I feel profoundly lost. After dedicating five years to pursuing my RN degree, I was dismissed due to my grades in the final course. Despite completing two exit exams, I failed to pass one. I initially enrolled in an accelerated BSN program but found it too demanding and switched to an ASN program instead. Now, I am left without a degree despite extensive experience and countless sleepless nights. While studying, I worked various jobs, but now I am uncertain about what positions I might qualify for without a college degree. I feel trapped in a difficult situation with no clear path forward. No one ever talks about the people who didn't make it. I finished all my prerequisites and reached my last nursing class but didn't make it through. I feel depressed, annoyed, and dumb. I don't know how to feel anymore. I am unsure if I want to spend another two or three years of my life pursuing a different degree, especially since I have a family to take care of. I have been stuck in this nursing school mode for five years.

I trust her verry much! but sometimes she makes me question.
First of all you need to know some backstories, I'll try to keep this short.
1st Her past trauma So she had a toxic ex(18m not sure) she met him in 11th, He didn't treat her well and used to touch her inappropriately even when she said this makes her uncomfortable etc... But One day she was home alone and She told her that she is feeling bored and That guy suggested to watch movie together at her home! firtsly she didn't knew that He knew her address, She refused but after sometime that guy called her and Said he is standing out side her home! She didn't wanted but he instead and she end up letting him in. Than after some time that guy forced her and started tooking off her clothes and SA'd her She was scared and froze and couldn't able to do any thing to stop what happening and after some time when she came back to her senses She kicked him and that guy ran away! I don't know clearly about how her relationship was and when she brokeup or how long was this relationship with him, It's hard for her to recall things about that guy and I don't want to hurt her She never shared these things with anyone. It is really hard for her Whatever happened was traumatic and she is suffering from PTSD bcuz of that incident. And made her fear from physical touch even with her siblings or friends (As she said)
2nd About us. Let's say for now She lives in Kolkata and I live in Delhi So she came to Delhi to her Grandmother's home for some some exams in school! and we met there ( whole story is different and not necessary but we met in school through school exams) and We connected very quick It felt like we are made for each other our opinion preferences all are pretty much same, After 1 month of talking we are decided to commit each other and be in relationship on 2nd march!! and after some time we met and Kissed, Huged but no sexual stuffs, She said she feels safe with me and likes my physical touch and PTSD never triggers. And as of now she went back to her home Kolkata and we are in long distance.
3rd I tried helping her with trauma and that turned out bad. So once her Ex's guy friend tried to contact him and asked her if She is going to take offline test at her coaching or not, Her ex also studies their and gonna be there on that test day! She don't want to go there bcuz of him, And Her ex also contacted her but she blocked him immediately but those things made me feel bad for her and I wanted to help her, I suggested her for therapy but She got mad me for that, and after some research I tried help her my self but that also triggered her I tried several time but every time we get into argument. She told me She regrets sharing this to me and I always scratch those wounds! that hurted me very badly. I don't have any interest knowing her past or about her ex instead I want to help her with this requires some questioning and that's the problem! but from that day I promised her I'll never bring this topic ever again and let her heal by herself
4th My Problems So what bothers me is that when sometimes while she was telling me about her past some thing didn't makes sense and contradicting statements this feels like she don't want to tell me the truth and when I questioned her She told me to ask these from her sister angerly and when I asked her sister self stuff She told me that I don't trust her etc... but this makes me question what's the truth why she is not sharing, and most what bother me the most is that she misunderstands me that I have more interest in her past then our future. So bcuz of this I was hurt and decided to emotionally distant myself for a bit cuz this was bothering my studies and personal life and was unable to share my feelings to her and I told her this last week and again she got hurt and made more trust-issues between us
Those was some backstory now comes the current situation!
Her grandmothe's renter let's name him dogshit(not sure about age but he's below her age) for now, he lives in the same building So dogshit msged her on insta tomorrow that he's unable to move on! So my gf told me about this today that When she faced panic attack 3 times when she was at her grandmother's home, 1st time when her family found out about her ex 2nd when she was sharing about her past to me 3rd time when again cuz of family but this time she went to the Terrace and was crying there and that dogshit came and asked her what happened, but that time she hugged him and started crying more etc... I don't know all about what happened but she told me this And now that dogshit is msging her saying he is unable to move on etc... She sees him like a brother but idk what's in that guy's mind. She felt guilty what she did and unable to share about that to me about this. We are very transparent about every thing btw.
This thing hurted me again but I know that sometime you feel emotionally overwhelmed and do some stuffs that makes you regret. I want to let this go.
But how should I approach this situation? What should I do?

