Sons makes mom suck

These posts fill my timeline and make me roll my eyes. The stigma runs so deep for this disease. People truly have been taught that this is a disease that "fat" "unhealthy" people gave themselves. It's sucks. That's all.

Soo, I'm pretty well just realizing how I've been emotionally neglected most of my life growing up. Not to mention the lack of respect my mom and sister have towards me anymore..
Tiny Background: My family has always been the "tough love" type of family. Didn't tell each other that we loved each other much, we just kinda knew we did. Didn't hear it from mom much.. never was the lovey dovey type of family with all the hugs and kisses and such. You fall over "ahhh, get up you're finee.." Never was emotionally open with each other.. if we were it somehow lead into some kind of argument.
Anywayyy...
A lot of the time growing up and even currently to this day I am deemed as the "sensitive" one. I cant take a "joke." So on and so forth.. Times I would come to my mom about things going on in my life and instead of the listening to me with support and understanding I was met with criticism or judgment. Anytime I would go to my sister to tell her things you should want to talk to your sister about and trust that she would keep in confidentiality she would break that trust and go to mom about whatever it was. And lately I have noticed that since moving out in 2020 that my family never really has checked up on me.. they don't even text to ask how I am doing, only time that I hear from them is if there is some family event that occurs in us having to talk and plan out whats going on, and who's coming or who is driving etc. Not only that but anytime I am with my family (mainly my mom and sister) I am suddenly the butt of the jokes that they make, usually including my dating life.
Most of the time I would be excited to tell my family about some new interest I have whether that be with someone new in my life or whatever new hobby I may have picked up. But it always would result in them laughing and claiming how apparently an ex of mine looked like my dad (my parents divorced when i was approximately 8yrs old) and laugh about how I have a type in the men I choose...
Something that pushed me over the edge this past 2023 family Christmas was a comment my sister made and then my mom chimed in with some other "joke"/hurtful comment. We were all playing Cards Against Humanity as we do most holidays and something about the card that I had pulled brought up the topic of my dating life.. and my sister brought up apparently having "daddy issues" and then my mom chimed in with her comment, I don't remember what she said because I was simply over here being stuck mentally about why tf my sister would make a "joke" like that, and they both were laughing about it. THAT HURT! I played the game for like 5 more mins and I said I was done and moved out of the way to sit across the room. Anyway as the day went on I was driving back home to my place from my moms since we had all carpooled at the time. And all I could think about was what my sister had said earlier that day and was bawling on the way home hurt by her "joke."
At that point I had told myself to never tell my family anything about my life that essentially had made me happy within my dating life. Cause all that they would do is "tease me" and make fun of my life and the people I was enjoying life with.
I will say that it hurts though.. cause I had dealt with this bs from my family my whole life, and to not feel safe in telling them personal things anymore has been more of a grieving process for me.
First it was my sister betraying my trust in telling her things I would think a sister would keep to herself, and continuing to even do so today. And then it was the fact that my sister and my mom now essentially team up against me anytime i see them just to make me feel like shit. Now anytime there is a family event all I can think is what bs are they gonna pull out of their asses to make fun of me this time?
I just never understood it.. why me?

