I’m floored. My friend’s husband got into an accident a few weeks ago. She’s a SAHM and they have two small children with special needs. Her husband is going to need around the clock care while he recovers. Her bishop told her the church would pay their bills for the next YEAR. I’m mind blown. I actually have mad respect for that bishop.

Empathy is a good skill women have tho it also makes you gullible enough by women or especially men. Look irl and on social media if there's a women venting guys will come and blame it on her. And if guy will vent men will support men and will bash women. However, I've noticed a pattern in women that being always available for men and empathising with them while men will only give sympathy to men and never to women.
Read a post about how guy distracted a girl on her exams by coming in a relationship with her then saying he loves her and he scored more than her because he said he's too busy or with friends now he broke up saying that she's a bad influence for him tho he distracted her. Men in comments were blaming on her and sympathising with guy. See the pattern here if it was men they would've bashed the women but now it's women's fault?
I've realised never except sympathy from anyone specially from male species. They're incapable of feeling for us. Never feel for them now some women will call me misandrist. Okay call me whatever you want but women must answer our enemy species by giving them taste of thier own medicine.
Never empathise with men never because if you're a woman you'll always be thier play. I'm not hating them I'm just giving them reply in thier own language. I'm not going to empathise with any men as they never did with any woman. I hate that women always loved thier sons over daughters and men always preferred sons and how women always compete with other women just for men. I hate this men's world. I hope at this point I leave this terrible planet. Also If you don't wanna do this then don't you'll not be supported anyways even by women let alone men.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Wishlist
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• 10 Second Ninja X
• 11-11 Memories Retold
• 112 Operator
• 12 is Better Than 6
• 198X
• 1993 Space Machine
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• 7 Billion Humans
• 8 DOORS
• 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
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• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
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• A Hole New World
• A JUGGLER'S TALE
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• A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
• A Robot Named Fight!
• A Tale for Anna
• A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
• Abalon (Summoners Fate)
• Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
• Adore
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• Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
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• BUILDER SIMULATOR
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• Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
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• Car Mechanic 2018
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• Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
• Complete Dread X Collection
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• Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
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• days of war definitive edition
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• Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
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• ELDEST SOULS
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• Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Empyrion - Galactic Survival
• ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
• Endless Space 2
• Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endzone - A World Apart
• Epistory - Typing Chronicles
• Escape the backrooms
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• Europa Universalis IV
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• Everdream Valley
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
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• Explosionade
• F1 2018
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• Fable Anniversary
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• Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
• FANTASY BLACKSMITH
• FARMER'S DYNASTY
• Farming Simulator 17
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• Fictorum
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• Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
• Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
• Fishing Adventure
• Flashback
• FLATLAND Vol.2
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• FLING TO THE FINISH
• Floppy Knights
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• FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
• For the King
• Forgive me Father
• Forts
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• Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
• Friends vs Friends
• Frogun
• From Space
• Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
• Frozenheim
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Funtasia
• Gamedec
• Gamedec - Definitive Edition
• Gang Beasts
• GARAGE bad trip
• Garden Story
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• Gelly Break Deluxe
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
• Gevaudan
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• Ghostrunner
• Giana Sisters 2D
• GIGA WRECKER
• Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
• Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
• Gloria Victis
• Go Home Dinosaurs
• GOAT OF DUTY
• GOD EATER 3
• Godlike Burger
• Godstrike
• Going Under
• Golf Gang
• Golf It!
• Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
• Good Knight
• Gotham Knights
• GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
• GREEDFALL
• Gremlins, inc
• grey goo
• GRID - 2019
• grid ultimate
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Gungrave G.O.R.E
• Guppy
• Guts and glory
• GYLT
• Hacknet
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hammerwatch
• Hands of Necromancy
• Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
• Headsnatchers
• Heartwood Heroes
• Heat Signature
• Helheim Hassle
• Hell Let Loose
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
• Hellbound
• Hellslave
• Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Hero of the Kingdom III
• Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
• Heroes of Hammerwatch
• Heros hour
• Hexologic
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
• Hidden Deep
• High On Life
• Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
• HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
• Hoa
• Hob
• Hollow Knight
• Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
• Home Sweet Home
• Home Sweet Home EP2
• Homestead Arcana
• Hood: Outlaws & Legends
• Hoplegs
• Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
• Hotshot Racing
• House Flipper
• How to Survive 2
• Hue
• Human: Fall Flat
• HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
• Hungry Flame
• Hyper Knights
• I am Bread
• I Am Fish
• I am not a Monster: First Contact
• I Hate Running Backwards
• ibb & obb Double Pack
• ICBM
• Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ice Lakes
• Impostor Factory
• IN SOUND MIND
• Indivisible
• INDUSTRIA
• Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
• Infinite Beyond The Mind
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insane 2
• INSOMNIA: The Ark
• Internet Cafe Simulator
• Internet Cafe Simulator 2
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Iron Fisticle
• Iron Harvest
• Ittle Dew
• Ittle Dew 2+
• Jack Move
• Jackbox party pack 2
• Jackbox party pack 5
• JANITOR BLEEDS
• Joint Task Force
• Jotun: Valhalla Edition
• Journey For Elysium
• Journey to the Savage Planet
• JUMANJI: The Video Game
• JumpJet Rex
• Jupiter Hell
• Jurassic Park: The Game
• Jurassic World Evolution
• Jurassic World Evolution 2
• JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
• Just Die Already
• Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
• Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
• Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
• Kerbal Space Program
• Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
• Killing Room
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Kingdom: New Lands
• King's Bounty: Crossworlds
• Knights of Pen & Paper 2
• Knock-knock
• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
• Konung 2
• KungFu Kickball
• Labyrinthine
• Lair of the Clockwork God
• Laserlife
• LAST OASIS
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
• Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
• Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
• Learn Japanese to Survive! Trilogy
• Legend of Keepers
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
• Lemnis Gate
• Lemon Cake
• lethal league blaze
• Let's School
• Levelhead
• Liberated (GOG)
• Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
• Light Fairytale Episode 1
• Light Fairytale Episode 2
• LIGHTMATTER
• Little dragons cafe
• Little Hope
• Little Inner Monsters - Card Game
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares Complete Edition
• Livelock
• Loop Hero
• Loot River
• Looterkings
• Lornsword Winter Chronicle
• Lost Castle
• Love Letter
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories
• Lovely planet arcade
• Lucius2
• Lucius3
• Ludus
• Lumberhill
• Lunacid
• LunarLux
• Lust for Darkness
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Mad Experiments: Escape Room
• Mad Max
• Mafia Definitive Edition
• Mafia: Definitive Edition
• Magenta Horizon
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Mail Time
• Maize
• Maneater
• Marooners
• MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition
• Mato Anomalies
• Max Payne 3
• Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
• Medieval II: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Medieval: Total War Collection
• MEEPLE STATION
• Men of War
• MERCHANT OF THE SKIES
• METAL HELLSINGER
• Metal Hellsinger
• Metro Exodus
• Metro last light
• Metro: Last Light Redux
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
• Mighty Switch Force! Collection
• MIND SCANNERS
• Ministry of Broadcast
• Minute of Islands
• Miscreated
• Mists of Noyah
• MKXL
• Mob Factory
• Mob Rule Classic
• Monaco
• Monster Hunter: Rise
• Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
• Monstrum
• Monstrum 2
• Moon Hunters
• Moons of Madness
• MORDHAU
• Mordheim: City of the Damned
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
• MORTAL KOMBAT XL
• Mortal Shell
• Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
• Mr. Run and Jump
• MudRunner
• Murder Mystery Machine
• My Big Sister
• My Friend Peppa Pig
• My Lovely Wife
• My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
• My Time At Portia
• Mythforce
• N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
• Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
• NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
• NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
• Necronator: Dead Wrong
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm
• Neighbours back From Hell
• Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
• Neon Space
• Neon Space 2
• Neon Sundown
• Nephise: Ascension
• Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
• Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
• Neverinth
• Neverout
• Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
• Newt One
• Nexomon: Extinction
• Nigate Tale
• Nine Parchments
• Nine Witches: Family Disruption
• Nioh 2: The Complete Collection
• No Straight Roads: Encore Edition
• No Time to Relax
• Nomad Survival
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• Noosphere
• Northgard
• Northmark: Hour of the Wolf
• Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
• not the robots
• Nurse Love Addiction
• Nurse Love Syndrome
• Nusakana
• Obduction
• Obey Me
• Observer: System Redux
• Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
• Odallus: The Dark Call
• Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• One Hand Clapping
• One More Island
• One Step From Eden
• One Step From Eden (Region locked)
• Orbital Racer
• Organs Please
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Out of Space
• Overclocked: A History of Violence
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Overpass
• Overruled
• OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
• Pac-Man Museum +
• Pan'Orama
• Panty Party
• Panzer Corps 2
• Papo & Yo
• PARADISE LOST
• Parkan 2
• PARTISANS 1941
• Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous
• Patron
• Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
• Paws of Coal
• Payday 2
• PAYDAY 2
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
• PER ASPERA
• Perfect
• PGA 2K21
• PGA Tour 2K21
• Pharaonic
• Pixplode
• Pizza Connection 3
• Plague tale
• Planescape: Torment Enhanced Edition
• Planet Alcatraz
• PLANET ZOO
• PlateUp!
• Pogostuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Police Stories
• Poly Island
• Post Void
• Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
• Prank Call
• Prehistoric Kingdom
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Pretty Girls Panic!
• Prey
• Primal Carnage: Extinction
• Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
• Pro Cycling Manager 2020
• Prodeus
• Project CARS - GOTY Edition
• Project Warlock
• Project Wingman (EU)
• PROJECT WINTER
• Propnight
• PULSAR: The Lost Colony
• qomp
• Quadrilateral Cowboy
• Quake II
• Quantum Break
• Quern - Undying Thoughts
• Radio Commander
• RAGE
• RAILROAD CORPORATION
• Railroad Tycoon 3
• Railroad Tycoon II Platinum
• Railway Empire
• Rain World
• Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
• Re: Legend
• REBEL COPS
• Rebel Galaxy
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Recipe For Disaster
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
• Red Faction: Armageddon
• Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
• Red Ronin
• RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS
• Redout Complete Bundle
• Redout: Enhanced Edition
• Redout: Enhanced Edition + DLC pack
• Regular Human Basketball
• REKT! High Octane Stunts
• Relicta
• REMNANT: FROM THE ASHES - COMPLETE EDITION
• Republique
• Rescue Party: Live!
• Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
• Resident Evil 7 Biohazard
• Resident Evil Revelations
• Resort Boss: Golf
• RETROWAVE
• rFactor 2
• RiME
• Ring of Pain
• Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
• Rise of the Slime
• Rising Storm 2: Vietnam + 2 DLCs
• Riven: The Sequel to MYST
• River City Girls
• River City Ransom: Underground
• Roarr! Jurassic Edition
• Roboquest
• Robot Squad Simulator 2017
• Rogue : Genesia
• ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS
• ROGUE LORDS
• Rogue Stormers
• rollercoaster tycoon 2
• ROTASTIC
• Roundguard
• ROUNDS
• RUNNING WITH RIFLES
• Rustler
• Ryse: Son of Rome
• S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
• Sailing Era
• Saint Row
• Saints Row 2
• Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell
• Sam and Max Devil's Playhouse
• SAMUDRA
• Sands of Aura
• Sands of Salzaar
• Saturday Morning RPG
• Save Room - Organization Puzzle
• Scarlet Tower
• Scorn
• SCP: 5K
• SCUM
• SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
• Second Extinction
• Secret Government
• Serious Sam 3 Bonus Content DLC, Serious Sam 3: Jewel of the Nile, and Serious Sam 3: BFE
• SEUM speedrunners from hell
• SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
• Severed Steel
• Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
• Shadowgate
• SHADOWS: AWAKENING
• Shape of the World
• She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
• Shenmue I & II
• SHENZHEN I/O
• Shift Happens
• Shing!
• Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
• Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
• Sid Meier's Civilization VI
• Sid Meier's Railroads!
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
• Silver Chains
• SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sinking Island
• SINNER: Sacrifice for Redemption
• Siralim Ultimate
• Skautfold Chapters 1-4
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Slain: Back from Hell
• Slap City
• Slash It
• Slash It 2
• Slash It Ultimate
• Slay the Spire
• Small World
• Smart Factory Tycoon
• Smile For Me
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smoke and Sacrifice
• Smushi Come Home
• Snail bob 2 tiny troubles
• Sniper Elite 3
• Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
• Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
• Snooker 19
• SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
• Songs of Conquest
• Sonic Adventure 2
• Sonic Adventure DX
• Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
• Sonic Generations Collection
• Soulblight
• Souldiers
• SOULSTICE
• Soundfall
• Source of Madness
• Spartan Fist
• Spec Ops
• Speed Limit
• Spelunx and the Caves of Mr. Seudo
• Spidersaurs
• Spin Rush
• Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
• Spirit of the Island
• Spirit of the North
• Spring Bonus
• Stairs
• STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS - The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
• Star Wolves
• Starsand
• STASIS: Bone Totem
• State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition
• Steel Rats™
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Still Life
• Still Life 2
• Stirring Abyss
• STONE
• Strange Brigade
• Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
• STRANGER
• Strategic Command: World War I
• Strategic Mind: Blitzkrieg
• Strategic Mind: Fight for Freedom
• Strategic Mind: Spectre of Communism
• Strategic Mind: Spirit of Liberty
• Strategy & Tactics: Wargame Collection
• Streamer Life Simulator
• Street Fighter V
• Strider
• Strikey Sisters
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Styx: Master of Shadows
• Styx: Shards of Darkness
• SuchArt
• Sudden Strike Gold
• Suite 776
• Sumoman
• Sunblaze
• SUNLESS BUNDLE
• Sunset Overdrive
• Super Buff HD
• Super Mag Bot
• Superbugs: Awaken
• Superhot
• Surgeon Simulator 2
• Survive the Nights
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving Mars
• Surviving The Aftermath
• Swag and Sorcery
• Sword Legacy Omen
• Sword of the Necromancer
• Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
• Syberia 3
• Symphonic Rain
• Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
• Synthwave Dream '85
• Tacoma
• Take Off - The Flight Simulator
• Tales
• Tales from the Borderlands
• Tales of Vesperia™: Definitive Edition
• Talk to Strangers
• Tallowmere
• Tangledeep
• Tank Mechanic Simulator
• Tannenberg
• Team Sonic Racing
• TEKKEN 7
• TEMTEM
• Terminus: Zombie Survivors
• Terror of Hemasaurus
• Textorcist
• Tharsis
• The Adventure Pals
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Anacrusis
• The Ascent
• The Battle of Polytopia
• The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
• The Blackout Club
• The Callisto Protocol™
• The Chess Variants Club
• The Citadel
• The Colonists
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
• THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: LITTLE HOPE
• The Darkest Tales
• The Dungeon Beneath
• The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
• The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion® Game of the Year Edition
• The Elder Scrolls Online
• The Escapists 2
• THE GAME OF LIFE 2
• The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
• The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
• The Hong Kong Massacre
• The Horror Of Salazar House
• The Innsmouth Case
• The Invisible Hours
• The Jackbox Party Pack 9
• The Knight Witch
• The Last Campfire
• The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame
• The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
• The Long Dark
• The Manhole: Masterpiece Edition
• The Mortuary Assistant
• The Mummy Demastered
• The Outer Worlds
• THE OUTER WORLDS: SPACER'S CHOICE EDITION
• THE PALE BEYOND
• The Quarry
• The Quarry deluxe
• The Ramp
• The Red Lantern
• The Rewinder
• The Sacred Tears TRUE
• The Sexy Brutale
• The Tarnishing of Juxtia
• The Tenants
• The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
• THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY
• The Uncertain: Light At The End
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead - 400 Days
• The Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
• The Walking Dead: Final Season
• The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
• The Walking Dead: Season 1
• The Walking Dead: Season Two
• The Way
• The Wild At Heart
• The Wild Eight
• The Witness
• Them and Us
• They Bleed Pixels
• Thief of Thieves
• This War of Mine
• This Way Madness Lies
• Three Kingdom: The Journey
• Time on Frog Island
• Tinkertown
• Tiny Tina’s Wonderland(EU)
• TINY TINA'S WONDERLANDS CHAOTIC GREAT EDITION
• Tiny Troopers
• Tinykin
• Tinytopia
• TIS-100
• Titan Quest
• Tokyo Xanadu eX+
• Tools up
• Tooth and Tail
• Torchlight
• Total Tank Simulator
• Tour de France 2020
• Tower Unite
• Trail Out
• Trailblazers
• Trailmakers
• Train Sim World 3: Standard Edition
• Train Simulator Classic
• Train Valley 1
• Transport INC
• Treasure Hunter Simulator
• TRIBES OF MIDGARD
• Trine 4
• Trinity Fusion
• Trombone Champ
• Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
• Trover Saves the Universe
• Tunche
• Turmoil
• Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
• Twin Mirror
• Two Point Campus
• Two Point Hospital
• TYPECAST
• Tyrant's Blessing
• Ultimate Chicken Horse
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Ultra Space Battle Brawl
• Unavowed
• Undead Horde
• Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
• Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
• Universim
• UNLOVED
• Unpacking
• Until I have you
• Unto The End
• Upside Down
• URU: Complete Chronicles
• Vagante
• Valfaris
• Valfaris: Mecha Therion
• Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
• Valkyria Chronicles 4: Complete Edition
• Vambrace: Cold Soul
• Vampire Survivors
• Vectronom
• Velocity Noodle
• Venba
• Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
• Victoria 3
• Victoria II
• Viking: Battle For Asgard
• Virgo Versus The Zodiac
• VirtuaVerse
• Visage
• Viscerafest
• Void Bastards
• VOIDIGO
• Volcanoids
• Voltage High Society
• V-Rally 4
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG)
• Wargroove
• Warhammer 40,000 Sanctus Reach - Complete Edition
• Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Imperium Complete
• Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
• WARHAMMER AGE OF SIGMAR: REALMS OF RUIN – ULTIMATE EDITION
• Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• Warman
• Wasteland 3
• Wayward
• WE NEED TO GO DEEPER
• We should talk.
• We Were Here Together
• We Were Here Too
• Webbed
• What Lies in the Multiverse
• When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
• while True: learn()
• Whos Your daddy
• Wick
• Windward
• Witch It
• Witchy Life Story
• wizard of legends
• Wolfenstein 3D
• Worms Rumble
• WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
• WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds
• WWE 2K23
• WWZ Aftermath
• Wytchwood
• X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
• XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
• XIII - Classic
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
• Yakuza Kiwami
• Yakuza: Like A Dragon
• Yumeutsutsu Re:After
• Yumeutsutsu Re:Master
• Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
• Ziggurat
• Zombie Army 4
• Zombie Army Trilogy
• Zool Redimensioned

