TL;DR - this is an extremely long rant, feel free to skip ❤️
Hey. Im a 17 year old male of British Bangladeshi ethnicity from South London. Ive just recently been diagnosed with ME/CFS, and it has truly ruined my life already within the span of 4 months; although they suspect that I had had the illness for nearly 9 years prior to the diagnosis.
I'm sure everyone on this page is familiar with the notion of this illness ruining people's lives. But I feel I must share more about my story to you all, because I need help.
When I was 9, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 blood (Hodgkin's Lymphoma) cancer, and 6 years later or so; having survived the initial cancer, he came down again with yet another stage 4 cancer in his bowel. I was there on the day of diagnosis of the first cancer, and never really understand it all as a child. Furthermore, I never really got to be a child. With my father being ill, i was stuck being almost a nurse for him at home, while trying to do my best in other aspects of my life. I didn't cry. I didn't moan. I would just try and help my mum as much as I could.
The issue then was at the time, I was suffering from major physical issues, where the possible diagnosis spanned from juvenile arthritis to just growing pains. It was a nightmare, but it was still liveable and I was still able to somewhat enjoy my time in my hobbies I had at the time and with my friends at school. This would turn out to be the initial showing signs of the ME that has struck me down 8 years later.
Fast forward to present day, I'm currently bedbound, or more sofa-bound, as our family has always struggled financially. I dont have my own room. I dont even have a wardrobe in this house to call my own. A place to put the things a 17 year old needs to put. But thats not the main issue. Im a young 17 year old man, yet I haven't gone to school in months. Currently in Year 12, having done extremely well in my GCSEs and having had a year 10 with a relatively symptom free year, year 11 was when it all really started. My school attendance for year 11 was 56%, yet I was just able to do well in my GCSEs because, lets be honest, in the grand scheme of things they're not very difficult. But for A-levels, with my current attendance of 31%, it is just not possible to do well in this way.
I was also a major talent in football. Ever since I was born, i had a passion for playing the sport, and had gotten pretty good at it; playing for Fulham academy for a while in the younger years when I was more physically capable. As i grew older, I attented trials at Crystal Palace and got in, but had to pull out due to 'injury'. This was my one passion. My only proper passion in life.
ME has ruined my life. I was seen as an extremely gifted individual in both academic and athletic aspects, but because of the brain fog and constant migraines and of course the fatigue and physical implications of the cfs, all of that has gone down the drain. I can't deal with this anymore. I've been stuck at home for months. I cant have my friends over because the house is too small. I cant get out of the house because standing for more than 5 minutes makes me dizzy (I also suffer from POTS). My father, who had become crazy from his double dose of max power chemo, and had already given up on life and is now depressed and stuck at home with me, is the only face I see in the mornings. My brother has a life to live at 21 years old, so he must ignore us in a way to protect himself. My mother. I want to kms for how much sufferage ive caused my mum. she didn't get married for this. she didnt have kids to live like this.
Ive been struggling with sever clinical depression due to the cfs, as expected. But, as is normal in an asian household for a young man, emotion doesn't exist. Even my depressed, crazy father doesnt see depression and sadness as an emotion, more just a defect of life. I need help. No doctors know anything about this stupid illness. therapists tell me to do some exercise and get out in the sun, even when i tell them i cannot stand and just attending the session is a huge challenge.
I miss my friends. I miss myself, Im not who i once was. I don't love football anymore. I cant learn anything like i used to enjoy doing when i was younger. even things as little as gaming has suffered, because i cant even concentrate and my eyesight suffers from the constant migraines. im going insane from the constant headache. how can a 17 year old live like a 90 year old? how can a boy remenisce on his life as if hes even lived it? the only time my brain seems to work is when im desperate at 3 am in the long sleepless nights the goddamn insomnia causes. there was a period where i didnt sleep for 3 weeks straight. the other people my age seem to be living life, actually growing and making memories. my closest friend group have made plans to go to spain for the summer. they know i cant go with them. this hurts. i cant even cry. i dont have a place in my house, and i was raised so that i didnt show any emotion other than happiness to my parents. i cried for the first time in my mature lifetime in front of another human being in my first therapy session. it didnt feel normal. I told my therapist, 'crying always felt like i was admitting defeat' and i still feel that way, but she pointed out that this was because of how i was raised. is this really what life is? ive always been an overly empathetic person and it has gotten to the point that i dont even want to meet someone in a romantic setting or get married or whatever, because i dont want whatever is happening to my mum to happen to my future wife, where she has to take care of a useless thing like me. im not worth that and i couldnt bare the guilt of ruining a girls life just to say i got married to her. the reality of my loneliness in the future is dawning on me, or even worse the reality of depending on my parents as a middle aged adult. id rather die.
It was always my dream to travel and leave England, and live and die in Spain or Chile. ive even learnt spanish, almost B level fluency after a couple years of learning. I guess id have to forget that now.

Guys,last 2 years i didnt study anything also same story hai jo kaafi log pehle bhi bta rakhe hai focus chuda hai kuch nhi padhta aaj tak hazaro baar start kia or haal ye hai 3 4 ch se zyada kuch nhi pdha 12vi last me 1 month padha hu tum log believe kro ya nhi usse zyada bilkul nhi sch bol rha hu math me 5 day k gap me 10 ch kia hu yt se ncert nyi ki nyi padi hai jo bhi hai 0 pecrent aa gye Bahut chutiya hu manta hu but Ek cheez pakka socha hu krunga to btech cse (i know beggars cant be chosers but i want to change my life upside down) Jo hua hua ab i know kuch saalo ki galti se zindagi kharab nhi hone dunga Dekho scratch se padhna hai mughko aise krna hai ki agle saal atleast ek ache pvt me cse mil jaye ki naami college thoda ho ya koi thik thak gvt mil jaye cse is baar toh jee 60 percentile hai kuch kaha milega aisa kya kru aap btao ki cse nikaal lu next year delhi ke koi thik gvt college me ya koi ek thik pvt me hi (delhi ka candidate hu toh kuch state quotra bhi lag sakta hai shayad) Dekho Resources Socha hu maths -gb sir apni kaksha Phy fastlane Chem ioc and pc fastlane alk sir and oc ka abhi socha nhi kya ye thik rhegaga ? Mains ka kr rha hu isliye kuch kuch me normal lane k jagah faastlane se krunga practice ko time dene k liye ....kya ye thik rhega ?? Kuch or ho sakta hai to btaye sochta hu 98 plus percentile ka aim rakhu but hota thodi hai aim se kuch itna kam time hai agar ana oga toh momentum ban jayega khud kuch mahine me samjh jaunga kitna ban sakte hai Meri ek bahud badi problem hai ki hamesha 20 days max padhke burnout fir 20 din yt wagera me waste matlab hamesha yeh hota hai kya kru aap btao ab nhi kr sakta ye mai soch rha hu youtube ko apne dincharya se eliminate krne k liye koi substitution bta sakte ho jo thoda entertaining ho ? also resource k liye socha hai comeptishun ex 1 and jee main ex sab pls help kro please bhut dukhi hun...........

