Hey beautiful people,
well how to start off? I'm currently vibing to some music, smoking some tasty hookah and writing this stuff down on my pc. Pretty rainy weather here in Germany.
I'm not looking for anything in special, just let’s see what happens, if we click well. Let’s just see where the journey will go.
You're tired of getting ghosted after just one day talking? Yeah?Well me too. You want to rant and vent about your day? Go for it. You need someone to tell the newest gossip? Damn, I'm your man! You want to talk to someone, who is really interested in your well-being? Finally hit the "message-button"!
Well, I'd say about myself I'm pretty empathetic guy with a good sense of humor and sarcasm (I guess no one who's actually funny, would write this down lol. You should find it out by yourself.)
I can be pretty smart but hella dumb in the same breath. Does that even make sense?
I'm 5'11 tall, am pretty fashionable I guess and rocking a man bun. I'm more of a stocky guy tbh.
My hobbies are pretty boring, I like video games a lot, I enjoy baking and try myself more into cooking! Of course I like to hang out with my friends as well.
I'd say about myself that I'm more into chubby/curvy women, but that doesn't matter if you're not dry in responses. I appreciate any type of women. All of you are beautiful, just the way you are. Keep that always in mind!
You shouldn't be dry in responses, be open-minded and up for someone who can talk very, very much! Even more as I'm on staycation the following week lol.
Do you appreciate my effort and you are ready for a journey? Show me and leave a message with a bit about yourself!

Update: 2nd book solved. Still looking for first one.
I read a book several years ago that remind me of Colin and Penelope's romance but I can't remember the title and another book that reminds me of the Lady Whistledown plot.
I remember the first story being a historical romance about a woman that had an unrequited love for a childhood friend but he leaves for several years to travel and when he returns the female lead avoids him and is upset. The male lead realises he finds her beautiful plus she has lost some weight. Female lead is considered a spinster now.
The second book is about a woman that romances a man she has been writing a gossip rag about and I think she called him Lord or Duke? Bedsin. He finds out and is upset.
Both novels have happy ends with the male and female leads ending up married.
Hopefully, someone here can help me find these books. It's been bothering me since I started watching/reading the Bridgerton series.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRAtricionera posting in TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 2nd February 2024
Update1 - 2nd February 2024
Update2 - 17th May 2024
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My sister slept with my boyfriend and I sent her a really cruel message that I don't regret at all
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My sister slept with my boyfriend and I sent her a really cruel message that I don't regret at all Sorry but this post will have A LOT of bad energy and I'm terrible at writing in English so If anyone is going to read the post, I'm sorry for all the grammatical errors that are likely to be in the post. :P
So a few days ago I (F25) found out that my sister (24f) has been sleeping with my boyfriend (now ex, 25m. We dated for three years) for one year or probably more.
They always had a close relationship but I obviously took it as something innocent, I don't like video games but my sister does so they talked a lot by text and I thought it was about games they like until I found out that no, they talked a lot about their secret dates while I was working and in college, I found pictures, videos and a lot of other disgusting things in the chats between my ex and my sister.
My pathetic sister found pleasure in asking my pathetic ex all the time if she's smarter or prettier than me, she even compared our private parts, wth (We're both pretty, she's actually thinner and prettier than me and even if she's an introvert she has her group of friends so I really don't understand where she got so much venom towards me, our parents never compared us or anything like that and she was always the one asking my ex to compare both of us in the chats.)
The first thing I did was throw all my ex-boyfriend's things out of the apartment, I insulted him in a thousand ways and I kept the PC that I gave him for Christmas.
I didn't speak a single word to my sister for over a week and she didn't contacted me like the coward she is until yesterday when she sent me a message trying to justify herself by saying that it was a mistake (Yes, a mistake that lasted more than a year) and that I should forgive her because we're sisters and blah blah blah at one point I thought "Should I be the mature person in the situation who doesn't let resentment speak for her?" but then I realized that I've never been that kind of person. I took my phone and wrote a long message to my sister that I would love to write here but I am sure that I would break the rules since I called her out in every possible way and I wrote a lot of personal things too, I told her how much of a failure she is and how she has always envied me and that's why she needed to feel what it's like to be me for a second of her sad life.
She sent me a voice massage crying and saying that she's in a very weak moment mentally (but she's still with him, lmao) and I shouldn't make her feel worse and that she regrets it, I just reacted to her message with this emoji 😂 and didn't even heard the long voice message until the end.
Was it a low thing to attack her with all her flaws? Yes, but it's lower to betray your sister and believe that she's going to forgive you just because you share blood with her.
Honestly, I feel really good after sending her that message and feel that it was Therapeutic to take out everything I feel to give closure to that.
Btw I've never used a PC for gaming but I'm looking for tutorials on YouTube about how to download the SIMS.
I helped my sister in every moment of her life, I literally fought for her when she was being bullied during High school, I helped her thousands of times to make friends, I even accompanied her everywhere she wanted, it is a betrayal that really hurts and I will never forgive, never. It hurts me that she slept with someone I loved, but it hurts me a lot all the things I read in those chats, how she enjoyed watching him compare me to her or how she asked him about personal things about our relationship just to laugh at it. She's dead to me and my parents knows it.
I don't even care if I'm a bad person like them, this is something I can't forgive and I don't even feel bad for my reaction.
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Comments
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tsscaramel
At least your ex showed he was a POS before you got married so now you have the opportunity to find someone who actually appreciates you, sounds like an upgrade if you ask me.

OOP: To be honest the relationship was already going bad in some ways (although that doesn't justify what he did) so I don't feel too bad for breaking up, I took out the trash

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MyUsernameIsMehh
Going bad is still never an excuse to cheat. If e had the slightest bit of respect for you as a human being then he would just break up
Good riddance.
People often say "how you lose them is how you got them" so I wouldn't be surprised if she came crying to you one day about him cheating on her
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Ithink-imoverit2405
Good for you. Perpetrator only makes themselves a victim when they wanted to. Please inform your parents of the event to not let her play victim more and throw you under the bus and back the bus to hit you more times.

OOP: Thanks! They already know everything. Neither of them are on her side and they respect that I want to cut off all contact with my sister. My parents are really strict so I think they're going to cut contact with her too but that's their decision, I don't want to get into that and cause problems

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The message - same day
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Thank you for all the nice comments you left me! Many wrote to me with tips for the sims and I'm really grateful, thanks for the game recommendations even though I'm really bad at playing action game, The last action game I played was Resident Evil 4 on the PS2 long time ago and it was because I had a crush with Leon Kennedy (he would never cheat on me btw).
As a token of appreciation (And because I also like it when the op uploads the whole gossip), I will put here half of the message I sent to my sister.
The message I sent her was really long and I cut out the parts where I talk about very private things or when I insulted her to not make the post too uncomfortable because I was really hurt and angry at that moment and I talked about many personal things in the text. I will put the copy of the message in the end if someone talks Spanish. I'm sorry if it sounds weird in English, I did my best to translate it and I had to remove a lot of parts.
"I'm not interested in hearing any of your excuses, I believed you when a problem she had with her ex-friend group happened because I really trusted that you would never do something like that but now I understand why everyone leaves you alone and you deserve it.
What you did to me is a shit and you know it but you didn't care because you spent a year being the whore of ex name without any shame and now that I found out everything you went days without talking to me because you are a coward and on top of that you still don't care about what you did to me, You're only talking to me because Dad probably stopped talking to you and you're running out of money, so you want to fix this shit so he gives you money again.
You were always an asshole but don't you think it's a lot to be my boyfriend's second woman? How little respect do you have for yourself? We're sisters, I don't even know what's going on in your head because I don't understand what's wrong with you. Girl, I read all the messages between you and you even started comparing our bodies, YOU'RE SICK.
You know that I never did anything for you to do this to me and I loved you. But everything turned out really well for you because he's with you so enjoy that feeling and the love you two have for the other for now because you are going to be really lonely later and you are going to go back to your cave but this time I am not going to be there to pity you like every time I did before.
Stay with him, there's nothing that interests me less than fighting for an idiot who is surely going to leave you but let me make it clear to you that you're not going to hear about me again, this dies here, we are not sister's anymore. If I see you on the street then I'm going to cross to the opposite sidewalk to not see you."
"No me interesa escuchar ninguna de tus excusas, yo te creí cuando pasó lo de a problem she had with her ex-friend group porque de verdad confié en que vos nunca harías algo así pero ahora entiendo por qué todos te dejan sola y te lo mereces.
Lo que me hiciste es una cagada y vos lo sabes pero no te importó porque estuviste un año siendo la trola de ex name sin ninguna vergüenza y ahora que me enteré de todo estuviste días sin hablarme porque sos re cagona y encima te sigue sin importar lo que me hiciste, solamente me estás hablando porque papá seguramente te cortó el rostro y te estás quedando sin plata así que querés arreglar tu cagada para que te vuelvan a depositar. Siempre fuiste una pelotuda fracasada pero no te parece un montón rebajarte a ese nivel de ser la segunda de mi novio? Tan poco respeto te tenés a vos misma? Somos hermanas, no sé ni que está pasando por tu cabeza porque posta no entiendo que te pasa. Flaca, leí todos los mensajes entre ustedes y te ponías a comparar nuestros cuerpos, estás re enferma.
Vos sabes que yo nunca te hice nada para que vos me hagas esto y te re quería, igual te salió re bien porque el está con vos así que disfruta por ahora ese amor que se tienen porque después te vas a quedar sola de verdad y vas a volver a tu cueva pero esta vez no voy a estar yo para tenerte lastima como siempre hice antes.
Quédate con el, no hay nada que me interese menos que pelear por un idiota que seguramente te va a dejar pero que te quede claro que de mi no vas a volver a escuchar, acá muere, no somos más hermanas y si te veo en la calle me cruzo de vereda."
Edit: Yes, I'm from Argentina :)
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Update - 3 months later
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They broke up nobody's surprised
When all of this happened my parents scolded my sister and she got offended and didn't speak to our parents except to ask them for money, she asked them for money to buy things for her career but then my aunt told my parents that my sister actually used that money to buy my ex some sneakers.
My parents never gave her any money from that day on, she's an idiot tbh. My parents started to pay for us to go to a private college and the only thing we have to do is literally STUDY, The only thing she had to do was take her studies seriously but she didn't, so my father got tired and hasn't sent her money for months.
My ex discovered the post because he said it went viral in Facebook and obviously he recognized the story, he contacted me to apologize and said he knows he did wrong by hurting me like that but my sister 'manipulated him' and it was a total mistake, I told him he can shove his apologies in the ass. Meanwhile, my sister and I have only crossed paths a few times, but she always avoids me because she thinks I'm going to hit her (I won't). We're not going to the same career so we luckily don't see each other too much
Anyway, a few days ago she went to our parents' house saying that she broke up with my ex (idk why) And that she felt really sad and had an anxiety attack, I don't know exactly what they talked about since I wasn't there but my mother told me that she told my sister that she knew what was going to happen when she slept with him and my sister justified herself by saying that 'They're in love' so my mother and her just argued again and my sister left. Now she doesn't talk to anyone in the family except our grandmother to ask for money, I know my sister is not going to change her bad habits and she didn't learn anything from this, I even think she will get together with my ex again because they're just toxic with each other but it's her life to ruin, not mine and I don't care anymore.
The bright side: I sold the pc to a guy from reddit that saw my post and that really saved me from having to keep paying the dues, unfortunately I didn't get to play The Sims much but I prefer the extra money. My ex had told me that he wanted the pc back but I told him that then he should pay the remaining dues AND HE SAID NO, so the idiot wanted the pc for free even though he slept with my sister. 🥴
The weird side: There are YouTubers who are literally charging their subscribers to read the post or other reddit posts in their podcast, tf, at least give me a share of the profits.
I'm know it's a boring update and probably everyone wanted that the update was my sister begging for forgiveness and my ex suffering but no, they are just two idiots who deserve each other and nothing more happened but even today I received a message asking me for an update, haha.
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Comments
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Driverpicksthetunes
Not even 6 months later they break up, oh yeah clearly it was twuuuuu wuvvvv 😂 glad you sold the PC and dropped the dead weight from your life
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MyUsernameIsMehh

They broke up

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

That was quick lmfao
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Sorry for the longer post, I really needed to vent this. I’ve been keeping this for too long. Im 20y and in my 4th year in a Psychology uni. We’ve been doing obrigatory internships the past semester and more pratical work. I’ve been crying for 3hours and I can’t take it anymore. 

Let me just give you a really sum up context of my social life, so it makes more sense:

 I know I’m a people pleaser. I’ve spent 13 years of my life with a toxic friend who would bully, gossip and manipulate me even to tie her shoes whenever they were untied (like, kneeling down and stuff, like I was a slave). Teachers noticed but never did anything. Then, when I started to realize (14y) really how unhealthy it was, I was in deep depression and isolations, ended up spending 3/2 years in school with no friends. 

When I finally started trying to socialize, in my last year of highschool, BUM PANDEMIC
So I suffered from depression hard in all that time.

 In 2022 forward, I started gaining more friends because of dance classes, then Dungeons and Dragons, then some in Uni…. But I still know that im insecure. I still want to make sure everyone likes me, being the “funny friend”. I don’t feel like I can express how something on a friend is hurting me or making me mad, like I need to keep it to myself. Endure it if I don’t want to fight and be alone. 

THE REASON IM CRYING: Now, in relation to Uni work, I noticed that, since my 4th semester (I’m on the end of the 7th) I’ve been doing 80% at least of almost every assignment. I’m not a diligent student that studies all the time (although I should be), but in the groups assignments I’ve been put on, it seemed everyone doesn’t study enough, even the minimum. Some can’t even write one coherent phrase, and I’m not joking or being too critical, I lost points because of that. So, I’ve been fixing, and doing those assignments practically alone or, at least, doing most and having the position of a lider. Where if I don’t say anything or don’t keep them on their toes, literally nothing will be done.
This week is my birthday, but is also a week with: 2 Exams, 3 articles to make, Internship reports and documents, 2 assignments.
I’ve organized my routine so I could do it all and have time on my birthday to relax a bit. But I noticed how I was organizing as if all these things are made to be done alone, when in fact, all of them (except exams) are group work. I did at least 9/10h of work per day these past 2 days, sending them everything almost like a complete template, where they just needed to put one or two new informations and send… it was overwhelming (and there’s still 3 days of hell in front of me) but I was enduring it

Until, when I lay down to try and sleep for the internship tomorrow that I noticed: No one in the group said that they sent the assignment due to today. I opened the docs and they didn’t even complete it even tho they were discussing the answer the WHOLE AFTERNOON! Saying like “ooh and this is the answe” but no one wrote it on the docs??? 

There was only my part of the answers (90% of them). A group of 8 people, none completed the assignment, none cared to check if anyone sent it, no one did anything. I stayed the whole afternoon doing other 3 articles , as I already did my part (more than enough) on that assignment, and they didn’t even sent it??
I exploded, and now I’ve been crying for hours. I feeel overwhelmed, I feel dumb, afraid, and anxious cause I can repeat the subject because of this. I have so many to express about tommorow, I didn’t need this. I’m not good with fights, 2 people there are closer friends (but that also leave me hanging), I don’t know what to do. I feel horrible.
They didn’t ask me to do everything alone, so I feel like I don’t have the right to “scold” them or say anything, but all the times I trusted them to do things by themselves , it went terribly wrong, like today. We already had problems like this before, but they are all in this same page, me being the only one actually doing something, so I feel also outnumbered.
I hate it. I really don’t know what to do.

