comments to suggest they only started hanging out with him after his personality change to be more like his brothers - a rake who doesn’t care much for real affections. It’s why he said he would never court Penelope Featherington, or why he said “You are Pen, you do not count” when asked why he was still talking to her if he swore off women. He was super young when his dad died, so the only male role models he has for what love means are Anthony and Benedict. So, as he understands it, a man courting a woman is about sleeping around until the man finds a suitable match that pleases the family regardless of the man’s happiness. Even though he saw that Anthony fell in love by the time Colin said he would never court Pen, he didn’t see Anthony’s journey to understanding that love is not something to run from but something to cherish like we, the viewers, did. Anthony’s arc was just background noise for Colin, so it wasn’t like that would change his outlook on what Anthony’s actions in season one and beginning of season two loudly called out: choosing love over meaningless sex is idiotic and weak. Colin is genuinely distressed when Penelope walks away from him at the garden party in the first episode of season three, and he went after her to explain that he missed her when she stopped writing to him on his travels. He loves his relationship with her, not understanding that what he feels is actually love for her because he has never been aware that true love feels the way it does when he is with Pen. In fact it is explained in a letter that the reason he decided to try being like his brothers is BECAUSE Penelope stopped responding to him during his travels between seasons two and three. He decided to start guarding his heart, throwing on the rakish armor we see him dawn in the first half of season three, because he didn’t have that relationship that made him feel stable and loved anymore. He sees Penelope as his best friendship, rather than the love of his life, because he literally can’t see it any other way based on how everything in his life played out to that point.
———
Okay this is way longer than I intended this to be already, but to finally make it to my main point! The Friends to Lovers trope as it plays out in Season Three Part One: Polin Do Be Polining.
What does all this mean for how Polin’s intensity shines? Due to the way their friendship has played out things like Colin taking Pen to the dance floor (not small social feat btw) in season one when Cressida bullies her, seeking each other out at social events, Pen asking about his travels - all of these are part of their romance! It’s all part of the slow burn; it’s just less slap-you-in-the-face noticeable, to a viewer of a show about romance, as Kate and Anthony and even Simon and Daphne because acting like friends is an implicit part of Polin’s love story. Because they are best friends as well as lovers!!
This is in full display in Season three, though put more on blast since it’s their season to get together. Colin saying he’ll teach Penelope how to get a husband isn’t a pity thing, it’s a real moment of genuine care that Colin is extending towards her.
—— “Pen wants to get a husband to be happy? Great! I’ll help her get a husband to make her happy because her happiness means everything to me.” - top ten photos taken ten seconds before disaster. ——
And it works! They start spending all this time together, and Pen has always looked gorgeous but is finally wearing clothes that she feels gorgeous in and you can see it in the way she acts, and suddenly Colin’s heart starts doing all these weird jumps around her like when she’s in the drawing room and when she wraps his hand because he has always loved her, so he doesn’t understand what these feelings that are coming up during these scenes are because they are not new feelings, just more intense ones of what he believes is pure friendship.
Penelope, during all of this, has had her brain decide to give up on Colin Bridgerton (even though her heart hasn’t). As someone who’s been there, being in unrequited love with your friend is brutal but you can never really let go. No matter how many people they date, or the hours you spend together talking about their new crush, or the life moments share together where they do everything but love you there is always that small spark of hope in your chest that you can’t let go of lest they ever possibly realize they love you back. That chance is too precious to give up - that’s why Penelope can’t give Debling a real answer when he asks her if she would like to be with Colin in episode four. Logically she knows she should give it up but her heart just can’t. She is a hopeless romantic and her life has been spinning around Colin Bridgerton since she was 16 like the earth around the Sun. There is no other way to live, for her, if she isn’t in love with Colin. And that’s what breaks her heart the most.
It’s also why, I believe, she asks him to kiss her in that garden. She had just written about herself in Whistledown that she did the upmost embarrassing act of taking Colin’s assistance on the marriage market, and her mother dressed her down about being a spinster for the rest of her life. All of Pen’s plans, of marrying and getting out and even finding what could turn into love, are utterly gone for her in that moment when she goes out to the garden. She doesn’t have her prospects. She doesn’t have Eloise. She doesn’t have safety in her own home. The only thing she has left is Colin. That’s why she asks him to kiss her, because he might grant her this one kindness of making her feel alive for just this one moment before the rest of her life ends. That moment is the culmination of all of her feelings up to that point in the show. She’s given up on Colin - she wouldn’t have asked him to kiss her had she any hope left. This was her last ditch attempt to just be a girl and be kissed regardless of what he actually meant to her. It wasn’t out of desperation, it was staring down the barrel of the gun with societies’s finger on the trigger.
When she asks him Colin is taken aback. Not because he doesn’t want to kiss her but because he has never considered it before. Kissing was reserved for women you are looking to sleep with at a bar, for prostitutes in alleyways, not for his caring Pen. I’ve seen some upset over not including more of Colin’s writing in the show, as he becomes quite the writer in the books apparently, and the writing we do see is just about sex but given the way they paced the show they provided the most important piece of context for Colin’s understanding of intimacy in the writing they did use. He wonders how one can feel, despite sleeping with every kind of woman across Europe, such intimacy in physical closeness and yet such distance emotionally. It’s some level of satisfying for him to sleep around, but it doesn’t fulfill him in the way it seemed to fulfill his brothers. He cannot equate the idea of kissing to Penelope because he feels such emotional closeness to her. But when she brings it up, suddenly everything clicks into place for him. All the emotions he feels towards her, what he thought was just friendship, is so much more. Yes she is his friend, but by god he wants to kiss his friend.
———
Their kiss is sweet, and soft. Unlike Daphne and Anthony’s first kisses with their respective partners it isn’t this immense clashing of bodies and teeth. It’s two friends who love each other finally meeting each other as sparks fly and shivers run down their spines.
Colin is left speechless, and confused. The kiss was amazing to him because he finally unlocked that part of him that made him realize he was in love with Penelope. The kiss was amazing to Penelope because she has been in love with him for so long, but it was also tinged with her own doubts and feelings of hopelessness. That’s why she runs away, and thanks him, because this was her last stand and he was just her friend helping her out as she believes.
But as always, a night of sleep helps clarify things. The next time Pen goes into society she is awkward but still well intentioned about getting a husband because that kiss was a long day’s worth of self pity followed by, in her terms, a moment of weakness. But it clarified things for her too. Now she can’t die without ever having been kissed, so that ultimatum she set up in her own mind was gone and everything seems much more manageable from that point on. Colin, as we know, is a wreck who is absolutely bamboozled at these feelings and we love to watch him flounder!!!
———
Now the tables have been turned. To those of who are think Penelope should have chosen Debling, this part is for you. This is when Debling really starts to court Penelope as she goes after him. She literally fights Cressida for him, because he seems like the most amenable husband for her to be able to continue Whistledown and be provided security. She isn’t looking for love in Debling because she already has love in Colin (love she believes will always remain unrequited, but that kiss can be a memory she cherishes for the rest of her life and that be that); she basically did was Anthony did at the beginning of season two. Find a suitable match that makes the most sense for her and leave love out of it. She likes Debling, for sure, and he’s a rly nice guy!! He cares about her in a way that a suitor might, and I’m certain had they gotten married he wouldn’t have been mean to her or anything. But she would’ve been lonely. As remembered she is a romantic, someone who craves the love she reads about in her romance books. She’s spent most of her conscious life in love - marrying Debling would stop that in its tracks. In his own words, Debling tells Pen that he could try to maybe love her but that it was far too unlikely to find any room in his heart her for over his passions (aroace Debling stand rise). He specifically mentions that he is choosing her to marry because she has her own passions, separate from his, that can keep her company while he is gone both physically and emotionally from her. She doesn’t realize this until it’s too late, when her focus on the chase is over, and Debling asks her mother for her hand. It’s only then that she thinks that maybe she could hold out for love, and that power is strong enough to make her actively not want to ensure her security through Debling.
Love is treacherous, and yet we yearn for it like a sailor who cannot help but smile at the beauty of the raging sea at it comes crashing down upon him. Penelope would rather a thousand lifetimes of the chance to be in love with Colin over one lifetime married to Debling in safety.
That is why Debling breaks it off with her. Because she loves Colin, Debling knows she would choose Colin over him, and he sees Colin’s interest in her even if she does not. Like Colin literally found out she was going to get engaged, ran to the ball, interrupted the dance wherein Debling was going to ask Pen to marry him, ran after her carriage just to know if she was engaged because he couldn’t fathom letting her get away in a loveless marriage, and when finding out she was not engaged telling her he loved her even if she did not love him back because he simply had to express to her how much he loved her as he owed her that as his friend. Colin got in his knees in that carriage because he was genuinely splaying out his heart to her for her to dissect as she chose. He put himself at her mercy because that is where he believes his place to be - just hers, and no one else’s.
———
The carriage scene is, of course, the moment of highest intensity from the viewer standpoint of what we think love should appear to be. Other scenes could be Colin’s dream, and the moment in the sweets tent, etc. But those moments aren’t all of Polin’s love story. They may be the most visceral to witness, but they are just as important as the two of them laughing together in the corner of a ball. Their romantic trope is defined as Friends to Lovers, but that isn’t quite right - they are both. There is no big “or” between the two. Colin and Penelope are friends and lovers, and all of it is a beauty to witness.
And that’s all! If you’ve made it this far thanks for sticking around to listen to my obsessive thoughts. I wish you a very happy Bridgerton rewatch :)

