I’m finally committing to an idea I’ve had since I was, like, 15 and trying to plan it all out, but the trouble is I just cannot come up with two names for my main female protagonists that sound like they could be the actual names of two friends. I thought I had it downpat about a month ago but then I realised that both of their first names and last names have two syllables each and the last names very similar in style and popularity (not going to reveal their character names: but think Ava Graham and Teddy Ellis). I just didn’t seem genuine to me, if that makes sense… I mean, who is best friends with someone who has the EXACT same amount of syllables in both their names + both have a last name that could double as a popular baby name from the 1930s? I’ve tried switching it up by choosing a names that are a lot less popular for my characters but I think I went too far in the opposite direction in that it was super distracting + it wasn’t very believable that two best friends would both have such an unpopular name and a reader just wouldn’t buy they could be real people (think Ava Javernick and Teddy Vinsonhaler - just comically unrealistic alias names).
I don’t want to give too much away, but my story is ultimately an LGBTQ+ romance grounded in realism, so my entire goal is to convince the reader that these could be two actual people with complex stories and personalities. However, I feel like I’m just not getting there even with something as fundamental as their names. Every time I try and come up with a last name and put them together, they just don’t seem believable.
I don’t want to confuse people with what I’m asking, so I’ll show you guys an list of character names from a single piece of media (Driven, the terrible Sylvester Stallone racing movie) that don’t sound real when you put them together to demonstrate what I’m trying to avoid:

• Joe Tanto
• Carl Henry
• James Rowan
• Beau Brandenberg
• Cathy Moreno
• Sophia Simon

See how there’s nothing wrong with any of these names individually, but they just feel a little off and rushed when you put them all together? There’s three characters in a row with the EXACT same pattern of syllables in their names! There’s two characters in a group of only six with alliterated names!
Does anyone have any tips on coming up with names for your characters that your reader will buy as everyday names for a group of people?

Previous
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous

For my next project, I want to knit the Mt Auburn cardigan (https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/mt-auburn-cardigan). But I want to understand better what the pattern means when it references “ease”. The pattern says:
Finished Size 35.75 (40, 43.75, 47.5, 51.25)“ chest circumference, buttoned. Cardigan shown measures 43.75”; modeled with 5.25” of positive ease.
This size calls for 191 stitches in the body.
Does this mean that if I follow the pattern as written, the 43.75 inch size actually measures 49 (43.75+5.25) inches across the chest when buttoned? Or, do I need to add stitches to get to the size shown in the photos?
If it is the latter, how do I figure out how many stitches to add?

Can I sub ribbing on a neck, shoulders & bottom (basically all areas ribbing is used) for this pattern with double knitting? what would be some pros & cons? Note: pattern is using super bulky but I’m adjusting to more of a bulky weight.

We’ve been going back through old seasons, watching only the merryfields (bc what’s the point of watching anyone else, they’re all off the show now🤣) anyway, noticed a pretty hilarious pattern. In season 4 after Garrick & Roberta are very much official (already “trying for babies”🥴) & had been approved for the k1 visa & everything, but it seemed like Bert was dragging her feet, probably cause she has a brain, but she said it was cause her mom needed her at the time.
Anyway! Ick blurts out that DANNIELLE had decided during this time to continue looking for a third, that’s when she finds Leah & Leah flies out and we see how unhappy that makes Roberta. Dannielle makes the comment that Roberta’s very jealous but she’ll have to deal with it if she wants this life! As we know, Garrick kissing Leah & them continuing to search before Bert could even get acclimated ends up causing a big blowup fight & in the end was probably the straw that broke the camels back.
Fast forward to present time with Nathalia, things are pretty official & before she can even make it to the US, Dannielle magically meets a new “friend” who’s now a potential sister wife, Miriam. Dannielle says Nathalia is very unhappy about this & wants nothing to do with her until it gets serious which is basically the stance Roberta took. Idk if it would’ve been so glaringly similar to me if I hadn’t just watched that episode yesterday but literally Dannielle’s verbiage is the exact same. “We can’t just put our life on hold, we have to keep looking!” As we can see from the sneak peak of next weeks episode, this’ll most likely be the catalyst in ending their relationship.
At this point I’m waiting for a wink & a bow from Dannielle cause she’s orchestrating everything & she knows exactly what she’s doing 🤣 you guys should go back to season 4 & find the episode with Leah, it’s so identical it’s almost comical!

i (25 f) have been dating my gf (22 f) for almost a year now. we live together and things have been great.
she has a very close knit family. she’s extremely close to her twin and her parents. because of that, we have a lot of family time. i have a good time most of the time, but specifically her mom rubs me the wrong way sometimes. it’s become hard to attend family gatherings as they are almost every weekend and i feel like i don’t have time to recharge after being around her.
for example, we went to a dinner last weekend. they are hispanic and i am not, so i only know a bit of spanish. she made a whole scene pointing out how i don’t know the language and laughed about me to the waitress, right in front of me. i understood enough to know she was being mean. she then tried to not tip the waitress and told me to just pay the whole bill when i offered some cash to tip. she ended up paying it but she wasn’t happy that i immediately agreed and offered to pay.
the weekend before, she took her daughters to get their nails done and offered to bring me. i thanked her and said i already got mine done with my mom for a mother’s day gift. she cut me off and said “you’re white you have money.” i mean…i’m a teacher so i can pay my bills but i genuinely had to budget for these nails.
she’s constantly commenting on what i wear, expecting me to wear far more revealing things than i’m comfortable with. she made me change for a party once and i was crying in the bathroom. constantly threatening to take my gf away if we don’t include her “other baby.” (they’re 22). constantly twisting the truth to make her a victim (pretending like we didn’t ask her if she wanted food at a restaurant we stopped at for example).
my gf knows i feel this way and will stand up for me in the moment but nothing changes. we have to see her mom again this weekend and she says i don’t need to come with, but it’s celebrating her dads birthday and i want to be present.
if you don’t like your in laws, how do you balance being present for your partner and protecting your mental health?

