What to text girlfriend dirty

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

I'm a 26 year old autistic man and transgender (it is relevant to the story) from England and basically I moved from Cornwall to Preston to live with my girlfriend. Basically I used to be a very introvert person but since moving here 3 years ago in the past year I've wanted to make some friends so I did just that and went to a pub one day and met an older guy (58 year old man) who I considered a good friend.
Well anyway I've known him about a year maybe and he was a nice bloke, we would share rounds of drinks and that. He told me had suffered 2 strokes and a heart attack, he also lost his dad who he was close too about 4 years ago. I helped him as he helped me become more sociable. I had him on Facebook and WhatsApp as a contact who I'd message.
After about 3 months of knowing him he told me he fancied an 18 year old, he was telling me lets go and meet him all the time at his work place which i thought was really weird but I didnt believe him that he actually liked an 18 year old. But it was just weird in my opinion It turned very weirder when he got rejected by him. He would go on about hating black men but he'd "joke" that he would shag a black man because the size of their penis to which I thought he's drank too much il just ignore him and go home for the night. He then got creepy towards me saying because I'm trans he would like to have a 3some along with another trans person and when I turned it down he said he hated trans people and that were perverts to children. I then stopped hanging out with him for a while due to his racism and transphobia. My girlfriend was aware of this and agreed that I shouldn't hang out with him.
In August last year I went out and met him randomly whilst we was in the same pub and he apologised and said he didn't mean any of it and that he was drunk and being really stupid. I was sat with another friend of mine and he said just talk to him basically. He was fine and I forgave him. That same night I was sat in a pub and I had left my phone with my friend whilst I went for the toilet. To which I came back and it was gone. I looked everywhere and even broke down crying I asked him if he had seen it and he said no. I was crying and went home but realised I had a tracking app on my tablet at home to locate it. Well sure enough it came up to his house when I googled the street! So I demanded my phone back and he said yeh he had it and that it was a joke and that he was going to give it back anyway. I decided that was absolutely it and I'd never meet him again.
I was getting on with my life I was getting help for all my problems I was facing with autism and had him blocked for ages. My friend messages me one day out the blue saying basically he is threatening suicide because I had him blocked and that he had been sectioned because of me. I unblocked him and sent him a message saying "I want you to leave me and my friends alone for good I don't want anything to do with you" he told me he wanted to meet me and talk to me face to face and I did... I probably shouldn't of done. Anyway I made friends with him stupidly but didn't hang out with him as much.. my girlfriend always said he picked on me cos I'm considered a very vulnerable adult.
To the point I'm getting too this was just context. I've not met him for a drink since January I told him I didn't want to go out as I was focusing on university and to be true I lied to him a lot because I didn't wanna meet him. Ever since I said that to him he's been driving his car past my house and taking pictures of it and sending it to me on WhatsApp. Now he's faking heart attacks and that if I don't talk to him he will kill himself, he's not leaving me alone (I have blocked him) but he's been texting me on unknown numbers so I can't block those threatening if I don't talk to him he will tell everyone I know that I'm transgender, that I'm autistic and desperate for a job to the place I applied for for a job. He has stalked me to find out where I live basically and
I love Beth Evans she was my best girlfriend

On the surface I’m a pretty good boyfriend. We hang out all the time, I always surprise her with things, and I love her more than anything.
However, over time I’ve developed an awful destructive habit, I’m an totally co-dependent. To the absolute extreme. She is always on my mind, and for the last year or so, I’ve been snooping her phone. It started as a one-time thing, a guy snap chatted her, and I looked. I remember my heart racing like crazy, hands shaking, thinking about getting caught.
Now, it’s a totally different story. It’s almost natural for me. And way, way worse. I have read every single text, DM and more that she has sent for probably the last 3-4 months. When I’m not with her, I am consistently tracking her location, even when she’s at home. I track all her web searches, I even use her laptop to see all her messages going back and forth throughout the day.
The thing I’m most scared of, besides of course this being completely psychopathic behavior, is the fact that I enjoy it. Almost like I am trying so hard to find proof of her cheating, where I’m almost disappointed if there’s nothing if that makes any sense. It’s sadly become like a game for me, trying to catch her.
I know this stems from recently finding out my dad cheated, shocked me to my core and tore my family up. But that’s no excuse. What the fuck is wrong with me?
TL;DR I track every single thing my girlfriend does, and it’s become an adrenaline rush “game” to me.

On the surface I’m a pretty good boyfriend. We hang out all the time, I always surprise her with things, and I love her more than anything.
However, over time I’ve developed an awful destructive habit, I’m an totally co-dependent. To the absolute extreme. She is always on my mind, and for the last year or so, I’ve been snooping her phone. It started as a one-time thing, a guy snap chatted her, and I looked. I remember my heart racing like crazy, hands shaking, thinking about getting caught.
Now, it’s a totally different story. It’s almost natural for me. And way, way worse. I have read every single text, DM and more that she has sent for probably the last 3-4 months. When I’m not with her, I am consistently tracking her location, even when she’s at home. I track all her web searches, I even use her laptop to see all her messages going back and forth throughout the day.
The thing I’m most scared of, besides of course this being completely psychopathic behavior, is the fact that I enjoy it. Almost like I am trying so hard to find proof of her cheating, where I’m almost disappointed if there’s nothing if that makes any sense. It’s sadly become like a game for me, trying to catch her.
I know this stems from recently finding out my dad cheated, shocked me to my core and tore my family up. But that’s no excuse. What the fuck is wrong with me?
TL;DR I track every single thing my girlfriend does, and it’s become an adrenaline rush “game” to me.

