This is my first reddit post, although I have been a long time lurker of many subreddits. I am 23 years old and an only child. I am not a native english speaker, so please forgive any weird formatting or any spelling/grammar mistakes.
As the title states, my mom died ... and I am currently writing this to try and process this whole situation. I've tried to section all the paragraphs in chronological order, to make reading easier. Sorry for the extremely long post - I just needed to get it all out.
We only just celebrated her 60th birthday back in february. She did all the cooking, cleaning and planning without any trouble - even down to picking out the perfect napkins and flowers for her white and gold theme.
My mother was without a job. She had been jobless for almost 2 years now, after she was fired from her old cleaning job due to frequent sick days because of stomach cramps and pain. She was seen by a doctor back in 2022 for her stomach aches, and they found no physical cause - hence why we concluded it must've been due to stress. The stress and stomach pains subsided after she'd been fired. So we thought no more of it.
In march she was doing a 4-week internship in a local supermarket to see if she might've been a good fit for a permanent paid position. This is common practice for unemployeed people here in Denmark.
My mother started having stomach pains again during this internship, soon followed by back pains as well. She figured this was due to her spending most of the day sitting as a cashier in an uncomfortable position. My mother wasn't very tall, so she had trouble reaching the floor pedals that control the cashier conveyer belt.
In the beginning of april, she went to the doctor. Her stomach and back pains hadn't gone away although the internship was over. Her doctor also concluded it was most likely due to her uncomfortable working position, and that it would pass in a few weeks time. The doctor did some bloodwork, and found that she was severely lacking vitamin D, but nothing else seemed concerning at the time.
In the middle of april, her pains had only gotten worse, and she went to the doctor again. Her doctor did more bloodwork, and did a phisycal exam of my mothers stomach. Her doctor ordered a CT scan to check for anything serious.
19th of april. I accompany my mother to the hospital for her CT scan. We get told that we'll have the results in a week or so. My mother is not looking good when I pick her up at the bus station. She is more pale than usual, and has trouble walking at her usual pace.
23th of april. My mother received a referral to a meeting at the hospital with a doctor and nurse, to discuss the results of the CT scan. This referral is sent from the hospitals cancer department. My mother and I speak on the phone, she is concerned, but I tell her that this type of referral must just be standard pratice, and that she shouldn't worry untill we have spoken with the doctor. I cried that night.
25th of april. The day before her meeting with the doctor, I received a phone call from my mother. She tells me that she had fallen while at home, but that I shouldn't worry. I, of course, worry.
I pack my things and leave for my mothers house, I live an hour away by bus. When I finally arrive my mother seems okay-ish, but the house is another story. My mother is normally known for being a clean freak, and her house has always been clean and organized, But it wasn't anymore.
Her kitchen was a mess, and the dishwasher hadn't been empited or loaded for at least two weeks. Her bathroom is even worse, and I won't even begin to describe the state of the toilet it self. It is a sight that will horrify me for the rest of my life. I cleaned everything, while my mother rested.
My mother had also started sleeping on the guest bed, saying her own was too uncomfortable for her.
While cleaning the bathroom, my mother wakes up. Despite her state, she says she wants to help. But before I can even tell her no, my mother has another fall. Her legs essentially just crumble beneath her, and she falls backwards and lands head first on the floor. We argue back and forth about calling an ambulance, but she refuses to let me - so I don't, even though I should have. I guess I still respected my moms authority too much.
My mother lives alone, as my parents are divorced (they are very good friends though). My mother refuses to let me call my dad and tell him about this whole situation. She is stubborn and too proud to admit defeat.
26th of april. We take a taxi to the hospital. The taxi driver has a help my mother into the car. During the carride my mother says very little, but seems slightly delirious and very tired. When we arrive at the hospital, I quickly borrow a hospital wheelchair for my mother. She is almost unable to walk unassisted at this point.
After waiting for a while in the waiting area, a nurse comes and guides us to a meeting room. My mother is very tired at this point, and still delirious, and I have to handle most of the conversation with the doctor.
The CT scan results showed Pancreatic cancer. The cancer had already spread to her liver and abdomial cavity.
I had read about this cancer a few days prior, trying to figure out what was wrong with my mother. I knew what this meant, and I knew that it was effectively a death sentence. The doctor told us that an operation was out of the question, since the cancer had already spread. And due to the clearly weak state of my mothers health, chemo would also not be offered, as it would finish her.
I told the doctor of her two falls and the state of her home, and that she would not be safe on her own. The doctor had her admitted to a nearby bed department for stomach- and gastrointestinal surgery patients.
The hospital did a ton of bloodwork on my mother when she got admitted, and everything was off. All numbers were either too high or dangerously low. My mothers health was in fact so bad, that I was told she was a heart attack risk. I was also told that if a heart attack happened, she would not be brought back - as it would only prolong a very short and painful life.
I called my dad.
27th of april. My mother slept most of the day.
28th of april. My mother had another fall during the night, trying to get to the bathroom.
29th of april. My dad shows up to the hospital. He wasn't able to get off work until now, as he works in the other end of the country. He is shocked to see my mother in this state. We are told once again by a different doctor that nothing can be done. They are looking into getting her a spot at a nearby hospice.
The rest of the remaining week is spent in hospital. My dad and I are by my mothers side every day. She doesn't leave her hospital room, apart from a few times a day for a smoke break outside. My dad and I take her outside in a wheelchair, which she needs help to get in and out of.
Her bloodwork is showing some slight improvements, but she is still having trouble with infections and receives a lot of antibiotics. She eats like a mouse, but drinks a lot of fluids.
My mother is often very confused or tired most days. She gets referred for an MR scan, to see if the cancer has spread to her brain, or if one of her falls has caused permanent damage. Lucikly the MR scan shows that nothing is wrong with her brain.
She gets confused about her diagnosis a few times, thinking that she had brain cancer instead due to the MR scan. I have to remind her a couple times about what the doctor actually said.
6th of may. My mother seems to have stabilized somewhat so my dad has gone back to work.
7th of may. I get told by the hospital staff that my mother is to be transferred to a different hospital, which is one hour away. I become very upset by this news, and unfortunately yell at one of my mothers nurses in frustration. I yell at her that It'll be harder for me to get to my mother in time if something were to happen. I am ashamed of this childish behavior, as the transfer was the best desicion for my mother in hindsight.
I leave with my mother as we get transferred to the new hospital and their department of palliative care.
I am very ashamed by my behavior to my mothers old nurse, as this department for palliative care was truly the best place for my mother. She seemed very satisfied and happy to have been transferred. They have a large garden with wild flowers, and lovely staff. And my mother got a much bigger room all to herself. She also meets with their physical therapist, who helps my mother relieve some of her pain.
My mother and I have dinner together in the evening in her hospital room. My mom is her old self, although with some delayed speaking. I unfortunately have to rush a bit when leaving, as to not miss my bus home, so I quickly say goodbye to her and leave.
8th of may. In the morning on my way to the new hospital, I received a phone call from her new doctor. My mothers liver has suddenly started to fail due to the cancer. When I arrive, she is asleep. I am told she wont wake up again.
I called my dad, but he wont arrive until the evening, due to the distance from his workplace.
I spend most of the day in my mothers hospital room, listening to her sleep. She occasionally attempts to cough in her sleep, but it mainly just sounds like yells. It is terrifying. The nurses give her pain medication and some sleep medication to help her body relax.
My dad arrives in the late evening. We drive to my mothers house and stay the night there. We spend most of the late evening looking at pictures and scrapbooks of my mother, and packing a bag with clothes for her, for when she passes.
When prepareing the guest bed for my dad, we find a blanket that my mother slept on. It is stained, matching the previous state of the bathroom. We throw the blanket out.
9th of may. Mom is sleeping. Dad and I spend the day at the hospital, but we don't sit in her hospital room. It is too eerie and uncomfortable. We check on her occassionally. Towards the evening, her breathing becomes slightly more rapid and quick. But the nurses tell us to go home. There is no reason for us to sit by her side during the night - as it'll only make it worse for us.
10th of may. I wake at 6.12 am to my phone ringing. It is a nurse. My mother has passed away in her sleep at 6.05 that morning due to liver failure. My dad and I drive to the hospital. I am the first to see her body after the nurses prepared and dressed it in the clothing we picked.
(warning: the following paragraph may be slightly upsetting to some readers)
It it eerie and uncomfortable to see my mother like this. A symptom of pancreatic and liver cancers is that your skin will yellow. Something that I hadn't noticed in my mother till now. I cant help but think that she looks like a wax doll, although I feel horrible for thinking it. I finally touch her hand, after gathering the courage to, almost like I am afraid to distrub her. Her hands are cold, and only get colder as I sit by her side. I am supposed to say my goodbyes to her, and tell her how much she means to me, but in this moment I am speechless. I can't say anything, even on my mothers deathbed. I feels wrong to speak to a corpse. I should've said those things while she could hear them instead. I kiss her forehead before I leave the room.
17th of may. Funeral. The church and casket was beautifully decorated with colorful flowers, like my mother had requested. She didn't want anything white or depressing. I cried all the way through the funeral service, stopping only when it was time to carry the casket out. My dad on the left side, and me on the right, and some other family members behind us. Purple rain by Prince was played on the church piano as we carried the casket. I knew the casket would be heavy, but nothing prepared me for the sheer weight of that thing.
21th of may. Today. I don't really know what to think of my mothers death. Some days I almost forget that shes gone or that all this has been happening, until something reminds me of it.
In a way, I am thankful. Of course I didn't want my mother to die, but I'm glad that her suffering wasn't prolonged for months while she slowly withered away to cancer. And I'm thankful that my mother didn't live to suffer from alzheimers, like her own mother. And I am glad that if anything, my mothers death has brought my dad and I closer.
But at the same time, I am angry that she didn't get to live more of her life. She was only 60 years old, and should have had 20 more years at least. If she at least was 70, it might've been easier to lose her but I doubt it.
I think mostly of all the things she will miss out on, which saddens me the most. I am 23 and my mother wont get to see most of my life or my achivements. If I have kids, she'll never meet them, and she I get married, she'll never see it. My 24th birthday is coming up soon, and I don't know how I'll handle that day without my mother for the first time - or christmas for that matter.
I want my mom.

This post is part of a series of reviews. To see them all, click here.
Historical information found on Shannon O'Sullivan's Doctor Who website (relevant page here and the TARDIS Wiki (relevant page here). Primary/secondary source material can be found in the source sections of O'Sullivan's website, and rarely as inline citations on the TARDIS Wiki.

Serial Information

• Episodes: Season 19, Episodes 1-4
• Airdates: 4th - 12th January 1982
• Doctor: 5th
• Companions: Adric, Nyssa, Tegan
• Other Notable Characters: The Tremas Master
• Writer: Christopher H. Bidmead
• Director: Fiona Cumming
• Producer: John Nathan-Turner
• Script Editor: Eric Seward

Review

Welcome aboard. I'm the Doctor. Or will be if this regeneration works out. - The Doctor
This might not sound plausible at first blush, but Castrovalva might just be the strangest Doctor Who story ever.
Not in terms of content, the actual plot of Castrovalva while a bit mind bending, isn't that strange. But the actual way it's laid out, the pacing, the way it's constructed, it looks so different from anything else this show has done.
I mean, is Castrovalva even one story? Should I split the first half and the second half into different sections of this review? Into different reviews? Maybe it's best to start with how we got here.
Tom Baker was always going to be a challenge to replace. I think it's difficult to properly conceive of, in modern terms, how long Tom Baker was the Doctor. I mean, he held the role for seven seasons. He was The Doctor (the definite article, you might say), in popular consciousness. If you were a twelve year old kid who first started watching the show when he took over, you would have been an adult when he left. So, how do you replace that?
Well, what Producer John Nathan-Turner did next made a lot of sense. Tom Baker had been an unknown when he was cast. But now, having to replace him, JNT decided to take someone who was fairly well known. Nathan-Turner had worked as a production assistant on All Creatures Great and Small before becoming Doctor Who's producer. And one of its stars, Peter Davison, had achieved something of a following working on that show. The shorter, light-haired younger man was also a physical contrast to Tom Baker's imposingly large, dark-haired man. As a start for a new era, Davison was, it seemed, the ideal candidate.
So, naturally, Castrovalva does a lot of work trying to simultaneously convince us that this is both a brand new Doctor, but also very much still the same Doctor. Which is probably the reason for the very strange story structure. Castrovalva is pretty cleanly divided into halves. The trouble in the TARDIS section covering the first two episodes, and the portion actually set in the castle of Castrovalva, covering episodes three and four.
The first two episodes feel like they're trying to connect the Doctor back to previous incarnations. Peter Davison actually decided in rehearsal to perform several sections like he was previous iterations, and dialogue got rewritten to emphasize this (I'm especially pleased that he got in an impish giggle when he was channeling the 1st Doctor, as that's an oft overlooked element of William Hartnell's performance). There's also a pretty heavy emphasis placed on the relationship between the Doctor and the TARDIS in these two episodes. The TARDIS opens up a roundel to provide medicine, and offers the Doctor a wheelchair. We haven't really seen much evidence of the TARDIS having a mind of its own since, and this is going way back, The Edge of Destruction, but it still helps emphasize the idea of the Doctor still being the Doctor. After all, if the TARDIS is trying to take care of the Doctor, then clearly it's still the Doctor.
Though, as the Doctor admits, things are a lot rougher this time than in the past. Before this the Doctor has always regenerated in a relatively stable situation as an adventure was ending. Here, he's essentially dropped in mid-struggle with the Master and he just needs some rest in a calm place. A lot of stuff is thrown at us. Apparently the cure for post-regeneration trauma is simplicity – the more complex the environment the worse the symptoms. The TARDIS has a room for just such purposes, called a "Zero Room". In a worst case scenario (say, after you accidentally jettisoned the Zero Room to create thrust to escape the explosion of the Big Bang) the doors and walls of the Zero Room can be used to create a smaller "Zero Cabinet" which looks like a TARDIS interior-themed casket.
While that's going on, we get some of the most inane conversations you can imagine between Nyssa and Tegan. I like these bits in theory. Tegan and Nyssa are trying to work out a lot here after all. It's, for each of them, their first proper trip in the TARDIS, and what with the Doctor suffering the after-effects of regeneration and Adric off being weird (he's actually mental projection being controlled by the Master), the two of them have to figure out how to keep the Doctor healthy, stop the TARDIS from traveling directly into the creation of the universe (called the galaxy here because science fiction writers aren't scientists) and just generally hold things together. The problem is the actual dialogue is sheer nonsense. There's a lot talk about the power of the word "if". There's also a lot of talk about recursion which, while it's a theme of the overarching story had no place being introduced when it was.
This is all doubly frustrating because, if you remove Nyssa and Tegan's more vapid conversations from the equation, they have a pretty good story together. The basic idea of the front half of the story is that the two are left to work things out without the Doctor and Adric. It's a really effective way to put emphasis on the two newest members of the TARDIS team, who essentially just joined the TARDIS last story. Tegan working out the TARDIS controls (even though she doesn't really, it turns out the Master-controlled Adric projection did that for her), and Nyssa providing scientific explanations and useful context – they genuinely make a good team. There's a bit where the Doctor sets up how his new companions can thrive on their own. Adric of course has a mathematical genius, and as of the events of Logopolis you might as well say he's got magic. Nyssa has "technical skill and understanding" and Tegan is the "coordinator". And it actually plays out over the course of the story. It's just a shame that some of these conversation are so mindless.
That takes us into the second half of the story, where the Doctor gets to be a bit more active and we actually visit the planet/city/castle of Castrovalva. Throughout episode 3 Castrovalva is presented to us as a kind of ideal medieval-inspired society (lot of those lately). From the beginning though, something feels off. Something constantly feels artificial about Castrovalva, like it's setting is a little too idyllic and uncomplicated. And then there the seemingly sinister presence of Shardovan, the librarian who always seems to be skulking around. And then there's The Portreeve, a wise old man who always seems to know a little bit more than he should.
And that's all for good reason. Castrovalva is fake. The Master made it up, disguised himself as the Portreeve as a trap for the Doctor, using Adric's ability with block transfer calculations – he'd captured Adric at the beginning of the story. As always, the Master's greatest weakness is that he likes things to be grand and complicated, and so over the course of the two episodes the facade is slowly dismantled. And in a genuinely clever moment, the fake people that the Master has created aren't entirely happy about being used by him. "You made us, man of evil. But we are free," says Shardovan before he destroys the web that is holding Castrovalva together in a genuinely effective and cathartic moment.
And I do like how Shardovan, clearly set up to make us think he's the villain, and possibly even the Master, with his dark outfit, sinister stares, and heavy contrast to the more friendly attitudes of the rest of the Castrovalvans, turns out to be the person who's worked out that something is wrong with Castrovalva. It might not seem all that innovative, but at this point in Doctor Who's history it's genuinely hard to think of someone who was presented with so many of the superficial signifiers of being a villain but turned out not to be. It even makes sense internally. Castrovalva has intentionally been created to lull the Doctor into a false sense of security. So the one character who's not doing that turning out to be good is just a natural progression.
These episodes are also where we get a better sense of the Doctor. I'll admit that on past viewings, I never really cared much for Peter Davison's take on the Doctor, but on my current run through his era (as I've mentioned before, I'm always watching ahead while I'm watching for review) I've found him more compelling than I have in the past. Here he approaches Castrovalva with a kind of mad panic. Something is wrong here, but he can't quite place it. He's trying to solve the puzzle of what's wrong and it doesn't help that he's still recovering from his regeneration, something that doesn't really resolve itself until the end of the story. It's a solid contrast from Tom Baker's austere and eccentric Doctor, to Davison who brings a more manic energy. Today we're used to the Doctor being wild and high energy, but this is really the first time we get that kind of NuWhoish energy.
I'm still not gelling with Ainley's Master though. I enjoy him as the Portreeve here, playing the kind of wise old man who normally would be one of the Doctor's allies. Except the Portreeve always seems to know a little too much. Watching it back, there's definitely plenty to hint at the Portreeve's true nature. As the Master though…I don't know, it still just doesn't work for me. I like the Master's plan in this story, it's overcomplicated, but that's kind of the Master's MO. But Ainley just always seems to go a bit overboard in his portrayal.
I haven't really talked much about Adric this story, but that's because he doesn't really do much in this one. One of the challenges the show is going to have with three companions is finding something for each of them to do. In this story Adric is mostly sidelined. We get the, by now, well worn trope of Adric pretending to side with the villain of the story but it barely even lasts long enough to note. Mostly, Adric is used as a tool by the Master, very little more.
Castrovalva is, on the whole, a solid enough start to the 5th Doctor era, but I do have some pretty major reservations. The first half in particular is just full of these completely empty-minded conversations between Nyssa and Tegan that should have been good, but are just so poorly written. Things get better in the back half, but there's still some iffy bits. Still, I do like Castrovalva in spite of its flaws.
Score: 6/10

