Quotes about not loving boyfriend anymore

I (17nb) have a best friend (17m). I can't quite remember how long ago we met but I'd say we've known each other for around two years now. I had and still have a crush on him which has developed into deeper feelings. I told him I had a crush on him and his response was "You're my best friend and I really care about you, but I don't think there's any romantic feelings" which was like 7 months ago. I accepted he didn't feel the same but then mixed messages and weird signs keep popping up. He's never been a very physically affectionate person so naturally, I've always steered away from smoothering him. But for the last few months he's been very affectionate. I don't mind it, I like physical touch but I'm just confused when it comes to him. He always likes to hold my hand when we walk, there's been a couple times where he randomly kissed my hand or arm. He loves lying in my lap, like when we visit and we're hanging out that's mostly where he likes to be. We've also had a couple sleepovers where we spend the night cuddling. Now, I'm aware all these things could be platonic but it doesn't feel platonic. We also flirt a lot. He makes a lot of comments about wanting me to engage in sexual activities with him (idk if I'll get censored for that) which I respond positively to and occasionally makes comments about my ass. He sends me videos directed towards couples and says something like "this is us." He always tells me he misses me and says "I wish you were with me right now." He also always tells me how much he loves me and recently has been using petnames such as "love, my love, baby" stuff like that. I'm pretty sure his parents think we're dating, his parents don't like us being unsupervised which is odd for just friends. His friends also used to assume we're dating and one even said he constantly talks about me. I asked one of my friends for advice and he said the way this guy acts with me is almost identical to how he interacts with his official boyfriend. I know these could be platonic things, I have a family friend who's like a sister to me and her and I use petnames, but this just feels different. I know he told me there's no romantic feelings but all these messages are so mixed and I'm so confused. These feelings are only getting more intense and I am literally going insane. I don't want to ruin our friendship, he's my best friend and the last thing I want is to lose him. I'm not sure if he does have feelings for me and is just in serious denial or he genuinely doesn't realize how non-platonic all this is. He generally isn't an affectionate person so I'm confused as to why he's acting more affectionate than even I am. Not sure if this is his way of expressing love to his best friend and I'm reading it wrong. But I really like him and I'm not sure how much longer I can carry on like this. Any advice is deeply appreciated.
TL;DR: my best friend is giving several mixed messages and I'm not sure what to do.

I feel like I can’t do this anymore. Why can’t I do anything? I was diagnosed with absence and grand mal seizures at the age of 12. Life was amazing before then, I did really well in school and I was also doing pretty well in sports and won almost every competition and my coach saw a really bright future in me, I was very active and I saw my friends almost every day. After my diagnosis it was ok at first, and my neurologist was positive that my seizures would be gone by the time I would turn 18 and he and my parents kept telling me with confidence that this would not affect my life and that I would be able to do everything that I wanted to do, finish school, work, drive, live an independent life and tend to my interests and hobbies. But then as the years went on it just got slowly worse, it really hit at the age of 16, I had to completely drop out of school for a semester because my seizures got severe under any slight stress or pressure. After that I couldn’t attend school fully or take as many classes making me finish school much later than my peers. I could no longer compete in my sport even though I wanted to so badly, I could barely see my friends as much as I wanted to because three classes a semester drained every last drop of my energy, and if I did my seizures came back. I have tried so many different medication, none can control my seizures fully, I have daily absence seizures no matter what. In 2022 I started Uni and I took only 2 classes per semester it worked pretty ok for the first two semesters, I also started practicing my sport again (not fully but about 3 times a week). After a year I decided to try working and started living on my own. I work part time at a really laid back job, it’s nice and I love working there. But since I started to work there last September I haven’t been able to attend school, I only have energy for work, nothing else. I barely see my friends, I can no longer practice my favourite sport and keeping my apartment clean is a struggle. I feel how my job has been slowly destroying my health and energy, and I’m not even working full time! All I do now is work, no school, no exercise, no hobbies, no social life, nothing. Because I can’t do anything except that or I start having seizures again. I am only 22 years old, all of my peers are somehow working while finishing school and go to the gym regularly all while maintaining a good social life. How can they do it? Why can’t I? I wish that I could do all of these things or at least just a little close to that. Is anyone else here that can relate or have been in a similar position? Did anyone here find a way to function better or make life slightly more tolerable? Please, I feel so helpless and I feel like I can’t do this anymore.

18M experiences weird ghosting(?) by 18F
So there’s this girl that I was talking to for like 2 months. We’re both seniors and are going to the same college so it was really easy to bond and throughout the two months we really connected with each other. Like after about a month we were mutually committed to each other and we would talk on the phone all night, talk throughout the day, and be there for each other whenever it was needed. The only real problem is that I tend to overthink a lot, as I’ve had bad anxiety issues in the past. This windiest is compounded by the fact I was played in my last relationship by a girl who said she loved me and swore she was loyal that was talking to other dudes and picked them over me. But anyways, I would try to express how the overthinking made me feel to her but I really wanted to get her on a call because other than seeing her we only exchanged voice notes and never really got on calls. This expanded my intuition and made me think I was getting played so I did some mild research. We follow each other on Ig and she has a lot upwards of a thousand followers, which also set some alarm bells off in my brain because I knew she was most likely lying that I was the only want for her and everything. Also, just through like looking at her post comments, I saw that she still had her ex bfs flirty comments up there for a while when we were talking and that she still followed him, making me think that I was possibly going to be a rebound. Also, based on her TikTok reposts, she was just starting to get over him when she told me they had been done for three months so I didn’t know what to believe. But while we were talking, me and her shared everything with each other like past trauma, current issues, and I play guitar so I would sing love songs to her or send them to her(corny Ik) so she told me that she’s been deeply traumatized in past relationships and that her ex was the worst of them all because he would use her for her body and I think she implied some abuse so I knew to be gentle with her. She also said that no guy had ever put in so much effort to talk to and understand her and that it was so different and special to her. So everything is going good and I really like this girl, like more than anyone before. And like I said, we’re going to the same college so we both like follow the college posting accounts and follow people that are going to be her classmates. So one day, I follow someone a guy in there with my major, but when I do I realize my girl already followed him. So I go back to the college account (which consists of 90% girls) and realize that she hasn’t followed a single girl on there and follows basically every guy. This makes me feel awful because just logically, on an account with 90% girls being posted, can you following every dude but no girls be considered as anything but looking for replacements or new guys to talk to? So in the heat of when I found this out, I send her a pretty stern voice note in a tone I regret asking why she’s following that ratio of girls to guys when she has deemed me as “perfect”, “the one”, and “her favorite ever” and when she’s said we’re locked in and committed and I’ve agreed. Like at this point I wasn’t even looking at other girls anymore so it was really hurtful. So she responds nds with saying she follows everyone(not true) and that I’m reading way too much into this and that she’ll unfollow if there is a problem and now she feels confused and off about me. She also said she knows I don’t trust her now. She said she was going to get gas and after that, she ignored all of my texts for a week but always viewed my stories so I knew she just didn’t want to talk to me. This really breaks my heart because she told me she wasn’t like that and she would never just leave. So after a week, she finally responded and said that “I’m sorry and that I should’ve said something and I didn’t want you to think I left so easily. I have a on my plate rn and you’re such a sweet guy and I really hope this could work in the future but I have too much rn I’m sorry.” So I respond saying that I understand I’m not the most important thing in her life and that I was sorry for making her think I didn’t trust her because I do and I just wanted to understand her pov. I also said that I want to be a safe space for her and that she can communicate that with me bc let’s be honest, no one is too busy to shoot out a 5 second text update. Plus, it was too coincidental it came after our first real negative communication. So it’s been over a week and she still hasn’t responded to me so I assume I’ve been ghosted. I miss her so much and I’ve been trying to move on but I blame myself for this so it’s harder to move on then if I got played. Was that the breakup text she sent? It hinted at the future and I know I shouldn’t take her back but I know I would because of how much I miss her. Was I out of line to question her following because I knew I probably should’ve stayed away from the topic but I wanted to communicate how it made me feel. I feel like she def got a friends opinion and then decided to ghost because she seemed more apologetic at first. Is this even a ghost and did she ever really mean what she said about me being the one for her and her favorite guy ever? I want honest opinions on the situation and please don’t just give me the move on talk. I really just can’t and I feel like I’ve messed everything up and that I may love her. Should I call her? I don’t want to seem desperate.