I'm looking for more input to help me decide what to do about my job situation.
Some not so quick backstory on my narc:
I took an Executive Assistant position with a six-person company (with no HR department) just over a year ago. Shortly after I started, my boss went through a divorce, which significantly changed his behavior. Initially, the job was great, with hybrid and work-from-home options. However, as the divorce progressed, he began making inappropriate comments and exhibited troubling behavior.
He kept insisting that I hook him up with some of my friends. This is after telling me he was not looking for anything serious, so he was really asking for me to find someone he could have sex with. When I told him that was not part of my job description he just laughed and said I was also his personal assistant and I have to do anything he asks. He would often come into the office sick and would end up getting me sick. When I asked if he could cough into his shoulder instead of coughing openly all over the office (sometimes in my face like a child) he made a comment to the 27 year old he was seeing at the time that he and I made out with him and that's why he was sick. He came into my office laughing about how upset his 27 year old girlfriend was that he was making jokes about making out with his assistant. I told him "you can't say things like that to me or her" he laughed and walked away. I spent the next two hours crying on the phone to my coworker (who happens to be related to him and in no position of power any more because she's close to his ex wife so she cannot help me) and she insisted he wasn't like that. I couldn't tell anyone but my partner because I felt so ashamed. I went back into the office after crying and his first words to me were "wow you look like shit" I explained to him that I had been crying because his inappropriate comments made me feel like I am not professional and instead just a joke to him. He apologized and said he couldn't afford a defamation suit right now with the divorce and sent me home for the day.
This is only a few weeks into having this job so I am panicked thinking I am stuck at this point because who's going to hire someone that's only been at a company for a few weeks? How is that going to look on my resume.
As time went on I feel like I really dove in and made the job my own. I'm basically everything to the company with HR, IT, Accounting etc. as some of us EA's end up being for small companies. I am also taking over duties for his relative who is pregnant and she basically runs the company for him so I am truly the end all be all for all operations of the company.
While the inappropriate comments stopped (I think it was because he finally got a long term gf) other things started coming up. I took a long weekend vacation in August, October, December and February and on each of those vacations he ended up texting me that he didn't feel supported by me and that I needed to focus on streamlining things for him and he's not getting that enough from me. The October, December, February vacations I spent the first day crying because of these texts. Both times I came back from vacation and wrote emails asking how I can do better but both times I was written off and told "I don't want to talk about that right now." I asked him "can you please not text me criticisms while I am on vacation and instead have a sit down conversation with me face to face so that we might tackle these issues" he would say yes then of course it would never happen and this behavior continues.
More recently he has been getting a bit more emotionally abusive I guess? I have to text him reminders (which I have now stopped because of this conversation) every hour, half hour, 15 minutes and 5 minutes before each meeting. He was upset because a meeting got moved and I didn't adjust my notifications and he ended up being a half hour early to a meeting. He was very irate and has called me unreliable multiple times and has asked me to stop sending these notifications because my JD clearly states that I need to set up these notifications through technology (my mistake for trying to defend myself). I reminded him that my JD and operating manual that the old EA made states that I need to also text him these reminders, I had already had the notifications set up on his phone and asked if he was not seeing them. His response was "I'm saying the lack of self awareness with how you communicate to me is getting tiring. Your job is not on the line here but as you can see are going to keep moving forward and keep making improvements." I think he is projecting the self awareness but I just don't find this kind of feedback respectful or helpful.
He started off my annual review by telling me that I would not be getting my bonus as "freely" as I did last year and he's going to put a lot of stipulations in place to make sure I don't get it without a lot more work (that was feb and it's now almost june and these stipulations have still not been stated..). He said that he needs to spend more money on marketing and he's overpaying people so he will not give me a raise this year. He also went on to talk about how I have a bad attitude and how I've been frustrated with the new office. My commute tripled with this move and this office is a coworking space that does not give us the proper tools to operate our company - his gf helped him pick it out without knowing how we operate and it's only continued to hinder and cost us money so yes, I am frustrated and feel way out of my depth with zero support. On top of the fact that he makes snide comments that he doesn't believe I can't do xyz because the office wifi doesn't support it. He just recently hired another relative to take over the IT duties for the new office because I've been struggling and even she is running into the same problems I am seeing. (obviously he only hires relatives because those are the only people that put up with his bs longterm)
In conclusion, I am terrified of working the two weeks if I give notice given his penchant for hurting me. I am also terrified of giving same day notice but would be far more relieved if I block him on everything. However, he's the kind of vindictive person that would stalk me to find out where I've gone next to call them and let them know I did not give two weeks and actually quit the same day. I am also paranoid that he would try to sue me for leaving because I run EVERYthing in this company right now. I feel so beat down that I don't even feel like I have the energy to be a good EA right now. I know that's the point with all this gaslighting and demeaning behavior so I just need some help. I am trying not to end up with being sent into a grippy sock vacation but my mental health is definitely veering that way at this point.
(good news is I am on my fourth job and fifth job interview with another company this week)

I recently ended a two month relationship with a man I've only known for three months total. For the first month, things were going smoothly. He took me to fancy dinners, bought me flowers and gifts at random, constantly texted me. We had a genuine connection and he was so easy to talk to and relate to. I was ecstatic when he finally asked me to be his girlfriend.
After about a month and a half though, he constantly started getting frustrated at me over little things. I would tell him that I'm staying up late to clean, and then he'd get upset over the fact that I can stay up late for that, but struggle to stay up late when I'm with him. Or, I'd ask for my alone time one evening because we spent 24/7 together, and he'd be upset because he wanted to spend more time with me. Overall, the fundamental issue was that he wanted to spend more time with me, while I was pushing myself to spend all of my free time with him. I value my alone time and independence, so this was a huge compromise for me.
The worst part was the way he handled his frustration. He would clearly have a mood change, and I would ask if he's frustrated and he'd say nothing's wrong. This would continue for a while, with his frustration growing and growing and my anxiety growing with it, until it finally culminated into a blowup - either he snapped at me or I had a panic attack. This happened every 3-5 days, for around a month. After each incident, we would have a conversation about what happened, but I was constantly confused on what the trigger was, what was bothering him, and what changes we were making to sure that it never happened again.
I finally decided to leave him two weeks ago, because my mental and physical health were suffering from constantly being at the receiving end of his frustration and not knowing what I did wrong. He insists that we've barely begun tackling the problem together, that it's better that these issues came up earlier so that we can solve them together. He thinks that it's too early to end our relationship, and that I'm just leaving because of my anxiety. He thinks that I never gave him a real chance.
On my end, since ending things, I miss him terribly. In between the blowups, he took such good care of me, better than any previous partner ever has. That being said, these past two weeks are the first time that I have had a break from the panic attacks that have plagued me this past month.
I can't help but think that I ended things too early, and that I'm going to regret this decision later down the line. How do I move forward and stop thinking about a decision that I can't change?

