This might be a little long but the situation has alot of parts to it and iam dying for information on what to do so I can help my mother so please read if you know anything about wills. I appriciate anyone who can help me at all. So my grandmother passed away about 2 years ago. Before she passed away we found out my aunt who had access to my grandmother's bank cars had been stealing and taking hundreds of dollors everyday out of her bank account so her rent at the extended care where she was, was bouncing. My aunt and her daughter where also living in my grandma's house at this time. No rent or pad rent to pay just using my grandmother's money for whatever they wanted. Risking the chances of my grandmother having to leave extended care. My aunt also spent all the money that went into my grandmothers account when she was in the hospital. When we told my grandmother this she called to tell my aunt she needed to leave her house but she never answered and she wouldn't listen to us. Just freaked out every time and would gaslight and try to manipulate the situation. My aunt hadn't answered the phone for the next year and just upped and changed the locks on my grandmother's house without permission so my grandmother couldn't even get in when we took her there. My grandmother took my aunt off the bank account and gave control to my mom. My grandmother passed away a year later in extended care. We were so close and I miss her terribly. She had a will that said the trailer & property was to be sold and the debt was to be paid and then the rest split between my mother and aunt. My aunt refuses to move or put the trailer up for sale. I have tried to figure out what to do and have gone to are court house to ask and they don't give us any useful numbers to call. The numbers they told us to call are all useless. My aunts hardly been paying the taxs and has 2 of her children living there and they still can't seem to pay the only thing they need to. I'd just like some info to help my mother get this will complete with my grandmothers last wishes. Please please help any info or help would be so appreciated. Thank you.

The past 2 days nobody I’ve talked to has even heard about FFIE. Even people I know on TikTok which is how I found out. We need to spread the word. Take to social media. Talk with your friends and family. Please don’t try to convince anyone who doesn’t have fun money to invest but if you know someone who spends money like it’s going out of style, hit them up. We have over 40k in this group. That’s a lot of word of mouth that can happen. It’s still a great price to buy in before take off 🚀

Hi I had filed a 100k gross income back in 2019 and 2020 however I realized I didn’t take advantage of tax deductions that I could’ve utilized.
Basically I did my taxes last minute to try and take advantage of Covid stimulus and I got some of it however I have a tax bill of tens of thousands of dollars.
Combined between federal and state it’s like $50,000. Orig ally it was only like $35k but it grew to $50k because of interest.
I got a bunch of mail from tax offices to help me reduce the liability but in all honest, I have been making payments for 6 months and mind you I didn’t even get the full stimulus that I was expecting.
So I basically incurred a tax bill that I otherwise could’ve avoided had I done my taxes correctly.
I do gig work and had an online business.
However I was using the money from gig work to invest in online business. So I had great “gross income” but because of my other investments, tax deductions I could’ve taken advantage of, I wasn’t suppose to pay anything in taxes.
I also got max unemployment as well.
Just curious to see if I amend my taxes to where my tax liability would be nothing, would I get in trouble for this?
Basically I still make the same income I always did, it’s just that some seasons I may get money from one gig and put it towards another but I wouldn’t take advantage of how to properly file all this.
I just told irs I made $100k a year (which I did) but as far as they’re concerned I just made $100k from practically nothing with no expenses.
Can I go back to amend my old taxes to include my expenses?
I’m hoping I won’t be audited or get in trouble with department of labor because even if I pay on my taxes I’d basically be making payments for years when I shouldn’t have a tax bill that high