This is the list that I wrote for Oklahoma's execution roster since the nationwide reinstatement of capital punishment in the late 1970s. Something that should be mentioned is that given the nature of many death penalty related crimes, many of the descriptions contain very disturbing details. Please read at your own risk.
Florida's list is next, and I'll post my list for Texas once I've completed it. With Texas, I've currently finished 464 entries out of the 587 cases to date. That will probably take 7 or 8 posts for it all to be released, so I'll probably do two posts a day with Texas to avoid spamming the sub. At the end of this year, I'll repost the states that have conducted further executions with the updated information.
As with Missouri and Virginia, Reddit's maximum character count limitations forced me to divide Oklahoma's list into two separate parts. Here is the link to part 2.
The currently 124 executed offenders, cases 1 to 62:
1. Charles Coleman (~1950s-1990, lethal injection): A month after he was released on parole in 1979, Coleman broke into a house. While sacking it for any valuables, the homeowner’s brother and sister in law, 68 year old John and 62 year old Roxie Seward, walked in on him and were both shot dead. Coleman stole Roxie’s purse, several packets of frozen meat, and the homeowner’s watch during the burglary, and was arrested shortly afterwards. However, Coleman managed to escape custody, and went on a rampage that involved several burglaries, auto thefts, slitting the throat of a policeman in a failed murder attempt, the shooting death of 49 year old Russell Lewis Jr. in a carjacking, and the abduction of a deputy. The kidnapped deputy was rescued following an armed standoff with other police officers. Coleman had an extensive history of animal cruelty, armed robberies, assaults, and carrying concealed weapons convictions dating back to when he was 11 years old. He was also heavily suspected in the murder of his teenage girlfriend’s father, but was acquitted by the courts despite the prosecution’s strong belief in his guilt.
2. Robyn Parks (1977-1992, lethal injection): During a gas station robbery, Parks shot and killed Abdullah Ibrahim, a 24 year old Bangladeshi immigrant that worked as the attendant. According to Parks, he murdered Ibrahim for catching him using a stolen credit card.
3. Olan Randle (1980-1992, lethal injection): Randle invaded a home and shot the occupants, 41 year old Robert Swinford, Sinford's fiance 42 year old Averil Bourque, and Bourque's friend 38 year old Julia Lovejoy, dead. He took a pocket knife and several watches from the victims.
4. Thomas Grasso (~1970s(?)-1995, lethal injection): While living in Oklahoma, Grasso strangled 87 year old Hilda Johnson, the best friend of his girlfriend's grandmother, to death with her Christmas lights. He took $8 from her purse, several coins that added up to $4, and a television set that he sold for $125. Grasso then moved to New York, and strangled 81 year old Leslie Holtz for his social security check. The trialing arrangements caused some controversy, as the New York governors at the time were anti death penalty, and tried to prevent Grasso's extradition in favor of giving him a life sentence in their jurisdiction. Grasso had several previous convictions for theft and was fired multiple times for stealing from his jobs.
5. Roger Stafford (~1974(?)-1995, lethal injection): Stafford was condemned for killing at least 9 people in two separate robbery incidents with his brother and ex wife, though his ex wife claimed that he was involved with as many as 34 murders nationwide. The first convicted incident was when he and the ex wife carjacked and fatally shot a couple, 38 year old Melvin and 31 year old Linda Lorenz, and their son, 12 year old Richard. A few weeks after the Lorenz murders, Stafford stormed a restaurant and gunned down 6 employees, 56 year old Isaac Freeman, 43 year old Louis Zacarias, 17 year old Anthony Tew, 17 year old David Lindsey, 16 year old David Salsman, and 15 year old Terri Horst. One of Stafford's additional attributed victims was 20 year old Jimmy Berry, who was killed in the hold up of an Alabaman McDonalds, but he wasn't charged by the state due to his death sentences in Oklahoma.
6. Robert Brecheen (1983-1995, lethal injection): Breechen was involved in a feud over money with 59 year old Mary Stubbs and her husband. In an attempt to take what he perceived was owed to him, Breechen carried out a night time burglary of their home. While rummaging through the house, Breechen stumbled upon old Marie in her living room and shot her to death. The gunshots and screams awoke her husband, and he chased him away with his own gun.
7. Benjamin Brewer (1978-1996, lethal injection): Brewer raped his neighbor, 20 year old Karen Stapleton, in her home and stabbed her to death
8. Steven Hatch (1979-1996, lethal injection): Hatch and another assailant, Glen Ake, forced themselves inside the home that Richard Dougass, a 43 year old reverend, shared with his wife, 36 year old Marilyn, and their two children, 16 year old Brooks and 12 year old Lesile. The pair tied up the family and raped Lesile in front of her parents and brother. All four family members were shot, and Hatch and Ake ran off with $43 and the parents’ wedding rings. Richard and Marilyn were both killed in the shootings, while their children survived the attack. Ake was also initially condemned for the attack, but his sentence was overturned and resentenced to life following mental health concerns, and passed away from undisclosed natural causes in 2011.
9. Scott Carpenter (1994-1997, lethal injection): In a convenience store robbery, Carpenter stabbed the owner, 56 year old A. J. Kelley, in the neck, and hid the body in the minnow room. He filled his truck with $37 worth of gas from the pumps and drove away from the scene. His execution caused some controversy, as it was reported that Carpenter gasped and spasmed for 11 minutes after being injected.
10. Michael Long (1997-1998, lethal injection): Enraged that his coworker, 24 year old Sheryl Graber, refused him sex and started screaming for help, he stabbed her over 31 times. Long also shot and killed her son, 5 year old Andrew, for being a witness.
11. Stephen Wood (1992-1998, lethal injection): While heavily intoxicated, Wood stabbed two other homeless men, 46 year old Charles Stephen and 34 year old Charles Von Johnson, dozens of times each. He was given a life sentence for both of their murders. During his incarceration, Robert Brigden, a 59 year old former minister that was serving a 40 year sentence for molesting several girls between the ages of 4-14 in his congregation, moved into his unit after refusing to go into protective custody. Woods killed Brigden in a stabbing attack, and his sentence was escalated to death by the courts for it.
12. Tuan Anh Nguyen (~1982-1998, lethal injection): By all accounts, Nguyen was jealously possessive over his wife, 21 year old Donna. During one of their arguments over his behavior, he stabbed Donna, her 6 year old nephew Joseph White, and her 3 year old niece Amanda White, in their home and left the bodies to be found by the children’s parents. He fled to Arizona, groomed a 14 year old girl into an illicit “relationship”, and impregnated her. After he convinced her to move in with him, Nguyen physically and sexually abused the girl until she fled and went to the local police for help. Nguyen was then deported back to Oklahoma to face trial for Donna and the White children’s slayings, and was sentenced to death for them.
13. John Duvall (1986-1998, lethal injection): During a fight with his wife, 30 year old Donna, Duvall stabbed and suffocated her to death with a pillow.
14. John Castro Sr. (1983-1999, lethal injection): Castro carjacked Beulah Cox, a 31 year old Oklahoma State University student, after she picked him up hitchhiking and shot her to death. A few months later, Castro held up a restaurant with an empty pistol, and attacked the manger, 29 year old Rhonda Pappan, after forcing her to open the register. During their struggle, Pappan was fatally stabbed, and he took off with her purse. During his mid teens, Castro was allegedly molested by his mother. Castro's attorneys made the argument that his glimpses of Cox's buttocks reminded him of his mother's reported abuse, and he was triggered into attacking her for it.
15. Sean Sellers (1985-1999, lethal injection): In 1985, a then 15 year old Sellers tried to buy beer from a convenience store, but the clerk, 32 year old Robert Bower, denied him due to being underaged at the time. Sellers gunned him down in a fit of rage. A year later, Sellers shot and killed his mother, 32 year old Vonda Bellofatto, and stepfather, 43 year old Paul, in their sleep. Due to being 16 at the time of his conviction, Sellers remains the youngest condemned offender to have his sentence carried out in the post Furman era. He also attracted national media attention for claiming that his crimes were the result of demonic possession.
16. Scotty Moore (1983-1999, lethal injection): Moore was fired from a motel for undisclosed reasons. In retaliation, Moore and a cousin (whom he was dating at the time), assaulted the motel, and gunned down the desk clerk, 42 year old Alex Fernandez. According to court documents, the pair took a total of $97 in the robbery.
17. Norman Newsted (1984-1999, lethal injection): Newsted tricked Lawrence Buckley, a 26 year old cab driver, into picking him up. He shot Buckley dead and took his wallet. In an attempt to cover his tracks, Newsted placed the body inside the cab, and drove it into a creek near a local church. Despite his best efforts, Buckley’s cab and remains were discovered a day later by the church’s pastor.
18. Cornel Cooks (1982-1999, lethal injection): Cooks and his accomplice broke into the home of 87 year old Jennie Ridling. She was gagged, raped, and suffocated to death with gauze wrappings. According to autopsy reports, the pair abused her for over 2 hours. They then sacked the house for any valuables and left with her checkbook.
19. Bobby Ross (1983-1999, lethal injection): While robbing an inn, Ross fatally shot a police officer, 30 year old Steve Mahan, that tried to intervene.
20. Malcolm Johnson (~1970s(?)-2000, lethal injection): Johnson invaded the apartment of 76 year old Ura Thompson and sexually assaulted her. Thompson either died from having her chest compounded during the abuse or was suffocated by Johnson’s hands covering her nose. He seized several possessions such as furs, typewriters, purse, watch, rings, and a hand mirror, which were discovered by police in his residence during an unrelated investigation of a firearms possession charge. Johnson had an extensive criminal history, which included several convictions of rape, armed robberies, and burglaries. The case attracted controversy when it was discovered that the lead chemist in the investigation misconducted several of her other cases, and forged some of the evidence used in the trial. Despite the other overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Johnson’s supporters took the opportunity to push a narrative of his innocence.
21. Gary Walker (~1960s-2000, lethal injection): Walker abducted, raped, and murdered at least 5 women, 36 year old Margaret Lydick, 35 year old Jane Hilburn, 32 year old Janet Jewell, 25 year old Valerie Shaw-Hartzell, and 24 year old DeRonda Roy, and non fatally assaulted several other women and teenage girls. The victims were mostly strangled to death with their bras and panties. Some of them were forced to withdraw hundreds of dollars from ATMs before they were killed. He also strangled a man, 63 year old Eddie Cash, with an electrical cord while robbing his home. Walker had dozens of previous convictions for burglary, carjacking, drug possession, and carrying concealed weapons. Some of his earliest arrests occurred when he was a teenager.
22. Michael Roberts (~1988-2000, lethal injection): A career burglar, Roberts was condemned for murder of 80 year old Lula Brooks. She was raped and her throat was slit by an intruder in her home. Roberts' death sentence and execution has been contested, as he was convicted on his later recounted testimony alone. He claimed that the investigators tricked him into confessing with the promise of a plea deal that was allegedly withheld from him.
23. Kelly Rogers (1990-2000, lethal injection): Rogers’ girlfriend lured 21 year old Karen Lauffenburger into her apartment with a fake pizza order. They accosted her when she arrived with the delivery. After the couple forced Lauffenburger to hand to over the $40 she earned from the night's pizza deliveries and withdraw $175 from an ATM, Rogers raped and stabbed her to death. The body was left in Lauffenburger’s apartment and was found by her boyfriend.
24. Ronald Boyd (1986-2000, lethal injection): During a robbery spree of several gas stations and supermarkets, Boyd engaged in a shootout with the responding officers. A Master Patrolman, 32 year old Richard Riggs, was killed in the exchange.
25. Charles Foster (~1980s(?)-2000, lethal injection): Foster suspected a grocery store owner, 74 year old Claude Wiley, of making sexual advances at his wife. He arranged for her to entice Wiley to their home with an order. When he arrived with the delivery, Foster stabbed and bludgeoned him to death with a baseball bat. He a history of convictions involving threats and violence, though my sources didn’t disclose any specific details.
26. James Robedeaux (1978-2000, lethal injection): In 1978, Robedeaux strangled his first wife, 30 year old Linda, and plead guilty to a second degree murder charges. He was released after serving 6 out of a 25 year sentence despite an escape attempt. In the following year, he began a relationship with 37 year old Nancy McKinney while he married a different woman. During an argument, Robedeaux beat McKinney to death, dismembered her body with a saw and machete, and scattered the remains across the state. While being investigated for McKinney's murder, he was arrested for choking and beating his estranged second wife. The cases were incidental and kept separate by the courts.
27. Roger Berget (~1985-2000, lethal injection): Berget carjacked and abducted 33 year old Rick Patterson with an accomplice, and shot him dead. He also admitted to the beating death of a roommate, 40 year old James Meadows, on the behalf of the man's wife. As a trivial side note, Berget's brother Rodney was executed in 2018 by the state of South Dakota for killing a prison guard [for more information, please see Rodney Berget's entry under the South Dakota section of my states with less then 10 executions post].
28. William Bryson (1988-2000, lethal injection): To collect a $300,000 life insurance policy, Marilyn Plantz recruited her boyfriend Byrson and his friend to kill her husband, 33 year old James. Byrson and his friend ambushed Plantz in his house as he was coming home from work and beat him to death with a baseball bat. With the intentions of staging an accident, Marilyn ordered the pair to burn the body in the couple's pickup truck.
29. Gregg Braun (1989-2000, lethal injection): Across several states, Braun shot and killed 4 women, 48 year old Geraldine Valdez, 31 year old Gwendolyn Miller, 28 year old Mary Rains, 27 year old Barbara Kochendorfer, and one man, 54 year old Pete Spurrier, while robbing stores.
30. George Wallace (~1970s-2000, lethal injection): Known as "the Mad Paddler" due to his habit of spanking abducted preteen and teenage boys with a wooden paddle, Wallace kidnapped his victims by posing as a police officer. After duping his targets into thinking that they were being arrested, Wallace restrained them with handcuffs and leg chains. The captives were then sexually abused and shot or stabbed to death. His crimes were exposed when an 18 year old man he abducted escaped from him despite being shot and stabbed numerous times. By his own admission, Wallace murdered 18 year old Thomas Reed, 15 year old William Domer, 14 year old Mark McLaughlin, 14 year old Jeffrey Foster, and 12 year old Alonzo Cade.
31. Eddie Trice (1987-2001, lethal injection): Trice snuck into the home of 84 year old Ernestine Jones and raped her. After he beat Jones to death with numbchucks, he terrorized and extorted her cognitively disabled son of $500 with threats of killing him if he told anyone of the murder. The son was also assaulted with a hammer, and he received injuries to his right eye, right cheekbone, and his right forearm.
32. Wanda Allen (~1981-2001, lethal injection): In 1981, Allen got into a fight with her live in girlfriend, 21 year old Dedra Pettus, and shot her dead. Despite giving a bungled story about her being accidentally killed in a shootout with Pettus’ ex boyfriend to the investigators, Allen managed to secure a 4 year sentence for manslaughter after pleading guilty to a plea deal, and was released after serving two years. While incarcerated, she started dating a fellow inmate, 29 year old Gloria Leathers, and continued their relationship outside of prison. The couple’s relationship was marred with extreme domestic violence on Allen’s end. In one incident, Allen struck Leathers with a rake. In 1989, while they were arguing in front of a shopping center, Allen shot and killed Leathers. Leathers herself also had history of violence, and had a conviction for stabbing a woman to death. Allen and her defense team tried to use Leathers’ previous convictions to make a self defense argument, but that was shot down by the courts.
33. Floyd Medlock (1990-2001, lethal injection): 7 year old Katherine Busch went to visit her family's old apartment, which Medlock was residing in, by herself. Busch knocked on the door and Medlock let her inside after she begged for food. He then choked and sexually assaulted the girl, dunked her head in a toilet bowl, and stabbed her to death. The body was hidden in a nearby dumpster. Busch's grandmothers were staunch pro capital punishment and anti death penalty activists respectively, and their public feud over Medlock's sentence and execution attracted some media attention. Medlock also had an extensive criminal history despite being only 19 at the time of Busch's murder, and was previously arrested several times for indecent exposure, arson, armed robbery, and marijuana possession.
34. Dion Smallwood (1992-2001, lethal injection): Smallwood walked into the home of his ex girlfriend's adoptive stepmother, 68 year old Lois Frederick, without invitation. He had a tumultuous and often violent relationship with her adopted stepdaughter that she strongly opposed, and they broke up under her pressure. After an argument, Smallwood knocked Frederick unconscious with a croquet mallet, locked her in a car, and burned her alive in it.
35. Mark Fowler (1985-2001, lethal injection): To get back at his ex employers for firing him, Fowler and his partner, Billy Fox, stormed a supermarket that he used to work out. The pair rounded up 3 employees, Chumpon Chaowasin, a 44 year old Thai immigrant, 33 year old Rick Cast, and 27 year old John Barrier, at gun point. Their hostages were shot, clubbed, and stabbed to death, and they took over $2,7000 in cash and checks.
36. Billy Fox (1985-2001, lethal injection): Fox assisted the above mentioned Mark Fowler in robbing a supermarket and murdering 3 of its employees
37. Loyd Lafevers (1985-2001, lethal injection): Lafevers and his accomplice, Randall Cannon, kidnapped 84 year old Addie Hawley from her home. She was raped, trapped in the trunk of a car, and burned alive in it. Although she was rescued, Hawley died from her injuries 6 hours later. The pair stole Hawley's wedding ring and Lafevers gifted it to a stripper. As Hawley's nephew was a Colorado state senator, her murder gained some attention from media outlets.
38. Dorsie Jones Jr. (1979-2001, lethal injection): While drinking at a bar, a barmaid chastised Jones for carrying an unconcealed gun. He shot at her in a fit of rage, but missed and injured his female companion instead. Jones then turned his attention to the other patrons and fired on them. 48 year old Stanley Buck Sr. was killed in front of his 19 year old son, who was also wounded in the shooting.
39. Robert Clayton (~1980s-2001, lethal injection): Clayton attacked 19 year old Rhonda Timmons while she was sunbathing near her apartment. She was raped, stabbed, kicked in the head, and strangled to death with her swimming suit. Her husband found Timmons' body laying next to their infant daughter, who was left unharmed. Clayton had a previous rape conviction in Tennessee and a robbery conviction in Texas.
40. Ronald Fluke (1997-2001, lethal injection): Out of despair that his gambling addiction drove his family to near poverty, Fluke shot and killed his wife, 44 year old Ginger, and their daughters, 13 year old Kathryn and 11 year old Susanne, while they were sleeping in their bedrooms. He initially attacked Ginger with a hatchet, but turned to shooting when she fought back.
41. Marilyn Plantz (1988-2001, lethal injection): The married girlfriend of William Bryson. As mentioned under Bryson's entry, Plantz arranged for him and his friend to kill her husband James to collect his life insurance policy.
42. Terrance James (1983-2001, lethal injection): While awaiting trial for a theft of government property charge, James and two accomplices strangled a fellow inmate, 25 year old Mark Berry, with wire out of their suspicions of him being a snitch. They then hung the body in an attempt to make it look like a suicide. Berry was another party in the theft of government property case, and James and his accomplices believed that it was his testimony that got them arrested.
43. Vincent Johnson (1991-2001, lethal injection): Johnson gunned down 44 year old Shirley Mooneyham in her home. The prosecution believed that Mooneyham's boyfriend arranged the killing to collect a life insurance policy, but he was acquitted at trial.
44. Jerald Harjo (~1980s-2001, lethal injection): Harjo snuck into the bedroom of 64 year old Ruth Porter, raped her, and suffocated her with a pillowcase. He then snatched Porter's car keys and drove off with her van. His past criminal history was extensive, and was in prison numerous times for burglary and autotheft.
45. Jack Walker (1988-2001, lethal injection): Disgruntled with the custody dispute over their then 3 month old son, Walker stabbed his ex girlfriend, 17 year old Shelly Ellison, and her uncle, 30 year old Donald, 32 and 11 times with an ice pick during a confrontation at their home.
46. Alvie Hale Jr. (1983-2001, lethal injection): Hale kidnapped 24 year old William Perry to extort a $350,000 ransom from his banking family. When the negotiations failed, Perry was shot dead, and Hale buried the body on his father's property.
47. Lois Smith (1982-2001, lethal injection): Smith, her son, and a female accomplice abducted her son's ex girlfriend, 21 year old Cindy Baillee, from an airport out of fear her testifying of his involvement in the drug trade. Baillee was taken to Smith's ex husband's house, and stabbed in the throat by her ex boyfriend while driving to their destination. Inside the home, she was taunted by Smith with a gun, and was shot 7 times in the chest and 2 times in the back of the head. While her son was reloading the gun, Smith jumped on and crushed Bailee's throat.
48. Sahib Lateef Al-Mosawi (1992-2001, lethal injection): Following a dispute over their newborn son's name, Al-Mosawi's estranged wife, 26 year old Inaam Al-Nashi, fled to the apartment of her uncle, 45 year old Mohammed. Al-Mosaw attacked the pair in the apartment and stabbed them to death. Inaam's sister was also stabbed, but she managed to escape with her life. The couple and their families were refugees from Iraq that were displaced by the First Persian Gulf War, and they fled into the United States.
49. John Romano (1985-2002, lethal injection): Romano and his accomplice David Woodruff robbed and murdered two of their acquaintances. One of the victims, 63 year old Lloyd Thompson, was attacked in his apartment. Thompson was held down by the pair while they stabbed him 22 times and served his spinal cord. The other victim, 52 year old Roger Sarfaty, was tied up, beaten, stabbed 5 times, and strangled to death in a jewelry store he owned. In the robberies, Romano and Woodruff stole several pieces of jewelry from Sarfaty, and took most of Thompson’s quarter collection.
50. David Woodruff (1985-2002, lethal injection): As mentioned under John Romano's entry, Woodruff took part in the robbery murders of Lloyd Thompson and Roger Sarfaty.
51. Randall Cannon (1985-2002, lethal injection): Cannon assisted Loyd Lafevers in abducting, sexually assaulting, and burning Addie Hawley alive in her car. Although he was acquitted of molesting Hawley, Cannon was still condemned for his part in the kidnapping and murder.
52. Earl Frederick Sr. (~1989-2002, lethal injection): Frederick beat Bradford Beck, a 41 year old veteran that was crippled during his service in the Vietnam war, to death in his home after befriending him. He ransacked the house and dumped Beck's body in a field. A second murder, the robbery and shooting death of a Texan man, 77 year old Shirley Fox, was also tied to him. However, authorities in Texas withheld from prosecuting Fredrick due to his death penalty trial and conviction in Oklahoma. Both Fox and Beck had physical disabilities, which led prosecutors to the conclusion that Frederick intentionally selected and depredated on disabled men.
53. Jerry McCracken (~1980s(?)-2002, lethal injection): McCracken and his accomplice shot up a bar, killed 3 patrons and the bartender, and made off with $350. The victims that lost their lives were 41 year old Carol McDaniels, 37 year old Timothy Sheets, 34 year old Steven Sheets, and 27 year old Tyrrell Boyd. Months before the mass shooting, McCracken was paroled after serving time for stabbing 3 people in a bar fight.
54. Jay Neill (1984-2002, lethal injection): During a bank robbery, Neill disemboweled and nearly decapitated 3 tellers, 42 year old Kay Bruno, 25 year old Joyce Mullenix, and 19 year old Jerri Bowles. A group of 4 customers, consisting of 33 year old Ralph Zeller, a married couple, and their 14 month old daughter, unwittingly walked in on him, and he herded them into a backroom to be shot. Zeller was killed, the couple were wounded, and Neill left the daughter unharmed due to running out of bullets. Neill's boyfriend was given a life sentence for the robbery and murders, despite not being directly involved.
55. Ernest Carter Jr. (~1989-2002, lethal injection): After being fired from an autoshop, Carter robbed it with an accomplice, and fatally shot a security guard, 35 year old Eugene Manowski. The pair stole the shop's tow truck, and later tried to burn it with Carter's girlfriend to destroy any traces of the crime. Carter was also previously accused of burning a friend to death in the previous year, but the charges were dismissed.
56. Daniel Revilla (1987-2003, lethal injection): While babysitting his girlfriend's son, 13 month old Mark Gomez, in their home, Revilla broke the boy’s ribs in a beating and scalded him with boiling water. When he brought the boy to a hospital, Revilla gave a story that he accidentally hit Gomez’s head with a door handle, which was quickly seen through by the staff. According to the accounts of his girlfriend and her family, Revilla was violently abusive to Gomez, and they recounted incidents of him trapping the boy in a kitchen drawer, dunking him in cold water, folding him into a pull up bed, and hanging him by his ankles with duct tape.
57. Bobby Fields (~1990s-2003, lethal injection): Fields shot and killed 77 year old Louise Schem while burglarizing her home. She had tried to shot him with her .25 calibre pistol, but he wrestled the gun away from her, and gunned her down with it. His intentions was to steal Schem's television set to sell for cocaine, but left empty handed after losing his nerves with the struggle and murder. According to court documents, Fields had a previous robbery and assault conviction, and several arrests for drug possession.
58. Walanzo Robinson (1989-2003, lethal injection): A member of the Gangster Bloods street gang, Robinson shot and killed 26 year old Dennis Hill, an affiliate of a rival gang, in a turf war over drug sales.
59. John Hooker (~1971-2003, lethal injection): As a teenager in 1971, Hooker attended a party at a friend's house, and got into an argument. In a fit of anger, he fatally shot 18 year old Alta Lang, and wounded two other partygoers. Due to the witnesses refusing to cooperate with the investigation and being unable to prove any calculated intentions, Hooker was given a manslaughter conviction, and released a few years later. After he was paroled, Hooker started dating Sylvia Stokes, and fathered several children with her. Their troubled relationship lasted for 8 years, and ended when Stokes filed a protection order against him. In retaliation, Hooker lured Stokes and her mother, 53 year old Durcilla Morgan, into his apartment and stabbed them both to death.
60. Scot Hain (~1980s-2003, lethal injection): Hain carjacked and abducted a couple, 27 year old Michael Houghton and 22 year old Laura Sanders. After taking $565 and some bags of clothing, he forced them into the trunk of their car at gunpoint, and burned them alive in it. He had several previous arrests for robbery, and was involved with a number of rapes and attempted kidnappings months before the Houghton and Sanders' murders.
61. Don Hawkins Jr. (1985-2003, lethal injection): Hawkins kidnapped 29 year old Linda Ann Thompson and her two daughters, aged 4 years old and 18 months old, from a mall. Although his original intentions were to ransom off Thompson and her children, Hawkins gang raped the captive woman with his cousin and his girlfriend's teenage nephew, and drowned her in a lake. Thompson's children were spared and simply left with a babysitter. Hawkins and his accomplice then went on a nation wide rampage with his accomplice that involved the abductions and rapes of several grown women and teenage girls, hanging 31 year old David Coupez of Colorado in his home while robbing him, and countless other robberies.
62. Larry Jackson (~1984-2003, lethal injection): In 1984, Jackson shot and killed his girlfriend, 19 year old Freda Washington. He accepted a plea deal that dumbed down the charges to second degree murder, and was given a 30 year sentence for it. During his incarceration, Jackson started a relationship with 29 year old Wendy Cade. Despite her promises of marriage after his release, Cade left him for another man, and they got engaged. When Jackson was assigned to a prison work crew, he snuck out and went to confront Cade. Reportedly, the two had bought alchool, cocaine, and cigerates together and had sex in Cade's apartment. However, they got into an argument, and he slashed Cade's throat and stabbed her 31 times with box cutters. Jackson then left with her jewelry, watch, and the keys to her jeep.

