I have been facing stomach issues for a while after a hour or viral fever, for which I had to take antibiotics. My curent symptoms include diarrhea like stools and some lower rib pain on the left side (not sure if it's related)
I didn't change my diet in any way. I am taking yoghurt and yakult everyday and haven't seen any improvement. On some days I randomly get a good bowel movement. I don't face any nutritional deficiencies (so far as I can tell) and live pretty actively.
Recently I have realised that I have developed allergy to eggs. My lips swell up and my throat gets scratchy. Then a few days ago I had beer after a long time and it gave me almost an anaphylaxis like reaction which subsided after allergy medicine.
I have no idea what is happening to me. I feel like giving up without even trying any treatment. This is just a rant I guess. But yeah if someone has gone through something similar please chime in

I’ve been on MJ for 5 weeks now. I started at 5mg.
Every week I’ve had terrible sulphur burps and even sickness on week 3.
Last weeks shot was better but still sulphur burps and I actually ended up have diarrhoea all week. After everything I’ve eaten!! Even water was coming straight out. This only stopped on Sunday evening and shot day was Monday. No nausea though which was good
Took my shot yesterday from a new pen, and this morning I’ve woken up with no side effects at all. I had a bit of a headache yesterday after taking my shot, but other than that there’s been nothing. Usually I wake up with sulphur burps and a stomach ache the next day, but nothing today.
I’m now worried the pen is defective or hasn’t worked!! Has anybody else experienced this?

Hi Everyone, since 2021 i'm started on this painstaking journey to recover from diarrhoea IBS.
To date, my diarrhoea issue had been fixed but cos I lost a considerable amount of weight, my sugar regulators have gone haywire and I suffer from sugar crashes (episodes of low energy) and multiple hunger pangs.
what I can share so far is:
IBS can be cured.
If you have done a scope and tried probiotics and it doesn't work. try doing a SIBO test and see if you are positive. In my case I also did lactose and fructose test and was positive for both, so I have to go on a no sugar diet.
Going through a course of refaximin will fix your issues it takes about 1-2 mth before you see bowel quality improve and during the first 2 weeks of refaximin you will feel bloated so getting medicine for the bloating helps.
after fixing SIBO the next challenge is to make sure it doesn't come back. So a balanced diet would be good, I highly recommend watching the netflix show - Hack you health : The Secrets to your Gut.
it explains why we have IBS issues and why it's normally coupled with eczema. It also highlights the fact that it's not what you eat but what happens after you eat that matters more. no 2 bodies are the same.
I tried watching it and compared it to Singapore's context:
so in terms of stool testing - AMILI is recognised - it costs about $480 The good thing about it is it's the only report that shows me that I have gut health issues and there are suggestions on what to eat. Without it, all doctors will say I'm fine and redirect me to a psychiatrist. =X
Food recommendations from the AMILI Report is important as in the show, the general rule of thumb is eat a variety of fruits and vegetables and start by micro-dosing... With the Amili Report, I can do it in a more targeted manner + their probiotics ($90 a bottle/mth)
I'm also working with Dr Chia from Gutcare to help me with the symptoms I face as I'm trying new food. I highly recommend him as I've seen GPs, 3 gastro specialist and 2 nutritionists, and most of the time they attribute it to psychiatric issues like stress which we know ourselves it's not it.
Food wise - I'm on a no sugar diet
Safe food - chicken - kai lan - xiao bai cai - carrots - pork broth - virgin olive oil - avocado (but yucky) - small blueberries - up to 8 for me. ( try to get the ones from china) - golden kiwi - tried up to a quarter and no seeds - cucumber ( remove seeds) - barley water (remb to soak and throw away the water and add some ginger) - salted peanuts - baked walnuts - baked macadamia nuts. - brown rice (remb to soak overnight and throw away the water)
my issue with nuts is I tend to get constipated, I'm also tried coconut oil it's makes the food nice but then I will want to clear my bowels frequently (the stool quality is fine) just the urge intensifies
Also I'm on 10 mg of amitriptyline, cos of gut hypersensitivity. I'll share more if people are interested. but the main idea is to suppress the gut-brain signals, it normally becomes a problem if you have stomach issues for more than 6 months and it took me 2 years I fix SIBO...

Throwaway account for starters because my gf follows my other account. We'll I hope she is still my gf. My gf and I 26m have been together for 5 years. Met in college under not the best circumstances but have been really close for the most part. We have been living together for about 3 years now and since we moved in the passion has been drained to ultimately 0. At first it was a slow build where she said she too tired or stomach ache or something. Then turned to more than a few days or weeks without sex. I was aggressive at times and she admit to me sometimes that she would give sex to me just cuz I wanted it. After a while I knew that had to change. And I did I saw I was a huge asshole about that.
Then I noticed we still were having less frequent time in the bed room and it hurt sometimes going for months without it and I felt bad bringing it up but sometimes I'd drink and it would come up in a less than perfect way. This leads to my drinking problem, I use to pick fights get angry and aggressive with her not in a physical way ever but id say some mean and horrible things.
This was another huge turning point and I still try to keep this under control and my gf genuinely says I have improved when I'm under the influence of alcohol. Either way I'm not the ideal person/ partner, which leads to my cheating. We have been on an off with having sex and the fights have been increasingly more and more. Just over stupid things all the time felt like I couldn't catch a break about the minute details of anything I did. I thought I tried everything to spark the passion in the bed room. Gave her space, smothered her, give her gifts and listen to her talk and take her out of little dates here and there. Just nothing seemed to do the trick. I was feeling alone like we were just roommate that slept in the same bed. I brought this up to her on occasion and I felt like I was always getting the same answers over and over again. Her depression or her inability to love was holding her back. But she has been saying this for 2 years now. There was even a point we went 2 months without a single kiss and we have been repeating this cycle for about a year now. I understand it's not a switch to be flipped but it's hard to see her give way more affection to a dog we adopted last year.
About 2 weeks ago I met a girl online and we met up at a hotel half way from mine and her house. This weekend my gf and I had a huge fight about again passion and affection. We both swore this was the big one. but we decided to stick it out. I'm such a fool I kept the talking to the girl online. I really do love my gf but I wanted attention and affection something that was in low supply in my house. Last night, she found on my phone messages from this girl. I admitted what happened and chased her around the house to just stay and talk and she left. She took the dog and left. I feel like such scum. A moment of pleasure thrown away for 5 years of love and understanding. I sprained my ankle this weekend and my gf was at my beck and call. I love her desperately and I don't know where she is at. I feel like such a fool just not listening to her to go to therapy and seek out help and it's too late. At first I was like I see my gf for security scared of the unknown and had questioned if I can truly find someone else. Now that I had that I don't want anyone else. I've been calling her like a mad man trying to see if she is safe. But why would she talk to me I really don't deserve a second thought. If she does read this I'm sorry and I love you. I'm sorry about the pain I put you through I Don't expect forgiveness just want to tell you I'm a coward and I'm weak. You deserve the world of happiness and I doubt I can give you that anymore. I'm sorry.

Hey, everyone. I've been a lurker here for a while and reddit even longer but finally decided to post. I'm a 29M, PNW American who was diagnosed with diverticulitis in April of 2021. My first ever bout was a stomach ache I couldn't kick for about 5 days, got a week of antibiotics and it went away right back to normal. Next bout 13 months later and pretty much the same thing except I went in sooner this time. Keep in mind as this time I was like 26 and 27. Also up to this point I hadn't had much of an education or talking to by healthcare providers on what the condition really is. Fast foward to July 2023 and I have another flare up treated by another week of antibiotics, this time however they refer me to a GI and Surgeon. They go over the options of surgery but I barely listened, surely it was going to be another course of antibiotics and boom I'd be normal as always what a silly little disease.
Well mid March 2024 and I'd been walking around smoldering for at least a month, I'd thought it was just my overall poorer health and getting older. It was also easy to push aside because i was in a race against the clock to secure a job and some money as to not end up on the street. After securing the new job and putting a week or two in I went to ER to get diagnosed with microperforation and an abscessed diverticuliti. This resulted in an 8 day stay being discharged 3/27 with a drain in the abscess and oral antibiotics, along with a scheduled colonoscopy for 5/12 and a lacroscopic lower anterior resection 5/17. I'm on the mend for a bit at home and even have the drain removed, before realizing the infection is taking hold again late April. I get re-admitted 5/1 for about 5 days before being discharged again with oral antibiotics and a drain. Colonoscopy revealed diverticulitis and nothing else special which felt like good news. Right after the colonoscopy but before the surgery I could feel telltale signs of the infection returning again, causing me major anxiety leading up into the surgery. 5/17 and I get the surgery done, succseful removal of maybe 8 or 9 inches of my sigmeud(however you spell it) colon, no complications.
Here I am now 4 days out starting my 5th day of recovery and I feel okay I suppose. Sorry for the wall of text but I've been looking here for tons of info and just silent commiseration figured I'd finally add my story to the well as I sit here awake and scared at night in the hospital. I'd never had surgery or a disease anything like this. Some of the notable wrinkles I'm still stressing over is that I have genital pain, no 'air bullets' and my CT with dye yesterday didn't show a fistula. I'd complained about the genital pain, both admittances and mucus-y urine throughout both, so they left the catheter in a few days. I got it out 5/20. I really just don't know how I'm gonna return to normal ever. This whole thing has been so traumatic and shattering. I have plenty of other things to say, and other parts to this that have added to the major and crushing anxiety and stress. Figured I'd finally just sign up and post, though. To everyone here, thank you for sharing your stories, I definitely used lots of this stuff as a resource to understand what's going on. It also is one if the fee things that makes me feel a little less alone reading all your stories. I think that's it nice to meet ya all.

Hi all,
It's been about 2 months of tapering -> stopping abilify and it was a messed up experience. I have never felt worse in my life.
I started abilify / aripiprazole in addition to my SSRI for depression and anxiety back in 2018 and I chose to stop it this year after discussing it with my psychiatrist. I was on 10 mg abilify -> 5 mg (for 2 weeks) -> 2.5 mg (2 weeks) -> 0 (3 weeks ago).
week 1 off abilify was good, everything is normal, nothing changed. Week 2 I started feeling like I had a bad case of flu (without lung/throat/sneezing/coughing) and it kept going downhill since then up until today(I hope it stays like this, today is the only day since week 2 I actually feel normal)
Throughout those weeks I experienced body aches, sweating, chills, exhaustion, fatigue that only got worse and worse and I could only sleep it off. I felt like depression and anxiety rebounded for a few days but it wasn't my biggest concern given how awful my body felt.
I have no idea if I this was a massive mistake, I feel alright now after being a zombie for the past 3-5 weeks but I still feel on the verge of starting to shiver.
I would not like to start taking this drug again but I just want to know how long this should last.. I'm booking an appointment with my psychiatrist in the morning to figure this out but my god this has been the worst i've ever felt in my life.
I am currently on venlafaxine XR 150 mg and vyvanse 40mg, and I noticed taking the vyvanse just made me feel worse (It was never like this before)
Until I could see my doc, I would like to hear your experiences with withdrawal/tapering. I genuinely hope today isn't a one-off day of feeling okay and it gets better and that I am not messing up anything. Like did I taper it off too quickly? my doc told me some people stop taking it at 5 mg but told me to taper down to 2.5 mg, which I did but I think I missed the last 2 days of that period. I honestly can't believe someone would stop taking it cold turkey given my experience
Side note:
I've had terrible stomach issues that happened after I started abilify and I feel like my digestive health improved immensely. I don't know if it's related to antipsychotics' effects on gut bacteria but I don't feel completely dead after meals like I used to. I still have GERD but I feel like the symptoms kinda improved but I can't tell for sure if it's related to quitting it

So, a little bit of context and important info. I'm 15 years old and my parents are really bad when it comes to my health (gaslighting me, telling me it's my fault, ignoring me, etc.) so I am trying to as much as I can to help myself since it usually takes my parents 3 months to 3 years to agree to schedule an appointment. I have no current diagnosis but POTs and chronic fatigue has been suspected. I have no idea what's wrong with my gastrointestinal system. About two months ago, I started getting frequent nausea + stomach aches. It's getting so painful to eat. I've tried basic meds like pepto bismol but it didn't help. I can't recognize a pattern in the "no" foods, A couple of the ones on the "no" list of that I can remember right now is apples, sodas, burger, lollipop, soup, popsicles, yogurt, pizza, chips, mac n cheese, tomatoes, fruit roll ups, ramen, and oranges. I'm struggling to find food that is tolerable. I can eat oatmeal, most protein bars, those little Gerber baby puff snack things, dried seaweed, plus plain popcorn. Any suggestions on what to try next?? sorry in advance but my list of food allergies are: kiwis, pears, papayas, pistachios, peanuts, fish, crab, shrimp, and potentially pumpkin seeds and pecans. My mom has purposely "lost" or procrastinated bloodwork so idk if there is more.

