Dad birthday wishes

Me and my fiancé are having a baby due late September and we’ve been struggling with his name. He really wants to name our baby after his grandpa who he loved. The thing is I don’t like the name. It’s a very common simple name (Ben). It doesn’t sit right with me and i can’t picture giving our son a name we both can’t agree on. His dad also has the same name as his grandpa and I don’t particularly like his dad that much. He used to beat my fiancé when he was a child. He just isn’t a good man. His argument is that I already have a daughter (with my ex) and that this is his first child so I should let him name our baby. I think that’s a ridiculous thing to say considering I’m the one making him and should have a bit of say at least. I just wish we could both agree on a name but he’s stuck on his Granpa’s name. The worst part is that he’s already told his family about the name, even his grandma!! without me being there so they’re all stuck thinking we’re naming him after his grandpa. I feel as though he has no respect for me at all to even consider wanting to change the name and I’m at my wits end and just considering giving in and naming him after his grandpa so the arguing will end but it just doesn’t feel right.

Should I give up and move on? I don’t really know why I’m even asking the question because deep down I know the answer. At the end of last year I (23 M) was dating this girl (20 F). She studies in a different city so we didn’t see each other that much but we connected very well, and very soon I was starting to fall hard for her. After a few parties together we were spending the weekend together. This went very well and for the first time in my life I was in love. I have to tell you also that I have never been in a relationship before and I was a virgin. She knew this but didn’t make a big deal out of it which I loved. This weekend was a week before Christmas. We verbally agreed that we would see each other on new years evening.
When the day finally arrived I hadn’t heard from her so I texted her saying where we could meet that night. She responded with this long text saying that I’m a fun and sweet guy but that she would rather be alone than to date with someone. I was completely shocked and my world was shattered. I stared at my phone for a half hour. I did’t text anything back feeling a little bit angry, why would she sent this to me on new years eve? So that night, I got really really drunk. I was drinking away my sorrow. I went to a club and got home with some random girl and we had sex. Need I remind you again that it was my first time. When I woke up I felt sooo bad. I only wanted to be with the girl I was in love with and now I’m laying here with someone random. I made up an excuse on why she had to leave and texted the girl I’m in love with that I appreciated her honesty but that I didn’t understand why. She texted me later that evening that she didn’t really know what she was doing and that she wanted to meet again. I was happy but in the back of my mind I was thinking about what I did on new years eve.
So we went on dates again but I couldn’t get it over me to tell what happened because I just got her back and was too afraid to loose her again. You also have to know that I had 6 exams in this period so I had to study hard. On the 5th of january she spent the night at my place and we also had sex. After this I felt extremely guilty. I made a vow to myself that after the exams I should tell her. Because I really loved her and any chance I had of a real relationship with her should be based on honesty. So after my last exam on february the 5th I went to her place and I told her. She was really angry and told me it was for the best to go away.
In the days that followed I gave her space and didn’t text her. After a while I texted her but she said she wishes me the best but wants to move on and that she doesn’t want to see me anymore. After that there has been no contact. I saw her twice since then on parties. When I saw her she was nice and the connection was still there but she refuses to sit and talk with me. Last time I saw her was a month ago where we talked for a bit. She was acting really weird. Like super nice one moment and then the other moment really angry. Then she was ignoring me the whole time and when I got to her to tell her that I’m leaving she is back to being sweet and asking me to stay. What bugs her the most is that in her eyes I faked my virginity.
It now has been almost 4 months (longer than we were together) but there hasn’t been a day were I haven’t thought about her. I can’t seem to let her go. I am still hoping that everything will be alright but I know it won’t. I just love her so much and regret everything that has happened. I just don’t see myself ever dating anyone else but her. I know that if she was still interested she would just text me but every time I see her it just feels like there is something still there. When I see her friends they tell me that they don’t understand why she won’t take me back. That has to count for something right?
In august she is going to study abroad for the semester. So I know the timing is all wrong but I feel like I have to try one last time. I know I am going to see her 1 last time on this festival we bought tickets for together while we were still dating. A week before the festival it’s her birthday. I am thinking now maybe I should sent her flowers on her birthday with a cute text but I’m not really sure.
Am I just being delusional? I really don’t know what to do…. Sorry for the big text, for anyone that gets to the end thank you very much!

