Hey all, I recently have been seeing a lot of people across the internet on different websites promoting not fixing your pets and provided pseudo scientific reasons for it. A lot of the content feels like it is "researched" in the same way antivax content is. After seeing this, I thought sharing the story of how my childhood cat died could shed light on why you need to fix your pets. Sharing this I believe can also help me grieving him years later.
A lot of this content describes fixing your pet as being for human convenience rather than necessity for your pet to live a long, happy life. In some situations of course you shouldn't get your pet fixed. For instance, if they have a deformity that would make it pointless or dangerous.
It isn't for convenience sake. Trust me when I say that I don't get my own pets fixed because of convenience. I do it because I want to see them for their whole lives.
Our first cat we didn't get fixed for all of the usual excuses people give for it but his health wouldn't listen to those excuses. He would sneak out, roam the neighborhood, etc. until he found other male cats to fight with over a female. He would return with all fur on the top of his head gone, parts of his ear torn or cut, and sometimes an eye shut because it was scratched from him fighting males and impregnating other cats.
He lived to 4 years old before he was diagnosed with feline aids. His last month of life he was bedridden, unable to move, and any touch or petting hurt him from the disease. The disease slowly progressed from the start to the finish of that month. It got to a point that 3/4 of us wanted to make the decision to put him down but my little sister's want for him to live was enough that my parents disregarded his pain and my want for him to be put down. During the final day of his life, his breathing started to rattle and he dragged himself to the door constantly begging to go back outside. His breathing kept getting worse and it was obvious he was going to die since the rattles began that morning.
That night we decided to be kind to him and let him leave out the door and monitor him. After he was let outside we noticed that all he wanted to do was get as far from us as he could get so we wouldn't watch him die. He flopped himself off the front porch onto the grass and dragged himself using his two front paws under our car. We decided to leave him entirely so he wouldn't have to struggle to run away from us anymore as he wanted to go that way. He laid under that car until he perished hours later after. We couldn't put him down due to my little sister throwing a fit that putting him down was wrong because she loved him all the way until the end (I really hate that our parents didn't end his suffering to this day).
The sound of his failing lungs, my sister wailing to leave him alone, and the sight of his desperation to drag his corpse of a body has haunted me since. I will never have a pet that hasn't been fixed ever again.

hi! was never taught finances growing up low income, so i’m reaching out for advice. in college right now for chem, this summer i’m working two jobs and making 1.5k-2k a month. i’m staying in LA (moved out from hometown due to bad relationship with my parents) with my boyfriend, only paying 500 a month for rent since we share a room.
i don’t drive so i don’t have any big expenses like car payment car insurance etc, i get enough money for groceries with EBT, my mom graciously pays for university, so i have pretty low expenses (barring my medical, but i’m on university insurance and they have covered 90% of all costs? i still don’t know how insurance works…)
building up my credit right now with discover, but currently all of my money is sitting in a capital one savings account (have had a capital one bank account since birth, so haven’t changed banks) with a 4.25% APY. 3% of my income from one of my jobs currently goes into a 401k sponsored by that job.
what should i do with the rest of my money to grow it? i’ve heard vaguely about a lot of options like stocks, ETFs, and a bunch of other stuff not off the top of my head— but all of that info has been from things like tiktok so i don’t really trust it.
all i have in mind is that this summer i’m going through patch testing— and i don’t know how much that is going to be out of pocket. also, trying to reserve a couple hundred bucks for the end of the summer when i move into a new university housing apartment. thank you!!

Got myself into a Beauty College and graduating in 6.5 months to earn my licenses as a Nail Tech. Costs about 8-10k and financial aid will cover more than half. All my life I’ve been going back n forth from working as a server or construction/welding. Up until a year ago, during the pandemic I realized that the Beauty Industry was one of the few that was still thriving so I took a chance (with the support of family and friends) and decided to pursue this career.
In the beginning it was a little deflating to my ego, the stigma that goes with a male being in a women’s industry plus I wasn’t good at the start ( who is when trying something brand new ) I had no idea what a cuticle was til I went to school. I just knew when it was time to cut my nails and that was that. Never went inside and got a manicure or pedicure before. Not that I ever truly needed one bc I mean most guys do the basic things to clip n clean.
That being said, fellas I’m telling you now. If your an extrovert, enjoy talking to women/making them laugh, take care of yourself physically/mentally, have some sort of dressing fashion, making easy money in AC + tips and want vacations/time off almost anytime you want as long as you give the owners within a respectable time frame. This job is for you! I’ve been working little over a year, no where near as good as my other technicians but I’m pulling in at least 55-60k a year. That’s only doing the basics/simple stuff. Like in every career, you put forth the hunger to learn and get better, you’ll be pulling in more money. My fellow nail techs who have been doing this a long time. A slow week is 1,500 a week for them 5-6 days.
Now I love this job haha. Definitely has its perks, free mani/pedis, the ladies in the salon will take care of your brows, make sure your on point and one thing it has done for me, built up confidence to speak/hold a conversation with women. If you don’t crumble under pressure 😂 servicing a woman’s nails and making her laugh/comfortable at the same time. Whole different ball park. Feel free to ask any questions bros! We need more fresh n fly male techs out here, giving free game to my boys out there who wanna learn the ins and outs
By the way, there is no background check as long as you don’t look hella sketchy, tattoos are now being more accepted but face tattoos will always be difficult for a owner of any business to hire, gang/racial are obvious. But from what I am told, clients enjoy that im a Millennial, relatable, well-spoken/dressed, tattoos and a decent looking Male. You know how us Men would say girls have it easier in certain aspects in a career such as like a barber for instance. If she was pretty or cute, did my lineup or fade and it didn’t come out to nice. I’d still tip and come back because of her looks/personality and made me feel good while be serviced. “Pretty Boy Privilege” is definitely a thing in this industry so it’s the same for us. Being a young male tech has tons of benefits here also if your smooth English speaker haha.
One last thing to add, if you’re feeling embarrassed switching over from a blue collar job, a “man’s man” type of job. I tell my buddies all the time when they tried clowning at me. “While yall are still talking about how you would approach a woman or talk to one, I’m really here doing it and yall are still keeping to yourselves.” 😂

To cut a long story short, I quit my job this week, I am going to uni in September and my loan for uni only covers half my accommodation for the year, so all the rest of the money I have from the last two years of working (I don't really spend any money if I don't REALLY need to, so all my money is basically savings) I have had to spend on that. I also recently had to pay my car insurance, which for young drivers in the UK is painfully expensive. Now the issue with this is I need to find a way to feed myself for at least a month or two when I go to uni before I can find a job there. Jobs near where I live are incredibly scarce so finding one just for over the summer is practically out of the question, along with tasks such as dog walking/ lawn care etc etc. Online methods would be vastly more accessible to me.
TLDR: Im looking for a way to make 300-800 over the next 3ish months. Is this realistic, and if so how? Otherwise its cold water soup for me come september.