Stray Observations

• This was Eric Seward's first story as Script Editor. Previous Script Editor Christopher H. Bidmead wrote this story, effectively resolving the plot of prior story, also written by Bidmead, Logopolis.
• Starting with this story, Doctor Who began airing twice weekly, on Mondays and Tuesdays, as opposed to the once a week schedule it had been on since its debut.
• Peter Davison is credited as "The Doctor" for this story, rather than "Doctor Who" as was the case previously. The general belief seems to be that Peter Davison requested the change, and this certainly tracks with him being a big Doctor Who fan, but I wasn't able to find anything confirming this.
• The Portreeve is credited separately from the Master, even though Anthony Ainley plays both. He is credited as "Neil Toynay", an anagram of "Ton Ainley".
• Director Fiona Cumming had actually been involved with Doctor Who for a long time, her first job on the show being as an Assistant Floor Manager on The Massacre (1966). She was a production assistant on several shows, including Doctor Who during the 70s, and started directing in 1974 with an episode of Z-Cars. However the BBC didn't let her direct full-time and she became a freelance director in 1979.
• This story was actually filmed fourth in the season. While Davison has claimed this was done to give him more time to get familiar with the role, in reality it was simply a case of the first story idea to open the season, Project Zeta-Sigma proving unusable. This did have the unintended consequence that the series regulars were a bit to friendly with each other before Director Fiona Cuming had to remind them that, in story, they had all just met very recently.
• The plot was inspired by two MC Escher posters in the office of BBC Head of Drama Graeme MacDonald, which stuck with Bidmead. Producer John Nathan-Turner apparently hated the things, saying "art should be there to soothe, not distract" which is…certainly a take. The posters were of MC Escher painting "Ascending and Descending". Bidmead connected this to the mathematical and computer science concept of recursion (as noted when I covered Logopolis, Bidmead had an interest in computers).
• Apparently Peter Davison liked Castrovalva, but never quite understood what it was about.
• Episode 1 starts with a precredits sequence recapitulating the cliffhanger from Logopolis. It's the first time an episode has placed a scene before the credits. Notably the music is changed ever so slightly to be more optimistic, as Logopolis was the end of an era, but Castrovalva is the beginning of another one.
• The title sequence has been updated. It's the same one as the one used for Season 18, but the awkward picture of Tom Baker's face has been replaced with a perfectly reasonable picture of Peter Davison's. I'm still not fond of the starfield openings, but this is at least an improvement, however minor.
• In the first scene of the story proper, The Doctor and companions are running away from the Pharos Project guards. Tegan and Adric are supporting the Doctor's weight, and when Adric lets go, the Doctor collapses directly onto Tegan and it's actually fairly funny.
• So a second after claiming the only thing she knows about the TARDIS controls is the door mechanism, Nyssa activates the scanner via the TARDIS controls.
• In episode 1 we see the Doctor unravelling the 4th Doctor's iconic scarf to track his way through the TARDIS. I have seen people get so mad about this, but I actually think it's brilliant. It's a new era after all, and what a better visual metaphor for that is there than the Doctor unravelling his prior incarnations' most iconic item of clothing.
• When Nyssa mentions that the Zero Room that the Doctor asked to go to is probably a "neutral environment, cut off from the rest of the universe", Tegan suggests Brisbane.
• And of course the Doctor gets a new outfit. It's…fine. While the Season 18 version of the 4th Doctor outfit was too much of one color it was still built on the bones of a good look for the Doctor. But now we're very much in the JNT "uniform" style clothing. I'll admit, being an American, I wouldn't necessarily recognize a crickiter's outfit, much less an Edwardian one, if not for Doctor Who, but knowing that that's what it was based on really makes the whole outfit feel a bit gimmicky. As for the celery lapel…I don't get it. It's such a random and weird element, and I'm not sure what it's doing there (out of universe at least). I do like that the Doctor still has a hat. I like it when the Doctor has a hat. Not enough Doctors wore hats (Both Two and Eleven liked to pick up hats from time to time but they never held onto the things. The Doctors who held onto their hats were the Fourth Doctor's fedora, the 5th Doctor's Panama hat, and the 7th Doctor's straw hat.).
• The cricket outfit wasn't the first idea proposed for the Doctor's outfit. Initially he would have worn a polo outfit. Davison liked the sporting motif, but preferred cricket gear instead.
• Peter Davison was not a fan of the question mark lapels.
• The Doctor calling a wheelchair in episode 2 "transport of delight" is both a great line delivery by Davison, and a really early look into how the 5th Doctor sees things.
• Nyssa's outfit changes slightly throughout episode two. Her skirt is replaced with trousers, and she loses the velvet jacket and her ornamental comb on Castrovalva. The original costume was considered impractical, so the simplified version was designed.
• In episode 3 the Doctor eats a stick of celery. Notably for the man that would spend the rest of his time on the show wearing celery, Peter Davison actually hated the stuff, and immediately spit the celery out the moment they stopped filming.

Next Time: It's been three whole serials since we've had a story without the Master. So let's get some killer androids in here instead. Much better.

This is going to be long so buckle up.
My (33F) sisters lets call a L (23) son let's call K (2) fell from an apartment building and died. I was called and made it to my sisters side in 36 hours after the accident. I traveled 2500 miles. My bestie let's call S met me there (she has lost 2 children) so she could help me and L. We stayed with L at my other sister let's call A (26). There were 2 gofundmes set up. One by our mother and a second by a different sibling will call her J. My mother tried to hide hers. My sister (J) had the money funneled to her account. I should put in here noone likes Ls boyfriend.
Me and my bestie (S) paid for most of the service for this little boy. J paid for the funeral home stuff (mainly because she refused to give anyone access to the gofundme money). My bestie is out $1600 and I am still out $200. My bestie took L out to buy flowers to make bouquets, got fake flowers for the casket, picture frames, table clothes, clothes for my nephew and L for the service, balloons, and other decorations.
My mother and J have pocketed $9000 between them while only paying $1800 for the service. I have gotten messages about what J has had to pay recently. My mother was told to put her dog down but is paying to keep her alive (bone cancer). I start nursing school may 23 I am hoping to have funds to start the semester. I didn't work for almost 3 weeks due to helping L. I would do it all again for my sister. L hasn't even been offered any of the gofundmes money. She's homeless right now and I feel bad for wanting my $200. I wish I could feed her and give her a safe space. My mom and J don't like the boyfriend and don't want him to benefit from this at all. I offered L to come home with me but she declined. L is asking people for $20 for gas food every couple of days. I have 3 kids I don't have spare money. How does someone else benefit from my sisters dead baby? How do they use his story for them to get money?

What an emotional finale for sure. Overall it had its good and bad moments though.
I loved most of that funeral scene. Even just seeing George's picture by the casket was real sad. As sad as it had to be for the cast to film it, I sure hope if Lance Barber was in the casket (I'm guessing it really was him in the casket and not just some dummy they made?) he got people laughing in-between takes.
Saddest part for sure was Missy saying goodbye and then flashing back to the dinner date. Definitely the most emotional scene in it all.
For good and bad reasons I liked how different everyone's grieving process was. Mary diving into religion, Missy obviously missing her dad and hating seeing everyone trying to get over it/move on in their own way instead of mourning like she did, Georgie stepping up as the man of the family, Sheldon completely shutting down, Mee Maw struggling with seeing everyone grieving.
Some stuff I felt was typical tv sitcom like, like Wayne being more sad than anyone seemingly (and Mary being the one to have to comfort him) and Mee Maw cracking jokes to try lightening the mood at the funeral.
Despite the memoirs episode showing that Sheldon hadn't truly learned/appreciated the things his parents did, I liked the funeral one at least with him admitting that for all the times he focused on his dad's flaws (which could also explain BBT too), it wasn't until he got older (in his 40s) that he really understood everything about his dad, he was just a regular guy doing the best he could for his family.
In terms of stuff I hated about the finale, I hated how they skipped time so much in it. Last episode ends with them finding out about George's death, then we're just past it and about to be at the funeral here? I know they were showing Sheldon was the one shutting down, just sucks that it had to happen (and explains his lack of empathy in BBT). And Missy just turning more into the moody teenager and didn't even get much of a proper ending or continuation at all.
One thing I did really like though was seeing Georgie really stepping up and taking George's place. Too bad the new spinoff isn't more about that because it seemed like he really could do well in that role for the show.
Sidenote, was Georgie picking up George's suit supposed to just be him getting a suit for George for the funeral, or was he picking up George's suit that he was actually going to wear for the family photo but instead they turned it into his funeral clothes (which would've been sad).

My grandparents passed away recently. I followed the guidelines my grandma set up for her final event. Her Church, her burial plot, her casket and the same for my grandpa. I just didn't expect for it to be a joint funeral. I sent out the notifications to friends of theirs and family after the date was set in stone. Their friends all came, so did most of my grandma's church but no family showed up. I wasn't surprised, I hadn't seen most of them in about 4 years.
I had a great time with my grandparents friends and then I went back home and cried my heart out. I had been their sole caregiver and I didn't know what to do without them. I had taken care of them for 15 years. It started with little things like lifting heavy things and escalated to needing to change the bed twice a night sometimes. I was empty and started to scroll through my grandpa's facebook to see pictures he posted before his memory went..
I found a group, started about 3 years ago that was being flooded with activity. When I went poking around I found out it was my mother who was hosting a funeral at her church and was 'trying to get final expenses taken care of.' I was stunned. Here was the woman I hadn't spoken to since throwing her out of the house for stealing jewelry and upsetting grandma terribly by using her Alzheimer's against her. 'How could you forget my birthday! You promised to give me this!'
I went to the funeral my mother had planned and listened to the pastor and then my mother got up to talk. She told everyone how hard it was taking care of them and something inside me roared to life. I don't remember everything I said, but it did include that she didn't pay for anything for them, not their caskets, not their burial plots, not their cremation, nothing. I told everyone I put them to rest at the funeral grandma planned herself 4 days prior. I said she'd never paid for any of their care or even seen them for 4 years.
I was asked to leave and drove home. Later, a cousin asked me if what I said was true and when I said it was and I could provide proof, they explained my mother had been taking funds from the family for years to pay for their care at a facility because they had outlived their insurance policy. They also explained I got a lot of people in trouble because somewhere in the speech I shouted I had done it all alone for years without any help. A lot of family members used my grandparents as an excuse to get out of work and had invited their coworkers to the funeral. By hearing my outburst they were now in trouble for lying as for the reasons to leave work or miss days.
She then went on to ask me about the inheritance and when that would be passed out. I told her that if anyone had earned the inheritance it had already been taken care of. I thought I was in the right, but now I'm doubting myself after so many cousins and family members are calling to tell me I handled it really poorly.
AITA? Did I handle this badly? Everyone's telling me I did.
Update: Thank you all. I felt I was the asshole because of how badly I reacted at the memorial service my mother held. It was very far out of character for me. I am usually very quiet and I don't talk too often, much like my grandpa. I screamed at them, I cried, I waved my arms and made an absolute spectacle of my grief. I feel so embarrassed by how I argued and carried on. Several family members are asking questions and seem genuinely bewildered by the circumstances.
This happened on Sunday and it's Friday now, I am still feeling as lost as I did at first. One of my uncle's did lose his job, that was confirmed earlier. He had multiple schemes going on at his workplace with a need for a medical lift bed for grandma and got his coworkers to donate around 8k in total. The gossip queens that attended the funeral told everyone Monday morning and by Monday afternoon he was in trouble with HR. This wasn't the only way he tried to earn funds, there are at least two others I know about from his son.
His son, my cousin, is furious with his dad and my mom. He and several other cousins of mine are suing my mother for taking funds from them. They thought they were helping pay for 24 hour care at an assisted living facilities. Every month my mother was collecting between 2,000 and 9,000 from family members. She would lament to them how hard and soul crushing it was to see such strong people just staring vacantly off into space, how they were unresponsive but this wasn't true.
My cousins apologized for not reaching out to me, but I'm not very close with anyone in my family. Some of you guessed it in the DM's but yeah, I was an affair baby. I came out 'wrong' and my mother's husband divorced her over it. The people I was closest to growing up were my grandparents. It's bad enough that some of the cousins forgot I was a family member at all. It's a huge mess, they're apologizing but I just don't want anything to do with them.
Grandpa's business is not worth millions, but it pays the bills. It's a handyman company. My family is asking about the company, how everything is going there and I'm putting up a stony face. It's not the family business, it's mine and it has been for years. All of the employees respect me because I treat them the same way grandpa did. I do still mess up some things that they tease me for. It's a very friendly place to work.
One of grandpa's properties is just a fenced in yard with covered storage for the different projects. It's right next to the business property and is just where we work on remodeling old RV's or turning vans into RV's. We have a few friends parked there too but it's just a dirt lot with gravel, a fence and a cover. There are some security cameras there and so far no issues.
I thought I would give an overall update and just thank you all for the support. I've felt so lost and I really did think I was TA for exposing them. Jobs are important and hard to come by out here and it's not just going to affect them. It's going to affect their partners, their children and even their pets. I feel most guilty about who else exposing them affected. Thank you, I really didn't expect this to blow up like it did. I'm going to keep reading and responding to comments. Thank you all again, this has been so incredible. I was never 'supposed' to be angry about anything, but seeing all the comments cussing out my family has been more cathartic than I can express. Thank you.