Vex was placed in a holding cell aboard the human vessel, with energy shielding that was impossible to penetrate. He spent the journey in contemplation, marveling at everything he had witnessed of humanity's capabilities. How had they achieved so much in so little time? There had to be more to their story that met the eye.
As the ship entered Earth orbit, Vex caught glimpses of the planet on the screen. Great sprawling cities sparkled underneath, far larger than any in the Krell empire. Powerful orbital installations dotted the skies, dwarfing even the Empire's largest shipyards. It was then that Vex began to understand, that his people were completely unprepared for the scale of humanity's advancement.
The ship docked at a massive orbital station, teeming with activity. Vex was escorted from his cell by armed guards, their weaponry far superior to even Krell special forces. They said nothing as they led him through gleaming corridors, giving Vex time to study the architecture and design. Everything was optimized for efficiency in a way that spoke of deeply ingrained engineering principles.
Vex was brought before Commander Holden, who wasted no time getting straight to business. "Admiral, I understand you came here on a diplomatic mission. But covertly entering our space shows your people don't view us as friends. Why have you really come?"
Vex knew honesty was his only option. "Commander, I will not deny that my council sees humanity as a threat. When I reported on what I witnessed, they ordered me to return covertly and assess your technology, to understand how you achieved so much in so short a time. But I have realized, that approach will only breed more suspicion between our people."
Holden considered this response carefully. "Your people fear what they don't understand. But attacking or stealing technology will not earn your Empire's safety. We seek peaceful relations with all space-faring civilizations. If your leaders are open to dialog, there may be a way forward that benefits all."
Vex nodded slowly. "I believe the same, Commander. My mission has given me a new perspective. With your permission, I would like to open direct channel with the Empire and relay to them what I have witnessed, and that dialogue is the wisest path."
Holden thought for a moment. "An open dialogue could be a positive step. But there must be transparency on both sides going forward. I am willing to bring your request to our leaders, Admiral. In the meantime, you will remain our guest. You and your crew will be treated well and want for nothing."
Over the next few days, Vex was given accommodations befitting his status. He spent hours each day observing and talking with humans, and came to respect their ingenuity, compassion, and drive. Humanity's rapid advancement was due not to any secret, but to maximizing individual potential through advanced education and societal support structures. It became clear how open exchange could uplift his own people in turn.
Vex was updated that his request had been approved, and arrangements were being made for a secured FTL QEC channel to address the Empire Council directly. The day finally came, and Vex stood before the transmission portal, steeling himself for what was to come.
Would the Council even believe the truth, or had fear gripped them too strongly? There was only one way to find out.
Vex appeared before the Council Chambers, met by a sea of wary faces. Grand Admiral Kaar spoke first. "Admiral Vex, we awaited your report. Have you discovered the source of humanity's strength so we can counter this emerging threat?"
Vex took a deep breath. "Honorable Council, my ship was discovered, and captured by human fleet as fast as we entered their space. Both me and crew have been treated well by out hosts, and I’m here to ask you for you permission, to open diplomatic talks with human leaders, to solve this political crisis we have caused
An uproar followed as Councilors debated this shocking revelation. Kaar held up his hand for silence. "Vex, you ask us to abandon everything we know for the word of this...alien species. Why should we not see them still as a threat?"
Commander Holden stared harshly at the gathered Krell Council members, through the quantum communicator. "Admiral Vex and members of Krell council, when your vessel illegally entered sovereign human space, we could have responded with full force. The only reason your ship, and crew are still intact is because I chose to show restraint."
Vex shifted uncomfortably under Holden's stern gaze. "Commander, I understand the violation of your borders caused concern. Our intentions were to gather information, not instigate conflict. Please understand our species is still coming to terms with humanity's overwhelming advantages."
"Empty words," Holden interrupted. "For all your talk of diplomacy, your Admiralty ordered covert reconnaissance with unknown objectives. How am I to take your word when your very first contact was done in shadows and deception?"
Grand Admiral Kaar leaned forward. "Do not lecture us human. Our mission was to ensure the security of the Krell Empire in the face of an emerging superior force. If your technology had fallen into the wrong hands the consequences could have been disastrous."
"And who decides what constitutes the 'wrong hands' if not us?" Holden shot back. "This is not some lawless frontier Admiral, it is organized United Earth space. We will not tolerate foreign powers skulking around our borders and facilities unannounced."
Vex raised a pacifying hand. "Commander, while the Council's decision was rash, no harm was done. Let us move forward in a spirit of open-"
"Be silent Admiral," Holden cut him off. "I have not granted you permission to speak. You Krell act as if you are entitled to do as you please in our space, facing no repercussions. Well you have severely miscalculated."
Kaar leaned forward menacingly. "Are you threatening us human? Your fleets would burn before ever reaching the Empire home world. Do not believe you hold power over us."
A steely glint entered Holden's eyes. "Is that so Admiral? Then perhaps a demonstration is in order." He turned to an aide. "Launch the prototype."
The aide nodded and spoke quietly into her comm unit. Outside the viewing ports, the black void suddenly erupted in blinding light. A ripple seemed to pass through normal space itself, distorting the stars beyond in its wake. When the glare faded, a massive object was visible, a 10 miles long cylinder,
composed entirely of some unknown silvery material. Kaar blinked in shocked disbelief. "What...what is that?" Holden allowed himself a thin smile. "The product of unconventional technological pathways, even your reconnaissance failed to uncover Admiral. Allow me to introduce, Starlight Drive prototype 1, humanity's solution to traveling between the stars without limit."
Vex fought to find words. "Commander...that technology violates all known laws of physics. FTL travel was theorized as impossible!"
"And yet here it rests before your eyes," Holden replied calmly. "Its drives can accelerate this vessel from a dead stop to five percent of lightspeed within an hour, before safely making the jump to FTL velocities. But its true power lies elsewhere."
He gestured to the aide, who input a series of commands. There was another brilliant rippling in realspace, and when it faded the prototype was gone, having vanished without a trace. Simultaneously, an alert chimed on the crew's sensor boards - the prototype had reappeared halfway across the known galaxy, less than a lightyear from the Krell home world.
"One must always be prepared to face the unforeseen," Holden said ominously. His gaze swept across the stunned Council. "Bear that lesson well as you reconsider any plans regarding humanity or our borders. Your infiltration will have repercussions, but that discussion can wait. For now, our message is delivered, do not test us further, Council members.'"
With that, he cut the channel, leaving the Krell delegates in shocked silence. Vex stared at the empty transmission field, a cold feeling growing in his core. It seemed humanity's true military potential was even more staggering than they could have possibly imagined. What other paradigm-shifting technologies did they possess in reserve? More worrying still was the steely gleam, he had seen in Holden's eyes during the demonstration, these Terrans would show no mercy, if directly provoked. Cooperation was the only path to survival, if the Council could be persuaded to set aside their pride and see reason before it was too late.
The Council debated late into the cycles, but the discussion was far from civil. Factions remained stubbornly divided in their views of humanity.
Grand Admiral Kaar voiced the loudest opposition. "These Terrans speak of cooperation, yet covertly infiltrated our borders, in the middle of talks. How can we trust such a technologically advanced species, not to see them as a threat?"
Another council member struggled to be heard over the shouts of agreement. "Honorable Council, while the infiltration was a misstep, their intentions appeared peaceful. Would it not be prudent to learn more, before making enemies of a potential ally?"
"Empty words," Kaar countered. "You have been blinded by these aliens. We must approach them with caution, not naivety."
Weary hours passed without resolution. Then Kaar proposed a sinister compromise: "Send delegates not for learning, but to spy on humanity's strengths and vulnerabilities. Only then can we properly defend our people from their looming threat."
The Council unanimously approved the covert mission, to neutral space near human core systems, under the banner of diplomatic talks. Despite some council members objections, plans were made to infiltrate humanity under false pretenses of diplomacy. Weeks later, the delegation departed, concealing their true hostile purpose under a thin guise of open mindedness.
Opposition council members could only watch helplessly, praying the delegates did not provoke humanity's ire, through deception and betrayal. Much now depended on the Terrans showing restraint, if the deception was uncovered, for second time.

I have recently have had more time to play some games and need another game to play!
Just a warning, I am not well versed into the RPG realm as most people in this sub I assume, so I apologize if this post may seem very uneducated to read.
Game Systems I have to play are PS5 and PC!
I have always been a huge fan of fantasy like games that revolve around swords, magic, etc.
I have deeply fallen in love with Baldur's Gate 3 first playing it at its summer launch, one playthrough being a solo run, and another being a multiplayer run with friends. I had such a great time with this game and it has made my all time list of gaming experiences!
After finishing BG3, I wanted to scratch that itch again, and began my journey with Dragon Age Origins. And despite being an old game, this game surprised me and also made me fall in love with the world and characters. Playing this was such a great experience and has also made my top gaming experience list.
So, after finishing these last two games, I was wondering what game would you recommend me to play next?
Some things I like in these games that would help for recommendation:
Great Party Members/Cast: When playing these games, I love all the lore and story that came with characters like Shadow Heart and Morrigan, and how different characters developed throughout your time with them. these games provided such quality members that it really felt like I was playing with real people and real personalities.
Party Managing Combat: One aspect I really loved about these games were the battles. Being able to strategize combat and taking specific people to certain battles always seemed very fun to me. Another game I had played that I really love as well was Marvel's Midnight Suns, which also is a great game for party managing!
Voice Acting: This one is not a must have, but I must say that this really helped with the immersion of the game. BG3 did so great with the Voice actors, expressing such emotion and a voice that fits the characters so well. And the same thing can be said with DAO. while I understand some games may not have had the budget for VA's, I cannot lie when I say that having a game with voice acting greatly improves my experience with it overall!
Relationship system with party members: I think a great part of my experience with games like BG3, DAO, and Midnight Suns is that party members reacted to your decisions and conversations. There were also chances where you could pursue deeper conversations to learn lore and more about the character. I believe this aspect created way more immersion for me, and made me feel like I was dealing with real people with different emotions and personalities, and I would need to approach each character differently.
Apologize for the long response and if this was a hard read! but if anyone could help me with a recommendation that would be great!
One game that was recommended to me was Mass Effect. While this game seems up my alley, I did not seem to click with it at first play, that may be due to me not liking space setting games or movies as much. I also did not really like the gun/shooter like aspect of combat. I do want to try this game again though, as it seems weird I do not like this. Am I the only one that did not click with Mass effect?