I started having stool that was fit the description of EPI symptoms back in March. It used happen every now and again but never persisted for more than a day, and was largely due to my diet the night before.
In April, I became aware of how consistent this issue became, and used Teladoc. The provider claimed it might've been H. Pylori since I recently had traveled to NY (I said I ate a lot of different foods; omakase to late night pizza & tacos). Advised me to take omeprazole (Prilosec OTC) since her reasoning was that it'd lower my stomach acid pH and hinder the H. Pylori. 14 days later, nothing changed so I stopped taking it, as advised.
In early May, I visited my PCP. After describing the above, he prescribed me 500mg of ciprofloxacin. I decided not to take it since I was skeptical and surprised that I got prescribed an antibiotic when I didn't even go get any testing done. Got a referral to a GI center instead.
Now in mid-May...my stool test came back negative for H. Pylori and everything else. Only issue was, my pancreatic elastase level was <50 when the normal range was >200, according to the sheet.
Followed-up with the GI center and was given Zenpep, and am currently awaiting an ultrasound.
My question for this community is, do you know what could possibly be causing this low elastase level? I'm at a loss since I have zero other symptoms - I'm not fatigued, nor do I have cramps or any pain, etc. It's just the stool consistency. I also believe myself to be rather "healthy" (late 20's, ran 6 miles in 60 min. flat 3 months ago, I lift 4x a week, eat moderately clean, etc.). This issue literally appeared overnight one day, and never left.
Is there anything that can rule out EPI and/or pancreatitis and other issues? My HMO means it'll take a while in between each imaging order, so I'd rather knock everything out sooner than later. And given the last couple of misses with my prior doctors, I'm curious to see what others think or have experienced.

So pretty much my manager wanted to be petty I was on ship dock working my ass off line loading and I got a stomach ache so I needed to use the bathroom alittlw more. And he’s like no I’m putting u in stow tomorrow so here I am not doing anything dodging tot. This is a bit childish but whatever
I know downvote me I deserve it lol

Hi everyone! For the past year I will randomly get pelvic pain that lasts for the day before disappearing the next. The pain makes it uncomfortable to walk and the slightest movement causes a dull ache, even stabbing at times. I find that my pain happens the most when I go on long walks.
I’ve been doing some research on hypertonic pelvic floor dysfunction and of course the main symptom relates to how I’ve been feeling (intense pelvic pain at random times), but I haven’t experienced any other symptoms such as constipation, frequent urge to pee, etc. I haven’t had sex in ages so not sure if sex impacts it lol.
For as long as I remember I suck in my stomach due to body image issues, I’ve been doing this since I was very very young (I am 21 now). Wondering if this contributes at all?
Not saying correlation equals causation but this whole issue began shortly after I got an IUD.
I know that I can’t ask for a diagnosis or anything, but I just wanted to see if anyone relates to my experiences and where I should go from here. I am going to go to the doctor soon to get it checked out but I wanted to post here in advance.
Thanks a ton.

Good morning,
Yesterday happened as usual, I came to a casino to get MAX up to 3 pints to get through withdrawals and kill couple of hours, because I was very tired at work because of the hangover and because it was weekend on which I drank through. Next thing you know I am in another bar (they are like 25 meters apart, but the second one has better vibe, but full of alcoholics (and I am one of them)). Scrolling through instagram, chatting, feeling sorry for myself, then feeling good about myself because its the last evening I drink right? Already 11pm they are closing and im into my 7th pint (I cant even get drunk till 6th anymore). Instead of getting ok with being bit drunk and went to sleep, I came back to casino got another two pints. Usually I loose my mind after that much pints, well become drunk me, yesterday I was fully aware of what I was doing. Then I met another young guy who had no money but also has drinking problems. I bought him a beer and we became "brothers/friends"... I didnt want to get that tenth pint, so I bought cigarettes, went home and smoked three in a row to get even more f'ed up. Its been like this the past 5 months for sure. and probably since 2023 july month. In that time I quit weed, harder drugs, but my alcohol intake and addiction for it just went through the roof. Now I dont even know why I go to the bar, why do I drink. I don't like these random people, being friends with them, cuz all we have in common is being alcoholics. I am really grateful for the life I have, I do have my own place, some relationships. And I know the longer I go with this streak the deeper the hole will get. I used to be fit, fresh skin, looking young for my age, now Im bloated, eyes swollen, always tired, can't stay still without wanting to puke. Anxiety is through the roof, I cant focus, my job performance is going down. And after all this, admiting this. I still choose booze. My main thing is physicall addiction, when I think that I am not drinking this evening and being in the bed without being f'ed up, my body aches, my stomach gets seizures.
Having a tough of what I have done to myself, the money I spent, the shape I am in now, and imagining the process of getting through withdrawals scares the f out of me. But If I managed to drink for the past year every day, It is my price for it. I've been having problems from alcohol ever since 16 years old. Lost girlfriends, fight with parents, family, lost jobs, lost driving license. But I was never full blown alcoholic, I did my responsibilites as much as I could, I've had some sober streaks. I was heavily into drugs too, which Im refusing now.
Usually im back to drinking on day fifth because of feeling depressed, anxious, sick, tired, panic. My mind tells me then "Why the F I am not drinking??? For what?" And then I go to have those 3 pints again and them I am usually back to making it even worse.
After yesterday, I know there will be no limits, no ending, no last 3 pints. I was waiting for that day zero for the past ten years. And this morning I realised that I can start it, not universe, not spirits, not faith. But ME. My awareness, my brain, my body. I hope I can comment this tomorrow with saying "Day zero / completed"

💤 Ready to decode the mystery of mattress firmness and unlock the secret to your best night's sleep? Let's dive in!

Defining Mattress Firmness

Firmness is about that initial soft or firm feeling when you first lie down. It comes usually from the top comfort layer.
Support is different - it's how well the mattress keeps your spine aligned, which comes from the core layers underneath.
You want a mattress with the right balance of comfy firmness on top and proper supportive layers below.

What is the Mattress Firmness Scale?

There isn't a standard measurement for firmness because every manufacturer is different, and we experience it differently due to our personal weight and build.
For example, a heavier person may sink into a mattress more than someone who is less heavy. However, most manufacturers and retailers use a 10-point scale, which looks something like this:

• 1 Extra Plush - this will sink heavily with touch and wrap around the body
• 2-3 Plush - this will sink and hug the body
• 4 Medium Plush - this will sink a little and contour the body closely
• 5 Medium - this will sink less but still contour closely
• 6 Medium Firm - this will not sink much and contour moderately
• 7-8 Firm - no sinkage and minimal contouring
• 9-10 Extra Firm - no sinkage and no contouring

Why Does Firmness Matter?

You only get one spine, so taking care of it should be a top priority! The right mattress firmness keeps your spine in a neutral, aligned position while relieving pressure on joints and sensitive areas. This allows for the deep, restorative sleep we all need to wake up feeling healthy and rejuvenated. Plus, softer mattresses tend to sleep a bit warmer.

How To Choose A Mattress Firmness?

Try this simple trick to zero in on that just-right firmness level:

• Lie flat on your back on the mattress
• Slide your fingers between your lower back and the mattress surface

If your fingers easily slip through, the mattress is too firm. If they can't slide in at all, it's too soft. You want something in the sweet spot middle ground.

How Can I Tell If My Mattress Is Too Soft Or Too Firm?

If you're having a hard time getting cozy at night, or if you're waking up with new aches and pains, it's possible that your mattress is either too soft or too firm.

What Is The Ideal Firmness For Different Sleeping Positions?

• Side sleepers have a smaller area of their body in contact with the mattress and require proper support for the many pressure points along their body. A firmness level between 2 and 7 is recommended for side sleepers.
• Back sleepers benefit from a firmer mattress that provides good support to the lumbar area, or mid-section, and maintains the natural curvature of the spine. A firmness level between 3 and 8 is recommended for back sleepers.
• Stomach, or front, sleepers need a firmer mattress to prevent their lower back from arching. A firmness level between 3 and 8 is recommended for front sleepers.

A medium-firm mattress, with a firmness level between 6 and 7, is the best all-around option for the majority of sleepers, including combination sleepers, and is a good compromise for couples sharing a bed. This is the standard firmness level used by most hotels, as it is suitable for all three sleeping positions: back, front, and side.

Body Weight And Firmness Levels

Your build can affect the firmness level that you find most comfortable to sleep on.

• Individuals weighing under 130 lbs may find that a softer mattress, with a firmness level between 2 and 5, is the most comfortable for them.
• Individuals weighing between 130 and 230 lbs may prefer a firmer mattress, with a firmness level between 4 and 6, that provides gentle contouring support.
• Individuals weighing over 230 lbs may find that a firm to very firm mattress, with a firmness level between 7 and 10, and minimal contouring, provides the best spinal support.

By understanding these factors, you can better choose a mattress that meets your specific needs, leading to better sleep quality and overall well-being. Sleep tight, Reddit!

Synopsis:
An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger. — Runecrafting is slow burn. — What to Expect: - Weak to very strong progression - Hardcore wish fulfillment - A balance of action, kingdom building, and runecrafting. - MC will trigger an industrial revolution, revolutionize magic, modernize agriculture, communication, commerce, textile production, education, transportation, sanitation, weapons manufacturing, leisure & entertainment, and medicine.
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Chapter 04