My brother married an actual psychopath. My brother (40) married the scummiest scum of the earth. Who can only be described as a whore, a psycho, sociopath and an all around terrible human being. It was against the wishes of EVERYONE. For back story…She had a child by another man… and only had him (in november) to live off the government. he met the stray hoe took care of her and her unborn child. they started dating in september and by christmas she had drained his bank account. He moved in with her days after christmas. Proposed. And got married sometime between march and june i honestly can not be bothered to know exactly when. The night before brother was admitted to the er for staph infection in his berries. After the “wedding” that was in the back yard of some pastor . they had a “reception”. Where i photographed/observed the following. A used tampon on washing machine. Shit filled diapers littering the nursery. A surreal amount of clothing on the bed. I said nah im good. And went home. The wedding was in may and she got my brother to legally adopt her child. Im forever convinced if not for my brother she would casey anthony her child. She Munchausened her kid and my brother. Self diagnosing the kid with autism. Pushed or made my brother fall and get multiple concussions. Drugged him with date rape drugs to keep control of him. She was a frequent flier to the ER going to the emergency room for unnecessary reasons. She refused to parent her child insisting that its the worlds job to teach him the bare minimum. She refused to clean as well. Her cockroaches had cockroaches. Cleanliness was mental illness for her. She kicked my brother out asking for divorce. But realized she had to leave bc he paid the bills. She stayed with whoever the hell would take her. Was forced to walk wherever she needed to go. And uttered the words “well i had to walk in the rain so theres my bath for the week” after growing tired of not having his card and money she came crawling back. She avoided parenting like the plague. Every excuse. Uti. Migraine. Yeast infection. Its a tuesday. When her son was 2 she left to go to another state and go to school for being a truck driver. Had no qualms of leaving her kid behind for weeks. Then she dropped out of 18 wheeler school. It seems the wheels on her bus fell off. For someone who doesnt believe proper hygiene was important she didnt believe bathing him and basic care was important. Feet encrusted in dirt and dirt under overgrown nails. It was so noticeable that when i cut his nails his teacher made comment about it. Her family was just as absent as you would expect. Her mother only went to the first birthday party when the child was 6. And didnt even know her own grandchild. Asked another child at the party if he had the best birthday! My mom looked at her and said “yeaaa thats the wrong kid…” Fast forward when the first born was 6 and she birthed her second. This had no change and her parenting never improved. Another child encrusted in dirt. After the youngest turned a year and a half my brother had knee surgery and stayed with us (me mom dad) to recover because she would have made him cook clean and parent. While he was healing for the week he was there she moved in her boyfriend AND girlfriend. By the way she not only a hoe she is a promiscuous hoe with no moral compass. I promised my mom id never call CPS however when the second was 2 i had a friend call cps. Like a special ops team cops went in at 2 am and gathered the children and brought them to me and my parents. We had the 2 year old and a friend of the hoe had the 8 year old. For 2 weeks my brother agonized over his kids being taken. And she had a vacation. She treated it as if having your kids repo’ed as a right of passage. Told the world. Told the teacher. And had the time of her stupid life. In the 2 weeks i had them i had minions collecting screenshots of statuses of her being a bad mother. Which was super easy bc every thought made it to facebook. Such as. “My dentist suggested i brush my teeth at least once a day” “i guess i was doing (brother) with the wrong meds and made him sick” “why dont grandparents raise our children” i gathered these gems and photographic evidence of the state of the house and cleanliness of children to cps, police and eventually divorce lawyer. During their time together the hoe broke my brother mentally spiritually emotionally physically financially. The food stamps ran out in the first week of every month spent on junk soda and unnecessary nonsense. They had to ask my mother for money that accumulated to the tune of $10,000 over 10 years. She is also a gofundme whore. She would start a gofundme 10-12 times a year for any and everything. She decided at one point to go back to school and did an amazon wishlist for school supplies and a gofundme for “gas food and other expenses”. Being the trash human she is she is friends with people of unsavory character. An actual crack head bought her entire amazon wishlist. Which she put on facebook. Yikes. At one point she found a dog and instead of finding the owner she finders keepers that poor pup. Making yet another gofundme for dog expenses. I told my friends i would paaaay them to claim the dog as theirs so my mother didnt pay for yet another mouth to feed. If youre curious about the gofundmes and if they were ever fruitful… when a bull milks a calf will her gofundme work. The final year of their marriage was no less chaotic. The christmas of 2019 she posted on facebook that its so wonderful that her husband is out working and her boyfriend is sleeping next to her and her girlfriend is cooking. Tagging the aforementioned on facebook. My brother was humiliated because infront of church members family and friends his marriage and all the stupidity that came with it was out in the open for all to judge. My brother was at the time a corrections officers and let his kind nature and naivety get him in trouble. A person asked him to take some taco bell to an inmate and in what could only be called a moment of stupidity (sorry mom) he did so. what he didnt know is they put drugs in it and when it was scanned he was arrested. My mom and dad had to bail him out too him home and around 3 am he called me “they voted me out” beyond confused i asked what the hell does that mean? As it turned out. Hoe boyfriend and girlfriend unanimously voted him out of the house. Mind you. Single wide trailer housing 4 adults 2 kids a dog and cats. June of 2020 he moved back in a month later if the children followed. after the actual breadwinner left the house the unemployed baboons could not pay the rent and were kicked out. The three went down to two with the girlfriend being let go. Hoe and boyfriend moved in with her mother. And boyfriend wrecked the car in my brothers name. Dui and head on collision. Car gone! The children stayed with us. The youngest was 2 at the time and began calling my mom “mommy” which pissed off the hoe. And she never contacted them. At the hearing for the divorce she stated all she wanted out of the relationship was not money or visitation. But her maiden name back. TAKE IT. AND LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE. She also used a photo of her kids on a gofundme to get sympathy and posted that to a fetish website. Seeing as the photo was them shirtless i believe that was on purpose. She dumped boyfriend and found a new love in new hampshire. She was in NH for 8 months with her new boyfriend and he lost his job so they moved back down. After a summer of no contact she called and told the children “when i get home we are going to….” And listed about 10 events places and activities to look forward to. None of which she delivered on. After not spending time with them again and choosing to give up her weekend with them to play video games for 30 HOURS STRAIGHT. She eventually in 2024 decided that her and her boyfriend were moving to Massachusetts. Seeing how she is a practicing witch my only hope is the salem witch trials reconvene. She married the dude she abandoned her kids for. On mothers day the children who no longer give a damn she exists were forced to call and tell her happy mothers day. Where the 6 year old proceeded to tell her the older brother got a phone and didnt wanna give her his number. She assured him that as his mother its quite alright to give mommy dearest the number to which the youngest said yea no he doesnt want to. The mouths of babes. She cried and posted on facebook not only do her children hate her but she had to give up her cats too. And wished the “real mom’s of the world a happy mothers day” shes a shit cat mom too! A week after we had spaghetti for dinner and the 6 year old said “i never used to like spaghetti. I only tried it at… whats her names house? Jordan? Yea her house” With their father engaged to a good Godly woman with morals and standards the worst mother to ever mother has been replaced and so far we are all living happily ever after. The moral of the story is if you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas what if you lay down with whores end up with bedbugs and that was a very costly moral

Hi. I’m 24f and i’ve never spoken about this to anyone and i’m scared of how people might react to how shitty i used to be. I feel like i need to give some backstory as well.
Growing up, my dad raised me. my mom was on substances and got charged with child neglect, child endangerment, domestic violence, DWI, etc and got my half brother and I taken away from her. Before we got taken away we didn’t get treated very well (obvi by the charges) my mom used to lock me behind a gate as a small toddler while she got drunk.. her bf used to literally drag my by my ankles to put me there. my brother had also witnessed her OD and had to do CPR on her while she was in the backyard, naked, and not breathing at 12 years old. we got seperated and he went to his dads and i went to mine.
Living at my dads i struggled with anxiety but didn’t know how to voice it nor did i realize i needed help. i would tell my dad i’m sorry a million times when i didn’t do anything and say i had a “mean butterfly” in my stomach. my mom also got custody again of me when i was around 10, and my mental health got worse. she told me i needed to lose weight, would put makeup on me, would straighten my curly hair bc it was “unkept” etc. it made me feel really shitty about myself and i took it out on others. i was very mean and didn’t like other kids in middle school. i ended up getting bullied and sexually harassed in 7th grade. 2 boys would constantly grope me and say in appropriate things to me that i didn’t really understand at the time. i finally stuck up for myself and told them to “fuck off and leave me alone” which ended up with me getting in school suspension and the boys not getting in trouble at all. this led to my belief that adults weren’t there to help me.
Highschool came around and i made friends, but i was still SO mean. i was 14 at this time.. started shoplifting, stealing from others such as money, clothes, anhthing i could use. i was doing drugs such as xanex and oxy, and would be mean as fuck to girls i saw as “vulnerable.” i just oozed hatred. my parents would cry because i didn’t give a shit how others felt, and wanted to do what i wanted to do. i would stare at them in the eyes while they begged me to do better and feel nothing. i didn’t care about anything. I ended up OD’ing at 14 and had my dad cry next to my bed while i went through withdrawls. i’ll never forget that and my heart breaks thinking about the pain i put him through.
I ended up meeting a boy at 16 who ended up being abusive. he busted my nose open, gave me black eyes, keyed my car, cheated on me, and isolated me severely. he threatened to kill me if i left but i finally got the chance to later on. it was very hard, and it definitely left a mark on my soul, but i got out.
After i got away, it’s like something clicked. i did a lot of self reflection and realized how horrible of a person i was. i do anything i can now to make up for how i used to be. I also realized as i started “healing” (i guess?) i started feeling empathy. i started crying when i saw elderly people alone, i started crying seeing sad animals, i started missing my dad and my family and my heart physically aches realizing what i put them through. i can physically feel others pain and want to do anything i can to make their pain stop.
Anywho, i just wanted to rant about how shitty i used to be and how i’ve grown as a person. i wish i had more help as a child but i’m determined to be the adult little me needed.