We are all familiar with prating gratitude. It is an overly used concept that many times can turn int o a form of “toxic positivity” and this is far from what I want to do here. What is to be grateful anything?
I believe it is a feeling in a warm tan color in my chest, that makes me smile and think “I am happy I am here to see/experience this.” Maybe it is a religious experience to you, maybe you feel like thanking God or the universe for the opportunity to be here right now.
Another interesting thing is, you don’t have to feel grateful about big life changing experiences only, sometimes I am just grateful for McDonald’s, or for my cat, my friends and family for being there for me. Some days I’m grateful for having to strength to take a shower or drinking a glass of water. You can be grateful about anything.
Practicing gratitude helps us guide our minds into a more positive way of thinking. It doesn’t mean you can’t complain (I love complaining lol) but it helps us thinking about the good things we are actually able to experience.
If this seems too hard for you right, try to modify it to fit your needs: try to write down one complain you have about your day, and battle it with one or two that you feel grateful or happy for. We are all in different stages of our journey. You’re loved and respected, and your feelings are valid.
Now tell me, what are you grateful for today? What are you complain you want to battle with a good thought?

When I'm at work I'm okay. I'm a gardener and grounds maintenance so it's very rewarding and puts me in a good mood but I dread going home. I have friends but they're all on different schedules and some of them are flakey and my best mates live 2 hours away. I went and got some food on my own today just so I didn't have to go home. I did a bit of DJing earlier which was fun but I got bored and now I'm just sat here, I don't even like watching things because we used to watch so many things together.
When I do manage to meet some friends it's so good but 90% of the time I'm on my own and it's just hard to keep myself busy. It's been 2 months, she left me on text, ghosted me and I found out she's seeing someone else even though she said she would meet me for clarity regarding the situation. She have some half assed reasons but it was so one way and I never got to ask any questions. I did no contact but had to message her when I found out she's seeing someone else to get my things back. Honestly it's just painful and dealing with the pain in the evenings is so hard, I end up just getting in bed super early.
On the weekends I try to see friends, this Friday/Saturday I'm going to a dnb rave on my own as it seems so much effort to get my friends to meet and they always flake on me, honestly I don't know if I'll go, I live in a really isolating village so it's so much effort to get anywhere to do anything.
I've also booked a boxing class as it's something I did as a kid and something i always wanted to do when I was with her but just never committed.
I'm doing all the things I can to heal but it just feels hopeless and I just feel so lonely. My mum is serverly mentally ill and there trauma revolving that, my sister lives 4 hours away and my nan is not very well either so I help her when I can but we don't have a very loving relationship either and she is depressed and lonely from getting cheated on by my step grandad 10 years ago, my dad is no where to be seen and my grandad abandoned everyone and never sees us and he has no interest in me. It's just so hard when you don't have support and as a man. I've been thinking about therapy but not something that is at the top of my list as of yet but I will down the line, I'm already very self aware and I've done a bunch of reflection and trying to improve In the areas where I fell short in the relationship.
I guess I'm just struggling in general. I grew so much in that relationship, I used to suffer from depression but since my gardening job I feel so much better, but this is really weighing me down. I know I'll get through it, but the betrayal i experienced has brought back my trauma a little bit and it fucking hurts that she didn't even think for two seconds how this could affect me.
I needed to rant, thanks to anyone taking the time to read.

Greetings everyone!
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Before diving into study resources, it's essential to understand the three main levels of CompTIA certifications:

• Core Certifications (Entry-level)
  • Cover IT fundamentals
  • Examples: CompTIA A+, Network+, Security+
• Specialty Certifications (Mid-level)
  • Focus on specific areas
  • Examples: Cybersecurity, Data Analytics, Cloud Computing
• Professional Certifications (Advanced)
  • For experienced professionals
  • Examples: CompTIA CASP+, PenTest+

Official CompTIA Study Resources

1. CompTIA Learning and Training
   • Download practice questions, exam objectives, and study guides
2. Certification Study Guides and Books
   • Available in ebook and print formats
3. Online Learning Platform
   • Interactive online courses and study materials

Free CompTIA Study Resources

1. CompTIA Free Practice Tests
   • Get free practice test questions for CompTIA certification exams
2. Reddit Study Groups
   • Join online communities (e.g., CompTIA_) to connect with others studying for the exam
3. YouTube Study Channels
   • Channels like Professor Messer and CompTIA offer video study materials

Paid CompTIA Study Resources

1. Udemy Courses
   • Comprehensive online courses covering various CompTIA certifications
2. Pluralsight
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2. Practice, Practice, Practice
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Preparing for CompTIA certification exams requires dedication and the right study resources. By leveraging official CompTIA resources, free study materials, and paid study resources, you'll be well on your way to passing your exam and advancing your IT career. Remember to stay focused, practice regularly, and join online communities for support. Good luck on your exam!
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By utilizing these study resources and tips, you'll be well-prepared to tackle your CompTIA certification exam and take your IT career to the next level.

