My primary diagnosis is Crohn’s Disease, but unfortunately I have an atypical presentation of Crohn’s, which gives me chronic cervical lymphadenopathy — painful lymph node inflammation in my neck, which results in a referred headache that can be anywhere from dull all day to searing from the moment I open my eyes until I go to sleep. The lymph nodes also hurt.
My Crohn’s took about 1 year from first symptom (which was actually my lymph node inflammation) to getting my GI symptoms under control, but so far my doctors haven’t been able to make any progress with the lymphadenopathy.
I’m beyond grateful to have the GI under control, but I have been on oxycodone for almost 6 months to help cope with the pain of the lymphadenopathy. As of yesterday I have finally been moved off of Oxy and onto Codeine, which is a huge improvement but still leaves me with some pain, and the stress of always being dependent on pain management.
When you finally get referred to a pain management doctor, it’s almost like realizing your doctors are giving up. I’ve seen or had consults from dermatology, ENT, infectious disease (right at the start), GI, Neurology, Oncology and Rheumatology. I’m probably missing one or two.
I’m so frustrated, I feel misunderstood, not only by doctors who seem to have no clue what to do, but by friends and family who don’t know how to navigate this or how to treat me when I have constant pain — of course, the family over at chronicpain are definitely where I feel pretty at home.
Where I get saddened and frustrated is that the typical pain patient, which I basically am a pain patient now, is typically experiencing back and nerve pain, or some kind of arthritic pain. Even my pain management doctors, who aren’t responsible for or care about the underlying cause, said to me “wow, you’re a complicated case”
I just don’t fit anywhere. I’m constantly in pain, or feeling the (unwanted) high from pain pills. I’m chasing answers and no one seems to have them. I have to fight insurance to allow me to take the medication I need and see doctors who might be able to help. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to give up and just stay with pain management or advocate for myself and keep looking for doctors until someone gives me an answer.
I’m sure there are worse problems, and I just wanted to rant, but these are the only problems I’ve had and so to me they feel like a lot. Thanks for reading! I’m hoping for more answers soon.

I have migraines with aura, and I also get tension headaches. I also suffer from CVS AKA cyclic vomiting syndrome. Sometimes, a wonderful ( Obviously sarcasm) combination of both , called a mixed tension migraine with aura. As well as near constant pain from all my other health issues. Including pain from numerous surgeries, etc.
I do take rizatriptan if it's only a Migraine with aura . I also have promethazine oral and suppositories if I'm also having nausea and vomiting, or if I'm in a cycle of my CVS. But I also have fiorcet with codeine and 5 mg Valium that I take if I'm having a tension Migraine or a delightful ( Once again, sarcasm.) Mixed tension Migraine with aura. As well as numerous other health issues to the point that I'm almost always in pain.
I am blessed to have an absolutely amazing primary care dr who also suffers from mixed tension migraines, so he knows exactly what I'm going through. So, I'm able to get my desperately needed medications from him instead of pain management or a neurologist.
But , in all honesty, I am blessed because I have amazing, i.e., very expensive, private family insurance. I pay a ton for it every month , so I'm sure this helps ! It is an absolute necessity for my child and I to have very good health insurance due to my health history.
I have a history of ovarian and cervical cancer. DVT blood clots, ( which I currently have 3 in my left arm, diagnosed after extensive imaging less than 11 days ago . Which they're guessing this time , that they're from a combo of laparoscopic surgery, plus my blood clotting disorder) last time I had 2 DVT blood clots , 1 in my arm , 1 in my leg from they're guessing , a combo of my blood clotting disorder plus IVF medications .
This led to pulmonary embolism twice in 2021, ( while undergoing IVF, thankfully, before my FET ) 1x before being in the hospital and then again while in the hospital.
I also unfortunately have 47 different severe allergies , some to food , medications, and different environmental factors , think animal dander, pollen, bee stings etc ( most of which are anaphylactic reactions), a rare blood clotting disorder which led to 11 miscarriages and 3 late term losses. As well as adenomyosis, endometriosis, severe stomach bleeding, uterine fibroids, Nonneoplastic polyps in my colon, diverticulitis, obviously migraines with aura and mixed tension migraines, tension headaches, CVS AKA cyclic vomiting syndrome, severe insomnia , anxiety. ( which , duh, look at my health history)
I was also in a devastating car wreck when I was 7, which left me in a coma for 13 months . I've had surgery on both shoulders twice, 4 times on my right ankle, and numerous other surgeries.
I also , after having an emergency c section due to a placental abruption at 31 weeks with my son . I then ended up having severe postpartum hemorrhage and sepsis 7 days later due to the on call dr leaving a piece of my placenta inside me ! ( I had to be admitted to the hospital , thank goodness it was the same hospital that my son had been transferred to because they had a level 4 NICU . The hemorrhage also resulted in me having to have blood and iron infusions numerous times . I also have the BRCA Gene 1 & 2 , an immediate family history of colon cancer and breast cancer, as well as AML AKA acute myeloid leukemia. Heart disease and numerous others.
I once semi jokingly said to my PCP ( primary care provideDr), do you ever get the feeling that God is trying to take you out ? Because it feels like that to me, lol . Being the absolutely amazing Dr that he is , he said , he's not trying to take you out , he's just showing/proving (to) you how strong and resilient you are. He has amazing things for you in the future ❤️ Sorry this was so long ! I didn't realize how long it was going to be !

Hello
25F, 130lbs, 5’10”, no tobacco, MMJ user, hydrocodone and oxyxodone as needed, cyclobenzaprine, protonix
If you read this thank you so much because I’m absolutely desperate and my doctors are tired of me and I think they think I only want pain meds. I don’t, I just want to feel better. I have a huge stash of emergency oxycodone anyway so I barely even need them for that.
On 12/15 I fell down the stairs and hit the lower of my middle back quite hard. 12/19 I had a LEEP done, 01/06 I came down with extreme urinary issues and between then and now have been back 6 times, seen 4 specialists and have seen my PCP at least ten times for urine samples. I’ve also only been able to attend my full time job for 43 days so far this year and have no more money for copays and if it weren’t for my ADA paperwork, I’d have been fired a long time ago
Over the last two weeks, it’s been taking me up to two hours to produce urine while having a full (and very sore - mostly left side) bladder. This is infuriating. When I do end up finally feeling the need to release, I have less than 3 minutes to get to a restroom before my vision starts going spotty from the bladder pressure pain.
My urologist ordered a cystoscopy, but has been blaming my 3mm kidney stone until I begged for an ultrasound last month of my bladder. Found bladder wall thickening and bladder cyst / possible urachal remnant.
I found out what Cuada equina is today. I learned that it is very very commonly missed. I can barely walk, and at the music festival I went to over the weekend I had to use ADA for just about everything. I look completely normal so I got judged pretty hard, but I do have paperwork. I have been losing weight without much diet change and my back has been killing me as well. I feel so weak. My urine flow is so small compared to what it used to be. I had a period of time where the pain was so bad, I couldn’t feel my clitoris or labia at all so sex was pointless as well, and I thought I’d lose my relationship and be alone forever. They send me to an OB-Oncologist who said not to come back, which is why my urologist finally agreed to check my bladder.
Is it possible that all my issues are related to the cyst and thickening, or could this be cuada equina that was missed on multiple CT’s? I can’t find info on bladder cysts. using retention. When is the appropriate time to go to the hospital? I can barely walk without pain meds. I urinated about 40 times on Saturday, with my usual being 10-20 times, and some days there’s very little pain or urgency at all, but the retention is almost always there to some extent.
It almost feels like the part of my brain that controls my bladder doesn’t work anymore because no matter how hard I tell my bladder to release, it just doesn’t happen sometimes and I can’t get comfortable after that. I’ve slept a total of 4 hours since Saturday morning and I only have one hydrocodone left. Pyridium does NOTHING except for when burning pain presents, and I can’t take NSAIDS until my GI clears me due to extreme gas, constipation and bloating / belching thought to be caused by peptic ulcers. I can’t walk at this point without pain meds, but the ER always releases me with the same DX of cyst and bladder wall thickening and tells me they have no clue what that means. But I’m in so much pain I feel like there has to be something they can do other than give me fluids and monitor me for an hour or two until I can get to my cystoscopy next week.
If you have any advice for me I really appreciate it. I don’t want to die but I feel the only way out of lifelong urinary pain after 6 months now is suicide. The only time suicide doesn’t cross my mind a couple times is when I do end up having to take a pain pill. In March, I had to take oxy every day. I only take them now when I can’t walk because the effects are too strong for me to keep my life in order while taking them every day. But this weekend I have had the most trouble walking, and using the restroom, since all of these issues began.
I can’t afford any more specialists visits after my procedure, so I really wish the ER could do something for me as they’re the only ones who won’t turn me away for not having money at this point. My GI doc actually canceled my appointment because I don’t have $20 and I’ve been putting off another ultrasound because it’s $200 up front. IDK what to do but I’m pretty sure this is how a lot of people end up on fent and heroin - if I had been denied pain meds this far I would have turned to the streets, and that’s coming from someone who has chosen - on their own - to quit most drug related and extracurricular activities to better their life at a young age and is much happier for it.
I can’t even get the ER to catheterize me when I can’t urinate for 6+ hours at a time. What gives? Why won’t they run a different imaging test? They wouldn’t even give me a breath test for h pylori recently and now I’m waiting a month for an appointment I can’t even afford.
TL;DR extreme bladder pain, nobody understands why, extreme difficulty urinating, ER can’t do anything for me and awaiting surgery. Is there anything I can say or do to get proper medical attention or can the ER really not touch your bladder like they say? Is there a way I can convince them to admit me so I could see a urologist before my procedure? My urologist is unavailable until my follow-up and I don’t think the company they work for allows them to Rx narcotics and I’m against taking more than 1 oxycodone a week at this point but so far have been unsuccessful in getting something weaker like hydro or tramadol.

Traveling to Colorado for business in a couple of weeks. Won’t have an opportunity to acclimate slowly. Will be drinking lots of water, etc. but any other advice?
I don’t know how sensitive to altitude I will be but since I get pressure headaches from weather I’m assuming it will be similar. Probably will need strong sinus medicine and I’m hoping my usual meds (Nurtec, ubrelvy, magnesium, riboflavin) will help keep me stable because I literally can’t go rest in bed for the whole week that I will be there. (Expected to be an active participant)
Second question: if you’ve had an altitude headache, did Nurtec or ubrelvy help? My doc is hesitant about prescribing actual pain meds (I used to have codeine as a rescue but now every doc is scared to prescribe it) but I don’t know if I should push him on it? IMO it’s reasonable to ask for 5 pills just in case I need them since this is an unusual situation and not something that I can change (I didn’t choose this as a vacation, it’s a mandatory business trip).