My ex fucking flew me out to dump me. I'm serious. She flew me out for two weeks and came back with me for a week and was so sweet and loving, like scalding hot, even giving me a love note talking about our future, how special I am, how no matter the distance she'll always be with me, etc. and gets distant over text and a month later flies me out, ignores me and is rude to me to the point of making me cry and her not caring, made me pry for days and eventually say I'm leaving early for her to finally talk to me, and she fucking dumped me. Oh no wait, she saw me crying in the corner "you flew me out just to break up with me??" and amended it to a "break" with weekly "checkins" (bullshit, just so she didn't have to face me. She didn't even look at me when I was sobbing in the corner from her horrible treatment of me, let alone shed a tear.) for a month. Finally cuddles with me and talks and walks me to the airport and gives me the ONLY kiss when I was there, giving me hope.
And then she dumps me over the phone as soon as possible. I really believed she wanted a month break, not that she was done but didn't want to see what she did to me. I was dumb.
She gave me the whole spiel about how she needs to be alone and focus on herself and her sobriety and all this and how she won't be dating for "a really long time" and that "I hope you know that's not what this is about." Well obviously you guys know what this means, she has a girlfriend within months. 16 months together, 16 months of me taking care of her throughout her addiction during her darkest time, and she's with a new person within a season.
The things she said to me post break up were so awful. Basically she had fucked me up so much mentally and I got emotional and asked her if she cheated in the nicest way possible (she did a lot of weird stuff like hangout with guys from weird apps and drink with them while at uni & her behavior was strange), she flipped out on me, I broke and said stuff like you used me, you never cared about me. She went off on me and told me to never talk to her again.
Well 4 months later I reached out for pictures bc she said she'd keep them in a folder. She goes off on me ("I have long since moved on") and I tell her I don't want to argue. I break to the point of saying "okay I get it I'm a fucking loser, I'm worthless, I already know this. Can you please stop?", she calls me an asshole twice, makes fun of me for a very private and sensitive thing I confided in her, and forgot my deceased mother's name. We got civil and caught up and she said she would talk once a month as planned before an argument.
She makes me wait a whole fucking month thinking I'm going to talk to her just for her to say "I can't talk to my ex while I'm seeing someone teehee sorry hope you're doing swell!". It broke me how quickly she moved on and how I meant nothing to someone I loved unconditionally and thought loved me the same. Also she talked to her ex at one point when I asked her to stop and she didn't so there was that, but her calling me an asshole twice really fucked me off. Another argument, telling her how she hurts people and doesn't care, how she has no remorse or empathy and I mean nothing to her and I could die and she wouldn't care (she didn't refute that), she went off on me calling me a boy and when I told her to stop degrading me she said it again. I said I'd never in a million years call her a bitch and she said something like well if you act like an asshole I'll call you one. Went off on me some more and blocked me.
I'm completely devastated by her. I don't know what to do. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Hey y'all...so this has to be one of the craziest things that's ever happened to me and I really wanted to share it. Buckle up cause it's a long one...sorry in advance lol.
It started in 2019 I (26f but back then 21) met this dude (23m at the time) on kik from the Netherlands, let's call him...butthole. So, me and butthole hit it off, we're vibing, we're flirting, all that shebang.
We decide to date online long distance (cause I still lived in America at the time) so we text every day and we call a lot and it's just sooo nice. He was really sweet and nice to me. Well, August of that year I went on a trip to Ireland and got SA'd while there we'd been dating for 3 months at this point.
Once I got back home I finally worked up the nerve to tell him cause I legit had PTSD from that shit and when I did, he got mad at me. He accused me of cheating...I was like wtf?? So we broke up and went no contact and that was that.
Until
2020 it's lockdown....my diddly dumbass was lonely and bored and decided to text him! Like girl wtf was I thinkin? So I text him and he ends up apologizing for accusing me of cheating. He realized he was wrong and just like that, we went back to vibing and flirting. We're also making low key plans for me to visit him once lockdown is lifted too. After a few days of this I'm thinkin we're gonna get back together. But he says to me "I have something to tell you and you're gonna get mad at me".
And I'm like....ok? I didn't even know what to think like no clue what it could be (cause I'm dumb lol) And he goes "so I'm actually living with a girl who is (and I quote) officially my girlfriend". Oh man I was pissed and really hurt...like that fucking hypocrite!! So he goes on to explain they'd been dating for 2 Y E A R S!!
Anyway, so I'm dumb and was so in love and had no self esteem and thought he was the best I could get so I ask if he wants to leave her. He was like yea but we have a house together and I recently lost my job because of the pandemic so it'd screw us both over if I left now. I should've run right then and there but nooooo.
So I was like "you want to leave her and be with me right? Like, you will right?" And he said yes, I want to be with you, I'll leave if I can, blah blah blah." After a couple weeks of us acting coupley, sexting, sending pics, flirting and shit I woke up one day and realized, he's never gonna leave her for me. Ever. So....I decided I have to find this girl and tell her cause this is bullshit.
Problem is...I know nothing about her and apparently barely anything about him. He wouldn't tell me her name or anything. And he told me back in 2019 that he doesn't have social media (I should've known that was a lie cause who doesn't at least have facebook?) So I have nothing except his first and last name (later I find out he lied about how his last name is spelled and he gave me his nickname instead of his actual first name!...bro is a pathological liar I s2g!)
I tried looking for him on social media (obviously I didn't find him) I would try to ask about her name, but like in a really chill way, obviously he wouldn't tell me. I got desperate and googled Netherlands chat sites, and got on one and legit asked each person if they knew butthole mcbuttface from Rotterdam...I knew it was a long shot but I had to try.
That ended in a flop (well not entirely but I'll get back to that later) So then I get real crafty. I decide that I'm gonna play an adult fun game with him. I ask a question, he answers it truthfully and he gets a "reward". So I made sure to write out all the questions, starting with super innocent ones and I put the really revealing ones later cause I figured he'd be thinking with his other head at that point so he'd answer anything I asked.
We didn't do this over video call, we texted and I sent videos doing the thing (that way I could write down his answers) I did a lot of shit I'm not proud of. But I got the answers I needed. So I went all FBI and I got the specific area he lived from him and I ended up finding roughly where his house is, I was hoping I could find her name somewhere with that but it was a bust.
I tried to use the other answers to find stuff but I got nothing. I then decide to confront him over one of the answers (his brother's name) cause I legit thought he lied, it didn't sound like a name a Dutch person would have. He told me it was the truth. It's a really weird name for someone in the Netherlands so I looked him up on Facebook and I FOUND THAT BITCH!
That's how I realized he gave me the wrong spelling of his last name. So through his brother I found butthole's page and through butthole's page I found her!!! It took me weeks to find her! I was so shooketh! I couldn't believe I actually did it! So I go and look through her profile for a bit and I see that a few days before we played that game he FUCKIN PROPOSED TO HER!!!
I literally screamed when I saw that...I was so pissed and upset that he did that to her..... So I take a shit ton of screenshots and send her a message basically telling her everything. And she responded like "omg thank you for telling me". Like she wasn't upset at me or anything and that made me so sad. We chit chatted a bit and she was telling me all this shit about how she heard he was only with her for her money and blah blah blah...and she asked me for a few more specific screenshots which I gladly sent.
Then she said that she was at work and would confront him when she was home. I was in full support mode and was like I'm here for you and I'm so sorry this happened. And she was in support mode and she said she was sorry it happened to me too. So we exchange numbers and start texting. Later she texted me saying that she was off work and she was almost home and I wished her luck. At that point I texted him saying something like bye bitch good luck and blocked him lol.
So then I waited to hear from her...I check an hour later and saw that she blocked my number....I was so confused. I genuinely wish I could know what he said to her cause y'all...she ended up staying with him and getting married.I saw the pics on Facebook lol but yea....she could do so much better like...idk how this gremlin lookin ass bitch pulled 2 girls cause he's ugly inside and out. Idk if they're still together. I haven't looked in on them since I saw the wedding pics.
So yea, that's my story...but I said I would come back to the chat site not being a complete flop. I met a dude on there and we became friends and he introduced me to a guy who is now my boyfriend of almost 4 years and I ended up moving to the Netherlands to be with him lolol....I'm nowhere near where butthole lives so I'll never run into him but yea thanks for reading!

Sorry it’s my first time on Reddit Me (23M) and my gf (22F have been together for 2 1/2 years. For context, my girlfriend we will call her Amy does a lot of hunting, fishing etc. Amy’s family goes out to the woods every year and does a big fishing event with the whole family. Lots of her family I have not fully met, like her aunt and her cousin who I will call John. Now for the story; I was at Amy’s house and we had a disagreement, we do not argue much but we figured everything out together. This disagreement was about her not wanting to do stuff for me like a back massage or something along those lines. She used the term “manipulation,” to describe how showing I was in pain instead of just asking her for a massage, we discussed it all and she eventually apologized. I was about to leave her house when she asked to come with to my house to stay the night. On the way back she seemed off, I asked her what was wrong and she told me about last Summer when she was at camp. She said that she had been intoxicated and sat in John’s car (her cousin). They talked and overtime he began to pressure her into kissing him, they kissed and she got very uncomfortable and left the car. After that I kept asking her questions about it and the story began to change. First, it was she got out of the car right after it happened, next she froze and didn’t know what to do then left and eventually it ended at her waiting until he fell asleep to leave the car. All of these changes made me insanely suspicious that there was more to this story. I still had her over to stay the night, while here I said I would text John to get his side of the story if something did not align with what Amy told me I told her we would have to to break up because she lied more than once. I asked her what she thought he would say. She replied “ I don’t know how he will see it, it seemed different to him I don’t think he got the message I was uncomfortable very well,” again I had more concerns. If she had made it abundantly clear that what he did was not okay, why did he not leave her alone? I also asked why he was still on all her socials, she answered, “ we are family it would be weird,” I’m sitting in my room completely shaken, I have been with this woman for over two years and we had our ups and downs but I have done everything I can to make her feel as special and treasured as I could. She said she wouldn’t have told me if we couldn’t move passed it and I don’t know what to do.