For federal public service (FPS), I know that:

• making any change, even small, is a very lengthy process in FPS because of the bureaucracy.
  
• it has a great pension plan from what I've heard.
  
• the steps to getting a job involve answering the screening questions, passing written tests and interviews which then allow you to be placed in a pool, and then you may be picked from the pool sometime or never. It's an extremely lengthy process to get hired.
  
• you need to go through a Reliability, Secret or Top Secret clearance screening.
  
• French. If you don't know French, it's career limiting.
  

However, I know very little about OPS. So far, all I know/have heard is:

• OPS requires a cover letter for all applications whereas the federal public service (FPS) has screening questions.
  
• OPS has higher salaries.
  

How is OPS similar and different compared to FPS? What should I know? Additionally, if anyone can speak to the 5 points I made for FPS and how they compare in OPS, that would be great.
Thank you!

Edit for info: i am 21 he his 23, met in 2021, been dating for a year. Fwb before that.
I might sound a little unhinged, but i guess I’m wanting to know if I’m in the wrong for wanting to bring it up to talk about it.
This morning, my boyfriend got a barrage of voice memos from a friend he hadn’t talked to in a while. From my understanding she’s a lesbian, but she seemed to have just gone through a breakup.
He played them out loud, it was probably 5 solid minutes of her talking, saying she wants to make music with him, and go to a festival together this summer. She also called him handsome within a string of compliments and she said that she loves him. She’s a very hippie, rave, spiritual kind of person. My boyfriend is more on the fringe of that ideology, and so am I. So the statements of love seemed like a very “we’ve been friends for so long, we used to do shrooms and have those experiences together” thing. (My bf does not use psychedelics anymore)
He despises responding to people, he seems to feel like he has to perform when doing so. So he was dreading responding to her 5 minutes of manic ramblings. He probably wrote for a solid 20-30 minutes. He showed me the bulk of text, not close enough for me to read it. It was multiple paragraphs. He made a joke about how he tried to match her energy, and use the hippie vernacular from his past. I told him half-jokingly i want to hear it, initially because i was curious to hear his attempt at a spiritual vibe. He dismissed it and acted kind of weird, he mentioned he didn’t want me to hearead it because or her saying she loved him and him trying to match that energy.
I dropped it at that because deep down i trust him, we had problems years ago before we were exclusively dating and he has made incredible efforts to make it known that he is devoted to me. I have a lot of anxiety about it, and he knows that. He has told me every time he has communicated with exes usually a “hey, we were dicks to each other, no hard feelings cool bye” or a “stop contacting me” i also know he’s not physically doing anything wrong, we are together every weekend, and he texts me incredibly frequently, we also have each other’s location. He is a home body who will go out once a month with one of his best freinds and thats it. Even then he texts me cute little pictures of him or drunk shenanigans (usually videos of him climbing trees lol)
But now that im home, i feel like theres a reason he didnt want me to read the texts, i thought she was a lesbian but in her voice memo she said her partner, which is what my boyfriend calls me since im nonbinary, but i know from experience he was quite the man hoe when we met.
I keep imagining senarios where he had a thing with her and was being a little too comfortable in the texts, or since he put in a lot of effort to match her energy that it was some sort of proclimation about how amazing she is and “YES! We should totaly hang out, you beautiful being” when he doesnt really treat me with that kind of adoration.
I want to bring it up, that im anxious about it, and i feel like our relationship has been so incredibly open that this is out of character. We pick our noses in front of each other, we’ve talked about trauma we’ve never told anyone about before, he’s shit his pants in front of me, theres nothing too intence or embarrassing for us.
Why did he not want me to read it?
Sorry for grammaspelling/punctuation, my phone overheats when i type too long so its hard to edit.