This particular event happened a few days ago, so some emotions (and/or lack thereof) are still a bit raw.
For context: My (f, 27) ex friend (f, 22) and I used to be inseparable in all ways you could imagine. It was almost like we were sisters and many of our mutual friends considered us as such. We would video chat, text, talk, hang out, and all that jazz every single day. My ex-friend (I'll call her Hannah) also has a known streak woth many mutual friends to say "fuck all" and burn every bridge possible for a man. As of right now, Hannah's on a crazy emotional bender as she is preparing to move halfway across the USA for a player-military dude who has a track record of going through women, they've dated for less than a year, and their ENTIRE relationship is based on rebound sex.
While I have been nothing but encouraging to her on her endeavors for love and liberty, I have my personal opinions that I haven't shared with her directly as she's already heard it from other friends. This move will also be a HUGE growing-up process for her as everything she has now (apartment, car, lack of bills) has all been handed to her by her family.
I just recently celebrated my birthday (I had a huge party that she was invited to and didn't show), mother's day, bid my baby brother a farewell as he's gone off to basic. All of these things, Hannah was aware of... but she ignored me for weeks and I passed it off as her being busy with her huge move. Reasonable, right? That's what I thought as well until I saw daily snap stories or fb reels of her getting hammered at a concert one night, or with friends the other, and of course, restaurant photos with her family. She moves in a little under a month, so it was shocking to me to see her out and about so much because she was so stressed about saving money.
Fast forward to this last weekend - I was very upset with Hannah and was planning on what to say to her to work all of this out. That plan went out the window when the first thing she messaged me after weeks of ignoring me was, "How much money do you make hourly?" Around 11:00pm after not saying anything to me for weeks. I told her to research my pay on our job's company page since it's pretty open (we work at the same place).
Hannah then asked me what was wrong, and my response was something to the effect of, "You haven't spoken to me for weeks, missed my birthday, mother's day, and everything I told you about, and this is the first thing you text me?" I never received an actual apology, and her responses escalated from, "ok whatever. I'll eat that." To, "I missed your birthday, so what? It's not like it's a big deal."
I was surprisingly in a calm demeanor when I informed her that I cannot deal with inconsistent relationships by any means and how much I gave up my comforts and boundaries to be her friend as we ran in separate circles, and Hannah wanted me to open up a bit more and not make my marriage and children my entire personality. Hannah's response to this was a very mature, "You're not needed or important." And, "I'm so happy I'm leaving now, because I'm tired of you always being mad at someone." Which is far from the truth about my personality.
After receiving all that, I figured the conversation was going nowhere, so I turned off my phone and went to bed. The next morning, I discovered that she removed me from all social media. For the last few days, a notification pops up on my TikTok stating that she viewed my profile (almost daily). Maybe I'm not as unimportant as she claims I am.
The only other person I've told (beside my husband and mother) is my friend, and Hannah's ex-friend (I'll call him Junior). Since then, Junior's informed me that she has been speaking poorly and has been going through the wringer mentally, emotionally, and financially. My response to this was how much I don't care anymore which is new territory for me, and feels like a half-truth right now... like I'm convincing myself to not give a fuck. I've always been the cry-on-my-shoulder mom friend, even before I had children. I mourn for the good memories before the fallout, but I need to put my foot down and speak up for myself. AITAH for that?

I'm doing.. not great mentally for a whole bunch of reasons.
My mom makes it about her any time I try and open up and makes excuses for the people who are contributing to my mental health being so bad constantly. I'm reaching my limit; I haven't felt this hopeless in a long time.
Any time I bring up the past or traumatic memories she usually magically can't or doesn't remember what happened. Everything seems so... Unimportant to her. Like "raising" me (I use the term loosely, she was barely involved once I developed a personality and backbone) and is constantly emotionally manipulating me into feeling so sorry and bad for her. How hard it was raising me and my issues as if she isn't the root of them all

I originally was going to keep Reddit just straight for the adult material but I am spiral and so bad mentally. I'm on the verge of tears, my suicidal bolts are escalating exponentially, My anxiety is through the roof, and I am so angry, and frustrated. I'm not caring about grammar or sentence structure. To set the stage I am a primary single father. My son tried to hurt himself over the winter break and refused to see his mom. He has mom issues so the next 9 weeks of school he state completely with her to try to alleviate the issues. His grades suffered the last time weeks greatly. He now sees that he can get away with everything because if we push for anything he just will do the harm again. That being said this is the last 9 weeks of school and he has two D's, two C's, a bee, and an a! My son is beyond smart. He just did not put in the work and the work he did put in was half ass. He has gotten a I don't give a fuck attitude and I am screaming. And I am hurting. I busted my ass alone and now all this is out of my hands because the ex-wife's family does not back My wishes for his schooling. So I am fighting them about that and he is listening to them that these shitty grades are okay. I live in a small town. I talked to a therapist but that is the only support I have! I'm so fucking lost dude so so lost. Someone rescued me!