I (27M) and her (24F) have broken up and it's been more than 5 months now and we were in LDR for 3 years. 3 months before the break up, we went for a trip. We were in LDR and this meet was after 3 months and we both were pretty excited. The place we went was pretty touristic, beaches, aesthetics, vibes, chill etc.
My male friend (27M) lives in the same place where we planned our trip. Me and him know each other since 6 years through same college. At the end of the college we grew closer. He has met my girlfriend once when I made her meet my friends once 2 years ago. Since then they both are familiar with each other, follow each other on social media.
When we started planning the trip, we 3 we're involved in it. We thoroughly planned a 4 day trip, though mostly it was me who planned most of it. I was bearing all my girlfriend's expense as she hasn't started earning yet and still a student.
The trip happened. Throughout the trip, I observed that my girlfriend was hanging out more with him than me, talking more with him than me, was wearing short dresses whenever we 3 were there. I didn't really liked her attitude. According to the plan we were supposed to have drinks on beach side and I love that. But these two said they didn't want to go beach side and we ended up having drinks inside which I didn't really liked. Then the next day, i wanted to do water sports but these two were so drunk that they were not willing to wake up early in the morning. They both firmly said no when I told them we'll go for water sports early in the morning and I was so angry about it, I went to bed angrily. My gf, lying beside me on the bed, asked what's wrong and i sulked. She said are you gonna be okay and I just ignored. She fell asleep. Morning she had woken up early and I was asleep and I found them both talking, having fun conversations and i really felt left out.
My male friend asked her to wake me up and I was so angry about her behaviour I ended up throwing tantrums. And then when I confronted them both about how I badly wanted to do water sports, she told me if I wanted so badly you should have stated that at night so that we could have gone in the morning. After some talks, I let it go.
Then again the next day i found her showing more interest whenever he was involved compared to times when only two of us were there. We two were planning to go somewhere and she was so disinterested but then when I said we'll meet him there, she showed excitement.
Later on once the trip was over, when we talked about it, she told she was finding his vibes good and so she was hanging out more with him and didn't wanted him to make him feel left out by us being lovey dovey couple.
Really? Since when she started caring about his feelings more than mine? Later on she ended up cheating on me by showing interest in some guy in her college and we broke up.
Now am I the asshole for reacting the way I did? Boys, how close is your girlfriend with your guy friends? Do you get insecure or feel left out? I wanna talk about it so that I can have reality check on myself and the situation but we don't talk anymore. even though I can contact her on call, i don't trust her anymore and whatever she says, she'll make it look like she was the right person in all the situations.
So please help me. What do I do if any of my future partners do this again? Feel free to analyse the situation and guide me. Thank you in advance
Some things about my ex: 1. She cheated on me with her ex (basically she went for closure sex and made me believe it was him who tried to force on her the entire time) 2. She wanted an open relationship 3. She went out with a guy once but later dropped because I said I didn't like open relationship 4. I found some shady texts with guys on WhatsApp and snap during the same trip

So me and my bf stopped talking like 2-3 days ago we weren't fully dating but we basically were (we told everyone we were dating) also we're online btw anyway we got into a argument the day we stopped talking I said multiple times that I'm done he said he would miss me and he would give me space I said ok later that day he told me to delete pictures of him and basically remove anything I have of him I was confused but said Ok because it was late and I didn't really wanna get into it we didn't talk for a day or two maybe and then I went on widget able because I was bored and wanted to take care of our pet in the app you can send notes to each other and basically text and I noticed he sent a request to end co-parenting I am unfamiliar with the app so I asked him if there is a way I can get ownership of the pet while ending coparenting I figured he would know and after I asked he said I could keep it and he would just delete the app which was fine I said ok and moved on then after he said he still thinks keeping it is a bad idea I asked why and he said he just doesn't want it around I told him if he deletes the app it won't be "around" he still went back and forth with me and ending the conversation with "k" I never replied at this point I'm still confused to why he's being distant since not even a day before all of this everything was fine (I ask for space often and he never acts likes this) then later on I notice he unfollowed me on Instagram and I see I'm still following him I confront him not in the best way but not in the worst way either I say "remove my follow weirdo" which is not out of the ordinary anytime someone unfollows me and keeps my follow I find it weird and confront them about it or silently unfollow them which tbh is what I should've done this time but I didn't because I was angry and confused and also had a bad day and he replied "I did" we went back and forth on how he didn't I said whatever and left it alone he said "stop contacting me I have a girl" this is where I kinda got pissed off because #1 I said whatever the conversation was DONE #2 I never asked if you had a girl or not #3 HE KEPT REPLYING TO ME JUST STOP REPLYING I said Awesome "I have a bf" this may or may not be true just know I am extremely petty and he knows I regret almost everything I said in this conversation after I said that he replied with k and I said "stop replying 🍆" (I said d*ckhead) then he said something else and deleted it which literally made my blood boil I hate deleting messages especially in a non joking setting I said "what are you deleting messages for 😺" (wasn't actually the cat emoji and I said p*ssy) and he left me on seen which made my blood boil EVEN MORE I often leave him on seen when he's just yapping because it's a lot to reply to also I SAID I REGRET THE WAY I WENT ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION THERE ARE WAYYYY BETTER WAYS I COULD'VE REPLIED OR NOT REPLIED AND I KNOW THAT anyway everything I said he saw and uh here's where it gets really bad and I am going to get a lot of hate for this but you have to realize he has been pushing my buttons and not everything he said here was mentioned he also did other things that he knew would make me mad I said "since we're done fr fr I cheated on you a majority of our relationship" NOW HEAR ME OUT IF SOMEONE SAID THIS TO ME I WOULD LEAVE THEM ON SEEN TOO AND THIS WAS A LIE I HAVE NEVER AND NEVER WILL CHEAT ON ANYONE IT'S GROSS AND JUST SO UNESSARY I said this because we made a contract or deal that we wouldn't talk to anyone else until we get back together officially we both agreed and if we did it is considered being unfaithful and for it to take 2 days actually more like a day and a half for you to find a girlfriend there is no way you stayed loyal also idc about him having a girlfriend I just find it odd and think he is lying he also has a history of lying he lied about have a girlfriend before and cheating on her so yeah that's all I just want to get other people's thoughts on this situation btw from what I know we never broke up or I was done with the relationship I just needed space and I feel like he took it the wrong way but what do you guys think ALSO he has reddit and he's pretty active in this subreddit so if you see this then erm Hi.? OH AND I think I should add this I am not a jealous person like at all I used to encourage him to become friends with girls and he would tell me about girls flirting with him at school to make me jealous or just to get a reaction out of me which never happened because I trusted him and if someone does leave me for someone else then like what am I supposed to do even when I was cheated on in the past it didn't really hurt and I really didn't care

