Winnie the pooh baby shower printouts

Hey guys,
So after my son was born I weighed myself and I was 256, the heaviest I have ever been. Went from lifting weights all the time to just not working out for 9 months and eating whatever with my wife.
So I did keto during my paternity leave and got down to about 245. Was then able to get my home gym setup and for the past 4 weeks I have been tracking protein/macros and calories and would say I have stayed up nder 2500 calories 95 percent of this month. Oftentimes less and a few times more. I take creatine everyday and get around 200g of protein everyday. My mother did come into this weekend and we celebrated with a big Zaxby’s meal but the cheat meals have been minimal.
I have felt really good this past month and have definitely had my gains start coming back quick and I have felt better in t shirts and clothes. I’m a stocky guy so my main goal since summer is already here is to try and lose weight SUPER slow and get as strong as possible.
This morning I got up, ate (protein pancakes and shake and some coffee) and trained squats and biceps. Really heavy day today. Worked up to about 275 for 5 and felt great. Also drank about 68 fl oz of water.
Took a shower and ate some rice and sirloin
My baby is sleep training so I did wake up about every 3-4 hour last night
I had another protein shake and literally just weighed myself and I weighed 255. I wanted to cry. Is a lot of this water weight from the creatine/cheat meal on Saturday/lack of consistent sleep/and a heavy, killer squat workout/lunch and protein shakes or am I just grinding my gears. Feel like I’m getting stronger but I don’t think I need to get fatter to do that.
Is this normal? How much water weight can a person retain and how quickly?

I’m (F, 31) currently 26 weeks pregnant with my first baby and about 5 days ago, while washing in the shower, I noticed what I could only assume was an external hemorrhoid. I’ve never had one in my life and I was even more surprised because I haven’t had any constipation. I started taking shallow warm epsom salt baths and bought tucks pads. I thought it was getting better until today a second one popped up 😭 this is so gross and TMI, but is anyone else experiencing this without any sort of constipation? Do they generally go away? Or should I expect them to just keep coming back throughout my pregnancy (and beyond????) I still have my entire 3rd trimester to go. It seems too early for this.
I called the nurse’s line at my OB to ask if there’s anything I can do or take to prevent them and she said that they’re common during pregnancy but to let them know if they become so painful I can’t sit 🙃 but I can use preparation H.

So we had our baby shower 3 weeks ago and I’m just now able to post about it without becoming full of rage all over again lol.
My SIL (hubby’s sister) is extremely self absorbed. The world revolves around her, we all just exist in it. If you do things differently than her, she lacks the emotional intelligence/maturity to understand that people are different and it isn’t her place to comment or “correct”. She will find a way to make ANYTHING about herself in some way.
She has not been involved in my pregnancy at all. She has not checked in, asked how I was feeling, given advice, asked if/how she could help with anything. Not a single word or text the entirety of the pregnancy.
Which honestly, is fine. I don’t like her anyway and hearing from her would no doubt just turn into being about her in some way. However, her complete lack of effort and care gives her ZERO right to then try to take over things with the baby shower, which was hosted by my amazing mother who had everything under control and who sunk a ton of time and money into planning a really special baby shower.
My SIL decided to confront me just days before the shower about my decision on not playing games. She said that people really enjoy playing games and like to see it, so we really should do so because people (meaning herself) would be disappointed with the shower if we didn’t. This threw me into a rage spiral because… the freaking audacity. To tell me what to do, days before the shower, when it’s absolutely none of her business and not about what she wants. My response to her was very short and direct and I made it clear we’d be doing things the way we wanted.
Then the day of the shower. Apparently the decor my mother was doing (minimal, because I don’t care about elaborate decor at a baby shower - especially outdoors like ours was) wasn’t good enough. SIL took it upon herself to essentially take over decorating. Which in theory sounds like a nice gesture. Except she’s extremely bossy and when she took over, she was rushing and was apparently in a bad mood from rushing where she stressed everyone else out and started commanding them on how to help her.
Why the need for the decor that WE didn’t care about or ask for? Why the need to rush around and stress/sour the mood? She took it upon herself so that she could get some pat on the back and make it about herself. And the decor was lovely, it looked great, but it was unnecessary and at the cost of her taking over and stressing other people out, it wasn’t worth it. My mother had it under control, and I think she felt a little hurt that her plans weren’t “good enough” for my SIL.
I’m just so irritated and tired of dealing with this kind of crap from my in-laws. My hubby totally understands and agrees with my frustrations and he’ll say things when he needs to, but honestly, I mostly tell him not to bother because his sister and mother completely lack the ability to step back and think about their actions, so it just turns into more unwanted drama.
Anyone else who can commiserate with similar experiences? Thanks for reading all of my pregnant rage word vomit lol.