Recently, for the 3rd time, I have had a friend who's divorced and remarried father passed away.
Each time, the same thing happened... new wife took every cent and left the kids out in the cold.
Me? I don't need to worry about it- my dad died when I was a kid and mom will just leave me debt.
But it was heartbreaking to watch my friends go through this.
The most recent example was the worst. Mom died 15-17 years back. Dad got remarried. Dad's health declines, daughter visited non stop as always. Dad wasn't well off, but he had a paid off car and a few bucks stashed. When his first wife passed he put much of the life insurance in bonds for the daughter and her 2 kids.
Dad passes. New wife names her son executor. They sold his car when he went to the hospital, and cleaned out the bank accounts.
There was still a few little stocks and assets to be divided up on the new, revised will.
75 percent to new wife, 25 to kid. New wife (They are jewish) spent over 15k on funeral at the synagogue and the burial- all her doing. Beyond that, she had every last sentimental item appraised... even his old wife's remaining jewlery... and used that as the percentage to be paid.
... they took that out of dad's assets, effectively cleaning him out. Grand total left to daughter? Roughly 1,800 bucks American. Paid in getting to claim her mother's jewelry. They even counted a backgammon set as 5 bucks.
New wife's son, the executor, got 7500 for being the executor.
This woman who l8ves in a 7 figure home paid off by her late husband (40 years of appreciation on the house), who is set for life and who's kid will inherit 7 figures minimum had zero problem squandering every dime of his daughters inheritance.
... the moral of this rant is, talk to your parents if you expect to be named in the will, and make sure they understand that their new family holds no love for his old family when money is concerned.
Dad may love and respect the new wife, may think she is a great person... but that won't carry over to you.
You will meet a new person entirely when estates are involved.

When they enter the chocolate room full of different types of candy you look around and you see what each person is eating.
When Wonka is drinking out of the saucer and cup the cup is filled with lemonade and the cup itself and the saucer are made of lemon tart candy
Watching Logan's candies on YouTube shows you how they make all sorts of tart candy into candy canes and discs
Mike TeeVees mom with the Mario mushroom is eating the filling that's made by Little Debbie's I'm thinking the mushroom itself is Willy Wonka's very first idea for oatmeal cream pies
Mike TeeVees himself was eating jelly beans from the tree that Willy knocked down
Veruca salt was eating a large jelly filled donut but in the size of a sphere.
Violet Beauregard daddy was chewing on the very first form fruit Roll-Up in Wonka's idea
What are your guesses

Hello! I’m going to keep this short and simple. I hate school right now. I have no motivation, I’m crying , feel depressed, have no life, stressed 24/7, etc. I’m debating on dropping out the only reason I haven’t is to make my mom proud :/ I brought up dropping out to her and she basically started to cry and did not take it well. My boyfriend does well on his own and wants me to work with him which is my back up plan. I’m not sure what to do. I have a year left in my ABSN program but am not even sure this is what I want anymore. Any advice?

for example, when my sister or I talk about how something she did is toxic or something gets brought up she’ll be like “I know, Im so sorry you have the worst mom ever” and then when we say something like “this is what we mean, you’re not actually sorry, you’re just doing that to try to make us pity you” and she’ll eventually go “OWW” in the conversation pretending she just got a head, ear or back pain (probably trying to gain more sympathy) 💀

My SO just got into a huge fight and honestly, it’s always reoccurring because 99% of the time it’s about the kids and money. As you can imagine sports, school and everything else for 5 kids is a lot of money. The first year and a half of our relationship I supported the kids and him financially. I won’t take all the credit but without me he wouldn’t have been able to do it. We have them EOWE and it had got to the point when it was our weekend we didn’t have enough money for groceries, birthdays and to give BM when she asked. He pays $1,000 a month in CS. And no, in the past 3 years he hasn’t given her much for anything else, just what is required. $12,000 a year in CS, $12,000+ a year for medical and she gets to claim all the kids on taxes which is obviously is a lot. Today, our finances are better but we don’t have a big enough house for all the kids and we’re trying to get in the position to make it happen. Anyways, I have a hard time understanding why all the kids need to be in sports. It’s a lot but they both have the mindset of it’s the kids are happy that’s all that matters and I really do understand the reasoning. I have one son and I want those things for him. He isn’t good at communicating things to me about BM or the kids, so is it wrong to assume I have the right to know things? BM can be HC and he doesn’t speak his mind even when he should. He’s blind to realize that parental alienation has been happening, but doesn’t fight to fix that issue. He tells me today that he needs to pay $275 for cheer and the deadline is in a few days. He was made aware two weeks ago, so how does that not effect my household when an unexpected finance happens. Sure we’ll make it happen but it triggered me especially when three of the kids have birthdays coming up. He needed to get a cash loan until his payday just to cover it. That’s the history of their relationship. They were so broke cash loans were constant and I personally don’t want to live like. And we wouldn’t have to if we budgeted like we need to do.
I think it’s the fact that BM will tell him the plans instead of discussing it with him first. I feel like any plans about the children should be discussed with him before she makes any decision. And his boys were just in baseball and BM will ONLY send him the schedule of the games she wants him to attend. Or the games that fall on our weekend. So when the 11 year old calls asking where his dad is and we weren’t aware, nothing is said. He just looks like a POS and BM gets the laugh. The control BM has because nothing is ever done. He lets her get away with stuff.
He called me and BM a bitch. The first time he’s ever called me that, and that he’s trapped. And now I feel like I’m overreacting.