The ask questions and answer questions learning method has four types: General Question Learning Method (GQLM), Partial Question Learning Method (PQLM), Reading Question Learning Method (RQLM), and Characteristic Question Learning Method (CQLM): https://www.reddit.com/usetevvyline/comments/1cprjw7/the_ask_questions_and_answer_questions_learning/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
[Rules for combining types]

1. The square brackets [ ] show the order for combining. For example, you first combine the types inside the smallest square bracket and then you start using the types outside of that bracket to change certain attributes of the types in the smallest square bracket. (Rule 12).
2. The letter A (affector) is used for types that affect E or M types.Types in a double type combination can not be both affectors.
3. The letter E (effector) is used for types that get affected by affector types. Types in a double type combination can be both Effectors. Being an effector type bring out the type's natural rules such as choose a number or choose wh- questions in double type combinations, but does not combine them. Two E types can be unusable if there is no A type next to them. Additionally, if every type in a combination is an E type, it can be a switch combination. Switch combinations represent what standard form combinations or type combinations you can switch while learning.
4. When a type can be both an A and E type, the letter M (mixed) is used. M types can not affect A types, but they can affect E types and M types.
5. When starting the combination process, you go from left to right. If an A type has an E type next to it, you will combine them both. If an A type has an A type next to it, that A type will "hop" over its A type neighbour and keep hopping over other A types until it finds an E or M type to combine with.
6. The phrase (number) part time is used to indicate the target of a type (what type they want to combine with). The number starts at 0 in the position of the closest E or M type to the right of the type affected by part time, and it increases by 1 every time you reach another type to the right of it. You need to increase the value of the number to the number of the part time.
7. Full time is used to indicate that a type's targets are every E or M type to its right.
8. The symbol / is used to indicate "floors of combinations". When the / symbol is used, some types are sorted into (type)/ and /(type). There are two floors and it is behind the / and after the /. This symbol is used to lower the space required for combining. If a type doesn't have a / symbol and it has neighbor types with the / symbol, it affects them both if they can be targeted.
9. The multiplication sign × indicates an added rule and the addition sign + and the subtraction sign − indicates adding or subtracting types.
10. In very specific cases of combinations, there can be an object (OB) that you can either add or subtract to one or more types. A and M types can not affect objects.
11. Letters are used to simplify the combination process. The letters A for affector, E for effector, M for mixed, and OB for object are added before type letters. Part time and full time are added before the letters A, E, M, and OB and are separated by a space. For example 2PT AG1. [Type letters] GQLM 1 = G1 GQLM 2 = G2 Systemic PQLM = SP Wh- question PQLM = WP (Number) part time = (number) PT Full time = FT
12. The types outside of the smallest square bracket [ ] can affect attributes in different ways of the combined types in the smallest square bracket. They sometimes do not act the same like the types in the smallest square bracket.

• GQLM 1 = make something be asked all the time or remove something. Ex. [1PT AWP × AG1 [MSP × MWP × EG1]] = one or more wh- questions chosen by Wh- question PQLM can have their systemic number removed, making them asked all the time. The AG1 is targeting MSP and this means AG1 removes the systemic number for one or more wh- questions.
• GQLM 2 = change a specific attribute of a type. Ex. [1PT AWP × AG2 [MSP × MWP × EG1]] = one or more wh- questions chosen by Wh- question PQLM can have their systemic number increased or decreased. The AG2 is targeting MSP and this means AG2 increases or decreases the systemic number for one or more wh- questions.
• Wh- question PQLM = choose one or more. Examples [1PT AWP × AG1 [MSP × MWP × EG1]] and [1PT AWP × AG2 [MSP × MWP × EG1]] have both an outside Wh- question PQLM. The 3PT AWP type is targeting the MWP type and this means "choose one or more wh- questions".
• Systemic PQLM = choose a number for the second result of something. First result and second results: systemic number: first result is not asking one question with the value of the systemic number decreasing by 1 and second result is asking one question when the value decreases to 0. -- ask limit: first result is asking one question with the value of the ask limit increasing by 1 and the second result is not asking one question with the value of the ask limit decreasing by 1. Ex. [ASP x [MSP x EG1]] (systemic number for all types of questions) = means that all types of questions get a systemic number and once the systemic number reaches 0, you ask a certain number of questions chosen by the number of the ASP.
• RQLM 1 = reverse something Ex. [AR1 x 1PT MSP [MG1 x ESP]] (ask limit for all types of questions) = means that the MSP first choses how much the ask limit value of all questions decreases when not answering a question (asking a question can increase the ask limit value by 1 and not answering a question can decrease the ask limit value by 3). The "second result" turns into a "first result" target for the MSP when the AR1 affects it. This means that you can choose how much the ask limit value of all questions types increases when asking a question. If you want to affect both the first result and the second result, you can make the combination [AR1 x 1PT MSP x 1PT ASP [MG1 x ESP]].
• Repeating RQLM = change one of a type's characteristic when the characteristic is used one time. Ex. [1PT RQ [MSP x EG1]] (systemic number for all types of questions) = means that the RQ choses the starting value of the systemic number every time the systemic number reaches 0. For example, the starting value of a systemic number could be 4 and after it reaches 0, it could be 2. 13.. When combining, you need to find the highest number of possible combinations. For example, [ASP x AWP x EG1] = a systemic number is given to all types of questions + all the wh- questions chosen are asked all the time.

[Standard form combinations] -- [AG1 × EG2] = GQLM 1 -- [AG2 × EG1] = GQLM 2 -- [ASP × EG1] = Systemic PQLM -- [AWP × EG1] = Wh- question PQLM -- [AR1 × EG1] = RQLM 1 -- [ARR × EG1] = Repeating RQLM -- [C1 x EG1] = CQLM 1 -- [TC x EG1] = Time CQGLM -- [AMC × EG1] = Mental image CQLM [Standard form switch combinations] --[[AG1 × EG2] + [AG2 × EG1]] = GQLM 1 and GQLM 2 can be switched. -- [[ASP × EG1] + [AWP × EG1]] = Systemic PQLM and Wh- question PQLM can be switched. -- [[AG1 × EG2] + [ASP × EG1]] = GQLM 1 and Systemic PQLM can be switched. and so on... Standard form combinations are not counted as double type combinations.
Definitions:

1. When a systemic number is shared between multiple types of questions, it means that the systemic number decreases by 1 every time you let any of those types of questions go unanswered. When a systemic number is non shared between multiple types of questions, it means that each type of question has its own systemic number that decreases by 1 individually for that type of question when you let that type of question go unanswered.
2. When an ask limit is shared between multiple types of questions, it means that the value of all those types of questions increases by 1 every time you ask any of those types of questions and decreases by 1 every time you let any of those types of questions go unanswered. When an ask limit is non shared between multiple types of questions, it means that each type of question has its own ask limit that the value of each type of question increases and decreases individually when it is asked or left unanswered.

Some of these double type combinations are unusable and may be useful in triple type combinations, quadruple type combinations, and so on. The main reasons these double type combinations can not be used are:

1. No GQLM 1 or GQLM 2 type in the combination. GQLM 1 is like a "field" for questions. GQLM 1 is commonly modified to make combinations. GQLM 2 can also be modified, but it makes everything become optional. GQLM 2 is used more often to change attributes of types.
2. One or both of the types have no functions in the combination.