-1-
Ethan's heart thumped in his throat as he looked at the arrow's head glinting. Fortunately, Roland had grabbed it in an instant. The arrow hadn't hit Ethan, and it likely wouldn't have. Roland threw the arrow aside as Ethan heard a muffled grunt and glanced out the window to the right. An arrow had pierced the side of their driver, right between the shoulder and chest. Ethan whipped back into his seat just as another projectile smashed against the other side of their carriage, denting it. Roland immediately stood up with a calm demeanor and unsheathed his sword. "Lord Theodore, please remain seated. This inconvenience will be dealt with shortly."
Ethan blinked up, nodded, and clasped his hands around his knee while resting his head against the window ledge as Roland got out. Situations such as this weren't anything he'd ever dealt with back on earth, but he had plenty of experience keeping himself in check when fear took hold. He'd been a boxer, after all. Ethan tapped his finger on his knee, again and again.
"Die, you shits!" a voice yelled, then a meaty crash was followed by a pained groan. It was clearly someone falling over. Moments later, footsteps approached from the other side. A man swung the carriage door open. "Get—"
Before he could say much else, a sword pierced through his chest. He slumped and hit the ground without a word, revealing Roland standing with a blank expression. His eyes were different than anything Ethan had seen since his transmigration—Roland looked nonchalant even after taking a life, which was understandable given that the man had likely taken a lot of lives. Ethan closed his eyes, refusing to look at the dead body.
More footsteps grew nearer. Two sets. They stopped beside their carriage. "Well fuck, what a piece of trash." one man said, then lurched at Roland with a bloody shout.
The fight was over in an instant.
Roland simply disappeared from his position before Ethan. Reappearing behind the two bandits flanking him, he delivered an equally lethal strike to each in turn. Simultaneously, a sharp crackling and whooshing sound made Ethan tense. Spreading out on the floor before the carriage, a dark blue magical glyph buzzed like electricity, sending sparks of electricity slamming into the bandits.
Then, the bandits' bodies split in two halves, their blood sprayed across the dirt before they even began collapsing with electricity sizzling on their bodies.
Just as he'd felt movement in the air through [Magic Perception], a man materialized right in front of Ethan. Tensing, Ethan didn't know what to do
Roland shouted from outside. Adrenaline rocketed through Ethan's veins. Hand moving, he grabbed the bandit's hand and twisted it. The bandit tackled him, and with the tight space, Ethan felt the tip of a knife nicking the side of his cheek. The wound stung badly, and with it, Ethan's mind blanked and his instincts kicked in.
Roland swiftly spun, but not in time to stop the man from pinning Ethan against the bench.
However, it wasn't needed. Ethan used [Elemental Spells] and summoned fire all over his palms. A sizzling sound erupted as the bandit cried out and went for Ethan's eyes with his free hand. Ethan bit the bandit's hand, and only got half a mouthful of skin and cloth. The bandit reeled back and leapt backward from the sudden burning pain, crying out as he crashed. Ethan lunged at him, grabbed and force-flipped the bandit's hand, and plunged the knife into his throat with an aggressive grunt. There was a short, gurgled cry, before the bandit tried swinging the knife towards him. "Cunt... bastard..." his bloody mouth formed the words, his eyes staring fearfully, but Ethan pushed the knife aggressively.
Blood sprayed and gushed onto Ethan's mouth.
Then, finally, the man stilled.
The corpse's weight fell onto Ethan, hot blood spilling out of the bandit's throat and filling the air with an acrid odor. Ethan felt it on his face. Hot. Metallic smell. He saw it dripping down the bandit's throat, all across his clothes, even in his hair. It was heavy, almost. Layer upon layer, the heavy cloak of the man's life weighting down on his spirit.
System notifications flashed but he ignored it given that bile rose in Ethan's throat. His vision darkened, and a rush of blood roared in his ear as his heart thumped like thunder. A violent urge to vomit rose within him, his entire body twitching. He had never seen a man die in front of him like this before. Disgusting as it was, he gulped everything down, even the reality he had found himself in, the death, the violence, it all set in at that moment. However, he had no time to delve on it. Even though he felt like someone had squeezed his windpipe, like a bullet was tearing through his skin, he needed to act. Now.
Ethan flipped the man aside and sat on his knees, pulling out the knife from the bandit's neck. From his place on the ground, he glanced at Roland engaged with three bandits.
One slipped past Roland and made it to Ethan. They're trying to get a hand on me. Why? The answer was simple. Oh, right... I'm a noble, they can just put a knife on my throat and demand shit...
Instead of giving the bandit the upper hand, Ethan took a breath. Once. Twice. Now or never, thinking so, he raised the knife and dove headfirst toward the approaching enemy. Caught by surprise, the bandit merely moved his free hand to counter attack. His fingers grasping the bandit's arm, he twisted it away, giving him room to go straight for the eye.
With a meaty sound, Ethan plunged the knife through the man's eyes. Blood spurted with a slick sound. The bandit wasn't fast enough to make a full reaction, as a sort of instinctive scream of terror got stuck halfway and died out. Then, as the feeling of having ended another life settled within him, Ethan retracted the dagger and stepped back. His back slamming against the carriage, he slid down and pressed a hand against his forehead. His cheek hurt. He smelled sweat and blood.
Fuck... Fuck... Breathe. This is... I can't... Breathe.
A chill ran down his spine and his heartbeat roared. He took a breath, adrenaline still surging through his veins. The sick feeling didn't leave his stomach, his entire body twitched as if electrocuted every once in a while, and his eyes started going hazy, unclear. Black spots in his field of vision. Sticky warmth all over. Hot metallic odor in his nostrils.
"Lord Theodore!" Roland's voice acted as a way for Ethan to reorient himself into reality. Roland looked ashen, not because he was tired but most likely because he'd let Ethan get into such a vulnerable position. Roland glanced at the corpse, then Ethan, then back at the corpse again, looking tense, lips tight and hands clutched into fists. "Are you alright, my lord?"
"Yes, of course," Ethan said as he studied the wound on his cheek. I need a healing skill. However, he noticed the visible distressed Roland was having and continued. "I'm fine. Don't worry. It's no big deal. For the moment, we need to clean up this mess."
Ethan could tell Roland was uncomfortable with the situation and Ethan's complete indifference, but the warrior dutifully obeyed his lord's commands. Ethan slumped onto his seat and looked through the notifications.
Your race, [Human], has leveled up — Lvl 0 -> Lvl 1!
Your class, [Mage], has level up — Lvl 0 -> Lvl 1!
[Unranked Mage] -> [Initiate]
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 5 -> Lvl 6!
A [Quest] approaches!
Hmm, this is the second time I see the message 'A [Quest] approaches'... What is it? Why doesn't the system just give me the [Quest]? Are there conditions? Regardless, it seems that [Elemental Spells] just needed some use in battle instead of just plain old practice. Curious.
Ethan leaned back with a sigh. Now that his heartbeat wasn't drumming in his ear, the fear slowly ebbed away. All things considered, this turned out well, given the situation. However, now that he'd calmed somewhat, his eyes landed on the corpse right beside him, and that fresh scarlet blood seeping into the floorboards. The heavy coppery scent, the unmistakable smell of death. It all came crashing into him and he could no longer deny what he'd done. It had all gone so quickly.
No theatrics, the knife had just flown in, and the bandit had struggled, then stopped struggling.
Ethan stared at the corpses. With his hands on his lap, he gazed vacantly. For a single, stretched-out moment, the only thing he was aware of were the lifeless bodies right next to him, the sensation of having one less enemy standing in the way. One of the bandits had his jugular slashed. Another had a knife poking into his eyes. Ethan had killed them. Him. It was nauseatingly easy, taking another's life. It felt good. Ethan was disgusted at that thought, but damn did it feel good. I—I... I won. He wanted to grin, but he didn't.
Soon, the bandits were dealt with. Not a minute was wasted, and they cleaned up and got moving in a hurry, before Roland could throw the corpse inside the carriage out, Ethan stopped him.
He'd been staring at it, sitting there, silently. Bile would rise to the tip of his throat before he'd swallow it, a stone in his gut making his movements stiff. It felt unreal. When he took that step to make sure the bandit was dead, his eyes met with those of the corpse—with glassy black pupils that appeared frozen mid-realization that he was dying. Fearful, horrified eyes. Human eyes. Ethan stared into them, felt every fiber of his body clench, saw the smears of blood across the man's mouth where his desperate breaths had made him cough up, to live.
Ethan stared, not because he was a masochist or someone who derived pleasure from other people's misery. Rather, it was because he wanted this to never happen again. His reaction. It hadn't been optimal. He just knew he'd need to kill and spill blood if he was to survive, and thus, he needed to familiarize himself with the sight of death—death caused by his hands.
His thoughts were a little less orderly than he liked. That needed to change, fast. It would always be a burden, so he simply chose to stare, knowing he was staring down his weakness—at his fear.
After a solid five minutes, Ethan turned around. Roland's gaze met Ethan's. For a brief moment, the gaze was averted, the warrior showing clear guilt. Ethan placed a hand on the man's shoulder. "Roland, don't blame yourself. I understand you must have felt cornered and unable to react. Just know I appreciate you. Don't beat yourself up for it. There have been no casualties on our side."
Roland bowed his head. Ethan smiled, though it was strained. Roland had been standing there for a while now but hadn't wanted to interrupt Ethan's self-reflection time, despite being tense himself. The guards had burned the corpses. Soon, the men Ethan killed were taken out, too. Then they left for the woods.
A guard who appeared to be a [Mage] that had a spell called [Cleanse] walked to the carriage, and placed his hands near the gore-splattered interior. In mere moments, a rune flickered into existence, then, mana got sucked out of the guard, seeping into the rune—soon, the blood and even the smells were swept clean and everything returned to being a neat and tidy.
The guard staggered a little before his comrades stabilized him. Must be quite demanding, Ethan noted, nodding appreciatively as the guard stepped out of the carriage. "That's quite the useful skill," Ethan said, examining the results.
Roland gave a silent nod, no doubt feeling pretty damn bad about his failure.
The guard, on the other hand, bowed with a smile, clearly appreciating Ethan's recognition. "It's a pleasure to be of service, my lord. This humble guard has had this skill ever since he became a mage."
Ethan made an impressed noise. "I see."
The guard beamed, then bowed even more before walking over to his fellow guards, who patted his backs at a job well done. Then, the horses pulled the carriage, and the carriage resumed moving. As soon as his back had settled into the cushion of the seat, an exhausting wave rolled over Ethan's body.
Before everything, however. I saw the rune. Ethan grinned a little, then willed mana into the shape of the rune.
It sputtered.
Ethan tried again, connecting different parts of the rune. One. Two. Three. Four. And as the rune sputtered again.
Throughout the journey to Deadwoods, Ethan kept at it.
He failed every time—
—and he didn't know why.
An immense headache assaulted him, and he had to stop his attempts.
-2-
The Deadwoods proved to be just what he'd expected. Dead. Charred branches and crumbling trees lay spread throughout. Roland looked around solemnly. Ethan was more interested in what kept this place the way it was. This land was, to put it simply, the most horrific location in the entire barony. It was a huge portion of a forest that appeared to be dead, thus why it had gotten the name Deadwoods.
Leaves crunched underneath Ethan's feet, and he studied his surroundings with morbid curiosity. The trees, branches and leaves were all dark in color as if something had scorched them. Many creatures lived here, animals like the usual game of deer, wolves, and foxes and sometimes there'd even been bears spotted. The dangerous thing, however, wasn't that the animals existed, it was that they were magical beasts. Mutants.
"Lord Theodore," Roland said, hand on his sword, eyes darting around in caution. "It is dangerous to be here—"
"Peh." Ethan waved his hand nonchalantly, much to Roland's shock at such an uncharacteristic behavior. "It will be worth it."
After all, I'm gonna have fun hunting monsters, leveling up, and finally, finally finding some goddamn tree ash.
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[34][F][5'9''][BMI 33][White][GI issues]
PMH includes high Prolactin (45-80ng range), as well as something on my anterior pituitary that may or may not be a cyst, IBS, depression.
Current medications: Welbutrin, trazodone, fish oil, fiber tablets, multivitamin
Social history: don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs
History:
I've had releasing/remitting GI issues for years. I was told it is IBS. It may be, no reason to think it's not.
The past year I've had extreme weight gain (without medication change) of almost 40lbs. Was tested for cushings, cortisol came back normal under 50 with mightnight salivary test. Was told I just overeat. OK fair.
Thyroid tests are fine as of four months ago. TSH is upper limit of ideal but still within normal limits.
Labs for the past six months have shown persist borderline low or low sodium levels despite making sure I have enough dietary sodium. I have never had an issue with my sodium levels prior to this. I crave salt all the time, to the point where sometimes I just take tablespoons of soy sauce. I add salt to my water when I drink it. HDL is low for the first time in my life, LDL/triglycerides are fine. A few months ago my CO2 and sodium were both low with a normal happy anion gap. Neutrophils are often in the 65-75% range. The doctor hasn't been concerned by any of it. I always feel sick (lethargic, GI distress) when I go in/have this blood work done so it's associated with symptoms. I never have any fevers.
Four days ago I had yellow diarrhea. Two days ago it became yellow normal stool but with extreme gastric distension-- I looked four months pregnant. This was accompanied by nausea and lack of appetite. I dry heaved a few times and when I bent over I can feel gastric contents coming up into my throat. However, I never vomited and the diarrhea was only two bouts. I get full very quickly. I also noticed two red lines in my stomach that look veined patterned.
I went to urgent care yesterday and they said I a visible fluid wave but it didn't travel all the way across. They said labs wouldn't come back until tomorrow so I agreed to just wait and see which somehow got entered as me refusing blood work. Today I had a fever of 100.5 which was measured an hour after taking two extra strength Tylenol for a severe headache. Still no appetite although I can eat without throwing up. (I ate a bar of chocolate this morning.) I went back to urgent care, at which time they told me I no longer had a fever and everything on me appeared normal.
They did blood work and an URQ ultrasound. Ultrasound is clear but a big boi for a woman at 16.2cm length. Three yeras ago it was measured at 19cm so this isn't new. Bloodwork was unremarkable except for low chloride (97), borderline low sodium (136) and a borderline high anion gap at 19 (20 is upper limit of normal.) Neutrophils are slightly elevated at 67.1%.
Here's a link to today's labs: https://imgur.com/a/lSRwZSg
Here's a link to some labs that were done in March when I felt sick: https://imgur.com/a/yXCpT67
Significantly, creatine is happy, AST/ALT happy, lipase is happy, white/red blood cells are happy.
But I still feel like something is wrong. I feel sick. I have a fever. I don't understand why I have persistent hyponatremia/borderline hyponatremia, the low chloride is totally new (it was 7 points higher just a few months ago), and my anion gap at 19 is an outlier, historically speaking. I don't understand why my neutrophils are often elevated. The only differential I can come up with is something like Addison's Disease which hasn't be completely ruled out with the cortisol test but I have high blood pressure which doesn't fit at all.
Thank you.