Hey all, I'm just wondering if anyone picked up the resin rerelease of the Casket of Souls, mainly if you have if you could share any pictures of it. I'm interested in snapping one up now they are back in stock and would love to see scale/ know how the build process is/ see it either painted or unpainted. If anyone can share a picture or two it would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.reddit.com/GriefSupport/comments/1bykm11/anaia/
https://www.reddit.com/GriefSupport/comments/1bxzqi4/siste
About a month ago, I posted two separate posts on this subreddit about my younger sister, Anaia, who passed away on March 17th, 2024. In one post I gave photos, and in the other I wrote about her addiction, but I don't think I've really talked about myself.
It has been nearly two months since my little sister passed away, and I wouldn't describe it as grueling or depressing, just unusual. On April 22nd, it was confirmed to my family that Anaia died as a result of fentanyl toxicity, which was the reason I always assumed but to have it confirmed was very depressing. Yesterday, I went to my grandmother's house and there were a few copies of Anaia's death certificate, in the onset interval to death section, I said minutes. When talking to my mother (me and my parents talk all the time, my dad sits in my room and plays games while we talk about Anaia or something random, and me and my mother will talk about random things as well as Anaia too.), she told me her perspective of that morning. Long story short, around 11:45AM, I woke up to my mother screaming my sister's name and she soon realized she was unresponsive, me and my father woke up soon after and I called 911, and that's the short version. I assumed my sister was in her covers sleeping and fentanyl overrid her system, but no, my mom told me that when she walked into Anaia's room, she was laid flat out on top of all of her covers, arms outstretched to the side. Learning that was a major shock to me, and I'll explain why.
Sure, Anaia's death was nearly instant. But hearing the details of what my mom said really drove him that once it happened, it didn't matter whether we went into there at the right time or later, there was likely nothing that could've been done. From my understanding, it was almost as if she was up one second and collapsed the next. There was dried vomit on clothes next to her bed, making me assume that after vomiting, she just collapsed instantly after and died. After calling 911, my mother demanded out of fear for me to help her perform CPR, and I didn't hesitate to do so. But, anyone in that situation could tell, with no details given, that there was nothing that could've been done. The typical signs of a deceased body were very present, and even I (doing the mouth resuscitation) knew that if I felt no air coming back onto me, and touching her neck didn't give a pulse, I quickly understood that this was it, like there was nothing me or my parents could've done. When the paramedics arrived at 12 exactly, it took them a minute or two for them to tell us that there was nothing to be done, and ultimately, Anaia had died long, long before we got to her. They said roughly 6-8 hours, meaning at the earliest 3am, and at the latest 5am. It's a disheartening fact for him, and even my father expressed to me too a few nights ago, but we wished that at least there was a chance for us to get to her beforehand. Maybe if he and I or my mom went into her room for no real reason in the middle of the night, we would've been able to save her. What really struck me when my dad was telling me that was him acknowledging that while he and my mom were watching TV, he couldn't bare to imagine that simultaneously Anaia was dying. I felt the same way, I was awake around 3-3:30AM, and if she died during that time, I was totally unaware scrolling through my phone.
I wish that there was something to be done. During her time alive, and when she started doing street dealt percocets, I warned her about fentanyl, and ultimately I wish she had heeded my warning and stayed off them when she did quit in December. I'm a sociable person, and I'm one of those people that have a wide different variety of groups and friends I hang out with, and I may not be in extracurricular activities but even those that are popular in my school know me. As a result of being so sociable, I know people that do drugs, and only a set few who do percocets, one of my closest friends used to be a heavy percocet user and I used to tell her as much as I did my sister to quit. My friend and my sister quit, but one returned and one didn't. One is still here, and one is not. It doesn't matter how many people I told not to do percocets, of course I would've wanted my sister to be the one to really listen to me. But ultimately, the person I wanted to save the most didn't make it. I've saved others, but with my sister, it almost made my words feel like nothing after she died. No matter however many times I told her to please find something less dangerous and more beneficial, to not risk her life, she kept using and lost her life. Said friend and two other friends of my sister (I know both of them) were also at some point active percocet users, and they told me that they felt it like it should've been them, seeing my mother made them see that that could've been their parents, their siblings, their friends and relatives, etc. I told them bluntly that it in fact could've been them in Anaia's position, I told them that just because Anaia's clock stopping running doesn't mean there's has to, they can avoid being in her position. Then it got me thinking, there's plenty of other people who overdose on purpose, who overdose 9 times, who overdose and suffer long term effects like paralyzation, but still remain. Anaia overdosed once, and that was the final time. I believe in God and Jesus but I'm not a preacher, I believe and keep it pushing but I'm not religiously based. I believe in the concept of everyone having a time and a date, but sometimes I find myself questioning that if that's the case, are we just here to live a predetermined fate that we have no control over? At the end of the day, was I meant to go through this? Thinking like that plagues my mind, but I settle for it being her time to go, as seeing other drug users made me wonder what they may be here to prove on earth that Anaia could not. I don't like questioning others' lives and why they get to live longer, that's not me, and I'm glad they've been granted more chances, it just sucks my sister wasn't granted that chance in the grand scheme of things. Predetermined or not, there was so much she could've lived for, but I believe there's a reason time can't be reversed, and there's many unexplained miracles that somehow eases me into thinking that I shouldn't throw myself into a hole of questioning why she didn't get a chance, and just accepting that her race ended earlier than mine. I believe things happen for a reason, it's an insensitive statement depending on the situation, but things happen for people to learn and grow from them, but no one really knows why. I've just had to come to the conclusion hat my sister is okay, she's safe, and I have no reason to continue to question her life and worry about her if she's not here with me anymore, you feel?
From a brother perspective, it sucks. It feels somewhat lonely, to live and breathe as an only child. I've become accustomed to being an older brother to a younger sister, but I turned 16 without her, and that's how it'll be for the rest of my life. At her visitation on March 30th, I didn't cry, but seeing her body just made me shake my head. She looked very nice, the funeral home did an amazing job, but it hit me that this was really her. There were distinct things I saw that she had in life that made me come to that conclusion that that was what was left my little sister, and at the funeral + burial the next day, watching her being lowered into the ground left my head empty. No thoughts, she watching as her casket covered in a white sheet was lowered into the ground, and that'd be it. I grew up with this person, and now I have to look down on this person and go through life without this amazing person. I never imagine something like this happening, especially not like this. I always wanted to die first because I was older, a thought I feared ever since I was a child. That didn't get to happen, and milestones man. She'll never get to graduate the year after me, never get to have that lovely relationship with that special one that she always wanted, she never got to be an aunt, a mom, nothing. One day, I hope to have children and I will tell them about Anaia, but do I wish they'd have been able to meet her if that time came. Everyday, I walk past her room, sometimes I go in there and sometimes I don't. Two weeks after her death, her mattress was taken out by me and my dad's friend, up until a few weeks ago, her room was left scattered the way it was when she died minus the mattress, and now, everything has been cleaned up. It's empty, and the emptiness is another reality check. I'll never see Anaia again, and in the potential next life I believe I will, but the fact I can't now is a hard concept to grasp. No more walking to the bus stop, no more barging into her room or vice versa, no more waiting forever for her to complete her makeup, no more random room hangouts, no more of her asking me to flash a light for her Instagram pictures for an excruciating ten minutes, none of them. Her physical presence is gone, I come home everyday and instantly the thought of her being gone hits me. Riding in the car with my parents, being at school, going out, it doesn't feel the same knowing in the back of my head she's gone, no matter how much fun I have. Regardless, I've returned to normal life, matter of fact, I started going to school every day instantly after the funeral, and during the two weeks of March 17th-March 31st, I showed up to school here and there. It didn't take a toll to do so, because I've accepted that though Anaia died, I'm still alive? I don't stop when she does, that'll have more of an effect. Life still goes on, time doesn't stop for no one no matter how much I may want it to. I honestly sit my current happiness at like a 6.5-7, higher than one may expect. I still have my parents, my friends, and all of my relatives, an important chunk is just missing but I still have my people. I only feel alone in the sibling aspect, but in reality, people make me happy everyday and still continue to. I joke how I've always joked, people have said I look much better than how I did initially, there's notable sadness on my face, but I look happier. If that's true, then I hope it stays that way. I still go out to these afterschool events, outside friend hangous, they bring joy. I just miss my sister 25/8, but I've learned to appreciate life just a little bit more now. If she's okay, I'm okay.
Lastly, I wanted to mention dreams. People say they have dreams of deceased loved ones all the time, I personally haven't yet, would like to, but until then that hasn't been the case. I'm not talking dreams with the person in them, I mean direct communication dreams. My mother has had two, my dad's friend has had one, and my close friend mentioned earlier has had one, but the one that sticks out the most is my little cousin's dream. My mom has a younger sister herself and in 2018, she had her first child, his nickname is JP. During 2021-2022, me and Anaia lived with my grandmother due to losing our apartment (our parents stayed separately at a grouphome my dad worked at, they work for my grandmother's company), and my aunt as well as JP stayed with my grandma. JP essentially became me and Anaia's little brother that we didn't have, and vice versa for him, he sees me and Anaia has his older siblings. Seeing him seem so heartbroken after Anaia died was very sad, as you can see written on this five-year-old's face that Anaia was someone who truly mattered to him and he was so sad about it. However, in his dream, Anaia came to him and told him she loved all of us, that she regretted not seeing him grow older, and that what happened to her was an accident. The part that got me was that Anaia told him that where she was was beautiful, he asked to see it, and she told him he couldn't see it yet. Kids just don't make things like that up in my opinion, and he worded it very detailed for a kindergartener, and JP is at the age where his words don't conflict with other things he's said, he's consistent with it and he tells me the same thing he told me the first time when I ask him here and then. He can see it one day, but he can't see it, not yet. What that tells me is that if life is so hard, death must be so beautiful afterwards, and that there is an afterlife. Even if I believed in a separate religion, or if my current religion isn't the truth, I will always believe in an afterlife. I refuse to believe that this world is it, and kids just don't pull stuff out their butt in a serious situation. I believe him. If that's the case, then I'll gladly wait. It doesn't matter how many people die during my lifetime, whatever remains of it, and how many new people I might meet in my life. If my hope of living to elder age and I meet someone and create a family, and even if said wife and or children die before me if that plan does happen, there's only one person I wish to greet me. I hear that people see a loved one before they die, and I hope Anaia is the one that comes to see me when it's all over. Forever, no matter who else passes before me, Anaia's will stay the worst, the most impactful, and that's a strong statement to make but I'm sure of that. I have plenty of goals I have for myself, but my end goal once the others are done is to get past 70, pass peacefully, and have my sister wait for me there. I hope that wouldn't be much to ask for.
That's it.

There was a boy. I’d known him since I was 5 but it wasn’t until I was older that I truly noticed him. We were in 6th grade when we started taking an advanced math class together. I could tell he was smart, funny, and a person I’d want to be around for a long time. Middle school and all the drama that ensues during that time quickly invaded my life. My social group shifted and I found myself closer to my friend, Dakota. By the time we were in 7th grade he was tall and strong. Blond hair and a light greenish set of smart eyes. We started working together outside of school. My dad worked for his dad and I often found myself at their house. Dakota had one older brother, a younger brother, and a younger sister. I’m the oldest of four so I could handle the chaos of lots of kids in a home. I had some of my most fun memories in middle school at that home. Not just me and Dakota, but with other friends we worked with, our siblings, and family friends. Nerf gun fights, swimming in the pool, and playing manhunt on the homestead that they lived on. I developed what you could consider a crush on Dakota. And the feeling was mutual. He hinted with the not-so-subtle flirting of a 14 year old boy. Pulling my hair, taking my things, and throwing snacks were often his go-to moves.
One night at a Christmas party, us “kids” were watching a movie while the adults played games and hung out in the other room. At some point, his head ended up on my lap. I remember touching his hair, but ultimately deciding I did NOT want someone to see this and assume the worse. Another time, we were alone in the basement. The basement was the place of all our friend hangouts. The video and board games were down there, along with the nerf guns. One night we were on the couch showing each other memes from our iPod touches. We were laughing and joking, then he handed me his iPod to read the next one. Except this wasn’t a meme: it was his notes app. On the screen it said “I think you are beautiful”. I instantly blushed and tried to hide my face. “Me?.....” I looked at him, also blushing red and he nodded. I told him thank you. It was the first time any boy had told me I was beautiful. In my own eyes, I was not. I had a big tooth gap because my parents couldn’t afford braces, and I wore glasses. I don’t know what he saw, but I appreciated the flattering compliment.
We entered high school where once again, your life shifts. You are faced with new teachers, new course materials, new teammates, and new challenges. We remained close friends through this time, by taking enough classes together and being involved with the same friends. It was nearing the fall homecoming season and I was nervous about getting a date. I saw many older boys asking girls to be their dates and I wondered if I would even have one my freshman year. Leave it up to my best friend Anna to set me up.
I clearly remember it was a Sunday night and I was watching football. My mom tells me she got a text from Dakota’s mom that there was a book she needed to grab from their house. She told me I needed to go with her. Without any context, I was annoyed she was making ME drive her there since I did not want to leave home. They lived about 5 minutes away so I figured the faster we leave the quicker I can get back home. Mom told me I should brush my hair.
“Why?”
“Well because you should look a little presentable.”
“It’s fine right, we’re just grabbing a book really quick, right?”
“Yes but you don’t want to leave the house looking like you do.”
I huffed and opened our sliding glass door going outside to the car.
“You should at least put some shoes on!”
“I’m FINE, Can we just go and get this over with”
I angrily and annoyed drove/ sped down the paved road to their house, all the while questioning my mother why she really needed me to go with her.
“I don’t know, there might be something there for you.”
I had no idea what that meant. We drove to the shop on their property that this supposed book was. I stepped out of the car, barefoot on the gravel and walked into the shop. There I see Dakota, holding a sign. I frantically looked around to figure out what was going on. I see Anna crouched in a corner covering her smiling mouth. I looked at his sign and read the homecoming proposal which used lyrics and titles from Beatles songs, my favorite band.
“Oh, Dakota! Of course yes!”
I gave him an awkward hug and turned around to realize that my mother didn’t need a book at all.
Dakota was sweet. In an innocent way. He had casually asked before if we could date, but being the reserved and shy individual I was, I had always declined. After the dance, we drifted, not for any particular reason. I heard he had started dating a different girl. She was older by two years. Was I hurt? Not particularly. Was I jealous? Maybe a little more so. They went to prom together and she was definitely way prettier than me. It happens, I thought, we aren’t meant to be. A romantic relationship would definitely change our entire chemistry.
Summer came and we were out working together on his family’s farm. We spent hours in the fields, talking, singing, and sweating. Just good friends again. It was normal and felt right. We spent a week together in late July on a church trip. We worked on a homeless shelter with our youth group and had a fun yet powerful time together. My mom, dad, and brother were on this trip as well, along with many of our church friends. After the week was done on Saturday, we drove back to our town. I remember waving goodbye to his family in their Suburban as they left the church parking lot. I didn’t realize how significant that goodbye would be.
A few days went by and we had casual texting conversations about work and school starting in the next few weeks. He texted me Tuesday night that his dad really needed some help the next morning bright and early. I wanted to sleep in. He texted “Don’t worry about it, we’ll get it covered.” A decision I’d soon regret.
Wednesday morning, I go to the church with my mom to do a couple of things with her. I can’t even recall what it was. We were getting into our car when we heard loud sirens throughout our small town. Mom and I looked at each other. Sirens are never a good sign. We get in the car, curious, but praying whoever needs the ambulance is okay. My mom gets a phone call. It’s one of our family friends. She says Dakota and his older brother have been in a bad car accident. That heavy feeling that makes your heart sink to your stomach instantly hit me. “They’re okay, they’re okay, they’re okay.” I kept telling myself. The ambulance was going fast, and Dakota is strong. He’s practically invincible. My mother’s friend tells us that we should stop by Dakota’s house to grab the boys clean clothes and bring them to the emergency room. We drive in silence, except for maybe a short prayer that the boys are okay. We get to the house and my mom quickly runs up the stairs to the boys’ bedroom. I stay downstairs. I observe the dining room. Dirty laundry in the baskets. Dirty dishes on the counter. Dakota’s name on a marker board along with a list of chores to do. We speed to the emergency room in the nearby town. On the way we received a text from Dakota’s older brother, John. He said he was doing okay but he wasn’t sure about Dakota. We should be keeping their family in our prayers. The panic was rising in my throat. I had been nervous about things before. This was different. It was like a nauseating churn that started in my stomach. Like my soul was shaking out of my physical body. We got to the hospital, parked and my mom said I should stay in the car. Probably wanting to protect me from any scarring sights within the ER. I wanted to go in. Could I see him? She insisted that I stay in the car. I stayed. Frozen at first. Then rocking back and forth. My palms were shaking and itchy in the center.
“This can’t be happening. Not Dakota. He’s like my best friend. Kids don’t die. He’s too young. Too smart. He has an incredibly successful life ahead of him.”
I was eyeing the automatic door for any sign of someone that I recognized. The ten minutes I waited felt like an hour. Ten minutes of restless uncertainty. Then I see my mom. She had one of the hardest faces that I had ever seen her make. She opened the driver’s side door and I immediately asked “What’s going on. Is he ok?!”
She looks at me dead in the eyes, shaking her head, “He didn’t make it, Jasmine”
A million emotions and questions flood my brain. I started blubbering and sobbing while hitting the dashboard. “No, no, no. Why!? Why him?” My mom breaks down with me, not able to get out a single word. The family friend who delivered the phone call joins us in the car. She says Dakota’s in a better place now. I’m in a state of shock and disbelief. Hot tears will not stop streaming down my cheeks. We were silent on the way back home. I ran upstairs to my room and shut the door. I cried into a pillow for the rest of the afternoon. I skipped dinner. There was a candlelight vigil that evening at a church. I barely had the strength to go, but my mom said it would be good for me. I brought my water bottle. I ate nothing and only drank water to replenish my tears the next two days. Saturday morning, I went to a different church with my family to see Dakota’s family. The church’s youth were making survivor bracelets out of parachute cord. Dakota had made them during his depressive episodes during his 9th grade year, when we somewhat drifted. Dakota and I took Spanish class together our freshman year. One day he asked me what my favorite color was. I told him blue. The next day he gave me a blue bracelet he had made. He said he accidentally made one too small. I was instantly brought back to that moment while standing in the church with dozens of people learning how to braid the cord. When I got home, I tore apart my vanity in search for the bracelet he had made for me. I put it on my right hand. I wore the bracelet everyday for an entire year. I had a Dakota original.
Dakota’s brother, John, who was entering his senior year, invited many of us friends to go out to the place where the accident happened. It was a blind intersection that I had previously been weary of earlier that summer. The corn was high and there were no road signs for a yield or stop. John explained how they had just got in the truck after working the field about a half mile south and were going to take their lunch break. He said they had just started going down the road, picking up speed, when he heard a small voice tell him to put his seatbelt on. John put his seatbelt on, but Dakota didn’t. John said he felt as if there was something around the corner, but ultimately did not slow down near the intersection. A driver, going 50 miles per hour, t-boned them in the intersection. According to John, the truck rolled and Dakota was thrown through the windshield. John found his phone and quickly called 911. He found Dakota and blood was coming from his mouth. He had a large wound on his forehead where he had smashed the dashboard. John pulled him into the field of soybeans, opposite the corn, and tried performing CPR. Dakota was mumbling and sputtering blood before his breathing stopped. The paramedics pronounced him dead at the scene. They said he was internally decapitated.
The wake for Dakota was on Sunday night. I had a tough time finding the strength to go. We waited in line behind dozens of people for close to an hour. When I finally got up to him, my heart sank again. There he was. His skin was pale. His hair was not right. His mother, who was right by, said it was okay to touch him. I reached for his hair to move it how he usually wore it. As I parted it, I saw the large scar covered by gobs of makeup that the hair was covering on his forehead. I put it back.
His funeral was the next day. Monday. At 1:18PM, his birthday date. I felt sick the whole morning. My whole family got in the car and my mom was talking to my younger siblings. I was silent. I was going to one of my best friends’ funerals. The church where the funeral was held was absolutely packed. Parked cars took up the surrounding blocks. The church had multiple floors and rooms with casted video of the celebration of life. I was considered close enough to sit in the sanctuary in the front half of the pews. I sat with my gifted teacher and other friends from the gifted program. What a terrible way to end your summer. Saying hello to people you haven’t seen in a few months at a funeral. I remember the funeral. There were songs and the service was led in large by Dakota’s own mother. To this day I have no idea how she had the strength to do that. I remember a few of the songs that were sung, but I’ll never forget the sound of the casket closing. The last goodbye. The final SLAM. His face would never again have sunlight shown upon it. Never again would a person touch him, hold him, hug him.
My family tried to get out to the burial but the crowd was just too insanely large to get around. I had the final say that we could go home. I’d come back another time.
The next day, I went to the scene of the accident. It was an intersection 5 miles east of my house. Someone had put up a make-shift cross at the intersection. I brought a big University of Kansas patch from one of our gifted trips to place at the cross. He loved basketball, and especially the Jayhawks. On the back of the patch I had written “I love you”. That night, there was a big storm. I sat up straight in bed and started crying as the wind whistled by my windows. The patch.
When I woke up, I found a reason to leave home and went back out to the intersection. I ran up to the cross and found my patch wrapped tightly around the base with some old barbed wire. I burst into tears of relief. I have no idea who saved my patch.
The next two weeks were spent preparing for school and fall practice. I had decided to do tennis that fall instead of volleyball. On the first day of school, I rode the bus into the town with my school. We drove past the intersection and I burst into tears. I cried four more times that day. Each time in the class he should have been in with me. I was distraught. I have no other way to describe how absolutely depressed I was walking the halls. Teachers were not the same. There was an absence in our sophomore class. An absence on our football team. In our audition choir. In our youth group. And in me. I tried my best to get through it. I started journaling a little bit after the accident to help organize my thoughts. To remember all the little details I could about him. To write them down so they didn’t disappear.
My sophomore year was brutal. I was playing tennis in the fall with a small team of girls who helped to create a safe and calm environment for me. I spent all of my hours in the team vehicle listening to two Lifehouse albums on repeat. I’d look out the window and reflect. What was life? What was my purpose? Why did this happen?
I didn’t have an answer. I bottled it up. It seemed that a lot of my class who weren’t very close with Dakota had a lot easier time going back to their normal lives. I was missing a friend. There was a contact in my phone from whom I’d never received another text. I had unfinished business. We had talked all summer about how our math class and Spanish II classes would be so fun this year. The bracelet I wore everyday was getting a stark tan line.
The semester rolled on. One of my other close friends moved to Colorado. And my last best friend, Anna, was in her own self-discovery phase. She wasn’t as close to Dakota and I was more or less a depressed teen at that time. I cried at school. In the bathrooms. In the locker room or a small music practice room. Am I just that sensitive? Why is no one else dealing with this grief like I am? I tried to distract myself with various activities. It worked for the most part. In the spring, I went out for softball. I loved softball. I had been playing it for years. I even had helped “assistant coach” a little girls rec league with Dakota and his family a few summers beforehand. Softball was hard but I needed the challenge. I worked hard at the sport and found myself on the varsity team after multiple players were out for the season due to injury or illness. In the last regular season game, on May 9th on our home field, I broke my leg. I had a high impact with the catcher while trying to steal home. The ump called me safe and we won the game by a run rule as I crumpled to the ground. I remember thinking I could stand up, but the weirdest tingling started down my leg around my knee. My coach carried me off the field like a baby. I pulled my helmet off and one tear slid down my cheek. They put me on a stretcher while the athletic trainer checked my knee.
“Yep, you fractured a bone. We should get you in to the ER for an X-ray”
“Fracture? Like my bone broke?”
“Yes that’s what a fracture is”
I started sobbing. Not from the pain. From the overwhelming feeling of becoming an invalid for an uncertain amount of time. I slid in the back of my mom’s vehicle as we drove down to the county ER. We got there, I was still in uniform. Just hysterical. I had no idea what was going on as I had never had an injury like this before. The ER lady took X-rays of my right leg. The images came back and showed a tibial plateau fracture. I wouldn’t be walking for a while. They helped cut me out of my softball pants and sent me home with lots of pain killers. The next few days I spent vomiting from the strong norco drug. I had a surgery a few days later where they placed hardware in my knee and put me in a straight-leg brace. I was miserable. It was hot and scratchy and I had my finals coming up. I went back to school the next Wednesday or Thursday to collect some class work to do at home. As I lived on the downstairs couch for close to three weeks I found myself asking again “Why did this happen?” I finished the school year by doing my final projects and giving my German foreign exchange student friend a final hug. I remember thinking “This is a nicer way to say goodbye to someone forever”.
I couldn’t walk for most of the summer and I started painful physical therapy. I was frequenting 3 times a week for a long while to build back my strength and relearn to walk. As soon as I was weight-bearing, I started working outside again. Doing what I could with one crutch. Dakota’s dad hired me to help manage the field workers and I could do some wood stacking decently enough. On the 1 year anniversary of Dakota’s death, I went to the gravesite for a small ceremony. It was the first time I had been there. The intersection where he died was my frequent mourning spot, almost daily on my drive to and from school. The gravestone was large and obviously very expensive. It has a beautiful picture of him and the quote “You got this”, that he used often as a self-reassuring phrase. At some point after the 1-year, I stopped wearing the bracelet he made me. Was it time to let go? How long does one mourn?
The rest of my high school journey was tainted with the memories of him and the phantom memories of where I imagined him being. At my graduation, we had an honorary memorial and scholarship dedicated to him and his character. Then I went to college. I was already dating who would become my husband a number of years later.
Years have passed. There is no happy ending. I'm still here. Aging. Growing older while I can still see the face of my 15 year old friend. He isn’t growing. He’s in the ground. Resting. It feels like a lifetime until I can see him again. I’ve had dreams of him. Unprompted visions of him were prevalent for about 2 years after he passed. You would think this story would get easier after the number of times I’ve played in my head over all of these years. But it hasn’t. I’m in the acceptance stage of grief. I’ve lived life, gotten married, laughed again, and see a bright future for myself. Though I do often think, Where would Dakota be now? Would we have become closer friends? Would he be married? He would have made a good father.
Again, I have no answers to these questions that I suppose may eternally sit with me. I do have some answers though. I’ve learned how to not take people for granted. I’ve learned how to recognize depressive symptoms and how to be a listening ear for someone who feels hopeless. I’ve learned how to find purpose in helping people. I’ve learned patience. Sometimes patience is agonizing, which means the reward is definitely worth the wait.