My boyfriend 26M and I 24F have been together on and off for about a year. It wasn’t that we didn’t want to be together when we would break up, life just kept getting in the way. Now though, things have calmed down and we are in a place where we can have a successful relationship. We have been going strong for about three months now. The only issue I still face is that his best friend doesn’t know he’s in a relationship. They talk almost every day on the phone because his friend lives very far away. When they talk, I am almost always in the same room and overhear their conversations. His friend is very against him being in a relationship.
He doesn’t think that my BF needs to be in a relationship and that he should be focusing on self improvement. What he doesn’t know is that my BF has been improving himself actively throughout the past year. The positive changes I’ve noticed since we first met are amazing. He has worked very hard to be a better version of himself, and I am so proud of him. But he doesn’t tell his friend any of it. Because he’s worried that the second he does, his friend will cut contact because he’s choosing to pursue a relationship, regardless of the changes he’s made.
This has led to their relationship becoming very superficial, and I feel like his friend doesn’t even know him anymore because he has no idea what’s going on in his life. I keep trying to encourage him to open up and be honest with his friend. But he’s really scared to lose him. I don’t hold resentment towards my BF for not telling him, but I am worried the longer he waits, the worse it will be when he inevitably finds out. We plan to get married eventually, and he wants his friend to be his best man. Which might be a little hard if he doesn’t even know I exist.
I guess what I really need is some advice here. Should I keep encouraging him to be honest about everything, or should I let him wait and tell him when he feels the time is right? Even if it ends up causing them more issues. Thanks in advance :)

So I '21M' am involved with a girl '20F' who will remain anonymous for the sake. We have been seeing eachother for 3+ years, shes my first ever relationship and really my first actual crush she made me realise love exists in general and that I was capable of feeling it.
Earlier this year things ended between us due to her believing the "spark" was missing and there wasn't that excitement anymore which was a fair thing to say as I got too comfortable but over the past few months we stayed in contact as she still said she loved me and was my best friend and that we were still right for eachother just not st the moment which I believe as well because we have always been eachothers number 1 and clearly felt strongly for eachother. We went on a date last week and it was Perfect everything was perfect and we had a sleepover but the day after she met up.sith this guy, which I knew was happening and allowed it as they were just friends, but on returning she says she doesn't know how she feels about him but he's a carbon copy of me from interests to looks to favourite foods he is just me again.
She is meeting him again next week but I am so scared that they are gonna click because its newer and more exciting than anything I can give which is what she wants but she still wants to be best friends with me. I've tried doing non contact at the initial breakup but lasted half a day due to my attachment problems.
My question is will going no contact help reignite that spark as we haven't had a single day where we havnt spoken to eachother and its caused numerous issues what is everyone's experience with giving eachother breaks to help rebuild things?

Hi I wasn't quite sure who to speak to about this so I decided to use a burner account.
So I 18F have known this guy, 18M (let's call him Connor) since we were kids. Like we have known each other since birth. Now Connor and I live about an hour away from each other and our families used to meet up a bit when we were younger. However, about 5 years ago or so our mums fell out and so we didn't see each other for 5 years. Yet a few months ago, my grandma died and as Connor's mum and my grandma were quite close. We actualy ended up meeting up because we went to visit my grandpa on the same day thatConnor went to the same area to see a play (of a GCSE text that he studies). When our families met up I was actualy taken by surprise, I remembered Connor a bit form when I was younger but of course he was all grown up now and so different than my memory. Not that I'd admit it in my teenage embarrassment but I found Connor really quite cute and after dinner, we went on a small walk round the village to just talk because we were around the same age and our parents went off to get ice cream. We talked about our schools (him going to an all boys school and ke just a public one) and how different they were. I really enjoyed talking to Connor and so when he asked if I had snapchat I of course said yes. Before this I didn't use it like at all. I didn't have any snapstreaks and only had it installed. But after this we kept on talking every day and it was really quite nice to have a friends a friends I spoke to every day.
However at some point my friend, Braleigh (17F but 18 in 2 days) found out about Connors existence because I think my friends spoke about him because ethey kept on teasing him about me (they asked what I did at the weekend and when I said I met a family friend they all made innuendos). Now Braleigh and I hadn't been friends very long but she enjoyed teasing me about Connor but after begging for weeks, I finally showed a photo of him to her and her friends (My first mistake). She said he was ugly and I couldn't really defend him because at this point I hadn't even accepted the crush myself. So time progressed and at some point around Christmas, Connor asked me to give her snaochat to me because he enjoyed teasing her when on my phone. I didn't want to but he said something like "come on don't be boring" and I stupidly accepted.
Now one thing you need to know about Braleigh is she is very good at trying to message guys. No offence to her but she isn't the most attractive but she gives attention to many guys (even in lower years) and is very well experienced. Up until this point she had been in a relationship for about a month with her first boyfriend (now ex) in the year above.
Now I wa strally worried when driving home and when he began to give slower response times than usual I began to get really worried that he was messaging her back and not me (ehich he's fine to fo its his life) but I was in denial about my feelings at this point. Now my family ended up visiting his a few weeks later just after Christmas and ge said he blocked her and we even got into an argument about him not long before. She aid I was acting "stroppy" and ignoring her (she was talking about a time I felt really sick and wanst speaking to anyone just sat with my head in my hands). She said "fine I'll block him" and I thought that was that. She playfully joked about sharing his snapchat to the people in my school because they were all interested about this "Mystery Connor, [my] boyfriend." No matter how often I told them we weren't dating, they didn't drop it (mainly because I'm not really attractive and am not really expected to find love)
Time skip to a few weeks ago. Braleigh and I fell out because some of her friends were gossiping about her behind her back. One of her friends said that it was awkward in lesson when I gave her ex-boyfriemd (This is Braighleigh's second and they had been going out for a month and a half give or take). I said yeah but wanted wanted to drop it because she'd already said the same thing in the lesson and I didn't think it wa say of our business. Now some people started calling her a slag and I think unintentionally U said something that supported that (which I would never want it to be my intention) but two days later she ended up sending me loads of accusatory texts. Now I said to her that I didn't say anything like that and it's mone of my business about her relationships. But a day later she said "why did you lie" and I just didn't want want get involved and said well I'm confused now but I'm sorry. I don't think it's best if we hang out for a bit etc. (Which is fine because she isn't even in my main group of friends she was just a good friend I had outside of that). She said good and a thought that was it. However, the next day at school, she started standing really close to me and my friends where we were stood, talking (like half a meter, it was concerning) and I could see her constantly turning to look at me in teh corner of my eye. I just ignored ignored because I'm sure it would blow over. Yet next week, a friend if mine said oh at Braighlrigh was gossiping about you behind your back. And I said well that's annoying yet she's being hippocritcial is that's what she claimed I did but oh well, it didn't affect me directly, she can do what she wants. I continued to ignore her because eif she wanted to talk then she can approach me but U have other, better friends so uts fine. I haven't spoken about her once (not yo her friends or anyone else) and it really was a thing of out of sight, out of mind situation.
Cut to today where Connor snaps me saying, somethings happening. I said in what way? He said Braghleigh added me... I said OK... and he said that she told him all of what happened and he wasn't picking sides yet. Which kind of annoyed me because me falling out with Braigheigh has nothing to do with him and now she's dragging in out. So I told him, you're great but it has nothing to to with you. And he agreed. But I can't say that I went into a shop with my family and just started stressing (to the point where tears started started fall unwillingly). And I began to feel sick. This only happened once before when Braighleigh said Connor looked fit in a photo and whilst I felt sick for the rest of the day I also pushed it to the back of my mind because she was in a relationship.
Now I know that I can't control either of their actions, they're both poeple in their own right because U really know what I want to do. I want to move on from this guy that I'm left crying over but can't seem to do it. Like I don't know what to do and haven't even been in a situation where I've liked a guy like this or this much. It genuinely make some feel ill and don't know what to do. Could someone give advice. Please and thank you :)
TL;DR