This is a bit of a novel but I wanted to share my experience with my medical abortion, since I hunted so desperately for similar this time last week.

I have some time stamps with the meds/experience farther down if you want to scroll past this stuff. I’ll put it all in bold.

Period late 2 days. Found out I was pregnant last Sunday. My health insurance is in a gap rn so had to pay out of pocket. I was able to get it online. I ordered my two pills from ABuzz, they have a sliding scale if needed be and I had my pills by Wednesday. (Misoprostole and Mifeprostone) They sent all of the information needed and were very helpful. (Came with 1 Mife & 12 Miso)
(In between this, I did go to my clinic out of sheer nervousness and was basically told since my plan was abortion, they wouldn’t give an ultrasound unless it was far later along and I had intentions of keeping or had complications present. Nor would they help me go through with it. I really wasn’t willing to risk this, so I took a blood test that they had offered so I could get my HCG levels. It confirmed I was anywhere from about 4-8 weeks. They recommended I ask planned parenthood for advice/an ultrasound. The soonest ultrasound with PP was about 3.5/4 weeks from then, so ultimately I just chose to trust the HCG levels my primary care clinic provided.)
Fast forward a few days and it’s Friday & I was off work early, so I took the one Mifeprostone at 3p. I continued to run errands. I have a pretty shitty fear of vomiting so I took some Dramamine around 5pm. (I had a zofran script from my primary care doctor but it was sent to the wrong address, so I never received it) I experienced some very mild nausea and hot flash, but I had assumed it was anxiety. Other than this, I was completely fine with no side effects. Enjoyed a night out with friends.
The next day, I ran my errands and got some additional things I may of needed like Gatorade and some extra pads. I experienced some light cramping around 2pm. I was planning to take my 4 misoprostole after 3p (24 hours later), so I took 800mg of ibuprofen at about 3pm. Plans changed so I waited a bit longer, so it probably wasn’t necessary to even take the ibuprofen. I took some Dramamine about 6pm, because I planned to take the miso at 7. Started to spot while wiping at about 6:30pm. I made sure I ate, but again I have a fear of puking so I did safer foods for me like a light noodle soup, butter pasta, apple sauce and sweet potato fries.
Continued spotting when wiping until 8pm.
Saturday, At 8:10pm, I Inserted 4 misoprostole vaginally. Took Tylenol, smoked a tiny bit of weed, laid on couch with heating blanket immediately and started a new show.
Hour 1, 9:10pm, some light cramping, almost felt like the kind when you have to poop.
Hour 2, 10:10pm, tired so took a nap.
Hour 3, 11:10pm, woke up from nap a few minutes after this with some heavier cramping but nothing unmanageable. Went to toilet for first time. When sitting on toilet cramping started back up and I became nauseous and weak. Nearly fainted. I have a history of fainting when pain amps up like this. It’s nothing new, but I just laid down on the bathroom floor. I was in and out of talking to my partner. I dry heaved after about 15 minutes of just laying low and sipping some of my Gatorade. Took Dramamine. Sat on toilet after. Felt a bit better. Still cramping heavily. Loose stool. A dull pain still. Used the bathroom probably about 3x, blood poured out and I also had loose bowel movements every time.
Hour 4, 12:10am, Was still awake from hour prior when I woke up from nap. I took Tylenol at this time. I moved from the couch to our bedroom and went to lay down. As I was walking I became nauseous again, sat down and threw up quite a bit this time. As soon as I felt like I had everything out I was able to sip on some water and lay down. I immediately felt better and laid back down for bed. Put heating pad on my stomach and went to bed. assuming this is when the pregnancy had passed
Hour 11, woke up at 7:30 am, Felt like a million bucks, some light cramping but I slept with the heating pad on me. Went to the bathroom, took 800mg of ibuprofen as a precaution and laid back down. Was lethargic but just watched some tv in bed and hydrated.
Hour 13, 9:30 am, by this time I was up and moving, I could feel blood pouring out of me but the pad was a god send. I ate light food, just crepes and some apple sauce. No nausea thankfully, light cramping.
12pm, about 16 hours later, felt much better. Was still bleeding a bit, but the maxi pad and/or period underwear have been helpful. Lounged around in zero pain.
17-21 hrs later, I ran errands between 1-5pm and just could noticeably feel a large amount of blood pouring out of me when moving.
24 hrs later, 8:30pm, went for a walk around our neighborhood with my S/O and our dogs. No pain at all. I began my birth control again at this time and took that pill.
36 hr, bleeding is lighter, more intermittent but still a heavier flow. Some cramping. Went to work.
48 hr, bleeding like a normal but heavier side of period. Birth control again.
I will say, the only clot I saw was the size of a grain of rice. There was too much blood to make anything out. It was a quick process. Definitely uncomfortable, but nothing unmanageable. The nausea was the worst part for me and it had a very quick onset and was over with quickly. I felt relief after vomiting. Realistically I slept for most of it and the “worst” was brief.
My takeaways from this was really to have someone there if you can. I really don’t like having people around me when in pain or uncomfortable, but it was a god send.
Also, as someone who never uses pads, it was very difficult for me to do so. I found that the disposable period underwear was really helpful. Basically is the same concept as a diaper but shhhh. It was amazing. The larger, more absorbent maxi pads are good too.
Having pain reliever, an anti nausea and a heating pad on hand was also great.
And having snacks that I knew were safe for me to throw up if it happened, which it doesn’t happen for everyone, was super helpful too. Usually I keep some sugary stuff like a Gatorade or apple sauce to keep my blood sugar up but that’s just from my own experience. I believe it’s a side effect from one of the 2 medications and it’s something I already deal with so it was just nice to have a variety on hand in case.
Anyways. That’s the novel. My medical abortion was actually a much more pleasant experience than I had imagined.
I hope this helps in some way! Best of luck with your choices. If you have any questions just let me know, I’d be happy to answer to the best of my ability.