I’ve never done this before so bear with me. Backstory – I M35 and my brother M23 have a big age gap so we grew up in very different lifestyles. We have always been close, and I loved having a little brother when I was younger, but we didn’t really become close friends until he was near an adult. When I say that we grew up in very different lifestyles I mean that I grew up with my parents getting divorced, and my mom marrying a new person my step father. Soon after that my brother was born. I always wanted a little brother, just ask my little sister lol. He was really the glue that kept me wanting to be around, and be a part of the family as I was not always the best behaved teenager especially with my stepfather. As I grew and my stepfather did we also became close. Looking back now we can both admit our faults for him inheriting a 12 year old and being a first time parent to me also having my bio father still around. My younger brother was always the glue that made me want to have a better relationship with our family. My brother has never known anything else besides the family unit that we still have today. I left the area to go to college, and chose to follow my passion for a career which unfortunately put me in a situation where I was struggling financially and moving a lot. He went to the local college and lived at home. He wanted to be a lawyer, and didn’t want to leave home.
Now when it came time to add people to our family (spouses) we also went different routes. I wanted to wait til I was in a financially stable point in my life before I proposed to my girlfriend (now wife), and my brother got married very young to his high school girlfriend just as he was graduating college. I only bring this up because they got engaged not long after we did, and before our wedding. He told me and my fiancé at the time about it, and we were very surprised. Not because he was going to propose, but because he had never lived anywhere except out parents house even thru college, and his girlfriend at the time also never didn’t live under her parents roof. That’s really where this kicks off. My brother was suppose to graduate and go to law school anywhere he wanted with my parents support, but he was feeling pressure from her family. Everyone tried to tell him to take his time, and no hurry to get married. This is opposite of his girlfriends family who all got married young including her siblings (most divorced as well), and they were feeling the pressure so they got married right away. My wife who has meshed super well with my very large family was a little annoyed at this, but I reminded her that my brother was one of the sweetest people, and means no harm whatsoever. She agreed as she had a very good relationship with both of my siblings. The first issue that came up was apparently my fiancé not asking my brothers girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) to be one of her bridesmaids. Nobody expected her to be asked apparently except her and my brother. He on the other hand was my best man. My wife however is a very loud, outspoken, and relatable person who wears her heart on her sleeve so she fit extremely well in my big Italian-American family. My brothers wife however is the opposite, very quiet and could be a little awkward around big loud groups, which my family is. They had very little relationship, and my wife has a very small friend group so we had a small bridal party to begin with. So its not that they didn’t get along I just wouldn’t call them friends. After our wedding where my parents were extremely involved in every decision we made there was a contrast, and the first time where we noticed an issue. My brothers wife would never talk to my mother, and would leave her out of a lot of the wedding planning, which was hard for her because my mother and stepfather were fronting the bill. She would only communicate thru my brother, and caused a lot of tension with the family. Also during this time my sister was very pregnant, and thru my brother again was being made to feel very bad for missing the wedding because she had just given birth 2 weeks prior to the date. So there has been tension for the past couple years stemming from this, and a similar situation with their baby shower after they welcomed their first child. My mother, and my sister were very hurt, but never wanted to cause issues with my brother and his wife. The other tension stems from them making decisions with no regard for the outcome. Everyone tried to tell them not to get married so quick (they did), everyone told them to just wait til he was done with law school to buy a house (they did), everyone told them to not have kids until they were in a better place (they didn’t), and my parents have been helping them financially to make sure they survive. This has caused my parents to push back their retirement plans, and they don’t really get to see their grandson as much as they would like, because they have become much closer to his in-laws.
Now to the recent happenings, me and my wife decided that we wanted to start trying to have kids, and we struggled to do so. My wife was having previously unknown complications that made it hard for us to conceive. This was a struggle, but we worked together to make it happen. What made this all the crazier was that we found out she was pregnant the day after I had just gotten a new job. Crazy story, but I had to move immediately and leave my wife behind to follow in a couple months. We told everyone because we were so excited, and facetimed all of the family together to tell them. Similar to what my siblings did when they had their children, and my sister was also getting married and my wife was a bridesmaid so we did not want to steal any of their thunder during their wedding. There were little issues leading up to the wedding between my sister and my sister-in-law including them not liking their table and requesting my sister move them two days before the wedding. Because they were both bridesmaids and different personalities they butted heads a little bit, but nothing big. That is until I overhead my sister-in-law talking shit on my wife to some family friends, which pissed me off, but I didn’t make it a big deal. My wife was hurt, but not surprised. Also in the week of the wedding we found out that we were having a little girl (the first one), and everyone was very excited. Especially my wife. We didn’t make a big deal about it, but had an amazing time at my sisters wedding. Because of me having to travel back to work we left early the day after the wedding. What we didn’t know was that my brother and his wife were going to announce their 2^nd child the day after the wedding. We didn’t know, and they did a very elaborate announcement for my parents and my sister. What I got was a text message the next day to just let me know. My wife was extremely hurt by this, and I chose to confront him about it. Its hard enough for my wife to be by herself, pregnant and away from family, but she truly does view my family as hers. I chose to confront my brother about it, and what I got was a very half hearted apology, with petty shots about us not telling them we were having a girl but that was not the reason according to them that we were not included in the announcement. Now everyone is picking sides, and fighting about it. AITA?