I have seen a grown, white, German shepherd/slight mix of some sort roaming my neighborhood for weeks now, neighbors assure me she's owned, but she is out without anyone watching her, almost every damned morning, without a collar. Aside from her possibility of being hit, or attacking other animals or possibly humans that make her feel unsafe (she's fairly friendly, originally a little cautious but warms up quickly) she is very obviously unfixed. She has been mounted by another stray in the neighborhood, an unfixed male. She also has another, smaller dog that follows her around (some kind of terrier Chihuahua mix) unsure of gender.
I don't see a collar on her, but I've had an idea of weaving a loose collar to attach a note to, saying keep her inside and get her fixed, especially because she's likely pregnant, or risk having someone call some form of animal services on her. I really, really don't want to. I know she would likely not survive a shelter, and I'd also feel bad for the smaller dog that's almost always with her. I don't want them to be abused, or be put down. I want their supposed owners to be responsible, and if they can't be, let someone else step in. I don't use any personal IDing social media for personal safety reasons, trying to figure out how to prevent them from being hit by a car, birthing more strays into the neighborhood, or being put down. Edit: typo, I'm worried for the terrier too.

I’m in the US. This will sound weird but I am 28 and have never owned / bought / rented a car. I of course know how to drive and have a license, but I moved to a big city when I was 18 and never needed a car. Now I am back in the suburbs and need to buy a car.
So I have very good credit and a long relationship with my bank which pre-approved me for a 69k loan. I am looking at a 2024 Kia Soul from a local dealership that is listed on my bank’s auto page. The Kia is about ~22k and I will be making ~380$ monthly payments for 60 month term, at ~6.5 apr, with 5k down. All of this I am okay with and actually prefer because I trust my bank a lot more than a random dealership sales person.
So my main question is that I am planning to go to the dealership directly this weekend. What can I expect? I know I will ask to test drive the car, but do I just come out and immediately show my pre-approval letter? Will the dealership itself have to do any of their own finance checks (income, credit, etc) — or is that just a tactic to get me to use their financing? I am just very nervous of getting fucked over. TIA

I 24F and my partner 26M have been together 5 years this year. When we started dating he would “bully” me for all my hobbies and interests. For example…. I played Fortnite and Minecraft heavily when we met. He used to absolutely rip into me about it… I have always read smutty fantasy books or romance books that are more on the adult end. He used to be very snarky about them… I have loved anime since I was younger I used to be bullied at school for it and then he used to make very harsh comments about my love for it and called me names and would join his friends in bullying me for it too then play it off as a “joke”. And my taste in music is very eclectic from heavy metal and deathcore to musicians like anson seabra etc. he would call me names again and would intentionally turn my music off in the car etc and I’d be forced to listen to his music which was all very old school songs like streets of London etc. They weren’t bad but weren’t my taste. And there are more but I’ll spare you the rest of the list. He was obsessed with knives and guns, war history, violent books, and only really played racing games because he self admittedly wasn’t good at shooter games. Though they aren’t my taste when he’d talk about them I’d listen and be interested because they’re what he was interested in, but I never took over any of his interests.
Fast forward to the last few years and he started off small by invading my hobby of Minecraft and started playing it and decided he actually liked it. He made it his personality for around 8 months where he’d talk down to me about it when I’d talk to him about the game and would behave like he’s played the game since it was released and would try to “correct” me on things. Then it went onto Fortnite and the same thing happened. He played it once, decided he liked it then suddenly he was the god of Fortnite and Fortnite lore. The anime situation. He started off small with AOT and then suddenly he’s an anime lover and was bragging to the guys he works with that he’s a huge anime nerd and was making himself the office anime lore guy when he hated anime fans and used to bully me and others online for it.
Well it also happened with my music he’d start playing songs that he’d used to pick on me for and when I’d mention that he didn’t like that music he’d snap my head off and get nasty and try to claim he’d always listened to it. Well I voiced my issue not too long ago and it was met with defensiveness and arguing that I am not that special and unique and he can do what he wants. Which is fine he can. But I’ve slowly lost love for all the things I used to enjoy because I don’t have anything to myself anymore.
Well I made the mistake of talking to him about some of the books I’d been reading and he initially made his usual comments and wouldn’t listen to me when I’d talk or he shut me down. These last few months he’s started listening to the audio book versions of a handful of my favourite smut books and keeps talking down to me about them and keeps going on about them making them his whole personality again. He’s slowly killed me love for reading these books because he treats it like a race to finish them before I do when I talk about a new book and then spoils it for me or gets a god complex because he’s gone out of his way to look up the other books and spoil them for me too. It’s obsessive and is killing all of my hobbies slowly but surely. I haven’t impeded on any of his likes and interests because I know how important it is to have things that are sacred to you to escape to and enjoy. But I don’t anymore.
TLDR / AITAH for being annoyed with my partner for ruining all my hobbies and invading my personal space when it comes to things I enjoy.

I don't remember the a lot from when I was little. I was never concerned about it. I always had this thing where suddenly I woke up one morning and I remember something, then when I speak about it, I'm met with confused faces and people telling me it never happened.
Like this one time, I suddenly remembered sitting in the car at the age of something like 6/7 with my dad driving, my mother in the passenger seat, me in the backseat on the far left and my brother and sister next me. When it came up, we were reminiscing about when we were younger and I told them about this memory of mine, and I was just staring at a bunch of confused face.
My dad didn't have a drivers license, we have never owned a car (kinda poor), and my father left us after I turned 3.
This happened a lot, I'd dream something and my brain was convinced it was true. It's how I never questioned anything because my memory lane wasn't empty or something, it was filled, with truths and lies, reality and whatever my mind could make up to fill the voids. I understand that much.
But what really made me want to regain my memories, is that I kept thinking on why I don't remember anything. Sure, I have some trauma, maybe my dad leaving us because he was sick and all. And yes, I've never really had a father role model, but surely that isn't the only existing reason my memories through my younger years are just blank.
What really did it though was this one moment my mother was talking about a trip we had to this amusement park where you could stay overnight. We went there, I was 4/5/6 I think, and there was this talentshow. We all participated, my sister and brother danced or they sang a song or something, and I wanted to be different I guess because I told a story. And I basically, to shorten it because my mother didn't really want to tell me it in the first place so I had to force it out of sister, but she was being awkward about it, I basically told a story about how a man touched me.
Of course everyone got very concerned because it was in an amusementpark and it was in front of a lot of people with a microphone and everything and I feel really bad for doing that as child to my mom, because she didn't do anything wrong. But CPS got called, and everything practically cleared up when I ended up crying, and I confessed I made it up and it was all a joke. That is what I was told.
But there is something about this all that is just too suspicious, like I feel like I didn't make it up, and if I didn't, then might that be the reason that I don't remember anything? Is that it? And what do I do to get my memories back? Because it's not just merely curiousity that wants to know, I just really feel like, no matter how much I might find out if anyone has a method or something, even if the apperent truth might hurt me or whatever, I really need to know.