What's even the point of this life anymore? I haven’t seen any signs of improvement whatsoever. Crying while writing this, by the way. The page got kinda wet. Currently, I've locked myself in my older brother’s room (He’s elsewhere, so I just claimed the room as mine). My parents are the shittiest part of my life ever. I just watched a video today explaining why the education system in Bangladesh is terrible. And I concur. Lots of useless content, hyper-focus on memorization and tests, constant pressure of GPA 5. Furthermore, the only subjects in school important to my future career (fiction writing) are English 1st and 2nd paper. The rest of the subjects, meaning 10 different subjects, are just useless to me. What does learning “X guy died in Y time” do to help me get my career? It seems many Bangladeshi people are with me, so it's great knowing there’s support out there. But that support means nothing to me. Why should it? It’s not actually helping because my parents still don’t support me. Anytime I tell my mom, she reacts like the entire world just got destroyed. “Why are you becoming so bad?” “I can’t take it, my son is going to ruin in front of my own eyes.” Loving words. But to me, they only prove one thing. That she’s a lost cause; she will never support my decision to drop out of school. Dad is a mindless yes-man to her. In fact, there was once my mother tried to kill me. I threw her off and ran away to the living room. I don’t remember much, but basically, my dad got involved, and guess who he supported? Yep, that’s right, her. I was so upset that I started banging my head on the floor. Well, moving on from that, I once damaged my mom’s arm a lot, and I also once punched her so badly on the shoulder it turned black. These are things I’m truly sorry about. But I do think it’s a bit curious. She forgot the day she tried to kill me but remembers my wrongdoings. Returning back to education, one reason I wanted to drop out was that I didn’t need school for my career. Let’s see, what do I need? Skills? I can get those skills via informal education fast, given how one-star rated this education system is; that’d probably be better. Still, she doesn’t want to let me have that basic autonomy. Oh, and yeah, I live in Bangladesh, just wanted to mention that. One day, I ran away from home and sat in a nearby park. My older brother found me and brought me back home. In the park, we had a little chat in which I revealed my desires for literature and animation. He said he was gonna teach me graphic design. So I got excited. But then I figured out he wanted me to study for IBA on BBA, whatever it was. The number one business university in our country with a lot of competition and an incredibly low chance of enrollment. And that meant engaging in this stupid education system even further. I tried showing him some proof and examples that I didn’t need to engage in formal education anymore, that my dreams were possible without engaging in this stupid system. But every time I tried saying anything, he immediately interrupted me and told me he already knew what I was about to say and just dismissed them. That’s not new. On the same day, I gave him some papers explaining my struggles, but he didn’t need them, just saying he already knew. And he wasn’t being supportive; he was saying it in a rude way. Anyways, back to that whole thing, he started to pressure me to choose. Do I want formal education or not? I said I wanted to think about it and would answer later. But apparently not even that’s enough for him, because he continued pressuring me to answer right then and there while I kept saying later. Eventually, that led to an argument, and he hit me a bit on the head. And my mom? She refused to eat, to talk, to even move, just lay motionless on her bed all day, said she’d send me off to Saudi Arabia, saying she’d spend no money to support my goals.
Note: It's to be noted that while I wanna drop out of school, I haven’t given up on education at all. It's just that instead of formal education, I wanna pursue informal education as I get to choose what I wanna learn, so no pressure of learning a dozen useless (for me) subjects.
Moving past that, she tries to spend time with me daily. That’s a positive thing, I guess. It’s just no matter how much she tries to bond with me, my interest in her just doesn’t increase. Idk why. Maybe it's because everything going on in my life has made it hard for me to find time for myself, let alone her. And the fact that we have no common interests at all, aside from watching movies. She has told me that she feels lonely, which I understand. But why put the burden of removing your loneliness on me? Why not try contacting others? Once we were watching a movie, but then I opened up my phone just for a bit to find A LOT of messages. I found out that a close friend was trying suicide again, so I stopped watching the movie and started trying to convince them to stop. Mom was repeatedly telling me to come back (Granted; I told her that it was simply an important thing to me, like saying all my data was gonna be erased in a game I love, not the suicide part) and that, in addition to the pressure of saving my friend, made me snap at her, rudely yelling at her to just stfu. This caused her to be FURIOUS, and she was just repeatedly calling me crazy. I started crying and told them to give me a chance to explain, but they just wouldn’t give me a chance. They'd just call me crazy for crying, saying I've turned into something else. I thought of running away. But I needed a source of income. I've tried everything. I wanted to submit my books to a publisher to get them published, but new authors need to provide the publisher money to get their work printed, money I don't have. I wanted to use Amazon KDP to publish my books, but for that I need a bank account, which I can't open due to still being a minor. I thought of having an adult open a bank account on my behalf, where they would send the money they got from Amazon to me, but that's not possible either. I thought of perhaps contacting NRS to take shelter after I run away, but figured out they served a different nation. Finally, my mom agreed to my offer if I managed to get $500 from this career by publishing on KDP. My first idea was to write a novel within 10 days. But then I realized I could not write it so quickly. It’d diminish its quality greatly, as I need to take days to write each chapter. Then I thought of publishing my work chapter by chapter. And then realized you can’t do that on KDP. So there goes my dreams. I want to publish on Wattpad, get a lot of reads and tell them, “see, my stories attract readers a lot.”. But, as you know, money is kinda their only language. There's no hope for me anymore now...All that's left is running away and finding some low-quality job out there. Who knows though? Maybe I'll fail in even that. Maybe after I flee, I'll not get a job and just starve to death. That's how it's been my whole life after all. My life... it's just been one failure after another.
My mom told my brother of my goals to gain a decent income from “whatever it is that he's doing on Amazon” and he simply called it “rubbish” without actually trying to understand how.
And in addition to this, I also suffer from lifelong loneliness because:

