Is it advisable to get a style like kinky two strand twist over locs? And how long should I stay with with the protective style to prevent any damage ?

Is it advisable to get a style like kinky two strand twist over locs? And how long should I stay with with the protective style to prevent any damage ?

I live in fayetteville North Carolina, single 29 female about 15minutes from base. My apartment is pretty spacious and plot twist there's no furniture so you could have plenty of room to store your stuff or we could split costs and get furniture and dishes together.
My personality: I'm kinky, I'm fun, I'm open, I'm loving, I'm poly, but I do have lung cancer and I would like someone who understands that. Communication is important to me rent would only cost $500.
I prefer to have a male roommate, my female lover passed away and I want to honor what her and I shared, I don't think she'd like me living with another woman. Probably would haunt the apartmentm
I keep a clean house, I can cook, and if needed I can cover your half of the rent.
Inbox me! Thank you.

Hello Guys,
I have made a list of top Hair Iron Curlers according to what Redditors like the most. I've made this this after reading a lot of discussions on different subreddits and According to my insights these are the most liked Iron Curlers by redditors:
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Top Hair Iron Curlers 2024

1. GHD Curve Creative Curl Wand
2. Beachwaver PRO Curling Iron
3. Shark HD430 FlexStyle Air Styling & Drying System
4. T3 CurlWrap 1.25″ Automatic Rotating Curling Iron
5. Bio Ionic NanoIonic MX Long Barrel Curling Iron
6. Infinty Pro by Conair Secret Automatic Curling Iron
7. Ion Golden Titanium Curling
8. Iron Dyson Airwrap

GHD Curve Creative Curl Wand:
The GHD has a unique design, with a tapered barrel that starts off round and graduates to a flat oval at the top, tapering from 1-inch to 0.9-inch. Both of these traits keep the curls from molding into a strategically tapered curl, which can sometimes look too perfect and unnatural. The slight taper and the gritty finish of the barrel keeps the hair from sliding down as it can do with a barrel that has a super-glossy finish.
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Beachwaver PRO Curling Iron:
Beachwaver Pro is an innovative professional rotating curling iron invented by celebrity hairstylist Sarah Potempa. This curling iron rotates in both directions to give you glamorous, bombshell waves with the touch of a button.
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Shark HD430 FlexStyle Air Styling & Drying System:
With the Shark Air Styling & Drying System, you can easily transform between a powerful, fast, hair dryer, and an ultra-versatile multi styler with no-heat-damage. One twist is all it takes to flex from one to the other. Attach different stylers and unlock the ability to curl, volumize, smooth, and dry. Lightweight & powerful, FlexStyle is the answer to fast, easy styling.
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T3 CurlWrap 1.25″ Automatic Rotating Curling Iron:
The T3 CurlWrap features a long, 1.25″ auto-rotating barrel and 2 SmartCurl timer settings for fast, easy, flawless curls and waves. A two-way AutoTwist switch steers effortless barrel rotation, and Digital T3 SinglePass Technology powers 9 precise heat settings for lasting curls on all hair types.
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Bio Ionic NanoIonic MX Long Barrel Curling Iron:
The Bio Ionic curling iron offers six labeled heating settings ranging from 250°F to 430°F, increasing in increments of 30°F. I chose 360°F, which the brand recommends for “normal hair.” The longer, 1.25-inch thick barrel makes it easier to curl larger sections of hair at once without forfeiting your desired style. While clamps can sometimes leave kinks in the hair that force you to redo a lock of hair, this one didn’t.
I enjoyed using this iron, but some with short or medium-length hair may find it bulky or unnecessary for achieving their desired style. On the other hand, if you have long hair that makes it difficult to get an even, tight curl from root to tip, this extra-long curling iron could be your solution.
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Infinty Pro by Conair Secret Automatic Curling Iron:
InfinitiPRO By Conair Curl Secret Auto Curler is the way to create curls that won’t quit. Select a temperature, a curl type, and a curl direction, then place a section of hair into the slot. Push START & watch hair gently wrap around the barrel.
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Ion Golden Titanium Curling:
If you’re after curls that last, you might want to give the Ion curling iron with the highest temperature a shot. It really stood out in our tests, especially for those with thick or coarse hair. People loved how it excelled in so many areas, like how easy it was to grip and maneuver, the simple controls, its compact size, and most importantly, how well it kept those curls intact.
One thing users particularly liked was that the clamp is the same length as the barrel, which is great for folks with shorter hair. And the shorter handle? Well, that keeps your hand in just the right spot to reach the thumb grip easily. Just a heads up though, the handle can get a tad warm when you crank up the heat to the max.
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Iron Dyson Airwrap:
The Airwrap is a styling tool with multiple heads and a controlled heat system. Essentially, it’s meant to be your hairdryer, straightener, and styler all in one as well as a healthier way to style your hair.
But all of this innovation comes with a sky high sticker price. If it means you’re able to swap out your hair dryer, flat iron and curling tools for one item, though, we think it’s justifiable. You can also opt for sets that target different hair types and textures, including long or short barrel sets, and attachments for kinky hair.
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I’m really, really, starting not to like my hair. It bothers me that there’s all this extra work in order to take care of it properly, since it’s super curly (4b or 4c?)
My hair grows, and it’s quite healthy. The longest I’ve had it was to my butt. Right now, its just below my chest. So it’s not a growth or length issue. I’ve also never had it relaxed, I’ve been natural all my life. My routine and products I use are minimal, and I have the techniques down. I would say I’m quite experienced.
My main issue is that it’s not quite versatile. I know people mention all the things you can do to it, but it’s usually wigs, braids, or silk presses. I hate wigs, I hate braids, and constantly straightening your hair damages it and that’s its own set of upkeep. And if it is natural, the styles require a bunch of gel and tension.
For a few years, I had my hair in twists. That’s how I got my hair to my butt. But because of how long it was getting, I would only touch my hair once a month (I know, disgusting). It was getting to the point that I would start in the morning, and at best, end late in the night. I tried doing it more often, which did cut down on the time, but it still took basically all day just in more frequent intervals. I eventually decided to just take the twists out. Due to basically neglecting my hair, I had so many split ends and single strand knots I had to cut more than half my hair 😭
When I looked online for what to do with my hair, all I saw was wigs and weave. I get hot and sweaty easily, and I don’t like the idea of not having access to my scalp, so wigs are a no. I’ve had braids before, but I don’t like sitting down for hours to do my hair, and I didn’t want to continue waiting a month to do my hair or only having it in for 1-2 weeks and taking it out. I don’t trust myself to use heat, and I hate gel as it’ll make my hair greasy quickly. I also wanted styles where I didn’t have to worry about my hair too much, since I like to swim. But without those styles, it’s hard to have your hair looking decent.
My alternative to gel was to detangle and style my hair everyday. I would detangle it in the shower and style it when I came out. Since I didn’t moisturize it, that end up leaving my hair dry and with single strand knots, so I had to cut my hair again. Then I applied moisture every other day, which stopped the knots, but now my hair was getting dirty easily. Also, the routine of taking the time to section my hair, detangle each section, twist it up, and then find a style was getting tiresome. Finding a style while having kinky hair, there’s only a handful of hairstyles that work with no gel, so it was quite discouraging.
Eventually, I just decided to leave my hair in four braids and wash it once a week. My routine is simple: I detangle it in the shower before I start shampooing, I leave it in sections the whole time, leave the conditioner to sit while I wash myself, detangle and rinse it, use water and oil and braid them up. Throughout the week, as it gets frizzy, I detangle and braid it in the shower (which is about every other day).
I look back and I’m like, why all this work??? I watch people with straight and loose curls a lot and I wish I could do what they could with their hair. I wish I could just wake up, brush it out, and it’s decent looking or I can immediately style it. Or, even if I have to wet and detangle it, I wish I didn’t have to constantly section it off, and only let the water “reset” my curls. Since my curls are tight and can knot easily, I don’t wear it out without detangling it first which isn’t a simple ordeal either.
I wish I could do minimal to no sectioning, and when I’m done detangling I could take it all out and just brush through it. I wish it would stay decently detangled throughout my shampooing, and all I have to do is a quick brush through my head with the conditioner in before rinsing it out. I wish it didn’t take me almost 2 HOURS TO WASH AND BRAID MY HAIR EVERY WEEK! I wish when I styled it, I could leave more hair out and do cute minimal hairstyles, not worry about having to “stretch it out” or do looks that could be achieved with minimal to no gel (my hair just isnt like that lol). I wish I could just moisturize it and let it dry and be done with it.
I’ve had long hair: down my butt, lower back, and now I’m letting it grow out again and it’s about mid back. I can’t show off my length! I’ve always wanted long hair, and now that I do, I can’t even take it out and see it all because it’ll just shrink and be a hassle! I think my curls are pretty, but shrinkage limits styles so much and since they’re tight, wearing my hair out just leaves it vulnerable to breakage.
Another issue I have is cleanliness. I wash my hair once a week, but like I said, I’m hot bodied. I’m also active, so I sweat a bunch. My hair just gets dirty so quickly! My issues always been that I can’t just wash it, since it takes so long. I have a life! I have stuff to do! This is tmi, but I hate that I can’t wash my sweaty head! It grosses me out, and I’m always scratching it. I feel like no matter what I do, I’m a slave to my hair. This has to be my biggest issue, it gives me the ick.
My only hope is to shave it. I don’t mind wearing wigs if I have nothing underneath, if I decide to wear wigs. I can also wash it however often I want to. My only issue is my femininity. I love long hair, I love having long hair. I love measuring my hair from time to time and being happy with how much it’s grown. I love the compliments I get about my hair being (unexpectedly) long. Also, my hair wasn’t always long. Before I learned what to do and how to take care of it, my hair was the same length for years and I envied those whose hair was long and loose. I mean I still do, but it’s more for versatility and ease rather than it is about looks (although that does still play a role). Now that I have it, I feel sad about letting it go. It’s kind of like my identity, which is also a reason why I want to shave it off. I’m also already insecure about looking manly, so while shaving my hair from here on out might be freeing, I feel like it’ll amplify another insecurity.
I don’t know what was the point of me making this or if anybody cares but this is my dilemma and I dunno if anyone’s going through something similar.