Symbol meanings: [1] all the wh- questions chosen by Wh- question PQLM [2] given a non shared systemic number [3] given a non shared ask limit [4] choose a number [5] choose one or more wh- questions [6] ask questions for every type of information you encounter [7] given a shared ask limit [8] given a shared systemic number [9] all types of questions [1/] mental image questions [1Y] one or more wh- questions can have their ask limit (GQLM 1) removed or one or more wh- questions can have their ask limit (GQLM 2) increased or decreased. [1X] one or more wh- questions can have their systemic number (GQLM 1) removed or one or more wh- questions can have their systemic number (GQLM 2) increased or decreased. [Qu] = questions [Z] asked all the time [F] given a feel like effect (GQLM 2). [R] given a repeating effect (repeating RQLM). [TR] = repeating effect [M] given a mental image effect (mental image CQLM). [A] given a no answer effect (RQLM 1). [O] only [IN] given to
[Non useable double inner type combinations] (No GQLM 1) -- [ASP × EWP] = [12] -- [AWP × ESP] = [13] -- [ESP × EWP] = [4] + [5] [Non useable double outer type combinations] (One or both of the types are useless) -- [ESP × EG1 or EG2] = [4] + [6] or [6F] -- [EWP × EG1 or EG2] = [5] + [6] or [6F] (No GQLM 1) -- [ARR × EMC] = [9RM] -- [EMC × ERR] = + [9RM] -- [ARR × EWP] or [AWP x ERR] = [1R] -- [ARR × ESP] = [TR7] -- [ASP × ERR] = [TR8] -- [AMC × ESP] = [97M] -- [ASP × EMC] = [98M] -- [AWP × ERR] or [ARR × EWP] = [1R] -- [AWP × EMR] = [1M] or [AMC × EWP] = [1M] -- [AMC × ERR] = [9RM] [Useable double inner type combinations] -- [AG1 × EG2] = [6] Standard form combination GQLM 1 -- [AG2 × EG1] = [6F] Standard form combination GQLM 2 -- [ARR × ER1] or [ER1 x ERR] = [9A] + [9R] -- [AR1 × ERR] = [9AR] [Useable double outer type combinations] -- [AG1 × ESP] = [97] -- [ASP × EG1] = [98] Standard form combination of Systemic PQLM. -- [AWP × EG1] = [1O6] Standard form combination Wh- question PQLM. -- [AWP × EG2] or [AG2 x EWP] = [1F] -- [AG2 × ESP] = [92/8F] -- [AMC × ER1] = [9AM] -- [EMC × ER1] = [9AM] -- [AR1 × EG1] = [6A] Standard form combination of RQLM 1. -- [AR1 × EG2] or [AG2 x ER1] = [9FA] -- [AR1 × EWP] or [AWP x ER1] = [1A] -- [AR1 × ESP] = [9A7] -- [ASP × ER1] = [9A8] -- [ARR × EG1] = [9R] Standard form combination of repeating RQLM. -- [ARR × EG2] or [AG2 × ERR] = [9FR] -- [AMC × EG1] = [9M] Standard form combination of Mental image CQLM. -- [AMC × EG2] or [AG2 × EMR] = [9MF] -- [AG2 × EWP] = [1F] -- [ASP × EG2] = [98F] -- [AR1 × EMC] = [9AM]
[Unknown effect or impossible combinations] -- [AG1 × EWP] = ?
Symbol meanings (simplified): [13] all the wh- question chosen are given a non shared ask limit. [17] all the wh- questions chosen are given a shared ask limit. [1Y] one or more wh- questions can have their ask limit (AG1) removed, making those wh- questions asked all the time/one or more wh- questions can have their ask limit (AG2) increased or decreased, making some wh- questions have different ask limits. [12] all the wh- question chosen are given a non shared systemic number. [18] all the wh- question chosen are given a shared systemic number. [1X] one or more wh- questions can have their systemic number (AG1) removed, making them asked all the time/one or more wh- questions can have their systemic number (AG2) increased or decreased, making some wh- questions have different systemic numbers. [98] a shared systemic number is given to all types of questions. [97] a shared ask limit is given to all types of questions. [1Z] all the wh- question's chosen are asked all the time.
[Triple inner type combinations] Currently not enough types. [Triple outer type combination] -- [ASP × MWP × EG1] = [12] -- [ASP × MWP × EWP] = [18] -- [ASP × AWP × EG1] = [98] + [1Z] -- [FT ASP × MWP × EG1] = [12] + [98] -- [AG1 × MSP × EWP] = [17] -- [AWP × MSP × EG1] = [13] [Quadruple inner type combinations] Currently not enough types. [Quadruple outer type combinations] -- [2PT MSP × MWP × MSP x EG1]] = [13] + [98] -- [1PT ASP × AG1 × MSP × EWP] = [17] + [12] [(5) Quintuple outer type combination] -- [AG1 × ESP × ASP × MWP × EWP] = [18] + [97] -- [ASP × EG1 × ASP × MWP × EWP] = [18] + [98] -- [AG1 × ESP × AG1 × MSP × EWP] = [17] + [97] -- [ASP × EG1 × AG1 × MSP × EWP] = [17] + [98] -- [ASP/AG1 × MWP/MSP × EWP] = [17] + [18] -- [1PT AWP × AG1 or AG2 × [AG1 × MSP × EWP] = [17] + [1Y] -- [AWP × 1PT AG1 or AG2 × [MWP × MSP × EG1]] = [13] + [1Y] -- [1PT AWP × AG1 or AG2 × [MSP × MWP × EG1]] = [12] + [1X] -- [ASP × 2PT MWP × AWP × MSP × EG1] = [13] + [12] -- [AG1 × ESP × ASP × MWP × EG1] = [12] + [97] -- [1PT AWP × AG1 or AG2 × [FT MSP × MWP × EG1]] = [12] + [1X] + [98] [(6) Sextuple outer type combinations] -- [ASP/AWP × MWP/MSP × EWP/EG1] = [13] + [18] -- [1 PT AWP × AG1 or AG2 × [1PT ASP × AG1 × MSP × EWP] = [17] + [1Y] + [12] -- [AWP × 1PT AG1 or AG2 × [1PT AG1 × MWP × MSP × EG1]] = [13] + [97] -- [1PT AWP × 2PT AG1 or AG2 × [2PT MSP × MWP × MSP × EG1]] = [13] + [1Y] + [98] -- [AWP × 1PT AG1 or AG2 × [1PT AG1 + MWP × MSP × EG1]] = [13] + [1Y] + [12] [(7) Septuple outer type combination] -- [/1 PT AWP × /AG1 or AG2 × [ASP/AG1 × MWP/MSP × EWP]] = [17] + [1Y] + [18] -- [1PT AWP × 2PT AG1 or AG2 × [2PT AG1 × 2PT MSP × MWP × MSP × EG1]] = [13] + [98] + [97] -- [1PT AWP × 2PT AG1 or AG2 × [ASP × 1PT MWP × AWP × MSP × EG1] = [13] + [12] + [1X] -- [3PT AWP × AG1 or AG2/2PT AG1 OR AG2 × [1PT MSP × AG1 × MSP × EWP]] = [17] + [1Y] + [12] + [1X] [(8) Octuple outer type combination] -- [1PT AWP × 2PT AG1 or AG2 × [3PT ASP/ASP × EWP × AWP × MSP × EG1] = [13] + [12] + [1X] + [98] -- [1 PT AWP × AG1 or AG2/AG1 or AG2 × [MSP/AG1 × MWP/MSP × EWP] = [17] + [1Y] + [18] + [1X] (9) Nonuple outer type combination] -- [2PT AWP/1PT AWP × 3PT AG1 or AG2/AG1 or AG2 [MSP × 2PT MWP × MWP × MSP × EG1]] = [13] + [1Y] + [12] + [1X] -- [1PT AWP/2PT AWP × AG1 or AG2/3PT AG1 or AG2 × [MSP × 1PT MWP × MWP × MSP × EG1] = [13] + [12] + [1X] + [98] + [97] [(10) Decuple outer type combination] Currently none. [(11) Undecuple outer type combination] -- [4PT AWP/3PT AWP × 5PT AG1 or AG2 [AG1 × MSP × 4PT MSP × 3PT MSP × MWP × AWP × MSP × EG1]] = [13] + [1Y] + [12] + [1X] + [98] + [97] -- [2PT AWP/3PT AWP × AG1 or AG2/2PT AG1 or AG2 × [ASP × EG1 × MSP/AG1 × MWP/MSP × EWP]] = [17] + [1Y] + [18] + [1X] + [98] -- [2PT AWP/3PT AWP × AG1 or AG2/2PT AG1 or AG2 × [AG1 × ESP × MSP/AG1 × MWP/MSP × EWP]] = [17] + [1Y] + [18] + [1X] + [97]