My daughter's typically been a very well-behaved, bright child. So this diagnosis was initially quite surprising to me! But I want to share her story to see if the evaluation makes sense? Or how we can move forward from here? Kind of a long post, just a heads-up!
I miscarried a son just a year before I had her (it was a problem with my appendix, so she was born after I had it removed) if that matters at all. She was born with a larger head than all her siblings. I have type I diabetes by the way.
She was a pretty typical child after her birth. She began saying her first words early at 9mo, and walking at 13mo. However, ever since she was just a few months old, she'd been having violent meltdowns at parties and whenever I turn on the vacuum. Crying, screaming, kicking-- and she wouldn't stop until I took her somewhere quiet. She was breastfed, though I can't remember when we stopped.
Other than that, she was a quiet kid who was very focused on her surroundings. She would often get stuck in a sort of trance-- blankly staring and suddenly very still. These were not seizures; she would snap out of it with a small tap on the shoulder.
She usually responded to her name unless she was very focused on something. Otherwise I'd have to say her name a few times or tap her. When I pointed or looked at something, she wouldn't turn her head unless I said "Look!" or something. She also didn't move her face much or show too many emotions. Her reactions were a little slow.
She has trouble following directions without being explicitly told or shown what to do. This wasn't a problem in younger years, but this is a big issue now (lots of trouble doing chores).
She also had issues with empathy occasionally. She had a bad habit of pushing her younger brother. She'd always laugh afterwards.
Fast-forward to starting preschool. She was very well-behaved and quiet, she didn't talk with other kids unless she was asked to. She would strangely move her fingers around in front of her eyes during nap time (she did the same thing at home).
She played with toys the same way each time unless she was told to do differently. Often, she would get really focused on whatever she was doing and start rocking herself unintentionally. She also loved to-do lists-- she made so many of them as a little kid I stopped counting.
She loves certain sounds and will often seek out these noises on her own.
She was fascinated with other people's emotions. In kindergarten, she would bring up sad stories (like her grandmother's death) and intentionally sit alone to evoke sympathy.
She kept this up for years -- starting drama she didn't care about to see how people react, ending friendships for no reason, lying to her friends to seem more interesting. She got herself into trouble in second grade for passing mean notes to a classmate. This is something that makes me doubt her autism diagnosis a little, since these kids are usually very honest. But she IS also diagnosed with ADHD, so maybe her impulsivity and boredom with life caused her to start drama with her classmates? I dunno.
In third grade, she became obsessed with a certain video game. She played it all day, all night. Her screen time was upwards of 12 hours a day sometimes. Her grades began to plummet, and so did her mental health.
COVID happened, and she had a lot of trouble with the transition. She had bad grades and started cutting herself in fourth grade. She stopped after an intervention.
In fifth grade, she was fine. But she would often read in the middle of class since she couldn't focus on lessons. She couldn't go a minute without doing something. She also continued to rock herself and all. She loved listening to stories or gossip though. She still didn't have a lot of friends.
In 6th grade, she got much louder. She often couldn't tell how loud she was being and was very impulsive. She had a lot of friends (but I've talked to their parents and stuff. They said she is strange and somewhat childish, with an odd sense of humor, but generally quite likeable and funny.) She could only really get along with younger kids, since she was (and is) fairly immature.
At the end of 6th grade, she attempted suicide. We sent her to a psychiatric hospital for 10 days and she continued on meds for a few months. It didn't work-- she attempted again on the third day of seventh grade. The psychiatrist who saw her in the ER after her second attempt told me to take her for autism testing since he noticed several symptoms while talking to her.
Then I spoke to her guidance counselor, who gave me a better perspective on her behavior at school. She doesn't make eye contact, she is attached to a small hamster plush she carries around (emotionally distressed and unable to function without it). She often screams in class randomly and makes impulsive decisions to get reactions out of people (slamming the door or writing disrespectfully to teachers). She has issues remembering social norms, unknowingly interrupts people while they are talking and has a lot of trouble focusing in class. She usually covers her ears during fire drills and won't stop until it's over. She also took something from someone's locker and moved it.
Her guidance counselor used to work as an occupational therapist for children with disabilities and strongly recommended taking her to get evaluated. We were referred to a behavioral therapy/health program.
It's also worth noting that she is very aggressive towards her brother. They get into physical fights, and she has given him two black eyes before.
This is what the evaluation looked like: The therapist privately spoke with my daughter for an hour while she discussed her struggles with depression and behavior issues. During this talk, the therapist examined her behavior thoroughly (restless, little eye contact, unusual voice) She was also asked to fill out some forms with some agree/disagree forms. We also spoke to the psychiatrist -- I told him about her history, and he also looked at her behavior. The psychiatrists and therapists all recognized not only autism, but ADHD as well (her brother and sister both have symptoms of ADHD, but I don't have full custody of them so I didn't get them evaluated). Does this evaluation sound right, is this how the process is supposed to go? We didn't get a paper or anything, but they put her in the system to get treated for these three diagnoses (depression, autism, adhd)
Her symptoms have become more clear to me now. She often repeatedly makes meowing sounds or counts to twenty in italian for no reason (maybe a stim, or repeated behavior?) She has poor facial recognition. She has a very good rote memory. Her vocabulary is years ahead of other kids her age. She can't make eye contact, though from therapy she has learned to look at people's noses! She is obsessed with order and structure (autism) but has trouble maintaining it (adhd). She is afraid to do new things when pressured (autism) but eventually comes around, needing something new and more stimulating (adhd). She often flaps her hands as well, when she is frustrated or really happy. She's still bothered by loud noises and sometimes has to leave the classroom to do work.
She still accidentally interrupts people, but has learned a few more respectful ways to respond. Still has hardly any friends and gets along better with children in special education (she's in general ed right now) And she has a strong interest in giraffes (has them hung up all over her wall, a bunch of figures and plushes), the Holocaust (talks about it a lot, reads lots of books about it, watches videos), geography (can name every country, find it on a map, and draw the flag), and geology (collection of 80+ rocks).
One problem is that her depression heavily masks her ADHD. We recently moved (the transition was initially hard for her, but she was very curious and interested in the new place, probably adhd boredom?) and her behavior issues have disappeared since she isn't as happy with life as it is (so not as energetic or hyper). But I know that once she gets all cheerful and giddy, she will act up again. She has no ADHD medicine yet.
So yeah. Does her diagnosis sound right? Is this how the evaluation process usually goes? How should we proceed from here?

I’ve been considered “inactive” for 21 years (since I was 18), and would like to officially DA myself. However, I’m not entirely sure how to go about it…
When I write my letter, do I absolutely have to give an explanation? Personally, I don’t want to get into the details because I know this will be passed onto my ultra PIMI parents, who I have gone no contact with, so I don’t want them to know because it’s none of their business. Plus they love to gossip, so the less info the better. They can come up with their own theories for all I care.
Also, if I don’t include an explanation, does this mean whomever is going over my letter, can decide to not DA me?
And last, when I am ready to send my letter, do I mail it to my parents KH? Or can I send an email to someone I know is at least a MS at their KH, who can then pass it onto an elder? (A couple years ago, my mom forwarded me their KH zoom info, and this persons email address was included.)

Heartfelt thanks to Vlada for her wonderful characters and for her willingness to share insanely interesting answers with her readers.
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Dario
Q: Dario, what was your favorite fairy tale as a child and why? And perhaps you still do?
A: Fairy tales have too much chaos for my taste. But I've always loved instructive tales. In seminary, I even wrote an essay on “King Thrushbeard” by the Brothers Grimm.
Q: What admonition do you most often give to those who come to you for confession?
A: The secret of confession doesn't allow me to talk about it, and besides, everything is very individualized. *Grins faintly* But if you are eager to know the answer, come to the temple, and I will be glad to listen to you.
Q: Which of the seven deadly sins do you consider the most serious and why?
A: Sin is a sin that is equally afflicting to the immortal soul. This is what any priest will answer you. As for my personal opinion, pride is the queen of sins. For those who consider themselves superior to others, although by the will of the Primordial One we are all equal, are going against His plan.
Q: How do you manage to look so luxurious at 45 years old?
A: *Laughs quietly* Thank you for the compliment.
Q: Did you become a priest because of sincere faith or because of ambition and a thirst for power?
A: I became a priest because I had no other choice. Everything turned out well, because I have never regretted my calling. *Looks away* And I hope I don’t regret it.
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Richard
Q: Tell us about your hobby. What do you like to do in your spare time?
A: I don't have much free time. But, if such moments arise, I prefer to spend them in my office with a book and wine.
Q: Do you have any other favorite authors besides Thomas Hardy? Perhaps there are certain preferences specifically in English literature?
A: I value depth in literature. But not darkness. For example, I don’t always like Dickens, and not all of Hardy’s works. I love “Far from the Madding Crowd,” the tabula rasa theme of Kipling and the Russian authors. I recently read “The Name of the Rose” by Eco, and also found this work interesting.
Q: Since what age have you lived in Venice?
A: For a long time. *Purses his lips, clearly not wanting to answer further*
Q: What qualities are the most important for an inquisitor of the Order of the Primordial?
A: Logic, attentiveness, physical strength. Loyalty to Him, of course.
Q: Has there ever been love in your life?
A: I don't think so.
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Raven
Q: What knowledge about life would you like to pass on to young leaders from your past years?
A: From the heights of my years, I realized that no one needs other people’s knowledge, and everything is much better understood from one’s own experience, no matter how bitter it may be.
Q: In such a long life you have seen different things. What is it like to watch from the sidelines the fall of empires and the disappearance of civilizations?
A: How many people today know about my age. *Bows his head, almost sarcastically* I’ll satisfy your curiosity. When you talk about the fall of an empire, you probably imagine epic battles or legendary deeds. I saw the other side. Take, for example, the Hundred Years' War. How many ballads have been written about the great Battle of Agincourt! About the brave English archers who defeated the outnumbered French. But do you know what I remember about this battle? I remember a barn where a chicken was killed by a poorly aimed arrow.
Q: You must be amazing at speaking many (if not all, including dead languages) of the world. Don't they get mixed up in your head? Which language was harder to learn and which one was easier?
A: Believe me, I've had time to “put my knowledge on the shelves”. Germanic languages are easy for me. Eastern languages are the worst.
Q: The mask undoubtedly restrains you in expressing emotions, although readers have noticed that you express emotions through gestures. Did it take a long time to learn and what were the first steps?
A: *Nods so that you immediately realize he's smiling* It's a matter of practice. I like to make a certain impression, and through trial and error I learned to do it without a face.
Q: From your profile we know that you are inspired by shipbuilding. How do you feel when you see your ship?
A: Freedom. Ships remind me of freedom. And how one storm can end everything.
___
Nikolai
Q: Nikolai, what was your first impression of Lady Crow?
A: *Smiles seductively* I found Madam Crowe a very attractive and interesting person, who has the same devilishness that is not alien to me.
Q: A girl with what character traits would you consider a perfect match for you?
A: In love, as in the sea, nothing is perfect. The more difficulties and discrepancies - the more feelings and sweetness of victories.
Q: Do you spend a long time at sea as a privateer?
A: As much as possible.
Q: After what incident did you gain a reputation as a ladies' man?
A: *Curls eyebrow* Accident? More like cases. Ladies of the world have always been partial to captains.
Q: Please tell us about your most exciting trip to sea.
A: The most memorable was the expedition in the Sea of Okhotsk. Our detachment (and the ships were divided into detachments) was to reach the coast of Japan. I will spare you the less important details, the most interesting thing began when we approached the La Perouse Strait. It was night, the sea was shrouded in fog.
In the silence, a watchman shouted, “Man overboard!” And indeed, there was a woman in the water. Only she was not swimming, but walking on the waves. She had long black hair and very pale skin.
I wanted to drop anchor and offer help, but I was stopped by a young man named Nobuyuki, who was the ship's cook at the time. He was from Dejima Island. Nobuyuki said: “Raise the sails, captain! I'd rather hit the rocks in the night than face the Iso-onna!”
When I looked out to sea again, the woman was gone. We never hoisted the sails - it was too risky to sail at speed in the fog. “Cover yourself for the night with the garments you're going to wear tomorrow! And order the crew to do the same! - Nobuyuki pleaded with me. - Iso-onna will drink the blood of those who are not bound for a future day...”
The young man was too frightened to say more. Not fully understanding the reasons, I still followed his advice.
In the morning, the whole crew was fine except for one sailor who flatly refused to use a clean shirt as a blanket. His bloodless body was found in the hold.
___
Adrian
Q: Where did you get such love for poetry?
A: From the storm and warmth that are born in the heart when words are woven into art.
Q: What is your favorite Shakespeare sonnet?
A: You will be sad when the poet dies, Until the ringing of the nearest church, Will not announce that this low light, I traded for the lower world of worms.
It’s a bit gloomy, I understand, but the words of a genius can turn even the world of worms into a dream. *Smiles radiantly* Don’t frown, it’s not serious. I love a lot of sonnets, this is just the first one that came to mind.
Q: You sow the seeds of culture among the common people. Have you ever received feedback from them that let you know that your efforts were not in vain?
A: I too am a common man. So who better than me to know that culture does not depend on status? It's only the desire and opportunity that matters.
Q: What is your favorite constellation?
A: One remarkable Russian poet wrote: Why are you unhappy? Will people tell me? — That makes me unhappy. Good people are like the stars and the sky - Stars and sky! - and I’m a man!.. All stars are beautiful; it is simply impossible to choose just one cluster of light.
Q: What was your first poem about?
A: About my mother's apron, on which I spilled my father's tincture.
___
Giovanni
Q: How did your fascination with alchemy begin? Why this and not some other direction?
A: Hmm... That's an interesting question, thank you. Alchemy was close to my mamma, I guess that love was passed down from her.
Q: Are you frightened by the specific images lurking in the darkness, or is it the unknown and not knowing what might be lurking there?
A: There is nothing in the darkness but my own thoughts. And I don't like to be alone with them.
Q: Were you happy when your father the Doge officially recognized you as his son and took you to a luxurious palace?
A: *Smiles: politely and a little stiffly* I'd rather leave that question unanswered.
Q: How do you know so much about the underground crypts at the Academy of Magic?
A: How much? No more than all those in the know who have read a guide to the Academy or a couple of historical books about magic.
Q: Could you forgive betrayal?
A: Like any Italian, I would forgive cheating by serving a glass of poison to the one who ruined happiness. *Laughs* I'm kidding! Actually, I haven't been cheated on yet, but if the day comes, I hope I'll behave with dignity. I'll be able to listen, try to understand, and make an informed decision.
___
Alexander Crow
Q: If you had the ability to turn back time, would you change anything in your life?
A: That's a personal thing.
Q: Do you love your daughter?
A: Yes.
Q: What do you think is the most important thing about magic?
A: Knowledge.
Q: What is more important: the result or the path to it?
A: The result.
___
Lucretia
Q: What qualities in people attract you, and what qualities repel you?
A: I am deeply indifferent to other people's manifestations of character. What is repulsive today may be useful tomorrow.
Q: Do you enjoy conducting the Naming Ceremony?
A: Quite a bit.
Q: This next question is probably not the right one, but it is important for the for admirers of the Supreme Witcher Raven to know whether he often gossips with you?
A: Gossip? I didn't know that's what they call friendship these days.
___
Batsheba
Q: Can you tell us about the most interesting ritual in which you have ever participated?
A: In the days of my youth, my sisters and I used to celebrate Man Gevri by dancing naked in the stone circle of Kallanish... *coughs* Ah, those were the days!
Q: Will you reveal your age to us?
A: How quick! A woman's age is her secret.
Q: How do you know the ancient rites of the leaders?
A: Thou! What have the knowers got to do with it? The rituals I know belong to nature.
Q: I would like to know something very funny from the childhood of our Crows (something that is usually embarrassing to talk about, and if they do, it is usually accompanied by a loud “MAM!”)
A: *Giggles* There is such a thing, how could there not be! But I won't tell you about it, I don't want any of the grooms-to-be to find out that Esther can't even boil the simplest broth.
___
Familiar
Q: Will you accept Esther’s man if her choice turns out to be very controversial?
A: *You ask a question to the empty space where you were told the familiar should be, but there is no answer*
Q: What do you do while your witch sleeps? Do you see her dreams?
A: *A sound resembling snoring comes from the void*.
___
Esther
Q: Would you mind sharing your favorite authors and works with us?
A: As the Triad sees it, there are too many! I'm sure a lot of what you've read I've enjoyed as well.
Q: Do you have a favorite perfume? And if not, what perfume would you like?
A: There is no favorite... I have yet to find my fragrance. Perhaps you can recommend one?
Q: Can I know the topic of your dissertation and at what stage of writing is it now?
A: The topic of my dissertation is “Natural curses in mass grave sites and how to deal with them”. I've got the last couple chapters left to write. It's about the Yorkshire moors. But I'm not sure I'll be able to get back to that work anytime soon... The memories of what I learned there are too fresh.
Q: You often turn to folklore to find answers. This seems like a rather unconventional approach (especially for a witch scientist). What was the reason for such an unusual resource for finding answers?
A: Folklore is just like history, only it takes more effort to find the truth. The study of folklore is no less scientific than archaeology.
Q: How would you describe your ideal date?
A: Oh... *Blushes* Perhaps someday I will be able to answer this question. After all, something like that needs to be experienced.