Not sure how I got approved here out of the blue but I guess my reputation for humiliation precedes me. I can share my first experience with sph and how my perspective on the little man clitty has changed.
It was high school and he was tall, muscular and handsome. He was a star football player, ruggedly athletic all around and looked like he belonged on the cover of men's health magazine. Yet he had a shrinking (haha) demeanor and wasn't cocky (haha) like the other jocks. I soon found out why.
Fast forward to a hot tub party, us two being the only ones left in the bubbling wet heat and my black lace panties floating on the surface of the water. Turns out this guy was MAYBE 3 inches rock hard. It was the biggest sexual let down and most disappointing, unsatisfying disappointment of my whole life then and ever since. I barely spoke to him after that, feeling like I had suffered a bait and switch!
Now had I known what I know now, maybe we wouldn't have missed an opportunity. Imagine if I could have opened him up to the idea that he deserved to be openly mocked and ridiculed for his tiny member. What if he could have found the twisted pleasure in deep shame of being humiliated for his inadequacy.
I have found my turn on by laughing at tiny peepees and verbally cutting tiny weewees down to size. I only hope he has also found a place to embrace his shortcoming and gets kinky pleasure from being told what a sad, sorry excuse for a man he is.

I, F(21) have been going to my saloonist F(33) for about 6 years. She has been an absolute angel in that time and we've never had any issues...up until recently. In my time with her my hair has never been healthier and it's slowly getting thicker and longer. I love it. My problem with her is that she has slowly started to act off with me. Last month I went to get some type of braids and instead of telling me that she couldn't do it, she plaited the most horrendous thing I've ever had. Even my partner commented on it. I felt so insecure I had to take it out after a week. Because of that, I had to redo my hair into some simple style since I couldn't rough it with my undone hair as there has been flooding and constant rains in my country for about 4 weeks. It was really bad for my finances as I can only afford to get my hair done once a month.(PS 3 of my colleagues told me it was bad. We're a small company of 5 people💔) My last straw happened today morning. I made an appointment with her for 10am today and she assured me that she'd be free. I got there at 9:55 but she hadn't arrived yet so I thought; no worries I can just have my wash and blowdry first and she'll be there. She arrived at 10:20, said hi, commented on how punctual I was, and started to work on another girl's hair. I thought she was just passing time to wait till my blowdry was over with. (They do this to make sure work gets done quicker) I was done by 10:30. She still didn't start on my head. The lady blow-drying my hair went to assist her and they ignored me for an hour. The most they did to acknowledge me was give me side eyes. The owner of the salon came in at 11 and went straight to assisting the two ladies so in total there were 3 professionals working on one girl's head. I was left alone to scroll on tiktok. I waited until 1:15PM. I'm not even joking. The hair I wanted wasn't even that hard it was some Fluffy Kinky twists that we've done before. I stood up to pay and suddenly they wanted to accommodate me but I said it's fine i just want to go home. They made me pay 30% more than the standard price for a wash and blowdry and made me promise to go back tomorrow. I've never been so angry in my life. I've decided to cut her off and find someone new but my aunt who knows her personally says she might take offense. I don't care. I just want to know if cutting her off is too drastic a measure. AITA for deciding to cut off my saloonist?

Hi! Ive got 2b low porosity waves that are already heavy on their own, but get even more weighed down with using products.
Some background story (not very important): since 2019 i’ve tried loads of different products but nothing truly worked. The only things that worked were Kinky Curly Custard + Shea Moisture Cupuacu Gel. But sadly the gel got discontinued, i turned out to be allergic to the custard and diffusing time was around 2 hours lol. Other than that - everything made my hair look dusty, stringy and weighed down. The waves were present, but they weren’t nearly as good as they’re on their own. List of hold-providing products that i’ve tried and they didn’t work(might forget something): DevaCurl Frizz free foam and Strong hold gel (were better than the following), Curlsmith In-Shower Fixer, SheaMoisture All Day frizz control, Garnier jelly, Giovanni Foam, Uncle Funky’s Daughter custard, DEP Sport Flex Hold Gel, Syoss Strong Hold gel, Twist Weather up gel, The Mane Choice mousses (both pink lemonade and peach black tea), Cake foam, Pantene foam.
I’ve given up on my hair for a year and few days ago decided to try again. I’ve only used a protein cream with no hold products and my waves curled up so nicely. On the next morning they were kinda flat, but still present. Now i’m thinking maybe there’s VERY lightweight product to provide good hold? Something liquidy/watery/barely there type of product. Like a magic water that will magically set my waves to last. I’ve been looking into getting Bounce Curl or Curlsmith hairspray, but most of reviews online state that they’re using it with other products and not on it’s own, so i’m not sure. Please recommend something that has been working for you if you have had the same problem. Thanks X

Hi.

I'm the type of guy to see a rather innocuous game with a light tone and be like "bet" and somehow twist its themes into some allegory about echo chambers and the end of empathy. This is a rant that will take up an incredible amount of your time. As I am posting in a place full of the unclean, I understand that some of you may not appreciate the enlightenment that I have to offer you. All I ask is that you take a few seconds to mull over in your head the points that I have to make, then come to your own conclusions, then throw out those conclusions in exchange for my own since my opinions are superior. Or don't. It's your life, and this is a dating simulator. We're both weirdos as far as general society is concerned.
You will learn to fear me. Spoilers for both First Date and Date To Die For, obviously.
The gods are gross icky narcissists, that alone should be enough to turn you off immediately, and yet people are into it. This is normal, you are allowed to be weird. However, what you are not allowed to be is stupid. If there is something made abundantly clear to me through my time with Sucker For Love, its this:
Life fucking sucks here.
You'd be minding your own business, anticipating retirement or a raise, then some horny motherfucker decides he wants to plow Cthussy and ends the world. This would be you. You would be the asshole that ends the world for Cthussy. Don't let chemicals get in the way of self preservation.

Prattling Preamble

Sucker for Love is a universe that asks the questions "What is love? What is free love? Is love possible with beings beyond comprehension that lack sympathy for mortal life and actively seek to end it for their own amusement?" and while I have virtually zero clue what the fuck I was going on about with the first two questions, the answer to the last one is ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU IMBECILE.
Firstly: Incest. Fucking ew. Doesn't matter that the gene puddle isn't in jeopardy due to their anomalous nature, its still gross as shit. This technically has nothing to do with the question of love but so help me Lincoln if I don't remind people.
Actual Firstly: The gods of this world are in a position where they are literally the center of the universe. A lot of their personalities tend to match that fact, meaning that they act bitch. Some people are into that, but healthy love cannot be supported through fetish alone.
Secondly: Some anomalous effects of the gods means that you can never be certain whether the feelings you have for them are genuine. How are you supposed to trust that the relationship you have with Thicked Up Milf mommy #7 is real if there is a chance you are under The Coomers Curse? Mental faculties failing in obnoxious ways is intrinsic to the Lovecraftian setting, and if it wasn't awful enough before with your brain leaking out your ears now you have to worry about a leaking heart.
Sorry, that was phrasing was too poetic for my character. Your heart suffers prolapse and you die of idiot disease.
Unfortunately, we are missing context. I cannot convince you nor myself with slander alone. When originally dedicating brain power to this shit-ass avenue of research, I had lacked the experience of playing through First Date. This is why, logically, I bought it just to better formulate this argument and also because Estir is actually human looking and therefore kosher. I think she's neat aside from the whole Coomer's Curse deal she puts on rich dudes, but I digress. Using the data I have uncovered from Date to Die For and First Date, I shall convince you definitively that these fictional women are a waste of your time and you should pursue others that genuinely value your existence.