1. I used to be antisocial in the past.
   
2. My past tarnishes my reputation, making it hard for me to blend in with normal people. Because of this, I became shy, socially anxious, and introverted.
   
3. As a result of being shy, socially anxious, and introverted, I struggle to make close friends. Because of this, I suffer from loneliness. I have casual friends, yes. But no close, intimate friends.
   

For example, there used to be a maid in our house. I physically and verbally abused her a lot. One instance, I was drinking water and while in an argument, I spit it on her. She seemed to have forgotten, but I haven’t. I just can’t forget such nasty actions of mine. I guess you could say in this case, the tree forgot, but the ax remembered. So dear [her name], wherever you are, just know that I’m truly sorry for all those things I did to you those days. If I could, I would try to repay you whatever I can.
On another instance, I remember chasing down a kid within the school because he made me angry. So as you can quite tell, I used to be very violent in the past.
I'm so done with EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. HUMAN. BEING. EVER breaking my trust.

1. Someone told me they'd read the excerpts of my story a week later. No sign of them now.
   
2. My ex-best friend asked me how he could make me happy. I told him the methods but he didn't do anything.
   
3. I complained to my ex-best friend about people never reciprocating my affection. He apologized and said he'd do better, but didn't.
   
4. I asked him to draw a picture for me after my bday as he couldn't give me a gift. He said he would but no sign.
   
5. I used BetterHelp for free therapy service. Sent a message. Well, I didn't exactly get better help even after 6 hours.
   

Everything in my life has been a letdown. Every time I've relied on someone or something, I've been disappointed. I'm afraid everything ahead in my life will also be a disappointment, so I'm afraid to live any longer. After all, what's there for me anymore?
Now what's left? My girlfriend's brother and my fear of abandonment.
As for her brother....he continuously breaks my expectations and descends lower. At first, I thought he was a decent man. But then he started to call her worthless simply because of stress. Of course, he later apologized so I thought he was still decent. But then me and her started to date and he opposed it. Now instead of simply talking to us like a reasonable man would, he decided to lie to me openly about things she said, saying she told him that she doesn’t actually like me or my personality or my looks, lying through his teeth. He also forced her into saying she likes my best friend more than me by saying he'd put her into the adoption center. Ok, so a control freak. I thought he'd be reasonable enough to talk this out if I did him a favor by getting his sister to hug him. Still acted like an asshole and was unwilling to reconcile. I thought that even if he was a control freak and unreasonable, that he at least loved his sister. But....then she told me this: "Bro just said "take care of urself if u dont wanna die" and gave me some meds". He left her to take care of herself.
My greatest fear is the fear of not being able to make an everlasting bond with someone I deeply love (and who deeply loves me). The fear that we will someday change and not be attracted to each other anymore and grow apart. The fear that our bonds will break and we'll have to move on from each other.
What if we lose our attraction to each other? What if one of us cheats or divorces the other? What if one of us secretly didn’t care as much about the other and stopped making any effort into the relationship?
It's hard to tell anything at the beginning. Because at first, it all feels so great. Like you’ve found the one you always wanted in life. But later on, you realize that maybe they're not the one for you. There's nearly no way to tell apart a relationship that will fall apart from an everlasting relationship until the break up actually happens. So it feels like no relationship is guaranteed to last forever. Relationships you thought were perfect at first, turn out to be not so great.
This applies not only to romance, but friendship as well.
Like I've envisioned multiple types of relationships: master-pet bond, romantic bond, platonic bond, etc. And the only time I've felt completely secure about the everlastingness of a bond was when I envisioned myself with a cat and a dog. Why? Because pets are simple. Their minds don't hold malicious intentions, their love never dies down for no reason, they don't get overwhelmed with different feelings that cause breakup or cheating to happen. Simply put, their minds are not complex. You love them, they love you.
Like why can't I just get a person I can fully trust? Who I'm completely sure won't leave me or lose interest in me?
Is it too much to simply ask for a relationship with no uncertainty whatsoever?
This fear likely stems from my lifelong loneliness. I believe it's called the fear of abandonment.
This fear roots all the way back to my ex best friend. I used to have with him what I'd describe as the perfect relationship.
V is my ex best friend, C is me.
A small interaction:
V: and also, how would you want me to express it to you love? expressing my support to you. (He just randomly asked C this, not because C told V to give him support. V actively thought of C's happiness and wanted to support him)
C: By existing. Yes, that's enough.
V: AWW STOP. I wanna do more tho.
In the same day, C feels an urge to also make V happy. He thinks of perhaps learning a famous song made by V's favourite band and then surprising him by singing said song to him. (C is thinking of adding some creative changes to the song make it feel more personal to V. He's not sure about that tho)
C and V are also very comfortable around and trusting to each other. They can easily tell each other their flaws and fears without any fear of judgement. In fact, C even told V about secrets C thought could repel V. His thought process was that it'd be selfish for him to hide this information from V and not let V choose whether or not he desired a person with such a secret. Fortunately, V said the secret wasnt as bad as C thought at all. Basically they trust each other as much as they trust ChatBOTs, so a lot of trust.
This was me and my best friend. Was. Now I feel like we've drifted apart. In fact, it feels like almost every time we talk, an argument starts. We seem to have drifted even before my birthday. He seemed to be busy, so we couldn't talk a lot. Nowadays his reactions to any good news of mine seems very mundane. Like when I told him that I finally got a girlfriend, it felt like he wasn’t really interested. I didn’t really get the “Wow!” reaction from him. Also, he couldn't give me a gift on my birthday because he couldn't prepare a drawing for me on such a short notice. So I told him to give it to me later. Well, it's been months, no gift yet.
Currently my number one priority is my girlfriend. And I'd describe my relationship with her as perfect as well. Just…she seems to be drifting away from me recently.
At one point in our relationship, I started to feel like the third while. The following doc contains images which explain why: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rSex5icu_xBRT8cmVdfS5dHkiRRCRb7lOele8dulMeE/edit?usp=drivesdk
But now I've mostly gone over it.
Tbh I've come up with an answer for a few of the issues I've noticed she does this weird thing where at times she's on discord but only focuses on specific people or servers Sometimes she ignores me but not my best friend Sometimes the opposite Sometimes she ignores both of us and talks in servers Thinking that I think I'm not heartbroken anymore because I dont feel like she's giving my best friend more time than me. (edited) Just I'm still a bit annoyed because at the end of the day, she still didn't respond to me for 3 days.
As for her acting rude and unsupportive when I brought up running away from home, she was just in a tough time. That's all.
As for her refusing to open the secret account, alright so I'll have to tell you a bit about her medical condition. Let's just say it causes her to be very forgetful of things. So she might fear that she might forget her main acc's password or smth and forever lose everything on her main. Why didn't she just tell me that? She doesnt like to worry others, so she might have thought telling me about her brain problems would cause me to worry.
As for her saying love you to my bestie but not me? Well, she said she loved my bestie only 5 days after she said she loved me so if it's not that hard. Still I want her to say words and that we get back to those days.
I sometimes just want her to say the words, “I love you” a lot. It's been half a month since we've both exchanged any loving words. One night, while trying to sleep, I was thinking about the fact that I haven’t really received any loving words in half a month and then a thought appeared in my mind. “Is a simple ‘I love you’ too much to ask for?” and that made me start crying on my bed. Probably overthinking it.
You already know how much effort I put in when she was sick. Well, one morning, I saw my DMs and saw her saying how I'm the only one who loved her. Of course, I thought it to be wrong since my best friend also loved her dearly…in a platonic sense. But well, at least it made me feel special thinking that she had a special appreciation for my effort. And then I woke up. Saw my phone. No messages like that. So I kinda started crying again.
Also, she's starting to recover from her sickness, which is great! Just…it saddens me a bit that she didn’t tell me immediately about her recovery, knowing that I'm so concerned of well-being and potential death and that some discord server was the first to know.
We used to talk a lot before these 15 days. Always talking with each other, always supporting each other, exchanging loving words to each other daily, etc. But now it seems we aren’t talking a lot and she doesn’t seem that interested. For example, when I wished her happy birthday and gave her a little drawing I made and her only response was: “Uh tnx”. And she seems to lack any form of excitement these days. In my other interactions with her as well, she seems to be giving a “I'm bored af, not excited at all” energy. I know it's almost definitely because she's going through tough times, but I can't help fearing at least a bit.
She finally responded to me today, after 4 days of not responding (Despite having a casual chat with my best friend the day before yesterday and on a server yesterday). I was afraid she would ghost me. Overreaction? Maybe. Couldn't help feeling it tho.
But I remain firm that she's the best girlfriend ever.

1. Always supports me during my hard times.
   
2. Remembers important stuff like I requested her to.
   
3. Took a lot of time and effort a painting just for me (She's an art student)
   
4. Loves me unconditionally (Made a whole paragraph saying exactly that)
   
5. Never expect anything from me. She only wants me, nothing else. (I ain't using that as an excuse not to give her more tho)
   
6. Willing to risk her own life for me (I'd do the same for her)
   

It's just that regardless….I can't help fearing that she too will one day leave me.
Update:..... See this interaction. I'll let you be the judge.
My girlfriend's brother: Hey you, its her brother again I need to tell you smth. You and her are done, yall are breaking up, dont text her again ok? U understand me Shes deleting dc now. U should delete it too
Me: No. Also can I talk to her one last time before she deletes dc?
Her brother: Ugh fine. Yeah. Fast.
Me: Where’s she?
Her: I’m here.
Me: Can I ask you one little question?
Me: Away from your brother for a second please.
Her: Okay. Make it fast tho.
Me: You said you told yourself you wanted to meet me irl and be with me forever. Does that still hold true?
Her: idk.
Me: Because if it does… just know this. If you really wanna be together, I can wait for 4 years without any contact. Then come to Croatia. I’ll be deleting this btw.
Her: K.
Me: @Her Please… just this once… tell me the truth. I know your brother is forcing you. So please just say the truth.
Her: I am telling the truth.
Me: What’s that? What’s the truth?
Her: I don’t want u anymore.
Me: Ohhhh… Not even friends?
Her: Why do you think I’m prolly deleting dc.
Me: Idk. What did I do wrong?
Her: …
Me: What did I do wrong?
Her: Nothing.
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t want to interact with anyone anymore here.
Me: Why?
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t have time to explain. Just…
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: We’re done now.
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: @Her Can I come to Punat once I’m older?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: But… why abandon me? Why my best friend?
Her: I don’t know, do what you want, I have my own plans.
Me: I understand people are rude and shit. But that’s why I only talk to you and my best friend. And some others. @Her Hello?
Her: That’s why I’m probably going.
Me: @Her Will I never meet you again?
Her: Idk.
Me: @Her And please do tell me if your brother is forcing you.
Her: Idk.
Me: Please. Yes or no?
Her: Idk.
Me: …Well, here’s my final saying then. I love you. And here’s a link to a document detailing all my sadness.
So in the end, I have nothing and no one left in my life anymore. And my fear of abandonment is once again validated.