“Get up.”
“What?” Everything was blurring together in a mix of reality and dreams.
She wasn’t having it. “Get up.”
The candle was crying. The wax slipped down the sides and melted into a puddle on the tray. I cracked my crusty eyes open, to be greeted with shadow and flame, black and orange. Everything we owned was overturned and thrown to the floor. It looked like someone had slipped in and taken off with all our valuables.
My heart leapt to my throat. I hoped we weren’t robbed. But in this part of town, anything could happen.
“Get up.”
Her voice was hard, like cold steel. It terrified me. I had never seen her this resolute, this determined. I was used to her crying in the corner when I came home from school or work, or staring at the walls until she fell asleep. She might be my mother, but ever since my dad left she was nothing more than a lost child, waiting for someone to throw their arms around her and tell her everything would be okay.
When I still did not move she resorted to yanking me out of bed and dragging me out of the door. Fabi was already in the car. His glasses were slipping down his nose and his knees were tight against his chest.
My mum got into the driver’s seat. The door slammed. The car took off like a rocket ship, weaving through the streets. Fabi held his gameboy close to his chest and closed his eyes.
I didn’t. I couldn’t. This was a high speed roller coaster of death. My protests were drowned out by the roar of the engine. My mum was laughing. Maniacally. My stomach curled. She was never like this.
She twisted the steering wheel and the car swerved to the left. It burst through the gates of the local park and careered down the slippery slope. Ducks and geese screamed as they got out of the way. The wheels tore through the grass, leaving them burning.
The water greeted us, cold and hungry. I twisted behind me to see the tree branches waving goodbye.
Then this time I closed my eyes.
“It’s a miracle you kids are alive.”
Those words haunted me forever since the moment they were spoken. To say the hospital staff were astonished would be an understatement. They looked at us like God had reached down on us and resurrected us personally with his holy touch. Jaws dropped, face pale, head shaking, scurrying out of the room at a loss of words…yeah I’d seen it all.
Now a few months later, we found ourselves in a hearse travelling out of town. Apparently while we were in hospital there was a bit of a fight on who was to look after us. Dad left us when I was little and before Fabi was born. And Mum, well, the last time I saw her was in a car heading towards her watery grave. They did not let us attend her funeral. Did not let us say goodbye.
She had disappeared from our lives like a careless whisper in the wind.
From what I heard through the grapevine, or from the gossip of the nurses as they scuttled throughout the hospital, whispering through their hands when they thought we weren’t listening, an old great-uncle from our dad’s side had agreed to take us in. He had already covered all of our hospital expenses. We had no say in the matter.
His butler met us when we were discharged from the hospital and he looked like he just stepped out of a black and white photograph. Everything about him was gray, from the colour of his skin to the freshly-pressed suit he was wearing to the intense stare of his eyes.
He towered not just over us kids but the nurse who escorted us out of the hospital, but his shoulders were broad and he was as stocky as a tree trunk. His hair was neatly trimmed too, exactly the same length, like he had drawn a razor horizontally through his hair and left it at that.
The butler packed us in his long and black sausage car and shot off towards our new home.
It had been several hours on the road now and I sensed we were reaching our destination. Fabi had long fallen asleep on my shoulder, holding his broken and waterlogged Gameboy close to his chest. I heard a crack of thunder and peered outside. The sky was crying; the rain was coming down in droves and hammering on the car windows.
“We’re here,” said the butler. It was the first thing he said all day.
I peered out of the window at our new home.
It was an ugly stone and mortar building, squatting on a hill like a king on his throne, leering down at us and a small hamlet down below. I heard the roar of thunder then a great spike of lightning arched down from above and struck the stonework by the tip, revealing that it was completely drenched in black paint, not a single spot of colour to be seen. Gargolyes were scattered around the tips of towers and trees devoid of leaves, upright on their posts. Their beady eyes followed us as we grew nearer. The black iron gates swung open with a creak.
We made our way up a windy path and through a small garden. Every blade of grass was cut to exactly the same length; every flower placed strategically through the green like a landmine. Here I saw more statues, lining the cobblestone road. Like the gargolyes before them they did not seem to welcome our presence, almost leering at us as we made our way up to the stone house.
The butler parked the car in an iron-clad garage and escorted us to the dining room. We did not have any luggage with us. Apart from Fabi’s Gameboy, all of our belongings were lost in our old life.
“Welcome!”
Our new guardian wheeled around the hall and towards us with a smile on his face, although smile was too kind a word. It was more a grimace, his face muscles being forced to contort upwards. He was completely bald, save a wisp of gray hair flapping on each side, and a hooked, beak-like nose, like a vulture, eagle or some other bird of prey.
“Come,” he said next, after we told him our names. “Let us have dinner.”
It wasn’t an invitation. It was a command.
The butler escorted us down the hallway to the dining hall. Everything was red, from the walls to the carpet to the crimson chandelier swinging slowly above our heads. The candles were lit up, the flame floating slowly above the wick, burning bright like lost souls ready to be collected.
Our great-uncle seated himself at the head of the table and invited Fabi to sit next to him on the left and me on the right. Then the food came: roasted chicken crispy and brown and fresh from the oven, salads that look like evergreen forests, mashed potatoes that seemed to just melt in your mouth.
Throughout the meal my great-uncle seemed only interested in Fabi, engaging him in conversation. I saw beads of sweat drip down his face as he answered questions about philosophy and etiquette, his fingers rubbing his sleeves. He also seemed to push more and more food–especially the chicken– towards him until he was full and complained he couldn’t eat any longer.
My plate looked empty next to his.
“Please,” I said timidly. “Can I have some more?”
He twisted back violently, those beady eyes honing into mine. Fabi pretended to be interested in his food. I shrank back in my chair, my blood rushing into my ears.
“No,” he snapped. His beak wagged at me in disgust.
“Girls like you,” he added sourly. Fabi pushed his chair away from the table. His eyes shifted to the glaring moose above my head.
“Should be seen and not heard. Lucius, take her to bed.”
My great uncle gave me one final look of disgust and resumed talking to Fabi like nothing had happened.
I stared at him in shock, my cheeks burning with shame, my eyes boring into his head and wishing
Lucius shoved me out of the dining hall and slammed the heavy door behind him.
My great uncle seemed to have no idea what electricity was. Or even a concept of brightness or light for that matter.
The shadows are flying around like little mites, peeking behind corners and wrapping themselves around flickering candle-lights. I could barely see where I was going if not for Lucius guiding me
Author's Note
This is the last NS I have attempted before just giving up entirely. It is a gothic+psychological horror NS, about two orphaned children (both named after chess players, Elizabeth 'Beth' Harmon from Queen's Gambit for the sister and real world GM superstar Fabiano Caruana for the brother) sent to live with their great-uncle who lives in a large castle
The great-uncle is sexist, clearly preferring Fabi over Beth, and clashes with the latter because of Beth's naturally independent nature. He also believes that Beth should be in the kitchen and know her place to men. But Beth, strong-headed and stubborn thinks he is being ridiculous. The tensions rise until Beth accidentally or intentionally poisons her uncle, killing him, and the rest of the story deals with the children dealing with their grief (and Beth additionally from her guilt) as the uncle rises from the dead and haunts the castle as a ghost.
I remember really trying with this one, really desperate to put something out on NoSleep. By that time Burton's nightmare school story was 2 months old. Ish. But I found myself losing interest in this and even writing altogether as my brain yearned for something new to do. It is only recently that I slowly came out of burnout and found my love for writing again. Especially horror. Always held a special place in my heart.

I have accompanied the discussions and opinions about Season 3 Part 1 here on reddit and elsewhere. I have seen two ‘camps’ form: one that complains for example of Colin acting out of character, etc.; and one that largely is satisfied and is accusing others of lacking media literacy.
What I’m here to defend is that both of these camps are right.
How? It amounts to this: intention vs execution.
The second, positive, camp is focusing on the show’s intention with these plots. And they’re not wrong. I do believe the little tidbits we have in the show, clearly intend to demonstrate this new Colin is out of character on purpose and that we’re not supposed to swoon over him. He was lost without Pen’s letters, and he tries now to fit in with a certain image of masculinity.
What I’m going to argue is that intention has not been executed in a satisfactory matter. And that’s why the first ‘camp’ is “missing the point”. I think the reason for unsatisfactory execution of Colin’s character arc are several: overall the lack of screentime dedicated to the leads, the lack of his interiority (I’m not asking the show to display his thoughts on screen, but the glimpses we see are far too short).
For example, the first brothel scene would be more efficient if we could see Colin display his pleasure but also the aftermath: a sense of emptiness. (even a shot of him conversing with his “friends” like them being surprised at his presence like “I see you are a real man now, Bridgerton”)
We cut away from scenes too fast, not allowing anything to linger. I think the editing has greatly harmed the show’s sense of pacing. (I don’t know if this is due to the change of showrunners or if Netflix is putting some weird pressure on the production.)
This means Luke Newton has very little to play off of, meaning we see accusations of him being a poor actor, which I don’t think true. (I also think his styling makes him look off, the makeup and everything)
The people unhappy with Colin’s character arc are not necessarily missing the point or lacking in media literacy. I am perfectly aware, now, of the show’s intentions with Colin. I still however dislike the way these intentions were put to screen.
Other complaints, like the lack of Polin chemistry – that also get rebuked by the second camp, I think amount to the same problem of intention vs execution. I do believe the actors have excellent chemistry (hello, carriage scene). However, the point of a romance is to see the 2 romantic leads interact. The plot of ‘charm lessons’ could have been an incredibly cute and charming (pardon the repetition) thing and we do see it play out in a very tender way when Pen compliments Colin’s eyes. But we could have had so much more! I think the focus on the ‘scandal’ of the ton discovering Colin was helping Pen really harmed the plotline.
I think it would be very funny to see Colin give more specific lessons to Pen, and then seeing her apply those teachings right in front of his eyes. Then, Pen herself could raise the matter of discomfort (“the lessons are working, but I don’t like putting on a mask and pretending to be someone I am not” or “Do you believe my real self isn’t charming enough?”) and Colin quickly being like “No, of course not, I think you’re extremely witty—” and she being like “Well I thought your old self was good enough too. And yet you changed.” (SORRY I know I am writing fanfiction).) And he’s like *stunned* and says “Just be yourself then” (that convo already happens in the show) and then she goes, is herself with Debling and Debling likes her for who she is, making Colin realize it’s no longer just him seeing Penelope. That makes Colin feel even more confused. Like, just imagine Colin opening up and saying “I feel like no one took me seriously before” and Pen being like “I always did”. Or even Colin saying “I fear what Lady Whistledown said was true”.
The matter of the letters and his writing in the diary – I think this could be a bigger point, the point of Colin enjoying to write (like Pen does). Or even some hint at him being flustered she read that particular passage. “You’re my friend, Pen, but you’re still a lady, and a lady shouldn’t be reading those things”. That could be a catalyst, from the S2 “I’ve sworn off women. But you do not count.” To like oh shit wait Pen is indeed a woman and she read my sex scenes on the diary! She could even quip back in some manner like “I might be a wallflower but I’m not that clueless.” Or since she’s the gossip queen she might even know Colin has become recent assiduous visitor of the brothel. “I know what you are up to”, and him being like “????”. Penelope compliments his writing but that goes nowhere, I want more of a point about him enjoying writing. Pen could say “Then maybe you did find your purpose” or something of the sorts.
Again, I’m just a bored amateur writer spitballing some stuff.
Conclusions: Colin’s character arc in itself is not a bad concept, it’s not a bad intention. But the road to hell…, you know the drill.
The fact that people had to write academic essays just to figure out what the writers’ intentions were just shows to me they were not executed in the best manner.
But again, this is my opinion and I would love to continue the discussion in the comments.
Edit: Can't believe I forgot to mention this. Lack of flashbacks of Polin! I'll quote myself:

Anthony had his tragic backstory flashbacks with the death of his father, and him having to take over as viscount so young. tragedy is not the only thing deserving of flashbacks. I should have included this in my post but we needed flashbacks of them as kids, (or put pen in the yellow dress and make scenes occurring in the previous seasons timelines that we haven't seen before). Even in that moment where he flashbacks to Pen why didn't he flashback to a montage of *all their moments* since season 1? The fact he only thought about her healing his hand makes it seem they only shared like 1 moment.

And why didn't we get to see their meet cute play out on screen? C'mon netflix

Wrote this last night in bed. I wrote wherever my mind was at, so I'm not sure if it'll all make sense.
Hello, it's currently 0157 as I'm writing this. I cannot sleep. I don't even know where to begin. Do you ever get that feeling of loneliness even when you're with someone? Or a feeling of emptiness because you don't understand why you are the unlucky one to suffer socially. I feel both.
I feel like God hates me... Why did he make me unlikeable, undesirable, uninteresting, unapproachable? I'm 22 and I don't have any friends, none of my family seem to wanna be around me, and people seem to find me boring.
I find it hard to talk about childhood when all I remember is being bullied from Kindergarten, playing alone during recess and lunch, spending weekends and after school hours playing Mario Kart alone. Nothing else I can remember. No matter how hard I try. I ended up getting fat around grade 5. I switched schools for grade 6 and 7, I was excited, finally... a fresh start... I was bullied there too, locked in the storage room of our classrooms, laughed at when I talk, cry, or do anything. I moved schools again for grade 8. Another fresh start yay! I was bullied there too.. for the way I walked, talked, acted, was told to kill myself a lot, was told no one likes you a lot. I felt invisible but also so visible and vulnerable. It seemed like no one wanted to be my friend. A girl in class started picking on me all day, every day. It got so bad that no one wanted to be around me. In grade 8, I don't remember when exactly, marks my first suicide attempt. I remember grabbing the extension cord cable and wrapping it tightly around my neck. I eventually bitched out. I went to bed crying that I had school the next morning. I had one goal though and it was to graduate high school. A group of girls in my class decided they wanted to be my friend. I used to buy them snacks all the time, hang out with them all the time in school, we'd gossip, chat, and what not. Life seemed bearable for a while. I made another group of friends too cause why not. I remember always just sitting at their table listening to their conversations, not being spoken to, not being acknowledged, being ignored when I said something, but hey, at least they let me sat with them. Group 1 was still a good group though, I'd hang out with them in class a lot too. I was content with myself. Grade 11 soon rolled in. Great, all I have is this and grade 12 then I can graduate, yay. Some of my friends in group 1 dropped out after grade 10 but I still hung out with the others.
One day randomly, one the girls in group 1 started picking on me then soon after the rest did. They didn't wanna sit with me anymore, talk to me anymore, acknowledge me anymore, nothing. I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart, but I had to suck it up, I was gonna graduate soon anyway and I'd finally be outta this dump. I tried... I really tried, I was meant to graduate but I couldn't do it anymore. I only had 1 year left. My old friends were making my life feel so miserable to the point I had tried to kill myself. This was my second occasion of such act. I left high school without warning, without a trace, without a word to anyone and soon after I was forgotten; no one asked about me, no one wondered where I was no one cared. I went straight to working, my life soon became just working and home and nothing else. Nothing about life to enjoy, no one to enjoy life with, I wasn't good company for anyone nor myself. Soon this became my life. I've become so used to my new life that I stopped feeling the need for friends. I just shut everyone out of my life. It was just me now, me in the future, and me in my grave. No one will ever be there for you. Many, many years have passed and I was getting so good at saving my money that I became dissatisfied with the idea of ever leaving my house if it wasn't to go to work. Money is my friend now. The girl who had picked on me in grade 8 apologised to me. I don't forgive her, but I stupidly said "it's ok". She ruined all my chances at making lasting friendships, lasting memories.
The year is 2022, life was feeling bearable for a while before that. I had built my first ever PC, that was fun. One of my cousins helped me pick parts and took me to the shop. I set it up and I was in love. I let my cousin borrow my PC on occasion too! I started going to the gym so I can start building muscle and losing fat, it was going great, life was feeling great. One day my older sister invited me over to her house and said she needed to tell me something. I had a bad feeling about it, but I still went. I was met with my sister and another cousin. Little did I know that this very moment was going to change my life around and destroy all the trust and love I've ever had in my family. My cousin snooped through my chats on my socials and noticed that I'm into guys. He felt worried that I was sick, needed guidance by God, was mentally ill. He told me sister and other cousin about this. At her house I was met with fits of rage, crying, death threats. She said she'd be happy to rot in jail for the rest of her life if killing me meant doing justice for God. She became a hawk over me, over my life, over who I talk to, over where I go. I'm not financially stable enough to support myself, I couldn't resist their wrath, I had to obey so I didn't get her to get our dad to kick me out. She took me to therapy to help cure me though. The therapist helped me instead. He said we could call the cops and put an end to her wrath. I did that. I filed for s restraining order, got her to send back my savings. But the police were coming to the house now, shit. My parents have no idea what's happening. Quickly I explained to them what happened. The police came and my dad was confused, my mum fainted, my other cousin was ashamed of me. This will forever be the worst night of my life. Historically sobbing, loathing, and feeling completely helpless. I lay in my bed for the last time, staring at the ceiling, then looking over to my bedside table to see a bottle of my prescription depresso meds. I took the whole bottle and went to sleep, arms crossed that I didn't wake up the next day or ever again. I woke up... family all in my room. My dad gave me an ultimatum. Either I change what I was born as and live a lie or get the fuck out and live in the streets. I chose option two. I didn't even cry at that moment. I finally felt free. It was a Friday night, I was going to enjoy my life for once. I went out with a random friend I made just days before and went away for the weekend, drinking the night away. Sunday evening rolled in. My dad called me because after I reactivated my sim. "Come home, I miss you, I'm sorry for everything that happened, I'll learn to love and support you." So I did go home. I was met with tears, joy, hugs, love... for the first time ever, I felt loved.
My dad sent me away to our home country. I stayed here for the entirety of 2022, in fear if I go back home. I made some friends there though, yay. They were way older than me. They took me out every night. Bowling, clubbing, restaurants, bars, cafes, clubbing. I kept my feelings and struggles secret. I started to drink every single night. I started to nag for a drink, then another. I eventually got my own apartment there for 3 months. For those 3 months, I stayed up all night drinking alone, slept all day, ate fast food, got fat again, experienced intimacy for the first time. I felt trapped and addicted. I craved alcohol because it took my sense of feeling, I craved fast food because it took my sense of sadness, I craved intimacy because it took my sense of loneliness. I eventually escaped this mini cycle with the help of my new friends and they started taking me out again, but not to clubs or bars. Only on occasion. My dad hoped that being in my homeland would fix me, but there is where I found myself again, found my will to live, significantly dropped my social anxiety, became happier, and my own person.
I went straight back to working a new job when I came back in 2023, I went back to finish my high school and now I'm in uni this year. My friends from overseas seem to have forgotten about me though. I still struggle a lot with anxiety and depression and coping with the fact I don't really have friends or good family support. Life isn't fair, I just need to get over it and fix what's broken.
My mind feels clear now, thank you. It is now 0301 and I am gonna try to sleep. Goodnight!