I feel like a little kid posting this but I just want to hear input from other parents because I just don’t understand.
I am the oldest daughter (25 now) and have a sister (21) and brother (24). My dad has always been really close with my sister and they’re very similar, and I understand that, but it feels like they have so many things they do between just the two of them and I’m never apart of it.
The one big thing they do every year that I’m never a part of is an annual fun trip out west. This started when I was in 8th grade and was originally the 3 of us (my dad does fun stuff with my brother as well, but this was something for us as sisters), except for the last 6+ years it’s always just the two of them. I understand I’m now an adult that works full time so I guess it’s harder for me to call off work to come with, but I would gladly call off to spend time with them if my dad ever made a genuine effort to invite me. It’s always a comment made in passing several months before the trip, like “hey I think we might go here the weekend of _____” and then it’s never brought up to me again until I hear that they’re leaving. He gets annoyed that I don’t seize on the single comment he makes months in advance, as if that’s a genuine attempt at inviting me, but I know he’s discussing everything with my sister as they’re buying flights, booking hotels, and making plans for weeks leading up to the trip and I never hear a word of it.
It just happened again this year but this time my dad truly didn’t say a word of it to me. He mentioned he couldn’t help me fix my car because he would be out of town, I said oh thanks for the invite, and he said he told me of the dates in January. I scrolled back through 4 months of texts and sent him pictures to show that he hadn’t ever mentioned it, and he said he was sorry and mentioned how there was one year I bailed out anyways (I can’t remember why but there was a genuine reason I couldn’t go). It’s always felt hurtful when it comes around each year but this time I just feel absolutely broken. I just don’t get it. As a parent to two daughters why wouldn’t you want them both with you? If one wasn’t able to go the previous year, wouldn’t that just make you want them to come with even more the following year? I understand doing special one on one things but there’s not really any one on one moments I share with my dad anymore between just the two of us now that I’m an adult.
Deep down I know he loves the bond between the two of them and I know he views this as their special trip every year. I finally told him how hurtful it was to go through the same argument every year and still have nothing change and out of anger I said I didn’t want him to reply to my message, but it’s been several days now and he really hasn’t said a word. They left for their trip today

I dont speak to my kids. One of them even disowned the whole family name legally.
As soon as we divorced you had your other kids dad up in there swiftly and got rid of the last name quickly too.. . He was abusive yet you protected him, kept my non abusive ass at bay with the law, and then made an attempt to COMPLETELY TAKE THE KIDS FROM ME AND KEEP THEM INTEGRATED IN YOUR TOXIC ABUSIVE SITUATION....While ridding them of me because of my toxic ways. It failed because I researched and document enough of your rachet behaviors to keep them in my life. But for some stupid reason I always took your fake well wishes, and word soup at face value. But you were never supportive at all. You just showboated it. Even letting me use the car as when I was working on shit for you...and as soon as someTHING else came along you desired, and feared I might hinder by being a part OF THEIR LIVES you forced me out of their lives... OVER TOTAL FABRICATED LIES, refused to tell me what was my charges against me, and kept me stonewalled for over three years over the lies, AND ALLOWED THE KIDS TO THINK I ABANDONED THEM THE WHOLE TIME we were no contact.
I almost died over that shit. That literally almost killed me. And you dont GAF. Your kids relationship with their father...WAS DEEMED DISPOSABLE BY YOU. It came in last behind your trips, vacays, abusers, feinds that were "part of your friend family", even your style of "open parenting" (aka let them raise themselves while i party, and tour the ether with toxic bunny besties, blasting away the liquid allowances of men with one foot in the grave that had desires of not being lonely and were willing to sponsor "fun lifestyles") (although you did keep them well clothed, well fed, and gave them a great work ethic) was deemed. You decided that their boyfriends moving in with them at your house while they were young teens while you "did your thang girl" retreating, resorting, concerting, and discovering...WAS MORE OF THE SOLID THING TO DO THAN LET THIER DAD COME IN AND PARTAKE IN SOME OF THAT "RAISING".
Am I saying I could have done it better? No. NOT AT ALL.
Im saying you could have been more understanding and more including, and more accepting. You crucified me for the same shit you allowed...REGUARLY CONSISTENTLY FOR YEARS IN THE KIDS LIVES AND PROXIMITY.
Once again Im not saying I could have done it better...but I always trusted you..and figured you would include me with honest intentions. But it was always lip service to have plausible deniability that you held ill will when you came time to discard.
FOR FUCKS SAKE THE FIRST TIME YOU TRIED TO TAKE THE KIDS FROM ME TOTALLY, AND LAYED ALL THE DAMNING EVIDENCE IN FRONT OF YOU WITH "MY OWN HAND WRITTEN CUSTODY AGREEMENT" AND YOU WALKED IN THAT COURT ROOM BARELY EVEN KNOWING WHAT WAS IN THAT LONG AGREEMENT. AND YOU TOLD THE JUDGE "WEVE DECIDED TO COME UP WITH OUR OWN AGREEMENT, AND HAVE IT NOTARIZED" WHEN 30 MINS PRIOR YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD THE KIDS OUT OF MY LIFE "IN THE BAG"
wHAT DID MY AGREEMENT SAY?
i COULD HAVE DESTROYED YOU AND MADE IT TAKE MONTHS OR YEARS TO PROVE YOURSELF FIT..BUT I CHOSE A 50/50 EVERYTHING BECAUSE THATS HOW PPL ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. EVEN IF ONES DOWN AND ONES UP. CO PARTENTS AT LEAST
And you always claimed "the high ground" while doing THIS SHIT. You were all deception and projection...What am I guilty of?.FINANCIAL IMPOTENCY AT THE WORST..Neglect in our together years...and after that lady..you were a liar through and through. Years of fakery. Every kinds word ended up with you trashing me with the refuse. And you always blamed me...Even knowing you were chasing selfish motives and had the discard already set up.
You did me the favor of forgiving a massive amount of child support. Im grateful..but honestly id do time over the forgiving of debt to be with my kids as real family dad and kids...not with "you" I dont even research your life or inquire about it to others. I no longer care. but Id do years to be able to communicate with them, and having a real shot at them knowing me without your long term influence. Id trade just about anything but my soul for a shOT at their open hearts and open minds about me without your "love and care" influencing how they see me.
I have been told by several of your once friends, now ops..that my youngest might not even be mine. But I havent a clue if theres any truth to it, although it makes sense and little dick S ties into that perfectly.
Ive lost you all, youve helped that. I used to long for a you I coulkd trust. Not a you romantically but a you I could love as family and work with in life. I believed in a true you and was in love with you, making you a gold standard of what a good woman is for damn near two decades after we split...through all your lies, deception, projection, discarding, and cutting down...WHILE YOU INFLUENCED THE KIDS THAT I WAS SHIT.
THEY DONT KNOW HALF OF THE MALICOUS TRUTH ABOUT "ME NOT BEING THERE"
YOUR HALF...A BIG HALF
I keep saying I forgive and hold no ill will. but i am deeply firey inferno type angry. I want to take my aquarius air sign capabilities...and stoke and bellow fires to carbonized you landscapes earth sign. I want to blow waters upon your scorched earth and turn it to dark brown mud. I want to starve your barren mud pits of oxygen so green grass or plant of life wont inhabit it. And in the sorrows that come with stripping you down with my furious wrath of air..at your darkest..I want to send tornadoes, hurricanes, dust storms, and ravaging wind storms to keep you uncomfortable and in chaos...not even allowed to enjoy the "calm and peace in the depression of the mudscape"
But my fury will stay composed. you arent worth the exertion of my energy anymore. because you are not a person i know...and you are not someone who i have known since our divorce, and you havent allowed me to know the real you, or tried to know the real me.
I speak to the void, and leave you be..
but if these winds start to blow into a tempest they would rip apart all of your beauty..and decimate EVERYTHING YOU APPRECIATE, LOVE, OR WANT TO KEEP WITH YOU INTO PIECES...
the wind has nothing to lose..you cant take away from it..you cant add to it...you can just influence it and pressure it in your earthen vessels. It can starve fire of O2, Starve your green growths and florals of life, steer and stoke flames to carbonize your whole surface level facade, it can catalyze and thunderstorms, tornadoes, and hurricanes to pelt your surface...and wash you down to tho the levels of molecular sediment in the seas... and what you take from air displaces and when it comes back around..it is still air..whole and intact..even if its polluted...blowing in anger fires, floods, and storms upon you...driving frozen seas ashore on your beaches puncturing your picturesque places of dreams with daggers by the millions, slowly forcing the way inward...multiplying in number
So let me say since my kid changed the name legally, you changed yours too, and the other may or may not be mine but hates and has disowned me anyway...that if there are past lives, next lives, soul bonds or eternal connections...they end here and now. like YOU wanted, but used your motherly influence over time spanning times to make them feel that its exactly what they wanted too.
the complete opposite of what i want, or have ever wanted.
.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.''.'