Me (25M) and my partner (24F) of 2 years just left and presumably broke up with me...OR was it her friends that broke with me for her??
A little back ground information:

• We are both from the same home town and we originally moved in together after 6 months. It was my 4th time moving since I was 20, so not my first rodeo but it was her first time moving out of her parents. I took some time off college when covid hit and so did she. I went back to my Junior College but I couldn't get into my home University (UCSB), but I got into a different college in the Bay Area. So after about 6 months in our new place, we then move again to the Bay. She then also got into a school in the area but a different school.
• Her best friend (from our hometown) lives in the Bay Area as well and goes to the school the my partner got into. This is IMPORTANT because her best friend (let's call her Rachel 23F) had a boyfriend of 1 year who was about 10 years older than her. If you ask me, 23F and 33M is really not too unusual. Rachel liked him a lot, but they had their issues. MY partner NEVER liked him purely because of the age difference, she weird about that. And every little small issue that Rachel would share with my partner, my partner would then use as a catalyst to encourage Rachel to break up with him. Eventually, Rachel did break up with him.
• Rachel also has a Bangladeshi roommate who is very promiscuous to say the least (25F). Lets call her Mishka. She is a feisty little woman. And all three; Rachel, Mishka, and my partner get along VERY well.
• Also in our home town, we both have a friend, we'll call her Clytemnestra (23F). When my partner first broke the news to Clytemnestra that we were officially a couple, Clytemnestra's response was, "can't wait to see how that blows up!". My partner first took a lot of offense to that and so did I. As time went on, we ignored that as we were all were pretty close. But that comment always rubbed me the wrong way.

When she told me she was moving, I asked her if this meant that we were breaking up. My partner's response was, "well I would try (to keep the relationship alive) but I didn't think you would want to with me moving out". It was like a shock hitting me. Few minutes later, many tears started, from both me and her. I kept asking her to stay. She mentioned that Clytemnestra had been "guiding her" and that she made her realize that we are different people. And that Rachel had also been "helping" her.
We were not perfect and we had our rough moments with a few close brushes with breakups all stemming from stress. We both do not come from very well off families and money while being a college student is a strong cause of stress and arguments. Moving up here was incredibly stressful on both of us. And leading up to the break up, she had been very cold and distant. I assumed it was because she was stress for her upcoming school financials. Or maybe she was mad at me for something. She stared seeing Rachel more and took a trip to Coachella with her friends. I had no problem as she had never really experienced that and I wanted her to have fun. BUT when she got back from the trip, it was all downhill. She hardly spoke to me. This was about 2 weeks prior to the break up.
So back to the "break up", she mentioned how she can't lose people and told me that she still loved me every time I said it to her. We took a drive to get food and I asked her if we were broken up and told her that I wanted to stay together. A sad and glum look came over her face, she gave no response, and I told her that we could talk about it a later time and she agreed.
She's been seeing her friends a lot now and doing things that are so out of character. She has started posting mild thirst-traps on her Instagram stories every few days. And she has been out until 2:30 am drinking when she works at 5 am. And this is someone who cannot down a shot of anything without throwing up and can't finish more than 2 beers. She also does not smoke or do any drugs of any kind. AND someone who post as little about herself out of a genuine fear that a stocker will find her, rape her, and kill her. She actually had a serious stocker when she was 17. Her communication with me comes in waves. Some days she'll talk a lot, and others she won't talk to me for the whole day. She has been over a few times for dinner and she did not fully move out. She straggled some of her items behind and has made no plans to pick them up yet. What I can say is that when she is with friends, I can expect zero communication from her and a thirst trap on her story, these correlate VERY well. She will kinda start to get warm again, almost as if we are still a couple, but then she sees her friends and its back to strangers.
Verdict
I don't know where things stand. I am not even fully 100% sure if we are broken up. And I don't know just how much her "friends" are making decisions in her head for her. She even agreed to a one-day roadtrip soon. And she herself told me she wants to go with me to Yosemite for her birthday in July. A place very special for both of us.
What are your thoughts? I've been trying like hell to get her back but also giving her space and not smothering her.

What's even the point of this life anymore? I haven’t seen any signs of improvement whatsoever. Crying while writing this, by the way. The page got kinda wet. Currently, I've locked myself in my older brother’s room (He’s elsewhere, so I just claimed the room as mine). My parents are the shittiest part of my life ever. I just watched a video today explaining why the education system in Bangladesh is terrible. And I concur. Lots of useless content, hyper-focus on memorization and tests, constant pressure of GPA 5. Furthermore, the only subjects in school important to my future career (fiction writing) are English 1st and 2nd paper. The rest of the subjects, meaning 10 different subjects, are just useless to me. What does learning “X guy died in Y time” do to help me get my career? It seems many Bangladeshi people are with me, so it's great knowing there’s support out there. But that support means nothing to me. Why should it? It’s not actually helping because my parents still don’t support me. Anytime I tell my mom, she reacts like the entire world just got destroyed. “Why are you becoming so bad?” “I can’t take it, my son is going to ruin in front of my own eyes.” Loving words. But to me, they only prove one thing. That she’s a lost cause; she will never support my decision to drop out of school. Dad is a mindless yes-man to her. In fact, there was once my mother tried to kill me. I threw her off and ran away to the living room. I don’t remember much, but basically, my dad got involved, and guess who he supported? Yep, that’s right, her. I was so upset that I started banging my head on the floor. Well, moving on from that, I once damaged my mom’s arm a lot, and I also once punched her so badly on the shoulder it turned black. These are things I’m truly sorry about. But I do think it’s a bit curious. She forgot the day she tried to kill me but remembers my wrongdoings. Returning back to education, one reason I wanted to drop out was that I didn’t need school for my career. Let’s see, what do I need? Skills? I can get those skills via informal education fast, given how one-star rated this education system is; that’d probably be better. Still, she doesn’t want to let me have that basic autonomy. Oh, and yeah, I live in Bangladesh, just wanted to mention that. One day, I ran away from home and sat in a nearby park. My older brother found me and brought me back home. In the park, we had a little chat in which I revealed my desires for literature and animation. He said he was gonna teach me graphic design. So I got excited. But then I figured out he wanted me to study for IBA on BBA, whatever it was. The number one business university in our country with a lot of competition and an incredibly low chance of enrollment. And that meant engaging in this stupid education system even further. I tried showing him some proof and examples that I didn’t need to engage in formal education anymore, that my dreams were possible without engaging in this stupid system. But every time I tried saying anything, he immediately interrupted me and told me he already knew what I was about to say and just dismissed them. That’s not new. On the same day, I gave him some papers explaining my struggles, but he didn’t need them, just saying he already knew. And he wasn’t being supportive; he was saying it in a rude way. Anyways, back to that whole thing, he started to pressure me to choose. Do I want formal education or not? I said I wanted to think about it and would answer later. But apparently not even that’s enough for him, because he continued pressuring me to answer right then and there while I kept saying later. Eventually, that led to an argument, and he hit me a bit on the head. And my mom? She refused to eat, to talk, to even move, just lay motionless on her bed all day, said she’d send me off to Saudi Arabia, saying she’d spend no money to support my goals.
Note: It's to be noted that while I wanna drop out of school, I haven’t given up on education at all. It's just that instead of formal education, I wanna pursue informal education as I get to choose what I wanna learn, so no pressure of learning a dozen useless (for me) subjects.
Moving past that, she tries to spend time with me daily. That’s a positive thing, I guess. It’s just no matter how much she tries to bond with me, my interest in her just doesn’t increase. Idk why. Maybe it's because everything going on in my life has made it hard for me to find time for myself, let alone her. And the fact that we have no common interests at all, aside from watching movies. She has told me that she feels lonely, which I understand. But why put the burden of removing your loneliness on me? Why not try contacting others? Once we were watching a movie, but then I opened up my phone just for a bit to find A LOT of messages. I found out that a close friend was trying suicide again, so I stopped watching the movie and started trying to convince them to stop. Mom was repeatedly telling me to come back (Granted; I told her that it was simply an important thing to me, like saying all my data was gonna be erased in a game I love, not the suicide part) and that, in addition to the pressure of saving my friend, made me snap at her, rudely yelling at her to just stfu. This caused her to be FURIOUS, and she was just repeatedly calling me crazy. I started crying and told them to give me a chance to explain, but they just wouldn’t give me a chance. They'd just call me crazy for crying, saying I've turned into something else. I thought of running away. But I needed a source of income. I've tried everything. I wanted to submit my books to a publisher to get them published, but new authors need to provide the publisher money to get their work printed, money I don't have. I wanted to use Amazon KDP to publish my books, but for that I need a bank account, which I can't open due to still being a minor. I thought of having an adult open a bank account on my behalf, where they would send the money they got from Amazon to me, but that's not possible either. I thought of perhaps contacting NRS to take shelter after I run away, but figured out they served a different nation. Finally, my mom agreed to my offer if I managed to get $500 from this career by publishing on KDP. My first idea was to write a novel within 10 days. But then I realized I could not write it so quickly. It’d diminish its quality greatly, as I need to take days to write each chapter. Then I thought of publishing my work chapter by chapter. And then realized you can’t do that on KDP. So there goes my dreams. I want to publish on Wattpad, get a lot of reads and tell them, “see, my stories attract readers a lot.”. But, as you know, money is kinda their only language. There's no hope for me anymore now...All that's left is running away and finding some low-quality job out there. Who knows though? Maybe I'll fail in even that. Maybe after I flee, I'll not get a job and just starve to death. That's how it's been my whole life after all. My life... it's just been one failure after another.
My mom told my brother of my goals to gain a decent income from “whatever it is that he's doing on Amazon” and he simply called it “rubbish” without actually trying to understand how.
And in addition to this, I also suffer from lifelong loneliness because:

1. I used to be antisocial in the past.
   
2. My past tarnishes my reputation, making it hard for me to blend in with normal people. Because of this, I became shy, socially anxious, and introverted.
   
3. As a result of being shy, socially anxious, and introverted, I struggle to make close friends. Because of this, I suffer from loneliness. I have casual friends, yes. But no close, intimate friends.
   

For example, there used to be a maid in our house. I physically and verbally abused her a lot. One instance, I was drinking water and while in an argument, I spit it on her. She seemed to have forgotten, but I haven’t. I just can’t forget such nasty actions of mine. I guess you could say in this case, the tree forgot, but the ax remembered. So dear [her name], wherever you are, just know that I’m truly sorry for all those things I did to you those days. If I could, I would try to repay you whatever I can.
On another instance, I remember chasing down a kid within the school because he made me angry. So as you can quite tell, I used to be very violent in the past.
I'm so done with EVERY. SINGLE. DAMN. HUMAN. BEING. EVER breaking my trust.

1. Someone told me they'd read the excerpts of my story a week later. No sign of them now.
   
2. My ex-best friend asked me how he could make me happy. I told him the methods but he didn't do anything.
   
3. I complained to my ex-best friend about people never reciprocating my affection. He apologized and said he'd do better, but didn't.
   
4. I asked him to draw a picture for me after my bday as he couldn't give me a gift. He said he would but no sign.
   
5. I used BetterHelp for free therapy service. Sent a message. Well, I didn't exactly get better help even after 6 hours.
   