My crush and I met on the internet- specifically she is in Asia and I am in Europe.
It became evident that she had a crush on me after we exchanged social media accounts. It was on one of her posts... And I am quite sure she knew I saw that too.
After a few days I fell for her too.
It was around 1-2 weeks ago after I discovered my own feelings for her, but in reality, we never phoned each other. I am not fully sure of our goals and objectives are parallel- both of us woulr like study university in Europe: she would like to pursue a career in music, and I want to be a curatolibarian. If I could take double major, I would take piano, too.
Despite the similarities in our dream careers, there are some fundamental differences in how we view the world. She view love as a form of protest, whilst I view love as two people going against obstacles. She believe everyone is dependent on themselves, and there is no existence of God; I believe mankind, as social animals cannot live dependently by themselves, especially when a society becomes more developed and each person's role becomes more specified. Althouh I would not classify myself as a member of any religion, I still believe in the existence of supernatural forces, and think we should be reverence towards them.
Another contrast between us is our family's income. We shared what perfume/body mist we use in daily life, mine were perfumes from Zara/independent brands, whilst hers were such as Miss Dior and Chanel Coco. A clear juxtaposition in the wealth of our family. (Despite I would wear purfume from more extravagant brands during special occasions)
Currently, I am in my exam season, and I do not want to rashly confess. There is approximately still one month to go until I finish my exams, and her to finish her's too. Yet from personal experiences, crushes end quickly if you don't nurture it... Despite being placed in 'close friends' (on Instagram), she replys slower to my messages. Somehow... It is reasonable as there is a 7-8 hour difference in our time zones..?
As the older female (by 11 months), I feel like I should take the responsibility to confess. Her MBTI, after conducting a few research and consulting friends with the same MBTI, I conclude, confession should be up to me.
What should I do? Confess after exams?

Studying for engineering entrance exam (17M) Good at it but don't think want to do this or would last in this. I always was interested in Finance but don't know what to do now. Should I continue engineering study or switch. Please help.

Hello, so during purchasing, an error occurred. I am purchasing online for an exam sa U.S. pero yung examination will be held here in PH naman, then sa website, pag proceed ko sa payment nag error, so I clicked twice.
Then when I checked my email na billed yung CC ng Mom ko twice for the same exam. 😭
My mom tried to call the bank, na block yung card but the transaction still went in. Tried emailing the organization in the U.S trying to ask for a refund still processing pa rin yung case.
What should I do? Hindi po ba puwede I-cancel na lang nung bank yung pumasok na charge? Or Di nila tanggapin yung bill? What would happen if we don't just pay for it?
Sana ma-explain niyo po sa akin. Tried asking my Mom how it works ba talaga? Naiinis siya sakin. Ayaw niya ako kausapin. (Silent treatment) Gusto ko rin matutunan kung pano ba nag wowork ang system para sana alam ko kaso ayaw naman ako kausapin ni Mama. Sinisisi niya ako kasi bakit ko daw inulit yung pindot kung nag error pala. Natatangahan lang daw siya sakin.
Sana ma-guide niyo po ako. I'm still a student, I only want to learn from my mistake and if possible maayos ko po sana. Thank you in Advance.

So we have an exam tomorrow, my friend, S just sent me some important notes she got from another girl, A. I told her that A had already sent me those notes
Now S is hurt that when I got the notes from A, i didn't think of her and send it to her. Cuz in her case she immediately thought of me while I didn't.
Tbh I get her side but at the same time, i wasn't even thinking about her when A sent me those notes cuz I hadn't even started studying, and didn't even look at those notes, it was A who sent it to me of her own accord so
What do you guys think?