before anything else, kaya sa lahat ng babae na naghahanap ng jowa o magpapakasal na, be with someone who have the same dreams, goals, and financial success as you are. wag kayo mauuto sa love love lang or sa good looks lang. wala naman yang patutunguhan. in the long run, men who are emotionally intelligent, financially secured, and someone who has a feasible dream, hindi yung puro salita lang, ang lalaking dapat mapakasalan (same with sa mga lalaki na naghahanap ng jowa o magpapakasal na)
hindi na deserve ng nanay namin ang pagod na binibigay ng tatay namin. pabigat nalang ang tatay namin, sa totoo lang.
our father verbally abuses mom, calls her "tanga", "walang common sense", and "bobo". he would never make her feel loved, and on top of it, walang pera. my mom is a very successful ob-gyne. malaki pera, madaming pasyente, and everyone loves her. minsan may topak, but aren't we all naman? our dad never gave us peace of mind, masyadong idealistic sa bansa, madaming gusto patunayan sa mundo, and even ran for mayor noon, thrice pa kahit palaging talo, and on top of it, using mom's funds pa. partida, puro salita lang ito kasi hindi naman niya ginagawa. mom gave him a business para may kwenta naman siya, pero laging breakeven lang. pinapabayaan nalang namin kesa naman nasa bahay lang siyang inaagnas.
dad's ego is bigger than his dreams, more so, dad's pride is nowhere near the reality that he really is: palamunin. on top of it, hindi pa natulong sa gawaing bahay, and although we have a maid, wala naman siyang ginagawa kundi utusan kaming lahat na parang siya ang bumuhay sa amin. pwe.
my brothers and i (2 kuyas, and me girl na bunso) are all professionals already. my eldest, a doctor; my middle kuya a lawyer, and me another lawyer. we did all of this because of our mom.
kaya sana magkadivorce na sa Pilipinas so that our mother could leave this scum. our mom deserves better. she is a beautiful, intelligent doctor who goes above and beyond for all of us, family, relatives, and patients. she deserves someone who would call her beautiful everyday, someone who would love her and be grateful to have her, and not this man who is nothing but a piece of shit in human form.

2am again. 23 hours in bed, can't tell days apart. Standing up immediately makes me nauseous and dizzy. Can't stop shaking and brainzapping. I'm almost out of my pills and when I run out I think it's over. They make my thoughts freeze, once I get that knot in my stomach- time for another one and back to sleep. Will wait till 8am, then have to book appointment with gp for my mom. Then I don't know what I'll do. All I want is to wash my hair, put on my new dress and get my forever sleep.