Hi there!
For a little context i’m very sensitive to everything. Lots of allergies, random rashes, swollen lymph nodes, and other mysterious health issues. Sensitive to changes in hormones, routine, environment, etc. it’s annoying as hell. anyway:
I’ve been dealing with an itchy, inflamed, stinky scalp for the longest time. I have very good hygiene and have tried everything pretty much every active ingredient you can think of, OTC, rX, AVC, etc. It flares up/gets worse (as does my eczeme) when i’m about to get my period, stressed, or if im getting sick. There’s times it’s so bad I can’t sleep and have to shower in the middle of the night to soothe it. and i can smell it on myself and it drives me crazy.
here’s the weird plot twist though: the smell, itching, and even oiliness???? is controlled when i take an anti-histamine. i get spring allergies, (shocker!) and on days id take an allergy pill id notice significant improvement in my scalp. what does this mean??? also, i should add ive tried many different shampoos (medicated, sensitive, baby, etc) and im more allergic to some than others, but when im using a shampoo im not irritated by during use, the discomfort doesn’t start until hours after washing, so i don’t think its an allergic reaction. plus, i don’t think that would explain the smell/oil/even inflammation over.
has anyone else had a similar issue? pls help 🩵

For some back story: my sister 32F was with her baby dad 32M for almost 10 years. He was extremely controlling and abusive to her in every way. It took her getting pregnant and having her baby (my niece) to finally have the strength to leave him because she needed to protect her baby. When she was home from the hospital, he couldn’t handle her crying as a newborn. He came into the bedroom screaming to shut the baby up. He pulled out a gun and pointed it at my newborn niece, and then to his own head. That was when my sister knew she had to get away from him.the next day she came to my family for help and we moved her out. She got a protective order against him and they had a really nasty case I. Court against each other. Cps came to interview her and I was there for support and it was the first time I had seen my sister cry in over a decade recounting to the cps what he did to her. In court, he lied so much about my sister and he got away with all of it because the law protects him as a parent too and there wasn’t enough evidence. That same cps worker high fived the dad after court that day. Years later, and multiple court hearing later as his tactic of draining our family of money, he continues to be the same person he always was. My niece is much older now, and able to vocalize his actions. She says that he grabs her arm out of no where and twists it, that he “grounds” her for “lying” about brushing her hair or showering when she says she is telling the truth- so he locks her in her room for hours. She says he tells her she is fat (she is actually very very skinny) and that her teeth are crooked and ugly- she has had many breakdowns before school because of this because he has messed up her self esteem so bad. She said he tickles her out of no where so hard that it hurts and it makes her cry. And now yesterday when she came back from her dads, she said he pushed her really hard when she was climbing into the car “because she was taking too long” and she hit the top of her head really hard. She still had a bump on her head and then woke up this morning with very blurry vision so we took her to urgent care immediately and got her checked out and a Cat scan that we are still waiting for the results for. Please any advice on what we can do. We are terrified of what he will do to punish her if we don’t succeed in getting the law to protect her after so many attempts already. If we file a police report, what will he do if he still gets regular custody? He is about to have her for 3 weeks for the start of summer. It would be too long to share how much more there is to this case, but he has gotten away with everything he has ever done. I’m so scared that he will kidnap her or punish her for telling us, or come up with another lie to take my sister to court as retaliation like he’s done before.