Everything in my life has been a letdown. Every time I've relied on someone or something, I've been disappointed. I'm afraid everything ahead in my life will also be a disappointment, so I'm afraid to live any longer. After all, what's there for me anymore?
Now what's left? My girlfriend's brother and my fear of abandonment.
As for her brother....he continuously breaks my expectations and descends lower. At first, I thought he was a decent man. But then he started to call her worthless simply because of stress. Of course, he later apologized so I thought he was still decent. But then me and her started to date and he opposed it. Now instead of simply talking to us like a reasonable man would, he decided to lie to me openly about things she said, saying she told him that she doesn’t actually like me or my personality or my looks, lying through his teeth. He also forced her into saying she likes my best friend more than me by saying he'd put her into the adoption center. Ok, so a control freak. I thought he'd be reasonable enough to talk this out if I did him a favor by getting his sister to hug him. Still acted like an asshole and was unwilling to reconcile. I thought that even if he was a control freak and unreasonable, that he at least loved his sister. But....then she told me this: "Bro just said "take care of urself if u dont wanna die" and gave me some meds". He left her to take care of herself.
My greatest fear is the fear of not being able to make an everlasting bond with someone I deeply love (and who deeply loves me). The fear that we will someday change and not be attracted to each other anymore and grow apart. The fear that our bonds will break and we'll have to move on from each other.
What if we lose our attraction to each other? What if one of us cheats or divorces the other? What if one of us secretly didn’t care as much about the other and stopped making any effort into the relationship?
It's hard to tell anything at the beginning. Because at first, it all feels so great. Like you’ve found the one you always wanted in life. But later on, you realize that maybe they're not the one for you. There's nearly no way to tell apart a relationship that will fall apart from an everlasting relationship until the break up actually happens. So it feels like no relationship is guaranteed to last forever. Relationships you thought were perfect at first, turn out to be not so great.
This applies not only to romance, but friendship as well.
Like I've envisioned multiple types of relationships: master-pet bond, romantic bond, platonic bond, etc. And the only time I've felt completely secure about the everlastingness of a bond was when I envisioned myself with a cat and a dog. Why? Because pets are simple. Their minds don't hold malicious intentions, their love never dies down for no reason, they don't get overwhelmed with different feelings that cause breakup or cheating to happen. Simply put, their minds are not complex. You love them, they love you.
Like why can't I just get a person I can fully trust? Who I'm completely sure won't leave me or lose interest in me?
Is it too much to simply ask for a relationship with no uncertainty whatsoever?
This fear likely stems from my lifelong loneliness. I believe it's called the fear of abandonment.
This fear roots all the way back to my ex best friend. I used to have with him what I'd describe as the perfect relationship.
V is my ex best friend, C is me.
A small interaction:
V: and also, how would you want me to express it to you love? expressing my support to you. (He just randomly asked C this, not because C told V to give him support. V actively thought of C's happiness and wanted to support him)
C: By existing. Yes, that's enough.
V: AWW STOP. I wanna do more tho.
In the same day, C feels an urge to also make V happy. He thinks of perhaps learning a famous song made by V's favourite band and then surprising him by singing said song to him. (C is thinking of adding some creative changes to the song make it feel more personal to V. He's not sure about that tho)
C and V are also very comfortable around and trusting to each other. They can easily tell each other their flaws and fears without any fear of judgement. In fact, C even told V about secrets C thought could repel V. His thought process was that it'd be selfish for him to hide this information from V and not let V choose whether or not he desired a person with such a secret. Fortunately, V said the secret wasnt as bad as C thought at all. Basically they trust each other as much as they trust ChatBOTs, so a lot of trust.
This was me and my best friend. Was. Now I feel like we've drifted apart. In fact, it feels like almost every time we talk, an argument starts. We seem to have drifted even before my birthday. He seemed to be busy, so we couldn't talk a lot. Nowadays his reactions to any good news of mine seems very mundane. Like when I told him that I finally got a girlfriend, it felt like he wasn’t really interested. I didn’t really get the “Wow!” reaction from him. Also, he couldn't give me a gift on my birthday because he couldn't prepare a drawing for me on such a short notice. So I told him to give it to me later. Well, it's been months, no gift yet.
Currently my number one priority is my girlfriend. And I'd describe my relationship with her as perfect as well. Just…she seems to be drifting away from me recently.
At one point in our relationship, I started to feel like the third while. The following doc contains images which explain why: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rSex5icu_xBRT8cmVdfS5dHkiRRCRb7lOele8dulMeE/edit?usp=drivesdk
But now I've mostly gone over it.
Tbh I've come up with an answer for a few of the issues I've noticed she does this weird thing where at times she's on discord but only focuses on specific people or servers Sometimes she ignores me but not my best friend Sometimes the opposite Sometimes she ignores both of us and talks in servers Thinking that I think I'm not heartbroken anymore because I dont feel like she's giving my best friend more time than me. (edited) Just I'm still a bit annoyed because at the end of the day, she still didn't respond to me for 3 days.
As for her acting rude and unsupportive when I brought up running away from home, she was just in a tough time. That's all.
As for her refusing to open the secret account, alright so I'll have to tell you a bit about her medical condition. Let's just say it causes her to be very forgetful of things. So she might fear that she might forget her main acc's password or smth and forever lose everything on her main. Why didn't she just tell me that? She doesnt like to worry others, so she might have thought telling me about her brain problems would cause me to worry.
As for her saying love you to my bestie but not me? Well, she said she loved my bestie only 5 days after she said she loved me so if it's not that hard. Still I want her to say words and that we get back to those days.
I sometimes just want her to say the words, “I love you” a lot. It's been half a month since we've both exchanged any loving words. One night, while trying to sleep, I was thinking about the fact that I haven’t really received any loving words in half a month and then a thought appeared in my mind. “Is a simple ‘I love you’ too much to ask for?” and that made me start crying on my bed. Probably overthinking it.
You already know how much effort I put in when she was sick. Well, one morning, I saw my DMs and saw her saying how I'm the only one who loved her. Of course, I thought it to be wrong since my best friend also loved her dearly…in a platonic sense. But well, at least it made me feel special thinking that she had a special appreciation for my effort. And then I woke up. Saw my phone. No messages like that. So I kinda started crying again.
Also, she's starting to recover from her sickness, which is great! Just…it saddens me a bit that she didn’t tell me immediately about her recovery, knowing that I'm so concerned of well-being and potential death and that some discord server was the first to know.
We used to talk a lot before these 15 days. Always talking with each other, always supporting each other, exchanging loving words to each other daily, etc. But now it seems we aren’t talking a lot and she doesn’t seem that interested. For example, when I wished her happy birthday and gave her a little drawing I made and her only response was: “Uh tnx”. And she seems to lack any form of excitement these days. In my other interactions with her as well, she seems to be giving a “I'm bored af, not excited at all” energy. I know it's almost definitely because she's going through tough times, but I can't help fearing at least a bit.
She finally responded to me today, after 4 days of not responding (Despite having a casual chat with my best friend the day before yesterday and on a server yesterday). I was afraid she would ghost me. Overreaction? Maybe. Couldn't help feeling it tho.
But I remain firm that she's the best girlfriend ever.

1. Always supports me during my hard times.
   
2. Remembers important stuff like I requested her to.
   
3. Took a lot of time and effort a painting just for me (She's an art student)
   
4. Loves me unconditionally (Made a whole paragraph saying exactly that)
   
5. Never expect anything from me. She only wants me, nothing else. (I ain't using that as an excuse not to give her more tho)
   
6. Willing to risk her own life for me (I'd do the same for her)
   

It's just that regardless….I can't help fearing that she too will one day leave me.
Update:..... See this interaction. I'll let you be the judge.
My girlfriend's brother: Hey you, its her brother again I need to tell you smth. You and her are done, yall are breaking up, dont text her again ok? U understand me Shes deleting dc now. U should delete it too
Me: No. Also can I talk to her one last time before she deletes dc?
Her brother: Ugh fine. Yeah. Fast.
Me: Where’s she?
Her: I’m here.
Me: Can I ask you one little question?
Me: Away from your brother for a second please.
Her: Okay. Make it fast tho.
Me: You said you told yourself you wanted to meet me irl and be with me forever. Does that still hold true?
Her: idk.
Me: Because if it does… just know this. If you really wanna be together, I can wait for 4 years without any contact. Then come to Croatia. I’ll be deleting this btw.
Her: K.
Me: @Her Please… just this once… tell me the truth. I know your brother is forcing you. So please just say the truth.
Her: I am telling the truth.
Me: What’s that? What’s the truth?
Her: I don’t want u anymore.
Me: Ohhhh… Not even friends?
Her: Why do you think I’m prolly deleting dc.
Me: Idk. What did I do wrong?
Her: …
Me: What did I do wrong?
Her: Nothing.
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t want to interact with anyone anymore here.
Me: Why?
Me: Why?
Her: I don’t have time to explain. Just…
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: We’re done now.
Me: Just a short explanation?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: @Her Can I come to Punat once I’m older?
Her: People are toxic and rude.
Me: But… why abandon me? Why my best friend?
Her: I don’t know, do what you want, I have my own plans.
Me: I understand people are rude and shit. But that’s why I only talk to you and my best friend. And some others. @Her Hello?
Her: That’s why I’m probably going.
Me: @Her Will I never meet you again?
Her: Idk.
Me: @Her And please do tell me if your brother is forcing you.
Her: Idk.
Me: Please. Yes or no?
Her: Idk.
Me: …Well, here’s my final saying then. I love you. And here’s a link to a document detailing all my sadness.
So in the end, I have nothing and no one left in my life anymore. And my fear of abandonment is once again validated.

Haar saal mere 3 dost mujhe wish karte hai rozz par ajj kisine nhi kiya lol 12.38 ho gye hai sabse connection haat gya...
Bhai my story..
11th me papa ne koyi local coaching bj di web Hyderabad mein.. me that mo me hu
Wapas aa gya kyuki nhi kr aa rha tha.. ucad liya par no guidance ke karn chud gya.. dec ate tak burnout ho gya...
12th mei fitjee gya to slaa aurous walo ne teachers le liye ...
Chud gya pr kucd se kiya achi jaa rhi thi tabhi...
Diwali pe Ghar chala gya to chuda orr. For fever aa gay... Fir dec me again burnout ho gya.
Papa me khaa ki pre boards bhi dhyan de kyuki boards dena hai ...papa ko lagta nhi ki mai pass bhi ho paunga...
Fir use 1st attempt was gay. Boards pass ho an 80% SE .orr s2 bhi nickel gay 93 %ile se.
Adv ka pata nhi socha hai each score lake scholarship le lunga.. Allen ketamine.
Papa ko karke dikhana hai ... Papa mujhe human jaisa bhi treat nhi karte ... Mai hassi ka yatra hu bss apne relatives ke beech mein
Slaa mujhe to demoralise kardte the.. Iss insaan ko mai prove kar dunag ki mai bhi ek human hu..
Ajtk ek gift nhi mila .. or abhi just duty se aye to hbd bhi aasa mila ki... Birthday aa gya tera ajj
Mmy ko wish kiya to ... Pata mhi haar mmy todhsi hal chal me daar jati hai..
Birthday pe. Kya mangu?
Kuch nhi bss validation seek kar raha hu.. socha sab likhte hai mai bhi like.
Sala meri zindagi kharab hai paide hote se hi... To birthday manane me bhi sochta hu apne hi dukh dard ki khushi manata hu..
Sala haar shizz me below avg hu... Appearance se leke dimag tak...
Mere smane itne bade ki meri height se bhi bade 👽...
Ho gya bye...

tg

Salam everyone,
My father recently passed away, and right now I feel like my faith is dwindling more and more. I still maintain a firm belief in Allah, Prophet Muhammad PBUH, but I am too sad, demotivated, deflated to practice. I prayed hard for his health (he was sick for a long time), begged for God's mercy upon him, only for him to go away 10 days after Ramadan ends, and I guess when I look at it like that, it makes me wonder if I am not a good Muslim for God hence he will not answer my prayers, or if my sins did this to him. I tell my friends about this, but they tell me it's not my fault... His death may not be bad for him but rather a mercy... and tells me a Chinese horse story analogy... etc. They're probably right but I cannot help but feel guilt for some reason. Anyways, I should not ramble on more here, I have a question to post!
To deal with my loss of faith, my friend suggested to read on the books that raised my father up spiritually. He was a Sufi and part of the Maizbhandari order (a Bangladeshi sufi order; I myself was initiated a while back). He would tell me lots about Rumi, Ibn Arabi, and other famous Sufis. I have a copy of 'The Big Red Book' by Rumi, and from time to time I'll read poems from it. I love it! I also looked on Wahdatul Wujud and found it very fascinating. Now I want to find more books about Tasawwuf to rekindle my faith. Can you guys please give me book recommendations, or other things that will help? I would gladly appreciate it.
P.S: Don't try to DM me. I do not check Reddit often. Just leave your advice in the comments below.