"We're your mates." Mates? Six mates? How could it be?! "Wait a minute... you said all of you. That's not how mates work. Fated mates are two people, not an entire harem." I hissed as I shook my head. "This conversation is ridiculous because it's not real." Silence filled the space between us for several long seconds. "You really want us to leave?" My stomach twisted at his words. We just met, and yet he sounded devastated as he asked the question. I silently cursed myself for causing the change I heard. If I was a better person, I would say something else. "Yes." "Fine, we'll leave, but only on one condition. Buss each one of us. Then, if you feel nothing, we'll walk out of here without protest." ———————— I would die in this very spot, and no one would have a clue. Six hours... I'd been trapped under this pile of random things for six hours. My hips and back ached from how long I'd been stuck in this exact position. I'd tried everything I could think of, but the massive pile of unknown stuff never moved. Something heavy had landed on my back, keeping me pinned face down on scattered newspapers and the occasional book. How did I know there were books when I couldn't see them? Because of the sharp corners stabbing into me. If that level of depressing suckage wasn't enough, I had to pee. My bladder hurt... felt like it was about to burst. Because of course, the first time I decided to drink spirits, I'd end up faced and trapped under a pile of a hoarder's treasure. To relieve some of the pressure off my cheek, I dug my shoulder into the newspaper floor and tilted my head until my forehead pressed against the mess underneath me. The small amount of relief I felt from the change of position was enough to stop me from going insane. For now. Ding dong. "You've got to be shitting me." I grumbled into the ancient newspapers. Someone at the door wouldn't matter. I couldn't get off the floor... erm, pile of stuff that acted as a floor, to answer the door. Whoever was on the other side would eventually think someone wasn't home and leave. And so would my only chance at being rescued. "Ha." I couldn't stop the sarcastic laugh from escaping. Even if they did come in, whoever they were wouldn't want to sign up for this insanity. I didn't even want to deal with this nightmare my life had become. Thanks mom. Ding dong. Ding dong. Who rang the doorbell multiple times? Seriously, just go away and let me die. Sure, I would be in the hall of shame for dumb ways to go, but I'd already accepted my fate. Not only would I die in one of the most embarrassing ways in history, I'd go with the dullest life experiences. Why? Because I'd always done what I was supposed to do... every single expectation my parents had, I jumped at the chance to please them. I was an idiot. A boring, lame, not once destined to save the world, sheltered little girl that grew in an inexperienced woman. My life was pathetic. "Parker, are you okay?" The deep voice sent shivers through me. I imagined this unknown man growling in my ear. Then my senses came back to me. While I was on the verge of being crushed to death, someone had broken into my house. Great, just what I needed. Good luck mister robber. If you can find anything valuable, then you deserved it. The logical side of my brain caught up to current events. First thing, a robber wouldn't call out my name as he broke into my house. Second, I didn't know anyone with a voice so delicious... uh, I meant distinct. Yeah. Should I respond or hope they gave up and left? My mother would have insisted I remain silent. Her voice slid through my memory. "Men were a distraction to a woman's career." I rolled my eyes at the phrase she'd said throughout my childhood and even after I'd moved out on my own. If I was going to leave this world, it would be after doing something ridiculous. I'd call the man with the delicious voice over, then I could die from embarrassment. "I'm over here!" What I'd intended to be a shout came out more as a breathy moan. I barely had room to breathe. It seemed shouting was impossible. A burning hot pain shot through my neck as I tried to turn my head to see the footsteps that approached. Nope, that wasn't going to happen. My mysterious, silver tongued hero or burglar's looks would have to remain a mystery just a bit longer. "Over here!" Just like last time, his voice made me shudder. With a voice like that, the man had to be hot. I hoped he had a beard... and tattoos. Not only would it make my mother roll in her grave, I'd always loved looking at burly, tatted up, bearded guys. Add in hair that was long enough to pull and I couldn't think of a good reason to ever leave the house. The crushing weight finally lifted off me. I sucked in a deep breath, then immediately regretted it as I choked on the oxygen. My lungs seized as the rush of air shocked them. Hands grabbed my arms and shoulders, then the world tilted as they lifted me to my feet. I bent over and grabbed my knees as my equilibrium spun. Hands patted my back, helping me calm. Actually, there were more than two hands. I counted enough to equal three people. When I got my breathing under control, I dared follow the black boots that stood at the top of my vision. My gaze slid up, taking in black cargo pants that rode low on a pair of hips. Further up, a black tactical vest contained... bottles of cleaning solution. What the heck? The moment I went full vertical, my balance tilted again. I stepped back to catch myself. In front of me stood a massive man, the kind I had to look up to just to catch a view of his chin... his bearded chin. My fingers itched with the need to touch it. I didn't. It would be weird to stroke a hot stranger's beard. Wouldn't it? I shook my head. Of course it would be weird. I turned, taking in the four men and one woman standing all around me. The sound of newspapers sliding preceding my right foot slid out from underneath me. The giant of a man caught me before I fell on my hips in front of everyone. They all wore similar black tactical gear with cleaning supplies. Colorful bottles of solution, a duster, a roll of trash bags, and... was that a broom and a mop with shoulder straps? Who were these people? "Parker, are you okay?" The deliciously deep voice asked from behind me. After a few tries, I accepted the fact that I was speechless. My brain nudged at me, telling me I'd missed a crucial detail. Every brain cell misfired as I looked them over again. Correction, five of them wore black tactical gear. Every single one of them was drop dead gorgeous, and it made me feel out of place. One of the guys stood off to the side with his arms crossed over his chest. I blinked. No, that couldn't be right. I blinked again, but the sight stayed the same. A man stood taller than those closest to him. Peeking over his crossed arms was a ruffled white fabric with black lace woven through it and tied in a bow. There was even a small scattering of chest hair sticking over the edge. The hem of the skirt ended well above his knee, revealing a tattoo that covered his entire right thigh. My gaze traveled up to his face. A plush black beard contrasted with the skimpy maid's outfit he wore. "I..." Words failed me again. I gestured to the man whose outfit didn't fit the others. He rolled his eyes as he tightened his grip on his arms. "They thought it would be funny to prank me. Did you know, not only did they buy this ridiculous outfit, they stole the rest of my clothes, so I'd have to wear this?" "Uh, no. I don't even know who all of you are." For whatever reason, it hadn't dawned on me that all these incredibly attractive people were standing in my house. Like inside, where they could take in the horror of what my mother left me to inherit. Mortification slammed into me. They'd seen the awful mess. "You all need to leave." "Parker?" The burly man's voice from behind me caught my attention. He waited until I turned around to continue. "You don't remember asking us to come here, do you?" Ice slid down my spine. I'd been pretty drunk last night, but since I'd never had spirits before and I'd decided to take shots of everything in my mother's 'social hour' cabinet, I wasn't even surprised I'd woken up with a hangover. "How much did you have to drink last night?" "Seeing how I'm awake now, apparently not enough. Who are you, and how do you know me?" The man bared his teeth at me, making a sound that I could only describe as a hiss. "Never again. From now on, if you need something, you ask us." I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. "Why would I ask you anything?" "Because we're your mates." Hard stop. Mates? A giddy feeling in my belly told me he didn't mean a friend. I held a finger up for him to give me a minute. A sharp pain slid through my abdomen, reminding me I had yet to relieve myself after my drunken night of mistakes. One of the other men spoke up. "I know it's a lot to take in, and you're probably really confused, but we are all your fated mates." I'd read enough werewolf romance novels to know what they meant, and they were dead wrong. Shifters weren't real. "Yeah mate, tell us what you need, and we'll get it for you." "I need to pee." And with that, I stomped out to the nearest bathroom and locked myself inside. Why wouldn't the ground open and swallow me whole? I sat on the bathroom floor with my back propped against the wall and hugged my legs to my chest as I rested my forehead on my knees. Not only had people witnessed the horror I lived in, but they had to be the hottest people in the world. Even the woman had made me look twice and left me shoving a deeper desire I refuse to even consider right now. Knock, knock. "Parker?" It was the giant of a man's voice. Why couldn't they leave so I could be alone? "Go away." I heard sounds on the other side of the door that sounded like he'd sat on the floor. "Come out and talk to us." I pressed my forehead against my knee harder, trying to ignore the giant bearded intercourse god. "Or, just talk to me. We're worried about you." My chest seized as I forced myself to take a deep breath. Irrational anger surged inside of me. Why didn't they understand I didn't want them here? "You don't even know me." The sound of his deep chuckle sent a warm wave of desire through me. Stupid hormones. "Twenty-four hours ago, I would have agreed with you. After last night, I feel like I know you on a level most others never will." What did I do last night? I still couldn't remember what I'd done. I swore to myself I'd never drink again. "It was all lies." "Why are you trying to push us away? What would be so wrong with letting someone in to help for once?" Memories of my parents’ fighting came back to me. It was my tenth birthday. When my dad found out my mom bought a cake for my birthday, he'd attacked her. Everything was a blur until he'd pinned her against the wall. She held a knife to his crotch and threatened him. He'd left and never returned that day. My mind shut down, preventing me from thinking about it any longer. "Because I can't afford to pay you and no one does anything out of the kindness of their heart." I couldn't keep the sarcastic tone out of my voice as I said it. "Parker, you're missing a vital part of this dynamic." Silently, I chanted over and over for him to not use the word mates again. It couldn't be real. Paranormal romance novels weren't real... neither were shifters nor the perfect person walking into my life and devoting themselves to me. That was a fairytale, not reality. "Mates. Just to see a smile cross your lips, I'd clean this entire property. Throw in the others, and we'd do anything to see you happy." He tapped something on the door. "I can scent your annoyance through the door." "Wait a minute... you said all of you. That's not how mates work. Fated mates are two people, not an entire harem." I hissed as I shook my head. "This conversation is ridiculous because it's not real." Silence filled the space between us for several long seconds. "You really want us to leave?" My stomach twisted at his words. We just met, and yet he sounded devastated as he asked the question. I silently cursed myself for causing the change I heard. If I was a better person, I would say something else. "Yes." "Fine, we'll leave, but only on one condition. Buss each one of us. Then, if you feel nothing, we'll walk out of here without protest." I banged my head on my knee. That wouldn't work. They weren't even in the room with me and I already felt things. No way could I buss even one of them without having a reaction. "No." "Is that because you already know what I'm saying is true, or are you just being stubborn?" Before I could think about why he had said it, I jumped up and threw the door open to glare at him. "Are you always a jerk?" The confidence disappeared as I looked up into his eyes. He grabbed the doorknob and pulled it closed behind me, pushing me against him in the process. His gaze locked on mine as he lowered his head until we were almost bussing. "Never, but I'm not above riling you up to help give you the boost you need to confront a situation with confidence." Now that he was so close, I couldn't remember why I'd locked myself in the bathroom. Everything around us disappeared except the door his hard body pressed me against. His free hand caressed my cheek. "Can you genuinely tell me you don't feel the bond trying to form between us?" I clamped my jaw closed. If I didn't admit it out loud, then it wasn't real, but he was right. I could feel a... connection to him and the others. It didn't make sense, and I might not want it, but was most definitely there. His lips brushed against mine ever so slightly, sending a wave of fire through me. I gripped the straps of his black tactical vest to pull him closer, but he didn't budge. He chuckled as he moved from my lips to my ear. "Mate, if I buss you, I won't stop until you're mine. It might not be today or tomorrow, but I will claim you and make you mine." "And if I say we're not mates?" "Your mouth might lie, but your body and soul can't." I heard him inhale deep at my neck. "I can smell your need to claim me. It fills my senses until it's all I can think about. I've just found you and already you've consumed my entire world." It was bizarre, but I completely understood what he meant. Somewhere deep down inside of me, the idea of kicking out even one of them left me feeling raw. Six mates... and one of them was a woman. I'd known I was attracted to both genders from a young age, but I'd always locked that part of me away. My mom flipped at the idea of me dating a single man. I couldn't even fathom how hard she was rolling over in her grave at having six lovers. It was so much to process. "Come on, let's go back to the others." His voice pulled me back to reality. "Not yet." Suddenly, I didn't want to move. When I felt his body pull back, I gripped his vest tighter. My gut twisted as I decided to throw a lifetime of caution out the window. "buss me." He growled deep in his chest as his hands slid down my sides until he cupped my hips. A squeal of surprise escaped me as he lifted me up, then held me against his chest as he pressed me against the door. "You're mine... ours." Then his buss consumed me, mind, body, and soul. It felt as if our life forces bonded together. The mere thought of letting go of this man became too much. It was in that moment I realized I'd screwed up. I'd never be able to give him up, or the others, without ripping my own heart from my chest. I regretted so much in my life. What was one more? I sank my hands into his hair, gripping it at the roots, and tilted his head back. Our buss broke. A smug satisfaction slid through me when I realized he was breathing as hard as I was, but I wasn't done throwing out stupid rules my mother had forced on me. I pulled his head until I'd exposed his neck. The edge of a tribal tattoo peeked out under his shirt. I trailed the tip of my tongue along the dark lines, then bussed a trail along his neck. He moved until only one hand cupped my hips. His other hand caressed the back of my neck, urging me to do whatever I wanted to him. I tightened my legs around his waist, lifting myself higher as my busses moved along the edge of his beard. "That is hot." Another man's voice made it through my lusty fog. "Yeah, can't wait until it's my turn." Someone else said. I pulled back and realized my five other mates were watching us make out. All of them had a hunger in their eyes I'd never seen before...

Like the title says 9 weeks and miserable. I don’t leave bed unless to use the bathroom or throw up. My stomach hurts all day the worst stomach ache ever. Then I get nauseous and puke. The throwing up has gone down from 20+ x a day to like 4 which has been amazing. But I’m still miserable. And my husband just doesn’t get it. I find myself wishing I wasn’t pregnant which is terrible and makes me feel so guilty. Someone please help me

I don’t have any plans to kill my self, just want to vent.
As the title says, its consumed me. Suicide and this over powering darkness has truly consumed me, I feel that in a way, I have become it. My mind is obsessed with the thoughts of killing myself, it’s all that I think about now and I get closer and closer to accepting that this is my fate. I am religious and believe in God, and as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder for me to hold onto my religion. I am becoming weaker and growing more miserable. I am filled with so much misery and hatred towards myself, that I’ve only felt for my entire life. It’s so painful to live as someone that you despise, someone that makes you feel sick to your stomach to look in the mirror at. I am invisible and I don’t matter, I am someone who is always put second and someone who is without love. I am without affection and without care. I am someone that is never considered. I get hurt and I am to heal my wounds while the people who hurt me only gaslight me into apologizing to them instead. It makes me feel worthless. I feel as if I am someone that doesn’t matter. And part of me thinks of myself as a young girl. At that age I was so bright and creative, I was filled with so much light and care for those around me. But I’ve become someone different. I’ve become someone that doesn’t long to make her dreams come true because I don’t believe they ever will. I am being taken advantage of by my family, while I have tried so hard to create a great future for myself as I come from a poor family I realize that I will never accept poverty. My family take advantage of me. We have about $20k in rent and my older siblings don’t help. I have to spend all my money to dig us out of a hole that dirt keeeps falling into. My credit is ruined because of a poor cycle of generational poverty. It gets passed down and passed down. I was born to help my family survive while all the while this makes me want to die. I don’t know why my life has to be this way. I also have health issues. I just look at it. Health issues, poor, invisible. And I wonder why? Is it bad to compare to those who have better conditions in life? But it’s so hard to see others have it easy when sometimes you don’t have money to eat. Deep in my bones I want to die. I pity the child that I once was that was filled with dreams. I pity her because I don’t think she will achieve those dreams. I think that this has consumed me, I think that I won’t even reach 30. I even made my mom a legacy contact on my phone so she can have all of my pictures. I think that some people are not made to live. I think some people like myself may be weaker and can’t live. I don’t think I am suited for life.