For some back story: my sister 32F was with her baby dad 32M for almost 10 years. He was extremely controlling and abusive to her in every way. It took her getting pregnant and having her baby (my niece) to finally have the strength to leave him because she needed to protect her baby. When she was home from the hospital, he couldn’t handle her crying as a newborn. He came into the bedroom screaming to shut the baby up. He pulled out a gun and pointed it at my newborn niece, and then to his own head. That was when my sister knew she had to get away from him.the next day she came to my family for help and we moved her out. She got a protective order against him and they had a really nasty case I. Court against each other. Cps came to interview her and I was there for support and it was the first time I had seen my sister cry in over a decade recounting to the cps what he did to her. In court, he lied so much about my sister and he got away with all of it because the law protects him as a parent too and there wasn’t enough evidence. That same cps worker high fived the dad after court that day. Years later, and multiple court hearing later as his tactic of draining our family of money, he continues to be the same person he always was. My niece is much older now, and able to vocalize his actions. She says that he grabs her arm out of no where and twists it, that he “grounds” her for “lying” about brushing her hair or showering when she says she is telling the truth- so he locks her in her room for hours. She says he tells her she is fat (she is actually very very skinny) and that her teeth are crooked and ugly- she has had many breakdowns before school because of this because he has messed up her self esteem so bad. She said he tickles her out of no where so hard that it hurts and it makes her cry. And now yesterday when she came back from her dads, she said he pushed her really hard when she was climbing into the car “because she was taking too long” and she hit the top of her head really hard. She still had a bump on her head and then woke up this morning with very blurry vision so we took her to urgent care immediately and got her checked out and a Cat scan that we are still waiting for the results for. Please any advice on what we can do. We are terrified of what he will do to punish her if we don’t succeed in getting the law to protect her after so many attempts already. If we file a police report, what will he do if he still gets regular custody? He is about to have her for 3 weeks for the start of summer. It would be too long to share how much more there is to this case, but he has gotten away with everything he has ever done. I’m so scared that he will kidnap her or punish her for telling us, or come up with another lie to take my sister to court as retaliation like he’s done before.

Hi! My husband and I are traveling for our baby shower since we moved about a year ago. His mom, his sister, my step mom and our two cousins planned the shower. We didn’t get to have a wedding due to Covid so our shower is going to be pretty big (around 100 people) and they’ve spent a lotttt of money on everything. What are some cute, thoughtful gifts you would get them for going above and beyond for us?

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Today my MIL texted my husband asking if he could keep the reason for their upcoming visit between him and her.
She picked a date for the baby shower and wants to surprise me with the conversation. She did this with our wedding last year, and tried to do a slideshow of my husbands baby pictures at our wedding reception.
No matter how much we tell her we will reach out re: baby shower when I’m ready, she is pressuring us and has resorted to asking him for complicity to ambush me this weekend. FWIW - my mom will be planning my baby shower.
How are we dealing with difficult MILs? Anyone experience something similar and have tips and tricks?

