Ladies urethra

Hello ladies, you have all been so helpful the last 30 weeks! Now in the final stretch but the last two days Iv had just a lot of pain/pressure in my lower vagina/urethra area. I think the baby is just sitting badly, but any tips on how to cope with the pain or encourage her to shift elsewhere? Thanks :)

I just want to preface this by stating that I know for sure that there were a handful of ethical violations, at least from reading the AUA’s code of ethics. Specifically informed consent and putting the patient first.
I’m more concerned with whether or not a potential case for physical and emotional distress exists, from the perspective of clinicians who perform these procedures, do you see anything grossly inappropriate or am I just overreacting?
I had a urologist perform a flexible cystoscopy. It was the most humiliating experience of my life.
Not to scare you off, but I had a very poor experience with this procedure; my doctor had explained the procedure (flexible cystoscopy) but he explained it entirely through the perspective of what he would be doing and why, and how it would feel for me.
I walked in the day of the procedure expecting to have it done in the same small, private exam room it had been explained in. You can imagine my surprise when I was told that the doctor would be meeting me in another facility located on another floor.
When I checked in, I was asked to sign three times on an old, beat up electronic signature pad which was so scratched that I knew without looking that my signature was not legible.
I was not told verbally what I was signing for, nor provided a copy of any documents.
After checking in, I sat for maybe five minutes before a young lady called me back. She walked briskly and led me to a huge, very brightly-lit room with a blue paper divider in the center. I could hear voices on the other side of the divider.
I looked around and couldn’t help but betray my feelings of discomfort with my facial expressions. The young lady matched my face and gently placed her hand on my forearm before looking me directly in the eyes and asking, “What did they tell you?”… I was absolutely not ok with what I was seeing and what was about to happen. That was the moment that I should have noped the fuck out of that situation.
I didn’t leave though, because I knew I was there for a reason, and I didn’t want to be seen as less of a man for my discomfort with this young lady preparing my penis and witnessing me getting penetrated with a camera. I let her know that I had been nervous about the prospect of getting this done and that I wasn’t looking forward to it.
She handed me a gown and told me to remove my clothes from the waist down and place them into a bag. She left briefly, and when she returned she had an even younger lady with her. This girl did not look a day over 16. I am 36.
I was so mortified that I could not speak, and could not move. I sat in abject humiliation as the young tech prepped me, which is essentially just pouring antiseptic all over my crotch and penis as well as squeezing lidocaine into my penis and holding it still for 5–10 minutes. The room was quite chilly, I was extremely uncomfortable and my penis is not especially long while flaccid in general… I was, again, mortified.
The second girl, I later found out through personal research as it was never explained, was likely there acting as a “chaperone”, aka a medical babysitter. I was naked and being babysat by a 16 year old girl.
Finally, my doctor entered the room, very briskly began the procedure and rushed through it so fast that he hurt me in the process; it isn’t supposed to be terribly painful, but I felt like I had been stabbed as he attempted to pass my prostate with the camera, and I saw blood on the screen as it happened. The bladder is filled for the procedure, so I watched the blood float up and obscure the camera, and the doctor never acknowledged it.
When he was done, he quickly withdrew the camera and left. I was so hurt and embarrassed that all I could think of was leaving, and I didn’t bother to dress before collecting my clothes and heading for the one bathroom directly connected to the room. The previous patient was still there and I waited as patiently as possible to hear them leave.
I had been warned in advance that the procedure would induce an intense urge to void urine: this is true. They failed to mention the antiseptic, which is yellow-brown in color and will come pouring out after you expel the air from your urinary tract, nor did they make mention that the penis and urethra would be numb and voiding would be difficult if at all possible.
After about five minutes of standing there on the verge of tears, my body regained some feeling and I was finally able to void. It felt like I was pissing liquid fire over a razor blade in the tip of my penis.
In addition to the antiseptic, there was some bleeding, which I had been told to expect.
Before I had even finished, the next patient needing the bathroom was knocking. I hurried up and washed myself and cleaned up and let them know it was free.
The pain gradually got worse, instead of better, and after one week I had enough and attempted to take my life. My wife caught me. The following week the pain had become so severe that I couldn’t ignore it any more, and I called the doctor but got a voicemail even on the “priority “ line.
I ended up contacting my PCP and getting a script for a powerful antibiotic, which I picked up and began using immediately. Three days went by before the burning feeling in my penis began to subside. The pain lasted for two full months in my bladdeprostate.
I just heard back from someone at the surgery center yesterday… that’s how responsive they are to patient complaints. I explained myself but also let her know that I’ve spoken to a lawyer already and provided their details.
Again, I don’t want to scare you away if you need this done, but do come in loaded for bear and ready to advocate for yourself, viciously if necessary.
As someone who was assaulted as a child, this was the closest experience I can think of that directly compares to the pain, humiliation and suffering of being forcibly raped.

hello everyone. i am back to spread some more wisdom. ( link to the previous post: https://np.reddit.com/OverwatchCirclejerk/s/W2OidPS9us )
without further ado, let’s get started.
d.va: i think dva would secretly play with herself in her mech
doomfist: i think doomfist would oil up his cheeks before twerking (shaking his buttocks) and maybe light fingering with his large metal fingers 👅👅
junker queen: i think junker queen would shake her boobiez with her muscles kinda like mauga does
mauga: i think mauge would play with his nipples while shaking his boobiez
orisa: i’m not sure NOPE i cannot write that it says one year old on the site
ramattra: i think ramattra would grind on his staff 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 and maybe even lick it with his unexistant tongue (if he gets a human skin it will show up)
reinhardt: i think reinhardt would pretend to choke his hammer and look at it 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂
roadhog: i think roadhog would eat some food to become a bit bloated and then he would fart and burp to become back to normal
sigma: i think sigma would restrain his legs with a large rock and then tickle 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 his own feet with small rocks
winston: i think winston would dip a nude banana 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 into some peanut butter before eating it slowly and 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂
wrecking ball: wrecking ball is 16 i dont know how much that makes in hamster years but no im not risking that
zarya: i think zarya would raise up her arms and then green gas comes out of her armpits.
ashe: i think ashe would flash her boobiez if we are oh so lucky (no i didnt really have any idea for this character sorry ash mainse)
bastion: i think bastion would just bend over like a lot because hes some form of transformer robot and theyre flexible to show that he could initiate self fellation if he had the tools for it
cassidy: i think cassidy would hgnn im falling asleep im continuing tomorrow…….. good night guys gives delayed goodnight kisses (on the mouth if its ok with you) to all of you uuh i still dont have any ideas sorry not sorry cassidy mains
echo: i think echo would turn into a big booty woman or man and start twerking
genji: i think genji would pull out his large dragon((blade)) and swing it around helecockpter style
hanzo: i think hanzo would pull pit his dragons and then make them go into his booty
junkrat: i think junkrat would pull out his tongue and move it around all 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 like
mei: i think mei would make and icicle and rub it on her nipples to make them hard before sucking on it 👅👅👅
pharah: i think pharah would fly up and start making it ((rain)) from above (if you know what i mean hehehe)
reaper: i think reaper would turn into a shadow. smoke thing and creep in someones buthole or urethra perhaps
sojourn: i think soujourn would activate her hydraulic cheeks and make it move 👅👅👅
soldier: i think soldier wouldn’t do anything becuz he too old
sombra: i think sombra would overcharge her vibrator butt plug making it vibrate ultra duper fast making her moan and groan loudly 👅👅
symmetra: i think symmetra would make a hard light rose toy that looks like her turrets and then get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with it
torbjorn: i shudder at the thought
tracer: i think tracer would go full speed mode and twerk super really fast
venture: i think venture would dig a phalic rock and suck on it 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂
widowmaker: i think widowmaker would activate her infra sight so we could see through her clothes if we are oh so lucky
ana: i think ana would do like that one video where that old lady is just standing there normally with normal clothes but the video glitches and we see her in lingerie
baptiste: i think baptiste would im sorry i dont have an idea for bap its ok no one acc mains bap so no one is sad
brigitte: i think brigitte would pull out some ropes threaten to tie you up (if you played the overwatch porn vn you’ll know what i mean)
illari: i think illari is too sad and emo to be 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
kiriko: something something with her fox (????) i hope not
lifeweaver: i think lifeweaver would make a biolight rose toy and then get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with it
lucio: i think lucio would twerk at a different speed depending on his skinnif he has a custom song for the skin and wether he is on speed or yellow and wether he just amped or not and if he just used beat or not
mercy: i think mercy would fly up and ride her staff 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 kinda like a witch on her broom
moira: i think moira would cover herself with her hand pee (??)
zenyatta: i think zenyatta would not do anything because he is a monk and he probably took a vow of chastity or something
thank you for listening. i will not read or consider any criticism. (actually i will please tell me how i can be even better)

I see alot of y'all, frankly way to many, chalk up Geto's plan in JJK0 as 'stupid' or a result of Gege not having Gojo's actual CT planned out at the time. Which is frankly disappointing, I know y'all can't read but for god's sake it is spelled out for you.
Since y'all can't seem to wrap your minds around this, I guess I will have to spoon feed you all.
So, as we should all (hopefully) know that Geto's aim was to secure Rika in order to beat Gojo. This is the thing most of you take issue with. The majority of Jujutsu Kaisen (or Sorcery Fight) readers cannot understand how Rika could bypass Infinity when frankly the answer is obvious. Rika herself would copy Infinity and use it to counter Gojo. How? Simple.
His toenails.
Geto constantly has to swallow Curses whole. The man must endure a taste so vile that us mortals (or ningens) could not properly comprehend or apperciate. Being the good friend he is, Gojo would of course, frequently offer Geto good tasting food to counteract this abhorrent ritual. And what better taste is there than the musky sweat of Gojo's soles and toes?
Now, Geto is Gojo's best friend. So if he wanted to gnaw on his toenails a little, he wouldn't deny him that (ladies, learn from this.) And, like any of us would do in his shoes. Instead of swallowing them, Geto would instead keep the toenails underneath his tongue to later put in jars for future use. At first this would just be used for a little urethra play when he is alone and lonely. But with Rika, it could be used to copy Infinity.
It's just that simple.
Anywho I hope this cleared things up for you all. Please have a nice day and try not to spread any more misconceptions about Gege's glorious work. Good day and god bless.

Just wanted to share some positive news on this sub since I know there are a lot of you struggling out there!
I tested positive for ureaplasma around Valentine’s Day lol and was prescribed a week of doxycycline (to be taken twice a day). I know that the Bible here says to follow up w azy, but my nyc gyno wouldn’t give it to me; said to try just doxy first and then we’d see.
I was nervous since there are a bunch of stories on here saying that doxy alone wouldn’t cut it, so I did everything in my power to make sure the antibiotics were at full strength. Took on an empty stomach (no meals two hours before or after pills), kept dairy to minimum, cut out caffeine and alcohol for the week, avoided foods high in zinc.
My noticeable symptoms were a pang-like feeling in the pelvic area, not all the time, but in spurts, pressure/bloating in urethra, not feeling like I could empty my bladder unless I really really sit there and relax, and radiating pain from my hip joint.
While on doxy, these symptoms definitely revved up on all fronts, and I have you guys to thank for keeping my anxiety in check— apparently that was all very normal.
And this morning I got my labcorp results back and they say I’m clear !!!! I’m stoked !! It’s possible, you guys!!
My only persisting symptom is the slight pain radiation, as well as slight issues with fully emptying bladder (which is def from unintentional muscle contraction down there, and also stems from me having a huge cyst so can’t fully attribute that to ureaplasma), otherwise I feel back to normal!
Keep hanging in there, ladies and gents! We can beat this!