FINAL EDIT: He was given 7 years and a 6 year driving ban. the crown was seeking 7.5, the judge explained all the factors and legal things that constrained her from giving him a higher sentence, but that this was one of the higher sentences than other cases like it. and she acknowledged that no amount of time would be enough. it was tough, but at least he will serve some time for what he did. thank you everyone who has commented
Hello, a man drove while impaired and killed 2 friends of mine 2 years ago. today and tomorrow we are in court for the sentencing.
He waived his right to a jury and is being charged with two counts of dangerous operation causing death, one count of dangerous operation causing bodily harm, and one count of refusing a blood sample.
the crown is going for 7-10 years, so my question is, can the judge over rule that sentencing length and give him 25 to life? Dangerous operation causing death holds a max sentence of 25 to life, but can a judge make the decision to go against how many years the crown is going for and give him more time?
Thank you
Edit: I should have added more information about his past offences and the facts of the case. that is my mistake. he has prior convictions for violent and non-violent offences, has been to jail before, and was actually out on bail at the time of the crash for a prior violent offence. he was under the influence of alcohol, Tylenol 3s (with codeine), non-prescribed doses of hydromorphone and oxycodone as well as he snorted fentanyl while driving. he pulled over before continuing to drive before he hit them and refused to blow at the scene. he was going around 197km when he killed them. he initially pled not guilty but later changed his plea to guilty.
thank you for all your comments so far. we are hoping the judge sets a precedent with this case and gives him the maximum penalty. today we read victim impact statements and 70 were read in court, more than 80 were submitted.

People always talk about "gateway drugs" and weed or alcohol is brought up. What people rarely talk about is codeine which is an opioid like heroin.
I know so many people who have an issue with Nurofen Plus and Solpadeine and given how much it's increased in price over the last few years, I'm surprised the temptation to turn to heroin isn't more common here like happens in America with oxycodone.

I had my first surgery (double incision, no nipples) on January 5th and immediately developed a hematoma on my left side. Exactly three weeks later on January 26th, I had another surgery, this time for an emergency infection on my right side (a complication that has a <1% rate). During those weeks, I was checking this subreddit a lot to see if there was anything similar and for any ideas on what to do. I figure that my experience might be helpful for people.
Here are some things I wish I had known to do.

1. First of all, make sure that you have the right support in place for if you run into a <1% complication.

Everyone I met on the surgical team was very optimistic about my surgery and said repeatedly that the chances of any complications were very low because I was young and healthy. I believed them and did not prepare myself for the mental reality of having to basically throw away 2 months of my life due to a rare complication. I have never wanted breasts from the moment I started developing them, but had I known that I would have such a rough recovery I would have opted against the surgery and dealt with the low level dysphoria (about a 3/10 on the average day, spiking to 7/10 occasionally) for the rest of my life. This is not to say that I am unhappy with the outcome; indeed, the surgery completely took care of my chest dysphoria. I just personally wish that someone had walked me through what the rare complications could be like, how long it would likely impair my functioning, and asked me to weigh that against my dysphoria. Instead, everyone I talked to, including my friends (2 of which were medical students), basically told me that the less than 1% chance wouldn’t happen. Unfortunately for me, it did happen. So just remember that rare complications happen to someone and try to set yourself up to catch any problems immediately as they arise.
If you have any mental hang ups about asking for help like I do, it’s really important that you ignore that feeling and “bother” people. I put things off because I felt guilty about taking time out of my sister’s day to go to appointments and I was worried that I was asking stupid questions to the surgical team. Due to my history of overreacting about small health issues, I felt embarrassed and decided to bank on being part of the 99% that do not need emergency surgeries. Don’t do that. Buy a thermometer and a pulse oximeter so you also have concrete points of reference for when you feel off. For a pulse oximeter, I got the ChoiceMMed since it has good reviews on Amazon.
Try to handle any health problems you’re aware of before your surgery. I suspected I had sleep apnea, but didn’t manage to get my results from my sleep test before my surgery. If I had done it months ago and gotten a mouthguard it would’ve made sleeping post-op easier.
Prioritize your surgical appointments above any other routine appointments. I didn’t do this and missed a chance I had to potentially treat the infection earlier.

1. Be prepared to send a lot of messages to your surgical team and to call the help line.

Related to the paragraph above. My surgical team had a portal online where you could send messages. Get help taking photos and send them in with the message before you call the help line so that they can see them. In the early days of recovery it also helps to take photos every day in the same position so that you can easily compare and reference how much swelling there is. Take off your binder when you take photos. It’s not very useful if they can’t see the actual incision site, and I made this error in the beginning.

1. If you’re prescribed Oxycodone, ask to also be prescribed Zofran and take that before. Don’t take Oxycodone on an empty stomach.

After my surgery on January 5th I felt fine and without nausea. I went home and took Tylenol and Ibuprofen. Then 9 hours after my surgery I took Oxycodone and spent hell in nausea. I didn’t realize what was happening to me and thought maybe it was delayed effects of the anesthesia, so I kept taking Oxycodone and abiding by the suggested dosage schedule. It was nearly impossible to get up and I couldn’t walk more than a few steps from all the nausea. My sister called the help line and got me prescribed Zofran, but what really helped was stopping the damn Oxycodone. Unfortunately, being nauseous during this time also made my hematoma harder to handle because I missed the window for aspiration (more on this later). Nausea on Oxycodone happens to quite a few people — one of the nurses working with me in the ER right before my hospitalization and second surgery also told me that when she had tried Oxycodone she basically blacked out.
I was already extremely wary of Oxycodone after my second surgery on January 26th, but the pain wouldn’t go away and the nurses told me they could only give me Oxy since they already gave me Tylenol. I told them that it made me super nauseous, so they gave me a Zofran and reassured me that there was also anti-nausea medication in my IV. Well, none of that was enough. I started feeling nauseous again, though thanks to being in a hospital they could give me other anti-nausea stuff. I puked twice. The nurse taking care of me in the hospital told me that you should absolutely never take Oxycodone on an empty stomach — that’s the biggest cause of nausea with this medication. I still don’t want to try this medication ever again, but if I do I will heed her advice. Don’t take Oxycodone on an empty stomach. If nurses try to give you Oxycodone and you haven’t eaten anything ask them for a snack first at least.

1. Strip your drains at least 3 times a day.

The handout they gave me only said once a day, but after the emergency surgery they told me I should have been doing it at least 3 times a day (you can even do 5 times a day). It’s very important to get rid of any clots in there; not stripping it enough may have contributed to me getting a hematoma on my left side. It was also very hard for me to strip my drains myself, so my sister had to help me. I also suggest watching a YouTube video on how to strip them if the nurse doesn’t demonstrate for you after your surgery (mine didn’t). Make sure that you’re stripping it with the binder off and reaching as close to the entry point you can get. It’s hard to do because it takes more force than you’d expect. You might want to apply pressure on the drain at the top against your skin while your support person figures out how to strip them without yanking it out of you or slipping and hitting you in the side.

1. If you know you’re allergic to adhesives, ask for something different rather than surgical tape.

There’s about 1% of people who get a rash from surgical tape. If you have eczema like I do, it’s far more likely. I’ve had bad reactions to band-aids I left on for longer than a few days, so I felt like this was a complication that might happen to me. Regardless, I had never had surgery before. After 10 days, I had a lot of red bumps that first appeared on my stomach and then continued to spread. Anti-itch cream, steroid cream, and Benadryl did nothing. I was told to take the strips off. I took one off the left side by myself, but the process made me feel so nauseous I couldn’t do the other side. The nurses are much better at taking them off and have special solutions so I would actually recommend waiting for your post-op. Regardless, by the time of my appointment the bumps on the left side looked better than the right. I was marked as having an allergy to 2-Octyl Cyanoacrylate (Dermabond), which is apparently what they use on the strips to make them stick.
After my second surgery I had the misfortune of developing more red bumps, this time starting on my chest and spreading up and down. The cause for this one was harder to tell since we had avoided the adhesive strips this time (opting for Xeroform, but they told me to stop using that too just in case). Possible culprits: the antiseptic they wash you with before they start the surgery that causes the orange residue; the leftover tape on my sides holding the drains down; antibiotics I was put on for my infection (first Bactrim, then Augmentin, then back to Bactrim after they confirmed my bacteria cultures). They cleared me to wash early to try to get the antiseptic off, but I didn’t take multiple showers since showering with two drains (they put my right one back in after the second surgery) was taxing after a hospitalization. They gave me Hydroxyzine that I was taking 4 times a day (and feeling very tired due to it) but it wasn’t doing anything on its own, so eventually I got taken off of antibiotics early. They told me that they had already gotten the infection out during the surgery and the antibiotics were just for safety.
Things I have learned from this: In terms of OTC, Benadryl is apparently stronger than Loratadine. Also, creams apparently don’t work on rashes when they’re in the early stage of popping up, so you’ll need a strong antihistamine.

1. Get another binder or multiple ace bandages (the wider the better). Binders that go over the shoulders offer more support.

The binder they put on me after surgery both times was from EaB Medical. This binder only goes around the chest and not over the shoulders, though they do have straps that you can attach to them. I really recommend using the straps if you have this binder since it keeps it from slipping down. Having good compression is really important in the early days. You can also use ace bandages but it can be hard to tell how tightly to bind them, and they tend to stretch out after washing. Either way, you should plan on having more than 1 binder / bandages so you can swap them and wash them. Due to my situation I ended up binding for 9 weeks.
I tried to get a binder from Underworks, but the small was too small for me and the medium was slightly too large. If you want to buy from them you may want to ask them how exactly their sizing works. After my second surgery I was a 33” circumference but couldn’t make the sizing work. If you can spend the money, it’s probably a good idea to get the $100+ ones from Marena. Maybe if I had had a binder that went over the shoulders it would’ve helped get more of the fluid out from my first hematoma.

1. If you notice swelling with a lot of fluid, get seen within the next day or just go to the ER.

Hematomas are more common than you would think (way more common than infection). Anywhere from something like 5~30% since there are no real comprehensive estimations. If you can push against your skin and feel fluid jiggling in there it needs to be removed. If it’s accompanied by a lot of bruising it’s a hematoma. In my case, I developed disproportionate swelling on the left side after my first surgery that just kept increasing for 3 days. It was even bruising above the binder they gave me. I wasn’t using the straps for the binder at the time, so the only feedback I got from the nurse hotline when I called was that the binder was slipping and I should pull it up.
The reason why the nurse hotline didn’t really help me was because I didn’t take photos with the binder off (partly due to the terrible nausea I was dealing with from Oxycodone). The other reason is that my first surgery was on a Friday and the surgical team was off during the weekend. If I had taken off my binder for the photos and the nurse had actually gotten ahold of the plastics team, they probably would have told me to go get it drained.
My first post-op was 4 days later, so I thought I could just wait until then. That was wrong. Despite putting out 50cc and then 55cc in the drain on the left side during the first two days, by the third day it had dropped to 5cc. Either due to not stripping the drains enough, having compression that wasn’t comprehensive enough, or just being super duper unlucky, the hematoma decided to coagulate. At my post-op, I was told that because it had solidified it couldn’t be aspirated, and thus I would have to have the drain in for “as long as possible” and that I would be dealing with this zombie-looking dried blood-filled boob (like the size of a tennis ball) for at least 3 months and it would likely take 6 months to resolve itself. There was literally nothing that could be done. Or so I was told, but during my second surgery they took the opportunity to also figure out how to aspirate it, so it disappeared and healed faster than the right side.
In short, if you are swelling with a lot of fluid you need to be seen as soon as possible before it coagulates or becomes infected. You can tell because it will be way too big and will move like liquid is in there (before it coagulates). You may have to aspirate multiple times, but I didn’t have to deal with that in my situation. But I’m also the only person I know who had the whole thing coagulate.

1. Fevers can be cyclical. Chills are when you can’t stop shaking.

I did not know this. I also did not have a thermometer because my family is lax about health. All I knew is that I started to feel so cold I couldn’t stop shaking and do anything but lie in bed for 2-3 hours warming myself up, and then I would feel so hot that I had to get out of bed. This was fever and a fluctuating temperature. This was also my first signs of infection on my right side and I didn’t know it. No one in my family knew fevers don’t have to be constant. If this happens to you, call your hotline right away. The shaking is different from normal shivering; it feels more violent and you can’t will yourself to stop the way you can stop smaller shivers.