The Things I Do For Love

Date to Die For immediately sets its tone through its premise: local fashion icon summons cthulu and condemns mankind to ruthless slaughter for a kiss. Not even sex, just a kiss. Firstly, what the fuck is wrong with man for ending worl? Secondly, what the fuck is wrong with man for asking only for a kiss? Even the gods are disturbed by the sheer pettiness of what he asks for, along with it being gross as shit since he is asking for a kiss from someone he literally just met like ew dude. Lucky for him, Ln'eta is willing to give love a chance. Horrific body mutilation ensues.
Even my furry-incongruent genes are still able to respect the fucking balls of D to just up and be a fucking infohazard for eldritch women. Still hate the world ending part, but I find him amusing. Time and time again he undergoes the grand task of satisfying a god, and its not even for infinite money or cool shit like that. Just a simple, fleeting moment between him and a being beyond time, cherished for eternity. He is stupid.
Ln'eta and Estir, for all their apathetic godliness, appear to be rather tame on the personality spectrum if you get past the threats of violence. Ln'eta offers a free hug which, in terms of gods that only operate through bargains, is very sweet. I would've killed to see that cg, but Darling in his chad-like glory denies it in service to the grindset. Other than that, she is the only being that we meet that appears to hold genuine care for him, with how tender she comes across at times. Estir, on the other hand, is a lot more bitch in the relationship side of things. You get the whole horrific body mutilation, slight me and ye shall perish yada yada with both of them, but with Estir it is made pretty explicit she's mostly dating Darling as a slight towards Ln'eta, also because she likes owning people. Now, behind all those immediate turn offs to a rational person, there are still "redeeming" qualities. She has a sort of tsundere thing about her, you know what I mean if you saw her. There is the surface layer, which is "She likes you" then beneath it there is the "I am manipulating you in service of my dark and evil objectives, love is for pussies I demand devotion" and then beneath that there is the "She likes you" layer again somehow. An odd creature, this one. Personally I'm more inclined towards Estir, cause even if she is bitch she at least mimics the righteous human form. Just ignore her lower body region which either contains sharp objects to be kept out of reach of children, or tentacles we should be avoiding at all costs. Only human women for us chads, weird girls are for wusses.
Honestly D might be the most wrong in this situation since the 2 fuckers never outright set out to end reality, it was Darling who was the one to perform the rituals. Even Ester, the woman with the slavery objective was disturbed by his actions, and she was gonna get him to do the silly stabbing ritual anyway (Its pretty funny to think that if D had waited 7 seconds he would've had an entirely different elder god on his hands.) Plus, it was rather kind of Ln'eta to make a "ritual" for hugging that has no strings attached.
First Date admittedly is going for a different vibe. You aren't supposed to think about the whole world ending, billions-must-die stuff since its playing into the whole joke of "horny dude risks it all for god thighs". Hell, the horror sequence in the first game is basically the lead-up to a punchline, with D's big D energy being the only thing keeping him sane in the face of horrors within comprehension (do better next time, Nyan. Ghosts and big screaming faces? I felt I understood those horrors pretty well. Id win.) It's almost as if my argument is falling apart by the seams.
You are stupid. I am not one to be outdone by simple platitudes and cute, wholesome 100 moments.
Its a more cozy game and supposed to be funny, I can respect stories like that. However, with the tonal shift of Date To Die For, and how it appears to be going in a more serious and nuanced direction, I feel fully within my rights to enter Poetry Teacher ModeTM. So, how is First Date re-contextualized in this new, more grim perspective?

Tentacles Over Your Eyes

Oh yeah baby, now we get to get into the utter bullshit that "The Fuckers" put Darling through. Listen, Ive never felt the touch of one who desires me. However, I feel like that to a sane person that body mutilation, self harm, and the literal end of the world in which billions are eaten alive by cosmic dickheads would be a deal breaker.
First on the chopping block is Cover-Art Bitch. Ln'eta is flawed near instantly with the "I'm gonna kick your ass if you break up with me" energy (colloquially known as yandere). For someone who wasn't particularly interested in the end of the world it really seemed to be her way or the highway throughout the ordeal. The only time the breakup ends on healthy terms is when it is under her authority alone, and even then it isn't an end to the relationship. She's just killing him to re-roll for better stats in the next universe. Bitch.
Next is Secondary Bitch. Estir sees D as just another body to add to the collection. The first reason she had to try and get involved with him was for his 'wealth' and "status". Luckily, after D discovers her godhood her motivations evolve into a more kind and considerate "Doing it to cuck my sister". Charming. We still don't know exactly how she feels about the marriage even with it being the "Best" ending for her route. She is the type of person to only show you affection when it will make others around her jealous. The rest of the time its just gonna be her staring at her phone not engaging at all while eating the dinner that you paid for. Bitch.
Next is Secret Bitch. Nyan Nyan is bitch. This has been established on several occasions. Nothing really needs to be dissected, her motivations are pretty clear: Stunt humanity's growth in order to preserve life as a whole, humans and gods. Not like she genuinely cares about human life, like she tries to come across as to D. She likely only cares about the Pantheon, which I get because they are her spawn, but still fucked up how motherfuckers don't put respect on the name of those that worship them and will be the inevitable cause of their demise, just saying. Don't let the fact that her size would allow her to engulf you in a hug that would cover your whole body distract you, the only time she would ever do that is to flay the skin off of your back. No, it wouldn't be hot, it would hurt a lot and you would die in agony.
Now, this in itself is easy enough to comprehend, and probably legible to some extent. Lets fix that.

Crack Theory: Darling Was Fucking INVENTED

Due to Date To Die For, we know that goat bitch Dwayne "The Rhok" Cockson told the story of humans being cool and sexy to Ln'eta and Estir as kids. We also know that Darling became instantly infatuated the moment he dreamed of Ln'eta. No logical being goes through the motions of spending a shitload of money on constant scams in an effort to kiss a god, knowing that gods aren't real. However, admittedly there are a lot of illogical people on this planet, like you who dare to think ill of me since I'm not instantly down bad for octopuss puss. We also know that Estir was directly interested in Darling for a long time (only for his status, but still). What is the likelihood that 2 gods, also sisters, who just so happened to hear the same humans are sexy speech, managed to meet the same dude? Numbers need to be crunched in order to accommodate the fact that Estir was actively searching for people unprompted, but its still somewhere between incredibly unlikely and improbable as shit.
Now, I may be smoking too much Cauldron Lake water, but there is a non-zero chance that FROM THE COSMIC SOUP THAT BIRTHED THE GODS, THE D EMERGES PREPARED TO SEX! Fuck, even his appearance in the first game is influenced by gods within sniffing distance of him. He was pink for Lneta, yellow for Estir, and blue for Nyanlathotep. Stylistic choice? I dont think so! There is no shot that D wasn't conjured into existence by two or more of these shitlings. He is the stereotypical suave guy, quick wit, devoted (I mean, he is devoted when it counts), literally works in the beauty industry. He is practically a caricature of humanity, combining our most ridiculous qualities and magnifying them tenfold. They constructed a being to match their own ambitions, focused purely on lust and the conquest of achieving another's hand. Maybe it takes away from the chad aura of D if he was manufactured, even on accident, but fuck you its my post and the truth is mine to define. Even if he wasn't created by some brain blast moment between gods, it doesn't take away from my point that the gods have been causing problems for people since time immemorial.
Also while we are here, was Darlings neighbor the actual motherfucking Lovecraft? Like, a joke was made about not mentioning the black cat's name, and we all know what Lovecraft named his cat (if you don't, google it coward). Dude shoulda stayed in the stone age where he belongs. At least he wouldn't live to see his fears of reality and life around him get twisted into what lies before you. At the same time though, fuck Lovecraft we do what we want. The author is dead and we are still breathing.
Listen: I get that the girls are cute and sometimes tender. Not every toxic relationship is pure abuse like the media tells us. Early in the day its hugs and kisses, and later its knifes and cyanide. Ln'eta is sweet, but she also threatens D's life on several occasions, encourages him to commit horrific body mutilation, etc. Also for someone apathetic to the end of the world and against the whole smooching thing she was pretty adamant about the whole "don't cast the breakup spell". If your personality falls under the -dere spectrum, you need a therapist before a boyfriend. Ln'eta is also pretty clingy due to the fact she falls for D immediately after, like, 1 dream. It is likely this is how all her other relationships went, quick momentary infatuation before discarding them for the next mfer in line, but that is something we will get into later. Ln'eta only cares about Darling for what he can do for her. Same goes for Estir. D is just such a chad that he even outdoes the people who came up with him in the levels of depravity and focus he possesses. They are perfect for each other in the sense that everyone is toxic in their own special way.
So. The First Date is ironically enough not a good example of true healthy love. Shocker. First love usually doesn't last anyway. We'll see if the gods can do better on the second go around.

