Unblocked facebook
Narcissistic Abuse
2013.10.14 00:27 DrLamLam Narcissistic Abuse
This is a safe place for people who suffered, or are currently suffering from narcissistic abuse to seek support, learn, vent, discuss, document their abuse, and come together in their path towards healing. Please read the community guidelines, and show respect and kindness to each other.
2014.04.08 04:48 shinerdawg Ex No Contact
Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. Our members listen, support, and encourage each other on their path to independence.
2024.05.21 09:42 throwaway_200145 WIBTA IF I TOLD MY EX-BEST FRIENDS FAMILY THAT THEY MAY BE THE REASON IM BEING HARRASSED
I 25 F had a best friend 25 F who I have known for 10+ years. We met super young and just had a bond. For some background my ex friend who I'll call B is chronically online. They revolve their whole life around the internet and the people they meet. I didn't have a problem with this until recently. B is transgender FtM and has dozens of Facebook accounts where they tend to post soft core đ˝ of themselves. Awhile back they made a post asking people who wanted to be hidden from their content. I told them I had their accounts unfollowed due to issues with Facebooks notifications not turning off for me. I'd like to mention I have every single person on my account unfollowed for this same reason. Family, friends, pages etc. A few people said my response was rude and hateful. I explained why I said what I said but it still wasn't enough. A few hours later my comment was removed. Several days go by and I noticed while looking for Bs account to message them that I couldn't find it nor could I locate about 22 other individuals. I panicked and checked my block list and saw all 23 people had been randomly blocked. While in the middle of unblocking people my account suddenly signed out. I begin freaking out and tried to contact B another way but I was removed on everything. Upon looking at my email I found that my FB had been reported 176 times. I contacted support and they provided me what had been reported and why. When I asked why had people been blocked Fb support claimed it was similar to when I report someone and can block them but the opposite as well as something they took into their hands until they could investigate the claims made against me. I tried contacting Bs family and tried to explain to them what had happened but they didn't seem to care.
Several weeks go by and I still haven't gotten my account back but I started getting messages from people I didn't know claiming to be friends with B. These messages ranged from threats of doxing, calling CPS, getting my partner involved, and most recently to off myself. I was called transphobic for not wanting to support Bs *orn stuff. The list goes on. I kept ignoring and blocking people but it's just gotten the point I can't anymore. I don't wanna believe B knows this is happening but any attempt to reach them is ignored or met with hostility from others. My only opinion is to reach out to Bs parents again and explain to them what's been going on so that maybe B will contact me and I can stop all of this. So WIBTA?
submitted by throwaway_200145 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Several weeks go by and I still haven't gotten my account back but I started getting messages from people I didn't know claiming to be friends with B. These messages ranged from threats of doxing, calling CPS, getting my partner involved, and most recently to off myself. I was called transphobic for not wanting to support Bs *orn stuff. The list goes on. I kept ignoring and blocking people but it's just gotten the point I can't anymore. I don't wanna believe B knows this is happening but any attempt to reach them is ignored or met with hostility from others. My only opinion is to reach out to Bs parents again and explain to them what's been going on so that maybe B will contact me and I can stop all of this. So WIBTA?
2024.05.21 02:18 Worst_Artist The Best SEO Plumber Guide From an Industry Expert
 | https://preview.redd.it/14fax0379o1d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b6ca3fdd40489292ac13df11619863b6f9d4696 submitted by Worst_Artist to PlumberSEO [link] [comments] Every month âplumbers near meâ is searched up to 850,000 times globally. To thrive, your plumbing business needs to be visible where most potential customers are searching, Google. This guide will provide you with top Plumber SEO tips to enhance your plumbing businessâs online visibility. First, what is Plumber SEO? Plumber SEO (Search Engine Optimization) is the practice of affecting local search engine rankings for plumbers. Why You Should Do Plumber SEO Plumber SEO is crucial because it helps your plumbing service appear in search results when potential customers in your target area look for the services you offer. A cool 54% of all clicks go to the top three organic search results. If youâre not effective with SEO youâre invisible organically. Can You Do Plumber SEO Yourself? Yes, you can certainly get started with the basics of Plumber SEO, but advanced SEO, with some elements of Technical SEO, may require a specialist. The most accessible way to stay abreast of updates is through reputable sources like Barry Schwartz and Lily Ray. Learn useful techniques by following experienced Local SEO professionals like Joy Hawkins and Darren Shaw. 1. Optimize Your Google Business ProfileGoogle Local Map PackTo appear in Googleâs local search results, including the Map Pack, start with your Google Business Profile (GBP). Claim and Set Up Your Google Profile. If youâre not on the map already, add your business name and category. Choose a primary category such as âPlumberâ and you can add more later for more specific services like Gas Installation Service, Drainage Service, or Bathroom Remodeler. Complete Your Profile DetailsReview Darren Shawâs Whitespark Local Search Ranking Factors to see how you should prioritize your time.If youâre here doing pre-research before you even start a plumbing business take advantage of the knowledge that the keywords in your business name and the proximity to the location you want to rank in are top-ranking factors. Set up your service area and you can choose up to 20 locations, but the guideline is that it must be no longer than a 2-hour drive from where your business is based. 2. Local NAP CitationsMost business directories list your business name, address, and phone number. These listings are known as NAP citations.Local Data AggregatorsYou can either use a data aggregator service like Data Axle and Foursquare to list you on multiple directories.Thereâs also Whitespark who offer customizable citations and connections to large data aggregators. Get Listed with Free Local DirectoriesYou can also take care of some of the free ones first.Once youâre verified for Google Business Profile you can import your business onto Bing as well with a few clicks. Donât forget to get listed on Yelp as well since Apple Map searches rely on data from Yelp. Facebook, X (Formerly Twitter), LinkedIn Business and Instagram also allow you to put your address. YellowPages, Better Business Bureau, Nextdoor and Manta are some free ones to get listed on as well. Paid Plumber DirectoriesConsider paid services for citations such as Angiâs List, HomeAdvisor, and your local Chamber of Commerce.Put Your Address on Your SitePlace your address at the bottom of your footer exactly how itâs shown on Google and embed the map to help customers easily access leaving you a review.3. Boost Your ReviewsReviews not only enhance your credibility but also improve your SEO rankings. Here are some effective ways to gather more reviews:
4. Keyword ResearchUnderstanding what potential customers search for helps tailor your website content to meet their needs. Effective keyword research is the foundation of successful SEO.List Your ServicesStart by making a comprehensive list of all the plumbing services you offer. Think about every specific service you provide, no matter how niche.A detailed list might include: Drain unblocking, Burst pipe repair, Drain Cleaning, Toilet installation, Water heater repair, Sewer line inspection and repair. Use Keyword ToolsOnce you have your list of services, the next step is to use keyword research tools to find relevant keywords that potential customers are searching for.Google Keyword Planner Google Keyword Planner Googleâs Keyword Planner is an ultimate keyword research tool thatâs free and can help you find keywords, helpful insights, and discover new keywords. Enter Your ServicesDiscover New Keywords Google Keyword PlannerInput the list of services you created into the tool. For example, if you offer âdrain cleaningâ enter this term into the Keyword Planner Discover New Keywords followed by your target city. Analyze Keyword SuggestionsThe tool will generate a list of related keywords, showing their search volumes and competition levels. Look for keywords with a high search volume and low to medium competition. These are the sweet spots that can drive significant traffic to your site.Include Local Geographic ModifiersAdd local modifiers to your keywords to target searches in your service area. For example, âdrain cleaning near meâ or âemergency plumber [your city].â This helps attract customers who are looking for services in specific locations.Now Iâve found a low competition keyword thatâs a longtail keyword (keyword phrase with 3+ words) â24 hour emergency plumber Atlantaâ. Check out Keyword Surfer from Matt Diggity to get even more keyword data for free. You can also see the estimated monthly traffic a website domain gets. 5. Website Content & OptimizationPlumber Website ExampleCreate Service Specific PagesBy creating dedicated, optimized pages for each service, you can attract more targeted traffic and convert visitors into customers. These pages not only improve your SEO but also provide valuable information to potential clients, helping them choose your services with confidence.Unique Selling PointsHighlight what makes your service unique. This could be your experience, certifications, special equipment, or customer satisfaction guarantees.Include positive reviews and testimonials from satisfied customers. This builds trust and credibility with potential clients. Contact PageMake it easy for visitors to get in touch with you. Throughout your site link to a contact page. Provide your phone number, email address, and a web form for inquiries with your address shown and your service area. Including a call-to-action (CTA) encourages potential customers to take the next step.Craft Compelling ContentEach service page should clearly describe the service, its benefits, and why customers should choose you. Include certifications, unique selling points, and customer testimonials to build trust.Create engaging and informative content such as blog posts, FAQs, and plumbing tips to attract and retain visitors. Demonstrate your expertise and authority with pictures from job sites and speak from first-hand knowledge. 6. Build a Strong Link ProfileGuest blogging and engaging in community participation are free ways to build high-quality backlinks and establish your authority in the plumbing industry.Identify Target BlogsFind blogs in the plumbing, home improvement, and DIY niches that accept guest posts. Look for blogs with a good reputation and engaged audiences. Use search queries like âplumbing blogs accepting guest postsâ or âhome improvement write for us.âReach out to the blog owners with well-crafted pitches. Propose topics that are relevant to their audience and showcase your expertise. Ensure your pitch is concise and highlights the value you can provide to their readers. Write well-researched, informative, and engaging articles. Focus on providing valuable insights and practical advice. Include relevant keywords naturally and ensure the content aligns with the blogâs style and tone. In your author bio, include a brief description of yourself and your plumbing business, along with a link back to your website. Some blogs may also allow you to include a link within the content itself. Ensure these links are relevant and add value to the article. Join Relevant CommunitiesParticipate in forums and online communities related to plumbing, home improvement, and DIY. Websites like Reddit, Quora, and specialized plumbing forums like PlumbingForums.com are great places to start.Offer helpful and knowledgeable answers to questions. Avoid blatant self-promotion and focus on providing genuine value. Share your expertise and build a reputation as a helpful professional. HARO (Help A Reporter Out)HARO connects sources with journalists looking for expert quotes. This can lead to high-quality backlinks from reputable sites.Sign up for a free HARO account as a source. You will receive daily emails with journalist requests categorized by industry. Plumbing-related requests might fall under Home & Garden. Monitor the HARO emails for requests related to plumbing, home maintenance, or small business operations. Respond promptly with concise, informative answers. Highlight your expertise and provide useful insights. When responding, be detailed and professional. Include your full name, title, business name, and a link to your website. Journalists are more likely to use your quotes if they are well-articulated and relevant to their article. Replicate Competitorsâ LinksAnalyzing your competitorsâ backlinks can help you discover new link-building opportunities.Identify your top competitors by searching for your target keywords in Google. Note the websites that consistently appear at the top of the search results. Use tools like SEMrush or SpyFu to analyze your competitorsâ backlink profiles. Enter their domain into the tool to see a list of websites linking to them. Assess the quality of these backlinks by looking at metrics like organic traffic. Focus on high-quality backlinks from reputable sites. Look for backlinks that you can replicate. These might include mentions in articles. Reach out to these websites with a similar pitch to get your site linked as well. Reclaim Lost LinksReclaiming lost links involves identifying and fixing broken or redirected links pointing to your site.Use tools like Ahrefs or Google Search Console to identify broken links pointing to your website. These tools can help you find 404 errors and other issues. Identify links that are redirected to other pages or domains. Ensure that the redirects are still relevant and pointing to the correct pages. Reach out to the webmasters of the sites linking to your broken URLs. Politely ask them to update the link to the correct page. Provide the exact URL to make it easier for them. If you have moved content to a new URL, set up 301 redirects from the old URLs to the new ones. This ensures that any backlinks pointing to the old URL still pass on link equity to the new page. 7. Technical SEO & Website PerformanceTechnical SEO ensures that search engines can find, understand, and index your pages.Plan Your Site StructurePlumber SEO Site Structure ExampleA well-organized site structure helps visitors navigate your website and allows Google to find all your pages. Internal LinksInclude relevant internal links (links on one page to another on your site) throughout pages to help users easily navigate to important pages.Concise URL-friendly SlugSEO Unfriendly URL Slug ExampleWhen making slugs for URLs (characters at the end of the URL, shown above) make sure theyâre short and to the point. Itâs recommended to be under 70 characters total, thatâs including the entire URL. However, itâs important to note that Google is known to truncate URLs depending on devices. For instance, notice the cut-offs in the below image. SEO Unfriendly URL Slug Example With Yoast or Rankmath youâll be able to see how your page will appear in SERPs (Search Engine Results Pages). Write Compelling TitlesYour titles should be engaging and accurately describe the content. Use power words and numbers to make your titles more compelling. For example, â10 Easy Tips for Fixing a Leaky Faucetâ or âHow to Unclog Any Drain in 5 Simple Steps.