Should I give up and move on? I don’t really know why I’m even asking the question because deep down I know the answer. At the end of last year I (23 M) was dating this girl (20 F). She studies in a different city so we didn’t see each other that much but we connected very well, and very soon I was starting to fall hard for her. After a few parties together we were spending the weekend together. This went very well and for the first time in my life I was in love. I have to tell you also that I have never been in a relationship before and I was a virgin. She knew this but didn’t make a big deal out of it which I loved. This weekend was a week before Christmas. We verbally agreed that we would see each other on new years evening.
When the day finally arrived I hadn’t heard from her so I texted her saying where we could meet that night. She responded with this long text saying that I’m a fun and sweet guy but that she would rather be alone than to date with someone. I was completely shocked and my world was shattered. I stared at my phone for a half hour. I did’t text anything back feeling a little bit angry, why would she sent this to me on new years eve? So that night, I got really really drunk. I was drinking away my sorrow. I went to a club and got home with some random girl and we had sex. Need I remind you again that it was my first time. When I woke up I felt sooo bad. I only wanted to be with the girl I was in love with and now I’m laying here with someone random. I made up an excuse on why she had to leave and texted the girl I’m in love with that I appreciated her honesty but that I didn’t understand why. She texted me later that evening that she didn’t really know what she was doing and that she wanted to meet again. I was happy but in the back of my mind I was thinking about what I did on new years eve.
So we went on dates again but I couldn’t get it over me to tell what happened because I just got her back and was too afraid to loose her again. You also have to know that I had 6 exams in this period so I had to study hard. On the 5th of january she spent the night at my place and we also had sex. After this I felt extremely guilty. I made a vow to myself that after the exams I should tell her. Because I really loved her and any chance I had of a real relationship with her should be based on honesty. So after my last exam on february the 5th I went to her place and I told her. She was really angry and told me it was for the best to go away.
In the days that followed I gave her space and didn’t text her. After a while I texted her but she said she wishes me the best but wants to move on and that she doesn’t want to see me anymore. After that there has been no contact. I saw her twice since then on parties. When I saw her she was nice and the connection was still there but she refuses to sit and talk with me. Last time I saw her was a month ago where we talked for a bit. She was acting really weird. Like super nice one moment and then the other moment really angry. Then she was ignoring me the whole time and when I got to her to tell her that I’m leaving she is back to being sweet and asking me to stay. What bugs her the most is that in her eyes I faked my virginity.
It now has been almost 4 months (longer than we were together) but there hasn’t been a day were I haven’t thought about her. I can’t seem to let her go. I am still hoping that everything will be alright but I know it won’t. I just love her so much and regret everything that has happened. I just don’t see myself ever dating anyone else but her. I know that if she was still interested she would just text me but every time I see her it just feels like there is something still there. When I see her friends they tell me that they don’t understand why she won’t take me back. That has to count for something right?
In august she is going to study abroad for the semester. So I know the timing is all wrong but I feel like I have to try one last time. I know I am going to see her 1 last time on this festival we bought tickets for together while we were still dating. A week before the festival it’s her birthday. I am thinking now maybe I should sent her flowers on her birthday with a cute text but I’m not really sure.
Am I just being delusional? I really don’t know what to do…. Sorry for the big text, for anyone that gets to the end thank you very much!

i (25 f) have been dating my gf (22 f) for almost a year now. we live together and things have been great.
she has a very close knit family. she’s extremely close to her twin and her parents. because of that, we have a lot of family time. i have a good time most of the time, but specifically her mom rubs me the wrong way sometimes. it’s become hard to attend family gatherings as they are almost every weekend and i feel like i don’t have time to recharge after being around her.
for example, we went to a dinner last weekend. they are hispanic and i am not, so i only know a bit of spanish. she made a whole scene pointing out how i don’t know the language and laughed about me to the waitress, right in front of me. i understood enough to know she was being mean. she then tried to not tip the waitress and told me to just pay the whole bill when i offered some cash to tip. she ended up paying it but she wasn’t happy that i immediately agreed and offered to pay.
the weekend before, she took her daughters to get their nails done and offered to bring me. i thanked her and said i already got mine done with my mom for a mother’s day gift. she cut me off and said “you’re white you have money.” i mean…i’m a teacher so i can pay my bills but i genuinely had to budget for these nails.
she’s constantly commenting on what i wear, expecting me to wear far more revealing things than i’m comfortable with. she made me change for a party once and i was crying in the bathroom. constantly threatening to take my gf away if we don’t include her “other baby.” (they’re 22). constantly twisting the truth to make her a victim (pretending like we didn’t ask her if she wanted food at a restaurant we stopped at for example).
my gf knows i feel this way and will stand up for me in the moment but nothing changes. we have to see her mom again this weekend and she says i don’t need to come with, but it’s celebrating her dads birthday and i want to be present.
if you don’t like your in laws, how do you balance being present for your partner and protecting your mental health?

Anyone know how to hide these things?
Usually involves a really crappy AI Generated picture of some starving kid, or disabled kid, or a picture of Jesus fighting Satan, and I'm beyond fed up with seeing them.
I've blocked like 100 of these spam accounts, and have pushed "show less" more tines than I can count, but every other post is one of these stupid, like-skimming posts.
I use Facebook mostly for a handful of groups on an anonymous profile, so I haven't added any friends.
Can anyone help me out? This is driving me nuts.

