Scorpio women traits
Astrology
2017.07.08 02:36 prometheus_x Astrology
Subreddit for astrology, numerology and mysticism in general.
2021.05.15 16:43 Currer_Bell_JE rareINTJfemales
This community is for and about INTJ women who want to discuss the traits of their MBTI results and personality and enjoy discussion with others who are INTJ.
2017.04.01 12:10 kevin32 Where Are All The Good Men?
In response to niceguys, this sub is dedicated to exposing all the women who complain about wanting a "good man", to show what happens when women reject decent men for jerks and promiscuity, along with showing the unreasonable standards many women have while offering little to no value themselves.
2024.05.19 17:28 Icantthinkofaname510 The astrology of anime characters.
So I watch a lot of anime. And I couldn't help but look up their birthdays to see if they were officially listed. And anime characters mostly have canon birthdays on wiki pages!
What blew me away though was how accurate these assigned zodiac signs for each character were.
Levi Ackerman from attack on titan? He's such a Capricorn. Gojo Satoru? He's a textbook Sagittarius. L from deathnote is no doubt a Scorpio. Tohru Honda from fruits basket has such obvious taurian traits, Eren Yeager as an Aries is also very fitting, etc.
If you ask me, there's someone who definitely thinks and carefully assigns these birthdays. Maybe it's the authors themselves but I can't imagine every single one of them being astrologers/ being aware of astrology lol
submitted by Icantthinkofaname510 to astrologymemes [link] [comments]
What blew me away though was how accurate these assigned zodiac signs for each character were.
Levi Ackerman from attack on titan? He's such a Capricorn. Gojo Satoru? He's a textbook Sagittarius. L from deathnote is no doubt a Scorpio. Tohru Honda from fruits basket has such obvious taurian traits, Eren Yeager as an Aries is also very fitting, etc.
If you ask me, there's someone who definitely thinks and carefully assigns these birthdays. Maybe it's the authors themselves but I can't imagine every single one of them being astrologers/ being aware of astrology lol
2024.05.19 16:37 Hey_86thatnow Story-what one dBPD father is like and how I survive
 | Thank goodness for this community. Reading such common experiences helps me immensely, so I wanted to share mine and see if it resonates with you all. submitted by Hey_86thatnow to raisedbyborderlines [link] [comments] Dad was diagnosed about 20 years ago by a marriage counselor. She then “fired” him from her practice, saying his marriage was beyond help because of it. Apparently, this rejection is common among BPD patients…implying it's unfixable, Since then, the ICD-11 has added a category called “difficult personalities disorder” probably to umbrella in the people who don’t fit neatly into the “5 of 9 traits” required for complete BPD diagnosis. Interestingly, he’s not unfaithful or suicidal, he kept the same job for decades, he can be fun and loving. But he rants, he overeats, he splits and denies, he isolates, he ruminates and fears, he blames and attacks and projects his self-esteem issues onto others...mostly me. First, he was a very loving father when we were kids, attentive and supportive. And then a fantastic grandfather to my sons-loving, etc.. keeping his worst traits in check most of the time with all of us when we were young. (Not with Mom, however.) It’s as if because his childhood was tough, he sees all children as underdogs who need special care. I will always be thankful for my childhood, for it laid the ground work for my self-esteem. However, he was rougher on my brother as a kid than on me, pushing, verbally abusing, etc.. This swapped as we both reached puberty. I realize this has something to do with his view of women, his wife and his own mother. As I became a woman, I became threatening, which appears common among BPD fathers. He then let my brother off the hook, where I got the laser focused judgment and anger. This is not to say he never loses his temper with my brother, he just tends to wait until the situation is severe (like brother getting arrested for DUI.) whereas I got attacked because I had 4 framed pictures of one son and 5 of our other son displayed in my den. Dad went on a level ten verbal attack. “What kind of a mother…rantrantrant” jamming the extra picture in my face. Walking around counting them sounds irrational doesn’t it? I met a visiting high school friend at Chili’s for dinner, and asked Mom to babysit, and I hear, “What kind of a mother goes to a bar and leaves her kids, rantrantrant.” Chili’s? Meanwhile, my brother can brag about sexual conquests, even when married. I have three college degrees—Dad never says a word. My brother flunked out of college, but Dad lies to everyone bro won a free ride to a prestigious university in our state. He paints my brother with all the best traits of my mother, but projects all his worst traits onto me. The irony is, I am very like my mother; my brother is not. But I am the scapegoat now, and brother is the golden child. This behavior and thinking is called splitting, or black and white thinking. It is so bad, that my father bought my brother a house when bro struggled financially. He has not had rent or a mortgage or land tax for over ten years. Me? Different story; everything I have, I earned and paid for. Mom kept a list of money they gave my brother over the years for cars or lawyers, etc. Not counting the free house, his column equals $64k. My column? Zero. (And I’m the “good” kid, responsible, there for my parents.) It’s taken a very long time for me to grasp that no matter how illogical or unfair it is, it won’t change—it is part of the disorder. I tell myself to be proud that I can make my own way without help. Dad’s impulsive, hair trigger temper over things that wouldn’t bother anyone else is profound. I’m exhausted from walking on eggshells, though avoiding conflict is so much better than entering it. He never hit us, but throws things, breaks our valuables (like Mom’s great-great grandmother’s rocker), curses, yells, screams. As a kid, I watched him fracture his wrist punching the wall when angry at Mom. He has had security remove him 3 times from my hospital room (two surgeries, one illness.) once because I told my mother about Christmas present ideas for my brother (and apparently should have been discussing my niece instead.) Who cares I had just had an 8 level spinal surgery the day before; Dad jumped out of his chair, livid, “You are forgetting someone aren’t you! Aren’t you.” He lost his cool the time I’d had surgery after a bike wreck, screaming he’d never let me see my mother again, and he’d write me out of the will. All I had done was interrupt him while he was talking. Security escorted him out. It was so ugly, one son refused to talk to him for months, shocked after witnessing it. My father told him that it was no big deal—that was just how he and I related, it was just our dynamic. My son said, "My mother never behaves that way and did nothing wrong," and hung up on him. Dad begged me to call my son and take some of the blame. IOW Dad cannot see his part in things. He sees reactions as proof that his anger is justified. Who cares how he causes these reactions. (Who cares that I was lying disabled in a hospital bed.) He is angered by the oddest things, the most innocuous things. He once followed a woman around at a party and purposefully interrupted her everytime she opened her mouth, then bragged later that he did this. He felt she was always cutting him off at past functions. Being interrupted is his hottest button. He wants everyone to listen to every last detail of whatever he has to say. And if you listen, but look like you aren’t, that’s as bad as interrupting him. But does he interrupt you? Of course he does, all the time, bored with what you want to say. He loves to get people’s goats, saying or doing very calculated things that he knows will annoy Mom or me or whomever. He has never physically hurt anyone, but mock something embarrassing from your past? He’s all over that. You can watch his face when he says provocative things on purpose—he’s just hoping you will ignite. When I wrecked my bike, instead of helping me up, he literally took pictures of me on the ground. Then showed the pictures to my brother, saying “What kind of an idiot rides a bike when she’s had spinal surgery” (8 years before). BPDs triangulate, and often lack compassion. When it comes to me and Mom, his favorite hostile line is “What kind of a___________does__________” When I went to take my mother to see my aunt and uncle, Dad tried to tag along, and my relatives said, "Please, if he wants to come, we'll have to disinvite you. We can't take anymore." he had been so hostile the last time they say him and made my aunt cry. He has no idea his behavior has this effect on people. He talks all about himself, and if he asks you a rare question about you, it is so he can then talk about himself. It’s like he thinks the type of lunch the kid ate (whom he sat next to in the third grade) is talk-show-worthy chitchat. But will cut you off in a second if you have something more pressing or recent to discuss. He’s very emotional and affectionate verbally and physically, but if you try to share your deeper thoughts or concerns, he gets very awkward and uncomfortable, and dismissive. BPDs struggle with intimacy and bonds. His narcissism is so bad, that when Mom died last year, he wrote her obituary, but 60% of it was about himself. When the newspaper edited out all the stuff about Dad, Dad called me fuming, accusing me of calling the paper to edit it. He still believes that. He also refused to let anyone have a memorial service/funeral-her ashes are still in the box from the crematory-- but later that summer, he started telling me what he wants me to do for his funeral. (We did a small family dinner in honor of Mom without him.) He is mistrustful and suspicious. He tends to take the other person’s side in regards to me, never trusting my perspective. If someone is offensive to me (like a boss who was angry when I refused to work from home while I was taking FMLA/disability pay after childbirth, or my ex who wasn’t paying child support) Dad took their side. I had to be the problem. When my husband was sent to a job site out of town, Dad thinks he asked to be assigned there to get away from me. (But says, “I just worry, and want you to be happy.”) When I get a text sent by a male friend to both me and my hubby’s phone inviting us both to dinner, he thinks there’s something fishy going on there with me and the man (and funny enough, I am certain Dad never cheated on Mom.) He throws cash around as presents, especially to the grandchildren, but even to people the rest of us wouldn’t include (ie. my husband’s brother-in-law’s niece-whom we barely know, my mother’s distant relatives whom no one has met, or my ex who hasn’t talked to him in decades, etc) It seems like a way to get their admiration or attention. He is always writing me in and out of the will, as if he’s the czar of millions. People with personality disorders are very manipulative or odd with gifts. He has zero friends, but talks all the time about people he knew as a kid. Where are they now? I’ve never met anyone from his childhood other than family- no cards, no messages, nothing. And no one from his life as