DLCs and Softwares:

• For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
• Train Simulator: Isle of Wight Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Woodhead Electric Railway in Blue Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: North Somerset Railway Route Add-On
• Train Simulator: Union Pacific Heritage SD70ACes Loco Add-On
• Train Simulator: London to Brighton Route Add-On
• BR Class 170 'Turbostar' DMU Add-On
• DB BR 648 Loco Add-On
• Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
• Expansion - Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
• Grand Central Class 180 'Adelante' DMU Add-On
• Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - Gilroy Route Add-On
• SONIC ADVENTURE 2: BATTLE
• Small World - A Spider's Web
• Small World - Cursed
• Small World - Royal Bonus
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - Goodies Pack
• The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos - OST
• Thompson Class B1 Loco Add-On
• Total War: Shogun 2 - Rise of the Samurai
• Train Sim World® 3: Birmingham Cross-city line
• Train Sim World®: BR Class 20 'Chopper' Loco
• Train Sim World®: Brighton Main Line: London Victoria - Brighton
• Train Sim World®: Caltrain MP36PH-3C 'Baby Bullet'
• Train Sim World®: Cathcart Circle Line: Glasgow - Newton & Neilston
• Train Sim World®: Clinchfield Railroad: Elkhorn - Dante
• Train Sim World®: Great Western Express
• Train Sim World®: Hauptstrecke Hamburg - Lubeck
• Train Sim World®: LIRR M3 EMU
• Train Sim World®: Long Island Rail Road: New York - Hicksville
• Train Sim World®: Nahverkehr Dresden - Riesa
• Train Sim World®: Northern Trans-Pennine: Manchester - Leeds
• Train Sim World®: Peninsula Corridor: San Francisco - San Jose
• Train Sim World®: Rhein-Ruhr Osten: Wuppertal - Hagen
• Train Sim World®: Tees Valley Line: Darlington - Saltburn-by-the-sea
• Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack
• Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
• Worms Rumble - Legends Pack
• Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack
• Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
• Duke Nukem Forever Hail to the Icons
• Duke Nukem Forever The Doctor Who Cloned Me
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
• GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
• GameGuru
• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
• Intro to Game Development with Unity
• Music Maker EDM Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Dark Dreams of Furiae
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Tyrants of the Moonsea
• Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition
• Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons
• Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast
• Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr
• PDF-Suite 1 Year License
• Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
• RPG Maker VX
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
• We Are Alright
• The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass
• A Hat in Time - Seal the Deal DLC
• City Skylines:mass transit
• A Game Of Thrones - A Dance With Dragons
• A Game Of Thrones - A Feast For Crows
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Gods of Asgard
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mythical Monsters
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition - Mystics of Midgard
• Carcassonne - The Princess and The Dragon DLC
• Carcassonne - Traders & Builders DLC
• Carcassonne - Winter & Gingerbread Man DLC
• Carcassonne - Inns & Cathedrals
• Carcassonne - The River
• Splendor: The Trading Posts DLC
• Splendor: The Strongholds DLC
• Splendor: The Cities DLC
• Small World - Be Not Afraid... DLC
• Small World - Grand Dames DLC
• Small World - Cursed!
• Sands of Salzaar - The Ember Saga
• Sands of Salzaar - The Tournament
• Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
• WARSAW

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Wishlist
Region: NA (Canada)
Fees on buyer if any, currency is USD unless specified
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name

