I just recently started talking to someone, we’ve been talking for a while and he recently asked me out (I said yes). Now he’s my boyfriend . Something I’ve been doing since I started talking to him was stalk his twitter 😅. Not to be weird but it’s cute to see him make posts about our dates and when we’re not together he tweets about how he misses me 🥰. He changed his profile banner to a pic of me, has tweets about us up, etc. The thing is sometimes he posts random songs. And today he posted a song called “Love in the dark” by Adele. The other thing is I’m a bad over thinker. I listened to the song, read the lyrics and began to get sad just with the things she says in the song and I associated them with myself. (If you don’t know the song take a listen) and that made me very sad and scared. I know it’s not good to be an over thinker but it’s hard to break the habit. I just wouldn’t want to upset him in any way, have him lose interest in me, etc. I know he could literally simple just like the song and thought to tweet it while listening to it.
I’d just like to hear others opinions on this . Which when I think about it also doesn’t seem like the best thing to do because why would others opinions matter when it’s my relationship. I just don’t know.

I've been in love with this woman(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her. Can't even tell this to anyone cuz our mutual friends think I'm over her, and don't know anything that happened between us. And my other friends just don't support me liking her so I just tell them I don't like her anymore.

I’m sorry I don’t want to give too many details for the sake of remaining anonymous.
I’m a 27f and I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing a first love romantically. My first serious relationship was 4 years long & Brandon (for the sake of this I’ll call him Brandon) put me through hell. I was 19 yrs old when I first met Brandon 21M. Brandon was absuive mentally, physically, & emotionally. Everything I experienced was manipulation & lies. Realizing that truly broke me even more than I already was after I had left Brandon & was on my recovery journey so to speak. Recently on Facebook I saw Brandon married & expecting his first child. I also saw Brandon is now a successful property manager. It kind of upset me knowing he’s living comfortably & happily after trying to beat me to death but whatever right?
After that relationship ended in 2019 for many reason I decided to stay single and I did my best to heal what I could with therapy. After visiting my family in 2022 bc I took on a job that required me to travel 75% of the time I went home for the holiday to see family. I met this guy Richard 27F on tinder I proceed to date for a short while. Turns out he was a drunk, physically, mentally, & emotionally abusive. After this I cut dating off completely for me as I felt it was no longer an option as that was the second time that happened to me.
Now it’s 2024 & I feel like I’ll never actually find anyone at this point in my life. Recently I’ve started being open to the idea of dating.
Because this is recent I am going to be vague and I apologize for having to be vague in regards to the information I’m giving. Someone I met back 10 years ago recently reached out to me. He apologized about past behaviors that weren’t a huge deal honestly but he took accountability for it so that was nice. He expressed interest in a serious relationship with me. Currently this is “LDR”. At first he messaged & called a lot. Now he doesn’t. Granted he did warn me that it would be like this most days but idk now it’s like I’ll hear from him once a day at the end of the day. He says he gets caught up talking but idk?? Like I get it but at the same time I don’t? He approached me saying he wanted to try something serious but I just feel like I’m possibly being bread crumbed???
Also stupid but I did go through his IG followers & likes & I truly wish I hadn’t bc I feel like this just confirmed my self esteem issues aren’t fully resolved. The women he follows & likes & that like his photos are just so beautiful. I don’t understand how exactly he is apparently attracted to me. These women are like beautiful Latin women with these perfect bodies and I’m literally the complete opposite.. I’m 195 pounds, stretch marks, no butt, black, curly hair, glasses.. like idk just the opposite.. I don’t say anything to him about this because although he says he likes me and I only have his attention I just feel it’s completely out of line to speak up about any of this but this is just bothering me and I really needed somewhere to say this.
As much as I want a relationship, as much as I do like him I just find myself about to turn completely cold toward him and I don’t feel this is the correct way to handle it but at the same time I just don’t know if I’m thinking rationally. I just not sure what I should do. Should I just express my concerns or just break things off before I end up hurting him or vice versa?? This is so stupid and childish I know but any sort of genuine advice would help.
Thank you for reading.