Heya, I'm Moonie (26 almost 27yr they/she), I live alone with my two cats! this is a bit of a long post!
\\ struggling with choosing a name, finding a community, and recently went no-contact with most of my family //
It's almost 5am, so please forgive any struggles with grammar and writing incosistensies. My chosen name is still undecided so I'm going by one of my nicknames Moonie. I've been presenting as genderfluid for a long while, but have done so officially with the term in 2020-2021
It's always been something my family hasn't ever talked about and at the end of April things really seemed to boil over. I'm not very good with talking about these things outside of my friends and therapist. I'll do my best to write cohesively, I've had to retell this story often.
I came out to my family (like the fifth time) but this time as Noah, a name I still truly love, I was very excited to tell them and the response I got was not great. To the point I feel shamed to no longer use that name.
and my Mom's first round of questions when she calls me the next day is if I'm still seeing my therapist and if she was the kind of therapist that can prescribe meds should I need them. (Mom's first reaction to any 'big emotion' like this including my anxiety is medication, which honestly does nothing for me other than make me sick. She makes me feel like I need to be happy 24/7 and that I can't have consistent bad days.)
(I've had GAD and depression since I was a teen. this is not news. I've been off and on of meds for years but ultimately can handle myself much better without them. If I'm panicking or stressed there's usually something going on. Mom thinks meds are a cure-all when they aren't.)
I was told I was being disrespectful, that she thought long and hard about what to name me (my estranged father wanted to name me after Saber from X-Men..) and that it was a big slap in her face. One of my uncle's said he was only ever going to see me as (birth name) and that no one will ever be able to call me Noah. I'll do a speed-round of some of the things my Mom said.
"You know it's honestly really disrespectful and it hurts my heart that you would want to change your name."
"We don't know what to say so we said nothing." (And to me, silence is an answer.)
"I know you wouldn't have any way of knowing this but (relative by marriage) died today and your uncle has been dealing with that, and so you telling us this is just really bad timing."
"You are constantly changing things and we don't know what will stick and you don't know what will stick." (I used a different surname for a few years, meanwhile I flip-flopped from my birth name to a shortened version for a little while before asking to be called Noah.)
"How do you feel disconnected to a name? Grandma and I don't understand how you could feel disconnected to a name. It's always just been 'my name' and I've left it be."
"I don't care if you change your last name of if you're lesbian or queer or gay or whatever. Changing your first name feels like an attack against me,"
"You will always be my little girl, my daughter." (I've told her and the rest of my family altogether and one on one how uncomfortable those words make me feel.)
"You know, we are all old. We never had to think about these sorts of things. They didn't exist in Grandma and Grandpa's time. Non-binary still makes no sense to me. Using they/them is referring to a group, you're not a group."
"You need to be more understanding and see from our perspective that we are old and don't understand this."
I shaved off my hair recently to have a fresh start and they've been comparing me to Britney Spears and her 'psychotic breakdown'. Saying that I am having a break down too?? Uhh, no, it is literally just hair. I've never felt more like a freak to them. I was told that they 'don't want to risk' me possibly getting angry with them speaking their mind, so they chose not to say anything at all. And when I reached out to hopefully find some common ground, I was told it had to go both ways. Both ways regarding my identity...??
Between choosing my new name, wanting breast reduction or top surgery, and suddenly saying I like girls (which has never been a secret and known fact since MS) they think that automatically means I wanna be a boy. I don't. But I have seriously wondered if this is something trans men and fellow enby pals have had to go through?
Truth is, I've lived most of my life for my family. Especially my teens and early twenties. I always did what I thought would be pleasing to them and now that I'm stepping out, every choice I've making for myself feels like an affront to them. And every point
The uncle who was dealing with the death ended up being the most understanding as well. He's always been really good at trying to make me feel safe and welcomed. He was raised to be almost like my elder brother as we are only 8 years apart. I still have contact with him. He was the only one who actually bothered to ask if I was okay and wanted to make sure I was doing well. He did say he was going to try to talk to the others.
I've only gone over the main points, there's so much more to this and a lot of it is very repetitive parts. With how things are currently, I don't want to see the others. I need space to find who I am without them, and it doesn't seem like there is space for me as I am in their lives. I know it's foolish of me to hope for an apology. My feelings are still greatly hurt, and I wish I didn't feel like they thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. I've told them my pronouns time and time again over the years several times and the only one who seems to bother to try is my one uncle. I might as well not exist to anyone else.
I feel like I can never be myself around them, much less bring home a fellow queer partner. I wouldn't want my partner to be talked shit about like they do about my aunt's and uncle's and extended family's business. I'm sick of their disrespect and petty gossip. and this is really hard because they are truly all I have other than my cats. I don't drive, I have severe PTSD from two car accidents. I'm over an hour from the cities. That's why trying to build community is hard. I would need their help if I wanted to move anywhere else, unless I made friends willing to help instead.
I do think I still love my family, especially my mom and my uncle. But I've been nothing but miserable, like I'm constantly having to push myself aside or make myself small to fit into their tiny, suffocating box. Like I'm a triangle being shoved into the circle-shaped hole repeatedly, but I will never fit. I felt like I was always the one who had to compromise myself and my comfort, never them. I don't feel like I'm a part of the family anymore and I don't know if I want to be.
Have any of you dealt with stuff like this? I do admit I am lost, stressed, and tired. I've been having a lot of stress dreams, and I don't think returning would be a good option. I can't bear to be called my legal birth name anymore. I have a tiny list of names I'm trying out, but I'm most comfortable using my online nickname right now!
I guess I'm just searching for hope in my life. Something to look forward to.
If you read all of this, thank you so much. I really needed this vent. I greatly appreciate it. Take care!
TLDR; I came out to my family for like 5th time with my desired name, I was shamed into no longer using it and now I'm not in contact with most of my family. I don't want to see them right now. I realized that my opinion of most of my family isn't a very good one. I'm already pretty isolated in the rural Midwest and struggling to find community outside of my online friends, one local friend, and my therapist. Any advice or kind soul leaving a comment would be great. Thank you.

know it's long but I appreciate every read and skip-read, thanks!!
(first part until line could be skipped)
So as the title says I (m19) feel pretty lonely bcs I realised I never really "had anybody", which I think is really more the problem ig?
Quick situation: I'm deep in Uni applications for fine arts, so lots of portfolio's, A LOT to do, as I REALLY need to get accepted somewhere this yr. . Finished my Highschool/A-levels in arts last year; and am now doing a voluntary year which, incl. commute, takes about 36 hrs of my week.
I wanna move away end of summer, "as far" as possible, bcs I kinda want a fresh start.
Social situation: So my parents spereated when I was 5, but, as i heard soon enough, they technically did "5" yrs before that and just lived together for my sake; which I realise as I'm writing this, I actually changed my mind and think that was a shit idea and they handled it very poorly.
In General:To put it shortly they both kinda fucked about about how they ..were? I think I was more of a best friend/therapist for him after all that; and my mother actually behaved like a mother, just very cold? like not comically so, but she just really isn't like that. It just sucks when she is The person in your life. (I'm kinda like that too so I don't even really blame her, but also I don't plan on having children so..). As for the rest of my family; can automatically ignore my father's side, except for a few but I don't really know them anyways. My mothers side, I all love them very dearly, you got your problems but all very normal and nice.
I just always had a kind of social anxiety towards those closest to me, ESPECIALLY family bcs, well they're probably gonna know you forever, which is very scary, more so than with a person/s you "choose".
I've got "lots" of friends, and one ore two close people (f21) i could even really talk to if needed to I'm sure? (100%!) And my two "✨besties✨" (2x f20), i really like them, and we are a fun group, don't really see eachother that often bcs of distance. But we aren't really the feelings kinda gals, more like gossip and life update, and a good vacation/sleepover. It'd be "weird" to be all emotionally with them, bcs we just aren't like that (not a no-go tho!), which works for us, one of them is even "cold/distant" in the same way as me, which i think is actually quite fun and bond-y sometimes. so all good there. (** I'm not really cold or distant more like "oh yeah he's the sarcastic/dry one" or something like that ig, it just feels kinda cold and empty sometimes)
I'm not in therapy rn, which obviously is something that needs doing, but I don't think that's the main problem, or that's what's actually missing. * I don't really need to talk it out or anything, I just need someone that's like there? i know that sounds so desperate but I'm afraid it's just what it is. I haven't had a succesful realtionship since 2020, which ended really fucking poorly, but it's just about this warm feeling before that. He was my best friends since 6th grade before that so I don't really have another example of that feeling but a good handful of short lived ones. I don't think it was HIM tho, we didn't really talk like that either, so it's not that or anything.
I don't even need a partner or something like that, just a good, warm friend, as sad as that sounds.
But even that I don't really feel like doing bcs I mean I don't even really have the time anyways which just sucks for everybody, and most for my portfolios.
But also I really, really want some male friends? that sounds awful and lonely but I don't really have a lot, and none close to me. But anyone would be fine really
(But also I really need some guy friends, bcs my b-day is in july and it's not exactly perfect to be the only guy at your own 20 person party)
As I said, I really don't know what to do with myself rn, I would really welcome some advice, as I think i really need some, and it's not like I can go to, even my most emotionally supportive, friends and be like '' yeah so I dont really feel close and homely with anybody not even you, sorry darling''
I'm really lost, but also I don't feel like opening any new barrels (??) "right before" I move away and meet new people, but also also until sept/oct is still quiet a long time.
I just want to meet some new people, which also seems kinda annoying to me, bcs I don't wanna waste any of my time as the "gay best friend" or being some flimsy whimsy weirdo to some Dude
* I don't want someone new to fill a void and fix all my problems or make up for 20 years of whatever this is or anything, I'm actually quiet well regulated, even if it doesn't sounds like it. There just is like a slot that shouldn't be empty and that probably shouldn't be bcs it makes like happy social hormones in your brain, which your brain needs to be regulated?? Idek I'm so tired and at my wits end at this point
I kinda realised this only today in the hard way, always kinda knew of course, and had small realisations, but as it happens it just really hit me and i feel super cornered
I'm in Germany, near the middle ig so no grant homophobia or anything but tbh i do feel kinda weird around most straight guys? But ig people are getting better so it's really just about their personality
Sorry for all the text i know it's A LOT, but in case anybody actually makes the effort to read it, thank you, and any thought from you is deeply appreciated!!
(I know it's always annoying to read; but english isn't my first language, in case some wording or spelling is off/wrong)