This is a long read.
TL;DR: Drake is a creep with a clear pattern of predatory behavior towards many minors and I have the receipts to back it up.
INTRODUCTION
This is a comprehensive post regarding Drake's extremely questionable behavior regarding minors and young women in general. There's more than 70 links in this post to various sources and over 30.000 characters.
If you want to repost, make a YouTube video, an article, a TikTok or Twitter thread then do it - I do not need credit, I do not care - I only want this information to be spread.
This post will serve as an archive that people can refer back to or use as a source to back up their claims.
Let me be clear - I do not like Drake. I've thought the guy was a creep ever since the Millie Bobby Brown video and I despise him - but I'll still try to remain as objective as possible here, you know my bias now though.
This thread is partly based on this thread from 2022
Read this comment for edits I've made to the post.
OVERVIEW
This post is divided into sections:

• The 17 year old at a show
  
• Millie Bobby Brown
  
• Billie Eilish
  
• Kylie Jenner
  
• Hailey Baldwin (Now Bieber)
  
• Cydney Christine (Lil CC)
  
• Aaliyah
  
• Unconfirmed rumors
  
• Lyrics, references, tweets, pictures, ties
  
• (Dis)honorable mention
  
• Final Note
  

THE 17 YEAR OLD AT A SHOW
Drake is performing at a show in Ogden, Denver where he calls a girl up on stage. I really encourage you to watch this yourself, but since I know the majority of you won't watch it, I've described it for you below.
Video starts with her on stage, he asks her name, where she is from, asks the crowd to welcome her to the stage and tells her she looks great. He then asks her to give him two seconds because "I gotta be ready for you".
He wipes off his sweat with a towel and proceeds to take her hand, put it on his shoulder, his hand on her hip/back and they slow dance for a few seconds. He spins her around and stop her with her back facing him. This is when it starts to get.. really weird.
Drake says "I told you I like your hair, right, what is it, like herbal essence or something?" while he's caressing her shoulder and smelling her hair. He says something I can't hear properly, puts the mic down and exposes her upper back and neck by pulling her shirt collar down. The crowd goes wild. He then starts kissing her shoulder and neck, putting her arms around her and fondle her breast.
A few seconds later he picks up the mic again and says "you can't have me carried away again before I get in trouble - how old are you?" She responds "17". The crowd has a mixed reaction - Drake says something that is hard to make out, because of the crowd but when it's clear he says "I can't go to jail yet, man - 17? Why do you look like that? You thick - look at all this!"
It's hard to make out exactly what he says afterwards because of the poor quality (2011 zoomed video at a concert, it's bad..), but he says something about it bringing them (the 17 year old and Drake) to a close and follows it up with "I got one question for you (...) I just want to know if (something about women in Colorado), I should just take one opportunity to take one home?"
The girl nods "As a Colorado woman you'd enjoy that?" "Well, listen 17, I had fun - I don't know if I should feel guilty or not, but I had fun. I liked the way your breasts felt against my chest. I just want to thank you." He then puts the mic down again, grabs her hand and kisses it. You might think that was a little over the top, but he then immediately follows it up by putting his hand on her chin and kissing both of her cheeks, her forehead and then on her fucking lips.
I think he asks her to walk off stage, it's hard to make out, but then he says "It's okay. I'm only 23, I can do shit like that. It's all good, you know what I'm saying" and the video ends.
Addition: I know this girl has said she was not offended, violated, whatever you want to call it, but that's not the point. And I do not mean to sound like a complete dick, but it's not about her - it's about Drake and proving his pattern of behavior over many instances. If you stopped here because she denied it, you completely missed the point.
Drake's age: 23
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN
Now this video was what really made me do a double take on Drake. Now, there's one very important fact to establish here and that is that Millie Bobby Brown at the time of this interview (18. September 2018) is 14 (Born 19. February 2004). I'll quickly transcribe the interview here:
Interviewer:

What about your relationship with Drake, tell me about your friendship, how did this all come about?

Millie Bobby Brown:

I love him. I met him in Australia and he's honestly so fantastic and a great friend and a great role model. You know we text - we just texted each other the other day and he was like "I miss you so much" and I was like "I miss you more". He's coming to Atlanta, so I'm definitely gonna go and see him and I'm so excited.

Interviewer 2:

You and Drake? That's awesome. That's awesome..

Interviewer:

What advice does he give you? What does he say?

MMB:

About boys he helps me, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah he's great. He's wonderful, I love him.

Interviewer:

What's his advice with boys?

MMB:

Ehm, you know.. That stays in the text messages.

I'm sure it's obvious what is wrong here and I don't need to spell it out for any of you, but I do have one thing to add. If Drake is giving advice about boys and telling her "I miss you so much" they must have talked for a while. It's not something you say after knowing a person for a week. We are talking months at least. There's 7 months between her birthday and the interview - did Drake already start talking to her when she was 13? It would make sense that Drake was in Australia during their summer (Dec-Feb) for festivals/concerts/vacation.
Millie has only commented on this once which was a few days later in a story on Instagram
I don't want or mean to infantilize her, but she was 14. She would have no chance of knowing if Drake actually was grooming her. There's not a chance that she could understand the dynamic at play and why it's wrong at that age.
Drake also defended their friendship on the song Another Late Night when he raps:

Weirdos in my comments talkin' 'bout some Millie Bobby, look
Bring them jokes up to the gang, we get to really flockin'

Ironically enough that very same song is also connected to the next person
Drake's age: 33
BILLIE EILISH
The year after the Millie Bobby Brown controversy Drake gets caught texting a minor again and this time it's Billie Eilish. She does a yearly interview with Vanity Fair, and in the 2019 version she's asked who's her most famous contact in her phone. That's when she reveals she's been texting with Drake and that he's so very nice to her. Billie is at the time of the interview (released 25. November 2019) 17 (born 18. December 2001).
Billie did defend Drake and their texting in an interview with Vogue ~3 months later:

“The internet is such a stupid-ass mess right now,” says Eilish, who quit Twitter in 2018. “Everybody’s so sensitive. A grown man can’t be a fan of an artist? There are so many people that the internet should be more worried about. Like, you’re really going to say that Drake is creepy because he’s a fan of mine, and then you’re going to go vote for Trump? What the fuck is that shit?”

On the song Another Late Night where Drake mentions Millie Bobby Brown, Lil Yachty is featured (one of Drake's gho.. co-writers) and he raps the line:

I let her go, she fine as hell but baby wasn't stylish (Yeah)
She had big tits like Billie Eilish but she couldn't sing (Drip)

Now - I know this is not Drake, I just thought it was a 'funny' coincidence that these two women are connected through their shared experiences with Drake and this song. On another note some might say that Drake should have asked Yachty to omit this line if he really was a friend of Billie Eilish since she has been quite vocal about sexualization of herself and women in general.
Drake's age: 34
BELLA HARRIS
This one is pretty fucking bad in my opinion. Bella Harris is the daughter of Jimmy Jam who's a record producer, songwriter etc. and has been very successful. Through him she's been in and around the entertainment/music business her whole life and met Drake that way.
There's an archive of photos posted here that contains the old IG posts she had with Drake. The first one was on May 5th, 2016 - Bella Harris is born 20. April, 2000. She had just turned 16 at the time.
Objectively I think they are defendable since they are all music related - Rihanna concert, Summer Sixteen Tour (ironic name..) and the American Music Awards, but then two years later they reportedly start dating and that makes it really difficult to believe, especially with the last archived photo of them in 2018. Also the same photo that is referenced in this article talking about Drake renting an entire restaurant for an intimate dinner between them.
Note that E! have confirmed it and are not backing down on their claim despite Harris denying it on Instagram.
Her father liked this post on Instagram about the whole situation. It's not particular to the restaurant or previous potential dating it's more so a general declaration of support for Drake, but that includes the PDF-file allegations.
Him supporting Drake made me search for more information, because I wanted to find whether or not he had spoken about it at the time. That led me to this article where her mother, Lisa, is being asked a few questions regarding Bella.

I was surprised Jimmy Jam hasn't introduced Bella to Drake, Rihanna or anybody else in the music world she is interested in meeting.
"No," said Lisa. "She loves Rihanna, she loves Beyoncé. [Bella has met Bey; her brother Max has met Ri-Ri.] She hasn't met Drake. Too old."

Lisa Harris about a photo of Bella (included in the article) - Bella is 14, almost 15 at the time.

I think Drake would behave himself around a child, even one dressed like this, to wit: Mom doesn't think this photo is too sexy, in all its legginess?
"SHE'S WEARING A BATHING SUIT and a coat!" said Lisa. "Sexy? What? My point is it's a body business, so I don't look at it [that way]. It's a posed picture. She has a one-piece bathing suit on. It's artistic."

Drake's age: 29-31
KYLIE JENNER
Ever since the Kanye (also fuck Kanye for the record) vs. Drake beef we (or I at least) became aware of the fact that Drake has had a long relationship with the Kardashians/Jenners and known them for many, many years. In fact Drake performed at Kylie's sweet 16 back in 2013. You know what that Sweet 16 was specifically remembered for as well? Drake kissing Kylie on the cheek in front of everyone, including her then boyfriend Jaden Smith.
That's not out of the ordinary and would be 'normal', if it wasn't for the clear pattern that is going on here, because guess what - 6 years later Drake and Kylie reportedly start dating, well.. dating/fucking/whatever you wanna call it. Admittedly this article is easily dismissed as paparazzi journalism and clickbait, but what if I told you that Drake has rapped this:

Yeah, I’m a hater to society/Real shit, Kylie Jenner that’s a side piece/Yeah, I got 20 muthafuckas in’ Kylies.

You probably wouldn't have heard it, since it was on an unreleased track played on an Instagram Live back in 2020, but it does make it seem pretty likely that he did actually hook up with her, especially considering the response Drake posted

“A song that mark ran last night on night owl sound live set shouldn’t have been played,” he wrote, “It’s a song that leaked 3 years ago and got scrapped shortly after. He was just going too deep in the drake/future catalogue. Last thing I’d want to do is wake up having any friends of mine feeling disrespected so I just had to say that to start off the day.”

Kylie was 22 at the time they reportedly hooked up.
Drake's age at Kylie's Sweet 16: 26
Drake's age when they hooked up: 33
HAILEY BALDWIN (NOW BIEBER)
In 2016 there were reports that Hailey and Drake were dating. Apparently they hooked up at a party that Drake hosted, where another attendee is also mentioned that seems oddly relevant:

Drake and Hailey weren't the only ones getting close, with Kylie Jenner and rumoured new boyfriend PartyNextDoor were seen "making out" at the party.
"It was almost like she was trying to make a statement," an insider added.

Now again - there's nothing illegal in a 11 year age difference and dating a 19-year old as 30. It's weird, yes. But again we come back to the pattern. Why do Drake know Hailey? Through their similar friends and friend group (Kardashians/Jenners). How long has Drake known Hailey? Well, when Hailey was 19, she said they had known each other for a long time.
We can actually get even closer with certainty since we know that Hailey attended Kylie's Sweet 16 in August, 2013. Hailey is born 22. November 1996, so she was also 16 at the time. So it's another girl that Drake has known since she was a minor and started dating when he got the opportunity. This is not normal.
Another pattern that Drake also seem to follow is that likes to hook up with his friends girl. We know for a fact that he hooked up with Lil Wayne's girlfriend while he was in prison. He not only rap about it, but also admit it in an interview. It's not really hard to believe that he did the same with Bieber.
Drake's age at Kylie's Sweet Sixteen: 26
Drake's age when they hooked up: 29
CYDNEY CHRISTINE (LIL CC)
Cydney Christine is a beatmaker and model - she produced the Drake song Money In The Grave and in a Complex interview/roundtable she talks about it and Drake.

Really the only artist I reached out to is Drake. I'd never met him, never spoke to him, I don't know why, but he has been following me for the past like 6 years. I don't know why..

This interview was uploaded 17. December 2019, Cydney Christine's is born 21. July, 1997, meaning she was 22 at the time of the interview and 15-16 when Drake started following her. This is somewhat innocent but strange since Drake is 27 at the time. That's not what is really weird though.
In March 2023, Lil CC is on the No Jumper podcast and here she speaks about Drake and having her debut beat being a Drake single.
Lil CC: I played basketball, right, so he really was a fan or not a fan, sorry, supported one of my teammates at the time um..
Adam 22: And this is when you are in high school?
Lil CC: Yeah, in high school. So he was a fan of women's basketball - high school basketball - I was her teammate so he followed me because of her, and I was like "oh shit, bitch, you got Drake to follow me, like what the hell? Like that's so crazy". So he followed me and I lost it - I have to meet Drake, I love Drake, I've always loved Drake, still love Drake.
There's more to the conversation, but the relevant part is here is that it's just very, very strange for Drake to be a women's high school basketball fan. They are 16 at the time. He's a supporter of a 16 year old female high school basketball player as a 27 year old grown adult man. He has not hooked up with her, dated or anything of the sorts that we know of or that she has told - for the record.
Drake's age: ~27
AALIYAH
It's not like I have whole section for this, but his obsession with Aaliyah is just another part of the pattern. I don't have a lot to contribute here, but if you don't know Aaliyah's story I'd recommend reading her Wikipedia and specifically the section about her personal life. If you think that 'obsession' is too strong a word for how much Drake admires her, I think you should take a look at this Complex article from 2018 and reconsider.
UNCONFIRMED STORIES
(I will continuously update it whenever I find or get sent new information to add here.)

• Back in 2021 Drake was being exposed on TikTok for his 'private Tinder' where one of his guys would go out and the hottest girls in town, interview them and find the one that Drake would like the best.

“He finds the girls and then he interviews them, and out of all the girls he interviews, he picks the one that he thinks is the best,” she continued. “Then, he drives her to Drake’s place, Drake has sex with her, and then he drives her home. So, basically, Drake has his own private Tinder.”

• This girl explaining how her friend was invited by Drake's crew and she was brought along as a +1. No ID check, very young girls. Worth a watch: https://www.tiktok.com/@simonestrauss/video/7365696116085591304
  
• This reddit post - yes I know this is 'so easy to just say', but I think the poster was very right by pointing this out:
  

I'm sure you guys won't believe me, but this is the type of situation where someone vanishing and telling you is the best you'll get.

• This YouTube comment about a girl claiming to be a victim of trafficking in Toronto in 2015 and that Drake had ties in all these circles.
  
• This article from 2016, where Drake and his buddy get aggressive with an amateur photographer for taking pictures of Drake and two women. This isn't strange in and of itself, but then there's this post from 2018
  

From the article:

The mystery women were dressed identically in matching white parkas, skinny tan pants, tan boots and ponytail hairstyles.