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

Long story, please bear with me because I want advice. May 19th was my 20th birthday. I wanted to go to Seattle and spend the day up there with my boyfriend (We’ll call him mark) and some friends. Anyway, we only had one set plan for the morning, and then the rest of the day was just exploring and doing whatever looked interesting. Anyways, I sent mark the link to a cafe in Seattle I wanted to go to so we could book reservations. He asked me what time I wanted it to be for and I said 10am, since the only times left were 9am, 10am, and 3pm. I told him 10am worked the best prior to him asking because our friends had to leave around 3pm for work. Anyway, when I replied, he had already made the reservations for 9am. He said “too late, it’s for 9”. Seattle is an hour and a half away from us so I was upset because I didn’t want to wake up that early. But I let it go and told him thanks for making the reservations because I chose to look at it at a positive way. Being there at 9am gave us all more time to be in Seattle.
Anyways, morning comes around, and my friend (We’ll call her Maria) texts me and asks if me and mark would like to meet up with her and her boyfriend zane at 7:45 at a local store. This was a plan made just that morning, but regardless nobody would have to wake up earlier to meet up with anyone. As time goes by I know my boyfriend isn’t awake because he hasn’t texted me, which he usually does. And I was alerted his phone was dead on Life360. I tell Maria we can’t meet them but we’ll see them at the cafe in Seattle. I drive all the way to marks to wake him up. Long story short I had to knock on his window because the back door was locked, which it NEVER is. Anyway i look in the window and his stepbrother wakes up from my knocking. For context marks stepbrother spends some weekends at marks house, they share a room. Mark opens the door and I follow mark to his bedroom door and I just say “Hey I’m sorry I woke you up”. I had no idea his stepbrother was there because his car wasn’t parked outside. He just says “kill yourself” in a super annoyed tone.
I was already kind of emotional that morning, because I took offense that my boyfriend didn’t wake up on my birthday and I had to come wake him up last minute. So the “kys” comment got to me, even though I’m good at taking jokes. Fast forward to the drive there, my boyfriend was buttering me up, which is super rare. He just took my hand in his and wished me a happy birthday and apologized for waking up late and kept telling me he loved me a lot. Anyway, the day kind of went downhill after the cafe. All of us were walking all around Seattle, and 90% of the time my boyfriend was walking ahead of me. Again for some context, my left leg is two inches shorter than my right, so lots of walking hurts my hips and makes me walk slower. My friend Maria noticed and would walk with me but after I would get back with my boyfriend and Maria with hers, I would fall back again. I said “Babe can you walk a little slower? Because my leg?” To which he replied “I’m trying to catch up with Maria and Zane. Also, every time we walk together you always fall behind anyways.” Also, he wouldn’t hold my hand. I saw how Zane held Maria and put his arm around her or his hand on her waist and mark maybe held my hand in 30 second intervals.
Anyway, nearing the end of the story, after we drive home, my friend comes over and drops off the presets she got me. It’s 5pm at this point and I still wanted to go home and spend my birthday with my parents. Birthdays have always made me feel a bit awkward because I’m not a fan of opening gifts while people are watching, I feel guilty for some reason haha, or like I’m spoiled. Anyways, I was looking forward to the gift my boyfriend mark got me the most, because a few days prior he told me he was leaving to buy me stuff. Anyways, I hated to ask mark this, but I was about to go home so I said “Can I have my gift now?”. He said “Seattle was your gift, it was expensive and you’re an expensive person.” He was smiling while saying this, so he was half joking, but I was a little taken aback. I didn’t wanna seem like a spoiled brat so I played off the awkwardness by saying “Oh ok, didn’t you say you went to the store though?” He said “Yeah but they couldn’t do what I wanted that day and I didn’t feel like going back any of the other days.” I said “Oh alright well are you going to get it?” His response was “Probably not.” I played it off really well, I wasn’t showing that I was upset in anyway really, I just got a quieter, because I really didn’t want to seem like a spoiled brat.
Also, on Saturday, the day before my birthday, my boyfriend mark went fishing with his friend and spent over 100 dollars on equipment and a fishing license. Saturday night was a bbq at his friends house and I attended. While all of us (friends and such) were sitting in the living room I told mark that we had two options for dinner, he interrupted me mid sentence and said in front of everyone “I’m not sure how much you’re expecting me to spend but it’s not much.” Again, I played it off, and said “alright well that’s okay I was just letting you know.” My boyfriend is an electrician and makes (I think) either 23 or 24 an hour. I feel like he shouldn’t have said that in front of everyone. It was indecent. Also, I heard from my friend (the one who dropped off the gifts) that when all of the boys were outside my boyfriend was complaining about how much he’s gonna have to spend on me, to which her boyfriend responded “dude it’s her fucking birthday shut the hell up.” Also, I’m sure other Washingtonians know that pikes place has a huge variety of flowers. It was my first time there, and I got excited and said “ooh I want flowers!” My boyfriend sighed and his friend Zane said “dude it’s her birthday you got that”. He in fact did not have that. I didn’t get flowers hahaha
Anyways, I was quiet a few minutes before I left. I asked if he wanted to come over for cake with my family. To which he responded “I mean I could.” I just left. 2 minutes away from my house, he called me and said he’d be over in an hour with gifts. Now this part makes me feel the absolute worst, because I don’t wanna sound ungrateful at all, but I saw on Life360 that he went to goodwill, I think a rite aid and a dollar tree for my gifts. This made me sad because I didn’t want a sympathy gift, especially one that wasn’t thought out at all. But when I got it I smiled and kept saying appreciative things. Like for example, he got me a book that says “100 things to do in Tacoma.” I told him “this helps a lot actually because I never know what to do thank you babe!” . I am grateful , I’m grateful that he still made an effort after I was sad, and I really do like the gifts he got me, because they weren’t bad. Just not thought out at all. Anyway he ate a slice of cake and left after that. I was talking to my friends about how sad I was about the day, especially because I cried on my birthday. Am I the asshole for talking to my friends about how upset I was about the gifts and the day in general?

Good news! I have 2 different rips of Etcetera in the drive under The Twilight Singers folder of the AW/TS/Gutter Twins/Dulli drive of rarities I've been sharing with folks! The first rip had some substantial issues with pops, clicks, etc, but I was able to clean those up really well.
Unfortunately, Fair Colonus, which is really just a Shawn Smith solo, vocal only track cover of a song from the play Godspell, (and has been available on youtube for years), feeds back into electronic noise on both recordings at multiple points. The other 10 tracks, thankfully came out much better! The second rip, the person used a lot more gain and their record speed is slower. I prefer the mix without more gain, but the one with more gain is interesting too. As for the tracks themselves, here’s my take on the songs and where they come from. Give a listen when you can and let me know if you disagree on any of my notes below:
Etcetera
1 Black Love – Different recording than what plays on the credits of Monument Avenue, shorter and has an intro
2 Glass Of You – Seems to be same as Twilight (Demos) version
3 Deepest Shade - Seems to be same as Twilight (Demos) version
4 Fair Colonus –same as Shawn Smith version released years ago on myspace and findable on youtube – Both rips of this in the drive feed back.
5 Domani – same as Black Is the Color of My True Love's Hair and Amber Headlights
6 Two Kinds – previously unreleased
7 Andiamo – slightly shorter version of the Powder Burns emusic bonus track. May be the same recording edited.
8 Candy Cane Crawl (Fast Version) - May be the same recording as the Rhapsody Powder Burns bonus track, but sounds a lot thinner.
9 Paper Thin Hotel – Shorter, cuts the fade
10 When Doves Cry – Seems to be the same as on Purplish Rain
11 Don’t Call – seems to be same recording as 51A - Dynamite Steps Bonus CD but trims the fade out.
Send me a message and I’ll hook you up with the drive info. when I get a chance. If Fair Colonus doesn't feed back on the vinyl itself, if I'm able to get a clean copy, I'll update the track.