• 10 Second Ninja X
• 11-11 Memories Retold
• 112 Operator
• 12 is Better Than 6
• 198X
• 1993 Space Machine
• 60 Parsecs
• 7 Billion Humans
• 8 DOORS
• 8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator
• A Game of Thrones: The Board Game
• A Hat in Time
• A Hole New World
• A JUGGLER'S TALE
• A Long Way Down
• A PLAGUE TALE: INNOCENCE
• A Robot Named Fight!
• A Tale for Anna
• A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
• Abalon (Summoners Fate)
• Ace Combat Assault Horizon Enhanced Edition
• Adore
• Aeterna Noctis
• AETHERIS
• Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
• AIdol
• Airborne Kingdom
• Alba: A Wildlife Adventure
• Alder's Blood: Definitive Edition
• Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo
• Alien Breed Trilogy
• Aliens vs. Predator™ Collection
• All-Star Fruit Racing
• Almost There: The Platformer
• American Fugitive
• American Truck Simulator
• Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
• AMID EVIL
• Amnesia rebirth
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Anomalous
• Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
• Antigraviator
• Anuchard
• APICO
• APICO
• Aragami
• Aragami 2
• Arboria
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
• Arcade Spirits
• Arkham Horror: Mother's Embrace
• Armada 2526 Gold Edition
• Army Men RTS
• army of ruin
• Arto
• Ary and the Secret of Seasons
• As Far as the Eye
• Ascension to the Throne
• Assemble With Care
• Assetto Corsa Competizione
• Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition
• Astebreed Definitive Edition
• Astro Colony
• Astronarch
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef
• Automobilista
• Automobilista 2
• AUTONAUTS
• AUTONAUTS VS PIRATEBOTS
• Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora™ - Ubisoft Connect
• AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
• Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2
• Baba is you
• Back 4 Blood
• Back 4 blood (EU)
• Backbone
• Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
• Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
• Banners of Ruin
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• BASEMENT
• Batbarian: Testament of the Primordials
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battle Royale Tycoon
• Battlecruisers
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock: Complete
• BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
• BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
• BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
• BEFORE WE LEAVE
• Beholder 2
• Ben 10
• Ben 10: Power Trip
• Bendy and the Ink Machine™
• Between the Stars
• Beyond a Steel Sky
• Beyond The Edge Of Owlsgard
• BEYOND THE WIRE
• Beyond: Two Souls
• BIOMUTANT
• Bionic Commando
• Bionic Commando Rearmed
• BioShock: The Collection
• BLACK BOOK
• Black Moon Chronicles
• Black Paradox
• BLACK SKYLANDS
• BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
• Blacksad: Under the Skin
• Blade of Darkness
• Blasphemous
• Blazing Chrome
• Blightbound
• Blood And Zombies
• Blood Rage: Digital Edition
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
• Bomber Crew
• Boneless Zombie
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 3
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe
• Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition
• Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
• Bot Vice
• Bounty of One
• Brawlout
• Breakout: Recharged
• Breathedge
• bridge constructor
• Bridge constructor medieval
• bridge constructor stunts
• Broken Lines
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Brutal Legend
• Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling
• Buggos
• BUILDER SIMULATOR
• calico
• Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™ (2011)
• Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
• Car Mechanic 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Cardboard Town
• Castle Morihisa
• Castle on the Coast
• castle storm
• CastleStorm
• Cat Cafe Manager
• Caveblazers
• Celeste
• Centipede: Recharged
• CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
• Charlie's Adventure
• Chenso Club
• Chernobylite: Enhanced Edition
• Chess Ultra
• Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
• Chivalry 2
• Chop Goblins
• Chorus
• Circuit Superstars
• Cities Skylines + After Dark
• Cities: Skylines
• City of Beats
• CivCity: Rome
• Click and Slay
• Cloud Gardens
• Cloudpunk
• Code Vein
• Coffee Talk
• Comedy Night
• Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
• Complete Dread X Collection
• Conarium
• Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
• Constructor Plus
• Control
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cookie Cutter
• cornucopia
• Corridor Z
• Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel
• Cosmonautica
• Crash Drive 2
• Crash Drive 3
• Creaks
• Creepy Tale
• Crookz the big heist
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
• Crush Your Enemies
• Cube Runner
• Cultist Simulator: Anthology Edition
• Curse: The Eye of Isis
• Cyber Ops
• Cybercube
• Danger Scavenger
• Dark Deity
• DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: HOUSE OF ASHES
• Darkwood
• DARQ: Complete Edition
• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• days of war definitive edition
• Dead by Daylight
• Dead Estate
• Dead Rising 2
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Death Stranding Directors Cut
• DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT
• Death's Gambit
• Deceased
• DECEIVE INC.
• Degrees of Separation
• Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
• Depraved
• DESCENDERS
• DESOLATE
• Destiny 2: Beyond Light
• DESTROYER: THE U-BOAT HUNTER
• Detention
• Devil May Cry HD Collection
• Devilated
• Dicey Dungeons
• Dirt 5
• dirt rally
• Dirt Rally 2.0
• Disaster Band
• Disciples III: Reincarnation
• Discolored
• DISTRAINT 2
• Distrust
• DmC: Devil May Cry
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Don't Be Afraid
• Doomed Lands
• Door Kickers: Action Squad
• Doorways: Prelude
• Downfall
• Dragons Dogma Dark Arisen
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Draugen
• Draw Slasher
• Drawful 2
• Dreams in the Witch House
• Dreamscaper
• DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
• DRIFT21
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• drive!drive!drive!
• Drone Swarm
• Due Process
• Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
• Duke of Alpha Centauri
• Dungeon Rushers
• Dungeons 2
• Dungeons 3
• DUSK
• Dusk Diver
• Dust to the End
• Dynopunk
• Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair
• Eastern Exorcist
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
• El Matador
• Elderand
• ELDEST SOULS
• Electrician Simulator
• Elemental Survivors
• Elex
• Elex II
• Elite Dangerous
• Embr
• Empire: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Empyrion - Galactic Survival
• ENCASED: A SCI-FI POST-APOCALYPTIC RPG
• Endless Space 2
• Endless Space 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
• Endzone - A World Apart
• Epistory - Typing Chronicles
• Escape the backrooms
• Eternal Threads
• Europa Universalis IV
• European Ship Simulator
• Everdream Valley
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
• Exorder
• EXPEDITIONS: ROME
• Explosionade
• F1 2018
• F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
• F1 2020
• F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
• Fable Anniversary
• Factory Town
• Fallback uprising
• FALLOUT 1
• Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
• FANTASY BLACKSMITH
• FARMER'S DYNASTY
• Farming Simulator 17
• Farming Simulator 19
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II
• Fights in Tight Spaces
• Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
• Firefighting Simulator - The Squad
• Fishing Adventure
• Flashback
• FLATLAND Vol.2
• FlatOut
• FLING TO THE FINISH
• Floppy Knights
• Fluffy Horde
• FOBIA - ST. DINFNA HOTEL
• For the King
• Forgive me Father
• Forts
• Fred3ric
• Fresh Start Cleaning Simulator
• Friends vs Friends
• Frogun
• From Space
• Frostpunk: Game of the Year Edition
• Frozenheim
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Funtasia
• Gamedec
• Gamedec - Definitive Edition
• Gang Beasts
• GARAGE bad trip
• Garden Story
• Garfield Kart
• GAS STATION SIMULATOR
• Gelly Break Deluxe
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
• Gevaudan
• Ghost Song
• Ghostrunner
• Giana Sisters 2D
• GIGA WRECKER
• Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
• Glitch Busters: Stuck On You
• Gloria Victis
• Go Home Dinosaurs
• GOAT OF DUTY
• GOD EATER 3
• Godlike Burger
• Godstrike
• Going Under
• Golf Gang
• Golf It!
• Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
• Good Knight
• Gotham Knights
• GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR
• GREEDFALL
• Gremlins, inc
• grey goo
• GRID - 2019
• grid ultimate
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Gungrave G.O.R.E
• Guppy
• Guts and glory
• GYLT
• Hacknet
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hammerwatch
• Hands of Necromancy
• Havsala: Into the Soul Palace
• Headsnatchers
• Heartwood Heroes
• Heat Signature
• Helheim Hassle
• Hell Let Loose
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
• Hellbound
• Hellslave
• Hellstuck: Rage With Your Friends
• Hero of the Kingdom III
• Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
• Heroes of Hammerwatch
• Heros hour
• Hexologic
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
• Hidden Deep
• High On Life
• Hitman (2016) Game of the Year Edition
• HITMAN 2 - Gold Edition
• Hoa
• Hob
• Hollow Knight
• Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
• Home Sweet Home
• Home Sweet Home EP2
• Homestead Arcana
• Hood: Outlaws & Legends
• Hoplegs
• Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED ™
• Hotshot Racing
• House Flipper
• How to Survive 2
• Hue
• Human: Fall Flat
• HUMANKIND DEFINITIVE EDITION
• Hungry Flame
• Hyper Knights
• I am Bread
• I Am Fish
• I am not a Monster: First Contact
• I Hate Running Backwards
• ibb & obb Double Pack
• ICBM
• Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ice Lakes
• Impostor Factory
• IN SOUND MIND
• Indivisible
• INDUSTRIA
• Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
• Infinite Beyond The Mind
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insane 2
• INSOMNIA: The Ark
• Internet Cafe Simulator
• Internet Cafe Simulator 2
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Iron Fisticle
• Iron Harvest
• Ittle Dew
• Ittle Dew 2+
• Jack Move
• Jackbox party pack 2
• Jackbox party pack 5
• JANITOR BLEEDS
• Joint Task Force
• Jotun: Valhalla Edition
• Journey For Elysium
• Journey to the Savage Planet
• JUMANJI: The Video Game
• JumpJet Rex
• Jupiter Hell
• Jurassic Park: The Game
• Jurassic World Evolution
• Jurassic World Evolution 2
• JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
• Just Die Already
• Kardboard Kings: Card Shop Simulator
• Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
• Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
• Kerbal Space Program
• Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
• Killing Room
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Kingdom: New Lands
• King's Bounty: Crossworlds
• Knights of Pen & Paper 2
• Knock-knock
• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
• Konung 2
• KungFu Kickball
• Labyrinthine
• Lair of the Clockwork God
• Laserlife
• LAST OASIS
• Lawn Mowing Simulator
• Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
• Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
• Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
• Learn Japanese to Survive! Trilogy
• Legend of Keepers
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE
• LEGION TD 2 - MULTIPLAYER TOWER DEFENSE.
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
• Lemnis Gate
• Lemon Cake
• lethal league blaze
• Let's School
• Levelhead
• Liberated (GOG)
• Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5)
• Light Fairytale Episode 1
• Light Fairytale Episode 2
• LIGHTMATTER
• Little dragons cafe
• Little Hope
• Little Inner Monsters - Card Game
• Little Nightmares
• Little Nightmares Complete Edition
• Livelock
• Loop Hero
• Loot River
• Looterkings
• Lornsword Winter Chronicle
• Lost Castle
• Love Letter
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories
• Lovely planet arcade
• Lucius2
• Lucius3
• Ludus
• Lumberhill
• Lunacid
• LunarLux
• Lust for Darkness
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Mad Experiments: Escape Room
• Mad Max
• Mafia Definitive Edition
• Mafia: Definitive Edition
• Magenta Horizon
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Mail Time
• Maize
• Maneater
• Marooners
• MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
• Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition
• Mato Anomalies
• Max Payne 3
• Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
• Medieval II: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Medieval: Total War Collection
• MEEPLE STATION
• Men of War
• MERCHANT OF THE SKIES
• METAL HELLSINGER
• Metal Hellsinger
• Metro Exodus
• Metro last light
• Metro: Last Light Redux
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
• Mighty Switch Force! Collection
• MIND SCANNERS
• Ministry of Broadcast
• Minute of Islands
• Miscreated
• Mists of Noyah
• MKXL
• Mob Factory
• Mob Rule Classic
• Monaco
• Monster Hunter: Rise
• Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
• Monstrum
• Monstrum 2
• Moon Hunters
• Moons of Madness
• MORDHAU
• Mordheim: City of the Damned
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition
• MORTAL KOMBAT XL
• Mortal Shell
• Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
• Mr. Run and Jump
• MudRunner
• Murder Mystery Machine
• My Big Sister
• My Friend Peppa Pig
• My Lovely Wife
• My Summer Adventure: Memories of Another Life
• My Time At Portia
• Mythforce
• N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
• Napoleon: Total War - Definitive Edition
• Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
• NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
• NECROMUNDA: HIRED GUN
• Necronator: Dead Wrong
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm
• Neighbours back From Hell
• Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
• Neon Space
• Neon Space 2
• Neon Sundown
• Nephise: Ascension
• Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
• Never Alone Arctic Collection (w/ Foxtales DLC and FREE Soundtrack)
• Neverinth
• Neverout
• Neverwinter Nights: Complete Adventures
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Dear Postman/woman/other
I have a small letter gift for a friend I wish to post. I am travelling to this particular artists town later, and wondered if it is a small but cute extra detail to have it franked by the nearest sorting plant. But I also don't want to bring it with me for it WILL likely get crumpled as is my crazy life and small travel luggage.
Thank you
Posties.

When I got off my train Saturday 1:30pm at Halfweg-Zwannenburg, someone handed me a flyer informing that the train station would be closed at 10 pm due to capacity issue expected by the municipality. I immediately started to mentally prepare myself for the possible scenario of having to walk to the next station due to insufficient shuttle bus capacity by the festival. And I was proven completely wrong.
From entering the festival site, to buying tokens, getting drinks, all the way till leaving at night with shuttle bus, I was not even once in a queue for longer than 5 minutes. The organization and service was immaculate, truly a zero hassle festival experience, which before this day I never thought would've been possible.
And all the staff that I had interacted with, was friendly and patient. There were also abundant benches, seats and hammocks for people to chill and rest. In terms of service and facilities, it was flawless.
As for the stages, Area 24 was just an existence of pure perfection. The 360-degree setting of the stage centered in a little basin surrounded by the little hills, casted an almost mystic and holy atmosphere to this shrine of techno. And it just only got even better after dark, with the smoke and lighting, I was completely lost in the wonderland.
I was only at Area 97, the main stage for the ROD X Stranger set, for which I paid a small price of having to endure the closing of Marlon Hoffstadt where the crowd bursted into singing. Well, it's still Awakening so I shouldn't complain. I felt the main stage was adequately huge to contain the crowd, but not oversized to the point of losing its focus. One thing I was a bit bothered was it seemed that Stranger fucked up a few times and in the end ROD had to take over half-track to save it. But I was peaking on my acid so I might just be wrong about it.
Area 22 with Francesco del Garda was a gift that could've only been dreamed of. The weather, the groove, I just melted with joy under the sun. Area 07 was a bit too hard for me, didn't stay long, and never really went for 14. But in general I was just busy hopping from one spot to another, relentlessly absorbing the great energy everywhere.
Polar Inertia (this is not really a review, but more of a trip recap)
And of course the 1-hour Polar Inertia, how do I put it, had to be the most unforgettable set (or trip) I ever had in a live event. The stage lighting changed from red themed (Julie) to blue themed, which perfectly matched the style of Polar Inertia. The light blue light cascading from behind the DJs, combined with the overall ambience lighting, instantly teleported me to a gigantic aquarium under the ocean. The ever accelerating pulsing bass in their opening sequence felt like an unknown, unstable source of energy deep beneath the seabed that was about to erupt at any moment. I could feel the ground was shattering, and I was no longer dancing on the surface of a planet, but drifting in a dimension that was never known to us.
There was an overwhelming dissonance dissipating from their music, that deconstructed the vacuum of safety I thought I had me in protection. The music attacked from an astronomically grand scale, as if everything I ever learned just collapsed within moments, and I was thrown into a space that had to be recreated, reimagined and reconstructed. At the same time, amidst the total apocalyptic disintegration of the world in my mind, infinite matters and materials were injected through a perpetual flow of musical elements. It was like an entropic fountain of theories and theorems, a bombardment of formations and formulae, an overgrowth of hypotheses and equations, and I, was to make sense and make use of them all, to create a new order, a new world.
And that was the moment I had come up with an answer to a question I had been pondering for so long:
"As someone who had been exclusively listening to classical music for 20+ years and always sneered at almost all other genres, how was I able to fall in love with techno, which seems to be the absolute nemesis of classical music?"
It is because, to phrase it in a plain way, classical music enables listeners to relive experiences composers convey in their music. It is relatable, it arouses empathy and sympathy. For example, one could feel Beethoven's struggle against destiny, Chopin's patriotism, Schumann's depression and so on, just by listening to their music which brings the listeners to the composers' worlds and lives as if they are living through it. On the contrary, techno just puts the listeners to a completely foreign, or even alien dimension, confronted with unknown information, stranded in a terra incognita, and force them to use their own imagination to make sense of what is happening. It was really a moment of epiphany that almost made me crying.
I left Area 01 in total awe and complete surrender to the masterclass of Polar Inertia, what a journey! Even with just this one hour, my experience of Awakening Upclose would have been 10 out of 10. Let alone all the magical happened within the two days.
Thank you, Awakenings Upclose. You were the best.