My baby just turned 1 and has the most inconsistent wake up times and sleep.
Like I mentioned, he just turned 1 and his sleep has been inconsistent since about 9 months about. We have no idea what each night will be like or what time he’ll be awake for the day.
Sometimes he wakes once, sometimes twice, sometimes every hour. Sometimes it’s easy to get him back down, sometimes it’s a two hour process. Sometimes he sleeps all the way through the night.
And then wake up time is different every day. Sometimes it’s 530, or 545, or 615, or 630, or 645. Occasionally it’ll be earlier than 530 or later than 645. He’s not one to just hang out until we are ready to get him either. And bringing him into our bed does nothing because he becomes hyper.
Literally every day is different and we don’t know what to do.
We try to keep his days as consistent as possible. No matter what time he wakes, breakfast is still at 7am. And from there the day is consistent until bedtime at 630/7.
We’ve tried adjusting bedtime too. Doesn’t matter if we put him down earlier or later, the sleep pattern is the same.
So if anyone has had a similar situation and has any tips, please help me out lol.

Hi folks,
Longtime lurker and first-time poster here. I need a (relatively) unbiased perspective on something that happened last night with my girlfriend.
For context, things between us have been touch and go for the past two months. A combination of issues we had when we first started dating resurfacing and long-distance (she's been working out of the country since March but will be back in about ten days) has made it hard to soothe each other during such times.
Things yesterday were more than okay. Actually, they were great. The warmth that we had at the start of the year when she was still here was back. She was affectionate, loving, cracking jokes, smiling, laughing, etc. I felt great. We decided to prepare dinner together that night on FaceTime, and things were going stellar.
Until she was jokingly telling me to stop singing this one song that she hated and I told her "to relax" in a non-serious tone. I instantly went, "Oh shit haha I'm so sorry, don't take my head off," because I remembered how she hates it when someone tells her to "relax." She clapped back, saying, "Haha don't tell me to relax, I'll fucking punch you in the face." And that is when I got pissed. I replied by saying "Lol I'd like to see you try that." She replied by saying "What? Are you going to punch me back?" And I said, "Of course not, I'd never lay a finger on you. You just wouldn't see my face ever again after that." Everything went a downhill after that.
I'm a sensitive guy. I always have been. It is something that has caused me a lot of anguish in my previous relationship because I can very quickly get upset about small things. For some reason, I've always had an issue with this kind of language in relationships. Violence. Do I think my girlfriend would actually punch me in the face? Of course not. But for whatever reason, I've always been hyper-sensitive to this kind of talk. I also despise it when anyone goes for my face in a joking manner, whether it's some rough housing with my dad or my friends, or my significant other jokingly giving me a couple of taps on the face.
I've never been physically abused in my life. My parents never laid a hand on me. I've never been physically bullied, either. So I really don't know where this aversion to physical or verbal jokes of this kind comes from.
I got a little pissed. I didn't shout, scream, or throw a tantrum. But I was visibly upset. She asked me why I was so pissed since she was clearly joking and said she would never actually punch me. I said I don't like that kind of language being thrown around even as a joke, to which she said, "Who hurt you?"
She went on to say that if this triggered a soft spot because of something that happened to me, I should communicate that to her. But I can't expect her to understand that if I've never told her. I said nothing happened to me. I've never been physically abused, so there's no "trauma" underlying it. It's just something I don't enjoy. No need to overanalyze it.
That sentence kicked my anger up a few notches. I guess reflecting on it, it felt invalidating. It frustrated me. I said, "Who hurt me? Do you really want to take it there? Is that how you want to handle this?"
I was pretty sure I knew why that sentence hurt me. I was in an emotionally abusive, toxic relationship for five years with a borderline narcississt. My girlfriend knows this. She knows how bad it was. And I guess the crass nature of the 'who hurt you?' comment reminded me of a time earlier in my relationship with my current girlfriend where we were having an argument and she said, "Do I have to treat you like shit to have you?" Which was a clear reference to my previous relationship. She has since apologized for that comment, after I told her how profoundly invalidating and wrong it is to say something like that.
The thing is. My girlfriend has a tendency to say things that come off as rude, hurtful, or invalidating when she's upset. And I think this whole situation triggered that fight or flight response after the 'Who hurt you?' debacle.
Back to the current issue....
I was flooded, so I told her I'd call her back after I've cooled off. I took five minutes to relax and then called her back. I apologized for my "overreaction" to her joke and explained to her that generally, I don't enjoy these kinds of jokes.
She went on to say that she finds me getting upset at something like this, to the degree that I did get upset, "kind of ridiculous."
I told her I understand. I said it was unfair to get roused up like that. I told her it's all water under the bridge now and I know she didn't mean anything she said seriously. I reiterated that I don't appreciate these kinds of jokes and that I don't think it's a big ask not to make them in our relationship. She agreed.
After we spoke about it, I couldn't shake the feeling that her telling me my reaction was "ridiculous" and me doubling down by saying it was "unfair" to her was, in reality, unfair to me, and invalidating for me.
Either way, it seemed like the damage was done, though. She was cold for the rest of the night while we watched something on Netflix. The jokey, smiling, sensual person that was there a few minutes ago was replaced by a cold, frustrated, avoidant person. Things were just lukewarm for the rest of the night. She was back to feeling super anxious about all the things we were going through and I was back to feeling like garbage. My anxiety was through the roof. My heart was beating like I was running away from a tiger. I felt sick to my stomach.
I wanted to beat myself up to a pulp. My internal monologue went straight into self-hatred mode. "Why are you like this? This is all your fault. Things were fine, but your sensitive, fragile ass just had to have a moment, right? You couldn't just enjoy the present moment. You couldn't take two seconds to calm your nervous system down before overreacting. Now she probably feels like she has to walk on eggshells around you. She probably thinks you're a baby. You're not a real man. A real man wouldn't throw a childish tantrum like this over a silly fucking joke. You just gave her the ick. You triggered her, and now she's anxious and feeling like crap, and so are you. You just can't have nice things, can you? You have to self-sabotage, don't you?"
I didn't give into the monologue. I took ten minutes to record a voice note to myself, speaking to myself as though I was a friend. I told myself that while I may have overreacted, I did the right thing by taking accountability and apologizing. I also reminded myself that what I had done was far from a "tantrum." I didn't scream, shout, break stuff, or name-call. I didn't blame her, hold it against her for the rest of the night, or stonewall.
The issue that I am dealing with and have always dealt with in these situations is the intense feelings of shame and guilt that come about after these moments. In addition, I feel like I can never truly validate my feelings. Sure, I recorded that voice note as an exercise to try to rewire that awful, abusive self-talk in my head, but I still felt like the whole situation was entirely my fault. I still sort of blame myself for how she is feeling now. I blame myself for disrupting a moment of peace and well-being in our relationship. And I also know that I am prone to self-sabotage, so that makes it even more difficult to find the middle ground between taking responsibility for my actions and validating my feelings.
Was I being extra? Was I really overreacting? Is my insecure attachment causing me to overanalyze or interpret my girlfriend's actions after the initial episode I had? Did she really invalidate how I was feeling by asking the "who hurt you?" question in a somewhat sarcastic way as well as telling me that it was ridiculous of me to get angry at such a thing? Was I really being unfair to her by reacting how I did? Is my nervous system just picking up on a pattern of invalidating behaviour and the anger after the 'who hurt you?' comment is a natural reaction to that? It is the morning after that situation, and I am feeling rather distant towards her. I feel almost sick in my stomach. As though I'm seeing a side to her that I shouldn't ignore. But again, I think as people with insecure attachments we have this tendency to either put people on an insane pedestal to which they will inevitably fall short of or label any behaviour as a 'red flag'.
I'm not looking for a pity party. I want honest opinions, please. If I was really in the wrong, I want to hear that perspective.
EDIT: I left this part out for the sake of brevity but I thought I should include this to give a more accurate account of what led to my outburst. When she said, "I'll punch you in the face", I replied by saying "Lol I'd like to see you try that." She replied by saying "What? Are you going to punch me back?" And I said, "Of course not, I'd never lay a finger on you. You just wouldn't see my face ever again after that." Everything went a downhill after that.
TL;DR:
Things have been touch and go with my girlfriend due to resurfacing issues and long-distance challenges. Last night on FaceTime, she joked about punching me in the face, which upset me as I'm sensitive to violent language. I expressed my discomfort, and she responded with a sarcastic "who hurt you?" This reminded me of a past abusive relationship. I took a break to calm down and apologized, but she called my reaction "ridiculous." She became cold afterward, making me anxious and self-critical. Now, I feel conflicted, wondering if my reaction was an overreaction or if her responses were invalidating. Am I overanalyzing due to my insecure attachment style, or is this a red flag? Seeking honest opinions.