From the post:

Maybe this foreign born one named A+ list singerapper should have told the whole story about his split with a fellow foreign born A+ lister. How she caught him more than once with another woman and his fascination for watching porn involving women wearing pigtails.

• This post

This foreign born A+ list singerapper asked for all kinds of photos from not only the 18 year old he is dating but at least two other 18 year old females and he didn't make sure they were 18 before he started asking.

• This post

That teen, who was topless in the dressing room of this foreign born A+ list singerapper last night was nowhere in the ballpark of being legal.

• This one is fucking WEIRD - some guy was jerking off and noticed something. Now there's plenty of reasons as to why they would do this, it's porn and they need a story. But then there's this post from 2017:

This one named foreign born A list rapper is going around telling porn stars he is starting his own porn company. It is just his excuse to have sex with them all and not pay.
Drake

• This Twitter post/video of UK rapper Potter Payper calling out Drake for messaging 'bare young girls in England'.
  
• This entire thread is weird to say the least. More CDAN rumors as well. Read the thread, it's too much to paste and explain here.
  
• Drake paid out $350K to sexual assault accuser - Drake initially filed a lawsuit against Layla Lace/Laquana Morris for civil extortion, fraud, defamation, abuse of process and intentional infliction of emotional distress strongly implying he's innocent - but why pay someone $350.000 then?
  

The former stripper and Instagram model wrote: "Drake forced me to perform oral on him. It wasn't your ordinary oral it was more so a fetish." She then describes how he told her to spit into a cup "until he had measured it."

• This comment about a model claiming Drake 'made girls puke in dog bowls for him'. Now that's a typical thing you can dismiss as a rumor, but the same guy commented 16 days ago and said this:

If Kendrick mentions anything about dog bowls or birthday parties in Toronto, then shit is more serious than we thought

• This interview of Aya (Born 24. April 2007) (a 'dancer' in Ice Spice - Deli and probably known for other things I just don't know her) where she's asked about having sex with Drake. She said she can't speak on it because of 'court'.
  
• This Tweet of a guy talking about his experiences in high school and the hottest girls posting from Drake's mansion and being followed by him "every single time".
  
• The Instagram page of Exclusive Artists Agency is strange and related to Drake. A dude on TikTok went in-depth on it and this is creepy in more than one way.
  

The woman who had a Twitter thread similar to this post that ended up deleting her account made an entire YouTube video out of it you can find here.
LYRICS, REFERENCES, TWEETS, PICTURES, TIES
(Again - Feel free to share with me and I'll add it.)

• On the song Nice For What Drake raps:

You got a baby Benz, you got some bad friends
High school pics, you was even bad then

• This Tweet

"If amazing was a young bitch I'd be going to jail...cause I'm fucking amazing" - Me

• This image of Drake and Malone from Drake's Instagram that's been deleted now. Malone is infamous for impregnating a 13 year old when he was 20.
  
• On the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps:
  

Just for clarity, I feel disgusted, I'm too respected
If I was fucking young girls, I promise I'd have been arrested
I'm way too famous for this shit you just suggested

• Also on the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps:

Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager

• His connection to Baka Not Nice who Drake is very close with.

In 2014, Baka was arrested and charged with forcing a 22-year-old woman into prostitution and taking her money. In 2015, he pleaded guilty to assaulting the woman and an unrelated weapons charge.

• Adel Nur who has very close business ties to Drake. He's executive producing the show Euphoria together with Drake and they co-own some shady companie(s). Another user went in-depth on their connection here.
  
• J Mulan who's an entrepreneur and close with Drake. This entire thread about her being a trafficker - and especially OP's comments are worth reading .
  
• DJ Eric who's the owner of Area 29, a strip club in Houston. Drake shouts him out in songs and is allegedly also trafficking for Drake.
  

(DIS)HONORABLE MENTION
I know people say Jorja Smith, and I do agree that dating a 19-year old as a 30-year old man is weird and rather pathetic, but every other girl mentioned is related to minors. Their relationship if you can call it that was for sure toxic, and it seems like Drake was a piece of shit abusing the power dynamic between them. This is taken from the Drizzy subreddit, but I can't provide the source since that gets the post blacklisted as it's temporarily banned because of brigading.

In “Summer Games” Drake also says ”I kept it decent, even the secrets, kept it between you and I”. What secrets exactly? Well in Jaded, Drake says this woman “told him all her insecurities”.
It’s also interesting that the song “Summer Games” is about a woman who broke up with Drake right at the beginning of the summer. Drake and Jorja were dating in April of 2017 which is right before the summer starts and only lasted a couple weeks.

But that's all there is to it. I can't dig up anything else, so unless someone have something credible with sources, I don't think there's good enough reason to add her to the list further up.
FINAL NOTE
I know there's very real questions about the reliability of CDAN and that he was exposed, but in the very same article The Daily Beast refers back to one of their old articles on the subject which definitely confirms that he had/have industry ties and do know a lot. Another reddit user dove further in and made some compelling arguments, but remember to take it with a (big) grain of salt.
If you have anything to add, please post it in the comments and if credible/sourced I'll put it in the post. If I got anything wrong please correct me and I'll edit it. If you have sources that contradict anything in the post, please also share them with me and I'll include them.
Please share this anywhere you want. I don't care about credit. If any media outlets wants to use it for their article or whatever, please do - feel free. You do not need to ask permission.

This is a long read.
TL;DR: Drake is a creep with a clear pattern of predatory behavior towards many minors and I have the receipts to back it up.
INTRODUCTION
This is a comprehensive post regarding Drake's extremely questionable behavior regarding minors and young women in general. There's more than 60 links in this post to various sources and it contains almost 30.000 characters.
If you want to repost, make a YouTube video, an article, a TikTok or Twitter thread then do it - I do not need credit, I do not care - I only want this information to be spread.
This post will serve as an archive that people can refer back to or use as a source to back up their claims.
Let me be clear - I do not like Drake. I've thought the guy was a creep ever since the Millie Bobby Brown video and I despise him - but I'll still try to remain as objective as possible here, you know my bias now though.
This thread is partly based on this thread from 2022
OVERVIEW
This post is divided into sections:

• The 17 year old at show
  
• Millie Bobby Brown
  
• Billie Eilish
  
• Kylie Jenner
  
• Hailey Baldwin (Now Bieber)
  
• Cydney Christine (Lil CC)
  
• Aaliyah
  
• Unconfirmed rumors
  
• Lyrics, references, tweets, pictures, ties
  
• (Dis)honorable mention
  
• Final Note
  

THE 17 YEAR OLD AT A SHOW
Drake is performing at a show in Ogden, Denver where he calls a girl up on stage. I really encourage you to watch this yourself, but since I know the majority of you won't watch it, I've described it for you below.
Video starts with her on stage, he asks her name, where she is from, asks the crowd to welcome her to the stage and tells her she looks great. He then asks her to give him two seconds because "I gotta be ready for you".
He wipes off his sweat with a towel and proceeds to take her hand, put it on his shoulder, his hand on her hip/back and they slowdance for a few seconds. He spins her around and stop her with her back facing him. This is when it starts to get.. really weird.
Drake says "I told you I like your hair, right, what is it, like herbal essence or something?" while he's caressing her shoulder and smelling her hair. He says something I can't hear properly, puts the mic down and exposes her upper back and neck by pulling her shirt collar down. The crowd goes wild. He then starts kissing her shoulder and neck, putting her arms around her and fondle her breast.
A few seconds later he picks up the mic again and says "you can't have me carried away again before I get in trouble - how old are you?" She responds "17". The crowd has a mixed reaction - Drake says something that is hard to make out, because of the crowd but when it's clear he says "I can't go to jail yet, man - 17? Why do you look like that? You thick - look at all this!"
It's hard to make out exactly what he says afterwards because of the poor quality (2011 zoomed video at a concert, it's bad..), but he says something about it bringing them (the 17 year old and Drake) to a close and follows it up with "I got one question for you (...) I just want to know if (something about women in Colorado), I should just take one opportunity to take one home?"
The girl nods "As a Colorado woman you'd enjoy that?" "Well, listen 17, I had fun - I don't know if I should feel guilty or not, but I had fun. I liked the way your breasts felt against my chest. I just want to thank you." He then puts the mic down again, grabs her hand and kisses it. You might think that was a little over the top, but he then immediately follows it up by putting his hand on her chin and kissing both of her cheeks, her forehead and then on her fucking lips.
I think he asks her to walk off stage, it's hard to make out, but then he says "It's okay. I'm only 23, I can do shit like that. It's all good, you know what I'm saying" and the video ends.
Addition: I know this girl has said she was not offended, violated, whatever you want to call it, but that's not the point. And I do not mean to sound like a complete dick, but it's not about her - it's about Drake and proving his pattern of behavior over many instances. If you stopped here because she denied it, you completely missed the point.
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN
Now this video was what really made me do a double take on Drake. Now, there's one very important fact to establish here and that is that Millie Bobby Brown at the time of this interview (18. September 2018) is 14 (Born 19. February 2004). I'll quickly transcribe the interview here:
Interviewer:

What about your relationship with Drake, tell me about your friendship, how did this all come about?

Millie Bobby Brown:

I love him. I met him in Australia and he's honestly so fantastic and a great friend and a great role model. You know we text - we just texted each other the other day and he was like "I miss you so much" and I was like "I miss you more". He's coming to Atlanta, so I'm definitely gonna go and see him and I'm so excited.

Interviewer 2:

You and Drake? That's awesome. That's awesome..

Interviewer:

What advice does he give you? What does he say?

MMB:

About boys he helps me, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah he's great. He's wonderful, I love him.

Interviewer:

What's his advice with boys?

MMB:

Ehm, you know.. That stays in the text messages.

I'm sure it's obvious what is wrong here and I don't need to spell it out for any of you, but I do have one thing to add. If Drake is giving advice about boys and telling her "I miss you so much" they must have talked for a while. It's not something you say after knowing a person for a week. We are talking months at least. There's 7 months between her birthday and the interview - did Drake already start talking to her when she was 13? It would make sense that Drake was in Australia during their summer (Dec-Feb) for festivals/concerts/vacation.
Millie has only commented on this once which was a few days later in a story on Instagram
I don't want or mean to infantilize her, but she was 14. She would have no chance of knowing if Drake actually was grooming her. There's not a chance that she could understand the dynamic at play and why it's wrong at that age.
Drake also defended their friendship on the song Another Late Night when he raps:

Weirdos in my comments talkin' 'bout some Millie Bobby, look
Bring them jokes up to the gang, we get to really flockin'

Ironically enough that very same song is also connected to the next person
BILLIE EILISH
The year after the Millie Bobby Brown controversy Drake gets caught texting a minor again and this time it's Billie Eilish. She does a yearly interview with Vanity Fair, and in the 2019 version she's asked who's her most famous contact in her phone. That's when she reveals she's been texting with Drake and that he's so very nice to her. Billie is at the time of the interview (released 25. November 2019) 17 (born 18. December 2001).
Billie did defend Drake and their texting in an interview with Vogue ~3 months later:

“The internet is such a stupid-ass mess right now,” says Eilish, who quit Twitter in 2018. “Everybody’s so sensitive. A grown man can’t be a fan of an artist? There are so many people that the internet should be more worried about. Like, you’re really going to say that Drake is creepy because he’s a fan of mine, and then you’re going to go vote for Trump? What the fuck is that shit?”

On the song Another Late Night where Drake mentions Millie Bobby Brown, Lil Yachty is featured (one of Drake's gho.. co-writers) and he raps the line:

I let her go, she fine as hell but baby wasn't stylish (Yeah)
She had big tits like Billie Eilish but she couldn't sing (Drip)

Now - I know this is not Drake, I just thought it was a 'funny' coincidence that these two women are connected through their shared experiences with Drake and this song. On another note some might say that Drake should have asked Yachty to omit this line if he really was a friend of Billie Eilish since she has been quite vocal about sexualization of herself and women in general.
BELLA HARRIS
This one is pretty fucking bad in my opinion. Bella Harris is the daughter of Jimmy Jam who's a record producer, songwriter etc. and has been very successful. Through him she's been in and around the entertainment/music business her whole life and met Drake that way.
There's an archive of photos posted here that contains the old IG posts she had with Drake. The first one was on May 5th, 2016 - Bella Harris is born 20. April, 2000. She had just turned 16 at the time.
Objectively I think they are defendable since they are all music related - Rihanna concert, Summer Sixteen Tour (ironic name..) and the American Music Awards, but then two years later they reportedly start dating and that makes it really difficult to believe, especially with the last archived photo of them in 2018. Also the same photo that is referenced in this article talking about Drake renting an entire restaurant for an intimate dinner between them.
Note that E! have confirmed it and are not backing down on their claim despite Harris denying it on Instagram.
Her father liked this post on Instagram about the whole situation. It's not particular to the restaurant or previous potential dating it's more so a general declaration of support for Drake, but that includes the PDF-file allegations.
Him supporting Drake made me search for more information, because I wanted to find whether or not he had spoken about it at the time. That led me to this article where her mother, Lisa, is being asked a few questions regarding Bella.

I was surprised Jimmy Jam hasn't introduced Bella to Drake, Rihanna or anybody else in the music world she is interested in meeting.
"No," said Lisa. "She loves Rihanna, she loves Beyoncé. [Bella has met Bey; her brother Max has met Ri-Ri.] She hasn't met Drake. Too old."

Lisa Harris about a photo of Bella (included in the article) - Bella is 14, almost 15 at the time.

I think Drake would behave himself around a child, even one dressed like this, to wit: Mom doesn't think this photo is too sexy, in all its legginess?
"SHE'S WEARING A BATHING SUIT and a coat!" said Lisa. "Sexy? What? My point is it's a body business, so I don't look at it [that way]. It's a posed picture. She has a one-piece bathing suit on. It's artistic."

KYLIE JENNER
Ever since the Kanye (also fuck Kanye for the record) vs. Drake beef we (or I at least) became aware of the fact that Drake has had a long relationship with the Kardashians/Jenners and known them for many, many years. In fact Drake performed at Kylie's sweet 16 back in 2013. You know what that Sweet 16 was specifically remembered for as well? Drake kissing Kylie on the cheek in front of everyone, including her then boyfriend Jaden Smith.
That's not out of the ordinary and would be very normal, if it wasn't for the clear pattern that is going on here, because guess what - 6 years later Drake and Kylie reportedly start dating, well.. dating/fucking/whatever you wanna call it. Admittedly this article is easily dismissed as paparazzi journalism and clickbait, but what if I told you that Drake has rapped this:

Yeah, I’m a hater to society/Real shit, Kylie Jenner that’s a side piece/Yeah, I got 20 muthafuckas in’ Kylies.

You probably wouldn't have heard it, since it was on an unreleased track played on an Instagram Live back in 2020, but it does make it seem pretty likely that he did actually hook up with her, especially considering the response Drake posted

“A song that mark ran last night on night owl sound live set shouldn’t have been played,” he wrote, “It’s a song that leaked 3 years ago and got scrapped shortly after. He was just going too deep in the drake/future catalogue. Last thing I’d want to do is wake up having any friends of mine feeling disrespected so I just had to say that to start off the day.”

Kylie was 22 at the time they reportedly hooked up.
HAILEY BALDWIN (NOW BIEBER)
In 2016 there were reports that Hailey and Drake were dating. Apparently they hooked up at a party that Drake hosted, where another attendee is also mentioned that seems oddly relevant:

Drake and Hailey weren't the only ones getting close, with Kylie Jenner and rumoured new boyfriend PartyNextDoor were seen "making out" at the party.
"It was almost like she was trying to make a statement," an insider added.

Now again - there's nothing illegal in a 11 year age difference and dating a 19-year old as 30. It's weird, yes. But again we come back to the pattern. Why do Drake know Hailey? Through their similar friends and friend group (Kardashians/Jenners). How long has Drake known Hailey? Well, when Hailey was 19, she said they had known each other for a long time.
We can actually get even closer with certainty since we know that Hailey attended Kylie's Sweet 16 in August, 2013. Hailey is born 22. November 1996, so she was also 16 at the time. So it's another girl that Drake has known since she was a minor and started dating when he got the opportunity. This is not normal.
Another pattern that Drake also seem to follow is that likes to hook up with his friends girl. We know for a fact that he hooked up with Lil Wayne's girlfriend while he was in prison. He not only rap about it, but also admit it in an interview. It's not really hard to believe that he did the same with Bieber.
CYDNEY CHRISTINE (LIL CC)
Cydney Christine is a beatmaker and model - she produced the Drake song Money In The Grave and in a Complex interview/roundtable she talks about it and Drake.

Really the only artist I reached out to is Drake. I'd never met him, never spoke to him, I don't know why, but he has been following me for the past like 6 years. I don't know why..

This interview was uploaded 17. December 2019, Cydney Christine's is born 21. July, 1997, meaning she was 22 at the time of the interview and 15-16 when Drake started following her. This is somewhat innocent but strange since Drake is 27 at the time. That's not what is really weird though.
In March 2023, Lil CC is on the No Jumper podcast and here she speaks about Drake and having her debut beat being a Drake single.
Lil CC: I played basketball, right, so he really was a fan or not a fan, sorry, supported one of my teammates at the time um..
Adam 22: And this is when you are in high school?
Lil CC: Yeah, in high school. So he was a fan of women's basketball - high school basketball - I was her teammate so he followed me because of her, and I was like "oh shit, bitch, you got Drake to follow me, like what the hell? Like that's so crazy". So he followed me and I lost it - I have to meet Drake, I love Drake, I've always loved Drake, still love Drake.
There's more to the conversation, but the relevant part is here is that it's just very, very strange for Drake to be a women's high school basketball fan. They are 16 at the time. He's a supporter of a 16 year old female high school basketball player as a 27 year old grown adult man. He has not hooked up with her, dated or anything of the sorts that we know of or that she has told - for the record.
AALIYAH
It's not like I have whole section for this, but his obsession with Aaliyah is just another part of the pattern. I don't have a lot to contribute here, but if you don't know Aaliyah's story I'd recommend reading her Wikipedia and specifically the section about her personal life. If you think that 'obsession' is too strong a word for how much Drake admires her, I think you should take a look at this Complex article from 2018 and reconsider.
UNCONFIRMED STORIES
(I will continuously update it whenever I find or get sent new information to add here.)