Sorry it’s my first time on Reddit Me (23M) and my gf (22F) have been together for 2 1/2 years. For context, my girlfriend we will call her Amy does a lot of hunting, fishing etc. Amy’s family goes out to the woods every year and does a big fishing event with the whole family. Lots of her family I have not fully met, like her aunt and her cousin who I will call John. Now for the story; I was at Amy’s house and we had a disagreement, we do not argue much but we figured everything out together. This disagreement was about her not wanting to do stuff for me like a back massage or something along those lines. She used the term “manipulation,” to describe how showing I was in pain instead of just asking her for a massage, we discussed it all and she eventually apologized. I was about to leave her house when she asked to come with to my house to stay the night. On the way back she seemed off, I asked her what was wrong and she told me about last Summer when she was at camp. She said that she had been intoxicated and sat in John’s car (her cousin). They talked and overtime he began to pressure her into kissing him, they kissed and she got very uncomfortable and left the car. After that I kept asking her questions about it and the story began to change. First, it was she got out of the car right after it happened, next she froze and didn’t know what to do then left and eventually it ended at her waiting until he fell asleep to leave the car. All of these changes made me insanely suspicious that there was more to this story. I still had her over to stay the night, while here I said I would text John to get his side of the story if something did not align with what Amy told me I told her we would have to to break up because she lied more than once. I asked her what she thought he would say. She replied “ I don’t know how he will see it, it seemed different to him I don’t think he got the message I was uncomfortable very well,” again I had more concerns. If she had made it abundantly clear that what he did was not okay, why did he not leave her alone? I also asked why he was still on all her socials, she answered, “ we are family it would be weird,” I’m sitting in my room completely shaken, I have been with this woman for over two years and we had our ups and downs but I have done everything I can to make her feel as special and treasured as I could. Am I the asshole for thinking maybe I should still break up with her?

Sorry it’s my first time on Reddit Me (23M) and my gf (22F have been together for 2 1/2 years. For context, my girlfriend we will call her Amy does a lot of hunting, fishing etc. Amy’s family goes out to the woods every year and does a big fishing event with the whole family. Lots of her family I have not fully met, like her aunt and her cousin who I will call John. Now for the story; I was at Amy’s house and we had a disagreement, we do not argue much but we figured everything out together. This disagreement was about her not wanting to do stuff for me like a back massage or something along those lines. She used the term “manipulation,” to describe how showing I was in pain instead of just asking her for a massage, we discussed it all and she eventually apologized. I was about to leave her house when she asked to come with to my house to stay the night. On the way back she seemed off, I asked her what was wrong and she told me about last Summer when she was at camp. She said that she had been intoxicated and sat in John’s car (her cousin). They talked and overtime he began to pressure her into kissing him, they kissed and she got very uncomfortable and left the car. After that I kept asking her questions about it and the story began to change. First, it was she got out of the car right after it happened, next she froze and didn’t know what to do then left and eventually it ended at her waiting until he fell asleep to leave the car. All of these changes made me insanely suspicious that there was more to this story. I still had her over to stay the night, while here I said I would text John to get his side of the story if something did not align with what Amy told me I told her we would have to to break up because she lied more than once. I asked her what she thought he would say. She replied “ I don’t know how he will see it, it seemed different to him I don’t think he got the message I was uncomfortable very well,” again I had more concerns. If she had made it abundantly clear that what he did was not okay, why did he not leave her alone? I also asked why he was still on all her socials, she answered, “ we are family it would be weird,” I’m sitting in my room completely shaken, I have been with this woman for over two years and we had our ups and downs but I have done everything I can to make her feel as special and treasured as I could. Am I the asshole for thinking maybe I should still break up with her?

It started out like a fairy tale. I work more than 70 hours a week and my friends forced me to create a dating profile. Barely used the app.
Out of the blue I was planning to uninstall the app when I matched with this girl on bumble barely 3 weeks back, way out of my league (I consider myself a 7.5 or 8 on a good day)
From start the conversation was going pretty great (teasing, dirty talks, personal things etc.)
She completed all my check marks like (cute, smart, educated, respects boundaries, a great career, witty, doesn’t live too far, pahadan (don’t hate me), mutual efforts etc etc.)
We planned our first date within a week but was cancelled as she got dengue due to which our date got pushed by 10 days or so but we didn’t lose touch and talked daily.
Finally when she recovered we planned our date for last Sunday which she postponed due to work to Tuesday then Thursday (I was OK bcoz I’ve been in the same shoes). Finally she started ghosting me - not responding to my texts or calls.
I waited patiently for days and finally wrote a strong worded message today confronting what is happening and I need clarity where is this going.
A few hours later she responded and opened up to me that she was diagnosed with clinical depression a while back and her medication causes her really bad mood swings and whole other side effects. she has assured me that she he’ll be more honest and upfront with me now.
I have so many questions right now….
I really care for her and have some much respect and admiration that she opened up to me but with these developments I think a relationship is out of question for now.
I have never felt the way I have felt with her with anyone else but I’m scared. I don’t want her to be another life lesson in my book of regrets.
I have never faced something like this and honestly don’t know how to tackle this.
Thanks for bearing with me who read the whole thing, I might get a lot of hate for this.