âAim to keep your titles 50 to 55 characters (580px length to be exact, which free meta length checkers can help you with) to ensure they are fully displayed in SERPs and not cut off. For a blog post on drain cleaning, a compelling title could be: âHow to Clean a Clogged Drain: 7 Effective Methodsâ Google is known to automatically change the title of your page in search results if it doesnât match relevance. Follow best title practices to influence the result. Keep the Meta Descriptions ConciseClearly summarize what the page is about. Include the most important points that users should know before clicking. For a drain cleaning service page, you might write: âGet expert drain cleaning services in [City]. Our plumbers are available 24/7 to handle any blockage. Call [number] for a free quote.âTry to keep your meta descriptions concise and within the 160-character limit (920 pixels to be precise) to ensure the full text is visible. Include your phone number in the meta description as this is clickable on mobile. Use Clear Headings and SubheadingsHeading Tag Structure ExampleOrganize your content with clear headings (H1, H2, H3) and subheadings. This not only improves readability but also helps search engines understand the structure of your content. Break down information into bullet points and numbered lists where appropriate. This makes your content more scannable and user-friendly. Key Pages to MakeHome Page, About Us, Contact UsService Pages Service Locations (Be careful on this one and follow Googleâs guidelines on Doorways) Service Location City Page Blogs for Informational Articles and How-Toâs Create and Upload Your SitemapInstall a Plugin like Yoast or Rankmath to give you some useful SEO tools and create a sitemap to submit to Google and Bing.Use HTTPSHTTPS is a secure way for visitors to access web pages. Check if your website uses HTTPS by looking for a lock icon in the browserâs search bar.Monitor Your SEO HealthRegularly monitor your websiteâs SEO health using tools like Google Search Console. These tools can help you identify and fix common SEO issues. Key metrics to track include organic traffic, keyword performance, and site health score.Responsive DesignResponsive design refers to a web design approach that makes web pages render well on a variety of devices and window or screen sizes. It ensures that your website looks and functions correctly on desktops, tablets, and smartphones.Optimize ImagesLarge images can slow down your website, leading to a poor user experience, especially on mobile devices with slower internet connections. Optimizing images ensures faster loading times, which can improve both user experience and SEO.Use a site like TinyJPG to compress images for free. Simple LayoutA simple, uncluttered layout improves user experience by making it easier for visitors to navigate your site and find the information they need. It also ensures that your site loads faster, as there are fewer elements to load. You can find highly optimized plumber templates that you can use with WordPress.Click-to-Call ButtonsClick-to-call buttons are crucial for mobile users, allowing them to contact your business with a single tap. This convenience can increase conversion rates and improve customer satisfaction.Advanced Technical SEOIf youâre savvy on the technical side you can use free diagnostic tools like webpagetest and Googleâs PageSpeed Insights to get more details on how to improve your loading speed and other technical optimizations.Another step is installing and configuring a free caching plugin like WP Super Cache. BreadcrumbsYou can use breadcrumbs to help Google understand the hierarchy of your site and may help users on their journey through your site.Local SEO SchemaAdd Plumber schema to important pages like the home page, contact, and service pages. You can use Schemantra to create the code to place on your site for free.8. SEO Content MarketingCreating valuable content can attract traffic and customers from organic search.Topic Keyword ResearchFinding the right topics to write about is crucial for attracting organic traffic.Begin with broad keywords related to plumbing, such as âleak repair,â âdrain cleaning,â or âwater heater maintenance.â Enter these into keyword research tools like Ahrefs Keywords Explorer, Google Keyword Planner, or SEMrush. Use these tools to find related keywords and phrases that people are searching for. Look for questions and long-tail keywords (phrases with three or more words) that indicate specific user intents. Instead of just âdrain cleaning,â look for âhow to clean a clogged drainâ or âbest drain cleaning services in [city].â Evaluate the search volume and competition level for each keyword. Ideally, seek keywords with high search volume but low to medium competition. This increases the chances of ranking well without facing too much competition. When reviewing these keywords go after transactional keywords as these will typically bring you more conversions. âEmergency plumber near meâ is a transactional keyword because it has a higher likelihood of the potential customer seeking service. Compare this to an information keyword such as, âWhatâs the history of plumbing?â. Analyze the search engine results pages (SERPs) for your target keywords to see what type of content is ranking. Look for featured snippets, people also ask boxes, and top-ranking articles to understand the type of content Google favors. Keep in mind that when using standard browser settings youâll see personalized results. You can use tools like AnswerThePublic for free to find more of what people are asking about a given topic. For Blogs Use Questions and Informational KeywordsBlogs focus on questions and informational keywords, such as âhow-toâ guides, tutorials, and tips. Good content written on this tends to attract more engagement and backlinks.Publish Optimized Blog PostsAnalyze the top-ranking pages for your target keywords to understand the user intent behind the searches. Are people looking for how-to guides, detailed articles, or quick answers? Align your content with what users intend to find.Ensure your content fully addresses the search query. If users are looking for a guide on fixing a leaky faucet, provide a step-by-step tutorial with images, videos, and troubleshooting tips. Include Images and Videos Use relevant images, infographics, and videos to enhance your content. Visual elements can help explain complex topics and keep readers engaged. Having an embedded YouTube video with a person speaking on the topic or pointing out common plumbing parts can set you apart from many competitors. 9. Promote Your ContentShare your blog posts on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Tailor your posts to each platformâs audience and use engaging visuals and descriptions to attract attention.Participate in relevant Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups, and online communities related to plumbing and home improvement. Share your content when appropriate if it adds value to the discussion. 10. Tracking SEO ProgressTracking your SEO efforts is essential to understanding whatâs working and what needs improvement.Google Business Profile PerformanceMonitoring your Google Business Profile (GBP) performance is crucial for understanding how well your business is performing in local search results.Check Profile PerformanceLog into your Google account and search for your business name. This should bring up your Google Business Profile. Click on the âSee profile performanceâ button to access detailed metrics about how your profile is performing.GBP MetricsViews: The number of times your business profile has been viewed. This gives you an idea of how visible your business is in local searches.Search Queries: The specific queries that led users to your business profile. This helps you understand what terms potential customers are using to find your business. Customer Actions: This includes actions like visits to your website, requests for directions, calls to your business, and bookings. Tracking these actions helps you understand how effective your profile is at converting views into interactions. Photo Views: The number of times your business photos have been viewed. High-quality photos can attract more attention and engagement. Search Console MetricsThis report provides an overview of your siteâs performance in Google Search.Total Clicks: The number of times users clicked on your site in search results. Total Impressions: The number of times your site appeared in search results. Average Click-Through Rate (CTR): The ratio of clicks to impressions, showing how effective your site is at attracting clicks. Average Position: Your siteâs average ranking position for the tracked queries. Search Queries: This section shows the specific queries that users are entering to find your site. Analyze which keywords are driving the most traffic and consider creating more content around those terms. Pages: Identify which pages on your site are performing best in search. This can help you understand what type of content resonates most with your audience. Devices: Understand how users are accessing your site (desktop, mobile, tablet). This helps you ensure your site is optimized for all devices, most importantly mobile. Optimize Based on InsightsUse the data from GSC to optimize your siteâs SEO strategy. If you notice that certain pages have a high number of impressions but a low CTR, consider updating the meta descriptions and title tags to be more compelling.If specific keywords are performing well, create supplemental content around those topics to capture additional traffic. |
2024.05.20 19:45 Financial-Put6230 Open letter to my ex's new / previous GF - Long
An open letter to my exâs new girlfriend. She deserves to know that he wasnât faithful to her the first time and was not truly single when they reconnected. My therapist recommended I write about it. Itâs been sitting here for a while so I decided to share it and let this be my final closure.
This is all true, with no embellishments and events recounted as I understood them to be. We can only believe the truth that others allow us to see.
D and I met through a local hiking group. I had chatted with D a few times over a year on things like cameras, cars and waterfalls. We followed each other on Insta. I didnât have anyone to go hiking with me this particular week and had been chatting with D about something, so asked if he would like to hike with me. He said sure and we made plans to meet.
The first impression I had of him was he seemed kind of nerdy and inexperienced. He had long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and oval rimless glasses. Just some kid I was going to hike with. He led the way and was quiet at first. But towards the middle of the hike, we talked about where we were in relationships. Or he did. He did most of the talking. He told me about a friend with benefits situation with A. That he wanted more, but it couldnât happen because she was living with a guy. And had been for years. The guy was helping raise her daughter, who she had gotten pregnant with during a teenage one night stand. A basic single mom. D had gotten his dog from them, a great dane and said he had kept in touch with her and taken some pictures of the puppies they had. At some point, D and A began a sexual relationship. I never asked how it happened, who initiated, I was just stunned that this guy dumped this on me, someone he knew for literally hours. It made me feel gross. He justified his interaction with her because her partneboyfriend was a narcissist and treated her horribly. She was claiming to be in the process of moving out and he said when she was, they could be a public couple. He told me details about her - her job, what kind of car she drove, how they communicated. He obviously was hung up on her. I asked him if he didnât feel bad for cheating, and he said no, he wasnât cheating, that she was, but he wasnât. He didnât have anyone to cheat on. I still donât understand that justification at all. He was partaking in a clandestine act, it was a secret that was kept between them and if it came out, would affect others. This had been going on for four years. He said that A encouraged him to date other people and he had tried on a few occasions. He had met N through his Facebook photography page. He said he only saw her a few times over two months and she was crazy. She texted him twenty times in an hour when he didnât respond. So he blocked her. I told him he could have just told her he would get back to her later, but he said no, she was annoying. He took the easy way out and blocked her. I notice that this guy takes the easy way out on a lot of things. He truly has no back bone. But weâll get to that later.