I (24F) am having issues with my friend group over the man (31M) that I picked. I’ll have to provide the long background story for context.
My friend group consists of several individuals. The specific few I will talk about I will refer to as “J” “M” and “A.” They are all (24F). J and M are a couple. These girls seem to have the strongest opinion about the ordeal. I met my friends in middle/high school. We didn’t become close until our college years. I love these people and we’ve gone on many trips and shared many experiences together.
In early 2023, I was asked out by a guy who frequented my place of work. He had apparently noticed me for some time. It is quite rare for me to “date,” but something about him gave me the sense I could trust him. He gave off good vibes overall. We went on a date a few days later and discovered we have everything in common. EVERYTHING. From our morals, values, hobbies, childhood upbringing, family dilemmas, favorite foods, love for traveling, etc. we are the same person in two separate bodies. The date was such a success and I knew then in my gut that he was going to be someone special.
Unfortunately, our beginning took a turn. We initiated dates back and forth that fell through due to valid reasons dealing with weather, conflicting schedules, etc. During this break between dates, he took the time to think if he was ready to start a new relationship. Although he liked me a lot, he was a little unsure unbeknownst to me. He’d been in several relationships before and they ended with him getting hurt whether they ended on good or bad terms. He was getting cold feet and didn’t know how to communicate that to me. He didn’t want to officially end it and he also didn’t want to lead me on so he said nothing for awhile. Although it wasn’t necessarily thought out, he was buying himself time until he knew how he felt (I learned all this later on). Then came about a month with no contact. During this time, he was dealing with family drama and I was becoming anemic. I eventually did need a blood transfusion. I mention this because that month apart went by fast and we didn’t have much time to linger over the thought of each other. I did notice he hadn’t reached out though. I’m certain now that he wouldn’t have ignored my messages had I sent any, but I was honestly waiting for him to reach out first. I was a little hurt to think that he had changed his mind and didn’t have the guts to tell me.
Sometime in that next month, when I returned to work after my hospital stay, I saw him at my job. I thought he saw me. He left and said nothing. I was actually devastated. He had been so kind and I didn’t know why he had a change of heart. At least he should’ve told me about it anyway. I decided that I was going to text him that night. I mentioned I had seen him at work, thanked him for the initial first date, apologized for not reaching out on my end, and I sort of wished him farewell under the assumption he wasn’t interested. It was very professional and I let him know that there were no hard feelings had he changed his mind. I was expecting some lame, typical excuse response if I even got one. He sent back this long text message apologizing, explaining himself, and asking me questions. He explained his fears and asked if we could start a “friendship” of sorts to keep a slow pace. There was chemistry of course, but he was afraid of me and now I was afraid of him. There was enough there to where we wanted to spend time together, but I needed to be sure I could trust him with my feelings and he also needed to be sure he could trust me with his heart. To this, I agreed to see him again.
We spent time going on casual dates and talking a lot. He became my friend. We talked a lot about what happened with the break over the following months. I told him how hurt I was and how communication is important to me. He understands the impact of going no contact abruptly. It has been entirely resolved and I also take responsibility in my part of not reaching out to him either. Ever since the break, he became consistent. We’ve talked every single day since. He was patient with me and I was patient with him. We earned each other’s trust and are now madly in love. It happened slowly and quietly. I have never met such a soft, kind, understanding, sensitive man. I am more myself with him than I ever have been before. If soulmates are real, then he is mine.
Now to the tea. Of course, my friends knew (most) all of this. I told them about the big events as they were happening. They were excited for me on my first date, they sympathized with me when he no longer reached out, etc. They were surely surprised when I decided to spend time with him again. I asked them to trust me. I didn’t think he was a bad guy. What happened was a mistake. As my man and I spent more time, my friend J would reach out asking me questions about him. I told only her about my concerns in the beginning. Back then, I was guarded and nervous to proceed, but it was something I knew I had to do. I had to find out for sure what kind of person he was.
Now, J, she’s a fireball. I love that girl, but I’ll admit she’s one to hold a grudge, keep score, and quietly judge. She’d never admit it. I made a mistake in choosing her as my confidant in those early days. I was looking for advice when speaking to her because I do value her opinion. She then went and told the other friends in my group, M and A included, about my man—what a bad person he seems to be, using her words, which frankly, are very different from mine. What makes me mad is she got to tell them about him, not me. Not even any of the positives either. This was all before they had even met him and they already didn’t like him. They had no problem scolding me for being with him.
Months down the road, I arranged a meeting for everyone. My friends thought a bar would be a great place. Still not sure about that. It was awkward. Nobody talked more than a few words. My man was shy and my friends didn’t really do anything to make him feel welcome. I was the only one babbling all night it seems like. You’d think that as time goes on, it’d be different. More meetings will help everyone be comfortable. Nope. Every time after was awkward. They haven’t spoken more than a few words to him at a time. It’s very “surface level” talk even now—a year later.
My last birthday had come around and J, M, and A took me out for drinks. It turned into a lecture session about how I seriously need to break up with him. They scolded me on “allowing a man to waste my time.” They criticized his career choice, our age difference, his “character,” etc. Mind you, this is based off of this one mistake and a few other things that I mentioned to J in private that were no longer an issue. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking I was going to have to break up with him to please them.
Of course, I couldn’t. They still invite him to events and friend functions out of politeness, but it’s always the same. They don’t acknowledge him. It makes me especially sad when my man makes comments like, “I’ve never seen so many shy people in one room” (He thinks my friends are just shy when they’re really just ignoring him). He’s printed out their pictures for our scrapbook and labeled them as “new friends.” I haven’t told him the truth and I probably never will.
A few months ago, J, M, me, and my man had plans to go to this local indie concert. Tickets are free. The concert was on a Friday. The next day, Saturday, was scheduled for my man’s nephew’s 2nd Birthday Party. His brother’s family would be traveling from out of town to celebrate their son. Well, things didn’t go according to plan. The brother decided to come a day early, the day of the concert. I should have cancelled the concert date then when I learned this news, but I told J and M we were still coming because my man still wanted to go. We figured we’d be able to sneak away since the brother had come by himself and wanted to come over and take a nap since he works odd hours. Well, my man’s dad dropped by and the brother didn’t take his nap as he’d planned. Now, having company over with expectations, I made the difficult decision to cancel with my friends last minute. I realize it is rude, but something came up. I didn’t see how we could go anymore.
My friends let me have it. J and M were so angry. They told me how rude we were and how disrespectful it was to their time to opt out of the concert which was free and in town by the way. There was also the two of them and they could have easily gone on a date. I think it would’ve been equally rude to leave our company or rush them out the door. I picked my battle. I should have gave them more notice, but I didn’t know we weren’t going until the last minute. It couldn’t have happened any other way. We fought over text for awhile. She accused me of being so different now, saying and doing things out of the ordinary for me. The truth is, I’m just growing up. J ended the conversation saying, “Well, we’re just going to stay mad.” She claimed to understand my circumstance, but she didn’t. We didn’t talk for weeks after.
I eventually got invited to a breakfast date to which I declined. I have been avoiding all of them for awhile. I keep getting “I miss yous” from J. She keeps asking when we’re gonna hang out next. It’s also true that J and M are now moving 4 hours away at the end of the month. My problem may solve itself. That does sound awful though. I feel like an asshole. I have not been a good or present friend lately. I’m so busy, tired, and I have no room for petty drama. I’m not giving up my friends yet, but I will gladly choose this boy over them. He’s given me more peace in one year than they have in five years.
My boy and I are now engaged. I told my friends the news. They said some nice things I guess. J texted to let me know “If I’m really happy, she’ll support me.” This would be nicer if it was coming from a concerned friend. To me, this whole situation feels controlling. It’s more than concern. There’s venom behind it. They don’t care about the wedding either. They don’t ask me fun questions or get excited when it comes up. When I eventually explained how he proposed, they seemed disinterested. I could tell they were judging the experience. When I finally showed J the engagement ring in person all she said was, “Take it off” in a snippy tone so she could try it on.
I’m so disappointed in my friends. I always wanted a big friend group and especially to share this big milestone with. I haven’t even gotten excited about wedding planning because I’m dreading going over the bridesmaids list. Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening. I definitely need to get this off my chest and outta my life. I can’t believe I’m losing my friends over a boy.