So I (34f) am autistic, just to get that out there as to why I'm not sure if I would be TA or not (situations like this for me are... Awkward), and I am really heavily craft oriented (for example, I make my own knitting and crochet patterns, dye and spin my own yarn, and work with polymer clay, too).
This is relevant because my cousin's husband (40m, we'll call him Gary) has said that he will make the things I need. To be specific, I've asked for three things: for the inside of a knitting implement to be sanded down as it was catching and damaging my yarn (requested two years ago), a pair of hackle (wool) combs (requested last September), and top whorl drop spindles (getting on for a month ago now) made in a particular way so I can make them nice with polymer clay and sell them on (I have made it clear that I would be more than happy to pay for everything, too).
None of them have been done. And when I asked him to make the spindles originally, he immediately decided he was going to make them out of aluminum because HE thought that would be better, even though I stated that I wanted them made out of wood.
Here's the thing: I live clear across the other side of town to most of my family. My gran and great aunt, who live next door to each other and are close to him and my cousin, regularly ask him to do jobs that actually do get done. I just kinda feel... Forgotten, I guess.
I should also say that they have a son who is severely on the spectrum. He needs a lot of help and care and I can understand that he comes first, but then I see other people's more recent jobs being completed regardless, so... Yeah.
So, context provided (hopefully), here's my question: WIBTA if I went onto Facebook, in the local groups that he and the rest of my family are also in, and asked if there was anyone local who's willing to help me? I'm tired of waiting for jobs to be done when others decide they will be (I.e. Never), and I need these things done. I've given up on the knitting implement completely at this point, but the combs and spindles are things I need so I can try and sell my handspun wool/beginner's spinning kits, so I can't give up on those.

My great grandma made a baby blanket for me when my mom was pregnant. She did that for all her kids, grandkids and then great-grandkids. I was the youngest until now. Great grandma would make it clear to the parents involved that the baby she made the blankets for should be considered the owners and it shouldn't be something they kept from us. So this is what always happened. I always had mine. My parents did try to take it from me a few times but great grandma stepped in each and every time. I loved mine because she had started experimenting with her knitting and my blanket is more unique than the rest and feels just a little more personal. I treasure it despite being a 17 year old guy. I treasure it more because great grandma died when I was 10 and I miss her like crazy.
So my parents couldn't have more kids for years. They tried for years and even did IVF when I was 7 but didn't have another kid from it. Their focus being so set on that, I always felt like I wasn't good enough. This is something extended family brought to their attention a few times. It was comments like "I just want a baby so bad, I can't imagine my life without a child" from my mom and comments from my dad like "we feel so incomplete without a baby" that would get family members to take notice. Those were some of the kinds of comments that left me feeling as I do. It was never "another baby" it was always "a baby" like I was invisible. They talked about having a baby being their biggest dream. It stung so much to have their life focus around that and they'd get so depressed about not having a baby. Great grandma, before she died, told them to be thankful for "the blessing" (aka me) and how they already had a baby and they were letting me grow up without them. It didn't change anything. And I did basically grow up without my parents. They have no idea who my friends are or what's going on in my life.
This was a surprise pregnancy and my parents are so excited. They did all the early tests to find out they're having a girl and they started shopping and all kinds of stuff for her. But then my mom got sad because great grandma isn't around to knit her a blanket too. So they told me they wanted mine. They didn't ask. They told me. And when I said no they grew angry. They said she deserves to have a blanket from great grandma and their baby needs one. I asked what I was and they said "an almost grown man". I left the blanket with my best friend because I was afraid my parents would search the house to find it. They were so pissed and they started doing the guilt trips saying my baby sister deserves better and how can I look at myself in the mirror knowing I don't want to share this with her. They told me it's like I don't even want her to exist or I hate her for something and she's not even born yet.
AITA?