UNLESS there is some major major changes that happen on this 3d plain FROM YOU, AND YOUR BULLSHIT, ACCOUNTABILITY AND TOXICITY, COMMUNICATION, COMPASSION AND REMORSE....

Then spiritually , In front of The Lord as I believe. I release any and all connections to you. Asking that it ends here and my knowledge of you, and ties to you be broken... in heaven, in earth, and any and all realms and plains of existence, embodiment, life, and after life.
And I write this should I suddenly meet my demise and we never "got equal in spirit" on this plain...so it can be effective if God is willing at the point of my ending.
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I'll start off by saying I don't want to sit here and write a post of another failed set of parents, but, alas, I have nobody else I can speak to about this that would really understand. I've found therapists do be rather unhelpful and I truly have trust issues with people. I've kept a lot of this inside for my life and at this point I think I just need to somehow let it out instead of punching holes in walls or screaming in anger randomly. Maybe writing it here would help me sleep a full night or be a little happier in life?
Either way, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your take on this for those who have experienced a similar past. I'm not looking for sympathy, but a possible path that I can take in getting rid of this hate I have inside of me for good.
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By the age of 13 I had already been living with different friends for months and months with no idea where or what my mother was doing. I went to school but only when I wanted to, otherwise I would wander around and skateboard on the streets until it was time to go 'home'. She would randomly show up in her beat up 80s Honda accord with everything she owned in the backseat to see me once in a BLUE moon. Never once did she speak with my friends parents or caretakers about me, just assumed I would worm my way into another family and their life and become another mouth to feed with no explanation. As a kid you don't really see it from an adults perspective, but as an adult you know there's a failed adult behind this child in your home.
I knew the situation wasn't ideal, but I was living with my best friend at the time for a while as a kid. Every night was video games with your best bud, how bad can life be?
My mother was 17 when she had me, and 16 when she had my brother both with the same guy. I never knew my brother, he was given away because either she was too young or she didn't want him. I spoke with him a few times on social media, but nothing more. I don't use any social media so any contact I did have is gone. He didn't know I existed until I had reached out and has never spoken with our blood parents.
Super mommy did it all. Drank whatever and whenever she could, frequently used drugs (even sold them to my friends who were in middle school for a couple of bucks), fist fought anyone that upset her (including men and myself at a certain age) and was always the victim in these scenarios. She hadn't been this way for as long as I knew her, but majority of the time it was. She had a temper like no other and felt like it was "her" superpower. When it reality it's just a weakness that everyone gets to experience firsthand, either verbally or physically depending on the day. "You can fuck with mean, but you can't fuck with crazy!" she'd say, moments before road raging with a stranger at midnight in the middle of nowhere.
When my 'step' father (the man who raised me most of my life and I love with everything I have) had heard of my situation living abroad, he didn't hesitate to pick me up and take me to a better place in an entirely different part of the country. He and my mother didn't see eye to eye on much after I was about 4 years old, but he always stuck around in the same town we lived in to be around me. Eventually he went back to his hometown when she severed communication between he and I. Only through the grapevine did he hear about me and what I was doing. A few days later he had driven across the US day and night to pick me up, give that family money, thanked them and took me away.
The last time I spoke with my mother was when she took me out for some new shoes for my 14th birthday making promises left and right, while again sitting in her car with everything she had in the backseat. It was just another day with this human who couldn't help but do drugs and lie to me. I already knew I wouldn't be here in a few days and when she came back to see me, I was gone.
I lived in this new home and it actually felt like one with my Dad (step dad but he was my DAD). A few years of having a HOME was surreal and I think I took it for granted, because that too came to an end. I was just starting college and that's when parent #2 came into my life.
Meet Bio-dad! He was once only a few blurry pictures from many years past and tales from my shaman mother. Naturally I was always curious about him, and one day we were in contact with one another. Somehow he managed to find me, even though he had been paying child support for most of my life. He flew out to meet me, and a few months later I somehow decided moving across the country to live with him was a swell idea.
I thought this might have been it, finally, the blood I thought I always wanted in my life. But just a few months in I realized he was no better than her. He was successful and worked hard, but that doesn't mean he's a good person let alone a father. I never called him Dad or Father purely because I was a young adult now and didn't need another figure like that in my life, let alone from someone I barely knew. He was on marriage 2 or 3 with step kids and I just felt like I was 13 years old again in another strange house. I was told he spent a long time trying to find me when he was paying child support but was never able to. I believed him at first, and sometime later many divorced fathers told me that probably isn't be true.
It felt like he was constantly angry or upset at something. His wife, the kids, the dogs, the pool, whatever he was annoyed with everyone else was obligated to agree or veer away. He often found ways to make himself out to be the hardest worker and nothing matters but how many hours you clock in your worksheet. He "wished he could work 40 hours a week". After a few months of everyone arguing, yelling and finger pointing over little nothings each day, I decided I didn't need this kind of stress in my life and left to live in my small truck for a few weeks until I found a room to rent on my own and start my adult life.
Over the years he's tried to stay in contact with me but I never really gave much back to him if at all. I have no interest in knowing him, but his insistent attempts to contact me with 'family is important' yada yada makes my blood boil. I have no blood family as far as I care to know. I'm on the latter half of this life and I simply don't see the point in trying to establish these relationships because we have the same grandparents or blood. Why would I EVER try to put myself into that situation again? For family? Something I really don't value or care about?
The last couple of years I went from never thinking about these humans to frequently finding myself shaking from anger and distracted in life from what I want to actually do and accomplish. I feel like I'm stuck on this chapter and I really, really need to move on from it. I thought just ignoring it would work, but alas as time goes on I get random phone calls and texts from people I used to know trying to get in contact with me. I know who they are, and I know who they're speaking for, but I don't ever give them the satisfaction of even responding.
So here I am, wondering what I should do. Do I call both of them (keep in mind I don't think they've spoken since the early 90s) and let each person individually know that I'd rather watch them suffer in life than to spend time with them? I don't even want them to know where I am, what I'm doing or what I sound like. Do I write them an email, pray they know what that even is and hope they understand I don't care for them?
I considered getting hypnotized so I can fully forget them. As ridiculous as that sounds I often wonder if I could completely remove them from my memory, would I be a better person? Would I finally feel this tension in my chest leave? Would I stop screaming internally when I'm alone out of anger towards them?
At this point in my life I just want to be happy with what I have and leave them in an old time capsule never to be opened again. As I get older the more I understand that childhood tremendously dictates who we are, and I'm learning that I don't really like who I am in some aspects, and I blame them for that. Whatever good and success I have in life is because of my 'step' Dad and how he raised me the best he could.
I don't know that I could be calm or mature enough to clearly state how I feel without emotions coming into the mix. Every time I imagine talking to them it quickly turns into a rage that takes a while to let go of.
If you read my rant, thank you. If you didn't, I don't blame you one bit.
tl;dr I need to completely remove my parents from my life so I can move on, and I'm not sure how to go about it.
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I don't really know where to start. It hurts a lot but it's a diffent kind of hurt it's a comfortable kind of hurt...
Sunday I went to movie theater with a friend, and during the movie she's was texting me, my phone was on silent so I didn't find out untill after.
The dreaded "I think we need to talk. Call me back when you have a moment." My chest started pounding, and hands shaking. All while trying to remain calm in front of my friend
Soon as I got into the car I called, small talk about the movie then she said "I don't know how to do this, I've never had to do this before, do I do this over the phone, I don't know"
I told her that it sounds like something we need to talk in person. She's worried about me being getting sick I told her that not to worry because this sounds important.
We sat their together, and talked, cried, smiled, for a very long time. We talked about if we're becoming toxic for one another, if we're what we need in our life right now, how we've grown, the way we mis/communicate, her feelings of still needing to heal, but without me, needing to work more on herself, and her traumas. About our cards, our storage units, the things we'll have to move and how we wouldn't be the people we are today without oneanother.
We hadn't really eaten so we went to our favorite diner one last time. There we reminisced about the past. Asked about our favorite memories, talked about books and shows. I took her back home and we sat in the car for a while, not wanting to leave each other's side, wishing that we could stay in the moment just a little longer. We knew that eventually she'd need to head inside, but we'd make jokes keep each other there.
Finally after a long while, we said "I love you" as she slowly headed back inside and headed a friend's to vent.
We've been together for 6 years and theirs been so much pain, joy, regret, struggle, family/ friends death, and growth that we've gone through.
It's the kind of hurt that although I miss her and although I love her, understanding that we can't always give what the other needs, and that it takes time to figure that out as an individual and how to communicate that need and for another to either learn if it's in their ability too.
Regarless this really sucks, but I understand...