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him

Hi, so I talked to someone and it’s kinda over now but I want to see what y’all think. Sorry if it’s very long idk how to tell stories lol and for my English it’s not my first language🙁 Thank you. He’s a soldier and we started talking like a month ago he was sweet, complimented me a lot, talked to me even when he barely could or training (made an actual effort), even when he went to a place related to the military (I can’t say but dangerous), where they can’t have their phones, he took my phone number on a paper and said when they give them Nokias for a few minutes he will contact me, he actually called a few times and wasted most of his minutes calls on me, even before we met! also they didn’t give them Nokias in the end and called me from his commander phone, it was nice and romantic, I loved talking to him, he’s so sweet. And yeah before and after (in general) we talked a lot on the phone, and chatted everyday. Anyways, we met when he came back, actually it was kinda awkward in the beginning I was so nervous I felt like he was too even tho he said he’s not, I said to him I’m nervous too lol, he brought blanket, wine, chocolate and we kissed, the problem is he wanted to kiss a lott and even tried to touch me you know, so I said no it’s too early and he respected me but I asked beforehand, at the start, what’s he looking for and he said a relationship not hookups (like me), so I was wondering if he lied to me, he also lied about being my age even tho I found out he’s a year younger, he thought I would care, After the date he texted me “I enjoyed❤️” I answered me too. Also it’s important to mention that he’s very very apathetic from the start, but because he showed interest I didn’t care if it’s his personality. And then the day after he was more apathetic and barely talked, He went home from the military so then I was like ok I need to stop overthinking and let him be with his family & friends, I talked to him on the phone, and said that he barely show interest about my day, what I did.. And he didn’t even know what I talked about so I let it go and it just kept this way kinda, also delayed messages from him, still loved talking to him everyday still complimented me,and I felt he’s insecure too, the day before he was supposed to leave he said he goes to his friends in my city, so he wanted to see me it took me 2 seconds to answer so he said “never mind you don’t want no need”🤷🏽‍♀️ then he asked would I let him in my house I said not this time, I don’t feel comfortable yet, and I can’t today but you can come give me a hug and go loll cuz I wanted to see him, then we didn’t talk about it and he didn’t come, He came back to his base, that’s when he needed to comeback to the place I mentioned before, I didn’t even thought he will text me again I even thought he left and didn’t tell me bc he don’t care but then I see a text “what’s up? I leave tomorrow” we talk lil bit and then he called, I said comeback fast and he said for you, so I was happy it wasn’t over, thenn the day after, again I didn’t think he will text me fr but he texted me I was happyy, we talk and then he called me, I mentioned to him that we barely talk now and he said he knows he’s very busy, and that he will call me today before he goes in, he actually called and I said keep yourself safe I’m worried, after a week on Wednesday, he came back and called me to say he’s back and ok, (till Sunday, then he goes back there.. and for like month or 2) day after, I called to talk to him in the little time we have.. we talked, he’s not home yet but at the base, day after he texted me his WhatsApp is back, probably chatted like 10 messages that’s it, when he didn’t have WhatsApp he didn’t even tried to talk to me anywhere else and it’s sounds like I’m exaggerating but I really don’t care on the usual days but he have 4 days!! Then he leave! For a long time, So I didn’t get why he doesn’t make effort to talk to me, Anyways we talk here and there, day after.. nothing. they let them rest so I knew he’s not that busy anymore, and then I saw him online on Okcupid too, that’s when I knew he’s probably played me, it’s not like it’s cheating we’re not dating but if he was online he’s probably not thinking of me like I’m thinking of him, now it’s Sunday and he’s probably left. So yeah it’s over and I’m very sad but I’m trying to stay positive and think he’s just not the one.. I just don’t get what happened

I've been in love with this girl(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her.

I have been dating my [21/F] boyfriend [21/M] for 4 years (including 2 years of long distance) now, I know we are pretty young. We have a pretty solid relationship. The main issue is he’s a Christian and I am a Hindu, we respect each others religion very much, but we started talking about our future, like maybe 10 years down the lane, we both want kids, our problems started to arise when we had to chose a religion for them. I suggested we teach them both and wait till the kids are 18, and let them decide. But he wants the kids to be baptised when they are babies itself and is open to them being converted to Hinduism if they want to when they are older, which would actually mean they would be legally and in all sense Christians and I really want the kids to decide what to do. I know it’s really early for us to be discussing on this topic, but, we knew we would be ending up together, so we thought it would be better to get ahead on this topic, but it seems like a lot of disagreements are arising and Idk how to solve them. So please, can anyone provide me with any kind of advice ?? Thank you!
And I know the title is a bit absurd but this community doesn’t allow me to post without making it as a question and following all the rules!