Cast: Vagina Sinclair, a young yet talented Queen who has so much to discover but has raw potential.
Bambina Fasa, a Drag Veteran with a huge reputation in the Drag scene. Everyone loves her.
Kristina Giallo, a haunted heroine whose friends have all been murdered by a clown during one of her performances. She has refused to lipsync ever since.
Pussy Buffonery, a Drag Clown and alt artist. They are often misunderstood and were bullied as a kid.
Fleshlight Vader, a bitchy Queen who loves drama.
Madison Urethra, a theater Queen who has weaponized their BFA.
Gooning Escada, a Voguing Queen who is here to bring to bring Ballroom to Drag Race.
Gen D, a young white Tik Tok Queen who loves to use AAVE.
Cassie Oxide, a Queen who can be too hard on herself and has a mysterious past.
Geralt Halliwell, the first Drag King to be on Drag Race.
Faerie Sphincter, a Queen obsessed by fairy tales and fantasy.
Enema Lovato, the number one Demi Lovato impersonator.
Premiere: Double episode. Vagina is the first to enter and then meet Gen D who they befriend. Fleshlight coming in and is being shady. Kristina is next and is acting shy until Pussy enters. Kristina screams as she sees Pussy and hides inside a closet. Enema comes next and talks longly about Demi Lovato, boring everyone. Cassie enters and jokes a bit, Fleshlight throws shade at her and Cassie laughs but her left eye twitches a little. Gooning is next and she volleys back Fleshlight's shade. Madison's entrance is skipped. People are wowed by Geralt and Faerie's entrances. Suddenly, everyone is shook to see Bambina enter since she is a Drag Legend. Vagina is the happiest since Bambina is her Drag Mother.
The mini challenge is runway and performance and Bambina slays it, unquestionably winning it. The maxi-challenge is sewing and Bambina is again not worried since she used to sew a lot. Whereas, Vagina is not as confident since she does not know how to sew, but Bambina is here to help her, much to the side-eyes of the other Queens. While Bambina helps the other Queens sew, Kristina hides under the fabric because she refuses to look at Pussy Buffonery. Cassie is also doing good too.
Bambina, Kristina, Vagina, Cassie, Fleshlight, Faerie are called. They are the tops and bottoms of the week. Fleshligh, Faerie, Carrie are praised for their looks while the others are the bottom three. Bambina's look is almost nothing because she wasted too much time helping the other Queens. Faerie is the winner of the Sewing Challenge. Shockingly, Kristina is called safe and Bambina and Vagina have to lipsync against each other to This Time Baby by Jackie Moore.
Bambina Fasa is the first elimination of the season.
Episode Two: Vagina is in shock and destroyed over the elimination of her Drag Mother. Most of the cast shades Vagina and thinks she does not deserve to stay over Bambina. The only person who stands up for Vagina is Gen D. This causes another drama to happen when Gooning calls out Gen D for being white and using AAVE.
The second challenge is an acting challenge where the Queens have to make their own dialogues. Fleshlight shades Vagina over Bambina not being here anymore to ghostwrite Vagina's lines. Meanwhile, Gen D and Gooning talk things out and Gen D maturely apologizes to everyone and the audience over using AAVE, to which Gooning forgives her. Madison is about to say something but it cuts to the runway.
Vagina, Fleshlight, Gooning, Kristina, Enema, and Gen D are called. Kristina, Fleshlight, and Vagina are the top three while Gooning, Enema, and Gen D are are the bottom three. The judges compliment Kristina for her fascinating acting but wishes she could come out of her shell and are impressed with Vagina. Gen D is criticized for not being able to do anything apart from a Demi Lovato impression.
Vagina Sinclair wins the challenge but her only friend left Gen D is in the bottom with Gooning Escada.
Gen D and Gooning lipsync to Chromatica II + 911 by Lady Gaga and Gooning murders Gen D. Gen D is the second elimination.
Episode Three: Vagina is celebrated for their win and the cast apologizes for underestimating her except Fleshlight who keeps on shading her. Gooning snaps and stands up for Vagina, making Fleshlight cry and run away. The next main challenge is the Snatch Game and Enema wants to go out as Demi, despite Rupaul's warning.
Later, Pussy, the only Queen who likes Fleshlight, talks to her and Fleshlight slips in some words about her insecurities but moves on by shading Vagina again. Gooning calls out Fleshlight and Fleshlight starts to cry and runs out of the room again.
Gooning, Geralt, Kristina, Faerie, Enema, Madison, and Cassie. Geralt starts crying because he is sure to be in the bottom, but is actually in the top 4 with Madison, Cassie, and Gooning, and the jugdes tell him to believe more in himself. Geralt tells everyone about the pressure of being the first Drag King on Drag Race and exhales. Kristina is criticized again for being too reserved.
In Untucked, Kristina has an epic mental breakdown where she delivers an iconic speech about her fear of clowns and her refusal to lipsync ever again. Kristina punches a cameraman and runs out.
Gooning wins the challenge and Cassie's left eye twitches again.
Since the bodyguards could not find Kristina for the lipsync, the bottom two are Faerie and Enema. Faerie is scared because Enema is a performer while Faerie feels like they are only good at fashion. They lipsync to Tell Me You Love Me and Enema does not know the words despite it being a Demi Lovato's song. Enema reveals that they forgot the lyrics out of stress and Faerie surprisingly does well.
Enema Lovato is the third elimination.
Episode Four: Kristina is brought back by the security and Fleshlight shades her. Kristina has another mental breakdown and starts ranting to the ghosts of her dead friends and throws a chair at Fleshlight who dodges it by one hair.
The next challenge is a Rusical and Kristina is scared because she does not want to lipsync to the songs. Whereas, Cassie really hopes she can win a challenge this time and her voice cracks a bit. Then, Fleshlight starts shading everyone and Pussy tells her to calm down, to which Fleshlight shades her too. Pussy is upset and stops talking to Fleshlight, saddening her even though she does not want to show it.
Fleshlight, Cassie, Kristina, Geralt, Madison, and Pussy are called. Cassie is utterly praised by the judges and cries tears of happiness.
Madison Urethra wins the Rusical.
Cassie has a facecrack that actually causes an earthquake to happen.
The bottom three are Fleshlight, Pussy, and Kristina, but Pussy is ultimately called safe.
Cassie seethes quietly in Untucked while Kristina has another mental breakdown because she refuses to lipsync. Most of the Queens try to reassure Kristina because they are tired of Fleshlight's bullshit. Pussy then talks aside to Kristina and apologizes on behalf of all the clowns for what happened to Kristina who is actually touched.
Fleshlight Vader and Kristina Giallo lipsync to Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from the Phantom of the Opera. Kristina does nothing and stands still while the Queens in the back shouts at her to send Fleshlight's ass packing. Suddenly, the ghosts of Kristina's friends appear in front of and encourage her. Kristina smiles and lipsyncs for the first time in forever. Kristina slays the lipsyncs and wins.
Fleshlight Vader is the fourth out and the cast cheered.
Episode Five: Kristina is congratulated for vanquishing her refusal to lipsync. Then, Cassie suddenly burst and starts insulting Madison over stealing her win. Kristina laughs at Cassie having a mental breakdown with her ghost friends. Madison is about to retort at Cassie but the intro cuts her off.
The next challenge is the Drag Ball, the categories are Drag Extravaganza, your Best Drag, and Drag Couture.
Faerie, Geralt, Pussy, Vagina, Cassie, and Madison are called. Faerie, Geralt, and Pussy are the top three and Geralt wins the Ball. Vagina is called safe and the bottom two are Cassie and Madison.
Faerie is sad in Untucked over not winning a fashion challenge but Geralt tells her she is not just a fashion Queen and can be good at lipsyncs too, cheering her up. Meanwhile, Cassie is alone in front of a mirror and is boiling with fury. She starts singing No Good Deed from Wicked and smears makeup all over her face before laughing manically as thunder strikes.
Cassie Oxide and Madison Urethra lipsync to Love is a Contact Sport by Whitney Sport. Cassie goes absolutely feral and grabs Madison, lifts her, and throws her through a window. The security comes in but Cassie fights them away while snarling and cackling.
Rupaul tears up and tells her this is the passion she is looking for while Michelle tells Cassie that she finally sees the real her.
Madison Urethra is the fifth elimination.
Episode Six: The rest of the cast congratulates Geralt over his win while sitting away from Cassie who is blinking from only her left eye and giggling on her own.
The challenge is a roast and Cassie channels her hatred over the rest of the cast to read them for filth.
Cassie, Gooning, Geralt, Faerie, Kristina, and Pussy are called. Cassie, Gooning, and Geralt and the top three and Geralt gets a lot of praise and Cassie accidentally lets out a seagull screech. Kristina is called too nice but relalively funny so she is safe while Faerie and Pussy are the bottom two.
Pussy is sad over the possibility of leaving and Kristina surprisingly comforts Pussy despite her fear of clowns.
Cassie shakes and foams as they come back and Rupaul compliments Geralt again. Ultimately, Rupaul calls Geralt safe and gives the win to Cassie who breaks down and passes out.
Faerie Sphincter and Pussy Buffonery lipsync to Deepthroat by Cupcakke. Much to everyone's awe, Faerie slays the lipsync and reveals various dildos.
Pussy Buffonery is the sixth elimination.
Episode Seven: Cassie is still unconscious over winning a challenge but the cast keeps on.
The challenge is a makeover and the cast is paired with the eliminated Queens.
Pussy Buffonery is with Kristina, Bambina is with Vagina, Gen D is with Gooning, Madison is with Faerie, Enema is with Geralt, and Fleshlight is with Cassie who is still unconscious.
Kristina bonds with Pussy out of drag and actually copes with her fear of clowns by befriending Pussy. Meanwhile, Bambina is proud of Vagina and Geralt helps Enema discover that they be more than a Demi Lovato impersonator by dragging him up as Orlando Bloom.
Kristina, Geralt, and Faerie are in the top three while Vagina, Cassie, and Gooning are in the bottom. Kristina wins the makeover while Vagina and Cassie are up for elimination.
BUT, since Cassie is still unconscious, the eliminated Queens will lipsync to save their makeover partner. So Bambina Fasa and Fleshlight Vader will lipsync to respectively save Vagina Sinclair and Cassie Oxide.
Bambina and Fleslight lipsync to The Glamorous Life by Sheila E. Bambina gives everything to save her drag daughter and shows to everyone why she is a Drag Legend.
Cassie is the seventh elimination.
Cassie finally wakes up as she is getting eliminated and snarls at Rupaul. She is dragged away by the security as she vows to get her revenge on Rupaul who laughs it off.
Episode Eighth: The top five have to do a Rumix to Cattitude by Miley Cyrus and Rupaul.
Fast enough, Faerie is called the winner of the Rumix.
BUT, Rupaul says that there is another challenge for the safe Queens who will now perform to Let Loose by Loosey Laduca. Gooning and Vagina win the Let Loose challenge and the bottom two are Kristina and Geralt.
Kristina Giallo and Geralt Halliwell lipsync to Send in the Clowns by Judy Collins. Kristina cries as she put white makeup on her face. The judges as Kristina paints herself as a clown and finally defeats her fear.
Rupaul weeps and says it is the best lipsync she has ever seen.
Geralt Halliwell is eliminated just before the finale.
Episode 9: Reunited.
The Queens fight each other and Cassie is taken away by the FBI.
Episode 10: The Queens each perform an original musical number. Vagina lipsyncs to "For Mama Vagina", Faerie lipsyncs to "I'm a Fashion Slut", Gooning vogues to "Noguing", and Kristina performs to "I was the Clown all along".
The top two are Vagina Sinclair and Kristina Giallo and they lipsync for the crown to Dancing Queen by Cher. Vagina pulls stunts and dances moves but Kristina then reveals Pussy Buffonery under her gown and hugs her. Kristina then uses her ghost friends to fly and twirls around.
Kristina Giallo is the winner of Rupaul's Drag Race Season 17.

So I had sex with a Asian massage lady about 46 days ago we used a condom but before she put it on she gave me a blowjob without it we had vaginal sex with a condom but then as I was about to finish she took it off and sucked me off again I finished between her legs without touching her vagina after about 24 days I started to get some groin and testicle pain I freaked out and went to the ER I had blood work and a urine sample they said everything looked fine and sent me home same day so fast forward to today about three days ago I started to have some urethra pain and burning/tingling Should I be worried do you guys think it’s and STI/STD should I get tested again ?

Had UTI symptoms for over a month, blood in urine was detected and everything listed was "abnormal" yet doctor claims I don't have an infection?!
This month was absolute hell for me. during the first of the month, I got my period unexpectedly and ended up with a UTI at the same time. During the first week I had pain during urinating, having the urgency to empty my bladder every five seconds, and my urethra felt like it was on fire itself.
On the 6th when I've done a urine test, everything came back abnormal except the flora. There was traces of blood in my urine. My doctor messaged me stating that there was traces of an infection but I was no longer infected apparently. She prescribed me a weeks worth of antibiotics.
After the pills were gone, I went in for my yearly check up on the 14th. She did a swab test. I winced in pain because again my lady bits were sore. she said that everything looked fine down there but I had a burning sensation all around my urethra. So after getting the results back from the swab, everything came back normal.
Throughout these past weeks, I've been stranded on my toilet trying to get every last drop of urine out of my body. The uncomfortable pressure that I've been feeling feels like drinking a gallon of water and holding it in for hours. Expect little to nothing comes out when I actually go.
So after all of that, I was and still experiencing side effects of a UTI. I even contacted my doctor again and did another urine test on the 28th. The test results were almost the exact same as the first urine test. There is still traces of blood in my urine with "abnormal" results on everything expect the flora.
Here I am, still stranded on the toilet trying to release urine that isn't even there. I am currently at my wits end and my doctor keeps brushing off my symptoms. She won't give me any suggestions or ask me any questions. She just tells me to get a urine test done and says "you're negative for an infection". I don't know what to do anymore. The constant feeling like I'm about to piss myself from a full bladder,is driving me insane. Every day for the past 29 days, Ive felt like my bladder was about to explode. I've had plenty of UTI's in my life, but NONE of them were as severe as this. I don't know what to do.

This month was absolute hell for me. during the first of the month, I got my period unexpectedly and ended up with a UTI at the same time. During the first week I had pain during urinating, having the urgency to empty my bladder every five seconds, and my urethra felt like it was on fire itself.
On the 6th when I've done a urine test, everything came back abnormal except the flora. There was traces of blood in my urine. My doctor messaged me stating that there was traces of an infection but I was no longer infected apparently. She prescribed me a weeks worth of antibiotics.
After the pills were gone, I went in for my yearly check up on the 14th. She did a swab test. I winced in pain because again my lady bits were sore. she said that everything looked fine down there but I had a burning sensation all around my urethra. So after getting the results back from the swab, everything came back normal.
Throughout these past weeks, I've been stranded on my toilet trying to get every last drop of urine out of my body. The uncomfortable pressure that I've been feeling feels like drinking a gallon of water and holding it in for hours. Expect little to nothing comes out when I actually go.
So after all of that, I was and still experiencing side effects of a UTI. I even contacted my doctor again and did another urine test on the 28th. The test results were almost the exact same as the first urine test. There is still traces of blood in my urine with "abnormal" results on everything expect the flora.
Here I am, still stranded on the toilet trying to release urine that isn't even there. I am currently at my wits end and my doctor keeps brushing off my symptoms. She won't give me any suggestions or ask me any questions. She just tells me to get a urine test done and says "you're negative for an infection". I don't know what to do anymore. The constant feeling like I'm about to piss myself from a full bladder,is driving me insane. Every day for the past 29 days, Ive felt like my bladder was about to explode. I've had plenty of UTI's in my life, but NONE of them were as severe as this. I don't know what to do.

