Stomach ache and cold symptoms

Good afternoon everyone. Yesterday I had an endoscopy done at the request of my gastro doctor to see how my gluten-free diet is going. However, ever since the endoscopy I have been showing some gastrontestinal symptoms similar to what happens when I eat gluten, like diarrhea and smelly gas.
It's as if there's a continuous output of gluten in my stomach. Normally when I get glutened, I can pass it all in one sitting. But I've been having recurring diarrhea since yesterday and bloating.
Has anyone had this?

My visit with psychiatrist yesterday has helped me reach comfort in my mind with a constant anxiety of something I’m sure many are worried about and it is not right (if you can relate to this): the anxiety of your doc cutting, not changing dose and pharmacy rejecting and giving problems with controlled meds.
Both pharmacy and psychiatrist reassured me: allowed me to use 75 + 90 tabs about 1 week after 75 Valium 5mg to dose an extra tab if needed: explained I was on Valium 10mg x3 daily. So I let him know if I can try going daily with Valium 10mg twice daily I think it would be a good start with years of therapy, tapered down, and 4 years in Army as medic now out for about 1 year with fully honorable for medical retirement - I’m happy my discharge is the same as finishing my 4 year contract and did 4 years retired a few days shy of ETS (last day) date.
He gave me Valium 5mg x4 a day and said I can take it as I see fit in my day but not recommended to take all 4 at once like I’m at the dentist or something lol. Can take 3 in morning if I want, 1 at night; 2 and 2, etc.
Started me on Prazosin 1mg and stopped clonidine ER 0.1mg twice daily and took first dose at bed having the morning clonidine in me… ouch lol side effects of weakness had me miss worth and head to urgent care, but got better with time. I felt like I had an ear ache but got better on Zyrtec. So far side effects there, but the daytime effects I can see my trigger response isn’t as overdriven, so med good for daytime symptoms with PTSD too not only good for nightmares which I’ve been lacking a lot regardless. Did not wake up same time of 2:50 - 3:00am as I do like 5/7 nights in a week - great sign for me on its benefit of sleeping being me! I’m on Zoloft 50mg and plan to taper down off of because last VA psych. was only focusing on tapering me off of Valium.
Doctors who taper long term daily benzo’s with compliance AND especially patients who already tapered like myself twice with horrible quality of life: you aren’t even following WHO guidelines if that’s even a concern
Sorry to patients being hassled being on benzos long term. There’s no Suboxone of benzos as they have for opioid users choosing to quit and switch. Klonopin maybe is a similar concept with long duration; maybe Valium too with long half life understood by doctors.
Lastly, the switch from Adderall XR and IR to Zenzedi (dextroamphetamine sulfate) it’s a brand name similar to Dexedrine tablets, more dose options similar to Adderall IR. I am seeing a better amount of benefits with this: no rush sensation, no cold extremities regardless of fluid intake and running 20 - 40 miles/week. Sleeping is easier because the med wears off without the Levoamphetamine continuing to produce nasty PNS (peripheral nervous system) effects.
The pharmacy telling me the doctor choosing whatever he wants to send in, he will fill it. Even mentioning Desoxyn the pharmacist was okay with this.
I’m not used to having a doctor and pharmacy there to be there for me and do their job title. I was always in fear and seeing this 10-11 years later: it’s all fear surrounded around the system that the doctor (now influx of NP/PA especially) follow and limitations unspoken on stop them from helping; seemingly they believe the anti-med information and push stuff like gabapentin - now not so much in several states with controlled status or reporting to PDMP. System nonsense right there.
My post is long but I want anyone to know chat/message for help/support: I’ve played the game and fought for myself been on benzo/stimulant since 13-14 no problems with meds until new docs began taper-happy, extended release happy anti-fast tablet mindset: pressure lead to abuse thinking I was f-worded, but better docs helped my mind slow down abuse knowing stability with each good doc.
I’m here to help if needed: 3 year medic army clinic time helped too.