We had a good day. It was a good hike. We continued to talk and spend time together after that. Platonically, then a bit more as time went on. Two months into knowing D, I was with a good friend, K, who I had also met through the group. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, J. I hadnât met him, but didnât like what I heard about him. He had things that he hid from her. They had dated on and off for over a year. She brought up J and said she thinks he was dating this woman where they work believed it started while they were still in a relationship. She said they worked together and named this womanâs job. She said she saw the car she drives. She mentioned that this person had a daughter. All of those details were very specific and exact descriptors of what D had told me about his FWB, A. I hated to see my friend, K, in distress, so I told her that I thought I knew who this person was. I asked if her name might be A, and K said yes, thatâs it! I told her that I knew of her through a mutual friend. I said she had lived with a man and she seemed to be in the process of moving out. Thatâs all I could share. This is where things got weird. I donât remember how it all happened, but something along the lines of K and J exchanged words. She pressed me for where this knowledge I had came from, so I caved and told her D, but she could not say anything. D had become a bit distant and I was going to tell him, but figured why, if he wasnât hanging around, I didnât want to be involved in this. We were casual, nothing set in stone. A few days later, he was being odd and I said, itâs a small world, my friendâs ex is dating someone who drives this kind of car, has this kind of job, sounds just like A. I knew he didnât know this, and probably still thought he had a chance with A because she was still leading him on even though he claimed he hadnât seen her in person for months. He was surprised, I could tell he was pissed in the manner he responded. I stepped back and said I didnât want to be involved in this shit show, I was just letting him know because he deserved to. Apparently A was dating J while still living with the long time boyfriend, but the long time boyfriend didn't know about J or D. D then reached out to the long time boyfriend and told him that A had been cheating on him for years (but failed to tell him that he was the one that A was cheating with, or one of the ones). D loves drama. He even admitted it. He confronted A, sent me a bunch of screen shots of their convo. They kept their convos secret on snapchat. The whole thing is so fucked up, that as Iâm writing it out, I canât believe I was even involved in something like this. I told D to keep me out of it, that I didnât want to be involved in this. Eventually A moved to her own place and stayed in a relationship with J.
I kept my distance from D, but he would reach out every few days to remind me he was here. We remained friendly for a few months then embarked on what would become a year long relationship. It wasnât something I planned or even wanted, but it happened and we spent a good amount of time together. Towards the end, I was getting tired of his low vibe energy, his racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-semetic comments, his lack of engagement conversationally and his very narrow minded world view. He was 34, still living with his parents, with no intentions to leave, wouldnât spend the night, was breadcrumbing me. I was seeing him for who he really was, not what I envisioned he was. What was I doing? I knew we had to break up, but I put it off. The last time I saw him, he was doing everything he could to turn me off. On his phone constantly (Iâm now sure he was already talking with or seeing N, I had a feeling he was chatting with someone), vaping more than usual, the sex wasnât as connected as it usually was, dropping snide comments, he was just off in a way that was not the him I knew at all. We texted a bit, then a few days later, I called him in the evening. He didnât answer or call me back. The next night, I texted him that it seemed he was going out of his way to ignore me, so even though I felt our year together deserved a respectable parting, he obviously wasnât going to give me that. And I was done. He texted immediately that he was going to call me back but he forgot and he was sorry he couldnât give me more at this time, but he would like to remain friends and I could invite him to hike. Thanks for the good times. I okâd it and that was it.
I didnât hear from him at all. On my birthday a few weeks later, I saw a FB post he made about if your birthday is around now, that means your dad looked at your mom on Motherâs Day and said, youâre not a mother now, but I can make you one. It was so stupid. I texted him and said you didnât have to do higher math to come up with that, you could have just said happy birthday. He responded that he knew a bunch of people with birthdays around then and that was for all of them but happy birthday. I told him thanks, then told him a bit about my new job, and that he was right, it was tiring because I still have my other job when i came home from the new one and sometimes was gone from 6am to 9pm. A while later, he sent me a wall of text, going on about how now imagine doing that 6 nights a week because someone (he was meaning me) wanted you to come over, and if he didnât, that someone made him feel guilty and all of the work he had to do, and if he couldnât hike or hang out on the weekend, again, the someone made him feel bad, etc. And if he didnât comment or respond to every FB or insta post or text that someone got upset. I read it a few times and my response was, first, I donât know whose house youâre going to 6 nights a week, but itâs not mine. And I donât get upset if you donât respond to everything because I rarely post and I wait days for texts sometimes. And this sounds like how you described N, not me, so keep us straight.
A week later, I see N interacting with Dâs FB feed. Apparently she got unblocked. Did she reach out to him or him to her first? Just so happens she thought the birthday post was for her. It was all I could do to not comment on it, but I didnât want to be a part of any of their drama, so I kept it to myself. D had something of mine, I asked for it back. He said he was so busy, he didnât know when he could get it to me. I waited a week. Sure, I FB stalked N and saw that D had interacted with her stuff in an overly friendly manner. Iâm not stupid and Iâm more observant than I let on. So I contacted him for my item again and offered to come get it. He said he wouldnât be home (it was a Monday night, he was always home on Monday nights - we rarely got together on Mondays because the few times we did, he was always in a mood, so I kept Mondays distant). I said i could meet him somewhere when he got home and that I just wanted to get this over with. He said he didnât know what that meant, but ok. I said I notice that youâve reacquainted yourself with N. Thatâs an interesting choice. I guess youâll be at her house tonight. An hour later, he left the item by my back steps and sped away in his obnoxiously loud man child sportscar that he can only afford because he still lives with his parents. I called, he didnât answer. I texted and asked if I needed to get an STD test and the only thing he said was âI never cheated on you.â Cheating to him just means he didnât have sex with her while we were still together, but I donât believe that either. Why would I? I deleted him immediately. He has a second FB profile that he uses just to snoop, and I let that one remain.
He had told me he would never get back together with an ex, especially N. He mentioned her once or twice, never with any enthusiasm, or any kind of empathy. She was easy to snag, a bit desperate. He had mentioned another woman who he was FB friends with. He had hung out with her once, but didnât like the way she talked, but he said on more than one occasion, âI should date her and be really mean to her and see how long it takes for her to walk awayâ. People who think that way are not ok. They are off in the head. D really had very limited compassion and no moral compass. It took me a while to get over it, I think mostly because we didnât have closure. We had split up for a week a few months into the relationship, and I asked for a convo, I just wanted to state a few things. We didnât argue, I asked him questions, I felt settled and thanked him for allowing me that space to talk. We both agreed it was better when we communicated like that. He said he wasnât happy about our parting and he would still like to see me. I agreed because it seemed like we had come to a mutual place of understanding, but we never had communication like that again. I wish he would have just broken things off earlier, instead of lining N up before he could fully disengage from me. Heâs a complete coward and that along with him leaving the item by my back step proves it to me. He couldnât be a man and look me in the eye. Maybe N is more his speed. Maybe she has the same narrow world views and disrespect for others of different races and religious beliefs. Maybe they are a match. But I wanted to let her know the kind of person he really is, and I think she knows. She just doesn't want to believe it, when honestly, having him as a partner is not a flex. Quite the opposite when you know the kind of person he is. Iâll bet he told N that I texted him non stop too, which I never did. D probably says all of his exes are crazy, now including me. If I ever run into D and N, I will happily hand my phone over and share his texts and screen shots so she can see the truth. Maybe she will stumble upon this, but I doubt it. Whether she believes it or not is up to her.
submitted by Financial-Put6230 to JustNoSO [link] [comments]
This is all true, with no embellishments and events recounted as I understood them to be. We can only believe the truth that others allow us to see.
D and I met through a local hiking group. I had chatted with D a few times over a year on things like cameras, cars and waterfalls. We followed each other on Insta. I didnât have anyone to go hiking with me this particular week and had been chatting with D about something, so asked if he would like to hike with me. He said sure and we made plans to meet.
The first impression I had of him was he seemed kind of nerdy and inexperienced. He had long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and oval rimless glasses. Just some kid I was going to hike with. He led the way and was quiet at first. But towards the middle of the hike, we talked about where we were in relationships. Or he did. He did most of the talking. He told me about a friend with benefits situation with A. That he wanted more, but it couldnât happen because she was living with a guy. And had been for years. The guy was helping raise her daughter, who she had gotten pregnant with during a teenage one night stand. A basic single mom. D had gotten his dog from them, a great dane and said he had kept in touch with her and taken some pictures of the puppies they had. At some point, D and A began a sexual relationship. I never asked how it happened, who initiated, I was just stunned that this guy dumped this on me, someone he knew for literally hours. It made me feel gross. He justified his interaction with her because her partneboyfriend was a narcissist and treated her horribly. She was claiming to be in the process of moving out and he said when she was, they could be a public couple. He told me details about her - her job, what kind of car she drove, how they communicated. He obviously was hung up on her. I asked him if he didnât feel bad for cheating, and he said no, he wasnât cheating, that she was, but he wasnât. He didnât have anyone to cheat on. I still donât understand that justification at all. He was partaking in a clandestine act, it was a secret that was kept between them and if it came out, would affect others. This had been going on for four years. He said that A encouraged him to date other people and he had tried on a few occasions. He had met N through his Facebook photography page. He said he only saw her a few times over two months and she was crazy. She texted him twenty times in an hour when he didnât respond. So he blocked her. I told him he could have just told her he would get back to her later, but he said no, she was annoying. He took the easy way out and blocked her. I notice that this guy takes the easy way out on a lot of things. He truly has no back bone. But weâll get to that later.
We had a good day. It was a good hike. We continued to talk and spend time together after that. Platonically, then a bit more as time went on. Two months into knowing D, I was with a good friend, K, who I had also met through the group. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, J. I hadnât met him, but didnât like what I heard about him. He had things that he hid from her. They had dated on and off for over a year. She brought up J and said she thinks he was dating this woman where they work believed it started while they were still in a relationship. She said they worked together and named this womanâs job. She said she saw the car she drives. She mentioned that this person had a daughter. All of those details were very specific and exact descriptors of what D had told me about his FWB, A. I hated to see my friend, K, in distress, so I told her that I thought I knew who this person was. I asked if her name might be A, and K said yes, thatâs it! I told her that I knew of her through a mutual friend. I said she had lived with a man and she seemed to be in the process of moving out. Thatâs all I could share. This is where things got weird. I donât remember how it all happened, but something along the lines of K and J exchanged words. She pressed me for where this knowledge I had came from, so I caved and told her D, but she could not say anything. D had become a bit distant and I was going to tell him, but figured why, if he wasnât hanging around, I didnât want to be involved in this. We were casual, nothing set in stone. A few days later, he was being odd and I said, itâs a small world, my friendâs ex is dating someone who drives this kind of car, has this kind of job, sounds just like A. I knew he didnât know this, and probably still thought he had a chance with A because she was still leading him on even though he claimed he hadnât seen her in person for months. He was surprised, I could tell he was pissed in the manner he responded. I stepped back and said I didnât want to be involved in this shit show, I was just letting him know because he deserved to. Apparently A was dating J while still living with the long time boyfriend, but the long time boyfriend didn't know about J or D. D then reached out to the long time boyfriend and told him that A had been cheating on him for years (but failed to tell him that he was the one that A was cheating with, or one of the ones). D loves drama. He even admitted it. He confronted A, sent me a bunch of screen shots of their convo. They kept their convos secret on snapchat. The whole thing is so fucked up, that as Iâm writing it out, I canât believe I was even involved in something like this. I told D to keep me out of it, that I didnât want to be involved in this. Eventually A moved to her own place and stayed in a relationship with J.