Currently going through a “breakup” with a guy I was seeing for 9 months. He was upfront with me early on that he was not ready for a relationship due to mental heath reasons. I decided to give him time… I thought he was worth the wait, so we tried the whole casual thing. 8-9 months in we went away for a weekend on a romantic trip. The weekend went so well that I found I couldn't keep my feelings in anymore. I told him that I loved him, which he seemed to have taken well at the time.
Over the next few weeks we still talked every day but he said that he was too busy to catch up. One morning, I sent him my usual "good morning" snapchat and the response I got back... well it was a photo of him and another girl in her bed. Turns out that when I said I loved him he got “scared”, saying it got too real and he made a decision whilst freaking out to sleep with someone else. He had been seeing her for the few weeks after our weekend but now he has started to fall for her. All he really said to me after I found out was that he was sorry and he didn't know how to tell me.
I've been a wreck since. I can barely eat (I've lost 7kg), I can’t sleep properly and I can’t stop crying. The thing is I knew what I was getting into when we started up something casual but man this hurts so much. I wanted a future with him so badly, I feel like I’ve lost my person. Having no contact since has been the hardest part. The best part of my day was when I got to talk to him every morning. I feel so lost…

My boyfriend and I have been together for only a month, but we have both agreed we're quite serious (27/f and 30/m). We have both been through a lot and 'lost time' so we're looking to catch up on what we missed out on. So this relationship has been full speed ahead since day 1.

He has two kids and lives with his ex. I understand the first part but the latter gets under my skin. They've known each other for quite a long time and he is doing everything he can to make sure she's not 'out on the street'. Her entire family lives in another country so she doesn't really have many options.
I'm trying to be patient but I feel like the more serious this gets, the more the ex drives a wedge between us. He talks about her, pays all of her bills, etc. I did not want it to come to this, but should there be an ultimatum made? What do I do? I truly care about him, just not his ex...

So I(20F) have only been with 2 girls sexually and it was more in my early high school years. It was kind of just a one and done thing. I’ve never actually considered talking/dating a girl. So my cousin’s friend has been hanging out with us more and more and we have been flirting a lot. She is a lesbian and has never been with a man. I started sharing my location with her and everything. The only time I see her is when we’re around our friend group but we always end up being together the whole night. I cut off all the men I used to talk to because I kind of feel disgusted texting them because I like her so much. The first time we hung out outside of our friend group I was so nervous and could barely look her in the eye, I literally get butterflies and our conversations are always super personal. She’s very romantic and I’m more nonchalant. How can I show her that I actually really like her and want to move things forward?

I was a chef for years. Destroyed me physically and mentally.
We all talked about how mentally and physically destroyed we were. We argued who slept the least, who did the longest hours, who had the worst experience, the days when we were still wasted in work, the panic of a broken piece of equipment, the horror at finding the fridge had not been closed all night, the fights, the throwing, the lack of relationships, the holidays missed, the lack of money, the drinking to sleep, the drugs to wake up.... All just to then talk about wearing it as a badge of honour.
What a bunch of sad idiots we really are.
Our industry is known for being abusive. There are TV programmes designed to mimic the panic, the stress and the personal abuse that we dealt with on a daily basis.
It's not romantic, it's not honourable, it's not something to brag about.
It's pathetic.

Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

Hi reddit,
I'm a married M32 without kids. My sister is an unmarried F28 with 3 kids. I am the godfather of her oldest son 6. My sister is a stay at home mom that never really worked and who always seemed to find someone taking care of her. At first our parents, who had to help her out a lot because "she really didn't have it easy with all her health stuff" - she has allergies - and then her boyfriend (father of the 3 kids). Money with them is always tight since the guy doesn't earn a lot and my sister has a good habit of spending cash on cloths she really can't afford. Now, out of the blue, she asked me to have a serious talk with her. Long story short, she confronted me about not helping them out money wise since " you don't have any kids, and it takes a village to raise children. Also, you are the godfather of M6 and by agreeing to that you should feel at least some responsibility to take care of him". I was mildly shocked at that and told her that this is again her not owning up to her own life choices and wanting others to take care of whatever mess she got herself into. I gift generous presents to all 3 kids, I watch them sometimes for days just so their parents can have some time off and her comments hurt me deeply. Especially because she said that "Mom and dad agree with me and are a little disappointed to help me out financially". I refused all of it, got angry and told her to leave. Now she calls me childish, resentful and selfish for putting myself above the children of the family. In her opinion, its all because I am still jealous of her being the favorite child and getting along better with our parents.
Is that the case? Am I the bitter asshole that doesn't want to help, I am upset she always got away with things and still does? In all honesty, that is a point that still bugs me ... do I know let that out at her children with not helping?

One late evening, in California's San Fernando Valley, under improbable circumstances, one soul met another soul - pay close attention: ‘’soul’’ indeed, for they only saw each other's likeness. Their differences were clear. At least to us. One came from the heavens, while the other could only dream of such a thing. Who were they? Two people in love? A father and son? A boy and an alien? It did not seem to matter much to them. No, because this pair was unstoppable, so much so that not even each other's absence could separate them - because their love was not dependent on either of them; it was dependent on the both of them. Who were we? Oh. We were the witnesses. And of all the questions we had, one remained sealed within us; how can a boy find unconditional love with an alien being?
The beauty of unconditional love is that it makes you resilient - because as long as we know that the other person is okay, we can carry on. Even if it means having to say goodbye, and just as much; even if it means sacrificing ourselves; we will stand there with open arms and scream; ‘’I’m here!’’ like we’ve gone insane. Now, where is that force called the will to live? It’s nowhere to be found. It’s then easy to assume that unconditional love could be a danger. After all, ‘’unconditional’’ literally means; ‘’not subject to any conditions’’.
Will we refuse any change, pass up any criticism and turn down any thoughts conflicting with our own views when we love someone (or something) unconditionally? There are many examples where that seems to be the case. However, I would argue, these do not represent unconditional love, even though such examples are deemed most romantic amongst some. We’re talking, of course, about; ‘’Natural Born Killers’’, ‘’True Romance’’, or even ‘’Her’’. Movies starring couples who are under the impression that there’s nothing they can do that can’t be done, nothing they can sing that can’t be sung, nothing. . . Because what is a relationship, if it isn’t to approve each other of anything you do? Because what is romance, if it isn’t for the other to take full responsibility for your feelings, even at the slightest hint of discontent? Because what is love, if it isn't to feel happy at all times? When people call love ‘’selfish,’’ I think I understand what they mean.
This review continues in video format on my YouTube channel

I’m done. Just unbelievably done. What’s the point of fighting or trying? Just got a court decision in my favour, which is being appealed by my ex. Since the decision the kids have changed massively, it’s evident that poisoning has been going on. I’m done what’s the point? Counting the seconds of my socialising then switching kids phones off, blocking any discussion of issues, basically isolated from everything, and just making me an insignificant and worthless distraction to their life. It’s inhumane
Today my son said he doesn’t want so many calls with me and he would rather have clubs and activities overseeing me at weekends. Why the hell did I fight so hard for three years to be told he doesn’t want to talk to me or spend time with me?
My ex and her interfering boyfriend have won. I’m done. What’s the point? Just broken and hurt. I simply can’t take it anymore. It’s over.