A little disclaimer before I get fully into it: This was my first real, long term relationship so a lot of things still don’t make sense to me, but I will try my best to explain everything clearly and fully.
Me (19M) and my boyfriend (19M) got together in February of 2023. We met through our job, and even before dating we were good friends for about 6 months prior. During this time in my life, I had just turned 18 and was struggling heavily with my self image, self worth, and the idea that a relationship was even a possibility for me. In fact, I would say i was struggling the most with relationships and men in general. When my boyfriend came along it honestly seemed too good to be true. We hit it off instantly, got along very well, and shared a lot of the same morals and values when it came to dating. Except for when it came to sex, but i’ll go more into that later.
For the first few months, I would say the dynamic worked out well between us. Then, he moved out of his parent’s and in with his best friend and her family, which consisted of her mom, dad, and brother. Since the beginning of the relationship, I wasn’t too crazy about his best friend. I do care about her and have empathy for her, but for lack of better words, my boyfriend kind of let her walk all over him. This seemed to get worse after they started living together. And, it became apparent that they did not see eye to eye on most things and wanted different things out of their living situation. She would get jealous anytime we wanted to spend time together alone, and often times would not let us be alone when I was at their house. This eventually was talked about between them and i will say, in the regards of giving us more space, she did back off. However, their living situation was still toxic. They would have disagreements, but ones that would never be talked about or worked through. In turn, my boyfriend would talk/rant to me about her, and I always agreed with his POV, but that was the end of it. He always said that it’s extremely hard for him to confront people due to his own anxieties and past trauma. I 100% understood this, as I struggle a lot with confrontation too, but when it came to the point of his friend putting stress on our relationship/on me and I would talk to him about it, he would say he understood but nothing would ever be done about it. I could’ve very well spoke up for myself against her, but I was terrified that he would be upset with me and it would cause problems for us. I know that’s unhealthy now but in the moment it felt like I just had to get over it.
Then, around OctobeNovember last year, his friend’s mom ended up kicking both her daughter and my boyfriend out over a very small misunderstanding involving transportation. It was one night that I was taking him home from work, and her mom thought she had to pick him up, so we both showed up to get him. She absolutely flipped out over this and used it as justification to kick him out. Then when his friend tried to defend him against her mom, she kicked her out too. She ended up going to live with her current boyfriend and mine came to live with me. At this point, I had moved about 45 minutes away from our hometown with my dad and step family. I was (and still am) working in said hometown, because I do like my job and most importantly the people I work with. My boyfriend could’ve gone back to live with his parents, but honestly, neither of us wanted that. In hindsight, that’s what should have happened.
Up until this past April, everything was okay with our situation. We were living and working together full time and considering he didn’t have a car or his license yet, I was his source of transportation. Something shifted inside of me though. I found myself not being excited about his presence anymore and also not having sexual feelings towards him anymore, which is highly unusual for me. I felt like I had hit a wall that I couldn’t climb over in the relationship. In that moment, I chalked it up to being a “simple” change in feelings and that we were just growing apart. This did not go very well when I told him. I didn’t expect it to, but I know that he wasn’t even trying to fathom how I felt in the situation and ended up being pretty hurtful about it. The first night after it happened, we had a lengthy conversation over text where he was essentially saying that I ruined him and broke him and that I couldn’t possibly have loved him like I said I did since I was doing this. He also said, and I quote, “You built me back up and made me believe I was finally having the life I deserved and then you destroyed me and left me worse than when you found me”. This of course made me feel immense guilt but I knew it was coming from a place of hurt and I didn’t let it weigh me down too much. He also said that I would never find a friend in him and that this was goodbye, and blocked me on all social media and my phone number. Even though I was the one to break up with him, this still hurt a lot because I did and still do very much care about him.
The next day, he reached back out and apologized for how he reacted and asked me if we could try space instead of a full-on break up. I agreed to this because the relationship really did mean everything to me and I genuinely loved him. I did make sure to tell him that I couldn’t make any promises about my feelings returning but that I would try. And I have. Since then, we have still been working together, just not on the same schedule as before, and he is staying with his parents back in our hometown. We still text on the daily because we both made the agreement that we didn’t just want to go back to strangers. We mainly just talk about work and life and what not, but not much has been said about our specific situation on either end. We both agreed that we needed space. We both also agreed to not really see each other outside of work because we both know it would just complicate things even more, especially if we were to still act like a couple and even more especially if we continued a sexual relationship. This brings us to current day.
It has been about a month of space now and although it’s hard to admit to myself, I don’t want to be back with him. After I’ve had time to think everything over, I’ve realized that I may have put up with more than i deserve/disregarded my self and my feelings for him. Sex was honestly not that important to him, but it always has been for me. It’s not all that I care about of course, but I found myself being told no more often than not. I found myself suppressing my true sexual feelings for him in order to comply to what he wanted. I am also the type of person who likes to try new things, and he was almost always opposed to it. For a while I told myself this was the right thing to do in order for us to work out. With all this being said, our sexual relationship was good and we both enjoyed each other in that way, but it was just very inconsistent.
I also now feel like we just started to want different things out of the relationship. We both needed our own personal space which was impossible at the time, considering we lived and worked together on the same schedules and I was his transportation to and from work and also to hang out with friends when he wanted to. We also have conflicting love languages, as mine is primarily physical affection and reassurance while his are more along the lines of quality time, gift giving, and sharing his interests. As far as the love languages go, I knew early on that they were not the same but I thought we had come to a place where they could coexist. I know now that it was starting not work out that way, and I think he felt the same too although I’m not 100% positive as I found it very hard to understand him and his feelings sometimes, as did he with me.
Like I said previously, he struggles with confrontation. Any time I had an issue with something he did that would upset me, it was usually met with silence and a simple apology or “I don’t remember that/That’s not what I meant.” It seemed like he was taking things as a personal attack rather than trying to understand where I was coming from. One specific moment sticks out to me. One night after work, his best friend wanted to see us before we went home, but she got off of work later than us , which meant we would have to wait around for that. I was very tired due to a long busy day and just wanted to go home as did he, but we stayed and waited anyways because he was afraid of her reaction had we not. I did not respond to this well, and I told him straight up that she walks all over him and that I felt he was not considering how I was feeling about the situation either. All i got in response was confused silence and a simple “I’m sorry.” I was not satisfied with this, and after telling him so, he said how he doesn’t know what else to say/doesn’t know how to communicate how he’s feeling. I ended the conversation there because I could see that I was getting nowhere, but I was still very visibly upset. After we left to go back home, he wouldn’t talk to me and just fell asleep on the drive. This caused me to start crying and after he realized and I reiterated my feelings, I was met with a little more compassion and “i’m sorry”s but then the conversation shifted and no more was said about it on either end.
There were also multiple times that I knew that I had upset him over various things, because he would start acting different (short responses, dirty looks, spending more time on his phone etc). But , when I would ask him what I did, he would just say that he’s fine and to not worry about it. For example, on Valentine’s day this year, I made a very inconsiderate joke about his size (even though it wasn’t true). I was trying to be funny and we both knew I wasn’t being serious, but it still was wrong. It did affect him and eventually he opened up to me and we talked about it, and i apologized profusely and all was resolved. But before that, his demeanor and attitude towards me completely changed and he was treating me very differently. Before we talked about it, I was unaware that the joke I had made was the cause of it, but he told me that he was upset about something I had said but told me it was fine and that he’d get over it, while still treating me differently. I didn’t respond to this well because I knew I had hurt the person I loved, and wanted so desperately to resolve it and make sure it never happened again, but until he brought it to light I was stuck in an intense self-hate/guilt trip.
I will say I don’t recall him ever using any of that against me, but communication is extremely important to me and I just wasn’t getting it. It was like , we always were fine together until the more serious issues came about (differences in intimacy desires, communicating our issues with each other , etc.)
It’s worth mentioning that I also struggle with self image/self worth, and a lot of anxiety/uncertainty. I forgot to include it earlier, but another reason the space is happening is because we lost ourselves in the relationship. We still don’t really who we are or what we want from life. I was constantly preoccupied with how he was feeling and how my actions affected him, and he was constantly preoccupied by turning to me for comfort and safety. I don’t blame him for that though, as I know that we have to fully love and know ourselves/know what we want first before making a commitment to someone else. That’s why I struggle so much with knowing if I’m making the right decision or not. I’m also scared that once I tell him, he won’t want anything to do with me anymore similar to how he reacted the first time. I will forever be grateful for the love that we shared and all the good he showed me and would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, but I don’t know if that’s the reality. And if it’s not that’s okay and I know that, but I haven’t accepted it. I just want us both to be happy in life and live to our full potentials even if that means it’s not together. If you made it this far I’m sorry for the novel but thank you for taking the time to read. I may be the asshole here and if that’s the case, I will do better and I will make the right decisions. I just need a little insight. Thank you again for anyone who took the time.