The Scriptures seem to imply that the kingdom of God isn't exactly synonymous with what is called "the Church." The Church was a temporary eschatological community of believers that existed on earth in preparation of a kingdom where God Himself would reign, and said community had Christ reign over them in the meantime. The head of the Church was Christ, with the Father serving as his head (1 Cor. 11:3). The Scriptures teach that, when all Christ's enemies were to be made his footstool, he was to give back all authority to the Father (Psa. 110:1, 1 Cor. 15:22-28), and it is this page's belief that this happened in 70 AD.
The following quotation is from the above hyperlink:

As for the "1000 years" mentioned in Revelation, they are apocalyptic metaphor for the 40 years Christ "reigned" (triumphed) over his enemies both human and spirit, with the final triumph being the judgement of apostate Jerusalem. The "1000 years" began with his ascension, and ended with this judgement.

Thus, the community to replace the Church on earth was to be the kingdom of God. But, what even is the kingdom of God, and why did God have to reclaim authority of His own creation in the first place?
To be as succinct as possible: man sinned, and so the great level of authority God initially granted us ourselves over the creation was stripped. As a result, the human condition has suffered and it must be redeemed for God to allow us to reign with Him in the way that He originally intended for us. God has always been sovereign, of course, but He seeks the good of man to make us stewards over His world with Him, as that was His original plan and this was His original view of what a kingdom of His truly looks like: a kingdom characterized by man's love for Him and love for others.
A Biblical understanding of Adam's sin, contrary to popular thought, isn't that we are guilty of what he did personally. We simply inherit his fallen nature and a fallen world as a result of his sin, the same way a baby could leave the womb already addicted to certain substances because the mother abused said substances while pregnant. It's not the baby's fault for its condition, it was the parent's. But the baby is born with this condition and enters the world like this nonetheless.
The implication of this is that we are all only guilty of our own sins, and whether or not we ever seek to treat (or possibly cure) our condition in the first place is on us. We were dealt a bad hand due to Adam, sure, but God doesn't hold us responsible for what our forefather did. God only holds us responsible for what we do, and whether or not we seek to be liberated from the dark forces which keep us in bondage to our sinful condition (Gen. 4:6-7, Deut. 24:16, Jer. 31:30, Ezek. 18, Matt. 9:9-13).
The whole Old Testament is essentially a record of God's people constantly breaking their covenant(s) with Him. There are individuals mentioned throughout that were, of course, commended by God and the Biblical authors for their righteousness in honestly pursuing to remain faithful to their covenant with Him. But even the best of these people often faltered and, in fact, did rather heinous things in their lives at one point or another. One of the greatest examples of this is king David, who was literally called by the Scriptures "a man after God's own heart" (1 Sam. 13:14, Acts 13:22). Yet, this same man at one point committed adultery and then murdered the man he stole the wife of to try and cover it up. This was a heinous thing, and David repented of what he did with genuine sorrow and guilt toward God. God ultimately forgave him, but not without a heavy hand of chastisement and earthly consequences for his actions.
All throughout the Old Testament, you see various men of God who were deemed righteous, but these same men were usually shown to have some major flaw that prevented them from living a life that could be characterized as consistent obedience to the commandments to love God and love others as themselves. There is something deeply wrong with man's heart, according to the Bible. Something so wrong, in fact, that a whole prophecy had to be given that promised to address the issue of man's seeming incapability to accomplish fulfilling the commandment to love consistently on their own without some sort of divine help from above:

"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."-Ezekiel 36:26

Naturalistic philosophies see the physical world as all that exists. Humans beings are the result of mindless, chance causes and processes. Humans are essentially animals – highly evolved, but no different in significance than any other living thing. Thus naturalistic views demote humans. But this view leaves a lot unexplained. Why do humans practice altruism, benevolence, or acts of heroism? And what explains acts of incredible evil? Sure, naturalistic arguments have been made that true altruism doesn't exist, and that "unconditional love" is really just an illusion that's been disguised very well by our survival instincts that we've developed over a long period of time at certain stages of our evolutionary process. However, many people have found such arguments to be unpersuasive and naive when compared to their actual experience of the world as they mature in their lives and have what they know to be truly meaningful experiences that can't simply be reduced in the way that the naturalist wishes them to be. This realization was ultimately why I transitioned from hard atheism to agnostic spiritualism at one point or another.
On the other extreme of these things, transcendental worldviews and philosophies say that the physical world is illusory. Only the spiritual world is ultimately real. Humans are an expression of the divine spirit that is the essence of all things. If naturalistic views demote humans to the level of animals, transcendental views promote human beings. God is not “out there” somewhere; we are God. God is all, thus God is us. But this view doesn’t explain real evil. Why are people selfish? Why do they hurt others? What accounts for personal acts of evil like rape or terrorism? If we are all truly "God," then why would we ever do such things to what is ultimately "ourself"? And why can't a person who practices the belief that we are all actually "God" be only loving? There are so many people who adopt this view of reality who are constantly, day by day, finding that they struggle to be as truly loving as they wish to be because they will still sometimes find themselves thinking and doing rather evil and selfish things. I can speak from experience here, remembering throwing myself into the New Age movement when I was desperately seeking what I did not know at the time was forgiveness for and redemption from my sins because of who I was as a person up until that point. I was seeking the mythic "ego death" that promised me that I could truly be loving and find the forgiveness and redemption I was searching for, because I thought that if only I truly realized I was "God" all along, I could then accomplish these things all at once and simultaneously. I eventually found even this philosophy unsatisfactory when I came to the aforementioned conclusions concerning our great capacity for evil, and also realized that forgiveness can only exist if there are two parties: forgiver and forgivee. Such a thing is impossible if there is only really one being at play at the bottom of reality, and I knew deep down that forgiving oneself (at least, on its own) will never satisfy one's pursuit for redemption that we all inherently take part in whenever pursuing to mend even our own relationships with each other as humans. Further, love would be an illusion in this philosophy too, being that there is only really one party behind and in all of existence if "everything is God." Such an idea would make true altruism a farce, as well. There would be no such thing as real sacrifice for another, because there is no "another."
The French mathematician and Christian philosopher Blaise Pascal said, “Man’s greatness and wretchedness are so evident that the true religion must necessarily teach both.” Any philosophy that cannot fully account for human greatness and human depravity at the same time should be abandoned because it misses something obvious about the human condition. The religion of the Bible has a valid explanation for human greatness: people are made in God’s image. Thus we have dignity, value, and capacity for good. The Bible also explains human evil: the image of God has been defaced by sin. Our great capacity gets used for the wrong purposes. Our creativity is placed in the service of evil and our best intentions twisted for selfish gain. Something has gone terribly wrong. While other worldviews unduly demote or promote humanity, the Bible gets the tension just right.
Thus, human nature is puzzling and conflicting. Other worldviews—both secular and religious—struggle to account for this enigma, and don't offer satisfying solutions to the problem itself. The Bible, however, explains what happened when it tells us that man rebelled against God in the paradise that was prepared for him called "the Garden of Eden." We fell into temptation and estranged ourselves from God by tarnishing the image we were created in, and now are born with a natural proclivity to do evil, despite our best efforts to do good (that is, to do good consistently).
And so, the Bible promised a solution in the prophet Ezekiel that God will literally change our natural human condition, if we simply choose to humble ourselves before Him in faith to allow for such a change. While as unbelievers our inner disposition towards God is often rebellious, we at least still have the capacity to choose to do the righteous thing in seeking God that He may change us and forgive us if we so let Him. This is one reason why Jesus, (the one who made the fulfillment of Ezekiel's prophecy even possible by his coming, sacrifice, ressurection, and outpouring of the Spirit upon his ascension), said that only faith the size of a mustard seed was required for something so miraculous as moving a mountian to happen, because so little is required from us to allow God to change us into the kind of person He's always wanted us to be, and yet changing the condition of our own heart can be compared to literally moving a mountain if we were to try and do so on our own strength alone. The mustard seed was the smallest of seeds, and yet if one simply planted it and nurtured it, it could become a bush so large that it was comparable to a tree with branches that stretched to the heavens for the very birds of the air to rest on.
It was when I came to these realizations that I prayed to God for the first time again, having been years since I did so, going so far back as to when I was a little child even. I prayed in the dead of night in my room, and asked God to show me the truth and to reveal Himself to me if indeed these things were true, and in an instant I felt His very presence in my room, and my heart was changed. To describe such an experience would be like trying to describe the taste of something to the man born without tastebuds, the color of something to the man born blind, or the sound of something to the man born deaf; there are no words, and it is only something you can know by experiencing it for yourself. Suddenly and all at once, I knew right then and there that Jesus really was who he said he was, that the one true God is the God of the Bible, and that I have been forgiven. As the time of this post, it's been 5 years since then, I'm 23 now, and I'm still walking with God.
My prayer for anyone reading this that may not know God for themselves yet is that one day, you will too.
Back to the topic at hand.
When Adam sinned, we fell under the tyranny of death, corruption, evil heavenly powers, and sin itself. When Jesus came, Jesus was the new and exalted human, the new Adam, through whom humanity could now realize their original destiny that was laid out for them in the Garden of Eden. Because Jesus, being a man, obeyed unto death, he has defeated the powers which held us so long under bondage; we are now promised liberation so long as we simply place our faith in his sacrifice to wash us of our sins and receive the Spirit of God that is also promised to all who exercise this faith.
We often think of ‘the gospel’ as the part that brings the forgiveness of sins (and of course, that is part of the idea), but ‘gospel’ is the announcement that everything has changed in the coming of Jesus and it leads us to a new kind of living.
The gospel Jesus preached and the gospel the apostle Paul preached were different, in that Jesus preached of a kingdom where God reigns directly and with all His faithful subjects as participants in that reign. The gospel Paul preached was about the exaltation and reign of Christ, and because Christ reigned, the consummation of the kingdom of God with earth could now finally take place (Col. 1:12-13). This consummation was put on hold during Christ's "millennial" reign, which transpired between his ascension and his return. However, the consummation has come to full fruition since that return.
We will be arguing for some of these claims by pointing out how central the kingdom of God actually was to Jesus' earthly ministry and message, and demonstrate what Jesus taught about how it actually looks like.
The term 'kingdom' appears 53 times in 42 places in Matthew, 17 times in 13 places in Mark, and 41 times in 29 places in Luke. When the 'kingdom' is qualified, Luke always refers to the 'kingdom of God' (32 times) and Mark follows this pattern (14 times). Matthew, on the other hand, prefers the term "kingdom of heaven" (31 times), using the phrase to refer to the same idea "kingdom of God" only four times: 12:28, 19:24, 21:31, 43.
The Gospel of Luke records an event where Jesus responds to the population that lived near Simon Peter's house who believed in him after he had done his miraculous work there, but saw that he was leaving them:

"And when it was day, he departed and went into a desert place: and the people sought him, and came unto him, and stayed him, that he should not depart from them. And he said unto them, I must preach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore [i.e., for this pupose] am I sent." (vss. 42-43)