Hi! I (F, 25) just got married 6 months ago and this is STILL bothering me.. So here I am. I have been friends with this girl (we'll name her O, F, 26) since I was 10 years old with a break from ages 15 to 21 ( I moved) . We reconnected just before my 22nd birthday, which is around the time I met my husband. She had also JUST started dating her now fiance. We are two of five in a group of girls all from the same middle school and reconnected at the same time our partners into the mix. Honestly, before I got engaged there's not much of a story. I found it odd that she got a very similar dog to mine and named it something similar, almost a year to the day that I got mine, but that's like, whatever. She did a couple other little copycat things but, imitation is a form of flattery right? Anyway, my man and I get engaged and essentially, same day, choose our wedding date which was 9 weeks later (it was a significant date). Moments after getting engaged, I call the group and share the news, telling them we will most likely be getting married x day. Now, I understand it's short notice, but they're my lifelong friends and I knew, they knew they'd be bridesmaids.
O tells me she will not be able to make the wedding because she has a trip planned (is this wrong of her, because I totally understood). I make it official at my engagement party 4 weeks later and ask them to be bridesmaids, knowing O won't be present. I ask them for NOTHING. Note: they did not throw me a brunch or lunch or help with anything, nor did I expect it because it was all so quick. I told them they could wear what they want, no gifts, just be present x day, place and time. Shortly after my engagement party (wedding 4.5 weeks away) that O tells us her boyfriend has gone ring shopping. I am happy for her thinking she'll be engaged soon or SOONEST the end of her trip.
My wedding morning arrives, she sends me a congratulatory text from the airport departure lounge. My wedding day goes by. The day after my wedding goes by. I've been married now 48 hours and.. O drops "we're engaged" in the group chat. So what do I do? I call!! Of course! Because that's the least you can do when one of your closest 5 friends has a big life event. The facetime call was awkward at best, she never acknowledged my wedding even though I was still in my all white sweatsuit. She didn't seem to care that I called and her fiance couldn't be bothered, but I could have been interrupting I guess. (Note: she had the ability to call me and join the girls from wherever she was, but chose not to)
They return for their trip and I begin planning to host one of the other 5 girls' birthday party. She, of course, comes to my house for the party. This is the first time we see eachother since I'm a wife and she, a fiancée. At the time, I lived in a high rise building so I had to go down to get her. First words to her "congratulations!!!" It was not returned. Not to me or my husband all. Night. She talked about her wedding ideas and plans with my husband for no less than 30 minutes while the rest of the girls got ready. The other ladies noticed but she just didn't seem to read the room at all. I even tried by giving her a white scrunchie I got during wedding planning as a little pass along, bridal thing... In an effort to initiate some kind of conversation.
After that night, I really realize that this may have been intentional. I mean of course I thought it, but now I was really skeptical. I asked another girl in the group and according to O, her fiance only purchased the ring 3 weeks before their trip. Which means he knew he was going to do it. That's fine, but it would have been so much nicer to have felt included and not like it was done to overshadow me. He could have called and said "hey I'm gonna do this, I know shes your lifelong bestie and she won't be in your wedding photos, but it's for good reason 🥹" I would have been soo down and happy. This leads me to believe that she doesn't really speak highly of me to her man or make our friendship seem as important as I considered it to be... She was a bridesmaid at my mini wedding (25 guests at the ceremony).
We live about 45 minutes apart and have very busy lifestyles so I haven't seen her much since. I've been distant I. The group chat but I'm not sure she's even aware there's an issue, dispute me not being able to give her a difinitive answer on weather or not I want to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
It's been 6 months since my wedding & her engagement and her engagement party is coming up (My cousin asked me to plan her birthday party, which falls on the same day as her engagement party, so honestly I'm not pressed about going at all)
I still feel icky about everything and honestly am not sure if I care to work it out. On the most important day of my life (imo), she showed how much she cared to make me feel loved. I haven't done anything bridal for her beyond the scrunchie.
AMITA and/or am I overreacting?
Should I be her bridesmaid? Pls I need help..
Notes:
•her wedding is in 2025 •her & her man have been together as long as me & my husband •me f25, my husband m26, her f26, her man m29

Hi! I (F, 25) just got married 6 months ago and this is STILL bothering me.. So here I am. I have been friends with this girl (we'll name her O, F, 26) since I was 10 years old with a break from ages 15 to 21 ( I moved) . We reconnected just before my 22nd birthday, which is around the time I met my husband. She had also JUST started dating her now fiance. We are two of five in a group of girls all from the same middle school and reconnected at the same time our partners into the mix. Honestly, before I got engaged there's not much of a story. I found it odd that she got a very similar dog to mine and named it something similar, almost a year to the day that I got mine, but that's like, whatever. She did a couple other little copycat things but, imitation is a form of flattery right? Anyway, my man and I get engaged and essentially, same day, choose our wedding date which was 9 weeks later (it was a significant date). Moments after getting engaged, I call the group and share the news, telling them we will most likely be getting married x day. Now, I understand it's short notice, but they're my lifelong friends and I knew, they knew they'd be bridesmaids.
O tells me she will not be able to make the wedding because she has a trip planned (is this wrong of her, because I totally understood). I make it official at my engagement party 4 weeks later and ask them to be bridesmaids, knowing O won't be present. I ask them for NOTHING. Note: they did not throw me a brunch or lunch or help with anything, nor did I expect it because it was all so quick. I told them they could wear what they want, no gifts, just be present x day, place and time. Shortly after my engagement party (wedding 4.5 weeks away) that O tells us her boyfriend has gone ring shopping. I am happy for her thinking she'll be engaged soon or SOONEST the end of her trip.
My wedding morning arrives, she sends me a congratulatory text from the airport departure lounge. My wedding day goes by. The day after my wedding goes by. I've been married now 48 hours and.. O drops "we're engaged" in the group chat. So what do I do? I call!! Of course! Because that's the least you can do when one of your closest 5 friends has a big life event. The facetime call was awkward at best, she never acknowledged my wedding even though I was still in my all white sweatsuit. She didn't seem to care that I called and her fiance couldn't be bothered, but I could have been interrupting I guess. (Note: she had the ability to call me and join the girls from wherever she was, but chose not to)
They return for their trip and I begin planning to host one of the other 5 girls' birthday party. She, of course, comes to my house for the party. This is the first time we see eachother since I'm a wife and she, a fiancée. At the time, I lived in a high rise building so I had to go down to get her. First words to her "congratulations!!!" It was not returned. Not to me or my husband all. Night. She talked about her wedding ideas and plans with my husband for no less than 30 minutes while the rest of the girls got ready. The other ladies noticed but she just didn't seem to read the room at all. I even tried by giving her a white scrunchie I got during wedding planning as a little pass along, bridal thing... In an effort to initiate some kind of conversation.
After that night, I really realize that this may have been intentional. I mean of course I thought it, but now I was really skeptical. I asked another girl in the group and according to O, her fiance only purchased the ring 3 weeks before their trip. Which means he knew he was going to do it. That's fine, but it would have been so much nicer to have felt included and not like it was done to overshadow me. He could have called and said "hey I'm gonna do this, I know shes your lifelong bestie and she won't be in your wedding photos, but it's for good reason 🥹" I would have been soo down and happy. This leads me to believe that she doesn't really speak highly of me to her man or make our friendship seem as important as I considered it to be... She was a bridesmaid at my mini wedding (25 guests at the ceremony).
We live about 45 minutes apart and have very busy lifestyles so I haven't seen her much since. I've been distant I. The group chat but I'm not sure she's even aware there's an issue, dispute me not being able to give her a difinitive answer on weather or not I want to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
It's been 6 months since my wedding & her engagement and her engagement party is coming up (My cousin asked me to plan her birthday party, which falls on the same day as her engagement party, so honestly I'm not pressed about going at all)
I still feel icky about everything and honestly am not sure if I care to work it out. On the most important day of my life (imo), she showed how much she cared to make me feel loved. I haven't done anything bridal for her beyond the scrunchie.
AMITA and/or am I overreacting?
Should I be her bridesmaid? Pls I need help..
Notes:
•her wedding is in 2025 •her & her man have been together as long as me & my husband •me f25, my husband m26, her f26, her man m29