I want to thank Meatcanyon and Wendigoon for starting Creepcast. I've played around with writing horror, and here is my first short story. I will post it for free in a few other places to see what people think. Please enjoy!
A Hike to Remember
By R.L. Oclen
Chapter 1
A woman sits with hastily pulled-up fire-red hair in the waiting room of the state patrol station. The procedurally sterile off-white walls and decade-old magazines do little for comfort. With her head hanging low, her shoulders pushing forward, and her boots rapidly tapping on the floor, something has to give.
"Please just let her be okay." The woman growls as a pair of officers come in from the field. The officers' demeanors quickly change when they see the familiar face.
"Tabitha, did Officer Nichols call you?" one of the state patrol officers asked sympathetically.
"Yes, he asked me to come in and pick up a few things," Tabitha said, shooting back a muted look.
" I'll let them know you're here." The officer said, nodding to Tabitha as they passed the security door. Tabitha leaned back against the hard plastic chair, staring blankly into the fluorescent light. She had done this dance in the macabre repeatedly over the past month. The last image of her younger sister, Lisa, still burned in her mind. Tabitha had always been protective over her younger sister after their parents died. A pang of guilt shoots through her chest as she thinks about her and Lisa's argument.
"Tabitha Hymm, Officer Nichols is ready for you."
"Okay," she stood up, shaking off her guilt, and followed the officer back. The familiar surroundings of the state patrol station blurred as Tabitha stared forward. She followed the officer as they came to a rustic wooden office door, which was embossed with "Officer Nichols."
The escorting officer turns the old brass door knob. "Sir, I have Tabitha Hymm here." A grizzled West Virginia Highway State Patrol veteran sits behind the desk and nods. The escorting officer steps aside, pushing the door open as Tabitha pushes past him and slumps in the awaiting chair like so many times before. An uncomfortable relationship had formed between the two, born out of necessity and duty.
"Cup of coffee?"
"No thanks. Let's just cut to the chase. You don't have anything new?"
The worn laugh lines and Officer Nichols's face flattens. His eyebrows contour sympathetically as he shakes his head.
"Tabitha, I don't have anything else new for you. I wanted to give you the clothes returned from the lab." Her face darkened at the same response she had heard many times.
"As we discussed two weeks ago, there is nothing new and no signs of struggle or foul play," Officer Nichols said while placing a box marked evidence on the table and sliding it forward. Tabitha began to weep at the realization of Lisa's clothes in front of her. In a coordinated queue, Officer Nichols brought out a box of tissues. Reluctantly, Tabitha took a few moments to unblur her vision.
"How does someone stop their car in the middle of the Remington West Virginia State Park, lock it, and then walk into the woods?" Officer Nichols clasped his hands together and sighed at her worn question.
"Tabitha, I wish I had an answer for why your sister stopped her car in the woods and simply walked off. We're still going through her cell phone, but no signs exist that anyone forced her. On that Tuesday morning, she pulled over to the side of the road, secured her car, and walked away." Officer Nichols said empathetically.
Tabitha became stoic at the same explanation she had heard many times before. " So what next?"
"You should go back to Ohio, and I'll contact you as soon as I have more information." She winced at Officer Nichols's words. Reality began to pull at her that bills and work wouldn't wait much longer.
"If I leave, she's gone for good."
" You staying won't bring her back." Officer Nichols said sympathetically.
" So is that it? She's just gone?"
" Tabitha, I'll be honest with you. In cases like this… when people do things like this. Recovery is harder in the spring due to the weather and the animals. You know her mental condition better than I do. I can't explain why she did what she did. But until I find a solution, a suicide note, some intention, or body. She's not here. Tabitha, I'm-"
" Don't you fucking say sorry!" Tabitha stood up, screaming at Officer Nichols, throwing the plastic chair backward against the wall. " I should just look for myself."
"No!" Officer Nichols said momentarily, gripping the desk as his face hardened, then relaxed. Tabitha was caught off guard by Officer Nichols, who was normally composed. "Tabitha, I know this is unbearable. I've sat on this side of the desk and had these conversations. Trust me; I need you to be safe if I need your help later."
Tabitha nods, knowing Officer Nichols is right. She reaches down, picks up the evidence box of her sister's belongings, and leaves.
" Tabitha, if you're heading home, don't stop your car; just keep driving." Tabitha stops to look at Officer Nichols, feeling an eeriness to his words.
" Goodbye, Officer Nichols," Tabitha said as she closed the rustic wooden door behind her. She counted the tiles as she exited the West Virginia State Patrol Station. Placing her sister's belongings carefully in the back seat of her Jeep, Tabitha then sat momentarily behind the steering wheel, staring at the emblem. The familiar numbness washed over Tabitha as she pushed the start button. She pulled onto the highway, driving to the motel that had been home for the last month or so. Muted pop music accented the drive back as her mind raced with questions. Once inside the two-and-a-half-star motel room, Tabitha sat her sister's belongings on the corner table, crumbled onto the bed, and cried.
***
Tabitha wiped the steam from the slightly spotted mirror above the bathroom sink. The hot water from the shower felt good and loosened some of the stress from her body. Looking back at her, Tabitha's face was framed by damp curls around her shoulders. Her face marked the stress of the past month. Frowning, she examined the bags under her eyes; sleep had to come tonight. Walking into the living area, She changed into her favorite gym shorts and oversized sleep shirt. The alarm on her phone flashed "7:00 am," so she could drive home five hours after breakfast.
Tabitha hated feeling comfortable in this once strange room, but falling asleep was getting easier now. Her eyes closed slowly as the ceiling fan droned evenly. At first, nothing came in her dreams, but she let her guard down and slipped further into sleep.
As she dreamed of floating overhead like a bird of prey, Tabitha soared over the vast Remington National Park. The high noon sun bore down on the crisp woods, perfectly contrasting sky and forest. The heat of the sun felt good on her feathers. Distant cries rang out through the dream-like forest, catching her attention. Tabitha tilted her wings toward the screams, feeling a sense of familiar curiosity.
She now recognized the sobs and cries for help as she flew closer, her sharp eyes locked on her sister leaning against a large oak tree. She glided overhead without care, examining the situation below. Lisa clung to the tree, her eyes darting back and forth, scanning upwards. Lisa's face reflected desperation, looking for help in any direction. Tabitha lazily circles Lisa several times before perching on a sturdy branch higher in one of the oak trees. She watched Lisa intently with hunger. She bellowed deeply, hearing the unnatural sound she made, catching Lisa's eyes. Lisa's expression changed; she became calm, almost uncaring, as she stared back at Tabitha's form. Hunger grew exponentially in Tabitha as she spread her large wings. Her large eyes gaze down at Lisa before diving straight for her sister.
Tabitha jolts awake to the alarm on her phone flashing "7:23 AM." She breathes in sharply, shaking off the last horrible thoughts from the reoccurring nightmare. The strange details become more vivid each time. The lingering memories of folk stories her mother told sat in the back of her mind. In those stories, the dead would reach out in dreams as a matter of warning. Leaning back on the headboard, she searched for the advice her psychologist gave her. During their last session, Dr. Ryland explained dreams are a form of self-actualization of guilt. He told Tabitha that it was natural to feel responsible when losing a loved one in this manner.
Tabitha grumbled, lightly running her hands through her red hair; she pushed everything to the back of her mind. "Get it together!" She grumbled to herself. She pushed herself off the bed and got ready to leave. It was going to be a long trip home, and the only thing she could do now was leave things in the authorities' hands. Packing up was pretty easy since she only cycled through the outfits she brought. The local laundromat must have made a small fortune off her. Tabitha took one last look at the box of Lisa's belongings before throwing them in her duffle bag. She was thankful she didn't have to spend another night in this room.
***
Tabitha sat behind the wheel, waiting for the 90's model minivan to finish their order so she could grab a breakfast burrito on the way out. Considering the situation, the Deer Stop Family Restaurant did have a good breakfast. Finally, pulling up to the 70-style drive-in board, Tabitha rolled off the order she had been accustomed to. " I'll take a large iced tea with the double breakfast burrito meal and hash browns, please."
" Would you like some happy hot sauce with that?"
" That's fine, and a few ketchup packets as well."
" Your total is $8.79. Please pull around."
She pulled around to her window, flashed her debit card, got the receipt, and waited for her food. Luckily, the young woman serving her wasn't very talkative in the morning. The last thing she wanted was a conversation about the weather or meaningless small talk.
" Here's your large iced tea and breakfast meal. Ketchup and happy hot sauce are inside."
" Thanks," Tabitha said while mustering her best fake smile. The woman only smiled and nodded as the service window automatically closed. She pulled into the parking lot and dug into breakfast. Turning the radio to the weather, Tabitha sat back and enjoyed her meal. The local DJ read through the headlines, making nonpartisan comments about politics and grumbling about improving the economy. Tabitha powered through the updates of the "out-of-state woman" who'd gone missing. It was nice that the local radio station gave Lisa's name, description, and a missing person's number for sightings or leads. Tabitha even interviewed with the local news and radio stations, hoping it would bring Lisa home. But she soon found all it brought was a sorrowful look from the locals as she interacted with them in her day-to-day life.
Finishing the last of her hash browns, Lisa wadded up everything in the paper bag and threw it in the back seat. The 9 AM weather report said it was nothing but clear skies and sun the rest of the week. Tabitha flipped the radio over to the greatest hit station, pulled out of the parking lot, and began her trip home. She memorized the roads, every bend and turn in the early weeks as she frantically looked for Lisa. There's something hypnotic about the trees: the way they flow together. The trees' green tops and the oak trees' wide trunks were a relaxing view. Tabitha enjoyed the lazy s-curves of the road, bending and winding around the hills and the trees. The occasional farmhouse or field dotted the sides of the road as she made her way to the main highway.
The blur of a semi-truck snapped Tabitha's attention as she pulled up to the mouth of the highway. She had four and a half hours ahead of her, which would be a long ride. Tabitha pulled onto the highway and picked up speed, noting sparse traffic. She relaxed into her seat, letting her gaze gloss over the blur of green foliage. Without warning, Tabitha caught a large shadow from the corner of her left eye. When she registered the black feathery form, Tabitha tensed up and slammed on the brakes as it swooped across the vehicle's hood. Quickly, she pulled the car safely off the road. She couldn't determine exactly what it was, but it was bigger than any bird she'd seen. It was a bird, right? Tabitha turned off her Jeep and grabbed the keys and cell phone. Standing before the Jeep, she looked over the grill to see if she made contact with the entity.
Bewildered, she scanned the tree line, spotting something in the distance. Sitting in the clearing of the large oak forest was an enormous black owl. It stared intently at Tabitha with bright, shiny yellow eyes. She pushed the lock button on her keys, causing the jeep to beep securely. She turned, looking across the open field, an enormous black owl perched in the upper branches of an old oak tree. Each step she took away from the road piqued her curiosity. Soon, Tabitha stood in the middle of the open field, staring intently into the eyes of the enormous owl.
The horn of a passing semi-truck blared, pulling Tabitha's attention away from the mysterious large creature. She looked back and saw that she had walked farther away from the Jeep than she had thought. She glanced back to the forest line only to see the enormous owl was deeper into the woods than before. She narrowed her vision to find the two large, bright yellow eyes staring back. Had it moved? The day's stress, care, and worry suddenly poured out of Tabitha. It was replaced by only curiosity and overbearing tranquility. She warmly smiled for the first time in months as her feet pulled her further into the woods.
Chapter 2
The tug of gravity pulls Tabitha to her senses as her body reacts, falling forward. Her arms thrust forward, bracing for impact. Water rushes around her face as she struggles to get her bearings. Quickly, Tabitha pushed herself up in the ankle-high stream she fell in. The haze slowly clears from her mind as she stares at the muddy water. The dull ache throbs up her legs. Tabitha can smell the sweat from her clothes. Her face contorted in panic as she quickly stood up in the water, looking for her cell. Thankfully, the device was still in her pocket, dry and unscathed.
"One o'clock. How can that be?" Tabitha says, slowly looking up from the screen to see the vast, dense West Virginia forest encompassing her view. She shakes her head back and forth with disbelief. A smile gently spreads across her face, with the last bit of tranquility leaving her body. How did I get out here? Her breathing becomes faster as her pulse begins to quicken. I'm in the forest. I'm all alone—just like Lisa!
"NO, NO, NO, NO! THIS FUCKING CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!" Tabitha screams into the void of trees. Her eyes well up with tears as she crumbles to her knees, gripping her phone tightly to her chest. Her sobs ring out through the thick oak trees. Her breath slows a little as she regains her composure. She begins to search her mind for anything. What is the last thing I can remember? The image of the black shadow crossing her vision while driving flashes into her mind.
"Okay, I got out of the Jeep, the…then what?" Tabitha says, trying to refresh her memories. She thinks her memory is not just gone; it's a black void in her mind. Complete blackness fills her mind right after remembering locking the Jeep and then turning to see the…
"Fuck I saw something. What was it!" Tabitha says, frustrated with her mind. She knew there must be a logical reason she was out here. Officer Nichols warned her not to go looking for her sister. She wasn't stupid; she just said that as a last-ditch effort to get him to do anything. Now I'm here.
"Run!" Tabitha heard Lisa's voice in her ear. Before she could turn around, she heard a loud bellowing coming from overhead. Fear shot down her back, reminding her of the nightmares she had over the past month. She shot forward full bore as something crashed to the ground behind her. Glancing back as she ran, a black mass of feathers convulsed between the broken branches of the trees. Its slick black feathers rippled across its surface as its bones crackled and flesh tore. Its body contorted and twisted from the shape of an owl to something bigger.
"Run, Tabby! Don't let it catch you!" Tabitha pushed forward, hearing Lisa's scream beside her face. Her breath burned in her chest, and she moved past the old oak trees bent over the creek bed. Her feet slammed rapidly, splashing along the side of the creek. Another loud bellow comes from behind as the trees bend and break to the force behind her. A small opening in the rocky creek bed catches her sight from the left. She dives into the crevasses, not caring where the fathoms lead. Tabitha tumbles in the pitch black, taking scrapes and sharp jabs from the rocks as she tumbles further into the void.
She finally tumbles to a stop on the sandy, wet floor of the cave. Her body aches from the sudden burst of exhaustion. The cool water running around her body from the creek is soothing despite her bumps and bruises. Pushing herself up, she scoots out of the water. Feeling her way forward, she finds a dry spot to collect herself. Quickly pushing her hand into her pocket, she finds her phone undamaged.
The sound of footsteps pushing against the creek fills the void around Tabitha as the light steps move closer to each other up the underground creekbed. She slowly removes her cell from her pocket and then shines the camera light toward the sound. A pair of scratched and bruised pale bare legs hold up a frail form in front of her in the creek. She wears the darkness as a shroud with nothing else to clothe her. Tabitha froze, not wanting to shine the light further in the pale form before her.
"Tabby, turn your light off. You need to save your battery." Tabitha turned off the light and then rushed forward, embracing Lisa—the how or why didn't matter, only the now. The pale form hugged her tightly. Tabitha felt her cold, bare skin. The darkness couldn't hide the feeling of the marks across her back and torso.
"Lisa, I'm-"
"Hush! I don't have much time. This wasn't your fault! I'm with Mom and Dad now. You have to survive, Tabby! Listen. Wait until the sun shines through the cracks, making a trail out. Follow it down the creek until you come to the opening. You'll see a large hill you hike up for a cell signal. And remember…If you can't see it… It can't hurt you. I love you-"
Tabitha stumbled forward before catching herself. The void in front of her arms was only filled by cool air. She looked up and noticed a faint glimmer of light pushing through the ceiling. She sat down, relaxing against the limestone wall of the cave, waiting for the trail of light to form.
***
After a few hours, the light shining through the cracks of the cave ceiling was bright enough to lead Tabitha to the other side. She stepped onto the creek bed, thankful for the sun hanging lower in the sky. Scanning the sky, Tabitha saw only a few clouds. The foothills of Appalachia backdropped the forest as she scanned for the hill. Her eyes found the trail leading up the steady slope of an impressive hill. The top of the hill was bare. Part of the hill must have sheared off in a landslide, leaving the top void of trees and a jagged cliff face. Tabitha started her hike up the back of the hill. She was careful to stay under the heavy canopy of the old trees, hopefully avoiding the creature's eyes.
She did her best to quiet her mind while hiking up the trail. Come on, almost to the top, then I can call 911, she replayed repeatedly in her mind. Her adrenaline made up for the lack of food since morning. She drank some water from a clean spot in the creek. She was placing her bet on rescue rather than worrying about the water.
Leaning against one of the trees, Tabitha took out her cell and measured the signal.
"Damn it, nothing!" She swore under her breath. She listened nervously and cautiously peered her head out from the tree line. Standing at the tree line, the cell phone still had a low signal. She pushed her anxiety down with a swallow and slowly stepped forward onto the bare rock. Tabitha was now out in the open. She walked with the cell phone pointed upwards, measuring the signal. Within three feet of the cliff face, her signal bar punched up to full. Tabitha began to punch in the numbers just as a pair of large yellow eyes appeared. She felt her legs become weak, and her vision blurred as the creature snared her in its gaze.
Tabitha ducked, missing the giant owl's claws as it swooped for her. She squinted her eyes shut, momentarily breaking the hold of the infernal beast as it crashed to the ground, tumbling down the path of old trees. On her hands and knees, she tucked the dialed phone back into her pocket. She heard the creature's loud bellowing, followed by the snapping of bone and flesh ripping. It was changing its shape to finish her off.
Tabitha tried to get up, but the flash of its eyes did something to her. Her legs were numb, her stomach was in knots, and she could barely put a few thoughts together.
"If you can't see it, it can't hurt you." Tabitha heard clearly in her left ear. She quickly pushed herself into a sitting position and fumbled for the key chain in her right pocket. Pulling the long chain of keys, luck charms, and keepsakes, her father's Swiss army knife dangled at the end. She slowly opened the half-inch blade. Her body wholeheartedly rejected her plan and tried to fight her. Every internal warning system sounded as her body fought against her as she brought the blade against the corner of her left eye.
She didn't know if she could do it until the creature bellowed in her direction. With one quick motion, the half-inch blade sliced across her left eye. The world dimmed and then went black on her left side. Behind her, the beast's thundering gallop was getting closer. Tabitha plunged herself into total darkness with the last bit of her strength. Her hand gripped tightly around the bloody knife as she folded forward onto the ground. She could feel herself weeping blood. She squinted, doing her best to stem the tide of blood loss.
A large feathered paw drove into Tabitha's right side, flipping her onto her back. She lay still as the hulking creature stood over her. It remained motionless, and Tabitha was confused about why it didn't move or bite her. Then she started to giggle, just a little at first. Then, laughing madly into the creature's face as it growled back at her. She could not see it; she couldn't see anything. Her mind couldn't be eaten!
The creature roared into Tabitha's face while plunging one of its sharp claws into her shoulder. Tabitha screamed in pain, slashing the knife downward. The blade hit something soft, and she ripped the blade down, rending whatever she had hit on the abomination. A bright yellow, foul-smelling liquid gushed in a torrent over Tabitha's face. She turned to cough, having swallowed a portion of it. The creature reared back, squealing in pain. Its hind leg came down hard on Tabitha's leg, snapping her tibia. She jerked her leg up, causing the creature to tumble forward and fall over the edge of the cliff side.
Tabitha heard the creature crash below at the base of the hill. A large dead tree speared the creature through its chest. Tabitha could hear the labored whines of the creature as its cries became weak and slowed. A wave of sickness hit her as she rolled over and vomited. The foul smell drenched her. She did her best to focus, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the phone. By memory, she typed in the unlock pin. She held her breath and placed her thumb where the call button should be.
She could hear the call being made then, "911. What is your emergency?"
"Please help me! A bear has attacked me, and I can't see. I think I am on a hill."
"Ok, ma'am, stay with me! Do you know where you are located?"
"No, I'm lost. Please send help."
"It's okay. Stay with me on the phone, and I'll use the cell signal to try to find you."
"I'm on top of one of the hills. I think I am lying on a bare roc-" Tabitha slipped unconscious with the cell still tightly in her hand. Her body began to tremble and convulse.
"Ma'am! Ma'am! Stay with me. I have help on the way."
Chapter 3
A young man in military fatigues frantically compiles images and reconnaissance data from his drone feed. Confirming his hunch, he commands the winged surveillance drone to make a hard left and send a live video feed. His eyes widened as he saw a large owl-shaped shadow crash onto the top of a hill. He watches in awe as the sleek black owl twists and shifts into something much larger, like a grizzly. As the drone turns, he sees a woman at the cliff's edge trying to steady yourself on her hands and knees.
He bolts up from the command module, jotting down the drone's coordinates on one of the printouts. The drab government-issued office motif for the watch station blurs in the corner of his eye as he rushes down the hallway to the watch commander's office.
"Sir, recon has eyes on AMOS! And it's feeding!" the man said, swinging the heavy wooden door open. He took the hastily compiled file and pushed it forward to the commanding officer.
An older, tanned man quickly stands, reaching for the files. His brow furls, seeing his charge is awake. "Keep eyes on it! Go Adams!" The young man nods, turning on his heel and bolting for the drone command module. As his office door slams shut from the subordinate officer, he grabs his headset and frantically dials the closest military outpost to the coordinates.
"Hello, Sergeant Klein; this is Agent Smith of Black Watch outpost 7948! Shadow is active, code Alpha, Mike, Oscar, Sierra. The coordinates and data package have been sent. A civilian is on the ground; deploy strike-and-rescue ASAP.
"We'll be up in five, Agent Smith! The line cuts as Agent Smith closes out the call on his headset and rushes to the door. The normally quiet watch station buzzes alive, with personnel flooding the central command station. The background echoes resource allocation calls, frantic typing, and the hum of cold computers warming up.
"Adams, get our eyes back on Amos!"
"Coming back around in 30 seconds." Thirty sets of eyes stare at the three giant screens, anxiously waiting for the drone feed to clear the bank of trees. The camera clears the tre top to see the giant feathered grizzly rear back slinging its massive head away from its prey. Its large yellow right eye spews bright yellow liquid all over the red-haired woman and the cliff face. The giant feathered grizzly missteps, crushing the woman's leg and causing the creature to tumble over the cliff face.
"Fuck!" Agent Smith yells in horror as he watches AMOS fall four stories, impaling a sharp, 3-meter-tall log lodged in the boulders. The command center freezes wide-eyed at the flailing dying creature on screen. Agent Smith pulls his cell out quickly and dials.
"Klein, Scrub the current request! AMOS is down! Switch to rescue and harvest now!
"What, someone took out AMOS?"
"YES! It's at the bottom of the cliff, bleeding out essence! The woman is covered in it as well. Clean as much of it off her as possible before you take her to the ER.
"Understood!"
Agent Smith, in a rage, slings his phone straight forward, connecting with Private Adams's skull. Adams flinches at the sudden impact of the hard plastic and covers his head. Agent Smith grabs the table in front of him and flips it over, sending the computer equipment crashing to the government-issued tiled floor.
"A two-year cycle gone! All that essence is gone! Now I have to wait another 24 months for AMOS to resurrect!" Agent Smith screams, causing the rest of the staff to recoil away in fear.
"Jones!" Agent Smith says sternly, turning to a petite woman on his left. She stares at him, pleading.
"Yes Sir?'
"Get Officer Nichols on my office line. That fuck up has some explaining. He should have told us AMOS was awake."
"Right away!" Jones quickly sits back down and begins dialing Nichols, thankful she doesn't have to deal with Agent Smith further. The command center quickly shifts gears as Agent Smith returns to his office.
***
Two Weeks later…
"Tabitha… Tabitha… This is Doctor Wilhelm. Wake up." The kind older gentleman said as they gently nudged Tabitha in her hospital bed.
"Where am I?" Tabitha asked, waking from what felt like years of sleep. She sat up, the world still pitch black, but an odd sense of the world around her seemed to hum just behind her eyes.
"You're in the hospital, dear; you scared us. Do you remember anything?" He said as he sat down on the side of her bed.
Tabitha thought for a moment the last parts after she slashed her eyes were a blur. She remembers people yelling and the sound of two or three helicopters over her. " No, it's really all just a blur."
"Well, it's probably for the best. You had some very serious injuries. The first night, we honestly didn't think you would make it. Then…" The doctor trailed off with a concerned expression, not knowing how to explain things further.
Tabitha felt his pulse quicken somehow. She didn't understand it but fully felt or sensed the doctor beside her. She sensed the two other nurses standing at the end of the bed. Her body didn't hurt. She felt great. She felt hungry.
"Doctor, you said had. What happened to my injuries?" She said calmly, trying not to startle the old doctor further.
"Well, Tabitha, it's the closest thing to a miracle I've ever seen. You had violent seizures from the minute you hit the entrance of the ER. We couldn't even set your leg. The medications we gave you had a minimal effect, and you thrashed so much that we had to restrain you. Then, the early morning check-in found you in a deep sleep. All but your eyes were completely healed. So we switched gears to support care and treated your eyes the best we could." He said, watching her reaction.
Tabitha leaned back in her bed, taking in the wild account. "Do you know how I healed so quickly?"
"What happened to you is beyond all scientific reason. A miracle is the only way the staff and I can explain it. I know you have been through a lot, but I want to check your eyes."
"Thank you for all your help, Doctor Wilhelm." She said, sitting up in bed.
"You are most welcome, dear. Now I am going to unwrap your eye-dressing. Hold still, please." he said as he reached up and pulled on the bandage tape. Tabitha felt a quick tug and felt the bandages loosen from around her head. The doctor slowly unwrapped the bandages. The doctor's brow wrinkled as he examined the two large black scabs covering Tabitha's eyes.
"Tell me if this hurts at all, ok?"
"Yes, doctor." She relaxes as the doctor's gloved fingers pass over the scab. He pushes and gently tugs at the side of one, and it starts to lift. He pulls on the scab more, and Tabitha begins to sense the light as it hits her eyelid.
"Oh, I can sense the light, Doctor Wilhelm!" She said, smiling.
"Wonderful! Nurse Allen, please hand me some saline solution. I think a little water will loosen these right up. Hold still; this may feel cold," he said as he reached for the solution. She felt the cool liquid flush over the left eye, then the right. The scabs fell away with a gentle tug from the doctor. She could see the light shine through her eyelids. She grinned widely, happy to have some form of sight left.
"Please open your eyes for me," he said as he sat back on the bed. Tabitha slowly opened her eyes. The flood of light was almost too much, causing her to squint. After a few moments, she adjusted to the fluorescent lights. Three figures began to take shape in front of her. First, the distinguished older features of Doctor Wilhelm came into view quickly, followed by the brunette and blonde younger nurses standing at the end of the bed. Suddenly, her vision snapped into place, crisp and clear.
"I can see perfectly! This is amazing! Thank you, Doctor Wilhem!" she said, turning to look directly into his eyes, but he stared back at her unmovingly.
"Doctor Wilhelm?" she said as her expression became more worried. Doctor Wilhelm just sat staring, intensely focused on her eyes. His expression was overbearingly calm. She glanced at the nurses, rigidly staring back at her with trapped, calm expressions. Doctor Wilhelm began to twitch slightly. It traveled from the base of his spine out to his limbs, finally convulsing.
"Doctor Wilhelm, are you okay?" Tabitha yelled as the doctor began to have a seizure and fell on top of her bed.
"Help Him!" She screamed at the two nurses only to see both of them crumble to the tiled floor. One of them bashed her head off the bed frame. Tabitha recoils back from Doctor Wilhelm in terror as he starts foaming at the mouth. She climbs over the bed rail and hits the tiled concrete floor with a thud. Her adrenaline surges as she bolts for the door, looking for help.
At the entrance of her hospital room, she sees another nurse leaving the adjacent room. "Please, my doctor and staff need help!" As the male nurse turns to see Tabitha, he suddenly goes stiff before collapsing into a violent seizure, spilling his cart over with him.
"What's happening!" Tabitha screams, thinking something is in the air, or everyone has come down with something. A pair of security guards round the corner, hearing the screams and commotion.
"Ma'am, are yo-" The guard freezes mid-stride as he makes eye contact with Tabitha. Both men start to convulse and topple over, thrashing violently on the hard tile.
"No, no, no, no!" Tabitha yells as she darts into the women's bathroom, a few doors up the hall. She runs in, terrified of the situation. She approaches one of the sinks, bracing herself against the cool porcelain. Her stomach turns, and she dry heaves in the sink. She steadies herself while turning on the cold water. Leaning in, she takes a drink. As she looks up, a glint of two yellow eyes catches her. Tabitha stumbles backward on reflex. Then, she sees her reflection in the mirror. Two completely bright yellow eyes stare back at Tabitha. She screams at herself in the mirror, not feeling hungry anymore.
The end.
I will