an adult is close to him. My parents’ friendships came through Mom. I can sadly say, in a crisis, if Dad really needed to call someone and talk, only family is there (and that is only because we are compassionate, forgiving people). But funny enough, when he is in a social setting, he is not shy but wants to talk and entertain and be the center of the party. He loves to take people to task, often loudly and cruelly. Waitresses, nurses, cashiers all get dressed down and confronted for any perceived mistake. More than one doctor or service provider has hung up on him or yelled back at him. I witnessed this again in just the past two weeks, for Dad had a minor heart procedure. He wanted to tell each doctor and nurse the most irrelevant stuff, starting from the beginning of time…and would get mad if they didn’t let him. His cardiologist snapped at one point, “I need you to just give me quick answers!” so Dad yelled, and the guy walked out. Interestingly, I found an article, advice for doctors and nurses on how to handle illnesses when the patient also suffers from BPD. The descriptions were my father, to a T. One of piece of advice said something like beware of compliments and ignore criticism. Dad has been tossing the compliments around like confetti, “OH, Nurse, so and so, YOU are my number one.” But when his demands are not met immediately, he acts like a baby. And he keeps insulting me infront of doctors or nurses, applying his faults to me; “She’s stubborn, she has nasty temper.” I can be just standing there silently, and he says this. He said, to one doctor, “Don’t mind her, she’s very overbearing and headstrong…but in a good way.” I’d had enough, so I said, “There’s no reason to insult me, Dad.” He argued, “Oh, you didn’t hear my compliment. That was a compliment!” The doctor said, “If that was a compliment, it was a backhanded compliment." I could have hugged her. The worst part of being raised by a BPD? If I report any of this back to him, he will swear none of it is true. Gaslighting is their favorite manipulation, suggesting my perceptions are wrong. Either that, or he is in some sort of fugue when he acts so badly. How do I deal with all this? Often I don’t. Mom used to be a good buffer, til she developed ALZ and then Dad forced me to go through him, never allowing me to be alone with her. This hurt. Mom and I were very close, and before she lost her mind, we had many discussions about whether she should live with me instead. But BPD men get fixated on their mates, and he saw her as only his, not important to me or my brother or her grandchildren. (He even resented their dogs, because Mom "loved them more.") Even much younger, if I called to talk to Mom, Dad would rush the phone so I would have to talk to him first. So often I’d wait til she called me first. And now that he is all alone and his son mostly ignores him, My husband and our sons are the only ones really watching out for him. I use as much compassionate thinking as I can and remember that he got this way because he had a rough childhood (and I think the disorder runs in families—I really do.) His father died when Dad was 7. His immigrant mother could not read or write and she was raising 4 young kids by herself. Neglect, food insecurity and possible social rejection made a deep scar. I know that at the bottom of all this, Dad cannot, because of BPS, really ever trust that anyone loves him. So I do what I can, take long breaks, bite my tongue as much as possible, set boundaries, and leave when need to. To help, I come here and read very similar experiences in order to remember, IT’s NOT ME. But still, with this hospitalizing where he's milking the attention for all it's worth, I want to explode. I'm going to have a stroke if I have to spend this much time with him for much longer. During his surgery I was totally torn, hoping he would die, but very sad that he might. That’s some sucky head space. It was easier when Mom was alive and sane... Right now, I’m finding him assisted living, but he keeps threatening to rip out his IVs and go home. He can’t. He used to say, whoever took him in when he was old, would get all the money, and I’d say, “Have fun living with my brother.” But of course, none of that is true. I’m so resentful that I’m the one solving his health crisis. But also, in honor of Mom and my childhood, I love him and won’t dump him. I won't let him live with me, but I won't dump him. Thank you all, for totally understanding this dichotomy. Can you relate? What would you do? https://preview.redd.it/5b7pb27vbe1d1.jpg?width=4128&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=134bd4bbdf57fb8f83e139b42feb6459b3af79aa |
2024.05.19 16:09 Born_Shift7871 I feel that I will never be fulfilled due to my unique orientation
Burner account…. Im 24, and there are certain things I want out of life, a wife, family, kids… only problem is, I’m very very minimally sexually attracted to women, but fully romantically attracted to them. On the flip side, the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a man disgusts me to my core, but yet I’m sexually attacted to them. I feel as if this situation destroys my chances of living the life I want to live. I have a masculine personality and most folks assume I’m straight, it’s what I prefer to tell people anyway. But no one who isn’t gay or reflects gay or feminine traits wants to be that way in the first place. I’m afraid I’ll never actually be happy. Maybe despite my desire for a wife and kids and that type of life, it would be easier for me to be fully gay, but it’d never work… because outside of sexuality, I have zero desire to spend my life with another man, and everyone I’ve been romantically attracted to has been women, but as mentioned before. I’m afraid a relationship with a woman will never work for me because I’m not sexually attracted to them for the most part, hell during sex I kinda have to force myself in a lot of ways to maintain a sexual attraction, which is more effort than I’d like to let on. I feel stuck and not sure what to do about it.
submitted by Born_Shift7871 to youngadults [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 15:48 FalconWingedSlug 23[F4F] Anywhere - Hoping to find my forever?
Hi there, this will be a bit long. I appreciate you reading it all lol :)
I’m only looking for women
What I’m Looking For:
I’m looking for someone to make a connection with, and hopefully become something serious and last forever :) I want someone I can give all of me to and share my life with. I can talk to you about anything, and just fully be myself with and don’t have to hold anything back. Someone I can share my deepest thoughts with, and most unhinged parts XD. And they also share with me all of them. I’ve always dreamed of being fully known and understood by someone. Someone loving me for all of me, and loving someone for all of them. I have a world of love to give and want someone I can shower in it. I’m a hopeless romantic, after everything I’ve been through I still choose to believe true love is real and I’ll have it one day.
I want something that will truly last forever through anything. “Ride or die” is such a cringe term to me lol, but that’s what I’m really looking for. I have an unshakable loyalty when I’m committed to someone. My love is almost unconditional when I’m locked in.
Only message if you’re sure looking for something serious.
Do not message me if you ever ghost people If you’re not feeling it I would appreciate you telling me.
A little bit about me.
I’m a INTJ 5w4, and personality wise, I’m like 2 different people lol. Emotional and logical. I can be really sweet and wholesome. Supportive, the kind of person that will always be there for you. I’m also extremely affectionate both physically and with words. I’ll always talk about how much you mean to me :) But I also can be a quite overly logical jerk lol. Best of both worlds I guess. When I’m comfortable I can be really goofy and loud, and give crackhead energy, but in the beginning I’m really quiet and reserved. I try to be positive and nonjudgmental, while also being very strongly opinionated XD.
I also can be pretty dark. I have a good mixture of being wholesome and dark lol. It’s weird
I’m a contradiction but I love that about myself. You shouldn’t message me if you’re easily scared away, I am a pretty eccentric person generally lol I can ramble about weird/random stuff, and be pretty extra sometimes. I can talk in a kind of unfiltered way. I don’t want to have to hold those things back lmao.
Important tidbits. * I have a fear of abandonment and anxious attachment style. * I am obsessive and clingy when I fall for someone. (Not in a crazy way) lol * I am left leaning on most things. * Strictly Monogamous * Agnostic atheist. * I have BPD, we can talk about what that entails * In college for accounting * I have a pretty dark humor XD
Looks wise: I’m black, 5’2, very masc presenting, I have a short haircut and dress masc. I am def plus size, but definitely not like huge lol and currently losing weight as well :)
Interests: Gaming, true crime docs, horrothriller movies, I love all kinds of music. Particularly R&B, rock/metal, and Kpop though XD. I watch a lot of YouTube and tiktok. Working out/going to the gym, as I’ve recently started a new fitness journey. I’m kind of huge homebody tbh, wanting to get out more and have new experiences.
Who I’m Looking For:
Looks don’t matter much to me. You can be fem or masc.
Personality wise: I like a lot of different personalities. Some important traits though would be having emotional intelligence, Someone patient and caring. Also having a good logical side is very very important to me. As I said above I’m pretty affectionate and clingy so I’d match best with someone also like that lol. You can be introverted or extroverted. But too extroverted won’t be a match.
Age 22 to 40. I am from Chicago in the US, but I would love to talk to women from anywhere. I’m open to relocate anywhere gay mar riage is legal lol
Thank you for reading all of this. If you’re interested please message me a little about you. :)
submitted by FalconWingedSlug to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
I’m only looking for women
What I’m Looking For:
I’m looking for someone to make a connection with, and hopefully become something serious and last forever :) I want someone I can give all of me to and share my life with. I can talk to you about anything, and just fully be myself with and don’t have to hold anything back. Someone I can share my deepest thoughts with, and most unhinged parts XD. And they also share with me all of them. I’ve always dreamed of being fully known and understood by someone. Someone loving me for all of me, and loving someone for all of them. I have a world of love to give and want someone I can shower in it. I’m a hopeless romantic, after everything I’ve been through I still choose to believe true love is real and I’ll have it one day.
I want something that will truly last forever through anything. “Ride or die” is such a cringe term to me lol, but that’s what I’m really looking for. I have an unshakable loyalty when I’m committed to someone. My love is almost unconditional when I’m locked in.
Only message if you’re sure looking for something serious.
Do not message me if you ever ghost people If you’re not feeling it I would appreciate you telling me.
A little bit about me.