I'm currently employed in the HR sector. Earning 9k gross 4.5 net. Capension scheme are probably my biggest benefits.
I'm looking to change employer and in the jump trying to get an upgrade to 12k gross.
However, I've also been looking into whether I can't go freelance for various reasons.
I've done some research on the setup etc and I note I can best discuss a lot of things on pay/taxes with an accountant, but my question is more pragmatic and I haven't seen it answered here:
Before jumping in, quiting my job and my current income, I would prefer to know just what my chances are of being hired for a certain rate, given my professional history. Is there a good way to find out how strong the hiring market is for freelance HR directors and what rates are being charged? Or am I supposed to jump in, hear with some other people through network, and see how companies react to my propositions?
Having that info upfront would make it much easier to decide what I'm getting into (and tbh also to sell the idea to my wife)
any advice

Hi everyone, I’ve tried to find people on this subreddit with similar experiences, but I’ve had no luck so I figured I would create my own post and see if anyone had any advice. So I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (24F) for the past 7 years. It’s been a good and healthy relationship, except the fact that I feel extremely uncomfortable around his family. His mom and brother are quiet and we don’t talk much, however his dad has been an issue throughout our relationship. I guess to give some context, my boyfriends dad is not a good person. According to my boyfriend, his dad has admitted to being a delinquent all his life. He’s stolen from friends and family, has done a ridiculous amount of drugs, driven drunk and nearly killed himself in a car crash and more. In recent years, he’s been verbally abusive towards his wife and kids, has a bad temper and is aggressive and offensive to anyone who doesn’t agree with his opinions.
All of this hasn’t really affected me other than seeings bits and pieces of his behaviour when I’m at their home but I can’t do anything aside from ignoring it. However, in the last 3 years or so, I’ve started to feel uncomfortable with the ‘jokes’ or comments he makes towards myself or in general about women. Just to name a few instances, he was pissed off at his wife about something insignificant and when it was just me and him alone in the living room he said ‘if only I were younger I’d get with someone like you’. Or the many times I’ve caught him looking at me up and down for too long and calling me pretty. Recently, he’s started taking pictures of family members, which sounds innocent enough. Except that he always finds a way to take photos of me alone or his younger sons girlfriends which he chose to print and frame for himself. Then he picks up the photo every once in awhile and says ‘ I don’t want to sound like a creepy old man but these girls are gorgeous’. I don’t want to sound crazy or dramatic but there have been several instances where I felt extremely uncomfortable by how he looks at me, I can’t even explain it properly. This extends to my boyfriends’ brothers girlfriend as well as other younger women who are considered family friends. He makes constant remarks about their bodies and how they look and then goes on to compare his wife to us and says she doesn’t look as good as we do. Recently there was a conversation that took place about a new movie with an attractive female celebrity and he interrupted by saying that ‘she has a fat ass, she’s sexy and that she’s all over his Facebook feed and he loves looking at her’ in front of his wife and kids. Anytime anyone calls him out on his language or behaviour he jumps to the ‘I’m joking’ excuse when we know he isn’t.
Just to add, he also makes it a point to embarrass both his sons on their appearance and says that we as their girlfriends are out of their leagues. My boyfriends can’t do anything about it because if he does, his dad explodes and gets angry which causes the household atmosphere to shift into chaos for a long time afterwards. All I feel I can do is to avoid him as much as possible but I still feel uncomfortable in their home when he’s around. Any advice? Thank you all in advance
TLDR; my boyfriend’s dad is creepy, how do I handle it?
Edit to add: the reason I still go to their house is because we are allowed to have privacy in his room. My parents are strict and don’t allow me to be anywhere in my home with my boyfriend unless the doors are open. He also can’t step foot in my room under any circumstance. As a young couple we want to maintain a physical relationship which is why I still go over