So, Parasect was kind of sad. Its best metagame by far was Gen 1 ZU, and it has basically never been relevant since. Poor guy. Let's see if the other gen 1 two-stage bug will do better.
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Venomoth has similarly low stats to Parasect, but replaces access to overpowered move Spore with access to overpowered move Quiver Dance, along with a MUCH better defensive typing in Bug/Poison. I admittedly have never used Venomoth, but it surely has to be better than Parasect.
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Let's see our metagames:
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Gen 1 NU: Venomoth is a Poison-type in Generation 1, which is never a good thing to be. OU and UU were ever out of reach for this guy, but it established for itself a strong niche in RBY NU as a solid Double Powder user with a good speed tier and an unusual typing. Its low offenses mean its utility outside of this is limited, but given how important Sleep and Paralysis are in Generation 1, that's more or less enough to make it viable here on its own. Or, at least, it was. Poliwhirl, Poliwrath, and Venusaur have come to NU, and all of these bring something to the table that Venomoth doesn't, and I wouldn't be surprised if Venomoth falls into lower - however Venomoth does still bring to the table being FASTER than any of these sleepers, so it brings something even with its lack of offensive presence. The previous VR ranks Venomoth at A rank, but it can't truly be known where it stands now.
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Gen 2 PU: Ah yes, a fairly weak bug/poison type. Let's nerf its special bulk. Game Freak, why do you hate bugs so much? Well, it's certainly not all bad - Psychic has been hugely nerfed, and Fighting has been majorly buffed. Venomoth takes almost no damage from Fighting moves and carries Psychic to have relevant Fighting-types like Hitmontop (formerly Hitmonchan, but it has since been banned.) In fact, it's arguably one of the strongest threats in this low tier with its sheer versatility in utility and access to weird moves like Reflect, Sludge Bomb, and Giga Drain to help cement it as a strong Mon in this low tier. The current VR lists it as A+ rank, but with it no longer fearing Body Slam paralysis from Hitmonchan, it might be even better. The new Steel type doesn't exist in GSC PU at all.
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Gen 3 NU: Generation 3 has come and blessed Venomoth with its less well known ability, Shield Dust. With access to Baton Pass for pivoting and continued access to Sleep Powder, along with its continued good-speed-for-the-low-tiers as we've yet to enter the era of speed creep, Venomoth cements its role as a dedicated lead, to sleep a relevant threat, substitute, and Baton Pass the substitute to another Pokemon. In terms of power, there's not much, although Psychic and Sludge Bomb can hit some relevant mons, occasionally. Its main niche is offensive teams that really appreciate the momentum Venomoth brings to the table. The current VR ranks Venomoth as B rank.
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Gen 4 NU: Generation 4 is when Venomoth began to get its traits considered iconic to the Mon in modern generations, with the ability Tinted Lens to no longer care about resisted moves, the physical/special split giving it better use of its stabs, and the powerful Bug Buzz supplanting Psychic as its main offensive move. U-Turn allows it to pivot while dealing chip damage, Toxic Spikes gives it an interesting new hazard, Roost gives reliable recovery, Choice Specs access along with its new Tinted Lens makes it difficult to switch into...overall, Venomoth is eating decently well in DPP NU, even with how limited information about this tier is. The VR currently places Venomoth in A- rank, an improvement from last gen.
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Gen 5 UU (RUBL): And here is where Venomoth got its real claim to fame - in an effort to buff the Bug Type, Game Freak gave some special Bugs access to Quiver Dance, the best set-up move in the game, boosting its speed, special defense, and special attack all at once - and with Venomoth's speed no longer being up to par on its own, that boost really helps it. Almost too much, as it rose from NU and got itself banned from RU for being overcentralizing to an absurd degree, with Quiver Dance and Tinted Lens being almost unstoppable. Despite not being officially UU by usage, it's actually pretty solid here, with bulky Quiver Dance sets pulling off the UU version of infamous brute Volcarona's nonsense, with the extra bonus of Sleep not being banned in UU allowing it to continue to use Sleep Powder to give it more comfortable setup opportunities. Being weak to Stealth Rock is a bit of a bummer for it, but it still functions. Even with Baton Pass's banning, Venomoth continues to be very solid in the tier, with the official VR ranking Venomoth at B rank.
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Gen 6 UU (RUBL): Venomoth saw a little bit of a dip in viability here, albeit getting banned from RU the same way it did in BW. Tinted Lens actually allows Venomoth to run a mono-attacking set, with Bug Buzz as its only attacking move due to how few things double-resist Bug, and Roost keeping itself healthy alongside Sleep Powder and/or Substitute to set up. This along with its bread and butter quiver dance setup set continues to allow Venomoth to work its magic, albeit being weak to Stealth Rock continues to be an issue for it, as it often can't switch in multiple times. The current VR ranks Venomoth at B- rank.
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Gen 7 UU (RUBL): A third RUBL placement. They keep trying this guy in RU, and it keeps not working out for RU. Unfortunately, it didn't pull off a trifecta of being a technically-RUBL-pokemon-still-good-in-UU three gens in a row. Z-moves make Venomoth's bread and butter setup sets more difficult to pull off, even if it can use the z-moves effectively itself. Don't get me wrong, it can still sweep given the right support, but given how the best pokemon in the tier is Scizor, which can also pull off setup sweeps, along with competition from better-statted mons like Nihilego, there just isn't much reason to use Venomoth in SM UU. The current VR ranks Venomoth at C rank, and BW UU will be excluded from the rankings.
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With Gen 8 excluded by default due to dexit, Venomoth has six tiers for us to look at and - I'm going to be honest, I don't actually think there's a clear winner. It's not every day a BL-type pokemon sees play in the actual tier it's legal in, and it's nice that Venomoth's pulled it off twice. But let's ask again - what do you think Venomoth's best metagame is, and if there's anything I overlooked or failed to note, please comment!
View Poll

If you do a "good" playthrough and spare Karlach, break Wyll's Warlock contract and convince Karlach to live, you're turning Wyll into a devil, taking away his powers and sending him to Hell to be killed since he's just a regular guy at that point.
If you do an evil playthrough Wyll likely either leaves your party or you sacrifice him to BOOAL.
Combine this with how lame Wyll is in comparison to the other characters and the only conclusion that can be drawn is that Swen Vincke hates himself and wishes that he were a beautiful, benevolent black folk hero.