Let me preface this by saying reporting won't do anything other than getting me out of a job. This is not happening in a North American or an European country.
I graduated from Vet School in 2020. Since then, I've seen my share of colleagues and, although I liked and connected with some more than others, I know they were all great vets that genuinely wanted to do what was best for their patients, within their own beliefs and knowledge.
Recently I moved to a new clinic, where I am working as a tech/nurse. Not directly as a vet, at least not most of the time. I'm working with two actual vets. And one of them is the worst professional I have ever met.
It started by small things that I thought were basic, like recommending the owners to clear the ears of their dogs and cats before applying the medication needed for their otitis. The first few otitis cases we had came back because the treatment finished and they were still sick. In one of these cases, he blamed the fact the owners were going through a divorce and laughed at them.
Then it was a ginger cat scheduled for neutered. The owner was positive it still had a testicle because it still responded to females on heat, but it had to still be in the abdominal cavity (cryptorchid testes). The ultrasound was inconclusive. He opened the cat anyway, and couldn't find the testicle. But he did cut the cat in three different places in his abdomen and was extremely rough handling the cuts and the fat. The wounds took weeks to heal. The client's last messages to us were in all caps, furious, and he laughed at them because she was just another crazy cat lady.
Then it was an 18 year old cat coming in with constipation. He was promptly diagnosed with renal and liver failure and urinary blockage. A urinary catheter was inserted on the cat's urethra with no sedation or pain killers. The entire procedure was done without gloves. The blood tests showed very mild renal signs, matching a simple dehydration. They also showed very low levels of platelets, which were never addressed. The X-Ray showed massive gas accumulation on his colon that was never addressed, and severe spondylosis (arthritis of the spine) that was also never addressed. The day after I went to the client's house for a supplements and vitamins injection, the cat passed away. I was only informed a week later by stumbling upon unanswered WhatsApp messages.
Then he requested tick and flea spot-on for cats, which up until that point he had been against. I asked him to collect some of the brands he wanted to work with so I could search for their suppliers. One of the pictures he sent me was of Advantix. This is a spot-on that can only be used for dogs as it contains Permethrin, which cats cannot metabolize, causing convulsions, coma and death. I told him I was against this as it was lethal for cats. His reply was that all medications are lethal and that he had seen dogs die to this medication as well.
This person is consistently disrespectful, arrogant, ignorant, towards both his clients and his patients, and he has already made it perfectly clear he does not care for, or respect my opinion while demanding I do what he says without question.
Today he put another urinary catheter on another male cat without sedation, all because it was 15 minutes before he had to leave and he couldn't afford for him to fall asleep to do it painlessly.
I have to co-exist with this person again in 3 days and I do not want to anymore.

Hey guys, i was a iv drug user for 15 years. 4 of those where on methamphetamine. 5 years ago i got sober, had symptoms but they went completely away. i stayed sober for 2 years. Then i relapsed, and when i got sober this time its been 6 months and in the past 6 months it has gotten better but nowhere near normal. Im thinking since im so skinny 135lb male 510 that the meth use cooked my bladder a little bit. I mean methamphetamine is highly acidic. Anyways i have no symptoms besides having to pee 24 7 and what feels like a very slight irritation in the urethra and right above my penis, i can usually get through the night without having to pee though which is wierd that its only during the daytime. I have recently started drinking alot of water, also putting baking soda and garlic in water. Got a referall to a urologist but since i just got sober i have no car and my referall is to a urologist 2 hours away bc i just moved into an oxford house. I was taking azo bladder control and it helped me not pee quite as much but just recently started regular azo as of last night and when i woke up this morning i didnt feel the irritation, just a slight urge to pee but like a urge to pee knowing there was really nothing there. While on methamphetamine the only time i would have symptoms is when i was sick off of suboxone (buprenorphine/naloxone) also while in rehab the last time i got sober my back was on fire, i thought it was a kidney infection or something but i did get a kidney function test recently and all is well. Got a standard uti test and nothing. Got a blood test and it only showed what looks like hypoparathyroidism but my next doctor appointment is on the 8th of next month so havent been able to discuss results, just saw it on the app was in red and googled what my reading ment and it said hypoparathyroidism is most likely cause. I recently got some teeth pulled and got amoxicillin for it so if it was anything curable by amoxicillin its not that.
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I posted on the OAB reddit and a lady said to get checked for ureaplasma, i sent my doctor the request but she said shes not sure she can do it since shes a pcp. Told me to let her know what happens with the urologist first.
I dont have any pain whatsoever though. Its like a mild uti with no burning is the only way i could describe it. Its such a minor irritation that i wonder why if it was possible for what i have to heal itself it hasnt already in 6 months. I try and hold my pee because the more i pee the more i have to pee, if i go back to urinating everytime i feel like there is something to urinate i will go back to drops. In 6 months ive gone from drops to being able to hold 10-13oz. which is normal urination but i have to hold it in from about 6-8oz.
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Thank you

So context I’ve (18F never sexually active) been having some stankin and irritatin going on down there since about January and only recently realized that I missed my last Depo injection which was due in December. Not sure if those are correlated but either way I needed to get my ass to the gynecologist. More context, I have never dared to attempt tampons and have never had an “up close and personal” exam at the gyno.
First of all, whoever scheduled me put me at 2pm for the Depo shot and 2:30 for the consult for some reason instead of doing them at the same time … I got there at 1:45, was sitting until 2:45 when they finally got me back there. The poor receptionists kept coming over to apologize and assure that they would be taking me any minute now
First gyn was nice, I explained my sitiation and she asked if I wanted to do a vaginal swab to test for BV and yeast, and when she saw the face I made at that suggestion, she offered that I could do a urine sample because some women feel more comfortable with that and they can still do the same tests. So I said sure, why the heck not, I’ll pee in your cup! Got it done and then the same lady came back and did my Depo shot.
Then she said hold on, I’ll grab another lady for your consult. I’m waiting for 10 minutes and then this lady comes in asking if my Depo shot went fine and how dare I miss a single shot and that’s gonna fuck up my hormones (as if I haven’t noticed already thank you Janet) and she asks if I’m sexually active, when my last period was, and my height and says “ok any other questions or concerns?” I said yes actually, I have this Problem that the other nurse should’ve told you about and she had me pee in a cup… when I say this woman was AGHAST.. straight up bewildered like WHY would I pee in the cup? You can’t test pee in a cup for BV and yeast. That’s insane. I’m insane. Her nurse friend is insane. Peeing in a cup is insane.
So after I’m like yes I know how crazy, obviously I’m agreeing with you because you’re so right and of course I understand how this works—she’s like “let’s do a swab” and throws a paper gown at me. I said ahhh no actually not a fan of that idea! She says “you can self swab if you want?” I don’t immediately say no so she says, “alright here’s a Q tip, when you’re done stick it into this vial. Make sure you get it deep enough or the tests will be inconclusive.”
She yells out into the hallway “LAUREN WE HAVE A SELF SWAB” and the first nurse who is apparently Lauren says “I’ll get you some gloves!” Second nurse yanks the curtain shut and closes the door.
No explanation on what “deep enough” means, no hints as to how long or what angle or what to do when it’s in there… this was an unguided solo quest.
And I am a girl standing alone in an office at the gynecologist with only a Q tip and a dream. I searched desperately on the walls of the office for a diagram, a step-by-step, ANYTHING but alas had to resort to google, which provided me with no real answers and only more confusion.
I’m not going to describe the several minutes long process of me trying to figure out what the hell to do with this Q tip but I will say I am almost absolutely positive I shoved that mofo into my urethra. I have no idea what to do now or how to explain this to them but my results are going to come back inconclusive because as stated earlier that Q tip did not go into the right room 🤦‍♀️
Moral of the story, I am clearly never allowed to have a normal experience at the gynecologist. And please ask your gynos questions so you don’t do what I did!!

Initial post
Going for an std test tomorrow, it’s on my testicles and it’s not especially painful only stings when touched almost like a friction burn or a scrape… and I don’t believe I had blisters before I would of felt them in the shower?? help it feels like it just suddenly appeared?
https://postimg.cc/yDMLLndW
Update1
blood test came back non reactive for HSV II and Syphilis but I’m wondering if it’s because the sore dried up somewhat to be honest plus the nurse doing the test kinda indicated that she thought it wasn’t herpes and she’s seen a lot of herpes, waiting for the swab results - freaking nerve racking…..
Update 2
All tests (swab, blood, urine and urethra swab) came back negative - guess it was a chafe or the lady I was with manhandled my balls cause I do remember wincing for a second she may have scratched them? I’ll never know… will test again after 12 weeks just to make sure
Update 3
Sore is healing nicely - no brown or yellow crust as described in the medical text and no pain?
Just looking for some reassurance - thanks

Going for an std test tomorrow, it’s on my testicles and it’s not especially painful only stings when touched almost like a friction burn or a scrape… and I don’t believe I had blisters before I would of felt them in the shower?? help it feels like it just suddenly appeared?
https://postimg.cc/yDMLLndW
Update: blood test came back non reactive for HSV II and Syphilis but I’m wondering if it’s because the sore dried up somewhat to be honest plus the nurse doing the test kinda indicated that she thought it wasn’t herpes and she’s seen a lot of herpes, waiting for the swab results - freaking nerve racking…..
Further Update: All tests (swab, blood, urine and urethra swab) came back negative - guess it was a chafe or the lady I was with manhandled my balls cause I do remember wincing for a second she may have scratched them? I’ll never know… will test again after 12 weeks just to make sure