1. If there’s a lot of redness and the area continues to increase in size it’s probably an infection.

I thought I only had my left hematoma to worry about. Well, I started experiencing the chills and fever but I didn’t know what it was. My right side was looking pretty good in comparison to my left. After the drain on that side was removed though, it started to swell. And it swelled much, much slower than my left side. It also had a spreading redness (no bruising). After a few days, pus was coming out the drain hole on the right side and it wasn’t closing. I didn’t realize for sure if it was pus or not because it didn’t smell, and even the surgical team wasn’t sure. I sent photos of the area and they told me it might just be the normal amounts of swelling that happen after the drain is removed and that the pus might not actually be pus if I didn’t have other symptoms (I did. I had a fever, but didn’t realize it). I was also unlucky enough that my next post-op appointment had been 2 weeks after the last instead of the usual 1 week, due to the doctor being out. They had offered me the chance to see another doctor that week to make up for it, but I said no (this was before it started swelling). After I sent pictures in, they offered for me to come in something like the same day to aspirate the liquid, but it was literally at the same time slot I had scheduled a phone call with my PCP to renew some of my prescriptions and I didn’t want to keep bothering my sister with a surprise visit so I said no. This was the wrong move. See point 7. Always get the fluid removed. And don’t skip weeks in post-op appointments in the early stages.
I went to urgent care instead and they confirmed it was an infection and then gave me antibiotics (Bactrim). It seemed to help initially, but after a few days on that my right incision suddenly started spewing pus. The pus still didn’t smell, but the volume was continuous. I got told to go to the ER and had to have an emergency surgery.

1. Go slow on tapering pain medication, especially if you still have drains in.

I ended up being on pain medication for 6.5 weeks. I had seen some people say that they stopped needing painkillers as early as 2 weeks post-op, so I tried to taper with that in mind. I started out with 2400 mg Ibuprofen + 2000 mg Tylenol a day at staggered intervals after giving up on Oxycodone, and by post-op day 8 I managed to cut out Tylenol entirely. I tried to go further by decreasing Ibuprofen by about 600 mg a day, but on post-op day 9 I was hit with a searing 8/10 pain in the left side of my chest that felt like I was being stabbed.
I had been looking at intervals of 6 hours since that’s about the window of effectiveness for Ibuprofen, so when I survived taking only 300 mg in one 6 hour interval I thought that meant that I could do that for all 6 hour blocks after that. Well I guess pain medication also has a cumulative effect since that didn’t work. And then the pain started getting worse on my right side with the growing infection, so I ended up going back up to 2400 mg Ibuprofen + 2000 mg Tylenol until I was hospitalized.
At the hospital, they stopped giving me Ibuprofen since they were worried that it can thin the blood and therefore contribute to swelling. I was on 4000 mg Tylenol at the hospital and after, and they also gave me 300 mg of Gabapentin though I stopped it after 3 days in case it was contributing to my rash. (They also gave me Oxycodone again, but I ignored it and didn’t take it.) After I stopped taking Gabapentin, I decided to decrease 250 mg of Tylenol a day, and only if I felt that I wasn’t in too much discomfort (discomfort can easily turn into pain without medication).
There had been a spot in my left chest (where I had felt the stabbing pain) that hurt more than the rest of my chest ever since my first surgery on the 5th. I had thought that this was due to the hematoma on the left side, but it persisted even after the area had been aspirated, and I felt a hard lump in the location. I thought it might be a seroma, so I made an appointment with my post-op doctor. It turned out to be the drain; something about its positioning had really made things painful (and even more so when I had the hematoma). After it was removed the pain in that area decreased drastically and I was able to slowly transition off of Tylenol 250 mg a day.
My doctors kept underestimating the amount of time I would be dealing with pain (usually by a week+). Trust your sense of pain and go slow.

1. Make sure you’re hydrated and have had something to eat before getting your drains pulled.

I had to get my drains pulled 3 times, twice on the right since they put the drain back in after the second surgery, and once on the left. The first two times went without incident; didn’t even feel a thing. The third time, though, was really early in the morning, and as a late waker I didn’t have water or anything to eat. My blood pressure that day was low due to this, even though it had been normal in all my other appointments. After they pulled the right drain for the second time, I started feeling extremely nauseous. They gave me a damp, cool towel to put around my neck and laid me down at an angle that had my head below my shoulders until I felt better. So just be aware that this can happen if your blood pressure is low.
That about covers the things I wish I had done differently. Below are some other random useful tips that aren’t related to hematomas and infection. Hope any of this proves useful to someone else.
Miscellaneous tips:

1. My surgical team had a habit of just waiting for questions from me instead of offering me information. If you need questions to ask your surgeon for pre-op, here is a link to a google doc that had my questions. If your surgeon gives you a packet of information beforehand, some of this might already be answered.
2. My surgeon said to take “small sips of water” up to 4 hours before my surgery, but the anesthesiologist told me to drink more because it helps to be hydrated to get the IV in. So I woke up 4 hours before to chug water for this reason as I have small veins.
3. If you have worries about possibly having sleep apnea, it’s probably better to get intubated for the surgery so your throat can’t constrict around the tube. I have light sleep apnea when I lay on my back. Get tested before your surgery if you’re worried about it. If it’s significant you should figure out whether you need a machine (and which one you can tolerate, since CPAP tends to be too uncomfortable for most people) since you’ll be sleeping on your back for a while and the back is the worst position for sleep apnea.
4. They will ask you to take a pregnancy test before surgery to make sure you aren’t pregnant. If you are sure you aren’t pregnant, you should be able to say no and sign a form saying that you neglect to pee in a cup (or have blood taken for this). They didn’t tell me this the first time I had surgery, but the nurse I had with me the second time was really nice and let me know I didn’t actually have to do this. I personally am asexual and have never had sex, so obviously this test was a waste of time for me anyway.
5. If you have foot pain due to something like plantar fasciitis, get a small pillow to put under your legs (I often readjust where exactly I put it while sleeping) since you have to sleep on your back for a while. I often had to move the pillow up and down to take pressure off my heels. After about 7 weeks of this I had to just start sleeping with my heels hanging off the edge of the bed in addition to the small pillow.
6. Advocate for yourself in hospitals. The hospital I was at didn’t coordinate their blood draws and so I was stabbed something like 5 times in a single day, mostly for single tests. After I complained to the nurse and my surgeon, the blood draws were stopped entirely since the last results looked okay. I was told by the nurse that it tends to be haphazard for the first day, after which they usually figure things out enough to group blood test requests all at the start of the day for every day after. But I was already required to be poked in both arms to even get admitted, and I had done a blood test for my surgeon earlier that day to confirm I actually had an infection, so adding 3 more to that (for a total of 6, 5 in the hospital) was really just too much. You can refuse and you can probably demand that they group the tests earlier on.

Ok so first, a little autobiography that no one asked for — you can scroll down for the question and Tldr:
So about a year ago I had developed a life threatening complication while visiting my mother’s family in another country and had to undergo a very invasive emergency Hartmann procedure that left me with a stoma for a few months prior to reversal.
During my time at the hospital I also had began having seizures and hallucinations, all due to the fact that I was unknowingly dependent on Alcohol.
Society tends to make it so accessible and acceptable I never thought about the fact that I had a drink in my hand, whether a beer or a whiskey almost every night.
Recently I had been educating myself more and more about neurosciences and biology. Initially so I could learn about what was to understand how alcohol that can effect neural wiring (GABAA modulation and Glutamate surges) but it developed into a genuine interest where I now find myself reading medical journals and Studies even when taking a sh*t — something I will never take for granted again!
When I recovered from my first surgery, I began being very vigilant on my drinking habits (it really wasn’t hard as i never developed an emotional or psychological dependence or attachment besides taste + the withdrawal experience helped).
Although, when I was discharged I was dealing with really bad mental state (I’m bp2 and have GAD accompanied by Panic Attacks & dissociative disorder & ADHD so I was also prescribed Benzodiazepines since 11 years ago at age 14 (which they gave me at the hospital after that seizure though they still carried on).
But it was immensely exacerbated when all my ‘friends’ had left/stopped talking to me because no one wanted to be with the Substance Stoma Stud™.
And my family was growing distant for similar reasons. Even had all three of my siblings physically attack and assault me because i suggested we make mimosas for a special family brunch.
Getting back to my ‘home’ country where medications that would be considered ‘narcotic’ or anything that changes your perception is scarce due to people’s abuse of them… I remember getting all 4 wisdom teeth excised kn one session and being ‘prescribed’ Ibuprofen.
So even a basic post-op pain reliever is impossible to get. I got a one month supply of solpadien but the caffeine affected my sleep and codeine made me constipated (in the country where I did the operation I had to cycle codeine or tramadol and pregabalin for the pain.
Then I found herbalism and was immensely fascinated by the cornucopia of bioactive compounds and their wide range of uses. Initially it was herbs for anxiety snd sleep (Gabaergic herbs) to help lower my benzodiazepine doses.
Then i began exploring an array of herbs and botanical from nettle and maca to corn silk and Jatamansi.
I started off just buying capsules, then upgraded to making teas and blend from dry herbs, and then was buying tinctures, and then (because I had bottles of vodka in hadn’t touched yet since the shit show — pun intended) I decided to make my own tinctures.
Now I do this thing which is where my question for yall and my reaching out for your insight/experiences and knowledge begins.
I always made and preferred my tea to be very strong/medicinal. After finding out and reading about percolation method of making tinctures i thought, what if i did something similar?
So I mix my usual anxiety or sleep blend of herbs with just enough solvent (alcohol) to get them “wet” letting it sit for 10-30 minutes then poured my hot water over that and letting it steep as I usually do (i don’t know if thay would be percolation in of itself, but to my understanding percolation requires ghat i slowly pour more solvent after a 12-24 hour soak).
And let me tell you, the tea is STRONG. Like, skullcap easily replaces and feels akin to a high dose of benzodiazepines (which I’ve only taken twice or thrice in my life as I don’t want to be that guy that ruins a needed medicine for myself and others). Which makes sense considering baicalein has an affinity ti a2, a3, and a5 Benzodiazepine sites, subunits of GABAAR. Now add some Passion Flower and Lemon Balm and my brain is buzzing! Like a good strong kava minus the nausea and horrible taste instead it’sreplaced with another unpleasant taste that doesn’t numb you to it 😅.
I understand this is not something to be doing consistently with Gabaergic herbs. But it’s just as effective with almost all herbs such as mullein, raspberry leaf, nettle, Rose, Burdock, Cohosh etc. next i wanna try Lion’s Mane.
As a plus the boiling water and letting it steep gets rid of almost if not all the alcohol.
Has anyone done this before or do this with their teas?
TL;DR: After undergoing a major emergency surgery and experiencing severe physiological and psychological health issues, I’ve shifted my focus to herbalism, exploring the effects of various bioactive compounds in herbs.
Recently, I’ve been experimenting with a modified percolation method to make very strong herbal teas.
Has anyone else tried this method? Please share your experiences and professional takes. Thank you & Blessings 🙏🏽