I’ve noticed that when I (a cis man) first start chatting with a woman on WhatsApp, I take my time responding to her messages. Initially, I criticized myself for this behavior, thinking, "Why are you making her wait? Do you think you're so special that you can afford to make her wait that long?" Then I questioned this belief. I value myself enough not to come across as someone who doesn't care about a person's character or the slow and beautiful process of building a romantic relationship, treating it instead like a factory worker handling goods, rushing to seal the deal. Do you think it’s arrogant to take your time responding, or is it the right thing to do because it shows appreciation and respect for both yourself and the other person?

The title of the post says most of it but I live in a place with horrible outlet placements relative to the windows. I have a small window AC and need an extension cord to connect it. I know that it can be dangerous with the wrong cord so I’m curious what type of cord would work based on the AC unit’s metrics in the attached image. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

1) The contract situation: If we get Saros we're most likely signing him to an extension. I can't see the Leafs trading him at the deadline nor can I see them just letting him walk at the end of the year for nothing. This likely means we're looking at a contract between 6-8 years north of 8 million. This is problematic for a number of reasons:
a) Goalies tend not to age very well. Even generational/hall of fame goalies such as Brodeur, Price and Lundqvist to name a few have trouble playing past 35 whilst being elite and living up to their contract. Signing Saros to a long term contract would mean we're primarily paying him when he's past his prime. This is a big concern.
b) We've been developing Woll for 8 years, and signing Saros to a fat extension pretty much means we've relegated Woll as a secondary option or a trade piece. For someone whose shown so much potential and come up big in key moments, this just doesn't make a lot of sense. Granted, Wolls injury concerns are totally valid but it still doesn't mean we have to give up on him as a Starter entirely.
2) Saros' track record: There's no denying that Saros is a high end goalie, but I think he's being slightly overrated. He's started more than 40 games 3 times in his career, 2 of which were very respectable (but not other worldly) and this past season which was below average. This is in conjunction with a playoff record where he's been below average: -1.2 GSAA and of his 16 playoff starts only half of them have been qualified as a quality start. Playing Goalie in Toronto is extremely challenging and so far in his career Saros just hasn't shown he can carry a team in the playoffs.
3) The benefits of getting Askarov: I've seen people say Nashville would never trade Askarov but they were shopping him last year, and they're looking for a high end forward, so I think it's very realistic they trade him. There would be a lot of benefits if we traded for him instead of Saros:
a) He's on an entry level contract for the next few years which means we'll have 30M this offseason to reshape the team. That would allow us to sign 2 top 4 RD and a 2C like Lindholm and still have 10M to play with to fill out the rest of the team.
b) You can let him and Woll share the net and see who emerges as the true starter. Woll has shown he can make huge saves and play in big moments so having him go 50/50 with Askarov in the regular season and then take the net in the playoffs would be a great short term plan while Askarov gets more experience.
c) If Askarov flourishes and wants a bigger role we own his RFA rights so there's a lot more flexibility in terms of what we can do with him. With Saros, we'd be signing him long term, relegating Woll to a backup and hoping Saros works out. With Askarov, if he outgrows his role we have a good problem with two capable goalies and can flip one for other assets. The flexibility here can't be understated.
4) You dont need a bonafide top 5 goalie to win the cup: This isn't to say having one is bad, just that it's not necessary. With Goaltending, its about getting hot at the right time. Vegas won the cup recently with what was originally a 3rd stringer. Binnington came out of nowhere and carried the Blues in '19, likewise with Matt Murray in 16/17 for the Pens. In his short time here Woll has shown a tendency to just come up huge and make big saves. I remember there was a point this year where he'd stopped like 18-20 shots in a row in 3v3 over multiple games which is impressive when you consider those are all essentially high danger chances. Take that in conjunction with how he played in the playoffs and you can see my point about how you just need someone to make big saves and get hot at the right time, Woll can do that.
Having Askarov and Woll as a tandem would allow for a cheap, flexible option in goal that allows us to spend on other parts of our roster. We don't need either of them to be Vezina winners to have success, just to make key saves and not let a shitty soft goal in. The amount of cap room we would have by taking on Askarov and dumping Marner would allow us to fill every hole we've been talking about for years. We would also likely get other pieces back with Askarov which would help us out even more. If you get a player like Luke Evangelista you've suddenly replaced 45 of Marner's 95 points for 800k.
From Nashville's perspective, they're trying to win a cup and given they can add one of the best RW in the league without moving any contracts out, or removing a player from their roster that finished with nearly 100 points is exactly the kind of trade they'd make. They've wanted a high end forward for years and now they can finally get one, and they'd be trading from a position of strength to make it happen.
For Marner, he can go to one of the most beloved markets for players, get paid as much as he wants, have a low profile and still be on a competitive team.