Looking for advice on how to advocate for myself better or tests or referrals to ask for.
Me:
Almost 30 years old, female. Married, no children, full time self employed business ownehairstylist. Of English and Mediterranean descent. No significant history of alcohol use, no Marijuana use. Have not drank since 2020. No significant nicotene use, but smoked 1 to 3 cigarettes per day until 2021, switched to vaping the lowest concentration, quit nicotene in 2023. Generally healthy and balanced diet. 5'5", currently about 145lbs. 105/65 is normal resting BP, heart is high 50s to low 60s. No significant personal medical history aside from benign ovarian tumor resulting in emergency surgery due to torsion in 2017. Have had pelvic ultrasound within last 6 months, no findings. Normal abdominal CT. Have had two colonoscopies and an endoscopy due to GI issues, detailed below. PFT suggested mild asthma. GI Scopes found mild cell changes in lower esophagus, rectum, and chronic gastritis in stomach. Had MRI of brain which showed two small white matter hyperintensities. Normal echocardiogram, cardiac stress test showed elevated ejection fraction which may have been due to dehydration. Normal cardiac event monitor. I have some degenerative disc disease in my cervical and thoracic spine.
Blood panels usually show: - low- to low end of normal hemoglobin, potassium, sodium. - high end of normal levels of CO2 -high but not alarmingly high wbc (very high neutrophils but low lymphocytes) -thyroid (free t3 and t4) levels tend to swing from the 1.0's to almost 3.0 -estradiol low end of normal Have a normal ESR blood test, have not been given an ANA.
Symptoms include:
Sudden, crushing fatigue (have almost fallen asleep while standing and walking) Heart palpitations (both fast and slow, pounding ones) Sudden feelings of impending doom/death/panic Sudden lightheadedness and nausea Sudden bloating and diarrhea 5+ times a day Cystic acne, currently controlled with tretinoin (.025%) Migraines with aura, with or without headache (visual and sound distortions, cannot look at certain patterns (especially small stripes) or hear certain noises without feeling "out of sorts" Vertigo (feels like I'm falling or about to fall over) Extreme acid reflux that is never fully controlled even with Pantoprazole (burning is gone, regurgitation still a thing) Unexplainable weight fluctuations of up to 25 pounds within a couple months, both gain and loss. Random episodes of shortness of breath, rescue inhaler works typically. Sharp, stabbing pains and dull aches in rib cage, back, neck, and chest Sudden aching pains in arms and legs or skin will feel like patches of it are burning for a few minutes Unable to vigorously exercise or I will have what feels like an adrenaline dump and have a panic attack. Usually walking up to 3mph is fine but sometimes it isn't. Hypermobile joints which have resulted in many partial and full knee, shoulder, and finger dislocations, especially in teens and early 20s. I've always been very flexible. I do have TMJ.
***Also worth noting: Throughout 2018 and 2019, I'd have random days here and there where I would spike a fever and be in bed all day with flu like symptoms, if I went to the doctor my WBC count would be quite high, but either the next day or by the end of the day I'd be fine. This went on for about a year and a half. Then in late 2020, I got COVID and everything started or severely intensified about 6 months later. Continued to worsen until early 2022, then again in early 2023 after a series of very stressful events, and has stayed the same since. Most symptoms have been with me since childhood and intensified over the last few years to the point that some days I feel like I can barely function.
Family history of:
Mitral valve defects (both sides) DVT Heart attack Unstable angina Atrial fibrillation Renal failure Heart failure Type 2 diabetes Hypertension High cholesterol Colon cancer Hypothyroidism and Hyperthyroidism Reproductive cancers in men and women Anxiety Depression Bipolar disorder Substance use disorder Fibromyalgia Chronic fatigue syndrome Ulcerative colitis GERD PMDD

❗️ I'm sorry for possible mistakes but English is not my native language.
Ever since I (18f) can remember, I have been overweight. When I was 12, I started vomiting because I was stressed from problems with my father. Despite this, I remained overweight. The vomiting problem came and went for about 5 years. During this time, I would often stay up until 4 AM, crying about my weight, and when I finally fell asleep, I would have nightmares about being 50 years old, single, and without a family because of how I looked.
Last year, I decided to do everything I could to lose weight and started eating healthier (but I didn't count calories at this time). My initial weight was >84kg< (>169cm< tall) and my goal was >60kg<. After a few weeks, I lost some weight and felt amazing. People started treating me differently, and the boy I liked asked me out on a date. However, I still wasn't happy with how I looked. I decided to lose another 2kg to reach my ideal weight. I started counting calories and eventually lost those 2kg. Even then, I still wasn't satisfied, but my mom "forbade" me from losing more weight, saying I looked perfect and she didn't want me to develop an ED.
Then, I began having nightmares about eating. I would eat so much in these nightmares that I would end up vomiting. Despite my mom's concerns, I continued to lose weight but was still unhappy with my body. I still felt like the same ugly 10-year-old who was overweight. Now, I weigh >47kg<, and people keep telling me I'm "ugly" because I'm too skinny (even my friend's mom, who used to make fun of me for being fat, said this). I hate that whenever I eat, my stomach becomes bloated. Today, I had my first binge since March. I know I ate a lot of calories, but I made sure to binge on vegetables instead of fast food. I feel disgusting. I can feel the food inside me, and it makes me want to cry. I'm always cold (today it was 25°C, but my lips and fingers were blue). I'm tired of all this, but I'm scared that if I stop counting calories, I'll gain weight. Recently, my mom made me step on the scale and said I need to gain at least 5kg and start eating "normally." The problem is that she is overweight herself, and I don't want to look like her. I haven't had my period for 9 months, and I really want to talk to someone about it, but I feel helpless. Could this really be an eating disorder? I feel like a cheater because I've been eating three regular meals lately and not counting calories as strictly, and I thought I had gained some weight, but when I stepped on the scale today, I weighed >45.9kg<. Can this be ED?

Tested positive for Covid a few days ago. Family was sick before me but healed within a few days, had mild symptoms. I was vaccinated but it is expired as of like a year ago. Planned on getting another this week 🙄 I just reached 19 weeks and the anxiety is setting in! ob office just told me to stay home and rest but I feel like I’m getting slightly worse. I am sooo hot, nauseous, dizzy, can’t get rid of fever, and have been having mild chest pressure all day. Before I tested positive I had an asthma attack for the first time In years- I’m assuming the Covid triggered it. Considering going to the hospital tomorrow but I’m scared of just being sent back home and getting anyone sick :( anyone else who has been through this- good or bad outcomes- pls share ur experience/advice! I have still felt some slight movement in stomach today but have been peeing a lot less which is strange. Just hoping baby is okay in there. I’ve heard most babies are just fine but I am still worried. I have never been this exhausted before ! 😂

Haven’t had any caffeine today, still planning on none forever. Feel like I got hit by a truck. Want to sleep and sleep and sleep or just rest on the bed. Similar to how I felt last time I quit, but now I can’t even make myself do simple things I need to do. I really need some reconciliation of other people going through this/have gone through this.
Other possible symptoms: extreme nausea (is this normal?) lack of appetite Muscle aching/hurting Way more aware of my body and certain concerning things about it Very hard time concentrating Craving for sweets
Please tell me these aren’t just me!