The Greek word euangelion is often translated as the word “gospel.” In the Bible, this word is always used whenever it concerns the announcement of the reign of a new king. And in the New Testament, the Gospels themselves use this word or the phrase "good news" to summarize all of Jesus’ teachings. They say he went about “preaching the gospel [good news] of the kingdom [of God]” (Matt. 4:23).
There’s this beautiful poem in the Old Testament, and it’s in chapter 52 of the Book of Isaiah. The city of Jerusalem had just been destroyed by Babylon, a great kingdom in the North. Many of the inhabitants of the city have been sent away into exile, but a few remained in the city, and they’re left wondering, "What happened? Has our God abandoned us?" This was because Jerusalem was supposed to be the city where God would reign over the world to bring peace and blessing to everyone.
Now, Isaiah had been saying that Jerusalem’s destruction was a mess of Israel’s own making. They had turned away from their God, become corrupt, and so their city and their temple were destroyed. Everything seemed lost. But the poem goes on. There is a watchman on the city walls, and far out on the hills we see a messenger. He’s running towards the city. He’s running and he’s shouting, “Good news!” And Isaiah says, “How beautiful are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings [news]” (vs. 7a). The feet are beautiful because they’re carrying a beautiful message. And what’s the message? That despite Jerusalem’s destruction, Israel’s God still reigns as king, and that God's presence is going to one day return with His city, take up His throne, and bring peace. And the watchmen sing for joy because of the good news that their God still reigns (vs. 10).
Jesus saw himself as the messenger bringing the news that God reigns. Jesus also claimed to be the Son of man. This was Jesus' favorite self-designation, being used some 80 times in the Gospels. Notice, not just a son of man, but the Son of Man. Jesus was directing our attention to a vision described by the prophet Daniel:

"I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him:"-Daniel 7:13-14a

At Jesus' trial, the Jewish high priest accused Jesus: "Art thou the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed [God]?" His answer left no room for doubt. "I am: and ye shall see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven." (Mark 14:61-62). Because Jesus' was rejected and killed for threatening the power the religious authorities had over the people, the consummation of God's kingdom with earth had been put on hold until all of Christ's enemies would be put under his feet after his ressurection and ascension.
But again, what is the kingdom of God? What does it look like exactly?
Well, the way that Jesus described God’s reign surprised everybody. I mean, think about it. A powerful, successful kingdom needs to be strong, able to impose its will, and able to defeat its enemies in physical combat. But Jesus said the greatest person in God’s kingdom was the weakest, the one who loves and who serves the poor (Matt. 23:11-12). He said you live under God’s reign when you respond to evil by loving your enemies, and forgiving them, and seeking peace (Matt. 5). To us, this is an upside-down kingdom. But to God, it's right-side up. This was what God had originally planned for us: a kingdom where God reigns in our hearts.

"Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."-John 3:3

Jesus was being quite literal here. You can’t see the kingdom until you’re born again and have the life of that kingdom. When you’re born again, you start 'seeing' differently. You see what others don’t see, you hear what others don’t hear, you know what others don’t know. And yet you may be physically in the same earthly location as they.
The kingdom of God is the totality of God’s influence that covers the world and heaven. It’s everywhere, but its manifestation isn’t everywhere. It manifests on earth wherever there are those who are born again and live as if God reigns in their hearts.
Before Jesus, John the Baptist announced to all people, “The kingdom of heaven is at hand!” (Matt. 3:1-2), as he saw a soon coming kingdom of God that would be ushered in by the Messiah. Notice that John the Baptist didn’t say that something “like” the kingdom would come and he didn’t say that the real kingdom might be thousands of years away. He said over and over that THE kingdom was at hand! Do you believe him? Did God inspire him to give a clear and accurate message or a mistaken one? If we dare to believe him, things might become surprisingly clear, simple and exceedingly optimistic.

"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."-Matthew 6:10

Jesus taught his followers of his generation to pray that God's kingdom come and that His will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Why pray for something that will just inevitably come by force, unless it was actually through our willing participation? That is, unless God's will is carried out through us "in earth, as it is in heaven"?

"Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel."-Mark 1:14-15

It's very telling that these are the very first words the Gospel of Mark chooses to record Jesus as saying.
The kingdom is NOT something to wait for. Jesus says the kingdom is NOT something visible, and it is NOT something in the sky. The Kingdom Jesus taught is a spiritual reality that comes into the world through us. Considering that Jesus even said the kingdom was in and among the Pharisees in Luke 17, which seems almost offensive to consider, perhaps it is like a spiritual seed that has been planted inside each of us, and that activating faith in God makes it grow.

"Then said he, Unto what is the kingdom of God like? and whereunto shall I resemble it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and cast into his garden; and it grew, and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it."-Luke 13:18-19

Jesus talked about the kingdom as if it would be a present reality, yet one that was growing in the world like a seed grows into a tree.

"And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God? It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened."-Luke 13:20-21

To Jesus, the kingdom was something growing in us like yeast through dough, increasing in effectiveness.

"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost."-Romans 14:17
"For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power."-1 Corinthians 4:20

Paul says the kingdom isn’t something you taste or touch like physical food. It’s not even saying the right words. But rather the kingdom comes in the realities of righteousness, peace, joy and power that flavor our lives when we live empowered by the Spirit of God and God's Spirit in us.
Since Jesus the Messiah returned only 40 years after his earthly ministry, putting all enemies under his feet, the complete consummation of earth with the kingdom of heaven has finally taken place.
The kingdom of God has come, and it continues to come through us as believers. It makes progress like light shining into the world and dispelling the darkness.