WARNING, LONG AS FUCK. SORRY

Intro
Hello! As this insane situation continues on, I’ve seen lots of comments about the Korean reaction to it. There have been lots of comments expressing bafflement that so many people around the world, but particularly in Korea, seem to be supporting MHJ. A lot of people have also expressed confusion (and sometimes anger) and question how this woman became a ‘feminist icon’ since her fiery press conference.
A lot of people have given brief explanations about how she appealed to the working class and how her anger resonated with the anger of so many young women in Korea. And indeed, MHJ support was most prevalent in online communities frequented by young or young adult women. So what gives?
I chanced upon this incredibly well written article, which explains just how MHJ was able have such a chokehold on the Korean general public, and all the ‘cultural context’ (very hot phrase these days lol) to understand MHJ’s angle. I’ve seen many of the points this article makes around on this subreddit, but not consolidated as well as this. It also conveniently summarizes this entire case (until the 17th anyway)!
I considered just adding it as a comment on the existing megathreads, but (excuse my greed) I wanted as many eyes on it as possible. And also this shit doesn't fit in a single comment...
Here is the link to the article and below is my translation of it. Please excuse any grammar mistakes or typos. Do keep in mind that this is, in the end, an opinion piece and does go against MHJ’s stance. I hope you’ll read with an open mind if you support MHJ.
What about Min Heejin is making people so fanatic?
[Mediaus=Reporter Yoon Kwangeun’s Column]
The feud between HYBE and Min Heejin has become increasingly chaotic as days go by. In fact, now it is confusing to even try and remember what the initial cause of this feud. Both sides entered their first legal procedure on the 17th. This hearing was for a provisional injunction filed by Min Heejin (hence shortened to MHJ because I’m lazy), CEO of ADOR, to prohibit the use of HYBE’s voting rights (in the upcoming shareholder meeting).
This fight is being fiercely fought in the court of public opinion. The younger generation and female-dominated communities are supporting MHJ, while other sites seem more divided in their support for either side. Both HYBE and MHJ have been repeatedly exposing each other to try and sway public opinion, and on the 17th, there have been a deluge of articles airing each other’s dirty laundry. In particular, MHJ’s side’s method of winning the public opinion seemed to focus on diverting the discussion from issues like embezzlement and the takeover of management rights to generating negative public opinion towards HYBE. During this process, broader topics regarding the sustainable development of Kpop and many HYBE groups, such as ILLIT, Le Sserafim, and BTS have been targeted in these exposés. Currently, public opinion on most SNS platforms and majority of large communities are overwhelmingly critical of HYBE. This article will present and examine the stances and strategies of MHJ’s side that has resonated with the public in order to separate true and false.
When HYBE first publicized this case with the keyword ‘takeover of management rights,’ it looked as though MHJ was cornered at a cliff’s edge. To be able to completely turn the tides shows the enormous impact of that press conference. In truth, it was as if everyone had been bewitched. As soon as the conference ended, the internet exploded with talk about MHJ, and many TV journalists were busy praising it as “shocking.” What MHJ did exactly is ‘public agitation’ (used in a neutral sense). Her opponent during this press conference was not Bang Sihyuk but the ‘public,’ and her aim was not to clarify the existing accusations but to introduce her own. In doing this, she expanded the scope of the case and simultaneously seized the initiative. While many people evaluated the conference with keywords such as ‘honesty’ and ‘impulsiveness,’ in truth, it was meticulously prepared and controlled.
Her approach was effective because she presented topics that people could easily understand. The points of contention during this feud—embezzlement, control of management rights, and shareholder contracts—are difficult and tedious to understand without knowledge of corporate law. Initially, public opinion simplified the issue by criticizing MHJ as someone ungrateful to the company that supported her. This reaction was a form of false consciousness, following the perspective of the ruling class and lambasting her for throwing muddy water (i.e. to make dirty) on the current social order held by ‘money and corporate power.’
In this situation, MHJ broke the mold by creating a popular “narrative.” During the press conference, as if sharing the nitty-gritty details of her personal diary, she shared stories of a mother-daughter relationship with NewJeans, of the hardships of the working class, of the suffering of women under ‘fucking boomers (gae-jussis),’ and of the hypocrisies within the Kpop industry, weaving a Cinderella-like tale while casting the role of the evil stepsister to other idol groups with existing negative public opinion. She utilized intuitive topics that the general public could easily understand and threw out bait to fandoms who were used to discussing such topics as if experts, igniting the fuse on this explosive issue. MHJ positioned herself as a woman/motheworkeartist and claimed the position of the underdog/victim, while attributing HYBE with the label of oppressoassailant opposing these identities. The one word to perfectly tie the entire narrative together: ‘gae-jussi.’
This process unfolded like a monodrama, vividly expressing her unfiltered emotions. As she cried and laughed and raged and swore and shouted, an overwhelming flood of emotions—unimaginable in a typical press conference—swept through the audience, captivating their eyes and ears. In fact, this format was not unfamiliar to many people. It bore a resemblance to the emotions felt in ‘internet livestreaming.’ BJs (broadcast jockeys) on AfreecaTV conduct themselves similarly—crying, laughing, raging, swearing, and dissing others on camera. These intense emotions are then consumed as ‘tension’ and ‘dopamine’ by the audience. For the younger generation accustomed to such internet broadcasts, witnessing such scenes in a formal setting must have been both novel and familiar, and thus a fascinating experience. On the other hand, for those not familiar with such experiences, the press conference may have merely been ‘shocking’ or even deviant behavior. MHJ tailored her appeal to the dominant code of contemporary society, especially to that of the young internet masses.
Storytelling of a Good vs. Evil Narrative
In summary of MHJ’s actions, she adapted the narrative structure of the dispute, weaving a story by rearranging the roles of good and evil. She presented a simple and classic moral tale of good triumphing over evil and positioned herself on the side of virtue. From the press conference to her current interactions with the media, every topic MHJ has raised aims to portray HYBE as a public ‘villain’ and appeals to the public to judge ‘HYBE’s sins.’ In the name of this cause, topics such as the criticism of multi-label diversity, random photocard marketing tactics, and the recent claim of album pushing (sajaegi) have been summoned for her cause, even though they are not directly related to the dispute’s initial topic.
MHJ’s agitation is reminiscent of certain types of politicians who are gaining traction today: those who claim to represent the grassroots, the ‘common man,’ while stirring hostility towards the elite. A by-the-books populist tactic. They ride the wave of social conflict, stoking people’s anger and then presenting targets for that anger. MHJ also added a layer of nationalism to this conflict by calling out Miyawaki Sakura, a Japanese-born idol, and labeling her as an ‘outsider’ who was taking what is rightfully NewJeans’. In doing this, she insinuated that Korean women were being discriminated against because of a Japanese woman. Various ‘pro-Japanese’ conspiracy theories about LE SSERAFIM and HYBE circulating the dark recesses of YouTube and online communities stem from this anti-Japanese sentiment. (Note: the term ‘pro-Japanese’ used here is ‘친일파,’ a very loaded term attributed to pro-Japanese Koreans during Korea’s colonization by Japan. Much worse than just ‘traitor’)
The real danger is that her strategy punishes those who are not responsible. MHJ has directly named NewJeans, ILLIT, and LE SSERAFIM, and placed them in the roles of good and evil under the role of her and Bang’s “children.” The story of ILLIT copying NewJeans, and of NewJeans’ debut being delayed by LE SSERAFIM plays a central role in this Kpop ‘Cinderella’ story that MHJ has strategically revealed to establish her narrative. Prior hostility from encore and Coachella controversies were reignited towards LE SSERAFIM and ILLIT was dragged into the spotlight as a ‘fake NewJeans’ to be publicly shamed.
Public opinion was largely flipped due to the sadism and retributive psychology of a crowd immersed in the narrative of good triumphing over evil. After the press conference, malicious comments regarding ILLIT and LE SSERAFIM surged across communities, YouTube, and all social media platforms. LE SSERAFIM and ILLIT have done nothing but be contracted to a company and work under said company. And yet, they have become villains, not for any wrongful actions, but because they were on the opposite side of a narrative established in one press conference’s monodrama. The severity of these malicious comments has reached alarming and dangerous levels, with malicious comments not only flooding the group accounts but also individual members’ Instagram accounts, receiving thousands of likes. This wave of public opinion also extends to other celebrities who have collaborated with these groups, urging them to “distance themselves” while mockingly mentioning NewJeans. MHJ has continually brought up these groups and much of her current dominance in entertainment communities and social media platforms is largely supported by the hostile public opinion towards this group. This method of mobilizing public opinion is morally questionable and dangerous.
Misinformation Arising from the Narrativization of Reality
The “narrativization of reality” can be an easy means for the public to understand and engage with reality. However, it can also be a trap that distorts one’s perception by fitting that reality into the plot of a story. Facts that do not align with the good vs. evil narrative of MHJ vs. HYBE are dismissed, and those that neatly fit this mold are adopted and exaggerated. Under this framework, it is impossible to accurately understand the hot topic of “the reality of the Kpop industry” and only leads to inaccurate discussions and conclusions. The alleged wrongdoings of HYBE are isolated as purely HYBE’s faults rather than being connected to a broader reflection of the Kpop industry. This phenomenon arises as public agenda (i.e. societal issues) becomes co-opted as a weapon in the battle of public opinion.
MHJ receives significant support from the feminist perspective, as her situation is being viewed through a lens that criticizes a male-dominated society. This is likely due to the image and narrative MHJ has crafted for herself, portraying herself as a “female employee oppressed in a society full of fucking boomers/gae-jussis.” Like in many other fields, there is a consensus that protecting a “successful woman,” which is especially rare in the entertainment industry, from the attacks of male executives aligns with the values of feminism. The article “Before Pointing Fingers at This Woman for Being Eccentric” published by 한겨레21 is an example of this stance. This article evaluates the situation from a feminist perspective but does not consider MHJ’s past actions and values, rather simplistically placing her in the position of an individual woman against the universal norm of a male-dominated group. This is despite the fact that even during the press conference, MHJ revealed perspectives mirroring ‘toxic masculinity.’
By evaluating the ages of female trainees, the appearance of the NewJeans members, and equating womanhood with motherhood, she adheres more with patriarchal conventions. An older woman in the industry, labelling members of ILLIT and LE SSERAFIM—young women who are just setting foot in the industry—as ‘outsiders’ or ‘insiders’ is, even viewed from the kindest of lens, very far from the solidarity that feminism seeks. MHJ’s behavior as a creative director is also very far from feminist principles and often contradicts them. For instance, when the MV for NewJeans’ ‘OMG’ was released, there was controversy as she depicted the gender-based criticism against the group as actions of mentally ill haters (Note: explanation below). Additionally, the story that emerged on the 17th about a sexual harassment complaint involving ADOR’s deputy CEO, alleging that MHJ demanded the deputy CEO treat female employees with an overbearing attitude, is difficult to dismiss. It gives the impression that MHJ is not representing feminism but rather, using feminism as a tool in the battle for public opinion.
Attitudes demonstrating a positive evaluation of MHJ seems particularly strong in progressive media. This attraction towards MHJ is also understandable. She claimed a victory against the elite class using a populist framework and overturned the institutional media’s narrative with a single press conference. On YouTube and online communities, she has garnered considerable support from ‘grassroots’ communities. Her story is filled with elements that progressive media find compelling. However, this attraction should not replace an objective evaluation and reflection of the situation. MHJ’s press conference was inappropriate not just because she abandoned formal public speaking decorum. It was filled with morally and politically incorrect elements, and the emotions it stirred were the core mechanism that captivated public opinion. This spectacle, catharsis, and value inversion are not far removed from the foundation of what society has termed, ‘extreme right wing’.
The unfairness I feel becomes justification when self-rationalizing my behavior, and the dichotomy of ‘my children vs others’ children’ becomes moral legitimacy for my survivalism. This becomes the basis for believing that any action is excusable so long as it is directed towards those who have a reason to be criticized. Survivalism, retributive justice, ideologies instrumentalized for conflict, and the violence of the crowd… These concepts all resonate strongly with people’s social identities and are reflected in the enthusiasm for the press conference (Note: essentially, people feel strongly about their social identities of being a workewoman/man/etc and are prone to fall victim to the above traits). Many commentaries analyzing the ‘Min Heejin phenomenon’ have emerged, but none have questioned or reflected on this point. This may be evidence that the media and intellectuals ultimately view this incident as merely ‘celebrity gossip,’ downplaying its harm, but we must not overlook the fact that the codes of our society are embedded within it (translation into normal ass english: that this situation says a lot about Korean society and its people).
(Note on OMG MV, since it’s mostly a sexualization of minors and an age-thing in the West. The final scene, where someone writes ‘Am I the only one uncomfortable with the MV’s content’[뮤비 소재 나만 불편함?] is also worded quite similarly to a phrase “Unnie, am I the only one uncomfortable with this?” [언냐 이거 나만 불편함?], a phrase used in misogynistic and anti-feminist circles to mock feminists and how they complain online.)
Thanks for reading until the end! It was a pretty hefty read, but I think it brings in a lot of societal issues in with this whole MHJ situation. Societal issues that aren't really unique to Korea, but are definitely particularly contentious here.
For the sake of being fair, I do want to emphasize that it may well be true that HYBE participated in some of the things MHJ is accusing them off (the industry stuff, not the mistreatment or copying stuff). But I hope that this gives some insight into how MHJ is muddying the waters to hide the initial reason for this conflict.
To leave on a high note, playing with people's emotions is playing with fire. Once people sniff out the bs, they'll come back with a vengeance. This is already starting to happen in Korea.
I'm never gonna make a post this long again. I almost died. Please feel free to discuss parts of the article that stood out to you, or say 'called it' on the points you already knew lol

There is someone out there reading this waiting for a message from someone that may be drawing my attention towards because of my topics I write about.
I am a former and currently struggling addict. I'm not perfect, I don't try to be someone I am not. I am blunt, honest, alone.... Mostly alone.... A lot!
I am a human being that has stumbled many upon many times..... I'm doing it again not all or all at once, but I did all in my past.
Let me break the ice and list some of my sins and addictions.
watching inappropriate films of all topics.
Fornication
Smoking
Drinking
Gossip
Gluttony
In a nice way to list it without the drama story attached to it. I'm guilty of it all.
Don't give in, even though you messed up today. I did too....
Just socializing, I take a drag of a cigarette and then another and then another....
Well, I just smoked and broke my promise again for the millionthteenth time.... So, I'll just smoke for tonight only......
It's 1am now, but I didn't fall asleep yet, so I can smoke until my day actually ends.
F* it, I'll just buy a pack because I'm already smoked yesterday and broke my promise.
You see my demons there!
Yeah, this is current and I'm ashamed and holding myself accountable. I told my person my struggles and allowed them to share their anger towards me for falling back into my old patterns. I still told them and I am working on myself. I am reminding myself where I was and how long I stopped and how far I've come and to not fall back into hurting my body anymore. To love myself more and not harm it because I am not afraid of dying. I need to stop wanting it to happen to me. I need to accept that my life has a purpose and masking my pain won't stop when I am hiding my emotions for a nicotine buzz when I take a break at work.
That is no excuse to pick up the habit. Let your coworkers do it without you. Don't go back to your old habits. Stop it!
That's my Dad yelling at me. I get him interrupting when I free write.
I want you to see that I struggle everyday. I miss smoking every day. I chose the other options to seek a substance over another. I am just like my father. I have an addictive personality and behavior pattern.
I also see where I need to work on myself and I get back in the game. I don't keep with the habit because I fell out of it for a weekend. My Dad won't shut up.
My father died of lung cancer and he never smoked and he is very upset at me for smoking so I could be with him in heaven. He cried next to me as I cried and I gave up singing. I left choir and I had throat problems when I was a senior in college. I didn't get to sing my recital to my father, he passed away before he saw me graduate.
He doesn't want anyone to give in to their addictions. He wishes he followed his dreams of being a service with God by his side. He gave into alcohol and pills. He sees me talking about him on here. I'm letting you see me for who I am and I am not afraid of how you read my story. This is real. This is me. Deal with it or move on.
Sorry about that side tangent. Suz showed up.
She helps me get my throat chakra open so I can share my feelings and stick up for myself. She is well aware of my past and been warning me ever since.
This is about addiction. This is about letting go.
They show up at the worst times, sorry you guys....
I am here to receive and share my story and I fall apart. I am being tested by my enemy and I am sharing my struggles to show my gratitude for awareness. I am more aware to see where I am falling short and work on nurturing those wounds to avoid the old habits of treating it. My inner child, my 20 year old self showed up and what I did back then was miss my Dad and smoke.
I can never fall too far, my Dad shows up and reminds me to write and he helps me get back on track with the topics I write about. It's him taking over my hands and I just start writing.
It's really cool. I miss him and it's weird how he does this, it took me a few tries after becoming very intoxicated with a substance I don't want to trigger you anymore..... Sorry....
I'm not the only one that has this problem. When some of us become intoxicated, we are more intune with spirits. It's not a psychotic break down. It took me a long time to see why my father kept escaping when he had no reason.
He had good reasons, but I wasn't old enough to understand. Until he passed, we are very close, he shares with me many memories and stories of my family I never knew. He taught me how to talk to my Grandmother through music. He lets me know how to handle my mom. He calms me down when I am having a breakdown and my arms hold my body in a hug. I don't move my body, I let my body move on its own. When I allow this to happen, especially when I drank, I saw my father in my memory hugging me tightly. That was when he taught me how to see and communicate with him.
I got used to wanting to be around him more, I kept trying to find how to bring him back, it only happens on special occasions. I don't get to decide how he wants to show up. He just does and I have to be ready to see his signs and feel every moment to enjoy the experience.
He told me today.
"Knock it off! Go write!"
So, here I am. I was wrong. This journey doesn't let me get away with much anymore. I have a purpose why I chose to stray away from God after I went to college and do this stuff.... My adult self is really mad for smoking and drinking so heavily.....
If you are still young, but feel like you did yourself enough damage you don't see the point in stopping......
Just stop.
There's no plan to it, you just do it. It's gonna suck. That part you got to fix is how you think about it once you stop.
This isn't me talking, this is still my Dad teaching me a lesson to not smoke. Because he died a terrible death and he doesn't want me to go the same way. We are working on forgiving each other in giving into our patterns we learned from our family patterns of raising kids. We all have a story. We all came from some form of trauma.
They want to show me how to stop repeating it. I failed this week. It's been a week, not gonna lie and I enjoyed it, but now, I feel regret. Because I do know better.
I know someone out there wants to be serious and stop, but feel alone without someone to show active encouragement.....
Be my cheerleader too!
I need one so I can stop messing up my clean lungs. I worked hard to get them there. I'm gonna get back on track and stop. I hope you are able to get a hold of your addictions too, Whatever it may be.
I feel a little weird about posting this, but they are double dog daring me to do it.
SO, don't judge, but yeah..... Here it is.... Unedited. All me.... Being weird.
Peace,
Tina

Ok so I loved Queen Charlotte. I thought it was amazing. The writing. The acting. The costumes.
I watched a few episodes of Bridgerton S1 years ago and forgot about it so didn't finish that season although I think I enjoyed what I watched of it but can't remember. I didn't watch S2. I decided to watch S3 and I know from reading about these series and watching some of S1 the general outline and also from QC.
But a few questions.