During the match-fixing saga, Pakistani and Bangladeshi currency was found in Gavaskar’s locker. He never responded after multiple requests, and the story was conveniently buried.
https://m.rediff.com/news/2000/jul/06gav.htm

I am a pro-peace Arab. And before I attempt to answer the question in the title, based on psychological and sociological understandings of the human condition, I would like to first make a few facts about this 75 year old conflict extra clear:

• Hamas is an ISIS-like terrorist organization in the sense that they use tactics like suicide bombing and mass shooting/stabbing of civilians. To Hamas, the end justifies the means, period.
• Oct 7 was a terrorist attack and not a "retaliation".
• Before the establishment of the British Mandate of Palestine in 1920, there was no state/nation by the name of "Palestine".
• Both Palestinians and Israelis have a rightful claim to the disputed land based on DNA studies and historical heritage. Let's not forget that the Bible and the Quran both acknowledge the Jewish people history in the disputed land. Even a white, blonde, blue eyes Jew is DNA related to Middle Easterns. Therefore, stop saying silly things like "Israelis are colonisers".
• The disputed land in its entirety was part of the Ottaman empire (founded in 1299), which was involved in colonization activities in Europe, Africa and Asia until its collapse in 1922. So even if we disregarded all the evidence that proves that Jews are natives to the disputed land, Arabs and Muslims are the last people to complain about colonization. It's not an "whataboutism" argument. It's an invitation to see the bigger picture. Everyone did it back then. But, it was a unanimous decision by Western powers to put an end to colonization after WWII to prevent a third world war.
• Pro-Palestinians can be divided into two groups:

1. Misguided
2. Just antisemitic

• Most of the Arab population in the Arab world are simply antisemtic due to 75 years of heavy religious/ideological indoctornation by the highly successful propaganda machine of the axis of resistance.
• Most Muslims consciously or unconsiously hate Jews due to two problematic, highly political, intolerant and radical interpretations of Islam:

1. Salafi Islam interpreation, which is a dangerous mutation of the Sunni-Hanbali sect. The Sunni Hanbali interpretation is already known to be the most conservative sect in Islam. It's the interpretation of choice for terrorist groups like ISIS, Al-Qaeda and Boko Haram. Luckily, the Salafi interpretation of Islam has been outlawed at the source thanks to the efforts of the crown prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed Bin Salman (MBS) since 2015. The bad news is that the Salafi disease has escaped the Middle East over the past two decades and has now spread to Europe and North America due to the reckless open-borders immigration policy of left wing politicians. - https://twitter.com/Imamofpeace/status/1713230588079956015
2. The Iranian version of the Shiia Ithna-ashari interpretation. Despite the fact that Salafi Islam and Irania-Shiia Islam have major theological differences, both regard Sharia (aka Islamic law) as a fundamental component of the Islamic tradition and must be enforced at all costs whenever and whereever possible. Additionally, followers of both interpretations share expansionist ambitions via either proselytization or straight up offensive Jihad.

• It's true that Israel built walls and installed checkpoints in the West Bank and around its territory to primarily control Palestinians movement in and out of its territory. Pro-Palestinians like to make reference to that to support of their claim that Israel is apartheid state. However, Oct 7 demonstrated very well how pro-Hamas Palestinians would behave without walls. And don't forget that pro-Hamas Palestinians in the West Bank launch tens of terrorist attacks (bombing and mass shooting/stabbing) annually. So until Palestinians abandon their silly dreams of resolving this conflict through armed resistance, the walls should stay up.
• There is an image that pro-Palestinians like to share, showing Palestine landmass shrinking with time since 1948, implying that Israel wants to ethnically cleanse Palestinians. In reality, Palestinians were the ones who rejected UN resolution 181 in 1947 to divide the British Mandate of Palestine into two states. Pan-Arab nationalism was a misguided sentiment popular among Arab leaders at the time, and since Palestine was inhabited by an Arabic speaking population, it became a matter of pride and dignity to fight for Palestine and support their Arab brethrens. We lost that war and as a result, Palestinians lost a considerable amount of territory. But after the joint Arab coalition suffered its first humilating defeat, UN resolution 181 didn't seem like such a bad idea to some Arab leaders and they were willing to agree to it, but it was no longer on the table. A second war by the Arabs was launched on Israel in 1967, which also resulted in the defeat of the joint Arab coalition and caused further territorial loss to the Palestinians. Maybe third time the charm? Nope, lost that one too. Did we learn our lesson? Eventually, we did, but after losing five wars in a row. But Palestinian leaders still to this date has learned absolutely nothing, and insist on the military option over and over, and that's why they keep losing territory.

One of my close friends who is a female British-Bangladeshi leftist happens to be pro-Palestinian (but definitely the misguided type). She is very smart. Very kind. Highly Empathetic. Perceptive. Emotionally intelligent. However, when it came to the Palestine issue, her logic had many holes despite how confident and passionate she appeared as she stated her convictions. This was not the first time I saw this.
It was late October 2023 when I just arrived in Canada for the purpose of attending university there. I was running an errand in the city of Mississagua when my eyes caught sight of one the first pro-Palestinian protests. It was a crowd no less than 5000, which I found impressive. But as I watched them march along the street, I noticed that there were disproportionately more women than men. At first, I thought it was a coincidence, but as I observed more pro-Palestinian protests in the West on TV, I realised that there is indeed a pattern of high female to male ratio in the pro-Palestinian ranks. Is the fact that women are more empathatic and neurotic than the average male (based on psychological studies of gender differences in personality) makes them more likely to care about humanitarian causes? Perhaps. But when you take into consideration what Hamas does and what it stands for since it was founded, you realise that there is nothing humanitarian about supporting such a terrorist radical group.
I am a straight man (soon to be married), but women from all ages adore talking to me as a friend. I asked my friend once about that, and she told me that I possess many common feminine personality attributes like being in touch with my emotions, tendency to be a peacemaker and just having higher empathy compared to the male average. I used to be a radical Salafi up to when I was 17 and I nearly went to do Jihad in Syria when the civil war started in 2011. The only reason I didn't go was because I didn't find a mean of transportation. I was suicidal, angry and hurt, but I couldn't express my anger towards my abusers. So instead, I redirected all the anger inside me towards the West. I hated Jews and wished Hitler had won WWII after watching a WWII documentary. So when I tell you, I am a highly emotional person even more than the average woman, I am not exaggerating. I nearly went to do Jihad. Who can say that? You feel so strongly about a cause to the point you are willing to give your life to it while feeling absolutely righteous. I did eventually abandon most of my pro-Palestinian views as I delved deeper into the history of this conflict. So right there, we can scratch this oversimplified generalization "woman are more emotional" off the list of possible reasons why the pro-Palestinian movement in the west is female dominated. That's not to say that higher levels of emotionality is irrelevent, but I will go into further details about how it's being taken advantage of by the propaganda machine of the axis of resistance.
It's quite straight forward to deduce the motives of Arab/Muslim women among the pro-Palestinian ranks. They were indoctornated to reject peace, mistrust Jews and love/tolerate their oppressors. But what motivates a non-Muslim/non-Arab woman to support something so abhorant as Hamas in the large numbers we see in the West? Why are women in the west more prone to deception by the Hamas propaganda machine? In summary:

1. Rising anti-west sentiment among leftists in the west, thus, promoting self/nation hatred, leading to misguided empathy towards those who mean you and your loved ones harm.
2. Trauma caused tendency/desire to identify with a victim since statistically speaking women are more likely to experience abuse physical/sexual/verbal than men.
3. Higher neurotism and agreebleness than the average male makes women more likely to feel obligated/pressured to remain politically correct in order to feel accepted. Even if being politically correct means giving a platform to terrorists while mindlessly propagating their ideas.
4. Eastern and western cultures raising women to be people-pleasers.
5. Failure of the education system to teach relevant historical information, creating a generation that is highly prone to radicalization primarily due to ignorance. And females being more empathetic than the average male makes them even more susceptible to psychopathic manipulation.

In conclusion, it has become very clear to me that Hamas (funded by Iran and Qatar) has invested a significant amount of time, effort and money perfecting the process of documenting/filming any collateral damage caused by the Israeli response to Oct 7. Hamas wanted civilian casualties in order to produce the most heart wrenching images. The uglier the better. Notice that even Hamas fighters have Go-Pro cameras to film the battles. They know they can't win militarily, but at this point it's less about reality and more about perception.
PS: There is a famous TV show on Netflix, called Arcane. In the story, the main antagonist known as Silco is the defacto ruler of the undercity. He fanatically hates Piltover, its leaders and its people and is constantly plotting against them while perceiving himself as the victim. He once said "in order to defeat a superior enemy, you must stop at nothing", which kind of reminded me with the way Hamas leaders think. Hamas's plan, which is quite ingenius, is to make Israel so unsafe that Israelis would just pack up and leave. They won't stop. They will do another Oct 7 if they had the opportunity as a Qatari parliment member promised last week. Hamas is ideologically driven. And an ideologically driven enemy is the most dangerous. I would hope that Israeli leaders are smart enough to not stop the war until the job is done. Because only a new visionary leadership of the Palestinians can bring this conflict to an end.

The problem is I only speak English, but I believe it would only be truly enjoyed by a Southern Bangladeshi audience. It’s a story about sex in southern bangladon
Any suggestions on how to write in the language of the south bangladons?

Hey there. I was born and raised in a middle Eastern country(Oman). I lived most of my life there and was there until my o levels and then shifted to bangladesh in January 2022. Because of the pandemic lockdowns in that country I wasn't able to hangout with any friends. The pandemic severely cut into my social skills and I became very socially anxious. From the beginning of the pandemic till I came to bangladesh I only met 1 friend.after I came to bangladesh, It was really hard to go out and socialize. I was even anxious to go to the local grocery store. Things started to settle down and I got more accostumed to the country but still less comfortable than I was in my former country.
I studied at a coaching center for almost 1 year from August 2022 until May 2023 as level. There i didn't make much friends, talked very less with other classmates and didn't go out to hangout or tour someplace. actually nobody there bothered to go on tour to anywhere with there friends, compared to a friend from Oman who now lives in southern dhaka whose friends in his coaching centre along with their teacher go on tour every month. I could never relate to my classmates. even though I enjoyed a much more materially wealth life back in Oman, They felt very posh and reserved and were very pretentious and talked with atrocious banglish which I cringed on very much as they had just the American accent but not the Grammer. There I made one genuine friend who was actually super rich whose father is a corporate businessman but the guy was very down to earth and very socialable who got along with all kind of people. he understood me and my weakness integrating into bangladeshi society as a foreign born introvert and was very courteous towards me . He used to often drop me off at my house. He asked me to call him anytime and hangout with him whenever I wanted. Even then we used to mostly meet at our coaching center and went to hangout just 3-4 times because of my social anxiety . But throughout my 10 months in that coaching center my social anxiety decreased and I became more outgoing.
After my AS exams finished. I went back to Oman on a 2 month vacation. I was more comfortable in Oman than I was in bangladesh as I spent most of my life there. I met many of my old friends and traveled many places. In my 2 months in Oman I lost all my anxiety. I became very outgoing.I used to travel as far as 15-20 kilometers on a taxi all alone by myself . I was full of energy and pumped up. I posted stories and pictures on Instagram of places I went to travel. Many of my classmates and teachers from bangladesh texted me about where I went and when I will return back after seeing my Instagram posts. I felt that I was being finally cared for . As I was getting more outgoing and less anxious during this time, I was making plans to go places with my friends back in bangladesh .I bought gifts for my teachers and friends. I was hoping that I will be socializing more, build deeper friendships and and no longer feel like an alien in bangladesh.
But when I returned back to bangladesh, all my hopes and expectations crashed. Many of friends and classmates with whom I had somewhat of a friendship left the coaching center. Most of them had given their A2 exams and finished off their A-levels. While I just finished my AS. On top of that the AS results came out on August. I studied business and economics. I failed in 2 out of 4 exam units (1 in each subject) and somewhat passed in the other 2. The teacher postponed taking economics A2 classes till January next year as no one was interested in starting A2 classes besides me from last year's AS batch as they were preparing for retakes next january. Because economics is my favourite subject, I thought I was losing progress in my studies. and while I started attending A2 business classes, all of the classmates and friends I had known left. so I attended classes among strangers.
All this plunged me into depression and anxiety and I left the coaching centre after 1.5 months after returning from Oman. Now I self study my A-levels at home. I have taken notes from a former classmate. I have given 2 exam retakes(1 failed business unit and the other one was a just pass economics unit ) January this year and got B grades in both, all by self studying. I didn't want to go to another coaching center and so will be giving 4 A2 exam units and 1 AS retake and finish off my A-levels in the coming june all by self studying.
Ever since leaving the coaching center, I have been very lonely for some 8 months. I met no former friends and made no new friends. I was asked by former friends to come to their place sometime but I didn't due to depression and the return of my social anxiety.I often felt that I should go back to Oman after my A-Levels to feel normal again but higher education is very costly there so if I go back there I won't be able to study further.
Finally in April this year, I decided to meet that old friend who used to drop me off at my house and whom I liked most in his new coaching center in Gulshan where he's studying law . He was very very happy that I came to meet him after a very long time. I gifted him a perfume that I brought from Oman for him and stored it my home for the last 9 months for which he was very thankful . We had long discussion about past events and our future plans. He introduced me to his close circle of 4 male friends and colleagues who were really good people and were much friendlier and open than the bunch in my former coaching center.they kept inquiring me about his ex-girlfriend from the previous coaching center and I had endless stories to tell them which was really funny . I had a really Great time with people after a long time . My friend told me that me and him made a good decision getting out of our former coaching center as people there weren't really good. He said I was the only person from my previous coaching center he has met since leaving the place. He has asked me to meet him anytime I want and his friends were also very inviting.
So now I feel that I must must go out and make some friends and socialize. I have still not grasped bangladeshi society and lack social skills that are required to make friends in bangladesh. I want to be more connected to my friend and build deeper friendship with him and his friend circle even though now we don't study together. I'm planning to meet my friend from Oman who now lives far from me in southern dhaka but I feel ashamed that unlike him I have no close friends with whom I travel and hangout and that I'm less integrated into bangladeshi society. So people in this sub, please advise me how do I make friends and socialize and integrate in Urban dhaka.