I (F24) just caught my significant other (M26) lying about deleting his photos with his ex-girlfriend. When we were strictly friends, we used to get along about missing memories with our exes. Remembering that, as soon as we got together, I asked for him to delete the photos he would always look back on because I didn’t want to be in a relationship with somebody who would constantly look back at his previous relationship. My boyfriend agreed and told me that it was a two-way street, and that I should be deleting the photos of my ex as well— to which I agreed and erased.
Many months later, I ask him again about if he deleted the photos and he reassures me that he did, and that he has no reason to hold onto them. Fast forward to now, I found out that he was lying to me this whole time and never did anything on his end to actually get rid of the photos. I questioned why he lied to me numerous times for as long as he did, and he would not stop saying "I don't know why I did." I explicitly told him that he must not be over her if he felt happier to lie to me just to protect his photos of his ex, and he claimed that the photos meant nothing to him and that he wants to be with me lol. Then why did he lie? "I don't know." He tries to apologize profusely and I tell him that he's quite literally only apologizing because I caught him, and that he would have never been sorry for this if I didn't call him out on it. No response.
He's claiming that he wants to make the relationship work, and that he would work on communicating and being honest and upfront. The thing is, I thought the relationship prior to this situation was fucking amazing and communicative and honest. To find out he was happily lying to me this whole time has completely rewritten my view of this relationship and I don't know what to consider as honest anymore. It was not just holding the photos of his ex— it's how he lied to me about getting rid of all of it. Something so small, he stretched out for so long. I want to work through this as he's been the most amazing partner I've been with outside of this aspect.
To those in relationships that are lasting after being lied to by your SO, how did you rebuild your trust? What did your partner do to be able to regain your trust?
TLDR; Boyfriend lied to me about deleting photos of his ex-girlfriend after we mutually agreed upon deleting photos of our exes while entering the relationship. Need help on figuring out how to regain trust.

i 20M have this friend 21M and we have been really great friends for the past 3 years and it was really fun and intelligent conversations. aside from that we have also had a lot of down and bad times in our friendship. i’ll give you all a short summary.
we found each other in a really bad time in his life, he was going thru depression and a lot of other mental health problems, i was a good friend and i loved and still love him and wish him well, when he got better in this regard our relationships shifted and i realized we don’t have much in common except that love for each other and care.
i decided to try to get to know him better but i was always met with excuses or phrases like ”i don’t want to change u so i will like u, i already like u as a friend”. however deep down even during our one and one hangout time i would always open conversations and try to relate and make him join a convo which for a introvert like me is really difficult already.
due to these reasons we found ourselves really fighting a lot , he started no caring in action but telling me he cares which confused me mentally. i decided to cut back on our interactions until he figures this stuff out. i texted him a little less and make convos more normal and i confronted him a lot about this and told me how i felt and how his inaction and basically avoidant friendship style with me btw and solely me is making me feeling alone and like i am fighting for a lost cause.
he promised to put more of an effort and i believed him, he like any other person in life has periods where he doesn’t wanna talk, usually i try to talk to him about it or thru it but in one conversation he told me that he just doesn’t want that, so i respected his wishes.
around 3 months ago, i saw he was entering that level and i remembered what he said so i decided to give him space, i decided he will talk to me once he is ready, until now he didn’t even text or ask about me, completely ignoring me and not communicating, i know from our mutual friends he is texting hanging out and enjoying life and i am still stuck here.
i really did love him like family and it feels like i lost my brother and dear confidant. i grappled a lot with these emotions and i can’t just drop him the way he dropped me, i want closure and i don’t know if i should confront him or just ignore him or have a conversation but i feel it would be really bad looking in my part to communicate with someone who wants nothing to do with me.or atleast showing me that.
i really need help, i don’t like how all my love turned into anger and hatred and i don’t like hating people i don’t like having to deal with this and i can’t have this stress anymore.
i just need closure and i don’t know what to do.

I (f22) have been with my fiancé (m23) for 7 years. I’ll call him jack. Jack and I met in highschool. We were each others first bodies, and jack is still my only body. Once graduated jack decided to join military. I was sad but it was only army National gaurd so I knew he’d be home often and I just had to stick it out for l deployments. we get our own apartment & adopt a senior pitt bull! we commonly spend our nights watching youtube and anime, playing games on the computer and loving eachother (or so i thought)
2022 he leaves for a year long deployment. I wait loyally. He ghosted me all deployment saying it was a military thing because they’re so busy all day. I took the benefit of the doubt because I don’t know shit about military. He called me one time on thanksgiving. I could see he would be on his phone overseas but never to message me , I was muted. TW- SELF HARM actually tried to OD and performed a lot of self harm while he was gone due to the fact that he ghosted me without reason. I was up night after night delerious wondering why.. losing so much weight, being in pain and heartbroken.
Anyway . He came home and for the last year we were regular best friends again. I cooked, cleaned, all the housewife shit but on another note, we woke up together, played video games & watched anime together everyday. we went gambling together lol, dates every other damn day, car rides.
Anyway he had to leave 2 weeks ago to Trinidad for his annual National gaurd 2 weeks. He left. He promised never again will he ghost, and he promised nothing would happen. He talked about the date we were gonna go on when he comes home on the 15th.
he leaves for trinidad for 2 weeks - No suprise, he ghosted. He was sent out to Trinidad and was working and “busy” but I had a gut feeling something was weird. The 15th comes, and he’s now not even traceable on life 360. On the 16th, I Started to worry. I assumed maybe they worked a little more out in Trinidad. On the morning of the 17th, I text his sergeant, asking when they would be home. Sergeant told me they arrived home early morning on the 15th. Wow.
So I had no idea where he was at . He finally text me saying he’s at a guys house. He said “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll be home tomorrow.” He doesn’t have friends. We share the same 4 guy friends and we were all looking for him. i was freaking out and crying until he came home the next day. He comes home the next day like he said. I was crying when he came through the door . He was staring at me cold and rash. He said we’re done cause he wasn’t “happy for a while now”. He told me I can still stay at his apartment, but we’re single. Heartbroken and confused, I go about my night . I come back to the apartment around 1am. I get in bed and he kisses my forhead. He said I’ll be back I’m going to get some food.
I secretly turned his location back on. My app shows him pull up to some house down the street. I immediately drove there . Best believe his truck was right parked outside the house it said he was at. I knock on the door crazy af . He comes outside pale, and tells me I have to leave. I busted into her house and screamed “he has a fiancé of 7 years he’s cheating on me” he covers my mouth and drags me out. He tells me to leave he says “I met her on deployment you have to go this isn’t right, I told her we broke up” “YEA YOUVE BEEN SEEING HER ALL WEEK . YOU CHEATED AND BROKEUP WITH ME DAYS LATER. WE WERE TOGETHER 7 years” i screamed this so she could hear it. She had a suprised reaction. My fiancé was saying he didn’t even know me. I’m not gonna lie I keyed his new tundra truck on the way out.
how he met her - he admitted to “mentally breaking up with me months ago” just not “telling me that part” FUCK YOU! he said she’s in his unit and he’s had a crush on her but made his move in trinidad by letting her know of his crush on her. they flew home together on the 15th and he gave her a ride from the airport, and asked her if he could stay the night .
NOW - he is letting me continue to live at the apartment with him. because he let me QUIT my job last week and admitted to taking care of me so i can study for a better career. now i’m single with no job. I spoke to the girl he cheated on me with 1 on 1 and turns out of course he was lying about a lot including him telling her he broke up with me months ago. so she left him and said she won’t be seeing him anymore . she’s pretty nice and genuinely apologetic. anyway he’s been moping around the apartment and i don’t know what to do or how to act. He was crying in his bed last night when i was about to go out with a friend and i felt bad. my head is fucked with i can’t tell if he’s sad about what he did or sad that he lost her. i personally am a little bit over it already , because cheating is one of those things where i just straight will hate and be disgusted by you . that being said , is it smart of me to continue speaking to him? i’ve known him since he was 15 he has a fucked up family (drugs & alc) and no friends. i told him regardless of what he did i’ll still be a friend for him. what would you do and how would you act as the roomate? i won’t lie we’ve cried and hugged a few times but that’s cause we know it’s over .