I have an orange cat named Jeff that I got 7 years ago and I absolutely adore him. He’s my baby. He can be such a sweetheart, but he also has a really difficult side to him. He’s a smart cat and knows what to do to make me mad.
I want him to be an indoor cat, but he absolutely loves going outside. It’s been years of trying to keep him inside or trying different variations of letting him outside at certain times or only once a day, whatever. It doesn’t matter how much we let him out, he always gets so mad when we don’t let him outside. I don’t let him out once it’s dark outside ever, if I can help it. And everytime he comes back inside, he gets lots of treats. It’s the expectation at this point.
Tonight, he snuck out the door after dark and I was able to go outside and grab him and I got him back outside. He was PISSED. So so mad at me. I gave him treats and lots of love but he was just so mad. Hours later, I figured he was over it. He seemed fine, he was just napping in my room on his special spot on my couch. Then I got up to take a shower. When I came back into the room, he was sitting on the bed, but quickly hopped up and wanted out of the room so I let him out. I didn’t realize until hours later that HE HAD PEED ON MY BED. I had to change all the sheets because it soaked through.
This is by far the first time he’s done this. We have to keep shower curtains over beds that aren’t being used or else he will pee on them. If I leave clothes on the floor, he will pee on them. He ruined a rug in the living room from constantly peeing on it. It’s such a big issue and my whole family resents him for it, even though he truly has a sweet side to him.
I just don’t know what to do. He’s not doing this because his litter box is unavailable or dirty… we have 3 of them throughout our whole house and we keep them all very clean. He does use the litterbox regularly. He does this out of spite. He is very easy to anger. It makes me so unbelievably mad when he does this… it’s not like it’s an accident, this is purposeful. It’s so bratty and I don’t know how to stop it.
In addition to this, he seems constantly bored. When he’s inside, he paces around the house for hours just meowing SO loud. He will do this all night long and it keeps everyone up, it’s crazy how loud he can meow. I don’t know why he does that but I believe it’s out of boredom. I’ve gotten him lots of toys but he doesn’t like them and still meows and paces.
He’s such a difficult cat but I love him to pieces… what on earth do I do?