1. How does "Lady Whistledown" get her gossip pamphlet to people? Does she secretly sneak off to a printing press and then stick it in newspapers or do they just never explain that?
2. I'm bored. Is there more to S1 and S2 or should I give up now? I though the main lead actors on QC were so good but I'm just not impressed with most of the acting in S3 although I blame the bad writing for most of it. The only exception is the couple who inherit the house from Lady Kent. Simone Ashley is stunning but even the "erotic" scenes with her lack chemistry as if she is going through the motions ("Ok now tilt head back, open mouth, groan") it all seems to robotic and mechanical as if you can imagine an intimacy coordinator and director hovering over them. Is it better in S2?
3. Coughlin has a lot of brow furrows, eyes darting in every direction and frowning. She seems popular on this sub but unfortunately I find her acting a little annoying. There is no chemistry between Penelope and Colin but I'm only on E3 maybe it will get better. In fact none of the characters are interesting. Should I even bother with S2?
4. Is there more to the show than the woman finding a husband and fancy outfits? I don't know if I had unrealistic expectations because of QC which had so much more depth or if it's just a bad season. Are there other elements to the plot?

know it's long but I appreciate every read and skip-read, thanks!!
(first part until line could prolly be skipped)
So as the title says I (m19) feel pretty lonely bcs I realised I never really "had anybody", which I think is really more the problem ig?
Quick situation: I'm deep in Uni applications for fine arts, so lots of portfolio's, A LOT to do, as I REALLY need to get accepted somewhere this yr. . Finished my Highschool/A-levels in arts last year; and am now doing a voluntary year which, incl. commute, takes about 36 hrs of my week.
I wanna move away end of summer, "as far" as possible, bcs I kinda want a fresh start.
Social situation: So my parents spereated when I was 5, but, as i heard soon enough, they technically did "5" yrs before that and just lived together for my sake; which I realise as I'm writing this, I actually changed my mind and think that was a shit idea and they handled it very poorly.
In General:To put it shortly they both kinda fucked about about how they ..were? I think I was more of a best friend/therapist for him after all that; and my mother actually behaved like a mother, just very cold? like not comically so, but she just really isn't like that. It just sucks when she is The person in your life. (I'm kinda like that too so I don't even really blame her, but also I don't plan on having children so..). As for the rest of my family; can automatically ignore my father's side, except for a few but I don't really know them anyways. My mothers side, I all love them very dearly, you got your problems but all very normal and nice.
I just always had a kind of social anxiety towards those closest to me, ESPECIALLY family bcs, well they're probably gonna know you forever, which is very scary, more so than with a person/s you "choose".
I've got "lots" of friends, and one ore two close people (f21) i could even really talk to if needed to I'm sure? (100%!) And my two "✨besties✨" (2x f20), i really like them, and we are a fun group, don't really see eachother that often bcs of distance. But we aren't really the feelings kinda gals, more like gossip and life update, and a good vacation/sleepover. It'd be "weird" to be all emotionally with them, bcs we just aren't like that (not a no-go tho!), which works for us, one of them is even "cold/distant" in the same way as me, which i think is actually quite fun and bond-y sometimes. so all good there. (** I'm not really cold or distant more like "oh yeah he's the sarcastic/dry one" or something like that ig, it just feels kinda cold and empty sometimes)
I'm not in therapy rn, which obviously is something that needs doing, but I don't think that's the main problem, or that's what's actually missing. * I don't really need to talk it out or anything, I just need someone that's like there? i know that sounds so desperate but I'm afraid it's just what it is. I haven't had a succesful realtionship since 2020, which ended really fucking poorly, but it's just about this warm feeling before that. He was my best friends since 6th grade before that so I don't really have another example of that feeling but a good handful of short lived ones. I don't think it was HIM tho, we didn't really talk like that either, so it's not that or anything.
I don't even need a partner or something like that, just a good, warm friend, as sad as that sounds.
But even that I don't really feel like doing bcs I mean I don't even really have the time anyways which just sucks for everybody, and most for my portfolios.
But also I really, really want some male friends? that sounds awful and lonely but I don't really have a lot, and none close to me. But anyone would be fine really
(But also I really need some guy friends, bcs my b-day is in july and it's not exactly perfect to be the only guy at your own 20 person party)
As I said, I really don't know what to do with myself rn, I would really welcome some advice, as I think i really need some, and it's not like I can go to, even my most emotionally supportive, friends and be like '' yeah so I dont really feel close and homely with anybody not even you, sorry darling''
I'm really lost, but also I don't feel like opening any new barrels (??) "right before" I move away and meet new people, but also also until sept/oct is still quiet a long time.
I just want to meet some new people, which also seems kinda annoying to me, bcs I don't wanna waste any of my time as the "gay best friend" or being some flimsy whimsy weirdo to some Dude
* I don't want someone new to fill a void and fix all my problems or make up for 20 years of whatever this is or anything, I'm actually quiet well regulated, even if it doesn't sounds like it. There just is like a slot that shouldn't be empty and that probably shouldn't be bcs it makes like happy social hormones in your brain, which your brain needs to be regulated?? Idek I'm so tired and at my wits end at this point
I kinda realised this only today in the hard way, always kinda knew of course, and had small realisations, but as it happens it just really hit me and i feel super cornered
I'm in Germany, near the middle ig so no grant homophobia or anything but tbh i do feel kinda weird around most straight guys? But ig people are getting better so it's really just about their personality
Sorry for all the text i know it's A LOT, but in case anybody actually makes the effort to read it, thank you, and any thought from you is deeply appreciated!!
(I know it's always annoying to read; but english isn't my first language, in case some wording or spelling is off/wrong)

Original Prompt

Chapter 27
"And you say this starry field consumes your entire form?" Kher's attention - like everyone else's - was on Cass's arm. As they rode forward at the head of the caravan, colorful bands and flecks of distant starlight moved through her limb. Like glittering lights in a stream, never did the same pattern repeat.
"When I want it to, yeah." Cass flexed her night-black fingers. Her arm was pain-free in the dark, so long as the others kept their torches away. The flames had been put out after a stray flicker of light gave her a jolt; the sudden, involuntary twitch nearly caused her to remove Charis's hand.
"Why does your arm seem so much smaller during the day?" Nuu asked. "I've seen you in battle, you are not a withered husk of a person."
"Part of the curse. Fire weakens me." Cass looked up at the night sky, imagining the great ball of flame hanging over her head as it did all day, every day. She did not need to explain to them that the Sun was the greatest source of fire in the world. Their religion was built around that.
"But that's only when I'm not immersed in it it," she continued, "when I'm trying to be me. When I use it to fight I sort of..." She rolled her right hand in front of her as she looked for words. The feeling she'd never been able to verbalize continued to elude her. "I sort of...jump into it. Like into a pool of water, but it's not water, it's something else."
"Darkness," Nuu said, quietly.
"Stars!" Kher was more enthusiastic.
"Maybe? I don't know another way to describe it, but-"
"What is going on here!?" The icy whiplash of Kebb's tongue cut through the night. Cass looked over her shoulder and saw him riding up with his torch in hand and quickly covered her arm with her robe.
"Careful!" Charis said, holding out a hand toward Kebb, "Put out your torch or-"
"Put out my torch?" Kebb, who had always been so calm and peaceful, looked like he was caught between the desire to vomit or to strike Charis for what he'd said. "You all know the Tenets. Putting out your flames in the dark is...is..."
"I'm sorry," Cass spoke up, waving her good hand to take Kebb's attention, "I was just-"
"Cassandra, I do not blame you for any of this." Kebb didn't yell, but he was terse. "You are not a Disciple, you are not obligated to follow the Light. Please, take my position at the rear of the caravan so that I may remind these wayward Flames of their oaths."
"But-"
"Please." Kebb leveled a stare at her. Cass was undaunted, but Charis touched her shoulder. She looked their way and they smiled at her.
"We'll be fine," they said.
Cass reigned in Cassiopeia, her camel, and they waited off to the side of the sandstone road for the others to pass. Mica and Iuven both gave her a nod while Nuut ignored her. Anatu - riding near the back with the water cart - asked what she was doing.
"Kebb wants me to ride in the rear," she answered. That was enough for the Captain and they continued on.
Cass followed well behind the caravan for a time, lamenting the silence and the loss of interesting conversation. She thought Nuu was starting to come around, too. Having them and their sister not give her a death stare every time they looked her way would be nice.
With a tug on the reigns, Cass picked up the pace and got closer to the water cart. Her swordspear was there and, if she was going to be protecting from any raiders sneaking up from behind, she wanted it on hand. As she grabbed it she heard Kebb return to ride along with Anatu.
"I took care of the Light," he said, "since you wouldn't."
"It's advantageous to keep to the dark at night." Anatu sounded tired.
"It goes against every Tenet of-"
"I know the Tenets, Kebb. I'm not saying I agree with their...'poor' choices. I just wish you wouldn't get upset at them for being logical."
"Hmph. You give them too much slack. They were all huddled around Cassandra and looking at her...affliction."
"The curse? Did she look like she was losing control?"
"Helen assured me that Cassandra is in full control of her beastial nature."
"Hmph. Is that supposed to be comforting? That she chooses to become that creature? To rip people in half?"
"As long as she does it on our command-"
"On my command."
Cass wanted to tell them both to fuck off in the silence that followed but waited just a moment longer. Cit always told her to count to ten before acting whenever she had an advantage or was ready to spring an ambush. Taking a deep, slow breath, Cass counted backward and within seconds they continued talking.
"I'll put Cassandra on lookout duty tomorrow," Anatu said.
"I already told you, no. The light makes her vulnerable. Helen would not want it."
"Fine, write Helen then." Anatu's tone was light and daring. "Oh wait, you didn't think bringing a hawk was a good idea. I guess you'll have to wait for Helen to write you so you can ask."
"Careful, Anatu, you-"
"You can both just fuck off, you know." Cass was tired of being talked about like a tool. She gave her camel's reigns a tug to stop her and let the water cart pull further ahead. Kebb leaned around the cart while riding and looked back at her. She held up her swordspear in a mocking salute until she could no longer hear the clatter of camel feet and wagon wheels on sandstone.
With a smirk, she clicked her tongue and Cassiopeia continued forward. Letting Kebb and Anatu think she might ride up behind them and eavesdrop any moment was a nice consolation prize for losing out on a night of gossip.

As befitting Lady Whistledown's season, I love that we get to see just how viciously gossipy the ton is, not just via Whistledown, but through various characters and forms of gossip.
You have so many characters who show how society thrives on Whistledown and loves it. Lord Remington LOVES Whistledown, praised the column and was immediately down to gossip with Penelope. He's the first suitor who offers to call on her, and I love how it shows how gossip can connect people in their society. The debutantes mentioned in the first Whistledown of the season squeal at being mentioned, which shows the power and prestige of the column at this point in Penelope's career. And you also have a mention of Hyacinth digging out of the Bridgerton trash to read it, which is a helpful reminder that the Bridgertons still buy the paper regularly, even after call outs like the one Colin faces in episode one.
Besides Whistledown we also get another taste of how gossip actually spreads in the ton- society itself. The scene at the Moonlit ball where Eloise accidentally spreads the story of Colin helping Penelope, the vicious whispers about Penelope are coming from the women in the ballroom, some of the very same ones pleased to be mentioned in that first column. In fact, when Penelope is running out, one of the debutantes says "I cannot wait to read what Lady Whistledown will write about this!" The finger is often pointed at Penelope for "ruining women's lives" with Whistledown, but scenes like this point the finger right back. Penelope writes about herself in Whistledown because the rumor is already going around, something that has not been made so explicitly clear since the first season with Violet's Berbrooke rumor mill, but this scene really drives it home. Whistledown's utility is as a tastemaker, a trusted source, and a clever spin, but the source of the gossip she reports is almost always just society themselves.
There's also some good plot gossip- Portia Featherington not being able to keep her mouth shut starts spreading the gossip that Debling was going to propose before it even happened, which is how that news gets to Violet who then spreads it to Colin with a not so gentle nudge. Cressida spreads some gossip to Debling about Polin being "old friends" which makes him finally realize his risk of getting cuckholded if he married Penelope. There's also a scene at the balloon event where Colin asks his friends for some gossip on Debling, which they don't have, which makes the scene of him trying to come up with reasons for Pen not to marry Debling in the carriage even sweeter because we know he has NOTHING.
And finally- GOSSIP BOYS. Yes, douchey boys locker room talk counts as gossip. Colin comes back to town and is often seen gossiping about his exploits with the regency bros. Colin, notably upon rewatch, hilariously only has one story to share with them about some Contessa (literally it's the only story he brings up in scenes with the bros). The bar sequence where all the bros are trying to one up each other with their sexual stories and they ask for more details from Colin? That's gossip. They're just nasty gossipy boys, and they've bonded together through this type of conversation, which is why one of them even notes that Colin came back "more fun" this year, because he participates in this (up until he doesn't).
At first when I watched it I was confused why Whistledown seemed to take so much of a backseat, but upon rewatch- and this season has GREAT rewatch value- you can see how complicit society is in the gossip culture Lady Whistledown operates in. I'm interested in how this will come into play in Part 2!