I’m a INTJ 5w4, and personality wise, I’m like 2 different people lol. Emotional and logical. I can be really sweet and wholesome. Supportive, the kind of person that will always be there for you. I’m also extremely affectionate both physically and with words. I’ll always talk about how much you mean to me :) But I also can be a quite overly logical jerk lol. Best of both worlds I guess. When I’m comfortable I can be really goofy and loud, and give crackhead energy, but in the beginning I’m really quiet and reserved. I try to be positive and nonjudgmental, while also being very strongly opinionated XD.
I also can be pretty dark. I have a good mixture of being wholesome and dark lol. It’s weird
I’m a contradiction but I love that about myself. You shouldn’t message me if you’re easily scared away, I am a pretty eccentric person generally lol I can ramble about weird/random stuff, and be pretty extra sometimes. I can talk in a kind of unfiltered way. I don’t want to have to hold those things back lmao.
Important tidbits. * I have a fear of abandonment and anxious attachment style. * I am obsessive and clingy when I fall for someone. (Not in a crazy way) lol * I am left leaning on most things. * Strictly Monogamous * Agnostic atheist. * I have BPD, we can talk about what that entails * In college for accounting * I have a pretty dark humor XD
Looks wise: I’m black, 5’2, very masc presenting, I have a short haircut and dress masc. I am def plus size, but definitely not like huge lol and currently losing weight as well :)
Interests: Gaming, true crime docs, horrothriller movies, I love all kinds of music. Particularly R&B, rock/metal, and Kpop though XD. I watch a lot of YouTube and tiktok. Working out/going to the gym, as I’ve recently started a new fitness journey. I’m kind of huge homebody tbh, wanting to get out more and have new experiences.
Who I’m Looking For:
Looks don’t matter much to me. You can be fem or masc.
Personality wise: I like a lot of different personalities. Some important traits though would be having emotional intelligence, Someone patient and caring. Also having a good logical side is very very important to me. As I said above I’m pretty affectionate and clingy so I’d match best with someone also like that lol. You can be introverted or extroverted. But too extroverted won’t be a match.
Age 22 to 40. I am from Chicago in the US, but I would love to talk to women from anywhere. I’m open to relocate anywhere gay mar riage is legal lol
Thank you for reading all of this. If you’re interested please message me a little about you. :)
2024.05.19 15:47 FalconWingedSlug 23[F4F] Anywhere - Hoping to find my forever?
Hi there, this will be a bit long. I appreciate you reading it all lol :)
What I’m Looking For:
I’m looking for someone to make a connection with, and hopefully become something serious and last forever :) I want someone I can give all of me to and share my life with. I can talk to you about anything, and just fully be myself with and don’t have to hold anything back. Someone I can share my deepest thoughts with, and most unhinged parts XD. And they also share with me all of them. I’ve always dreamed of being fully known and understood by someone. Someone loving me for all of me, and loving someone for all of them. I have a world of love to give and want someone I can shower in it. I’m a hopeless romantic, after everything I’ve been through I still choose to believe true love is real and I’ll have it one day.
I want something that will truly last forever through anything. “Ride or die” is such a cringe term to me lol, but that’s what I’m really looking for. I have an unshakable loyalty when I’m committed to someone. My love is almost unconditional when I’m locked in.
Only message if you’re sure looking for something serious.
Do not message me if you ever ghost people If you’re not feeling it I would appreciate you telling me.
A little bit about me.
I’m a INTJ 5w4, and personality wise, I’m like 2 different people lol. Emotional and logical. I can be really sweet and wholesome. Supportive, the kind of person that will always be there for you. I’m also extremely affectionate both physically and with words. I’ll always talk about how much you mean to me :) But I also can be a quite overly logical jerk lol. Best of both worlds I guess. When I’m comfortable I can be really goofy and loud, and give crackhead energy, but in the beginning I’m really quiet and reserved. I try to be positive and nonjudgmental, while also being very strongly opinionated XD.
I also can be pretty dark. I have a good mixture of being wholesome and dark lol. It’s weird
I’m a contradiction but I love that about myself. You shouldn’t message me if you’re easily scared away, I am a pretty eccentric person generally lol I can ramble about weird/random stuff, and be pretty extra sometimes. I can talk in a kind of unfiltered way. I don’t want to have to hold those things back lmao.
Important tidbits. * I have a fear of abandonment and anxious attachment style. * I am obsessive and clingy when I fall for someone. (Not in a crazy way) lol * I am left leaning on most things. * Strictly Monogamous * Agnostic atheist. * I have BPD, we can talk about what that entails * In college for accounting * I have a pretty dark humor XD
Looks wise: I’m black, 5’2, very masc presenting, I have a short haircut and dress masc. I am def plus size, but definitely not like huge lol and currently losing weight as well :)
Interests: Gaming, true crime docs, horrothriller movies, I love all kinds of music. Particularly R&B, rock/metal, and Kpop though XD. I watch a lot of YouTube and tiktok. Working out/going to the gym, as I’ve recently started a new fitness journey. I’m kind of huge homebody tbh, wanting to get out more and have new experiences.
Who I’m Looking For:
Looks don’t matter much to me. You can be fem or masc.
Personality wise: I like a lot of different personalities. Some important traits though would be having emotional intelligence, Someone patient and caring. Also having a good logical side is very very important to me. As I said above I’m pretty affectionate and clingy so I’d match best with someone also like that lol. You can be introverted or extroverted. But too extroverted won’t be a match.
Age 22 to 40. I am from Chicago in the US, but I would love to talk to women from anywhere. I’m open to relocate anywhere gay marriage is legal lol
Thank you for reading all of this. If you’re interested please message me a little about you. :)
submitted by FalconWingedSlug to lesbianr4r [link] [comments]
What I’m Looking For:
I’m looking for someone to make a connection with, and hopefully become something serious and last forever :) I want someone I can give all of me to and share my life with. I can talk to you about anything, and just fully be myself with and don’t have to hold anything back. Someone I can share my deepest thoughts with, and most unhinged parts XD. And they also share with me all of them. I’ve always dreamed of being fully known and understood by someone. Someone loving me for all of me, and loving someone for all of them. I have a world of love to give and want someone I can shower in it. I’m a hopeless romantic, after everything I’ve been through I still choose to believe true love is real and I’ll have it one day.
I want something that will truly last forever through anything. “Ride or die” is such a cringe term to me lol, but that’s what I’m really looking for. I have an unshakable loyalty when I’m committed to someone. My love is almost unconditional when I’m locked in.
Only message if you’re sure looking for something serious.
Do not message me if you ever ghost people If you’re not feeling it I would appreciate you telling me.
A little bit about me.
I’m a INTJ 5w4, and personality wise, I’m like 2 different people lol. Emotional and logical. I can be really sweet and wholesome. Supportive, the kind of person that will always be there for you. I’m also extremely affectionate both physically and with words. I’ll always talk about how much you mean to me :) But I also can be a quite overly logical jerk lol. Best of both worlds I guess. When I’m comfortable I can be really goofy and loud, and give crackhead energy, but in the beginning I’m really quiet and reserved. I try to be positive and nonjudgmental, while also being very strongly opinionated XD.
I also can be pretty dark. I have a good mixture of being wholesome and dark lol. It’s weird
I’m a contradiction but I love that about myself. You shouldn’t message me if you’re easily scared away, I am a pretty eccentric person generally lol I can ramble about weird/random stuff, and be pretty extra sometimes. I can talk in a kind of unfiltered way. I don’t want to have to hold those things back lmao.
Important tidbits. * I have a fear of abandonment and anxious attachment style. * I am obsessive and clingy when I fall for someone. (Not in a crazy way) lol * I am left leaning on most things. * Strictly Monogamous * Agnostic atheist. * I have BPD, we can talk about what that entails * In college for accounting * I have a pretty dark humor XD
Looks wise: I’m black, 5’2, very masc presenting, I have a short haircut and dress masc. I am def plus size, but definitely not like huge lol and currently losing weight as well :)
Interests: Gaming, true crime docs, horrothriller movies, I love all kinds of music. Particularly R&B, rock/metal, and Kpop though XD. I watch a lot of YouTube and tiktok. Working out/going to the gym, as I’ve recently started a new fitness journey. I’m kind of huge homebody tbh, wanting to get out more and have new experiences.
Who I’m Looking For:
Looks don’t matter much to me. You can be fem or masc.
Personality wise: I like a lot of different personalities. Some important traits though would be having emotional intelligence, Someone patient and caring. Also having a good logical side is very very important to me. As I said above I’m pretty affectionate and clingy so I’d match best with someone also like that lol. You can be introverted or extroverted. But too extroverted won’t be a match.
Age 22 to 40. I am from Chicago in the US, but I would love to talk to women from anywhere. I’m open to relocate anywhere gay marriage is legal lol
Thank you for reading all of this. If you’re interested please message me a little about you. :)
2024.05.19 15:31 xfallenangelx95 28/F Seeking a friendship with people who know what they want! People who talk a lot, need someone to talk to on a daily basis and really want to make new friends 🌸 I don't need shallow conversations. I want to talk to friendless and understanding people who are emotionally mature.
(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to friendship [link] [comments]
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
2024.05.19 15:27 xfallenangelx95 28/F [L] [O] Seeking emotional support and highly empathetic people.I would love to find someone who doesn't judge others or make fun of them.It's very Important to have someone to rely on :) I'm here for conversations with emotionally mature people who don't have friends and need someone to talk to
(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to KindVoice [link] [comments]
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊
2024.05.19 14:35 Ok_Welder_5593 Women prefer to date and marry men they think are less attractive than they are.