I'm struggling in my marriage lately and could use some advice.
Quick summary: My wife and I are in our late 30s and have been together for nearly 20 years since we were 18. We have two wonderful children (a baby and a preschooler). We've been best friends, overall have had a happy, loving, mostly drama free life together. Our biggest issue over the years has been that I'm high libido, my wife has low libido, and I've often felt my wife can be a bit self absorbed and not really put in much effort to meet me in the middle when it comes to our love languages, putting in effort for each other, etc. I've always felt like the partner who cared more about quality time and emotional intimacy as well.
In the past year or so, we had the most drama we've ever had in 20 years when my wife admitted to me that she had always been lying to me about our first months dating - she had always said she was never with anyone else since our first date (our relationship anniversary we had always celebrated as a sweet holiday) and she actually was secretly still going to see her high school ex boyfriend during that time (who had cheated on her) and apparently had sex with him just once during that time. She also admitted that she had cheated on me (just kissing) with another person during that time. She only admitted this to me because I had suspected her of lying and did something wrong myself by reading parts of her personal journal (in which I read that she had recently been "infatuated" with a work colleague and had also been dreaming about, sexually fantasizing about, and occasionally dwelling on her high school ex over the years (who she had cut off contact with nearly 20 years ago), even looking him up recently and crying while seeing his current life, but saying that she was mad about how he treated her and that me and our kids deserve her more than he does). I also had read that she wasn't attracted to me at times and had issues with my weight gain over the years. We both apologized for the things we had done wrong and wanted to work to be better.
This all led to us having many emotional discussions and working to improve our relationship and be closer, and I basically went into a depression for many months after learning about her cheating and thoughts about other men. I lost a lot of weight and got in the best shape I've been in for many years. My wife was trying to put in some effort to talk with me and be closer, but I was often frustrated because even after learning about the cheating and everything, it still felt like I was responsible for initiating discussions and leading our work together: I downloaded relationship apps for us to do together and have intimate conversations about, etc.
During this time I asked my wife what things would make her feel closer with me, and she said she "needs emotional intimacy to want physical intimacy" and that she'd like to do regular date nights where we take turns planning them for each other. I wanted to do that for her so we started them. The first date nights I led, I put a lot of thought into and wrote her a love letter, planned romantic activities. Then when it was her turn to lead date night, it was clear she hadn't planned anything. Didn't prepare anything. She wanted to reschedule hers at the last minute sometimes because she was tired from work or something. This continued for a while until finally we both just stopped the date nights because it felt more like a chore.
I was still processing the cheating and my own insecurities for a while, and I started therapy for the first time ever, read books, listened to podcasts, learned about attachment theory and felt insights that my wife might have avoidant attachment and be averse to intimacy, while I think I've generally been secure, but I lean toward anxious when I feel threatened. But I was sad because while I was doing all this learning, my wife seemed to be doing nothing to try and learn and discuss with me and work on things.
I tried a few times over the months to gently mention that to her and ask her about if she was doing anything like this in her own therapy, but she would get defensive and say it "feels like she can never do enough" and basically to get off her back about it (even though I would ask rarely and try to be very kind and understanding about it). Basically I was just feeling sad that she didn't seem to care or want to put in the effort like I was (and I told her this, but again, same responses).
My wife has been kind of obsessed with work and busy, but it's felt like when she does have time she hasn't been prioritizing me or our marriage, while I have been. I've tried to give her hugs or be closer to her and she often bristles and doesn't seem interested. She hasn't been putting any effort into her appearance, especially not for me (she seems to care more about looking good at work than looking good for me) while I feel like I'm always wanting to look good for her. She's turned me down for physical intimacy quite a bit recently and basically if I don't initiate, we can go for a month without any sex easily. She just doesn't seem to have any libido at all. She's messy and makes messes constantly in our house that I feel like I'm always cleaning up after her and our kids, and I've asked her to not do certain things to make messes but she continues to do it.
Learning about her cheating and thoughts of other people made me feel really insecure about how she thinks of me and if she's really attracted to me. Since I'm finally in better shape, I've felt more confident but she hasn't been making me feel desired by her. I've never been with anyone other than her in my life, and I've been feeling less attracted to her since it feels like she isn't that interested in me romantically, and I've been thinking more about wanting to feel desired and loved, and kind of wanting to have a woman flirt with me or hit on me or something just to feel validated.
Recently I tried sharing with her how I'm feeling sad and a bit unwanted by her, wondering if she's attracted to me or if it's really low libido on her part, feeling like I'm old and not having the love and intimacy I want in a marriage. She seemed so thrown off by that, said she does just have very low libido and doesn't really think about sex, and she is attracted to me. I tried to let her know that regardless of that, I feel like she hasn't been prioritizing or putting effort into being close with me, and when I've tried to do those things she seems uninterested.
Her response is that she's just so busy with work, and we have two young kids and it's difficult, and she just has no energy for any of that. We split our parenting duties equally, I do most of the cleaning in our household, we both work full time, but I feel like I still want to put in effort for our marriage and closeness but she doesn't. Her view seems to be that she just can't, doesn't have the ability, whereas I feel like she finds the energy to do lots of other things she wants to do - she's just not prioritizing me and us. Again, it feels like I have to push her repeatedly to ever have intimacy with her of any type. She acknowledges that she has intimacy issues as well and is avoidant, but then will still insist that she just doesn't have energy for what I want.
It feels like there's always an excuse, and while I want to be understanding and gentle with her about it, I'm just feeling lonely in my marriage. Even when I try to reach out to her and emotionally explain this, it's like she brushes it off and doesn't seem too worried about me. Or if I say I want more intimacy, physically and emotionally, she tends to hone in on just the sexual part like that's all I want, but I want to feel close, in love. I want her to love me and desire me. But the less I feel that from her, the less I feel it towards her, and that worries me.
What can I do in this situation? Is there any way to get through to her? I can't imagine ever leaving her, we love our family and our children, but I feel kind of like I'm stuck in a situation where I'm not feeling fulfilled... I was content with that before I learned about the cheating and her lying to me, but ever since that it's harder for me to accept her not putting in effort or prioritizing our marriage and responding to all of my efforts.

I 25f got some older male friends that go out of their way for me. Typical "dad" stuff fix the car, pull me out when i get stuck, give advice, hang out, drink, dance, take me fishing, helps me get over fears, helped me recover from my car accident, etc. Their well into their 50s. Some married, some single. Anyways. I'm sitting here praying to not bring up the uncomfortable topic of the married one with him because he gives me the eyes, yall know the eyes. He makes funny flirty jokes, just overall making me feel good and laugh and smile. Whatcha think? Is this a married 50 year old man testing the waters? Is this a married 50 year old man that sees me as adopted daughter, kinda like dad's friend situations😂 I don't know but I do know that I've been taken advantage of by someone I saw as a male figure (65m) in my life. Yeah I was way wrong😂 Basically If I gotta add distance then imma add the distance bc I love the married ones wife as a momma Sticky situation in my hands.
Also I'm definitely not a california dime, id say maybe im a 7 with a personality of a 12 😂 but I am viewed as "damsel in distress" which tends to bring out ALL the superhero complexes in people😂
Men Help Truth please My feelings won't be hurt😂 But I know I want to be seen as a daughter. As I see him as a dad. But you know how that always tends to go😂😂😂 I don't wanna be caught off guard or blindsided I want other older men's opinions because this has left me pondering for days now

Hello,
I am writing to ask for help/ tips how to deal with ongoing narcissistic stalking/ abuse/ public humiliation.
After years of abuse and violence, I went no contact with my N father, who happens to also work in law (he is a judge). I fled the country, and had 12 wonderful years of no contact. Recently, I decided to come back to my home country and start fresh in a different city.
Sadly, he somehow found out where I live (although I was very careful) and showed up at my door. I said I wanted no contact with him and ran away. Afterwards, I went to the police and filled for a restraining order. Unfortunately, and because he works as a judge, he wrote his colegue he was heartbroken and just wanted to "check on me", and absolutely nothing was done to protect me from him... He keeps sending me letters in bright colors (such as red) telling me BS about missing me and some other narcissistic exhibition of his talent has a poet.
The letters don't bother me as much as the fear of him coming back, which I am convinced will happen again. When I was younger he loved to make a scene at my school in front of all my teachers and other students. He would shout, humiliate and even hit me in front of everyone. The same happened at college, so much so, that many of my friends/ colleagues stopped talking to me out of fear of his craziness.
I don't know what to do. He is about to retire and have a lot of free time. Not to mention, he is very likely to decompensate once he stops working. I am afraid he will show up on my door again, or at my work. I am afraid he will try to hurt me or even m*rder me. He has nobody because he is so antisocial, everybody turned his back on him.
Any ideas of how can I protect myself from this monster? I don't want to run away again and put all my life and dreams at pause again.

Hi y'all, this is a new account because I was getting triggered by reddit and I needed to delete my old account. I used to be pretty active here. :)
I'm 37 and was diagnosed early 2023. I spent 4 months inpatient last year after receiving the diagnosis. I'm currently doing EMDR twice a month, using my coping skills, and focusing on getting better so I can return to work (I haven't worked in 18 months).
For background: my mother has NPD :( and my father is emotionally immature. My psych suspects he was undiagnosed BPD when I was growing up based on my description of his behavior. I have 2 siblings who have a ton of issues, but no one else in my family of origin has ever sought treatment, therapy, or any help for the abuse. I haven't spoken to any of them in ~15 months and don't plan to reestablish contact until after my mother dies.
My question: My mother has a half-sister (my aunt) whose about 15 years older than her. Unfortunately, my grandmother triangulated my mother and her half-sister until she died in 2007. I only realized this last year while in treatment. (My aunt's father died in WWII and then her husband died in a freak workplace accident in the late '70s. A lot of my mother's triangulation was about how my aunt is a deadbeat, but she hasn't had an easy life!) She has 3 children who are a decade older than me and my siblings, but all 6 of us grew up pretty close. My cousins were like my older siblings and I have lots of good memories of them. However, they can be volatile and they gossip a lot. There is a ton of triangulation on my mother's side and I don't totally trust them because of my mother's behavior. It's like we're on two different teams because there's so much mistrust between these families, but we all grew up together! :(
My aunt is now in her mid-80s and I feel like it may be time to reach out to her before she passes. I didn't have any truly "safe" adults growing up, but my aunt and my grandfather (he passed already) were the closest ones to safety. (I had a family friend who I considered safe, but she died a few years ago from cancer. I wish I could go back in time and tell her how much I appreciated the little safety she gave me as a child!)
That brings me to my question: I'm considering reaching out to my safest cousin and asking her to put me in touch with my aunt. I'm very confused, though, about if this is a good idea. When my grandfather died in 2015, my mother and my aunt had a big fight at his funeral about money, inheritance, who gets his house, etc. Of course, my mother triangulated me and my siblings, and said this fight was all my aunts' fault because she's a deadbeat, etc. I have no idea if anything my mother said is true... I really don't trust my mother. She lies a lot. I do trust my intuition, which tells me that my aunt wasn't totally to blame, but is somewhat to blame for this argument. No one from my family of origin has spoken to my aunt or cousins since then, although I think my older sibling is connected with them on social media. I don't have social media.
Sorry, this is so long... in 2021, my parents and I went to a funeral of a distant cousin who passed from COVID. At the wake, one of my cousins (who is my aunt's age) was asking me about my grandfather's house, which was the source of the argument at his funeral. I said something casual about how my mother rents it out and it's in good shape. I thought it was just a casual conversation, but according to my mother and my older sister, this cousin was most likely fishing for information for my aunt... I have no idea who or what to believe. This comment about him fishing for information really upset me. :( I'm the second youngest of like 50 cousins and I don't really trust these people!
I want to talk to my aunt before she dies, but I'm scared that it will somehow get back to my mother and/or my siblings, and they will do something... I don't even know what they would do! They've only showed up to my house once since I cut contact, so I think this is one of my child parts being scared/hyper-vigilant.
I have EMDR on Friday and plan to use some of the time to discuss it with my therapist, but I was hoping someone else from this community would have experience with a similar situation... I just need advice from my peers and the handful of friends I have with CPTSD are youngehaven't been through as many family deaths as I have .... I went to a funeral every year growing up. I don't want to look back and regret not seeing my aunt before she passes. I don't totally trust her, but I do miss her and love her!
I HATE THIS DIAGNOSIS... I WISH MY FAMILY WAS "NORMAL"! ;-)
Thank you to anyone who read this far. Have a great day and stay safe! <3

TLDR at the end.
Im an MMA/Kickboxing fighter. I have several fights coming up so I believe I'm needing to lock in and get paired with other people that go hard and are more experienced. Ontop of fight team training every other day, the days in-between are normal MMA classes with everyone else. I slow down and telegraph alot for the newer people, women, and in general anyone not on fight team.
I've noticed that since locking in for these fights, I've accidentally gone a bit too hard on people. My friend fractured his leg from numerous reasons but one of then was from checking one of my kicks. I accidently round kicked a russian woman in the stomach when I didn't realize how close she was in the pocket and knocked the wind out of her. I of course profusely apologize and tell myself to slow down but on the other hand, these are big fights and I don't want to treat training like a joke and slow down so much that these other people aren't learning anything. So what I've decided is to talk to my instructor and ask to not be paired with anyone that isn't able to defend/protect themselves.
I feel like that's demeaning and an asshole thing to say to the rest of the people, but I don't like hurting people and I especially don't like hurting friends when they're just trying to get better the same way I am.
TDLR; I'm wanting to separate myself from some other classmates in MMA because I feel like they have lower levels of skill which will end up getting them hurt. I also feel like I'm going too hard without realizing it which reinforces my thoughts of separation. Should I nerf myself for half of my training days leading up to big fights or would it be better for everyone to just not fight these people?