• Back in 2021 Drake was being exposed on TikTok for his 'private Tinder' where one of his guys would go out and the hottest girls in town, interview them and find the one that Drake would like the best.

“He finds the girls and then he interviews them, and out of all the girls he interviews, he picks the one that he thinks is the best,” she continued. “Then, he drives her to Drake’s place, Drake has sex with her, and then he drives her home. So, basically, Drake has his own private Tinder.”

• This girl explaining how her friend was invited by Drake's crew and she was brought along as a +1. No ID check, very young girls. Worth a watch: https://www.tiktok.com/@simonestrauss/video/7365696116085591304
  
• This reddit post - yes I know this is 'so easy to just say', but I think the poster was very right by pointing this out:
  

I'm sure you guys won't believe me, but this is the type of situation where someone vanishing and telling you is the best you'll get.

• This YouTube comment about a girl claiming to be a victim of trafficking in Toronto in 2015 and that Drake had ties in all these circles.
  
• This article from 2016, where Drake and his buddy get aggressive with an amateur photographer for taking pictures of Drake and two women. This isn't strange in and of itself, but then there's this post from 2018
  

From the article:

The mystery women were dressed identically in matching white parkas, skinny tan pants, tan boots and ponytail hairstyles.

From the post:

Maybe this foreign born one named A+ list singerapper should have told the whole story about his split with a fellow foreign born A+ lister. How she caught him more than once with another woman and his fascination for watching porn involving women wearing pigtails.

• This post

This foreign born A+ list singerapper asked for all kinds of photos from not only the 18 year old he is dating but at least two other 18 year old females and he didn't make sure they were 18 before he started asking.

• This post

That teen, who was topless in the dressing room of this foreign born A+ list singerapper last night was nowhere in the ballpark of being legal.

• This one is fucking WEIRD - some guy was jerking off and noticed something. Now there's plenty of reasons as to why they would do this, it's porn and they need a story. But then there's this post from 2017:

This one named foreign born A list rapper is going around telling porn stars he is starting his own porn company. It is just his excuse to have sex with them all and not pay.
Drake

• This Twitter post/video of UK rapper Potter Payper calling out Drake for messaging 'bare young girls in England'.
  
• This entire thread is weird to say the least. More CDAN rumors as well. Read the thread, it's too much to paste and explain here.
  
• Drake paid out $350K to sexual assault accuser - Drake initially filed a lawsuit against Layla Lace/Laquana Morris for civil extortion, fraud, defamation, abuse of process and intentional infliction of emotional distress strongly implying he's innocent - but why pay someone $350.000 then?
  

The former stripper and Instagram model wrote: "Drake forced me to perform oral on him. It wasn't your ordinary oral it was more so a fetish." She then describes how he told her to spit into a cup "until he had measured it."

• This comment about a model claiming Drake 'made girls puke in dog bowls for him'. Now that's a typical thing you can dismiss as a rumor, but the same guy commented 16 days ago and said this:

If Kendrick mentions anything about dog bowls or birthday parties in Toronto, then shit is more serious than we thought

• This interview of Aya (Born 24. April 2007) (a 'dancer' in Ice Spice - Deli and probably known for other things I just don't know her) where she's asked about having sex with Drake. She said she can't speak on it because of 'court'.
  
• This Tweet of a guy talking about his experiences in high school and the hottest girls posting from Drake's mansion and being followed by him "every single time".
  
• The Instagram page of Exclusive Artists Agency is strange and related to Drake. A dude on TikTok went in-depth on it and this is creepy in more than one way.
  

LYRICS, REFERENCES, TWEETS, PICTURES, TIES
(Again - Feel free to share with me and I'll add it.)

• On the song Nice For What Drake raps:

You got a baby Benz, you got some bad friends
High school pics, you was even bad then

• This Tweet

"If amazing was a young bitch I'd be going to jail...cause I'm fucking amazing" - Me

• This image of Drake and Malone from Drake's Instagram that's been deleted now. Malone is infamous for impregnating a 13 year old when he was 20.
  
• On the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps:
  

Just for clarity, I feel disgusted, I'm too respected
If I was fucking young girls, I promise I'd have been arrested
I'm way too famous for this shit you just suggested

• Also on the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps:

Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager

• His connection to Baka Not Nice who Drake is very close with.

In 2014, Baka was arrested and charged with forcing a 22-year-old woman into prostitution and taking her money. In 2015, he pleaded guilty to assaulting the woman and an unrelated weapons charge.

• Adel Nur who has very close business ties to Drake. He's executive producing the show Euphoria together with Drake and they co-own some shady companie(s). Another user went in-depth on their connection here.
  
• J Mulan who's an entrepreneur and close with Drake. This entire thread about her being a trafficker - and especially OP's comments are worth reading .
  
• DJ Eric who's the owner of Area 29, a strip club in Houston. Drake shouts him out in songs and is allegedly also trafficking for Drake.
  

(DIS)HONORABLE MENTION
I know people say Jorja Smith, and I do agree that dating a 19-year old as a 30-year old man is weird and rather pathetic, but every other girl mentioned is related to minors. Their relationship if you can call it that was for sure toxic, and it seems like Drake was a piece of shit abusing the power dynamic between them. This is taken from the Drizzy subreddit, but I can't provide the source since that gets the post blacklisted as it's temporarily banned because of brigading.

In “Summer Games” Drake also says ”I kept it decent, even the secrets, kept it between you and I”. What secrets exactly? Well in Jaded, Drake says this woman “told him all her insecurities”.
It’s also interesting that the song “Summer Games” is about a woman who broke up with Drake right at the beginning of the summer. Drake and Jorja were dating in April of 2017 which is right before the summer starts and only lasted a couple weeks.

But that's all there is to it. I can't dig up anything else, so unless someone have something credible with sources, I don't think there's good enough reason to add her to the list further up.
FINAL NOTE
I know there's questions about the reliability of CDAN and that he was exposed, but in the very same article The Daily Beast refers back to one of their old articles on the subject which definitely confirms that he had/have industry ties and do know a lot. Another reddit user dove further in and made some compelling arguments.
If you have anything to add, please post it in the comments and if credible/sourced I'll put it in the post. If I got anything wrong please correct me and I'll edit it. If you have sources that contradict anything in the post, please also share them with me and I'll include them.
Please share this anywhere you want. I don't care about credit. If any media outlets wants to use it for their article or whatever, please do - feel free. You do not need to ask permission.

Ok so I had this dream recently and it had a lot of elements to it and I would really like it analyzed. The dream played out like a movie, like I wasn't seeing it through my eyes, but like I was watching it. It started out with me and this girl walking through an abandoned cemetery. It definitely wasn't a real place but it felt so familiar. Me and this girl are talking and I told her,"I really like cemeteries." And she said,"I don't, I've learned not to do that." And for some reason that made me fall in love with her. While walking through the cemetery, we found an abandoned house, so we went inside. Inside contained records of all the graves in this really old book. There were about 5 pictures in the book of certain gravestones. Every time I looked at one of the pictures I would see the gravestone in the "present" and see how worn down then were, then I would see the picture of before it was worn down. After I put the book down me and the girl saw a casket made of glass in the middle of this room. It was really dirty and dusty, so if there was a body in it we couldn't see it. I leaned over it to peer in and I heard the girl gasp. So I turned around, and some guy was dragging in a body. We just stared at him and he stared back for a minute. Next thing I know, we are outside the house and he slams the door on us. That man had nothing to do with the rest of the dream, he never even gets mentioned again. Me and the girl then just left. We planned out a date to go to the beach together. So, about a day later me and her went on a date at the beach at night. We were walking on the beach while she held on to me. We walked under this pier where she then kissed me. I've kissed girls in my dreams before, but this time it felt so real. The kiss felt real, the happiness I got from it felt real. It was just so real feeling. The next day she's supposed to pick me up and take me to school. I woke up before she could, but like I said, it felt so real that I thought it actually happened. I opened my phone to text her, but to my dismay, she wasn't real. Please someone analyze all the strange components of my dream and get back to m. Thank You.

This is a long read.
TL;DR: Drake is a creep with a clear pattern of predatory behavior towards many minors and I have the receipts to back it up.
INTRODUCTION
This is a comprehensive post regarding Drake's extremely questionable behavior regarding minors and young women in general. There's more than 60 links in this post to various sources and it contains almost 30.000 characters - if you want to repost, make a YouTube video, an article, a TikTok or Twitter thread then do it - I do not need credit, I do not care - I only want this information to be spread. This post will serve as an archive that people can refer back to or use as a source to back up their claims.
Let me be clear - I do not like Drake. I've thought the guy was a creep ever since the Millie Bobby Brown video and I despise him - but I'll still try to remain as objective as possible here, you know my bias now though.
This thread is partly based on this thread from 2022
Read this comment for edits I've made to the post.
OVERVIEW
This post is divided into sections:

• The 17 year old at show
  
• Millie Bobby Brown
  
• Billie Eilish
  
• Kylie Jenner
  
• Hailey Baldwin (Now Bieber)
  
• Cydney Christine (Lil CC)
  
• Aaliyah
  
• Unconfirmed rumors
  
• Lyrics, references, tweets, pictures, ties
  
• (Dis)honorable mention
  
• Final Note
  

THE 17 YEAR OLD AT A SHOW
Drake is performing at a show in Ogden, Denver where he calls a girl up on stage. I really encourage you to watch this yourself, but since I know the majority of you won't watch it, I've described it for you below.
Video starts with her on stage, he asks her name, where she is from, asks the crowd to welcome her to the stage and tells her she looks great. He then asks her to give him two seconds because "I gotta be ready for you". He wipes off his sweat with a towel and proceeds to take her hand, put it on his shoulder, his hand on her hip/back and they slowdance for a few seconds. He spins her around and stop her with her back facing him. This is when it starts to get.. really weird.
Drake says "I told you I like your hair, right, what is it, like herbal essence or something?" while he's caressing her shoulder and smelling her hair. He says something I can't hear properly, puts the mic down and exposes her upper back and neck by pulling her shirt collar down. The crowd goes wild. He then starts kissing her shoulder and neck, putting her arms around her and fondle her breast. The girl on stage looks.. uncomfortable. A few seconds later he picks up the mic again and says "you can't have me carried away again before I get in trouble - how old are you?" She responds "17". The crowd has a mixed reaction - Drake says something that is hard to make out, because of the crowd but when it's clear he says "I can't go to jail yet, man - 17? Why do you look like that? You thick - look at all this!"
It's hard to make out exactly what he says afterwards because of the poor quality (2011 zoomed video at a concert, it's bad..), but he says something about it bringing them (the 17 year old and Drake) to a close and follows it up with "I got one question for you (...) I just want to know if (something about women in Colorado), I should just take one opportunity to take one home?" The girl nods "As a Colorado woman you'd enjoy that?" "Well, listen 17, I had fun - I don't know if I should feel guilty or not, but I had fun. I liked the way your breasts felt against my chest. I just want to thank you." He then puts the mic down again, grabs her hand and kisses it. You might think that was a little over the top, but he then immediately follows it up by putting his hand on her chin and kissing both of her cheeks, her forehead and then on HER FUCKING LIPS. I think he asks her to walk off stage, it's hard to make out, but then he says "It's okay. I'm only 23, I can do shit like that. It's all good, you know what I'm saying" and the video ends.
Addition: I know this girl has said she was not offended, violated, whatever you want to call it, but that's not the point. And I do not mean to sound like a complete dick, but it's not about her - it's about Drake and proving his pattern of behavior over many instances. If you stopped here because she denied it, you completely missed the point.
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN
Now this video was what really made me do a double take on Drake. Now, there's one very important fact to establish here and that is that Millie Bobby Brown at the time of this interview (18. September 2018) is 14 (Born 19. February 2004). I'll quickly transcribe the interview here:
Interviewer: What about your relationship with Drake, tell me about your friendship, how did this all come about?
Millie Bobby Brown: I love him. I met him in Australia and he's honestly so fantastic and a great friend and a great role model. You know we text - we just texted each other the other day and he was like "I miss you so much" and I was like "I miss you more". He's coming to Atlanta, so I'm definitely gonna go and see him and I'm so excited.
Interviewer 2: You and Drake? That's awesome. That's awesome..
Interviewer: What advice does he give you? What does he say?
MMB: About boys he helps me, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah he's great. He's wonderful, I love him.
Interviewer: What's his advice with boys?
MMB: Ehm, you know.. That stays in the text messages.
I'm sure it's obvious what is wrong here and I don't need to spell it out for any of you, but I do have one thing to add. If Drake is giving advice about boys and telling her "I miss you so much" they must have talked for a while. It's not something you say after knowing a person for a week. We are talking months at least. There's 7 months between her birthday and the interview - did Drake already start talking to her when she was 13? It would make sense that Drake was in Australia during their summer (Dec-Feb) for festivals/concerts/vacation. It's probably possible to figure out through social media posts, but I'm not digging that deep.
Millie has only commented on this once which was a few days later in a story on Instagram
I don't want or mean to infantilize her, but she was 14. She would have no chance of knowing if Drake actually was grooming her. There's not a chance that she could understand the dynamic at play and why it's wrong at that age.
Drake also defended their friendship on the song Another Late Night when he raps:

Weirdos in my comments talkin' 'bout some Millie Bobby, look
Bring them jokes up to the gang, we get to really flockin'

Ironically enough that very same song is also connected to the next person
BILLIE EILISH
The year after the Millie Bobby Brown controversy Drake gets caught texting a minor again and this time it's Billie Eilish. She does a yearly interview with Vanity Fair, and in the 2019 version she's asked who's her most famous contact in her phone. That's when she reveals she's been texting with Drake and that he's so very nice to her. Billie is at the time of the interview (released 25. November 2019) 17 (born 18. December 2001).
Billie did defend Drake and their texting in an interview with Vogue ~3 months later:

“The internet is such a stupid-ass mess right now,” says Eilish, who quit Twitter in 2018. “Everybody’s so sensitive. A grown man can’t be a fan of an artist? There are so many people that the internet should be more worried about. Like, you’re really going to say that Drake is creepy because he’s a fan of mine, and then you’re going to go vote for Trump? What the fuck is that shit?”

On the song Another Late Night where Drake mentions Millie Bobby Brown, Lil Yachty is featured (one of Drake's gho.. co-writers) and he raps the line:

I let her go, she fine as hell but baby wasn't stylish (Yeah)
She had big tits like Billie Eilish but she couldn't sing (Drip)

Now - I know this is not Drake, I just thought it was a 'funny' coincidence that these two women are connected through their shared experiences with Drake and this song. On another note some might say that Drake should have asked Yachty to omit this line if he really was a friend of Billie Eilish since she has been quite vocal about sexualization of herself and women in general.
BELLA HARRIS
This one is pretty fucking bad in my opinion. Bella Harris is the daughter of Jimmy Jam who's a record producer, songwriter etc. and has been very successful. Through him she's been in and around the entertainment/music business her whole life and met Drake that way.
There's an archive of photos posted here that contains the old IG posts she had with Drake. The first one was on May 5th, 2016 - Bella Harris is born 20. April, 2000. She had just turned 16 at the time. Objectively I think they are defendable since they are all music related - Rihanna concert, Summer Sixteen Tour (ironic name..) and the American Music Awards, but then two years later they reportedly start dating and that makes it really difficult to believe, especially with the last archived photo of them in 2018. Also the same photo that is referenced in this article talking about Drake renting an entire restaurant for an intimate dinner between them. Note that E! have confirmed it and are not backing down on their claim despite Harris denying it on Instagram.
Her father liked this post on Instagram about the whole situation. It's not particular to the restaurant or previous potential dating it's more so a general declaration of support for Drake, but that includes the PDF-file allegations.
Him supporting Drake made me search for more information, because I wanted to find whether or not he had spoken about it at the time. That led me to this article where her mother, Lisa, is being asked a few questions regarding Bella.

I was surprised Jimmy Jam hasn't introduced Bella to Drake, Rihanna or anybody else in the music world she is interested in meeting.
"No," said Lisa. "She loves Rihanna, she loves Beyoncé. [Bella has met Bey; her brother Max has met Ri-Ri.] She hasn't met Drake. Too old."

Lisa Harris about a photo of Bella (included in the article) - Bella is 14, almost 15 at the time.

I think Drake would behave himself around a child, even one dressed like this, to wit: Mom doesn't think this photo is too sexy, in all its legginess?
"SHE'S WEARING A BATHING SUIT and a coat!" said Lisa. "Sexy? What? My point is it's a body business, so I don't look at it [that way]. It's a posed picture. She has a one-piece bathing suit on. It's artistic."

KYLIE JENNER
Ever since the Kanye (also fuck Kanye for the record) vs. Drake beef we (or I at least) became aware of the fact that Drake has had a long relationship with the Kardashians/Jenners and known them for many, many years. In fact Drake performed at Kylie's sweet 16 back in 2013. You know what that Sweet 16 was specifically remembered for as well? Drake kissing Kylie on the cheek in front of everyone, including her then boyfriend Jaden Smith.
That's not out of the ordinary and would be very normal, if it wasn't for the clear pattern that is going on here, because guess what - 6 years later Drake and Kylie reportedly start dating, well.. dating/fucking/whatever you wanna call it. Admittedly this article is easily dismissed as paparazzi journalism and clickbait, but what if I told you that Drake has rapped this:

Yeah, I’m a hater to society/Real shit, Kylie Jenner that’s a side piece/Yeah, I got 20 muthafuckas in’ Kylies.

You probably wouldn't have heard it, since it was on an unreleased track played on an Instagram Live back in 2020, but it does make it seem pretty likely that he did actually hook up with her, especially considering the response Drake posted

“A song that mark ran last night on night owl sound live set shouldn’t have been played,” he wrote, “It’s a song that leaked 3 years ago and got scrapped shortly after. He was just going too deep in the drake/future catalogue. Last thing I’d want to do is wake up having any friends of mine feeling disrespected so I just had to say that to start off the day.”

Kylie was 22 at the time they reportedly hooked up.
HAILEY BALDWIN (NOW BIEBER)
In 2016 there were reports that Hailey and Drake were dating. Apparently they hooked up at a party that Drake hosted, where another attendee is also mentioned that seems oddly relevant:

Drake and Hailey weren't the only ones getting close, with Kylie Jenner and rumoured new boyfriend PartyNextDoor were seen "making out" at the party.
"It was almost like she was trying to make a statement," an insider added.