Hi, all. I don’t usually post on Reddit, but I’m at my wit’s end and I don’t know what else to do. My eyes have crystals in them. Nobody else will believe me and the guilt has been driving me insane. I can’t think straight. I apologize for the rambling; I’ve never been one for telling stories, but if I don’t do this now, the truth about what really happened will never be told. I owe it to her to at least put this out somewhere. I’ve just been so ashamed. I’m sorry, Eve. I’m a real piece of shit and you deserved better. Now, I can only hope that we’ll all go down in flames.
--
Five months ago, my girlfriend and I went on an anniversary trip to the Amazon rainforest. While we had only been together for a year, Eve was an incredibly sentimental person, taking great joy in planning and celebrating small anniversary events for each month that we’d been dating. The first month, she’d treated us to dinner at the museum where we’d had our first date. My salmon rolls were overpriced and stale, but when you’re lucky enough to be in the presence of the most stunning woman in the world, almost every moment is something to be savored. Speaking of our first date; it happened spontaneously the first time we met, which is not something I’d ever imagine myself saying. It was a particularly nasty winter that year, and I had some time to kill after work that day, so I took a long walk to an uptown art museum. With no real plan or initiative, I meandered my way through the exhibits, pausing to sketch anything that caught my eye, when I felt someone behind me tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and, wow. An angel. No, a literal angel tattoo on her right hand, tufted plumes of feathers radiating outward and snaking up her forearm. “I like your tat-” I tried to choke out before she repeated her question, “what’s your favorite piece from this period?” Huh? “You know…” she gestured towards the display case that I didn’t even realize I had been sketching. Perhaps pitying my social ineptitude, she picked up the conversation and explained her own personal interest in the complexities of mid 1800s glass production. Two hours later, we were holding hands in front of a medieval suit of armor and she gave me a peck on the cheek. Right then and there, I knew she was the one.
We had both planned for the first year anniversary trip well in advance, spending months scraping together what little disposable income we had to purchase tickets to Ecuador. Growing up vicariously exploring the jungle through the lens of nature documentaries, it had been Eve’s dream to visit the Amazon rainforest and finally experience, in person, the beauty and perils in equal measure that she had been so enthralled with on the clunky beige computer of her childhood home. This fascination eventually manifested itself in the form of “piles upon piles of library books” and, later on, “midnight excursions down the great Wikipedia Rabbit Hole”. She was always so happy to share her love for the rainforest, dispensed through various tidbits of knowledge, hoping that it would rub off on me. “Hey,” she'd say, “did you know three-toed sloths are three times stronger than the average human? They’re also excellent swimmers. We’re lucky they’re so sl-ooooow,” and, “did you know there’s a little parasitic fish that swims up peoples’ urethras while they’re swimming in the Amazon river?” “Eeeew, Eve. How is that one a fun fact? That’s just gross.” “Yeah, but like, only people with junk, so we’d be okay,” …and so on. So while I wasn’t surprised when she’d asked, fists practically clenched with anticipation, if we could do this very special trip for a very special occasion, I’d initially been on the fence about the whole idea, leaning strongly towards the side of not encountering abnormally strong xenarthran mammals or creepy parasitic fish.
For one, between our meager customer service salaries and the astronomical and still-somehow-rising prices of rent, saving up for such a trip would take nothing short of a Herculean effort. I was also something of a homebody who was more than content to remain in the familiar confines of the city. My only wilderness experience was that of a summer camping trip that my cousins and I went on in the Catskills when I was a little kid. I remember it being a wholly unpleasant slog, getting sick from licking hot chocolate powder straight from the bag and being devoured alive by mosquitoes. Knowing this, Eve had taken my dislike for the non-air-conditioned into consideration and proposed a sort of compromise. “Serenity Rainforest Villa,” the website boasted, “is an all-inclusive luxury retreat into the beautiful Amazon Rainforest of Ecuador. Explore the Amazon through engaging private tours with our world-class guides, and surround yourself with the comforts of your own fully-furnished cabin. We guarantee that you will have the experience of a lifetime.” Scrolling down, picture after picture of exuberant tourists filled the screen. Eve signaled for me to stop scrolling. “Look, Mina, I think that’s a saki monkey! Look how cute it is!”
The enthusiasm on Eve’s face as we sifted through the site was infectious, and over the course of the next few days, I couldn’t help but let myself be convinced that this trip could be a good way for me to reconnect with the outdoors, and yes, the monkeys were admittedly very, very cute. Escaping the gray sludge of another unusually cold winter for an entire week was also an undeniable bonus. More than anything, though, I really wanted to make my girlfriend happy. I’d made a big show of grumbling and muttering about being coerced into something I had no say over in the first place, but she’d received her answer the next day in the form of a field guide book. Eve hugged me tight as I melted, a long hug that persisted all throughout the summer and fall. More days than not, we’d collapse from exhaustion once we got home after working extra shifts, but we both pushed on with fervor, knowing that it would all be worth it.
And that’s how months of our quite literal blood, sweat, and tears lead us to a cheerful, nondescript green dock on the Amazon river. Our guide, Albert, was waiting for us next to the speedboat that would bring us to the resort. A chatty yet stoic man with a permanently furrowed brow, Albert was a father of two, spending half of his time as a tour guide, the other half as an English teacher, and the third half, he joked, parenting his children. He was from a small village nestled deep within the rainforest and grew up fishing alongside his brothers. A few times a month, he and his brothers would paddle their boat filled with their prized salt-preserved fish to a larger trading village to barter for other goods. Albert was particularly fond of books and had never failed to leave the post without one or two on every trip, purchased with his cut of the allowance. This was how he had taught himself English over the years.
“You two chose a good time to come, it’s the wet season right now,” he explained as we glided over the muddy waves,” lots of people mistake the wet season for the rainy season, but the river is actually rising due to melting snow from the mountains. Organic debris gets swept in along the way, so keep your eyes out for manatees and pink river dolphins.” Eve’s eyes widened as she all but craned her head out of the window, making Albert laugh. “Here, we have an old myth about the pink river dolphins. Boto encantado, they come out of the water at night disguised as handsome men. They dance all night with the women in the villages, and take them to the underworld by the morning.” Eve remained silent, staring intently at the water. “The boat ride will take two more hours, and the other guests will have already arrived. You two should nap if you’re tired. By the time we get there, dinner will be ready.” Eve and I both took in as many sights as we could during the first hour of the boat ride, but a combination of several hours of restless plane rides and the gentle rocking motion of the waves eventually lulled us into a peaceful sleep.
“...wake up, get excited, we’re here,” Albert’s voice drifted into our ears as he nudged the back of our seats, “we’re just in time for dinner, let’s go.” He steadied the boat against another little green dock as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, finally taking in just how magnificent the place really was: four covered wooden walkways, each corresponding to a cardinal direction, balanced precariously on an intricate network of stilts, creating a sort of compass. At the farthest bounds of the compass, barely visible from my vantage point, private cabins nestled in the lush foliage. The center of the compass, distinctly established by the converging walkways, housed a circular courtyard and an absolutely enormous thatched hut that towered spectacularly over the trees. “This is the Big Lodge,” Albert announced, “used as the common and dining areas. Here, you can chat with the other guests between activities at all hours of the day. You have meal vouchers for two meals a day, to be eaten whenever you’d like before nine p.m. Breakfast is complimentary, but you have to get here early between six and eight a.m if you want any. Kitchen and upstairs staff area are off-limits. Got it?” We nodded, following him inside.
While the outside had been hot and humid under the oppressive rainforest sun, the inside of the Big Lodge was an airy refuge that smelled of lemongrass and suntan lotion. String lights dangled from the ceiling, casting dancing specks of light onto a massive polished wooden table below. At the back of the room, a brick wall separated the public guest areas from the private kitchen. Just like our guide had said, the other guests, about a dozen of us total, had already taken their places at the table. Some of them nodded towards us in acknowledgement as we awkwardly shuffled into our seats, and Eve struck up a conversation with a couple to our right who I gradually came to know as Chiara, an energetic thirty-something vet tech with a sonorous laugh, and Matt, her husband, a quiet man with the bluest eyes I had ever seen, rarely caught without the huge camera strapped around his neck. “Matt loves that thing,” Chiara said, playfully punching him on the shoulder, “he got it last Christmas and hasn’t put it down since! It’s practically a part of him now.” Matt smiled sheepishly and snapped a picture of her in response.
Shortly after we had taken our seats, a tall, professional-looking woman with an austere brunette bob strode confidently out of the industrial kitchen door to the head of the table. Dressed in an impeccably fitted white sheath dress, she looked out of place in the middle of the rainforest to the point of absurdity. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of all of us here, I’d like to extend to you our warmest welcome to Serenity.” She paused, as if evaluating us for a moment. “My name is Amelia and I will be your events coordinator for the duration of your stay. Please, do not hesitate to ask me any questions or make any requests, anything at all to make your stay here perfect.” She grinned, flashing a mouthful of unsettlingly white teeth, “I know that presently, all of you must be starving. So first, before anything else, let’s eat.”
I was no foodie; back at home, I would’ve probably taken a box of Kraft mac and cheese over just about anything, but the food we had that night might have been some of the best food that I ever had in my life. A tender cut of steak, seasoned with herbs whose names my mouth could not make the proper sounds for, practically melted upon hitting my tongue. Accompanying it was a side of vibrant orange rice, stewed in a rich tomato broth, and a small ramekin of creamy scalloped potatoes. Around us, the other guests murmured in approval. “Isn’t this amazing, Mina?” “I didn’t know food could taste this good,” I replied, and Eve reached for my hand under the table. “I’ll ask them the recipe,” I said, interlocking my fingers with hers, “I’ll ask them the recipe, and I’ll learn how to make this stuff, and we can eat it every day until we get tired of it or we run out of money…if you’d like that.” “Of course. I’d love that, Mina. I love you.”
I love you. I love you. It echoed through my mind as we headed down the south walkway, scurrying past a disturbing amount of tarantulas that had begun to congregate under the soft beams of the overhead lights. I love you, I giddily thought as we drifted off to sleep in our cabin, just the two of us, serenaded by the rhythmic lullabies of millions of frogs and giant, neon-colored cicadas. When the sun began to rise, this nighttime song ebbed away, replaced by all manner of shrieks and trills and chatter of birds, and the whole canopy erupted into a cacophony of conversation. I could barely hear a thing. I was in a trance, I was floating. We’re really, actually here, and it’s not a dream. She’s happy, and we’re in love. And so, in this way, the first two days passed in a blissful daze. We woke up to the chorus of birds, began our ritual of fastidiously applying sunscreen and bug spray onto each other, and made our way up to the Big Lodge, where we ate breakfasts of pancakes and scrambled eggs with Chiara and Matt.
After breakfast, Albert took us on walking and boat tours along the Amazon river, joined by his teenage son, Victor, a soft-spoken boy who acted as a lookout for animals of interest in the canopy. Time after time, he would point at something that we could not see. A toucan, perfectly camouflaged as a splotch of brown, perched on top of a tree. A flock of green parrots, from a distance near indistinguishable from the fruits that they ate, preparing to take flight. A family of spider monkeys, nimbly making their way through a maze of branches, undetected. And while at first we could not see them, eventually our eyes had learned to adjust. “When you see one, you see them all,” Victor said, and quickly, one spider monkey turned into a group of fifty, peering curiously down at us from the trees. When Eve spotted the macaw before Albert or Victor managed to, our little party broke out into a round of applause, and she positively beamed with pride.
After the nature walks, we stopped by the dining area for short lunch breaks before continuing on with our afternoon activities. We went swimming in the murky, vaguely chthonic water of the aptly named blackwater section of the river. Eve did, at least. “It’s perfectly fine, I promise,” she said, twirling around in the water, attempting to coax me in, “I know it looks scary but it’s this color because of the tannins from the leaves that have fallen in.” I didn’t budge. “It’s good for your skin.” Hesitantly, I dipped my hand in, the water quickly swallowing up my fingertips. I couldn’t see anything past my submerged knuckles. Images of men who turned into dolphins, feeding on the bodies of their hapless victims filled my mind, and I imagined a hand, offering a dance, dragging me down into the darkness. I quickly yanked my hand out.