Hi, kids,
My younger son is applying for university this year, so I thought I came here to see what is happening.
I have read many heart-breaking posts in this thread written by kids who have been rejected by "good" schools with averages in mid or high 90s. Schools like UofT and UW, Ivey and Queens have rejected and turned so many young souls into walking mental cases.
Be brave and mature, just accept it. It is not your fault. With grade inflation, some kids got into these "good" "famous" schools, and you get rejected, just because you are attending a school that refuses to play the grade inflation game. Worse, there are private schools that, for want to students and income, give out these outlandish averages of high 90s or 100 to attract paying customers, many of them from China with rich parents. My older son is attending UofT engineering, and he said many of these kids from China attended private school and were able to secure places at UofT. But many of them paid the ultimate price of having to drop out because they are just not smart enough to compete with those who are smart and work hard enough to enter uoft on their genuine grades.
So, grade inflation has destroyed many young lives. What are you going to do? Well, just accept fate and move on. Perhaps you can study at less "famous" schools, work hard, and make the best of the situation, and become a productive and contributory member of society.
And make sure you ask your parents to write to their MPP to tell the Ford government to change the education system. The government should impose regulations on school boards to weed out bad schools, including private schools, that exchange good grades for cash, to level the playing field. If enough of you do that, the government will do something to address the situation. At the moment, no one is complaining, so bad actors go unpunished and bad students with high 90s get into their dream universities, only to drop out because they cannot keep up.
Perhaps we need to do what every country outside of North America is doing, requiring a university entrance exam, the result of which will determine what university and what program each graduating high schooler is able to enter. That for me is the only fair game to play, to address the grade inflation problem and weed out the bad actors.

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I'm sure lots of you are worried about the high grade boundaries because it seems like exams so far hasn't been THAT difficult but I just want to say that the grade boundaries cannot change drastically compared to previous years.
The entire point they changed the grade boundaries system from letter to number form is to prevent this problem. Getting a 9 isn't easy but people who have worked hard enough will get the grades they deserve. Trust me when I say there are so many people who don't try hard enough for gcses and people who study a lot for them, in the end it will all balance out and dropping from 9 to 8 cus of a small mistake is unlikely.
The reason why we felt that exams were easier this year is because we have more exam material, every year past papers are put out and exam technique just gets easier, like the aqa chemistry higher tier, that was basically just previous exam questions, but the exam boards will take that into account and there'll be exam questions like that bond question or the vol. of gas question that lots of people will get wrong.

Budget: ₱400
(negotiable)
via GCASH
To be shipped to San Mateo, Rizal (shouldered by me ofc)
Intro: So basically, our professor is requiring that we submit physical notes but I need to study for exams and can not convert all my notes to written form.
Job Details:
Your job would be this (I'll be communicating with you throughout each step of the way)

1. Later at 10pm You'll be given digital notes
2. I’ll be giving you artistic freedom as long you inform me of what you’ll be doing(We'll talk about this naman don't worry)
3. Write down the notes, making sure they are
   1. Clear and legible
   2. Well organized
   3. Clean, with no distraction.
   4. PAPER IS 8.5 x 13

I’ll also give the rubrics that was provided for us
The deadline: before 6am later tonight
The hiring process:
Send the following in my DM’s

1. Tell me your general location from where you’ll be shipping from and confirm you have 8.5 x 13 size paper
2. Send me a photo(s) of your past stylized notes or examples of your handwriting (if meron lang)
3. As an example, write the below text:
   “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”
   

You can also contact me via my telegram: Matthew_Chapter_7_Verse_7

I have my first exam in about 10 days and I've completely given up on studying
I'm not stupid, I usually get 70 out of 100 points or higher on tests and I know I will pass, but my mom always yells at me for being lazy and not trying hard enough because she wants me to go to the best university somewhere in the capital or something, while I have absolutely no dreams or any grandiose plans and i just basically don't care about it in the slightest
I just hate that all my worth depends on how smart I am, and the system works so that you're basically a failure if you don't get many points on stupid tests so you won't get your place at the uni
Today my mom has yelled at me yet again, and any motivation to study I still had has just disappeared completely. Basically all ten days I plan to do nothing and listen to my mom yelling at me, then later choose random uni to apply to and hopefully never see any of my parents' faces again
Wish me luck ig or don't