I think a lot of good looking men, or men who grew up being complimented over their looks, are assumed to have bad or dull personalities before opening their mouth. I also think they are judged a little more harshly than men who don’t have as many traits one could deem as “good-looking,” like a sharp jawline, prominent cheekbones, symmetry and proportional features, eyelash length, etc.
We all know what good-looking is; it’s why there’s so much overlap in the features of actors and why so many actors have so-called, “lookalikes.” Men know what a good looking woman looks like.
I notice that my girl-friends NEVER choose the man they are most attracted to, which is always a man that has these features and looks like he could be on camera.
It’s never really about them having a bad personality, being unavailable, etc. They take themselves out of the running so to speak by making assumptions, and they HATE, hate, hate, hate, the idea of competing with another woman, which is a wee bit hypocritical as some of them entertain multiple men, but they’re well within their right to do so.
I love my friends, but I think they set themselves up for marriage failure and disappointment by doing this. I’m not saying looks are everything, but how does a personality set itself apart from another’s, when both are “good?” I see this sentiment online, and it’s an interesting one, but I think looks alter how ppl judge your personality.
I have one friend, let’s call her Tasha; she thought a keynote speaker at one of our latest events (both event planners at same org) was extremely handsome. And objectively speaking, he was. He gave a great speech. During our networking happy hour, I invite him over to our table. He’s single too.
He’s charismatic, hilarious, he’s a good listener, and she’s smiling during the whole situation, but it’s a closed lip, squint the eyes smile; one of those smiles you give a kid when he thinks he’s done something genius but it wasn’t. But she starts doing something uncharacteristic; she only turns to me and talks, and she’s low volume. It could almost be classified as rude.
She’s a lot more reserved than she usually is around this guy. I asked her afterward whether she liked the guy and she kept it simple in a way where she made it known that it was an uncomfortable subject; a very curt, “yeah.”
Now, we’ve hung out with men that Tasha NEVER thought were cute, and were much more crass in nature, less motivated and unhygienic, but she would act like they were the greatest thing since sliced bread. However, post hang out, she would complain about them.
This is behavior that most of my girl-friends exhibit. It could be a regional US thing, maybe.
I think many women need to feel comfortable above all else for a relationship to work for them. I think some men can be “too complete” for some women to deal with.
Thoughts?
submitted by Ok_Welder_5593 to TrueUnpopularOpinion [link] [comments]
We all know what good-looking is; it’s why there’s so much overlap in the features of actors and why so many actors have so-called, “lookalikes.” Men know what a good looking woman looks like.
I notice that my girl-friends NEVER choose the man they are most attracted to, which is always a man that has these features and looks like he could be on camera.
It’s never really about them having a bad personality, being unavailable, etc. They take themselves out of the running so to speak by making assumptions, and they HATE, hate, hate, hate, the idea of competing with another woman, which is a wee bit hypocritical as some of them entertain multiple men, but they’re well within their right to do so.
I love my friends, but I think they set themselves up for marriage failure and disappointment by doing this. I’m not saying looks are everything, but how does a personality set itself apart from another’s, when both are “good?” I see this sentiment online, and it’s an interesting one, but I think looks alter how ppl judge your personality.
I have one friend, let’s call her Tasha; she thought a keynote speaker at one of our latest events (both event planners at same org) was extremely handsome. And objectively speaking, he was. He gave a great speech. During our networking happy hour, I invite him over to our table. He’s single too.
He’s charismatic, hilarious, he’s a good listener, and she’s smiling during the whole situation, but it’s a closed lip, squint the eyes smile; one of those smiles you give a kid when he thinks he’s done something genius but it wasn’t. But she starts doing something uncharacteristic; she only turns to me and talks, and she’s low volume. It could almost be classified as rude.
She’s a lot more reserved than she usually is around this guy. I asked her afterward whether she liked the guy and she kept it simple in a way where she made it known that it was an uncomfortable subject; a very curt, “yeah.”
Now, we’ve hung out with men that Tasha NEVER thought were cute, and were much more crass in nature, less motivated and unhygienic, but she would act like they were the greatest thing since sliced bread. However, post hang out, she would complain about them.
This is behavior that most of my girl-friends exhibit. It could be a regional US thing, maybe.
I think many women need to feel comfortable above all else for a relationship to work for them. I think some men can be “too complete” for some women to deal with.
Thoughts?
2024.05.19 13:36 Hug-potato Something that I’ve noticed about the way women are promoted in the media and I wanna know if anyone else has noticed too.
So this is a crack theory but it’s been in my mind for a while now . so you know how there are hundreds of talented busty women or just beautiful women in the media, whether they are actresses , singers, artists….etc. And they do get comments about how beautiful they are.but I’ve noticed there is a handful of them that, when they get comments about their beauty or their bodies, it’s always in comparison with other women.stay with me on this one.
so for example Beyoncé, shakira , Ariana grande, Rihanna and Taylor swift, …etc all Talented beautiful women who are recognised for both their talents and beauty, but never for one trait .like Beyoncé and Rihanna are busty but you never know them for that trait. and even when you go to their comments section, you see comments about how beautiful and sexy they are like “omg she’s so beautiful omg she’s so perfect”. but you rarely see comments like ”this is what women should look like“ or“I wish all women looked like you.“or “this is the optimum of beauty/ femininity”. I’m not saying that they don’t get it but it’s not the majority of the comments.
now in contrast, women who are more beautiful then they are talented or at least women who promote their looks more than their talent , e.g. Sydney Sweeney, Kate upton , Monica Bellucci..most of influencers. when they get complemented it’s always by pitting them against other women e.g. “this is what women should look like“or “I bet All your haters are jealous women“ or “she makes the Women next to her look plain“ you get the idea. but it doesn’t make sense why other Busty women don’t get famous for their boob size alone or get those types of comments . That’s because the talented women want to be recognised for their work,so they promote their talent more then their looks.yes they do rely on their looks ,but not as much as the women I mentioned above. So i really think that the ‘bombshell women" aren’t bombshell because they are objectively more beautiful than other women , they just market themselves that way. i wouldn’t be surprised if they have PR agents who go to comment sections and initiate those type of comments to encourage other people to make similar comments, or that they are marketed in a way that elicit a reaction out of women and get them to post Hate/critical comments, which would add to their bombshell brand. Anyway I’m gonna stop with the yapping. What do you ladies think?
submitted by Hug-potato to smallbooblove [link] [comments]
so for example Beyoncé, shakira , Ariana grande, Rihanna and Taylor swift, …etc all Talented beautiful women who are recognised for both their talents and beauty, but never for one trait .like Beyoncé and Rihanna are busty but you never know them for that trait. and even when you go to their comments section, you see comments about how beautiful and sexy they are like “omg she’s so beautiful omg she’s so perfect”. but you rarely see comments like ”this is what women should look like“ or“I wish all women looked like you.“or “this is the optimum of beauty/ femininity”. I’m not saying that they don’t get it but it’s not the majority of the comments.
now in contrast, women who are more beautiful then they are talented or at least women who promote their looks more than their talent , e.g. Sydney Sweeney, Kate upton , Monica Bellucci..most of influencers. when they get complemented it’s always by pitting them against other women e.g. “this is what women should look like“or “I bet All your haters are jealous women“ or “she makes the Women next to her look plain“ you get the idea. but it doesn’t make sense why other Busty women don’t get famous for their boob size alone or get those types of comments . That’s because the talented women want to be recognised for their work,so they promote their talent more then their looks.yes they do rely on their looks ,but not as much as the women I mentioned above. So i really think that the ‘bombshell women" aren’t bombshell because they are objectively more beautiful than other women , they just market themselves that way. i wouldn’t be surprised if they have PR agents who go to comment sections and initiate those type of comments to encourage other people to make similar comments, or that they are marketed in a way that elicit a reaction out of women and get them to post Hate/critical comments, which would add to their bombshell brand. Anyway I’m gonna stop with the yapping. What do you ladies think?
2024.05.19 12:57 CharmingSama Question for my fellow men, every woman has experienced other toxic women in their past, and have been on the receiving side of a toxic woman's abuse. how di your mother prepare you for a world where toxic women exist, to protect you from getting into a relationship that could ruin you?
I have often heard the conversation on protecting daughters from toxic men, but have honestly never heard a conversation about protecting son's from toxic women... it strikes me as a very 1950s mentality regarding relationships and unwillingness to admit that toxic is not a gender trait but a human trait, that a son can experience abuse from a toxic woman much like a daughter can from a toxic man. im genuinely curious, as my own mother had never even thought about it... to inform me let alone warn me about the dark side of women, like my father did for my sister. I spoke with my guy friends, and they too were at a loss when considering how they were also not warned... it made me wonder, is this a local thing? or do women not really concern themselves with protecting their son's from toxic women in the way fathers seek to protect their daughters from toxic men?
submitted by CharmingSama to AskMen [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 12:11 MeatJordan Where CAN I protest this?
Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?
submitted by MeatJordan to whatsbotheringyou [link] [comments]
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?
2024.05.19 11:51 doomslayer30000 A Crusader Kings 2-style event
 | submitted by doomslayer30000 to BlueArchive [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 10:59 Morfiantra I suspect I'm on the spectrum
I had a lot of food for thought in the past week. To be fair, the suspicion that I could be AuDHD has been rummaging in my brain for quite some time now, but it took a talk with my co-worker who was recently diagnosed with Autism for me to really dig deeper. She is very high-functioning and high-masking, but we share so many traits in various aspects that it kind of just clicked for me.