I kept my distance from D, but he would reach out every few days to remind me he was here. We remained friendly for a few months then embarked on what would become a year long relationship. It wasnât something I planned or even wanted, but it happened and we spent a good amount of time together. Towards the end, I was getting tired of his low vibe energy, his racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-semetic comments, his lack of engagement conversationally and his very narrow minded world view. He was 34, still living with his parents, with no intentions to leave, wouldnât spend the night, was breadcrumbing me. I was seeing him for who he really was, not what I envisioned he was. What was I doing? I knew we had to break up, but I put it off. The last time I saw him, he was doing everything he could to turn me off. On his phone constantly (Iâm now sure he was already talking with or seeing N, I had a feeling he was chatting with someone), vaping more than usual, the sex wasnât as connected as it usually was, dropping snide comments, he was just off in a way that was not the him I knew at all. We texted a bit, then a few days later, I called him in the evening. He didnât answer or call me back. The next night, I texted him that it seemed he was going out of his way to ignore me, so even though I felt our year together deserved a respectable parting, he obviously wasnât going to give me that. And I was done. He texted immediately that he was going to call me back but he forgot and he was sorry he couldnât give me more at this time, but he would like to remain friends and I could invite him to hike. Thanks for the good times. I okâd it and that was it.
I didnât hear from him at all. On my birthday a few weeks later, I saw a FB post he made about if your birthday is around now, that means your dad looked at your mom on Motherâs Day and said, youâre not a mother now, but I can make you one. It was so stupid. I texted him and said you didnât have to do higher math to come up with that, you could have just said happy birthday. He responded that he knew a bunch of people with birthdays around then and that was for all of them but happy birthday. I told him thanks, then told him a bit about my new job, and that he was right, it was tiring because I still have my other job when i came home from the new one and sometimes was gone from 6am to 9pm. A while later, he sent me a wall of text, going on about how now imagine doing that 6 nights a week because someone (he was meaning me) wanted you to come over, and if he didnât, that someone made him feel guilty and all of the work he had to do, and if he couldnât hike or hang out on the weekend, again, the someone made him feel bad, etc. And if he didnât comment or respond to every FB or insta post or text that someone got upset. I read it a few times and my response was, first, I donât know whose house youâre going to 6 nights a week, but itâs not mine. And I donât get upset if you donât respond to everything because I rarely post and I wait days for texts sometimes. And this sounds like how you described N, not me, so keep us straight.
A week later, I see N interacting with Dâs FB feed. Apparently she got unblocked. Did she reach out to him or him to her first? Just so happens she thought the birthday post was for her. It was all I could do to not comment on it, but I didnât want to be a part of any of their drama, so I kept it to myself. D had something of mine, I asked for it back. He said he was so busy, he didnât know when he could get it to me. I waited a week. Sure, I FB stalked N and saw that D had interacted with her stuff in an overly friendly manner. Iâm not stupid and Iâm more observant than I let on. So I contacted him for my item again and offered to come get it. He said he wouldnât be home (it was a Monday night, he was always home on Monday nights - we rarely got together on Mondays because the few times we did, he was always in a mood, so I kept Mondays distant). I said i could meet him somewhere when he got home and that I just wanted to get this over with. He said he didnât know what that meant, but ok. I said I notice that youâve reacquainted yourself with N. Thatâs an interesting choice. I guess youâll be at her house tonight. An hour later, he left the item by my back steps and sped away in his obnoxiously loud man child sportscar that he can only afford because he still lives with his parents. I called, he didnât answer. I texted and asked if I needed to get an STD test and the only thing he said was âI never cheated on you.â Cheating to him just means he didnât have sex with her while we were still together, but I donât believe that either. Why would I? I deleted him immediately. He has a second FB profile that he uses just to snoop, and I let that one remain.
He had told me he would never get back together with an ex, especially N. He mentioned her once or twice, never with any enthusiasm, or any kind of empathy. She was easy to snag, a bit desperate. He had mentioned another woman who he was FB friends with. He had hung out with her once, but didnât like the way she talked, but he said on more than one occasion, âI should date her and be really mean to her and see how long it takes for her to walk awayâ. People who think that way are not ok. They are off in the head. D really had very limited compassion and no moral compass. It took me a while to get over it, I think mostly because we didnât have closure. We had split up for a week a few months into the relationship, and I asked for a convo, I just wanted to state a few things. We didnât argue, I asked him questions, I felt settled and thanked him for allowing me that space to talk. We both agreed it was better when we communicated like that. He said he wasnât happy about our parting and he would still like to see me. I agreed because it seemed like we had come to a mutual place of understanding, but we never had communication like that again. I wish he would have just broken things off earlier, instead of lining N up before he could fully disengage from me. Heâs a complete coward and that along with him leaving the item by my back step proves it to me. He couldnât be a man and look me in the eye. Maybe N is more his speed. Maybe she has the same narrow world views and disrespect for others of different races and religious beliefs. Maybe they are a match. But I wanted to let her know the kind of person he really is, and I think she knows. She just doesn't want to believe it, when honestly, having him as a partner is not a flex. Quite the opposite when you know the kind of person he is. Iâll bet he told N that I texted him non stop too, which I never did. D probably says all of his exes are crazy, now including me. If I ever run into D and N, I will happily hand my phone over and share his texts and screen shots so she can see the truth. Maybe she will stumble upon this, but I doubt it. Whether she believes it or not is up to her.
2024.05.20 19:10 WebBorn2622 I need to know if someone is listening in on my calls
When I was a bit younger, around 17-18, I had someone hack into my phone and read my text messages, block people and send a message from my phone.
Basically every single day all guys on my Facebook were blocked and I had to manually unblock them. This continued for a bit. At first I thought it was a glitch or something. But then when I was texting with a guy and agreeing to meet up with him a message from my phone said âI donât want to talk to you anymoreâ. I know I didnât send that.
To this day I still donât have any evidence of who did it, although Iâm pretty sure it was my ex.
After I moved away the problem went away and I havenât had to think about it anymore because the blocking and texting stopped.
But sometimes when Iâm on call with others I hear this static noise and today I hear like a bell being rung while I was in a conversation. The person on the other end didnât hear it.
Is there any way I can check if someone wiretapped me (and possibly confirm who it is)?
submitted by WebBorn2622 to techsupport [link] [comments]
Basically every single day all guys on my Facebook were blocked and I had to manually unblock them. This continued for a bit. At first I thought it was a glitch or something. But then when I was texting with a guy and agreeing to meet up with him a message from my phone said âI donât want to talk to you anymoreâ. I know I didnât send that.
To this day I still donât have any evidence of who did it, although Iâm pretty sure it was my ex.
After I moved away the problem went away and I havenât had to think about it anymore because the blocking and texting stopped.
But sometimes when Iâm on call with others I hear this static noise and today I hear like a bell being rung while I was in a conversation. The person on the other end didnât hear it.
Is there any way I can check if someone wiretapped me (and possibly confirm who it is)?
2024.05.20 01:38 Kingjames23X6 Advice (trigger)
I met this girl online out of no where to be honest I was already with someone that was living with me but I was in the process of getting her put out so we where not together anymore and that hurt it was like a 6 month relationship in real life. But here comes this other girl just out of no where on Facebook. We talked for a while and eventually grew quite fond of each other. She was so feminine sweet comforting to talk to Just feel so much peace talking to her. Like a lot of American woman are becoming more masculine attitude and I donât really care for that because itâs always arguments all the time and itâs a nightmare, but anyway this lasted for a month and a half only and I told her like why do keep hanging up the phone and disappearing all the time like call one minute then the next hour it was odd. But she was on a big drug binge with all types of substances she is an addict, so am I I guess the only difference is mine is more under control. Like Iâve been on the phone with her when she could be ODing and I told her I would always be there for her. And the message I sent I guess maybe rubbed her the wrong way maybe. I was at work and she sent me 4 messages in a row along the lines of like I donât think you want to talk to me, just do your own thing, if you donât wanna talk thatâs fine Iâll go and they where spaced out 15 minutes apart but I was working and didnât look by the time I saw it said used canât be reached A.K.A blocked. So obviously I was shocked I donât even know if sheâs okay I think I took her for granted because even in real life nothing really stung me like this. She was like the most beautiful girl I could ever imagine her voice her face everything. So I go onto my burner account and Iâve been trying to figure out like okay maybe she just went back to her ex but itâs like all her socials are completely inactive and I can see because I just logged into my other page. She lives alone like I donât even know if sheâs okay. If she would just show any kind of activity I would feel better about it like okay sheâs alright. But itâs so unknown what happened and it just haunts me and I really feel like I love her as much as someone can without meeting in person I guess. So Iâm getting all these matches on tinder or baddo even in real life but itâs like her name her face I just canât seem to get over it like okay it feels good to talk to you but your not her so I just end up not responding a lot and just watching tv or playing video games like uninterested in it at all. I just really pray that girl is okay and I hope one day sheâll unblock me because our connection was endless we would always talk on the phone at all hours of the day and night always text but at the time I didnât think much of it because it wasnât in real life. Itâs just hard to get over like Iâve really never had this hard of a time like I have tons of matches to go through but Iâm just not really interested to even scroll thru them I donât know why whatâs wrong with me
submitted by Kingjames23X6 to dating [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 04:10 YourAverageAlex910 why
 | submitted by YourAverageAlex910 to texts [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 03:51 Radiant_Associate_37 AITAH for blocking my friend (also ex) bc of something he did.
So the other day my 'bestfriend' had asked me for 60 dollars and I had told him no. He then said that's okay and then we stopped talking.
A few hours later I recive a text from my sister and my brother in-law asking if I was okay because I had texted them both "Hey" which I had not because I wasn't active for a good amount of time.
Then I had checked my messages on Facebook because some of my old friends and family were texting me (who I don't text alot anymore) and replying with "Okay maybe later" Or "No I don't have that amount of money."
I go to check all of the texts and I see that somone had hacked my phone and texted all my family and friends for 60 DOLLARS AND 30 DOLLARS. Once I saw that I knew exactly who it was. It was my 'bestfriend' I had asked him about it and he said that he works for satan and how he needs food. I then started yelling at him and blocked him everywhere. I changed the password to everything of mine and told someone about it.
Then today his boyfriend (my bestfriend) texted me telling me that my 'bestfriend' wants to say sorry for our past and that he didn't hack me for money apparently. I do not believe him because he's lied to me to many times and I can't trust him anymore. His boyfriend asked me to please unblock him but I said no.
Do you think I'm making a big deal about this.
submitted by Radiant_Associate_37 to u/Radiant_Associate_37 [link] [comments]
A few hours later I recive a text from my sister and my brother in-law asking if I was okay because I had texted them both "Hey" which I had not because I wasn't active for a good amount of time.
Then I had checked my messages on Facebook because some of my old friends and family were texting me (who I don't text alot anymore) and replying with "Okay maybe later" Or "No I don't have that amount of money."
I go to check all of the texts and I see that somone had hacked my phone and texted all my family and friends for 60 DOLLARS AND 30 DOLLARS. Once I saw that I knew exactly who it was. It was my 'bestfriend' I had asked him about it and he said that he works for satan and how he needs food. I then started yelling at him and blocked him everywhere. I changed the password to everything of mine and told someone about it.
Then today his boyfriend (my bestfriend) texted me telling me that my 'bestfriend' wants to say sorry for our past and that he didn't hack me for money apparently. I do not believe him because he's lied to me to many times and I can't trust him anymore. His boyfriend asked me to please unblock him but I said no.
Do you think I'm making a big deal about this.