I stared, mouth dry, heart pounding, at the message from my boss – That awful combination of words that my coworkers and I pray we never see:
“You’re in the running for Employee of the Year.”
For him to send something so callous via email – that was just rubbing salt in the wound.
My eyes glazed over the wall of text that followed. I didn’t need to read the details – I’d cleaned enough of the prior winners off the walls and ceiling of the soundproofed breakroom to know exactly what the award entailed.
After that initial, deep pang of fear faded, denial flooded in to take its place.
I wasn’t just hitting my sales quota, I was blowing it out of the damn water – selling big ticket items daily. I never forgot to place the stickers with my barcode on the products, either, so when my customers checked out and it was scanned at the register, the sales should’ve automatically been linked to my employee ID.
We don’t receive commission – there are other ‘incentives’ to keep our sales up. I hadn’t been watching the numbers because I knew I was making sales left and right – I would've never even dreamt that I was at risk.
It was just a glitch with our computer system, I decided with a nervous laugh. It had to be – something IT could probably sort out in no time.
When I finally regained control of my legs, I wobbled to my manager’s office.
There was no miscalculation, he assured me. It was my employee ID that ranked at the bottom.
“The barcodes never lie, Graham.” He didn’t even bother making eye contact.
I was circling the drain figuratively, and if I didn’t get my shit together – literally – soon enough.
I begged him to review the camera footage – I knew he'd be able to see me making all those sales. “Don’t worry,” he added, with a smile vacant of anything remotely resembling happiness, “One way or another, we all contribute to the success of our company.”
I suppose that by then, he was long desensitized to the pleas of the desperate.
As I left his office, I assured myself that this wasn’t a death sentence.
Not yet.
I had another month until they recalculated our final standings, before shit would get real. Before I’d be given a limp handshake and an empty ‘Thank you for your devotion to the company’ as I was led down the hallway. Before I’d meet what lives behind the usually padlocked door in the shadowy corner of the breakroom.
Before I’d learn what it truly meant to sacrifice myself for the good of the company.
Word spread fast around the office.
Kevin gave me his smug, shit eating grin – maybe he thought that with me out of the picture, he’d finally have a shot with Elise.
Elise… I just desperately hoped that hers wouldn’t be the name drawn afterwards – the one selected to hose what’s left of me off the breakroom floor and down the stained, rusty drain.
As required, I began parking in my new designated space at the far end of the employee lot – the faded sign indicating ‘Reserved for Employee of the Year’ nearly swallowed up by the encroaching tree line. It added an extra ten minutes to my walk to our store, and I dreaded that added time in the oppressive Texas heat. The rational part of me knew that was soon to be a moot point, though.
One way or another, in another month, I wouldn’t have that parking spot. If I were lucky, I’d live to see another summer – live to see some other poor bastard’s car parked there.
If they hadn’t already heard the news, when the rest of my coworkers saw my car in that space, they knew what it meant. Don’t get too attached.
They started avoiding me like the plague. I didn’t blame them.
We all knew what would be coming next if my sales didn’t improve – it's the same thing that happens every time:
We’d gather for the mandatory meeting on the closing night of the fiscal year, all eyes on the sorry son of a bitch that had ‘won’ – the room so quiet that you could hear their muffled sobs. They’d receive what barely constituted a handshake from my manager while he muttered – dead-eyed – his appreciation for their devotion to the company.
Next, they’d be ushered off to the breakroom to meet ‘corporate’. No one tried to run – not after what happened in '19. Instead, the winner would always turn back, shooting us a desperate, final look – eyes pleading for someone, anyone, to intervene. And, of course, no one ever did.
Once the door closed behind them and that sound-proofed room swallowed up the last of their sobbing, begging – it was over. The rest of us would be sent home and I'd try to shower away that disgusting feeling – that sick sense of relief that someone else was sent to their death, and not me.
Cal – the nicest guy I’d ever met – he was the bottom performer two years ago.
He’d fallen so ill that he’d nearly wasted away and eventually, couldn’t work anymore. He must've thought that freed him from his contract – if he left, if he never came back into work, he’d be okay.
He must not have read the fine print in our hiring paperwork.
Although, to be fair, if any of us had read it, we'd never have signed it in the first place.
Cal was a warning to the rest of us, that there is no quitting in our line of work. If they have to track you down and find you (and I promise you that they will find you) – well, wouldn’t you prefer to go with your dignity, with the company compensating your loved ones – rather than be pulled from your home, kicking and screaming into the night?
Gina was employee of the year in 2023. Gina, with the kind smile, whom Kevin had set his sights on before Elise – and, just like Elise, she wanted nothing to do with him.
I still remember that day, the day they released the final numbers. The way Gina’s mouth hung open in confusion, shock.
When she finally managed to form words again, she too insisted that there must be some mistake. We all vouched for her to management – I’d personally seen her make so many sales.
Our manager simply reminded us that the barcodes never lie.
My name was the one drawn for breakroom duty that next morning, to pick up what remained of her smile and her simple gold wedding band, to be returned to her family. In one business week, they received a box containing a check, and everything left of her that wouldn’t fit down the drain.
Once the numbers are finalized, once your employee barcode has been slapped on that innocuous looking pink slip, well, your fate is sealed.
Kevin, in all his years at the company, has never parked on the far side of the lot. He has never even come close to becoming Employee of the Year, even though he couldn’t sell a bottle of water to a man dying of dehydration. He is sleaze incarnate and doesn’t even have the charisma to mask it.
I never understood how he did so well, but I couldn’t afford to think about him.
I had myself to worry about, and the glitch in the system. Any time I found myself in the breakroom, that ancient wooden door was an unwelcome reminder of the impending one-way trip it held for me.
I took special care to keep an eye on my sales, working my ass off, pulling double shifts. I pulled up the numbers as the end of month drew near, and couldn't believe it.
I was still dead last.
Somehow, there were days where less than half of my sales had been recorded to my employee number.
I didn’t understand.
I waited for the opportunity to sneak into the manager's office, and pull the footage myself.
I’d show the boss that something had gone wrong with the calculations, that the system was broken.
I finally got my chance. At first, I triumphantly watched myself make sale after sale – far more than had been credited to my account. For the first time in a month, I felt a sense of relief. I had evidence, and that had to count for something.
I switched feeds, to the camera nearer to the registers so I could confirm that the codes were being scanned. I'd seen several scanned successfully, and reached to turn off the recording. That's when I saw it.
Saw him.
Kevin.
It was subtle. I didn't realize what he was doing at first, until I recognized the pattern. Even then, I had to rewind and watch again for it to click.
It happened for nearly half of my sales that day. I saw him Intercepting the customers before they could check out – before I could get credit for my sales. And while he chatted them up, he discretely slapped his employee barcode over my own.
I confronted him that night – I was furious. He just smiled, smugly gave me that line about how the barcodes never lie.
He didn’t give a shit that he was sentencing someone else to death.
Hell, maybe he even enjoyed it.
Kevin had stolen credit for Gina’s sales – and god knows who else's.
Fucking. Kevin.
The day our numbers were to be finalized, he had the audacity to place his barcode over mine on a huge sale I’d made – he made no attempt at hiding it – right in front of me. He flashed me a grin as he did.
I caught up with the customers before they checked out and they kindly allowed me to peel the sticker off. I stuck it in my pocket to show my manager.
I pulled the video, too, and I stormed into his office, refused to leave until he watched it. I studied him as his eyes moved across the screen and if he was upset or shocked, he certainly didn't show it.
Finally, he met my eyes, and at the sight of the pain in his – well, for the first time, I felt a sense of relief.
Until I realized why he looked so miserable. Until he whispered, “I'm sorry, Graham. Someone has to receive that award tomorrow. It's out of my hands.”
I wordlessly handed him that damn barcode sticker of Kevin’s that I’d peeled off. He studied it for a long moment before he handed it back to me with a mere, “Why don't you hold onto this.”
I told Elise what had happened over lunch, and as much as I appreciated her outrage on my behalf, I was already resigned to it. I'd mainly wanted to warn her because I had a sick feeling she'd be the one Kevin went after next.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't devastated when, that night, my boss called me into his office and informed me of the final standings. Yeah, I knew it was coming, but I guess it's just human nature to hold onto denial – hope – until the bitter end.
For what felt like an eternity, we stared at each other in silence. The presence of the pink slip of paper lying on the desk between us, said more than enough.
Finally, my eyes drifted down to the form.
He’d already signed, but the space where my barcode – the series of vertical lines spelling out my death sentence – should’ve been placed, was empty.
I never knew how this part went, since it always took place behind closed doors. No one that ever filled out that form lived to tell the rest of us about it.
“I need you to place a barcode here before I send the form to corporate.” he said, eventually.
I opened my mouth for one final, impassioned plea for my life, but he interrupted me. He spoke each word slowly, softly.
“I’m leaving the room now. I need you to place a barcode here, before I send the form to corporate.”
He stared at me for a long moment, waiting for my barely perceptible nod of acknowledgement before leaving me alone in the office.
They processed the paperwork, and announced the Employee of the Year that next day.
Yes, I did feel a pang of guilt as I watched the smug grin fade, the blood drain from Kevin’s face as he stared in shock at the outstretched hand of our manager – as he was thanked for his devotion to our company.
I felt it again as I watched him plead all the way to the breakroom, as our manager spoke to him the same mantra we’d all heard before.
The barcodes never lie.
But I thought of Gina, of the countless others, and by the time I heard the door slam behind him – the guilt was already gone. In its place, the relief of knowing the rest of us were safe.
Well, at least until next year.