I then spoke to my mum on Friday and asked her if she thinks it possible and funnily enough, she instantly said that it is extremely likely based on my difficulties in social scenarios and stimuli. She is a care worker and has completed many courses on autism due to her job, so hearing that made me feel extremely validated. I am currently only diagnosed with ADHD because I didn't bring up the possibility of autism at that point.
My symptoms are probably on the lower end of the spectrum. It is very hard to find resources online that are written specifically for women with AuDHD. So I thought to post here and see if people diagnosed with both can relate or if I'm just completely off the mark.
For a long time I didn't really do well in groups of people. They overwhelm and overstimulate me if I am not in a setting of people who don't share my special interests. Other times I simply just am.... Extremely uninterested in talking to people who don't like what I like. The point my mum highlighted was that I always avoided social interaction, that talking to people made me extremely anxious, that I never "fit in". I know that something like this can be attributed to general anxiety or social anxiety, but for me the biggest issue is always that I simply don't know how to engage with people because I don't know how to be like them. Small talk doesn't do much for me. I learned to do it to be polite, because that's the social norm, but I don't care about it at all. I always just want to talk about my special interests and that's why it's easier for me to be social at, for example, comic cons and stuff. Because that's the only place where I feel like I can be myself. If I am forced to talk to "normal" people I feel out of place and extremely uncomfortable. I have to play a role, but always with the sense that I am an imposter.
Then there's eye contact. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to look at a person's face when I am talking to them. I can't pinpoint why, but eye contact makes me squirm and cringe and I don't like it at all. I also force myself to do it now because again, it's kind of the norm.
My special interests absorb me and it's usually all I think about. I have always been a daydreamer, living in the world I am currently absorbed by. My partner is very likely on the spectrum too and luckily we share the same special interests, so that is an absolute blessing because he is the only person in my life I really don't have to mask with.
I have been stimming since I was a child, and textures are an especially important part for me. I always need to touch something with texture, even now.
But there's certain textures and smells that make me really uncomfortable. Oily or slimy things in particular. For the longest time I was unable to moisturise my skin because the feeling of cream is a big no for me. Therefore I've also hardly ever used sunscreen because the feeling AND smell is horrible for me. I apologise for the TMI but I struggle extremely with giving oral sex due to that reason too. I can't deal with the texture of certain bodily fluids and it makes me feel awful because my partner became insecure about it before. I tried to explain why to him, but I don't know how you explain something like that.
Empathy is a difficult subject. I always thought I was an extremely empathetic person, because I'm always there for other people and do what I can do help them. But if I really dig deep, I don't know if I truly ever understood someone's emotions in the way neurotypical people might. Big emotions make me uncomfortable because I don't know how to react. So it is likely my trying to comfort others was a way to help someone stop feeling these big feelings, so that it no longer makes me feel awkward. It sounds horrible, I know. That said, being empathetic is a lot easier when it happens on the internet, because I'm not directly next to someone who is crying. I also don't have any trouble crying at movies or stuff, and I am extremely against justice or harm against vulnerable groups (be that animals or people) and my empathy absolutely kicks in when I see injustice or harm against them. It is really tricky, and I don't know how to explain it.
However I think due to my ADHD I never struggled when my routine gets interrupted, because I'm so used to not having one. I am definitely stuck in ways to do stuff - I can't creatively think outside of the box and have to do things a certain way, be it at work or with my hobbies, and that places a huge barrier for me, because I feel like it prevents me from progressing. I did have emotional outbursts before when plans got interrupted I've prepared for in my head. But generally I can be quite spontaneous (or rather impulsive, if we're being honest) without trouble.
Sorry this got really long, but I'd be interested in hearing your stories and if you can relate. I'm probably gonna pursue a diagnosis eventually just to have a definitive answer and to be able to say "ah, this is why I am the way I am".
submitted by Morfiantra to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
I then spoke to my mum on Friday and asked her if she thinks it possible and funnily enough, she instantly said that it is extremely likely based on my difficulties in social scenarios and stimuli. She is a care worker and has completed many courses on autism due to her job, so hearing that made me feel extremely validated. I am currently only diagnosed with ADHD because I didn't bring up the possibility of autism at that point.
My symptoms are probably on the lower end of the spectrum. It is very hard to find resources online that are written specifically for women with AuDHD. So I thought to post here and see if people diagnosed with both can relate or if I'm just completely off the mark.
For a long time I didn't really do well in groups of people. They overwhelm and overstimulate me if I am not in a setting of people who don't share my special interests. Other times I simply just am.... Extremely uninterested in talking to people who don't like what I like. The point my mum highlighted was that I always avoided social interaction, that talking to people made me extremely anxious, that I never "fit in". I know that something like this can be attributed to general anxiety or social anxiety, but for me the biggest issue is always that I simply don't know how to engage with people because I don't know how to be like them. Small talk doesn't do much for me. I learned to do it to be polite, because that's the social norm, but I don't care about it at all. I always just want to talk about my special interests and that's why it's easier for me to be social at, for example, comic cons and stuff. Because that's the only place where I feel like I can be myself. If I am forced to talk to "normal" people I feel out of place and extremely uncomfortable. I have to play a role, but always with the sense that I am an imposter.
Then there's eye contact. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to look at a person's face when I am talking to them. I can't pinpoint why, but eye contact makes me squirm and cringe and I don't like it at all. I also force myself to do it now because again, it's kind of the norm.
My special interests absorb me and it's usually all I think about. I have always been a daydreamer, living in the world I am currently absorbed by. My partner is very likely on the spectrum too and luckily we share the same special interests, so that is an absolute blessing because he is the only person in my life I really don't have to mask with.
I have been stimming since I was a child, and textures are an especially important part for me. I always need to touch something with texture, even now.
But there's certain textures and smells that make me really uncomfortable. Oily or slimy things in particular. For the longest time I was unable to moisturise my skin because the feeling of cream is a big no for me. Therefore I've also hardly ever used sunscreen because the feeling AND smell is horrible for me. I apologise for the TMI but I struggle extremely with giving oral sex due to that reason too. I can't deal with the texture of certain bodily fluids and it makes me feel awful because my partner became insecure about it before. I tried to explain why to him, but I don't know how you explain something like that.
Empathy is a difficult subject. I always thought I was an extremely empathetic person, because I'm always there for other people and do what I can do help them. But if I really dig deep, I don't know if I truly ever understood someone's emotions in the way neurotypical people might. Big emotions make me uncomfortable because I don't know how to react. So it is likely my trying to comfort others was a way to help someone stop feeling these big feelings, so that it no longer makes me feel awkward. It sounds horrible, I know. That said, being empathetic is a lot easier when it happens on the internet, because I'm not directly next to someone who is crying. I also don't have any trouble crying at movies or stuff, and I am extremely against justice or harm against vulnerable groups (be that animals or people) and my empathy absolutely kicks in when I see injustice or harm against them. It is really tricky, and I don't know how to explain it.
However I think due to my ADHD I never struggled when my routine gets interrupted, because I'm so used to not having one. I am definitely stuck in ways to do stuff - I can't creatively think outside of the box and have to do things a certain way, be it at work or with my hobbies, and that places a huge barrier for me, because I feel like it prevents me from progressing. I did have emotional outbursts before when plans got interrupted I've prepared for in my head. But generally I can be quite spontaneous (or rather impulsive, if we're being honest) without trouble.
Sorry this got really long, but I'd be interested in hearing your stories and if you can relate. I'm probably gonna pursue a diagnosis eventually just to have a definitive answer and to be able to say "ah, this is why I am the way I am".
2024.05.19 10:54 Odd-Hand-2026 🇨🇳
 | submitted by Odd-Hand-2026 to TartarianAR [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 10:11 midnightshazes Autism & BPD
Does anybody else with autism feel suicidal when relationships end? I’m trying to work out whether my borderline personality disorder diagnosis was a misdiagnosis (I was diagnosed with bpd at 21 and autism at 23. I’m now 25) I didn’t have any particular traumatic event growing up so it would appear that it was a misdiagnosis, however I still feel like I relate to a lot of the symptoms of bpd, but im unsure whether those are just autistic traits or bpd? The more I read about how autism presents in women, the more I feel like they are such similar diagnoses I really can’t distinguish the difference between them. I attempted suicide when I was 20 twice, mainly because I was in love with a man who didn’t love me back. But also because I was terrified of leaving university as I had no idea what I was doing with my life and I was very burnt out. My therapist seems to think my bpd diagnosis was a misdiagnosis but I feel very conflicted and confused? I experience such intense emotional dysregulation, switching between loving someone and hating them, explosive anger, self harm, suicidal ideation. But I can’t tell if that’s autism or the bpd! Anyone got any ideas?
submitted by midnightshazes to autism [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 08:28 Snowie_Mountainn Unveiling Marinette's "Pick Me" Persona: An Examination of Fan Reception and Its Implications
 | In the world of animated series, characters often act as reflections of societal norms and behaviors. Marinette Dupain-Cheng from “Miraculous Ladybug” is a prime example. Despite her popularity, she has faced backlash for embodying traits associated with the “pick me” mentality. This article delves into Marinette’s depiction as a “pick me” character and the challenges of fan acceptance.** First and foremost, it is crucial to understand the concept of a “pick me” character. This term, rooted in social media culture, describes an individual, typically a woman, who seeks validation and attention by undermining other women or prioritizing male approval. Marinette demonstrates this behavior through her relentless pursuit of Adrien Agreste’s affection, often neglecting her own well-being and relationships with others. Her actions, such as constantly changing herself to match Adrien’s preferences and rejecting other potential suitors, align with the traits of a “pick me” persona. Despite Marinette’s clear portrayal as a “pick me” character, fan responses to this aspect of her personality vary greatly and are often polarized. Some viewers staunchly defend Marinette, attributing her behavior to her youthful innocence and genuine love for Adrien. They argue that her conduct is typical of teenage infatuation and should be seen with empathy and understanding. Conversely, critics view Marinette’s actions as regressive, perpetuating harmful stereotypes about women’s value being linked to male approval. They advocate for a more nuanced depiction of Marinette that emphasizes her personal growth and independence from romantic interests. The differing reactions among fans to Marinette’s “pick me” tendencies shed light on broader societal attitudes towards femininity and romance. Some fans may unknowingly relate to Marinette, empathizing with her struggles to navigate intricate emotions and societal pressures. Others may take a more critical stance, emphasizing the need for Marinette to evolve beyond her fixation on Adrien and prioritize her own development. submitted by Snowie_Mountainn to miraculousladybug [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 06:52 CleverBeetle Singaporeans approaching 40s and already in their 40s who are single and childless, how do you feel about that?