Hello! Like many others i too am having a dilemma on which uni offer to accept. In NTU, i got offered psychology with the NTU-USP (university scholars programme) scholarship while in NUS, i got offered a psych with management double major (with psych as my primary major under CHS) with the NUS merit scholarship. For context, i'm hoping to have a more vibrant uni life than jc so overseas exposure, student life and the culture of the schools r important to me too!!
For the NUS merit scholarship, my benefits include: - Paid tuition fees - S$6,000 annual living allowance - S$2,000 one-time computer allowance - Guaranteed Student Exchange Programme (SEP) placement with one of NUS overseas partner universities for one semester (no priority given so may not be one of my top choices i'm assuming??)
For the NTU-USP scholarship, my benefits include: - Paid tuition fees - S$6,500 annual living allowance - S$1,750 one-time computer allowance - Annual accommodation allowance of up to S$2,000 - Travel Grant of up to $5000 for an overseas study/attachment programme -Overseas benefits: - Heavily subsidized Travel Overseas Programme for Scholars (TOPS) in the freshman year (1 week overseas fieldwork and research trip) - NTU-USP Study Abroad Programme, or - Priority placement in overseas universities through NTU's international student semester exchange
☆
Some of my concerns right now are: - i'm not yet sure if i fully wanna commit to a career in psych even though its something i'm passionate abt (will have to do master's at least, if not phd) so the double major in NUS might give me more opportunities to pursue smth else if i decide that psych is not for me + NUS CHS gives me the flexibility to change my major within the first 2 years

• i intend to do my master's (if i pursue psych) overseas so the prestige and brand name of NUS would prob give me some leverage to get into overseas unis i'm assuming
  
• i've been seeing a lot of ppl complain abt the CHS common curriculum which takes up 1/3 of the curriculum in my degree :") NTU has a common curriculum too but its much less than that of NUS so i get to study more mods related to my major, also heard from some seniors that a few unis dont recognise the NUS psych bachelors degree bcs the no. of AUs we study doesnt meet the min. requirement (although i'm not sure how true this is)
  
• the NTU-USP modules (which replace some of the common curriculum's core + electives) r taught in seminar style and not graded on a bellcurve so it might be better for me to learn in that type of environment esp bcs of the seminar style teaching method... and the core curriculum both in NUS and NTU doesnt rly interest me anw so maybe a seminar style would make it easier to learn these mods?
  
• overseas experiences r q important to me and it feels like i'll have more overseas opportunities in NTU-USP compared to NUS even though NUS has the guaranteed SEP... i also heard that its q competitive to get into exchange programmes in NUS bcs i'll be competing with all of FASS so if anyone has any insight into this, please do share!
  
• i'll have to stay in hall if i go to NTU which i have to pay for (abt $4000-$5000 annually so after the accommodation allowance, abt $2000-$3000 out of my own pocket every year) while i can travel to NUS from home... also i just moved in to a new house last month and it's newly renovated and rly comfy so i kinda also wanna enjoy the comforts of my own house😭
  
• i prefer the S/U and bidding systems in NUS more! In NUS, we can S/U the mod after seeing our grades while in NTU, we have to S/U the mod before seeing our grades for the final exam (which holds the highest weightage i assume) + in NUS, we bid for mods by ranking them according to our preference while in NTU, its on a fcfs basis! for more details on these systems, https://www.reddit.com/SGExams/s/awq4ocGYUr (note: NUS bidding system has changed to ranking by preference - factors like seniority, primary major and popularity of the mods affects the likelihood of getting them!)
  
• any seniors from NTU psych or NUS CHS pls share more abt the culture there!! like is it v competitive? are ppl generally willing to share notes and resources? is there a mugger culture? and r the ppl there v academically focused? aka do i have to grind like jc again :") i dont wanna sell my soul to the education system pls💀
  