“Hey! You guys, come here for a sec!” On the evening of the third day, Chiara waved us over as we stepped through the doors of Big Lodge for dinner. “Check this out,” she said, thrusting Matt’s camera towards us. “Our tour guide took us down to the giant lily pad pond today, right? It was nice, but then Matty saw something weird on one of the lily pads off in the distance. When he zoomed in, it turned out to be a vial and some sort of syringe just tossed aside there. And then a couple of yards past that, as we were walking by, we saw an open cage in the undergrowth.” “We thought the vial could have been filled with sedatives, for the catch and release of a large animal, “ Matt added, “Chiara’s betting on a panther. When we pointed it out to our guide, he kind of laughed and changed the subject. Which was strange but you guys have got to take a look at the cage.” Sure enough, the digital display had captured a pixelated yet unmistakable image of an unlabeled glass vial with a syringe. The next image was a much clearer shot of a large, reinforced steel cage. It was immediately obvious that this cage had been badly roughed up: several of the bars were bent in random areas, and a series of indents lined the horizontal beams. Eve shifted in her seat. “Are those…bite marks?” “Seems to be,” Chiara replied, “must have been one distressed panther.” Not wanting to make a fool of myself, I remained quiet, but when Matt next spoke, it was the only question on all of our minds. “...is a panther really strong enough to do that?” he asked, to no one in particular. The four of us sat through dinner in an uncomfortable silence.
“I can’t sleep, Mina.” Eve’s shaky voice woke me from my slumber. I could feel her trembling beside me. “There’s voices coming from the Big Lodge, they’ve all been yelling. I’m scared.” “Shit, what time is it?” I blindly patted around. No sooner had my hand landed on my phone, a low rumble, followed by a deafening FWOOM, much like the blast of a cannon, resonated from the direction of the Big Lodge. The wooden walls of the cabin rocked violently. In my mind, I could imagine the trees outside cleaving in two. For a split second, all sounds of the forest ceased, before picking up with a redoubled frenzy. Eve whimpered, digging her nails into my arm, “what was that? Oh my god, what was that?” 3:22 a.m. The glow of my phone screen illuminated her face with a faint purple light. She was crying. “Hey, hey. It’s alright,” I cooed, taking her head in my arms. “It’s okay. I’m gonna go over there and take a look, okay? Just stay here, and don’t open the door for anyone until I get back.” Eve pressed her face into my chest. “I just want to make sure we’re safe. It’ll only take a few minutes, and I’ll leave the lights on so you don’t have to wait in the dark, alright? …aw, Eve, don’t cry.”
I held her for a bit longer before prying myself from the warmth of the bed and slipping out the door. Whatever happened, it had not gone unnoticed by the other guests. Far off in the distance, I could see lights from some of the other cabins turning on and another guest groggily making their way towards the Big Lodge.
The inside of the building had seen a flurry of activity. In the aftermath, the stately communal dinner table which previously stood in the center of the dining area, had been haphazardly pushed into a wall and was now lying on its side. Shattered shards of porcelain and silver cutlery had scattered everywhere. The air felt impossibly dense, and an acrid metallic smell had permeated the room. Muffled voices came wafting through the closed kitchen door. The loudest one came from Albert; I could recognize his distinct rasp. It sounded like he was berating the rest of the group. By then, some of the other guests had also arrived to check out the source of the commotion. We stood there in our tshirts and boxers and nightgowns, unsure of where to stand or what to say to each other, waiting. It was as if some unspoken rule had passed between us: no one should go knock on the kitchen door. And so we waited. A few minutes went by, and Amelia alone came out of the kitchen, wringing her hands. Despite it being well past three in the morning, her hair and makeup were pristine, and she donned a crisp white chef’s coat. She took a second to survey the scene and sighed.
“I’m truly sorry. Please, accept our sincerest apologies for the disruption. Some unexpected circumstances arose, but rest assured, we have the situation fully under control. We don’t wish to trouble you further and it would bring me great relief if you could return to bed and find some sleep-” “I call bullshit,” muttered the guy next to me. Then, louder so Amelia could hear ,“can’t you tell us what exactly happened?” “Yeah,” another guy from the back chimed in, “it sounded like a rocket launcher had gone off in here, and I’m not going to ignore that and go back to sleep.” We nodded in agreement. Amelia’s lips pursed, contemplating her next move. “One moment,” she said, excusing herself before briskly walking back into the kitchen. More muffled voices. Arguing. Amelia came back out, thin frown lines creasing across her forehead. “Very well, then.”
A panther. That’s what Amelia had told us, at least. Two of the chefs had been up, preparing pastries for the next day, when one of them noticed a figure slinking about in the darkened common area through the open kitchen door. Believing it to be a guest in search of a late night snack, the chef had gone out to offer them some food. When it dawned on him what the creature was, he had run into the table in a panic. The other chef, made aware of the dire situation at hand, had fired a signal flare in an attempt to scare off the animal. It had worked, though the sound had woken up the rest of the guides, who slept upstairs, and, more importantly to Amelia, the guests, who she didn’t want to freak out. Eve had been inconsolable after I returned with the news. “Signal flares don’t sound like that,” she’d repeated, over and over, “...do you think this has something to do with what they saw earlier at the pond?” “Well,” I’d replied, “when we see them tomor- today, Chiara will be happy to know that her panther theory was correct.” “No, I mean something else,” her voice trailed off, “...I, I want to go home.” I stroked her hair. “Eve, you know we can’t do that right now. And besides, we only have one more day here anyways. We both worked so hard for this, don’t you think we deserve to enjoy this last day?”
Chira and Matt didn’t show up for breakfast. Eve eyed their empty spots at the table warily. Her pancakes, untouched, were beginning to congeal into a syrupy mess, but her gaze remained transfixed. I wasn’t particularly perturbed; they must have also been startled awake last night, and likely skipped breakfast in favor of sleeping in to catch up on some much-needed rest. Knowing that this would continue to bother Eve for some time, though, I excused myself to look for their tour guide, in hopes that he could offer some reassurance. “Ah, those two,” Javier coughed, waving at another guide passing by behind me, “they left a few hours after dinner last night. I believe one of them had an unpleasant stomach ache. Gave them some Tylenol but Amelia insisted that we take them to the nearest hospital just in case they needed antibiotics for something more serious. It’s a few hours from here by boat, so they should be back any minute now.” He suddenly straightened up. “You and your girlfriend don’t happen to have their contact information by any chance, do you?” “No, unfortunately, we don’t.” Javier slumped back into his seat.
“...so yeah. Hopefully they’ll be back soon,” I relayed to Eve. She managed a wan, tight-lipped smile, but said nothing. I watched as a fly landed onto the amber puddle of syrup on her plate, but she did not bother to shoo it away. She studied the insect, iridescent blue with a traffic cone orange head, lost in thought.
Albert, Victor, and another couple greeted us at the dock after breakfast. It had taken much cajoling and a dumb joke or two, told at my expense, before Eve had finally allowed herself to cheer up, agreeing to end our trip on a high note. “Evelyn, Minerva. On the off chance that you haven’t gotten to acquaint yourselves earlier, I’d like to introduce you to Bryce and June. Bryce, June; this is Evelyn and Minerva.” “Please, call me Eve.” We exchanged pleasantries. “Due to the events of last night, Amelia has asked for us to travel in larger numbers for safety. It is unheard of for a panther to attack a group of this size, but if such a brave panther were to exist, there’s absolutely nothing in this forest that Victor and I, or any of us guides, for that matter, cannot deal with.” Albert winked.
The rest of the day went by quickly and pleasantly. Albert had navigated the boat out to a flooded clearing, and we lazily drift past the submerged treetops, surreptitiously poking their heads out of the water like endless fields of bean sprouts. Blue morpho butterflies, bigger than my hand, fluttered past us in undulating patterns. Peals of nectar-sweet birdsong echoed from a distance. Eve closed her eyes, letting the fragrant breeze billow through her hair, incandescent locks of copper which had soaked up the warmth of the sun, creating a sort of halo of light around her. I wish we could have remained there in that perfect moment, a snapshot, preserved forever.
“Tonight, we’re going on a special nighttime cruise.” The sun had begun to dip over the treeline, and the orchestra of frogs and insects had started warming up for their nightly performance. “This is a favorite amongst our guests,” Albert explained, switching on a bright flashlight from somewhere at the back of the boat. “We will look for nocturnal animals: caimans, boas, and birds.” “Birds?” “Yes, such as the black-crowned night heron. They have crystals in their eyes, tapetum lucidum, that reflect light and allow for them to see in the dark. Most nocturnal hunters do. That is how we will look for them: you will see the crystals appearing along the banks of the river, so pay close attention.”
As the ray of flashlight danced back and forth along the river’s edge, several pairs of luminescent eyes blinked back at us. Bryce and June oohed and aahed from the bench behind us. It was just like in the movies. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I must have watched the movie upwards of twenty times, to the exasperation of my poor parents, and a scene that never failed to terrify me was the one in which Snow White gets chased down by the huntsman in the haunted forest. Gnarled branches grab at her arms and legs while the cruel, piercing bright eyes of owls and bats glare at her from behind every crack and crevice. Caught up in my memories and enchanted by a world that, up until a few days ago, was simply images on a screen to me, I did not initially notice that the forest had gone silent.
Eve was pointing to the back of the boat, where Albert and Victor stood. She was shaking so hard that the boat swayed gently with her, creating ripples in the inky black water. Then, a word whispered so falteringly that I thought I’d misheard it: crystals. Bryce, possibly believing that he was being accused of something, cleared his throat indignantly, “what the-” I spun around, just in time to see Victor, only the mere silhouette of a man now, two glowing white dots where his face had once been, sinking his teeth into Byrce’s head. “That’s right,” Victor mumbled through a mouthful of flesh, spitting out something that clattered against the floor of the boat, “crystals.”
I’m sorry. What happened afterwards is something that my mind has tried to erase. I mostly remember the ringing in my ears. Whether it came from June, or Eve, or myself, I do not recall, but the entire forest opened its hideous mouth and screamed. Now that Victor had made the first move, Albert crouched down on his haunches, eyes flashing in anticipation, eager to join the hunt. Before I had a chance to react, Eve, an indecipherable expression on her face, stood up from where she sat, placing herself between me and Albert. Paralyzed with fear, I could only watch helplessly; I was a statue, a stupid statue cemented to the bench of the boat as he lunged towards us, the thing that I’d so foolishly entrusted with our lives. Eve… Eve, the observant one who had a bad feeling the entire time, who tried her best to warn us, and me, the idiot who had gotten us both killed. I’m such a fuck up. I’m such a fuck- Eve kicked me. Hard. A direct impact to my stomach, forcing the air out of my lungs. Searing waves of pain shot across my abdomen as my body recoiled, spasming. I was too much in shock, choking, unable to find my voice to ask why. For she had saved me. Albert’s jagged yellow nails had only managed to slice the thin web of skin between my fingers before I plunged backwards into the water. She gazed down at me, tenderly, lovingly. Just like she always did when she’d braid my hair and we’d conjure up grand, fantastical plans for our future together. She didn’t look away, not even as Albert laughed and used those nails to slit her throat.
A fisherman found me a few days later. I had been floating next to one of his nets, hysterically babbling about river dolphins. My skin was so severely macerated after days spent drifting in the water that some of it had sloughed off, leaving infected yellow sores all over my body. In broken Spanish, between hiccups, I’d managed to tell him that my girlfriend had been in the water with me, but she hadn’t made it out. “She kept telling me I had to leave, and that she’d miss me, but I didn’t want to leave her. It was so peaceful. Her wings were so beautiful. I begged to be with her for just a few more minutes.‘You really, really have to leave now,’ she was saying, and then her face turned into a dolphin, and she had all these rows of barbed wire teeth. She got mad and chased me to shore. She hates me I think, but we have to go find her.”
The doctors tell me that this is a result of hypoxia; my oxygen starved brain hallucinating as it shut down. I was lucky to have made such a miraculous recovery, they say. Had I remained in the water for any longer, I would have likely met my end. They attribute all of the other things that I’d seen: the “facility” doubling as an innocuous tourist attraction in the middle of the Amazon rainforest was, in their professional opinion, a response to acute trauma. The “manufactured superhuman zombies” that killed my girlfriend along with all of the other tourists were merely stories that I had subconsciously created as a means to process grief. Something like that. I don’t give a shit as to what they have to say. I know what I saw.
I quit my job. I stopped talking to my friends. Hell, I haven’t left my apartment in the five months since I’ve returned home. I no longer eat. I no longer sleep. The news reports describe it as a senselessly violent poacher attack: a band of poachers, witnessed engaging in criminal activity by a group of guests at a remote rainforest resort, indiscriminately slaughter said guests in an attempt to cover up their tracks. The rest of the guests, as well as the resort staff, have been taken hostage. I am the sole survivor, and my story is sold as one of resilience and triumph. I throw a vase at the television. I look up phrases like “Serenity Rainforest Villa”, “Amelia researcher Serenity Rainforest Villa”, “genetically modified creatures in the Amazon Rainforest” online. It’s an exercise in futility: Serenity Rainforest Villa has been scrubbed clean from the internet. For all anyone knows, it has never existed. At night, I stare for hours on end at myself in the mirror as my eyes shine white, reflecting the light from my monitor. On the screen is a picture of Eve and I, drunkenly laughing at the dollar pizza place down the block, not a care in the world.
Whatever they’ve been working on, whatever they turned me into, they probably didn’t expect me to survive. I know they’re still out there, and more than anything, I hope that I’ll be ready. I’ll be booking a flight back to the rainforest, and when I get to where I need to be, I’m torching down the facility and taking the rest of these fuckers with me.