Now again - there's nothing illegal in a 11 year age difference and dating a 19-year old as 30. It's weird, yes. But again we come back to the pattern. Why do Drake know Hailey? Through their similar friends and friend group (Kardashians/Jenners). How long has Drake known Hailey? Well, when Hailey was 19, she said they had known each other for a long time.
We can actually get even closer with certainty since we know that Hailey attended Kylie's Sweet 16 in August, 2013. Hailey is born 22. November 1996, so she was also 16 at the time. So it's another girl that Drake has known since she was a minor and started dating when he got the opportunity. This is not normal.
Another pattern that Drake also seem to follow is that likes to hook up with his friends girl. We know for a fact that he hooked up with Lil Wayne's girlfriend while he was in prison. He not only rap about it, but also admit it in an interview. It's not really hard to believe that he did the same with Bieber.
CYDNEY CHRISTINE (LIL CC)
Cydney Christine is a beatmaker and model - she produced the Drake song Money In The Grave and in a Complex interview/roundtable she talks about it and Drake.

Really the only artist I reached out to is Drake. I'd never met him, never spoke to him, I don't know why, but he has been following me for the past like 6 years. I don't know why..

This interview was uploaded 17. December 2019, Cydney Christine's is born 21. July, 1997, meaning she was 22 at the time of the interview and 15-16 when Drake started following her. This is somewhat innocent but strange since Drake is 27 at the time. That's not what is really weird though.
In March 2023, Lil CC is on the No Jumper podcast and here she speaks about Drake and having her debut beat being a Drake single.
Lil CC: I played basketball, right, so he really was a fan or not a fan, sorry, supported one of my teammates at the time um..
Adam 22: And this is when you are in high school?
Lil CC: Yeah, in high school. So he was a fan of women's basketball - high school basketball - I was her teammate so he followed me because of her, and I was like "oh shit, bitch, you got Drake to follow me, like what the hell? Like that's so crazy". So he followed me and I lost it - I have to meet Drake, I love Drake, I've always loved Drake, still love Drake.
There's more to the conversation, but the relevant part is here is that it's just very, very strange for Drake to be a women's high school basketball fan. They are 16 at the time. He's a supporter of a 16 year old female high school basketball player as a 27 year old grown adult man. He has not hooked up with her, dated or anything of the sorts that we know of or that she has told - for the record.
AALIYAH
It's not like I have whole section for this, but his obsession with Aaliyah is just another part of the pattern. I don't have a lot to contribute here, but if you don't know Aaliyah's story I'd recommend reading her Wikipedia and specifically the section about her personal life. If you think that 'obsession' is too strong a word for how much Drake admires her, I think you should take a look at this Complex article from 2018 and reconsider.
UNCONFIRMED STORIES
(I will continuously update it whenever I find or get sent new information to add here.)

• Back in 2021 Drake was being exposed on TikTok for his 'private Tinder' where one of his guys would go out and the hottest girls in town, interview them and find the one that Drake would like the best.

“He finds the girls and then he interviews them, and out of all the girls he interviews, he picks the one that he thinks is the best,” she continued. “Then, he drives her to Drake’s place, Drake has sex with her, and then he drives her home. So, basically, Drake has his own private Tinder.”

• This girl explaining how her friend was invited by Drake's crew and she was brought along as a +1. No ID check, very young girls. Worth a watch: https://www.tiktok.com/@simonestrauss/video/7365696116085591304
  
• This reddit post - yes I know this is 'so easy to just say', but I think the poster was very right by pointing this out:
  

I'm sure you guys won't believe me, but this is the type of situation where someone vanishing and telling you is the best you'll get.

• This YouTube comment about a girl claiming to be a victim of trafficking in Toronto in 2015 and that Drake had ties in all these circles.
  
• This article from 2016, where Drake and his buddy get aggressive with an amateur photographer for taking pictures of Drake and two women. This isn't strange in and of itself, but then there's this post from 2018
  

From the article:

The mystery women were dressed identically in matching white parkas, skinny tan pants, tan boots and ponytail hairstyles.

From the post:

Maybe this foreign born one named A+ list singerapper should have told the whole story about his split with a fellow foreign born A+ lister. How she caught him more than once with another woman and his fascination for watching porn involving women wearing pigtails.

• This post

This foreign born A+ list singerapper asked for all kinds of photos from not only the 18 year old he is dating but at least two other 18 year old females and he didn't make sure they were 18 before he started asking.

• This post

That teen, who was topless in the dressing room of this foreign born A+ list singerapper last night was nowhere in the ballpark of being legal.

• This one is fucking WEIRD - some guy was jerking off and noticed something. Now there's plenty of reasons as to why they would do this, it's porn and they need a story. But then there's this post from 2017:

This one named foreign born A list rapper is going around telling porn stars he is starting his own porn company. It is just his excuse to have sex with them all and not pay.
Drake

• This Twitter post/video of UK rapper Potter Payper calling out Drake for messaging 'bare young girls in England'.
  
• This entire thread is weird to say the least. More CDAN rumors as well. Read the thread, it's too much to paste and explain here.
  
• Drake paid out $350K to sexual assault accuser - Drake initially filed a lawsuit against Layla Lace/Laquana Morris for civil extortion, fraud, defamation, abuse of process and intentional infliction of emotional distress strongly implying he's innocent - but why pay someone $350.000 then?
  

The former stripper and Instagram model wrote: "Drake forced me to perform oral on him. It wasn't your ordinary oral it was more so a fetish." She then describes how he told her to spit into a cup "until he had measured it."

• This comment about a model claiming Drake 'made girls puke in dog bowls for him'. Now that's a typical thing you can dismiss as a rumor, but the same guy commented 16 days ago and said this:

If Kendrick mentions anything about dog bowls or birthday parties in Toronto, then shit is more serious than we thought

• This interview of Aya (Born 24. April 2007) (a 'dancer' in Ice Spice - Deli and probably known for other things I just don't know her) where she's asked about having sex with Drake. She said she can't speak on it because of 'court'.
  
• This Tweet of a guy talking about his experiences in high school and the hottest girls posting from Drake's mansion and being followed by him "every single time".
  
• Shaye G who formerly dated Drake explains alleged threats on HOT 97 ~10 years ago.
  
• The Instagram page of Exclusive Artists Agency is strange and related to Drake. A dude on TikTok went in-depth on it and this is creepy in more than one way.
  
• The woman who had a Twitter thread similar to this post that ended up deleting her account made an entire YouTube video out of it you can find here.
  

LYRICS, REFERENCES, TWEETS, PICTURES, TIES
(Again - Feel free to share with me and I'll add it.)

• On the song Nice For What Drake raps:

You got a baby Benz, you got some bad friends
High school pics, you was even bad then

• This Tweet

"If amazing was a young bitch I'd be going to jail...cause I'm fucking amazing" - Me

• This image of Drake and Malone from Drake's Instagram that's been deleted now. Malone is infamous for impregnating a 13 year old when he was 20.
  
• On the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps:
  

Just for clarity, I feel disgusted, I'm too respected
If I was fucking young girls, I promise I'd have been arrested
I'm way too famous for this shit you just suggested

• Also on the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps:

Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager

• His connection to Baka Not Nice who Drake is very close with.

In 2014, Baka was arrested and charged with forcing a 22-year-old woman into prostitution and taking her money. In 2015, he pleaded guilty to assaulting the woman and an unrelated weapons charge.

• Adel Nur who has very close business ties to Drake. He's executive producing the show Euphoria together with Drake and they co-own some shady companie(s). Another user went in-depth on their connection here.
  
• J Mulan who's an entrepreneur and close with Drake. This entire thread about her being a trafficker - and especially OP's comments are worth reading .
  
• DJ Eric who's the owner of Area 29, a strip club in Houston. Drake shouts him out in songs and is allegedly also trafficking for Drake.
  

(DIS)HONORABLE MENTION
I know people say Jorja Smith, and I do agree that dating a 19-year old as a 30-year old man is weird and rather pathetic, but every other girl mentioned is related to minors. Their relationship if you can call it that was for sure toxic, and it seems like Drake was a piece of shit abusing the power dynamic between them. This is taken from the Drizzy subreddit, but I can't provide the source since that gets the post blacklisted as it's temporarily banned because of brigading.

In “Summer Games” Drake also says ”I kept it decent, even the secrets, kept it between you and I”. What secrets exactly? Well in Jaded, Drake says this woman “told him all her insecurities”.
It’s also interesting that the song “Summer Games” is about a woman who broke up with Drake right at the beginning of the summer. Drake and Jorja were dating in April of 2017 which is right before the summer starts and only lasted a couple weeks.

But that's all there is to it. I can't dig up anything else, so unless someone have something credible with sources, I don't think there's good enough reason to add her to the list further up.
FINAL NOTE
I know there's questions about the reliability of CDAN and that he was exposed, but in the very same article The Daily Beast refers back to one of their old articles on the subject which definitely confirms that he had/have industry ties and do know a lot. Another reddit user dove further in and made some compelling arguments.
If you have anything to add, please post it in the comments and if credible/sourced I'll put it in the post. If I got anything wrong please correct me and I'll edit it. If you have sources that contradict anything in the post, please also share them with me and I'll include them.
Please share this anywhere you want. I don't care about credit. If any media outlets wants to use it for their article or whatever, please do - feel free. You do not need to ask permission.

The sky is blue. The grass is green. The dirt is cordovan.
A few years ago, Jane and JJ helped me come up with a list of sorts. I call them my truths, things I know for sure are real, are tangible, and aren't delusions. I guess a better name for them would be my reminders. My mind is so preoccupied with putting the pieces together that sometimes I don’t even eat. They’re all written down in a small book, only slightly larger than my hand. The front and back covers are a rich, black leather with the initials “J.D.” imprinted on the front in gold. I keep it with me at all times.
My name is John Doe. I Have a wife, her name is Jane Doe. I have a daughter, her name is Jane Doe.
It’s helpful – it’s prevented a good deal of possible mishaps – but no matter what I’ll never truly be free from what I see. The things that aren’t there – monsters and ghouls, beasts and savages, friends and foes, homes and castles – they’ll always reveal themselves to me. What’s real and what’s not is meant to be a simple distinction, but in a way my delusions have become my reality.
I work under the director of sales for Jakob Incorporated. I live in a green, two story house on Frontal Lane. I work to support my family and home.
I was born silent, too silent. The doctors that assisted in my birth were terrified. A child that doesnt cry when first experiencing the gripping reality of life is the first sign of a multitude of medical problems that, in most cases, end with a two foot long casket and years of self loathing. For seventy-two hours I was poked and prodded endlessly. For the most part I was a perfectly healthy infant. Flush, burning red cheeks, lightly pigmented, feather-soft skin, delicate, twig and paper bones not yet connected at the joints. They drew blood, tested my oxygen levels, and there were endless x-rays and scans. Testing was excruciatingly excessive as they thought they must be missing something. But there was nothing. Except for one thing. For all seventy-two hours, my eyes never shut. Not for even a fraction of a second.
I am prescribed a weekly dosage of high strength eye-drops. I must apply them every hour. They must stay on me at all times
Nothing like my case had ever been seen in all of medical history. An adult man would grow insane after 3 straight days with no sleep, but here was this boy, no, this fetus, had not let out a single cry of agony, or made any noise for that matter. With no real reason to keep me institutionalized, other than the scientific interest any medical professional would have with such a rare occurrence, my mother and father were allowed to check out with me and start their beautiful family. The first thing I ever saw was not the tired, blanched face of my mother, but the lifeless, blue scrubs of an obstetrician. Although his face was completely and utterly shielded from both the elements and facial examination, his eyes showed his horror and worry. Every doctor in that room was prepared to give my parents the dreadful news of my all-too-soon death. By all medical standards, it's a miracle I hadn’t been pronounced dead only a few hours before my birth, Although my life wasn't lost that day, something else – maybe something of much greater importance – did escape from me. Part of my sanity would be permanently stripped of me.
My mothers name is Roe Schmoe. My Fathers name is Joe Schmoe. They died 23 24 25 years ago.
The first few nights for the newly completed schmoe family was fairly normal, some would even go as far to say heavenly. To any parent – especially my 32 year old, highly inexperienced mother and father – A child that makes no fuss is an absolute dream. Quite surprisingly, it took my parents an entire year to realize that I wasn’t sleeping at night. And so again there I was, on that all-too-familiar, white, sterilized hospital bed. My eyes were dryer than prunes. Going so long without any kind of moisture, they were all but entirely destroyed. It's a miracle I have any of my eyesight left, of course my two inch thick glasses do most of my seeing for me. These doctors – although different ones from my first experience – were fascinated all the same. My parents now had a year of experience under their belt and were quite opposed to the idea of testing, especially after the lengthy testing that ensued last time. No form of persuasion led Roe and Joe to change their opinions, and so the saddened doctors were left not with a Nobel prize for the discovery of a new disease, but a hefty check for my eye medication. Over the next years of my life I grew to fear doctors, hell, I still don't trust them. My parents shared this fear and so I never attended any annual check-ups. What do you miss anyways? They take measure you, ask about your diet, then stick you with razor sharp needles. Year after year I was expected to have an uneventful, unwanted, unlovable date with people who see me as their winning lottery ticket. I decided to take a pass on that. For 21 years at least.
I lie awake. I stay awake. I see all.
In school I was a prime target for bullies. To be honest I don't blame them, who would pass up a chance like me? My voice sounded like the all-too-quiet squeak of a mouse. My entire face was covered in puss filled volcanoes, ready to erupt at any given moment. My eyes had nearly sunken into their sockets due to the lack of sleep, and beneath them were ebony black bags of blood and depression. The glasses. Those damned glasses started it all. They started with a classic – four-eyes – and then branched off into more and more creative insults. Zit head, nightwalker, voiceless, crater face, daydreamer, rat, Fuji, 9 to 5, muted. Everyday was another name, another insult, another struggle.
Shadows don’t move on their own. Shadows are predictable. There are no shadowy men.
Keeping my head down for so long, having no one to truly connect with – no one that could comprehend what it was to see through my eyes – it got to me. I never fought back or lashed out, I chose to be passive. It sounds peaceful but it’s no better, in fact I’d argue it’s a lot worse. I didn’t speak to anyone and I didn’t pay attention to anything. Everything – even just existing, making sure to keep myself alive – became a hassle. In my own life I was a passenger, someone just going along for the ride hoping to see the destination. At this rate that last stop was no surprise. I’d be dead.
Count the cash. Fill the till. Lock the doors.
I ended up just barely graduating and getting my high school diploma but to no one’s surprise, college wasn’t an option. My parents weren’t the normal type, I guess it’s because they didn’t have a normal child. Rather than approach me with infuriation and dissatisfaction, they came to me with acceptance and understanding. Don’t paint me the wrong way, I didn’t become a basement dweller because of this although I was still a failure that lived with his parents. I wanted to be better than that. I wanted to do something, anything that would make me a son to be proud of. I had to start from the bottom and it was tough; no matter what anyone tells you, customer service at minimum wage is a grueling task. It’s especially true when your boss takes you to the back every day for talking to a cardboard cutout or even worse, the howling of the wind. It was never fair dealing with what I have to deal with but the truth of life is that it’s not a fair game. I could’ve used it as an excuse and gotten the easy way out. No work, no stress. Just a monthly government check for my “oh woe is me” life story. I wanted to be different, put in every ounce of hard work I possibly could. A few years later, just after my 21st birthday, that work paid off. I got a promotion to assistant manager and with that raise I could finally afford to move out and make a name for myself.
…
I remember the day my parents died all-too-clearly. It was November 31st, just a week after my birthday and a day after my promotion. Joe and Roe were much happier for me than I was for myself. That entire day they grinned ear to ear, so much so I thought their faces would eventually cramp up. My dad called me son instead of John the entire day. My mom called me her young man, all grown up now. They were proud of me and for once I was sure that I was deserving of their love. We went to a small diner outside of town, the Capgras Inn. It was my favorite place to eat out when I was younger. We walked through the glass doors and the place hadn’t changed a bit. The front counter had the same swivel chairs, characterized by their red leather. The surrounding seating was still made up of those small, round, wooden tables, perfect for seating the three of us. The chairs had seats lined with the same red leather and stuffed with what I would guess was nearly forty-year-old and yellowed polyurethane. The fluorescent lighting which would usually be blinding white was so run down that it had become a calm and warming orange. It was nowhere near perfect but that was part of the experience of a mom and pop place, right? I was definitely the child of my parents, we all ordered the exact same thing: a greasy Texas delight. It was a third pound of beef patty with melted provolone and pepper Jack cheese alongside 6 slices of bacon to top it all off. It came with a side of French vanilla ice cream, the best kind of ice cream. There were no toppings of any kind added and as a child I always wanted more. Chocolate syrup, rainbow sprinkles, and sweet whipped cream. I never appreciated the simplicity of the dish until I was older. The IceCream wasn’t some cheap store bought brand, it was always made in house. I could see the work put into the churning, a smooth but crystalline structure embedded into each spoonful. I tasted vanilla of course but there was also a hint of nutmeg and just a pinch of salt. Such small things – details no one would notice – are what make simplicity so beautiful.
Put in the key. Turn on the ignition. Shift into drive.
We were gluttonous in our meal so the walk back to our lotted car was a slow one. Not the kind of slow that’s excruciatingly painful but one that’s savory and heartfelt. It felt how umami tastes, incredible but not perfect, just enough but not too much. We piled into the car. Suddenly that greatness that I felt was oh ever so slightly less than so, just enough for me to notice. My father was at the wheel and we backed out of the lot and rolled towards the highway. He wasn’t the type to fall into road rage but he absolutely couldn’t stand slow drivers. It had just approached evening so no one had started home yet, the streets were empty and free for his speed. As we raced down the road my unease grew. The way my mother held onto the arm of my father helped me to forget for just a moment. I thought that if they couldn’t feel what I did then maybe my mind was just plagued with stress. I had a league of new responsibilities and I couldn’t let Joe and Roe down, not after all I had accomplished. I unbuckled my seatbelt and scooted myself over to the center seat. A better view of the winding mess of asphalt we too quickly sped by. I bumped Into something that shouldn’t have been there. A warm, wet breath creeped down the left side of my neck and for a moment I was too paralyzed with fear to glance up. Honestly I probably didn’t need to, I knew all-too-well what it was. I saw them all over the news, it was that kind of thing that was widespread but you always thought “it could never happen to me, right?” Until it did, and in your naivety – your choice to be unprepared for what you should’ve known to come – you freeze. I stared into what I thought might be its eyes but they were more just deep, sunken, black holes in the center of its face. Maybe it was just the lighting that made it seem that way. It was dark out, the time of day when the world is enveloped entirely in shadows. The head of it was planted against the roof of the car and its long, slender body – all-too-tall for our little cruiser – contorted to the curves of the car. The two of us sat for a moment, or rather what felt like an eternity. We simply stared into each other's eyes. Unblinking. Unmoving. I, waiting for it to do something, anything. And it, waiting for me to drop my guard, even if it was for a moment. It quietly and softly wheezed. The cold breeze from its mouth burned my eyes. I blinked.
Whiplash. Split Lacerations. TBI.
It was Christmas day when I woke up in the hospital bed. The room was that same, blinding, far too pure light. Most would be startled by their new surroundings; although a place meant to be one of safety and comfort, humans can’t help but fear the new and unknown. I, however, was no stranger to these sights: the white sheets, the white lights, the white walls, and the white scrubs. I was no stranger to these sounds: the beeping of the EKG monitor, the matching beat of my pulse, the matching pulse of my mind. And I was no stranger to that face. That nurse — she was young, couldn’t have been any older than me — had trouble hiding her expression. That all-too-familiar awe-stricken look with just a hint of fear. I knew what was to come next, I had prepared for it for the last four weeks. Even in a state of incapacitation, my mind was not given the gift of rest. That realization washed over me in that split second. I had been born with this curse, it was all I had known. I thought I had come to accept it but in that moment I began to wonder: When death comes my way will it force me to lie awake?
My Name is John Doe. I was born November 27th. My blood type is Rhnull.
Only a few moments later and the room was overcrowded. Well, it was only four people really, the young nurse, the head doctor, the chief of police, and myself. But that’s still far too much for a hospital room.
”uhm.. w-what day is-“ the young nurse started, but she was quickly pulled away by the head doctor. She hid herself in the corner of the room and the doctor began where she had left off.
”Could you tell me what day it is, sir?”
”Must be Christmas, look at all those lights” I said as I gestured towards a window on the right of my bed. The streets were flooded with red and green lights and covered in a thick layer of snow.
”Good eye.” He checked something off of a sheet of paper attached to a clipboard, maybe a confirmation of my health. Eyesight and memory maybe.
”How old are you?”
”Just turned 21”
He checked something off.
“What city are we in?”
”Anytown”
He checked something off.
”Can you remind me what your name was?”
”John Schmoe”
He checked something off.
The chief of police was on the right side of my bed, opposite the doctor. He slowly got down to my level, making sure our eyes met. “John” he started, his tone was a bit more serious than that of the doctor, “can you tell me what you can remember about what happened?”
I’d been asked this kind of question before, usually at my old school's main office. At least once a week someone would take the bullying too far and administration had no choice but to do their jobs for once and get involved. “John, could you tell us what happened?” That’s how they’d always start. My answer was always the same, that I could. Of all the terrible things my condition has forced me to deal with there is but one upside to it all: a photographic memory. I mean, it could be something separate. My life is agonizing but I also remember everything I see, I do like to think that they’re connected. I feel as though the unblinking of my eyes allows me to see details that others can’t in those split seconds. Subliminal things that in the end don’t matter but as a whole let me see the full picture.
“We were at the Capgras inn, a roadside diner just a few miles out of town. We were celebrating my promotion and birthday. After that we got into the car, no one was there but us but then…”
I needed a moment to collect my thoughts, I didn’t want to remember that thing or what happened.
“One of those… things. Y’know the ones all over the news right now? I think they’re called stramonium or something. It was just there. I don’t know how it got there or what but I’ve seen what happens. They’re merciless, it’s damn horrific.”
The chief chimed in, “Before you continue, would you mind telling me where everyone in the car was seated?”
“Uh yeah. I was in the left back, mom in front of me, dad in the driver's seat and that monster right next to me.”
“Interesting.”
“Right, well as I was saying I was scared as all hell, couldn’t even move or scream or breathe for a solid minute. My parents didn’t seem to notice it which was good, this one seemed to be the type that reacted to sudden movement. It didn’t do anything for awhile, neither of us did, but at some point my body had to succumb to the urge to blink. So, well, I did.”
I see the world in a way that makes it so I'm not all there, yes, but I’m not some helpless animal. I clawed my way into the world, sinking my talons deep into the earth so that its furious winds of tribulations do not knock me down. In other words: I’ve come up with ways to (sometimes) tell what’s real from what’s not. Fiction in all of its forms is always based in part on the truth. No matter what lies are fabricated, whether it be from man or the mind of man, there is always some inextricably small fragment of what is real. For me, I’ve found that faces can tell the true story. One can choose to lie about an all-too-hefty amount of things, but the body never falters. Criminals can be seen doing it all the time. Many have been found guilty of the crime of lying under oath, and in all of those cases they could be observed twitching their left eyebrow when telling a fabricated story. The twitch of the eye, the wiggling of the ears, the flare of the nostrils; these are all ways in which your body screams for help. Even the most skilled of liars know two things: there is the truth and what has been fabricated and only one truly exists. That fact, one so obvious and so small, is enough to make a grizzly man quake in his boots. I tried to find such expressions on the chief but… nothing. There was nothing at all. No fear, no truth, just what seemed to be a blank abyss that stared into my soul.
“Uhm… the rest was all kind of a blur. I acted on instinct, just like it did, it's probably the only reason I’m able to tell you all right now rather than you prying at my blood splatter on the road. It’s not something that I ever really thought about in detail before but I knew that my father kept grilling supplies in the trunk of the car. ‘Never know when you might wanna set up camp’ is what he’d always say. We drive a pretty old hunk of junk, the type of car where you can easily get to the contents of the trunk from the backseat. I contorted my body in a way to reach the back without breaking eye contact and wrapped my hands around the first thing I could. I could only hope that it was the grill fork. I was lucky. I can’t tell you how many times I stabbed the thing, I went until my arms gave out and then I went some more. After that, well, it's just completely blank. I can’t tell you anything else if I wanted.”
Finally breakining that blank startle and showing a face that almost appeared as human, the chief spoke.
“I think I can finish the story for you Mr. Schmoe. You see we found you in the car at the bottom of a ditch. Nearly a drop of a hundred feet; that's a 10 second drop for a 3000 pound car but just enough jostling around to do some real damage. What we believe to have happened was that your father for one reason or a another — pretty obvious now — got startled at the wheel and swerved off”
“w-wait, where are they now? Where are my parents?”
In Loving Memory. Mother and Daughter. Father and Son.