[34][F][5'9''][BMI 33][White][GI issues]
PMH includes high Prolactin (45-80ng range), as well as something on my anterior pituitary that may or may not be a cyst, IBS, depression.
Current medications: Welbutrin, trazodone, fish oil, fiber tablets, multivitamin
Social history: don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs
History:
I've had releasing/remitting GI issues for years. I was told it is IBS. It may be, no reason to think it's not.
The past year I've had extreme weight gain (without medication change) of almost 40lbs. Was tested for cushings, cortisol came back normal under 50 with mightnight salivary test. Was told I just overeat. OK fair.
Thyroid tests are fine as of four months ago. TSH is upper limit of ideal but still within normal limits.
Labs for the past six months have shown persist borderline low or low sodium levels despite making sure I have enough dietary sodium. I have never had an issue with my sodium levels prior to this. I crave salt all the time, to the point where sometimes I just take tablespoons of soy sauce. I add salt to my water when I drink it. HDL is low for the first time in my life, LDL/triglycerides are fine. A few months ago my CO2 and sodium were both low with a normal happy anion gap. Neutrophils are often in the 65-75% range. The doctor hasn't been concerned by any of it. I always feel sick (lethargic, GI distress) when I go in/have this blood work done so it's associated with symptoms. I never have any fevers.
Four days ago I had yellow diarrhea. Two days ago it became yellow normal stool but with extreme gastric distension-- I looked four months pregnant. This was accompanied by nausea and lack of appetite. I dry heaved a few times and when I bent over I can feel gastric contents coming up into my throat. However, I never vomited and the diarrhea was only two bouts. I get full very quickly. I also noticed two red lines in my stomach that look veined patterned.
I went to urgent care yesterday and they said I a visible fluid wave but it didn't travel all the way across. They said labs wouldn't come back until tomorrow so I agreed to just wait and see which somehow got entered as me refusing blood work. Today I had a fever of 100.5 which was measured an hour after taking two extra strength Tylenol for a severe headache. Still no appetite although I can eat without throwing up. (I ate a bar of chocolate this morning.) I went back to urgent care, at which time they told me I no longer had a fever and everything on me appeared normal.
They did blood work and an URQ ultrasound. Ultrasound is clear but a big boi for a woman at 16.2cm length. Three yeras ago it was measured at 19cm so this isn't new. Bloodwork was unremarkable except for low chloride (97), borderline low sodium (136) and a borderline high anion gap at 19 (20 is upper limit of normal.) Neutrophils are slightly elevated at 67.1%.
Here's a link to today's labs: https://imgur.com/a/lSRwZSg
Here's a link to some labs that were done in March when I felt sick: https://imgur.com/a/yXCpT67
Significantly, creatine is happy, AST/ALT happy, lipase is happy, white/red blood cells are happy.
But I still feel like something is wrong. I feel sick. I have a fever. I don't understand why I have persistent hyponatremia/borderline hyponatremia, the low chloride is totally new (it was 7 points higher just a few months ago), and my anion gap at 19 is an outlier, historically speaking. I don't understand why my neutrophils are often elevated. The only differential I can come up with is something like Addison's Disease which hasn't be completely ruled out with the cortisol test but I have high blood pressure which doesn't fit at all.
Thank you.