Hi ladies,
I had a UTI 3 months ago. Took Macrobid for 7 days. Symptoms began to go away. Then I had to take a fluconazole and use Monistat 7 for a yeast injection.
A week or so after, urethra sensitivity and feeling of urgency came back. All of my urine tests are negative. I didn’t have strong yeast infection symptoms.
I took a urine MicroGenDx test and BACTERIAL LOAD is Low for Lactobacillus crispatus at 98%.
Juno test came back Lactobacillus crispatus 93.55% and Lactobacillus 5.87%. PH balance is 4.5.
I have white pasty discharge, experiencing vaginal irritation/burning and urethra sensitivity/feeling of urgency.
I went to the gynecologist. He took a vaginal swab. The test came back negative for everything, even candida albican.
Could I have Lactobacillosis Vaginosis or Cytolytic Vaginosis? Can it enter your urethra and bladder?
Should I try baking soda anyway? I read you need antibiotics for LV but I don’t understand what the difference is btw the two infections.
I don’t know what the else to do. If anyone has experienced this before, pls help! I’ve been so confused and frustrated over the past 3 months 🙏🏻

Dipper Goes to Taco Bell Dipper goes to Taco Bell It was a normal day in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Well, as normal as Gravity Falls gets, anyways. Dipper Pines was reading his book, and Mabel, his twin sister, was wondering what he was doing. "Dipper, are you gonna keep your nose buired in that strange book of yours all summer? You gotta go out, have an adventure!" Mabel exclamd. "Not now," Dipper said quietly. "I'm trying to decode this." He was looking at a cryptogram that said, "XSLFA QBE QXZL YBII". Dipper was offically stumped. He could not figure out what it meant. And it seemd very mysterious to him. "Grunkle Stan is gonna take us to the diner for lunch, Dipper!" Mabel exclames. Dipper, however, was not in the mood for the diner. He was publicy humiliated the last time he went, and he thougt the food wasn't very good anyway. "Mabel, I don't want to go to the diner," Dipper said solemmly. "I want to go somewhere else."
"But there is really nothing else in town, ulness you count the Taco Bell near the forest." Mabel replied. "Taco Bell?" Dipper's ears perked up. He had never eaten at Taco Bell before, and ever since last week, he had a craving for mexican food for some reason. "Why don't we go to Taco Bell today?" Dipper asked. "Taco Bell?" Grunkle Stan questioned. "Why d'you wanna go THERE? It smells like the bathroom when it gets clogged." "I had my heart set on pancakes, Mabel moaned." "Listen, you can go to Taco Bell if you want to, but don't come crying to me when you smell like expired onions." "Fine, I Will." Dipper said harshly. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Grunkle Stan said. But as he was exiting the Mystery Shack, the door hit him on the way out. "AH HA HA HA HA HA!" said Grunkle Stan. He was laughing.
So anyways, Mabel and Grunkle Stan went to the diner, while Dipper tried to find the Taco Bell. He had brought with him his book and a couple bucks. But finding the Taco Bell was harder than he had previously thought. He had been looking around town for what seemed like days. The Mysteru Book wasn't helping him either. Until he saw a flicker of a sign in the forest. He went into the forest. "Why would there be a Taco Bell in the forest?" Dipped asked himself. After hiking for about an hour, Dipper finally got to the Taco Bell. But it sure didn't look like any Taco Bell he'd ever seen. It was surrounded by a barrage of giant Oak trees, in an open field, completely different from the rugged terrain of the Oregon forest. The open field was covered with at least three layers of pine needles, which got the attention of Dipper. He stuck his hand into the pine needles.
"OW!" Dipper shouted. A pine needle poked him. It hurts. The resturant, Taco Bell, looked like a silo, sort of. Well, it was very cylindrical. The outside had rusty picnic tables, and looked like no one used them at all. Dipper walked up to the resturant's door. "Should I go in there?" Dipper asked himself. "I'm starting to have second thoughts. Why is there a small, desolate, Taco Bell in this forest, miles from the nearest road? But I guess it's my only option. Mabel and Grunkle Stan are probably don with lunch right now." And they were. Mabel wondered why Dipper hadn't come back yet, but Grunkle Stan didn't give a damn. So Dipper entered the resturant. But he was relieved to see that the interior was normal, except for its high celing. There were also no customers inside, but Dipper thought that was normal, considering how the franchise was so isolated. He went up to the counter. There was only one cashier working the registers. A very old, slightly deaf, bored out of his skull cashier. Dipper decided what he wanted to order, than approached the register. "Excuse me, I'll hav—" "WE ONLY GOT TACOS!" the cashier interrupted. "Ok, I guess I'll have a taco, then." Diper said. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" the cashier yelled. "I SAID I WANT A TACO." Dipper yelled back. "Ok, then." The cahier said, then went in the back for a few minutes. When he came out, he was carrying dippers taco. "That'll one dolla," the cashier said. Dipper gave him the money, and went to sit down at the least grimiest table.
He bit into the hot, spicy, juicy taco, filled with thick, pure, meat, mild, tantalizing black beans, and sour, fluffy, sour cream. He enjoyed the single bite of that perfectly cooked taco, and still tasted it in his mouth after he swallowed it. But as he was about to bite into it a second time, he felt a churning movement inside his body, something that he had felt often. "Uh oh." Dipper said, than rushed to find the lavatory. "Man, that really went through me," Dipper said to himself. For some reason, the bathrooms were hidden in a corner, far from the counter, and far from the table he was sitting at. When he walked in, he found that the bathrooms were surprisingly clean, for a fast food resturant, anyway. And Dipper found this suspisicious. All of the stalls were full, and no one was using the urinals. But, right on cue, someone walked out of one of the stalls. Dipper didn't pay much attention to who was walking out, but he was wearing all black, and had a plastic bag with him. Dipper just had to go. Unfortunaly, he didn't make it in time. He checked his pants and found the worst of all. "Diarreah." Dipper said. "Yeegh." He was about to leave the stal when he noticed a bulge in his pants. He touched the bulge, and once he touched it, he knew excatly what it was. It was an erection.
He found himself completely aroused after touching it, and started to do it some more. Eventually, he was ready to hardcore masturbate. He didn't know what was arousing him, but he knew he was aroused. He took off his blue shorts and his soiled underwear, revealing his medium-sized, but not small, penis. The tip was bright and red, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Dipper started to yank his Johnson harder and faster. The five-incher was getting pumped. Dipper's soiled hands started to feel bits of pre-cum on his dry fingers. Eventually, the medium-sized dick couldn't take it anymore, and burst in an explosion of cum. The cum got all over the walls and toilet, and Dipper felt proud. He had creamed himself for the first time, but he was upset that it was not over Wendy. "No," Dipper thought. "All this is not enough for me. I need to release all of this!" With his erection still active, Dipper began yanking his penis again. It was much quicker, and Dipper cummed quicker. It was a bigger release than last time, and it began to rain Dipper's seed. Dipper felt more proud than last time, his heart about to burst from all the droplets of cum falling down from the celing. He felt as happy as he felt on the day of the first snowfall of the year. He stuck out his tongue to tast the cum, shiny from the faulty flourescent lighting in the bathroom. He tasted it, and he thought it was the one of the best tastinf things in the world, better than the largest chocolate bar, better than the rarest pig, and better than the taco he was having earlier. By now, he couldn't stop. He couldn't leave now and miss out on this great masturbation adventure. He wanted to taste the cum. He scraped a handfull of it off of the stall and put it in his dirty, wet, mouth. He grabed another, and another, and another. He was getting more aroused by consuming the cum, and he released another load. "So that's where it's all coming from," Dipper said to himself, cum all over his face and teeth.
Dipper came up with a solution to get a more hardcore, adult, masturbation expierience. He was going to put it into action. He tilted his head down, sat down on the cum-covered ground, grabbed his hardened Johnson, and stuck it in his mouth. Once it was firmly in, Dipper began to suck on the very hard rod. He sucked it like the lollipop he got a the county fair a while back. It taste alot like it to. The legs were so expertly over his shoulder that he could've been a gymnast. The more he sucked on his hard dick, the more his aroused legs shook. Eventually, just when he was going to give out, he came in his mouth. It was the best thing he ever expierienced, and kept on performing fellatio on himself. As he was stimulating himself orally, he accidentally fell over to his side. He broke from his his penis and cummed on the floor. The floor was covered in so much of Dipper's cum that he started to make a snow angel in the cum, or, a cum angel. He was eating som in the process. But then he looked to his side, and immediately became so hard that the red tip was touching his short pubic hair. He saw what was causing it. He saw his underwear, covered in dark brown feces. He held up his underwear, which was covered in the cum-filled floor, and marveled at its erotic beauty. The feces were so beautifully ejaculated, so smooth in its sticky browness, so perfect they felt in Dipper's white hands. He wanted his shit. He held the brown underwear like a fish on a lure, and put his sticky white lips into the sticky brown feces. His tongue was rubbing the crap all over his tighty whites, making his mouth all a brownish-white mess. He was biting into the shit and sucked it in his mouth. It was more stimulating than ever before. He now knew that he didn't need Wendy, or Mabel, or any of the other girls in Gravity Falls. All he needed was a big pile of his shit.
He tok a scoop of the feces (He had a lot of diarrea) and began to spread it over his dick. Every time he spread the crap, he was getting more and more aroused. Once his dick was completely brown, he came again. It filled up all the spots in the stall that weren't covered in Dipper's cum. Once again, Dipper took big scoops of cum and consumed it in large gulps. Now Dipper had to put the brown sticky feces all over his penis again, and boy, did he do a good job. The brown stuff was all over his external genitals, and his testicles. He had cummed a few times here and there. Now, his beautiful, brown genitals, needed to be cleaned. But Dipper didn't have any cleaning supplies, so he had to suck the shit off. He brung his erection up to his mouth, and began to suck. This time he made it very clear to lick the feces off with his tongue, and as soon as the tongue touched his dick, he cummed. He was having the most fun he ever had in that bathroom stall and forgot who he was, where he lived, where he was, or what he was eating. All that was on his mind was his sweet cum. He just thought of a great idea. Dipper took a scoopful of diarreah and a scoopful of cum, and put it in the toilet. He flushed it, but before it want all the way down, he grabbed the wet pile of shit and cum, and stuck it in his mouth. Dipper was consuming all of the shit, cum, and toilet water, and it tasted great. He kept on doing it for god knows how long, and one of the times, he hit his head against the toilet rim. Dipper's brain must've been knocked out of place at that time, because this time, instead of putting the shit and cum in his food hole, he started to lather it on his penis again. He wanted more of his Johnson, but that would be a fatal mistake. Once it was covered again, he put it in his mouth and began sucking. But did it too hard. As he was sucking and cumming, he accidentaly bit on his dick. As soon as he tasted the blood, he broke out of coitus, and saw his lacerated penis. He saw a mix of blood and cum coming out of it, like aa lava, and his erectile muscle pointing out. Dipper grabbed it and grimaced in pain. He winced at it, and looked horrified. He snapped out of it all, and tried to figure out a solution to the castration. He put some more diarea and cum on it, but that didn't stop the bleeding. Dipper spit out the piece of dick that he bit off, and tried to reapply it, but it didn't work. No matter how many times he tried to reattach it, they all failed. He put more of his reproductive fluids on the castrarion, but they only made the penis swell up, like the Goodyear blimp. Dipper was licking the blood off the try to stop it, but the blood was coming faster than he could lick. He was now in ultimate pain, and felt nothing like this. He screamed, as loud as he could, and felt like no one could hear him. He was screaming louder and louder, saying, "HALP! I BIT MY DICK OFF!" He was going insane. He started to bang against the stall, screaming "HELP!" as loud as he could yell. After a full 5 minutes, with a large mix of blood, cum, and feces on the floor, he was banging his head against the stall. The banging was louder than the loudest thunderstorm, and yet no one came for help. Dipper was alone in the bathroom, alone in the stall, alone with his beloved dick, now to near death, and unfortunately, he was near death. After one final blow to the head, the now-screaming Dipper was now as silent as Christmas Eve. He felk to the floor, eyes turned skyward, and fell in a mix of his own blood, cum, and feces. At the Mystery Shack, Mable was feeling very worried about Dipper, so she went off and tried to find him. She went off into the forest first, (She knew where it was) and, suprinsignly, got there in less time than Dipper. As she entered the newly cleaned doors, she immediately noticed the once-bitten taco on one of the tables, and immediately knew it was Dipper's. Mabel rushed into the men's bathroom, (she liked to use the urinalls) and rushed into a random stalls. It was her brother's. Mabel looked at how messy the stall was, and how it was used to do the deed. Her pink sneakerswere sticky from stepping into the reddish-brown mess of fluids. She walked around the messy stall for a bit, but then saw the most horrid sight she could imagine. Dipper's corpse. Mabel was welled up in tears at the sight of it, and began to cry. As she was crying, she sat down in a pile of the blood, feces, and cum and looked at Dipper's lifeless face. It was beautiful, as his smooth facial features complimented his circle of cum around his lips. "Oh, Dipper," Mabel said through her tears, "Let me clean the white stuff off of your lips." Mabel brought Dipper's head up to hers, and she kissed him. After pulling out of the kiss, Mabel enjoyed it, and so she kissed him again. She didn't want to let go of Dipper, not now. Not when he had just died. He was her brother, after all! She held Dipper's naked corpse in her arms, and she felt a tingling feeling in herself, an secret dirty side. "No one would care if we just did it, right? He is dead, and know 1 would know in this restroom stall…" Mabel thought. She immediately came up with an answer. She pulled Dipper's head up to her head, and kissed him again, only it was a french kiss. Once Mabel was done, she put the body on the floor, then Mabel got down on the fluid-covered floor, too. Mabel started to go on a kiss-krazy frenzy with Dipper, that made it lok like Dipper was alive. Tongue went into Dipper's deceased mouth, scraping the feces and cum off of the roof of Dipper's mouth. Mabel was shaking even more now, that her tongue was touching Dipper's. She unzipped her jeans, slowly slid them off, and then threw them at the wall. They stuck there from the cum. Mabel revealed her nice, clean, exposed, virgin, vagina. She took Dipper's corpse, not noticing the eternally bleeding penis, and brung it closer to the cervix. She rubbed her clitoris for arousal perposes before she stuck it in, and once the dick was firmly in, she finally felt joy in her life. She loved the feeling of losing it to her dead brother's body, and started to get the oddest feeling. She lost it. She finally lost it. She squealed in happyness, and started to french kiss Dipper harder. Her tongue almost touched Dipper's uvula. She kept holding on to his lacerated dick in her vagina, and sloshing her tongue all around Dipper's mouth. She kept pulling in an out with Dipper's stick. Blood was getting on her urethra walls, not noticing one bit. She did not want to leave the body, not now. She would kill herself if it could mean they'd be in coitus forever. If only Dipper could kiss her back. After what seemd like hours, it wouldn't fit in. Mabel finally looked down at the now pretty messed up penis. Mabel couldn't look away at it. It was now swollen to the size of her head, a whole mix of rainbow colors, and still spewing lifeless cum. Mabel vomited on it, which only made it worse. It grew bigger and bigger. "Oh, Dipper," she said soflty. Then Mabel started to scream. She was horrorfied at the sight of it, and started to barf again. She tried to put a giant mix of blood, cum, vomit, and feces on the dick, but it didn't work. She tries to suck it all off, but found herself enjoying the sucking and the taste of Dipper's penis blood. She kept on sucking on it, tasting the blood, and touching and fondling Dipper's dead erectile muscle. She was esctatic. She was more happy than she ever had been. More happy than she was before. As she was squealing with delight, the stall door started to open a crack. Mabel took notice of this. "Huh?" she asked. The door started to open more (It wasn't locked). Mabel started to get nervous. She didn't want to go to jail for necrophilia, she was only a child, who bit off more than she could chew. She got too ahead of herself, after lusting after her twin brother for so long. If it was the police, she had no hope. She hoped it was just another Taco Bell employee, who would listen to her and help her out. The stall door finally burst open. Standing in front of it, was a man dressed in black. He had a Taco Bell logo sewn on the left of his fleece jacket. He was wearing squeaky shoes, that squeaked across the bathroom floor, He was wearing dark sunglasses. The mysterious man walked up to the two of them slowly. Mabel stood up on her feet, fear and blood on her face. The man stared at Mabel for a long time, until he finally said, "Are you supposed to be in this bathroom, young lady?" Mabel was shaking in horror, now. She turned to face Dipper's naked, violated, dead body, and turned to face the man again. "M-mist-ter, I-idin-din't inten-nd to do t-this to m-my br-bro-brother," Mabel said, shaking with tears in her eyes. The man brought himself closer to Mabel's face. "S-sir, your, your, your, in m-my p-p-per-ersonal spa-ace," Mabel tried to manage. The man was inspecting a red spot on Mabel's cheek. After several seconds, the man touched the spot, trailed his finger in it, and put the finger in his mouth. "Blood," the man whispered to himself. "W-what did y-you s-sa-say, S-sir?" Mabel asked him, not understanding what he was saying. "Little girl, do you know what that is on your cheek?" the man asked. Mabel repeated what the mysterious man did to her cheek, and said back to him, "I-It's bl-blood." "And with the blood being on your cheek, have you developed, shall we say, a desired taste for it?" the man asked back. Mabel did not notice the retractable chisel in his right hand. "Um, uh, y-y-y-y-ye-ye-yes? I didn't m-mean to, I j-jus—" "Ssssh," the man quieted her. "If you like the addicting taste of it, why didn't you say so?" and, without warning, the man cut her across the chest with the chisel. She screamed at the pain of it. Blood started to pour out of the diagonal cut fast, almost covering her stomach. "You can lick that up. Your blood probably tastes better than that kid's," the man said pointing to Dipper. Then the man gave another cut, across her face. She screamed again, louder this time. "Now you can get the blood close to your face. And just to make sure your silent," the man then slit her across the neck. She could not scream this time. The man went into her neck, and pulled out three vocal chords. The man streched the chords out, and he jumped rope with them, while slashing Mabel across the face several times. When her face was cut so many times that her nose fell off, the man decided it was time for the scalping. He took out a bigger knife, and slammed it right above Mabel's eyebrows. The man gripped the knife's handle, still in her face, and began to make a deep cut. The man put all his strength into it, because he decided to make the hardest part, first. He tried to do it right on the skin, but sadly, did not do the job he liked. Mabel's head was now topless, the top of her skull exposed and violently cut, so that you could see her brain inside the skull. Tge pieces of muscle and flesh were still attached to Mabel's hairy scalp, so the man cut them off. The scalp was now thin as skin, and still full of Mable's hair. He hung the scalped scalp up on the hoor on the door. It would be his prize, something he kept for himself. Now the man prepared for the rest of the body, What he wanted to do next was to make it rain. Not water as you may think. He wanted it to rain something else. He got down to Mabel's blood covered slashed chest, grabbed her not fully developed breasts, and began to cut off Mabel's nipples. Once he was done, the blood started to come out, like Old Faithful Geyser. He was amazed by the sight of the fountain of blood, and began to dance around in the stall, stepping in all the fluids that were on the floor. When the blood was starting to flow a little less slowly, the man moved on to the legs. The man hung Mabel's nipples next to the scalp (the nips were his prize too), and started to cut Mabel's legs. He started to cut faster than a race car driver on a smooth asphalt track. Teh cuts kept on appearing on her kneecaps until the capbone was exposed. By that time, her lower legs and her body were only attached by a thin string of cartilage. Then the guy moved on to her toes. With the knife as sharp as knife, he cut every one of her little toes off. Mabel body was losing so much blood that she started to flatten out. The place where it was mostly coming out of, was her toes. The toe blood was making a sea of red on the floor. The man, now with his Taco Bell fleece jacket splattered with red on it, now dug the knife into Mabel's left foot. He began to make another cut, similar to what he did to her scalp, and began to cut ths skin off of the foot. The cut was much better than what he did to the scalp. He did the same to the other foot, and then hung the skin up next to the scalp. Mabel's feet were now just a big mess of flesh, muscle, blood and nerves, Mabel (who was still alive)'s face was now completely exposed to all the cuts she was getting, he mouth hanging open like a gaping person. The blood was already covering her chest, and since the man actually had a soul, he didn't want to subject the little girl to the misery she was about to endure. So he took the long knife, and stabbed her in the middle of her chest, where her heart was. Blood poured out of it more than her cut off nipples did. Once most of the blood was done spewing, the man got down near Mabel's bloody vagina. He very carefully took his knife, got down near the cervix, and stuck the knife's blade up the hole. While in Mabel's cock cave, the man was rotating the knife, cutting up the walls of Mabel's egg chamber. The tip of it got finally inside it, and, very carefully, snipped every one of Mabel's fallopians. It was a hard job. He had to be very careful. He had done it many times before, but today wasn't his best day. He accidentally slit some of the sides of Mabel's vagina, cutting into the muscle surrounding it. The man was very embarrassed. "Shit, hopefully no one will notice that," he said to himself. He took the knife out of Mabel's hole, with ovaries and two Fallopian's on the blood-covered blade. The man got out a big plastic trash bag, and scraped the knife on it, making the contents on it go into the bag. But since the knife's handle was covered in more blood than it usually was, he accidentally let it slip, and it dug into Mabel's right shoulder. "Perfect," the man said ominously. The man got out a pair of vinyl gloves and put them on his hands. He gripped the knife tightly, wanting a deeper cut than he had before. After a while, after digging and digging and digging, the man's knife got throught to the other side. Once the man saw the job he did, he threw the arm in his trash bag. He felt great pride, and felt that he could easily achieve his goal now. So he went to the other side of Mabel's nearly skinned body and began to cut that arm off. It was easier to do than the other one, suprisingly, and once he was done with that, he threw that arm into the garbage bag. Mabel's body was now almost flat, due to all the blood loss. The man tasted some of it, and thought that he should get a jar four later. Now for the legs. The man did the same with her legs, and they felt like they were getting easier to cut off each time. The legs were off, and the man threw it in the bag. Mabel's body was flat now. Almost all the blood from her body was gone. Embracing Mabel's dismembered body, he hugged it, licked the remaining blood off, and put the body in the bag. The man, now, had just noticed Dipper on the floor, and figured, "He must've caused all this on the walls." "Another one couldn't hurt," the man said to himself, and started to cut off Dipper's appendages. He did it in the same order and same manner as Mabel's. It was done quickly, and put all of it in the bag as well. Now it was time to clean up. As you can imagine, the bathroom stall was a big mess of fluids. The man got out a big chisel, and started to chisel the cum off of the walls and into the bag. It took a long while, about 2 or 3 hours. Once it was done, he needed to clean the floor, so he went outside the stall, and got a mop that he had with him the whole time. He mopped the whole mess of things up off the floor and into the bag, until the floors and wall looked respectable, for a fast-food bathroom, anyway. The man got out some toilet cleaner and cleaned the toilet, because it was way more messier than the stall itself. After a few minutes, the toilet cleaning was over, and the stall was a clean as a new car. It smelled like it too. The man left the bathroom, and the stall waited, ready for it's next victim. The man got out of the bathroom, and went into the back kitchen of the Taco Bell. He got near a machine. It was an odd looking machine. It had a crank on the side, a funnel on the top, an something shaped like a taco on the side, near a conveyer belt. "Why do I have to do everything myself?" the man questioned. He hung up his blood-stained jacket and sunglasses, revealing his Taco Bell employee uniform. It was spotless. The man took the bag, and, one by one, started to put the body parts into the funnel. Once the bag was half-empty, he kept on putting more parts in, only this time, he turned the crank. Once the bag was empty, out popped out two tacos. They weren't really tacos, really. They were actually human body parts in the shape of tacos. They went down the conveyer belt, and the employee, using spray cans, began to spray paint the body parts. Once they got to the Taco Bell tissue paper at the end of the conveyer belt, they looked like genuine tacos. The man grabbed one of the 'tacos', wrapped it in tissue paper, and went to the front of the counter. He handed it to the old man cashier, then went back into the depths of the kitchen. "Here's your TACO, SIR!" the cashier said to the fat customer. "You're welcome," Soos said, handing the cashier the money.