☆
I've heard from seniors and profs that the psych mods have a steep bellcurve too and that its generally a competitive course in either uni so i guess i'll have to grind either way😭 it feels like i might have a more vibrant student life in NTU(?) while the culture in NUS seems more academically-driven, but FASS/CHS seniors, feel free to correct me! Also how r the campuses for the FASS block in NUS and the SSS block in NTU HAHAH i didnt get a chance to see them up close! Just hoping anyone can share any insights abt the respective unis and programmes and shed some light into my dilemma ^{^}
if u've made it this far, thank u for taking the time to read this post!! i'll just list some of the pros and cons of each uni below for easier reference but its basically just a summary of everything i've said above :D
☆
NUS:
Pros✅️ - flexibility to change my 1st and 2nd major within the first 2 years - psychology + management double major - guaranteed semester exchange programme (SEP) - no need to stay in hall, can travel from the comfort of my new house - i prefer its S/U system and bidding system - brand name and prestige could give me more overseas opportunities to pursue my master's
Cons❌️ - CHS common curriculum takes up 1/3 of my degree, less time to study my majors - fewer overseas opportunities compared to NTU-USP, guaranteed exchange programme may not be one of my top choices bcs its more competitive - have to study CHS common curriculum (which i'm not super interested in compared to my major) in lecture-tutorial style, which takes more effort for me from past jc experience
NTU:
Pros✅️ - more overseas experiences and opportunities (TOPS, priority for exchange programmes, USP study abroad, electives with overseas fieldwork components, etc) - small class sizes for USP modules which facilitates better learning for me personally! + provides a sense of community too - fewer modules for the common curriculum so more time to focus on my major - the hall experience could add to my uni experience esp in terms of student life + i have 4 years guaranteed hall + $2000 annual accommodation allowance
Cons❌️ - i dont really like the S/U system and dont prefer its bidding system (but have learnt some ways to work around the bidding system from seniors) - have to stay in hall away from the comforts of my own home + have to pay for hall - little flexibility to change my major once i enter uni + no double major with business (career backup if i give up on psych) - less prestige compared to NUS(?) not as much of a brand name
Okay thats about it!! Pls share your advice and opinions guys i have 5 days left to make a decision and i'm starting to panic a little😭😭 anyway thank you for reading my post and for any pieces of advice/comments yall leave!!

Hi,
I (f23) am currently in the getting-to-know-you phase/situationship with someone who was my first crush/love (m22). I met him four years ago and developed a crush because he was always so kind and helpful. However, he was so immersed in his own world and focused on his studies that he never noticed me, even though we often spoke. I then changed my major and thought of him often but continued living my life. Four years later, he suddenly followed me on Instagram (he didn't have Instagram before); I was extremely surprised but also pleased. We then texted all night long, and for the next few days, we continued texting all day until 6 in the morning.
Everything was fine until we hit a topic... we didn't share the same religion; he was an atheist like his entire family. I'm the last person to force anyone to convert; it has to come from one's own conviction. But as foolish as I was, I tried to ignore it initially because he was the first person I really liked. I lied to my parents (with whom I have a very honest and good relationship) and compromised my own principles...and that's when the problems started... He wanted to meet every day although I told him that I did not want that because meeting secretly every day is very cumbersome and exhausting. But he would whine all the time and say that he would die etc. He never got angry, just really sad and kept repeating himself. Our whole acquaintance progressed really fast; he told me he loved me after just four days. If I accidentally fell asleep, he would text me a thousand times, saying he almost had a heart attack and was extremely worried. He also constantly wanted photos; he always wanted pictures. He even contacted a friend of mine asking her to send him photos of me. He also gave me extreme compliments every five minutes and always raved about my pictures, but sometimes it felt like he wasn't talking about me. Whenever I told him I felt bad, he would say he felt worse because I had feelings of guilt towards my parents and religion, but for him it was only about me. He also always said that he loved me more than I loved him although I had already done a lot against my morals for him, and once he even said that I only liked him because he is an engineer and had good grades in university.
After three weeks, I broke off contact because I saw that he was forcing himself to convert and that he had no real conviction, and I did not want him to be unhappy and later blame me. It was also all too much for me. I blocked him everywhere and then the horror began...(short background info: I have extreme test anxiety and get panic attacks, and he knew this) My body completely broke down... I got my period every two weeks and had severe eczema outbreaks. What's more, I was in the exam phase and suffer from extreme test anxiety with panic attacks. He knew this and even had my exam dates. He started contacting my friends, writing me emails, and even his friend came and talked to me the day before an exam (He knew nothing from the friend but the friend contacted random people until he got my number). It was extremely physically demanding and I even flunked a few exams. We had no contact for 4 months but he wrote me an email again saying he can't live without me and is currently really dealing with the topic of religion.
And now we come to my dilemma: He even started training in those four months because I once told him I like broad men, he changed his clothing style because I jokingly said he dresses like an old man (but I always told him I like him just the way he is), he has extensively studied religion (but it's still ongoing); he completely adjusts himself to me when I say I can't text for 2 months because I'm in the exam phase. He does everything I want but I am not happy. Whenever I text with him I get stomach aches and feel constricted. Although everything is much better now than before (except for one thing, he still constantly asks for photos and these discussions sometimes last over an hour). I feel really bad because he is really trying but I feel really bad with him and don't know what to do. I believe I will never find someone who loves and accepts me as I am like he does, and that also really scares me.
Important to note is we are both each others first relationship