Hello,
I have just moved over to universal credit after being on legacy benefits for 14 years.
I didn't have a savings account when I went on benefits but when I got it, I can't remember if I told them or not. I got it a couple yrs after I went on benefits.
When I went on universal credit I declared my savings account then, if not before.
I wasn't aware of this 6k lower limit. I had heard of the 16k limit. In the time I was on legacy benefits I don't recall anything being said. I have been in work for 9 years do haven't needed to go to job centre or been asked to send bank statements in.
I became aware of this 6k limit when I checked my payment section on universal credit. Because of deductions because I was slightly over 6k when I put the claim in. I was horrified because it turns out I have been over for at least 5 yrs up until just recently by about 2 or 3k.
I went over for certain during start of covid. I was under 6k in my savings in 2019 but not by much so there would have been wages in my current account so I may in total have been over since then. Looking at my accounts briefly, I was fine in 2018. I think it was more end of 2019 it may have started.
Then covid came and I didn't go on holiday or do much of anything even out of lockdowns for those 2 years so it was building up and with child maintenance payments especially. My daughter had a holiday booked in July 2020 with school which was refunded and money just wasn't getting spent. I'm a bad introvert on top so going out an awful lot isn't me.
Then start of 2022 I decided to get things sorted after being on hold because the house needed so much stuff replacing it was unreal. Plus, we wanted to go on holiday so I booked a caravan with haven for July 2022. I replaced a sofa around the same time and put a lump sum of 2k in to my daughters trust fund which I didn't get set up until end of 2021. I was putting money in my isa for that too to put some in to her trust fund but just hadn't got round to setting her trust fund up. I'm annoyed with myself that I didn't. This brought the isa savings down but about a month or 2 later I received an inheritance 4k and put it in my isa and it put me right over again by looks because i still had money in my isa after the holiday paid, sofa etc.
But in April 2022 it went downhil because I caught a virus that left me with long-term insomnia. I just put life on hold again trying to fix that, has tests, sleep apnea test which needs repeating. So money just started building up again. I was trying to get insomnia sorted with Dr while trying other stuff too with supplements but it is still an ongoing issue but it has took over my life this insomnia last 2 yrs.
I decided not to go on holiday last yr which didn't help because my mental health was effected and my dad started a bipolar episode in spring 2023 which resulted in him being sectioned for 5 months in June so I just decided to cancel that yr out on fully living it really. I was still buying stuff, trying to for house, but not enough.
It would mostly be child maintenance building up but I wish I was putting it in her trust fund. I just stopped after the lump sum and got caught up trying to fix my issue and my dad. After I while I wasn't even putting money in the isa. That has been under 6k for a couple yrs I think but was just sitting in current account instead. I needed to buy stuff. A bed, microwave but was indecisive on what ones to get and part not getting arse in gear. I started sorting it a few months ago so by time I went on uni it was much lower but slightly over the 6k.
But with my wages and uc going in from this week, I'm over 6k again will be again. My daughter has a private autism assessment booked in August as I was getting nowhere with nhs/cahms so that will bring it down by £900 then.
Now, I have told them on my journal that I've been over 6k for some years once I saw today. I've not heard back and accept there is a big overpayment ahead. I estimate I've been over average 2-3k for 5 years. But it was varying I think but it a rough idea. I told them I will use my savings to pay off what I can but I'm just worried I will be prosecuted. I'm stressing so much. I've not been in trouble with law before. I'm a rule follower and turns out I've got in to a right mess.