Throughout our marriage, my partner and I have not had many big arguments or problems. We generally get along well and quickly get over small disagreements. I would say we have a fairly normal relationship, with nothing to hide from each other and 100% trust. We only have each other and do everything together.
**First Argument:**
Recently, we started trying new things and becoming more outgoing. My partner just started a new job and loves her coworkers. Her workplace has a volleyball team that plays for fun every week. We were never involved in extracurricular activities at work or school, so this was new and exciting for us, especially for her, as she had always wanted to do sports and finally found a group she enjoyed being around. I was happy for her because, for the longest time, we had been trying to find something she would enjoy doing.
During the first week, we had such a blast that we decided to participate every week. The second week, she was really looking forward to it, but it coincided with my sister's graduation. I expected the day to be dedicated to the graduation, with a plan to attend the ceremony and then go out to eat with the family (this was not discussed, but I assumed it would be better to focus on the graduation and didn't even consider volleyball).
Right before we left for the ceremony, my partner told me she was putting on her volleyball shorts under her dress so we could play volleyball right after the ceremony and then go to dinner. This is where the tension started. I felt that since the schedule was tight, we shouldn't try to squeeze in volleyball and told her there was always next week. I also dislike being late and keeping people waiting, even though it was at a buffet. She said she wanted to go and that the buffet wasn't that important.
I thought squeezing in volleyball for even 15 minutes was too much. We were both angry, but we agreed to go to volleyball for a bit, even though it was just for 15 minutes. I told her I wasn't going to play because I wasn't dressed for it and was too mad to see anyone, so I just sat at the bar. Fifteen minutes turned into 30, and I called her, telling her we had to go because we were already late and I was really hungry. We made it to the buffet, but when we got home, we started to discuss what happened.
We argued, and she told me she still felt she was right and that I was overreacting. She said I didn't care about her happiness and that she had finally found something she loved doing. I argued that it was ridiculous to try and squeeze volleyball in after the ceremony and then be late to the buffet by 30 minutes. She started crying, and we went back and forth. This was the first time she filled out and printed divorce papers for me to look at. We had fights before where we discussed whether we were right for each other because we thought differently about certain situations, but it had never escalated to divorce papers. We talked it out some more, made up, and put the argument behind us.
**Second Argument:**
We recently purchased a house and agreed to let my 24M cousin live in one of our extra rooms. He pays us rent, and we felt bad for him since he didn't have parents and had been living alone before moving in with us. Also, the rent would help with the mortgage. Though he can be an idiot at times, he is on good terms with both my wife and me. He is almost the perfect tenant: clean, organized, and respectful. However, he has an eating habit he is unaware of and no one has told him about.
He tends to eat things and leave one piece for someone else to finish and clean up after him, or he eats too much, not leaving enough food for my wife and me. Whenever I catch him doing this, I remind him that other people live in the house too and he cannot eat so much at once. He tends to skip breakfast and lunch, so he gets very hungry by dinner and eats whatever he can find. I have had this talk with him a few times, and he understands he has a problem, but it's not the end of the world. Meanwhile, my wife is growing more frustrated with him but doesn't say anything, slowly distancing herself from him.
Yesterday was the day of the argument. My cousin said he would cook for us, and I told my wife on the phone that he was cooking. He went out to get groceries, but my wife didn't want to eat his food due to the growing tension with him. We feel he doesn't buy enough groceries for himself, but when we confront him, he tries to cook for us and scrambles to buy groceries because he feels bad. My wife got home from work, and I prepared some food for dinner, just enough for us two and maybe my cousin since he was out buying groceries for all of us. We had agreed to start making less food so my cousin would not eat so much at dinner, kind of portioning for him.
My wife prepared two bowls of what I was cooking and did not put out a portion for my cousin. She said to not make one as a message that we are not cooking for him anymore. I told her that would be awkward and suggested preparing a small bowl for him so it wouldn't be awkward when he got back since he was out and expected to be cooking for us. I think it is kind of cruel, even though he has upset us with his habit. She thinks it's okay and that she is right. After that, we went on a walk and argued like the last time. She said her job was to worry about her husband and not another man. and then told me that if I was so worried about him getting a bowl why didnt I make one for him? She has been upset with my cousin about his eating habits and other annoying things, and this was her way of telling him we are not cooking for him anymore. I argued that I would have handled it differently to make it less awkward, like preparing a small bowl and then talking to him afterward about buying his own groceries and not cooking for us anymore from now on. She again stated that she was right, also bringing up the last argument and saying I'm overreacting and making it more than it is and that even if I got up and tried to make him a bowl she would be mad at me too because she valued our dinner time together(even though it would have been a quick thing to do, but I backed down because afraid I would upset her) and said that I always try to be the nice and decent person while she is always the bad person.
I feel stuck in the middle because I'm always the mediator in these arguments and feel like our arguments are always at this level of intensity. How do I handle these types of arguments?

Hello. Please bear with me because i just went through a break-up. It's the first time I've ever felt a real connection with a fellow sapphic even though I've dated before and I am seriously tweaking over it. She has told me about her circumstances and how she had to give up our relationship, assured that I'm not the problem why she had decided to end things between us. They are going through stuff right now (pressure from work and family) and I wish I was nearby (we are in a LDR) to give her a crushing hug (she likes it). After several days of no contact, i remembered that I can actually text her. My emotional maturity was never this bad. I stopped having control over my emotions. I was desperate to win her back. I did what I could to get her attention because she had me blocked elsewhere. I know I shouldn't be texting her anymore. Just when I said my formal farewell through text, she replied after ignoring me- and it broke me easily. I went back on my word. I was uncharacteristically pathetic. I word vomited how I am still very much in love with her even when she was mean to me. I'm not getting a reply anymore and I wish it will stay that way forever because I see myself begging again. The power she has over me is incomparable to anyone I have ever been with. I think I'm being toxic about the whole situation. Can I please get an advice on how to take it slow or how to cope from this? Because if I'm being honest, it feels like I'm grieving over someone's loss. It's devastating yet I still want her.