I’ve been having random, extremely intense vertigo (nystagmus, nausea, vomiting, 1hr<) for about 5-6 weeks. In between episodes I’m fine except mild tinnitus, but I won’t drive or go to the office and I’m very anxious about leaving the house. There’s no trigger so I can’t work around that.
The Drs have suggested it could be labyrinthitis (though I’ve had no cold-like symptoms), or possibly Menieres, but I’m waiting on seeing the ENT specialist. I was taking prochlorperazine when I had episodes which helped their severity, but now I’ve been taking betahistine 8mg 3x per day for 6 days instead to hopefully reduce the frequency and severity of my vertigo in the long run. But while it kicks in, my attacks are just as severe (although I’m 5 days attack free, my longest streak).
At the weekend I took Kwells before a long car journey (someone else driving), and I had no vertigo or nausea, when normally I get travel sick. It was magical. I checked with a pharmacist beforehand and he told me it’s fine to take betahistine and hyoscine hydrobromide together.
I was wondering if anyone has used hyoscine hydrobromide for short-term vertigo relief, especially if you’ve taken it alongside betahistine? I’ve read that it can be used to treat vertigo, but I’ve seen no one talk about it. If it treats motion sickness, surely it’s effective at reducing the severity of vertigo episodes?

I don’t even know how to describe what’s wrong honestly. I just don’t feel quite right and am concerned is maybe the best way I can think to describe it bc I’m not really in pain but I have a certain degree of discomfort and my abdomen can feel mild pain sometimes particularly when laying on my side or bending over and occasionally I do get a bit of pain. I guess 1 of the best ways to describe it might be that I have tenderness and a bloated feeling in my abdomen, or a feeling of pressure. I think I’ve generally felt this way for several weeks with significant fatigue but I think it’s gotten more substantial recently especially today to the point where today I’m now urinating like every half hour or more frequently. I’m a bit concerned about kidney failure now or something related to my kidneys. Earlier today at the advice of my friend I was concerned about Type 1 Diabetes so I went to an urgent care facility and when they asked me what’s wrong I didn’t know what to say and said I might be interested in doing a diabetes screening and described the symptoms of frequent urination and tenderness in the abdomen. They told me that I needed a doctors order in order to run lab tests (that they can’t just test without me seeing a doctor 1st and a doctor ordering it which Idrg bc don’t they have doctors at that facility that can order them 🤷‍♂️) so I went home and scheduled a doctors appointment for Friday. I won’t get into it much here but that seems silly to me that I can’t just decide to have lab tests done to see what might be going on with me. Idk how urgent this might be and the thought of waiting more days for something that could have been done today is a bit frustrating and scary to me but I guess that’s my fault for not keeping up with my regular physicals and bloodwork and for waiting to see a doctor for so long after having the notion months ago that something feels a little off.
Uhm so, idk what to expect tbh. I’m worried about everything from Kidney problems to a urinary tract infection to a bacterial infection to pre diabetes or something (although I guess it’s probably not that but I wouldn’t really know). There’s no history of diabetes in my family afaik. Uhm I don’t eat a lot of sugar.
1 strange theory I have that I want to mention is that I’m concerned it could have to do with Grapefruit juice. I drink about at least 12 oz. of Florida’s natural Ruby Red Grapefruit juice everyday and have for years. I’m particularly concerned about the grapefruit juice after reading this:
https://ibb.co/7gD8DwK https://ibb.co/KGNBsYG https://ibb.co/gmpPKvF https://ibb.co/b1rxCBC
“Grapefruit juice can cause kidney failure in some people due to its high potassium content People with kidney infections should be cautious because their kidneys may not be able to filter out excess potassium, which can be life-threatening.”
“Grapefruit can also cause kidney toxicity, also known as nephrotoxicity, which can lead to kidney failure and damage. Other side effects of grapefruit juice on the kidneys include: • Muscle breakdown: When grapefruit is used with certain statins, it can cause abnormal and potentially serious muscle breakdown. The FDA reports that this risk can lead to kidney failure. • Liver damage: The FDA reports that this risk can lead to kidney failure. • Neurological side effects: The Mayo Clinic reports that these include confusion and memory lOss. However, grapefruit also contains a flavonoid called naringenin, which regulates a protein that decreases growths related to kidney cysts. A 2014 study by scientists at Royal Holloway, University of London, found that naringenin can prevent kidney cysts from forming.”
Uhm just laying down writing this now I think just realized I may be able to feel slight pain or pressure or bloating in my back which I read earlier today is sign of a kidney problem.
Idk what to do and am just a little scared and concerned I guess about waiting.
Medications I take include methadone daily at 29 mgs in the mornings.
I intake nicotine pretty heavily through a vaporizer.
What other information should I include uhm, I’m a 5’7” male, 28 years old, I weigh about 135 - 140 lbs, probably on the lower end rn but idrk.
Yeah idk my abdomen just feels weird in a way I’ve never experienced before and like tense and like pressure and I feel like I don’t want to bend over or twist it.
I think I might have a tonsil stone (Bc of a large white growth in my throat most visible when I shine a flashlight in my mouth down my throat) and possibly a skin / staph infection on another part of the body but that’s probably an unrelated issue. I only say that bc I have a boil looking skin bump on my rear. And that I’ve heard those can be staph infections. And I suppose I’m worried about that having possibly spread.
Sorry for being so thorough with possibly unrelated stuff. I just want to include as much information as possible bc idk what might be important in ways I don’t understand.
Uhm if I think of anything else I’ll post it in the comments. But yeah I just don’t feel great man, like I felt a bit nauseated and a bit ill this morning for a short while. I’ve felt extremely fatigued for weeks now sleeping an extremely excessive amount and rn walking around writing this I just feel a tension in my abdomen and sides and just torso / lower torso? Idk just torso in general. I really just don’t know how to describe it. Even my heart and arms sometimes kind of ache a bit recently. Idk even legs or limbs occasionally feel an ache that idk could just be anything. Maybe I’m getting a bit hypochondriac.
I don’t know what to think.
Thanks a lot for any time. I’m sorry I wrote so much. Nobody likes a kiss ass but I’ll say it anyway, I have great respect for the profession of healthcare provider. Like in a bit of a religious sense I think that kind of helping people in some of their worst moments and most needy and weak moments is admirable in a way almost nothing else is.
Think I might go back to a facility and try to see someone 1 more time or at least talk to them a bit more and explain better bc my family is encouraging me to. I don’t want to bother them unnecessarily though especially if I caused this and it’s some strange obscure phenomenon. Idk that’s all.