When it comes to securing your cryptocurrency, the choice of hardware wallet is crucial. While Ledger has its supporters, especially those influenced by prominent figures in the crypto world, it's important to understand why Trezor, with its open-source software, is a superior choice. Here's a detailed and persuasive explanation that addresses the key issues with Ledger and highlights the advantages of Trezor.
Transparency and Security Open-source software means that the code is publicly available for anyone to review and audit. This transparency is a cornerstone of cryptocurrency, ensuring that the software is secure and free from hidden vulnerabilities. Trezor’s software is completely open-source, which allows independent security experts to examine the code and identify any potential issues. For instance, in 2017, the open-source community quickly addressed a potential flaw in Trezor’s system, reinforcing the device’s security.
Trust Through Verification In the cryptocurrency space, the principle is "Don't trust, verify." Trezor embodies this principle by allowing anyone with technical expertise to verify the security of its code. This means you don't have to rely solely on the company's assurances; you can see for yourself that there are no hidden backdoors or malicious code. This level of transparency is impossible with Ledger’s closed-source software, where users must take the company's word for its security measures.
Issues with Ledger
Lack of Transparency Ledger uses closed-source software, meaning the code is proprietary and not available for public review. This lack of transparency forces users to place a high level of trust in the company, which contradicts the decentralized and trustless ethos of cryptocurrency. Closed-source software can contain vulnerabilities or backdoors that only the developers know about, potentially putting users at risk.
Security Incidents Ledger has had several notable security incidents that highlight the risks of closed-source software. In 2020, Ledger suffered a significant data breach, exposing the personal information of over 270,000 customers. Although the breach did not directly compromise the hardware wallets, it raised serious concerns about Ledger’s overall security practices.
Furthermore, in 2018, a security researcher discovered a vulnerability in Ledger’s hardware wallet that could allow an attacker to install malware. Due to the closed-source nature of the software, it took Ledger several months to release a firmware update to fix the issue. During this time, users were potentially exposed to risk.
Potential for Data Release Ledger, as a closed-source company, can be compelled by legal authorities to release user data if subpoenaed. This means that in certain circumstances, your personal information and transaction history could be handed over to government agencies. Trezor, on the other hand, operates on an open-source model and is committed to user privacy. The open-source community would resist any attempts to undermine user privacy, providing an additional layer of protection against unauthorized data release.
Why Trezor is the Better Choice!
Adherence to Decentralization Principles Trezor’s open-source philosophy is not just about transparency; it is about adhering to the core values of cryptocurrency. Decentralization and transparency are foundational principles that ensure no single entity has control over the network. Trezor’s commitment to open-source software aligns perfectly with these principles, whereas Ledger’s closed-source approach introduces unnecessary trust in a centralized entity.
Community-Driven Security The strength of Trezor lies in its community. The open-source model means that developers and security experts around the world can contribute to its security and functionality. This collaborative approach ensures continuous improvement and rapid responses to potential threats. Ledger’s closed system, however, limits community contributions, potentially slowing down the identification and resolution of security issues.
True Ownership and Control By choosing Trezor, users are not just purchasing a product; they are embracing the principles of true ownership and control over their assets. The transparency and accountability of open-source software ensure that users have full control over their hardware wallets. This stands in stark contrast to Ledger, where the lack of transparency undermines the security and trust that users should be able to place in their wallet.
Conclusion While prominent figures may endorse Ledger, it's essential to look beyond endorsements and understand the fundamental differences between closed-source and open-source software. Trezor’s open-source nature provides unparalleled transparency, security, and adherence to the principles of decentralization. The issues with Ledger, including its lack of transparency, history of security incidents, and potential for data release, underscore the importance of choosing a hardware wallet that truly aligns with the ethos of cryptocurrency.
By choosing Trezor, you are not only ensuring the highest level of security for your assets but also supporting the principles of transparency and decentralization that make cryptocurrency revolutionary. Trusting in open-source systems means trusting in a community-driven approach to security and innovation, which is the foundation of a secure and trustworthy crypto ecosystem.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this text is for educational purposes only and should not be considered financial or investment advice. Please conduct your own research and due diligence. Do not blindly follow or listen to advice, even from wealthy individuals. Always make informed decisions based on your understanding and consult with a trusted advisor if needed. The views and opinions expressed in this discussion are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other individual, organization, or company mentioned.

Hi all!
I am planning to elope with my fiancé next year. It's not a traditional elopement - we intend on bringing our parents, and I've extended the invite to my sister and her husband as well. We really want a small, no-fuss, fun, easy trip that will be a funny memory to share. The trip will be about 4 days long.
For context, we're doing a dinner party in our hometown the week before that will be the 'reception'. It is more of a traditional reception. We're expecting 150 people, renting out a restaurant and providing the food, etc. It's really for my in-laws - my fiancé has a big family that really wanted to do a celebration, so we figured why not.
I made it clear to my sister from the get go that although I wanted her to come to Vegas, there was NO pressure for her to come. The real 'party' will be the week before in any event with the whole family. I made a point of emphasizing this because I know that it's an expensive trip (just flights and hotels will be about $2k a couple), they just bought a house, and they aren't super well off. I find it tacky to ask for this much money from family, and for that reason I feel very fortunate to be able to pay for my parents' trip, but I unfortunately can't afford to extend that offer to my sister. She's aware of this. I could maybe help out with her flight costs, but wouldn't be able to pay for her husband, so I haven't even brought it up because I felt like it was an unfair offer.
Now... we were talking about this recently and she started mentioning that she was picturing bringing her baby to the elopement. She was saying it will be a shame that the baby can't fly for free (baby will be 2 by the time we go on the trip), that baby would be well behaved, we wouldn't have to worry about it, etc. I glossed over it in the moment, because honestly, I never thought that was on the table. I figured she would never want to bring a toddler to Vegas, and if she came, she would be leaving the kid at home with her husband. I was shocked that we were on different pages there, but it's on me for not having communicated appropriately.
I've been thinking it over, and I firmly do not want the toddler there. This isn't a kid-friendly trip - we'll be going out to dinners, bars, casinos, maybe even a gun range (hey, it's Vegas). I just want to get married and have a fun trip and be spontaneous. I don't want to deal with the logistics of a toddler. We'll be such a small group that I think it will really change the dynamics. When there's a toddler involved, of course you need to accommodate them - and frankly, I don't want to. I also don't want my sister paying for this trip and then sitting in her hotel room with the toddler. My sister has options here - she can leave the toddler with her husband (I don't think the husband has offered this. Or she doesn't trust him. Which is a whole other thing...), ask her in-laws to take care, or simply not come!
Rant aside - what is the best way to deliver this message to her? Am I totally missing that I'm being a jerk here? How should I best communicate that I don't want the baby there, without starting WW3??
TL;DR: my sister wants to bring her toddler to Vegas for my elopement/mini wedding. I don't want the toddler there, and want advice on whether I'm being a jerk - and if not, how best to talk to her about this.