I’m F16 and have had relatively bad periods since I was 11, ever since I was 15 they have gotten so bad that I just have to lay in a dark room and groan all day for days.
Ibuprofen and paracetamol have barely helped and the only medicine that helped me was the maximum dose of Codeine which was prescribed for a few days for my wisdom tooth removal. Obviously Codeine is an opiod so I can’t take it long term and also the doctors are not going to give it to me again, I feel like they just don’t believe me.
Anyways, my last around 7 periods have been extremely bad and I can’t do anything, my latest period which I’m having right now has become so unbearably painful I don’t know what to do, It hurts to laugh and cry, to shift in position or walk anywhere and it hurts so bad to go to the toilet. Last night it was so bad I had to go to the Emergency Room but they couldn’t find anything life threatening so they sent me home with more ibuprofen.
I’m also in constant pain btw it just gets so so much worse on my period, I have to constantly use a heating pad which has also given me not very good burns on my stomach
This is getting to the point where it is as painful if not more than when I had appendicitis and had to get it removed, I don’t know what to do and my mum won’t take me to the doctor because she thinks they won’t do anything, she also is strongly against any other pain medications that aren’t over the counter.
I have a gut feeling that something is really wrong and I don’t know how to get people to listen to me when I say that! any tips would be helpful!
So! sorry I’m rambling I’m just wondering if this could be endometriosis and like how painful it can be because this is some of the worst i’ve experienced ever. I’m really sorry if this is hard to read I’m just panicking a little and need help 😭💗

Proof read, edited, and formatted to hopefully be easy for The Trip Keeper to read on YouTube.
A lil about me: I have a family history of schizophrenia with two people in my family being diagnosed. I think that's why psychedelics hit me like a train. I know I'm one of the folks they say shouldn't tripping but I've already done it and I am not stopping anytime soon. I'm quite the spiritual hippie type. I live for the esoteric, bizarre, and werid side of tripping. I'm also quite experienced with psychedelics and drugs in general having tried alcohol, cigarettes, vapes, kava, Kratom, weed, oxycodone, hydrocodone, percocet, Hospital Morphine, Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse, Conserta, Nitrous, Acid, Shrooms, n-BOMEs, Synthetic shrooms, random Acid non n-BOME RCs, Hydroxyzine (only snorted while drunk), Phenibut, Promethazine w/o codeine, blue lotus, and a bunch of random herbs and nootropics.
A little context to story, I had got some liquid Acid dropped on Bottle Caps Candy from a family member we'll call R. R had called me up informing me he had liquid LSD and to bring a chalky candy when I came to pick it up. He dosed the candy in another room when I picked them up. When he brought them back there was a thick layer of liquid struggling to absorb into each hit so we smooshed another piece on top of each one, 3 tabs altogether. He told me each one was an equivalent of 2 to 3 hits of high quality LSD. I also hadn't tripped in 6 months at this point but that's a story for another sub. Though the reason why didn't have much to do with tripping itself nor anything fun like psychosis.
A couple days later I found myself with my bills caught up, a slow night on Doordash so no work, extra money, weed, some cigarettes, and my roommate was out visiting Family. I had showered and ate some Chinese before taking a short nap. When I woke up it was around 9pm, obviously already dark outside. I was in a good mood, had nothing to do, and didn't want to go back to sleep so I slapped an LSD bottle cap on my tongue and went for a walk.
One of the pieces dissolved really quickly, like less than a minute quick, while the other piece took atleast 15 to 20 minutes fully dissolve. I was slightly nervous about tripping the days prior and was even a lil scared before placing it on my tongue; but, that fear was completely annihilated when 5 to 7 minutes in I felt this electric tingle that started in the back of my head go down my spine. I started smiling, feeling super happy, and chilled out when the tingle reached the base of my spine. I thought to myself, "Wow, I can't believe I was scared to trip again, I feel amazing right now!!" I lit a cigarette and enjoyed my walk for awhile until I started coming to the end of a col-de-sac, the street I was on was on a downward slope I think this affected things but the end of the col-de-sac and the houses started stretching super tall and became super thin kind of like a fun house mirror. I was completely mesmerized by it till I was interrupted by this electric beeping that made my skeleton nearly jump out of my skin. I had looked over and saw this gray box with 2 pink lights on it sticking out of the ground and assumed that's where the beeping came from. I then straight sprinted home cause I wasn't sure if it was hallucination or not. I did go back a few days later and couldn't find the box.
After opening my front door the night is hard to remember linearly but I will try my best. I don't have the texts anymore from this night since I got a new phone. Once I got back home, I had to use the bathroom so I went did my business but while washing my hands I looked in the mirror and noticed my pupils are starting to look a lot like bowling balls. It was then, I noticed the reflection of the SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick on ketamine meme my roommate printed out and pinned on the wall. Their eyes were dilating more than normal and they were all swaying back and forth. I texted R to tell him I finally tried the acid and it's strong. It's roughly 10:40p.m. by this point, even though it had been 1 hour 40 minutes since dropping it had only felt like 30 or 40 minutes ago at the most. I was about to sit down and do a dab but I got a almost telepathic sense I was about to throw up rather than a physical feeling I was about to. After throwing up I texted R freaking out questioning if it was acid since it's not supposed to make you nauseous. He just told me "too much too fast" "calm down put your phone down and be safe". I didn't put my phone down.
I started finally doing some dabs after 2 or 3 big rips I looked over and saw 2 shadow people. One was a little girl with blonde hair, a yellow sun dress, no face, instead was an empty void. It was as if her head was an empty shell and her face was the hole. The other one was a middle aged man with short blackish gray balding hair dressed in overalls, no shirt, work boots, also no face. The second shadow person looked a lot like one of my deceased uncles. They didn't feel menacing or demonic nor even holy as one would expect an encounter of this type. I got up and walked to my kitchen probably to get water but I got distracted by a third shadow person who was a woman but I didn't get too good of a look before being distracted by my thoughts. I started stretching and thinking to myself, "well atleast the dark isn't so scary anymore compared to being schizophrenic" at the time it did feel very profound aswell as I am now genuinely less scared of the dark. There's also cardboard cut outs of the Elysian Full Haze and Full Contact IPA cans hung up in my kitchen. People were walking in and out of the giant head on the Full Haze poster, I thought they were sacrificing themselves to the massive head. Thought the dude on the Full Contact poster was holding my brain aswell.
I remember it was around this time the body load and vasoconstriction was getting so intense that my arms and legs felt lankier than normal and my jaw felt like it was wired shut. I drank some water and brought a glass back to my room. When I came back the ocean thunderstorm tapestry above bed had the clouds and ocean actually moving with the lightning striking. I have string lights behind that tapestry that wrap around to the conjoining wall. The string lights looked like technicolor rainbow stars forming beautiful constellations. Normally, they are only blue, yellow, green, red and twinkle but during the trip some were changing colors to pink, purple, violet, orange, and more colors that don't exist. While the tapestry was animated, it had no sound. There's a framed painting of a deer in a forest during the sunrise on the same wall. The light in the painting was actually coming through the painting as if it was a window with sunlight shining through. The deer even had his head down grazing when normally he has his head turned towards the viewer of the painting. I layed down and decided to throw on some music. I couldn't decide on a song, I hit skip on Spotify at least 30 times before settling on Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb, cliche I know, but they're one of my favorite bands and usually seem to find me when things start getting intense on psychedelics. I couldn't actually read anymore so I only knew it was Comfortably Numb by the hook and album art.
As I layed in bed I started stretching out and looking around the room. I finally started to relax a lil and calm down from thinking these were possibly nBOMes. I started to really lose myself in the trip. The slight movement of my air mattress made feel like I was floating on the ocean sea, which gave way to a euphoric sense of oneness and that I am an ocean of pure consciousness. The string lights above my bed were twinkling and reflecting slightly off the ceiling. The reflections were blending with the moving geometry on the ceiling. Next, I looked up at my Pokémon 20th anniversary poster. It was a bunch of black and white silhouettes of starter Pokémon from the first five or six gens with the ones in the middle being colored and shaped like Pikachu's head. Every silhouette was pulsating and almost bubbling.
At one point, I watched this abstract splatter colored tapestry for what felt like two hours, in reality it was probably only 30 or 40 minutes at the most. There were rotating hexagonal and octagonal pillars shooting out of the tapestry between the pillars it appeared to boil, the bursting bubbles had sparks flying off of them.
I can't remember exactly when this happened in the night so might as well stick it here. While hanging out in my bedroom, I got up to do what else but smoke more dabs. I did multiple in a row where I would do the whole ritual and forgot I had done so and follow it up with another. While sitting there, I light a cigarette to pass time and to just smoke more while conserving a lil on the wax. On my second or third cigarette in a row I started thinking to myself out loud that, "Ya know, Family Guy is right!! Vaping does look pretty fucking goofy. My twin flame out there probably thinks vaping looks goofy as fuck!! And smoking might look cool to some bitches but they give you cancer and shorten your life. It's less money for weed and psychedelics. I think after tonight I'm done smoking forever." I chain smoked a few cigarettes.
I think this is when I started hearing voices in my head. I was hearing random YouTubers, friends, celebrities, family members, and other random voices saying random words over over again. I truly thought I was hearing my sleeping neighbors' thoughts. I genuinely believed I had Telepathy. The only words I could make out vividly; however, was The Trip Keeper saying, "Gassid" over over like it was a soundbyte looping. At the time I took this as a sign to do Nitrous with Acid and that there was something spiritual I needed to see/experience from it. I was right, however this wasn't the night I did that combo as I had no nitrous at the time and it's an equally crazy experience but shorter story. I'm planning on posting that experience soon, also DO NOT huff nitrous it actually KILLS your brain cells.
Thoroughly freaking out again about hearing voices. I start frantically texting R, however I can't remember what for though. I even vividly remember asking R what would happen if I took more phrasing it "will things get more colorful or last longer?" He never responded. Since I couldn't read I was using speech to text to text R. I also had got up to pace through the house. Ordinarly, I would've left to go on another walk but I had convinced myself if that I had left again one of my cats would get out of the house and somehow I'd get arrested. I look up from my phone to notice a swirling florescent neon colored vortex of geomtry in the middle of my living room. The vortex started swirling towards me and started to suck the words out of my mouth. I saw the phrase ,"The only words that make sense are the ones I say out loud" get sucked out of my mouth by the vortex in bubble letters that distorted and mixed with geometry. As the bubble letters got closer to center of the vortex they would distort super cartoonishly, individual patterns and a mix of colors appeared over each letter. The vortex itself had a wigwag shape to it. At the time I thought in my head, "Damn this is what Jerry Garcia probably ment by "Steal your face right off your head"". I actually attempted to draw this out later on. See the drawing here if I can get imgur to work. I don't really remember turning the lights on all through my house but I vividly remember all the lights being off when the vortex stole my words. I don't remember how the vortex incident ended just that next all I know is all the lights are on suddenly and I'm walking out of my bedroom. It's probably 3 or 4am at this point cause I started hearing my neighbor cough and going in and out for cigarettes the rest of the night. I had laid my recliner, the voices had stopped but that was replaced with an intense loud buzzing inside of my head. I had my head on one of armrests, legs hanging off the other armrest, chair reclined, facing the wall. I was watching the logo on my clawhammer wall flag drip like white blood. My cats, of which I had 10 at the time, 5 being kittens still nursing, were running back and forth and playing with each other. Below the wall flag is a table with a wooden CD tower, my cats Cinderella and Oreo had jumped on the table at the same time. Completely in sync and as one fluid motion they stood up, turned to look at me, arched their backs, and sat down. Their coats were flowing and Cinderella had extra golden stripes in her fur. They stared deep into my eyes for a long time and were trying to ask me telepathically if I was doing okay. I more or less alternated between laying on the floor and my recliner for the next couple hours.
Every now and then I'd hear my neighbor out front coughing. I was debating whether or not to go talk him and wait for the sun to come up. Normally, I would've put on a show from myself at various points through the night but I had no internet at the time.
As the sun was starting to really come up and I was starting to really come down, I went outside and talked with my neighbor for awhile. Told him about my night, he's actually a little bit of a hippie too. I walked to the gas station to get some food. I felt like a zombie the whole way there and back. The light made my eyes sizzle like bacon on the Texas pavement in the middle of July. It felt like my brain was a steaming bowl of scrambled eggs. My jaw felt like I got my shit rocked by Mike Tyson. I came home, ate my powdered donuts despite only being able to taste it's texture which was low-key wigging me out, and watched either Space Ghost Coast to Coast or The Trip Keeper on my phone till I passed out.
The next morning (afternoon), my dad picked me up and we hung the whole day while I recovered and slowly returned to feeling human again. I bummed a cigarette off my dad and decided while smoking it that it was my last cigarette. I actually quit all nicotine for a month and half after this night. I started back up purely because of a bad (tested real) Acid/Nitrous Trip.
I do wanna add while not using nicotine I had vivid dreams about smoking cigarettes and vaping. Keep posted for the follow up stories about my bad Acid/Nitrous Trip, Smoking Dreams, and Snorting Hydroxyzine with Alcohol cause I bet The Trip Keeper wants to hear that last one.