I (29M) was seeing this girl (27F) since around January. We matched on Hinge back in October 2023 and hit it off pretty well, but she ghosted me for a few months and I thought that was it. In January she got back in touch with me, and we started talking again and she explained that she went into a mental health break for that time. I forgave her and we started officially seeing each other.
She was amazing, beautiful, super funny and I ended up falling in love. We were dating and everything was going well. I was doing everything I could to make her happy (Dates, order food while she was a work sometimes, take/drive her home from work, etc.)
Fast forward to the middle of March and my mother passes away suddenly while on a trip in Tampa, FL. It was an extremely painful time. I took a month of my military leave until mid-April to mourn the loss of my Mom and to attend her funeral in Georgia. After I came back I was a mess, but my gf did her best to check on me and be there for me. I realized this and wanted to make sure I was still putting effort into our relationship.
At the beginning of May, I find out she is moving back to New York at the end of the month and I was absolutely crushed. I asked her if we could spend time together and she says yes. Unfortunately, she started to cancel the times we set to see each other due to her feeling “stressed out and avoidant”. I try to respect her time, but was wandering if she was still interested in me.
A couple of days ago, I call her because she canceled plans to see each other on Friday. She then tells me she found she is leaving this Sunday. We agree that if she gets everything done, we’ll see each other a few hours before she goes to the airport. Fast forward to Sunday, I call her a few times and text her, but she leaves me on read for a few hours. I’m out running errands and a get a really bad feeling of dread in my stomach so, I did something rash and went to the place she was staying to check on her. I’m told she was out taking care of things. I leave then call her. To be honest I was blowing up her phone at this point. After a while a dude picks up and I ask who this is and he treats it as a joke and hangs up. At this point, I don’t know what got into me but I lost it and went back to her place. When I got there, I was told by her best friend that she moved back to NY this morning. I go back home to realize that I am blocked on everything. She reaches out on final time on Discord to tell me that I had no place to go to the place that she was staying unannounced and that she was blocking me. I tried everything to convince her but it was over.
All the emotions over the past few months caught up with me and the dam breaks: I had a severe mental breakdown and cried like I never cried before.
I feel so fucking ashamed for giving into impulse and acting like a creep. I really loved her and I wanted to make sure she was okay, but I went too far and disrespected the boundaries of people who were not even involved. I should have just left it alone and minded my business.
The last two nights, I’ve had nightmares about it, woke up in cold sweats and just started sobbing. I’ve never felt so alone and stupid in my entire life.
I plan to go see a Chaplain tomorrow to talk and get some help because I feel like I’ve lost everything.

I’m guessing this is now the norm with this newest variant? I’m just curious, how many of you experienced nausea/GI problems at the beginning of your illness?
I started experiencing nausea a few days before the scratchy throat, and then got hit HARD with severe nausea and GI distress about 24 hours after the scratchy throat first appeared.
Thought I had a stomach bug at first, but now experiencing all of the respiratory symptoms.