2024.05.19 01:15 MattyLyte21 AWDTSG Admin convo
 | Sorry for all of the posts, but I wanted to share this because I thought it was kind of funny. I was actually on good terms with The new admin of the Canton Ohio group. We were trying to come up with ways For men to be able to refute what was said about them. It was just a first step but then things started to spiral when I pointed out posts that were doxing then and she did nothing about it. I want to show you a couple screenshots of the conversation I had with her. I am sure that her members would not be happy seeing these words come from her 𤣠submitted by MattyLyte21 to AWDTSGisToxic [link] [comments] |
2024.05.18 15:46 Reasonable-Ad-1742 People say he's a narcissist I just don't know
So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the first guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.
submitted by Reasonable-Ad-1742 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
2024.05.18 12:02 cinnamon--sugar AITAH for leaving a custody situation early?
TW for s/h mentions, self end mentions, and abuse mentions
Obligatory clarification that this was a few months ago, I just regularly feel guilty about it and wanted to see if I'm right in feeling that guilt. Also, apologies in advance since I think this is going to be a long post.
I(20ftm) was abused in multiple ways by my stepfather(46m). I filed a case against him two years ago, which finally got picked up after my younger sister(16f) ran away from the house. During these two years, no one in the family talked to me, as he convinced everyone that I was a liar, a manipulator, and was doing everything as an act of revenge on him for "treating me with the respect I deserved". He was sentenced last October to 15 years in prison, and then they began to investigate my mother(38f) because she knew about the physical/verbal/mental abuse of all of us kids(there were five of us, ages will be given as children are mentioned), and about the s/xual abuse toward me. I live out in Arizona, however when my mother lost custody of our siblings, my older sister(25f), who well call Molly, reached out to me asking if I would be willing to come back up to Ohio, my home state, to help her take temporary custody of the children. The plan was that I would come back up to Ohio, live with my old roommates, get a job, and watch the children in the morning to get them on the bus and afternoon until Molly got home from work. This was something that was agreed upon by everyone, and it was decided that due to a job opportunity I would be going back to Arizona in three months. I immediately explained to everyone involved that I would not flake out on these plans unless my mental health got to a point where I was actively considering self ending. Molly requested that she get "some sort of notice" before something like that we're to happen, and I told her that the best I could do was actively pointing out signs of mental health decline as they happened so she would know where I was in my headspace, to which she agreed.
Fast forward to the day I'm to fly up, and I get a call from Molly. She explains that our grandmother is giving her her old house in exchange for the childcare until my mother got out of jail should the worst case scenario happen, and she wanted to know if I could live in full time with her. In exchange she would pay my way through driving school and get me a car off Facebook marketplace, which would roughly equal out to three months of paid labor. She explained that I wouldn't have to do any chores(though it would be nice) and she would support me financially so that I didn't need to get a job(though I also could if I wanted to) and I could put my full time and care toward the children. This seemed like a fair deal to me, so I agreed. We talked about a few other minor details, such as my room(I wouldn't have one, and would be sleeping in the corner of the living room) and food(I requested that she get healthy food because eating excessive amounts of junk food triggers my ED, which she agreed to but more on that later).
I fly up and reconnect with all of my siblings(I hadn't talked to any of them in person since the incident two years ago), and talk with a close friend of mine, who I'll call Buddy. Buddy expressed that he didn't think that me moving in full time with Molly was a good idea, and tried to imply that she might try and take advantage of me while I was there and overstep boundaries. I told him that I trusted her not to do so, and she and I had agreed that I would be spending weekends with him at his place to decompress and regularly assess my mental health. This was almost immediately backtracked by Molly, saying she didn't expect me to actually take the whole weekend and she requested Saturdays to be her "day off", which I agreed to. About a week and a half after I arrived and was settled in, we started having violence issues with the youngest(10m), and they were mostly directed toward me. We assumed that this was because my stepfather had fed the kids a story about how I had left because I didn't care about them, and he was too young to understand the truth of the situation. Molly was very attentive to my needs at first, making sure to buy fruits and vegetables as well as having the children upstairs by 9 pm so that I could have some private time to relax each night. All was good other than the violent outbursts from the youngest(who I'll nickname Chris).
After about a month, we had to give Chris to an aunt due to the violent outbursts becoming more frequent and the police having to be called several times just to get him to stop attacking me. I explained to Molly that it was affecting me pretty badly, and she and I sat down and talked it out, deciding I wasn't at a point that I needed to leave yet, however if we kept him I would be. So we let Chris go up to my aunts, who we'll call Aunt Hayley. After that things calmed down in the household, with there only being two major fights between the remaining three children. During this time, Molly began to talk about how stressed she was about finances, as well as she signed up for a college course and got a boyfriend. I didn't see this as a big deal at the time, but it compiled with everything else. Molly began coming home at 6-7 and immediately going to her room, and I would end up keeping watch of the children for the remainder of the night. This didn't bother me too much at the time, as I saw it as helping her, however I could. Before this, she and I had pretty evenly split chores, with both of us doing dishes, laundry, and trash periodically. Once she began this college course, I took up the entirety of the dishes, laundry for all of the children, and majority of trash. Molly tended to her room and mandated when the children cleaned their rooms and their upstairs bathroom, but other than that was in her room either doing classwork or hanging out with her boyfriend. During this time she also stopped getting the healthier foods, despite me helping with grocery lists and requesting healthier foods, opting instead for snacks or frozen foods such as pizzas, hot pockets, bagel bites, etc. This upset me seeing as I had already explained to her my issues with said foods, but I didn't feel I had a right to make comment seeing as she was still financially supporting me.
During this time, my no contact order with my mother was lifted, and I agreed to speak with her again, seeing as she had eventually denounced her borderline worship of my stepfather and told the police everything, and was now in therapy and parenting classes. To be clear, from the moment I had arrived in Ohio, I had wanted nothing to do with her, and the only reason I had agreed to talk to her was to give her one last opportunity to man up and explain everything properly. She did, and as I had suspected, he had been severely abusing her in every way as well. I still didn't trust her, but I decided to give her a second chance at a relationship on the condition that she not bring any more men into my siblings lives until they were all 18 or older(which she agreed to). I began to visit her semi-regularly, and Molly and I agreed that I would go to her house Saturday nights for dinner, seeing as I was already going to Buddy's around 7 pm Saturday nights anyway, which meant it wouldn't really change any of Molly's plans. At this time I began having a friend over, who we'll call Max. Max is a close friend of mine since middle school, and Molly approved him to be around any time, however I only really had him around on Tuesdays due to his work schedule. As soon as Max met Molly, he said he didn't really like the way she talked to me, and when I didn't understand(I have autism) he explained that a lot of how she speaks to me sounds like she's talking down to/making fun of me, and that when I say something she doesn't seem to take me seriously. I brushed this off, thinking that it was just him not being used to her somewhat abrasive personality.
Molly continued to complain about finances, and I continued searching for a job as I had been since I got there, and then came the first weird incident during this. One day Molly said that our mother had offered her a motorcycle, but that she had a feeling that she wouldn't actually give it to her, and so she was going to go buy her own. I didn't mention how counter intuitive this was to her finance problem, though I should have in hindsight. She also went out that weekend to get her nails and hair professionally done(which she had told me at one point all together was around $200), as well as I believe the next weekend to get a $180 tattoo shaded. Seeing as Molly had gone out and bought a motorcycle, my mother instead offered me the bike, which I accepted. Molly then began making comments about how she knew my mother was going to give me the bike, and that was why she had gone out and gotten her own(despite the fact that I had asked for the bike before I knew it was supposed to be given to Molly, and was told only if she didn't want it because she got first dibs).
During the last month, my mental health began to hit the decline I had warned Molly about. I informed her of when it became hard to get out of bed, when I was having guilt or s/h urges, and then eventually I reached a point where I requested she take back up at least some responsibility of dishes and laundry because my mental health couldn't handle it. She got somewhat indignant about this, saying that because I was living there rent free I should be doing the majority of the chores. By this time, I had very much seen what Max had been saying about her talking down to me, however I wasn't in the mental state to go against her, so I just reiterated that I really wasn't doing well. She said that her classwork, job, and social life wouldn't allow her to have time for it, and since I had none of those I didn't have any reason to feel the way I was. At this point, Buddy and my two old roommates(who we'll call Rat and Iroh) started insisting that I should go back to the original plan and only go down in mornings and until she got home from work, however I felt obligated to help her so I stayed. They repeatedly reminded me that she still hadn't followed through on any of her promises regarding driving school, car, or respecting my triggers. I continued to stay, partially to help her and partially because I knew at this point that it would backfire on the children as well if I left.
Two weeks before I was supposed to leave, Molly pulled me aside and told me that due to financial concerns, she would be letting the children go to a foster home in two weeks, once I left. This confused me seeing as a) I hadn't been bringing in any financials, and b) she insisted on keeping the 16 year old(who I'll call Fiona) but refused to keep the other two, because (in her own words) "Fiona is the easiest to handle". I felt as if I was to blame for this because the way Molly had presented it to me made it seem like the only reason she was letting the children go was because I was leaving, and a few days earlier she had been trying to push "if you could only stay another month". This plummeted my mental health, and about a week later(a week before my stay was supposed to end) I hit the point of actively wanting to self end. I informed her of this, and she got cold with me, saying she wished I had told her sooner. I reminded her that I had vocalized every step for things going down hill, and she insisted that it wasnt enough and I should have given her more notice, as well as claiming she could have done this whole thing without me and that I was more trouble than I was worth at points. She then started saying that I had only come back to get close to our mother and that I didn't actually care about her or the children(as I said, I hated my mother when I arrived). I told her that I would stay till that Friday night as it was Thursday and I didn't want to force her to try to find last minute childcare so late at night. At some point in this conversation we got a call from the middle(14nb, whom we'll call Sora) child's school saying that Sora had assaulted another student. This student had been making fun of Sora for months, claiming that they deserved the abuse they went through and that she hoped my stepfather got out of jail so that he could hurt Sora worse. I requested Molly not be too intense on the punishment, seeing as this had been an ongoing issue that had been brought to both the principal and Molly's attention, and been brushed off by both. Molly started beating me about how disgusting it was that I was condoning violence, and I clarified that while I didn't condone it, this situation had been hard enough on Sora. At this point in time, I had had enough and told her that if she didn't want my input and wanted to belittle me and "put me in my place", then she could put her money where her mouth was about being able to do this without me and I would leave that night. She said fine, but that she knew I wasn't actually wanting to end myself and was just using it as a convenient out of the situation. I began to pack. As soon as she got home she said that I had been taking her tone wrong, and that she hadn't meant to attack me. She then started saying that I wasn't screwing her over in this, I was screwing the children over. This was while the children were out of the house, and I did raise my voice, telling her that I wasn't trying to screw anyone over, I was following exactly the boundaries I had set, as I should have from the beginning. Buddy came and picked me up, and I went and spent the night with my mother.