Hi! I (F, 25) just got married 6 months ago and this is STILL bothering me.. So here I am. I have been friends with this girl (we'll name her O, F, 26) since I was 10 years old with a break from ages 15 to 21 ( I moved) . We reconnected just before my 22nd birthday, which is around the time I met my husband. She had also JUST started dating her now fiance. We are two of five in a group of girls all from the same middle school and reconnected at the same time our partners into the mix. Honestly, before I got engaged there's not much of a story. I found it odd that she got a very similar dog to mine and named it something similar, almost a year to the day that I got mine, but that's like, whatever. She did a couple other little copycat things but, imitation is a form of flattery right? Anyway, my man and I get engaged and essentially, same day, choose our wedding date which was 9 weeks later (it was a significant date). Moments after getting engaged, I call the group and share the news, telling them we will most likely be getting married x day. Now, I understand it's short notice, but they're my lifelong friends and I knew, they knew they'd be bridesmaids.
O tells me she will not be able to make the wedding because she has a trip planned (is this wrong of her, because I totally understood). I make it official at my engagement party 4 weeks later and ask them to be bridesmaids, knowing O won't be present. I ask them for NOTHING. Note: they did not throw me a brunch or lunch or help with anything, nor did I expect it because it was all so quick. I told them they could wear what they want, no gifts, just be present x day, place and time. Shortly after my engagement party (wedding 4.5 weeks away) that O tells us her boyfriend has gone ring shopping. I am happy for her thinking she'll be engaged soon or SOONEST the end of her trip.
My wedding morning arrives, she sends me a congratulatory text from the airport departure lounge. My wedding day goes by. The day after my wedding goes by. I've been married now 48 hours and.. O drops "we're engaged" in the group chat. So what do I do? I call!! Of course! Because that's the least you can do when one of your closest 5 friends has a big life event. The facetime call was awkward at best, she never acknowledged my wedding even though I was still in my all white sweatsuit. She didn't seem to care that I called and her fiance couldn't be bothered, but I could have been interrupting I guess. (Note: she had the ability to call me and join the girls from wherever she was, but chose not to)
They return for their trip and I begin planning to host one of the other 5 girls' birthday party. She, of course, comes to my house for the party. This is the first time we see eachother since I'm a wife and she, a fiancée. At the time, I lived in a high rise building so I had to go down to get her. First words to her "congratulations!!!" It was not returned. Not to me or my husband all. Night. She talked about her wedding ideas and plans with my husband for no less than 30 minutes while the rest of the girls got ready. The other ladies noticed but she just didn't seem to read the room at all. I even tried by giving her a white scrunchie I got during wedding planning as a little pass along, bridal thing... In an effort to initiate some kind of conversation.
After that night, I really realize that this may have been intentional. I mean of course I thought it, but now I was really skeptical. I asked another girl in the group and according to O, her fiance only purchased the ring 3 weeks before their trip. Which means he knew he was going to do it. That's fine, but it would have been so much nicer to have felt included and not like it was done to overshadow me. He could have called and said "hey I'm gonna do this, I know shes your lifelong bestie and she won't be in your wedding photos, but it's for good reason 🥹" I would have been soo down and happy. This leads me to believe that she doesn't really speak highly of me to her man or make our friendship seem as important as I considered it to be... She was a bridesmaid at my mini wedding (25 guests at the ceremony).
We live about 45 minutes apart and have very busy lifestyles so I haven't seen her much since. I've been distant I. The group chat but I'm not sure she's even aware there's an issue, dispute me not being able to give her a difinitive answer on weather or not I want to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
It's been 6 months since my wedding & her engagement and her engagement party is coming up (My cousin asked me to plan her birthday party, which falls on the same day as her engagement party, so honestly I'm not pressed about going at all)
I still feel icky about everything and honestly am not sure if I care to work it out. On the most important day of my life (imo), she showed how much she cared to make me feel loved. I haven't done anything bridal for her beyond the scrunchie.
AMITA and/or am I overreacting?
Should I be her bridesmaid? Pls I need help..
Notes:
•her wedding is in 2025 •her & her man have been together as long as me & my husband •me f25, my husband m26, her f26, her man m29

I just need somewhere to vent, I don't have anyone to talk to. At least not anyone that cares. I lost my job and haven't been able to find a new one. No job meant I can't pay for child care for my youngest. I have 48 cents to my name. Been trying survey apps and referral programs, been trying to find a side hustle, anything. I can't live like this. My kids shouldn't have to live like this. I'm about to lose my apartment because I can't afford the 1800 that I owe in rent. I don't know what to do anymore. I love my kids to death, but I'm starting to feel like I'm going to have to give them up just so that they can have a better life than what I can afford to give them. That hurts more than anything else. I don't have anyone to help me, I don't have anyone to support us. And I don't have anyone to just tell me things will be okay. I'm terrified to give up my kids (2 and 8) and put them in a worse position. I hate my life. I hate that I don't have it all figured out. I hate that people can be billionaires while the rest of us struggle. I just need to know that things will be okay

18M experiences weird ghosting(?) by 18F
So there’s this girl that I was talking to for like 2 months. We’re both seniors and are going to the same college so it was really easy to bond and throughout the two months we really connected with each other. Like after about a month we were mutually committed to each other and we would talk on the phone all night, talk throughout the day, and be there for each other whenever it was needed. The only real problem is that I tend to overthink a lot, as I’ve had bad anxiety issues in the past. This windiest is compounded by the fact I was played in my last relationship by a girl who said she loved me and swore she was loyal that was talking to other dudes and picked them over me. But anyways, I would try to express how the overthinking made me feel to her but I really wanted to get her on a call because other than seeing her we only exchanged voice notes and never really got on calls. This expanded my intuition and made me think I was getting played so I did some mild research. We follow each other on Ig and she has a lot upwards of a thousand followers, which also set some alarm bells off in my brain because I knew she was most likely lying that I was the only want for her and everything. Also, just through like looking at her post comments, I saw that she still had her ex bfs flirty comments up there for a while when we were talking and that she still followed him, making me think that I was possibly going to be a rebound. Also, based on her TikTok reposts, she was just starting to get over him when she told me they had been done for three months so I didn’t know what to believe. But while we were talking, me and her shared everything with each other like past trauma, current issues, and I play guitar so I would sing love songs to her or send them to her(corny Ik) so she told me that she’s been deeply traumatized in past relationships and that her ex was the worst of them all because he would use her for her body and I think she implied some abuse so I knew to be gentle with her. She also said that no guy had ever put in so much effort to talk to and understand her and that it was so different and special to her. So everything is going good and I really like this girl, like more than anyone before. And like I said, we’re going to the same college so we both like follow the college posting accounts and follow people that are going to be her classmates. So one day, I follow someone a guy in there with my major, but when I do I realize my girl already followed him. So I go back to the college account (which consists of 90% girls) and realize that she hasn’t followed a single girl on there and follows basically every guy. This makes me feel awful because just logically, on an account with 90% girls being posted, can you following every dude but no girls be considered as anything but looking for replacements or new guys to talk to? So in the heat of when I found this out, I send her a pretty stern voice note in a tone I regret asking why she’s following that ratio of girls to guys when she has deemed me as “perfect”, “the one”, and “her favorite ever” and when she’s said we’re locked in and committed and I’ve agreed. Like at this point I wasn’t even looking at other girls anymore so it was really hurtful. So she responds nds with saying she follows everyone(not true) and that I’m reading way too much into this and that she’ll unfollow if there is a problem and now she feels confused and off about me. She also said she knows I don’t trust her now. She said she was going to get gas and after that, she ignored all of my texts for a week but always viewed my stories so I knew she just didn’t want to talk to me. This really breaks my heart because she told me she wasn’t like that and she would never just leave. So after a week, she finally responded and said that “I’m sorry and that I should’ve said something and I didn’t want you to think I left so easily. I have a on my plate rn and you’re such a sweet guy and I really hope this could work in the future but I have too much rn I’m sorry.” So I respond saying that I understand I’m not the most important thing in her life and that I was sorry for making her think I didn’t trust her because I do and I just wanted to understand her pov. I also said that I want to be a safe space for her and that she can communicate that with me bc let’s be honest, no one is too busy to shoot out a 5 second text update. Plus, it was too coincidental it came after our first real negative communication. So it’s been over a week and she still hasn’t responded to me so I assume I’ve been ghosted. I miss her so much and I’ve been trying to move on but I blame myself for this so it’s harder to move on then if I got played. Was that the breakup text she sent? It hinted at the future and I know I shouldn’t take her back but I know I would because of how much I miss her. Was I out of line to question her following because I knew I probably should’ve stayed away from the topic but I wanted to communicate how it made me feel. I feel like she def got a friends opinion and then decided to ghost because she seemed more apologetic at first. Is this even a ghost and did she ever really mean what she said about me being the one for her and her favorite guy ever? I want honest opinions on the situation and please don’t just give me the move on talk. I really just can’t and I feel like I’ve messed everything up and that I may love her. Should I call her? I don’t want to seem desperate.