He is a friend… He’s kind. He’s respectful. He is gentle. He’s soft with his words. He makes me feel safe and warm. He likes to have fun. He likes to travel. He loves his parents. He loves his family. I think he’s everything I want in someone. Minus the quiet and shy part but he’s definitely opening up in a fun and exciting way.. I met him through my sister and BIL. And we have been friends for 2 years now. They had originally wanted to introduce me to this guy but I said I wasn’t interested in getting to know anyone and from what they told me I had a hunch he would be someone who liked really pretty skinny slim petite girls. I wasn’t that. So they just introduced me to their whole friend group and we all just became friends. Our friends would casually joke about us being together when we all hung out as a group. Or if both of us were busy and couldn’t hang out with them at the same time they’d joke that we were secretly on a date etc. He never said much and just took it. I would brush it off as well not much thinking much of it since we were the only two singles ones… but There were times when I couldn’t tell if he was just being nice or if it was him showing me signs. But the more we all hung out the more I got to see what kind of person he was. I remember admitting to my BIL that I was kind of interested in getting to know him more now but I was really drunk when we had that convo and never brought it up again when I was sober cause I was embarrassed. He was supportive though and said I was a really good person and he thought we matched really well. The first time I admitted to myself that I probably really liked him, I was really hurt. i never confessed to him or anything like that but i just came to a realization… It took me so many years to finally love myself and appreciate every stage of who I am where I am and what I look like… but I realized I must have really really liked this guy cause I tried so hard to change who I was to see if he would like me or give me a sign. I tried working out to become skinny and I went out of my way to always hangout with this friend group. Our friend group was scheduled to go on a trip together. I told myself I’d see how the trip goes and really feel him out to see if he was interested… I thought I mentally prepared myself well enough but I guess I didn’t. On this trip I had mentioned a different girl friend that I wanted to meet up with with our friend group. I don’t remember how we got into this convo but I ended up showing him a picture and his face lit up. She’s a really beautiful girl who’s fit. He wanted to meet her too. So the next day my friend group met up with my other girl friend and her friend. This girl friend of mine knew about my lole for this guy so she was never interested.. I could instantly tell the shift in his body language. Keep in mind he’s a really quiet and reserved guy. But I could see the way he would watch out for her. Like her bottle fell and from across the friend group he told her she dropped her bottle. Little shifts like that in his attitude that made me realize what he was like if he was interested in someone… any way fast forward we started walking around and at one point my girl friend’s friend(who I just met that day as well) randomly asked him if he liked me. I was right in front of them. But I heard. With no hesitation in his voice he said no she’s like my sister… my heart fell to my stomach… the first time in 6+ years after my last relationship that I was allowing myself to like someone again and I got sister-zoned… if I’m being honest it really hurt my self esteem. I worked so hard to really love myself and I felt like I was a good person who was funny and kind and selfless and giving and family oriented(I’m not just trying to boost my ego lol almost all the people In my life has said these to me before) but the first person I allow myself to like in so long has no interest in me. All the little clues I got were stories I made up in my head. I prided myself on being good at reading people.. but it was really all in my head… anyway I just pretended like I didn’t hear anything and continued with where I was going. I realized then that he was just nice to me not interested in me. After that trip he started talking more to the friend group about the girls he had asked out on dates and the kind of girls he liked and how his dates went. Then I really realized I prob was just like a sister to him. And he’s was just like any other guy.. the ones who likes pretty skinny girls. He would talk to girls that weren’t the best people but they were really pretty and skinny. After that I tried to stop myself from continuing to like him so I distanced myself from the friend group. Just a little bit. But I also started a new job so that also prevented me from seeing them too often. I noticed myself think about him less and being less effected by his dating life. I felt good again. Just really focused on myself and reminded myself to stay true to who I am so I can attract my person to me. But just this past weekend… we went on a trip together again. I really thought I was good! He really has just been feeling like a friend. But this trip was only my sister and BIL and him and I. Everything seems to be going great I played wing woman for him and helped him meet girls! But I think I realize.. I really do like him. Like I like him probably a lot more than I thought. Yes I played his wing woman and I wasn’t very jealous or anything like that.. I know i was hella cute on this trip and I know I’m a good person. But the whole time I when he was talking to girls.. I didn’t wish to be them.. I just wished he’d see me. I introduced those girls to him to see if he would choose me.. even with a married girl with 3 kids who says she’s in an open relationship and who is older than him he didn’t choose me. We got into a deep conversation about his last super toxic relationship and about the kind of woman he wants. He named everything I am(traits about myself that others have said about me not just what I think about myself). I kept listening and realized the only thing that prob would make me not fit to be his ideal woman is because I’m a bigger girl. Anyway I guess moral of the story is that I just really like this guy who prob doesn’t see me anymore than a sister. And I can’t help it that I’m not the one he’s unwilling to choose. I just have to stay true to who I am. And I will naturally attract my person to me.
Also I don’t think I am delusional and obsessive. I have kept a good distance and I have never crossed any boundaries of friendship. I just had a lot of people we know question why we weren’t together and many people always said they thought we are a good match.. but I’m just not the one he is choosing to have. And maybe it’s time I accept that.
What do you guys think? Idk what kind of validation or answers I’m looking for I think I just want to share my pain and heartbreak as 28 year old who will prob stay single Forever because this one sided like was Kind of painful. lol

when i was little and still went to girlscouts i went to summer camp one year
and at the camp they had a stuffed goose statue in the cafeteria. i don't remember what they named it but they claimed the goose came alive at night and had us write letters to it. and the goose would write back to us
i know now it was just a fun game the counsellors were playing. but i was little and the fantasy was completely real to me. i believed in magic and santa and hadn't lost all my teeth yet.
i was distraught when the goose did not respond to my letter and later that day the counselors came and brought me to the goose case and showed me my "forgotten letter"
i wish it was possible to thank them for letting the kind makebelieve world persist. a nice safe world where you can write letters to a goose. crueler people would have shattered that fantasy when i was sad about my letter not being answered.
wish i could still exist in that safe world i lived in when they told me a letter had arrived for me and sat with me to watch me open it
i know now that they probably just accidentally forgot me, and wrote me a letter from the goose when they realized. its a human mistake and a human way to make up for it
but they made it special and it was still everything to me in that moment.
i wish the world was kinder to children
i wish letting a little girl believe in a letter writing goose wasnt such a high expectation to have.