Age 18 Sex Female Height 5’7 Weight 160 Race White and black Duration of complaint 1 day Location Body Any existing relevant medical issues No Current medications None
So basically I had 100mg of oxycodone at once and chewed and was totally fine. I just felt drowsy and my liver hurt a little and I couldn’t sleep because whenever I tried I woke back up because my breathing would stop.
I read that that is a high dose for people intolerant.
I previously have taken 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 pills all at one time in that order, each time only like once. So last time I did it, a week ago, I had 60mg. I jumped up to 10 pills at 100mg
I don’t understand how I’m still alive. I feel great. And I should mention that when I only took 3, that was the most effective and strong experience I had with the oxys.
Note that each pill is 10mg of oxy and 325 Tylenol Also, when I said I took 123456 I mean once I took a pill and chewed it, and worked up to 6 pills at once and chewed it.
My specific question is how I built up tolerance so quickly or if that is normal at all that I did not die?

Content warning: anti-trans rhetoric

There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
-- Proverbs 6:16-19 (NIV)

So the religious zealots at Family First are flapping their lying tongues again with their seemingly annual collaboration with polling firm Curia. They have published their latest poll "‘Gender Affirming Treatment’ Poll April 2024". You can expect to see press releases and the quoting of these statistics in lazy journalism as they were last time.
This post seeks to analyse the questions and results to illustrate the dishonest framing designed to produce the results that Family First need to try and gather support for opposition to gender education and trans healthcare in New Zealand.

Question 1: Gender education in primary school

"Do you believe that primary age children should be taught that they can choose their "gender" and that it can be changed through hormone treatment and surgery if they want it to be?"
This question takes a lie misconception (that RSE involves telling kids they can choose their gender) and presents it as if it is part of the curriculum or guidelines. They know that most people will read the question and assume that it is an honest representation of what is being taught. And anybody who does know what is being taught should oppose it because that's not how gender identity works.
Summary: Dishonest question leads to dishonest results

Question 2: gender identity/sexual orientation teaching

"Would you support or oppose a law that prohibits primary schools from teaching any sexual issues, such as gender identity or sexual orientation, in the classroom as part of the curriculum in primary schools - that's ages 5 up to 10 or 11 unless parents specifically opt their children into these classes."
This question also relies on respondents not knowing the curriculum or guidelines, but also uses what I'll call "bigot triggers" to try and throw out all primary school sex education including issues like consent, tricky adults etc. on the basis that sex education might include education on sexuality or gender identity. It also equates sexuality and gender identity to push the idea that existing in a gender identity is an overtly sexual act.
Summary: baby out with the bathwater with bonus misinformation

Question 3: Puberty Blockers

"The UK health service (the NHS) has stopped the use of puberty blockers, which begin the gender transition process, for children under 16 as it deemed they are too young to consent. Do you support or oppose a similar ban in New Zealand on the use of puberty blockers for young people 16 or younger?"
As Chloe would say, there's a lot to unpack here so I'm resorting to bullet points

• Appeal to authority (the UK NHS)
• Dishonesty: The NHS has only stopped prescribing blockers to trans kids. They remain the recommended treatment for precocious puberty and other conditions
• Dishonesty: Blockers aren't banned and remain available from private clinics (apparently not, thanks to WrenchLurker for the correction)
• Dishonesty: The stated reason isn't about consent, rather an assertion that the evidence of their benefits is not of sufficient quality. There's a whole 'nother posts worth of material on this and the Cass Review so I won't expand further here.

Summary: trust colonial Daddy but don't look too close

Question 4: Banning trans healthcare for minors

"Some people have proposed banning puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and physical sex-change surgeries for children under the age of 18 who identify as transgender. Would you support or oppose this kind of ban?"
This question should have been 3 questions, one each for blockers, hormones and surgery. People are going to answer based on the most drastic intervention and all nuance is lost. It also fails to note that sex change surgeries are already unavailable to minors, and that it is next to impossible to get hormones under the age of 16
Summary: Some people have proposed banning Panadol, Codeine and Fentanyl...

Question 5: Medical or psychological intervention

"If a young person says they want to change their gender, should the treatment be primarily based on providing puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, or should the treatment primarily focus on dealing with the gender dysphoria and any other underlying mental health issues."
This is a false dichotomy. The framing of this question assumes that doctors are simply throwing medication at kids presenting with gender dysphoria. It's a fundamental misunderstanding of what gender-affirming care is. If blockers, hormones or even surgery are used, they are treatments for the dysphoria. But so is social transition. So is talk therapy that helps the patient explore their dysphoria. Gender-affirming care can be medical but doesn't have to be, and anybody with experience with this treatment in New Zealand knows that there are already strong safeguards around medical treatments and that nobody is handing blockers and hormones like candy.
The "underlying mental health issues" is just an attempt to say "trans kids are trans because they were abused", or "trans kids are actually just confused gay kids"
Summary: should doctors stop doing something they're not doing

Question 6. Funding of adult trans healthcare

"Do you think the taxpayers should fund surgery or hormone treatments for adults who wish to change their gender?"
Again, this one sends the message that treatment is currently funded. There is some funding for hormones & surgery. Funding for hormones is negligible compared to the funding of hormones for treatment of menopause etc. Funded trans surgery covers a few operations a year and has years-long waiting lists. The vast majority of NZ trans adults who require it fund their own surgery on the private market.
Summary: Should we make life harder for trans people

Conclusion

This is a methodologically bad survey, designed as such to promote an anti-trans agenda by Christian fundamentalists masquerading as concerned citizens. The results reflect the survey design more than they represent any actual community opinion about trans people and their right to education and healthcare. Curia should be ashamed to have been involved in this poll.
For any trans people who read this, know that this poll does not reflect how the wider community feels about you. You exist, you have the right to exist and seek healthcare, and for your existence in the tapestry of human life to be acknowledged in education and society.
For anybody else but especially those who claim to be allies, this sort of misinformation needs to be combated. If your friends or family are taken in by or spreading this nonsense and it is safe to do so, challenge it. If you need sources for anything I've raised here, ask in the comments or DM me.

My mom died Sunday due to cancer complications. Her cancer this time wasn't defined just that it was an aggressive reccuring cancer. It was stage 2 anal first, stage 3b endometrial cancer next and this time it was in her stomach and upper intestines. It took her in the matter of a week. She was suffering in the end, she couldn't drink or eat, or even be able to go up to the bathroom. She wasn't living she just wasnt dying. They had her on oxycodone and heavy duty nausea medicine, she wasn't in pain but she had no capacity to eat. She died in her sleep Sunday morning, I hope it wasnt painful, I hope she went peacefully. She isn't suffering anymore, I'll miss but I'm so happy she's finally free. Her funeral was yesterday. It went well. My sisters eulogy was beautiful. I still just miss my mom. I needed her help so bad today. I'm not strong enough. I'm not mad that's she not here, I'm happy she's at peace but today was horrible and I just wanted my mom to hug me.
My dad had multiple cancers. Skin, both lungs, liver and bone marrow cancer. He was diagnosed with lung cancer and January and then everything about a month ago. The doctor and him agreed no chemo ext just in home hospice. There's be no point with going through treatment, there's no quality of life with it. He was okayish before my mom died but as soon as I screamed in her room he changed. He lost the will to live. It's sounds cheesy and dumb but it's true. Death by heartbreak is real. He was holding on for her but as soon as she left he went too. She died on Sunday and in 10 days he was gone too. In the end he was hanging on by a thread. He wasnt there. He kept hallucinating that he was on old business trips. He kept yelling about a presentation he had to make about selling data storage for an old company he worked for called sybase. He kept yelling something about binary changes. I don't understand it, I wish I could have but I'm not into computers like that. He tried to explain things like that to me when I was younger and I wish I would have listened. But he didn't pass in his sleep, technically, but he wasn't there for it. My boyfriend and I had to spend the whole night rushing to help him because he would try and jump out of the bed and he would scream "help" at the top of his lungs. I keep hearing that over and over again in my head and I can't get it to leave me. We were doing the right thing, I know that but my dad was in pain. I keep seeing the face he was making all day. His eyes rolling into the back of his head, the gurgle his throat was doing, the twitches, the terrified look he had on all day. I know he wasnt in pain but I'm terrified to even think of what was going on in his mind. I hope he knew that we were helping him. I hope he can forgive me for failing him. This morning the nurse and doctor came and we decided to take him off every medication besides his liquid morphine. The nurse over night showed us that his fingers were turning gray already and that it was only a matter of time. He passed at 4:05 today. I didn't think he was going to pass, I went to get his medicine from the pharmacy and when I walked in and went to his bed he looked at me and then he died. It's not like how it is in the movies, the face doesn't become peaceful. He still looked like he was seeing hell itself. The nurse said it looked like he was waiting for me to come back so her could say goodbye.
I'm ten days I've lost essentially my entire family. My family only consisted of my mom, dad, sister, myself, 1 uncle from my mom's side and my grandma on my mom's side. The only ones left are my sister and I and my uncle. He's now recovering at my house because he had a massive heart attack in February. And my sister lives up north now so I'm legitimately all alone. I know I didn't fail them. I didn't cause them having cancer, I did my best to help make it easier for them but it's still hard seeing someone you've taken care of for so long die. Even worse when it's your parents. I'm trying to see if my therapist can put me in for an emergency appointment but for now I'm just hiding out. I just want my mom and dad so bad. I want to here they're bitching and yelling and talking about random dumb things. And I wish I took the time to learn my dad's job, I wish I listened to my mom when she tried to teach me to sew. I just miss them

Hello, I'm from Europe and I've been addicted to oxycodone. I was addicted to about 80mg a day taken several times either by insufflation or orally. I also had liquid oxynorm. I abused the medication for about 5 months. I got help from my psychiatrist in the beginning but he finally decided to give me a morphine substitute. He told me that methadone is a very strong product for the body and that subutex too. He said that in Switzerland we have "sèvre long", according to my information it is a complete agonist compared to subutex which is a partial with naltro. He said that's it's a better alternative.
Now what is the difference between takin extend release morphine vs methadone or subs for opioid disorder. And how it will affect me vs my consomation of Oxy. How the extend release gonna be calculated vs my oxy immediate release?
Thanks you very much in advance .