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I'm an altar server at my church, and have been for several years. Over time, I've encountered several different types of people, some nice, some not so nice, but this one takes the cake.
First Encounter: (Mid-summer, 2015) I'm enjoying a nice evening out, relaxing at a local casino, sitting at the sportsbook deli counter, watching baseball. I hear a voice to my right say "How's Dagwood?" (obviously not real name). I figure since I'm in a deli, it's someone asking about the sandwich of that name. Then, I get tapped on the shoulder, and there's a lady standing there. She asks, "You work at St. Anonymous church, right?" Well, no, I'm just an altar server, but whatever. She proceeds to clarify that she's inquiring about our associate pastor, Father "Dagwood." She hasn't seen him in several weeks, and wants to know if he's okay. He was on vacation. This was announced. I reassure her of his okayness, in fact I had even seen him earlier that day. She thanks me, moves on. Off-putting, due to her not calling him Father at first, but overall not too bad. If only it had remained that way.
Second Encounter: (Fall, 2015) I'm enjoying a nice evening out, at the same local casino. This time I'm in the restroom, fixing my hair, which had gotten messed up a little. I'm not really paying attention to the other women in the restroom (I never really do). Suddenly, I hear the same question again, "You work at St. Anonymous, right?" Well, no, I'm just an altar server... She proceeds to ask my about the "old gentleman in the wheelchair" that attends the Mass I serve. That would be our founding pastor. She insists no, not the "Old Father," the other gentleman in the wheelchair. Spoiler: There is none. The only other regular at that time in a wheelchair is decidedly female, comes with her husband. The woman is insistent, there is another man in a wheelchair, his daughter is the young minister with the long brown hair. I'm just "not recalling, and will know who she's talking about when I see him." Not only is there no other man in a wheelchair, there is no young female minster with long brown hair. Just for giggles, I double-check with our coordinator that following weekend, ask if there's ever been a minister whose father was in a wheelchair. Nope. Never. Overall, this encounter was slightly more annoying, but again, not too bad in the scope of things. If only it had ended here.
Third Encounter: (March, 2016) My mom and I go out for a lovely St. Patrick's Day buffet dinner. On the way home, she suggests stopping off for some grocery shopping. We're strolling through the store, and as we're about to turn onto the next aisle, the same woman from before is coming off that aisle. She instantly recognizes me, and starts gushing. Then, she notices my shirt. It's a skull wearing a green Irish tam, surrounded by snakes in various shades of green. The woman switches from the happy gushing to having a mild meltdown over the shirt. It's "evil", it's "Satan", "snakes & skulls mean the devil". She says I shouldn't wear it. Well, I figure she wouldn't know if I ever intend to wear it again or not, so I try shrugging off her mini-rant, and move on, but she stops me, and continues to insist I shouldn't wear the shirt. "You should take it off!" My brain finally processes that she expects me to take the shirt off, right then & there in the middle of the store, and either finish shopping in my bra, or at the very least make my way to the exit, then drive home in only my bra. I know some women are comfortable doing things like that, but I'm not one of them. My mother tries reassuring the woman, telling her it represents St. Patrick expelling the snakes from Ireland. The woman is not convinced, and it visually disappointed that I will not remove the shirt on the spot. She finally walks away, shaking her head, and continuing to advise me to get rid of the shirt. By this encounter, I'm certainly wishing I lived on a different planet from this woman. Unfortunately, the story does not quite end here.
Fourth Encounter: (Summer, 2022) I'm sitting in the room where we get ready for Mass, talking with one of the ministers. We get there early to set up, and it was still just us at this point. Suddenly, a woman appears in the doorway. Since it's been over 6 years at this point, and the lady had gone gray, I didn't recognize her at first. We ask her if we can help her with anything, and she suddenly walks right in (you're not supposed to do that, there's a very large sign on the door stating AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY). She stands in front of where we're sitting, and starts telling me I shouldn't wear shorts, because "Father's human." Doesn't specify which priest she's worried about (we have 2 assigned currently), just keeps repeating that I shouldn't be wearing shorts because "Father's human." I try explaining that, being summer, and we live in the desert, I wear shorts because the robes I have to wear are very hot, and if I wear pants, I will get sick from overheating (been there, done that, multiple times, almost passed out during a livestream once). In fact, just 3 weeks prior, I wore pants because the weather was stormy, and I started feeling woozy during Mass. However, before I can get more than 3 words out, the woman just asserts again that I shouldn't wear the shorts. She even starts gesturing to my reflection in the mirror (rather than actually to me), trying to get the minister to see where she's coming from. However, the minister is on my side, and also tries explaining that I'll overheat if I wear pants under the robes, but she also gets cut off with "Yes, but, Father's human." We try pointing out that due to how early I get there, I'm always robed up before the priest even gets there, so he never sees me in the shorts, but she won't hear it. Then, there's the icing on the cake. She says that she'd been meaning to "remind me" of this for several weeks, but kept forgetting, until "Jesus & Mary spoke to her last night, reminding her to remind me." That Father's human. Good to know. I often worry that the priest celebrating Mass is a robot, or an extraterrestrial. Anywho, she goes on like this for a good five minutes, before finally walking out, clearly under the impression that I'm agreeing with her not to wear shorts anymore, even though I've done nothing but reaffirm that as long as the weather is hot, I'll be wearing shorts. When I went out to light the candles, I saw she was sitting in the front row, on the left side. I joked with the minister that when I get up there at the beginning of Mass, I should hike the robe up, and sit with my legs in full view. (I didn't). It wasn't until later that I realized it was the same woman from before, the same temperament, the same demeanor, the same voice quality, etc. It had been long enough I'd almost forgotten her, but this episode brought it all back.
I haven't encountered her again since, but I keep an eye out for her. I'll do my best to avoid her. And continuing wearing shorts in the summer. Oh, and I proudly wear my Irish Skull shirt every St. Patrick's Day.