I rlly hope he somehow doesn't see this lmao this is embarrassing posting about but I just need to vent somewhere I know him or people who know him won't see.
3 days ago my boyfriend of about a year dumped me. We had dated last year as well for almost the same amount of time maybe less, and he broke up with me because he "wasn't ready for commitment" and he didn't want me to give him 100% when he couldn't. I got over it a couple months after and moved on because it was short and I could tell he was pulling away anyway.
He eventually came back after like 5 months saying he wanted to commit to me and be better.
We started dating again shortly after that, and it was even more amazing than before. He became my best friend. We have so much chemistry I can't imagine ever being like that with someone else. We're so similar in so many ways it's crazy. He wrote such sweet songs for me, he was clingy in public and never wanted to let me go when we would cuddle or sleep together. Our sexual chemistry was something I will never ever feel with anyone else. He never sexualized other women or fictional women (yes that's unfortunately a standard of mine lol.) He was respectful to my boundaries just so much he did right. His family was like a second family to me. Mine isn't and wasn't very good to me. His friends became my friends.
We were doing so fine. We had future plans to do things together. To travel. I'm tearing up just thinking about all of these plans crumbling now. Then one night suddenly I asked him if he loved me, or if he was in love with me. And if he saw a future with me. I had asked him this before and it was a bit early in the relationship, but he said he wanted to focus on school and maintaining us. I was satisfied with that answer. This time I told him it's common or normal for people to start thinking about this stuff this long in a relationship, and he said "then I guess I don't." That ended in a horrible breakup with both of us crying and me rotting in bed for 3 days straight unable to eat.
He won't even stay friends with me or answer my texts. I gave up waiting on him to answer yesterday. I just want my baby back. I know I need to give him space but my worst fear is him finding somebody else and ending up marrying them. And treating her like he treated me. Giving her what I've always wanted and finally had. Then promptly lost.
He really was one of a kind, I'll never be able to fins another man who will live up to him to me. Nor do I even want to. I want him to see me being successful and come back, but I can't even get out of bed without crying.
I feel like I did something wrong for him to not see a future with me. Granted I am his first girlfriend ever, he's never dated anyone before, so I keep excusing it because I know he's new to all of this but I just can't deal with the thought of being his first love and not ending up with him.
I was a great girlfriend to him and we loved eachother. I spoiled him rotten and let him talk to me about his needy interests that I loved so much. I miss seeing him get so excited over his shows or games he plays.
I don't know what I did wrong for him to not want a future with me.
I'm sorry this is so long. I have nobody to talk to. I've lost his family as well as him, and his friends too. I have nobody. Only my cat. And if I'm being honest, it's getting harder and harder to keep sticking around for him.

Hello guys this is really a long story that I am going to make short. I know most people will say just break up or something but I am genuinely looking for advice. About 8 months ago I looked through my boyfriend’s phone and saw that he was looking up models, pornstars, and just random girls on pretty much all social media pages on a daily basis. I also found that he had texted a girl and called her pretty, as-well as attempting to flirt with another and not following through with it. At this point in our relationship I was not putting much effort into our relationship at all. I was very emotionally distant and just generally not in a good place. And all around just not a good partner and did not give him attention. I am not excusing his behavior because it’s unacceptable what he did. But I do admit that my behavior has a part in this. If you say that we should just break up then you might as-well just let it be because we already have tried, we have a lot of love for each other. We’ve discussed this over and over again, crying and screaming. I know it sounds crazy and that I am being a fool but genuinely this has changed our relationship much better. Our communication has been so open, we are more honest, our relationship is not just surface level anymore, going through this has transformed us both to see our faults as people and as partners. We are still together and our relationship has never been better. But how can I move on from the hurt and almost trauma of seeing those women. My boyfriend is autistic, he has a hard time explaining and expressing himself in general so trying to get an answer for what his thoughts were while he was doing this is nearly impossible. I believe it’s because I was not being a good partner so he was seeking comfort somewhere else. But he says it’s not that and that he can’t explain it. But not getting the explanation makes me so upset and uncomfortable sometimes. I feel so insecure about myself constantly and compare myself to other women constantly. I never have felt this way before. We have moved on for the better but I still feel resentment, I feel insecure, and I can’t fully trust him. Most of the time it’s happy and healthy but then suddenly I get this anger over it. Please give me some advice on how I can move on. He constantly tries to reassure me and apologizes, he deleted all his social media and started to go to therapy. He is genuinely trying to do better and he is putting the effort in. I have tried to be more intentional to make him feel more loved and appreciated. We have worked it out. Everything is perfect. But how can I win this internal battle?

It's a long story. Please bear with me, my mind is really chaotic right now. I am in college and have a circle of female friends since the first semester. All of us went to the same major. This year will be our 4th year being a group of friends together. I cherished them a lot, they helped me a lot and one of the reasons I survived college so far.
Then came the guy. It's a little too common actually. I first got close with this guy when we're in our second year, that's on 2021. The classes were still held online due to COVID back then, so we actually never see each other in real life. He was a quiet, shy guy who didn't get noticed by others, and as the class' leader, I contacted him a lot to make sure he didn't feel leave out since the others were joking around frequently in the class' group chat. From that, he began to ask me if I already have a partner for group assigments (there were quite a lot of assigments for group of 2 people) and since my other friends know other people too, I said yes. We began to become a duo for every group assignments. He was responsible and working together with him was pretty enjoyable. We began to talk everyday about random things to each other. We even played game together. I considered him as a close friend at this point.
Then, I introduced him to one of my close friends since she also plays the game we played together. I didn't actually know the extend of their interactions, just that he helped her in game sometimes and I guess they played from time to time without me too. Then, one day in 2022, my class had a first gathering where we booked a villa and held many games and gift trades, you know the thing you did to create a bond since it's our first meeting as classmates due to the pandemic. I was very shy at the thought of seeing him in real life for the first time (he actually a good looking, he got really popular among the girls in my major after this gathering) and pretended not to see him, yet he walked up to me first and greeted me. That time was ... really magical. The villa was located in an mountain area so it was really cold and he gave me his hoodie since I got cold easily. We took a lot of photos together at that time, and it seemed everyone in our year already treated us like a "campus couple" because of that. I, of course, denied that I like him and said that we're only good friends because ... a girl like me is afraid of rejection and reading the signs wrong.
But after the gathering ended, one of my close friends (the one that I introduced to him to play game together before) suddenly announced to our female friends group that she has a crush on him. Little by little, she began to show hostility to me then there was this one point when she ignored me for two months. Even when I tried to talk to her in, she didn't give me respond. At that time, I was scared I will ruin this friendship groups. I was longing for female friendships, the thing you saw in movies, and I finally have one when I entered college so I saw them as a blessing. In high school, I either got bullied or not having friends at all since I was always coming straight home after school ended (I came from a poor family so I didn't have the money to hang out and friendship in high school requires money for me since I attended a prestigious school where almost everyone has rich parents). So, I made a decision to cut him off. I stopped talking to him. For group assignment, I grouped with other people. Little by little, the distance between the two of us widened. In the end, we didn't talk to each other anymore, and that's when my friend started to talk to me again. I didn't ruin my friendship group. My friend and him got close and by then she already "replaced" me being his group assignment's partner. I let him go, thinking that I didn't have the time and energy to date anyway since I was busy doing part-times to earn money. He came from a good family, and so does my close friend. They suited each other. I won't become a girl who abandoned her friend for a guy. Since summer of 2023, I never had a talk with him again.
I was fine, well not really. It hurt not being able to talk to him again when we used to be close, but I did this to myself. My close friend talked about him a lot in our group's chats. Apparently, she already confessed twice and got rejected. But she wanted to stay as a friend so both of them were "best friends" until now. She told us she still held feelings for him. She sent him flowers on his graduation since he graduated early than us. I didn't. Yet, he approached me and asked me to take photo together. After 1 year of no contact. On his graduation day, he asked me to take photos together, just two of us. With everyone watching.
Later, he confessed to me that he always has feelings for me. It was ... not quite a shock since I wasn't that dense, but still ... I got nauseous. Part of me wants him too, but the realistic part of me reminding me that I couldn't be that kind of girl who betrayed her close friend. I told him, I couldn't. I got a lot in my plates, I haven't graduated yet, I am not ready for relationship ... all the reasons because I couldn't bring myself to lie that I don't like him. Because I do. Very much. For years. He was everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He said he could wait until I graduate. He was waiting for me for the past 2 years, waiting a few months won't matter much.
What should I do? Should I confess everything to my friendship group? I want to talk to my friends about this, to hear their thoughts, but I couldn't because I always kept my feelings for him as a secret. Then, how about my friendships? My close friend who likes him will definitely got hurt ... am I just not suitable for friendships, since I wasn't honest? If you were in my position, will you choose your crush or your close friend?
(Thank you so much for taking your time to read this.)