"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."-Matthew 5:14-16

[ lengthy post ahead ]
Hello Be*, idk if you’ll ever see this but I’ll send it anyway. We met once at his birthday celebration. When we were still together. With the cheater I know he is, I knew he was eyeing for you since you are attractive. Without a doubt, I was mesmerized by your beauty as well, and I saw that as a chance to finally end that relationship. I joked with you pa nga "Gusto mo sa’yo na lang (ex ko)? Toxic naman yan e." That was true, yet I wasn’t wrong though. You ended up dating and even having a baby.
Fast forward to now, I came across your tiktok account, and there were no posts from you, just reposts from other accounts explaining the situation you were having—Cheating, living with a narcissist-pathological liar, and being emotionally, verbally, and mentally abused. I feel so sorry for you since I have experienced all you are going through. Don't get me wrong, I don't pity you; it's just that I wish you knew that I went through everything he made you feel while we were together. He was disrespectful to my parents and his mom, always came to our house at the middle of the night, intoxicated, and I was always afraid of what he would do if I did not accompany him because he had anger issues. The reason why I experienced trauma bonding with him. Idk, if he shared this with you, but we also had a baby.
That was our difference. You chose motherhood, I didn't. When I found out I was pregnant with him, we weren’t talking for a while (our whole rs was like that, on & off). Still informed him about it, and when he found out? he told me, "Mag-PT ka ulit, baka niloloko mo lang ako para bumalik ako." (ew) but I was afraid back then, so I did in front of him kasi akala ko gusto niya. I thought having a baby with him would change him, but it didn't. He still cheated on me despite knowing the fact that I was pregnant, so I decided not to continue my pregnancy because I had so many ambitions and couldn't risk them for someone who is incapable of loving. That includes both of us. I wasn't ready, and I couldn't imagine him being a good father to my child, nor could I because I didn't know how to love myself. Before that decision was made, a lot of “fixing” happened, I begged him several times, cried, and was still called insane while going through pregnancy just bc I was asking for assurance..
When I finally decided that there were no hopes for us, I finally blocked him everywhere and he was calling me thru his mom’s phone number— It was chaotic, and the only thing on my mind at the moment was that I needed to get rid of 'this' because my kid did not deserve what he was about to see, if he made it. I went to the OB alone and was terrified. I took three f*king PTs, and they were all as clear as water, indicating "positive". However, when they were checking up on me, the physicians informed me that they had trouble finding the baby's heartbeat. Yes, it was ectopic.
Am I a bad person if I felt relieved? Because I did. I was in anguish, too. I felt compelled to blame someone, and so I blamed it all on him. Ofc, he branded me "crazy" and had the audacity to say, "Kung di ka lang sana nag-isip nang nag-isip. Kasalanan mo yan!” After losing my kid, I never went back, but I still sobbed every fking day, wondering how in the world I could have met someone with no heart. I never even got an apology. Until December 202 (we were in no contact for 2 months, after losing my baby) he was following one of my best friends and saw me on her story, he sent my best friend a DM to introduce me to him again ‘para makabawi’ he said, I didn’t really understood what he meant by that, makabawi para sa nagawa niya? O para lokohin ulit ako? that’s when he began booty calling me again. I met with him while I was still in the process of moving on from everything and the trauma bond remained strong bc he told me he was sorry, that’s what I thought. I had no idea you were already with him at that moment, till the morning when he and I were still together, and saw that you were bomboarding his phone with messages and calls at 6 a.m. That’s when I knew. I saw myself in you. I went home feeling ashamed and disgusted with myself. Cried myself to sleep because I didn’t know anything, he fooled me once again. Worse, he made me his sidechick, something I wouldn’t even dream of becoming.
I’m sorry. I was about to confront you, but shame consumed me. I never intended to hurt another woman. But believe me, I never met him again despite of him sending me messages every now and then, despite the fact that I already blocked him everywhere & even changed my phone number, but still he asked where I was, if I was available, and anything else you can think of while you and him were together. The only thing I want from him is my money, which he owed me. Damn, I was so stupid.
But, anyhow, all I wanted to say was that while this may sound cliché, you did not deserve it, all the pain and self loathing. Scrolling over your reposts, I see you're also in pain because of your baby daddy. I am very sorry that you and your kid had to meet a monster. If you and him are still together and came across this, and the patterns remain the same. Do me a favor: get you your baby out of that boy's life because HE WILL NEVER MAN UP. I hope your find the strength to walk away because you don’t need someone who makes you feel unworthy of the right kind of love. You deserve a love you ought to give, and nothing less.
I assumed he told you about how I was the toxic one? Heck, I was. It's because he cheated on me several times, lied straight to my face after crying and running to me to come back over and over again, and still managed to hit up on girls while knowing I was pregnant. That’s what a narcissist does, I’ve had trust issues and anxiety as a result of him. In my perception, your existence was a blessing to me, it freed me from that situation. It was never easy, it really felt like I was going insane, bc how in the hell could someone do that to me— who had full of love in my heart, but shattered into pieces after offering a love that’s genuine. But I did, I was able to walk away and I hope you will too.
Girl, I sincerely hope that things will work out for you in the long run. Losing my angel, opened my eyes, and I pray it will do the same for you and your little one. I apologize if I also caused you pain. You deserve a love that is safe, calm, and at peace. Most of all, your baby do not deserve a father like that, you’ll both do fine on your own.
Please save yourself; no one will. I dodged a bullet, unaware that you would be the one to catch it. Please, just live even if it feels like dying; I promise you, it will be over shortly. Above all, prioritize your own well-being. We never deserved it; no one ever does. From woman to a woman, I am rooting for your healing, Mama. ❤️‍🩹