Hey everyone, 34F, long story short I tried Sertraline (Zoloft) at 50mg for 4 weeks but I’m extremely sensitive to medication (codeine is way too strong for me for example, makes me pass out from dizziness) so I found the physical side effects too much (amplified my health anxiety - I experienced everything possible with nausea, numb patches, pins & needles, burning skin sensation, 💩, muscle fatigue, insomnia…) so firstly I know I didn’t give it long enough for a proper trial period and not looking for advice on that :) before taking sertraline I had very regular BM’s - twice in the morning and that would be me for the day 😂 whilst on Sertraline I had the squits for the first week then it changed to this weird kind of like constipated but also got the squits?! And I developed upper right abdominal pain that felt like a stitch and was worse when I exercised. It then changed to a kind of transient stabbing sensation in different areas of my tummy - upper right then lower left then just random stabs in what I think is my intestines. Figured it must be gut related as I am also gassier so decided to taper off over 7 days by taking 25 for 5 days then 12.5 for 2 days then stopped. This was now 9 days ago and I still have the bloating, constipation, random tummy pains. Obviously having health anxiety I keep spiralling into thinking it’s pancreatic cancer or something terrible and sinister. I never had any issues prior to sertraline though…
Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar reaction and how long it took to feel normal again. I’m trying to stay off Google, I have found some scary Reddit posts on long term serious debilitating gut issues post an SSRI which naturally I am petrified has happened to me :/
I hope this doesn’t put anyone off trying Zoloft - that’s not my intention and there’s thousands of positive stories out there :)

hi everyone,
it’s my first time posting in this subreddit, I’m in communities on other platforms but I really need emotional and community support so I thought I’d post in a bigger group.
I’m from Chicago, but living in France and yesterday I had the worst medical experience I’ve had in a long time. For context, I’m 23f living outside of the states for 5 years with none of my medical records. Currently trying to get re-diagnosed in France for various reasons.
Yesterday I went to see my primary care physician. In France, to see a specialist and have it covered you need a referral, so I went to get one for a rheumatologist. After briefly speaking to my Dr, she proceeded asking weird questions about who first diagnosed me, where I first got prescriptions for other meds for other issues I have, etc. Right off the bat the interaction was strange. To make things worse, she’s hosting a medical student who was sitting in on the consultation.
After discouraging me from trying to see a new rheumatologist and telling me there’s no point in getting a diagnosis in France since there isn’t treatment for EDS, I changed the subject. I asked about going to a pain center so I can figure out a better treatment plan since currently I’m only doing exercises at home and taking tramadol when the pain or dislocations are so bad that I can’t walk anymore. She questioned why I would want that and once again said that I shouldn’t even try because the wait is up to 9 months for even one appointment and I would need to fight to prove my case and they only take people with ‘real’ pain… then she said she thinks I need to be seen by a psych.. I wasn’t really sure what she meant or why her attitude had suddenly shifted in such a condescending way so I continued to state that my pain is bad to the point where I’m unable to get out of bed some days and it’s affecting my life and school. She said, well you’re not even taking any treatment so why would you want to go to a pain center. I explained again that I do physio, take vitamins and I have emergency meds, in response to this she said ‘well if tramadol isn’t enough then why don’t we just start you on codeine?”. At this point I was shocked, I said back, “I’m 23, my pain will keep getting worse for the rest of my life and you want to start me on codeine for pain management? I don’t want to something so strong, I don’t want to get addicted.” To this she started questioning why I really wanted to be diagnosed. She asked if I was searching for financial gain. At this point I had started to cry a bit but I was still trying to hold it together. Keep in mind this is all in front of a student. I said I was just looking for help. She started speaking to me very condescendingly and said to me that she’d really like to hear from the rheumatologist since she didn’t get any news from him, and said to me that she hasn’t seen any evidence of EDS and needs to see imagery, my past medical records, etc. She said to me that I can be hypermobile without having eds and that in reality there’s no evidence showing anything. (I have done multiple X-rays and mri’s of my legs and wrists showing dysplasia, traumas from repeated dislocations, clear signs of issues in my ligaments and tissues as well as the results of two sets of major knee surgery on both sides). She told me straight to my face “I don’t think you have an issue with your body, I think your issue is psychic. You need to be followed by a psychologist.”
At this I started crying much more, I was really in shock by how she was speaking to me. I asked, “do you want me to pull my pants down and show you the scars from my surgeries? Do you want me to dislocate something in front of you here? I want to be re-diagnosed so that doctors stop talking to me like you’re talking to me now, so they don’t think I’m searching for drugs, so that when I go to the emergency room with a dislocation they don’t look at me like I’m crazy because I’ll have a diagnosis” and to this, she was smiling at me. Smiling as if she had proven I was crazy because I was sobbing…
I had no idea how to act, I was so stunned that this woman who I had trusted to be my primary care physician had suddenly spoken to me in such a way, I told her maybe she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be ill and have to fight for years to be diagnosed, and I didn’t know what her problem was but she should never speak to patients like that, then I left the office.
To make matters worse, this was all in my second language and I couldn’t express myself fully despite understanding clearly what she was saying. And to add to it, a medical student was sitting watching the whole thing unfold..
I don’t know how to act or react, I screamed at her that she was horrible as I left the office and had a panic attack as soon as I got out of the door. I’m all alone here in France and I felt so sad… I called my mom because she’s the only one who knows how much I’ve been through with this stupid disease but there’s not much she could do over the phone. I’ve dealt with doctors dismissing me, not believing me, thinking I’m just a druggie… but I’ve never had someone say to my face ‘you’re lying, you’re not sick, you need to see a psych’
I’ve been crying on and off and having bad anxiety attacks since it happened, I don’t know what to do or how to react. I really need support. I talked to my boyfriend about it and one of my friends but they don’t understand just how deep this hurt me. I really don’t know what to do, I’m so sad and so shocked and I just keep crying..

Canadian here - Ontario. Been suffering from really bad back pain since spring 2020 during an exercise class. Felt a pop in my back, a lightning bolt down my right leg and I fell to the floor. Couldn't walk or stand. Crawled to the front door and my boyfriend came and drove me home.
This was peak covid and it caused real issues receiving treatment. I could go to the emergency room or be seen by my doctor. She prescribed Tylenol with codeine over the phone. I bought a cane and my boyfriend made me a walker.
I wasn't able to be examined in person by a doctor for almost 9 months. They kept the codeine coing and started me on Lyrica, then Cymbalta. 10 months post incident, the Cymbalta started to provide relief - I sat for more than 5 minutes for the first time. I could drive my car for incredibly short distances ( 5 minutes to physio).
I was eventually referred into a spine clinic, where I had virtual assessments. I eventually was seen in person and about 18 months post incident had an MRI. It showed a disc with compression blamed on age ( mid 40s), a disc with 'spurs' and disc that appeared to be ripped or torn (likely due to the incident). I was told the MRI did not show impingement or any other issues that could cause my pain (I've since leaned our MRI machines are antiques, which might help explain the lack of ability to find anything)
A few months later I was sent for 'blockers', which were excruciating and caused a flare up that left me bedridden for about 10 days.
The drugs continue to flow.
A year or so later, I'm sent for a second set of blockers. This time they didn't hit the nerve. But also no improvement. A while later I get a 2nd Mri
At this point, I finally see a neurologist in ontario who reviews the 2nd mri who says there is nothing causing the pain I'm experiencing, that maybe some day I'll get a spinal stimulator impact thingee (technical term) and strongly implies I'm a drug addict. Thanks doc but if I wanted drugs I'd take the stronger stuff my GP is offering me or go to any barestaurant in my neighborhood to score.
I haven't worked a full day in almost 4 years. I can't exercise (I used to run, spin, yoga, weights, etc) I can barely walk now.
An American neurosurgeon was recommended to me and I recently came back from my appointment. I had a 3D MRI ( soooo cool. The pics are very clear) and a neurological consult.
The damage to the disc is so evident that even I, as computer nrd, looking at the image can say oh shit. That ain't right. The torn disc referenced in the original ottawa MRI appears to be a fracture. The disc is severely damage and looks like it's sort of withered up. American neurosurgeon says and I quite (how the fuck did this happen from a yoga class?!?)
Americans are suggesting a level 1 minimally invasive TILF, which I gather is a type of spinal fusion. It costs about 50K USD, which translates roughly to 68,000 Canadian schmeckles.
I'm incredibly angry that the glorious Canadian free Healthcare system says this isn't important- because I can still walk. Maybe if I was paralyzed they would care. Likely not. Our Healthcare is a joke if you actually need it.
68K is a tough pill to swallow, considering the taxes we pay. I'm lucky, I have a good job but that just means I pay more taxes. I'm not rich.
I'm curious about recommendations for private European hospitals that might specialize in neurosurgery.
There's a private british hospital in Lisbon I'm reading about. Things in Portugal are significantly cheaper over all (maybe surgery too). Currency exchange is definitely in my favor.
I guess I'm just dort of scrambling. Look for ideas, feedback, reassurance. I don't know.
Thanks in advance for any comments.