The next day I was informed that Molly had told our caseworker that I had bailed, and that the children were to be picked up the next day(all except Fiona, who would stay in Molly's care and eventually the possibility of Molly adopting her was discussed). That Friday was the court case which was to decide what was to happen with my mother. Molly had expressed throughout this entire process that she didn't want my mother to go to jail, and that she would do almost anything to keep her out. The prosecutors had also expressed that they didn't want her to get a full 3 year sentence. During the court proceedings, Molly was the only one in the room requesting the maximum sentence for my mother, and during her speech was consistently deadnaming and misgendering me, which no one else in the court room was doing. My mother walked out with a 60 day sentence, which wasn't terrible, but the damage was done to mine and Molly's relationship, seeing as it was already strained before I found out she had been lying to me for months about her stances on this. She and I had had several conversations about this, while I hated my mother and whole I was healing my relationship with her, and her stance of wanting her to stay out of jail had never wavered. I unfollowed her on most medias, but kept her unblocked on everything. Three days before I was supposed to leave, I realized that my leather jacket and my keys to my boyfriend's collar were still at her house, and I tried to contact her to ask for them back. I texted her twice, neither of which she responded to, and then Buddy called her. She claimed she hadn't seen them, but refused to let us come over to look for them, despite the fact that the last time I had seen either one was in the house because I had been too depressed to leave the house. She continuously refused to let me come check, or even let someone else come check, claiming that she didn't trust me to put things back the way they were, despite me never showing any inclination of touching anything that wasn't mine. I went to text her again on the matter and found that she had blocked me on all platforms. Shortly after this Fiona would start claiming the same things about me not actually wanting to end myself and just using it as an excuse, showing that she had been talking to Molly about this, and her views on pretty much everything shifted to Molly's views. This caused a rift to the point that while I have strong contact with my other siblings, I don't have much contact with Fiona.
I feel as though it was wrong to leave the children in the situation they were in, and I desperately wish I could have done more to help, but I knew that once I hit that mental state I was no longer safe to be around them and only ran the risk of traumatizing them further if I had stayed.
submitted by cinnamon--sugar to AITAH [link] [comments]
Obligatory clarification that this was a few months ago, I just regularly feel guilty about it and wanted to see if I'm right in feeling that guilt. Also, apologies in advance since I think this is going to be a long post.
I(20ftm) was abused in multiple ways by my stepfather(46m). I filed a case against him two years ago, which finally got picked up after my younger sister(16f) ran away from the house. During these two years, no one in the family talked to me, as he convinced everyone that I was a liar, a manipulator, and was doing everything as an act of revenge on him for "treating me with the respect I deserved". He was sentenced last October to 15 years in prison, and then they began to investigate my mother(38f) because she knew about the physical/verbal/mental abuse of all of us kids(there were five of us, ages will be given as children are mentioned), and about the s/xual abuse toward me. I live out in Arizona, however when my mother lost custody of our siblings, my older sister(25f), who well call Molly, reached out to me asking if I would be willing to come back up to Ohio, my home state, to help her take temporary custody of the children. The plan was that I would come back up to Ohio, live with my old roommates, get a job, and watch the children in the morning to get them on the bus and afternoon until Molly got home from work. This was something that was agreed upon by everyone, and it was decided that due to a job opportunity I would be going back to Arizona in three months. I immediately explained to everyone involved that I would not flake out on these plans unless my mental health got to a point where I was actively considering self ending. Molly requested that she get "some sort of notice" before something like that we're to happen, and I told her that the best I could do was actively pointing out signs of mental health decline as they happened so she would know where I was in my headspace, to which she agreed.
Fast forward to the day I'm to fly up, and I get a call from Molly. She explains that our grandmother is giving her her old house in exchange for the childcare until my mother got out of jail should the worst case scenario happen, and she wanted to know if I could live in full time with her. In exchange she would pay my way through driving school and get me a car off Facebook marketplace, which would roughly equal out to three months of paid labor. She explained that I wouldn't have to do any chores(though it would be nice) and she would support me financially so that I didn't need to get a job(though I also could if I wanted to) and I could put my full time and care toward the children. This seemed like a fair deal to me, so I agreed. We talked about a few other minor details, such as my room(I wouldn't have one, and would be sleeping in the corner of the living room) and food(I requested that she get healthy food because eating excessive amounts of junk food triggers my ED, which she agreed to but more on that later).
I fly up and reconnect with all of my siblings(I hadn't talked to any of them in person since the incident two years ago), and talk with a close friend of mine, who I'll call Buddy. Buddy expressed that he didn't think that me moving in full time with Molly was a good idea, and tried to imply that she might try and take advantage of me while I was there and overstep boundaries. I told him that I trusted her not to do so, and she and I had agreed that I would be spending weekends with him at his place to decompress and regularly assess my mental health. This was almost immediately backtracked by Molly, saying she didn't expect me to actually take the whole weekend and she requested Saturdays to be her "day off", which I agreed to. About a week and a half after I arrived and was settled in, we started having violence issues with the youngest(10m), and they were mostly directed toward me. We assumed that this was because my stepfather had fed the kids a story about how I had left because I didn't care about them, and he was too young to understand the truth of the situation. Molly was very attentive to my needs at first, making sure to buy fruits and vegetables as well as having the children upstairs by 9 pm so that I could have some private time to relax each night. All was good other than the violent outbursts from the youngest(who I'll nickname Chris).
After about a month, we had to give Chris to an aunt due to the violent outbursts becoming more frequent and the police having to be called several times just to get him to stop attacking me. I explained to Molly that it was affecting me pretty badly, and she and I sat down and talked it out, deciding I wasn't at a point that I needed to leave yet, however if we kept him I would be. So we let Chris go up to my aunts, who we'll call Aunt Hayley. After that things calmed down in the household, with there only being two major fights between the remaining three children. During this time, Molly began to talk about how stressed she was about finances, as well as she signed up for a college course and got a boyfriend. I didn't see this as a big deal at the time, but it compiled with everything else. Molly began coming home at 6-7 and immediately going to her room, and I would end up keeping watch of the children for the remainder of the night. This didn't bother me too much at the time, as I saw it as helping her, however I could. Before this, she and I had pretty evenly split chores, with both of us doing dishes, laundry, and trash periodically. Once she began this college course, I took up the entirety of the dishes, laundry for all of the children, and majority of trash. Molly tended to her room and mandated when the children cleaned their rooms and their upstairs bathroom, but other than that was in her room either doing classwork or hanging out with her boyfriend. During this time she also stopped getting the healthier foods, despite me helping with grocery lists and requesting healthier foods, opting instead for snacks or frozen foods such as pizzas, hot pockets, bagel bites, etc. This upset me seeing as I had already explained to her my issues with said foods, but I didn't feel I had a right to make comment seeing as she was still financially supporting me.
During this time, my no contact order with my mother was lifted, and I agreed to speak with her again, seeing as she had eventually denounced her borderline worship of my stepfather and told the police everything, and was now in therapy and parenting classes. To be clear, from the moment I had arrived in Ohio, I had wanted nothing to do with her, and the only reason I had agreed to talk to her was to give her one last opportunity to man up and explain everything properly. She did, and as I had suspected, he had been severely abusing her in every way as well. I still didn't trust her, but I decided to give her a second chance at a relationship on the condition that she not bring any more men into my siblings lives until they were all 18 or older(which she agreed to). I began to visit her semi-regularly, and Molly and I agreed that I would go to her house Saturday nights for dinner, seeing as I was already going to Buddy's around 7 pm Saturday nights anyway, which meant it wouldn't really change any of Molly's plans. At this time I began having a friend over, who we'll call Max. Max is a close friend of mine since middle school, and Molly approved him to be around any time, however I only really had him around on Tuesdays due to his work schedule. As soon as Max met Molly, he said he didn't really like the way she talked to me, and when I didn't understand(I have autism) he explained that a lot of how she speaks to me sounds like she's talking down to/making fun of me, and that when I say something she doesn't seem to take me seriously. I brushed this off, thinking that it was just him not being used to her somewhat abrasive personality.
Molly continued to complain about finances, and I continued searching for a job as I had been since I got there, and then came the first weird incident during this. One day Molly said that our mother had offered her a motorcycle, but that she had a feeling that she wouldn't actually give it to her, and so she was going to go buy her own. I didn't mention how counter intuitive this was to her finance problem, though I should have in hindsight. She also went out that weekend to get her nails and hair professionally done(which she had told me at one point all together was around $200), as well as I believe the next weekend to get a $180 tattoo shaded. Seeing as Molly had gone out and bought a motorcycle, my mother instead offered me the bike, which I accepted. Molly then began making comments about how she knew my mother was going to give me the bike, and that was why she had gone out and gotten her own(despite the fact that I had asked for the bike before I knew it was supposed to be given to Molly, and was told only if she didn't want it because she got first dibs).
During the last month, my mental health began to hit the decline I had warned Molly about. I informed her of when it became hard to get out of bed, when I was having guilt or s/h urges, and then eventually I reached a point where I requested she take back up at least some responsibility of dishes and laundry because my mental health couldn't handle it. She got somewhat indignant about this, saying that because I was living there rent free I should be doing the majority of the chores. By this time, I had very much seen what Max had been saying about her talking down to me, however I wasn't in the mental state to go against her, so I just reiterated that I really wasn't doing well. She said that her classwork, job, and social life wouldn't allow her to have time for it, and since I had none of those I didn't have any reason to feel the way I was. At this point, Buddy and my two old roommates(who we'll call Rat and Iroh) started insisting that I should go back to the original plan and only go down in mornings and until she got home from work, however I felt obligated to help her so I stayed. They repeatedly reminded me that she still hadn't followed through on any of her promises regarding driving school, car, or respecting my triggers. I continued to stay, partially to help her and partially because I knew at this point that it would backfire on the children as well if I left.
Two weeks before I was supposed to leave, Molly pulled me aside and told me that due to financial concerns, she would be letting the children go to a foster home in two weeks, once I left. This confused me seeing as a) I hadn't been bringing in any financials, and b) she insisted on keeping the 16 year old(who I'll call Fiona) but refused to keep the other two, because (in her own words) "Fiona is the easiest to handle". I felt as if I was to blame for this because the way Molly had presented it to me made it seem like the only reason she was letting the children go was because I was leaving, and a few days earlier she had been trying to push "if you could only stay another month". This plummeted my mental health, and about a week later(a week before my stay was supposed to end) I hit the point of actively wanting to self end. I informed her of this, and she got cold with me, saying she wished I had told her sooner. I reminded her that I had vocalized every step for things going down hill, and she insisted that it wasnt enough and I should have given her more notice, as well as claiming she could have done this whole thing without me and that I was more trouble than I was worth at points. She then started saying that I had only come back to get close to our mother and that I didn't actually care about her or the children(as I said, I hated my mother when I arrived). I told her that I would stay till that Friday night as it was Thursday and I didn't want to force her to try to find last minute childcare so late at night. At some point in this conversation we got a call from the middle(14nb, whom we'll call Sora) child's school saying that Sora had assaulted another student. This student had been making fun of Sora for months, claiming that they deserved the abuse they went through and that she hoped my stepfather got out of jail so that he could hurt Sora worse. I requested Molly not be too intense on the punishment, seeing as this had been an ongoing issue that had been brought to both the principal and Molly's attention, and been brushed off by both. Molly started beating me about how disgusting it was that I was condoning violence, and I clarified that while I didn't condone it, this situation had been hard enough on Sora. At this point in time, I had had enough and told her that if she didn't want my input and wanted to belittle me and "put me in my place", then she could put her money where her mouth was about being able to do this without me and I would leave that night. She said fine, but that she knew I wasn't actually wanting to end myself and was just using it as a convenient out of the situation. I began to pack. As soon as she got home she said that I had been taking her tone wrong, and that she hadn't meant to attack me. She then started saying that I wasn't screwing her over in this, I was screwing the children over. This was while the children were out of the house, and I did raise my voice, telling her that I wasn't trying to screw anyone over, I was following exactly the boundaries I had set, as I should have from the beginning. Buddy came and picked me up, and I went and spent the night with my mother.