Lol, I thought this would be funny to write about as a first silly little post as it is the most interesting thing in my life. (Don’t mind any typos)
First of all, to anyone who wants to tell me to stop or get over it or give me any valid reasonable and rational advice,I will not listen so don’t bother.
As these stories go, I 15(f) in love with English teacher 26(f). I’m obsessed with her, and have been for almost msot 2 years, it would have been longer if she had come into my life sooner.
I’m not a love at first sight person, so it took a while for it to come about. And iv always had problems with getting violently obsessed with things, I believe it’s some kind of coping mechanism, you know? If I don’t have something to live for then I fall in love with something, subconsciously of course. First it was cartoon characters then celebrity’s and the for the first time a real person who I know in real life! (Except she’s my teacher and she’s 26) but also the first woman iv ever fallen for (iv always known Im pan so it wasn’t a shock really). I think another HUGE reason I love her is because I don’t have a mother, she was abusive, druggy, alcoholic yadi-yadi-yada, and so I don’t live with her and I don’t like her and she isn’t there for me, and so I meet a kind female adult who I look up to? Obviously I get attached and I see her as a mother figure. I really do, I want to be just like her, I want to make her proud, I seek her validation, i want to fuck her. You know, regular motherly things!
The first day I met her, first day of year 10. From the second she walked into the class I felt her energy and her vibes and I had that feeling where you instantly like someone and want to be friends with them and think they are super cool. Now, she is not hot, like Obviously to me me right now in this moment she’s the most beautiful and pretty person iv ever seen she’s so cute and hot and all that, but Obviously that’s because I’m obsessed with her everything about her is great, but she’s the kind of ugly that when she first walked into the class people snickered.
She has a rash on her chin, a noticeable moustache, she looks at least 30 despite being much younger, her eyes are creepy looking and small, her skin is really red and dry and way too textured, she does weird ugly facial expressions, she has a big nose, her hair is never brushed and always greasy, she has really small eyelashes blah blah blah.. (she obviously has some really nice features as well, but I’m trying to prove i don’t like her for her looks)
Now In her defence I think they were laughing because she has the hugest ass iv seen in my entire life, not cuz of her face. (She wears really tight leggings everyday) But, she is overweight and a lot of people bring her down cuz of it but that has nothing to do with any of it for me obviously, and I obviously didn’t laugh when she walked in.
The point is, I instantly liked her and her personality, she has that school mum vibe, she’s witty she’s confident she’s loud, she’s funny, she’s so weird (like she does and says the weirdest stuff, she’ll start dancing out of no where with no warning, she shortens words all the time and then says them three times like: “fab fab fab” she has just the weirdest tendencies and mannerisms it’s insane), shes always so exited and jolly, she’s like a ball of sunshine yet at the same time she’s so sassy and passive aggressive, when I’m older I wanna be just like her you know!
And that’s how I felt for a long time, I would just enjoy her lessons because of the energy and vibes she’d bring! She makes everything so much fun just by being there, she’s also a drama teacher so she’s great at getting a crowd going and stuff. But it seemed no one else liked her, they either fat shamed her, or said she was a bitch, or found her annoying.
They aren’t wrong she is all of those things, but she’s only a bitch to you if you don’t respect her and then she’s passive aggressive and makes your time in her class hell, and as her favourite student who kissed her ass everyday it was fun for me to watch people get roasted by her and never have to worry about it. She is annoying to a lot of people because she hypes everyone up, and she’s loud and obnoxious and confident, she laughs at her own jokes and she’s giggly and she does stupid accents, she’s the walking talking definition of “QUIRKY” and so 15 year olds find her incredibly cringey and jarring. But as an immature individual my self I found her energy like something I have never seen anyone have so i from the first day thought she was my favourite teacher ever!
I often take the role of like comic relief when it comes to my friends so I often make the joke myself, and once I felt this admiration for my English teacher, and this giddy happy feeling in me when I saw her, I thought it would be a great idea to pretend/ hint to having a crush on her to my friends as a joke so they can make fun of me. It was small things like “oh my english teacher! … oh.. I liiiiikkkee herrrrrrrr~!” Id day when people mention her, no one caught onto the joke for a couple months until one day, after a holiday I had dyed my hair and she walked past me and she complimented it, I thanked her and INSTANTLY MY HEART WAS POUNDING AND I GOT ALL GIGGLING, my friend was next to me and found it funny obviously. And then the more I went to her lessons I couldn’t stop getting all sweaty and nervous around her, and every time she’d do something cute, like squeal when she’s frustrated and make weird noises or do a fake accent, or tell a joke I’d feel so unbelievably happy, and I couldn’t stop talking and thinking about her, but Eveytime I’d think about her or look at her id get a huge ick of like.. but ewww she’s so not hot! I can NOT be in love with THAT.
By summer I was still feeling this Same way, one day she wore a dress and like the dopey idiot she is, she lifted her leg and from where I sat I saw her panties. I WAS DISGUSTED, and looked away. And then looked back.. but then looked away.. and then looked back.. and then looked away.. (and did it a couple more times) but I felt sick in my stomach the whole time! It was not a hot thing at the time.
Then the year ends and it’s the summer holiday, (now up until this point I was quite caught up with my David walliams obsession. yes the 56 year old.. and so I didn’t really care about her all that much. On the first day back, before school started I went to a birthday party and I saw her walking outside of the school, when I saw her my heat was beating so fast, i hadn’t seen her in 6 weeks and I was not expecting to see her then, I said hi to her and i couldn’t stop thinking about that moment so intensely, and every thought I had about her being ugly didn’t matter to me, it’s not like I forgot about it, I know what she looks like, but I just think everything about her is so beautiful, it’s part of her and so its perfect.
That feeling got worse and worse as the year went by, every time i see her I shake, i sweat, I have panic attack like symptoms, but I feel so happy, like manic, I am overwhelmed, I want to punch things, I want to scream.
Then we get to the part where to silence this obsession I did regrettable and wierd things that she will never know about, some of the despicable things iv done in “the name of love” for her include:
Eating her hair Licking her spit of the table Kissing her chair when she leaves the room Following her around school Drawing her Writing poems about her Writing songs about her Making edits of her Taking photos of her Recording her voice when she talks to me Stealing her trash Licking her pens Making AI chat bots with her personality Making a bingo game about her (that one is just funny, and all my friends played it too, during her lessons lol)
And many other things I won’t mention. Obviously I’m not proud of any of this, and I didn’t really need to do it, some of it I did “as a joke” for my friends, some of them I did just because I could.. but the recording her voice one is essential! Anytime we’d have a heart felt convo I’d record it so I can listen to it if I ever loose the will to live (surprisingly frequently).
Now our relationship as student and teacher was/is very good.
We’ve had some lovely moments, she told me she cared about me outside of the classroom.
A personal favourite of mine: One time she was marking my work and it was just us in the classroom and I rested my head on her shoulder as she was going through it with me, and she looked down at me and she smiled and then we stayed like that for ages while she marked my work.
All my friends said I was delusional and that she probably hates me, but she has a huge ego and i believe she likes to keep me around to give it a boost every now and then.
I wore a matching outfit with her once (on accident) and she was very happy about it
Anytime I’d ask her what I can do to improve my grade she’s say to me “oh no! But you’re doing really well! I thought you did great!”
She’d never get mad at me or shout at me for anything, if we are doing a one between two activity she’d give me the only extra sheet in the class
I asked her to sit at the front to her because I “concentrate better at the front” (i only asked cuz i wanted to sit closer to her) she gave me a sly smirk and then the next lesson she moved me to the back of the class, and also moved her self to the back of the class.
We took a selfie together and the whole time she was giggling, I gave her a Christmas card, she lets me follow her around the school, she gave my friends dirty looks when they were being mean to me
I sent her stupid emails of pictures of capybaras (it was an inside joke between us) and she responded with a way to enthusiastic response for such a simple image lol!
I sand “you belong with me” by TS and she stood in the crown and when it got to the “you belong with me” bit I pointed at her and she pointed back! Singing the words back to me
Oh, and let us not forget the amount of eye contact. I never look people in the eye, one of my first exes I barely ever looked into their eyes all the time I knew them, I just suck at eye contact. Until I met her, since I’m so insecure about her forgetting me or loosing me or something I often stare at her when she’s teaching to make sure that she doesn’t forget me. And some how in the last couple of months she stares at me as well.
Anytime she tells a joke she looks straight at me to see how I respond (always with giggles even when it’s the lamest thing iv ever heard. It’s often not funny at all.) and the entire time shes teaching the lessons I will stare at her. IN HER EYES. Like, I’ll often smile calmly, but if she hasn’t looked at me in like 4 minutes then I’ll stare deeper, but she usually looks into my eyes and hold it for a while sometimes she’ll even smile at me and then stutter and forget what she’s saying before looking away and continuing. She’ll stare deeply into my eyes, throughout the lesson, and I also always catch her looking at me first.
Once she was helping me with my work, she got really close to me, and she stared into my eyes and then I see her getting small glances at my lips (with this one I may be a little delusional) she leaned in and she kept getting confused. Like, she yaps a lot, and a lot very loudly. So it was odd for her to be standing there her arm touching mine talking to me and being like “…. Um-.. heh-.. where was i..” and she flicks through my paper and then looks back at me and goes silent and then swallows and then looks down and then flips through it again and then says something small and short followed by more silence.
I also have a theory shes on drugs, for many reasons but one time I needed her to take a photo of my book, and she was acting so weird, tired but like really like dizzy and loopy and breathless. And she went to take a photo of my book, and got behind me and she leaned into my book, and I felt her heavy loud breath on my neck as her stray hairs were tickling the side of my face and her shoulder was touching my back, she she just stood there and stared at my book for ages until i was like “um so.. you can.. take a photo or something..” and then she slowly did it hahahaha!
Obviously it’s now exam time and so school is basically over and I have no more lessons, so I didn’t go into depth about how much she means to me as a person but to sum it up into one sentence; I would want to seriously kill my self with out her in my life.
And so the thing I had been fearing for so long, the last English lesson, the last time seeing my dear beloved. Well obviously it’s life or death so I have to tell her how I feel and get her to stay in contact with me.
The last lesson ends I go up to her after a morning of: pissing my self, shitting my self, throwing up in my mouth, constantly putting on perfume, checking my hair and chewing the mintiest of gums. And I start my speech, I won’t go into it but I told her how I felt about her (minus the being in love bit I played it off as platonic duh, im not fully stupid).
I told her that she means so much to me, and she’s (one of) my favourite people in the world (that’s a white lie she’s my only favourite) I can’t go on with out her, I need her, iv felt this way since the first lesson, your so fun, you mean so much to me! I cant loose you, I don’t know what I would do with out you!!!!
I cried in her arms as she hugged me! And i didnt even need to ask she suggested we could stay in contact, in-fact all i had said was “I’ll miss you so much :(“ and she already suggested we stay in contact, but Obviosuly I still did the whole speech cuz at some point she needed to know. Her response was basically that she already knew, but she was very pleased to hear it, and everything is going to be perfectly okay.
She said we can stay in contact (through email, cuz apparently there is a “legal thing unfortunately” stopping her from giving me her number (yes I did ask for her number, but in a total no homo way.)
She said I can talk to her anytime about anything as much as I like, and that’s good enough for me!
I also gave her a drawing I did of her and me together which was cute, her response to that was “oh very cool! she walks over. she takes it in her hands, very excited to see it. This really throws her confidence off, she’s really not expecting this. OH THIS IS AMAIZING! her voice cracks THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! this is lovely! thank you, this is soo good! oh-muh-gud it’s SO good! oww I love it! thank you.. I’m wearing the same top as well, how fun~.. HOW FUN!!!! how fun!! … she takes it and puts it in her bag i will prop this up, on my desk! wicked wicked awesome!” (I recorded her reaction so that’s how you know it’s word for word)
In conclusion, im creepily obsessed and its a problem, but I don’t really regret anything cuz it’s all gotten me to this point where I can talk to her when ever I want and that’s all I could ever ask her. Yes I want to fuck her, but that’s not important to me I just need her in my life, she’s my world she’s my reason of living, and I’m so happy things are this way! I’m doing my exams now so I get to see her everyday when I come into school (by see her I mean wait outside the staff room so I can catch a glimpse of her knee). I’m also glad I’m not in her lessons anymore cuz I’d always get so twitchy around her, anytime she’d be near me and I’d be trying my best not to lunge at her, when I see her my mouth waters I just wanna grab her and kiss her all over! Eeek! She’s adorableeeee!
I love herrrrr ❤️❤️❤️