I have been talking with a girl in my college for 2 years and we both had a deep crush on each other, however this year(our graduation year), she started acting suddenly very distant, that was after I gave her a birthday gift (which I did Because she also gave me one on my birthday, so I just reciprocated the interest). Now she acts like she doesn't even acknowledge my existence.
I tried my best to get to know what happened and 'fix things' , but she always turned me down replying with one sentence. I know something may have happened that changed her mind or she 'got bored', and I respect her decisions although what she did is rude and she hurt me a little bit (we were literally couples but unofficially, and we both knew that. The circumstances we live in just didn't allow it to be official).
Long story short, the graduation day is not far away, and now that we don't talk to each other anymore, I don't want to end the year in the situation we are within because I know deep down we both still have little feelings for each other, and her existence had a positive effect on my life although she hurt me. And I'm sure I'll give her a show she will enjoy of what she have missed out on based on what kind of man I'll be in the next 5 years
(not to be cocky, but I'm putting in the work and I'm always trying to become better. She actually has been seeing that since day 1, she even acknowledged it subtly several times,)
So I'm planning on telling her that it was a pleasure to know her and wish her best in her life. Just that. But I'm not sure if it's a good idea, will that make me seem needy or something as now we haven't been talking for so long then suddenly I say those two sentences? Or is it a good idea?
Any suggestions or opinions would be really appreciated. Thanks in advance for reading my post.

I have been talking with a girl in my college for 2 years and we both had a deep crush on each other, however this year(our graduation year), she started acting suddenly very distant, that was after I gave her a birthday gift (which I did Because she also gave me one on my birthday, so I just reciprocated the interest). Now she acts like she doesn't even acknowledge my existence.
I tried my best to get to know what happened and 'fix things' , but she always turned me down replying with one sentence. I know something may have happened that changed her mind or she 'got bored', and I respect her decisions although what she did is rude and she hurt me a little bit (we were literally couples but unofficially, and we both knew that. The circumstances we live in just didn't allow it to be official).
Long story short, the graduation day is not far away, and now that we don't talk to each other anymore, I don't want to end the year in the situation we are within because I know deep down we both still have little feelings for each other, and her existence had a positive effect on my life although she hurt me. And I'm sure I'll give her a show she will enjoy of what she have missed out on based on what kind of man I'll be in the next 5 years
(not to be cocky, but I'm putting in the work and I'm always trying to become better. She actually has been seeing that since day 1, she even acknowledged it subtly several times,)
So I'm planning on telling her that it was a pleasure to know her and wish her best in her life. Just that. But I'm not sure if it's a good idea, will that make me seem needy or something as now we haven't been talking for so long then suddenly I say those two sentences? Or is it a good idea?
Any suggestions or opinions would be really appreciated. Thanks in advance for reading my post.