I'm a 12th passed commerce student who scored 85% on the CBSE board exams, now I just wanted to know if I have the potential to crack the CAT exam on the first attempt with the top score to get into a top MBA college, well I do not have a good sitting capacity yet and I'm not good in both math and English. I'm not even a person who studies a lot. I want to know If I should go for the CAT exam or not

I'm 17 and have never been in a relationship and I know for a fact that I won't be ready for a relationship until about 25 years as I have a lot of emotional maturing and personal growth to do. I also have A-Level exams coming up and I need to study, however when I try to study, my mind keeps wandering to imaginary scenarios about relationships, mainly about how I screw them up. It was also probably fuelled by me reading stories on reddit about men screwing up good relationships and fearing that I'll do the same.
It's annoying me as I need to study for these exams and I know there's not point worrying about relationships for a good 8 years but I don't know how to stop these thoughts.
Any help would be appreciated.

I am 17F. I have been preparing for jee for 2 years. I got qualified for advanced with 87 percentile (I know it's not something to be proud of). I am pretty sure I don't have a chance to get into iit too. But I definitely have a chance with my state entrance exam next month.
So I was discussing this with my dad and mentioned that if I couldn't get into government engineering colleges I would have to look for another plan, Integrated Bed+Bsc and I was really frustrated. Dad comforted me and said it's ok i would get an educational loan and i still have hope to study what I like (we can't afford private colleges).
Then he proceeded to praise my cousin who went to Dubai as a teacher with an MA French degree and have 1LPA sallery. This was said by my aunt who is notorious for lying and boasting. Earlier he had stated during our family gossip session that my aunt is probably lying because my cousin was rumoured to have supplies.
Anyway, after praising my cousin he said engineer is not something as respectable position as a teacher. He said most married women have jobs as a hobby since a family's finance is taken up by the husband. So I should take a job which is less stressful and easier than a Software Engineer. He quoted, " The bride is a teacher, wow; the bride is an engineer, meh."
I haven't even turned 18 and he is already making plans to reduce dowry and make an attractive matrimony profile. Also, one of my other cousin who has 4 supplies and passed mechanical engineering with low marks have got a "not so nice" but "ok" job. While the cousin in Dubai is getting marriage proposals from rich guys.
I dreamt of giving my family a good life and supporting my younger sister's education. I want to study my favourite subject. But all my dad thinks is to pass time for me to turn 24 so he could marry me off and he doesn't want to be bothered by taking me to the jee advanced exam centre. For me my degree is my future but for him it's just a way of negotiating dowry because his daughter is well educated.
I know it's really long and nobody is gonna read it till here .But I just wanted to vent because I can't concentrate on studies because I am so angry at his mindset.
So any advice on how to suppress my anger and regain focus?

The incident of recent suicide in SGRR has shook me to my core. My sibling is also a medical student in Uttarakhand. I have seen my father struggle mentally and physically as a doctor.
I am aware that med students, residents and doctors rarely have time. So, on their behalf, I am going to bring together a group of people who can work towards reform. I have some decent connections who can guide me through the process.
This is the first time I have decided to initiate this conversation on a social platform. So, I have some open-ended questions.
I would like to know the ISSUES with the following and what would be your PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION to remedy the situation:

1. Exam pattern
2. Exam schedule
3. Exam centres
4. Pedagogy (teaching methods)
5. Work-life balance
6. Leave policy
7. Frequent change of rules
8. Bullying/Harassment/Humiliation by seniors/staff
9. Threats to fail the students for non-compliance
10. Forced malpractice to meet certain quotas of surgeries etc.
11. Any other issue

You can answer about any or all of the above-mentioned issues.
PLEASE MENTION your level of study in the comments (XI/XII/MBBS student/PG/MD/Resident/Doctor).
P.S. I will take this up formally on more transparent platforms in the near future. I'm starting from this subreddit since this is the only place I know with so many people from medical background.
On a soft note, I love you all for what you are doing. Please keep you chin up and head high ❤️ Give your all and if it doesn't work out, that's okay. It will hurt like a bitch but it will be okay. You are worth more alive than dead. My prayers to the family of the bright doctor we lost today. We need to do better as a society for the amazing doctors we are going to have.