1. Select items for the apparel manufacturing business
Before launching a garment-making firm, it is critical to evaluate the local market's demand and purchasing trends. Talk to local consumers and sellers to identify any gaps that can be filled.
The garment manufacturing industry includes three key product groups. 1. Woven Garment, 2. Knit Garment, 3. Sweater Garment or Woolen Garment. Every category contains a diverse selection of products for men, women, and children. Products in the woven garment category include formal and informal shirts and pants. T-shirts, Polos, and other knit clothes are examples of items.
2.Create a business plan
It is critical to conduct extensive market research before developing a company plan. To begin, you must decide which product category you will be creating. Reduce the scope of your product profile as much as possible. Understand the industry and identify the key elements that influence the clothing industry. Calculate the fixed capital investment, including machinery and workspace costs, based on the estimated production demand.
3. Company registration and licenses
Choosing the appropriate business structure under which to manage your company is a critical decision. Depending on your resources, you can choose a business form such as a sole proprietorship, a limited liability company, a one person company, and so on.
4. Machinery for apparel manufacturing
You must select the appropriate manufacturing machinery for your goods. Apparel printing machines, fabric printing machines, t-shirt printing machines, various sewing machines, double-needle bar knitting machines, knit braiding machines, and so on are available. Choose the appropriate machinery based on your plan. Before placing the final order, double-check the warranty period and on-site training.
5. Learn basic apparel manufacturing process
The basic garment manufacturing steps are given below:
Design/sketch → pattern design → sample making → pattern production → grading → marker making → spreading → cutting → sewing / assembling → inspection → pressing/finishing → final inspection → packing → dispatch
6. Raw materials for garment manufacturing
The primary raw materials utilized in garment manufacturing are various types of high-quality textiles and fabrics. You will need various buttons and zippers depending on your needs. Check the raw material's quality before acquiring it. Talk to the sellers and buy the material from reputable sources at a reasonable price.
7. Create a sourcing plan
Garment manufacturing entails obtaining fabrics and materials from a textile manufacturer, cutting and stitching them into clothing materials, and then selling them. You must exercise caution when selecting items, purchasing equipment, setting up your company as a brand, and promoting your products in order to develop a successful garment manufacturing business. The better your designs, the fresher your ideas, and the better your chances of success.
8. Cost of starting an apparel manufacturing business
The investment necessary to start a clothing factory depends on the scale of manufacturing. However, a production area of 600 Sq. ft, and expenditure of roughly 20 lacs is a bare minimum to start a small-scale apparel manufacturing operation.
9. Hire manpower
Apparel production is a personnel-involved enterprise. The most crucial position is the designer. He or she actually performs the most vital duty in making the venture effective. Hire skilled and experienced labour only for senior roles.
10. Promote Your Garment Manufacturing Business
Economic conditions, demographic changes, and pricing all influence apparel sales. The garment sector has reached maturity and operates in a dynamic and competitive environment. A brand name is a significant tool in the development of the clothing business. Established brand names promote consumer loyalty, which results in recurring business. Choose a memorable connected to your clothing name for your business. Create a broad, strong distribution channel network.
Conclusion
Launching an apparel manufacturing business requires thorough market research, strategic planning, and acquiring the right machinery and raw materials. Focus on quality, skilled manpower, and effective branding to thrive in the competitive clothing industry. Radhekrishna Clothings offers branded shirts for wholesale retailers.

Probably my last episode for today. It’s the one that I feel gives us the least and most to talk about at the same time lol
-First point is First, baby Aegon (the rightful king!) is a cutie
-I have to admit I laughed when Daemon and Caraxes just landed on that Daemon stan at the beginning of the episode (sometimes I do have a dark humor). He clearly doesn’t care about the people to state the obvious
-I am sad that we just cut off from last episode where the marriage announcement was made with Alicent, to now where Alicent is already pregnant again. This is where we see all the cut scenes come into play in hindsight. We know a wedding scene of Viserys and Alicent was filmed and never used which is a shame. We still get the general gist of how this has affected everyone’s relationships, but still do feel they should have added that last episode. That’s a minor nitpick though
-We start seeing what the main conflict of this story is going to be. A scene that perfectly captures Viserys nonsensical approach and naivety to the whole matter is when Jason Lannister asks for Rhaenyra’s hand arguing among other things that since she will not be heir anymore most likely it would serve as a great compensation (you might want to tone down the charm blondie). Still Viserys just acts surprised like the thought that in a patriarchal society someone could even occur with the idea that firstborn would come first is beyond stupid, especially when you we’re literally chosen as king because of the realm’s preference towards a male heir! Even if you still support Rhaenyra as heir you don’t think you should have been prepared for such questions? Most blacks will answer “but they swore oaths Of fealty to her!”, ok and Otto puts it perfectly that was before Aegon was born. This is why I hate when people simplify the issue. It’s very complicated. It’s not just men vs women . Some people might argue a female shouldn’t inherit but her son should come before her younger brothers and descendants, Some argue an uncle should inherit before a daughter and others that a daughter should inherit before an uncle but still behind a son. The least you could have done is make the lords renew their vows after Aegon and other sons were born
-While on the subject, the scene with Viserys drunk while opening up to Alicent, explaining how he choose her as heir as a way to make up for Aemma, humanizes him but it just makes the story as always so frustrating. This wasn’t a father who saw his two kids grown up and then made a judgement based on temperament, this was a decision based on a whim to avoid Daemon being heir (which is later turned moot) and to make amends which the realm ended up paying for. As you can clearly tell we are already heading to the episodes that are frustrating for us.
-The Redwyne lady clearly questions the absurd war started by Daemon, and then Rhaenyra just insults and humiliates her. She is the lady to a Houses with one of the most powerful fleets, you don’t think it might be useful to have more tact and keep her in your good side. Some people will argue it’s just because she is young, but Alicent already shows a level headed maturity and sensibility when she defended Rhaenyra while still being respectful and considerate to lady Redwyne. This of course is only strike 2 of a pattern for Rhaenyra of just having no care towards lords she would need as important Allies
-The cgi was just a bit off at times like with the boar which looked odd (or maybe it was just me?)
-Daemon just beating the messenger who literally just brought him the message (arguably not even bad news) just shows how angry and impulsive and lack of control he has, and everything Otto warned about him is true. Like this war which was completely unnecessary and is a miracle it didn’t escalate earlier (in the book they show how the situation basically continued and the Dornish actually joined in on the side of the Triarchy)
Overall it’s a good episode in showcasing the characters and the what the real premise is about, it also is the first episode to showcase the flaws that will be associated with this season in regards to the timeskips and character development lost

Welcome to the weekly Questions thread. This is a place for all the small questions that you feel don't deserve its own thread. Also consider checking out our FAQ.
What belongs here? Well, that's up to each contributor to decide.
Troubleshooting, getting started, pattern questions, gift giving, circulars, casting on, where to shop, trading tips, particular techniques and shorthand, abbreviations and anything else are all welcome. Beginner questions and advanced questions are welcome too. Even the non knitter is welcome to comment!
This post, however, is not meant to replace anyone that wants to make their own post for a question.
As always, remember to use "reddiquette".
So, who has a question?