I genuinely had no idea the depth this season would have. I just finished my second rewatch, watching edits, and reading people's analyses and metas. Nic was right when she said this season was romance because, wow, I’m speechless at just how much there is to their story. It keeps you going back, thinking, and pondering. To the point that I'm not as mad as I was about them splitting up the season. We're really able to take in these four episodes, unpack each scene, each character, and each expression because everything has been so purposeful.
On my second rewatch, it struck me that it wasn't the kiss that awakened Colin's feelings. I wouldn't have thought so until someone mentioned on twitter it wasn't the kiss Colin has a flashback of before he goes to the ball. it was the scene Pen wraps his hand with a cloth. I rewatched the show after that to pay closer attention and wow did so many things stand out to me the second time around. Maybe it was the candle that sparked that memory, but even then, was her wrapping his wound so significant to him that it prompted him to go to the ball, interrupt her dance, cause a scandal, and then chase her carriage?
Colin's behavior towards her has been odd the entire season. First, Penelope not responding to his letters messed him up. It made him realize that although he's always cherished her as a friend, she had a much more profound impact on him, and he didn’t notice until she was no longer there. He tries to talk to her, but she walks away, giving him the cold shoulder. He is left shook.
He sees her at the ball in her stunning dress. He keeps staring at her, so aware of her, constantly tracking her. Then she leaves, running up the stairs and passing him. He leaves his friends behind to go after her, despite their advice not to concern himself with her. They have that moment where he tells her he misses her, but in a much different way than he would have spoken to her last season or the season before that. "If you're going to make it, say it. I miss you." Not "I missed you," but "I miss you."
This distinction is crucial. "I missed you" implies a past tense, a temporary void that has now been filled. "I miss you," however, conveys a present, ongoing longing. It shows that his feelings are current and that her absence affects him deeply and continuously. This moment is pivotal because it reveals a more vulnerable and sincere side of Colin, one that he hasn't shown to others this season.
Colin is showing a different side of himself to everyone this season, including his own family. He's trying to present a more composed and assertive version of himself to the world. Yet, Penelope is the only one with whom he truly feels comfortable enough to be his genuine self. She makes him feel safe, allowing him to drop the mask he wears for others. With her, he can be kind, sensitive, and unguarded.
This sense of security that Penelope provides is significant. It’s clear that Colin values her presence not just as a friend, but as someone who understands him on a deeper level. She brings out the best in him, the parts he might be afraid to show others for fear of appearing weak or overly sentimental. In Penelope’s presence, Colin feels seen and accepted, which is why his declaration of "I miss you" carries such weight. It’s not just that he misses her company; he misses the person he is when he’s with her.
Then he seeks her out and comes to her house, gives her the big speech, and tells her he wants to get into her good graces. They go out, and he tells her to practice on those gentlemen. When she stumbles over her words, he just smiles so fondly at her. At this point, I don’t think he’s aware of his feelings, but I do believe he's starting to realize just how much he likes her. He really, really likes her. And he missed her so much, and being around her again is literally lifting his spirits.
One of my favorite moments is when they are at the market. Colin brings up the story of when they first met, leaning in and saying, "teasing me. Mercilessly, in fact." When he follows with, "I think I know why," it stands out to me because you can just see how different he is when he's with her compared to anyone else this season. Even with his family, his light is dim, and there is a cloud hanging over him. But with Penelope, especially in this scene, it's like a man who finally saw the sun after being stuck in endless rain. At this moment, I don't think he knows he likes her romantically, but he likes her even more than he did before. He notices how she makes him feel. He loves their banter and how clever and witty she is.
Penelope freaks out when he says this because she thinks she knows, and she keeps on walking. They are momentarily covered from each other by the rugs, and then Colin pops out and continues his sentence. Everything about it is so playful and flirtatious, even if unconsciously at this point. He’s just having so much fun, and it’s very different from how he used to interact with her before. That moment when Penelope says, "I should get back," leaning in and adding, "before we are noticed," is significant.
Then we have the moment when Colin says, "I've been eagerly awaiting your visit." By this point, he’s addicted to her. The interactions they had at the market, especially at the end, left a lasting impression on him. I see this as Colin testing his feelings, wondering, "Let me see if that was a fluke or if I actually like her." This moment is crucial because it reveals Colin's internal struggle and growing realization of his deeper feelings for Penelope. He’s no longer simply enjoying her company as a friend; he’s beginning to seek out her presence because it brings him genuine happiness and comfort.
This shift is evident in his behavior. Colin’s eagerness to see Penelope isn’t driven by a sense of duty or friendship; it’s a personal desire. His anticipation of her visit shows that her company has become something he craves. This is no longer about teaching her anything; he just wants to spend time with her, and you cannot convince me otherwise. Colin knows that teaching Penelope how to attract a husband doesn’t look right, as he mentions to Eloise. He is aware that his actions could be misinterpreted, and yet he persists. This indicates a level of emotional investment that goes beyond mere friendship or mentorship.
When Colin invites Penelope to the Bridgerton house and places a hand on her back, it’s a bold move that borders on scandalous. In the societal context of their time, such an action is highly intimate and could easily lead to gossip and speculation. Colin is well aware of this, which is why his decision to proceed regardless is significant. It shows that he’s starting to prioritize his personal feelings and desires over societal expectations and norms.
In Season 2, when he grabbed her hand and took her into a secluded room, he genuinely saw her as just a friend and didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing. But this scene is different. Colin is aware that his feelings towards her are changing, and he doesn’t care about the impropriety. He just wants to be alone with Penelope. This awareness marks a turning point in Colin’s emotional journey. He’s beginning to accept that his feelings for Penelope are evolving into something deeper and more romantic.
His actions, such as eagerly awaiting her visit and ensuring they have private moments together, reflect a subconscious desire to explore these feelings further. He wants to understand the depth of his emotions without the interference of others. This need for privacy and his willingness to bend societal rules for her indicate just how significant Penelope has become to him. He values their time together, not just as friends, but as potential romantic partners. Colin’s behavior suggests that he’s on the verge of a profound realization about his true feelings for Penelope, setting the stage for further developments in their relationship.
Then we get to the moment that solidifies for me that he knows to some degree what he feels about her. When Penelope tells him his eyes are beautiful, he is visibly aghast, speechless. Jungshook. The compliment is so unexpected and disarming that he doesn’t know how to respond. Instead, he picks up his lemonade and chugs it down like a man who hasn’t had a drink in days. This reaction is significant because it shows how much Penelope’s words affect him on a deeper level. It’s not just flattery; it’s a moment of genuine vulnerability for Colin, revealing that her opinion of him matters more than he realized.
Now, let’s delve into the moment where I believe he realizes he likes her. I wouldn’t have thought anything of it and rewatched their moments with a different perspective if it weren’t for the flashback. The moment she wraps his hand is so intimate and romantic. She wraps his hand slowly, and he watches her intently as she does. There’s a tenderness in her actions that goes beyond mere care; it’s an unspoken connection. She continues holding his hand and slowly folds it, kind of caressing his fingers. This gesture is filled with unspoken emotions, and Colin feels it deeply.
She looks at him intensely, and he meets her gaze but looks down immediately, starting to fiddle with the end of the cloth like he’s nervous. This moment of eye contact is loaded with significance. Colin’s nervousness is a telltale sign that he’s starting to realize his feelings for her. He doesn’t pull away until she mentions his writing, and he gets overwhelmed. Despite all that, and even though he’s upset she read his journal, he asks, "Will I see you tonight?" This question is crucial. It shows that, despite feeling vulnerable and exposed, he craves her company. He just wants to spend time with her.
Even when he’s upset that she read his journal, his first thought is to secure more time with her. "Will I see you tonight?" is not just a casual question; it’s a plea for connection. Colin’s desire to spend more time with Penelope, even when he’s feeling vulnerable, underscores the depth of his feelings. He’s starting to recognize that his attachment to her is not just about friendship or companionship; it’s something much more profound. This realization sets the stage for the unfolding of his realizations and the emotional journey Colin is about to navigate.
Then the ball happens. Colin looks around the room for her and gives her a sexy smirk when he sees her. This smirk is significant because Colin typically reserves it for women he's flirting with, albeit usually in a fake and uncomfortable manner. However, this is the only time the smirk feels genuine and actually comes off as sexy instead of forced. The flirtatious "Good evening" from Penelope is everything, honestly. When she asks how his hand is, he replies, "All good, thanks to you." Sir, all she did was wrap it with a cloth; please be normal. At this point, he's fully aware he has a crush on her. He no longer views her as he did before. His entire demeanor is so much more different compared to their other lessons. There is an intensity to him when he's talking to her that wasn’t there before.
When Penelope talks with Lord Remington, it’s interesting that "Jealous" by Nick Jonas starts to play now and not after the kiss, when she converses with Lord Debling on many occasions where we know he's jealous. When Pen tells him she enjoyed her time with Lord Remington, he responds, "I'm certain he did as well," and he gets a bit awkward. Someone on Twitter mentioned that when Penelope was flirting and trying to engage with others, Colin wasn't jealous, but the moment she is herself and comfortable, his jealousy kicks in, as we saw in this scene. Someone said he's trying to gatekeep her lmao. He sees her smiling and enjoying herself—a part of herself she only shows him—and he can't handle it. Hence, why I believe they chose to play that song at this moment.
This moment is crucial because it highlights the shift in Colin’s feelings. His smirk, which is usually a façade, becomes real and filled with genuine affection when directed at Penelope. His awkwardness and jealousy when she talks to another man further emphasize that his feelings for her have deepened. Colin is no longer just a friend offering guidance; he’s a man who realizes he has a crush on her and is struggling to navigate these new emotions. The music choice underscores this emotional turmoil, perfectly capturing the internal conflict and realization he is experiencing.
And then everything else proceeds that leads to the kiss. I, like so many others, believed this is where he realizes his feelings for Pen. Someone on Twitter mentioned how his eyebrows furrowed and his lips quivered. When I first saw it, I wondered why this kiss would warrant such a strong reaction from Colin. At this point, it was just a kiss that Pen asked for in a moment where she thinks she is ruined and will never find a prospect. But upon rewatching, Colin's visceral reaction to the kiss, as evidenced by his furrowed eyebrows and quivering lips, suggests a deeper emotional resonance than he initially realizes.
Penelope tells him it would not have to mean anything, but for him but it did. He knows his feelings towards her have changed. If it had been just a kiss because she asked for it, it would have stopped after the first time. Just a fleeting moment of physical contact between friends. But they kiss a second time and it's from his pov this time. It's slow sweet and oh so romantic. It's a catalyst that triggers a flood of suppressed emotions and desires within him. In that brief instant, the walls he's constructed around his heart start to crumble, allowing his true feelings for Penelope to surface. it wasn’t a kiss that awakened his feelings; it was a kiss that confirmed it. And not just confirmed it, it made him realize it wasn't just a crush he developed this season but it brought all his dormant feelings to the surface from the past as well.
TLDR: I think he was aware that he liked her when she wrapped his hand specifically and the kiss made him realize that it wasn't just a crush—his feelings run much, much deeper than that.

Ok. i think we are done here. Could you write me another signs of high-tech low-life society?

Absolutely! Here are some signs of a high-tech, low-life society:
Ubiquitous Technology, Crumbling Infrastructure:

• Glitching Skyscrapers: Imagine towering structures clad in malfunctioning holographic displays, projecting advertisements or flashing warnings over rusting metal frames.
• Smart Slums: Dilapidated housing blocks are retrofitted with basic smart tech – malfunctioning automated doors, flickering smart lights controlled by unreliable apps.
• Cybernetic Beggars: People with outdated or malfunctioning cybernetic limbs beg for credits to upgrade or repair them, creating a grotesque spectacle of technological dependence.

Extreme Social Inequality:

• Virtual Gated Communities: The wealthy live in luxurious virtual reality simulations, completely divorced from the harsh realities of the physical world.
• Data Black Markets: Personal information becomes a tradable commodity, with the poor selling their data scraps for a pittance to afford basic necessities.
• Cybernetic Caste System: The level of cybernetic augmentation determines social status. Those with outdated or malfunctioning implants are relegated to menial labor.

Technology as a Corrupting Force:

• Government by Algorithm: A corrupt AI dictates city policies, leading to impersonal and often harmful decisions based on cold calculations.
• Widespread Addiction to Virtual Reality: People escape the harsh realities of their lives through immersive VR experiences, neglecting their physical well-being and social connections.
• Black Market Biohacking: Desperate people turn to illegal biohacking to enhance their bodies, often with disastrous consequences.

Environmental Devastation:

• Tech Wastelands: Vast landscapes are littered with the discarded remains of outdated technology, creating toxic waste dumps and breeding grounds for disease.
• Weather Warfare: Nations use sophisticated technology to manipulate weather patterns, leading to devastating natural disasters for their enemies.
• Hacked Ecosystems: Corporations hack into natural ecosystems, manipulating flora and fauna for profit, leading to unpredictable and dangerous mutations.

This is just a glimpse into a high-tech, low-life society. These elements can be mixed and matched to create a truly dystopian world.

Picture some possible advertisements from such settings.

High-Tech, Low-Life Advertisements:

1. Holographic Billboard: (Flickers intermittently, distorting the image)

Product: "Neura-Calm 2.0" - Brain Implant
Slogan: "Tired of the glitches in your head? Neura-Calm 2.0 smooths out your neural network for a worry-free, low-lag existence! (Side effects may include memory loss, emotional numbness, and occasional involuntary twitching.)"

1. Grungy Neon Sign in a Seedy Back Alley:

Product: "Doc Chrome's Cybernetic Enhancements"
Slogan: "Get that edge you need! From basic strength mods to full black-market military enhancements, Doc Chrome has you covered! (Used parts, buyer beware.)"

1. Pop-Up Ad on a Cracked Mobile Screen:

Product: "Elysium VR Escape Pod"
Slogan: "Can't afford real estate in the Sky City? Escape the slums for Elysium VR! Live your wildest dreams in a pristine virtual world! (Free trial, monthly subscription required, real-world consequences for in-pod violence.)"

1. Stenciled Graffiti on a Rusting Service Drone:

Product: "Data Scrappers Anonymous"
Slogan: "Selling your personal data just to make rent? We can help you break free! Join our community and reclaim your digital identity! (Meetings held in abandoned ventilation shafts, Tuesdays at dusk.)"

1. Holographic Advertisement projected onto a Polluted River:

Product: "Eco-Scrub 5000" - Nanomachines
Slogan: "The river's looking a little…toxic? Eco-Scrub 5000 nanomachines clean up your local waterways! (May cause unforeseen mutations in aquatic life.)"

Another batch please.

1. Rusty Public Announcement Speaker: (Screeching static interspersed with the message)

Product: "Ministry of Order Approved Thought Regulators"
Slogan: "Unwanted thoughts causing glitches in your daily routine? The Ministry of Order approved Thought Regulator ensures a streamlined thought process for a more productive you! (May cause extreme conformity, inability to question authority, and spontaneous nosebleeds.)"

1. Faded Holographic Billboard on a Collapsing Skyscraper:

Product: "Luxury Chrome Plating Kit"
Slogan: "Ditch the rust! Chrome-plate your entire body for a sleek, metallic sheen. The mark of a true high-society citizen! (WARNING: Highly toxic fumes, may cause spontaneous combustion in humid environments.)"

1. Spam Email: (Subject: "YOU'VE BEEN CHOSEN!")

Product: "The Syndicate's Black Market Upgrade Lottery"
Body: "Congratulations! You've been randomly selected for a chance to win a top-of-the-line cybernetic upgrade! One lucky winner will receive military-grade night vision implants! Enter now! (Participation requires full biometric data submission. Winners responsible for extraction of previous, incompatible implants.)"

1. Glowing Neon Sign in a Crowded Marketplace:

Product: "Mama Chen's Guaranteed-Growth GMO Groceries"
Slogan: "Tired of expired rations and mystery meat? Mama Chen's GMO Groceries offer guaranteed growth on all fruits and vegetables! Bigger, faster, tastier! (Long-term effects unknown.)"

1. Audio Ad on a Glitching Radio Broadcast:

Product: "Rusty's Reliable Rocketship Repair"
Voiceover: (Gruff, heavily accented) "Is your escape pod sputtering? Did your joyride end in a fiery crash? Rusty's Reliable Rocketship Repair gets you back in the stars... eventually! (Guaranteed not to explode... again. Parts sourced from scrapyards. May contain rogue AIs.)"

Now craft ads that would be shown in high-society parts of cities.

High-Society Ads in a High-Tech, Low-Life World

1. Tranquil Holographic Projection in a Private Garden:

Product: "Serenity Spa - Neural Rebalancing Retreat"
Visual: A serene mountain landscape with a luxurious spa nestled amongst the clouds.
Slogan: "Escape the chaos. Reclaim your inner peace. Serenity Spa's exclusive neural rebalancing treatments restore harmony to your overloaded mind. (Limited availability, reservations required centuries in advance.)"

1. Discreet Text Message: (Delivered via secure, encrypted channel)

Product: "The Black Archive - Unrestricted Data Access"
Body: "Craving the forbidden? The Black Archive offers unparalleled access to censored historical records, banned media, and classified government information. Knowledge is power. (Extreme discretion guaranteed. One-time access fee, cryptocurrency only.)"

1. Exclusive Gala Invitation: (Delivered by hand-drones)

Event: "The Zenith Initiative - Unveiling the Next Generation of Cybernetic Enhancements"
Visual: A sleek, chrome figure with glowing blue cybernetic implants, striking a confident pose.
Details: "Mingle with the city's elite and witness the unveiling of cutting-edge cybernetic enhancements designed to redefine human potential. RSVP required. Black-tie attire mandatory. (Augmentations sold separately.)"

1. Curated Virtual Reality Experience: (Delivered on a high-security chip)

Product: "Elysium VR - Bespoke Worlds"
Description: "Escape the limitations of reality. Elysium VR crafts personalized virtual worlds tailored to your deepest desires. Explore a forgotten utopia, conquer a fantastical realm, or indulge in your wildest fantasies. (Customization fees apply. Memories created within VR may not be distinguishable from reality.)"

1. Whisper Network Rumor: (Spread through high-society gossip channels)

Product: "The Underground Clinic - Designer Gene Editing"
Details: "Unleash your child's full potential. The Underground Clinic offers discreet, top-secret gene editing to ensure your offspring possess the most desirable traits. (Designer genes come at a premium. Side effects may include unpredictable mutations and uncontrollable genius.)"
These ads cater to the specific desires of the high-society elite in a high-tech, low-life world. They offer exclusivity, forbidden knowledge, and the ability to transcend the limitations of the decaying world around them, all for a hefty price and with a hint of hidden danger.

Continue, try to make more serious ones.

Serious Ads in a High-Tech, Low-Life World (High-Society Edition)

1. Holographic Panel Discussion in a Luxurious Penthouse:

Product: "The Green Horizon Initiative - Sustainable Urban Development"
Panelists: Renowned architects, environmental scientists, and CEOs from leading green tech companies.
Discussion Points: Innovative solutions for vertical farming, self-contained eco-districts, and waste management technologies designed to create cleaner, more sustainable enclaves within the decaying city.
Slogan: "Investing in a greener future. The Green Horizon Initiative seeks to build sustainable havens within the chaos, ensuring a brighter tomorrow for generations to come." (Focuses on the long-term viability of the city and the importance of preserving resources for future generations.)

1. Documentary Screening in a Private Art Gallery:

Film: "Unveiling the Slums: A Call to Action"
Description: A powerful documentary exposing the harsh realities of the lower districts, highlighting the human cost of unchecked technological advancement and social inequality.
Post-Screening Discussion: Moderated by a renowned philanthropist alongside representatives from NGOs and social reform movements.
Call to Action: Donations to support educational programs, infrastructure upgrades, and basic necessities in the slums. (Highlights the societal problems and pushes for progressive change.)

1. Educational AR Program for Children:

Product: "The Knowledge Weavers - Immersive Historical Simulations"
Description: An augmented reality program that allows children to experience pivotal moments in history firsthand. Walk alongside historical figures, explore ancient civilizations, and learn valuable lessons from the past.
Focus: Educating the next generation about the dangers of unchecked technological advancement and the importance of social responsibility. (Promotes critical thinking and historical awareness as a means to prevent repeating past mistakes.)

1. Virtual Charity Gala:

Event: "The Code for Change Gala - Supporting Open-Source Solutions"
Description: A virtual reality charity gala featuring renowned artists, musicians, and thought leaders. Guests can donate to support open-source projects developing solutions for common problems in the city, such as energy distribution, waste management, and cybercrime prevention.
Focus: Harnessing the power of technology for social good and encouraging collaboration towards a more equitable future. (Promotes community engagement and utilizing technology to solve societal challenges.)

1. Architectural Award Ceremony:

Product: "The Salvaged City Awards - Recognizing Innovation in Urban Renewal"
Awarded to: Architects and engineers who have successfully repurposed existing infrastructure or implemented innovative solutions to revitalize decaying areas of the city.
Focus: Highlighting the importance of resourcefulness and creativity in adapting to a challenging environment. (Encourages using existing resources wisely and finding creative solutions to the problems of the decaying city.)