Hello all -- first time poster here. Sorry for the really long post, I guess part of this is therapeutic for me just to write out.
I've really been struggling recently, as my wife has come to absolutely despise by 67 year old mother, and I'm not sure if there's anything that can fix it.
A little bit of my history. I've always been very close with my family. I grew up in a south Asian household (although I always felt we integrated nicely with a lot of American culture -- both me and my sibling have lived in a large US city our entire lives and consider ourselves American both in culture as well as nationality). However, as in many Asian cultures, respect for elders is extremely important. I always had a parent-child relationship with my parents (meaning that they were in charge, and not interested in being my friend, but rather my mentors and provided invaluable guidance over the years). Both of my parents sacrificed a lot for me and mysibling, but especially my mom who chose to forgo advancing her own career, and to work part time in order to raise my sibling and I. I've always had a good relationship with my mom, although we've had our share of fights over the years (we're both pretty stubborn), but they typically last no more than a 3-5 days on average and then things are completely back to normal. I would say this happens an average of 1-2 times per year at most. I do feel very close with my mom (& my dad as well, but my wife doesn't seem to have any issues with my dad so I'm not focussing on that part). I do believe that much of the success I have achieved in life is directly attributable to the sacrifices my mom made as well as the time she spent raising and teaching me. I have always respected my parents, which is typical of Asian culture. By respect, I mean things like not talking back, valuing their opinions, and trying to make their life easier or happier in small ways (visiting them on weekends, going out to dinner together -- we live roughly 40 minutes apart).
A bit of my wife's history -- she grew up with her parents being divorced from a young age. Both of her parents are wonderful people who I really adore, but they were extremely lenient with her growing up (they were not on top of her with regards to schoolwork, she would talk back to them at times without getting in much trouble, she was able to sneak out of her house as a teen, etc.). These are by no means egregious offenses, and I suspect many kids do the same at that age. However, there was a clear difference in her relationship with her parents -- there was no real enforcement of rules or punishment for breaking rules. Through my lens, it seems that this has manifested as a lack of respect for her own parents, as well as her elders. She mostly has a good relationship with both of her parents, but when she does disagree with them, she talks to them in ways I could never imagine speaking to my own parents (talks back, hangs up on them, etc.). She says that she needs to "put them in their place" at times, which I also find rude. Overall, I would say she grew up much less "family-oriented" than I did, for what it's worth.
My wife is also somewhat of a nomad (mostly not by choice). She moved a few times growing up (within the same state, but different areas), and then went out of state for college, only to leave after 1.5 years and finish at a local state school (in a different state) where her mother lived at the time. Because of this, she has very few close friends, and the ones that she does have are spread out all across the country on different coasts. This is in stark contrast to me. I've been lucky to maintain the same group of friends that I've had since we were 8 or 9 years old. On top of that, most of them have stayed in the same area that we grew up in (where my wife and I now live). I think the lack of a social circle has affected my wife since she moved to my city, but I'm not sure what solution there is for that since there is no city we could live in where she would have a group of close friends or family (her parents live in different states and split time between different states, her 3 closest friends live in 3 different states).
I've known my wife for 8 years and we've been married for 2.5. I love her. She is a great person; she is kind, compassionate, loving, and at her core truly does care deeply about others (though I feel that this does not always come across in the way she talks to her own parents). She's funny, adventurous, and up until recently, I was always happier around her. We were recently blessed with the birth of our son, who is now 11 months old. Our son is the best thing that has ever happened to us, but his arrival seems to have simultaneously strained our relationship in ways I did not anticipate. I knew that the sleep deprivation would be hard, and our lives would change drastically. What I did not envision was a deepening hatred that my wife has developed for my mom.
Prior to the birth of our son, my wife did not have much of an issue with my mom other than thinking she was "needy" for wanting to see myself and my sibling once a week, even if it was just for a dinner (again, we live roughly 40 minutes apart, and my parents are typically willing to drive to us, meet us at a restaurant, or have us over). My mom does tend to be picky with where we eat out (she doesn't eat most meat, and prefers vegetarian options), but that never really bothered me, though it seems to bother my wife that my mom is "getting her way", even though this was at most 1 meal in the week.
I know that my mom can certainly be stubborn and hard to deal with at times, but I know her very well, and I always felt that she was inclusive of my wife, and never did anything that warranted being strongly disliked. The one exception to this was during our son's baby shower. We had planned a large party with a lot of family and friends that my parents hosted (their house is large enough to accomodate a party of that size). During the baby shower, my mom helped arrange catering of food, ordering tables, chairs, tablecloths, and hiring a bartender (my parents also paid for all of this). My wife did not like my mom's taste with regards to tablecloths and chair decorations and she was irritated that my mom wanted to help and be involved in the planning (though to her credit, my wife did not outwardly show this discontent to my mom, though it was certainly made known to me). My wife handled the floral arrangements and other decorative pieces such as a backdrop, and spent a lot of time and effort getting them exactly how she wanted. I kind of sensed that my mom felt that she was being taken for granted and underappreciated by my wife (she did take care and pay for a lot), and my wife felt that my mom was being overbearing with planning, and also felt that my mom was purposefully spiteful (my wife claims that every other member of my family commented on how nice the floral arrangements were, but my mom never did). This culminated in a "fight" where my wife wanted a decorative piece in one part of the yard and my mom wanted it in another part. There was some exchange of words at the time, though I did not witness this. This left my mom feeling that my wife was "disrespectful" and left my wife hating my mom for not honoring her decision about where to place the decorative piece, since this was her baby shower. This led to a very upsetting experience for my wife and I as we really did not enjoy the baby shower at all (although this was not evident to our guests or other family members, as we were able to "fake it"). My wife was particularly upset after the baby shower when we drove home since she felt that it was supposed to be a special day for her, and my mom ruined it, which I mostly agreed with. To her credit, my mom did apologize to both my wife and me the following day, and told us that she had been under a lot of stress with many family members staying at their house, taking care of meals, sleeping arrangements, etc., and her stress got the better of her. I was willing to accept her apology and move on, but my wife has always held a grudge since that time, and feels that the apology wasn't genuine. Again, I've known my mom for a long time and she would rather not apologize at all than do so disingenuously. My wife however insists that she can read my mom better than me, since I'm biased. Nonetheless, we moved forward.