TLDR: My VERY SERIOUS bf dumped me when he found out my seggsual history (even though his is worse) and now goes around town calling me a s!ut. how am i meant to feel?
I think my breakup is something that has only happened to me. If this is something you have gone through or men, if you’d do this and can offer insight PLEASE comment. looking for insight and advice on moving on.
I 20F was dating a man 20M for 7months. He dumped me in February. It was a passionate, amazing, love at first sight kind of relationship. We wrote love letters, we danced in my living room to songs we might play at our hypothetical wedding, he met my family, i met his. It was the kid of relationship that made us kiss waiting for cross walks, it made us lay in bed naked and laugh, it was beautiful. It was love. it was so much love we discussed him moving in with me when I graduated in a year. I won’t bore you with details but we were SO in love.
It was a bit of a rocky start. we were FWB and then I caught feelings. he was seeing 3 other girls (2 seggsually) at the time. During the FWB phase he said he loved me. He said he really loved me. but he refused to give up the girls he was sleeping with. My jealousy and heartbreak caused fights. eventually I left him because i couldn’t take not being fully his. especially not when i loved him too. We were broken up for a week and then he came back. roses in hand, begging me for a chance because he realize he can’t live without me. we became official, and the whirlwind romance described above began.
Throughout the relationship, our romantic and seggsual history would come up. I knew about basically everything he’d done, and i didn’t care because he was with me now. it didn’t make me feel any type of way. But as he found out more about mine he became disgusted with me. Which didn’t seem fair at all.
His seggsual history included things like, pegging, hookups, stds, public seggs, CHEATING (he cheated on an ex with 2 diff girls) and a body count of 10
Mine was a 3way, one one night stand, a few girls (i’m bisexual), i’ve kissed (short ones) a lot of ppl on dares and at parties, and my body count is 9
I’d been very open about the 3way and the girls. i don’t feel shame over those things. but the threeway drove him insane. truly i’ve never seen someone so aggressively jealous. My friends joke about the three way because all in all, it was not a good outcome for me. the guy ended up threatening to unalige himself and he was all around crazy. It was just an experiment t and while the seggs was okay the over all experience wasn’t great and i expressed no interest in doing it again.
We were both very seggsual people, were 20, in college, and have high seggs drives. During the time we were NOT official and i was hurting i went to a party and on a dare kissed 5 girls. (just kissed. short drunken kisses). Even though he was HAVING S-E-X with other women at the time he thought i had betrayed him.
To be clear i was NEVER unfaithful once i was his girlfriend. More than anything in the WORLD i wanted to be his i loved him (and still do) till the ends of the earth.
But basically, as he found out more about my seggsual history he said i disgusted him. he said it made me “unloveable” and “unworthy of marriage”. I felt like sh!t. i felt he was a hypocrite. We couldn’t stop fighting. Then he dumped me. He said I “toyed with him “ and made his life “hell with jealousy”. he said he wishes he never met me and i’m a monster for “speaking about those things with someone you love”. After 6 months of him knowing these things already he suddenly decided i was disgusting. He found all of this out around month two.
Now he goes around publicly calling me a s!ut and telling ppl im a monster. All because of my seggsual history. I never wanted to hurt him but i don’t truly understand how sharing my past did that.
He hates me now. like HATES ME HATES ME to the point of threats of v!olence against me and my family and friends. I cannot describe to you how abrasive and insane the things he says are. he treats me like some sort of convicted murd**er. He goes around town telling ppl i’m a s!ut.
What the hell happened!? Has this happened to anyone else!!? i thought it was just jealousy. Pls advise i just need to hear someone else’s thoughts.

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I’ve ordered cameras and I’m going to hide them in my house so I can see what she’s actually looking for. Basically there’s been numerous times where I’ve left something small under the door in a certain way that I’d know if someone had come in.
I’ll explain why I done this.
When I first moved in and couldn’t get to the door fast enough, I heard her getting her keys out so she could let herself in. Also when I first moved in and I had left the door unlocked she would just walk in.
I told myself ok she couldn’t be that bad, she would hardly come in when I’m not home, but yea it looks like she has been coming into the bedroom as well. I went away the other day and the same thing happened, I put the alarm on the front door so she came in through the back door.
I feel violated and tbh I feel creeped out to the point where I’m leaving stuff in front of the back door at night so that I’ll hear noise if she tries to come in.
Recently I was making bottles for my child in the kitchen and when I turned around I seen someone looking through my coal bunker, it was her. Coal bunker was empty btw.
She is so nosy. I’m not ok with her letting herself in either because I have private letters and stuff, I just feel really uncomfortable with her coming in rooting through my stuff. It’s not just once either it’s a few times if not every time I leave the house.
I am renting through hap so maybe I have no right to complain since I’m paying less for rent but this can’t be ok.
What’s the best way of handling this? I’m furious