Hello,
I am writing to ask for help/ tips how to deal with ongoing narcissistic stalking/ abuse/ public humiliation.
After years of abuse and violence, I went no contact with my N father, who happens to also work in law (he is a judge). I fled the country, and had 12 wonderful years of no contact. Recently, I decided to come back to my home country and start fresh in a different city.
Sadly, he somehow found out where I live (although I was very careful) and showed up at my door. I said I wanted no contact with him and ran away. Afterwards, I went to the police and filled for a restraining order. Unfortunately, and because he works as a judge, he wrote his colegue he was heartbroken and just wanted to "check on me", and absolutely nothing was done to protect me from him... He keeps sending me letters in bright colors (such as red) telling me BS about missing me and some other narcissistic exhibition of his talent has a poet.
The letters don't bother me as much as the fear of him coming back, which I am convinced will happen again. When I was younger he loved to make a scene at my school in front of all my teachers and other students. He would shout, humiliate and even hit me in front of everyone. The same happened at college, so much so, that many of my friends/ colleagues stopped talking to me out of fear of his craziness.
I don't know what to do. He is about to retire and have a lot of free time. Not to mention, he is very likely to decompensate once he stops working. I am afraid he will show up on my door again, or at my work. I am afraid he will try to hurt me or even m*rder me. He has nobody because he is so antisocial, everybody turned his back on him.
Any ideas of how can I protect myself from this monster? I don't want to run away again and put all my life and dreams at pause again.

I 29F live with my mom, older brother by 6 yrs and 95yr old grandma. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety from about 20yrs old and have probably been living with it since I was a child but didn't know what it was. Since I was a child I have had a lot of responsibility placed on me as the "gifted kid" that would "save and protect" the family and hold it together. Now, I wasn't aware I was being put into that role until I got to live and work abroad and had some time to reflect and also talk to peers to realise that most people don't live their childhood, teens and twenties supporting their family of adults - especially not as the youngest member of the household.
That job abroad felt like it was the first time doing something for myself and by myself but quickly became supporting the family financially and at every beck and call from abroad. My mom would vent to me about whatever is daunting on her emotionally, stressing her financially etc and being so used to it - I always made it become my problem to fix it. This lead to a problem where, I have no savings, no property that isn't tied to/shared with someone else, and I am constantly mentally drained and emotionally exhausted till I just don't have the mental capacity to work on my own goals and aspirations. Further stressing me out is I actually have a lot of big goals and aspirations and expectations I set to myself. Being so far behind, esp when it seems like its mostly not my fault (apart from my enabling it etc) doesn't do wonders for my mental health.
The usual pattern in my life is as soon as the slightest good thing happens, or even just a shift in my mental health (say motivation comes from somewhere and I really start to put plans into action) - something much worse happens that forces me back into my abyss. Except, it gets deeper and deeper every time. I'll spare you several examples.
So upon my realisation that I was probably "parentified", that my mom is far too reliant on me as a second breadwinner and that I am functionally her husband - I wrote her a letter saying I was pulling the plug on all that, that they all needed to learn how to live without relying on me because I don't even want kids and don't see why I am supporting adults when I don't even live there at the moment. I was going to express that they are fundamentally holding me back and that it has to and would stop.
Unfortunately, before I could finish that letter, mom calls to say she was diagnosed with cancer. Now this too would be somehow my issue to fix cause my brother though working always made less than me and he was extremely unwilling to take care of mom. Even to just take her to doctors appointments he couldn't be bothered to do, preferring to just work instead. While I was abroad I had to ask my friends and mom had to ask her friends for that kind of support and I eventually hired a caregiver that I sent money back home (in addition to my usual financial aid). Eventually it would come to pass that mom would need chemo and the possibility she may not survive. I was afraid to come home lest all the burden of this naturally high stress situation fell on me - but at the same time what if she doesn't make it and I never saw her again?
I couldn't afford a roundtrip airfare and the arrangement with my job was if I terminated at the end of my contract without renewing I could go home at my employer's expense. I decided to quit and come home after a less than hopeful conversation with my mom's oncologist. This meant financially we'd be reliant on mom's regular burdened by debt income, her insurance and my brother's income (this never happened btw) to get by since I am now jobless.
What I feared happening happened exactly AND more! Not only did the caregiver I hired eventually walk off the job which made me mom's primary caregiver, her nurse, her chauffer, personal assistant and courier. I also became the housekeeper, the shot caller, the household manager, the cook, the plumber... you get the idea. On top of that, my brother would be a regular thorn in the side because he would throw tantrums when I needed the car to do things for mom (mom and I own the car but mom started to let him drive it while I was away since he recently got his license). He was highly uncooperative with handling his own personal responsibilities (eg taking care of his cats), as well as anything where I would need extra help with mom. My grandma also would complicate things ( she has always been a narcistic bitch and no one in the family likes her but mom insists she has to stay cause mom is a pushover - you see who I get it from yes. Grandma would actively compete with my mom for pity points, faking sickness, deliberately making herself sick, exerting herself unnecessarily to then feign weakness and guilt trip me - all because she wanted the same attention that I gave the cancer patient.
Mom too, would put me under emotional duress cause in all this she also wanted me to do everything and be happy about it even if I had to pretend. She would start to make demands, oddly specific meal requests of someone who does not cook at all, demand having access to me at all times of day, and if I were to take free time out of the house by myself, she would insist I need to do something for the house or for her while I was out esp if I was going to use her car (the car we both own, that when we bought she told me it was mine and the car that is officially willed to me - yes that one). We also had several arguments where I learned she always thought that cause I was the "smart one" she expected that I could be fully left to my devices and I'd turn out fine and she could rely on me to take care of my deadbeat, driven-less, lazy, lonely, woman-blaming incel and approaching sexually deviant brother after she eventually passes. Cause she is confident that he may never learn to fully adult. And she is likely right by her own fault was she coddles him and shields him from every form of consequence of his action or inaction and is very hesitant about any kind of tough love for him but when it comes to me - even with the slightest of things/benefits she will quickly withhold because "I am inherently more privileged" than he is.
In all of this, my friends when I reach out for support never want to show up. They don't want to deal with any of my problems. No one wants to let me stay even for a week to get a break from my household. Most of them anyway I can't even trust cause they see me as their scapegoat for female touch and affection and since I am no longer willing to pity their loneliness they have gone extremely cold and some try to skirt around touching me inappropriately when they're around me.
Now, I also live in a poor country where pay is always shit. I still only have a bachelors in something that pays extra shit at entry level esp in my country. Peers in my country have very different interests than me usually which is how I am still with the same circle of misfits I have from high school as friends. There's not really anything to do at home that interests me - career wise or entertainment wise. Which is why getting out was such a high priority. But as you can see that's always been and continues to be put on the back burner.
Now that mom is doing much better, its back to looking at exiting cause I will not ever feel better if I stay in this house or even in that country. And my family can thank themselves for finally pushing me to the point where I really don't care what happens to them once I am confidently gone.
So I have shit family, shit friends, no job, my family is actively trying to strip me of any kind of power or leverage with what I do own, changing the conversation as necessary if it means I stay trapped. All because I unfortunately expressed that I want out and that I am not of the opinion that family is everything or blood is thicker than water. Once I get a job, it probably won't pay well enough to rent and apparently the car I part own isn't really mine while I live in my mom's house (which is also legally, partially mine) by her logic. Public transit is very expensive, so if I rent without a car that's even more money I'd have to make. I'd also have to accept the risks that come with public transit in a murder-loving country esp a murder-against-women-loving country vs just brute forcing the mental trauma of staying at that pitiful excuse of a home.
This was a lot longer than planned and if you read all of that, thank you. Sincerely. If you have any tips on how to cope in a high stress, high pressure environment besides hobbies, meditation and exercise - enlighten me. If you skipped to the end, I am not doing a TLDR. I will just wish you blessings and I hope that your life is on a better trend than mine ever was.

My current card is a discover card that I started 6 months ago. I had no credit history, so it was the only card I got approved for. My limit is $500, so I've been keeping my utilization low (<25%). I've managed to go from 670 to 770 since then (experian FICO). More info: 24 y/o gross income $72,500 monthly rent $1,500
I made a mistake by starting my credit late, but am now in a position where I need a higher limit (expensing trips for my job on my debit card can add up and leave me in a tough spot at the end of the month. my company does not provide a company card for this). Applied for a limit increase over the phone with Discover three weeks ago and got denied. Just applied for a Chase Sapphire and got denied.
The letter from Discover says it was because of insufficient credit history, assuming Chase is the same. Have never missed any payments or messed up in any way I am aware at least. Even followed Chase's guide for building credit as advice by a banker there. I by no means have an exemplary income but still make more money/have a higher credit score than friends who have a Sapphire or equivalent card. I'm frustrated only because I need a higher credit limit immediately and am looking for any advice on how to do that/when I can expect to stop getting shafted for having too recent of a credit history?

My adoption (closed adoption at birth) is what lead me to antinatalism. Does anyone relate? It's the sheer cruelty of forcing a child to be alive just so you can purposely abandon it/give it to strangers for me, but i'm supposed to be happy because i'm alive?
At my last gynecology appointment (i'm seeing doctors a lot due to illness and frequent infection)!where I again asked about sterilization the doctor directly asked me "well what if you want your own kids someday?" Further confirming to me that despite what people say, the general public doesn't regard adoption as a real family unit. I don't either anymore.
My antinatalism stance is a bit shakier with biological, wanted children, but when I think about adoption the answer is so clear to me. No one can do anything to absolutely guarentee their child won't have to be adopted someday, what if you and the other parent get into a car accident when the child is at home with a babysitter?
This is an isolating feeling for me. There are antinatalism friendly spaces online, there are pretty much no adoption unfriendly places online, so where else to ask but here? Has any adoptee experienced a similar journey to antinatalism?