After the birth of our son, my parents and my wife's parents were overjoyed (he is all of their first grandchild). Again, we live near where I grew up so my parents are much closer to us than my wife's parents are. After the birth of our son, my wife's mom rented a place near us for 4 months to help with the baby and chores, etc. I never had any issue with this, even when she would come over multiple times a day, or even unannounced at times (this was not something that bothered me). My parents were (& are) also very eager to spend time with their grandchild, and initially were coming over every other day to see the baby, which then decreased to about twice a week, since he has been 3 months old. My wife has begun having major issues with my parents coming to see our son twice a week now. Perhaps what is most irritating to me is the fact that I anticipated this issue beforehand. I specifically asked my wife when our son was 1 or 2 months old "how often would you be okay with my parents coming to see him?", and her answer was "I would be so happy if it was just twice a week", (which she felt would be a huge improvement over the every other day they were initially coming when our son was a newborn). I assured her that twice a week was very reasonable and she said she'd be happy with that.
Fast forward to now -- my mom comes to visit twice a week for 3-4 hours and my wife says its too much. She says it's suffocating, that she shouldn't have to live her life around my mom seeing our son (which my wife does not, she always tells my mom which days to come, and they are different each week depending on what my wife wants to do), that she feels like she had a kid just for my mom to play with. Again, my mom is never insistent on what days or even times to see our son. She certainly appreciates seeing him regularly, and I always wanted my son to have a close relationship with his grandparents (both sides), as both myself and my wife did growing up. However, my wife's parents do not live near us (and don't come to visit that often). I think this plays a role in terms of her being irritated that my family sees him regularly, but I don't see any solution. Her family is financially able to visit us (very regularly) if they wanted to, but they don't make it a priority. Again, her parents are wonderful people, but they seem to be more interested in their own lives and relationships than they are in forging a deep connection with our son, their grandson (I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, but it's the opposite of my family who really want to be close with their grandson, even if it's at the expense of time with their own friends).
I should also add that for the past 3 years my wife has not worked. This started prior to us getting married. She left her job because she hated it, and I am lucky to be in a position to financially support us on my own. However, she always told me she would (& wanted to) get a job in a field that she was more interested in, though she has never been able to articulate what that field would be (actually she was adamant that she would have a job before we got married). I tried to encourage her to find fields that appealed to her, even advised her to take risks with entrepreneurship, to see if she could make a career out of something she considers a hobby. I've paid for countless courses, certifications, etc. (90% of which she did not complete -- things like real estate certifications, social media certifications, photography lessons, camera lenses, etc.). Furthermore, I paid for her to see a therapist of her choosing for a few months hoping it would help her gain clarity with regards to what she wants to do career-wise (it did not). All in all, I've probably spent in the neighborhood of 7-8K on online courses, certifications, and she does not have anything to show for it. Once we got pregnant, we agreed that she would take on more of a domestic role (which is what she said she wanted as well, I did not force her into this -- and she was also not doing anything else for work anyway). The point I'm making here is not that I feel she needs to work, it is just that she gets to see our son all the time (it's not like she's going to work and handing our son off to my mom). Also, many times my wife will say "Oh why don't you come on Monday" when we see my mom (which my mom will then do). Then Monday rolls around and my wife is texting me at work all day constantly complaining about how my mom is interacting with our son (she doesn't watch him closely enough, or she doesn't put him in his crib to nap, or she feeds him when she's not supposed to, etc.), how long my mom is staying, how she feels trapped in the house when my mom is there, etc. She basically wants my mom to come over for no more than 2 hours and then leave (again we live about 40 minutes apart).
This issue she has with my mom seeing our son a couple of times a week for a few hours, has started to cause bigger and bigger fights between us. Part of me understands that my wife's lack of her own social circle of close friends, and not having family nearby is contributing to her unhappiness with our current situation. But the other part of me can't help but feel like I've done everything in my power to help, and it feels that she is just complaining about my mom because she's unhappy with where she is in life. I have tried helping her find a career that she would like, I have tried telling her she can remain a stay at home mom if she wants, I have tried getting her a therapist to help her work through her issues, I have tried encouraging her to join mom & baby classes to meet new friends (which she now attends, but hasn't made any real friends during them), I have offered to joint local couples meetups with her to meet new friends if that would make her more comfortable, I have encouraged her to invite the few local friends she does have over for dinner or even go out with them while I watch the baby, I have offered to move to a part of the city that is even further from my parents, and I've even offered to move cities altogether to be closer to her own family (although her family does not reside in just 1 city, they split time between a few). I've also told her to voice her issues to my mom and hash out whatever the issues are, but she says my mom will see it as disrespectful and "make things even more awkward" (which may in fact be true, but in that case I've told her we would just see my mom less, which is what she wants anyway...). Each time I suggest something, I feel that it is met with resistance or some excuse as to why it won't work (for instance when I suggest moving cities, she says no because I'll "use that against her" in the future if we fight). I'm just not sure where I can take it from here. I'm sure couples counseling has to be a part of the solution in some way, but I'm not sure what they are going to be able to offer that I haven't already tried.
I guess I'm just looking for advice. My guess is my wife wants me to just straight up tell my mom she can't come over twice a week anymore (but I could see my wife having a problem even if it was just once a week), for no good reason. My mom has no idea my wife despises her, and me just randomly telling my parents they can't come over anymore for no apparent reason would cause a rift between me & them. I love my parents and they're only getting older. They're not going to live forever, and I would feel awful if I told them they just can't come to see their grandson because my wife doesn't like my mom for no particularly legitimate reason.
Thanks in advance to whoever read through this, and for whatever advice you can provide.
TLDR - I feel like I've bent over backwards to make my wife happy but she still has a major issue with my mom that I don't know how to resolve.