Keep in mind, I don't care if I'm not popular here. Fake internet points don't excite me. Real money does. Hence I'm going to dunk on memecoins immediately.

1. It's cheap like a memecoin, but has good fundamentals. The memecoins are idiot bait - people buy millions of them, and hope it'll make them rich. Any smart person can look at the supply, and realize all the meat has been eaten off the bone. Memecoins lure in new users, but the new users will speak badly of crypto when they see how much they've been ripped off. Poisoning the well is bad for crypto as a whole. Just ask Solana and their 50m rugged in a day.
   
2. Did I mention good fundamentals? The defi wallet is fantastic. Swap, lots of apps, fast to transfer, stake. I remember the corgi crew getting all excited when they actually got a wallet. We have a wallet with staking, and a usable chain.
   
3. We have an exchange. The exchange make tons of money for cdc, and it is sustainable. And it's fantastic. Faster, and more features than binance. Plus it's cheap.
   
4. Staking. Albert Einstein: "Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it; he who doesn't, pays it." I love how the system to set up - to favour compound interest. I get paid out weekly, I can move it to defi, and compound it. Currently, I'm compounding weekly and watching my investment grow so quickly is addicting, frankly.
   
5. When there's a gold rush, you don't invest in Gold. You invest in the company selling shovels. This was true when I bought BNB at 9$, and it's true now. With Binance's CEO going to prison, the top spot is up for grabs. And CRO is gunning for it.
   
6. 100,000,000 users. The depression will end. People will invest again. When it does, there will be a God candle to end all God candles.
   
7. A year isn't that long. 1 month down, 11 to go. Unlike every fudder screaming at me that this is a bad decision, I'm up 5,000$. And I'm getting over 500$/week for the privilege. I might even buy a car that isn't a total piece of shit.
   
8. I have a lot of faith in CDC. In a recent interview (Check Kris's twitter) he said they have all the licenses necessary to launch in Korea, one of the hugest markets besides the US. They are built on a solid bedrock of compliance. I've used the help in the app about half a dozen times, and it's been amazing. I saw the proof of reserves, and their behaviour in the bear market. They not only weathered it, they came out STRONG.
   
9. Plenty of upside potential. It's not a top ten coin yet. Three things I look at when I buy a coin. 1. Do I know the team? 2. What is the utility? Does it have a wallet? Can I stake it? Does it actually work and do what its supposed to do? Is it defi compatible? Is the supply finite? Could I pay for a coffee with it? 3. What's the upside potential? Is it already at ATH, or does it have plenty of room to grow? In all cases, yes. The Visa is the best in the market, for icy, and the defi wallet is fantastic. Exactly 0 memecoins can claim all three of these.
   
10. 2.71.25. This is financial advice.
    

One month update is that I'm happy with my decision. It's been working out great so far. There was a lot of haters in my original post, and I'm used to it from when I bought bitcoin in 2017. If there's enough interest I'll do a 6 month update. Don't invest in memecoins fam.

I have a back gate that my partner uses to enter + exit the property via wheelchair as the front steps are not reallly traversible for her. The problem is that bordering this back gate is a council garage/car park space on the opposite end of the gate, and an unmaintained neighbour's corner to the side. The old lady who prev owned the property died + the new owner comes by once every few months to gut the place then disappears so havent really caught him. Assuming he plans to either flip the house or rent it out.
In the neighbour's corner we have a bush thats overgrowing past the fence along with some invasive trees that will just cause more to sprout on my property and are at risk of building up big roots. See: https://i.imgur.com/yuEfKDC.jpg
On the council's side there is this mass build up of moss + mulch from where it hasn't been maintained. This massively builds up from the council's stuff against my back gate and makes it a slip / trip hazard when getting past the gate. See: https://i.imgur.com/UmeDq4P.jpg
Because the council around here are a bit useless and the neighbour is not unlike the Scarlet Pimpernel, I took the sledgehammer approach of tidying up what I could from my side of things and leaving the ball in their courts to do the rest. In the council's case: I love how they recently slapped an extra charge for green bin collections, so I decided I shouldn't be putting their waste in my bin - and I know it's not my waste because for the last 4 years I've been on top of trimming the hedge and always disposed of the leaves in the green bin. What I did instead was use a snow shovel to scrape away the excess council moss / mulch and. As for the neighbour's trees, I left the cuttings at the back fence of his garden so it's clear it's from his trees and not mine. For the moss / mulch from the council end, see: https://i.imgur.com/FPmneFs.jpg
This is what it looked like after a few hours of hedge trimming. As you can see, I clipped back some of the neighbour's stuff: https://i.imgur.com/X0nEwnD.jpg
And the hedge too (mirror'd): https://i.imgur.com/gje7CvS.jpg
Am I in the wrong here? Also, these are the trees I'm on about - bloody nuisance that seem to come up everywhere: https://i.imgur.com/AU286g2.jpg

Keep in mind, I don't care if I'm not popular here. Fake internet points don't excite me. Real money does. Hence I'm going to dunk on memecoins immediately.

1. It's cheap like a memecoin, but has good fundamentals. The memecoins are idiot bait - people buy millions of them, and hope it'll make them rich. Any smart person can look at the supply, and realize all the meat has been eaten off the bone. Memecoins lure in new users, but the new users will speak badly of crypto when they see how much they've been ripped off. Poisoning the well is bad for crypto as a whole. Just ask Solana and their 50m rugged in a day.
   
2. Did I mention good fundamentals? The defi wallet is fantastic. Swap, lots of apps, fast to transfer, stake. I remember the corgi crew getting all excited when they actually got a wallet. We have a wallet with staking, and a usable chain.
   
3. We have an exchange. The exchange make tons of money for cdc, and it is sustainable. And it's fantastic. Faster, and more features than binance. Plus it's cheap.
   
4. Staking. Albert Einstein: "Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it; he who doesn't, pays it." I love how the system to set up - to favour compound interest. I get paid out weekly, I can move it to defi, and compound it. Currently, I'm compounding weekly and watching my investment grow so quickly is addicting, frankly.
   
5. When there's a gold rush, you don't invest in Gold. You invest in the company selling shovels. This was true when I bought BNB at 9$, and it's true now. With Binance's CEO going to prison, the top spot is up for grabs. And CRO is gunning for it.
   
6. 100,000,000 users. The depression will end. People will invest again. When it does, there will be a God candle to end all God candles.
   
7. A year isn't that long. 1 month down, 11 to go. Unlike every fudder screaming at me that this is a bad decision, I'm up 5,000$. And I'm getting over 500$/week for the privilege. I might even buy a car that isn't a total piece of shit.
   
8. I have a lot of faith in CDC. In a recent interview (Check Kris's twitter) he said they have all the licenses necessary to launch in Korea, one of the hugest markets besides the US. They are build on a solid bedrock of compliance. I've used the help in the app about half a dozen times, and it's been amazing. I saw the proof of reserves, and their behaviour in the bear market. They not only weathered it, they came out STRONG.
   
9. Plenty of upside potential. It's not a top ten coin yet. Three things I look at when I buy a coin. 1. Do I know the team? 2. What is the utility? Does it have a wallet? Can I stake it? Does it actually work and do what its supposed to do? Is it defi compatible? Is the supply finite? Could I pay for a coffee with it? 3. What's the upside potential? Is it already at ATH, or does it have plenty of room to grow? In all cases, yes. The Visa is the best in the market, for icy, and the defi wallet is fantastic. Exactly 0 memecoins can claim all three of these.
   
10. 2.71.25. This is financial advice.
    

One month update is that I'm happy with my decision. It's been working out great so far. There was a lot of haters in my original post, and I'm used to it from when I bought bitcoin in 2017. If there's enough interest I'll do a 6 month update. Don't invest in memecoins fam.