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Discord + Wiki] ; [Patreon]
​
​
Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
​
„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Hi reddit, my 12 year old schnauzer has been going through some sudden health issues that seem to be worsening than it started and I would appreciate if I could get some feedback on making further decisions.
Two weeks ago, he had black diarrhea so I took him to the vet. Upon examinations, his liver rates were too high, so they prescribed Zentonil, Metronidazole and a GI paste to try out for a month. Since the visit to the vet, he has not been eating at all. This included everything but water; until about a week ago, water included. He doesn't even look at his favourite snack, I tried blending meat or rice into a soup, Hill's prepared foods, bone broth, making the kibbles softer, giving little portions on my hands-everything. For the first week, since the last two medications needed to be eaten with/after food, I spooned puree into his throat with the pill. I think the pills stopped the diarrhea but since then, he would puke everything that went in, even in small portions. Soon after I saw the yellow stomach bile being vomited I stopped force feeding entirely. Since then, no puking. However, this means he has no source of nutrition which lead to his drastic weight loss. He is usually 8.5kg. At the vet, he was 7.4kg. This morning, I weighed him, he was 6.2kg. He seriously can't even walk anymore but keeps his eye wide open the whole time. He breathes really hard. His hind leg shivers. The Metronidazole and GI paste finished in a little over a week, and just about then was when he stopped puking because I stopped force feeding; I also stopped the Zentonil as well. I have a month's supply of Zentonil and the vet told me to try for a month but his serious appetite loss is concerning me and I don't know what to do.
I called the vet about a week ago about his appetite issue and they said they can either give him an IV drop that will probably just last a few hours; or to do an ultrasound (but they don't know what they're looking for so it could come out clean). My boy had a half-year long visit due to a neurology-related issue, only after spending 6k and numerous exams the specialist told me that his symptoms are gone so there's no need to do anything. I was happy to see that he was feeling better, but I just don't want this to be something that will make me toss him around to different specialists only to give him more pain. Should I go to my vet and proceed with an ultrasound or is there anything else I can do? I am really concerned.