This is more directed to women I suppose but feel free to share your thoughts otherwise.
I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be in our 40s or approaching 40 as single and childless in Singapore. It's a topic that doesn't seem to come up often enough, so I wanted to hear from you all.
For those of us in this age group, how do you feel about not being married and childless? In Singapore, there's this strong expectation to settle down and start a family by a certain age. But life isn't always so straightforward I guess, too many curveballs.
I always thought I'd have a future with someone special by now. But things didn't turn out as planned. Had my share of relationships, and honestly, most of them didn't end well. I think I have a very people-pleasing trait that attracts a lot of energy vampires and narcissists and I tend to ignore red flags. However, I've learned a lot from those experiences and can see things more clearly now. Now, I'm feeling pretty jaded about the whole dating thing imho
On top of that, I'm of Indian and Eurasian ancestry, and our communities here are quite small. This makes the peer pressure even more intense. It feels like everyone knows everyone else's business, and there's this unspoken expectation to hit certain life milestones. While I'm not really feeling FOMO, it's tough being surrounded by people who think that getting married and having kids is the epitome of success.
I've noticed that some of my friends who are single and childless seem to be leading very mundane, Groundhog Day sort of lives. It feels like they're just going through the motions, perhaps to avoid thinking about what they might be missing.
Another thing that scares me is the number of divorces happening around people in this age group. And this is very hard to say, but while I was dating in the last few years, I came across so many married men on these sites in their 30s and 40s. Even friends who are married with kids behave like they're single. It makes me feel like they aren't fulfilled in their marriages and are looking for something else or just variety. I don't know, but it scares me a lot.
So, how do you deal with these societal expectations? Have you found fulfillment in other parts of your life? How do you balance personal happiness with all the external pressures?
Would love to hear your wisdom and experiences. Let's support each other and share some advice!
submitted by CleverBeetle to askSingapore [link] [comments]
I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be in our 40s or approaching 40 as single and childless in Singapore. It's a topic that doesn't seem to come up often enough, so I wanted to hear from you all.
For those of us in this age group, how do you feel about not being married and childless? In Singapore, there's this strong expectation to settle down and start a family by a certain age. But life isn't always so straightforward I guess, too many curveballs.
I always thought I'd have a future with someone special by now. But things didn't turn out as planned. Had my share of relationships, and honestly, most of them didn't end well. I think I have a very people-pleasing trait that attracts a lot of energy vampires and narcissists and I tend to ignore red flags. However, I've learned a lot from those experiences and can see things more clearly now. Now, I'm feeling pretty jaded about the whole dating thing imho
On top of that, I'm of Indian and Eurasian ancestry, and our communities here are quite small. This makes the peer pressure even more intense. It feels like everyone knows everyone else's business, and there's this unspoken expectation to hit certain life milestones. While I'm not really feeling FOMO, it's tough being surrounded by people who think that getting married and having kids is the epitome of success.
I've noticed that some of my friends who are single and childless seem to be leading very mundane, Groundhog Day sort of lives. It feels like they're just going through the motions, perhaps to avoid thinking about what they might be missing.
Another thing that scares me is the number of divorces happening around people in this age group. And this is very hard to say, but while I was dating in the last few years, I came across so many married men on these sites in their 30s and 40s. Even friends who are married with kids behave like they're single. It makes me feel like they aren't fulfilled in their marriages and are looking for something else or just variety. I don't know, but it scares me a lot.
So, how do you deal with these societal expectations? Have you found fulfillment in other parts of your life? How do you balance personal happiness with all the external pressures?
Would love to hear your wisdom and experiences. Let's support each other and share some advice!
2024.05.19 05:51 whatthefruits Need help on assessing essay - test is tomorrow and I wanted to see how I would fare
Hi all,
My GRE Test is tomorrow, and while I believe I'm pretty ready with regards to verbal and quant, I don't know how I currently fare with my essays, and wanted to see what someone more experienced with the GRE would rate my essay. Attached below is the prompt, and the essay.
Greatly appreciate the help!
Conditions: Timed. Completed in 29m27s.
Time distribution:
Planning - 5min
Intro - 6min
Body - 4min each
Conclusion - 3.5min
Check - 3min
Prompt:
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Essay:
While we may often state that society is filled with varying cultures and idiosyncrasies, as the number of people we account for increases, these idiosyncrasies get lost in the hubbub of major cities as statistical noise, in favor for a set of united defining traits. It is hence apt to state that the most important characteristics of a society – the fundamental pith of what makes a society unique from other such groups - would be concentrated in major cities. To that end, I believe it is important to study major cities of a society to understand its most important characteristics, especially with their impacts in the fields of cultural shifts, technological development, and economics and manufacturing.
It can be said that major cities are in essence a hodge podge of the cultures of not only those native to such major cities, but also of outlying towns – migratory flows, for a pithier term. As such, it is important to take note of such migratory flows and how these affect the characteristics of a society – especially in the socio-psychological aspect of human interaction. The city of Madison, Wisconsin, for example, often accentuates the rather special mix of modern liberal values with conservative hospitality, and this is conferred to the metropolitan, major city of Chicago. In this respect, the effects of the city of Madison has had a pronounced effect on the characteristics of its surrounding cities, which in turn leads to ripple effects to society as more people migrate from such outlying cities onto more metropolitan areas.
However, we can certainly say that these effects can also be seen in the major cities as well. In fact, the concentration of cultural flows and the incidence of cultural Zeitgeists in major cities are often much more frequent, rapid, and integral to understanding society as a whole. Significant changes in lifestyle in major cities such as Seoul and Tokyo have strong ripple effects to the cultural mindset of young people even in cities outside of Tokyo and Seoul, and are hence significantly more reflective of society as a whole. For a more specific example, dating culture in Tokyo has recently worsened, with increasing ubiquity of egregious cases of compensated dating, and this has had ripple effects on young people dating less in say, Kanagawa Prefecture. In Seoul, an increased focus for feminism has resulted in a greater career thrust in young women throughout Korea. Changes we see in major cities often permeate into outlying cities, and are hence reflective of a society.
Additionally, advancements in science and technology are often developed in major cities, especially with the availability of infrastructure, the pool of talented people migrating to such major cities, and the general culture for science and technology. A local example of this would be California – the posthumous Silicon Valley – and Hsinchu, Taiwan – a semiconductor fabrication hub. These major cities pool talent and infrastructure, allowing for major developments in science and technology ranging from Lithium-ion battery and its applications in advanced consumer goods such as electric cars, to developments in Artificial Intelligence technology, to even the coveted membrane technology used for environmentally friendly separations and hyper-selective energy-conservative manufacturing. As major cities are often major science and technology hubs which significantly drive progress in society, it would be remiss to ignore the forest for the trees, and it would hence be important to redouble our efforts into better study major cities.
Finally, it is also important to recognize that major cities are often economic and manufacturing hubs. Cities like New York and New Jersey – with its long history of a robust financial district and historic manufacturing hubs alike – are often the backbone by which most of America runs. The stock market is an inextricable part of daily life in America – with the rapid corporatization of America, the stock market presents an opportunity for not only social mobility, but also business ventures one would normally not expect. New Jersey – as a major manufacturing hub – has many integral industries that it supports, ranging from the medical devices industry, to semiconductor metrology, and to even large volume manufacturing of general goods such as toilet paper, bamboo chopsticks, and metal and wood polishing. Noting the importance of such hubs and the societal implications of the fluctuations that affect such hubs, it would, once again, be putting the cart before the horse to focus on outlying cities with less of an impact on society as a whole.
In conclusion, while I understand that it is important to also study flows from outlying cities to understand the characteristics of a society as a whole, it is much more prudent to extract this information in its concentrated form, by examining major cities instead with a fine-toothed comb. With that in mind, I believe it is extremely integral that we study a society’s major cities to better understand what a society stands for.
submitted by whatthefruits to GRE [link] [comments]
My GRE Test is tomorrow, and while I believe I'm pretty ready with regards to verbal and quant, I don't know how I currently fare with my essays, and wanted to see what someone more experienced with the GRE would rate my essay. Attached below is the prompt, and the essay.