Hey all, I currently just turned 24 in March and I have been on In-center HD since middle of September last year (2023). I am going to a In-Center Davita Center 3 times a week 3 1/2hrs as standard. My story on how im on dialysis started out last September when I found out I had stage 5 End Stage Kidney failure. I had symptoms on going for at least 2 1/2 years (maybe plus) prior to finding out but I never knew it was kidney failure. It all started with me having a cough in the morning after waking up that would educe vomiting. It eventually went into just vomiting without cough. But I would be fine for 30mins roughly after first waking up then vomit, I would basiclly vomit clear liquid and it was like I didnt throw up any solids most of the time. It was on going for a solid 2 1/2 years. I also was tired alot but I thought that was normal part of life. Also during the 4? months prior to finding out my feet felt kinda tingly like neuropathy type feeling. ( I no longer have that feeling). I also was anemic like when doing more heavier activities or just sometimes walking up a flight of steps are walking a bit before I felt like I had to catch my breath but I thought that was just because I was out of shape as I never really exercised. Also I had a decrease in appetite since I was always vomiting. I lost roughly 50-70 lbs from January 2023 to September 2023. I first tried figuring out why I was feeling so Ill in January of 2023 and I believe I seen either a Nurse Practitioner or a PA. I told them I was throwing up EVERY morning and they said ohhhh "you just have GERD (Acid Reflux)" I told them it didn't matter what I ate it would happen anyways... They did not do a blood tests or anything. They just told me to take OTC meds for acid reflux which I did try and took Famotidine. It somewhat helped sometimes and then it didn't do anything even when taking two pills each night before bed. I then procrastinated on going in as I didn't want to spend more $$$ on medical bills than I have too even with pretty decent health insurance. I then had another symptom like 3 times during the summer of 23. I would randomly be standing for a while or walking and all of a sudden feel dizzy and my vision go white out,blury,and almost like black and white vision. I would have to sit down for a while and it would go away. I then in September of 23' went and seen a MD this time and she was like "theres too much going on, we need more information" so she ordered blood tests, stool and urine sample. I go do the blood tests and then go home to do the urine and stool sample but as I got home I got a phone call from the lab. The lab said "you need to go to the ER". "your Hemoglobin is 4.5 and your Creatinine is 24!" I went to the ER and got blood transfusions (I had 3? in total). Prior to finding out about my kidney failure I have never had any health issues. Then the ER sent me to a different hospital as they didnt have really any kidney failure specialists at that hospital. I go to the other hospital and they do tests and find out that I only have one visible kidney and that it has a lot of scar tissue shown on the ultrasound. They did tests to see what caused it to fail like immune-disease test but all showed nothing. I did not know I only had one kidney prior to all of this. They believe that my kidney was failing over a long period of time due to the amount of scar tissue. I was contemplating in the hospital of whether or not of pulling the plug on life or to do dialysis as that's the only option. I choose the dialysis option after being persuaded and counselled by family and friends and staff at the hospital. I then got a CVC put in me and now am on dialysis 3 times a week 3 1/2 hrs. I was doing fine in my in-center dialysis until January 2024 when I was getting unhooked and still had one line hooked up incase they had to give fluid back when BP's tank. Well I was getting unhooked and stood for my final standing blood pressure and was fine for about 20-30 seconds as the BP cuff was squeezing and then all of a sudden I felt blood rush to my legs and felt sweaty all over but wasn't actually sweating and also my vision went white out blurry like back in the summer of 23' like what ive experienced before. I thought I was ok but I legit just blinked and passed out and feel straight to the floor. I ripped my CVC clean right out (luckily the whole thing). I didnt feel it at all also since I was unconscious when it happened. I then got ambulanced to the hospital and had to spend the night and get a new CVC put in the next day which was saturday. After that excitement everything was going good until March of this year 24'. I woke up on a Tuesday and felt ill like flu/common cough cold symptoms. I had a dr appointment for a follow up of my echogram for kidney transplant work up through the U of Minnesota (im from MN). Im still yet to do my heart stress test and should be on the list as long as no other complications. Anyways Tuesday after the dr appoint. I ended up throwing up and through the night and next morning. I had Dialysis the next day Wednesday and didn't want to go to it as I was feeling like crap. But I told myself I better at least try and get some of it done at least if not all. I ended up going and during dialysis I was just shaking the WHOLE time. I was near the end of my run with 30-20?mins left and I was starting to have problems with my machine like TMP was low problems. The dialysis RN nurse took my temp and it was 105.7F! She told me I need to go to the ER after the run. I said ok. I got unhooked 20 mins early as we deemed it was ok in this situation. My mother came to pick me up and took me to the ER. I got admitted with sepsis but they were trying to figure out what caused it. I also wanted them to figure out a lump in my man area that I noticed growing since January but ive was procrastinating on it as I didnt want another medical expense. They did tests for both that and the sepsis. At first they though I had a UTI but then found out it wasnt. I had dialysis on Friday and when they took the gauze bandage off they noticed yellow puss/drainage at my CVC site. Then they did a culture and ruled out that was causing the sepsis. They did dialysis and then pulled the CVC out right after. They also did blood tests and ultrasound and CT scan of my groin area for the mass growth. They found out it was cancerous. I had testicular cancer. It was the size of a lemon they said. Luckily they believe I caught it early as it had not yet spread to my lymph nodes from the CT scan prior of removal. On Saturday they removed the cancerous testicular mass. I was in a 4.5 pain after the surgery. I could have taken Oxycodone if I needed it but I didnt take any pain killers, not even aspirin. The most of my pain was from a burning sensation from the underwear thing I had to wear as it was WAY too small for me and was digging into my waist/skin. and they didnt have a bigger size at all in stock at the hospital? Idk how tf not... the sensation only occured when trying to move around in bed or trying to get in and out of bed. walking I was fine and standing sitting it was fine. It was closer to a 2.5ish? during those times. but when it burned it felt like a 20/10. I then got a new CVC placed for the third time... on Either Sunday or Monday? I can't remember... Then Monday I had dialysis in the hospital and got discharged right after. During the hospital stay I received antibiotics and probiotic. Also they gave me a TON of fluids... I was a little upset that they basiclly didn't take any fluid off during my two dialysis treatments in the hospital... I think I had 8.5KG of fluid added to me during the hospital... I am still working on trying to get rid of it.... Anyways I got out Monday night and went home with Antibiotic pills. Tuesday I was fine until around 11pm at night when I was sleeping. I woke up and felt my shirt feeling drenched like I was sweating. I then though.. that's WAAAAY too wet to be sweat. I then felt near my neck and then felt sliminess on my hand. I then got out of bed and went to the bathroom and turned on the light to find out my shirt just DRENCHED in blood from my CVC site actively bleeding. I yelled for my mom to come help. She woke up and then helped clean the blood around the site and helped me change my shirt and get some gauze to hold pressure on the site to stop bleeding. (Thankful my mom is a RN of nearly 30 years). She then drove me to the ER and we get to the ER and they site stopped bleeding. They were going to give me a novacaine shot to help stop bleeding but ended up not needing it as it stopped on its own. They changed the dressing which was a tegaderm and bio-patch dressing. then they sent me home. It was my 24th birthday by then when I got home around 12am-1am... I am now currently at my Davita center having them use the tegaderm and bio-patch dressing with myself supplying that as all Davita has for CVC dressing is just gauze and tape.... Yet they state about how its high risk of infection but dont have proper dressings for them.... All the staff there agree that its stupid to just use gauze but its out of their control. I had to get protocol from my Nephrologist to be able to use the tegaderm and bio-patch and he approved for weekly change. Luckily my mom is a home RN and she had been able to jack some tegaderm from work and bio-patches but we are trying to get a medical supply company that we can buy from going through insurance and have insurance cover it. think found one and had my Nephrologist send a referral over... Also after the hospital visit they had me on oral antibiotics on my off diaylsis days and then got IV antibiotics put in my dialysis lines at the last 20-30? mins of treatment. Last friday was my last day of the IV antibiotics. Also I had a follow visit with the surgeon who did the cancer removal and she was a urologist also. She said she believes she got all of the cancer removed. based on blood tests and that it didnt spread to my lymph nodes prior to removal. Also that she was putting in the referral for me to transfer my case to the U of Minnesota cancer specialists since I was getting my transplant work up there. Im yet to hear from them. She did warn me that they may require me to do one round of chemo due to transplantation to make sure its all gone. Since the hospital visit I have been doing as good as I can in my condition. My symptoms of dialysis are pretty typical of the fatigue after treatment. I get done at 4:15-4:30ish pm currently and am tired a little at first but worsens as the night progresses. Once I have my nights rest the next day I dont feel fatigued as I did after dialysis but still fatigued. I also have had the feeling after dialysis where I felt like I was drunk like cognitively. Like spacing out type drunk. I haven't felt that for a while now though. Once when they took 3.5-3.8? off of me for fluids recently since my last hospital visit. I then had a good drop in BP but not (low) was still in normal range when finished with it and the dialysis tech noticed my face turn pale after sitting down from standing BP and trying to get the energy to stand up after getting unhooked. I had to get some fluid back. I have noticed my physical strength has gone down since dialysis. Before finding out of ESRD at my last job I use to periodically deadlift 125 lb bare engine blocks from the floor to a table that was waist height. as I worked at a engine remanufacturer shop. I forsure don't believe I have the strength to do that currently. Since I started dialysis I have no longer thrown up besides when I had sepsis recently. Also don't have that tingly feeling and coldness in my feet. My skin is sometimes super itchy all over. but other than that and sometimes low BP after treatment I have not had any other symptoms. I did witness a guy have a seizure after treatment which was his first time he ever had a seizure in his life. He got checked out and came back to the treatment center and said he was ok. having seizures can be symptom of dialysis for some, yet its rare. Also in my In-Center Dialysis center there use to be one of my childhood friends I use to hang out with that ALSO was in for end-stage renal failure. He is the same HS graduating class as me and the same age! It was a surprise to see him in there. He recently got a transplant back around Christmas/New Years. His surgery went great. Hope he has no complications for the next 20+ years. All my staff at the Davita center have been WONDERFUL. they make it a very tolerating experience and all joke with us patients and jokingly give us crap sometimes. Like "I love torturing you". Jokingly. Id say so far all the other neighbor patients in my dialysis center have been tolerable also. they all respect each other and keep pretty quiet. 98% of the time we all keep to ourselves. My mom even said takes care of someone in my center in their home as my moms a Home health RN Case manager. She cant tell me who due to HIPPA. But I have a feeling I know who.
Now on to the Rant/worries part
One thing that I have been dealing with since I found out of my disease is whether or not to continue the fight being i'm so young. I am fearful of getting a transplant due to all the possiable complications from surgery like infections. Also the anti-rejection meds causing cancer and having possibility of getting lymphoma cancer and risk of skin cancer. Also that my new kidney can reject at ANYtime with meds. Also I know that I would need a second transplant when I get into my 50s-60s If my new kidney so luckily lasted that long with no complications. I really strongly dont want to get a first transplant why would I want a second? Also I just dont want my body getting all cut open... But that is our only option for the freedom from dialysis. Our only choices are dialysis, transplant, or death. Right now I feel more on the staying on dialysis as long as my body can live. I have a CVC cath and they are really urging me to get a graft/fistula but I am avoiding it because of having to get stabbed with needles every treatment and having basiclly 2 ivs in me. I hate needles and IVs. So thats why I haven't gotten one yet. Also my mom telling me my arms will have a scar tissue from them. I have been contemplating nocturnal PD dialysis as I can have access to it. But my only problem is that is I live in a apartment with my parents and I would have no room to set the equipment up and to store the supplies. even if they split it up in 2 weeks shipments. I also currently have a summer seasonal job where sometimes I may have to work until 11pm at night and not get home until 11:30pm or later. And then wake up the next morning at 6am to go to work at 7-7:30am for a morning shift... I am just stuck with decisions and deep thought that makes me feel depressed even more than I already am. I Also worry about my finances deeply and that I don't want to be a burden to my family and a burden to my family financially if I were to ever pass. Also I think about having some type of will or something incase I pass away. I worry about my belongings after my death. Like I own two collector vehicles' and want them to go to certain people, also have a classic boat and want it to go to a certain person. Also the money in the bank to go to a certain person. All of that just consumes me every day. I am also going to college part time at a tech school. I have even contemplated about dropping out as is it even worth my time still going to college? Or atleast drop out until I resolve this health issue. So far I have not had to take any loans out for college and have paying as I go and also co-share a inheritance house with my brother that I have to help pay bills on. So far I have been financially stable but my bank is dwindling as I didn't claim unemployment over the winter as I thought I would had a found a winter job and didn't want to mooch of the system. I also feel like is it worth fighting for as I have no real meaning so far in life. I dont have any college education, I dont have a wife and kids yet like people my age already, let alone a girlfriend. The economy is in the absolute tank and doesn't look like it will EVER get better no matter who is president or in charge in politics. So its like what is the purpose of continuing besides being there for family and friends. I have talked to my social worker at Davita but not fully how I feel. She recommends antidepressants or therapy but I'm not going to seek help as its expensive and I have previous experience with both when I was younger around 7 years old when my grandfather passed. Both did not help me. I even seen three different counselors. It just took time for my depression to go away 95%. I was never suicidal like I never actually planned on actually killing myself or have actively tried going through with a plan. And currently am not suicidal, just depressed and feel hopeless. Also feel alone. even though I have a TON of support from family and friends that one could not imagine. Also I feel like not fighting and suffering like what my grandmother went through when she passed away. She had stage 4 Peripheral T-Cell lymphoma. She decided to do chemo and one round of chemo she went down hill. She was on a ventilator and basiclly her body started shutting down. She was going through that for two weeks suffering at least before she died. She was unable to talk to us and was almost in a vegetated state. she was able to tell us she was done fighting and to pull the ventilator. It was extremely painful to watch. My mother,brother,and I all spent the entire time in the hospital with her with her final weeks. We were with her by her bedside when she passed. To me one way or a another death is inevitable, no matter what takes you out. I believe god will call you to his kingdom when he calls for you and you have to be ready. I feel like besides getting my personal belongings to the people after my death I am otherwise ready for when he calls. I have been questioning since I found out of my ESRD that is this god calling for me? also when I got my cancer diagnosis. I question is god calling for me? Or is god punishing me?
Also Another rant is that I like my dialysis center but I feel like they are in violation of HIPPA as there is no barrier between us patients in chairs. Its just one big open room with like 13? chairs. No curtains or anything. So when the social worker, Nephrologist, dietitian come talk to you, your neighbors can hear in on your conversation with them. There is NO privacy. Also that Davita only uses gauze and tape for a bandage on CVC ports... That have risk of infection that the infection can EASILY get to the heart. I have already had sepsis due to it. Luckily it didnt get to the heart yet. where as tegaderm and biopatch is more effective on prevention of infection. Even my Nephrologist and the techs and nurse and even my RN mom ALL! agree that it is the best prevention in a bandage.
Life is just NOT fair to people. I really contemplate on the fight, I know I can have it MUCH worse than what I currently have and Im acting like "Bitch" but at the same time I feel like im going through alot of mental stress and mental worry that really impeades me ability to make decisions on my health. Lately I have not been following the renal diet fully, I believe I have gone overboard on somethings but I try to keep my diet in moderation in things. You have to live your life a little. We don't know how long we truly have wether in our control or not. Why live your life in fear for your saftey. Like the saying " Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! " I also haven't been taking my binders but out of just not wanting to take pills not out of "suicidal". My levels besides my sodium and calcium have been elevated. and of course the dietitian questions me and almost feels like judges me.
Overall kidney failure sucks and I dont wish this on anyone. I know it could be alot worse but its still bad enough as is and you really don't have a life whether your young or your old. Also that getting a kidney transplant is NOT A CURE!! There is "NO CURE" for end-stage renal failure. even with a new kidney to me you are still terminally ill. All you really are doing is buying time. Death is inevitable. I question why we fight it. When we are well off people have a sense of purpose and dreams and ambitions. But when you get a disease like kidney failure or such all of that seems to dwindle for some.
I pray for those who are suffering with me and those who have suffered and people suffering with other diseases and ect that there comes a time where they no longer suffer and can find peace.