I sat in our dark bedroom, the computer screen glaring with a harsh, white light. A banner flashed before my eyes: “Seek wisdom by understanding yourself.”
“Chloe, check this out,” I called over my shoulder to my girlfriend playing The Sims on her laptop.
She glanced up, her brow furrowing in confusion before giving me a bemused look. “What the hell are you looking at?” she asked.
“It’s some cult,” I replied, unable to hide my fascination. “I fell down a rabbit hole and found this local place downtown. It's a derivative of Aleister Crowley and Golden Dawn bullshit.” I pointed to the Google Street View image of a dilapidated storefront in an ethnic shopping center.
She smirked, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “I never pegged you as the religious type.”
“Check this out,” I continued, clicking through the site. “They have some photos.”
We spent some time going through the albums celebrating various solstices. Most were taken in an odd room with black and white checkered floors, adorned with Egyptian pseudo-artifacts, bathed in the glow of red and purple lights that transformed the scene into a surreal dreamscape.
The people certainly had an alternative vibe. Tattoos were plentiful, but other than that they looked like they came from all different walks of life. Many of them looked like they had their fair share of bullying in high school - no shortage of that. But most of them looked relatively normal aside from the occasional piercing.
One photograph in particular caught my eye. A woman, sitting in a bright red room, sat on an altar, holding a staff in her right hand, wearing nothing. A man was kneeled before her, his arms tied behind him, rope anchored to the ceiling. They were sliding a knife down his back, a small trickle of blood dripping to the floor.
“Damn,” Chloe started. “She’s butt-ass naked.”
“You wanna go?” I asked. “They’re having a get together tonight.”
“You know what, fuck it. Why not? It’s not like we’re doing anything.” she replied.
“Good,” I smiled, standing up. “Because I already ordered an Uber.”
She sighed before opening a drawer and pulling out a small pipe. “I’ll go, but i'm not going sober.”
It was a cold, shitty Seattle winter night. We got dropped off in the parking lot and spent a few minutes looking for the storefront. We finally found it next to a dog groomer and Pho restaurant with some pun for the name I can’t seem to remember.
We entered the shop, which consisted of two narrow isles separated by wood shelves barely big enough for me to fit down. We spent some time looking at the various items, my attention diverting to a vial of elk blood. I remember wondering if they were even allowed to sell this without some type of medical certification they definitely did not have while Chloe shuffled through a bowl of mix and match crystals.
“Can I help you?” I heard a woman say from the back as she emerged from a beaded curtain. She was a short, overweight woman wearing what I could only describe as a sports bra and hula skirt.
“Hi, uh,” I stuttered. “I’m George and this is Chloe. We’re here for the… winter solstice celebration?”
“Oh, goodie! Newcomers!” she said with an out of place, overjoyed expression as she clapped her hands. Chloe and I laughed nervously.
“The door is in the back, but you can come through here just this time.” she said with a smile, arm holding the beaded curtain open.
We walked through a dark hallway, somehow more cramped than the shop, into a rather large room. A gaggle of people were huddled in the back, which Chloe and I quietly shuffled into.
A bearded man paraded around the room, white robes and red headdress cascading into a cloak, knuckles adorned with several large rings gripping a spear, held vertically in front of him. Behind him, another bald man, white robes and yellow cloak, followed behind, white sleeves crossed over his chest.
I glanced at Chloe’s bloodshot eyes, THC clearly flowing through her system. I gave her a knowing look, as if to say Having fun yet? She returned a slow smile.
Without warning, the entire crowd clapped their hands together over their heads as a woman in blue robes walked past, waving a censure leaking white smoke. We awkwardly followed to match the group.
The blue curtains on the back wall opened to reveal an older Asian woman sitting perched on the altar I saw in the photos, again, completely naked. And before you ask, no. She wasn’t attractive. It’s never the ones you hope it is. The red robed man kneeled down and softly kissed her knees.
I glanced back at Chloe. Her smile was so big I was afraid she was going to laugh at any moment. I pinched her on the side and whispered into her ear “Do. Not. Fucking. Laugh”. Honestly, I think I just made it worse. Her face turned beet red as she bit her cheeks.
The ritual went on for another half hour or so. They must’ve said “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law” at least a dozen times.
We were getting kind of bored and were ready to leave before the woman in the blue robes wandered in with a caged chicken.
"No fucking way" I thought. Surely enough, the man in the yellow robes held the chicken high in the air, before slitting its throat and draining blood into a large metallic basin. The man winced as the chicken flailed violently, scratching up his arms, before eventually succumbing to blood loss.
One by one, each person there stood between a white and black pillar saying love and intention in Greek before eating a piece of something, taking a sip of blood, and saying “There is no part of me that is not of the Gods.”
Chloe and I hung back, and politely declined when our turn came. Once all was said and done, they busted out some alcohol and started celebrating. We slipped out into the street, bursting out laughing. After we finally collected ourselves, Chloe whipped out her phone and showed me she took dozens of pictures of the ritual.
We laughed our asses off the entire way home. First thing she did was open her laptop and post the pictures on Twitter, tagging the lodge with the caption “me and the boys chilling right now”.
We returned to the usual rhythm of our lives. I went to work, conducting meetings and answering emails, while Chloe went back to her classes. A few days later, Chloe checked her Twitter and saw that she had gained a few thousand likes. The whole ordeal became a running joke between us.
I would eat fruit snacks and sip on my soda, saying, “There is no part of me that is not of the Gods”. A few weeks later, we had mostly forgotten about it, except for the occasional recounting as a funny story to regale our friends.
One night while Chloe and I were spending our evening the usual way with me on the computer and her on her laptop, I felt her furiously tap my shoulder while staring wide eyed at the window. Confused, I took my headphones off and walked over, pulling back the curtain to reveal 6 people standing in black robes and animal masks watching us from the hillside.
“What do we do, should I call the cops?” Chloe whimpered.
“No, they’re just a bunch of larpers. They’re not going to do shit! Just trying to scare us.” I said angrily as I closed the blinds and hopped back on my computer.
Chloe sat there for a few minutes in a tense pose with her arms folded together. She went to double check the door was locked, before we continued our night as normal.
The next day I got a text from Chloe frantically telling me to come home immediately. When I arrived, there was a squad car parked outside our building. I ran up the stairs to see two officers standing by Chloe in the doorway. I nearly shouted asking what was going on. They lead me inside to show me a massive black symbol drawn on our wall, a six-pointed star made from one continuous line.
We finished our police report and they told us they’d get back to us if they find anything. I’ve been robbed often enough to know that means they’re going to forget about this before they’ve even gotten back into their squad car.
Furious, I stormed over to the shop and banged on the window. The hula skirt woman came over and cracked the door open just enough for me to see one of her eyes.
“What the fuck do you think your little posse is doing!?” I screamed at her. “Breaking into my apartment like that!? You all are fucking psychos!”
“I haven’t any idea what you’re talking about”, she said with a sly grin.
“Oh, yeah?” I said pointing a finger in her face. “If anyone tries any shit like that again I’m going to burn your goddamn shop to the ground, do you hear me?”
She looked at the ground, clearly nervous. I have never blown up at a stranger like this but I could tell my threats were working.
After a moment of silence I stormed off again, back towards home.
“You meddle with forces you do not understand!” she called out from the shop.
I picked up a glass bottle from the sidewalk and chucked it, smashing against her shop window, forcing her to close the door and disappear into the shadows. I’m not particularly proud of how I behaved in this moment, but unless you’ve had someone break into your home and draw shit on the walls, hold on to your judgment.
The next few days passed without so much as a peep from them. Chloe and I began to relax, convincing ourselves that the cult had been scared off. Life seemed to be returning to normal, and the unsettling incident became just another story.