Hi ladies,
I have yet another yeast infection.
Long story short… I had a mild UTI 3 months ago. I took Macrobid for 7 days and then of course got a yeast infection. Took a diflucan and I thought all was better, even did minostat 7.
Since then I’ve had UTI type symptoms without an infection, ie feelings of urgency and a sensitive urethra. I’ve had a few urine culture tests and they’re all negative. I also had a NGS test done and no bacteria was detected.
My urologist says I have another yeast infection so he prescribed me 3 days of Diflucan. I will see a new Gyno tomorrow for more options as well.
Has anyone have or had chronic yeast infections where it finally began to irritate your urethra and/or bladder? Maybe even not knowing it is yeast?
I also had a gut microbiome test done and not a lot of candida was found in my gut. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, drink alcohol or eat too many carbs.
My yeast infections are brought on by intercourse and my partner is clean, ie has tested for yeast and even took medication just in case.
Maybe my yeast infection has been mild, where I couldn’t really tell, and has never gone away?
I’m at my wits end. This urethra/bladder urgency and sensitivity has thrown me over the edge.
Thank you in advance
UPDATE:
I went to see a gynecologist. He took a vaginal swab and everything came back negative. I still have yeast infection symptoms and I’m wondering now if it’s CV. :/ I posted the below on a couple other subreddits because I’m also experiencing UTI symptoms as well. I hope this helps some of you who are experiencing the same and are looking for answers….
My MicroGenDx Level II test results and it states:
Low Bacterial load of Lactobacillus crispatus NGS 98%
I talked to the doctor at MicroGenDx. He said the good bacteria got into my urinary track and is irritating my urethra & bladder. My GP said I have IC and this doctor doesn’t believe I do.
He told me to drink 60oz of water per day, which is half my weight, as well as to do pelvic floor exercises. I’m hoping this will resolve quickly after I begin this regimen.
I just want to inform women this can happen. He said it mainly happens during intercourse. The bad bacteria as well as the good bacteria can get pushed into the urethra. The antibiotic(Macrobid) cleared my E.Coli infection 3 months ago, however the Lactobacillus is still there.
I purchased Kirkman Biolfilm Disruptor which I hope also helps.
Does anyone have any other tips? Or know of a pelvic floor therapy video online that they like?
Thank you

I suspect I may have IC. I am 42. I believe I have had this since my early 20s. As a little girl, going into chlorine pools left me crying at times. My urethra would just burn so bad. Then for years I would be fine. I had some very severe sexual trauma and assault occur in 1998. I was 14. Because of that assault, I was infected with Herpes Simplex 1, HPV and Chlamydia. The HPV and Chlamydia went untreated for much longer than they should have. I was in the foster system as well and establishing care was hard. In the end, the HPV turned into me needing them burned off with acid under anesthesia because I was too traumatized to go through the procedure when I saw the biopsy tool. I also had precancerous cervical cells along with this initial outbreak. I had one at the entrance of my urethra I was told as well after I woke up. Prior to being treated, peeing was excruciatingly painful for my urethra. I tried to go to the hospital for the pelvic pain for the Chlamydia and they gave me enemas, saying it was constipation. Only when I was moved into a new foster home and given a real medical exam did they discover and treat me. By that time I had gone through some months where I was in there shelter waiting for a home stuff I had so much pelvic pain I couldn't sit still or stand up. Like a fire. I am certain I had pelvic inflammatory disease from this. By the time I was treated I believe the damage was done. I never had another outbreak after those initial.
Until 2004. I met someone and started being sexually active for the first time, normally and consentingly. I had so many terrible bladder infections and irritation when I would have sex with this man at first. Many times when I went in I was told there was red blood in my urine but not any infections or bacteria. Pyridium helped at times. When I left him about 3/4 years later, everything stopped fire the most part. I met my husband, and in 2009 we got married. I went for years without symptoms, irritation, nothing. We did not have children. We are still married. Over the years at times I would get irritation in my urethra it felt like, and I would get uristat and dilute my urine a lot and it seemed to help. I had no gyno issues.
Last month I started getting these two bumps in my vulva . They did not look like herpes . My urethra started to burn . I made an appointment. I had a full pelvic. Everything was fine. They looked at the bump. They thought it was a pimple. It seemed to come too a head over the next three weeks but then this nerve type shooting pain started in my vulva contacted to the bump and in other areas of my vulva. But nothing was there. The urinary symptoms increased. Until I started peeing more often now, and I went to the hospital for the pain and they did a urine screen and now a "large amount of red blood". It's in my urine, not infection, not stones, my white blood cells were slightly elevated on my blood work but not my urine, and I have these faint pains or felt like.I started flushing my bladder like crazy I stack two gallons of water a day. The hospital did a CT scan for kidney stones because I have back pain as well (could be my gallbladder which needs to be taken out it has also come too a head in the last month and needs removal ASAP), find nothing. So they refer me to a urologist. This last Friday I saw a urologist. He was an older man in his 60s. I ran through everything i just said here's. He told her her ass too so a cystoscopy, asked me if I have any stream issues, I don't and said boo, and he said he wants to go in they're and dialate my urethra and do a POSSIBLE biopsy. Then he also said he wants to give me valtrex, or valscyclovir, because he thinks I might be having a herpes simplex 1 outbreak in my urethra??? I told him that if he it's going to do these procedures , I NEED to be out under sedation. I have insurance . He said that he will only do twilight the same as a colonoscopy. I am not comfortable with that. It was tenativelly scheduled for 12 days. Friday night I started the valtrex. Saturday was my second dose. By the end of Saturday, all the nerve and shooting pains that had been happening the last few weeks stopped pretty much completely. It also felt like the intensity of the burning and pain is decreased. Today is the fourth day of treatment. They gave me five days. My mother is a RN and she does not think I should have this procedure done by this urologist. I have never, besides those treatments as a young teens, and besides one tubal pregnancy due to scarring on 2005, I have never had any invasive surgical procedures. My mom is scared that they might Nick my bladder or leaves me incontinent which I don't have an issue with yet, it that some effect is going to happen they is just going to make it worse. My stepmom has had one and she told me that it was painful, she absolutely remembers it all, and I've read multiple woman experiences with this procedure. I am not going to have this done unless I can get put to sleep. The worst pain I have ever felt in my life has been a catheter the feeling of it passing inside is excruciating they tried to use them in my 20s a few times for a "clean catch" urine specimen when I would have to go to the hospital. So I really feel like given my history and my mental state (PTSD and anxiety disorder) putting me under for this should not be an issue!! Since the valtrex SEEMS to have helping so much I called the gyno clinic I go to. I don't even have a regular doctor because up until now, I've had no serious issue for so long 😭. Sooooo I went back to the clinic I had been seen at for the lumps a month ago when this ALLL started, about five hours ago. The lady who seen me was there and they took me back right away. I told her EVERYTHING I've said here. I told her in an afraid to stop taking the valtrex now because what if it gets worse until I have time to find the right doctor?? She prescribed me 90 days off it, and then told me she had had a cystoscopy, and that a good urologist will have offered me sedation and it shouldn't have been an issue. She told me she had a terrible urologist once so was an older man and sometimes they just don't understand they are used to treating men and incontinence and my issue is different. She said her advice is too get a second opinion from a urologist. I asked her if there is a stuck thing as CC a doctor whon specialized in urology AND obgyn?? She said there was and that actually she was going to refer me to one of those. So now in an waiting for a referral . It should be in there very soon. My mental state is deteriorating rapidly because I feel like SHIT a lot and this type of urethra pain is not like other pain :( . I have very strong painkillers on can use if I want, opiates, add they DO NOT help this type of pain!! Pyridium does it seems like. My mind is spiraling and it is hard to not read about things, because I'm not stupid I read about IC 25 years ago and feared i may have been developing it. I've read that antihistamines help, i did get benadryl and it DID seem to help the burning pain. But I am afraid of taking that for too many days in a row so I stopped after 3 days of it and then I went to the urologist and they gave me the valtrex.
Does anyone have suggestions as to things I should get tht has been known to help? I was planning on getting prelief, these desert aloe vera capsules I keep hearing about, and Zyrtec. In am willing to take ANY SUGGESTIONS OR ADVICE. I do think my mom might be a little paranoid and I think I probably should have a cystoscopy but again under anesthesia, and has anyone ever heard of herpes simplex 1 in the urethra like this urologist said? He also asked my mom very weird things. When he came in the room , better he said anything else, he asked her what she does for work. When she told him she is there nurse supervisor at the acute clinic he asked which one. Then he asked her where she lives. Then he asked me where I live, them asked what I do, and I told him not much right now because I feel so sick. He asked what I "want" to do, and THEN asked my mother if she had any other kids, when she said yes she has my brother, he went in and asked where my brother lives, and what he did for a living. It was very very weird. My mom told me she had never seen him face too face but she had dealt with him many times over the years in the phone because of orders for her patients (geriatric facility), and he is known to be an asshole. But he was not really an asshole, it was just very weird and I don't feel confident going forward with him. I'm sorry for how long this is. I don't expect anyone to even read it. I've been keeping this all inside now and besides c running around too doctors I have no one to tell and no feedback. I am terrified that at 42 this is going to be the new normal and I can't handle it. Eta- I do not really have bladder pain. The most I notice is that one I start rubbing a ton of water and toss urethra thing really hurts, it feels like my bladder is full a lot faster than it usually is but it feels better when I pee. It is a little tender it feels like sometimes because of all of this m