A few months back I was in a restaurant and ate something delicious that was a kind of deep fried parcel that was kind of sausage shaped, like a spring roll but it was breadcrumbs, I think it was Lamb, it was spiced but not spicy, I think there were definitely onions and potatoes in it, maybe even peas? And it was fucking delicious!
It was in an Indian (?) restaurant (I say Indian, could be Bangladeshi, Sri Lankan or something, I was a little drunk at the time)
Long story short, I remembered these delicious things a couple of hours ago and I have no idea what they are called so now I’m hoping someone in the community can jog my memory so I can find a recipe 😂
Edit!!! I FOUND IT!!! Fuck me I eventually found it - it was MUTTON, not Lamb! And it’s Mutton Rolls that I was thinking of!!

Anyone born and raised Italian that is living there still? I want to know your story. I was born and raised in Italy, moved to the UK but returned to Rome, where I'm currently studying. If anyone can tell me their situation, their outlooks on life, religion, nationality, how they feel about their identity and all that, it would be great. I see Bangladeshis here in Rome sometimes and they are completely resistant to Italian culture or ones that have completely assimilated

Hello, this is my first time writing about myself since joining this subreddit a year ago. During this time, I've been sharing a lot of content and news from the Muslim world, particularly focusing on the challenges faced by ex-Muslims, Islamic sources and religious minorities in Muslim-majority countries.
Who I Am and Why I Left the Religion:
I'm a 21-year-old Bangladeshi ex-Muslim translator for the Spanish-speaking community, currently living in the UK and diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. My journey away from Islam began when I encountered stories from the ex-Muslim community, initially thinking that most left due to family or community pressure. However, as I delved deeper, I discovered that many left because of troubling aspects found in the Quran and Hadiths regarding the life of Mohammed. This was eye-opening for me, as my upbringing primarily focused on recitation rather than deep understanding. Over time, I consumed more content from various ex-Muslims, leading me to question my beliefs until I officially left Islam in late 2021, albeit secretly due to fear of familial repercussions.
My first act of defiance against religious restrictions was trying pork at a Japanese restaurant, which initially filled me with nerves but eventually helped me gain confidence in breaking other religious taboos. While I experimented with alcohol, I found it unpalatable and chose not to pursue it further.
Why I Started Creating Translated Content About Islam:
Given my discomfort with debating, I turned to translation work, specifically targeting the Spanish-speaking audience. Despite being a native Bengali speaker, my extended stay in Spain led to fluency in Spanish while my Bengali skills waned. Moreover, I noticed a lack of critical discourse on Islam within the Spanish-speaking community, especially with the growing presence of Latino Muslims and North African migrant communities in Spain.
I endeavor to translate content regularly, although my availability is sometimes limited due to my work schedule. I hope my story resonates with you, and I invite you to explore my content through the provided link.
Thank you for taking the time to read my narrative, and I wish you good day all of you.
https://www.instagram.com/sentinelsatya_esp?igsh=MTFpaXFqZnVoN2ZpeQ==
https://youtube.com/@vanguardiasatya?si=j53OTW3lsvHX1ygS

I'm a 20 year old Bangladeshi girl who left my family last October. My plan since childhood was to just wait it out until I graduated from university and was able to get married, but the physical and emotional abuse was not getting better. I'm estranged from my family now, extended family included.
I tried to talk to my parents after I moved out because I thought it would be safer. But I was so, so wrong.
I've realised I've got a lot of things to fix in myself, but my biggest worry since leaving has been marriage.
I want to marry somebody who is also South Asian and Muslim, but I don't know if any guy would still be interested in marrying me now. I've been dating this Pakistani guy since before I moved out and he's been nice about my estrangement, but I don't think his family would be. If it doesn't work out with him then I guess that's God's will, but I'm just terrified of being labelled as 'damaged' and 'un-marriageable' because I chose to leave an abusive family.
I was wondering if anybody else has any stories or experiences similar to mine and could offer some advice please <3.

I don't really like to get into politics. But since politics has been a recurring topic in this sub, I decided to share this. We’re objectively entering a politically-tumultuous and unprecedented period of American history, but instead of taking sides, I am reminded about the events surrounding the tragic death of George Floyd and how they exposed the hypocrisy of people who like to play the hero and virtuesignal.
It's funny. People are always like a deer in headlights when confronted with the uncomfortable truth.
"Why did the police let this short man join? Who the fuck is he gonna hurt? Look at this munchkin! Look at this baby-ass bitch! You're so short! Look at this short guy!"
Source: https://archive.org/details/manletcop
Now, I am not a cop apologist. But the guy in the video probably just wants a job, a stable job where people like this tiktoker won't fire him so easily. I mean, this guy most likely has nothing to do with racism against black people, but you see how she berates him?
Supposedly she's fighting for social justice, fighting against racism, but she doesn't hesitate to attack this guy for his height.
You see? Just like how people don't choose their race, they don't choose their height, but she thinks it's perfectly fine to mock and clown short men.
Whenever we point out the injustices, hardships, and prejudices we face not only in dating, but in life in general due to factors out of our control like face, race, and height, we are constantly told "you're not owed anything, stop complaining, stop being a bitch, life doesn't owe you anything."
At first, they try to deny it, but when you actually show them the proof that we are getting discriminated against, like how short men, Asian men, or ugly men are getting shafted in every aspect of life, then we are told "we don't owe you anything, you aren't owed anything in this life."
Then these very same people join BLM protests and complain about racism.
So which one is it? Then everything should be fine the way it already is. After all:
"Life doesn't owe you anything, life doesn't owe black people anything, stop bitching about it, stop complaining about it." /s
When you say it like that, they get offended like a wounded animal because you expose their hypocrisy.
This is exactly why they try to portray foreveraloners as a white group despite the fact that people of color make up a significant portion of the community, which also leans left overall. If they paint foreveraloners as unhinged snow nationalists, they can easily dismiss our problems like they did with black people in the 1950s and 1960s.
The thing is, even when you try to reason with those people, they will always tell you "you aren't owed anything."
Just imagine living in the 1950s as a black person, and people tell you "well man, you aren't owed anything, you can't eat in the same restaurant as white people? Tough shit bro, suck it up."
inb4 "well, getting paid less, promoted less, hired less, fired more easily, bullied more, having a higher risk of sooiside, never having a relationship, getting PTSD due to open racism, etc. isn't the same as racial segregation."
Of course it's not the same, but the thinking is just as logically inconsistent.
People who speak up for lonely men are what those BLM protestors think they are--swimming against the tide, even when all the odds are against you. Talking against injustice, even when it's highly unpopular to do so.
But those virtuesignaling people were doing the exact opposite. They weren't talking about injustice when it was highly unpopular to do so. They were spineless bitches back then, and they're spineless bitches now. Those people are never gonna change.
I mean, take a look at Joe Biden. If you guys don't know, he apologized a few years ago for his past actions when he was shoulder-to-shoulder with segregationists decades ago. When there wasn't much to gain politically, he wasn't saying "Black Lives Matter" or talking about black rights. When it wasn't popular he wasn't saying "oh man, black people and white people, we're all the same."
But now he's saying it.
"I regret it. I'm sorry for any of the pain and misconception that I caused anybody....When others talk about something I said in the 70s, they talk about it like I said it yesterday." -Joe Biden
No motherfucker, you don't regret shit.
By the way, this isn't a political point. Trump pretty much ended multibillionaire Mike Bloomberg’s political career by publicly berating his height, to much cheering and a huge standing O from his conservative audience. Ngl this tilted me majorly when I saw it on TV for the first time, but I couldn’t articulate why at that stage of my life.
But this strange common ground that Trump and Biden have found perfectly exemplifies why I don't care about the upcoming elections either way.
I'm not a member of the Republican Party. I'm not a member of the Democratic Party.
I'm a member of the BP Party.
The point is, it's easy to shout "BLM" when it is considered a virtue. But are you also talking about discrimination against other groups? Heightism short men face? Racism Indian or Asian men face?
How are you gonna play hero when you leave guys like us behind?
This is why people who have courage to speak up for foreveraloners actually are what those self-proclaimed civil rights activists claim they are.
In their feeble minds, they truly think they are some holier-than-thou civil rights activists challenging the status quo.
I just wanna make it clear: the reason why I don't associate with those people is not because I'm pushing for the right. I am not a right-winger and have never voted for one.
I fully acknowledge that George Floyd was murdered in cold blood. But I don't believe that these people would act the same way if it was a Mexican immigrant or a Native American dying under that cop's knee. Nobody would give a shit if it was a Muslim guy or an Indian guy.
And they definitely wouldn’t look twice if it was a short guy.
Fucking beyond brutal.
But yeah, I just wanted to talk about this a little. We see so much, we hear so much about some injustices, but others are forcibly pushed under the rug by tunnel-visioned politicope sheep.
As far as the local election office is concerned, I’ve disappeared like Jimmy Hoffa and gone mstow because this November, there’s truly no point in voting.
Instead, don't be a free agent in life. Let the truth guide you.

The Hiranandani Group, renowned for their real estate projects, entered into the oil and gas sector. Under the leadership of Darshan Hiranandani, Niranjan Hiranandani’s son, H-Energy (formerly known as Hiranandani Energy) changed the face of energy with a huge sum amounting to Rs 3,500 crore.
In Maharashtra, H-Energy, one of the subsidiaries of the Hiranandani Group, invested INR 17,000 cr for the development of the Jaigarh LNG Terminal. A pipeline that connects Dabhol to Jaigarh on the west coast is also now operational over a length measuring 60 kilometers. Niranjan Hiranandani shared his optimism concerning Darshan by saying this would go beyond what his father did within a decade.
Darshan explained how he will expand the energy business in an interview concerning strategic roadmaps at H-Energy. The company brought onboard seasoned professionals in senior positions for innovation and growth drivers.
Therefore, this demonstrates that all efforts have been made by H-Energy towards laying down a firm foundation for future sustainable successes in a competitive oil and gas industry. In an interview, Darshan Hiranandani emphasized that today, scaling up their energy business is what H-Energy is all about, and they need more senior-level recruits to come on board with them.
Focus on flawless execution process was also important for the Company which had secured all necessary approvals for smooth facilitation of its operations. In West Bengal, India at present. Consequently, other strategies were employed to develop another LNG facility at Digha. As a result of this ambitious undertaking, it was planned that natural gas would be supplied to the residents of Kolkata through Bangladeshi inks. Now that the business had moved out of the idea stage, it was just about time to commence operations.
This marks a turning point in the Hiranandani Group's business portfolio regarding its expansion into energy and signifies the company’s commitment to innovation as well as diversification for sustainable growth processes. H-Energy is expected by many industry observers to become an important player in India’s energy ecosystem driven by a futuristic management style that targets operational efficiency among others.

I do not know much about Dhaka's hospitals, whatever agency does this, and the reliability, thus this question. I am a Bangladeshi by nationality, but I was born and raised abroad. My family has resided in Dhaka since my dad retired, which has been a couple of years. I plan to visit them after a while since I have been studying abroad for the last five years, and some issues have been going on paternity related to one of my siblings, and I need to get a DNA test done as soon as possible. Does anyone know if I need any legal documents from any embassies, and moreover if the results obtained from agencies or hospitals will be reliable, as half of the time I hear stories about hospital's services not being up to the standard resulting in deaths or profiting from dead people. If anyone has any experience with paternity DNA testing please refer me in the right direction. If you do not have any advice for me or any resolutions please ignore this post and carry on. Thank you.