Ok, So I've decided to speak my final peace and be done even thinking about this shit considering I'm pretty sure you have a new man anyways. It'll be long, so.. Read it or not. I've gotta do it. Lots you've heard over and over. Some maybe not. But, here goes..
L,
I TRULY, ONLY, ever wanted what is absolute best for you. I've only ever wanted you to be happy. And i hate that it couldn't be "us" that did that for you. That being said. I still don't even truly know what to believe. I don't know what was real, What wasn't. Given everything that happened and the way it happened and noticing more things as i go back and watch our vod. It truly seems to me like you weren't even that into me the whole time. Unless it had to do with anything sexual. And I'm beginning to believe even that may have been an act. I don't think we were real to you. I think that you came here just to distract me from the truth. And I'm sorry that didn't work out for you.
I do, however. HIGHLY regret talking to you the way i did. Even given what you did and what you were doing. I should've just walked away instead of letting my temper get the best of me and Yelling and name calling like i did. I'm far too old for that shit and I was acting like a child. I do acknowledge the fact that some of the things I've said out of pure anger and pain could have very well hurt your feelings. And this is my final, yet, VERY sincere apology for acting in such ways. I regret it every day. Not a day goes by that i don't. I was just hurt. VERY hurt. I think a lot more hurt than you'll ever realize, or even care to. I just wanted you to do right by me so bad. I knew what was happening. I knew the mistakes we were both making before, during, and the aftermath that was to come. And i was so MAD at you for not listening to me knowing how i felt about you and knowing how honest i really have been with you. I was telling you the whole time that you were showing loyalty to someone else over me. And that's not what you're supposed to do in a relationship. It's supposed to be you and your person against the world. And i felt like it was you and them, against me. While i DO regret how I've acted. I do not regret the intent and my reasoning behind acting such ways. Because just like i told you. It was indeed, The only way i knew how to fight for us and try to talk some since into you from so far away. I was trying to get you to treat me right and give me the same respect I'd given you. To this day, I have nothing hidden from you. I always to the truth, No matter how hard, or afraid for any reason i may have been. Even if i lied at first. I myself always came to you with the 100% truly and i gave you proof in ways leaving you no room to doubt as reassurance i was doing just that.
I'll say it again, stop listening to you friend. If he was any friend at all. As SOON as you told him you were in love with somebody he would stop communicating everyday all day. Because in the real world.. Communicating like you two do will always put some sort of doubt into your partners mind rather it be subconsciously or well conscious and expressed clearly. In a relationship. It is NOT ok to send the types of pictures you sent to him given your past be "dating" or "fuck buddies" whatever you were. And him clearly stating to you that he will ALWAYS "have the hots for you" (that's hitting on you, in case you didn't know). And it is NOT ok to talk about playing with yourself nor your sex life with your partner to somebody whose been such in your life of the opposite sex. Therapists being the exception. Idc what anyone says about how much they trust their partner, Things like this will cause issues. Pretty sure it's a universal boundary unless you're in an open relationship. Which we'd clearly stated was not our case. So, you knew better. And so did he. So if he was truly your friend, He would've well understood if you politely told him you'd crossed boundaries that were not ok and wished not to continue talking like you did. A every now and then "check in" or "catch up" is fine. And i told you that as well. But you'd proven you could not be trusted conversing with this person as you were. I feel like i asked nothing outrageous or unfair given the circumstances of this situation. Specially considering the photos sent, passing up plenty of appropriate photos that would've gotten the same point across.
Now, he used an analogy with me once. " If the police came knocking at your door asking to come inside and look around, just to clear you as a suspect. And you had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to hide and you were COMPLETELY INNOCENT. and they didn't have a warrant, just wanted to clear your name. would you let them in?" I said "Yes, why wouldn't I? I'm innocent and have nothing to hide. I let them in and they see that.. my name is cleared and they see I'm innocent. Therefore, leaving me alone"
He called me crazy as fuck and said he absolutely would not. He's rebellious for no reason. He's the type that ends up getting shot during a traffic stop just for being an idiot and making himself look like hes up to no good even if hes not up to shit.
Now, I understand we as humans deserve our privacy. 100% agree with that. But, You also have to understand that.. like I've said, It's situational. If I'm COMPLETELY INNOCENT and have nothing to hide.. I don't and will never mind giving up a tad bit of privacy for a brief moment to prove so. SPECIALLY when it's for somebody i love and to prove to them that even though I've agreed and they have every right to think something. I'm innocent and they have nothing to worry about. I'd show them anything they wanted to see, given i was innocent... that is. Even if I'd had enough and was leaving anyways.. I'd do it just for them. Because i loved them and wanted them to know even though we're done. I was good to them and they will never have to question it. Not to mention... It would just make them look dumb for blaming me and i could show them anything proving they were wrong lol
He knew what he was telling you made you look guilty, Everyone knew and even you said not showing it made you look guilty. So there's only ONE reason i STILL have NOT seen it. And....well... LMAO
Anyways...
Regardless if anything was EVER real on your part. Which it doesn't seem like it was. Considering everything. Specially how you knew my current life outside of us and how it was going. And you knew my past and how EVERYONE has hurt me. You continued to do so, Having the power to AT LEAST give me a little peace of mind. Or AT LEAST a little clarity. You were leaving anyways. It wouldn't have hurt you. But, You still seen how you were making me feel, and the things you were making me question. And CHOSE to do NOTHING. I wouldn't do what you did to me to you, EVER. Because i loved you. Hell I wouldn't do a STRANGER the way you did me. Just to be honest. But i get it, honestly. You COULDN'T tell the truth or show it. Because you were scared I'd tell his wife. And some of my other "friends" knew too and were keeping it from me. And your bad advice friend, wouldn't let you. Even though you say he had no influence. I know he told you he wouldn't be your friend anymore if you showed me. Once again showing loyalty to another person over me.. Telling me i was the love of your life.
I loved you. With all of me. I would never tell you something i think about do you any harm. I'll ALWAYS have your best interest at heart. ALWAYS. Even given everything that's happened and you making me out to be the bad guy. Read back through it all bbygirl. Even when i was asking you to prove things. I was telling you then i wanted you to prove what i was seeing wasn't true and i WANTED us to work. I was just seeing too much.
But, I guess me still proving up until now you could TRUST ME. And that I LOVE YOU. And that I'm loyal to YOU. Isn't and never will be good enough for you to tell everyone else to fuck off. Look at what actually happened and how long i was still there. And Bring your ass HOME.
last time I'll ever say this. I didn't care what the truth was. I never did. You're the only person I've ever considered an open relationship, JUST to keep you. So i didn't really care that you may or may not have fucked him... or him... or anyone else for that matter. I've been shitty in my day. Beyond shitty. I'm not here to judge you. What i DID, CARE about. Was you hiding things from me. Was you lying to me. Was you telling me you loved me and being loyal to somebody who not only did you say you didn't give a fuck about.. But threw you STRAIGHT under the bus and gave you up to try and save himself. ALL you had to do... was show me ONCE AND FOR ALL. after EVERYTHING... That you were down to ride for ME. THE TRUTH... And i would've worked with you through anything. I loved you like that.
But, too late now i guess. I tried my absolute hardest. Came here talking shit out of anger bc I'm STILL mad at you for messing up and running instead of fixing it. For breaking us both apart. i wasn't innocent.. But my GOD L. That shit was overkill. I've never been so dirty :(
Learn from this. So that with this guy.. You don't make the same mistakes. And you can be happy. Take my advice.. I PROMISE it'll last A LOT longer than we did. And you deserve to be happy. And that little one of yours deserves a father figure to love her like she was his. Don't settle for less.
I love ya, dork.
This is mys LAST, LAST letter to you.
BC i think it was all fake anyways. No way all the shit I've seen and how you were towards the end, was it not. NOT POSSIBLE. Because like i said. I actually loved you. And there's no amount of money nor evil that could make me do you how you did me in the end. period.
Take it easy,

Has anyone with serious trust issues been able to overcome them? Were you in a relationship? How did you overcome it?
Background: so my trust issues are really deep rooted and come from a family history of cheating, and then being cheated on a couple times by an ex.
Fast forward to last year I (30F) met this guy (32M) we really hit it off, but early on he told me he was dating other people which was commendable and honest, but put me super on edge. Then one day after finally agreeing to go to his place, he didn’t hide a condom well, I saw it and just realized I couldn’t keep dating him unless we were together so I broke things off. He returned a couple weeks later and let me know he was ready to be in a relationship. I was really happy because it is a very special connection and we’ve now been together 1 year.
Then about 4 months into the relationship he went on a one on one trip with a female friend. Although I was anxious about it, I relied on a friend for support because i know there are people who have long standing friendships and this seemed to be one of those. Plus I didn’t want to bring up something that might be totally innocent. I only started to freak out after he told me he couldn’t talk on the phone one day because the girl he was traveling with was asleep. He hadn’t mentioned that they would be sharing rooms throughout the trip. It sent me into a spiral and resulted in a really big argument, but we resolved it. We agreed room sharing wasn’t going to work, but I said I could be flexible when it came to trips with female friends.
Then 4 months after that he met a new coworker who he mentioned was really cool and he’d never met her and how well they get along. They are not on the same team, but later he shared that they often practice languages together at work, and it all just started to feel cutesy. This is all via IM as she lives in another country tho visits US office multiple times a year. Anyway, my anxiety was on 100 and I was being really closed off to any mention of her. Eventually I brought it up and it led to another big argument which went on and off for a couple weeks. He eventually validated that he understood what it felt that way though made no promises to not practice languages. I actually ended up meet this coworker recently. She’s very nice. We get along well. But I just learned that they follow eachother on socials. And my trust issues are so bad this just feels like another thing I need to grapple with. Not to mention she’s his type and they do have a lot In common.
Now, he’s on a solo trip- he’s the adventuring type- and my anxiety is flaring. He met a group out where he is visiting and I don’t know the make up of this group, but I just know sometimes things happen. Especially when drinking is involved. And they were out at bars. My anxiety was terrible and I brought it up to him and he just sounded exhausted. Like tired of talking about the issue, totally valid, tired of me not being able to trust him totally valid. He just really dosent get why these things make me anxious and has mentioned it’s definitely an issue I need to work on.
I’m in therapy and am trying to work on these things. I feel like my partner is getting tired at my instances of anxiety and mistrust, which is understandable. I’m starting to feel like this relationship is doomed and on one level I see how my anxiety is draining and on the other I feel like he has no sympathy or understanding of where I’m coming from.
Has anyone with trust issues overcome the issues while in a relationship? Any tips would help.
TLDR: I have bad trust issues, and am in therapy, but I think it’s taking a tole on my relationship. Has anyone with trust issues overcome them while partnered?

Forgive me, I’ve hardly slept and my head is a mess.
My Mother died when I was teenager, after her death I found out that the man who brought me up is my biological dad.
For years I’ve been trying to find out who he is. I’ve heard many stories over the years and no leads.
About 6 years ago I did an AncestryDNA. My highest matches are cousins. I’ve heard back from one my cousins and finally got the details I’ve been seeking for- a name.
The name matches some of the stories and his age is in the ballpark.
After some more research I’ve potentially got a name, address and mobile number.
I don’t know how to proceed. Here are a couple of ideas;
They are a tradesperson, one idea was to get my friend to ask him for a quote.
Write a letter asking to meet in a certain place.
Just call him.
A friend family friend confirmed that he knows I’m his as when I was a baby he visited a few times.
This secret was heavily guarded by my mum. M
My head is a completely mess, I’ve been waiting for this for years and now I’m clueless.
Reddit, please help!

Hi, This is my first time posting, but I have been reading a lot of posts in this group. I recently picked up my 8 week old Australian shepherd puppy. I have had her almost a week now and let me tell you, it has been miserable. She has been amazing, nothing with her that I hate, or has been difficult. The first two nights she got up twice throughout the night, and the last few days she's been sleeping almost all night until, 6 am. She's settled in well, she's eating and drinking , she does have accidents, but to be expected.
I'm in my early 20s, I have a long history of anxiety and depression, and have been struggling with depression/ anxiety since the beginning of the new year. In and out of jobs due to panic attacks and horrible anxiety. In March I had to say goodbye to my childhood dog of 14 years, and it mentally almost killed me. We said goodbye in our home, with family and our other two dogs around. It took me a long time to be okay, I dreaded coming home at any time of day because I knew she wasn't here, I avoided parts of the house where she was all the time because of the memory of her being there. It took me two weeks before I could remove her crate and blankets and toys from my room, everything was left just like it was when she passed, and even after rearranging everything, I still find it hard to be in there. I was so lonely and even though we still had our other two older dogs, I felt so alone. The depression and anxiety already struggling, on top of loosing my best friend was the worst I've ever been in my life, and I have lost so many loved ones in my life in the past 5 years, this has been the hardest goodbye. In April a family friend had a litter of Australian Shepherd puppies, I have also admired them and always thought when my dog passed I would get a blue merle female. The family happened to have blue merles and only one of them was female, it felt like a sign. I reached out to learn more about them, get the details of how old, how much, and when they would be ready, etc. The family had told me that there was a lot of people interested in her and that she would like to know sooner if I wanted her. I took a day to think it over and I said yes I did want to move forth with getting her. I was so excited and couldn't wait to get her, I had everything ready and set up, until the day we got her. Once we got her I cried the whole way home, it was a 4 hour drive. I thought I was just overwhelmed in her and was just nervous and it would be over after spending a day or so with her, but it hasn't gotten better.
I'm not overwhelmed with the fact that she's a puppy, I know that and I understand that, Like I said we've had all of our dogs since they were puppies and our oldest is 15 and youngest 13. Its been a long time since a puppy was around but I'm not afraid of taking care of her. Since she's been here I haven't been eating, been very nausea ,crying literally all day, not sleeping and its not because she's not sleeping, I'm constantly worried. My anxiety and depression has been worse than it ever has, in just the week she's been here. I thought after a day or two I would get better, and we would start to bond especially with how well she's settled in, but she's doing great and I'm doing horrible. I truly do not know what it is that is making me feel this way, but I know a change in routine has been an big issue. I'm scared that I didn't think this through like I should've but I had to make a decision fast, and after that I was so excited, and then she gets here and its been hell mentally.
I feel like an utter failure. My mom even told me that with everything else going on in our lives, and the way I act around the puppy that I don't truly want her. I've tried to make a connection and I know its only been a week, but I can't keep living like this mentally. I thought bringing her into my life would give me something to look forward too, and give me a reason to want to go home, but now when I'm out I dread going home. I think I did this too soon after loosing my dog, and with everything else going on i thought I could handle it, but I'm in a loosing battle.
I never knew about puppy blues until after we got her and I did research on these feelings. Everyone says it will get better, but has anyone experienced anything similar. My mom thinks we need to rehome home her for her sake and mine, and being that she's young she would be able to adjust and someone would love her like I couldn't. I'm at a loss and just wanted to see if anyone else has felt this, and what you have done. I've never once gotten rid of a pet, but when she said about rehoming her I can't say I was begging her not to.
thank you in advanced for any tips or insight on your personal experiences.