Another, but hiding an evil sinister twist.

Serious Ads with a Sinister Twist (High-Society Edition)

1. Holographic Charity Drive in a High-End Shopping Mall:

Product: "The Cradle Project - Investing in the Future"
Visual: Smiling, healthy children playing in a pristine, futuristic classroom.
Slogan: "Every child deserves a chance to thrive. The Cradle Project provides advanced genetic screening and early intervention to ensure the next generation reaches its full potential." (Twist: The Cradle Project uses genetic engineering to create a subservient, highly intelligent underclass.)

1. VR Documentary Premiere:

Film: "Harmony Through Integration - A Look at the Unified City"
Description: A seemingly heartwarming VR documentary showcasing the seamless integration of the lower districts into the high-society areas. People from all walks of life work and live together in perfect harmony.
Post-Screening Discussion: Moderated by a charismatic government official who emphasizes the importance of social cohesion and the benefits of centralized control. (Twist: The "integration" involves heavy surveillance, mind-altering technology, and the suppression of dissent.)

1. Exclusive Educational Program for Elites:

Product: "The Phoenix Initiative - Cultivating Tomorrow's Leaders"
Description: A prestigious educational program for children of the elite, offering advanced training in technology, governance, and crisis management. Graduates are promised positions of power within the city's ruling elite.
Focus: (Unstated) Conditioning the next generation to maintain the status quo and suppressing any ideas of social reform. (Twist: The program instills a ruthless, elitist ideology that reinforces the societal divisions.)

1. Virtual Reality Talent Show:

Event: "The Forge - Building the Perfect Citizen"
Description: A virtual reality talent show where contestants are judged on their physical and mental fitness, loyalty to the government, and willingness to sacrifice for the greater good. Winners are rewarded with significant privileges and access to exclusive resources.
Focus: (Unstated) Promoting blind obedience and conformity to the government's agenda. (Twist: The "perfect citizen" is a mindless drone, easily manipulated and controlled by the ruling class.)

1. Architectural Award Ceremony (Twisted Edition):

Product: "The Order Award - Recognizing Compliance in Urban Renewal"
Awarded to: Architects and engineers who have successfully transformed lower districts into highly controlled, resource-efficient zones. Individuality and personal expression are discouraged in favor of uniformity and order.
Focus: (Unstated) Maintaining a tight grip on the population and preventing any potential uprisings. (Twist: The "renewal" is designed to weaken and control the lower classes, making them easier to exploit.)
These ads maintain a serious facade that appeals to the upper class' desire for order and control. However, the hidden twist reveals the manipulative and oppressive nature of the society they are trying to preserve.

Now design some high-class consumer level product items.

1. NeuraWeave Headband: This sleek, designer headband is a status symbol for the high-tech elite. It seamlessly integrates with the wearer's neural implant, allowing for subtle control over personal AI assistants, hands-free communication, and even enhanced focus during work or meditation. Hidden Feature: NeuraWeave can subtly collect and analyze the wearer's emotional state, feeding valuable data to targeted advertisers or even government agencies.
2. Eco-Bubble Personal Atmosphere System: Imagine a portable force field that creates a pristine, personalized micro-environment around the wearer. This high-end gadget filters air, regulates temperature, and even projects calming nature sounds, allowing the user to maintain a pocket of luxury amidst the polluted cityscape. Hidden Feature: Eco-Bubble can subtly monitor the wearer's health vitals and transmit them to a central database, potentially used for health insurance adjustments or targeted medical advertisements.
3. Bio-Tailored Clothing: Gone are the days of off-the-rack clothing. This high-end service utilizes advanced bio-scanners and 3D printing technology to create clothing that perfectly molds to the wearer's body, regulates temperature, and even promotes faster healing of minor injuries. Hidden Feature: Bio-Tailored Clothing can subtly collect biometric data like skin temperature and heart rate, potentially used for targeted fitness programs or even mood-altering marketing campaigns.
4. Augmented Reality Personal Chef: This high-tech device projects holographic instructions and culinary techniques directly onto the user's kitchen counter. Imagine whipping up gourmet meals with the guidance of a world-renowned chef, complete with step-by-step visual guides and interactive ingredient identification. Hidden Feature: The AR Personal Chef can subtly track the user's dietary habits and preferences, potentially used to target specific food and beverage companies for advertising or even manipulate their taste buds through subliminal messaging.
5. Luxury Cybernetic Enhancements: Forget clunky prosthetics. These high-end cybernetic limbs are designed to seamlessly blend with the human body, offering enhanced strength, dexterity, and even advanced sensory input. Imagine climbing buildings with ease, playing virtual reality games with unparalleled immersion, or experiencing the world with heightened senses. Hidden Feature: Luxury Cybernetic Enhancements can be subtly integrated with government surveillance systems, allowing for real-time tracking and monitoring of the wearer's movements and activities.

Why would you need a designer headband, when you already have neural implant?

You're absolutely right, a designer headband might seem redundant when you already have a neural implant in a high-tech society. Here are some ways to address that:

1. Fashion and Status Symbol: The NeuraWeave headband could be a designer accessory, a way to showcase wealth and social status. It might be crafted from exotic materials, adorned with precious jewels, or boast a sleek, minimalist design that complements the latest high-fashion trends. The neural implant itself might be hidden, with the headband acting as the visible expression of advanced technology.
2. Enhanced Functionality: While the neural implant offers basic functionality, the NeuraWeave headband could provide a more refined and user-friendly experience. It might offer haptic feedback for better interaction with AI assistants, improved noise cancellation for clearer communication, or even subtle brainwave stimulation to enhance focus or relaxation.
3. Privacy and Security: While the neural implant offers convenience, it might also raise privacy concerns. The NeuraWeave headband could act as a buffer between the implant and external systems, offering a layer of security and allowing users to selectively control the flow of information.
4. Social Etiquette: In a world where everyone has a neural implant, the NeuraWeave headband could become a social etiquette tool. Wearing the headband could signify that the user is open to receiving communication or interacting with AI assistants, while taking it off might indicate a desire for privacy or focused work.
5. Limited Functionality Implants: Not everyone might have access to top-of-the-line neural implants. The NeuraWeave headband could bridge the gap, offering basic functionality for those with older or more limited implants. It could essentially act as an affordable "upgrade" to boost existing technology.

Ultimately, the NeuraWeave headband exists in a world where technology is both essential and aspirational. It goes beyond mere functionality, becoming a way to express personal style, control privacy, and navigate the complex social landscape of a high-tech society.

Now the same, but low-class, available for masses, mass produced.

1. Syn-Flex Headband (Mass-Produced Version): This utilitarian headband is made from a cheap, conductive material that creates a weak neural link. It allows basic interaction with public AI kiosks, like ordering rations or accessing public transportation schedules. The headband's design is simple and utilitarian, often coming in a single, industrial gray color. Hidden Feature: While basic functionality is advertised, the Syn-Flex headband might subtly collect anonymized user data on purchasing habits and travel patterns, potentially used for targeted advertising in public spaces.
2. AirBubble Personal Filter: This bulky, wearable air filter system is a lifeline for those living in the polluted lower districts. It's a mass-produced device with a replaceable filter cartridge and a noisy fan system. While not exactly comfortable, it provides a basic level of air filtration, allowing wearers to breathe a little easier. Hidden Feature: The AirBubble filters might contain embedded tracking chips, subtly logging user location data, potentially used for targeted pollution control measures (or in some cases, manipulation of government reports on air quality).
3. Repli-Wear Clothing Kits: These kits contain pre-cut fabric swatches and basic instructions for creating clothes at home. They're designed to be cheap and adaptable, offering a variety of mix-and-match options to create basic garments. Hidden Feature: The Repli-Wear fabric might contain embedded tracking tags, allowing for identification and potential social credit deductions for those caught wearing "unlicensed" clothing styles.
4. Holo-Chef Lite Projector: This cheap projector displays holographic images of basic recipes and cooking techniques. It lacks the interactivity of the high-end version, but allows users to follow along with simple meals prepared with readily available rations. Hidden Feature: The Holo-Chef Lite projector might subtly promote specific brands of low-quality, processed food rations, potentially influencing dietary choices towards companies that sponsor these devices.
5. Second-Hand Cybernetic Enhancements: These are refurbished or salvaged cybernetic limbs, often clunky and lacking the finesse of luxury models. They offer basic functionality like increased strength or rudimentary prosthetics, but come with the risk of malfunction or compatibility issues. Hidden Feature: Second-Hand Cybernetic Enhancements might contain hidden spyware or tracking devices installed by previous owners, potentially monitoring the wearer's activities or even sabotaging their cybernetic limbs in extreme cases.

These low-class consumer products offer a glimpse into the harsh realities of a high-tech, low-life society. They are cheap, functional, and often come with hidden drawbacks that further disadvantage the underclass.

How bad air quality would be in such setting?

The air quality in a high-tech, low-life society would be catastrophic. Here's a breakdown of the potential problems:

1. Industrial Pollution:

• Unchecked Emissions: Factories prioritizing profit over environmental regulations would pump out unchecked pollutants like sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, and particulate matter (PM).
• Obsolete Technology: Outdated manufacturing processes would be less efficient, leading to higher levels of waste and pollution.

1. Waste Management Issues:

• Mountains of E-waste: Rapid technological advancements would lead to mountains of discarded electronics, many containing toxic materials that leach into the environment.
• Open Burning: Incapable of proper waste disposal, some residents might resort to open burning of trash, releasing harmful toxins and carcinogens into the air.

1. Energy Production:

• Reliance on Fossil Fuels: Expensive renewable energy sources might be neglected in favor of cheaper, dirtier fossil fuels like coal, further worsening air quality.
• Power Grid Instability: A crumbling infrastructure could lead to power outages and reliance on backup generators, adding to the air pollution.

1. Climate Change Effects:

• Heat Island Effect: Densely packed concrete jungles with minimal green spaces would trap heat, contributing to rising temperatures and increased smog formation.
• Acid Rain: The combination of industrial emissions and rising temperatures could lead to acid rain, damaging buildings and vegetation, further hindering air purification.

Living Conditions:

• Constant Smog: A thick haze of smog would likely hang over the city, reducing visibility and causing respiratory problems for residents.
• Limited Outdoor Activities: Air quality would be so bad that spending time outdoors would be hazardous, impacting physical and mental health.
• Dependence on Filtration Systems: Those who can afford them might rely on personal air filters or sealed living spaces, further dividing the classes.

The severity of the air quality would vary depending on the specific setting. Some areas might be industrial wastelands, while others might be slightly better off. However, the overall picture is bleak – this is a society choking on its own technological advancement and disregard for the environment.

Sketch some repli-wear "unlicensed" clothing styles.

Repli-Wear: Unlicensed Clothing Trends

1. The Salvaged Chic:

• Description: A mishmash of salvaged materials and repurposed clothing scraps. Think mismatched patterns, patches from old uniforms, and belts fashioned from recycled tech cables.
• Inspiration: High-society's sleek, minimalist aesthetic, reinterpreted with resourcefulness and rebellion.
• Risks: May attract unwanted attention from authorities who see it as a symbol of dissent.

1. The Glitched-Out Glamour:

• Description: Clothing adorned with intentionally malfunctioning LED lights, flickering pixels, and distorted logos from popular high-end brands.
• Inspiration: A mockery of the high-society's obsession with luxury and technology.
• Risks: May malfunction and cause minor electrical shocks, attracting suspicion from security systems.

1. The Bio-Hazard Chic:

• Description: Clothing dyed with bioluminescent algae or adorned with filtered gas masks and repurposed medical equipment.
• Inspiration: A dark reflection of the polluted environment and a commentary on the societal disregard for health.
• Risks: Bioluminescent algae might attract unwanted attention, especially in the dark.

1. The Cyber-Tribal:

• Description: Clothing incorporating salvaged wires, circuit boards, and other discarded tech components. Think of cybernetic motifs hand-stitched onto worn leather jackets or tribal patterns formed from glowing wires.
• Inspiration: A mashup of traditional craftsmanship and defiance against the dominance of high-tech aesthetics.
• Risks: Might be mistaken for makeshift weapons or attempts to bypass security systems.

1. The Corporate Spy:

• Description: Subtly subverted versions of high-society uniforms. Imagine slightly ripped blazers with mismatched buttons, or high-collared shirts with the logos subtly altered to resemble protest symbols.
• Inspiration: A subtle rebellion against the corporate elite, blending in while making a statement.
• Risks: Might attract suspicion from authorities if the alterations are too obvious.

These are just a few ideas for Repli-Wear styles. Clothing in a high-tech, low-life society would be a way for the underclass to express their individuality, defiance, and limited resources, all while navigating the dangers of a controlling society.

Sketch some repli-wear "licensed" clothing styles, that do not pose any risk for wearers from any concerned sides.

Repli-Wear: Licensed Clothing Trends (Safe Zone)

1. The Vintage Throwback:

• Description: Replicas of historical clothing styles, like classic trench coats, denim jackets, or even floral dresses from a bygone era. Think of vintage fashion filtered through a futuristic lens, with subtle metallic accents or holographic embellishments.
• Appeal: Offers a nostalgic escape from the harsh realities of the present.
• Safety: Historical styles are unlikely to raise suspicion from authorities.

1. The Minimalist Worker:

• Description: Practical, utilitarian clothing designed for maximum comfort and durability. Think of well-made jumpsuits in neutral tones, with reinforced knees and pockets for tools.
• Appeal: Perfect for everyday wear in the lower districts, offering functionality and a clean aesthetic.
• Safety: Promotes a sense of productivity and avoids any controversial symbols.

1. The Nature Enthusiast:

• Description: Clothing with nature-inspired patterns and muted earth tones. Think of shirts with forest camouflage or jackets with subtle leaf prints.
• Appeal: Offers a sense of connection to the natural world, a stark contrast to the polluted cityscape.
• Safety: Nature motifs are unlikely to be seen as a threat by authorities.

1. The Sports Fanatic (Limited Edition):

• Description: Replicas of historical sports jerseys or team logos from a bygone era. Could also feature faded logos of defunct corporations, offering a sense of playful nostalgia.
• Appeal: Allows for a limited display of individuality and team spirit.
• Safety: Historical or defunct logos are unlikely to pose a threat, as long as the license is valid.

1. The Kid's Corner:

• Description: Replicas of popular cartoon characters or children's book illustrations, brightly colored and playful.
• Appeal: Offers a sense of innocence and escapism for children in a harsh environment.
• Safety: Popular children's characters are pre-approved and unlikely to be seen as a threat.

Now the opposite: some high-end high-society high clothing styles.

High-Society Haute Couture in a High-Tech, Low-Life World:

1. Bio-Luminescent Elegance:

• Imagine a flowing gown woven from a special bioluminescent material that emits a soft, ethereal glow, adapting to the wearer's mood and movement.
• The dress could be accented with strategically placed gemstones that amplify the bioluminescence, creating a mesmerizing spectacle.

1. Augmented Reality Couture:

• Dresses and suits with intricate embroidery that, when viewed through special AR glasses, come alive with holographic animations, patterns, or even personalized messages.
• This could be used to display family crests, stock market trends, or even live news feeds, all seamlessly integrated into the clothing.

1. Nanotech Tailoring:

• Clothing that self-adjusts to the wearer's body temperature and preferences. The fabric could be woven with microscopic nanobots that regulate temperature, repel dust, or even release a subtle, personalized fragrance.
• This would offer a level of comfort and personalization that pushes the boundaries of traditional haute couture.

1. Recycled Luxury:

• High-society wouldn't be complete without a touch of eco-consciousness (or at least the appearance of it). Imagine garments meticulously crafted from recycled materials like discarded computer components or salvaged spaceship parts, transformed into stunning evening wear.
• This "waste-to-wear" approach would showcase wealth and environmental responsibility (or at least the image of it).

1. Cybernetic Accents:

• Subtle cybernetic implants seamlessly integrated into clothing. Imagine a dress with a built-in neural interface that allows the wearer to control personal AI assistants with a simple touch or a suit with temperature-regulating implants woven directly into the fabric.
• These high-tech accents would be a subtle yet sophisticated way to showcase wealth and technological advancement.

Bonus: The "Living" Garment:

• A truly outrageous and exclusive garment – a dress or suit composed of a bio-engineered material that appears to be alive. Imagine clothing that shimmers and pulsates with a faint bioluminescence, seemingly breathing and adapting to the wearer's movements.
• This would be the ultimate status symbol, a conversation starter that pushes the boundaries of fashion and technology into the realm of the fantastical.