Introduction I have been looking all over the internet for the past 3 months. Watched every video. Read every forum. All because I want to buy a high-end home espresso setup. I want it to be my endgame - just so that I do not have to worry about upgrades the coming years.
The journey started because I have amazing coffee at work and I hate my Nespresso at home. We finally have some budget to upgrade our home setup. We're just with the two of us, but love hosting dinners occasionally. Milk drinks are a big yes! Would love to switch to other beans every month or so.
The machine I'm certain of the one I would like to order. A stainless steel La Marzocco Linea Micra. Dual boiler, PID, quick-heat up, timeless design and well build. I'm also be able to setup on and off schedules via the app. I might be biased, because we have a La Marzocco Linea PB - 2 group at work.. but the heart wants what it wants.
I do miss the brew by weight function that the Linea Mini has (with an additional €400 scale) but that is just nonsens. I can flip the switch myself for that amount of money.
The grinder But.. I cannot decide on the grinder. Since I found out grind-by-weight (GBW) grinders are a thing now I'm intrigued. That would make dialing in espresso's a bit quicker and the overal consistency would be perfect. No need to weight the portafilter anymore. So I'm debating between two GBW models;
1. Fiorenzato AllGround Sense (64mm) - €1100

• 250 watt
• 1600 RPM
• Cheaper
• Nice tactile ring that communicates with the screen
• Looks cool in the newest blue colour

2. Eureka Atom W 65 GRINDER (65mm) - €1400

• 280 watt
• 1370 RPM
• Seems to be the quietest grinder by some patented cool stuff
• Established brand for a long time
• Not that fun to look at

The accessoires I think I do need a fancy Normcore Spring Loaded Tamper V4 with Ripple Base?
The questions.. But.. Is a lot of money. So now I'm sitting here writing this post for advice and to help me make a choice before I spend. I might need some encouragement, I can postpone this endlessly because there is always something better of more bang for the buck somewhere else.

• Do you have experience with your Linea Mini, how many years does it last if it is well maintained?
• Do you gave experience with the brands for the grinder I mentioned? What would be your pick? Any others that I missed?
• And which accessories did I forget?

Thanks in advance!

I'll try to keep this short but I tend to yap a lot so I'm sorry if this is unnecessarily long. Regardless I [18F] have been dating my boyfriend [20M] for a solid 6 months. When we first met things went really well, we bonded on a lot of things such as similar interests, morals, hobbies etc. Although, early on I noticed that I would be the one mostly opening up about my past/current things in my life[which isnt anything on him, i just sometimes trust way to easily]. When it came to him discussing his past/ current life events it would take a while for him to mention it and usually it would take someone else asking him for him to discuss recent things at the very least. Which I didn't mind initially since I want him to take his time opening up to me. As of recent, he's been acting very distant, in early April he all of a sudden let everyone know in our shared server that he would be taking a break for two weeks or so. When the announcement went out and I saw it, I messaged him and asked if he was alright, he was vague and said he was just burnt out. So I gave him some space and I only messaged him once during that time as a little "Hey hope you're doing well, make sure you take care of yourself." Etc, etc. After the two weeks he came back for a day and then later after I fell asleep made another announcement about needing more time, which he said he wasn't sure how long he'd be gone for. So I again gave him that space. However, as of now during this extended break he asked to talk to me over text, which was a day after my really close friend who I've known irl since I was a kid, told me that he had asked her about some advice about our relationship. My friend of course asked "Well do you still love her?" And he apparently said yes. However, when he asked to talk he typed out this paragraph[which I'll summarize as best as possible since I don’t really wanna look back at our old messages since the wound is still fresh] but he basically said he didn't love me and didn't know what to do, he also briefly elaborated on some other issues that may be causing him to feel this way such as family, work, etc. We discussed it briefly over text and I asked if we could take a break, which he agreed to. After the fact I talked with said close friend and she of course like any friend was upset and told me that I needed to focus on myself and distance myself from him. Which I did, initially we had matching pfps that I drew for the both of us which I abruptly changed[he ofc did the same]. Later I asked if we could discuss things properly over the phone instead of over text since I felt hurt by not being able to have a proper conversation over the phone. He agreed but come the day of the our phone call he blew me off to hang out with friends, I being hurt at the time snapped a bit and asked if I really wasn't good enough for a proper conversation which he with the same attitude as me responded that he forgot and the plans with friends were last minute. So I let it go and asked if we could take the next day, which we managed to. The conversation summarized was basically me asking what changed etc. Etc. To which he explained his reluctance to be honest about his past because of what he'd done prior[which I'm not going to touch on too much out of respect for him] apparently though everytime he was honest with a partner about his past they became distance or ended things right then and there. Which Depending on what it is my opinion on him isn't going to change, since a lot of my family has done similarly terrible things so it's not like I haven't heard it all before. Regardless, I'm not going to pry for his past, however I feel like he's letting his past hold him back and not allowing himself to be happy for once even though it all happened a while back. The main reason why I'm only putting this here now is because recently I had my senior prom which was last Saturday, and like anyone I posted pictures to our shared server, now usually when he's on these breaks he never ever responds to anything in the server, but when I posted pictures of me in a dress with full glam he immediately responded with "I love it". Which gave me mixed signals, so as a bit of a hail marry I decided to text him to see if he wanted to hang out which he immediately responded back with "sure". So when I got home late we hopped on a game for a bit which ended abruptly when he decided he wanted to play something else for a while, which I didn't mind since we stayed on party vc. I'll admit when he got off the game I wanted to play with him I sighed and he ofc asked me what was wrong and I just used the classic "nothing I'm just tired, or I don't wanna talk about it excuses." He took me at my word initially and left, he came back a little while later and told me that he knew something was wrong and be wanted me to tell him and be honest. So I did, I explained that I was confused on what we are and he was honest with me and said "I don't really know right now, but I know I'm not gonna find someone I relate to as much as you." I of course kinda froze at that not knowing how to feel with the sudden affection so I just kinda awkwardly laughed and said something along the lines of "Okay, you don't need to lie to make me feel better." Which he responded with something along the lines of "I'm serious though, it's gonna be hard to find anyone I relate to as much as I do with you." Then as the night progressed he casually made flirtatious comments as well as calling me babe again for the first time in a while, which I'll admit I didn't reciprocate the nicknames since it didn't feel right to call each other that after everything. After that night I just don't know how to feel, I'm just worried he's moving on and doesn't wanna be mean to me by breaking up with me, so he doesn't until he finds someone else. I don't think he is but as a chronic over thinker I can't help but worry, especially since I've never been so serious about someone, but everyone I know around me is telling me he's not worth the time and I should break up with him and move on. However, not only do I not want to, I really want to make things work. I just hope that he doesn't see this as I don't want to worry him or anyone else in our friend group, and I've already bugged my two friends a bunch about this already, but I don't wanna tell them about Saturday since I know I'll get shit from them since they want me to move on and find someone else.
[TLDR: Boyfriends become distant because of his past and stresses within his life[eventually telling me he didn't love me anymore and didn't know what to do chasing us to go on a break] and friends around me are telling me to move on etc. Etc. But I love him a lot and want to make things work, especially after he started showing me affection again last Saturday.]