Previous Part
My eyes darted around the room, still shocked from the brutality I just witnessed from Shaoni. Katrina had strutted out of view and when my eyes turned to where Brooke’s crumpled form should’ve been he was gone to. At some point both Robert and John had run off towards the growing sounds of gunfire. Shaoni and I still stood in the coliseum, shaken to our cores but both for very different reasons.
*CLANG*
The sudden noise startled me, the sound of metal on metal. The sound came again, this time I heard it clearly and turned around to face the noise only to be met by a few familiar faces.
“Don’t mean to bother you but their shootin up the place, could ya let us the hell in!”
Rocco shouted as he beat Brookes stolen lighter against the metals bars that closed off the back entrance to the coliseum. Bianca gave me a sheepish wave as I looked over their faces again. Frank, Stein, and Tuck were with her. They must have come through the same way Bianca and I had a few days before.
“NOW!”
Rocco shouted in irritation as my brain finally kicked into gear and I ran over to let them through the barred metal gate.
“What’s going on up there?”
I wondered out loud, concerned by how shell shocked they all looked.
“I’d guess something involving the government, with equipment like that I doubt it would be anyone else. Just as we got to the hole Bianca mentioned several men in black tactical gear came out of the forest at our sides. When we didn’t clear out like they demanded they started firing so we dove in.”
Stein explained.
“I take it that’s Shaoni?”
He added, pointing towards where she lay, hunched over and taking shaky breaths on the ground.
“Is she alright?”
Bianca chimed in, craning her neck to get a better view of her past everyone else.
“The hell should we care!? Isn’t it her fault we’re doin’ any of this in the first place?”
Rocco grumbled up at us as he laid back on the ground. Glad to see he wasn’t taking things to seriously. Tuck just stared at Shaoni with this intense anger in his eyes, he didn’t say a word.
I know I shouldn’t care what happened to her at this point but a part of me just couldn’t leave Shaoni like this. Sure, she probably didn’t deserve the sympathy but I couldn’t help feeling a little bad for her now that the anger had passed. When I made my way over to her I got the sense I was seeing the real Shaoni for once. I was seeing someone who witnessed her people rise and fall, saw the country we live in change and grow as it became what we know today. Someone who’d lived countless lifetimes as a piece that just didn’t quite fit the puzzle anymore. I thought about everything Bianca had learned about Shaoni, how she was given her powers, no, her burden in the first place. Suddenly I had a pretty good idea of what exactly she brought everyone here for.
“Shaoni?... Are you… uh, you ok?”
I said like I was trying to comfort a dying animal. The closer I got the more I could hear, she was crying. It was that held back sort of crying right before the dam breaks into full on sobs. She was cracking but still trying to put on a tough face, still trying to be every bit as imposing as she had been the first night I saw her. But she wasn’t, now she just looked pitiful.
“You… you’re right you know Keith. I’m not Justice anymore… I…I don’t think I have been for a very long time.”
She choked out through tears that flowed freely down her face as she rose to her feet.
“I don’t know why I brought you here… I was just so desperate to…”
She trailed off but that was alright, I already knew what she was going to say.
“To escape? Pass on your burden? This whole thing was to chose someone to pass the Thunderbird spirit onto wasn’t it?”
I asked, sure that I was right.
“Yes, this is what I wanted from the start, to give my burden to one of you. At first I wanted the trials to help me make my decision but by the time all of you arrived I just wanted a way out. I wanted to finally live a real life. I’ve lived too long… I just want to live simply before the end that should’ve come so long ago.”
Shaoni cried, more controlled now as she finally started to get a hold of herself.
“So what? You’d just give it to someone else! What about what that would do to them?”
“I just wanted out Keith! I know it was selfish, I don’t care! I just want the nightmare to be over!”
Shaoni screamed out at me. She was hysterical enough that I saw Stein’s hand shoot towards his belt. I’m sure he had that gun I saw yesterday waiting there so I held out my hand to signal him to wait.
“We did good once, in the beginning. But that changed, the wars the injustice I just couldn’t stand by and let that happen so I fought back. I spread the idea that fighting to the death was better than compromising for peace, compromising to save lives. That’s when we… I went wrong. I lead them astray! I was responsible for their deaths! Every! Single! One! I was bitter and resentful for years and I took it out on anyone I thought was guilty. I’ve lived with that for centuries! Do you think I don’t know I’ve become a monster Keith?!”
Shaoni finished with a look of profound shame on her face.
I never thought I’d see the day when I actually felt bad for Shaoni. Not some spur of the moment there’s a full on shootout going on above us and I probably shouldn’t let her die, feeling bad. No, I genuinely felt sorry for her after hearing her talk about the past with total honesty for once.
“You could come with us.”
I offered, looking back to everyone who’d gathered around her at that point. The looks on their faces all told me they weren’t fans of that Idea but only Tuck protested.
“I won’t help her crawl outta the bed she made! Keith, do you honestly think she doesn’t deserve everything thats comin’ to her?!”
“No, but I think she’s suffered enough. Besides, I really don’t want to leave someone down here to die knowing I could’ve done something about it.”
“You know what, fine! You care to much about this Keith, she deserves it! But if you want to take her with us don’t be surprised when she goes on and stabs ya in the back! Now come on, we should get moving.”
Tuck finished, throwing his hands up in the air in an act of frustrated surrender.
“So you realize we’ve got to go out there right? We’re not climbing back out the way we came in so heading out the main entrance is our only option at this point.”
Frank said bluntly as we watched Rocco scurry out of the hole they had dropped in from. We’d all collectively decided we were better off sending Rocco back home. Frank was right though, and even though the sounds of gunfire had started to sound a little farther away I still wasn’t a fan of getting anywhere closer to them.
“I might be able to help with that.”
Shaoni replied, getting to her feet with an air of determination.
“Stay behind me and move when I tell you to.”
We all fell into line behind Shaoni without another word. I guess all of us realized the the sobbing mess we’d seen before also just so happened to be the same Thunderbird that reduced most of Imalone to ashes. So despite how we felt about letting her lead us around it was probably our best chance at the moment.
I was a little surprised that none of… whatever was happening out there hadn’t spilled into the mine and made its way to us. We found out why just as soon as the single file line behind Shaoni made it out of the mine. The camp was devastated, what wasn’t on fire or covered in bullet holes was smashed or ripped to pieces. The ground was littered in bodies and shell casings. A few hundred feet in front of us a small group of Shaoni’s followers where taking shots at the men in black tactical gear Stein had mentioned. There was maybe ten of them but it looked like those ten had slaughtered nearly all of the followers that had made up this camp.
I threw up on the spot, I was so shocked by the scene in front of me I didn’t even manage to bend over, it just kinda waterfalled out of my mouth. I heard Bianca groan in disgust from behind me. I didn’t understand why everyone else wasn’t reacting the same way I was. As I came back to my senses after a minute or so I took off my now vomit covered jacket and felt the cool air through my shirt. Shaoni had instructed us to move and I must’ve moved on my own. All of us were gathered behind a small rocky outcrop near the entrance to the mine.
“You doing alright?”
Bianca asked quietly from behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at her and noticed the jewel encrusted dagger from before was clutched in her hand, twinkling with reflections from her now glowing blue eyes.
I could barely hear Bianca over the sounds of gunfire. Which almost certainly meant the last of the survivors were being wiped out. I couldn’t watch anymore death today so I just ducked lower behind our cover.
“You hear me Keith? Are you ok?”
Bianca persisted with a little more concern in her voice. I was still trying to pretend I hadn’t just seen dozens of dead bodies but I couldn’t really ignore her forever.
“No not…not really.”
I said, my voice coming out silent as a church mouse.
“Was it the-”
I cut her off
“I’ve never seen a dead body before, I mean I have but not like… not like that. The one guy his jaw was just…. Just gone. How do you guys do it? How do you just look at that and not react?”
Bianca sighed and looked me in the eyes. There was a kind of recognition in them, like she was seeing a little bit of herself in my situation.
“We’ve all seen a lot of horrible stuff in our lives, we’re used to it. Still it doesn’t make it feel normal to see… this. Do you think you can hold it together a bit longer or do you want me to…”
Bianca trailed off but it was obvious to me what she meant. Bianca was offering to soothe that terrified part of me with her powers again.
“Thanks but no, I’ll be alright I’ll probably be seeing this in my dreams for weeks though.”
I answered, trying to make a stupid joke to lighten the mood. Bianca cracked a hint of a smile and that was enough for me.
While we’d been talking everyone had failed to notice Shaoni was gone. She had stood up and was walking straight towards where those men in black gear where picking through what was left of her followers. She was glowing though, every single tattoo glowed with an intense white light and then in a flash she was gone, and the Thunderbird was in her place. Frank and Stein stared in awe of the huge beast in front of them. The Thunderbird looked exactly as I remembered. The blue feathers and steel gray beak reflecting in the light from its crackling white eyes.
“That’s it, That’s the god damn bird!”
Tuck yelled like we couldn’t see what was right in front of us. I think he was just surprised to see the Thunderbird again. Even after years of swearing to get back at “the bird” for the friends he lost I don’t think he ever thought he’d come face to face with it again. Seeing it must be bringing up more than a few memories he’d rather forget.
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret! She’s been helping us Tuck, at least put your differences aside until we’ve gotten all this figured out.”
Stein yelled over an ear splitting screech from the massive bird as Tuck began to tense up. Every muscle in his body looked like it was about to pop, they were bulging to an inhuman degree. With a long exhale he loosened up and the swelling went down.
“Damn it… fine! But only till we got things settled here, after that I need to have a “conversation” with that… thing!”
Tuck shouted in begrudging agreement.
The men in front of us all turned toward Shaoni, her new form towering over them. Then I heard a familiar voice shout out,
“You wanted it gone, You’re looking at it! What’re you all waiting for!”
A commanding voice rang out from one of the people in front of us. I didn’t take long to spot the platinum blonde hair poking out from under the armored black helmet the woman wore, not just any woman, Katrina. I didn’t have much time to let that sink in before Katrina made a fist, stuck two fingers up in the air and shook them forward at us. After that, all hell broke loose.
The men behind Katrina rushed forward, guns drawn. Stein drew his own pistol and cocked it, taking aim at the approaching men. Tuck tensed up again and this time he didn’t hold himself back. Bones cracked and skin shifted to accommodate the inhuman muscles he now possessed. Hair sprang up all over his body and under it his face became more angular, his nose almost snout-like. Tuck looked something like a werewolf but definitely not the wolf man I expected. He looked more like an extremely hairy, unnaturally muscular feral person than any wolf man. Frank, Bianca, and I all hunkered down behind the outcrop, waiting for the worst to happen. Shaoni took to the sky with a flap of her massive wings as the gunfire started.
Nothing ever really prepares you for how loud a gunshot actually is, especially a whole bunch of them from fully automatic weapons. There’s nothing quite like being shot at either, at some point you just have to accept the fact that at any moment one of those things flying around you is going to hit you and just get ready for it. That doesn’t actually do anything to calm you down though, at least it didn’t for me. I was huddled behind that little outcropping like a puppy hiding from fireworks on the fourth of July. Wind gusted all around us as Shaoni flapped her wings furiously. The wind coming from her winds was so intense it blew the bullets being fired at her off course. Lead rained all around us as I listened to the cracks of even more bullets being fired. I heard growling as something roughly Tuck sized tore forwards toward the gunfire.
The sky was turning an enraged black and rain had already started to fall in sheets. Lightning struck the ground every so often as well, to close and regular to be natural. I peaked up over the outcrop at one point. I was just in time to see one of the men get struck by a bolt of lightning and tense up as he fell to the ground. As the men kept firing at Shaoni some of their shots started to hit home. The bullets that didn’t get turned away with the wind glanced off her massive form. Whatever those feathers were made off seemed to stop most of the bullets dead in their tracks but it was becoming obvious Shaoni couldn’t keep this up. From our position behind the outcrop Bianca and I both felt the beats of her wings and the gusts of wind that came with it coming slower and slower. We shared a glance for just a second, from the look in Bianca’s eyes, I felt certain we were doomed. More and more of the bullets seemed to be hitting Shaoni and her movements became slower still until eventually it happened.
With a shrill cry she fell from the sky, her blue features stained red in places. Shaoni hit the ground with an earthshaking crash and lay still. Katrina screamed something I couldn’t hear in the violent storm that still raged all around us. When I inched my way up to take a look I saw Katrina and her men charging toward Shaoni guns drawn. Behind them I caught sight of Tuck’s muscular figure getting back up from the ground. I hadn’t been keeping an eye on him before but it looked like he’d seen better days. He hesitated a bit before me moved, looking back to the outcrop where we were and over towards where Shaoni lay. He looked once, twice, then shook his head, mind apparently made up and ran at the men on all fours.