Lower prices on some stuff and added some new stuff I'm looking at selling. Feel free to message me with offers, more than happy to strike a deal if you're buying multiple. Prices should be at or below lowest listed discogs price (with comparable record conditions). Can provide pictures if you need
Currently have cheaper white LP mailers that work fairly well, but I'm waiting on some whiplash mailers to come in soon, so if you'd rather have it shipped out in a whiplash just let me know and know it may be a few extra days before it gets sent out.
$5 shipping flat rate, also have everything on discogs https://www.discogs.com/sellegarrisonrc/profile
**All VMP releases buy one get one 50% off*\*
SOLD - Aaliyah (VMP release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM) SOLD
Sold Alan Jackson ‎– A Lot About Livin' (And A Little 'Bout Love) (VMP Release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Attack Attack! - Someday Came Suddenly - $35- 2020 Reissue, picture disc - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
August Burns Red - Thrill Seeker - $40 - 15 year anniversary, clear w/ yellow and black splatter - (VG/VG+) ~2" seam split in inner sleeve; outer jacket and record are in great shape; played a few times
Sold Black Nasty - Talking to the People (VMP release) - $15 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Blu - Her Favorite Colo(u)r (VMP release) - $10 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Boy Pablo - Wachito Rico (TTL Exclusive)- $12 - Turntable Lab exclusive, red (opaque) (VG+/VG+) minimal shelf wear
Buck Meek - Two Saviors (VMP Release)- $25 - Opened to see contents, autographed front cover by Buck Meek (VG+/VG+)
Sold Chief Keef - Finally Rich (VMP release) - $38 - Unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
The Devil Wears Prada - Transit Blues- $12 - Unopened, unplayed, limited white w/ grey splatter (NM/NM)
Sold Dolly Parton - Coat of Many Colors (VMP release) - $15 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Dungen - II - $45 - limited edition, clear - played a few times, sleeve and record in great shape (VG+/VG+)
Dungen - En Är F​ö​r Mycket Och Tusen Aldrig Nog (VMP Release) - $27 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
(take both Dungen for $60)
Sold Durand Jones & The Indications - Private Space - $15 - Limited edition, red nebula, played once, minimal shelf wear (VG+/VG+)
Echo & The Bunnymen - Songs To Learn & Sing- $60 - 2022 special edition w/ extra 7", unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Fleet Foxes - Shore- $45 - with signed insert, played a handful of times, Red clay marbled variant (VG+/VG+)
fly anakin - Frank (VMP release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Sold The Front Bottoms - Talon Of The Hawk - $65 - played a few times, minimal shelf wear, limited edition Pink/White marble (VG+/VG+)
Sold The Game - The Documentary (VMP release) - $32 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Sold George Strait - Ocean Front Property (VMP release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Sold Goldlink - At What Cost (VMP release) - $30 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Handsome Boy Modeling School - White People (VMP release) - $30 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Harold Alexander - Sunshine Man (VMP release) - $30 - played a few times, minimal shelf wear (VG+/VG+)
Hippo Campus - Landmark - $100 - Limited edition blue, alternate cover , played once, minor shelf wear (VG+/VG+)
Sold Boogaloo Joe Jones- No Way! (VMP release)- $30 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
J Dilla - The Diary (VMP release) - $18 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Sold Jonathan Richman - I, Jonathan (VMP release)- $65 - played a couple of times, minimal shelf wear (VG+/VG+)
Lightnin' Hopkins - Lightnin' Strikes (VMP release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
SOLD Ludacris - Word of Mouf (VMP release) - $38 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM) SOLD
Men I Trust - Headroom- $30 - played a couple of times, limited edition, numbered (VG+/VG+)
Sold MF Doom - Operation Doomsday - $25 - unplayed, minimal shelf wear, standard reissue (VG+/VG+)
Modern Baseball - You're Gonna Miss It All- $45 - played a few times, minimal shelf wear, limited edition Blue Seaglass Wave (VG+/VG+)
My Chemical Romance - Life on the Murder Scene (RSD 2020) - $40 - unopened, unplayed, RSD release in 2020, clear w/ red splatter (NM/NM)
Odesza - The Last Goodbye (VMP release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Of Mice & Men - Cold World- $7 (or free with any purchase over $50) - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Post Malone - Hollywood's Bleeding - $32 - limited edition, coke bottle clear, minimal shelf wear (VG+/VG+)
SOLD Public Enemy - Fear Of A Black Planet (VMP Release) - $30 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM) SOLD
Rexx Life Raj - California Poppy 1+2 (VMP release)- $28 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Loco Roco Original Soundtrack- $30 - Yellow and Pink Opaque - played a couple of times, sleeve and discs in great shape (VG+/VG+)
SOLD Sly & The Family Stone - There's A Riot Goin' On (VMP Release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM) SOLD
Sold Sturgill Simpson - Cuttin' Grass - Vol. 2 (The Cowboy Arms Sessions) (VMP Release) - $25 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Sun Ra And His Outer Space Arkestra ‎– A Fireside Chat With Lucifer (VMP release) - $32 - played once, everything in great shape (VG+/VG+)
T-Pain - Epiphany (VMP Release) - $80 - 2020 reissue, red marble, played a few times, minor shelf wear, in great shape (VG+/VG+)
Teddy Pendergrass - Life is a Song Worth Singing (VMP release)- $20 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
SOLD Tenacious D - Tenacious D (VMP release) - $40 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM) SOLD
Sold Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak (VMP release)- $28 - played once, in great shape, (VG+/VG+)
Sold Three 6 Mafia - When the Smoke Clears (VMP release) - $30 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
SOLD Tom Petty - Wildflowers and All The Rest- $20 - unopened, unplayed (NM/NM)
Sold Tyler, the Creator - Cherry Bomb (RSD 2020) - $120 - played a few times, minimal shelf wear, RSD release in 2020, red translucent (VG+/VG+)

Hi! A lot of you are probably farming materials for Jiu right now, so I thought I’d drop this here to help y’all out 😊
IMPORTANT: this is to level Jiu Niangzi to I3 L60 R15 (maximum everything). You won’t need as much materials if you do not want to level her resonance all the way. Please refer to the pictures 5 and 6 of this post to check the materials needed for each resonance level.
I’ll only list the materials related to insight and resonance:
[1.6 EVENT SHOP]
MATERIALS: - Mistilteinn x3 - Wyrmling Skeleton x8 - Bogeyman x8 - Biting Box x15 - Perpetual Cog x20 - Milled Magnesia x20 - Spell of Banishing x25 - Silver Ore x25 - Shattered Bones x25 - Salted Mandrake (NO LIMIT) - Liquefied Terror (NO LIMIT)
RESONANCE: - Sonorus Knell x5 - Brief Cacophony x8 - Moment of Dissonance x10
CURRENCY: - Sharpodonty (480k) - Dust (540k)
[JIU NIANGZI]
TOTAL COSTS for I3 L60 R15 (insight and resonance costs included):
CURRENCY - Dust: 1344k - Sharpodonty: 1014k
RESONANCE - Moment of Dissonance x15 - Brief Cacophony x30 - Sonorus Knell x38 - Sinuous Howl (Crystal Casket) x6
Now taking into account the materials from the 1.6 event shop, these are the materials you need to farm (THEY AREN’T IN THE SHOP):
[MATERIALS TO FARM - JIU NIANGZI]
INSIGHT: - Page of Mineral Wealth x6 - Scroll of Mineral Wealth x10 - Tome of Mineral Wealth x16
RESONANCE: - Magnesia Crystal x4 - Spell of Fortune x10 - Clawed Pendulum x3 - Winged Key x11 - Holy Silver x9 - Bifurcated Skeleton x5 - Goose Neck x5 - Platinum Ouija x4 - Wyrmling Skeleton x2 - Murmur of Insanity x5 - Serpent Scepter x2 - Watch Core x4 - Fruit of Good and Evil x3
CURRENCY: - Dust: 804k - Sharpodonty: 534k
That’s all, I hope this helps y’all and good luck to everyone in their Jiu pulls 🤗
—SOURCES—
JIU NIANGZI MATERIALS: https://res1999.huijiwiki.com/wiki/曲娘
1.6 EVENT SHOP: https://youtu.be/wogxib5R_UQ?feature=shared

• a nonfiction piece -

The viewing was difficult. The room, shoulder to shoulder mourners, pressed together like too many flowers smashed between glass or the pages of a book, crowded together waiting to see Landon’s body one last time before cremation. The room was full yet quiet, hot yet chilling. The air was stagnant without being stale. Every step felt like a struggle against a thick fog, like there was a chain cuffed to my ankles, pulling me back towards the door. Each step forward felt like no step at all. We did not have to wait in the long line, wrapping out of the viewing room, to see Landon’s parents, but it took us a long time to reach them. Golden light bounced off us through the windows, illuminating things we did not wish to see, things we tend to hide from each other in the dark - knotted hair from days spent in bed, mouths full of spit, swollen crusted nostrils, blood-shot eyes. My husband’s father grabs hold of me and my husband and his youngest son. He tells us he loves us no matter what. He is pleading with us. He tells us we are not alone. We can smell each other’s sweat. We can taste our own tears. These things I cannot forget. These things I will not forget.
I don’t remember the color of the casket, but I do remember all of the red hair. A forest of pinks, strawberries, coppers, oranges, and tarnished rusts. His baby sister sat in her father’s lap, just as Landon had likely done years before. Eleven brothers and sisters in total. It was rare to see them all in a room at the same time, but here they were. They too stood pressed together like weeds between laminate. The youngest colored a picture for Landon. She placed the picture in the casket and waited for him to open his eyes and see it. It sat in his casket beside him. She couldn’t understand. His face wore new scratches. I don’t know if they were from the fall from the water-tower or from days spent lying on the ground. The powder sat fresh on his face, not blending into the once lively skin. Flashes of his father and brother following buzzards to his body plague the immediate family. These things I cannot forget. These things I will not forget.
At their house after the viewing we tried to occupy the younger kids. Two of the elementary-age girls ran out of the front door, I barrelled out behind them. They sprinted down the sidewalk, I followed closely but was fearful I might actually lose track of the older one. The younger was likely just having fun, still innocent and not quite understanding the circumstances fully yet, but the older one was definitely running from something. She is a bright six, harboring a little more darkness than some of the others. I saw it in her eyes that she wanted to run off, that she wanted to be defiant, that she wanted to scream, to fight, but instead of telling them to turn around, I just chased them the other way. The younger one jumped onto the trampoline in the back. I stood outside. “You can’t catch me.” She said. She was right, I was outside of the net, it was a closed-in trampoline, and she was inside. I lurched towards the trampoline, she jumped back and laughed, falling back and then running to the other side. It grew chilly but I didn’t mind. I ran around the trampoline as many times as she wanted. My husband and the older sister soon came around and did the same. All of our noses were red and running, but we were laughing and smiling. We were transported to our own childhoods for a moment, allowing the adult thoughts to melt away, causing us to exist only in this moment with the wind and the trees and the trampoline and the children’s laughter. These things I cannot forget. These things I will not forget.
His funeral was held in a gigantic tent church in our hometown. The church was full. Teenagers made a line down the aisle, waiting to speak about him on the microphone in front of the congregation. At least that’s what we all became, a congregation. His teenage sister joked about his hair grooming routine, laughing and remembering, “Landon has your hairbrush”. Eventually the church leaders and the funeral director grew sick of the teenagers expressing their grief. They cut the line short and turned a young man’s funeral into an alter call. I lost control. I stormed out of the church, enraged at the church leaders, confused by the funeral directors, fearful for the teenagers, and disgusted with God. I waited outside until the service was over. I mourned opportunity. I mourned innocence. I mourned faith. The place he worked, a local restaurant, catered the funeral. There’s still a photo of him on the dining room wall. These things I cannot forget. These things I will not forget.