TDLR: Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. We broke up beginning of May. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is nasty etc. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker, he told me to leave them alone. I understand I fucked up and want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had but feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text?
Hello all, This is gonna be long. I really appreciate anyone who takes time to read and help with some words. I have no therapist or friends this seems like the best option.
I have never posted on here but seriously feel torn up. I know that I have been in the wrong in all this but I truly was dealing with a weed addiction till I finally sobered up and realized how fucked I am. This relationship has been a rollercoaster, but something I didn’t want to get off. She showed me many first things and it was my longest relationship of three years. She cared for me when I had no job, to every job, skinny fat, etc and I did the same with her struggles. To make a long story short back in August of 2023 I found my ex texting one of my bestfriends that worked with her at the time(I had quit that spot and found another job). No lust or crazy texts just work laughing but I confronted her about it it was jealousy and she said it was nothing.
After a few weeks come September I kept feeling this jealousy boil over. If she had texted anybody else I wouldn’t have said much but I felt like cause it was MY friend she should have brought up the convo they had even if it was light and funny. I was pestering her about him, she then decided to text him behind my back saying I’m being jealous. They text back and forth and he’s calling me a kid and disrespecting me even though he’s known me for longer, and she was laughing sending him laughing emojis and stuff. He then texted me asking me to fight because somehow she told him I threatened him. I got pissed she ruined a friendship and told her I’m done blocked her on everything. From September to December 2023 I was all alone focused on work and meeting new people. In December I rekindled with a girl I knew no feelings just stupid lust. While talking to the new girl, my ex sends me a heartfelt email since I had blocked her on everything, saying she’s sorry and understands I don’t want to hear from her but wishes me the best. I softened up and began texting her here and there, but still was talking to the new girl.
After a while in Jan/Feb 2024 I met with the girl I had rekindled with and we had done some things. However during this time I started seriously missing my ex and the way I felt comfortable around her. So I was talking to my ex again fully and wanted to make it work again. The problem came when my ex wanted to visit me since she’s long distance. She flew all the way to me and everything was good, till that new girl decided she wasn’t getting my attention anymore and texted my ex lying to her telling her I was begging for her etc. My ex broke down and asked why and I childishly said because of what she had done by texting my bestfriend and that we weren’t together. She cried in my arms and I balled with her cause I truly didn’t want to hurt this girl like this. I offered her to leave me and understood I fucked up. But to my surprise she wanted to stay and asked to fix our trust. I tried my hardest to fix it, I gave her my social passwords, she had my location, everything she wanted she got, even removed all girl friends to gain trust and she removed guys. However after some time around March 2024 I felt like all that I did wasn’t building up that trust again, and I began having flashbacks to trauma where I got left and cheated on within a week. I felt like my ex got back with me to seek revenge. So I started pushing her away scared.
During April she came again to visit me and booked a flight without asking me to pay or anything and genuinely asked to spend every minute of the day with me. I should have taken her coming to see me without me asking as her sign of true love but I ignored it.
Beginning of May 2024 came and our problems began. I started seeing her go out with friends to bars, even to houses I didn’t know and she would take a little longer to respond. I began thinking something is up due to my trauma and started being distant with her. She kept asking me to stop doing this, and cried a few times but I was truly scared of behind hurt and thought by being distant I’m protecting myself. She told me this once and it’s stuck with me “you’re gonna regret doing this”. After that convo she became cold with me too to the point where I didn’t even know who she was anymore. Our final convo was May10. We argued on the phone, and she blamed me for everything, I brought my ex bestfriend and her and how they hurt me she said she had already apologized and I said I did too for cheating but I knew what I did hurt more. She told me to leave her tf alone that I haven’t been the man she needs saying she’s seen better guys treat gfs better etc. That she wants time alone that she wouldn’t go around like I did with girls fucking randoms guys. I blocked her but I genuinely thought we would breakup and get back together as always.
However a week passed and I heard nothing. For some reason I felt like I deserved an apology cause during our arguments I was being more respectful and it felt like she kept saying stuff on purpose to hurt me. I saw she had logged onto my socials and I locked her out and logged out of her accounts cause I felt like it was better. However I was still stalking her Instagram following number and began seeing it go up fast. I started getting guys being suggested to me that follow her and I noticed it was all guys she used to work with and removed for “trust”. I felt broken cause it felt like she did what my first ex with the trauma did , just move on within a week. I felt sad, but the sadness turned to anger. I thought by burning bridges I could move on quicker. And I began blowing her up with calls to no answer, so I switched to texting and said some of the most heinous shit I’ve said to anyone. I then texted her mom telling her her daughter got a new type being childish but nothing too disrespectful to the mom. I texted the dad however and called his daughter names, which he got back at me with a threat and called me childish and that he’s happy his daughter isn’t with someone like me and to lose their numbers. I said lmao cool being even more childish.
I genuinely felt bad the same day I texted the parents this. I felt like bringing them into childish arguments and saying what I said made me look like a true child which I try not to be fast in situations but I was impatient and dumb. I felt like I was the one being stubborn in the relationship and pushed her away, then got upset when she did walk away I just didn’t appreciate her at the end and it hurts my soul I’ve felt this heaviness on my chest ever since like I lost the person for me. I know blaming it on the weed is childish but I feel like it game me that I don’t give a F feeling till it bit me in the ass. I spoke to my only friend and my parents who didn’t even accept the relationship at first due to culture, but they told me I had fucked up and told me with time they will heal, and that in time I can send a message to the parents if I wanted to to get my conscious clear and be able to move on with a better image.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. A part of me says apologize in the hopes of getting this girl back one day which I know is selfish, the bigger part of me just hates the image I left of myself cause I have never left a relationship in this manner

The main events take place in the summer of 2023, but before that there’s some pretty crucial information you need to know.
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.

Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?

My (M21) gf (F25) went on our first date 11 months ago. We were seeing and texting eachother frequently, and around month and a bit later we set on exlusivity. Things seemed perfect, but on month 3 after I was on her phone I saw chats with a FWB she had (who had blocked her but i didnt see what date they last spoke), and other guys she was going on dates with. I broke up with her immediately but ended up with her again in a couple days after she convinced the FWB was from before she met me, and that the dates were because she was still unsure if she shouldve taken me seriously. I chose to forgive and she let me see that she had deleted all of them.
We became official on month 4, and things were nice, arguments here and there but things were good. Skip foward to today, I was going through my gallery I came across old photos she had sent me around month 2 of us dating, where it was visible on her screen that FWB was still talking to her. I connected the dots and pretty much found out that one of her "girlfriends" shed tell me about during our first 2 months, whod frequently be over at her house, was actually the FWB.
Im stuck on if I should break up with her or not as shes 100% changed, and weve grown to be extremely loving to eachother, met her family etc. I dont doubt her loyalty right now, however the fact she was sleeping with another guy during the early stages does hurt. What are your thoughts?
Tldr my foubd out my gf had a fwb on during our first two months of dating