So for the past month I've been suffering for I'm guessing a bad flare up in my stomach. I was taking 40mg of omeprazole and a few months ago was feeling great, eating the food I loved so I made the dumb mistake to stopped taking them cold turkey. Well a month ago I had the worst acid dump and wreaked havoc in my stomach and esophagus. I had this happen a year ago and I stopped eating and lost 20lbs. Now I feel like I'm going down the same rabbit hole.
They symptoms are feeling like a roll of dough in the top middle of my abdomen. Pretty much my stomach area. I still have the burning sensation in my esophagus and tongue. I constantly have esophagus spasms that are driving me nuts. Keeps me up all night and gives me anxiety. Also when I eat something and when the good goes down my esophagus and right when it hits the sphincter it feels like it gets stuck for a second and then feels like it scraps it while going down into my stomach. I'm beginning to lose weight again. I do feel like I have an hemorrhoid so now having trouble passing stools. I'm in constant fight or flight mode. Body fatigue, feeling symptoms of dehydration, brain fog, when I get excited my heart rate begins to race and I feel like lava running through my vains, my throat feels tight at times and stings that comes and goes, the constant belching, can't sleep at night due to a rush of tightness that rushes in the middle of my chest that comes and goes like every 2 minutes 🥺.
I suffer from health anxiety so the first thought is stomach or esophageal cancer but from I'm getting told from people that has experienced this that it could possibly be gastritis, peptic ulcer, esophagitis at times my stomach feels inflamed when I drink water. Even when I talk I get short of breath 😟
I force myself to ear but before I do I start to get nauseated but then when I do eat I eat all my food as if I was hungry. Anxiety?? Just wanting to see some of yalls thoughts
A year ago I've gotten blood work, xrays, ultrasounds, barium swallow, stool samples, and a CT scan and all have come back negative for cancer so why can't I trust the results. If it's an ulcer how long does it take to heal and does it give you flu like symptoms when it flares up?

I know it’s early, but for me my family and friends are saying I’ve changed for the better. I struggled for years with agoraphobia and cardiac related anxiety to the point I couldn’t leave my house for weeks at a time.
In the past 3 weeks I’ve attended multiple social outings, a wedding, and a few days at a cabin with strangers (related to a friend). I’ve managed to be social this time instead of hiding away by myself, and I’ve made meaningful connections with new people.
Usually I get agoraphobia anxiety attacks in the car which used to make me have diarrhea and nausea, but this time I’ve managed a 5 hour car trip with my friends this weekend with only a little stomach ache.
I had some side effects but they weren’t as severe as other peoples experience.
Day one: I took my very first dose in the early morning as per my doctors recommendation (to see if I have side effects during the day, as I have a history of medication side effects). Throughout the day I didn’t feel any difference.
Day two: I woke up with a racing heart and slight heart palpitations, this scared me and I almost stopped taking it but I read this is common according to other people. I took the second dose in the afternoon after I worked up enough courage.
Day three: I had a bit of nausea and anxiety, I dry heaved a few times and struggled eating throughout the day.
Day four and five: Still nauseated and I had a dry mouth. I drank A LOT of water.
Day six: I attended a wedding. I was nauseated but I felt less anxious and was able to be more social than usual, my family noted that I was more talkative and attentive when people were talking to me.
Day 7: No noticeable side effects or improvements.
Week 2: I had some social outings, but I didn’t write about any side effects in my notes so I don’t think I had anything severe enough otherwise I would have written it down.
Week 3: I went on a long drive with my friends and I barely had any anxiety this time other than a little upset stomach. I also stayed at a cabin and I was able to be social so that makes me very happy that I was able to have this experience without being as burnt out from anxiety like I usually am.
Overall my experience has been positive and I kinda wished I tried this medication sooner.