The next day I was informed that Molly had told our caseworker that I had bailed, and that the children were to be picked up the next day(all except Fiona, who would stay in Molly's care and eventually the possibility of Molly adopting her was discussed). That Friday was the court case which was to decide what was to happen with my mother. Molly had expressed throughout this entire process that she didn't want my mother to go to jail, and that she would do almost anything to keep her out. The prosecutors had also expressed that they didn't want her to get a full 3 year sentence. During the court proceedings, Molly was the only one in the room requesting the maximum sentence for my mother, and during her speech was consistently deadnaming and misgendering me, which no one else in the court room was doing. My mother walked out with a 60 day sentence, which wasn't terrible, but the damage was done to mine and Molly's relationship, seeing as it was already strained before I found out she had been lying to me for months about her stances on this. She and I had had several conversations about this, while I hated my mother and whole I was healing my relationship with her, and her stance of wanting her to stay out of jail had never wavered. I unfollowed her on most medias, but kept her unblocked on everything. Three days before I was supposed to leave, I realized that my leather jacket and my keys to my boyfriend's collar were still at her house, and I tried to contact her to ask for them back. I texted her twice, neither of which she responded to, and then Buddy called her. She claimed she hadn't seen them, but refused to let us come over to look for them, despite the fact that the last time I had seen either one was in the house because I had been too depressed to leave the house. She continuously refused to let me come check, or even let someone else come check, claiming that she didn't trust me to put things back the way they were, despite me never showing any inclination of touching anything that wasn't mine. I went to text her again on the matter and found that she had blocked me on all platforms. Shortly after this Fiona would start claiming the same things about me not actually wanting to end myself and just using it as an excuse, showing that she had been talking to Molly about this, and her views on pretty much everything shifted to Molly's views. This caused a rift to the point that while I have strong contact with my other siblings, I don't have much contact with Fiona.
I feel as though it was wrong to leave the children in the situation they were in, and I desperately wish I could have done more to help, but I knew that once I hit that mental state I was no longer safe to be around them and only ran the risk of traumatizing them further if I had stayed.
2024.05.18 10:41 Public_Smoke9597 AITAH for ending my friendship cuz of my friendâs gf?
I(28F) have been friends with with Kevin(26M) for almost 4yrs. Iâve been with my boyfriend Daniel(24M) for 4yrs so naturally Daniel & Kevin became close like brothers. Daniel, Kevin & I have been living together for 3yrs. Kevin has been dating Natalie(22F) for less than a year.
submitted by Public_Smoke9597 to AITAH [link] [comments]
At first we loved having her over she was sweet,talkative, friendly and I was looking forward to having a new girl friend. Until we started to notice her toxic behavior. Iâll give some examples: she goes thru his phone, if he came to our house instead of hanging out in the living room with the rest of us sheâd go to Kevinâs room and if he didnât follow her sheâd pick a fight, if he didnât respond to her texts sometimes he did warn her ahead of time cuz heâd be busy with work, school or helping us out with something sheâd blow up his phone and would cry and yell hysterically, if he had class on her day off she would sit in her car in the schoolâs parking lot for the 5hrs heâd be in class. What really concerned me was she went thru his posts, likes and comments on Instagram, she began to stalk and harass (a girl he actually knew not a random girl) cuz he made too many comments on her posts( long before they got together). She ended her friendship with Kevin cuz of Natalieâs harassment. After noticing this behavior we have asked him if heâs happy he admitted he isnât but isnât willing to give up on their relationship. We donât want to butt in and give advice cuz we donât think itâs our place and we donât want her to think weâre advising him to break up with her. But later Daniel found out that she looks down on our relationship cuz of our sense of humor and how we shit talk to each other and she has called Daniel some derogatory names cuz after hanging out Kevin didnât go to her car right away cuz he got caught up in a conversation with Daniel(not about her). She later âapologizedâ and claimed she said it out of anger. Then I noticed that when I would text Kevin about household related things (ie rent & chores) he wouldnât text me but would tell Daniel the answer to my question and ask him to pass it to me. I admit I became paranoid that Natalie was stalking my social media even though she knows who I am and that Iâm with Daniel but my concerns got the best of me so I blocked her. A few days after I blocked Natalie I tried to message Kevin on Facebook and it said â15 mutual friends. You and Kevin are not friends on Facebookâ so I told Daniel and he questioned Kevin about it & he had no clue. It turns out that Natalie went thru his social media and unfriended me on all his accounts cuz I blocked her, she claimed she did it out of anger. I unblocked her and limited my contact with Kevin to ease her issues. But he hasnât tried to add me back or replied to my texts but will still answer them thru Daniel, nor has she tried to apologize for going thru his social media. I felt like she put an end to our friendship so I sent him a lengthy text apologizing for blocking Natalie cuz I didnât know it would trigger her, that I couldnât continue being friends with him due to Natalieâs toxic behavior and me feeling unsafe & uncomfortable and I would block him to ease her issues. He replied saying that this is coming out of nowhere, how Natalie never had an issue with me, that she wasnât stalking my social media, claimed I only blocked her after finding out what she said about Daniel, sheâs never done anything to make me feel unsafe or uncomfortable and that sheâs always been respectful. I havenât responded. AITAH for ending our friendship?
2024.05.18 06:58 richierich6821 AITA for asking my girlfriend for an explanation about her choice of a particular member of her FB friends?
We have been in a serious LDR for a couple of years and I have booked an Aug. flight to go visit my gf in the Philippines. We consider and understand our relationship to be monogamous. We are old school (in our 50âs). However, I discovered her previous American boyfriend was friends listed on a couple of her four or five Facebook profiles. I casually brought it to light during one of our at least daily conversations. She insisted he blocked her during the end of their relationship and that she didnât realize that he âmay have suddenly unblocked herâ She then proceeded to gaslight me and insisted I am overreacting. We always strived to be transparent and better at communicating so it was natural for me to inquire about this âsmall matterâ.
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2024.05.18 05:19 Reasonable-Ad-1742 Narcissistic ex
So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.
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2024.05.18 05:08 theinfohoarder IF YOU BLOCKED THEM IT WAS FOR A REASON!!! DONâT SECOND GUESS IT
I never imagined blocking my ex. We had broke no contact and we both still had hopes about us. I even saw him in person. It was definitely a mistake.
Things were fine, until he got super obsessed about me âfinding comfort in other guysâ. Which Iâm not. I have no interest in anyone and wonât for a long time. He started accusing me out of no where, calling me names, saying I wasnât shit. Mind you he is 30 years old.
He said all this recently when I told him I had a very bad day, I had unimaginable anxiety and physical pain from it (I have a severe anxiety disorder), and I was crying about it otp with him.. then he said âwell iâm sure you have someone to comfort youâ âdonât you , huh? â taunting and insinuating I was seeking comfort from another guy. I hung up, but I told him I had too much anxiety for it. He wouldnât stop.. it got worse and worse. He was blowing up my phone saying mean stuff. I BLOCKED HIM. He proceeded to message me the next day on facebook his screenshotted undelivered messages. I had to block him on absolutely everything.
IF YOU BLOCKED THEM IT WAS FOR A REASON. I miss him every day. I get the urge to unblock him and talk to him again. I wonât listen to that voice. He hurt me a lot since the break up. I remember our seldom good times and it makes me feel so empty and wanting to reach out.
DONâT BREAK NO CONTACT/BLOCKING BECAUSE THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON WHY IT HAPPENED. I REMIND MYSELF THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS THERE IS A REASON I MADE THAT CHOICE. I love him, but I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF TOO.
Love to you all. Youâre the only people who understand what Iâm going throughâŚ
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Things were fine, until he got super obsessed about me âfinding comfort in other guysâ. Which Iâm not. I have no interest in anyone and wonât for a long time. He started accusing me out of no where, calling me names, saying I wasnât shit. Mind you he is 30 years old.
He said all this recently when I told him I had a very bad day, I had unimaginable anxiety and physical pain from it (I have a severe anxiety disorder), and I was crying about it otp with him.. then he said âwell iâm sure you have someone to comfort youâ âdonât you , huh? â taunting and insinuating I was seeking comfort from another guy. I hung up, but I told him I had too much anxiety for it. He wouldnât stop.. it got worse and worse. He was blowing up my phone saying mean stuff. I BLOCKED HIM. He proceeded to message me the next day on facebook his screenshotted undelivered messages. I had to block him on absolutely everything.
IF YOU BLOCKED THEM IT WAS FOR A REASON. I miss him every day. I get the urge to unblock him and talk to him again. I wonât listen to that voice. He hurt me a lot since the break up. I remember our seldom good times and it makes me feel so empty and wanting to reach out.
DONâT BREAK NO CONTACT/BLOCKING BECAUSE THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON WHY IT HAPPENED. I REMIND MYSELF THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS THERE IS A REASON I MADE THAT CHOICE. I love him, but I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF TOO.
Love to you all. Youâre the only people who understand what Iâm going throughâŚ
2024.05.18 04:54 Reasonable-Ad-1742 Escaping my narcissistic ex/ my brothers ex best friend
So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.
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2024.05.18 04:43 Reasonable-Ad-1742 Escaping my ex
So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.
submitted by Reasonable-Ad-1742 to NarcissisticSpouses [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 22:50 DancesWithGhosts500 Should I move on?
I am â35/Fâ and Iâm looking for advice or insight on a situation. I was close with a gay guy friend for 6 years â42/Mâ and we worked together for 3 of those years. We had what I thought was a pretty strong friendship. We knew one another pretty well and were there for each during some really tough times, including during the pandemic. Our friendship ended up having a falling out just for a year ago (Feb 2023) as he began dating someone struggling with drug addition that would go missing. This friend relied on me for support during those times that their boyfriend went missing and I was always there. This eventually took a toll on me after having it happen 4 times in the span of 5 months and we had a big fight in June of 2022. We did not speak for 4 months then reconciled but the friendship was not the same after that. After a period of time, in Feb of 23, the friend texted me telling me they were going to be spending the majority of their time with their partner with the partner moving closer to them. I didnât take it well at the time and ended up cutting them out of my life at the time from the continual hurt and drama that was going on. After six months I tried to reach out to this person to reconcile but they did not reply to me and told a mutual friend of ours to tell me not to reach out again at that time. I re-blocked this person on social media and gave them space. Iâve been running into them around the same areas I go to for coffee and lunch sometimes lately and though they havenât seen me, Iâve seen them (we work in different departments at a college campus). One of my coworkers who knows about the situation encouraged me to try reach out again as it had been 9 months since I last attempted to reach out. I sent a letter in the mail to let them know that I was wishing them and their friend partner well and that I was still here if they ever wanted to reconnect or catch up and left my number. I also unblocked this person on Instagram and Facebook. While unblocking on Instagram, I saw they had made their profile public and looked at their story after sending the letter to subtly show I had unblocked them. 24 hours later they blocked me on Instagram and never responded to me. I feel like Iâve done my best to show this person that I donât harbor hard feelings anymore and made a true effort to reconnect. Is there a chance this person will ever be open to reconciling?
submitted by DancesWithGhosts500 to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 05:02 Unlucky_Alfalfa_8252 Im so confused
So my ex we have been apart since like late October been no contact since about early November I havenât spoken to her texted her or seen her for the last 7 months
I work with her you we sister tho she told me that my ex had seen me somewhere I donât know where she didnât speak to me or nothing so I didnât know until her sister told me and I havenât mentioned my ex to her sister at all since we started working together and her sister told me that out of nowhere
I just donât understand why she told me that maybe I should ask her or something but Iâm not sure also my ex still had that she is in a relationship on her Facebook and that also confuses me so much I donât understand itâs still our date in there but I donât understand why after so long she still has it
As of recently I unblocked her from everything because I feel like Iâve moved on I mean I still think about her atleast once everyday but Iâm to the point where Iâm not sure if sheâs coming back I want her to but at the same time Iâm not sure if I want that
submitted by Unlucky_Alfalfa_8252 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
I work with her you we sister tho she told me that my ex had seen me somewhere I donât know where she didnât speak to me or nothing so I didnât know until her sister told me and I havenât mentioned my ex to her sister at all since we started working together and her sister told me that out of nowhere
I just donât understand why she told me that maybe I should ask her or something but Iâm not sure also my ex still had that she is in a relationship on her Facebook and that also confuses me so much I donât understand itâs still our date in there but I donât understand why after so long she still has it
As of recently I unblocked her from everything because I feel like Iâve moved on I mean I still think about her atleast once everyday but Iâm to the point where Iâm not sure if sheâs coming back I want her to but at the same time Iâm not sure if I want that
2024.05.17 03:07 Ok_Contest_569 AM i wrong for the not forgiving my dads wife
Hello to give you some background My relationship with my dad, who is 57 years old, has always been rough, but we still see each other every once in a while. In 2018, my dad got married to my stepmom, 55 years old; I didn't find out until 2020, and I learned about it on Facebook. This is where it all started; I didn't know this woman until late 2021, when she moved in with my dad.