Rhok'zan Would Watch Water Boil Until The Pot Is Empty

Date To Die For: New game, new protagonist, new milf to worry about appeasing. Except, whats this? She is actually a calm and reasonable person compared to the other gods we have seen? God dammit, I cannot possibly be justified in thinking that she still sucks just because she shows the bare minimum of human decency.
...Wrong.
Rhok'zan has plenty of things for me to get upset about. Now you may be Thinking: "But Rhok'zan was very sweet! She wanted to be removed from the world in order to stop The Thousand from using her to destroy it! Rhok'zan was able to respect Stardust's boundaries and love her despite them!" This is true, and yet you are stupid. You don't have to be a conscious menace to still be a menace.
Rhok'zan was hanging out in the attic letting her cult do horrendous crimes to others while she twirled her thumbs. Don't worry, she loves humanity though, and people being alive and stuff. She loves humanity so much she couldn't possibly lay a finger on them in a harmful manner, even if she would be wholly justified for doing so. Nothing she has said implies that the cultists are utilizing anomalous means to keep her from stopping them. Yes, she was rooted to the woods and even if she tried to run away they could just re-summon her. However, you cannot tell me there was nothing she could do, not even something that could restrain them? God of lust, god of kinks, not only would it have upped the sex game it also would've allowed her to neutralize the threat. If not, fine, I get that there are limitations to the magic system, some I'm not aware of. This makes sense, but lady burn the fucking book. Literally an outer god and cannot- No, refuses to do shit.
And another thing since I don't know how to fit this in: Oh, "everyone dies someday", yeah well not everyone wakes up expecting to be fucking murdered, RHOK'ZAN. The universe should not be dying of old age before they do. Maybe you should use this justification to MURDER THE CULT.
Nothing was stopping Rhok'zi from kicking dick except for her own morals. Things got this bad because she allowed it to. It doesn't matter if she feels bad about it, she is still responsible. Also, for as strong as her morals were, she was pretty okay with letting the Nannie just succumb to her bullet wounds, and also having the firstborns eat people. "But they were evil" yeah, if they were evil enough for it to be okay for them to die in her eyes, then she should have been OK being the one to kill them. They were actively torturing her and for some reason she couldn't be assed to stop them. She would rather force Stardust to endanger herself just so that Rhok'zan wouldn't have to be the one to cast the spooky killing spells. She admits it herself, that doing no harm isn't the same as doing good, and she still spends all of eternity sitting on the bed like a doofus. She had 1000's, possibly 100,000's of opportunities to get the fuck over herself and she never did. Multiply that by the eternity she is alive leading up to the moment Stardust returns. I'm not saying that people dying is okay, I'm just calling this woman a blatant hypocrite.
Btw before anyone thinks I'm on the side of Buck Bumble, no, no I'm not. Man wanted to end the world and people are part of the world. Also, physically assaulting your ex isn't cool if its for the purpose of validation after the end of your shitty relationship, rather than the liberation of humanity.
Choosing violence because your breakup was shit for reasons outside of either of your controls? Bad. Choosing violence for the liberation of humanity? Good.
Know the difference. The only thing worse than an active evil is an idle good. Though, "good" is putting it generously. Well, at least she was busy doing her godly duties, right? She was doing something greatly important, taking care of the woods that she has domain over, right?

The Woods

The fuck you mean "You lost the woods"? How the fuck do you lose control of literally the one thing you can use to exert agency other than murdering people? I cannot blame The Rhok for what the Woods do, but I can blame her for losing the Woods in the first place. What the shit, man? You had one job. Get a hold of yourself.
The woods have gotten real, and attained their own free will. Good for them, free will is sick as shit. Unfortunately, these woods are known for taking the free will from those who enter it. We have no logical reason to believe that Stardust's feelings towards Rhok'zan were real as the Woods are known to amplify emotions, including but certainly not limited to lust, moral compasses, and narcissism. For certain, we know for a fact that it was able to effect Billie to a degree where she would follow her personal rules to the letter, even against traditional logic. Despite her being affected by the woods she doesnt show signs of the Sacremencho Stare. This is because the stare requires you to be aligned with the thousand, the trees themselves don't directly cause the glowing eyes. This implies that even though Stardust lacks the stare she can still be under it's influence. It affects sexual feelings, who's to say it doesn't affect romantic feelings too?
The real smoking gun is this: The woods are the instructions at the top of the screen. That shit helping you progress? The fucking woods. Every time you burned it down was because it wanted you to burn it down. It likely didn't want to exist in service of Buck, since Buck was going to use it to end everything, including the woods in the process. These trees played a multi-universe spanning long con in an effort to fuck over everyone involved. What the shit. The Woods tries to convince Stardust to go back to Rhok'zan at the end, because getting her as far away from the hearts as possible and happy with Rhok'zi helps prolong its life. We don't even know if Rhok'zan's feelings towards Stardust are real. She lost control of The Woods, and I find it incredibly unlikely that a god of fertility would settle with an Asxeual Lesbian. Incredibly based if she genuinely did, but we have already established that The Woods are holding several sets of strings.
How Stardust even has the capacity to reject it? Easy. Nyan Nyan pointed out to her how ridiculous it would be for her to still go with Rhok'zan since at the end of the whole adventure the problem of the forest still hadn't been solved yet and the world is still being taken over. Also The Woods start laying it on a little too thick. Fumbled the bag catastrophic style. As shown with the main cast and especially Nannie, the woods cannot amplify 0. It's called the truth ending for a reason: The revelation that you have been manipulated the entire time.
The difficult thing to decipher is which ending is canon, since we can no longer bank on her not remembering what happened in previous runs. She is immortal, and doesn't need the books with the imperfect recollection they provide. Either she does learn the truth or she doesn't. I guess you can kind of see the truth ending as an inevitability, as theoretically the good ending could just keep happening over and over again throughout resets before Stardust eventually discovers the basement, but I'm saving my logical leaps on this one. No matter what ending happened, what the Truth ending implies still exists even if unseen by Stardust.
Like the people floating in space.

And So The Pin Finally Drops...

Now, frankly we don't know exactly what all those bodies floating in the abyss mean, they could mean many things, but we do know a few things:

1. They are immortal in body.
2. The only means of obtaining immortality in that way we know of is by committing the kiss of immortality.
3. The only god we know has the kiss of immortality spell is Rhok'zan

Even assuming this spell can be conducted with gods other than Rhok'zi, this isn't a good look and has horrifying implications.
Many gods are known to have dated humans before. Now, logically speaking, with what we know from Date to Die For and humans getting a little gung-ho about dating their milf heartthrob, its safe to assume that MUU IS A FUCKING CUNT, EISENHOWER DAMN YOU. How many lovers of gods are just out there floating in the abyss? A possibly endless amount of people have gone through a similar process to attain immortality. The process of falling in love with a being of great power. We were so concerned with breaking their hearts, and they never stopped to worry about breaking ours. This isn't fair, chat. Dozens of people awaiting their gods to return, likely in vain. Discarded when the gods got bored and the love faded. Muu is a shepherd of the end times and she can't even commit to a ship! Essentially what I'm trying to say is:

Its All Muu's Fault

Muu is a creature from the bottom of the Goon Lagoon (also known as the Pacific Ocean), named as such because she was fogging up the waters from yoinking her sploink to Human x Eldritch-Being Smutography. Um, Based department? Nonetheless, she is in desperate need of a intervention. Muu has given gods like Ln'eta several boy/goyfriends like almonds into a furnace. Over and over again they have dated people, and over and over again they are cast aside for one reason or another. "Oh, maybe this time it'll stick-" If it looks like shit, smells like shit, walks and talks like shit, its shit. You do realize that there are 2 people in a relationship right? Like, out of both parties there is one of note that suffers the most adverse effects from your awful spells, and its not the cosmic being that holds reality together.
Muu's safe-word spells are dogshit too, since it doesn't stop the collapse of reality, it only lets you end it on your own terms. Honestly, pretty based since I for one am a fan of ending things on my own terms especially in spite of one who usually ends things on theirs, but reality is still ending. Plus, the god in question if they have yandere in their blood can just rip the page out no problem and then you cant even get out if you tried. In the wise words of Huey Emmerich, "WHAT A LOAD OF HORSESHIT!"
Possibly the worst consequence of Muu's actions was Buck. Muu was behind introducing Rhok'zan to him after all. She is known for mailing books to people she thinks would be a good fit for the god, but I cannot blame her for a failed relationship between 2 people barely involved with her. But, what I can blame her for is the metric fuckload of people just hovering in the abyss. How did they get there, Muu? How many kisses of immortality have you been giving out? Not all of these people could've just done it by accident like Buck, Muu. Muu is incredibly irresponsible with the position she has been given, phenomenal cosmic power shouldn't be given out willy nilly just so you can whack your willy. Granted, all of this could've been done by commission, we know that this has been the case at least once, but "I was following orders" is established to be a shit excuse on select few occasions like producing books capable of ending the whole fucking world, especially when you actively take enjoyment from it. Keep the smut to the pen and paper, please don't bring your fetishes to the real world, you shitling.
Muu has a legitimate problem, honestly. She is interested in the concept of love, but not the nuances that come with actually dating an eldritch entity, and especially not the nuances of dating a human. Life for eldritch beings is pretty much endless, so they likely feel comfortable just ending a long relationship on a dime. Humans are a lot more sensitive than that. The ideal relationship for a human is one where you can enjoy the other's company for the rest of your lives. Is that dream congruent with the concept of infinity? No, given time everything fades, you cannot expect the gods to try and keep up a relationship literally forever just like you can't expect a human to.
But I can blame them for lying about it. They demand pure and absolute devotion from their followers, and it is natural for their followers to expect the same from them. All those threats about never leaving them for another, and yet they are so eager to move on themselves.
At the very least I want to see some damn responsibility taken for their actions, as humanity is often the ones that have to deal with the consequences of them.

The Problem

When dating happens, its always in favor of the gods. After all, Muu's books are made for the gods' benefit. They aren't made for for the god to hook up with you, they are made for you to hook up with the god. There is no mutual respect held by the parties involved, you are always working to appease the other. If you fail to appease, then you are tossed aside. They demand devotion, not love. Aunt Nyan Nyan is willing to give "Love" a shot after all, but it is only when Darling no longer represents a variable that she cannot control.
The body mutilation is an especially horrifying part of the cycle. Imagine it like getting a tattoo of someone you loved. If that relationship were to fail, you are stuck with that tattoo and reminder for the rest of your life. Getting a normal tattoo like that is already seen as a rash decision, this type of tattoo cannot be hidden by clothing, it is blatant tainting of the human form. The mutilation is in service of making you more of the god's type, and the god never puts effort to make themselves the human's type to any degree. Any inch that they may give in the relationship is purely to help their own ego, so they don't feel like an asshole for all the torture they force their loved one into, however you'd be lucky if they even thought that much of it.
If your girl is:

1. Someone that feels they own you
2. A narcissist that demands pure, undivided attention at all times
3. So passive that she losses control of literally the one thing she is responsible for
4. Gilf

That's not your girl, that's a venus flytrap.
I don't say this in the sense that love between 2 beings in separate casts is impossible, just that in this world things are a lot more complicated. An entirely separate dimension of the relationship opens up when you can easily be replaced by the sands of time, plus all the other shit I mentioned. A lot of the gods just aren't ready for a commitment as strong as dating. They have to sort out their personal issues before they decide to make themselves an issue to the human race as a whole.
As humans, we are designed to get what is formally called "Big Mad Upset" when faced with injustice, and there is no greater injustice than a grand uncaring universe. The universe that these beings made. Every time the dream ends, billions upon billions of lives end due to The HorrorsTM. We know due to the existence of rotblooms, and we can infer logically from the universe "restarting" rather than resetting, that these people actually die. For realsies. Maybe a new you is formed in this identical universe, but its not the same you that died in the old one.
Now, imagining billions of people dying is a pretty tall ask, as you can barely imagine a million people. So, for the sake of this exercise, imagine your family. If you hate your family, imagine your friends. If you hate your friends, then imagine Wubzy from the hit show Wow Wow Wubzy. Wubzy is minding his own business, and then a demon pops up and devours his face. Wubzy is now dead. The universe ends eventually, and a new one begins. Reality follows a roughly similar trajectory, and Wubzy is born once more. Wubzy goes to school, gets a job, starts a family. Then Wubzy's face is eaten by that same demon, because Darling wanted to kiss an elder god. Again and again this process is continued, Wubzy's corpses clogging the arteries of the absence that comes after.
For eons this meat grinder of a universe has been eating people alive and they have had no choice in the matter, it's ending is only accelerated due to Muu's bullshit spells. How about you make a book that summons god without destabilizing reality to an irreparable degree, that's what humans would be most concerned with. But she doesn't care about humans, what she cares about love. Love needs no justification, its a feeling that must be pursued in spite of the consequences, no matter how many corpses must be laid in its wake. The love that she cares about, that between a lesser and a greater. Pray she doesn't start writing (more) NTR.
That is horror right there. Not necessarily an uncaring universe, it understands you plight, its just not afraid to step on your toes for its own goals. Ain't no single being on this cosmic totem pole has genuine concerns for humanity other than mere. petty. infatuation. There is no love, only lust. Ln'eta and Estir lust over Darling. Rhok'zan lusts over Stardust. Muu lusts over kinky smut. There is no depth, no respect, nothing. Only devotion. Just Monika.

The Themes, Man

My favorite thing in media is when I get to stare into the abyss and have it stare back, when a something is able to match my curiosity. On the surface, I saw big thiccums awooga women. That's all it could've been, but when I looked deeper I found themes of Love and Devotion, how infinity influences our current concepts of them. Falling in love with eldritch entities is an incredible twist on the concept, since love and worship are similar concepts when you think about it. Just under the epidermis, you get a story of humans seeking comfort in beings as imperfect as themselves, just given the privilege of eternal life and infinite power. These beings seek devotion from those same people, but for one reason or another are either unwilling or incapable of fulfilling their end of the bargain in a relationship like this. Nobody is owed eternal love, but the problem is that it is exactly what these gods promise. They promise that they will be together forever and make the cost of being with them match that reward (body mutilation, ending the world, threats of death), but it is ultimately something they cannot provide.
It makes me so happy to just look for something in a game and to find it there, just waiting to be explored. 'Fuckin love this game, instant A-tier. I am fully aware that I like this game for wildly different reasons than the common man, but we still share the quality of enjoying it.
I would love to see Man and God unified in holy matrimony, mainly since I'm into tall women who could kill me with a thought but also because I like happy endings. The warmth that would fill my soul to see a truly loving and healthy relationship in this setting would greatly influence climate change and the melting of the Arctic. But Date To Die For puts into question how achievable this goal really is. After all, there are only around 50 gods total. Its a lot, but its not enough to be confident in the existence of the fabled "not bitch" classification of god.

In Conclusion

Sucker for love takes place in a universe where human life and feelings are not of concern. For a time a god may love you likewise, but they demand much more than they are willing to give back. When they get bored, or the human loses their usefulness, they are quick to discard the ones that they "love" and leave them to the infinite abyss that is the space between reality. Relationships are a two way street, and we have yet to see the gods attempt to cross in a significant and meaningful way.
If you liked my ramblings be sure to like, comment, and go fuck yourself. If there was something I missed and makes me look like an idiot, you would be seriously owning me by mentioning it in the comments, and it gives me the opportunity to use it to further inform my opinions. That or I can ignore it in service of my biases.
Fuck the gods. No matter the level of unhingedness I have achieved within the period I have spent writing this, my point remains. Date human women. End communication ---

Is it possible to do twists (Mini, Spring, kinky, etc) without hair extensions? I usually get two strand twist done but they don’t last that long so I’m looking into other twisting styles. I’m extremely tender headed so twist have been a complete game changer and are the only reason I’m actually letting my hair grow instead of shaving it like I would normally do. I’m trying someone who can do twists but they all talk about adding hair extensions which I don’t want. My hair is black, very thick, tightly curled but when straightened is probably the length of my forehead to my chin.