I've been more acquainted with this subreddit than I ever wanted to be over the last four months, and today I bit the bullet and actually joined because this entire experience has stayed right at the front of my brain for a long time now. (Y'all seem great btw, this is just a sad topic that I wish wasn't my reality.)
Kind of just trying to articulate myself, put my thoughts together, idk.
Four months ago, we lost my five year old baby without warning. He was totally fine the night before, vet reported no issues at his last annual. I woke up and my husband went to feed him, when he didn't run towards the food we knew something was up. My husband found him dead in his favorite box. There was no indication of what happened, he looked peaceful. I should have asked for a post-mortem but hindsight is 20/20. After my own research I can only assume it was a missed heart condition. I had him since he was just a few weeks old; I was at a music festival and someone had found him. They weren't able to take him in but they cared for him during the festival with plans to get him to a shelter at the conclusion of the event. Someone pointed out that there was a kitten and of course I wanted to go say hi. They let me hold him and he batted at my hair and did a big cuddle. They asked me if I wanted him and of course without thinking, I said "absolutely". He went home with me and I loved and doted on him for five beautiful years. He was attached to me, he was my baby boy, and everything was better with him around. Friends made fun of me for buying him a stroller but I was happy doting on him. He really was my everything before I met my husband, and he remained my everything when my husband and his/now our dog came into the picture and also became my everything. Losing him was losing a part of myself and I still grieve his loss deeply.
Not having a cat in our house was disturbing to me, and I figured that the best way to honor his passing would be to give another cat the chance to retire with us, a chance my baby boy never got. We got a beautiful senior lady who literally yelled at us nonstop when we entered the shelter. She jumped into our laps and basically demanded to be taken home, and we happily obliged as she had made our decision extremely easy. The shelter only had her for five days, so she was honestly very lucky for a senior girl. The downside to the shelter only having her for that long, however, was that they hadn't noticed an issue that we noticed as soon as we took her home. The first time she used the litter box, there were traces of blood and pained meows. We already had a vet appointment for the new cat, but we pushed it ahead to the next available slot. They thought it may be a bladder infection so they gave her antibiotics. It seemed to help at first, but the blood always came back and her appetite vanished. We got her on appetite stimulants but she continued to not want to eat, so we saw a specialist who found a mass in her bladder and an inflamed stomach. Surgery would have been dangerous, but we could keep her comfortable and eating with meds to help her stomach. She seemed to instantly improve comfort-wise and was eating and not pain-meowing when she peed anymore. About 36 hours ago, there was an extremely sharp turn of events that happened in an instant- one minute she was cuddling me, the next she was throwing up white foam and breathing heavily. She ran off to hide, we brought her food and water and she would drink but not eat. She kept licking her lips. She was clearly in pain but it was late at night. At one point, she came out and did the loudest pain meows we had ever seen her do before a literal puddle of blood came out of her urethra area. (And this wasn't peeing- she stood up normally while she screamed). We knew in that instant that it was time. We tried to keep her comfortable through the night and slept by her hiding spot, but when she was still hiding and pained in the morning, we knew it was probably time. We called the vet as soon as they opened and had to put her down.
I'm just feeling all kinds of things. I'm a cat person through and through. The house feels haunted and quiet (she was very vocal in general, as a personality trait, even when she was feeling good). I still miss my first cat so goddamn much, and now I'm missing our senior girl, too. I had never had to put an animal down before so the process of signing her life away and watching them inject her was traumatizing for me, but I felt a strong need to be by her side for it.
I'm having a hard time with unfairly comparing the grief, too. When we found our boy, it was a sudden, unexpected punch to the heart. I screamed in a way I have never screamed in my life and just completely collapsed. I had five years of history with my best friend and baby boy, and I felt like I had failed him for missing something, wished I would have stayed awake longer so that I could have maybe helped him whenever he was going through whatever he went through, maybe save his life or at worst been able to be there for him when he died. I was asleep on the couch in the same room as him. With our girl, we knew how it was going to end. We might not have been expecting it two days ago, but we were expecting that she probably didn't have a whole lot longer left. We did everything we could for her and I know that in my heart, but it doesn't change the fact that she is gone and I am sad. I feel some guilt for not having the same reaction to losing her that I did to losing him, although don't get me wrong, I've still been crying on and off ever since the other night. We had her for three months. We had him for his whole life. But they both made such a huge impact on our family. She was my husband's little angel and she had a close bond with me, too.
I found it very easy to not compare when I first got her, and while she was alive. They were two very different cats; our boy was aloof to anyone other than me (or when I wasn't home, my husband), he was a diva and on the lazy side. She was spry for her age and condition, and very vocal, and would happily distribute affection wherever she could get it. Now that they're gone, I feel bad for mourning two cats at once, I would love to give the grief for her my undivided attention but I'm still missing my boy so much and despite very different circumstances, I'm brought back to a lot of the same feelings I had when I lost him. Part of me feels bad for getting another cat as soon as I did but I don't regret her even slightly; as soon as the shelter realized she was sick she probably would have been put down there and not gotten to live her golden hours out in a comfortable home with people who loved her. I do think we're going to hold off on trying to get another cat for awhile though as this whole thing has been traumatic for myself, my husband, and our dog, who grew up with our boy (they're the same age and my husband and I met when they were very young) and was just as excited as we were when we brought our girl home. But not having a cat in the home is just as hard as it was when we lost our boy.
Our home feels empty but haunted all at the same time, this new wound is so fresh and it took place right over the scarred tissue of losing our boy back in October. Idk what I'm even trying to get out of posting this, I'm just so fucking sad.

Apologies for the bluntness or anatomical talk. I'm a bit (a lot) distressed about the state of my lady parts. I'm not experiencing dryness (yet), in fact quite the opposite. But various anatomical features are kind of shrinking, making a retreat, certain things aren't as fun anymore because I'm struggling to, umm, find it - gone from a pea to a lentil. One labia has almost disappeared. Really? At 45 and only in peri?
Mostly I'm concerned about my pooching urethra and internal... squishiness. I don't want my vag and urethra to turn to mush. It feels less like pelvic floor and more like a lack of oestrogen is losing tissue structural integrity somehow 🤷 if that's even physically possible. Dunno if the wonky collagen problems from hypermobility syndrome /possible EDS is making the thinning more prominent. The last thing my tissues need is less collagen. I just didn't expect peri to have such a big affect in that location.
Does anyone know if vaginal oestrogen cream would help at all with that sort of stuff. I feel reticent about approaching my GP just yet because I don't have the usual "where did all my moisture go?" My nether regions seem to be morphing into playdough. If topical oestrogen could help, I'd rather intervene sooner rather than later, but I'm not sure what helps with this issue - if in fact anything does.
Everything I read about topical oestrogen is about dryness and pain.
I'm finding it quite distressing 😕😢. And worried it's going to lead to problems further down the line. Honestly it makes me want to cry at times, but I know that sounds silly. It's a bit like grief that I'm losing part of myself.
Does anyone else know what I mean?

Just needed to post about my boy and tell his story. Writing and drawing is the only thing that is keeping me from going insane right now. I apologize for the length.
A lot of people keep mentioning about the afterlife and how we’ll see them again. I’m grappling with this currently and deep down really wish it were true because I can’t cope with the idea of a finite existence where we just disappear as if our lives didn’t mean anything. People say they get signs all the time. I haven’t been so lucky save for a flash of Target, a perfectly painted living portrait as a young dog, that lasted 1/3rd of a second in my brain two days after he had passed. I haven’t had a definitive sign from my boy that satisfies my incredulity. Or maybe it’s my incredulity that is blocking me from getting signs. I don’t know. Regardless, I still call him in the middle of the night, hoping, but knowing full well he won’t answer.
Target, pupperoo, pup-up blocker, my turkey boy, Target-roo the kangaroo because of the way he would prance and hop when we got home. I had a lot of nicknames for him, but the one I loved the most was puppeh. He is forever my little puppeh.
About Target, Dad named him after the store mascot with the red target on his left eye, although Target was all white, but with a patch of brown on the same eye. He had the countenance of a puppy because he retained a small head and a cute little snout through his life. Even at age 16 it was hard to tell how old he really was. He had the stockiness of a lion with thick droopy neck skin. A bit disproportionate to his head size and almost cartoony, yet it all fit well within his medium-sized 30lb frame. He also had a pareidolia pattern of a puppy on his silky right ear that we loved so much. Someone once told me he must’ve been part lab or part Jack Russell. I don’t know if that’s true, but I’ve never seen a dog like him and always wondered about his lineage. He was definitely a looker and I couldn’t walk 5 feet without him turning heads.
He was born Turkey day 2007. We got him at around 6 months when I first got sick. His previous humans, a lady who wasn’t dog friendly, kept him locked in the laundry closet and was constantly reminding her husband that if he didn’t get rid of him, she would dump him in the trash bin. In contrast, her husband loved him and hated to see him in that environment. Husband used to work in the same assembly floor as dad and dad thought it would cheer me up to get a best friend to hopefully get me up and walking again after my surgery. And he did. He got me walking, alright. My parents just never knew how Target would save me in more ways than one.
I didn’t particularly like his name. Dad thought it was funny and it stuck because of Target’s personality. One afternoon I realized his name was meant to be when our front door was being repaired wide open and Target took a one in a million shot of running out of the house, chasing a yellow-winged butterfly across a busy boulevard near our rental. I was close on his heel, but he was faster. He was skimmed by a beetle car going 40mph. He survived completely unscathed, miraculously. The vet had a stroke laughing when we told him his name. Never again, I told myself, would I be so careless. I thought I had lost him forever. It was a terrible moment in time, but I didn’t appreciate the time that surrounded those moments for we were thriving, healthy and young.
Over time, dad would be diagnosed with an aggressive form of Parkinson’s and I would regress with my illness leaving me unemployed and disabled. And somehow, my buddy would slip through the cracks in a household torn by financial distress and depression. We never thought about abandoning our boy no matter how hard it got. He was fed, sheltered and loved, but I never recovered from the $14k in credit card debt from the first time Target was hospitalized last year. We bought him almost a year of life and I would do it again if I could. I just couldn’t charge the card anymore and vets and humane societies were apathetic to our distress.
I was never able to afford the $300 euthanasia+cremation package they were forcing on us and my boy suffered. I had to watch him convulse. I had to watch him bleed out of his urethra as his kidneys gave way. I had to watch him sigh his last breath as I played some cheery classic oldies I randomly found on YouTube in my haste and panic in trying to fill the empty void in the air with something else other than the dry heaves leaving my chest.
I’m both angry and relieved people are getting signs from their boys and girls. Angry because they want to kid themselves and everyone else around them that it isn’t the end we continue. And relieved because they were blessed enough with a sign and it isn’t the end. I’m stuck in that perceptual limbo of belief and incredulity and I so badly need to be shown what our blood and pain on this earth has purchased. That it meant something greater than ourselves and that it wasn’t all for moot. That we’ll be reunited again and that he still exists somewhere palpable because this plane is far too drab for me to keep fighting in it any longer. And above all else, I hope my boy is still chasing never-ending yellow-winged butterflies again somewhere in forever.
For now, I leave you with a regal portrait I painted of my handsome boy.