• Species: Canine
• Age: 12
• Sex/Neuter status: Neutered
• Breed: Schnauzer
• Body weight: 6.2kg
• History: See above
• Clinical signs: Severe weight loss, no appetite, heavy breathing, hind leg shivering intermittently
• Duration: 1-2 week
• Your general location: Canada

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Just got my 24hr PH results. Normal acid reflux levels.
1 acid reflux event 21 weakly acid events
Dr conclusion was normal, no explanation for my severe throat pain.
I suspect I have weakly acidic reflux because I have low stomach acid. Would this make sense?
Symptoms are: Severe throat burn 24/7 no matter what i eat Voice problems/throat clearing Constant burping belching all day (Mayne brining Pepsi) Indigestion and bloating. Mucas (doesn't bother me so much)
I never had any of these issues until 24hrs after I took the PPI (for an unrelated cough 😤)
I suspect Low Stomach Acid and possibly bacterial overgrowth from the PPI. I was on PPIs for 2 months and I've been off for 3 months but my stomach is still wrecked.
I did AWD for 5 months with zero improvement. 3 weeks into the Fast Tract Diet now and belching has reduced a small amount, but no improvement in other symptoms. Throat burn is brutal.
No HH, barium swallow was OK, no H-p.
Lost tons of weight. Severely under weight now. Struggle to work or socialize. Can't exercise as it makes things worse (I just walk).
Soon gonna start HCL but worried because I'm in severe throat pain now. Can barely work as is... If it gets worse I'm in trouble.
Anyone's LPR improve after they fixed their stomach?

My toddler has a runny nose and itchy eyes. He’s perfectly fine otherwise and is running around and playing. I know my kid and he’s had a cold a few times before and he’s nothing like how he is now when he’s sick. But my know it all MIL is swearing up and down that he needs medicine because he has a cold. Apparently a runny nose and itchy eyes are not allergy symptoms. I’m a bit annoyed because my husband and I are going away for the weekend and she will be watching LO. I don’t trust that she will listen to me by not giving him medicine. It’s extremely frustrating dealing with someone who thinks they know my kid better than I do.

Hi all,
I had surgery back on the 29th of April. The first two weeks I couldn’t get liquid down due to stomach pain. Last week I was finally able to drink liquid with no problem! I am currently on the puréed phase and I’m noticing the same thing that was happening with liquids.
I chew thoroughly, and I take my time eating, but upon swallowing I get this dull ache in the middle of my stomach and it comes up in the form of a burp (I hope that makes sense, it’s so hard to describe). I’m guessing this is because there’s gas in my stomach but I’m not sure. This happens with anything I eat, the pain usually quickly subsides, but it will come back.
I’ve tried avocado, scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, puréed meats and fish. Basically I’ve tried everything on my diet list, and it’s usually the same sensation. I’m not too sure what’s going on, but does anyone have any advice? I’m also reaching out to my doctor to see if this is normal since I’m a bit worried.