They didn’t hear him coming from behind over the storm and as they raised there weapons Tuck pounced. With one swipe of his humongous hand he sent one of the men flying off towards the forest. Even Katrina was surprised by Tuck’s sudden attack. The time provided by everyone taking a moment to decided who to point their gun at gave Shaoni just enough time to act. She shot one wing out, glancing off everyone near her and knocking them to the ground. One of them men’s helmets flew off with the hit and Stein quickly lined up a shot and fired, hitting the man in the top of the head. The look in his eyes was devoid of any emotion as he ducked back down behind the outcrop. I got the sense this wasn’t the first time Stein had killed, not surprising considering his time in Germany. Still, there was something unsettling about that look in the old scientists eyes.
As Katrina and her men got their bearings again and started firing at Tuck bullets plinked off the outcrop. Apparently they hadn’t forgotten we were there. I stole a quick glance over to where Shaoni had fallen but the Thunderbird was gone revealing a hole in the ground created from the impact of her fall.
“TUCK!”
I screamed out to get his attention for a moment. Tuck’s head swirled towards me just long enough for him to see my outstretched hand pointing to the hole in the ground. I grabbed Bianca’s hand and pulled her to her feet, making a mad dash to the hole. Frank and Stein saw what we were doing and followed after us. Stein fired wild shots off towards Katrina and her men while Tuck kept harassing them.
By some miracle Tuck was still going even as I saw bullets tear into him, he was an animal. He tossed the men around like rag dolls and at one point I turned to see him bring his now claw-like fingernails arching upwards. The head of the man he’d hit was bent back at a sickening angle, he was dead there was no question but Tuck didn’t even stop to spare a thought for the man. Seeing one of their comrades killed in front of them seemed to get the attention of the entire group of them. I hated to admit it but it was exactly the distraction we needed.
As we ran past the chaos of the fight I heard a mix of screams of agony and determination. At one point one of the men’s broken bodies flew over the four of us and hit the ground with a wet crunch that sent a shiver down my spine. We just kept running though, everyone following behind me because I looked like I had a plan. To be fair I did, it was just a bad plan, more of a feeling honestly. I thought if we could get into that hole Shaoni made we might find a way out, a real long shot but it was the best I could do right now.
By the time we reached the hole and I jumped in Tuck had thrown just about every one of Katrina’s men all over the little clearing we were in. Some where very clearly dead but some where rolling around and groaning. Katrina was still standing though, just before I fell deep enough into the hole I got a quick glance at her as she took aim at Tuck who seemed to finally be feeling all the punishment he’d been taking.
I didn’t even have time to scream a warning before my feet hit the hard rock below me and everyone else fell in on top of me.
“Sorry… sorry”
Bianca squeaked out as she pulled herself out of the pile of bodies we’d become. Frank, Stein, and Bianca seemed alright but my ankle was definitely sprained, badly.
“Can you walk on that?”
Bianca asked, examining my ankle in the strange blue light that emanated from further down the chamber we’d fallen into.
“Maybe? Here can I just lean on you?…. yeah, yeah that’ll work.”
I told her, using her to pull myself to my feet and leaning on her for support.
“What are we looking for Keith?”
Frank wondered out loud, a little fear creeping in to his voice as he looked around the chamber.
“I’m not actually sure, I was hoping we’d find Shaoni down here, maybe a tunnel out.”
I grunted out honestly, still reeling form the pain shooting up from my ankle.
“Wait where’s Tuck?”
“If he didn’t make it down we have to assume the worst. We can’t afford to wait now.”
Stein answered, quickly and professionally like someones life wasn’t at stake.
“He never had to come out here for me! We can at least wait for him, give him a chance-”
Stein cut me off
“None of us had to come here for you! We knew the risks so did Tuck. If we wait here now his sacrifice means nothing!”
Stein yelled at me. He was right, none of them needed to be out here but I still didn’t like leaving someone behind. As Frank and stein trudged forward Bianca and I hesitated a bit.
“I don’t want to leave him either but Stein’s right. Just lean on me and lets keep moving, we can come back later and look for his…”
Bianca trailed off before she could say body but I got the message, and if Bianca was moving forward I really didn’t have much of a choice.
We didn’t have to go far to find Shaoni, her usual deerskin clothing was ripped and stained with blood in places. All in all she didn’t look as bad as I thought she would. The light we saw at the entrance was coming from her tattoos as every one glowed brightly with blue light. The same light glowed faintly from four Thunderbird totems placed in the corners of the huge room.
“Welcome to my nest.”
Shaoni said with a dry chuckle, extending her arms out to her sides before immediately clasping them back over a wound in her side.
“Shaoni, are you… are you going to be alright.”
I asked, but before I could get any sort of answer I was interrupted by snarky laughter and a cocking gun.
“Well thanks for leading me right to where I wanted to be Keith.”
Katrina remarked as she walked into the room.
Bianca’s eyes glowed that all to familiar blue but Katrina was a step ahead of her.
“Yeah I wouldn’t try that if I were you. Sure you could force me to walk right out of here but it’s going to take a second to break me, longer than it would take me to pull this trigger.”
Katrina responded with a sneer, turning the gun on Bianca. Bianca jumped back like a scared cat. Ducking under my arm and putting all my weight back on my sprained ankle.
“Wait Don’t!… Argh!”
I cried out at her just before I fell to the ground.
“Ok, ok just… don’t.”
Bianca conceded, putting her hands up and backing away as the blue glow faded from her eyes. When he saw what Katrina was doing Frank wrestled Stein’s gun out of his hands and pointed it straight at Katrina, finger trembling on the trigger.
“Don’t you dare hurt her!”
Frank shouted, face turning red with fury.
“Well thats cute…”
And with an earsplitting bang Katrina turned and shot Frank in the leg. He fell to his knees, dropping the gun he’d been holding as Stein scrambled to hold him up.
“Don’t get in my way, don’t threaten me, and I won’t have to hurt anyone. Now Shaoni, where were we?”
Katrina cooed with murder in her voice as she took a step forward. I tried to pull myself up to my feet, only succeeding in making a pitiful cry as I fell back down again. Bianca flinched towards me but backed up fast when Katrina’s gaze shot her way.
“Keith, you’re still alive? I don’t know how you keep getting mixed into things but you’ve gotta learn when to just give up. I was supposed to kill all of you down there after the third trial. I gave you an out and you just stuck around. Tell you what though, you can still walk away cause I feel bad you got dragged into this in the first place. I have no idea what she was thinking, roping you into this with no idea about the supernatural at all.”
Katrina addressed me, pointing over at Shaoni after helping me to my feet. It hurt to stand but I was getting used to the pain.
“Above everything else I was supposed to kill the Thunderbird and thats what I’m going to do, after that you all can walk out of here.”
Katrina took slow steps toward Shaoni who simply glared at her. She didn’t try to run though, something told me she was ready, no matter how the next few minutes played out. But I had one more trick up my sleeve as I limped over, putting myself in between Shaoni and Katrina.
“She just wants out of all this Katrina! You have to know about where she came from, everything she’s been through!”
I yelled through gritted teeth, biting back the white hot pain shooting up from my ankle.
“I know enough It’s sad sure, but everyone’s got a sad story these days. She’s been flying around taking out whole towns to use as havens for people who want to follow this ass backwards sense of justice she’s got. I don’t want to become that person who’s hunting down supernaturals like her no questions asked just because I was ordered to. But in this case she’s responsible for hundreds of deaths. The “accidents” that happen in those towns are all her fault, and not all of them are as nice as Eagles Peak. The kind of people a town outside of any real form of government or law attracts aren’t the people you want to be neighbors with. She’s got to die Keith, so do you if your going to try and stop me.”
Katrina explained as she stalked closer to me. I really didn’t want to do what I knew I had to do next but I couldn’t watch anyone else die today.
“Alright, I guess there’s no other way then, Shaoni I’ll take on your burden.”
The whole room exploded into a chorus of “what” in varying degrees of shock but my mind was made up. I turned to Shaoni as she asked,
“Are you sure Keith?”
“Yes.”
Before anyone could recover from the shock of what I was about to do she reached out and grabbed my hands. I took hold of her’s and she said something in a language I couldn’t hope to understand as my vision went white.
When I could see again I was… somewhere else. Lightning flashed intermittently overhead and a grassy field extended out forever around me. In front of me stood a misty grey form of a bird it was huge, easily twice the size of the form I’d seen Shaoni take. Through its shifting misty form I could see Shaoni. The bird seemed to be talking to her but I couldn’t make anything out, I could only guess it was a Thunderbird spirit. It seemed to nod to Shaoni before it turned to me and stared me dead in the eyes. Its beak didn’t move, actually no part of it moved but I still heard its voice in my head as its eyes continued to boar into me.
“My chosen, Justice, claims she has lost her way, is this true?”
I couldn’t begin to describe how this voice sounded, powerful is the only word that came to mind. I didn’t feel like I was in any danger though, in fact I felt calmer than I ever had.
“She has.”
I got the sense that quick simple answers were probably best here.
“Justice spoke very highly of you. You offered to succeed her if she is to be believed.”
“I did, but how exactly do we-”
But I was cut off with a bow from the spirit who evaporated all around me. My vision blurred and everything went white again as I collapsed into the soft grass.
I came to on the floor next to Shaoni, it couldn’t have been that much later because neither of us had any new bullet holes in us.
“What did you just do?”
Katrina asked standing above me and looking absolutely stupefied.
“The Thunderbird is dead.”
Was my simple, potentially completely bullshit answer. Katrina looked from me to Shaoni and back again, eyes growing wide as the realization dawned on her.
“You know what? That works for me, just don’t cause us any trouble and we can just forget this whole thing ever happened. Oh, I like the new eyes by the way.”
With that Katrina walked off and climbed a rope ladder she had attached to the ground outside the hole we fell through.
Everything else that happened was a blur, we went back out and found pretty much all of Katrina’s men dead. Tuck was shot several times and barley breathing when Shaoni of all people found him. She called us over and Stein assured us he’d be alright if we got him back to the lab soon. We carried Tuck’s hairy form over to one of the SUV’s and raced back into town. On the way we drove past Katrina who’d also taken one of the SUV’s and was heading out of town. Bianca made a comment at some point that I looked different. When we got back to the house I looked in a mirror and saw my eyes where the same shade of grey Shaoni’s had been.
Speaking of Shaoni we took her with us, she followed us over to the car after she found Tuck. She looked a bit like a lost puppy at that point if I’m honest. I guess finally being able to live your life free of some strange sense of duty after hundreds of years will do that to you. Shaoni hasn’t actually said much since we settled back in at Bianca’s house. She eats and goes through the motions of normal life, she’ll even shoot you a warm smile if she catches you staring at her. I’m still not used to seeing her with green eyes though. I think she just feels lost but I’m ready to help show her the ins and outs of normal-ish life when she’s ready to ask for help.
Frank and Stein went back to doing their normal experimenting pretty fast. The whole thing past them by like a particularly eventful weekend. Even Frank’s bullet wound was quickly forgotten about. Pretty much as soon as he treated it it was like it never even happened to him. Tuck got back on his feet with a lot of help from Frank and Stein. He walks with a permanent limp now but other than that he’s fine. Richelle just about had a conniption when we told her what happened and she hasn’t left Tuck’s side since. She seemed surprised when we described his transformation and we came to find out he never told her about his, “Condition”. That may be why they’ve been so inseparable lately, she just wants to help him however she can and he sure isn’t complaining about that.
Tuck and Shaoni have been getting along as well. I never thought I’d see the day those two sat down and just talked but after a tense first few weeks they came to an understanding. They aren’t old friends now by any means but I’ve walked in on them both talking about their pasts. Maybe sharing stories helps them deal with living such long lives.
As for me and Bianca we started dating and thats been… well that’s been just great. I think its good for both of us cause after everything that happened at the old mine I was just a bundle of nerves. Having someone like her to talk to, someone who gets it, who’s seen so much worse helps put things in perspective. She finally has someone to really talk to in town too. Theres not a whole lot of trouble for us to get up to but we’ve started making a habit of pouring over Frank and Stein’s notes on the supernatural. Not the most riveting idea for a night in but I like learning more about whats really out there.
I still don’t feel any different after taking on Shaoni’s “burden”. Maybe that sense of duty she felt really was just all in her head, a promise to her people that she never let go. Honestly I haven’t tried to use whatever powers might come with my own condition. I just don’t feel like I need to. Like I told Katrina, the Thunderbird is dead. I’m sure not going to be the next Shaoni or anything like that but maybe It’ll help us find Brooke.
Thats the one thing that keeps Bianca and I up at night, we never found Brooke’s body. The two of us went up to the old mine a week or so after everything happened to look around for any sign of him but we didn’t find a trace. In fact the whole thing was cleaned up and the entrance to the mine was collapsed. I’m willing to bet whoever Katrina works for came back to try and wipe away any traces they may have left here. Maybe they found Brooke out there and dealt with him themselves, maybe he’s still out there somewhere. But for now everything’s been pretty calm, even normal around here.
Rocco is still a menace, Tuck still leaves the Eagle’s Roost door unlocked at all hours of the day, and theres still next to no people living here. Without Shaoni and her trials looming over me life is actually pretty good here. So that’s my story, how a storm and a huge bird dragged me halfway across the country and I started dating a succubus…right after I became the Thunderbird. It still seems crazy when I say it like that. Maybe I’ll dig up something on Brooke but for now I think I’ve finally found my new normal out here in the curiously named town with no Eagles and no Peaks.