Greatly appreciate the help!
Conditions: Timed. Completed in 29m27s.
Time distribution:
Planning - 5min
Intro - 6min
Body - 4min each
Conclusion - 3.5min
Check - 3min
Prompt:
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Essay:
While we may often state that society is filled with varying cultures and idiosyncrasies, as the number of people we account for increases, these idiosyncrasies get lost in the hubbub of major cities as statistical noise, in favor for a set of united defining traits. It is hence apt to state that the most important characteristics of a society – the fundamental pith of what makes a society unique from other such groups - would be concentrated in major cities. To that end, I believe it is important to study major cities of a society to understand its most important characteristics, especially with their impacts in the fields of cultural shifts, technological development, and economics and manufacturing.
It can be said that major cities are in essence a hodge podge of the cultures of not only those native to such major cities, but also of outlying towns – migratory flows, for a pithier term. As such, it is important to take note of such migratory flows and how these affect the characteristics of a society – especially in the socio-psychological aspect of human interaction. The city of Madison, Wisconsin, for example, often accentuates the rather special mix of modern liberal values with conservative hospitality, and this is conferred to the metropolitan, major city of Chicago. In this respect, the effects of the city of Madison has had a pronounced effect on the characteristics of its surrounding cities, which in turn leads to ripple effects to society as more people migrate from such outlying cities onto more metropolitan areas.
However, we can certainly say that these effects can also be seen in the major cities as well. In fact, the concentration of cultural flows and the incidence of cultural Zeitgeists in major cities are often much more frequent, rapid, and integral to understanding society as a whole. Significant changes in lifestyle in major cities such as Seoul and Tokyo have strong ripple effects to the cultural mindset of young people even in cities outside of Tokyo and Seoul, and are hence significantly more reflective of society as a whole. For a more specific example, dating culture in Tokyo has recently worsened, with increasing ubiquity of egregious cases of compensated dating, and this has had ripple effects on young people dating less in say, Kanagawa Prefecture. In Seoul, an increased focus for feminism has resulted in a greater career thrust in young women throughout Korea. Changes we see in major cities often permeate into outlying cities, and are hence reflective of a society.
Additionally, advancements in science and technology are often developed in major cities, especially with the availability of infrastructure, the pool of talented people migrating to such major cities, and the general culture for science and technology. A local example of this would be California – the posthumous Silicon Valley – and Hsinchu, Taiwan – a semiconductor fabrication hub. These major cities pool talent and infrastructure, allowing for major developments in science and technology ranging from Lithium-ion battery and its applications in advanced consumer goods such as electric cars, to developments in Artificial Intelligence technology, to even the coveted membrane technology used for environmentally friendly separations and hyper-selective energy-conservative manufacturing. As major cities are often major science and technology hubs which significantly drive progress in society, it would be remiss to ignore the forest for the trees, and it would hence be important to redouble our efforts into better study major cities.
Finally, it is also important to recognize that major cities are often economic and manufacturing hubs. Cities like New York and New Jersey – with its long history of a robust financial district and historic manufacturing hubs alike – are often the backbone by which most of America runs. The stock market is an inextricable part of daily life in America – with the rapid corporatization of America, the stock market presents an opportunity for not only social mobility, but also business ventures one would normally not expect. New Jersey – as a major manufacturing hub – has many integral industries that it supports, ranging from the medical devices industry, to semiconductor metrology, and to even large volume manufacturing of general goods such as toilet paper, bamboo chopsticks, and metal and wood polishing. Noting the importance of such hubs and the societal implications of the fluctuations that affect such hubs, it would, once again, be putting the cart before the horse to focus on outlying cities with less of an impact on society as a whole.
In conclusion, while I understand that it is important to also study flows from outlying cities to understand the characteristics of a society as a whole, it is much more prudent to extract this information in its concentrated form, by examining major cities instead with a fine-toothed comb. With that in mind, I believe it is extremely integral that we study a society’s major cities to better understand what a society stands for.
2024.05.19 04:49 TheMemery498 Nun order
If this mod exists, someone please direct me to it. If not, someone please make it:
The Order of the Virgin Mary
A holy order of nuns. It would only allow people with the nun trait (only women) to be leaders, heirs, commanders, courtiers, and the like.
Leader Name: Head Maiden
Gender Succession Law: Absolute Enatic
Succession Law: Elective Monarchy
Council: Empowered
Status of Women: Full
Church Rights: Full
Slavery: None
Centralization: Medium
Cultural/Religious tolerance: Medium
submitted by TheMemery498 to crusaderkings2 [link] [comments]
The Order of the Virgin Mary
A holy order of nuns. It would only allow people with the nun trait (only women) to be leaders, heirs, commanders, courtiers, and the like.
Leader Name: Head Maiden
Gender Succession Law: Absolute Enatic
Succession Law: Elective Monarchy
Council: Empowered
Status of Women: Full
Church Rights: Full
Slavery: None
Centralization: Medium
Cultural/Religious tolerance: Medium
2024.05.19 04:28 Holy_Tetractys Tserriednich may be Togashi's avatar for mankind
Not at all unlike Nietzsche's concept of the Ubermensch, I have reasons to believe that Togashi is trying to characterize Tserriednich as some kind of perfect specimen, the one that fully holds all the evolutionary characteristics that made human beings thrive both in-universe and in our own reality.
1) First of all, and most apparent, he completely transcends all morality. The only thing that grounds Tse is his public image as a prince. To me, this is extremely important because, as we've read in the Netero x Meruem and, more broadily, in a whole lot the series subtext, mankind's propensity for cruelty, misery and just overall malice is directly tied to it's ability to thrive, to adapt and most importantly to maintain balance. We've seen that Netero and co. only were able to defeat the ants once they embraced this "evil" side of humanity, ironically, by detonating the "inhuman weapon". It's a lesson that our strongest trait as a species was not Netero's spirituality in the form of his nen, but his willingness to surrender himself to his primal instincts of... just wanting to inflict pain on everything around him.
To me, Togashi views morality with the cynical (and correct imo) view that it is more of a thing to be imposed by the elites on the base of the pyramid (by means of religion and other ideologies), to keep them in control, while the elite compete among themselves by resorting to every mean they deem fit. However, it's precisely this struggle among the elites that also helps mankind as whole to evolve, be it in spiritual or technological terms, with our cruelty evolving alongside our intellect.
Within this context, is Tserriednich really doing anything wrong as a human in the position that he enjoys? Yes, he turn women into "art'', but unfortunety to us, that has no relation to his adaptabilty to his enviornment whatsoever, it might even be benefitial for him. Remember: we've seen "good" rich guys like Battera or Light Nostrade being completely decimated by their circunstances later down the road precisely because they wereweak, I mean, "good".
2) He is seemingly the most intelligent human character in the series thus far and has more potential than anyone else. This one may or may not be a hot take, but it's clear to everyone that he's an intellectual, someone who, like Ging, rapidly masters and even improves every area of knowledge that he gets interessed in with an almost childlike obsession, and this list of interests now includes nen. He is ruthlessly cunning, as if he sees things as they should be/the end result of processes even when he receives the most basic information about said subjects. Maybe when he is turning people into "art", what he is thinking is that he is extracting from that person the maximum amount of worth that person would ever achieve in their lives (kinda like a tldr of the person in a murderous way). This is important because as we all came to know, his nen ability is tied to this deductive reasoning,only this time, it's not limited to just objects and persons, but to whole segments of space and time. I mean... not even Neferpitou came up with such an elegant ability in such a short amount of time exposed to nen.
submitted by Holy_Tetractys to HunterXHunter [link] [comments]
1) First of all, and most apparent, he completely transcends all morality. The only thing that grounds Tse is his public image as a prince. To me, this is extremely important because, as we've read in the Netero x Meruem and, more broadily, in a whole lot the series subtext, mankind's propensity for cruelty, misery and just overall malice is directly tied to it's ability to thrive, to adapt and most importantly to maintain balance. We've seen that Netero and co. only were able to defeat the ants once they embraced this "evil" side of humanity, ironically, by detonating the "inhuman weapon". It's a lesson that our strongest trait as a species was not Netero's spirituality in the form of his nen, but his willingness to surrender himself to his primal instincts of... just wanting to inflict pain on everything around him.
To me, Togashi views morality with the cynical (and correct imo) view that it is more of a thing to be imposed by the elites on the base of the pyramid (by means of religion and other ideologies), to keep them in control, while the elite compete among themselves by resorting to every mean they deem fit. However, it's precisely this struggle among the elites that also helps mankind as whole to evolve, be it in spiritual or technological terms, with our cruelty evolving alongside our intellect.
Within this context, is Tserriednich really doing anything wrong as a human in the position that he enjoys? Yes, he turn women into "art'', but unfortunety to us, that has no relation to his adaptabilty to his enviornment whatsoever, it might even be benefitial for him. Remember: we've seen "good" rich guys like Battera or Light Nostrade being completely decimated by their circunstances later down the road precisely because they were
2) He is seemingly the most intelligent human character in the series thus far and has more potential than anyone else. This one may or may not be a hot take, but it's clear to everyone that he's an intellectual, someone who, like Ging, rapidly masters and even improves every area of knowledge that he gets interessed in with an almost childlike obsession, and this list of interests now includes nen. He is ruthlessly cunning, as if he sees things as they should be/the end result of processes even when he receives the most basic information about said subjects. Maybe when he is turning people into "art", what he is thinking is that he is extracting from that person the maximum amount of worth that person would ever achieve in their lives (kinda like a tldr of the person in a murderous way). This is important because as we all came to know, his nen ability is tied to this deductive reasoning,only this time, it's not limited to just objects and persons, but to whole segments of space and time. I mean... not even Neferpitou came up with such an elegant ability in such a short amount of time exposed to nen.