48f 5'7" 120 pounds
T1D
Meds: buspirone, zoloft, adderall, dexilant, insulin, rosuvastatin
Been having ruq pain, constipation, and diarrhea. Serious cramping at times. Biggest complaint it's that pain in the right side, i have been constantly adjusting my posture and sleep position so my back is now always hurting too. Happening since March
Fecal Elastase was <50
Gall bladder removed last year
Today was my endoscopy
Before the procedure? The doctor was like : oh your a1c is too high, that's probably causing all your symptoms"
My last A1C was 6.6 and it has been between 6.3 and 6.8 for the last 15 years, which is when i was diagnosed
After the procedure they said i had a hiatal hernia and fluid in my stomach, likely pointing to gastroparesis
They will likely schedule a gastric emptying if insurance will cover it but that will likely take several months
They took some samples to biopsy
I was told to eat small low fiber meals and see you in September for a follow up
My sister has had a hernia strangulation and almost lost part of her bowel so i am a little concerned they seem to be doing nothing about this. Is this something they're going to be watching? Do hernias get bigger? Constipation and hernia is no good right? I get backed up pretty easily, always have, and low fiber seems like that'll make that worse?
(Older colonoscopy showed a sharp right turn in a part of my lower colon, and yes that is where it often hurts when things aren't moving bc it doesn't get around the corner as well i guess)
He also didn't like that i was on Dexilant and wants to move me to otc famotidine after a month, which doesn't touch the GERD at all. Says Dexilant has too many side effects
I have tried famotidine, omeprazole, pantaprozale
Dexilant is the only one that works. Believe me, this shit is expensive, if otc pepcid worked Id be ALL over it
I understand being hesitant for hernia surgery, surgery is a big deal and if it can be managed medically, great
But i would like to know what, if anything, is going to happen going forward. Do i get an egd every year or something to watch it? Does this explain the upper right quadrant pain? I asked about the enzymes from the Fecal test and he just said"take them if you want"??
And if anyone could clarify what problems Dexilant could cause that'd be very helpful too Thank you.

Hi all, I’m wondering if someone can help me understand this phenomenon…
I moved from mold almost 9 months ago. Every few weeks I come down with common cold type symptoms (sneezing, fatigue, somewhat colored mucus). I had bloodwork done and nothing was wrong except low vitamin D and WBC count low (
I’m working with a practitioner to detox, remove parasites (my EOS were 5).
But I’m struggling to understand why I keep “catching” colds. I work from home, I’m not around tons of people. I live in the city, but even so, I don’t go to crowded places.
I’m starting to research terrain theory and wondering if that’s what’s going on here? Is my body detoxing viruses?

As of recently i have often "felt" my prostate. Weird but sometimes after ejaculation it would "burn/feel weird/ache". Also every now and then when i try to hold my ejaculation but end up ejaculating the very tip of my urethra burns very hard for a very short time, usually ends quick after peeing which also hurts. Sometimes even quicker but it never lasted longer than 30 seconds. Today i had a simmilar experience and later 6-7 hours later, when going to shower i felt my underwear smell fishy and strange (but a smell i have before experienced as vaginas smell very simmilar in the summer time) there was a little bit of something wet in my underwear kind of like precum but i cant be sure. Never had this weird smell. I have been in a relationship for 3 years and before that i had some risky sex but never managed to get tested because of my governments lack of health services. The swabs would aways go bad before actually being tested. I googled it and could be from some sti-s but as i said its been 4 years since my last very risky sex and i googled that these conditions go asymptomatic for months but i havent seen anywhere that they go like this for years. In the last 4 years i have been very sick multiple times from the flu or from overwoking myself and in these times of low immunity i guess i could have developed symptoms of a potential lurking sti. Or at least my partner should have. Could this be a bacterial or fungal uti? Or something with the prostate? I will go see a doctor but still asling for some experiences first here

Hi all, I’m wondering if someone can help me understand this phenomenon…
I moved from mold almost 9 months ago. Every few weeks I come down with common cold type symptoms (sneezing, fatigue, somewhat colored mucus). I had bloodwork done and nothing was wrong except low vitamin D and WBC count low (
I’m working with a practitioner to detox, remove parasites (my EOS were 5).
But I’m struggling to understand why I keep “catching” colds. I work from home, I’m not around tons of people. I live in the city, but even so, I don’t go to crowded places.
I’m starting to research terrain theory and wondering if that’s what’s going on here? Is my body detoxing viruses?

Hi. I have experienced some unusual symptoms, I believe something is wrong with me, and I am trying to figure out how to overcome these symptoms. I am 21/f and have always been very emotional and shy. I can still remember being in kindergarten and feeling scared and lost in my thoughts about everything. I would often sit alone and speak very little.
I didn’t notice it then, but now I see other kids doing kids things without overthinking, and it makes me wonder if something has always been wrong with me. I was always in my head, imagining things, and I never approached other people. I was(and still am, unfortunately not in my advantage) an overly empathetic child, but I couldn't help but notice that other kids didn't seem to worry about how others perceived them as much as I did.
Every social occasion would stress me out so much that my stomach would hurt. By the time I reached 7th grade, my hands suddenly started shaking. My mom took me to the doctor, who said I was just too emotional. The symptoms have worsened as I’ve aged. Now, I always have this strange feeling in my stomach and chest, like heavy butterflies on steroids.
I recently noticed that I hold my breath when I'm near others. My hands still shake but stop when I’m alone. I feel so self-conscious that it’s driving me crazy. I sweat a lot, and depending on the situation, I get so stressed that I can’t even hear what others are saying, which makes things worse because I end up ashamed of not hearing/understanding what they say.
The worst part is that I experience the most severe brain fog and start to act awkward, unintelligent and I feel extremely weird, like my whole body is on fire, I lose control of it and I feel like I have a disability. My logical thinking vanishes like poof. It takes me a long time to get comfortable with new people, and it’s even harder when there’s more than one person. My symptoms are so intense that sometimes I can’t concentrate on literally anything, I can't write my name, I can't add numbers in my head, and my vision gets bad and blurry.
I have managed to hide this well, but I am ready to try and get rid of these symptoms, because I will soon be starting work and I dont want to leave a bad impression on my colleagues. I've had people laugh or give strange looks at my behaviouclumsiness before and it felt sooo bad. Is anyone experiencing the same things? Is this anxiety? Am I sick? Is there something wrong with me? Can I get rid of this? Can social interactions ever be fun and not scary? Can I trick myself into enjoying social interactions? I want to clarify that I also have some days(unfortunately, not many) when I have none of the symptoms but I don't do anything different and I feel soo good. Does anyone know why?