This is my first reddit post and honestly it's a lot so please bear with me. I'm still trying to figure out how to process everything and make sense of it all. I guess we will start at the very beginning. My boyfriend,( we will call him michael) and I just passed 6 months together. Honestly, hes been great. We clicked pretty fast and have a great bond. I feel safe and comfortable around him and can communicate in a way ive never been able to before. It just kinda works. I definitely fell hard and fast for him and from what I could gather, the feeling was mutual. We had met on tinder in early October and went on our first date in November. We made it official shortly after our first date.
After we started dating, he had briefly mentioned that he had a friend who had a bit of a crush on him. I told him I didn't mind and I trusted him. As long as he kept things respectful to me, it didn't matter. He then explained that her crush was a bit obsessive and he actually wanted to push her out of his life and needed advice. Apparently, this friend, (we will call her beth) was pregnant and wanted Michael to be her baby's God Father. He said that she would follow him and got jealous when he was with other girls. I found this kind of odd but he swore they were just friends, so I told him the best way to let her down gently and let him do his thing. About two weeks later, he told me she was out of the picture. I didn't really care either way but the communication was cool.
Anyways, I pretty quickly forgot about all of that because it was irrelevant and I wanted to focus on our relationship. One night when we were hanging out, he got a snapchat notification. He turned away from me to respond to it but I didn't think much of it, just asked who that was. He said it was just a friend (we will call this one Jen) and they were catching up. I had never heard of her before but I didn't care, I just said cool and dropped it. Just like before, I quickly forgot about that conversation because again,it was irrelevant and I had better things to think about. I trusted him so why should I care who he talks to? He is his own person after all and I understand the importance of friendships.
Fast forward about another two weeks later, him and I had our first argument. I dont remember what it was about. Most likely something small and pointless because I had a stressful day at work but nothing too serious. We did not talk much that day. Later that night, I apologized and we talked it over. Everything was fine. He then told me that earlier in the day, an old friend that he had removed off social media readded him and messaged him. We will call her Molly. Apparently she had just noticed she was removed and was upset and wanted to know why. He told me that he sent her a message explaining that he didn't see her in his life long term and doesn't feel the need to keep someone around who won't be around forever so he didn't want to be friends anymore. He then removed her again. At this point I thought the way he acted was odd. I had never heard of molly before, he waited until he had already removed her before telling me about the conversation, she only came into the picture when we had our first argument and it got me thinking about the other girls who were just friends. I definitely started to over think a bit and was more than curious about who these people were and what their relationship to him was. But he swore they were all just friends. So I continued to believe him.
We went a long period of time without anything coming up so once again I forgot about it and moved on with my life. Him and I were doing great. We were young dumb and in love. I felt truly happy, something I hadn't experienced in a long time. I felt like I genuinely found someone who was right for me and I didn't need to second guess whether or not he was gonna cheat on me. He occasionally would ask to see my phone but I didn't have anything to hide so I allowed him. I had set a boundary with him that if he ever felt concerned or needed reassurance, he needed to bring it up to me first. After we talked it over then he could see my phone, but we would always go through it together. This seemed fair to me. My phone was never off limits, there just needed to be open communication. Anyways, he would always offer for me to see his phone in return but I would decline. I didn't feel the need to and I had learned from past experiences that if you go digging, you will most likely see something you can't unsee.
Then one day he needed to have his wisdom teeth removed. I dropped him off in the morning for his surgery and I was told I needed to hold on to his personal belongings and wait until the operation was over. No big deal. I know this is wrong and I shouldn't have but finally curiosity got the best of me and I looked on his phone. At first it wasn't malicious. I genuinely was just curious. But of course, I saw things I wish I could unsee. It started off on tiktok. In one of his conversations with a friend, he poured his heart out, explaining how he was still so in love with his ex and missed her like crazy. Of course it stung a little to see the things he said but I knew there was someone before me so it wasn't that surprising. That was until I saw those messages had been sent in mid October. So of course i was like huh.we started talking early October and dating early November. So clearly he wasn't over his ex when he met me. But I was willing to forgive it. It wasn't a deal breaker. But Instead of putting the phone down to protect my peace and his privacy, I kept looking. And boy did I find a lot. I found lots of old text messages from contacts that were not saved. Most of then were hard-core sexting and flirting. This dude literally acted like a dog.And yeah it was again hard to see but it was before me and he wasn't like that anymore. With me, he was gentle and respectful and never treated me like an object. Some people just go through a phase and that's okay. Again, it wasn't a deal breaker. But finally i found some very passionate, lovey, intimate messages with an unsaved contact. I was immediately drawn in by the kind words and heartwarming love messages. Whoever this was, they cared for eachother very strongly. I almost immediately felt heartbroken. Not because she was a past love interest, but because he had never spoken to me the way he spoke to her. I read all the way from the top of the conversation. Months worth of love confessions, paragraphs of strong feelings, longing to be with one another, etc. But finally halfway through in one of the paragraphs I see a name. Molly I was shattered. Molly was the girl who supposedly was removed months before him and I even met. The one that was "just a friend" who messaged him and he removed her because he didn't want to be friends anymore. Yeah clearly they were more than just friends. I was livid and felt crushed. Why did he feel the need to lie about something so unnecessary? I wouldn't have been mad if he had told the truth about who she was. But then it got me thinking. Was Beth truly just a friend? Was Jen truly just a friend? What was the actual relationship? I gathered up as much as I could but then the nurse came to the lobby to tell me he was awake and ready to go home. I kind of panicked and in my hurry, I forgot to delete the screenshots out of his phone.
We get in the car and I give him his phone, he's still pretty loopy. Obviously I had a million questions to ask him but I knew he wasn't in the right state of mind to have that conversation so I put my feelings aside and decided it could wait. Well he wanted to take pictures of his bloody swollen face and send it to his uncle. In the process, he sees the screenshots i had forgotten to delete off his phone and immediately screams what the f*** is this? I tried to talk calmly and explain that now wasn't a good time to talk about it and it could wait. He kept pressing "what the f*** did you do? Who the hell is this?" In my mind I thought "uh dude, you tell me." But didn't want to escalate it while he was drugged up. I decided the best option was to simply say that I wasn't mad , I stilled planned on taking care of him while he recovered and that we would need to have a conversation when he was in a better state of mind. He just started sobbing. Oh boy. I kind of ignored it as much as I could. I drove us to the store to get ice cream and other soft foods he could eat before taking us back to my apartment. I helped get him set up in my bedroom and he still was crying. So much so he started coughing out blood. It smelled awful and got everywhere. He was a wreck. I felt bad for everything. I felt guilty for going on his phone behind his back, for leaving the screeshots on his phone and for him crying. It took several hours but eventually I got him to calm down. I kept my word and continued to take care of him until he was recovered.
Finally when enough time had passed I decided it was time to sit down and talk about it. I explained that obviously I had found messages and i wanted an explanation. He told me molly was just a friend, and very clearly it was more than that. I also explained that I had a suspicion that he was not fully honest about his relationship with Jen and Beth either. He looked me dead in the eyes and said he had no idea what I was talking about and they were just friends. I remained calm and explained that I won't be mad at him or leave him. I told him I didn't want to fight. I just felt as though I deserved to know the truth if I was going to continue to be with him, especially since he was still in contact with Beth and Jen while we were dating. We continue to go back and forward for several hours with no progress. I decided then if he didn't feel I deserved the truth, I would find out for myself. I took the screenshots I had found and reached out to the contacts one by one.