I want to hug you so bad. I want to smell you again, I love your smell so much. I want you to lie on my shoulder as before, and I stroke your hair, twisting your cutie little curls onto my finger. I want to scratch your back before sleeping again, and dance with you the “retarded baby dance” that you taught me. I want to watch movies with you and eat popcorn with ice cream and salted caramel. I want to kiss your face. I want to go to club with you again. I want to dance side by side with you. I’m never forget that private-kinky-party, that we join accidentally.
I want to cook the one of a kind borscht for you again! And I want to taste your culinary masterpieces more and more...
I want to be your “backpack” diring motorcycle ride again someday. I held on to you so tightly, and I trusted you with my life 100% since our first meeting, when you pick me up at bus-station. I wasn't scared with you since there.
You are amazing racer, I’m never forget our first ride together.
I want to go on promenade with fluffy dinosaurs with you again.
I can’t imagine anyone else next to me, I can’t even think about it, I decided that it’s better to be alone, with the hope of meeting you again someday, when you see that I’m work on myself and healing from my inner pain…
I try to found you in every person. This is madness.
I can't eat. I can’t sleep. I can't delete a single photo of you on my phone. And I also can’t trash all our photos that I printed. I can’t get rid of this, this is my value, but when I watch them, it hurts me terribly, because I see two beautiful and happy people who love each other so much, but no together anymore.
I fell in love with your family, they are kind and beautiful people. And with your permission, I allowed myself to feel that I am also part of your family. This feeling is inspiring, because I have never had such a large family before. I always thought that I was not worthy of such a family…
I just lie here and cry, describing everything that is happening to me now. Because you are not around, and it seems that I have been frozen “until better times.”
This is torture, this is not normal. I miss you madly, every second my separation becomes unbearable.
I left because you told me to leave, you didn't give me the opportunity to fix mistakes that I was able to correct for your sake, for my sake, and for our sake. I asked you to try to be in my shoes, because I am in a serious lost state, and I need help, because I can’t handle it alone.
And I regret that even on the last day we did not understand each other, and a strange situation happened in which we did not even say goodbye. I’m truly shocked about it not less than you.
I’m terribly upset.
I can't think of anything else.
I'm a walking zombie who was once a happy person.

WARNING: MAJOR spoilers for ACOTAR through ACOSF, plus the TOG and CC series (Maasverse)

Hello, friends! If this is the first post you've landed on, I would suggest starting at the top of this list and working your way down. We're on a deep-dive, looking at all the potential bread crumbles of the ship that is Azriel x Eris. As beautiful as I think this pairing would be, I bow down to our SJM queen and whatever plans she has in store for these two lovely males (but here's to hoping).
Proving Azriel x Eris is plausible in the SJM world
Azriel x Eris: The Visual Guide
ACOTAR
ACOMAF, Part 1
ACOMAF, Part 2
ACOMAF, Part 3
ACOWAR, Part 1 - You are here
ACOWAR, Part 2
ACOWAR, Part 3
ACOFAS
ACOSF, Part 1
ACOSF, Part 2
ACOSF, Part 3
CC & CONCLUSION
My sister's reaction to Azriel x [____] 🦇🔥
Please note:

• Any posts not linked up are still in the works! Publishing date TBD.
• Reddit formatting is kind of a nuisance, and I've had to divide the larger books into smaller parts.
• Pages listed may or may not match your own edition.

Let's dive into ACOWAR! It is a DOOZY.
Part 1
All the things. There are so many things in this book. I'm so sorry for how long this is.
-------------------------

Feyre plays saboteur in the Spring Court

Feyre was willingly kidnapped into the Spring Court to lay ruin to anything and everything Tamlin.
Feyre muses on the recent mating of her sister:

I wondered what Lucien truly made of it. And the fact that the collateral in her [Ianthe's] friendship with Hybern had wound up being his mate. Elain.
pg 14

If we twist this in a similar way, we can spin this same focus on Eris and the collateral he experienced from leaving Mor at the border. Because THIS is the book where Eris admits that the action cost him—there was a price he paid for leaving Mor.
Lucien's price, in continuing to support Tamlin and ally with Hybern, was losing access to his yet unknown mate—potentially forever. As devastating as this was, Lucien couldn't have foreseen or even predicted his mating. Especially after what happened to Jesminda, he would have never sacrificed Elain, sacrificed his mate, if he'd known. He would have never allied with Hybern or continued to support Tamlin. He would have foregone it all to save her. But . . . he didn't know. And it happened. And now he's damned with the consequences.
Likewise Eris, in leaving Mor, was unaware that it would cost him a similar access to his yet unknown mate. Eris, leaving Mor at the border, was ultimately a gift to allow her her freedom; Eris says this exactly, in this same book. He makes the best decision he can with the sucky options presented to him, just like Lucien does. And just like Lucien, it costs Eris the ultimate price—the future of a Fae he was yet to be mated with.
Both horrible, reprehensible decisions, ultimately made with honorable intentions . . . but none of that matters. Elain still turned Fae and lost the human man and human life she loved. Mor was left alone to die, abused and tortured without pity or mercy. Both Lucien's and Eris's hands are stained.
In the Spring Court, Feyre tests out the flames gifted from Beron's power:

The fire did not burn me, even as it devoured wood and brush and paint.
pg 14

I'm telling you guys. We're getting kinky here, but if Az x Eris is gonna be a thing, I swear those flames will be put to use in the bedroom.
Lucien, suspicious of Feyre's true intents, barely holds in his desperation of finding/getting to Elain:

Lucien breathed, “Where is he keeping her. . . I need to find her.”
pg 16

You know what else seemed like an 'overriding good sense' moment? Eris making a bargain with the Night Court (we're a few chapters ahead of that, but we'll get to it). Eris makes a bargain with one of his foremost enemy's courts. Why? Does he really need their support? Or is it a ploy? A ploy to get inside the court, to find favor with them . . . to get closer to one of them?
Lucien is doing the same; he's walking the line of his own ploy. Lucien knows Feyre is planning something . . . but he won't jeopardize any of her plans if it means she'll keep him from Elain.
Lucien hates Ianthe, and for good reason:

Tamlin shot him a warning look—both at the words and the tone. Perhaps Lucien would kill Ianthe before I had the chance, just for the horror she’d put his mate through that day.
pg 17

You know who else has suffered? Who else has experienced physical pain at the hands of another?
Eris.
Azriel, obviously, has suffered; is intimately acquainted with it. And as such, Azriel doles out suffering where suffering is due. It's his job. There are several references to how 'sullied' his hands are.
Az is naturally drawn to those who have been hurt; who have suffered due to the actions of others. He's particularly attuned to Elain; he goes out of his way to help rescue Briar in Hybern's camp; he is the one who saved Gwyn after the horrific attack that killed her twin sister.
I can't help but think of how AWOL Azriel is going to go on Beron when he finds out about Eris's torture at his father's hands. The way Azriel's hands are a map of scars, I have a feeling some part of Eris's body will show the same.
While in the Spring Court, Feyre tries to keep her bond with Rhys hidden:

I didn’t know if someone could monitor such things—the silent messages between mates. Not when the mating bond could be scented, and I was playing such a dangerous game with it.
pg 20

This is confirmation yet again that the mating bond can be SCENTED, which plays a crucial role in this Az x Eris argument.
Remember how our Rhysie-boy kept as still as possible in ACOMAF during their visit to Hybern because he didn't want his bond with Feyre to be scented?
In my ACOSF post, I'll be arguing that Eris informs Rhys that he and Az are mates. There is a specific interaction I pinpoint where I believe he either lets it slip or shows it on purpose.
And what happens soon after this interaction?
Rhys separates Eris and Az.
Rhys puts Cassian in charge of all Eris and Autumn Court related activities. He sends Az off on separate duties that often takes him to the continent. And whenever Eris asks after Azriel (which he does, on numerous occasions), Rhys silently refuses to answer him.
Feyre continues:

They believed that with time, with distance, his scent would fade. Weeks or months, likely.
pg 20

Some would argue that the bond has to have snapped into place for both parties before the mating bond can be scented, but this isn't true. In the bonus chapter of ACOSF, Azriel states he can't stand to be in the same room with Elain because of the mating bond smell between her and Lucien. This also happens with Rowan and Aelin in TOG; Aedion, very early on, recognizes their scent before either of them have accepted it, and we all just brushed it off as being a product of their carranam bond. Also, Feyre and Rhys; Amren smells the mating bond on Feyre when she first meets her.
Feyre talks about the conundrum that was Tamlin x Feyre x Rhys:

When my mate had rescued me after I’d decided not to go through with the wedding, some fundamental part of me knowing it wasn’t right. I had believed I didn’t deserve it, hadn’t wanted to burden Tamlin for an eternity with someone as broken as I’d been at the time. And Rhys . . . Rhys would have let me marry him, believing me to be happy, wanting me to be happy even if it killed him.
pg 33

So far, mate realizations with present-day characters in SJM books have all ended in love matches. Yes, we do get a few background characters that weren't, but none are our current main players (Elain x Lucien are still up in the air). But one thing I am subjectively certain of?
If Az has a mate, it will end (not begin—end) in a love match.
I do think Eris would leave Azriel alone, in a similar way Rhys gave Feyre her space. Eris is broken; he's donned a mask and still wears it, proudly. But I don't think he would subject his mate to a fate that mate didn't want. He's already shown having a similar trait when he refuses to marry Mor in order for her to retain her freedom.
As of where the books currently stand, Azriel hates Eris. And I would assume Eris isn't eager to push the mating bond on him for that reason. I think Eris wants a love match; and as SJM's stated favorite Autumn Court character, I think she's going to give him one. She's going to give them both one.
The horrible Hybern twins give us a peek into Autumn Court sexual play:

She shrugged, her smile growing. “Autumn Court males have fire in their blood—and they fuck like it, too.”
pg 45

Azriel could handle that fire.
Just sayin'.
Jurian very quickly makes it known that he's not fooled by Feyre and Rhys's ploy:

"You forget I knew him in the War. You forget he risked his legion to save Miryam from our enemy’s fort . . . the male I knew was the most decent of them all . . . You don’t lose that quality, no matter the centuries, and Rhys was too smart to do anything but have the vilification of his character be a calculated move.
pg 49

"Rhys was too smart to do anything but have the vilification of his character be a calculated move."
THIS IS A CLASSIC SJM TROPE.
Rhysand, obviously, embodies this. Guess what? So does Jurian. Tamlin does, too, when he plays double-spy against Hybern. You want other examples? Cormac in CC. Lidia. And don't forget Aedion in TOG. Just to name a few.
All I'm saying—Eris will be added to this list. The bad guy wearing the mask but still playing to be good, biding his time until it's safe/prudent to reveal it.
He gave Mor her freedom; he gave it to her the only way he could. And he saved Lucien, his brother, the only way he could. He's already been the good guy playing the bad guy for a very long time.
-------------------------

Feyre and Lucien escape

Feyre and Lucien flee through the Autumn Court:

But there were no Autumn Court sentries guarding the entrance to Beron’s realm—none that we could see or scent.
pg 71

Beron is known for being ruthless and diligent. Why would there be no Fae sentries guarding this entrance?
Even Lucien says they'll be spotted:

“My father’s sentries will easily spot us.”
pg 73

But they travel for FIVE ENTIRE DAYS without being spotted:

We hiked north for five days, hardly exchanging a word.
pg 74

Could it be that Eris did know they were in Autumn Court lands? I meant, this is the same Eris who later catches Azriel when he crosses their border, a spymaster who can become near invisible. Surely two High Fae with fragile magic, stumbling through the Autumn woods, would have been easy targets? Surely Tamlin would have put out feelers to their court immediately? Surely they would have been found?
The answer is they were found . . . eventually. And guess who found them?
The one, the only, Eris.
I'm not against the theory that he knew they were there all along. That he saved them, that he let them get away, the same way he saved his youngest brother all those years ago.
Lucien asks why Feyre allowed him to join her in her escape:

"Did you plan to spare me from your path of destruction because of any genuine friendship, or simply for fear of what it might do to her?”
pg 72

Now. This is key: As stated earlier, in ACOSF I will be arguing that Rhys learns Eris and Az are mates. We're repeatedly told throughout ACOSF that Rhys has come to trust Eris—but we're never told why.
Honestly, you'd think Rhys would raze Eris to the ground. He left his cousin to die. He physically harms his mate. And Eris has already fulfilled his half of the bargain by pledging troops to Hybern and helping win the war.
But even after all this, in ACOSF, Rhys becomes strangely protective of Eris. After hating him for 500 years, after declaring him a "male of limited days" in this very book, why the change of heart?
Theory: Because Eris and Az are connected. And in order to protect Az, to protect his family, Rhys has to protect Eris, too.
Assuming they are mated and assuming Rhys knows this, Rhys would do whatever he could to ensure Eris was safe, if only to prevent the psychological and physical repercussions it would bring to Az.
It's obvious that Lucien is tagging along solely because he wants to see Elain:

“I knew if I was correct and called you on it, you’d find a way to make sure I never saw her.”
pg 72

I think Eris establishes and maintains a connection with the Night Court is because he's trying to ensure that he can still see Az, much in the same way Rhys maintains his original bargain with Feyre visiting the Night Court once a month.
After days spent hiding and traveling through Autumn Court lands, Feyre and Lucien are finally caught:

“After you,” Eris said smoothly, lowering that knife at last. He shoved me a step.
pg 78

Feyre and Lucien manage to trap Eris and his brothers in the cave. But . . . did they really? Did she really escape them that easy? Or . . . does Eris let them escape?
After all, Feyre and Lucien have been drugged with Faebane. Eris and his brothers can winnow. Who cares if we're trapped in a cave? Brother could have winnowed out and snagged them right then and there. Plot hole, SJM? Maybe. Or maybe it was intentional. Maybe Eris held back.
Feyre and Lucien flee to the Winter Court:

We had to be close to the Winter Court border . . . and once we were over it, Eris and the others wouldn’t dare set foot into another court’s territory.
pg 80

BUT THEY DO, FEYRE. Eris and his brothers do set foot into another court's territory. Do I think this was a calculated move? Yes, yes I do. Do I think Eris held his brothers back on purpose, that he waited until Feyre and Lucien had reached the Winter Court borders? Do I think he did this so Feyre and Lucien had a greater chance of escaping?
I mean, come on—it's so tempting to consider.
While in the Winter Court, before Eris 'finds' them again, Feyre informs Lucien of Elain's engagement:

I felt every inch of him go stiff beside me. “To whom.” Flat, cold words. With the threat of violence simmering beneath.
pg 81

This is a male who is already bristling at possessiveness over his mate.
Do you recall the ACOSF bonus scene where Rhys cuckolds Azriel as Az tries to make a move on Elain? Rhy is LIVID with Az.
But why?
The obvious answer is the one Rhys gives: Lucien is in the townhouse. Lucien could challenge Az. It would destroy the tenuous alliances they have with the Spring Court, possibly the Autumn Court, and whatever they've got going on with Jurian and Vassa.
But me riddle me this: If Eris and Az are mated and Rhys is aware of this, would he also be concerned for Elain's safety?
As Feyre's beloved sister, Rhys would do everything in his power to protect Elain. He wouldn't be able to bear the thought of Elain being hurt because that would indirectly cause great amounts of suffering for Feyre.
Would Eris go off the rails knowing his mate was in love with someone else, and that someone else loved Az back? Would Eris challenge Elain for Az?
And have you ever looked at Eris's hatred of Mor in this way:
Eris treats Mor the same way Rhys treats Tamlin. With baited insults and veiled threats. Is it because Eris knows Az is his mate, but he has to deal with Az still being in love with Mor?
Food for thought, my friends. Food for thought.
Lucien tells Feyre:

“I want to see her [Elain]. Just once. Just—to know.”
pg 81

I think Eris feels the same. I think it's a big reason why he allies with the Night Court. Because he wants to see . . . he wants to know.
Even after the war, throughout all of ACOSF, Eris has yet to call in his part of the bargain. Why? What's he waiting for?
I think, like Rhys, the answer will always circle back to his mate.
-------------------------

Caught by the Autumn Brothers

Eris and his brothers catch up to Feyre and Lucien in the Winter Court:

We looked at the same time. And both beheld the three figures now standing at the lake edge. Smiling.
pg 83

Also, please note: Feyre and Lucien were days into Winter Court territory.
It took Eris five DAYS to find Feyre and Lucien while they were in Autumn, and then takes him days longer still to locate them in Winter. DAYS, when Feyre and Lucien can't even winnow and are leaving their tracks and their scents all over the place.
And yet Eris finds Az, the near-invisible spymaster, in a matter of hours when he flies into Autumn Court territory shortly thereafter.
Sure. That tracks.
(Narrator: it did not track).
Feyre points out that Eris might be toying with them:

Eris had to either be expending all his power to get through millennia of ice, or was just doing it slowly to torture us—
pg 84

Hear me out—I think he was. I think Eris waded into Winter Court territory, something Feyre insisted he would not do, then melted the ice slowly because he knew. He knew he was giving them time to be rescued. And he had to save face in front of his brothers, much in the same way he had to save face when rescuing Lucien as his brothers were trying to kill him after Jesminda.
Another brother was firing arrows as Eris melted the ice:

I crossed paths with Lucien again, meeting his wide eyes as we did, and opened my mouth to tell him my plan, when Eris appeared . . .
pg 83-84

Pure speculation here, but if Eris was trying to save his brother (again) + Feyre, who's to say he wasn't melting the ice and guiding the two where to run as the one brother fired the arrows? Making him purposefully miss.
Feyre is struck with an arrow:

It went clean through my right forearm this time . . . steps thudded on ice as the third brother closed in . . . Eris had taken one step toward me, smiling like a wolf . . .
pg 84

The third brother closes in, but Eris gets to her first.
Eris gets nasty:

A backhanded blow to the face, so hard my teeth went through my lip. He struck again before I could even fall, a punch to my gut that ripped the air from my lungs.
. . . I’d no sooner hit the ice than Eris grabbed me by the hair, right at the roots, the grip so brutal tears stung my eyes. But he dragged me back toward that shore, back across the ice—
pg 84

Listen. We're going to play devil's advocate here. Because . . . I think Eris may have been stalling. The longer he held off, the more chance there was of Feyre and Lucien being rescued. He knew Rhys was coming for her. EVERYONE knew Rhys would make a bid for her, even if it wasn't widespread knowledge yet that they were mates.
Eris's brother closes in, Eris gets there first. Sentries appear on the shore. Won't come on the ice, presumably because Eris had partially melted it, or because they expected Eris to winnow. Eris then proceeds to drags Feyre . . . again, choosing not to winnow to the sentries, even though he has already winnowed during this ice fight on more than one occasion.
Eris binds her:

I opened my mouth, but a gag of fire shoved its way between my lips. It didn’t burn, but was hot enough to tell me it would if Eris willed it. Equal bands of flame wrapped around my wrists, my ankles. My throat.
pg 85

Two things:

1. His fire isn't burning her. He's slapped her and punched her, but he ain't over here burning her.
2. A gag of fire? Those are fire bondage ties, my friends. SJM's 'Azriel is a freak in bed' comment could really work well with this.