So, for some context - the pedopsychiatrist that diagnosed me sent a summary of sorts to the school I started going to in 2017-2018, and I only had received my diagnosis in the summer just before the year started. On it, it clearly says "Autism Spectrum Disorder of severity level 2".
My parents however are either trying so hard to believe I'm a level 1 (which they oh so detestably (in my opinion) refer to as "Asperger's" even though the term is not used anymore??) or they've been lied to, to, I don't know, soften the blow I guess??
They keep saying things like "oh you're not autistic anyway like if the diagnosis criteria were better you wouldn't even qualify".
Here's the thing: - I stim a shit ton - I've always found making friends hard - Household chores are insurmontable - I barely can do 10 minutes of cleaning on good days because my energy levels go down the drain right after that. On normal days, I just can't clean. At all. - I have a very hard time gathering the energy to shower. I often go 5 days without showering. They're trying to make me build the habit of brushing my teeth and I'm really trying but I just don't have the actual goddamn energy for that. - I barely can make myself food. Like it's really exhausting, and my go-to is usually eggs you know but then I see that the pans aren't cleaned and I kinda. End up just having cheese slices instead for the protein. And guess what? When I do have the energy to make me something, they're like "oh by the way we're having you cook for us!" MCFUCKING EXCUSE ME???? I DON'T HAVE THE GODDAMN ENERGY. Even cooking for two is extremely harder for me!
And they never listen to me it's infuriating. I always tell them, hey I genuinely can't do this right now and they tell me I'm just lazy and looking for excuses - NO I'M NOT??? I'd really want to but I just can't.
And I just... Ugh. They keep denying that I have difficulties and stuff. They're like, you're at that age where you should be able to do this, and that, and whatever. But no matter what interventions I call on with the help of my social worker, of my psychologist, my helper at school and the literal principal, they still refuse to listen to me when I say that I cannot do something, and if they do even slightly believe it, they'll go like, "oh, it's just your (not even yet diagnosed but medicated) generalized anxiety disorder!"
How many times do I have to tell you, mom and dad, that yes, I have difficulties with... -Household chores -Cooking -Hygiene -Even just exercising -Or hell, having more than 3 classes in a day
And that it's just too much, especially if you keep on trying to put more on my plate, and just berate me but never support me? I'm never gonna be able to be even slightly independant if you keep doing this and I really want to be more independant but it's just not possible.
Sorry for the very long rant post I just had a lot on my mind.
Thank you if you've read it all, and thank you still if all you're able to really read right now is the following TLDR:
My parents most likely know that my official diagnosis is Level 2 ASD, yet keep comparing me to neurotypicals and lower support need people in general, and refuse to listen to me or any reliable adults I bring on in about this.
(Not to mention that they have literally another autistic child and a dyspraxic child. What the fuck?)

I am the youngest of 4. The dinner table always sat 6, dad at the head, mom opposite with the two oldest outside and me and my closest brother inside. The table was a walnut color and the chairs were a faux leather brown color with two straps over the back part. (can't find an online photo to show). My mom would mostly cook 4 course meals: meat, starch side, steamed veg, iceberg lettuce salad. By the time the mid 80s came, the two oldest were gone and my brother and I could sit on the outside. My dad got a manager position which meant nice money but also dad didn't come home for dinner >50% of the time. Mom had switched more to TV dinners and easier dinners like soup starters, steak ums and frozen meal addons. Don't blame her one bit because by then she'd been making dinners for 20+ years. The one thing other I remember is my mom went bowling on Thursday nights, from the late 70s to the late 80s, so dad and I would clean up the kitchen together.

i’m a server, clearly, and at the place i work there’s almost always at least 3-4 other servers on. i normally close with them. there’s a list of chores and shift lead assigns them about half an hour to close. i try to get mine done as quickly as possible, considering customers leaving and stuff, and then there’s silverware. all silverware has to be done before anyone can leave. the other servers like 5-10 minutes away, max. i live almost half an hour away, but make the drive because the jobs near me suck. i’ve been finding myself and maybe one other doing silverware after chores while the rest kinda just fuck around, including the shift lead. we close at 10 and haven’t been getting out until 11-11:30 because there’s only 2-3 people doing silverware, meaning i’m not getting home until almost midnight. do i tell the owner, who is very sweet and understanding but runs a tight ship? or do i just let it go and allow it to continue to happen?