2024.05.19 04:12 pizzapillowfort FMH Master Doc
The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches
The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended
Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after he asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22
submitted by pizzapillowfort to findingmrheight [link] [comments]
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)
- Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
- I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
- All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
- I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
- Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
- And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!
- Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
- Trouble
- Waffles
- Future Husband Brian (FHB)
- Cookie
- Peter Pan
- Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
- Bad Bitch Man
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”
Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok
The TravelerHe was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)
Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021
The BoomerangFirst date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”
Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches
The SchmoozerWent on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches
The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”
2022
The DiscoballMatched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO
Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022
Captain Kirk5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended
Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back
2023
The FalconFirst date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after he asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’
2024
Pie Guy/Dr. LaundryMatched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22
2024.05.19 02:26 BoxPrevious1508 A co-worker asked me to be her sperm donor
The most bizarre thing happened to me yesterday.
This is a throwaway account because this story has to do with a co-worker. Several co-workers and I have Reddit account and often post on subs related to the industry we’re in and I don’t want them to see this.
Yesterday, a female co-worker asked me to be her sperm donor.
I’m friendly with this woman. I like her. I think she’s genuinely a sweet person who takes her job seriously and is good at what she does. I don’t think she always gets a fair shake at work or is taken seriously some of the time due to her appearance and some might say flirty behavior. I don’t know if she’s trying to be flirty or if she’s just one of those super friendly people. There’s nothing crazy about her appearance or anything, she’s just objectively attractive. I’ve heard guys make inappropriate sexual jokes about her. There have been rumors about her hooking up with multiple male colleagues. There was even a rumor that she and I were having an affair at one point, which had no merit. I’ve never slept with this woman or done anything sexual with her. I find her attractive and admittedly sometimes I do have to force myself to maintain eye contact with her when she’s talking to me. She wears revealing blouses sometimes. I’m a boob guy, so I’m just being honest here. But I’d never pursue anything like that with her. I’ve only ever acted respectful towards her.
I’ve been divorced for about 2 years. I’ve dated some since then, but nothing serious that I want to commit to. I have kids with my ex-wife.
So she told me she needed to meet to discuss something important with me. I’m a director and she’s a manager, separate departments - I’m not her supervisor. My department handles some things for her department and I know she’s been having trouble with somebody on my team. I assumed that’s what she wanted to talk about.
Instead, she took me out to lunch to give me this big speech about why she wants to be a single mom and why she wants me to be her sperm donor! I was literally speechless. It was obvious she’s been thinking about it for a while. She’s even consulted a lawyer about the logistics of ensuring that a sperm donor of her choice could be guaranteed to not be held legally responsible for the child. She tried to assure me that she wouldn’t expect anything from me, she doesn’t want any involvement from me, and we wouldn’t have to tell anyone. We could even have actual sex if I wanted to do it that way, or we could be more formal about it, depending on my comfort level.
I mean, it’s bizarre and was very uncomfortable, but at the same time strangely flattering. I didn’t say no right away. I haven’t actually told her no at all. I mean, inside I was yelling no way, but why didn’t I actually tell her that? Maybe I just wanted me ego stroked a bit more, idk.
Of course I asked her why me. She said I’m nice, she likes me, I don’t treat her like a lot of the guys we work with. She thinks I’m “normal,” healthy as far as she’s aware, and she likes my physical features. But she’d want a full health history on me and my family before moving forward.
I asked her why she didn’t go to a sperm bank. She said that’s what she initially planned to do when she started seriously thinking about becoming a single mother, but once she started delving into it she discovered that there are many ethical issues with sperm banks. Shes been talking online with several women who have used known donors and has decided that’s the way she needs to go. She thinks I’m a good fit because while we’re friendly, we’re not friends, we don’t hang out with each other, we don’t know each other outside of work. She feels she knows me well enough to determine she likes me and certain traits/characteristics, without having to worry about it being weird because I’m not a close friend or somebody that would be around her family or friend group at all. Plus, I’m divorced now so there no spouse or partner to have to deal with.
She said she could always leave the company before anyone would possibly realize her kid looks like me if I’m worried about that. She feels she’d probably have to leave to avoid things being weird between us. She’s been studying for some sort of certification in hopes of finding a more specialized job anyway, she claims. We live in different cities, so our lives are totally separate outside of work.
I felt like it was a prank or hidden camera thing. Truly one of the most bizarre and unexpected things to happen to me. But when I googled “coworker asked me to be a sperm donor” I was surprised to find out this is far from an isolated incident. What’s even more bizarre is after reading some of these other stories, I’m not 100% about saying no. I mean, I’m about 90% sure I’ll say no. I felt bad telling her no on the spot and intended to let her believe that I was considering it over the weekend since I got the impression she had spent so much time thinking about it and rehearsing what she was going to say. But now I actually am finding a tiny part of myself considering it and I almost can’t believe myself.
Anyone ever been randomly asked to be a sperm donor before??? If you actually said yes, why? Did it work out in the end or become a legal mess? And no, I’m not seeming actual legal advice from Reddit.
submitted by BoxPrevious1508 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
This is a throwaway account because this story has to do with a co-worker. Several co-workers and I have Reddit account and often post on subs related to the industry we’re in and I don’t want them to see this.
Yesterday, a female co-worker asked me to be her sperm donor.
I’m friendly with this woman. I like her. I think she’s genuinely a sweet person who takes her job seriously and is good at what she does. I don’t think she always gets a fair shake at work or is taken seriously some of the time due to her appearance and some might say flirty behavior. I don’t know if she’s trying to be flirty or if she’s just one of those super friendly people. There’s nothing crazy about her appearance or anything, she’s just objectively attractive. I’ve heard guys make inappropriate sexual jokes about her. There have been rumors about her hooking up with multiple male colleagues. There was even a rumor that she and I were having an affair at one point, which had no merit. I’ve never slept with this woman or done anything sexual with her. I find her attractive and admittedly sometimes I do have to force myself to maintain eye contact with her when she’s talking to me. She wears revealing blouses sometimes. I’m a boob guy, so I’m just being honest here. But I’d never pursue anything like that with her. I’ve only ever acted respectful towards her.
I’ve been divorced for about 2 years. I’ve dated some since then, but nothing serious that I want to commit to. I have kids with my ex-wife.
So she told me she needed to meet to discuss something important with me. I’m a director and she’s a manager, separate departments - I’m not her supervisor. My department handles some things for her department and I know she’s been having trouble with somebody on my team. I assumed that’s what she wanted to talk about.
Instead, she took me out to lunch to give me this big speech about why she wants to be a single mom and why she wants me to be her sperm donor! I was literally speechless. It was obvious she’s been thinking about it for a while. She’s even consulted a lawyer about the logistics of ensuring that a sperm donor of her choice could be guaranteed to not be held legally responsible for the child. She tried to assure me that she wouldn’t expect anything from me, she doesn’t want any involvement from me, and we wouldn’t have to tell anyone. We could even have actual sex if I wanted to do it that way, or we could be more formal about it, depending on my comfort level.
I mean, it’s bizarre and was very uncomfortable, but at the same time strangely flattering. I didn’t say no right away. I haven’t actually told her no at all. I mean, inside I was yelling no way, but why didn’t I actually tell her that? Maybe I just wanted me ego stroked a bit more, idk.
Of course I asked her why me. She said I’m nice, she likes me, I don’t treat her like a lot of the guys we work with. She thinks I’m “normal,” healthy as far as she’s aware, and she likes my physical features. But she’d want a full health history on me and my family before moving forward.
I asked her why she didn’t go to a sperm bank. She said that’s what she initially planned to do when she started seriously thinking about becoming a single mother, but once she started delving into it she discovered that there are many ethical issues with sperm banks. Shes been talking online with several women who have used known donors and has decided that’s the way she needs to go. She thinks I’m a good fit because while we’re friendly, we’re not friends, we don’t hang out with each other, we don’t know each other outside of work. She feels she knows me well enough to determine she likes me and certain traits/characteristics, without having to worry about it being weird because I’m not a close friend or somebody that would be around her family or friend group at all. Plus, I’m divorced now so there no spouse or partner to have to deal with.
She said she could always leave the company before anyone would possibly realize her kid looks like me if I’m worried about that. She feels she’d probably have to leave to avoid things being weird between us. She’s been studying for some sort of certification in hopes of finding a more specialized job anyway, she claims. We live in different cities, so our lives are totally separate outside of work.
I felt like it was a prank or hidden camera thing. Truly one of the most bizarre and unexpected things to happen to me. But when I googled “coworker asked me to be a sperm donor” I was surprised to find out this is far from an isolated incident. What’s even more bizarre is after reading some of these other stories, I’m not 100% about saying no. I mean, I’m about 90% sure I’ll say no. I felt bad telling her no on the spot and intended to let her believe that I was considering it over the weekend since I got the impression she had spent so much time thinking about it and rehearsing what she was going to say. But now I actually am finding a tiny part of myself considering it and I almost can’t believe myself.
Anyone ever been randomly asked to be a sperm donor before??? If you actually said yes, why? Did it work out in the end or become a legal mess? And no, I’m not seeming actual legal advice from Reddit.