My bf (22m) and I (20f) have been LC/NC with MIL since last July. I blocked her on Facebook in may after sending her a nasty her for missing her son’s 21st birthday party. She had 2 months notice to the party and made excuse after excuse about why shouldn’t come, ultimately it ended up being because we didn’t want her alcoholic husband to be there and she refused to go with out him. She never even sent him a birthday card.
My bfs birthday is at the beginning of may and this year MILs husband sent him a message asking what he wanted for his bday during the second week of April. My bf does not like him, wants nothing to do with him and has explained this to his mom. So the message was never read because he has his notifications blocked, I saw it about a week and half after while looking on his phone and told my bf. He was annoyed but just txted MILs husband back, we didn’t hear anything for over a week and then she invited us up to dinner at her house. They live about and hour away so we said sure whenever is fine, we just want to be home before 10 pm, they wanted to wait until we all had a day off so we agreed. They were waiting to getting Sundays off so we could come up but my schedule just changed and now I have to work Sundays so I told my bf to let his mom know. She said that she is trying to find a new job because they cut her hours at work, MIL and her husband always work at the same place and her hours always get cut…
I just want to vent because this is not how my family is, birthdays are special and to be celebrated with all of your favorites because you need to enjoy life. I wish this women would even take a second of her own time to spend with her son, even on the phone without her husband talking too. She didn’t send him a card or anything this year either. We live and hour away and she commuted to a job an hour and 15 mins away for over a year!!!! I want to believe she cares about her son but everything she’s ever done to him and treats him tells me she doesn’t.

I was baptized in my teens. I fully converted and was all in. This put a HUGE strain on my relationships with my family!
I was brought up anti Mormon and went to a church that had classes on “how to deal with your Mormon friends”. I kid you not. That was the name of it. I was shown the Godmakers at 10. (For the record, they did weird things in that video that weren’t true in the church). My dad disowned me, my mom and grandma struggled and my cousins were a bit upset too.
With my dad there’s no loss there. He’s a massive Narcissist who faked having cancer among many, many other things. However, I regret deeply how much me joining the church impacted relationships with them.
I also changed my friends completely. Some of the changes were good. I no longer went to parties. Since alcoholism runs deeply in my family, that change was good. But I also judged others. I judged a lot.
I was also judged a lot because I swore a lot before I joined the church. Y’all will be happy to know that I’ve picked up that again and mocha is my fave now. I think I craved connection and the stability that wasn’t there with my family.
I just regret all of that wasted time that I could’ve spent with my mom and grandma. I wish I had talked to my grandma about family history without spending hours putting names in so I could take them to the temple. I regret all the wasted time that I spent in the temple.
Do any of you have similar regrets. I know this isn’t unique to converts either. I’m sure a lot of you are/were in mixed faith families. If you have, how did you deal with them? What helped you?

I’ve been in a few serious relationships, I’m in my mid 30s now. Even at the happiest of times I feel a sense of impending doom in the pit of my stomach. I don’t feel this at all when I’m single. It’s like when I’m in a relationship I feel trapped and smothered.
My parents had an unhappy abusive marriage and my mom was quietly miserable. I could see it on her face and feel the tension as a small child. I remember wishing she was single. Weirdly my siblings when on to get married and seemed like they weren’t affected like this.
Also in my life I’ve known of many men living double lives/cheating/hiding kids. Even my dad hid a secret child from before my parents were married. For over 40 years. My dad also stepped out on my mom. Had lots of married men hit on me at work. I know not all men are like this but I look around and this is what I see in my personal life. Can anyone relate?

My daughter’s birthday is coming up and for it all she wants to do is go to our local animal Wildlife park. She’s inviting a couple of friends and our local(ish) family is coming + I’ve booked an encounter with her favourite animal. My partner (her dad) has never done much regarding planning birthdays, I just keep him informed of what’s going on.
He mentioned today his aunt had booked plane tickets to come down for the time period and will be able to make the birthday. Normally great but his aunt requires a service dog and this specific wildlife park does not allow them in. She’s (understandably) not able to be separated from it.
My partner (and now his parents) think we (I) should reorganise the day because his aunt would be offended we’re doing something she can’t come to. I think we should keep the plans as they are but we can also do stuff with his aunt the day before/after and so breakfast and dinner on her actual birthday. WIBTA for this?