My SIL is upset that she hasn't received a thank you note yet. She gave us a lovely and generous gift when baby was first born 3 months ago and while we thanked her in passing in person, we haven't yet gotten to her note. I'm like 75% finished with notes from the baby shower (which we had at 38 weeks lol) and then the gifts that came afterward are also on the list. Life has been overwhelming with surviving the newborn stage, and secretly I'm pretty frustrated that she is complaining about this. However... people don't have to give gifts especially not so generously, and I feel it is rude to be late with a note. How long are we supposed to have to get thank you notes out timely for baby gifts?

Hi, I’m reposting a shortened version of a really big issue I (34f) am having with my husband (32m). My original post didn’t get any comments I think because it’s super long.
My husband and I are in the middle of a big argument (it’s day 3) because he says since he works and I’m a stay at home mom, the financial burden is on him and I don’t have any right to “b***h” at him for help with cleaning, the baby etc.
I brought up how I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with everything, and noticing he’s stopped doing things he used to do to help. For example- washing bottles before he goes to sleep so I’m not left doing it after putting our baby to sleep, getting up with baby early mornings on his days off, offering to hang out with baby so I can shower etc. He leaves his dishes all around the house, if he uses the last of the ice in the ice mold, he just leaves it in the counter for me to fill up. They are small things but when he used to do them, it showed me that he at least wanted to help me out a little bit.
He is the most mad at me I have ever seen him. He isn’t telling me he loves me- we are big “I love you” people, usually saying it to each other multiple times a day.
He’s called me dramatic, crazy, and that I’ve lost my mind over this. He is so cold towards me.
I want to mention that I do what I can to earn my own money to help with groceries and small things like formula or diapers. Sometimes the timing of side gigs overlap with his work schedule so I’m not able to earn any money that day, but I do try.
I would normally ask my brother for advice since his wife is an AMAZING sahm, but my brother is my husband’s boss so it might make things awkward.
I feel so lost and lonely. Does he have a point? Do I have no right to ask for help with housework or our baby since he is the money earner?

Has anyone tried to the to live for chocolate cake? Planning a baby shower for a vegan colleague - A lot of vegans in my life swear by this bakery, but the only cake I've had from them was the funfetti and frankly it was... bad. But I have hope for a double chocolate cake? Or would people recommend elsewhere like Level V or Vogue? I've also heard whole foods has a really good vegan chocolate cake.

Just A Question
because well you know since they're now public domain

I feel like a terrible mom to even be complaining about this - but I feel like I'm losing myself over here.
My husband and I have a sweet 18m old son. We are fortunate enough to have well paying M-F jobs and a great day home for our little guy. Downside - we have a bit of a commute, ~50 minutes each way and travel separately as my husband starts earlie usually works later than me. I get up at 5am, pack our lunches, say goodbye to hubs, showeget ready, wake the baby & feed him/get him ready, daycare drop off, work, daycare pick up, home to make dinner, clean up, god forbid it's bath night, put the baby to bed for 7ish, clean up from the evening, fold a load of laundry or do whatever mundane task needs to be done and then it's 9pm and I'm exhausted. Weekends are spent trying to keep our busy guy entertained, running errands, visiting family etc. I don't have time to work out, I rarely read anymore, I don't get to watch my comfort shows (although bluey is coming in clutch) - I just feel like I don't get time to myself and all I am is a mom and wife now. On paper I should be happy because I 'have it all', and although I'm not unhappy per se, I feel like I'm missing something. Idk what I'm looking for here - advice? Just a vent? Maybe I just need to hear that I'm not alone or there is potentially a light at the end of this very dark tunnel.

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