Assalamualaikum hope u all r doing good. 21 (M) currently studying biotech 2nd semester is about to end soon, its been a year in the uni but i feel like i havent learned any skills that will help me in my field. It feels like i am wasting my time. dont have anyone to consult and dont know whether i should continue or not. so if anyone in similar fields could guide me that would be great. Thanks for your time.

Hi, I (20F) have been in a polyamorous relationship with a guy (21M) for 1 year. Polyamory is pretty nuanced but our agreement is that while we are in a committed relationship, we can still explore our sexualities since we are both bisexual. I can see girls, he can see guys.
This is quite unusual, I know and a lot of people judge the quality of my relationship immediately when I say I’m polyamorous but it works for us and we’ve been really happy and hope to get married after we graduate.
In the beginning of our relationship, I was seeing a girl, we’ll call her Kelly who identifies as a lesbian. I absolutely adored her and she got on really well with my boyfriend. The three of us would watch movies together and fall asleep in the same bed without feeling uncomfortable. There was one problem, she would occasionally ghost me for 2-4 weeks due to health reasons. She is chronically ill and struggles with mental health. I have also struggled with mental illness and had to leave university for one year because of how bad it got. Nevertheless, I am on treatment now and mostly better. Because I can relate to having mental health issues, I tried to be as supportive as possible but her ghosting me for weeks at a time hurt very much especially because she would not communicate that she intended on having alone time. I would understand if it had been a few days. When she returned each time, she would not apologise until one day I started sobbing because she made me feel really confused and unwanted. She only ever apologised after I revealed that her actions hurt me but if I didn’t, she thought this behaviour was completely normal. It wasn’t the ghosting that hurt the most, it was the lack of communication about when she needed space and, the inability to recognise that her actions hurt me on her own, without any kind of prompt from me.
I eventually ended things with her which was extremely painful and hard to do because I truly loved her and my boyfriend and I enjoyed her company even if it was just sitting and chatting for hours.
Fast forward: I start seeing a new girl, we’ll call her Mary. Mary is a wonderful girl, but I was still hurting a lot from my experience with Kelly and I made her aware from the start that I am still processing a lot of the pain from my experience with my ex and that I’m working on it but that unhealed part of me might cause distrust.
Months go by, Mary and I become a lot closer. Exams start approaching and we’re seeing each other a lot less. It’s difficult to see each other because she doesn’t feel comfortable around my boyfriend and wouldn’t want to come over while he was there so he would have to leave every time we made plans and I hated doing that to him.
I need to give some context before we dive deeper. Over these few months, I spent time with her friends almost everyday at least for an hour and made an effort to get to know each and every single one of them and be on good terms with them. One of her friends called me pretentious to my face solely because I used the word, “idiosyncratic” in a conversation. This caught me off guard and when it happened, all her friends laughed at me including Mary which really hurt me because I would never let that slide if one of my friends said something like that to her let alone laugh. Some of her friends made me uncomfortable and were kind of mean to me? But I sat with them frequently anyway because I cared about her and wanting to make that sacrifice to spend time with her. In contrast, I have few close friends but the person closest to me is my boyfriend, naturally. Mary made no effort to get to know him or even be nice to him and this hurt me because my boyfriend is genuinely a soft and sweet person and I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t attempt to get to know him seeing as I made so much of an effort with her friends.
I would initiate all our dates, pay for her and essentially give her princess treatment, listen to her and give her advice when she was depressed late at night even if I had a test the next day. I went to my 10am lecture venue 20 minutes early everyday just so I could pass her and chat to her for a bit. I wasn’t perfect but I did give her a lot of my effort and time.
A few times, I vented to her about Kelly and I apologised, saying I hate being that person to talk about their ex. She reassured me that it was okay and she was there for me which brought me so much comfort.
Things go steadily until we got closer to exams and we could barely see each other because her friends are kind of rowdy and rambunctious and it was too hard to study around them so close to exams. In addition, she never wanted to come over unless the boyfriend wasn’t there. We made plans multiple times but something came up each time. I started to miss her a lot and asked my boyfriend if I could have the apartment some time during the week to see her and he was more than happy to stay at res that night. I got her roses, unwrapped and cut them, got rid of all the thorns, spray painted one black because she likes black, rewrapped them, got her chocolates and spent 4 hours cleaning my house.
She texts me asking to move the time we were supposed to meet up from 6pm to 9pm and this initially upsets me because I get anxiety when plans are changed last minute but I said it was fine.