Sunday, 19th May, 8:10PM
It’s a painful feeling to feel unloved by those you love. To realise that the depth of that feeling is not returned. It makes me want to hide myself away in solitude and stay there.
I’m not cool or outgoing like some people. I’m awkward and I panic in loud, crowded spaces. Sometimes I wonder if I have anything to offer a friendship at all, I can’t say I’m surprised when my friends stop talking to me and drift away.
And I get jealous. Oh boy, I get jealous. When my best friend has a new best friend, and they spend all their time together and I’m no longer a part of it. It makes my chest hurt.
Boys? Men? I’m much more confident. But why do I have to depend on that?
Friendship scares me to death. I could always leave relationships first, find someone who wanted me. Friends aren’t so simple. So safe.
And even romantic love in any meaningful sense is not safe either.
People change. You commit and then something comes out that you didn’t see before - looks fade, of course, but a change in personality is far more concerning. And how do you even approach that? Is love what overcomes that? Because the person you love will change. Probably a lot. And not always in good ways, parts of their personality will mature and harden over time, become more set in stone. Maybe other parts of them will mellow out.
To be vulnerable is to be open to being hurt. And from the bottom of my avoidant heart I cannot come to terms with that yet.
I’m tired.
Scar

Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

I can't always meet him cause I have really strict and old parents . They don't let me go out much and i have to make an excuse everytime I go to meet my boyfriend. I have never been to a club either and I feel like I'm living under a rock when he mentions how many girls his friends brought and actually , yes , my boyfriend has cheated on me once already , not physically but well he was talking to another girl which I found out about 4 months later 💀 . I want to break up with him cause i think he needs someone who can just party with him every night . I'm a medical student and I can't do that , I mean i have my own way of having fun which he calls boring . I tried breaking up with him but he isn't budging .
Tldr : I think I'm too boring for my outgoing social boyfriend.

I (F, 29) was dating a guy (30). It started as a sexual connection because he wanted a distraction after breaking up with his ex. He was upfront about it. I am poly with a primary partner and was happy to go with the flow and enjoy the physical aspect. However, we went out often and clicked on so many aspects and could talk for hours. We both opened up about our mental health and vulnerabilities. Eventually started acting more and more like a couple. It was making me anxious because I wasn't sure how much space I could take and feared becoming an emotional dumping ground. He's depressed and struggling a lot. When I called out the fact that his behaviour was changing toward romantic, he asked to keep hanging out as friends until he was sure of what he wanted.
I decided to give it a shot but during the following date I panicked because I felt we were being cold and awkward, like we were making small talk. I had a panic attack. He suggested we should take a break but I kept crying and saying I couldn't get him out of my head and felt rejected. How could he act like my boyfriend the week prior and then shut it all off? He admitted he was being unfair and he should walk away and we shouldn't make plans to reach out to each other. He left.
What's your take on this situation? I couldn't find many references for situationships where the guy wants to stop having sex. It's been a month since the BU. We still follow each other on IG and he views all of my stories but no direct contact. I still really care for him and hope he gets better. Frankly, I'd be happy to reprise this as just FWB but I know it's out of my hands.

I think he is avoidant? I don't want to label but it seems pretty close to how he has been lately. He'll have periods of a week or two where he's extremely affectionate, clingy even, talking about his feelings and how much he misses and loves me, how excited he is to see me etc. Then out of nowhere he's aloof and barely reaches out, doesn't reciprocate affection, ignores my texts, doesn't tell me anything about his day or his life, and isn't really engaged when I talk about what's going on in my life. When this happens I just continue to send him a few texts like usual or send him a picture or two throughout the day but mostly I just force myself to leave him alone. It's both of our first relationship and we both have a lot to work through and long distance is hard so I'm pretty patient and I don't think he's doing it on purpose, but honestly it's been a few months of this and the weird push/pull is starting to make me freak out and second guess everything.
I found out today through a group chat with our IRL friends that he signed up to be a residential camp counselor from Jan-March 2025. We were supposed to move in together in my state at the end of January. We're pretty young and he's moving not me, so I expect the date to move around. But he didn't tell me? He didn't even tell me he was thinking about it. Or that he wanted to delay the move. That job would be a big change and would affect our relationship and it would mean we'd only be able to talk to each other on the weekends, it would suck but if we both want to stay committed then I have no concerns.
However him literally not mentioning this to me at all, coupled with him being super aloof and distant for the past week is making me freak out a little? My feelings are super hurt that I am not being kept in the loop at all. I dont feel like we are in it together right now. He is secure and confident in our relationship but he didnt even think to ask me how I felt about this or anything. I don't know what goes on in his head when he goes back and forth like this and frankly its making me feel really sad and alone and distant from him. I want to communicate this to him but im not sure how to do it without making him feel defensive.
Again I dont think its intentional. If he stonewalls me when I tell him how I feel, honestly I will consider breaking up, I'm an anxious person and I'm exhausted from doing constant shadow work and my heart can't handle constantly guessing if my boyfriend will even say he loves me back today. I respect his alone time 100% but this feels different. He loves me a lot and prior to dating we were best friends for 4 years. Im seeing a new side of him and I want to approach this stuff in a patient and non accusatory matter, really I just want to understand why he didn't let me in on these things and maybe why he's being distant. Most of the time if I had a concern he'd be pretty aloof and a little dismissive. But when those walls come down and he begins talking about his feelings, that's when we start making some progress and understanding. Any advice on how to approach this or what I can do on my side would really be appreciated.