We had a good relationshipânothing too crazyâalways respectful and nice to each other since I wasn't there too often. My mom, 38, and dad, got married very young and separated before I was 1 year old. Everyone gets along, though, because we went on vacation with his new wife, my mom's side of the family, and dad's side. I thought everything was fine in December 2022.
In November 2023, I was in the hospital, and my mom was trying to call my dad. I didn't want to call because I was in pain, and we found out that my mom was blocked, which is strange because they don't talk unless it's about me, which isn't often. I called him to ask why she blocked my mom, and he said he didn't know why she did it, but it had to stay that way. That's when I realized it was her who blocked my mom, so I told him I wasn't going to tell him about my surgery until he unblocked her. The next day, my stepmother posted on Instagram that she shouldn't blackmail anyone because the only person who loses is me. This wasn't the first time something similar happened; one time, my dad and I got into a fight at his house, and she posted "don't bring drama to my door." When I told my dad about it, all she said was that the internet is public and she can post whatever she wants, so I took a step back from them. Three months had passed since I had seen or talked to my dad, and he called me to say she wanted to apologize and talk. I went to his house, where she began by telling me that my bad behavior is why people who love me can't love me.
She was talking about my dad. As I said before, our relationship is rocky because of things that happened in the past that she wasn't there for, so it wasn't her business. When I turned to leave, she followed me and told me not to go. We then got into an argument, with me telling her to mind her own business when it came to my relationship with my dad and her saying that as his wife, she could say whatever she wanted. When we got outside, things got heated, and my dad was just standing there. She then said that if we were in her home country, I would have all my teeth knocked out. I called my mom because my dad wasn't defending me, and my mom got involved. She ended up finding that my quince photo wasn't hung up because I look so much like my mom. After a month, she sent me a line to say she was sorry. I don't care about or want her apology, but everyone on my dad's side of the family thinks I should accept it and move on. I just can't get past what she said.
submitted by Ok_Contest_569 to amiwrong [link] [comments]
We had a good relationshipânothing too crazyâalways respectful and nice to each other since I wasn't there too often. My mom, 38, and dad, got married very young and separated before I was 1 year old. Everyone gets along, though, because we went on vacation with his new wife, my mom's side of the family, and dad's side. I thought everything was fine in December 2022.
In November 2023, I was in the hospital, and my mom was trying to call my dad. I didn't want to call because I was in pain, and we found out that my mom was blocked, which is strange because they don't talk unless it's about me, which isn't often. I called him to ask why she blocked my mom, and he said he didn't know why she did it, but it had to stay that way. That's when I realized it was her who blocked my mom, so I told him I wasn't going to tell him about my surgery until he unblocked her. The next day, my stepmother posted on Instagram that she shouldn't blackmail anyone because the only person who loses is me. This wasn't the first time something similar happened; one time, my dad and I got into a fight at his house, and she posted "don't bring drama to my door." When I told my dad about it, all she said was that the internet is public and she can post whatever she wants, so I took a step back from them. Three months had passed since I had seen or talked to my dad, and he called me to say she wanted to apologize and talk. I went to his house, where she began by telling me that my bad behavior is why people who love me can't love me.
She was talking about my dad. As I said before, our relationship is rocky because of things that happened in the past that she wasn't there for, so it wasn't her business. When I turned to leave, she followed me and told me not to go. We then got into an argument, with me telling her to mind her own business when it came to my relationship with my dad and her saying that as his wife, she could say whatever she wanted. When we got outside, things got heated, and my dad was just standing there. She then said that if we were in her home country, I would have all my teeth knocked out. I called my mom because my dad wasn't defending me, and my mom got involved. She ended up finding that my quince photo wasn't hung up because I look so much like my mom. After a month, she sent me a line to say she was sorry. I don't care about or want her apology, but everyone on my dad's side of the family thinks I should accept it and move on. I just can't get past what she said.
2024.05.17 01:01 Wooden-Conclusion867 Did he block, unblock, and then block me again? How to tell if someone did that
My ex and I broke up a year ago. He blocked me on everything including Facebook. I moved on and stopped bothering looking his name up. I typed his name in my search bar and I found a few posts with his name (as if they tagged him) but I can't view his profile or click on the name because he has me blocked lol. I'm wondering if he unblocked me for a short period of time to allow me to see those posts or something. I'm not friends with the people that tagged him in a post so now I am confused as to why I can see the posts.
submitted by Wooden-Conclusion867 to facebook [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 18:53 Comfortable_Sun7015 Guide me please
6 months ago, I became friends on Facebook with a lovely girl from my country, India. We used to speak very rarely, like twice a month for just 5 minutes, as I was often busy sharing memes on my wall. Gradually, she started reacting to every post I shared, and our conversations increased to 4 or 5 times a month.
One day, I asked for her phone number, which she promptly gave me. Despite becoming WhatsApp friends, I didn't message her until my birthday the next month when she called me, and we spoke for an hour. Eventually, I started developing feelings for her and confessed my feelings, surprising her. However, she expressed hesitance about relationships, citing a serious breakup from two years prior.
Afterward, she began ignoring me, and when I asked what was wrong, she claimed to be unwell. Feeling frustrated, I unfriended her on Facebook and blocked her on WhatsApp. Despite this, she sent a food recipe video to my Facebook messenger.
After unblocking her on WhatsApp, I wrote her a beautiful poem, and she responded positively, expressing happiness. However, she resumed ignoring me afterward. Feeling frustrated, I decided to express my feelings, stating that I felt I wasn't the one she was looking for, and suggested we should part ways. She replied, "What can I say? I want you to succeed in your life."
I didn't respond, and it's been two weeks since I blocked her on WhatsApp (though not on Facebook), where I still see her online frequently. Despite this, I refrain from messaging her.
submitted by Comfortable_Sun7015 to Crushes [link] [comments]
One day, I asked for her phone number, which she promptly gave me. Despite becoming WhatsApp friends, I didn't message her until my birthday the next month when she called me, and we spoke for an hour. Eventually, I started developing feelings for her and confessed my feelings, surprising her. However, she expressed hesitance about relationships, citing a serious breakup from two years prior.
Afterward, she began ignoring me, and when I asked what was wrong, she claimed to be unwell. Feeling frustrated, I unfriended her on Facebook and blocked her on WhatsApp. Despite this, she sent a food recipe video to my Facebook messenger.
After unblocking her on WhatsApp, I wrote her a beautiful poem, and she responded positively, expressing happiness. However, she resumed ignoring me afterward. Feeling frustrated, I decided to express my feelings, stating that I felt I wasn't the one she was looking for, and suggested we should part ways. She replied, "What can I say? I want you to succeed in your life."
I didn't respond, and it's been two weeks since I blocked her on WhatsApp (though not on Facebook), where I still see her online frequently. Despite this, I refrain from messaging her.
2024.05.16 18:50 EquipmentJunior16 Ex (F19) cheated on me(M22) and now wants to get back. Im scared of being hurt again, should I get back?
I dont fall in love easily. But this girl (call her X) when I was dating her proved again and again that she did love me. When I showed signs of doubt, she often cut her arms to show her pain. I eventually let all my gaurds down, closed my eyes and allowed myself to fall in love with her. Alas she loved me... she was the one... right?
I found out she was cheating on me after 6 months of dating (with lets say Y)
Confronted them both, she took his side and told me that she was infact cheating on him with me. So she had more responsibility towards him. She also humiliated me and told me to "just suck it up, its over amongst us"
Later that day I texted her, she said "Im sorry I love you more but I cant be a cheater"
His bf got to know and confronted me again.
She kept going back and forth until she texted me "we wont talk from now" (No formal breakup).
I begged her for a phonecall so I could get answers to all my questions but she stopped replying.
She blocked me on all accounts except facebook.
I kept texting her on facebook for 5 days hoping for a reply but she didn't reply. Eventually I stopped trying after 5 days.
I deleted facebook... my mental health took a toll... I woke up screaming often times at nights. I used to use facebook lite to chat with her the most. Whenever I saw the fb lite interface on someone else's device, I got anxiety attacks. I laughed on a few days until I cried. I took therapy for the first time.
To know the answers of the questions I had in my heart. I manipulated his bf into being real good friends with me. He now feels bad for me.(I still hate him) I found out that she was infact dating me prior to him and she cheated on me with him. She was just lying to me.
She is also lying to him that she has blocked me on all accounts but she has me unblocked on fb.
It's been a month and luckily I have a lot of dependable friends who helped me get better soon.
Not even a month later, Today I found out she had unblocked me on all her accounts and had texted me on insta, wanting me back.... when I saw her texts I started hyperventilating.
No one ever loved me so much that she could harm herself for me. At the same time no one ever harmed me so much mentally.
What should I do? Please help đđ
submitted by EquipmentJunior16 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I found out she was cheating on me after 6 months of dating (with lets say Y)
Confronted them both, she took his side and told me that she was infact cheating on him with me. So she had more responsibility towards him. She also humiliated me and told me to "just suck it up, its over amongst us"
Later that day I texted her, she said "Im sorry I love you more but I cant be a cheater"
His bf got to know and confronted me again.
She kept going back and forth until she texted me "we wont talk from now" (No formal breakup).
I begged her for a phonecall so I could get answers to all my questions but she stopped replying.
She blocked me on all accounts except facebook.
I kept texting her on facebook for 5 days hoping for a reply but she didn't reply. Eventually I stopped trying after 5 days.
I deleted facebook... my mental health took a toll... I woke up screaming often times at nights. I used to use facebook lite to chat with her the most. Whenever I saw the fb lite interface on someone else's device, I got anxiety attacks. I laughed on a few days until I cried. I took therapy for the first time.
To know the answers of the questions I had in my heart. I manipulated his bf into being real good friends with me. He now feels bad for me.(I still hate him) I found out that she was infact dating me prior to him and she cheated on me with him. She was just lying to me.
She is also lying to him that she has blocked me on all accounts but she has me unblocked on fb.
It's been a month and luckily I have a lot of dependable friends who helped me get better soon.
Not even a month later, Today I found out she had unblocked me on all her accounts and had texted me on insta, wanting me back.... when I saw her texts I started hyperventilating.
No one ever loved me so much that she could harm herself for me. At the same time no one ever harmed me so much mentally.
What should I do? Please help đđ