Hi, I'm Greg 28, I'm here to tell you that I graduated from High School (or well the version of that in my country, Spain) I stopped studying after what in the US is middle school I believe.
Had to go trough a fair bit as a child and teen, mental and physical abuse from my elder narcissistic dad who only had me and used me as an emotional outlet in all sort of fucked ways, somehow I ended up trauma bonded and looking after him, I should have left my house years ago, everybody told me, but I never listsened.
To this you can add an alcoholic depressive mother who left the picture when I was 5, isolation, I always felt like an outsider, total lack of healthy emotional connection growing up and social anxiety during my teens because of a fair bit of bullying reason why I left my studies...
Basically a bit too much for a kid, I did what I could but everything seamed to be in flames and hurt. In my twenties I went on and off trough a series of dead end jobs, struggling with a lot of repressed emotional wounds, not really knowing what was I doing, with a shitty ass self esteem and letting life push me around without opposing.
At some point I met a girl tho, I fell in love BAD, she helped me a bunch, I grew emotionally a lot, she showed me what love was supposed to look like, academically she encouraged me to restart studying, she empowered me to try when I thought I was but a fuck up, and so I did.
Long story short I graduated a few days ago.
Thing is she left me in february and I fell deep and hard into a bad bad pit. I realized I had been neglecting my own emotional wounds for too long, while in the relathionship I thought I was doing better but I mostly was just feeling better wich is not quite the same. I'm seeing a therapist and she thinks I might have chronic depression, basically a persistent and mild form of depression as well as anxiety issues.
Honeslty it adds up quite a fair bit with me.
Sadly I also neglected her feelings, I had a big problem being verbally loving, all other forms of showing love (acts, touch, gifts, time, effort etc) YES as much as I could but verbally? God, I was awful... I'm not forgiving my self for this one soon.
Anyways, what I'm trynna say is that as bittersweet as it may be, and it sure is without her around , I finished and I did it despite being in what was posibly the darkest period of time of my life. I'm happy I didn't do anything crazy to my self, it sure was close. Wish I could have felt anything when I finally did it tho, I always thought it was going to be one of those core happy memories but instead I felt nothing.
I've got some plans now, I might pursue what in the US is an associate's degree in programming, I'm going to try an turn my life around for good. I'm also in a quest for emotional growth and trying to learn from my mistakes, I REALLY want to stop the generational trauma that goes down my family.
I think that is all, thanks a lot to those who read this and to anyone answering me :)

Hey Reddit community!! My birthday is coming soon, and there’s one wish i would like to be fulfilled. I’ve been eyeing "The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt complete edition" for the longest time... It’s finally on sale for 550 INR (around $6.6)! Here are the required links:
Profile Link: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199248815878/
Game Link: https://store.steampowered.com/sub/124923/
A gift from my fellow redditors would be appreciated!!

So one of my best friend’s (let’s call her A) brother’s is getting married. My best friend (A), our other best friend, and I (24F) are all a long time trio. We have been a close group of friends for more than 10 years.
We are all from Southeast Asia. However, A has been living in the US since 2017. She moved there for college and has been working there ever since. She visits from time to time, usually during Christmas, and we all hang out. I’d say we video call more frequently, but since the pandemic, we only see each other in person twice a year.
A has been telling us about her older brother’s wedding for a long time. Her older brother is marrying a woman who comes from a pretty well-known family. Majority of his fiancée’s relatives are popular actors and actresses or married to them, to the point where one of her non-celeb uncles married a popular actress and ran for a high political position using that, and won.
Because A’s older brother’s wedding is in July, she is flying home to attend it as a bridesmaid. She discusses the wedding with us from time to time.
I am not actually sure if A will invite us or not, and I don’t want to voice anything because I don’t want to invite myself. Plus, the bride and groom (her brother) might want a small wedding. However, I made the mistake of telling my mom—“It’s fine if she doesn’t invite us, though I would really like to see X.” X is a popular and handsome actor; he’s the bride’s cousin, and he got pretty famous due to a Netflix show. Now, he even has an international fanbase.
My mom is now insisting that I have to jokingly tell A— “Hey, if you have extra seats, we’re willing to go! We want to catch a glimpse of X.” She says that it’s culturally acceptable in our region to voice these things out (she’s kinda right, this is an Asian wedding), and everyone in my region invites their close friends to their siblings’ weddings. My mom also said that cost won’t be an issue (A’s dad is a billionaire).
Although my friend and I do want to go, the fact that A hasn’t really said anything about inviting us probably means she’s not in charge of the invite list. Besides, July is right around the corner.
My mom keeps saying that if I don’t voice it now I’ll regret it, and that A probably wanted to invite us anyway but forgot due to her scatterbrained nature (she is pretty forgetful, one time she almost forgot to invite us to her own birthday party when we were the only non-relative guests on her list). I’m putting my foot down and told my mom I won’t be asking for an invite just out of common courtesy, and now my mom is mad.
WIBTA if I jokingly ask A for invites to her brother’s wedding? (ADDENDUM: A once said we were all invited to her brother’s wedding, but this was in 2018–she mistakenly thought he was proposing that year).