October last year I matched with a guy on a dating app. I’ve never really had a march quite like it, an instant connection, amazing conversation, so much in common, nice physical spark. I was excited . On dates he would hold my hand and talk about how he feels we get along so well
But he kept me at a distance, never flirted over text, messaged in a really formal way, took several days to reply. Confusing given that we connected so well on dates . He had a few problems in the bedroom where he said he was ‘thinking too much’ but I was patient. He said he felt comfortable with me. But whenever I stayed over, he always seemed to want me to leave asap in the morning, never wanted to hang around for long. He planned dates very last minute. He spaced dates apart once every 3 weeks. I got really anxious but I didn’t tell him this. I was always communicative, put effort in, and I know I put my best self forward
Then he lost his job, had visa issues (he’s from abroad) and eventually said he didn’t feel romantic and that he wanted to be friends. He said it was a him thing and nothing on me. He also said he sees himself moving back home other side of the world next year
He remains friends but still acts a bit strange. Sometimes he texts me all of the time, sending memes and recipes and other times he disappears for a while. Then he asked to see me and he took me to play golf, he was hugging me a lot , touching me subtly and telling me once again how he feels that me and him get along so well. He told me he might go back to his home country next year but he’s not sure
I went on holiday last week and during that time, he was liking every story post I put up of myself, sending me messages asking about my holiday. I then replied back to him and I said ‘how are you doing?’
He didn’t reply. It’s been a week. He continued to like my stories and posts but won’t reply back. This doesn’t make sense to me . He hasn’t even opened the message and I don’t understand and I’m worried once again what’s wrong with me
He’s moved a couple hours away for a new job and I couldn’t help but see if he has a new hinge profile. He has just gotten a dating app profile and seeing it has made me sad. His profile even says he is looking for a long term relationship 😞
I don’t get it . I’m 29 and never had a partner and me and him really clicked. Could it be he still likes me somewhat?
I’m upset tonight cause I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m an attractive woman, he used to tell me I was pretty and that he loved my company, but why would I never be good enough for a relationship. I still have feelings for him and I’m scared I’ll never lose them but also scared i won’t ever be liked by anyone
I’ve never had feelings for anyone like I did him. And I don’t get his behaviour or if it means anything
Like is it even normal to be attractive and get friendzoned.

Everything started platonic. I never thought I would be friends with her, but tides flow, and our personalities vibe, so there’s that. Every time magkasama kami, I didn’t even think of her romantically or any sort, just as a friend. We would talk about our crushes and advise each other on what to do and what not to do.
Everything seemed like we would just be friends until the end of dawn, but one day, something just clicked inside me. She just keeps popping into my head while I study, eat, or do everything I do, I just think of her. I then realized I fucking fell in love with her.
Of course, I tried to hide it, but nah. Each day went by, and she just grew on me. Then, one day I decided to confess to her… I got rejected. She told me it was because she didn’t see me like that and was just a very close friend to her.
After that, of course I never tried to bother her about that again and just continued being friends with her just like how it had been before. I tried to make peace with it. But I just can’t.
Again, she’s just in my head every time, which really bothers me cause I can’t study, and it’s almost finals season. Everything I do affects me just cause I can’t get her out of my head.
With that, is it right that I just tell her that I can’t keep being friends with cause I want to protect my peace? Or do I just suffer in silence and hope my feelings will go away?
Why did I have to fall in love with her fck