9pm comes, no text. 9:20, nothing. I begin to freak out. She eventually texts me saying she lost her phone in an Uber and is texting from her pc and can’t make it. The exact message was, “I lost my phone in an Uber, i can’t make it.”
I immediately started searching online for ways to track her phone. Tried helping her login to Uber on her laptop and place an enquiry for a lost item, then helped her track the phone using her google account and she found where it was. I googled a bunch of things about the safety of the area to make sure where she was going was safe and told her to take a friend. She gets her phone back and all is well. Then goes to sleep.
Now I don’t know if I’m being dramatic but what stood out to me was the lack of, “I’m sorry that I couldn’t make it, I know you really wanted to see me and probably made your boyfriend leave and put a lot of effort into this. It was a mistake but I am sorry for how it affected your day and feelings.”
This is what I would have said asap if it was me. Yes, she lost her phone by accident but that doesn’t mean that it had no consequences for anyone else. I’ve lost things by accident before and still recognised that I should have been more aware/ responsible and apologise. I am always the first to apologise in situations and sometimes profusely even if it’s not a big deal because I feel really bad when I inconvenience/ upset people.
I messaged her saying it really bothered me that she did not apologise and disregarded how that affected my day, plans and feelings. She messaged back saying she meant to apologise but she was tired and forgot and a bunch of excuses. This didn’t make it better for me. A simple, “You’re right, I did mean to say sorry but it slipped my mind and I should have said that immediately. I appreciate all the effort you made and I’m gonna make it up to you.”
I started to get more upset the more she made excuses and told her that it was resurfacing trauma from my ex because Kelly would only apologise after I said I was hurt and have a million reasons to justify it. I told her I was feeling triggered and I felt like I was reliving bad memories. She sent me a long paragraph saying it’s not okay for me to compare her all the time (I’ve never compared her to Kelly other than this time) and said me talking about how Kelly hurt me put pressure on her to not do the same things. I said I was so sorry for comparing her and I didn’t mean to make her feel bad, I was just expressing that I was feeling triggered and wanted her to stop explaining herself because it was making bad memories resurface. Regardless, I was wrong and I promised that it would never ever happen again and while I was not aware that talking about Kelly pressured her, I am now and want to discuss it more in person BUT I felt like this was the wrong time for her to bring up everything I had done wrong and could do better when she had literally just done something that hurt me and we were discussing that and the conversation just shifted. I said I felt that she was deflecting and that while her points are valid, I wish she had asked to speak in person, apologised and then said she wants to address another issue with me and bring all of those concerns up. I feel like if something has been bothering someone for months in a friendship OR relationship, they shouldn’t choose to finally bring it up in the middle of being called out.
She got defensive then I got defensive, I said I was sorry and never wanted to make her feel that way again and will give her space and she should message me when she is ready to talk. I asked if she still wanted the flowers, she said yes and I brought them to her on Friday.
No text from her after that, nothing. I text on Sunday asking her what’s wrong and she says and I quote, “I've thought about it and I don't think we should keep hanging out or whatever. The way you reacted to me and made me feel really horrible about myself on Wednesday just made me think that that's not how I want to go about situations like those in the future and that I don't think we're suited for each other.”
This gutted me not only because she referred to our relation as “hanging out or whatever” but because I thought we had resolved our problems and were going to work through them together. It also hurt me because she broke up with me via text knowing she would see me the next day on campus after her lecture. It also hurt because she had only said she doesn’t want to see me anymore when I messaged to ask what was going on knowing I had told her I am giving her space and she should message me when she is ready to talk. But this wasn’t talking, it was a definitive decision and instead of telling me, she left me hanging for days, freaking out while waiting for an update. Lack of communication, once again.
I also felt like while I had made a mistake, I gave her a genuine apology, promised not to do it again and wanted to discuss it more. How did I become the villain of the story all of a sudden?
I felt like I had been so good to her and this issue, while valid, wasn’t big enough to break up over and speak to me like I meant nothing. An in-person conversation with something approximating, “You were good to me and I appreciate the effort you made and enjoyed our time together but the way you handled our last argument made me realise that we are not suited for each other. I wish the best for you.” would have been so much kinder and I reread her text over and over again asking myself what I did to deserve a breakup like that.
AITA for comparing her to my ex and saying that she should have brought up the issues she had with me and what I had been doing wrong separately after a genuine in-person apology.