I'm sleeping so much because not only is life a void without human intimacy and love, but also because there's nothing to mentally cling to to give myself some stability or foothold in the world. The constant feeling of slipping is itself a disaster that haunts me every second of every day, especially when things are good because I know immediately that it's just an illusion.
When I was younger I used to have dreams about being in one life but then I would wake up in my own life and realise I was living a nightmare. I think this really confused my understanding of what dreams and reality were and stuck with me in some way.
Thursday I'm going to do group therapy and my experience is that usually I feel much worse after, but I'm hoping there's some self correction to stirring up the shit then letting it settle again.
Repeating the process over and over along with other healthy habits maybe I can achieve some sort of piece.
I'm grateful that these days the nightmares are when I'm asleep. I guess it's probably weird to be grateful for nightmares but I know I can wake up and that's not my life. Before I had no way to escape, for about 20 years of my life give or take. You think time is just clicking on the clock but it's not, it's perception is relative to our states, think about when we are hungry or doing a plank, or in awe of something wonderful.
There's no way to explain how time passed and I am expected to get over it without others understanding. Even if it is possible, which I doubt it is, it doesn't mean my ability to form relationships will necessarily change, that could be hardwired.
But I'm already low functioning and can't hold a job so I might as well do something I think I have an advantage too as I have pretty solid ideas about teaoms not to use drugs or drink. Having recently had an epiphany about meth which was sporadic during my life up until this point I can tell I'll probably never use it again. Though who knows what a few more years of dread and isolation can cause.
Fuckin weird shit. And I'm not trying to complain either I'm just literally explaining my situation in factual detail. This is just the way things are and always have been. I am grateful for my life now especially but if it comes time for me to choose it again or move on I would say to god "just find someone else man I am not doing this again, find someone else for this one" lol. Next.

Hi all,
my father-in-law was the victim of a typical crypto scam. He is over 60 and started looking around on crypto portals and of course left personal contact information there. It didn't take long and a friendly guy, german speaking, got in touch and convinced him via telegram of a top investment in crypto. he transferred € 200. Everything went wonderfully and the 200 € were suddenly 400 € on his account (on a webapplication with no terms of use or anything professional).
you can probably guess the rest. over time, my father-in-law became so motivated that he even transferred over €25,000 in total.
Yesterday he told us about how good everything is going and we immediately realized what was going on.
After we told him, he tried to have a small amount withdrawed from his account. I told him to start with a small amount and let the scammers believe that he still trusts them. Very surprisingly, there are now problems with the payout. Of the €3000 requested, €500 have now been transferred. Well, at least a bit, but it's clear that this is just to build trust.
We have already been to the police and filed a complaint, they have all the necessary information but my hopes are very low that the fraudsters will be caught. they speak the same language as us (German) but are probably based abroad (according to them in Austria).
As already mentioned, the scammers still believe that my father-in-law trusts them. We have their phone numbers and bank accounts and he is in contact with them by chat and phone call.
Now the reason why I am turning to this community. Since I have little faith in the success of the police, I would like to try it myself. Since the scammers still trust him, I thought it could likely be that they would open a link from my father-in-law (with a corresponding story). If this link would be able to track his position, or even better to hack his camera, I'm hoping to threaten the scammers that if they don't transfer the money back, his identity will be handed over to the police etc. and generally scare them. I'm a software developer myself, but I really have no idea about cybersecurity.
What would you guys recommend? Are there any (really trusted) hacker portals I can try to find someone who could help me? How much effort does it take to program such a script/virus, is an advanced developer with 5 years experience in languages like R, Java able to develop something like this with existing help platforms/tools? What do you think generally about this idea?
I am grateful for any tips!

I’m getting really run down right now. My wife and I have been married 7 years with 2 beautiful boys. I want to move back to my hometown, where my parents still reside. My wife gets incredibly anxious about the thought and feels she cannot do it, it’s too scary at the thought. I’m not sure how we can move forward with our relationship if we can’t give this a try.
Background on why: I am the breadwinner with a remote, fantastic job. Can work anywhere—approved already by employer. My wife and I have 2 boys—one of which has several health challenges that we are working our best on him with: OT, Psyches, doctors, our own home therapy and parent practices, it’s very hard, and has been VERY hard on my wife. He is in preschool 5 days a week 9-3. Our 2yo is what you’d call more “typical” compared to his brother at 2. However, he is an awful, awful sleeper. Still cosleeping but waking 3-6 times a night. My wife cannot bring herself to try and help sleep “train” him (we would train him together) to be more self sufficient at sleeping, but constantly complains about how much he is up and how tired she is. I’m up with the boys every morning at 5:30 when the older boys wakes, then with the 2yo between 6-6:30 when he’s up and I let her sleep some more. I cook almost all meals, play, take them outdoors, to the store, do school drop off and pick up, dishes, laundry, etc. I feel I do quite a lot comparatively.
I’m running out of steam. My wife also recently had what I can only reasonably term as a mental breakdown when one of the boys became sick (a stomach bug), and it’s had a prolonged effect on her for a long time now. I got her to a crisis center and helped her finally get a therapist and a psychiatrist. I had been advocating for a year that she needs a therapist, since she stopped seeing her PPD therapist. She still sets off with anger, especially with our struggling 5yo, and gets severely overwhelmed with what I can only term as “life.” An example is she gets overwhelmed thinking what she wants for dinner. I’ve been balancing working at home full time with taking care of the youngest (while she’s trying to as well—but asks for help daily) and helping our oldest before and after school with all of his appointments—which are weekly, along with all the other life planning and tasks.
Her mom passed (by suicide) when she was young, her dad is around superficially and rarely visits. Her stepmom is nuts and toxic. She has 3 sisters, one I would say has now become toxic. The other two attempt to help, but are legitimately busy with their young kids and jobs and life. We are on an island. My family is 1000 miles away. My parents and siblings (with kids) visit more than her dad has. The friends I’ve made since moving for my career have actually moved away, for various reasons.
I want to move back to my hometown to be near my family, as they will provide our family with the support we need—particularly with our boys, but my parents, particularly my mom, wants to help her too. Our boys are terrific with my parents. It would provide myself with a great sense of relief too, as I feel I have little to no support where we’re at. Not to mention the cost of living will go down significantly—that’d just be a tertiary net gain. The thought of relocating terrifies my wife, change in general does. But life has just not improved whatsoever since we’ve become parents.
Trying to discuss this topic, or any topic of any significance or seriousness, causes my wife extreme anxiety. We’re paddling upstream against rapids all the time it feels. I’m not sure how much longer I can last in this environment—or our family tbh.
I think it’s become necessary to try a big change, to build something new for us with far more support and away from the drama and toxicity my wife has here. But moving for her seems impossible and too daunting. Her social network is full of similar stuff and doesn’t see her friends much, because she complains of their lifestyles (often involving drugs and alcohol) and the fact most don’t have kids and they stir the pot A LOT with drama, which causes her additional stress.
I’m trying to navigate how this can go from here. I want to be the leader and say “we need to give this a try” because I feel if we don’t, we’re doomed. Anyone been in any semblance of this situation?
TL;DR: I want to move back near my family for more support and build a better life. My wife is terrified at the thought, and feels she cannot do it. I’m drowning and our family NEEDS support, which we will get if we move. Advice?