TF2 used to be my life
I originally created a steam account back in 2016 because my best friend wanted to play TF2 with me. I had barely touched FPS games, much less any PC game to begin with because I grew up a sheltered kid from a poor family. My mom subscribed to the whole "FPS causes violence" philosophy and would get mad at me for playing phatom forces on Roblox when I was 13-14 years old. Needless to say, I wasn't supposed to be able to play TF2 or much of anything violent for that matter, but nonetheless I continued.
My dad had a shitty old macbook pro that he had as a work laptop for years and years. The thing finally gave out and was decommissioned and he "disposed of it" and brought it home to use as a family computer. This thing could barely run flash games, but I downloaded tf2 anyway and struggeled through the 10 minute load times and the 20-30 fps on a good day to play. The allure of the game and the characters helped me push through the buggy laggy mess.
When I got to high school I got another shitty laptop, this time for school. This one could TF2 albiet not much better than the first and I spent hours of my life watching tf2 youtube videos and playing the game. I was so into it my sophomore year that I almost failed multiple classes in school because I engaged with the game so frequently. It was one of the few games I could play (I used to watch let's plays of games I couldn't run so I could still experience them) and I loved tf2 to death. I played sitting criss cross on the couch because I didn't own a desk, and used the cushion space next to me as a mousepad. None of my friends played it but it was my personal escape from the world.
Right as covid started I scored my very own gaming laptop. Lenovo had a discount on laptops for school, my parents were more well off than they had ever been, and I managed to sweet talk my dad into getting me something nice for my 18th birthday. The FIRST game I put on that thing was TF2 and I practically cried because after years I finally had something that could run it. By this point I was better at the FPS genre and the bump in computer specs made it even easier to excell. My mother wasn't ecstatic that I was playing FPS games but she let it slide because I was getting older. About that same time my friends got me into Apex Legends and because of years of trial and error with TF2 I was actually not too bad at the game. I even competed in some minor tournaments and won a hat from an Apex competition, proving my mom wrong and showing that what I enjoyed wasn't a complete waste of time, and I credit TF2 with both my teacher for FPS and my passion for the genre. Several years later I even saved the money from my first job to build my own PC.
I was there for Rick May's death, I was there for the begining of the botting of casual servers, and when I say it wrenched me to my core, I mean my teenage high school self cried as I deleted and redownloaded my favorite game mutliple times over several months. I never really did experience the hype of new updates as I only truely got into the game post jungle inferno. But I've been here for the slow rot and decay that has taken place over the past seven years as the game has faded from an old glory, to a rotten corpse.
The game in it's current state is barely playable, there are workarounds for it, but it's insulting to watch the thing that really started my passion for PC gaming and really gaming in genral get repeatedly kicked to the side. I realize that "Valve as a company works differently" is an excuse that gets thrown around a lot but I know I'm not alone in saying that this is not the end TF2 deserves. Its been SEVEN FUCKING YEARS since we got any kind of real attention from Valve and while it probably doesn't men shit I love this game and I don't want to watch negligence to consume the thing that has given me so much joy.
I love TF2 and I don't want to watch it die, not like this...

warning: long post
i (f22) had a huge fight with my mom a few nights ago. here's what happened: i was working till late at night and my mom asked if i wanted some noodles. i said yes. she came into my room and brought me the noodles. i went outside my room to take some water. i was hungry, so i wanted to eat right away. but then she made a comment on my body, told me that i was becoming fatter. for the past year, i have become very sensitive about my body image, and i have been consulting with a therapist about this. but still, comments on my body easily triggers me. i responded to hear briefly, and then went back to my room. but then the sight of the food made me really nauseous, so i put it away, outside of my room. thinking maybe i can save it for later when i feel better about it. i locked my door, and i cried a little. but then, my mom comes, banging on my door, yelling at me to open my door, and starts yelling about how im ungrateful, and starts cursing me. telling me that i'll regret it. she said a lot more things, but i couldn't hear it since my body completely shut down (out of fear, i guess). i froze and could only cover my ears. she said something along the lines of wanting to call my boyfriend and telling him to stop dating me.
i freaked out. i called my boyfriend and cried hysterically about this, and all my negative thoughts came to the surface. i started scratching my thighs real hard to the point it was definitely self harming, and i started to tell him i wanted to die. he panicked, and started to call my sister (f30, lives in the same house). my sister came down to talk to me and knocked on my door. i wanted to open the door, but my body didnt want to listen to me. i just froze and cried.
i heard yelling from the other room, which turned out to be my sister telling my mom off.
silence. i had a mental breakdown.
my mom came banging on my door again. even worse yelling now. start cursing me again. she started telling me that if i wont open the door, then i wont get to call her "mom" again. i mustered up all the strength i have left and opened the door. a little part in me wished she would calm down and listen to me. she didn't. it became worse once she was inside. she told me "you want me to die so bad, huh? i hope i die tomorrow so you'll be happy!!! you're insane!! you're clearly sick in the head! why are you behaving like a child? just see, i'll die tomorrow and you'll see!" she definitely said a lot more. i covered my ears again, all while crying hysterically. she then stormed out of my room and i guess she cried in her room. my brother (m27) started saying i should go apologize since she's the parent and I'm the child. i only calmed down once my sister and my dad started trying to calm me down and gave me water.
my mom has been ignoring me for 3 days. didn't even want to see in my direction. i tried talking to her (telling her i'm leaving the house) but she acted like i was a ghost. now i'm not sure what to do. i'm scared to apologize because last time we fought, i tried apologizing but she ignored me with my hand still in the air. it really broke me that time. i'm scared of the thought it might happen again.
tl;dr: mom got mad at me for not wanting to eat the food she made after she called me fat. has been ignoring me after yelling and cursing at me, and calling me sick in the head.