Sharing this because I was looking for something like it this day a year ago and it might show up in the searches others do here in the future.
I had stage three renal carcinoma that required a radical nephrectomy.
8 Months Prior
I was at a convention drinking with fellow exhibitors and clients and went to the bathroom. I was pissing what looked like dark red blood. It was scary. Later that night, my right kidney was in extreme pain. If I could have gotten to the emergency room without an ambulance I would have. The pain went away about 8 AM and I foolishly decided it was just a kidney stone and didn’t think much more of it.
I’d randomly have slight amounts of blood in my urine for the next several months but it would always go away after a day.
Two weeks Prior
Woke up and really needed to pee but couldn’t. Got the point that I went to the ER and they put a catheter in. My urine was full of blood and scar tissue that blocked my urinary tract.
They did a CT scan and went out of their way to make sure I was referred to an oncologist immediately. My wife jumped through a ton of hoops and waiting on calls to get me to a doctor ASAP.
I cannot stress enough how important my wife being a bulldog on finding doctors and appointments was. Be an a-hole about finding your way into appointments. If it had been left to me, I would have gone several more months before being seen.
13 Days Prior
We got ‘forced in’ to the urologist who was very upbeat but not shy about the fact that it was likely a cancerous mass on my kidney. He referred me to an MRI which my wife somehow found an open spot for.
7 Days Prior
Went to the urologist again, he confirmed it was cancer, and said we’re going to cut it out in a week
Day 0
Had my radical nephrectomy. I was on a combination of fentanyl, morphine, and oxycodone. I felt absolutely nothing. I remember trying to pinch my finger and not being able to tell I was doing anything.
My incision was 10” long in a diagonal across my abdomen. It was rather extreme as far the amount of pain it would cause. The doctor was debating whether to go laparoscopic and I said I’d be okay paying the price for the pain if it meant he got to look around more.
Day 1
Evidently the drugs started wearing off because this was the most painful day of my life. I started crying at the thought that eventually I’d have to sit up. Even the thought of moving ½ an inch in the bed was pure torture. I cannot stress enough how much pain it was.
Day 2
My doctor convinced me to start trying to walk. THAT HURT SO MUCH. Getting out of bed was absolute TORTURE and I (a straight 220 lb 6’ male) still swoon over the thought of the one male nurse who was strong enough to pick me up and get me standing.
Day 3
I had a brief episode with my temperature spiking. I was “popular” as the nurses like to call it, for about an hour when the packed me with ice and gave me some stuff to bring me back in line.
Day 4
Got released from the hospital. EXTREME pain. The best idea we had was renting one of those automated recliners that old people use to sit down. It’s where I slept for the first few weeks.
Day 6
After two days at home, I decided to try to go to church. It hurt, a lot, but was worth it. It was my first big “win” and the first time in three weeks that I felt confident I would make it through this.
Second Week
Every day is better than the one before but everything is still painful. I’ve started increasing the amount of ‘laps’ I do down our 20-yard driveway by one each day. The last one is always painful but I’m able to do one more each day.
Third Week
Got the staples out. It was painful but nothing compared to what I had been through. My wife needed to stop by the office so she dropped me off a Jasons Deli to grab some lunch. I decided to push things and walk from there to her office, about half a mile, with the understanding that if it went bad, she’d come get me.
This was a mistake. I made it but the resulting pain set me back a few days.
One Month
I can move around relatively well but look like an old man all the time.
Both my blood pressure and heart rate are constantly way too high during this entire period.
Two Months
95% of the time, you I just look slow when moving around but if I do too much, I end up paying for it.
I had a CT scan to find anything that might have spread and thankfully didn’t find anything. I get started on Keytruda. The only side effect I have is itching and now I’m apparently allergic to air, my nose is always running like it’s the middle of cedar season.
Took the last of my Oxycodone pills one day when I was hurting but not in real pain. It had been a week since I had taken one. It wasn't until this day that I realized just how loopy I must have been for that first month when I was taking 2-4/day. That stuff is powerful and I'm glad I intentionally and deliberately tried to stop taking them as quickly as I could.
Three Months
I’m, unfortunately, able to put weight back on.
My blood pressure is back to the 125/85 range. Not perfect but it was the measurable that really stressed me out for the first several months. My kidney started picking up the pace and my creatinine numbers (if you're about to go through this, learn more about that) were in the 1.35-1.40 range.
No real pain but I don’t run.
Four Months
I only feel pain when I turn wrong.
Six Months+
I only have the side effect of itching from the Keytruda. Other than that, it’s hard to tell I had anything done.
I'm now consistently below 1.30 for creatinine except for the time I had blood drawn when I wasn't drinking enough water. Being deliberate about drinking water makes a difference.
One Year
I’m still on Keytruda another few months. There are no signs the cancer spread but I’m really looking forward to the CT scan in a few months.

hey everyone! i’m diagnosed with crohn’s disease, endometriosis, graves disease, and 3 disk bulges. i’ve been on percocet and tramadol for 6 years (26y). i’m ready to be done with the meds. my pain is at a very low level and at this point i’m only taking these meds because the physical dependence. my dose has fluctuated over the year but for the past 2 years has remanined at 15mg oxycodone (5mg pills 3x a day) and tramadol has always been 100mg in the morning. I feel super determined and strong willed so over the past 6 days i’ve managed to get It down to 5mg of percocet and 75mg of tramadol. it has been very difficult to say the least. I just want off them so badly but am I pushing myself too hard? how did you manage to get off your long term pain medication ? i’m most nervous to make that final jump when i’m ready. will the withdrawals be bad if I get the percocet to 2.5 then jump from there ? i’d love to hear any success stories or any advice ! i’ve just read so many horror stories that are discouraging! thanks everyone :)

I (30f) am dealing with a fairly severe disc protrusion between my L4 and L5 vertebrae in my lower back. I had this injuring before accidentally getting pregnant (I'm 21 + 5, FTM). I'm overjoyed to be pregnant, but also dreading the future as my pain has only become worse as I get bigger. At the moment, the disc protrusion is pinching the sciatic nerve in my right leg, causing burning, tingling, and sometimes numbing pain. The pain in my lower back and leg is debilitating and I have trouble standing and walking, sleeping and even sitting in some positions. I am in almost constant pain. Managing and trying to heal my injury is like a full-time job atm: I do physio, chiro, massage therapy, hot and cold therapy; I use magnesium cream; I stretch multiple times a day and do pregnancy safe exercises to strengthen my core. This is all to say, I am trying very hard to heal.
I met with my OB yesterday after a rough couple of days pain-wise. I cried throughout my appointment, from pain and being overwhelmed by the hopelessness of my situation. I described to him how much the pain was affecting my mental health. My OB takes my back injury very seriously, but as I understand, he is limited in what he can offer to me because I'm pregnant. Now, I live in Canada, and our healthcare is much different than the US. Although I am a strong believer in universal healthcare, our system has become increasingly bogged down in the past decade, and it takes a long time to see any type of specialist.
I've read that some women with similar injuries have successfully gotten surgery while pregnant. While this prospect scares the shit out of me, I am also scared shitless by the prospect of being unable to properly push during birth or pick up my baby postpartum and care for her. Although, because of Canada's healthcare system, my OB said it may be hard to convince a spine specialist to consider surgery because A) unless I become incontinent, it is not considered an 'emergency' and therefore there is a long waitlist, and B) I'm pregnant so they may not even be comfortable operating on me. He has referred me to a pain specialist and was able to get me an appointment in 10 days instead of the 6-8 months people usually wait. He framed this as a precursor to seeing a spine specialist and thinks that no spine specialist will see me without a referral from a pain specialist first. As well, he's prescribed me Tylenol with codeine. I don't know how I feel about this, but the pain is so consuming that taking something for a short period of time may help my body relax so my other interventions (physio, chiro, massage, stretching, exercising, etc.) can actually make a difference. At the moment, I am taking half of what he prescribed and it is helping. Please don't judge me. I really wish my pregnancy was different and I wasn't at this point. Finally, (sorry for the novel) my OB said that in the second trimester, I can take NSAIDS up until week 26. Apparently, according to him, they're to be avoided in the first and third, but okay for the second if necessary. I know NSAIDS are super important to healing disc injuries, so I'm considering it, but unlike T3s, which I did find information online about being 'safe' during pregnancy if necessary, I found super conflicting information about NSAIDS, and the prospect of taking them makes me nervous. Anyone else given this advice by their physician? Any information or advice or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated <3 While I am in talks with many healthcare professionals and will continue to listen to their advice and try everything available to me, I'm turning to reddit to see if anyone has an advice or if anyone has experienced a similar injury while pregnant.