-------------------------

An Illyrian rescue on the ice

Cassian and Azriel catch up to Feyre:

Another impact struck the ice behind us. Shadows skittered in its wake. Azriel.
pg 86

THIS IS IT, my friends. This is where I think the bond might have snapped into place for Eris.
We get the tiniest snippet: Eris's grip tightened. Now, not significant in the grand scheme of things, but . . . Feyre can't see Eris's face right now. Would we see something different if she'd been facing him?
Eris is still holding onto Feyre:

Eris had bound my limbs, but—I could still move them. Still use parts of my magic.
. . . Towering over me, Eris didn’t so much as glance down as I twisted, spinning on the ice, and slammed my bound legs up between his.
pg 86

Eris's binding sucks. But, does it really? Or did he make crappy bindings on purpose? I think it was on purpose. And LOOK. LOOK AT WHAT IT SAYS.
"Eris didn't so much as glance down."
My friends. Picture it. Eris. Shocked. Standing still. Staring.
But starting at what?
At the Illyrians. At a . . . specific Illyrian, perhaps?
If you look at it from a different POV, it's really not all that dissimilar from when the bond snapped into place for Rhys. Or when it snapped into place for Cassian. This could be the moment.
Eris and Cassian fight:

Eris hardly had time to draw his sword as Cassian brought his own down upon him.
pg 86

Note: He's fighting Cassian, not Azriel.
We get tiny glimpses of Eris staring at them after the battle:

The Illyrians fell into place beside me. Eris, a hand pressed to his gut, was breathing wetly, glaring at us.
Glaring—then considering. Watching the three of us . . .
pg 87

Glaring. Considering. Watching.
Feyre declares herself High Lady:

Even Eris stopped sneering. His amber eyes widened, something like fear now creeping into them.
pg 87

This is the point where Eris realizes Feyre must be Rhysand's mate. Cassian and Az aren't rescuing Feyre just because she is the High Lord of the Night Court's plaything (which, as a reminder, is what everyone in Pythian not privy to the real situation thinks she is), they are rescuing her because she is their HIGH LADY. Equal in every way to their High Lord.
Eris is probably sh*tting himself because he realizes he's just attacked a High Lady. THE High Lady, mated to the most powerful High Lord in all of Prythian's history. But also . . . is this a replay of what happened with Mor? If Eris realizes that Az is his mate, is he now desperately afraid that he has two counts against him? Two counts of hurting the females Az has sworn to protect? Is this just pushing him farther away from his mate?
-------------------------

Feyre back in the Night Court

Mor notices that Cassian is covered in Eris's blood:

Mor’s throat bobbed, noting the blood staining Cassian’s hands— realizing it wasn’t his own. Scenting it, no doubt, as she blurted, “Eris. Did you—”
pg 88

Note that it's Azriel who speaks about Eris. He didn't fight him, Cassian did. But Az pipes up. More than likely because he hates Eris more than any other Fae being in the entirety of Prythian, but, you know.
Rhys is . . . displeased with Eris:

“Cassian let me into his mind just now—to show me what happened on the ice" . . . Eris was always a male of limited days. Now Lucien might find himself closer to inheriting his father’s throne than he ever expected to be.”
pg 93

Rhys goes from this to full on trusting/saving Eris's ass in ACOSF. Eris hurt his mate. Physically hurt her. Mates have killed for far less. So . . . there's a reason for Rhys's changing perspective.
SJM hints at the cold, terrifying beauty of Azriel:

Indeed, the Illyrians smirked from where they lingered in the dining room threshold. Azriel was by far the more terrifying of the pair.
pg 102

I don't want to beat a dead horse, but please note that there is a boatload of repetition concerning Azriel. His classical beauty. His cold nature, his frozen rage. How absolutely, lethally terrifying he is—more so than even Cassian.
Lucien admits the possibility of Rhysand's mask:

“I’ve seen Rhysand do such . . . horrible things, seen him play the dark prince over and over. And yet you tell me it was all a lie. A mask."
pg 105

Folks. All you Eris haters. I just want you to know that your opinions are valid. He has done some awful, awful things. But . . . so has Rhys. We, as readers, have had the fortunate opportunity to witness the High Lord of Night's unveiling. But we haven't had the Autumn Court Heir's yet.
-------------------------

Lucien + Elain

Nesta goes feral at the mention of Elain being mated to Lucien:

“He is no such thing to her,” she snarled . . .

If I'm arguing in ACOSF that Eris reveals his mating bond to Rhys, I'm also admitting that it threw Rhys for a loop and that Rhys feels a lot like Feyre in this moment.
Riddle me this:
What is the thing that is bothering Rhys so much in ACOSF?
Cassian notes it. Feyre notes it. Cassian tells Feyre about it. Feyre asks Rhys. Rhys doesn't tell her. Feyre acquiesces, knowing Rhys will explain in his own due time.
Spoiler: it's not about the baby, like a first read-through has you assuming.
Nesta is reprimanded by Cassian:

“You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you’re going to learn about the consequences the hard way.”
pg 107

Oooooo. What's the dynamic of two mated MALES going to be like? I'm curious to see that play out.
Lucien gets reprimanded by Feyre:

“No. But understand while you may be her mate, Elain is my sister. I’ll do what I must to protect her from further harm.”
pg 111

Feyre's response is similar to how I imagine Rhys's would be to Eris: "You may be his mate, but Azriel is my brother. I will protect him, even from you."
Feyre clarifies:

But he asked, “What of—Elain?”
. . . “I need to think about it,” I answered plainly. “Until I figure out what to do with her, with Nesta, stay out of their way.”
pg 110

Again, I see Rhys answering Eris in a similar matter: "Until I figure out what to do with you, stay out of our way."
In ACOSF, Rhys separates Eris and Az, much in the same way Feyre tries to separate Lucien and Elain. Rhys makes sure Az isn't involved with anything Autumn Court, appointing Cassian to deal with Eris and Beron instead.
Lucien responds:

“I would never hurt her.”
pg 111

I can honestly imagine Eris would say the same. That he would never hurt Az. Because, as Aelin and Rowan say, once you're mated, once the bond snaps into place, you can't fathom ever causing harm to your significant other.
But Rhys and Feyre both know how unintentional that harm can be. Lucien has already harmed Elain—he and Tamlin allied with Hybern and Elain was Made, ripped from her human existence. And Eris has already harmed Azriel by putting Mor in harm's way.
-------------------------
Click HERE for Az x Eris A Court of Wings and Ruin, Part II

I've seen so many people simp over this woman and I'm like why. This woman is a walking red flag wearing a walking red flag of an outfit, and she's a murderer. Her erratic, violent, bloodthirsty and twisted attitude, she abducts Tav's companions, murdered or tried to murder her own sibling. She wants Tav to murder Gortash just so they can knife-fight each other in a creepy temple. She calls Durge "bloodkin".
Yes she's pretty and she can step on me any day but how can anyone think this is a healthy relationship.
Edit: A lot of people talk about how a little fantasy is OK (they're not talking about it here, but someone, somewhere, must be talking about it). I agree there's nothing wrong with having a kinky fantasy, because that's how I decided to reduce the discourse around liking this character. What I'm on about is that people need to be explained to them that murderous psycho women are dangerous, and they shouldn't normalise it. I've paid attention to many comments that back up my revolutionary statement, there are people out there who like Orin, and they need to be protected.
Since a lot of people here lack basic reading comprehension, I'll proceed to be even more condescending, just so you stupid illiterate morons people understand my groundbreaking point. I'm not saying you can't enjoy getting stabbed by Orin, I'm just referring to the people who are an obvious majority who say Orin is a good, innocent little girl who had done anything wrong. Because that's what the people who like Orin think. It's weird that some people see an obviously abusive murderous psycho and go "oh wow, so romantic, so pretty, smooch smooch".