Let's start with Beth. She was the quickest to respond. I briefly explained who I was and that I was hoping to ask some questions about my partner because I felt like i was being lied to and was hoping she could fill in some of the gaps. She texted back and simply asked "do you work at blank" I responded that yes, I did. She then asked if I lived at a specific apartment complex. I said yes and was creeped out. She knew where I worked and lived. She then asked if she could call me. I agreed. For some context, he told me that she was a friend he had met in school. He explained that she had gotten out of a rough relationship and he wanted to make sure she was okay when it happened. That's how they became close. He explained that they would hang out all the time and eventually she became obsessed with him. Well during my phone call with her, I heard a very different story. Yes, they met in school and initially started off as friends. But, slowly with time as they started to spend more and more time together, they started to catch feelings. He said I love you first. And she proved this with screenshots. She also sent me pictures of them holding hands and kissing. She explained that they never officially started dating but they definitely were more than just friends. Their relationship was much more physical and romantic than platonic. She also told me that they had hooked up about 3 times. She explained that they had eachothers location and pretty frequently they would make plans then he would last minute cancel. So she would see what he was doing and would see him at two very specific addresses. Visiting my work or my apartment. She eventually asked him where he was and he told her that I was his cousin and was trying to get out of a rough relationship so he was helping me. I felt sick. No wonder why she was "obsessed" he was borderline dating her, telling her he loved her, and then started to ditch her when he made things official with me. Then it killed me to realize that even though they never had an official title, he was dating the two of us at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I ended up apologizing to her for everything he did and told her I never would have agreed to be his if I knew he was entertaining someone else. Michael overheard this phone call between us and looked like he had seen a ghost after. All he did was started crying, said she was lying, and that she was only a friend. I asked "so....these screenshots and pictures are all made up?" No response. He knew he was busted.
I decided I needed to take some time to process that information and I didn't want to say something I would regret. I let him stay at my place because he had nowhere else to go and I went to stay with a friend. He kept calling and texting but I couldn't deal with it. I cried all night. I was a mess. I should have just accepted that I was cheated on and lied to but I couldn't leave. I needed to know the truth. So I kept reaching out. Next up was Jen. I never was able to reach her, but I found out through Michael and Beth that Jen was Beth's best friend. But even more than that, I found out the three of them had a threesome together. He had told me previously that he had never been interested in a threesome and would never want to have one. Then I found out not only did he have one and lied about it, but it was with two girls he told me were just friends.
I went back to my apartment the next day and tried to talk stuff out. He just continued to say they were just friends. I finally snapped. I screamed and cried and told him that I just wanted to know the truth. That I deserved the truth. He looked me in the eyes, pinky promised me no more lies. We talked for a while and basically he explained that he never had an official title with Beth. They were very close but he basically just used her to pass time because he had nothing better to do. He said he loved her because that's what she wanted to hear and he treated her like a partner without ever having any real feelings for her. He knew as soon as he met me that he wanted me but didn't want to hurt her so he just kind of pushed her to the side but kept her in the picture. I felt so sad for her. He used her. He led her on. He treated her like an object and then threw her to the side when he met me.I asked why he lied about having a threesome. He said he felt ashamed Apparently they started to do it and then he chickened out so he didn't really count it. That made sense to me. I was pissed that he lied but at least it made sense. Next I asked why he told me Beth and Jen were just friends instead of being honest about the relationship. He said he never had feelings for either and they never had the official title so he didn't think it was important and he did not want to scare me off. I explained to him that although I understand why he lied to me, I didn't forgive him. I warned him that I would not tolerate anymore lies and obviously for the time being I did not trust him. I told him I wouldn't break up with him but if I found out he lied again, he would lose me. I also told him I considered what he did as cheating since he was seeing us at the same time after him and I became mutually exclusive. After we concluded our conversation about Beth and Jen, I started thinking about molly and the messages I had seen. I asked him what their relationship was, he said just friends. I freaked and told him to give me his phone. I found their old messages and told him to read them. "Hey goofball, you awake? Well if you're not I have something impossible to say to you. You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. I love you lots and want you to know that no matter what happens I will always care about you. To me you are perfect. Amazing. And attractive asf. You are also very sweet and caring and adorable. Don't think about the negative things about yourself that will drag you down. You are way more than that. This is an official goodnight and I love you goofball." This is just one of the MANY messages sent back and forward. He reads the conversation and just goes oh. He then says he didn't remember any of that happening. We began to argue and the story he tried to spin was that his life must have been so traumatic that his brain literally deleted his past memories and replaced them with false memories where he didn't do these things that he is ashamed of. He got caught in lies and after so long was just like...whoa I did that? I had no idea I didn't remember. Technically I didn't lie because I told what I thought the truth was the way I remembered it. I told him I wanted to break up and he cried and begged me to forgive him and stay. I listened.i tried to move on and make things normal again but I couldn't stop thinking about all the lies and what else he might have been lying about. Then randomly one day, Molly added me back on social media. She was the last and took over 1.5 months so honestly I figured I'd never get ahold of her. I was genuinely surprised to see her show up on my friend list and reached out. Once again back story, he told me that she lived in Wisconin and they had never met. He said he was also using her for nudes and to pass time, same way he used Beth. He had told me that he removed her off social media months before him and I even met and aside from that one night she reached out, he hadn't heard from her in forever. I found out from her that she did not live in Wisconsin, she lived in the same state as us That to her, they were definitely dating and in love. I also saw a messaged saved on snapchat where he had been texting her in October (after we met) and even sent her the same pickup lines he had sent me. he had cheated with not just one, but two (at least that I know of) other girls.
At this point I had been broken so bad I didn't even feel the pain anymore. I just went numb. I had no more tears left to cry and couldn't be bothered to care anymore. I stopped eating and taking care of myself. I just went to work, came home, slept and repeated. I had watched the man that I loved and adored, one that made me feel so safe and happy turn into a monster right in front of me. He wasn't him anymore. I finally could see him for who he was. But I still didn't leave. He told me that he had only ever slept with three girls. I later found out it was actually six. He told me he had never been in love before. I later found out he tells basically every girl he's ever talked to that he loves them AND genuinely was in love with his ex before me. He told me after his ex and him broke up, he had a rebound but he only hooked up with her once before ghosting her. I found out they actually dated for several weeks, hooked up several times, and she had taken cute couple pictures with him and posted them on social media. He said that he never wanted to take those pictures, she made him put his Hands on her and pose and if he didn't cooperate, she would throw a tantrum like a child. One last thing I think that is important to mention,when we went on our first date, I told him I don't do hookups. We stayed out late and hit it off really well so I offered for him to stay the night at my place. I said I was okay with cuddling and whatever but I did not want to have sex. He seemed okay with it. I went to bed and then when I woke up, my pants were off and he was inside me. He claimed he didn't know I was asleep and thought I wanted it because apparently my butt kept rubbing against him while we were spooning.
It's been about a month since all that and I'm still just meh. I haven't exactly forgiven him but I also don't hate him. Things are normal. I act normal we still do couple things. But I can't help but wonder if he is just using me the same way he used them. I mean after all, he lives in my apartment rent free and asked me to buy him a truck for his birthday. He says I should forgive him because he genuinely doesn't remember doing these things and he didn't mean to lie to me. He said he's so ashamed of who he was but isn't like that anymore. He doesn't associate with who he was and wants to be given a chance to show that he is different. But can I ever forgive him? Should I? Where do I go from here? I feel so lost and confused. I dont think I'll ever be able to trust his word again. I dont feel secure. He broke me so bad I can't even feel anymore. Am I crazy and somehow making this a bigger deal than it is? Can I ever have the man I fell in love with back? I'm sorry if this was confusing. I'm typing this all out in one sitting. Please help me because I genuinely am so lost and I don't want to tell any friends because I don't want them to hate him.
TLDR: My boyfriend cheated on me with at least two other girls that I know of at the moment and has lied to me about too many things to count. His argument is that It doesn't actually count as cheating because he technically didn't date these people and he didn't remember doing it.

Does 5151415232013, Eaenowtm, or 5/1/5/14/15/23/20/13 mean anything? The Letters are from a YouTube Video called [T h e S o l a r S y s t e m] -An Analog Horror Short. The numbers are the Letters turned to the number of the Alphabet Order, like A=1, B=2. I can't find the right cipher, from a cipher identifier, I got a Beaufort and Octal cipher, please tell me if this is a cipher or not, I might be able to find an ARG if so. Thanks!